#these bitches are in a date | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gayvampyr · 2 years

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shoutout to boring queer people who don’t do shit. just go to work or school and then come home to watch shows. while gay

#i don’t even date #im a boring gay bitch #text post #top posts #10k #50k #60k #lgbt #lgbtq #queer #70k #80k #90k #100k

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catmadeofsalad · 23 days

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Asmodeus: *playing with MC'S hair*

Beelzebub: *holding MC*

Belphie: *sleeping on top of MC's legs*

Mammon: *buying MC more blankets for their pile*

Leviathan: *putting in a funny movie for MC*

Lucifer: Why are you crowding MC so much?

Asmodeus: Their toxic ex tried to manipulate them into getting back together, and our dear human started to panic so we deemed this a necessary solution.

Lucifer: Then where is Satan?

Mammon: *grins* Hunting

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lotus-pear · 6 months

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teen skk being a menace to society (and each other) is my fav flavor of them

#i think everyone forgets that these bitches were literal teenagers no they wouldn't be fucking each other dirty every night #they'd be stealing gum and cigarettes from the drug store and watching low budget horror films together w burnt popcorn #bc dazai left the microwave on too long #that's their idea of a date #anyway im sick in the head thanks to them. sigh. gay ppl #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #soukoku #skk #lotus draws

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temeyes · 8 months

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Slip-Up

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clar-a-m · 5 months

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we'll see them again this week <3

#critical role #critical role c3 #laudna cr #imogen temult #fearne calloway #ashton greymoore #chetney pock o'pea #fcg critical role #orym of the air ashari #bells hells #originally i made this with just delilah #but the people at the imogen temult fanclub discord reminded me that these bitches can summon a whole lot of nightmares #anyway i love all of them #can't wait to see the witches date night at whitestone

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steddiealltheway · 1 month

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Something that is canon in my mind that I forget to tell people:

The reason why Steve can’t get bitches in his Scoops Ahoy era is because there’s a rumor going around that he’s gay (probably because someone caught him hooking up with Eddie)

#how else can you explain it???#he is so so babygirl #all the girls would be literally at his feet begging for this man to date them #unless… they think he’s trying to make them his beard #also with the lipgloss and mascara…#it just adds fuel to the fire #and think. if Steve and Eddie were hooking up before scoops in a fwb gone wrong or secret relationship gone wrong type of situation…#aka Steve catches feelings and runs because of internalized homophobia and a fear of getting caught #there could be a season three rewrite of Steve catching feelings for Robin because she reminds him of Eddie #and after Robin comes out to him #Steve’s like “oh. maybe there are more people like me in Hawkins than I imagined. if she deserves a happy ending with a girl #why can’t I get a happy ending with a guy?#and steve slowly is able to come to terms with his sexuality #meanwhile eddie seeks out Dustin and the kids who steve has ranted and raved about #but he plays it off as him happening to find lost sheep #lots of thoughts… lots of thoughts…#all thoughts to explain why Steve isn’t able to get bitches #steve harrington #steddie #stranger things #scoops ahoy steve #stranger things headcanons

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rebelsafoot · 2 months

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what spending a weekend in the woods does to a mf

#until dawn #until dawn fanart #emily davis #until dawn emily #sam giddings #until dawn sam #jess riley #until dawn jess #ashley brown #until dawn ashley #supermassive games #btw sam and emily are dating #they are REAL and IN LOVE #also i am the number one emily defender so sorry if u hate her but u need to leave #shes done a lot wrong and i hope she continues to be a bitch <3

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onyourowndaisymae · 8 months

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when mammon falls in love

content + warnings: mammon x gn!reader, fluffy, just mammon getting rescued from hanging in the stairwell and realizing he's smitten // [masterlist]

word count: ~1.5k

mammon really fucked up this time. most times, he fucks up pretty bad. his greedy fingers snatch and take without discretion and his brain allows it, entranced by the allure of his favorite reward: grimm. he should know better by now than to let his greed get the best of him within the demon lord's castle, but it's just so tempting--

he tried to wander off with priceless treasure. barbatos caught him. lucifer was punishing him. tale as old as time.

