#these eps are longer than i anticipated uh

[multifandomlover01]

Baby Fever

Spencer Reid x Female!Reader (use of the word girlfriend; AFAB is heavily implied bc I based it on myself, sorry)

Established Relationship

WC: 1k

Warnings: talks of pregnancy and child rearing and anxiety surrounding it (not explicit but there’s like one tiny suggestive comment) (pregnancy and parenthood is viewed as something both characters want so if you don’t believe that…just pretend or don’t read?) (also this discussion is happening between two people who are in a committed relationship but are not (as of yet) married but it is not explicitly stated that marriage will come before the children or that it will not)

Summary: Reader sees how Spencer is with Henry and realizes she really wants a kid with him

Key: Y/F/N = Your First Name

Eps: 4x6, 4x7

Spencer was looking back at JJ. She was pregnant and eagerly anticipating the birth of her child. Spencer realized that he had been in a relationship with his girlfriend longer than the father of the child (Will) had been in a relationship with JJ. He wondered about his future with me.

“You considering it?”

Emily’s voice snapped him back to reality and he turned to face her.

“Considering what?” He asked for clarification although he was already fairly certain he knew what she meant.

“Having baby geniuses one day….presumably with Y/F/N…”

Spencer was just briefly considering it just then, yes, but upon being asked about it point blank like that, his brain short circuited. Luckily he was saved from answering when the phone rang.

“Hello?” He asked and he knew that his nervousness could be heard in his voice.

You had stayed with Spencer in Las Vegas along with Rossi and Morgan and you’d all gotten back in time to see Henry. JJ, Spencer and you remained in the room. Spencer was asked to be Henry’s godfather and the instant demeanor change when he held his godson gave you whiplash. He was so pure and precious with Henry. Emily had asked you the same question after her interesting interaction with Spencer. And you told her that you’d love to have children with Spencer but that you were concerned about pregnancy and child rearing. She told you that Spencer would be with you every step of the way and that you shouldn’t let your anxiety make you feel like you wouldn’t be a good mother, which gave you some peace about it.

You had to excuse yourself from the room quickly as a wave of emotions hit you as you watched Spencer with Henry. JJ and Spencer immediately became concerned with your behavior. Spencer handed Henry back to JJ and quickly left the room after you.

The others went back into the room and Spencer caught up with you halfway down the hall (damn his long legs). He gently reached out to touch your elbow.

“Y/F/N, hey, wait.” He said so softly that you had to stop and turn to face him to be met with the sweetest face of concern. “Are you ok?”

After what this man had just been through with his family, he was asking you if you were ok.

“Yeah. I’m fine.” You manage a small smile. You really were ok but you just didn’t know how to bring up your feelings to Spencer.

“Was I…too friendly with JJ?” He averted his gaze to the ground briefly.

Your heart broke. Spencer thought that that was the issue? You had been a bit…jealous of JJ in the past and of their friendship…but you were past that now.

“N-no…it’s not that…”

“Then what is it? Please tell me.” He was looking at you with those damn puppy dog eyes that you couldn’t refuse.

“It’s…kind of…hard to…um…” you trailed off. Should you be blunt or ease into it? You thought.

“Take your time.” Spencer smiled at you sweetly as he placed his hand that was at your elbow on your upper arm.

“How you were with Henry in there…it…sparked something in me…god, that’s a bad word for it…” you chuckle and shake you head.

“Sparked something?” He asked curiously.

“I uh I don’t really know how to explain it…” you became somewhat embarrassed, averting your gaze now from him to the floor.

“Y/F/N…look at me, please.” Spencer said in a tone that compelled you to and you were met with a slight smirk.

“Did you catch baby fever from JJ?”

Your face tinged pink.

“Maybe…I dunno…” you muttered as you averted your gaze to the floor again.

“It’s ok if you did.”

Your eyes snapped back to him, a more genuine smile now having replaced the smirk.

“What?” You asked, confused. You didn’t think Spencer wanted kids. You’d never talked about it before but you were now.

“Did…Emily happen to ask you anything?”

You nodded. “Yeah. She did.”

“And…what did you say?”

“That I had considered it…but that I was a bit scared of pregnancy and child rearing but she reminded me that you’d be with me every step of the way and that my anxiety does not mean I won’t be a good mother.”

His smile widened.

“You’d be a great mother.”

“Really? You think so?”

He took your hands in his, bringing them up to his lips to kiss.

“I know so.”

“So do you um…”

“Emily asked me earlier if I was considering it and I never answered her…I think the prospect was just too overwhelming for me to even think about in the moment but now that I’ve had some time to think…I think I’d like that…”

“How have you had time to think with all that’s been happening with you?”

“Well…I dunno, I’ve just…I know it’s not the best example but I’ve seen what people will do for their children, their loved ones and what people won’t do and…I know that I love you and I know that I want a life with you and…I think I might want that life with you to include children.” Spencer says, vocalizing it for the first time and feeling even more sure about it now that he has said it out loud and realizes it truly is what he wants. “Plus…with JJ having been pregnant…I can’t say the thought of you like that hadn’t crossed my mind at least once or twice.”

“Oh? Like PG thoughts or…MA?”

“Definitely both…” Spencer’s cheeks tinged pink.

“Well…if that’s something you want…I think that’s something I want too.” You say and like Spencer, you are more sure of it as you vocalize it to him.

“Really? You’re sure? I don’t want to make you feel pressured or anything, you’re the one who is going to be carrying the child, after all.”

“Yes. I’m sure.”

He wraps his arms around your waist and you wrap your arms around his neck.

“I love you so much.” He whispers in your ear.

“I love you too.”

“So, what do you want, hon?”

“What?”

“Do you want to have a boy or girl?”

“Oh um…a girl, I guess…”

“Perfect. I’m so gonna spoil her. She’s gonna be such a Daddy’s Girl. Do you just want one or do you want more?”

“Oh I don’t think I’d be able to handle more than two…three would be pushing it.”

“Two or three beautiful Reid children it is, then. What about names?”

“Spencer…we don’t have to figure this all out today.”

“You’re right.” He pulled away from nuzzling your neck to kiss your forehead. “I’m sorry. I just got excited.”

