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roach-works · 1 year

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I’m always a bit nervous to talk about being Jewish on the internet. In part, I’m afraid of getting outright antisemitic harassment, and in part it’s because a lot of positive discussion of Judaism ends up getting hijacked by oblivious goyim who turn the discussion sour, no matter how well-meaning they might be.

So, it makes me really happy to see you writing openly and unabashedly about being jewish. Whether you’re writing from a place of celebration, social-media-exasperation, sorrow, joy, education, frustration, or any of them at once, it’s always good to see people talking openly. I’m starting to think that I could follow your example, and be a bit less anxious.

I know I’m just a tumblr stranger, but I want say thank you. Even the little things help! :)

aw, thanks for the sweet ask! being jewish was definitely the least and most 'minor' piece of my identity until uhhhh yknow. nazis started being real again. but i remember slamming into this weird realization a couple years ago that i had put a lot of effort into learning to respectfully depict black people, because i wanted to be a thoughtful and conscientious ally, and because i firmly believed that fantasy and science fiction should belong to everyone... but i had never even once thought of drawing a man that looked like my family.

like, i thought i was white. and then i thought, i'm white and jewish. and then i thought, what if i drew this podcast character as jewish? what if i drew him as if he looked like my uncle or my dad or my brother? and then i felt, immediately, reflexively: absolute terror.

generational trauma, growing up in the shadow of the holocaust, living and working in the midwest, you just... you hide that part of yourself. you survive. you don't get loud and proud and angry. you live like a mouse, in the corners, in what space you gnaw out for yourself.

i still don't wear a star of david. so many of my coworkers wear crosses but so many of my coworkers have guns. i think of wearing a gold star around the people who i've already cheerfully told i was gay, and my hands sweat. i think everyone who goes outside with that kind of target on their chest is phenomenally brave.

there is a bone deep terror in me of my own jewishness, of when i'll have to pay for it, of what the bill will be, of what i might do or say that's a little too loud or clumsy or obvious or true, and thus sign my own warrant. jews are so brave and so strong to keep living through all this but like have you seen the midrash? have you seen how many generations of our sages left behind the distilled wisdom of a lifetime and it boiled down to be secret, be safe.

jewish representation is so fucking fraught! the theif, the banker, the pedophile, the goblin, the bones in the oven. we don't often get to tell our own stories, or wear our own faces. and even when we have the opportunity, it's terrifying. we flinch. how jewish is superman, really? our hero, our ubermench, the most famous converso. we joke around, we make coded allusions, we minimize.

it's hard to walk into the spotlight and smile when you don't know if you're in a theater or a prison yard, you know?

so. i don't know. i don't know! sorry to explode on you! i'm going to a christmas party at a bar tomorrow. i live in indiana and work a blue collar job with guys who think trump was a whole lot of fun but invited me specifically and promised to buy me a pint. there'll be ax throwing and free drinks and i'm probably going to have to explain hannukah for the fifty millionth time. second verse, same as the first, a little bit louder and a whole lot worse.

the sages write: be secret, be safe. survive. but even with all that weight, you've got to be brave, you know? i think you know. you can't live your life in the dark. you can't make art from the fetal position.

even the mouse deserves a day out.

#maus #jewish blogging #nightblogging #roach's kawaii life

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musicofthenightphantomoftheopera · 13 days

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So I'm back on my percy Jackson bs again and I saw this one post on Tiktok claiming that Solangelo is "Klance Coded" and I simply had to laugh because that couldn't be any further from the truth...

Klance is Red and Blue, Fire and Water type polar opposites in both personality and aesthetics

However, not every polar opposite style ship is "Red and Blue Coded" there's also Sun and Moon, ( Or in Solangelo's case, Sun and Star) Light and Darkness.

so basically, and this might be controversial, but I know those who will get it will get it, what I'm trying to say is.....

Solangelo is NOT Klance Coded.

Solangelo is SORIKU Coded

I can go into heavy detail, and I will!

Will is definitely a lot like Sora in that even when surrounded by so much bad happening or even when he's going through his own stuff, he still puts on a smile and pretends nothing is wrong. of course to his own detriment and also has self sacrificing tendancies. Overworking himself to heal others to the point of exhaustion and even down to the self esteem issues. Sora sees himself alone as worthless without his friends ("My Friends Are My Power") and Will feeling like Healing is the only thing he's good for since he didn't inherit any of the other natural talents most of his other siblings have as demigod children of Apollo. And the incident with Octavian probably didn't help either. They also have somewhat of a hero complex and struggle with dealing with the fact that they can't save everyone. Sora broke a major taboo in order to bring kairi back in kh3 because he didn't want her to die, and Will being a medic that had been through not 1 but 2 LITERAL WARS, one in which he lost several of his siblings and of course being a medic in general, no matter how hard you try or how good at your job, it's just a fact that you cannot save everyone that's put in your care. Also, Both Sora and Will are heavily associated with Light both literally and figuratively

And then we got Nico, who just like Riku was lost for so long in lieral and metaphorical darkness, both trapped in metaphorical labyrinths of their inner turmoil of thier feelings, their pasts, their trauma (wether it be losing someone they care about, or being abused and manipulated at the hands of a shifty adult figure for their own gain) , and feeling that they have no place of belonging. only to be brought back by the people that care about them the most and through their own self determination and strength. And also both characters associated with darkness literally and as a concept.

Riku and Nico also have a teensy bit of Angel character symbolism with Nico's last name being Angel in italian and Riku's original keyblade Way To Dawn having both a monster/demon wing and Angel wing at the hand guard and for the "teeth" of the keyblade

you could also argue Riku could technically be seen as a "Fallen Angel" type character since he was originally chosen to be a keyblade wielder by Terra but lost that right when he fell to darkness hence why the keyblade went to Sora instead, then Riku spent the next several games on a very angsty redemption arc.

And of course, Nico and Riku aren't strictly associated with darkness. Nico is a son of hades, a prince of the underworld, The Ghost King. However, he isn't all doom and gloom. He's still just a teenage boy that's secretly a giant nerd and is actually a a good kid.

Riku as well, has the power to wield both the powers of light and darkness and it was Riku's light inside his heart that sora reached out to that dark and stormy night on the beaches of destiny island that let him wield the keyblade in the first place

And don't even get me started on how Riku is 100% gay coded (don't beleive me? look up the "Riku Is Gay" video on youtube, grab a snack and enjoy. you're gonna be there a hot minute)

Both characters in both medias are opposites to each other but both also compliment and balance each other out. But not like Fire and Water. Like Light and Darkness. Not only hat, but the dynamic between Sora and Riku and between Nico and Will are kinda similar. not identical by any means, but enough to where I definitely noticed it.

If anyone else has anything to add to this, let me know! I had this lightbulb a few nights ago and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since!

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papermint-airplane · 2 months

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OC Questionnaire

I was tagged by @stargazer-sims, @drawing-way-outside-the-lines, @bool-prop, and @happy-lemon. Hehehehehe now I get to do more than one! 😈

Aiden Ayy 👽

Name: Aiden Ayy

Nickname: He was definitely that kid who tried to nickname himself and then got frustrated when nothing stuck. Despite his best childhood efforts, Aiden has no nicknames. 😭

Gender: Male

Star sign: Gemini ♊

Height: 5'8"

Orientation: Pansexual

Nationality/Ethnicity: 100% Sixamite

Favorite Fruit: On Earth, pineapple. On Sixam, grarglefroot. It's basically a pineapple except blue.

Favorite Season: Spring.

Favorite Flower: I think I answered this before in a different post with some wild ass flower that looks like it belongs on an alien planet which is great worldbuilding and all but I literally forgot what it was so let's go with basic bitch roses. 😅

Favorite Scent: Cinnamon.

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: Aiden is up for any of these as long as they're spiked. He hasn't yet learned that not everyone does that all the time and that it makes you look like you have a problem if you do.

Average Hours of Sleep: Aiden doesn't actually need sleep! He meditates to restore his brain power but sleep isn't necessary for him. He's a lot like D&D elves in that way. He can choose to sleep if he wants to, though, because dreams are fun and he looks cute when he's eepy. 🥺

Dogs or Cats: Yes. Any animal at all, really. Aiden is fascinated with them.

Dream Trip: Sixam. Poor baby wants to go home. 😭

Number of Blankets: "I'm worried what you just heard was 'give me a lot of blankets'. What I said was 'give me all the blankets you have.' Do you understand?"

Random Fact: Aiden is based on a Sim I created in the Sims 2 when I was 18 for a Bachelorette Challenge. It was, predictably, a disaster, and the poor baby kept having mental breakdowns. I decided it was because he was new to Earth and the stress of all the unfamiliarity wore heavily on him, but it was definitely because I didn't know how to cheat needs at the time. He got a visit from the invisible psychiatrist more than once, you know? It became a character trait! Aiden, the nervous alien who just wants love. 👽💚

Roman Gallan 🧜‍♂️

Name: Roman Gallan

Nickname: "Hey Asshole". Guess who gave him that one. Go on, guess. (It was his little sister)

Gender: Male

Star sign: Leo ♌

Height: 5'11"

Orientation: Gay

Nationality/Ethnicity: Icthyan

Favorite Fruit: He's super fond of this obscure Earth fruit called a "lemon". He eats them whole, peel and all. Somebody please teach him not to do this. 😐

Favorite Season: Summer

Favorite Flower: Any and all wildflowers.

Favorite Scent: Cedar. Beating the moth accusations for sure.

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: Coffee. He likes it bitter and strong enough to crawl out of the cup under its own power.

Average Hours of Sleep: 5 or 6. He should probably sleep more but it's kind of hard when the distorted whispers of the primordial god that created your planet are emanating from your eye sockets. Most Icthyans learn to accept it as kind of a cursed ASMR, but Roman tends to sleep light anyway.

Dogs or Cats: Cats.

Dream Trip: It says here in my notes that he's always wanted to visit Uranu--ROMAN, SERIOUSLY?!

Number of Blankets: Roman's a hot sleeper, so no blankets for him, thanks.