hours had passed. his body hung from the ceiling of the stairwell, each miniscule movement making him sway slightly in the air. all the blood had long since gathered in his head, making his brain soggy and useless. his thoughts blurred together into a pile of mush. he wasn't having fun. his head hurt. his arms were tired. lucifer is a bastard. he misses you. if he could muster up the brainpower to count, he'd start counting the stairs on each flight to cure the boredom that came with hours of hanging still. he'd given up on calling for help long ago-- that only seemed to piss lucifer off more, and sometimes encouraged a brother or two that was really fed up with his antics to come spin him and laugh.

the house of lamentation grew bitingly cold at night. his jacket kept him warm enough, but the way his shirt rode up left him shivering in the overwhelming darkness. he could hear the drip of the kitchen's leaky faucet, and... what was that?

shuffling. slow and quiet, like someone who didn't want to be seen. the faintest of lights reached his eyes, like something was around the corner.

"mammon?"

his world is engulfed in a bright light, and mammon flinches away from it. you curse, and that's when he realizes you just shined a flashlight through the darkness and accidentally blinded him. he hears hissed apologies and shuffling as he blinks rapidly, trying to regain his bearings.

"what are ya doin' here?"

"i couldn't sleep thinking about you hanging out here all night," you explain, carefully leaning over the railing to reach for him. he gladly takes your hand and lets you lead his to a solid edge. he grasps at it tightly and tries to restart his body after hours of swinging dormant and bloodless. "so i came to get you. you can sleep in my room for the night."

once he's got a secure hold on the ledge, you begin to tug and pull at the ropes binding him. they're tight, but you persist. when he's finally free enough to save himself, he hears your footsteps scurry up to the next flight and mess with the rope up there.

riiiip!

the rope collapses with a loud groan, and suddenly the pressure on mammon's body loosens. he yanks his body towards the ledge, quickly, before gravity makes him splatter at the bottom of the stairwell. his body flings limply over the railing and he collapses on the smooth floor in a heap. your footsteps, muffled by your socks yet still urgent-- not that mammon would ever admit to memorizing the sound of your footsteps-- get closer and closer until you're by his side. your voice is a gentle coo as you help untangle him from the slack ropes clinging to his torso.

"lucifer told me not to come get you but... you always look so miserable up there."

he slurrs out something akin to a thank you, but you don't let him speak much. his chest is warm as he fumbles to stand. you're an angel. his beautiful, loving savior. his heart thumps in his chest, in part to get his blood flowing again but definitely also because your arms are now wrapped around him, gentle and steady as you help him to his feet.

"shhh, it's okay. c'mon, don't push yourself too hard. you look like shit."

you assist him to your room. he feels like an idiot stumbling down the steps and across the house, but with you he doesn't mind as much. his brain slowly returns to him as his body gets moving. you're in a big sweatshirt and comfy sleep shorts-- fuck, you look pretty cute like that. he can't seem to keep his eyes to himself as you walk him across the house, but you're too concerned with making sure you both get to your room unnoticed to care.

you nudge the door closed with your heel and coax him up onto your bed. even though he can stand just fine now, you don't seem to trust him to remain upright all by himself. when he spreads out on the bed, you begin lecturing him-- firmly, so he knows you're disappointed, but your heart's not behind it. your eyes are soft and forgiving as you look at him.

"-- just," his thoughts finally clear, and he tunes back in to the lecture, "stop... doing stupid shit, okay? i hate seeing you get in trouble like that."

he nods dumbly, but you don't seem convinced.

"i mean it. watching you hang there makes me anxious-- i know you're not gonna fall or anything but i still can't help but worry about you. it makes me sick, mammon. just... come to me before doing something stupid, okay? and i'll talk you out of it."

"okay." his mouth feels like cotton as it forms around the word. he'd agree to whatever you said as long as you keep looking at him like that. this kindness is not out of character for you, but it makes him hot and bothered under the collar.

how long have these feelings been festering inside of him?

before he can even process what you're doing, you pull him into a tight hug. your body is warm against his, situated nicely between his legs as he sits on the edge of your bed. he wraps his arms around you on instinct. he nuzzles his neck into your shoulder and breathes your scent in. you're so you. so unapologetically human, so flawed, yet so wonderful all the same. his arms tighten around you.