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader

[oodlyenough]

hmmm finished the first episode of new tales. i've been more or less unspoiled and have been avoiding any particular spoilers. here's a reaction post for posterity, lol

so far I feel like the game is a solid... B-. it's better than the worst promo clips, but it's not yet spectacular in any particular way. there are some funny jokes, and probably at least twice as many unfunny ones, lmao, but such is a borderlands game i suppose

i like anu a lot, even though i think her acting is probably the hammiest. it works better in-game than it does in isolated clips, IMO. also the inherent concept of her character is just likable, lol. ALSO... lesbian anu? she got teased for having a siren thing, phuong AND stapleface are both into her... hope there's more there lol

i also like phuong. i assume we see more of her later. i was disappointed we left her behind so quick.

i don't mind octavio and louie but they do kind of flip back and forth for me on the charmingly pathetic to just pathetic line. so tbd i guess.

similarly with fran I like some of her stuff and then they'll blindside you with classic gearbox borderlands uncomfortable sexual humour... is she octavio's surrogate mother figure or does she want to fuck him? PLEASE pick one of the two and not both. jesus. i want to say it's nice that they have a fat disabled bisexual woman but i find gearbox often rides the line with these kinds of characters where it can feel like the punchline IS "hahaha she's horny AND she's fat [or autistic or otherwise weird or whatever the case is]"

so far the choice mechanics are kind of oblique... i both do and don't like it. there's some times (like breaking sponsor bot) where i "make a choice" without realizing in the moment it's a choice, which i suppose is uh Realistic or whatever but (like with sponsor bot) can be kind of annoying

other stuff:

i was spoiled for the fact that sasha and fiona got a namedrop but sasha and rhysha got a much bigger presence in ep 1 than i expected. i sent the photo "on a vacation" and was gratified by rhys freaking out and by the fact that apparently i was right about fiona being the missing one in bl3?

aside from that rhys' writing is uh. not great. and i mean that fairly literally, in that there are actually bits I like, and then other bits that I do not like at all. but whatever lmao. i guess i'll assume he had a nervous breakdown because sasha dumped him.

the animation is not very good...i mean it's about on par with Telltale's, but so many years after Telltale that it seems kind of embarrassing. i don't thin animation makes or breaks a game and I don't expect naughty dog level animations from a bordylands game, but this game needs all the help it can get

the voice acting like all of gearbox's stuff is hit and miss

it's cool what they did with lor. i can't think of any other characters you see transition during their series. (I'm sure some must exist, but I'm not familiar with any.) i wonder if he's just a cameo in ep 1 or we'll see more of him later

ep 1 took me a few hours, so this game may take me longer to play than I anticipated. who knew. i'm not NOT enjoying myself, but I think borderlands no longer being my primary fandom is acting as a comfortable buffer

#new tales from the borderlands #bl spoilers #borderlands

[plaidcladjuno]

HAPPY EVERYDAY IS MOD DAY! 🎉

I’m hoping to contribute to the event with some fic and/or meta later on, but I don’t have the time for it right now, so I’m just going to go with a good old reaction post.

I’m putting the rest of the post under the cut because it’s much longer than I anticipated, but the TL;DR version is that I enjoyed that first episode even more knowing everything that happens next. I did remember it very well, but rewatching it now, I was truly impressed by how much they managed to pack into it. It’s a very solid series premiere and I’m so, so excited to rewatch the rest of the show and see it all unfold once again.

Also, I’ve watched a lot of other BL since (can you believe that MoD was my first???) and yeah, MaxTul are still Kings 🙏🏻👑👑

MANNER OF DEATH EP. 01

I haven’t even put the episode on yet and I’m already so fucking excited.

!!!!!

I had forgotten the show opened with the crime scene and not with Bunn arriving in Viangpha Mork. Love how it grips you right away.

Well, that, and Inspector M’s tight uniform. Here’s to the costume department.

JAAANE 😭😭😭

I still really like the opening theme, with its film noir sounds/visuals 👌🏻 (At least that’s what it reminds me of, but I’m not a specialist of the genre at all.)

Those landscapes 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

NATTY 😭😭😭

They really did throw some big ass clues at us right away, uh:

Aww look at Inspector M being all friendly and welcoming with Bunn:

Dare I say he even looks a little... smitten? I mean, I’m sorry, but Bunn wasn’t being that funny. (It’s my personal headcanon that M would totally have gone after Bunn if things had been different.) (But then Bunn wouldn’t get to be so sassy later on and that would be a tremendous loss.)

Also: Gun 🤬🤬🤬

Bunn’s conversation with Jane hits so differently knowing everything that’s happened / is about to happen at this point. “She’s my student... Yet I couldn’t even help her a little bit.” And The Little Mermaid! “She died. She died for love. [...] Can’t there be a better ending?” Jaaane 😭 You fought so hard for that better ending 😭

And then Jane remembering Natty in the classroom 😭

BUNN PARKING IN FRONT OF THE MIST

THIS IS IT GUYS

TAAAN!!!

THE SLOW MO

THE MUSIC

THE LINGERING GLANCES

poetic cinema.jpeg

Personal headcanon: Tan doesn’t recognize Bunn just then, but something about him is familiar. He steals several looks at him from afar at the club, but it’s only later, when he’s got Bunn in his arms, that everything suddenly clicks and he has that “Oh.” moment.

And what kind of fun do you have in mind exactly, Inspector M? Mmmh?

Ugh. That drink looks disgusting.

DRUNK!BUNN IS GIVING ME SO MUCH SECOND-HAND EMBARRASSMENT OMG

Uuugh I love the whole aesthetic of the scene but I especially love that shot. The way they’re framed, Tan’s hand against Bunn’s back... 

This! This is the “Oh.” moment!

THE KISS!

THE KISS!!

THE K I S S ! ! !

Can’t believe the fucking CHEMISTRY between those two. DAMN.

(I may or may not have just rewatched that scene alone more than once. Or twice. Or—)

<333

Also adding this to my “M had a thing for Bunn at the beginning” headcanon:

(AND JUST WHO DO YOU THINK REMOVED BUNN’S SHIRT MMMH?) 

BTW that was a totally gratuitous shot of Tul Pakorn and I, for one, am very grateful to the director of MoD for it.

NOOO NOT THE VIDEO THE SECOND-HAND EMBARRASSMENT IS TOO STRONG

👀👀👀

PUED 🤬🤬🤬

Can’t believe I ever thought he was innocent / that the signs pointing to his guilt were red herrings.

Another one of my favorite shots from MoD: Bunn literally walking into the belly of the beast.

THESE TWO IS2G

AGAIN WITH THE BIG ASS CLUES:

OMG Oat giving it his all in the dance scene with his dress and his flower crown <333

The way Tan teases Bunn about drinking 😂

And then the way he slowly approaches him to remove the petal from his hair... NGL, it still gave me flutters.

TAAAN

THAT EARNEST LOOK ON HIS FACE

KNOWING HE’S NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT THE NIGHT BEFORE

UUGH MY HEART

Can’t help thinking about Jane sitting alone at the table with her abusers at the same moment though 😭😭😭

Damn those punches are even more satisfying to watch now.