Random Fact: Like all Icthyans, Roman is amphibious. He has lungs and can breathe on dry land like any Earth Sim, but he's also able to breathe underwater for an extended period of time.

I think everybody and their dog has done this one by now considering ol' Professional Crastinator Laura's stellar time management skills. 🙄 Let's throw a few names out, though. @miss-may-i, @treason-and-plot, @llamabees, @bellakenobi, @kimmiessimmies, @rebelangelsims, @moyokeansimblr, @id-element0. As always, ignore if you've already done it or just don't want to.

#tag game #tag meme #just simblr things #oc development #oc questions #sim: aiden ayy #sim: roman gallan

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xerxeswitch · 3 months

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Red Flags in Witchcraft Books/"Information"

Take it with a grain of salt as usual. A read a good amount of them, own some, returned some... I'm not the master of what these books entails, but it's just about taking what resonates with you and your energy craft in general, and leaving out the rest. For beginner witches, there's no end all be all book. A lot of witchcraft books are going to be biased about something on what they believe and what they practice. However, there are SOME things that you do need to know by the book when it comes to topics like proper crystal/stone care, essential oils that are toxic to the animals in your home, what ingredients you should not smoke for health reasons... And even some ends on high magic where you need to do the ritual as read, drawing in the sigil as descripted to pull off something very traditional and ceremonial -- these I don't mess with. If they are of tradition to how some cultures/religions use them, they must be done by how they do it with respect and understanding. Just use practical common sense. .............. These are some of the practical things that made me put down a witchcraft/occult book and return it/throw it away: 1. Authors bragging they are masters of dragons/transmutations/faeries/demons/angels, etc. (So many of them...) While giving out beliefs as if they're absolute facts. Example: "Heaven and dragons are located in the center of the Bermuda Triangle. I know this because I'm a dragon master and they all listen to me because I was a high priestess. There's 14 clans and I'm in all of them. There are pink dragon clans, star dragon clans, warrior clan--" 2. Additionally to the first -- believing they're the ONLY ONES that can help people and they have no one else to turn to, or they are the only one who can truly have this ability. My way or the highway! (Seen a lot of these too) 3. Bringing in radical politics that has nothing to do with witchcraft. It's exceedingly annoying and unprofessional, especially when it has nothing to do with what I'm looking for. 4. -Extreme absolutes. 5. Initiation into a cult, and comparing everyone else outside of them as stupid, or even easy prey to manipulate. Personal experience: A "high priest cultist" once tried to initiate me and gave me his book. I won't say who it is, but he belongs to a cult where they saw themselves as superior beings, and humanity are just livestock to them. (They don't think they're humans) They promote rape/manipulation/child grooming because they believe it was their birthright to rule humanity. 6. More trivial whining, less information about the craft. 7. Claiming being something with how you're born with, makes you automatically better than the others. (Aka: Class A narcissism) Glorifying something that has no advantage of disadvantage, but only because it pertains to the author. These have nothing to do with witchcraft or being a better person. I immediately don't trust anyone who does this. One upping is never a good sign to get information from -- and they give off/bad vibes anyway off the bat. Examples: "Being bisexual makes you more likeable towards faeries than straight/gay people." "Being neurodivergent/normal makes you more psychic than normies/neurodivergent people."

"Being (insert race) makes you more psychic than (insert race)."

8. Replacing medical needs with witchcraft. 9. Treats spirits as if they're servants. ---- I'll add more or edit things when I get the time. I hope this helps.

#witchcraft #witch #witchblr #witch community #beginner witch #witches of tumblr #red flags

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lahazywriter · 8 months

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Singing My Sorrows (Reboot Wally x Reader)

A/N: This is part 2, to my previous (Reboot Wally x Reader). The character belongs to @bloodrediscream and some of the scenes are based off her artwork. Love your work! You're amazing. There are multiple POV's in this.

I chugged another shot down as tears spilled down my face. How could he do this to me? We spent 2 years together and he cheats on me! After everything I've done for him, the time I put into our relationship. I call over the bartender and ask for another shot. He slides one over to me, as soon as it touched my fingers I down it quickly. The alcohol burned my throat while my tears stained my cheeks. I bit my lips holding back anymore weeps. A soft sigh was made in front of me forcing me to look up at my server.

"You're going to drink me out of business if you keep this up." The bartender, Luka smiled down at me. He handed me a glass of water and some tissues. "Call it hindsight. but I knew you were too good for him."

I scoffed at the comment. "Yeah right." I take the water he offered me and slowly sipped on it. Luka has always been there for me. We've known each other since middle school, and I helped him open this place up once I graduated college. "Luka why haven't we gotten together? We've been friends together for so long it wouldn't even make a difference."

Luka gently patted me on the head. "Well, my sweet (Y/n) to put it simply. I'm very very gay."

My eyes welled up again and I face planted into the bar. My fist banging the painted wood. "It's not fair, I just want to be happy!" I looked up and picked up my shot glass giving it a little wiggle towards him. "Just give me the bottle."

Luka rolled his eyes at me but didn't argue. He had my card on file anyways, and I had more than enough money to pay for it. I already knew I was already nearing my limit so the bottle was more or less for show. I pulled out my phone and began looking through my contacts. I found my ex-boyfriend's number and proceeded to block then delete his number from my phone. He had been on there long enough. I went through all the pictures of us and deleted them. My heart felt heavy and my brain was dizzy. I hated feeling this way. I don't want to be sad anymore. I looked at the stage where the band was playing and then noticed the nearly empty crowd. I checked my phone for the time, it was almost 2AM. I glided my hands over my hair pushing it back and resting my hands on the back of my neck. Luka came back over to me cleaning a glass.

"Hey, I'm gonna close up soon. If you wait for me, I'll take you home."

I shook my head and tried to get up. "No. You've been making googly eyes at the drummer all night. I'm not cock-blocking your one night stand." Luka chuckled.

"I would rather you safe than me getting laid. Do you at least have someone to call to come get you?"

A small smile came onto my lips. At least someone cared about me. I looked through my phone contacts, scrolling through all the familiar names. Everyone I knew was either out of state or too far away. As I scrolled to the bottom of my contact page I noticed the saved number that I had yet to call. It had been 2 weeks since the meet and greet with the famed Welcome Home star, we had exchanged a few texts back and forth but nothing too meaningful. I clicked on his contact photo and looked at my autographed picture of him. I wondered if he was awake. The idea quickly left my mind when my phone was suddenly grabbed out of my hands. I quickly stood up to grab for it but my body failed me due to the alcohol.

"Does someone have a celebrity crush?" I felt warmth come to my face as I tried to regain my balance. "Ha that's too cute, he gave you his number on his autograph."

I reached for the phone again and Luka took a step back, the bar getting in my way. "Luka give it back please."

Luka looked at me and then back at the phone before giving me a knowing smile. "Oh you even texted him a little. Damn, girl you gotta work on your flirting. Sweetheart you've been single for how long?" He counted on his fingers and held them out to me. "2 weeks, and when did you meet this guy?"

I covered my face not wanting to answer. "The day I found out he was cheating on me." Luka nodded still holding my phone hostage.

"Well, maybe he can pick you up. It'll be good bonding time."

"Luka no, do not call him. If you press that button I promise you, I will throw a stool at you."

Luka looked at me with an evil grin in his eyes not caring about my promised threat. My eyes widened as I watched him slowly move his finger to the green call button on my phone. I began to raise a stool of the ground when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked behind me and saw the guitarist from the band, Mr. Romeo. He was an older gentleman, probably in his 50s who got roped into helping his grandson, the bassist. I remember when they first came into the bar and asked Luka for a gig, promising to bring in a crowd for the experience. Luka offered to pay them because of how good they turned out to be, but they all argued and just asked for free drinks and food.

"Hey, Mr. Romeo do you need something." I put the chair that I had begun to lift back on the ground.

"Would you mind doing some vocals with us Ms. (Y/n)? You know my grandson is always too nervous to ask you." He nudged me a little while giving his eyebrows a wiggle. A nervous smile came onto my lips.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Romeo I don't think I can. I've been drinking all night and I can barely walk straight. It wouldn'-"

Mr. Romeo shushed me and looked at the bar. He gave Luka a knowing look while putting his hand out. Luka slid him the bottle of Tequila I had been drinking out of. He grabbed my hand and placed the bottle in it with a big smile. Mr. Romeo went behind me and started gently pushing me towards the stage. "Nonsense, I know when you're drunk. Take a shot for every song and sing your sorrows. It'll be fun. I promise."

I rolled my eyes but stopped resisting and walked to the stage with him. I looked at the clock on one of the walls and internally sighed. At least the bar was about to close.

"You know I have a lag between my drinks."

Mr. Romeo just smiled ignoring my words as we walked up together. I sat the bottle of Tequila and my glass on the stool that was in the middle of the stage. I poured the liquid into my glass and quickly downed it as the music started playing. I felt my thoughts disappear and any doubts I had about coming up here. My nerves didn't exist as there was no one here to judge me and nobody I wanted to impress. The band started playing a generic pop song and as requested I sang the lyrics. Mr. Romeo was right, this was a fun and making me feel a little better. I began to move body and sway to the music, careful not trip over myself. The alcohol brought my voice out. I didn't care if it was terrible, off pitch or anything. I was too busy having fun to care.

~(o3o)~

Luca looked onto the stage with a bright smile on his face. He was happy you were doing something you enjoyed, even if you resisted at first. He did end up calling Wally as soon as you were on the stage, however he didn't answer. To his surprise, Wally called back shortly after. Luka wore a shit eating grin as he answered the call with no care of misunderstandings.

"(Y/n)'s phone how may I help you?" Luka spoke with a high tone customer serivce voice. He looked at you on the stage dancing, and bit back his excitement not wanting it to leak over the phone.

"Who is this? Where is (Y/n)?" Luka was surprised at how silky this man's voice was. Luka placed his elbows on bar, leaning his weight on them as he tried to picture the face Wally was making. Luka cleared his throat before speaking.