he's never had as much fun as he's had when you're in the devildom. whether it be at home in his room or lost in the lights of poker tables and slot machines, as long as you're there, he's feeling unstoppable. he likes passing you notes at RAD and watching your lips curl into that sneaky smile. he hates sharing you with his brothers-- they don't understand you like he does. you have an unshakeable bond, formed by that first pact inked in your skin. you're his human, his best friend, his-

that's the moment that it hits him.

mammon is completely, utterly in love with you.

his face burns at the realization, and he nearly pushes you away when he straightens up suddenly. you blink up at his hurried movement, startled, and ask him what's wrong.

what's wrong? what's wrong? dammit, he's in love with you! his hands tremble as he nervously pulls at his jacket. he hears himself mutter some lame excuse about being tired and shaky after a long night of hanging upside down.

you climb onto your bed and coax him to lay next to you with a soft smile. his limbs feel heavy but his head is swimming through cotton. love. love. he loves you. he loves you when you curl up under the covers and when you lift them up to invite him to join. he loves you when you nuzzle into the sheets and when you lay your head down and when you scooch a little closer so he can feel your heat and--

relax. breathe. mammon's thoughts are racing as fast as his heart and he needs to take a moment before his head explodes all over your bed.

you cuddle closer and he takes a moment to wrap his arms around you. there's a content sigh that leaves your lips. he's smitten.

you, who he babysat in your early days at RAD. you, who tricked him into a pact. you, who defends him from his brothers even when he's wrong, clearly wrong. you, who came to rescue him even though you know it'll probably put you on the receiving end of a lecture.

your breathing steadies out and he can tell you're on your way to sleep. just like that, huh? mammon is having one of the biggest realizations of his life, and there you are, falling asleep. you must feel really safe in his arms to do something like that. his lips find the top of your head and he presses a soft kiss against your hair.

morning will come in a few hours. soon lucifer will notice that mammon's spot is empty, and he'll come searching for him to instill a new punishment. soon the day will begin again and he'll have to give you up, let you out of his arms where the devildom is harsh and unforgiving.

but tonight, you're both here. still, quiet, drifting into unconsciousness while intertwined. tonight, mammon is all alone with the human he's fallen completely, desperately, unequivocally in love with.

taglist for this series: empty

#i like starting w mammon bc you bitches go crazy over him #(said with so much affection)#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mammon #obey me x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me fluff #otome

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jjkyaoi · 2 months

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how different the atla main group and the lok main group are is Still the funniest thing in the world to me. like, the gaang are real sweet best friends, would die for each other and kill for each other, probably, a sprinkle of found family, friendships CAN last more than one lifetime, etc. and then korra has dated literally all of her three best friends. everyone in that group wanted a piece of the avatar’s ass

#im not saying that korra and her friends didn’t have that kind of bond #they DEFINITELY did considering the amount of times they js went to bat for each other #but like. she was romantically entangled w all three of them. she didn’t ever date bolin properly but ykwim #u can say whatever you want about lok as a show but never doubt that korra gets BITCHES #avatar the last airbender #atla #legend of korra #avatar korra #korra #korrasami #the gaang #the history continues of the avatar’s bagging pretty women #the difference in this cld be easily explained by how aang was 12 yrs old for most of the show and when lok started korra was already a #teenager but shut up and let me be funny.

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dawnbreakersgaze · 2 months

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The fact that Dr Zayne is saving people who want to live

And Dawnbreaker Zayne is mercy killing people who want to die

And both are obsessed/disturbed with each other across space and time

Really has me fucked up in a lot of ways and I'm not okay about any of this

#play love and deepspace they said itll be fun they said #love and deepspace #lads #l&ds #love & deepspace #zayne #zayne love and deepspace #li shen #its about dating cute 3d men and also some combat #BITCHES LIED #ITS ABOUT DEPRESSION #LOVE AND DEEP DEPRESSION IS THE NAME OF THE GAME #fuck..#😭😭😭😭😭#also imma need yall to quit calling poor dawnbreaker a serial killer that poor man is just trying to help people the only way he can #which is more than their gov or whatever is doing #.... double fuck i hate this god damned game 😭😭

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homuku · 10 months

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#picking up a call from ya side hoe on a date w your main bitch #art #homestuck #hom3stuck #aradia megido #sollux captor #eridan amplora #erisol #solradia #erisolradia #i guess #arasol

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super-marvel-dc · 3 months

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Bucky, holding a rock: Y/N just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock."