STILL WISH HE HAD HIT THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE EVEN HARDER

Uuugh I can feel my heart breaking 😭

“You will know the truth soon.”  😭😭😭

Aww I had forgotten about Bunn thinking about Tan (and the possible relationship between Tan and Jane) just before going to sleep. He’s already got it so baaad~

You know how when you rewatch something you hope against hope that things are going to turn out differently this time around? Yeah...

Let’s just imagine Bunn going to that restaurant with Jane and asking her questions about Tan, and Jane seeing through it right away and reassuring him that there’s nothing between her and Tan, and then the three of them standing together to take down Viangpha Mork’s trafficking ring... Just, Jane remaining alive and getting justice.

Understanding dawning on Bunn as he walks into Jane’s bedroom... And then the discovery of her body... Uugh.

AAAND SCENE! Can’t believe I managed to watch MoD week after week and survive those cliffhangers.

Bonus scene: Aww, poor Oat <3 And still he’s gonna help Bunn in the end!

Can’t wait to rewatch episode 2 tomorrow!!!

#manner of death #mod rewatch #everyday is mod day #tanbunn #maxtul

[supernova-cas]

S01 E01 PILOT

Okay so! starting a rewatch and I thought I’d do a little missing scene from each ep. So here we go starting out strong with some Dean on the road. You can read it here on tumblr or here on AO3!

The road stretches ahead of him, long and empty and Dean speeds up, hits the accelerator, trying to lose himself in the motion, synch up with the car and just glide. But it’s getting harder to focus now, when his destination isn’t some monster or creature from a nightmare. No, he’s not going anywhere so easy.

It’s stupid really, to feel like this and Dean knows it. He’s dealt with much worse than a trip to a college campus. This time last week he’d been over in New Orleans, moments away from being stabbed by an intangible knife. He ignores the slight pain that lingers in his side. As far as hunting injuries go, well it hardly qualifies. Point was Dean wasn’t a kid anymore. He was old enough to hunt on his own now and definitely old enough for this.

And yet, if he was a kid, if they were both kids, he wouldn’t have to be doing this. If they were just a few years younger, Sam would still be right there with him. Sitting next to him and spouting some stupid fact about old lore or just burying his head in one of those trash novels he pretended he never read. They would be together, and for all he knew, if Sam was here, if things were different, if they all stayed together this wouldn’t be an issue at all.

But it’s been years since any of Sam’s shit had cluttered up the backseat. The car’ all Dean’s now, his tapes in the front, his gear in the back, the car was big enough to contain everything he owned and more. All Dean’s possessions, packed into her tight. He wonders if Sam drives. Not that he’d need a car to contain his belongings anymore. No, Sammy’s got a new home now. Proper shelves to line his books up on instead of the corner of the trunk, clothes hanging in a closet instead of piled up on top of a false bottom opening. Yeah, Sam doesn’t need any of the space he and Dean had spent so long arguing over. They’d squabbled for years, each trying to get a little more storage space. And Dean won.

To the victor the spoils. An empty car with all the room in the world. He doesn’t have enough to fill it.

He’s been trying, definitely. Even just now in New Orleans he’d picked up a couple of pretty pieces, a silver knife and some more bullets. His collection is growing, he’s got rifles and handguns now, small knives and machetes, bags and bags of rock salt. Enough iron he’s pretty sure he’s causing some kind of disturbance in the Earth’s natural magnetism. He’s even collected some books of his own. In the trunk is a mixture of a couple of old lore books and some classic literature. Dean may not be going to some fancy college but he sure loves to read. It’s a ragtag little library, taken from old garage sales he passed or the occasional thrift store.

He’s not sure what John would think of them. It isn’t something he’s mentioned. Not because he’s keeping it a secret from him! He just hasn’t had reason to bring it up. It’s not a distraction though, he has that answer locked and loaded. He barely ever reads them, they’re just there in the car. For the long nights when the cards are all frozen and his hustling hasn’t been quite enough to afford to buy dinner and a motel room. When he’s lying back in the impala, waiting to be exhausted enough that sleep overtakes him, sure, he’ll turn a few pages.

Dean passes another mile marker and tries not to see it as another chance to turn back now.

He wonders where Sam sleeps now. If he’s got a little bedside table, he can put his books on before he falls asleep. If his room has thick curtains, if he never has to ignore neon lights flowing through thin curtains or broken blinds. He’s got a home now, the address Dean is driving to, he doesn’t have to sleep in a car.

He wonders if Sam has a car.

The end of the cassette brings him back and for a moment he considers pulling over right there to flip it around. There aren’t any other drivers out here at this time. But if he does pull over, he’s not sure how long it’ll be until he can bring himself to keep going again.

So, he drives in silence. It’s not too far. Which is a good thing. He wants to be there already. And maybe if he tells himself that one more time it’ll make it true.

He slows down as he gets off the highway. Into the residential area of the college town. Sammy’s home neighborhood. He hates how little he hates it.

The impala is silent as he parks her right in front of Sam’s home. She’s beautiful and brilliant and he’s not sure why suddenly she feels small.

A quick knock doesn’t garner any response and Dean is too curious not to take the chance, to test Sam’s defenses.

There aren’t any.

His door is locked and that’s it. He’s not sure what he expected. Sammy definitely doesn’t want to have to explain to all his college friends a line of salt in the doorway, he doesn’t want to carve a sigil in the doorpost. But this, it’s a simple lock Dean gets open in moments. A challenge even Sam would be able to master without trouble.

He moves through the apartment quietly, looking around. It’s bigger than he thought it would be. And there’s so much stuff. He wonders how much of it is Sam’s if he actually owns all this. He probably should have been more focused on his surroundings but with all this, well it was easy to get distracted. Sue him.

So, Sam’s attack takes him by surprise. Not enough of a surprise that Dean doesn’t react well, but enough to get him off balance for a moment. Sam still fights well. Or at least, well for Sam. Dean’s still got the clear advantage as he shoves him right into the other room. The light from the window (framed by thick curtains, he notices) illuminates his face for a moment and Sam falters. Dean gets him pinned down in moments.

“Whoa, easy tiger.” He manages, trying to catch his breath.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice is shock, but not instantly hostile and Dean can’t help the laugh that escapes.

“You scared the crap out of me!” Sam’s voice is his tried and true bitching about being beaten tone, and Dean falls into his own role easily.

“That’s ‘cause you’re out of practice.”

He’s goading Sam and it works, always does. It actually surprises him how fast Sam is, how quickly their roles are reversed.