"Hi, this is Wally right?"

"Yes it is."

"Great! I'm a friend of (Y/n)'s."

"Uh-huh, that still doesn't explain why you have her phone. Where is she?" The voice sounded almost threatening, it sent a chill down Luka's spine. He shivered as if his body actually felt the cool feeling from Wally's tone.

"Well you see, (Y/n) is currently on stage singing and she needs someone to take her home as she is very drunk. I was wondering if you could do that for me?" A moment of silence went by before Wally spoke again.

"I'll come for her. Send me the address." The call ended as quickly as it started. It was sudden but Luka didn't mind, he shrugged and placed your phone in his pocket. He'd give it back to you once you were done enjoying yourself. He watched as you sang your heart out to these old and new pop songs. You always say you're never gonna go up on stage, but yet everytime you're up there you end up having the time of your life. Luka chuckled to himself while shaking his head. He moved to the tables of his usual late crowd and called cabs for everyone that was still here. The bar quickly became empty and it was just him, you, and the band left. He switched the sign to closed and went back to wiping down the tables.

The door to the bar opened, the sound of the bell causing Luka to look up. He saw a man on the shorter side with deep blue hair messily styled. He wore a white fitted t-shirt and black pants. His pants were accessorized with a maroon belt that bore a cute yellow smiley face on the buckle. It oddly tied the whole outfit together. If Luka wasn't helping you out he would've definitely tried his luck with who he assumed was Wally. Taking a seat at the bar Wally looked at Luka allowing him to see his jet black eyelids. He could understand why you liked him. He was hot. Luka fished for your phone from his pocket and quickly handed it off to the man.

"Here, so she doesn't forget it." Wally took the phone putting it in one of his pockets. Luka leaned towards Wally and pointed at you on the stage. "I give her 5 minutes before all the alcohol starts kicking in."

Wally irked an eyebrow. "Does she have a high tolerance or something?"

Luka laughed and shook his head. "Gods no. She has a very big lag though. She can start at 9 and it won't hit her until midnight. However, she's very good about keeping up with it so she doesn't get wasted."

Wally gave a knowing nod as he followed your movements on the stage. You looked sober from the way you were effortless moving on the stage and singing to the music. He locked eyes with you and gave you a small smile while waving. "She's pretty good."

Luka smiled placing a glass of water in front of Wally. "You should hear her when she's sober." Wally took the glass and took a sip. He suddenly began to choke on the water as he watched you take a pirate swig from a tequila bottle. He looked at Luka with a confused but amused look. Luka face palmed while pinching in-between his eyebrows.

After what felt like an forever, Mr. Romeo finally said last song. I felt relief flood my bones as I could finally take a break. I looked around the room and noticed a new figure sitting at the bar. My palms began to feel clammy as the figure smiled and waved towards me. My eyes widened as I recognized who it was. Before I could run off the stage, I felt a gentle nudge towards the stool. I looked behind me at Mr. Romeo who just shrugged and pointed at my mic. I looked at my glass that I hadn't refiled since the first song and instead went straight for the half full bottle. I took a huge swig of it before sitting on a stool in the middle of the stage. A familiar break up song started to play, but only one thought played in my mind on repeat. I'm going to kill Luca.

I steadily sat down in my chair as the song played. It was a fairly new break up song but man did it speak to me. I sang each and every note as right as I could. I made sure not to miss any lyrics and to stay on beat with the band. I looked behind me and Mr. Romeo and the rest of the crew were completely lost in the music they were making. As the noise died down so, did my voice and the song came to an end. There was a few claps from the only 2 people in the bar, I took a small curtsey and quickly went to exit the stage. I waved my goodbyes to Mr. Romeo and his group and headed for the stairs, not wanting to be in the way of packing up their equipment. Walking down the stairs proved to be a difficult challenge as that last drink had completely thrown me off balance. I felt my mind turn into mush, and slowly succumbed to the liquid poison. I tried to grab the handle but completely missed. I felt my knees buckle. I was going to fall, but before I could crash down the steps a pair of arms caught me.

"Nice song, you sang it like you wrote it." I looked down to see Wally staring at me with his sly grin and half lidded eyes.

I felt my face flush. I wanted to speak but no words came out. Wally held one of my hands as he helped me down the stairs, he wrapped his other arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer allowing me to lean my weight on him. I muttered a low thank you as he brought me back to my seat at the bar. Luka gave me a thumbs up as he poured me some more water. I pushed it away from me, letting the alcohol control my actions. Wally gently placed his hands over mine as he moved it to grasp the glass.

"Drink some water, and then I'll take you home."

I shook my head, and threw my hands in the air breaking our contact. "Never!" I giggle escaped from my lips as I stretched my arms into the air. I got up from my seat and pushed myself up to sit on the bar table. I crossed my legs and swung them from the edge as I hummed a tune. I felt a finger poke me in the back, I tilted my head back and looked at Luka. I felt my elbows buckle as I leaned backwards. Luka placed a hand on the edge of my back and gave me a gentle push foward. My body didn't resist and went with the motion.

"You're drunk go home."

"Am not. I am perfect."

Wally chuckled at my response and moved in front of me. He placed himself directly in line with my crossed legs, placing his arms by my sides caging me between them. Luka cleared his throat and said something about going into the back. I didn't really focus on it as my attention was drawn into Wally's eyes. They were a beautiful lilac color. I felt as if I would drown in them if I looked for any longer. I moved my hands from my sides and slowly placed them on Wally's cheeks. I squished his face in between my palms.

"Your eyes are so pretty, I feel like I'm being hypnotized."

"Can I hypnotise you to go home?" Wally gave me a small smile and placed his hands on my wrists. He cocked his neck to the side and gave me a concerned look. "How long have been crying for?"

I shrugged my shoulders. I moved my hands down from Wally's face and wrapped my arms around his neck. I pulled myself towards him, and leaned down placing my head in the crook of his neck. I just shook my head instead of responding to the questions. I felt my body losing itself to the warmth of his touch. I heard a chuckle as my eyes began to close.

~(-0-)~

Wally carefully lifted you up from the bar and felt you automatically wrap your legs around his waist, Wally fought back the smirk trying to sneak onto his lips. Luka came out just in time to see you off.

"Ah she became a backpack." Luka came up to Wally and gave your head a soft pat. He refocused his attention to the actor and handed him napkin with pen scribbled on it. He took it and shoved it in his pocket, careful not to move you too much.

"This is her address. It takes 15 minutes to walk there and even less to drive. Text me as soon as you get her home safely. My number is on her phone and she doesn't have a password." Luka's gaze turned serious as he spoke. "If you hurt her, I'll know. I will not hesitate to burn you to the ground. I don't care how cute you are."

Wally felt flattered and threatened at the same time. "Don't worry. She's safe with me."

Luka was correct, it took less that 15 minutes to drive to your place. Pulling up in your driveway, Wally looked at your sleeping face a smirk pulling at his lips. You were snuggled up with his jacket on you curled up against the passenger door. He pulled your phone out from his pocket, you had a cute background picture and no password. Swiping into your phone Wally texted Luka your status while also asking for the location of a spare key. Not a second went by before a response came in. Placing the phone back in his pocket, Wally got out of the car and focused on getting you into your home without waking you.

Setting you down on the couch, Wally fixed his jacket on you, covering your shoulders. You stirred and adjusted to the comfort of the cushions, but did not wake. Wally quietly moved away from you and headed into the kitchen. He grabbed a glass and filled it with water. He sat on the edge of the couch cushion placing the water on your coffee table. He had to admit it, you were an adorable mess. He moved a piece of fallen hair, tucking it behind your ear. His thumb gently caressed your tear stained cheek. You let out a heavy sigh and a smile formed. Wally removed his hand and took out his phone. He took a picture of your sleeping demeanor and set it as your contact picture. He leaned back into your couch with crossed arms and began to close his eyes.

He'd leave in the morning, for now he wanted to stay in the comfort of your company.

#welcome home #bloodrediscream #reboot wally x reader #reboot wally #x reader #fluff

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purple-goo-writes · 5 months

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For the song ask what about May I Have This Dance by Reinaeriy

Also, I love your ideas and your writings!

Thank you! I'm glad you like them! Also, I'm not surprised that this song immediately made me think of DC vs Vampires Hal Jordan. Cause I just love that version of Hal, he makes such a good villain there.

Plus this is an OG song about Gay Vampires so it fits lol. I immediately thought of Hal/Danny for this, which I don't know the ship name for. But I'm calling it Death's Will.

---

Featuring: Aged-up Danny, Hal/Danny or Death's Will, DC vs Vampires Au, Character Death

"You know out of everyone, I thought you would be the first to find me out," the traitor chuckled softly as he ever so gently wrapped his arms around the waist of his lover, floating so he could nuzzle the taller man's throat. Another chuckle rumbling up in the back of his throat, "I mean, after all you are the King of the Unliving, surely you would have noticed?"

The broad form in his arms stiffened, hands clenching into fists at his side, stubbornly remaining silent as he looked at the broken form of his lover's best friend. Eyes unable to leave the now glassy blue's that once belonged to a man who was like a living personification of the sun.

"Though, you are always so busy with your little Undead Court," Hal hissed as he pressed a mocking kiss to Danny's jaw, his hands moving to trace the stylistic D symbol pinning the star cloak to Danny's royal attire, "You rarely notice anything, do you dear? Just wishing to happily play at being normal when in this realm. To pretend that you are not a God."

"Why?" The King finally asked, words crackling like the breaking of ice into the deep ocean. Slowly turning to meet GL's gaze with his own blazing green, the weight of a universe within his eyes.

The vampire chuckled darkly, allowing his lover to turn in his hold, smirking darkly as Danny cupped his face, blistering gaze searching for any semblance of humanity left. "There are a million reasons why, Frosty, but my favorite is That I wanted to."

#dc x dp #dc x dp prompt #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc au #dp x dc prompt #hal/danny #death's will

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blueyluey05 · 5 months

Text

I'm just to copy and paste what I mostly said on Instagram because I can't be bothered writing the same description up again.