Thor: If you don't marry them, I will.

#bro y'all should give your significant other pebbles because male penguins give the female penguins pebbles to woo them #I'm gonna be a penguin #I wanna date someone and give them pebbles until they figure it out #like hello! i love you! take my fucking pebbles!#eat pebbles bitch!#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes #the winter soldier x reader #thor odison #thor #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel incorrect quotes #marvel

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meatcomptrr · 4 months

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how bout both :]]

i think i got a little bit carried away whoops

request art for @fir3lit3

other version under the cut

#streetcleaner #ultrakill streetcleaner #ultrakill mindflayer #mindflayer #ultrakill #ultrakill art #ultrakill fanart #oug #they are dating #to me #these bitches gay #and need a ship name #idc im gonna start calling it streetflayer #or mindcleaner #ough #both are good #mindcleaner #streetflayer #sucart

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raeofgayshine · 11 months

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Thinking again about the fact that when Eddie and Dustin finally convince Steve to play DnD with the party, all of them, but especially Eddie, quickly become exasperated with Steve who has extremely high charisma, and decides that he can fix almost any situation by flirting with whoever they were in conflict with. Especially the fucking monsters, this man is bound and determined to himself a monster boyfriend and until it happens, he will make every single person they come across fall in love with him. So naturally, this happens a lot:

Steve: I’m going to flirt with them

Eddie, exasperated: Steve, you can’t date this monster, he’s trying to kill you-

Steve: Hot.

Steve: I’ll flirt with them harder then

#ravenpuff rambles #steve harrington #eddie munson #hellfire club #stranger things #steddie #Steve is a monster fucker and this essay I will-#they actually get him interested in playing because they were showing him the different monsters and Steve kept going #‘Hot. Also Hot. Hooot. Can I date this one? Oh HOT.’#the monsters really did it for him. (and like also it made Dustin excited and you know he loves that kid)#Eddie: I should have known inviting you to sessions would go like this but for some reason I had hope you would behave #Steve: I am behaving. I’m using my highest stat determined by Dustin and Will to my advantage.#(Also I think Dustin and Will helped Steve build his character. Eddie wanted to do it but Steve insisted it should be a surprise)#(I don’t know much about dnd so I can’t go any further but I know this bitch would want high charisma (for good reason!))#Robin loves to sit by and watch the sessions play out and she is always encouraging Steve to flirt more #there’s a new You Rule You Suck board #this one has a lot more you rule because it turns out Steve is amazing at getting high rolls

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cashmoneyyysstuff · 5 months

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katsuki bakugou hates a lot of things

he hates people who walk slow, he hates people who chew loudly or people who talk loud in places they know damn well they shouldn’t.

he hates when people walk on the back of his shoe and he hates idiots like kaminari who talk during movies.

but most of all, katsuki bakugou hates seeing you cry.

it sparks something in him, something red, hot and so angry when he finds you in your dorm. tears running down your cheeks that show no sign of stopping. he hates it even more when you make eye contact and you curl into yourself even more from where you’re sitting on the floor.

katsuki immediately decides this is the thing he hates the most.

he’s on you in seconds, kneeling in front of you, searching around to get a peek of your face hidden in your knees. he places his hands on top of yours where they’re wrapped around your legs and his chest tightens when you flinch a little.

“ who was it ? who did this to you ?” he can’t recognize his own voice, his words come out so fast he barely registers what he’s saying.

you try to speak but nothing but more broken sobs and shaky breaths come out as you desperately try to catch your breath and katsuki realizes that you talking isn’t a priority right now.

his eyebrows are furrowed and he almost looks angry but he’s so, so worried. if anything, he’s angry at himself for being so helpless, for not being able to help you in a time where you clearly need it.

he grabs your shoulder softly and the weight his chest lightens slightly when you lean a little closer to him, before letting him pull you tightly into his arms

“breathe for me.” he utters softly, voice gruff and gravelly. he never actually talks this softly unless he’s around you, the difference is so stark it surprises him a little bit but he’s got more important things to think about. praise spills from him occasionally, muttering a “you got it. i got you” into your ear before pressing a kiss to your temple.

katsuki’s never really had to comfort anyone, he’s never felt the need to, but you’re not just anyone. your different, you’re his. his love his everything and he’ll be damned if he didn’t try his hardest for you.

you’ve calmed down a little bit, he noticed. you’re breathings calmed down a little and your sobs have been reduced to snivels. the tightness in his lungs is still there, but it’s less now.