“Or not,” he admits. Sam hits him twice and Dean rolls his eyes. “Get off of me.”

Sam gets off of him and extends his hand to help Dean. Sam pulls him up and then stands back.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Sam’s voice is upset now and it’s suddenly too real. Sam’s no longer the brother Dean reaches to poke and annoy in the car, he’s no longer an abstract figure too far away to reach. Sam is here, right here in front of Dean and he is angry.

“Well, I was looking for a beer.” He tries with a grin, grabbing hold of Sam for a moment.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Sam repeats and Dean needs to tell him.

“Okay.” He answers. No jokes this time. “We need to talk.”

“Uh, the phone?” Sam asks, eyebrow raised.

“If I’d’a called, would you have picked up?” His tone is light but it’s a serious question and they both know it. Dean thinks for a moment that Sam won’t answer and for another, worse moment that he will.

But he doesn’t get the chance. The lights flick on and Dean spins to see the blonde woman at the switch. She’s pretty, too pretty to be in Sam’s apartment anyway, and more then anything else she’s an interjection into the situation. A distraction and Dean pounces.

“Jess.” Sam speaks up next to him. “Hey. Dean, this is my girlfriend, Jessica.”

“Wait, your brother, Dean?” she asks and where ever that’s going Dean wants to cut it off before it has a chance to begin the trip.

“Oh, I love the smurfs.” He gestures to her crop top and he can practically feel the disdain and anger rolling off the two others in the room. That’s fine. He expected that. “You know, I gotta tell you. You are way out of my brother’s league.”

Jessica looks at him like he’s just confirmed Sam’s reasoning for leaving in a single moment.

“Just let me put something on.”

No. He isn’t staying, they aren’t staying. This isn’t some long conversation to be had. And Sammy definitely didn’t want his girlfriend in on it.

“No, no, no, I wouldn’t dream of it.” He says with an easy grin. “Seriously. Anyway, I gotta borrow your boyfriend here, talk about some private family business. But, uh, nice meeting you.”

“No.” Sam speaks up and Dean watches as he walks away from him, as he goes to put his arm around Jessica.

“No whatever you want to say you can say it in front of her.”

Dean looks at him for a moment. He hadn’t anticipated this. But he can’t very well walk away now.

“Okay. Um.” He looks at them straight on, trying to order his thoughts. “Dad hasn’t been home in a few days.”

“So, he’s working overtime on a Miller Time shift.” Sam says, and his words are heavy and disgusted. His hold on Jessica seems to tighten. “He’ll stumble back in sooner or later.”

Dean ducks his head. Trying to let that one go. It’s not that he’s wrong exactly, it’d happened before. But it wasn’t something they’d say. Not like this. And besides this time isn’t like that at all. This time is different. This time, John is in trouble. And Dean’s not going to let him down. He’s going to get his baby brother and he’s going to get the family together and safe. He looks back up at Sam, his gaze hard as he says,

“Dad’s on a hunting trip. And he hasn’t been home in a few days.”

#my writing #mine #scene fill #fjksdakjlfdskl i hope people see this #i'd love to hear some thoughts #or if anyone wants to read future ones?

[potahun]

Some more Qin Shen Shen moment translations (9/?)

Link to other translations so far.

In cuts outside the final broadcast - part of the Xiao Gui series:

a. Qin Shen Shen playing quick questions, quick answers. 

ZS: Apart from me, who in the remaining three young singers (in Group A) do you most want to be paired with?

LKQ: Xiao Gui.

ZS, sourly: Ohhhh...............So...collaborating with me, you feel really... *makes motions with his hands* like there aren’t any sparks, is that right?

LKQ: ......Do you really have this little confidence in yourself?

ZS: Yes. (frenetically to the camera) I really am someone who’s extremely insecure and extremely not self-confident!! (LKQ: OK Next question, next question!!)

b. Qin Shen Shen play the lie detector game. One asks the questions, the other answers with their hand on the lie detector. If the person answering lies, they get an electric shock.  

ZS, handing the lie detector to LKQ: Teacher, put your hand here. (LKQ complies) Who’s the young singer you most want to be paired up with?

LKQ: .....Apart from you, right?

ZS, sassily: Uh, no, I’m also in it.

LKQ: Then you! 

ZS frantically presses on the button to activate the lie detector, but LKQ doesn’t get shocked. 

ZS, upon hearing the sound signalling that LKQ hasn’t lied: Ah? *gasps and covers his mouth*

LKQ: Okay lah! *smug as fuck*

ZS continues to pretend being overwhelmed with a whole flurry of shocked faces, before suddenly going “oh” and putting his hand on the lie detector:

ZS: Not me, though. (Both crack up)

c. Continuation of the lie detector game.

ZS, positioning LKQ’s hand on the lie detector: Amidst all the senior singers...

LKQ, anticipating: Mm. Me. (ZS: Apart from you.) 

Both cackle.  

ZS: Apart from you...

LKQ, already guessing the question: Aren’t you copying my question? (LKQ had asked the same question to ZS earlier but ZS had refused to answer)

ZS: Uh, is that not allowed? You didn’t fix any rules -- Who sings the worst? *activates lie detector*

LKQ: Mmmneh, it’s the same question! What’s fun about that...?

ZS, still sassily: Uh, answer quickly.

LKQ: What’s fun about that? *leans to repeat* Who...? Who - who...

ZS: ...sings the worst. .....We can give you ample time to think about it. 

LKQ, in his bullshitting voice: .........Actually, everyone still has a lot of room for improvement. (ZS: Huh??) *LKQ cracks up and gets zapped*

LKQ falls over on the sofa, dead with laughter, while ZS rushes over to grab him:

ZS: For real?? For real?? For real?? (LKQ, still dying of laughter: Yeah...!)

LKQ, whimpering after getting up: Did I say something wrong? (ZS, singing to the camera: Being invincible is so, so lonely) ....Right...I said something wrong. *shakes his hand* Whoaa!

ZS: Seriously? Did you really get zapped? (LKQ: Yeah!) For real? ...Wow!

LKQ (to the staff): I didn’t lie! (T/N: with the wrong intonation) *leans towards ZS* is it lie?

ZS, correcting the intonation: It’s “lie”.

LKQ: Lie. (to ZS) I didn’t lie!

ZS: You did lie. (to the camera) After all, how could the senior singers who come to our show have any problems?

Note: Tbh this cut is impossible to translate in written form without the visual that goes with it so here is the link. The part at issue starts from 1:20 onwards.

d. Episode 12, Backstage: Li Keqin and Zhou Shen are talking about the 3 songs they are singing for the episode, including “Your Name, My Last Name”, a Cantonese song that Zhou Shen was unfamiliar with.