I was going to show this in an art dump post coming... But I got impatient.

This blonde haired non binary gremlin with Gai is Ash, the fourth (or fifth if you want to count Sheila) member I mentioned in my last post of the team.

So a bit of info about Ash: Ash(They/Them pronouns) is the fourth member of the team in SheZow Reimagined and plays the role of the brains of the team. They and their father moved to Megadale after their father got a new job as a scientist for the city's lab (I need to give it a name though). Ash themself is still learning to be a scientist themself so they practice by doing forensic science and inventing new gadgets (this part will be important later in the story).

But before they joined the team, they didn't have the best relationship Gai at the star. See, when Ash first joined the school, Maz was the first one to welcome them with open arms and after seeing the two hang out a lot. Gai got a little jealous. They do become friends after Ash helps Gai out on as SheZow and he decides to let Ash join the team.

There is more about Ash but we'll leave that until we get up to it. For now, enjoy the two sillies.

SheZow belongs to Obie Scott Wade

#art #artwork #digital art #fanart #illustration #rough sketch #fanmade #alternate universe #character design #shezow #oc #orignal character #concept art #concept idea

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symphonic-scream · 7 months

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I'd like to hear about the inaba au

Right right sorry it took me so long I was a bit sick today

Anyways- yes! Since I'm finally actually playing P4G I've built up a little more to the au! Aka. Given it some actual P4 flair

This is to say, I have the order of them being on the TV. Joker starts out with his besties, Ryuji and Ann, they're the starting trio. Ryuji's shadow is like a little kid, crying and sniffling cause he just wants people to like him,,

He's the track star, and he's been taught that it's a one persona sport. That he doesn't have to worry about his teammates, but they've come to resent him a bit for being the golden boy, and. Especially after he got arrested at the end of the last season and cost them greatly. He had been sent to get a "delivery" for his bastard dad. Turns out it was drugs, and he was accused of doping and all

He wanted to start this year fresh, but they all still hate him. He's cleared to compete since his tests never showed any signs of drugs, but. Y'know.

And then there's Ann! Her shadow, it's about how she sees herself as two faced. She hears what her classmates say. She's visibly an outsider, the rich bitch from the city. All she cares about is herself. So, she let's them believe that. But,

She's been in Inaba since elementary school! She's so sick of being the outsider when she's been there the whole time! She was there when that one kid pissed himself at graduation. She was there when their teacher threw up during an assembly. How come they still don't see her as one of them? She just, wants to belong,

Plus she's super gay for Shiho. But that's a given

So once they've got that covered, they're teaming up with the weird Horny Cat in the TV to hunt for the missing third year student. "Burger Girl", Haru Okumura. The last two to go missing died, and. They're determined to save her

Haru's little TV set is themed like a fancy restaurant. She's also from the city, her parents used to own a 5 star elite restaurant. Then, her mother died, and her dad moved them back to her mother's hometown, opening up a food truck where he experimented on American style food. Burgers, mostly

Haru sees her dad stressing over the bills sometimes. Or, crying at the little shrine they have in their small home for her mother. Haru, sees a lot of it as her own fault. Talk on the town is she's going to take over Big Bang, but. She, doesn't want to. She feels trapped in this confusing legacy.

Her shadow has this big fake smile, in half of a formal waiter outfit, the other half the cutesy Burger Girl outfit she wears daily. Her shadow is loud about what she wants. Haru meekly argues back from the floor, tears in her eyes, as her shadow screams about wanting to be free from that dumb title. "Burger Girl."

Then, Haru, she just shouts. "YOU'RE NOT ME!" It's silent. The others watch in fear as her shadow transforms, the tears finally flowing down Haru's face

They rescue Haru, and her dad crushes her in a hug when she returns. In this, all he cares for is his daughter. She joins the group, and agrees to help them find who pushed her in

Next up would be Yusuke. TV victim 2.

He and his mother live in town, where she runs an art shop that is frequently filled with children attending lessons. His mother was left disabled after her former teacher attacked her to claim her art for his own, and to protect her son from a similar fate, she now refuses to produce art herself

Yusuke. Really cares for his mom. She's given so much, and he feels he has to be good, better, to repay her for all she's given him. He's a tortured artist. He barely knows who he is, but he expects himself to be great

His little TV set is, abstract. Colours everywhere, as if Yusuke himself flung the paint around in anger. It's a sensory nightmare, and when they reach the end, it's to a blank room

Yusuke kneels there in the centre, chained to the ground by chains of clay and paint. His shadow, dressed in a torn but colorful smock, scowls down at him, paint palette in hand. Hurling insults and colour at Yusuke, about how he's a fraud, he's not meant to be an artist, he's a disappointment and a disgrace

Yusuke is silent the whole time. When he looks up and sees his classmates and the third year in the room, he's filled with. Horror almost. "This, it isn't me, I swear-"

"DONT LISTEN TO THE LITTLE FRAUD, HE'S NOTHING! HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT THE WORLD, OR THE TRUE PAIN OF AN ARTIST!"

"stop it, please,"

"HA! IF MOM ONLY KNEW WHAT A SHELL OF A MAN SHE WAS RAISING... MAYBE SHE WOULDVE BEEN BETTER OFF GIVING US UP TO THAT MADARAME AFTER ALL!"

"YOU'RE NOT ME, SHUT UP!"

And queue the fight, the room slowly filling with colour as they fight and such. And they drag Yusuke back home, where his mom sobs as she holds her son, she was. So terrified while he was missing,

Oh also, he has pet lobsters. They're named after famous female artists, and he insists the lobsters are soulmates. The true lesbian icons of Inaba.

Anyways next up? Their Navi! Futaba!

This one. Is my favourite idea. So, y'know how Rise is an Idol? Futaba is. Behind one of the most famous vocaloids ever. She develops the vast majority of her songs, rigs, and is responsible for keeping this Internet sensation up with the times. She even poses as this idol for interviews and such

...she's Hatsune Miku.

"wah wah but Scream she should be Alibaba because-" NO. ITS MY AU I GET TO CHOOSE THE SILLY

Anyways. Ryuji is a huge Miku fan and is excited to see the face behind his favourite idol and. He sees Futaba and. Just stares. "Dude. Hatsune Miku is a Weeb."

Futaba is, an orphan. She was living with a programmer for a while but, he got caught up in some. Allegations. And it was no longer safe for her to be around him. So, she was sent to Inaba where someone who worked with her mom owns a little coffee shop

(psst. That's Sojiro)

He doesn't have room for her and she. Is a shell of a person. Didn't go outside for years, doesn't know how to be a proper person, and. Fears no one would like her for her,

So her TV set? It's. Like diving into a computer. Wires and coding along the walls, electronica music. The further in they go, the clearer it becomes that the voice they hear singing isn't Miku, it's. Futaba. First floor sounds like Miku, last floor would just be Futaba

And her final room is a hate shrine. Torn posters of Miku, statues with the heads missing, even a computer with a bat through the screen. Shadow Futaba seethes about how she hates Miku, how she's taken everything from her, that. She'd be better off if she'd never created her. No one loves Futaba, they only love Miku.

She goes as far as to shout that, the world would be better off with just Miku, and that Futaba should just. End it. Futaba is shaking, and mumbles about how, no, no, that's not it,, that's not her-

When things simmer down, she ends up living with the Niijima's like Joker. She spends a lot of time at Sojiro's, learning about her mom, but really, he wasn't prepared for a kid at the time and. She wasn't ready for that either.

And then they'd have to do Morgana's, and. I'm glossing over that we can probably all guess how it would go

So the final TV set they have to venture into, is Makoto's. She's last. Her issues have been boiling over on the side the whole time, watching her "cousin" quickly becoming friends with people she's grown up with, and. Being left on the side once again

Her set is like an empty school. Papers on the floors, flights flickering, spray paint on the windows. But, they catch Makoto's shadow doing the spray painting somewhere inside, and it makes the team kinda. Question if, they really know her

Her shadow is like. In a science teacher getup, but. Way more punk. Black torn labcoat, wild hair, and. In her final room, faceless women dressed in very sexy getups all over her behind her desk. She openly flirts with the girls on the team too, leaving poor Makoto on the ground horrified

"no, no I'm a feminist- I'd never-"

"Ha! At night, we lie awake and Crave, we wanna pin em down and fu-"

"NO! THIS ISNT ME-"

Shadow Makoto is about how. She hates being the rule follower. She's always wanted nothing more than to break free and experience, life. Also, feeling bad about being gay. Shes got some internalized homophobia

They beat her up and take her home, and. Yeah

OKAY THIS WAS LONG WINDED BUT. INABA AU.

#makoto niijima #haru okumura #persona 5 #ryuji sakamoto #persona 5 inaba au #ann takamaki #futaba sakura #yusuke kitagawa

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setaripendragon · 1 year

Text

Sunlight by Hozier - in Mando'a

If you remember this post where I translated I See Fire into Sindarin, you probably won't be all that surprised by this. I've fallen head-first into the Star Wars fandom (admittedly second-hand, but still), and of course, being me, I went straight for the conlangs. Mando'a might not be the most fleshed out language of the GFFA, but it is the one with the most Culture, at least in the fandom, so it's the one I gravitated to. And honestly, I really like how... brisk it is? It drops unnecessary pronouns and verbs, barely bothers with tense at all, and contracts everything. It's so much fun to play with.

Sunlight isn't the first song I started translating into it (that would be Born For This from the Spiderverse movie), but it is the first one I've finished, because matching Mando'a to English scansion is hell. It struck me as a very Codywan song, which is why I picked it to translate (yes, I do imagine Obi-wan composing/singing it in honour of Cody pretty much every time I listen to it).

I did have to make up a couple of words because the dictionary I use didn't have even a near-equivalent to the concept I was looking for, and those will be marked with a * and I'll add the 'etymology' of them at the end. (If anyone knows any other Mando'dictionaries, throwing me a link will win you my undying gratitude.) I also had to get creative with my interpreations of the meaning of certain lines, since, just to pick the most obvious example, Mandalorians probably don't have the myth of Icarus like we do.

