#these days have been so busy ugh

[puppyeared]

if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified

#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing #i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though #at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself #as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed #escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date #although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL #ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting #workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety #i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back #AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO #im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts #i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem #in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material #and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school #maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess #only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard #hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms #i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work #not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall #anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh #yapping

[ermg33]

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE <3 To celebrate I quickly threw together a thing for The Lesbians Of All Time because no couple will ever be as beautiful as them <3

#I LOVE ALPHDYNE SO MUCH UGH #the first ship i ever drew fanart for actually #been working on these humanised designs for a while #uhhhh the second image is an experiment i did with gradient maps that i thought looked cool so yeah #Undertale #Deltarune #Toby fox #Lesbians #Alphys #Undyne #Alphyne #Alphdyne #alphys x undyne #happy valentine's day #Illustration #My art #very quickly thrown together because i was busy making chocolates #Will be posting more of these two with some further exploration of their human versions i made :D #IN CASE ANYONE ASKS alphys doesn't have her glasses on because the gal is about to head to bed and sleeping in glasses is a bad decision

[compacflt]

yesterday (06/12) was the anniversary of me watching top gun for the first time so here are some of my favorite personal reviews

i saw tg and tgm in june & didn’t think about tg for two months. i wrote the epilogue for wwgattai on august 10 and THEN rewatched it on the 11th & that’s when i knew there was enough potential to start writing wwgattai for real

a lot can change in a year. :)

#mostly: i went from rating tg 2.5 stars to 5 every time #very grateful to this mid-ass movie for giving me something to chew on for the last ten months #okay: sorry for the radio silence btw ive been saying ‘todays the day i post my one-shot’ for the last five days #TOMORROW!!! Im trying. #but i also have a fun wip wednesday so that might be wip Thursday. ugh idk. im so so busy 😵‍💫 #ive now seen top gun over 15 times OMG CRINGE #still only seen tgm 5 times and 4 were in theatres (regal unlimited. didn’t pay. that deal is basically legal piracy). #Not a huge tgm fan obviously which is why idrk those characters #it’s ices death scene. i literally cannot take it. i have to close my eyes every time. #tg (cringe mid movie) is somehow my 4th favorite movie on letterboxd #all my friends are in film & i show them my letterboxd and they’re like…what #love it so much. god i love this movie. #top gun

[inkykeiji]

♡ touya-nii vibes ♡

#look me in the EYE and tell me this isn’t exactly something he would do #ugh i love french film so much #anyway helloooooo! #i’ve been busy making christmas baskets all day!!! #boxes actually but u kno~ same thing #we did 75 so far!!!! #we have MANY more to go #i am sooooo so so sleepy #i hope everyone had a good tuesday!! <3 #clari chatters

[guinevereslancelot]

my supervisor felt the psychic vibes of me searching for other jobs on my lunch break so he pulled me aside for a meeting about how i'm not good enough at my job <3

#literally telling me im too slow when the only thing i like abt this job is setting my own pace lol #anyway chewing drywall im literally truly going to apply to be a dmv clerk i said that last night and this morning im serious #they tell me to spend less time inspecting the merchandise but if i dont inspect it then quality control tells me its not good #and makes me redo it?? #i know its faster and easier for them for me to not do that but it's faster and easier for me to do it so im gonna do it #anyway #killing myself killing myself killing myself #also its abt to be the busy season ughh #i was abt to apply for a seasonal job yesterday its not full time #feel lowkey bad bc i told these people i wanted to stay with the company and work up to management and stuff but ugh #even the management does manual labor all day no thanks #im supposed to do that at home too but i dont have the energy #anyway meeting wasn't all bad they indicated a possibility of moving me to something less manual labor intensive for some of the days #this has been a shitpost

[vinceaddams]

I sure do love to go to the thrift store and acquire things!! Today I got a broken (?) little wooden music box, a couple pieces of fabric (one dark pink cotton jacquard and one dark brown and gold sari silk) and also a plate with a picture of the Hartland covered bridge on it. That's the longest covered bridge in the world, and I've walked across it, and now I can eat sandwiches off it's monochromatic blue image.