ZS: We haven’t rehearsed it that much, actually. 5-6 times? 6-7 times?

LKQ: Definitely less than Xiao Ge, that’s for sure.

ZS, scoffing: Xiao Ge, someone here is not satisfied with you.

LKQ: So it means we’re still not (ZS: satisfied) serious enough about rehearsals.

ZS, surprised: Huh? (LKQ: Yeah!) We are very serious!

LKQ: They just casually rehearse 10 times, 17 times...right, while we just rehearsed 7-8 times.

ZS: But to be honest, even if I rehearsed this song any longer today, no matter how many times I rehearse it, it’d be meaningless. Because I need to go home and really tame it. I have to tame a song until it’s familiar, until...until it’s in my head--

LKQ: I know you don’t like this song. You’ve never heard of it, and you say it’s meaningless. *giggles* (ZS, laughing and touching his arm: That’s not it. It’s just....it’s just...)

LKQ, goofing around with lots of hand movements: After you finish singing it you’ll know how good this song sounds, and also, you will love it more!!!

ZS: That’s not it, it’s just, that song isn’t in my head yet...

LKQ (to the camera): It’s mainly that he’s slept too little.

ZS, ignoring the remark: If I kept rehearsing it onstage, I feel like it’d be a bit...Right now I just want to hurry home, I want to listen to it while I take my shower, study it while I take off my make-up... The competition’s tomorrow. (to LKQ) It’s the last episode, Da Ge. (LKQ: Right) *in Cantonese* Da Lao~

LKQ: Even though out of the two of us, I’m the one who’s relatively more familiar with the song “Your Name My Last Name”--

ZS: You’re not relatively more familiar; you’re super familiar with it.

LKQ closes his eyes and sighs.

LKQ: --because it’s in cantonese, for me it’s comparatively easier to handle. But actually, I also have a lot of parts where I need to go home and polish the harmonisation.

e. Episode 12, Backstage: Li Keqin and Zhou Shen are talking about the 3 songs they are singing for the episode, including “Hua”, which they’d originally prepared for Ep. 11:

ZS, referring to “Hua”: This is a song we’ve prepared before, so we’re very familiar with it. There’s no problem with it.

LKQ: There’s no problem when we get the demo a little bit earlier.

ZS: “Hua” is a song we were going to sing last time. Basically, it’s about showing a different style, I guess. “Hua” is also a song in which teacher Keqin sings in a cute way that people wouldn’t expect -- in a refreshing way. (to LKQ) I think it’s a cute and refreshing style.

LKQ, slightly sassy (to ZS) : Actually, I had a lot of songs in the past which were very cute and very refreshing... (ZS: Such as) It’s just that I didn’t get to show them with *motions with his hands* “someone else” in this show-- 

ZS: So it makes you regret that you’ve been singing with me until now?

LKQ stops, closes his eyes.

LKQ: No, I meant -

ZS, laughs: Alright.

LKQ: I meant I didn’t have such a collaboration with you. (...)

f. Episode 12, Backstage: Li Keqin and Zhou Shen are talking about the 3 songs they are singing for the episode, including the original song written for them, “Bu Jian Jiu San”:

LKQ: Yes. I think...from episode 1 until now, we’ve always had a great collaboration. So, to have a small “baby” come out like that (ZS makes a face), in my view, it’s like...like commemorating this group of ours.

ZS: I think--

LKQ: --It’s lovers who are breaking up and make a baby. *loses it* (ZS: ???!!!!)

ZS, feigning outrage while LKQ is still laughing: How do you want this part to be broadcasted??? Your values are VERY problematic! *sighs*

LKQ: Not at all! I think that simile was very good!

In another interview before the finale, Li Keqin “tones it down” by comparing it to “Lovers who are about to separate and make something together”. Not sure which came first. In that interview, Li Keqin calls the song “a present that the show gave to them, and a present that they gave themselves.”

#qin shen shen #zhou shen #li keqin #hacken lee #wo men de ge #our song #qss trans #most remaining cuts are stuff that are really difficult to translate without the visual #sigh I want a Qin Shen Shen comeback #I want it bad #wmdg trans

[hu-meow]

Gentleman Jack 1x03

Alright so I had meant to get back to this sooner, but things happen and were we are. I also realize there are a few others that have done similar to this, and they have amazing and far more intellectual and elegant and analytical words for this type of thing. Mine is far more, uh, "I like this because of blah blah blah." Anyway...

1) Fresh from the Lake District, our Ann(e)s find themselves in some lovely conversation only to be interrupted by some Rawson relations. Ann would much rather in with Anne, alone, and it is very clear when she answers Mrs Rawson. "Oh, Miss Lister, you're here. We can leave..." Ann "Oh, if you'd like" HA. Bye bitch, don't let the door hit you on the way out. But alas, they stay. And then Anne flirts, in front of her mother and Ann with Miss Rawson. Ann does this little eyebrow raise, almost like she's thinking over what Anne says, so cute. And originally I was burnt to hell about there being no show of the Lake District trip, but after reading the companion book, Anne didn't go/meet up with Ann there, so I guess that makes sense. But still. Seeing Ann light up would have been very swoon worthy.

2) I keep forgetting to mention how much I love the intro. I never skip it, even after watching it as many times as I have. The only other opening I never skipped was GoT. So. Good job on that one, music/sound team.

3) I don't know French, but Elizabeth Cordingley's complete butcher of it still cracks me up. Any French speakers reading this? Does she even make sense? Is she understandable at all?

4) This little sneaky walk to the "shed" is cute. Obviously Anne has planned it, but Ann is oblivious. And Ann talking about the Ainsworth's. It's like she's hoping Anne will approve of putting them off. At first, we just assume it's because Ann just wants to travel with Anne. But of course, later we realize (at least how I took it) that Ann would rather Mr. Asshole not be anywhere near her. Man, the way the writing sets up everything is just too perfect. Anyway...Ann's (Sophie's) delighted face when she sees the chaumiere! So adorkable. How can you not fall in love with her? Anne totally is, that's for sure lol We get our first two lip licks here (07:12 and 07:54) with Ann being nervous but trying not to be. Suppose it's more anticipation. But she was ready for that damn kiss. She even leaned in, but of course, Anne knows how to draw out that moment, and it makes it even more satisfying. And then the little tongue thing after from Ann. (9:34) It just slays me.