Any feedback, advice, or just general linguistics flailing is always welcome. Now, without further ado, here it is:

Tran'nau* (Sunlight)

Ni ru'nevor nau (I shunned the light) Ru'medinui naak be ca'tra (I shared in the peace of night) Ni nu'mirdi ba'slanar (I wouldn't think to leave) Par tran'nau, tran'nau, tran'nau (For sunlight, sunlight, sunlight)

Tion'ad karta nu'redal (Whose heart doesn't dance) Dar'shekemi tra be ca'tra (Wouldn't abandon the stars of night) Sha solyc hettyc haa'it (At first burning vision) Be tran'nau, tran'nau, tran'nau (Of sunlight, sunlight, sunlight)

Ni r'echoyla ba'gar, tran'nau (I was lost to you, sunlight) Ru'miy sa kisen* ba'gar, tran'nau (Flew like a moth to you, sunlight) Ner tran'nau (My sunlight)

Gar kar'tayli tran'nau (Your love is sunlight) Gar kar'tayli tran'nau, tran'nau, tran'nau (Your love is sunlight, sunlight, sunlight)

Gehat'ik arasuum (The tale remains the same) Ru'rejor bal ven'rejor (Told before and told again) Runi ru'got* lo ciryc pitat (The soul that's born in the cold rain) Kar'mir tran'nau, tran'nau, tran'nau (Knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight)

Mar'e lis dinuir gai (At last I can give a name) Ba tracin haaranovyc (To a hidden flame) Sa kar'tayli darasuum (As love/knowing forever) Ner tran'nau, tran'nau, tran'nau (My sunlight, sunlight, sunlight)

An tengaana ba'ni, tran'nau (All that's displayed to me, sunlight) Ratiin kar'mir ba'ni, tran'nau (Is always known to me, sunlight) Ner tran'nau (My sunlight) Gar kar'tayli tran'nau (Your love is sunlight) Gar kar'tayli tran'nau, tran'nau, tran'nau (Your love is sunlight, sunlight, sunlight)

Gar kar'tayli tran'nau (Your love is sunlight) Gar kar'tayli tran'nau, tran'nau, tran'nau (Your love is sunlight, sunlight, sunlight)

Tran'nau (Sunlight)

An ner alii'gai* lo gar gaan solus (All that I am is in your hands) Ke'juri ni ulyc, ner tran'nau (Carry me carefully, my sunlight) An ner alii'gai* lo gar gaan solus (All that I am is in your hands) Ke'juri ni ulyc, ner tran'nau (Carry me carefully, my sunlight)

Antuur* mhi cuy tome (Everyday we exist together) Kar'mir gar ner shereshoy (Know that you're my reason for living) Ner oya bal kyr slati* gar (My life and death belong to you) Ner tran'nau, tran'nau, tran'nau (My sunlight, sunlight, sunlight)

Narbatir* sen'tra (Wearing a jetpack) Kyr'nayl'gam* briikasyc (I'm death-trap clad happily) Galar carud ni trattokor (Spilling smoke I fall) Chur tran'nau, tran'nau, tran'nau (Under sunlight, sunlight, sunlight)

Gar kar'tayli tran'nau (Your love is sunlight) Gar kar'tayli tran'nau, tran'nau, tran'nau (Your love is sunlight, sunlight, sunlight)

Tran'nau (Sunlight) Tran'nau (Sunlight) Tran'nau (Sunlight) Tran'nau (Sunlight) Tran'nau (Sunlight)

[*tran'nau = tra (star field)/tranyc (sunny) + nau (light)] [*kisen (moth) = kih (small) + senaar (bird)] [*ru'got (born) = ru- (past prefix) + goten (birth)] [*alii'gai (identity) = aliit (clan)/aliik (sigil/symbol) + gai (name). This is technically already a word that means 'colours', but I took that to mean specifcally the colours one wears on their armour, the 'face' they show the world, i.e. their identity.] [*antuur (everyday) = anay (every) + tuur (day)] [*slatir (to belong to) = slanar (to go) + ti (with). I took the inspiration for this from the etymology of the word 'belong' in English.] [*narbatir (to wear/to put on) = narir (to put) + bat (on)] [*kyr'nayl'gam (death-trap-skinned) = kyr (end/death) + gaanaylir (to trap) + 'gam (skin). Since beskar'gam is literally 'metal-skin' and the word for skin literally translates to 'soft-skin', I figured it could also be poetically used to mean 'clad in']

#Mando'a #Star Wars #Codywan #song lyrics #translation #conlanging #Mandalorians #back on my linguistics bullshit #why yes I did deliberately not-quite parallel mandalorian wedding vows in this #and I figure the mandalorian version of 'wings made of wax' would be like a shitty jetpack or something #this is just what I do when I have writers block #and I've had a lot of writers block this last couple of years #I have SO MANY half-translated songs on my hard drive #so many

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therealvinelle · 2 years

Note

The Cullen fortune is gone overnight. The rest of the Cullens have to get jobs to support their lifestyle.

What jobs would you suggest for them to experience growth/be the best version of themselves? (minus Carlisle, for whom I'm pretty sure the answer is just doctor, unless you have other thoughts)

Alternatively, what jobs would they be objectively terrible at, but you find really funny to imagine them having just the world's worst day at work doing?

Oh this has got to be the best anon I've received all year.

Right then, the Cullens lose their money, we'll say the wealth-eating vampire Ivan (turned in 1929, this bolshevik is on a mission to create a communist utopia, and has the gift to go with: he has the power of liquidating all assets belonging to private persons and companies and giving it back to the state) set his eyes on them and it's history from there.

For the sake of simplicity, we'll say the year is 2008, they're all still living in Forks.

The Cullens could get by on Carlisle's paycheck, he makes enough to pay the bills and buy them something nice every now and then. It's stretched a bit thin, though, the Forks hospital can't afford as much as a hospital in a bigger city could and there are nine of them. He's got the bills and a shared family car (that he (wait for it) has to buy from Billy Black) covered and not much else.

They've got to get jobs.

Alice decides it's time to no longer do what she's good at for free: she's going to become a clothes designer and fashion consultant. With her skill she will take the fashion world by storm, with her family she has the glamorous models in the box already, and with her gift she'll have a failsafe ensuring no idea she has ever fails. She is already planning the Met gala outfits she'll outfit stars in.

The trouble is this: she has no brand and no clients. She's starting at rock bottom.

Never fear: she makes a battle plan for herself. She'll start small with a neat-looking website, promote herself as so exclusive that the reason you haven't heard of her is because she's that big a deal, and she'll attract clients with her amazing concept designs.

She gets Carlisle to invest in the hottest new thing: a stark white MacBook (Image below), gets Rosalie to program the website (Rosalie cries because the programming she knows is from studying astrophysics, she can give you an animation of a sphere's trajectory through a frictionless space if thrown at various speeds, she has no idea how to make a website. She ends up making Alice a blog at Wordpress. It has really nice HTML, though), now it's portfolio time.

Portfolio time goes terribly: Carlisle won't let her publish photos of the family on the interwebz, and the making clothes part of the equation turns out to easier said than done because Alice wants quality merchandise, but quality fabrics are expensive. Carlisle offers to make her fabrics out of wool and hides from the animals they hunt, offering that it would be a rustic look, and she has a horrible feeling he's being serious.

(Alice is in the red)

We cut to how Emmett is doing.

Emmett was thinking he'd get work as a lumberjack, it would be fun and manly, but then Alice bought that computer which has a webcamera and he thought, why not become a fitness instructor? That could spell money.

He asks Carlisle if the computer is a family computer and not just Alice's, Carlisle says yes, Alice fumes, and Emmett sets up a studio in the basement. He publishes one video per day, and his ridiculously muscular frame combined with being an insanely beautiful man wearing a blindfold so he'll be less recognizable (Carlisle's stipulation) while physically exerting himself makes him an instant hit among gay men and straight women everywhere.

(Emmett is in the green)

Esme was inspired by Alice quoting "if you're good at something, never do it for free!" and decided to become a cleaning lady who also cooks. This works really well for the first few weeks: she's incredibly sweet so everyone likes her, she's a white woman so the racists don't worry about giving her access to their possessions, and she's alarmingly talented at what she does. One hour of Esme in your home, and your house smells like cookies and looks cleaner than an operation room.

(Esme is in the green)

The problems arise once Esme's instinct to care for others conflict with her work.

Sooner or later someone struggles to pay her, or it becomes clear simply from the state of their house that this, having someone make their house look nice, is them splurging.

Esme was once on her own, working to make ends meet, and her apartment looked terrible not because she didn't try to keep it clean, but because between working, being pregnant, and saving up for a baby she had no money or energy left to do things like fix flaking tapestry or a rocky chair. And having a clean, pleasant space to live in- it sounds frivolous, but that matters.

She decides to lower the price for cleaning people's houses, and expands so she's now home maintenance, not just cleaning. Instantly she has more clients than she did before. So she expands her work hours, and lowers the price again.

Before long, she throws the towel in and starts working pro bono.

The money she made are spent on supplies, and she starts leeching off of Carlisle's paycheck.

(Esme is in the red)

The family never sees her around anymore, meanwhile the denizens of Forks are now much happier for having a real life Mary Poppins running around town helping everybody. There's a general sentiment that they should do something for this poor woman, who works pro bono for the town's poorest even when her family lost all their money. Between that and adopting all those kids, the Mr. and Mrs. Cullen are starting to look like saints.

Hey, isn't her daughter trying to start a business?

Alice gets her first few clients, three to be specific. One is Jessica Stanley's cousin who's getting married and thought she could save on the dress by having her cousin's former classmate design it, the other two are forty-something women who were touched by Esme Cullen's initiative and thought they'd do something for her daughter. Can't Alice design each of them a gown for weddings and other formal occasions?