#hi yeah yes i AM slightly tipsy at the moment sorry! #OH i also got 4 little packs of gold plated sewing needles!! and another plate that has Green Gables on it #but that;s in a different province from me so marginally less exciting even though I do love the 1980's anne of green gables series #just had another hecking busy week at work (because it is prom & wedding season and I am Suit Alterations Tailor #but now it is weekend and I have 2 days of no things #yay!! Maybe I will work a bit more on my shirt and some drawing! #I wish I had more space to put things. if I did I would go to the thrift store even more often and obtain even more delightful candlesticks #and also more silver plated goblets. I'd have a whole corridor of shelves with all my fancy little metal thrift store goblets #thrifting #hey did you nkow that all aclohol tastes bad and yucky and you can only hide it in lots of fruit juice and stuff??? #this is a fact I know but learn all over again every frew several months #blergh! #speking of which! fun fact: I am a balding old man of 27 and when I got to the beverage store with a hat I get asked for ID usually #but never when I have no hat! #today I had a leafkerchief on my head which I have been wearing a lot lately for balding head reasons and also cause #of those dang sebaceous cysts upion my scalp that are so lumpy and numerous (4) and unsighlty #unSIGHTLy I mean #UGH the surgery people said I'd hear back about an appointment in a month and it's been almost 3! I should phone them!! #It is unfair to have lumps almost as big as marbles just chilling there on a balding scalp!! #SPeaking of leafkerchiefs I Realy need to finish that damn sewing tutorial video! I filmed most of it last autumn! #and now it's late spring! #is there a limit to how many tags you can put on a post?? #ok well I hope these have ebeen entertaining to you I will go eat a food and maybe do soem sketching now goodnight

[tkbrokkoli]

how are my mutuals doing

#not fandom related #personal log stardate #i was busy the last few days writing a report for class. on friday i spent 9 hrs w writing 😬 im drained now from the past few days #exams start in 2 weeks so i basically have to spend all my free time studying starting from today ugh #ive been on T for a little over 2 weeks now haven't noticed any changes so far except maybe some ~sensations~ considering voice and #bottom growth. my throat has hurt a bit for a few days but i might also just have gotten a cold. i feel however like my voice is a little #deeper right after waking up and trying to speak deeper than my usual speaking voice has become a bit easier. i have to put effort into it #though. also bottom growth idk if the sensations are just a usual phase of sensations dowm there that i sometimes get anyway #or if it's actual bottom growth. i could be imagining the voice and bottom growth stuff. that's how tiny the changes in sensation are #still it makes me euphoric 😁 #i haven't talked to my family abt trans stuff again and there's a slight tension between us that im not sure what to do w #but im seeing my therapist this week to discuss all of this #i don't have any health updates bc i haven't seen that doctor again yet my next appointment is in april and since I didn't get a call from #them i suppose nothing is urgently bad so i hope it's all just fine but ill hear abt it in april

[emmaspolaroid]

what a long day

#through a series of events out of our control we had to change plans which meant i didn’t have the car today #and couldn’t take my nanny baby to story time at the bookstore i was like :(!!!!!! about it bc wtf! #I’ve been so busy that i had to dedicate every free moment today to finishing my book club book (which i did! right on time thank you) #also had to run to the grocery store .. I’m about to be behind on drawings if i don’t get at least one done by the weekend #agh and the house is a disaster we’ve both barely been home and have a Need to do our hobbies to feel sane so ugh #However i got caught up on loan payments this week and that’s important. I guess. so this must continue. #really i should give myself credit i nanny five days a week and am preparing for artist alley and also read an entire book today like Girl. #I’m kinda venting now lol but i don’t want to spread myself too thin and get sick and I’m trying to rest but I’m not very good at it #I do however want to be able to do everything i want forever and that kinda costs money