“what’s goin’ on with you, hm ?” you’re grip tightens on his arm and you shove your head deeper into his chest. he moves his head away from your shoulder so he can place two small kisses on the top of your head

“talk to me, baby. needa know what’s up with you.” he pleads into the crown of your head. you sigh before speaking up.

“ i don’t know what’s up with me i just- it’s nothing bad i’m—” you’re desperately searching for the right words to use so what you’re about to say makes sense. “i just don’t—feel like myself today. i don’t know why, i just feel really bad today.” you let out a humorless chuckle and your voice dies out when you finish “m’sorry if i worried you” you sniffle.

he shushes you, his grip on you tightens when he hears you whimper “don’t..don’t fuckin’ apologize to me, got no reason to.” he spits. he sounds angry, and he is, why should you ever feel the need to apologize for feeling some type of way around him ?

“s’okay for you to feel that way..i do too, sometimes, you know ?” he knows you do. he knows you do because there are times where he comes to your room in tears, shaking and panicked. completely and utterly lost from the nightmares that had plagued him minutes before but knowing he had to come see you. you were there for him every time, gently soothing him and assuring him that he’d be okay. he owed it to you to do the same for you.

“s’okay to feel like shit sometimes, happens to the best of us.” he whispers “ but you can always come to me when you do, can deal with it together. an’ don’t go thinkin’ yer ‘bothering’ me either.” he says, parroting what you had just told him. “we’re together for a reason, dummy.” he’s soft spoken and his voice is so mellow despite his harsh little nickname for you, you could’ve missed it if he wasn’t sitting so close to you, it makes you a little dizzy and a little weaker in you’re already mushy knees.

he grabs your shoulders gently to get your eyes on him. they’re still a little glossy but they’re a little less dull when he looks at you “ we’re in this together, always have been, always will be, got it ? “ he asserts, waiting for your response. and then you smile at him, it’s faint but it’s there and katsuki feels like he can breathe again. he smiles back softly at you when you respond with a soft “okay.”

you suddenly grab onto him and pull him into you tightly, locking him in a tight embrace and squeezing like you’re pressing a lemon. it throws him off for a second before he’s squeezing you just as hard, pressing your body against his.

“thank you, katsuki. you’re the best” you hum. he presses a long lingering kiss to your temple as response, before squeezing around your waist “ course i am.” he gloats. the smirk on his lips grows when you snort in response “what’re you laughing about, hah? don’t think so? don’t think i’m the best ?” he jests, using this as an opportunity to tickle you mercilessly. you kick and squirm but it’s no use, katsuki doesn’t stop until you’re a heaving , giggling mess. tears in your eyes as you plead and beg for him to stop but he doesn’t let up even when you’re laying on the ground with him on top of you.

“ i ain’t hearing what i wanna hear, you know what i want from you, baby.” he chuckles at the way you desperately gasp for breath, choking on your own spit in the process.

“y-you’re the ! the best, ‘suki ! the b-bestest of the best !” you gasp out, pushing blindly at his face to get him away from you and he finally let’s you go. “felt nice enough to let you off with a warning, won’t end well for ya if you try me again.” is what he says, playfully warning you and waving his finger around in your face. you’re completely out of breath, there are tears in your eyes again but they’re happy tears this time and you still can’t stop smiling and giggling as you try to bite at his finger and katsuki is more than happy with this.

because katsuki’s favorite thing is your smile.

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veggieboxes · 2 years

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more age swap stuff where teru is comphet for Twenty Eight years and dimple is an ageless baby

#so often i think about pre mob meeting teru #?girl? ditching your dates to fight other men?#i have so many thoughts on teru and his relationship on adulthood but thats a tangent #gay bitch #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #teruki hanazawa #teru hanazawa #ekubo #shigeo kageyama #reigen arataka #age swap au #my art #implied f slur #? sure jic #teru rly just looks like normal teru bc he wears a suit anyways #i need to figure out actual designs for the adults...

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