Alice wants to be happy she's finally getting off the ground, except-

Those two forty-something women are not the kind of clients she wanted. They're not young, for starters, and they're... well, she isn't sure how to say this to them but if they want to wear one of her designs they're going to have to lose a few pounds first. And get a makeover. It's fine, she can give them a makeover, and Carlisle can set them up with a diet to lose weight (what's that, he can't? Why not? He's being completely- oh, jeeze, fine. Rosalie can come up with the diet then! Or tell them to just stop eating, period, that works too.), Alice will airbrush the photos to hell in her portfolio, THIS IS FINE.

It's not fine.

The ladies get offended and cancel their orders when Alice tries to explain this over the phone, which just goes to prove that Renesmee really needs to learn to leave the room already whenever aunt Alice has a phone call because if she'd been able to See what would happen then she could have found a way to phrase this that wouldn't have lost her two clients.

She's left with Jessica's cousin, who gave her a budget of $500.

For a wedding dress.

And Alice doesn't get to decide anything else, she knows from her gift that the wedding will be- not the worst she's seen, but a pitifully forgettable mediocre with a boring colorscheme and ugly bridesmaid dresses. Nope, she's just going to have to sit there and watch that happen, design a gorgeous dress for this subpar wedding.

Pearls before swine.

Alice tries to reason with Jessica's cousin, and offers to design the dresses for the bridesmaids at a discount. She won't ask them to lose weight, she will pay for the fabric herself if that's what it's gonna take. Fuck, she'll do this for free. Oh, what's that, Jessica's cousin, you already got the dresses? At H&M?!

... this would be a stain on her portfolio. It wouldn't advance her career at all. Alice has got to get out of this.

Jessica's cousin fires her before she can quit.

(Alice is in the red)

Jasper becomes a drug dealer.

(Jasper is in the green)

Edward and Rosalie, meanwhile, both decided that they wanted 9-5 jobs that would get them their paychecks without having to build anything.

Rosalie gets a job as an electrical engineer at an established company that'll pay her big dough, and she now has a bigger paycheck than Carlisle. The problem is that she's a young blonde woman working in STEM.

Rosalie proceeds to spend her workdays being sexually harassed by some colleagues and belittled by others, and has a terrible time.

Still, she stays on the job, because she really really wants to be able to buy things again.

(Rosalie is in the green)

Edward, with his gift and medical training, figures he would do great as a therapist. Steady supply of money, could become a lot of money if he makes a name for himself, and he'd be making a difference for people who really need it.

Carlisle is thrilled: finally, one of his kids isn't telling well-meaning ladies to lose weight, pandering to horny people on the internet (to be fair, no one has had the heart to tell Emmett this. Rosalie moderates his comment section zealously), dealing drugs, or being harassed by sexist pigs! Go forth into the world of psychotherapy, Edward, make that difference!

Edward gets certified (read: Jasper pays Mr. Jenks a visit) and, wanting to prove that he's modest and wants to do good by the world rather than seek money at his earliest convenience, accepts a job as a councillor for college students.

(Edward is in the green)

Edward proceeds to spend his days listening to students with petty problems such as doing poorly in class, breaking up with their lovers, and blah de blah. Edward could not care less about their problems. They're lying through their teeth, too, making the whole thing in an exercise in frustration.

He quits after a month.

Throughout all of this, Bella has been floundering. She has no marketable skills, and... though she won't admit it even now, she did not become a Cullen so that she would have to worry about going to work and making ends.

Just- god, she didn't care about the money, at all, definitely not, it's just that it wasn't supposed to suddenly be gone!

She eventually gets it together and starts applying for jobs.

She doesn't get any of them, not when she's applying for office jobs with nothing to show but a high school diploma.

She starts applying for retail jobs.

The worst application, by far, is calling Newton's and asking if she can have the job back (she can't, they have a new girl. They're very sorry).

(Bella is in the red)

Renesmee, wanting to pitch in, asks her grandpa Charlie if she could get a job. He lets her be his secretary, and she makes $30 per hour telling people to go to the waiting room.

(Renesmee is in the green)

Bella's daughter is now networking better than her and making more money than she ever did. Her daughter is less than two years old.

She asks Carlisle if he's got a job for her, and Carlisle takes pity on her. She is to be his secretary, just man the phone and tell people Dr. Cullen is busy when he is in fact eating squirrels in the woods before a surgery.

(Bella is in the green)

It's terribly unfortunate, then, that Bella in her awkwardness manages to make it sound like Dr. Cullen is masturbating in there (He's taking care of business, har de Cullen inside joke har har. Seriously though, you don't want to disturb him right now.) and has absolutely no ability to keep things secret so she will openly tell anyone and everyone who is seeing Dr. Cullen and for what (I can't believe Mike's got an STD! And he let it get so far, holy cow I hope somebody told Jessica. Oh my god, someone should tell Jessica).

Carlisle is put in the unenviable position of having to fire his daughter-in-law.

Alice gets desperate enough to try Carlisle's animal hides idea, and Carlisle finds himself working round the clock as he gets home from the hospital, and immediately has to go hunt down good pelts so he can then slave away in the one-man sweatshop she set up making woolen gowns. He makes sure Esme is out cleaning 24/7, lest she be dragged into this as well.

Alice still has no clients, but that she'll think of something.

Any day now.

(Alice is in the red)

Emmett gets sued. Turns out his channel was getting people hurt (lift with your backs, guys! When you're stretching, try to make it fast and jerky! Keep pushing if you're uncomfortable, that's when it's getting good!), so now he has legal problems.

Carlisle, Rosalie, Edward, Bella, Jasper and Renesmee each have to pitch in the money they've made to fight this lawsuit and pay the monstrous fine Emmett gets slapped with.

(Everyone is in the red)

The Cullens hold a strategy meeting.

Who's actually made money, who's going anywhere?

Rosalie's making dough, but she's not going anywhere due to sexism in the workplace keeping her from advancing.

Alice may have gotten off to a rough start but she is going somewhere, she assures them. She just needs to change her brand: streetwear and smart casual are much more marketable, and it can still be high end, she'll just make it more down to earth. How's that?

Edward reads in her mind her ideas for $600 sheepskin tank tops, and grimaces, but he's not suicidal enough to say anything.

Carlisle is already making as much as he can at that hospital, if he wants to make more he'd have to move. And then Renesmee and Jasper would be out of work.

Renesmee is actually doing rather well for herself, she's now running errands and taking small jobs around town, picking up $20 here and $50 there. Everyone agrees Edward's niece is a delightful little girl, and she's successfully gaslighting them that she's always been this tall. Or this tall. Or this tall.

Jasper has progressed as well, he is a cleaner now. No, not the same kind as Esme. He's making more money than Carlisle and Rosalie combined, though, so Forks (Well, Seattle. And the state of Washington, really, his guys know distance isn't really a problem for him) is good by him.

Emmett still has his YouTube channel, he's posting videos of himself flexing his muscles and lifting things. People are strangely willing to pay to see that, he's got commissions to eat and wear various objects and everything. Crazy world, eh!

Realizing that his brothers are now doing better than him, one by being a gangster and the other by posting softcore porn, Edward decides to get back into psychotherapy because goddamnit this won't stand.

Bella asks Renesmee if she too can run errands and be Charlie's secretary. Renesmee readily agrees, her aging was getting too obvious anyway. She becomes Bella's... manager, is the term they land on: Renesmee gets the gigs and Bella does them, both make money.

On seeing Alice struggle without initial capital of her own, Renesmee decides that Alice can run errands too. That way, Renesmee's operation can expand and she will be more effectively be able to compete with the other kids in town trying to make dough or that accursed Esme who cleans and paints houses and mows lawns for free. How do we compete with that? By being cheaper than the other kids and better than Esme!

She has to get more manpower to pull this off, so Emmett and Edward get pulled in as well.

She ends up working Alice, Bella, Edward, and Emmett so hard that Alice's fashionista dreams get put on hold (this is also because she's making such lousy money being a one-year-old's below-minimal-wage-worker that after six months she still can't afford any of the things she needs to get started), while Renesmee has the money to hire the kids who were formerly her competition. To keep them on retainer she has to actually pay them, of course, something she didn't have to do with her family because family will work for $5 a gig.

(Renesmee is in the green)

In the end, Ivan the wealth-eating bolshevik vampire is appalled by the monster he created in Renesmee. In his outrage he takes all the Cullens' assets again, and tells the Volturi on them because he won't stand for such blatant exploitation of the workers!

Aro can't even.

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thegeminisage · 14 days

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it's star trek update time. last night* we watched, well,

pics taken moments before disaster ^

sighing deeply. ok. *i'm typing this at fuck o clock so technically it was earlier today but this post will go up while i'm at work. anyway here we go:

dark page (tng):

i don't want to talk about it.

rules of acquisition (ds9):

me having to watch this after dark page must count as some kind of cruel and unusual punishment

i was hoping ds9 could make me like the ferengi. i think whoever wrote this episode was trying. dax's little pro-ferengi speech. sure. and here's this ferengi woman, fighting for acceptance and change in her own way. yeah. fine.

unfortunately i think the episode undercut its own message a little in two ways: firstly, by having kira and dax getting groped nonstop without kira getting to break any fingers. like, non-ferengi women won't and shouldn't tolerate that, but for some reason in this episode they do...? i was especially steamed on kira's behalf; at least dax didn't seem to care as much. like, shouldn't the point be that that behavior is UNacceptable, instead of "oh it's not so bad once you get to know them"? and secondly, i think the impact pel made on odo was a little understated. the only real hint we got at him seeing a new way of things vs just him trying to protect himself was him offering pel the money to start a new life with, for free. you could tell because of his acting chocies there was a lot happening under the surface - like, he's always trying to get his own ass out of the fire, but he seemed protective of PEL rather than his own interests in several scenes there, particularly ditching his bar - but we didn't get to see most of the stuff that could ACTUALLY have been interesting bc we were too busy watching the nagus feel people up and eat bugs ha ha quirky fun! now THERE'S a guy that belongs on tng! extremely unendearing. you can win me over to um. some characters. but not this guy.