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#truly i have too modes. so fucking busy i cant breathe. cant think without a muddled lag. feeling motion sick as i walk #a path ive walked a thousand times over. or not busy enough. without thr pressure i revert to a liquid state and spill across the floor #i cant seem to do anything. at least when im busy i cant feel how miserable i am. at least for a little while bc i have to focus #idk how to find a balance. it always seems to be all or nothing. outside my control but directed by my control #ugh. after the month ive had the misery's caught up with me. also i havent been sleeping enough #i felt horrible all day in the lab ans i was like. i mean maybe its low bloodsugar? but then when i went home i felt 1000 times better #which is. ya kno understandable but not great #idk i can just feel the anger leaking out from under my skin. ive made the system unlivable. now im suffocating on the echo of pain #and i feel bad bc it must b all over my face. bitterness simmering in my words #i met with my boss today for a delayed meeting of a delayed meeting and showed her some preliminary data. she was excited and asked what i #felt abt it. and i dont feel anything abt it. nothing. i dont care i dont care i dont care i dont fucking care #set my datasheets on fire. burn them to ash. i wouldnt feel anything #and im sure some of that sentiment came thru bc she later texted me to reiterate how cool the data is bc no ones done a study this #extensive ans i dont kno how to reply bc again i dont care. theres no breathing enthusiasm back. that dim light has been extinguished. i #look forward to never having to think abt it again. #whatever the more pressing issue is that i cant get my brain to function enough to save me from the other problems i have boiling over #just me sabotaging potential future happiness from where i sit unhappily in the present #annoying. ugh i need to sleep. #unrelated

[maretriarch]

how i feel when i hit the government regulated bare minimum movement requirement to not be classified as a "slug woman"

#just kidding slug woman is eternal and ill be back to less than 2k steps a day in 3 days im sure. bedbound bitch #been getting better at hitting those 10k steps would be a lot better if i didnt have to fucking center my day around reaching it but also #ugh thats part of the appeal...it keeps me busy...and i feel sooo much better #and this is definitely me being completely delusional but also i think ive built some muscle back in mah legs so thats good

[br1ghtestlight]

and my grandpa had a stroke so that's not great either

#it's fine it was a small stroke but still. yeah #just not been a great day for me and im also feeling pretty sick (sore throat and headache. normal ass symptoms for me to have) #and now my grandparents are busy in the hospital so I'm all alone which is FINE but also. ugh #not feeling so great. would be nice to have someone to talk to or uhh just to be distracted #bobs burgers time? #txt

[thegreatbeyondmp3]

bro it sucks so much to have to go to work when you're sick

#i dont wanna go but literally if i miss another day they could fire me 😬 #i don't have covid at least according to the home tests but like. i still have a cold or something #and i can't call out because our time is so restricted #and its not even the worst attendance policy i know of but it still sucks to have to work around #esp coming from my last job where i could take off literally as much time as i needed to basically whenever i needed/wanted to #added on top of the fact that i just don't want to fuckin be there anyway #and that im scared im gonna pick up covid bc my immune system is currently weakened #ugh. i have to get through tomorrow and the next day #and then im off again #and then im on one more day before im back off again #so i will have a rest day again pretty soon at least #after being off the last three days #(the first was my legit day off but it was very busy and few days before that were the roughest of a tough couple of weeks - #the second i took off bc i had to babysit and. being completely honest. i watched all of fellow travelers thr night before. and esp after #how bad a time id been personally having lately. all the suffering and the loneliness and the romance just hit me so hard #tbh i just felt like i deserved a break and i could do some work at home to balance things out - #third day i woke up feeling sick and coughing pretty hard and just feeling generally miserable. which continued for most of the day. #but with less coughing until now bc im laying down) #i just wish i could take an extra day or two to actually kick this 😭 #sorry this is so long i can get locquacious when im tired

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

hands and knees begging myself to be responsible tonight bc i have so much to do but i can feel in my heart irresponsible brain is going to win and im gonna end up drawing and making myself more behind and stressed but like i spent 8 hours researching and writing art history texts at my internship do i fucking want to research for my history class tonight even tho i should so i can let the professor know if my topic is viable? no i want to draw. and like even research aside i need to do dishes and laundry and pack