5) A quick "thank you James" and then an up against the door kiss. HNNG. And "...stay all night." GURL. Talk about the Thirst. Went from first kiss to that in .002 seconds. LOVE. IT. It even throws Anne off. And she plans her conquests out. But you can tell Ann was moving FAR quicker than she'd anticipated. It's like Anne didn't even have to try. lol She has to court so hard with these other women, and then here goes little Miss Ann Walker, all but throwing herself at Anne LOL def wife material.

(this is really long, so I’m drop this here)

6) I love spaztastic Marian. I think I love it most because her character was so different in GoT. Much more like Anne's. And here she's so NOT that lol. Emma plays the part so well. Everyone does. God I love this show. The spat at the table was great, with Marian being Marian and Anne trying not to smile through it all. Such perfect sibling dynamic.

7) Captain Lister about to spill the tea and Anne walks in and is like "we don't fight" LOL then continues to lay the verbal smack down to Jeramiah, like "did I fucking stutter with my price?" Anne def has the biggest balls of them all.

8) "Will you tell Calligula" LMAO just great little line. And random, but why doesn't Marian sport the weird little curls at her ears like everyone else does? I think she had them like, once, in ep 1? and that's been it. Just curious about that.

9) Ann asks Anne a few times "are you all right" and of course, Anne's answer to everyone else is always "I'm always all right." but I'm almost certain, Anne always answers Ann with some type of explanation. (there is the 'nothing' before Ann goes to Scotland, but more of that when we get to that episode, and she does still answer. MY HEART). But from what I can remember, Anne doesn't front with Ann that she's "all right". She gives her something, she's open. She's still trying to be strong, but she allows that softness too. Which brings me to probably one of my most favorite kisses of theirs. Its just so slow, and tender, and it's almost a side kiss, and just idk. It's very beautiful. ALSO I noticed this time, that after the kiss, both of their hands are on the back of the chair, and their fingers/pinkies are touching (29:50) It's brief and you almost miss it, but damn. I need that giffed. gif'd? gif'ed? as a gif. It's just too precious. They cant kiss more because of where they are and Anne is about to leave, but their hands are hidden and they just need that little bit more of contact and its just HNNG.

10) I love Aunt Anne. She's just a treasure and she love Anne so much and wants her to truly be happy. And I totally want to start saying "off you pop" LOL

11) Okay, so even though the Ann(e)s have done a LOT together, it just feels like this dinner is their official first date. They both dress up, it's dinner, Ann is nervous again and she's rambling and it's so adorkable and Anne thinks so too and just smiles as she waits for Ann to get to her point. Then there's still some nervousness with after dinner tea, and Anne is like, well, first date done, time for the big one with a reassuring leg squeeze...and Ann gets to the very idea of it being a marriage on her own! Cue floored Anne once again. I swear every time Ann surprises Anne, she falls more in love with her little Miss Walker. Ann is doing the lip lick think (38:59) and omg the way she says, and especially her face for, "give birth" is just as great as the first time. That should be a gif too LOL

12) Fucking John Booth going to the wrong damn house! Come on dude, are you even paying attention to what/were your mistress goes?? Facepalm for days. I think that actually happened though, if I'm not mistaken (it's been a minute since I read the companion book, and I read it at like 3am, and slept since...but if not, whatevs.)

13) OMG the full blown make out! Complete with some grubbling!! I find it interesting though, that Ann has Anne stop, as it becomes "too much" yet she had been asking her to stay all night. I wonder if this is a nod to how indecisive Ann was, or if she just didn't quite understand how overly emotional the physical stuff would make her. Either way, we end up with FIVE (5) nervous lip licks here, folks. It was a hard scene to not blink through, and lots of 10 sec rewinds to catch it all (42:13, 42:37, 42:44, 42:46, and a half one but I count it anyway at 43:00. I think I got those times correct, anyway. Just watch the whole scene, really.) And then we end it was Anne's 4th wall break and Ann asking what she's looking at LOL I know there's talk about wanting Ann to have some 4th wall breaks in season 2, and as much as I would love that as well, it's sorta almost a joke that everyone has it BUT Ann. So, even if she doesn't in s2, I won't be horribly disappointed, especially if Anne does it again and Ann asks again LOL

14) There were other things I had notes on, but I'm skipping because this is longer than the first two, and I hadn't planned that. Ah well...Back to the Ann(e)s....LOL of all the places, why is Ann on the floor? I mean, safety? Protection? Because shes just too fucking precious? I'd assume yes. But Anne is so confused and ready to fuck someone up and then once Ann tells her, the look on Anne's face as she goes from worry to relief is just amazing. Suranne, you fucking goddess. And then all the comfort Anne gives Ann as the poor girl just cries and doesn't think she's good enough. And again, I think this is a bit because of Mr. Fucktard, pressing and getting what he wants no matter what, where as Anne stepped back and made Ann comfortable. I swear Ann doesn't know what it's like to be put first, that her concerns are heard and understood and valued. Everyone just pushes their opinion or wants on her, and she's just had to go with it over th years. She just doesn't even know how to react to Anne and her attentiveness. It's so refreshing for Ann, even if she doesn't fully understand it. And also, because Ann was a wreck, three more lip licks, shit four! (50:59, 51:14, 51:20, 51:44)

15) Fucking Mrs SneakAss Priestly. She can't just leave well enough alone. So bored she's gotta fuck with Ann's happiness. We're having some hella good grubbling, the first fucking "I love you" and this old biddy has to ruin the parade. Anne was hella quick to jump up though. Almost like she's done that before (even though, she totally hasn't, amiright LOL) Ann(e)s just standing there after Mrs P leaves, and omg lol Anne has this "well fuck, how do we turn this around" look, like her brain is really whirling and hoping Ann doesn't freak out, mean while Ann just loses her shit and busts out laughing. So great that happened for real, too. Ann Walker, you are fantastic. "do you want to go upstairs?" because, hello, someone has blue balls at this point. But it's so cute once they get up to Ann's room and the scene nearly ends with her lip lick (58:23). But those stares, like yeah, we're totally in this together now....

AH OKAY. FucKIng LONG. I'm sorry! I even cut some things, so if you made this far, thank you! This was a really good episode, really kicks off their momentum and is sorta the calm before the storm. Oh, I also started to take note of the dresses Ann wears, cuz I swear she only wears like five. so far I have: That Blue Dress, the pink/purple plaid (first kiss), the pink with the sheer puff sleeves (that's what she's wearing in my fave kiss), the pink with some design (flowers?) for the "date", and a pink/purple color she's wearing at the end. So, that is five, and I'll have to see what else she wears, if any (yes shes wearing something else in Scotland, and no, night clothes don't exactly count. though her with her side braid and yellow corset and bloomers is my fave in the whole series...more of that later.)