i was VERY surprised they let quark and pel kiss when quark was under the impression pel was a dude. not only was it a really funny "i thought i was GAY ping" moment, it also feels weirdly...progressive...? for 1993. along with dax assuming pel's in love with quark while ALSO still assuming pel is a guy. even though they kind of ruined it later

actually, the more i think about it the more pel reads as a trans man. is it right to categorize someone as trans when really they're just trying to get out of horrifically oppressive gender roles? maybe not, but the way quark managed to be super homophobic and misogynistic to pel at the same time ("you didn't kiss me" ok self-gaslighting king) feels so much like transphobia, and the way quark utterly rejected pel because of what she (he?) IS even despite the bond and chemistry they'd formed, AND dax, also trans, seemed to clock pel pretty quickly as being Some Kind Of Queer Like Me...i am Seeing

like, pel is all, hey we can run away together! fuck gender roles, who cares if i wear clothes! and quark is straight up like I Would Care. his internalized Whatever is keeping him from being happy with someone he clicked with, whether that's for a single night or an entire lifetime. there WAS a queer theme here. it was almost more about being queer than it was about sexism, except it wasn't actually about either of those because they fumbled the landing a little bit plus i feel like some censorship was probably happening and so the whole thing wound up being muddy. i did like quark's lisa simpson stare at the end though. girl, mood

TONIGHT: tng's "attached" and ds9's "necessary evil" I KNOW IT'S AN ODO EPISODE i'm very excited

#personal #star trek blogging #tng lb #ds9 lb #3.05 the bonding:wesley crusher::7.07 dark page:lwaxana troi iykyk

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gg-carboxylase · 10 months

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I had to watch the OS2xATOTSxBB at work and I can't let my feelings out.

Like.

"We finally have a thousand stars, now."

P'Aof gave us things we didn't know we wanted and things we needed.

EarthMix gave us an amazing kiss (finally, it's been a thousand years...) and we got a kiss thru crying. We got dual crying. We got an extremely tasteful ring that didn't look like it belonged to a femme.

Now I'll be honest here — I still wish we would have gotten more JimWen, but this is still very yes. I'm not mad at the crossover. P'Aof has proven once again he can do more than just high school.

I hope we get another EarthMix drama like Moonlight Chicken. Earth and Mix have come so far from where they were when ATOTS started.

I have so many more feelings but I can't get them out. Just. Unscripted crying, of course it happened. The issue is such a hot button.

Gay marriage not being legal with P'Aof being very out and with his partner long term. Earth and Mix having queer friends I'm sure [looks at camera].

Who wouldn't cry? I just... [watery eyes]

#earth pirapat #mix sahaphap #phupatian #our skyy x bad buddy x atots #atots #a tale of thousand stars #a tale of 1000 stars #our skyy 2 #our skyy x atots #EarthMix #Trying not to squish these two into a real life relationship is real hard

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scr-ppup · 3 months

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@ Scr-ppup — ⚰️🍖 ;

„Perkeleen Hävytön Rakki”

- Neogenders, NPTs & alterhuman terms.

- liomogai blog.

- please check BYF before following ♥(heart symbol)

Request status; open for everything (req count; 12 | inbox; 9)

- My terms have no DNI and thus are free for everyone to use. However check my BYF before following, I'm good with the block button. <3 (heart emoticon)

- Credits! Muttgender pfp border by @/speaksleazy(link), moon & star divider by @/cafekitsune(link)

- PFP & above "<- is an idiot" banner's art by yours truly lol!

- Primuscapere -> Scr-ppup

- request / to-do list link. Whitelist & blacklist listed at the end of this post with requesting :3

— Most likely to be blocked.

- LGBTQ+ exclus (includes label lumping. Aros to acespec, bi-spec .. etc), anti-alterhumans/otherkin/nonhumans.

- racists, white extremists, pro-cop/alm, anti-blm, anti-land back.

- Pro-(wrongfully used)transids/transx, radqueers, xeno.satanists. Anti-para, anti-recovery, neu/complex/pro-contact harmful & non-consensual para.

- Ableistic folk; general ableism, *any* kind of disorder demonization(not limited to just PDs), "narc abuse" and such believers and enforcers, any kind of disability glorification & romantication (specifically from non-disabled folks).

- discourse and/or cringe blogs.

- Pro-thinspo, pro-ed blogs of any kind no matter if positive or not. + nudity, nsfw & kink blogs and out right gore blogs. (**Own comfort**)

— BYF.

- I don't participate in syscourse or shipcourse.

- I'm punk & have socialistic beliefs but I'm not that political.

- I belong into quite a few blankqueer/-punk stances in some way, but please note that not one of these will override my personal stances & opinions; reclaimed feralqueer, hallowpunk, redemptionqueer, darlingqueer, yandequeer, rabiespride, eepyqueer, para-health, Beastpunk & freakqueer.

- I'm currently a minor still, well technically at least as a 06s pup. White, Finnish, & a singlet. (May use we/our pronouns from time to time. Or 2nd prns; mie/miun (me/my/mine))

- I'm multigender thus I use mspec mono & good faith labels(gaybian/gaygirl/lesboy, mspec & straight lesbian + gay, mspec straight, mspec mspec labels and such).

- I'm pro-para, anti-contact, pro-recovery, and I'm anti-harassment. I have no personal opinion on kink.

- I'm fine being tagged into posts! Promos, general tags, etc. Also please, tag me into flags done for my flagless terms! I'd love to see and share them. :3 also don't hesitate to tag me into alt flags as well if you make them for my terms that you don't personally like the flags of! <- still would absolutely love to see them, but also bc then I'm aware there are other flags to my terms. Okay? Good. Pus pus (translation: kiss kiss) /genuine/lighthearted

— about Hurtta . ★ (star symbol)

Names; Koiri, Hurtta, Ash(lin) Kalma, Kalmikko, Scrap, Peni, hound, Hunde/I, & Rakki.

Gender; multigender, genderqueer, boygirl, tnmboy, GNC tomboy & janegirl + hoard.

Pronouns; she/hir, he/hir, Hurtta/hurtan, he/it/scrap/pup/maw/she/gorehound, sie/sien, + more (pronounfluid & flux, sometimes name only & no pronouns at all.)

Additional; alterhuman & transspecies, neurodivergent + disabled, chronosian. (I'm not that social, borderlining asociality due to continuous experiences with social anhedonia, both irl & media.)

Interests; medical horror, medicine & medical stuff in general, taxidermy, canines, Ninjago, whump & horror genre (specifically splatterpunk horror), art + writing, ferality-themes

About requesting

When it comes to being in the liomogai community, I try to keep up with terms and what has been coined and such. But sometimes I slip and I do a recoin, please let me know of it so I can add the og coining link to the post! (Please don't just inform me and then disappear if I've recoined your term. Makes me anxious bc i can't find you anymore so I can't correct the post & credit you.)

I coin a variety of things! also I try to keep up with IDs and PTs.

Whitelist does not mean I'm solely doing only those things for coins, but these themes do get priority for me.

General whitelist

Lurkerian, Medical/medicinal, canines, (fictional)gore/horror/whump themes, taxidermy-related, vulture culture, apocalypses (zombie, monster, nuclear etc!), Cartoons

Fandom whitelist

Ninjago, Transformers (prime), school bus graveyard, blue eye samurai, troll hunters franchise, lost in space, stranger things, HTTYD franchise (RTTE specific), DC's Legends of tomorrow,

General blacklist

Real people, sexual/nsfw sources, dark content sources (excluding whump media and still selective when it comes to fandom and such), heavy political relation

Fandom blacklist

Non currently!

Request status; open for everything

Other -> tagging system(link)

#pinned #: köytetty rakki #(<-txt posts)#: löydetyt luut #(<-promos)#: kaatiksen löydöt #(<-other rbs)#: koiran nappulat #(<- coins/npts etc)#: räksyttävän rakin huomio #(<- inbox; anon/asks/other)#: lempiset luut #(<- part of hoard)

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thesteddielibrarian · 5 months

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Steddie Fanfic Staples

Just getting started reading Steddie fanfics? These are must reads! Nearly everyone in the community has read them and love them and I'm pretty sure you will too! Looking for Steddie fics with specific tropes/AU's/plots? Send me an ask! Have a rec? Send it in and I might review it! You're Divine by Oonionchiver

‘Blood?’ Eddie says again.

Eyes black but for the slice of iridescent white in the centre. His teeth are sharp, his hands are weapons and Steve thinks maybe he’s made a mistake doing this without telling Eddie first. Eddie’s focus lowers, it moves to his left hand which is…

Oh fuck.

It’s dripping blood onto the floor.

‘Shit,’ Steve says, takes a single step back, swallows. ‘Eddie, I’m so sorry, fuck.’

Eddie can’t seem to look away, can’t bring his ethereal gaze back up where it belongs. Steve thinks he should run, he should flee. A tiny part of him knows Eddie will chase him. Eddie will catch him, outrun him easily.

It's more than a little fucked up how that thrills him.

A Sign of The Morning by ToEdenandBackAgain

Vecna is dead. The Upside Down is cut off from Hawkins yet again. Steve is trying to go back to normal, whatever that is. He's also trying to figure out exactly how Eddie Munson has managed to fit so easily into his life.

Keep It Steady, Eddie by outofmygourd

Eddie Munson doesn't mind working at the Family Video Store. It's a nice sense of normalcy (not to mention money) and he gets to see Robin more because of it. However, between working together and sharing the same best friend, he's also been seeing a lot more of Steve Harrington.

He wants nothing more than to enjoy mindless fun with his friends now that everything with Vecna is over, but Eddie's finding it hard to move on from what happened. Even if the strangest thing in his life right now was simply the fact he and Steve Harrington might actually be friends.

The One in Which a Time Loop is Fucking Exhausting by badpancake

It’s the first time in a while that he doesn’t know what comes next. He’s dove into the water hundreds of times. Screamed as his flesh was torn apart, heard Master of Puppets in the distance and held back tears. Felt Max’s cold, small hand in his as she laid in the hospital bed. There are things that always happen, no matter how hard he tries: El doesn’t arrive in time. Eddie dies. Max is put in a coma.