#which frustratingly the relevant articles are from a journal our school doesn't subscribe to and like i could just ask her to change my topi #but like if i wait until after thanksgiving that is pushing it too close UGH #i hate school #i hate how busy i am right now ugh i was on the phone with my dad and he was like you sound really unhappy and i was like well thing is i #am and like i just have to slog through the rest of this semester but it is a hard slog #call my schedule oatmeal the way its fucking GRUELING #they werent lying that 25hrs a week internship but 1hr walking there and back 5 days a week (so 30 hours time) is a fucking LOT on top of #classes and teaching like im physically sore im tired and burnt out im behind on grading #i love the work im doing at the internship and i love teaching it is just challenging to balance both #and like i knew grad school would be hard and I knew this semester would be hard and i can get through it and i will get through it #i dont even like complaining about it bc like i signed up for this knowingly and i knew what i was committing to and the internship is so s #so helpful for me career wise and i really enjoy it and like my classes are also important career wise #im just constantly treading water but im drowning a little #every like mental health problem i have is being exacerbated #i feel like i have two parts of my brain like rational logical brain that knows what i need to do to get the tasks done and then wild #impulsive fun brain that just wants to goof off and that part of my brain has the steering wheel most of the time and i have to wrestle it #away to get work done anytime im not like in an office #which like yes that is a metaphorical way to describe executive dysfunction but i have not had time to try to get any diagnoses even tho #we've been suspicious for 6 years now

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

when you literally live in a world that wasnt made for you 😆🔫

#dont think im gonna get into grad school. dont know what the fuck else im going to do. #i dont want to fucking work i want to research. probably wouldnt even be able to find a job in my desired fields so what would i even be #fucking doing. and at that point how would i get there. bc i dont drive. and i dont want to fucking drive. i cant #it feels like im having a panic attack when i try. so gotta find a driving school. what if it doesnt work. what if it does. im driving to #work i dont wanna do. my friends are spread out and working and dont have any time to call. since i dont drive i dont get out of the house #except to grocery shop with my mom on weekends. i dont have anything productive to do but i cant even relax properly bc i feel like im in a #panopticon with my parents and i need to at least LOOK busy while i live in their house. so im just doing nothing all day but i want to #but i CANT!!!! and i cant even broach the subject of therapy or meds which i really think i need because like. my parents just dont fucking #believe in it or whatever. like ive really essentially told my dad i think i could be autistic and he hasnt been like oh should we find #help or anything hes just been like ok cool that surely has no repurcussions on your life #even as it was part of the fucking conversation why i dont want to drive #its just. its whatever. i feel so stuck but i dont want to move forward because moving forward just means going into a world where i have tl #work a job i probably hate and make hardly enough money to live in a shitty apartment because the economy and society are fucked #trying to experience the Wonders but i cant escape the Horrors. what the fuck ever ugh

[theyarebothgunshot]

.

#i need to vent for a sec and i think i am probably being silly but ugh #so. i made a new friend! recently #and we exhanced numbers #this person isnt from the netherlands and i think they dont usually use whatsapp but rather imessage or something like that idk #but anyways i dont have an iphone so we talk through whatsapp #and they have been messaging me pretty often to ask how i am doing etc #so today i texted them early in the morning but all day it's been radio silence #and i obviously do not know them well enough to know if that just means they are busy or if it is something else #and it is making me so anxious #why is making new friends as an adult so damn difficult #ok that is all lmao dont mind me this is my diary

[snowfea]

My anxiety is getting out of control and I can't stand it, the feeling of anxiousness that can arrive at any moment and cuts my appetite and makes me feel like I'm about to write an exam is, well frustrating.

#Belette's life #But I'm still taking my paroxétine #Still doing the breathing exercises #But god it's the end of the holidays and I'm going back to Paris and there are so many things to do that I don't know how to #Ugh #I was given generalized anxiety and chronic pain because otherwise I would have been too powerful #My sister still doesn't have an attributed high-school and that's my parents business but it stresses me out for her #I'm still not completely registered for my M2 because I'm missing a document but my teacher still hasn't replied #Which means I can't redo my Navigo pass #UGH #And to top it off this afternoon we take the train and I'm always anxious about missing the train #Anxiety levels through the roof these days #Shout-out to my retainer #The thing is holding on for dear life at this point #Managed to make whole new dents in it in only a month and a half #ANYWAY #Rant is over