Counts:

*Anne 4th wall breaks (ep): 3

**Total: 11

*Ann's lip licks (ep): 13!

**Total: 19

(there was a lot this ep, so I'm not going to list them here. And there was a fair amount of lip presses, which are def honourable mentions and worth watching...)

#gentleman jack #anne lister #ann walker #1x03 #scene breakdown #suranne jones #sophie rundle

[smolbeandrabbles]

Sway Pt.8 - Danny Rayburn x Reader (Bloodline)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6  / Part 7 / Here / Part 9 / Part 10

Author’s Note: I wrote some of this way back in January. When this series was going to be 3 or 5 parts... Which is why it took so long to edit, because ‘Sway’ is not that story anymore... And after you read this there’s two left. And I... I just... I’m going to cry so hard when I write that final line, and post that final part...! Disclaimer: I stretched the timeline a little to have Danny down in the Keys a little while longer before Robert dies... None of the Bloodline characters are mine. But she is. And I love her so much. Stole all the dialogue from Danny/Nolan at the bus station from S.2 Ep.10 Also, quote above from S.1 Ep.4 Premise: In the aftermath of the restaurant Danny makes the decision to head back to the Keys.... You follow him down to attend Robert’s funeral, but not for the reasons you might think...

Words: 9133

Warnings: Swearing / 

I just gotta see him with the sun shining on him in the water Chrome aviators on his eyes I wanna hear those waves come crashing in I wanna feel that sand and that wind I wanna go everywhere he's been, hold him again

 ---

She said I know, I know, it don't seem real, She closed her eyes, but the tears flowed through, She said don't hate me, for lovin' you

Oh I could not reassure her, I couldn't say what I had planned, Couldn't put three words together, So I just, took her hand

--- God, I'm down here on my knees, Cause it's the last place left to fall, Beggin' for another chance, If there's any chance at all, That you might still be listenin', Lovin' and forgivin' guys like me I've spent my whole life gettin' it all wrong, And I sure could use your help cause from now on...

Cause' it going to take a miracle, After all I've done to really make her see, That I wanna be a stay man, I wanna be a great man, I wanna be the kind of man that she sees in her dreams, God, I wanna be your man, And I wanna be her man God, I only hope she still believes, In the man I wanna be --- Miami, AM

You had tried everything to keep him here. Even getting angry; following him around your apartment as he packed his things. He was too good for his family, which is why you never understood why he wanted so badly to run back to the Keys. “What are you looking for? Their respect? Their admiration? Danny, their love? They will NEVER give you that. And I don’t know why you can’t see that you are too damn good for your family and they don’t deserve your tryin’!!” You regretted it almost immediately at the hurt look on his face. “They are my family...” He was as right as he was wrong. The only one who even remotely treated him like family was John. You liked John, but he was one man... Danny had a network of ‘family’ here. “...You HAVE a family.” You touched a hand to your forehead “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that... I just... I don’t want you to leave... to go back to them!” He placed his hands on your shoulders, firm but gentle; “Y/N. I can’t stay.”

*

You drove Danny over to his apartment that morning in order for him to pick up a few things. He offered to let you help him, but you couldn’t face that without crying again. Nothing you said worked; he was determined about going and even more determined about staying. Instead, you had picked up Nolan to also say goodbye, and you were now standing outside Bayfront Park metro and bus station waiting for him. You were quiet, because you weren’t sure exactly what to say. Nolan wasn’t too keen on seeing his father leave for the Keys either. It wouldn’t be too bad, perhaps, if you were heading to the party yourself. You couldn’t for two reasons; one was work, and that wasn’t just an excuse you were making, you were about to close a huge deal and Rich only trusted you with it. You couldn’t just walk away for a long weekend; and for the Rayburns?!

The second was if you left, if you went to the Keys... If Danny was really adamant about staying until his life got back on track, then you weren’t so sure even your parents would be able to drag you away from him and back to Miami. They would just have to represent you for a little while. At least you knew they would help see Danny settled.

 He arrived, backpack slung over his shoulder, and crossed to you both. Slipping his hands into yours he kissed your cheek in greeting. You put on a brave face and in that moment, you never wanted to let his hands go. “So, this is it, you’re just running away?” You weren’t sure that was particularly helpful, and your look let Nolan know it. Danny clearly didn’t know how to react, searching around as if anyone in Miami had the answer he himself wanted “…Going back home?” To stop you from joining the 2v1 argument Danny at least found something to say; “The guys that I owe money too… They’re not gonna stop ‘til I pay them back.” He could tell by the way you held his hand tighter that you were dying to say it, all over again. “…Didn’t… uh… Didn’t you get insurance money?” “Nah…” This was only followed by another silence “The cops said it was arson. So, you don’t get paid for that.” Nolan got quiet and looked to the ground. Danny sighed, and for a second rummaged in his pocket; before holding out a key “The key to my apartment… When I get myself set up, and I get on my feet I’m gonna start sending you money, okay? Take it.” It was strange for Nolan to look reluctant to do even that, but you thought it was sweet. It still gave Nolan somewhere to go – not that your place would ever not be an option for him. Money for Nolan… That’s what this was really about… You knew that now, every decision Danny made, it was for Nolan. “Okay… Well…” He turned to the bus, “This is me… Rayburn Express…” with your hand still in his he turned back to you; “…You’ll be coming down right? Your parents will be at the party...?” You hated to bite your lip and shake your head but you had to, “Not this weekend... they will, I can’t...  Of course, when everything is settled down. I’ll make a weekend or week of it...” He nodded, noticing the way you weren’t quite meeting his eyes, he was surprised your mascara wasn’t already running... “Good luck with the deal, you’ll get it. 100%!” Your smile was sad, and your lip quivered “Yeah.”

Danny was decisive, he didn’t want to drag out how much this was hurting you any longer. Pulling you into his arms he rubbed your back; “It’s gonna be okay... I’ll be back before you realise I’m gone...” at your choked breath he realised it was a bad choice of words “We’ve made it through worse... Darlin’ it’ll be okay...” he took your face in his hands and made you look back into his eyes. “I love you...” He kissed your forehead “Don’t ever forget that...” then your lips. However long that goodbye kiss was, it didn’t last nearly long enough. He let you go and turned to Nolan. “Listen…” The silence was back. He was struggling… you were struggling… Nolan was struggling. “What?” “…. Just… Just take good care of yourself, okay?” He reached out and took Nolan’s cigarette from him, as if to make a point, then looked back to you “And take care of her... she’s pretty tough. But she’ll need it...” “Yeah.” Nolan nodded, and Danny realised he was just as sad as you “I will...” Mercifully his bus was called... Danny’s hand left yours only when he could stretch his arm any further. He continued to walk backwards a few paces. And it was the first time you thought Danny might cry about this. “I love you. Both of you!” You felt that was harder for him to say than anything else ever hand been. And he turned to board the bus, gave one last look and wave back and then he was gone. And you couldn’t take it. You turned away, leaning on Nolan’s shoulder for support, your eyes stung with tears you had been desperately holding back. Nolan watched Danny walk up the bus to take his seat and placed his hand over yours. The bus revved into life, making you turn back. Danny took a deep breath and turned to wave to you both waving him off, with possibly the saddest smile you’d ever seen anyone give. He knew he’d be crying too before he hit Miami’s outskirts. As the bus rolled off you dropped your hand and really began crying. It felt like your heart was breaking all over again, and you weren’t sure if it was because of Danny or for him. Nolan pulled you close and enveloped you in his arms. And you realised that he was crying too.