Steve fails. They lose.

“Steve, how many loops have you been through?”

His head is nodding, and his eyes are watery, and Eddie has approached him like a spooked animal.

“I lost count.”

AKA: The one where Steve Harrington is stuck in a time loop, and Eddie Munson is really fucking hard to save, or: fuck Volume 2, these bitches are in love.

Flight Risk by Ayes and itskleo

Eddie Munson is famous for giving his bodyguards the slip. Enter Steve Harrington. Has this bratty rock star finally met a babysitter that can keep up with him? too good to be true by Ayes (again, what a legend)

When Eddie sees Steve in a gay bar, he decides to seduce him and break his heart as revenge for what an asshole Steve was in high school. Steve, who was only at the bar to support Robin, is taken aback by the attention but finds himself under Eddie’s spell. And Eddie, to his growing unease, discovers that Steve Harrington is actually everything he’s ever wanted.

#steddie #steddie fanfic #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve and eddie #steve harrington and eddie munson #stranger things fanfiction #fanfiction

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dreaming-of-the-end · 1 year

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echoes, saltwater, lemon juice (or: a lesson in pressing bitterness into wounds): Kam

A/N: In which i give them the unhealthy relationship they deserve <3 Love these babies. Hi @pissy-victorian-vampire, I’m your secret santa! you said angst of any sort soooo...

Summary:

Keefe leans forward, places his hands on either side of Tam's legs and presses their lips together, quick, warm. "I'm sorry about that." He's not.

"You're not," Tam says.

TW: kissing? there’s a brief mention of physical violence. also, death mention. and mental illness.

Taglist: @steppingonshatteredglass @real-smooth @sunset-telepath @melanie-schmelanie @stardustanddaffodils @jaxtheoraliestanner @song-tam @turquoise-skyyyy @completekeefitztrash @wu-marcy @saintashes @rune-and-rising @lavender-and-rainy-days @chasteliac @confusedamphibian @hellomyfriends @cadence-talle @kai-i-guess @callas-starkflower-stew @a-harmless-poison @professionalwhalewatcher @theogony @gay-otlc @confuzzled-fox @almostfullnerd @athenswrites @synonymroll648 @squishmallow36 @xanadaus

"It burns you sometimes, doesn't it?" Keefe twists his paper napkin so tightly it rips, shreds of the stained white scattering over his black pants. "The memory, I mean."

He doesn't have to ask what he means. "Like lemon juice. Like saltwater."

Keefe's fingers trace the grainy wood of the restaurant table with difficulty, the surface probably still sticky from the syrup-soaked pancakes he'd finished less than five minutes previously. "Like echoes?"

Tam stays silent. His hands are at his sides: he's never liked the cheap fast food places, preferring the clean-cut elegance of his own kitchen over screaming children and food he can't trust. More than that, it's the effect of it all: the bright lights in his eyes, the under-flavored over-sugared food, the lack of privacy, the smack of chewing gum coupled with the constant thrumming of the kitchen fridge, the tacky orange booth seats that stick to his skin.

And this conversation is too rich for the mediocrity of his surroundings. There's must still be something to be said about nights under the stars in a clearing in the woods, or perhaps a dock in the middle of the ocean, or floating in space, filled with the possibility of nothing and everything all at once. These words don't belong here. But Keefe does—not in a way to call him cheap or tacky, but in a bright, everything-everywhere-all-at-once kind of way. He's everything loud, everything bright, everything overwhelming.

"You need the reminder," Keefe says, resolute, as stuck in his self-righteousness as Tam's fork is to the syrupy table. "It's not over, Tam."

"Can't it be done? Can't it have died with her?" Tam feels the warm scent of unwashed bodies brush his skin. He wasn't made for this.

"You know that you did this to yourself."

And he hates Keefe for saying it. He hates him more than anyone, with an overwhelming catastrophic desperation that makes the entire world fade away, because it's always been that way with him. Keefe is simple and complicated in a terrifying, tell-me-who-i-am-and-i-won't-like-the-answer kind of way.

You know you did this to yourself.

Add that to his list of mistakes. Along with falling in love.

...

Tam might have physical echoes, but Keefe's are just as tangible.

The thing is, it's impossible to measure who has it worse (not that it stops him) when Tam's power is the thing attacking him night after night, while Keefe's mind is the only thing holding him hostage.

He's been there during attacks, of course. The times Tam loses himself in nightmares and his shadows come to life on the walls, shadowflux taking physical form to rake scratches into the mellow blue wallpaper Keefe handpicked for their bedroom, foggy condensation dripping from the ceiling onto the sunny yellow sheets of their bed. Their room is falling apart around them, and Keefe can't lie. He doesn't lie anymore.

It's his fault. Tam's.

His fault for choosing to learn shadowflux at all. Umber's journals taught him to weave shadow arrows and knives, rend apart concrete as if it's paper, bring objects crashing down when they're trying to sleep.

It's his fault. But he knows the way it burns. Lemon juice, saltwater, the sting of a frown and the twinge of hate. He knows burning like his own name.

So he knows regret. It calms him somewhat, to know that it was his own fault that he has these nightmares. At least he doesn't have to deal with blaming Tam.

Every day, he sees her: light auburn hair pulled into a bun tight enough to stretch the scars on her face that he'd given her. Right before he ended that light in her cold eyes, the ones that live on in his own face.

Gisela is trapped in his mirror. He has to live with the knowledge that every day, she might escape.

Every time he stares into it, meets his own eyes (her eyes) he feels her a little more. The burning of hate, of the fight with Dimitar and the salt of the ring in his wound. Sophie's desperate eyes, tear filled with prepared grief, because she knew then who he is now, and it destroyed both of them. And so he lost her.

Keefe plays that moment in his mind over and over, but he can’t come up with a version where she doesn’t learn who he is, what he is. He can’t come up with a version where she doesn’t leave him.

Sophie was right to mourn him then. Didn't that make it better when he died? When his mother killed him every way but physically?

...

Tam does not know who they want him to be.

It's a game of fear and choices, both of which he has learned from a schoolbook, studying the art of it.

This is fear: when your nightmares come to life, when your partner clutches at your arm because his mother formed from shadows made real, when the ghosts take physical form and you are powerless to stop them because you learned too well how to make them and not enough of how to send them away.

This is choice: to leave or to stay, to live or to die, how to run and how to love, how to unpack his clothes into drawers or how to make promises and keep them, how to leave one for another, to trust in his safety and let those he loves leave his sight to go with another.

And it's an art, along the lines of painting or singing or the poems he scribbles in his private journal. A love letter to terror, asking it to please stop calling because I'm happy now, I promise I'm happy, I don't need you anymore. All these lies.

He knows lying better than fear. Better than choices.

Tam knows lies, like the ones he tells himself. Like it was my fault (trying to convince himself) when it's not. It wasn't.

It was his fault. Keefe's.

Because he picked up Umber's journals for him, memorized every word to make the shadows leak into Keefe's head correctly, twisted his own insides around to keep him safe.

He would do it all again, of course. Every time, he's the one to lose himself in the glory of being a shield: Linh's protection, Sophie's rock, Keefe's last shred of common sense. It's him who makes the sacrifice, him who chooses to be exiled, to join the Neverseen, to give bits and pieces of himself away in a bargain that cancels out the danger instead of fixing it. He’s a bandaid on a gaping wound.

So perhaps this is fear: when you've given enough of yourself away to not recognize your shadowed eyes when you see them in the mirror.

Perhaps this is choice: whether to go on as half a person, or steal yourself back and take some of them with you.

...

"It drowns you sometimes, doesn't it?" Keefe watches Tam's legs swing back and forth on the countertop, and presses his hands against the cool marble. The chill is a tether and a knife cutting him free from his body. "The anger, I mean."

Tam considers this. Or, he puts on his Thinking Face, the one where his head tilts to the side and his eyes get all wide and his mouth comes open just a little bit, waiting for the spark to come through the space and light an idea in his head. It takes him a little while to form an answer, and when it does, it comes slow, tight with guilt. "Of course."

Keefe leans forward, places his hands on the counter on either side of Tam's legs and presses their lips together, quick, warm. "I'm sorry about that." He's not.

"You're not," Tam says.

He likes the anger, and Tam knows it. The day the two of them stop being angry about what happened to them is the day they turn into their parents and start being angry about what other people are doing and thinking and saying. It has to go somewhere. They have to go somewhere.

Keefe shrugs. He's less furious and more simmering these days. He paints it, his anger, the coolness of ice and piercing eyes. They stare at him always, worse at night, worse with Tam's shades bringing his mother back to life like she hasn't been dead for nearly three years. "You're not, either."

"No," Tam agrees, and this time it's him who moves forward to kiss him. His breath is warm against Keefe's cheeks, and he uses that warmth to center himself. Cold at his palms, heat on his lips.

See, he wishes he can tell his mother, I can still feel. Killing you didn't break me.

Tam did, though. Broke him apart and remolded him. For the better, maybe, or for the worse, probably. With a fire in the pit of his stomach like the throwing star he'd landed in hers. He hates him a little for that: for making him a new version of himself that he doesn't entirely like.

It's an attack, Tam's hands on his cheeks, caressing his cheekbone with his thumb, pulling him closer, threading through the tangles of his hair like he's not a boy made of lemon juice, of saltwater, of echoes. An attack because of how much it hurts, in his lungs and blood and bones, as Tam's palms warm his icy skin and Tam's lips part his own and Tam's eyelashes brush against his cheek with their closeness.

Keefe writes his own name in the fog in the mirror after he showers so he doesn't forget it.

He lets himself forget it now.

#summer's writing #keefe sencen #tam song #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kam #shadowheart #songcen #songsen #angst #angst without a happy ending #<- i suppose #if i were made to write healthy relationships i wouldn't ship kam. sorry guys.#if i were made to write healthy relationships i would ship keefitz. actually. LMAO #anyways enjoy!#kotlc 2022 secret santa

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