“I’m gonna miss him... Y/N... I’m gonna miss him too...”

 ***

 Islamorada, Rayburn House, AM

You weren’t sure how you felt about the context of the situation you were seeing Danny again in. Seeing him was going to be the best thing that had happened in months... but at his father’s funeral? With what you knew? Your parents weren’t sure you’d want to go, but you’d skipped out the first weekend on pretences of work. And that if he stayed… you would stay. This time it would be different... You hoped. Your black dress was appropriately modest for the situation, yet airy enough for the hot summer sunshine. Your parents hadn’t said you were coming, but were staying at Rayburn House. It would only be one night, but you knew how much it would hurt. Even driving down the driveway was enough to have tears sting at your eyes. At least you could pretend it was about the funeral, you supposed. The gathering was larger than you had anticipated, but allowed you to blend for a minute and take in being back here. You stuck close to your parents as they made the rounds, people you’d recognised from trips up here during the past 3 years… You’d already seen John spot you and try to inconspicuously point your presence out. From what you had heard from your parents (amidst howling with laughter) they had every reason to believe you and Danny had split. WRONG! You smirked into your glass, and then you spotted him. Not in black, no less. His off-white shirt and black jeans marked him out against everyone… That was just like him… Danny was talking with two people you didn’t really recognise, had he ever actually made an attempt to introduce you to anyone here? If he had you’d probably have thought about relocating to the Keys... But as he circulated you couldn’t help but steal glances at him, until finally he looked at you. He blinked hard and then you saw that smile, and he successfully stole your heart again. You smiled back, but remained with your parents... Outwardly Danny always oozed confidence, but you knew this wasn’t easy for him... At one point you found yourself sitting alone trying to take it in. Trying to process what you were here for… Tapping your foot lazily against the porch and liking to be lost in your own thoughts. You didn’t expect any of the Rayburns to come to you – that’s what your parents were here for… "Y/N!!" You were almost surprised to see the call come from John's daughter. "Janey! Hey!!" You embraced her tight as she sat with you "What's goin' on!!" "Oh, the usual...! I'm glad you're here!" "... Oh, really?" "Yeah, for Danny... Unless... Did you guys really...?" "Really what?" You wanted someone to confirm your suspicions "Did you really break up...?? I thought you were good together... I really liked you together." You couldn’t help but feel glad she said it, but you laughed "Nooo... We did not, in fact, break up. The party I heard about. Thought it was hilarious, typically Danny..." you giggled to yourself "Seems like everyone else wanted it to happen..." you looked across at her "You good at keeping secrets?" "Awww...! I can't tell anyone!?" but she grinned, happy to hear the news "Well. Okay, maybe your DAD can know. Is he any good at keeping secrets!?" She snorted "No. He's a detective." "Eh. True..." "Are you staying...?" Her tone was hopeful. You had to disappoint her by shaking your head, "I can't. Or I would sweetie... Obviously I would..." You nodded forwards, both of you watching Danny do more rounds with people. The two friends you had spotted him with before never far away. You were glad he had more than just his family here... Heck, whoever they were were probably more family than his family... "... Will he go back to Miami?" Now she sounded disappointed "I don't know... I guess it depends how long it takes him to decide he's back on his feet..." you sat back "I want him back in Miami. You don't sound like you do." "I think he's really cool." That statement almost surprised you "If he goes back you have to promise to visit more often!!" You sighed "Oh, no! That means coming down here to this awful view!!" She laughed at your obvious sarcasm, but you tapped her "You're an adult. You'll have to visit us in Miami too, okay? That's my condition to your condition!" She beamed at your offer "Okay. That sounds great to me!" “Do me another favour too…” You smiled across to her “Tell him he’s cool. Tell him often, he’ll like that!” She was called back to her parents, but took your hands in hers “I will! Don’t be a stranger!!! Stay longer!!” “Next time! I promise!” * The service was appropriate... You held your moms’ hand tight and respected John’s speech. You’d always respected John, in three years you hadn’t been back frequently, but he always made time to see you when you did; John respected you. Other members of his family were less than accepting and you just wanted to steer clear of that. You weren’t here for negativity, after all. After the ceremony was over your parents went back to their rounds, but you shook your head as you watched Danny walk off alone. It was more important you speak to him... They let you go, understanding, and you slowly wandered after him, this time with a glass of water... You waited patiently for someone else you didn’t recognise to finish their conversation with him before you cut into his thoughts; He looked up as he walked over, conversation with Danny finished, upon seeing you he looked back to Danny and then to you; “Oh my goodness! I’m sorry dear!” “No, no!” You laughed as the older man apologised for taking Danny’s time “You go on!” “Oh no!” He smiled “I’m sure he’d much rather talk to you!” You shook your head “Oh, I dunno...” you walked slowly towards Danny, watching his body language closely. Perhaps now wasn’t the time to tell him what you had really come here for. “Hey...” He was smiling before he turned to the sound of your voice  “It’s been a while, baby girl!” You nearly rolled your eyes “I’d say sorry but... I don’t think I’d mean it...” “Naw, it’s okay... You staying?” He looked back to the waves lapping at the shoreline, taking a sip of beer. “Just tonight...”  “Just tonight??” “I have to go back… One car...” you sighed gently “I miss you.” “I know. I miss you too. You should come visit properly...” You laughed, clearly asking him to come back and stay was still off the table, “You could come back to Miami and visit too, you know.” “Nah, I work here now... I can’t just leave...” “Can’t blame me for trying...” You walked forward until you were in the water, staring out at the vast ocean... “No but I mean it, come down! I’ll take you out... Hey, we could even go down to the other islands for a few days. It’d be good!” You turned back to him “Okay. Sure.” “Soon-ish! Don’t use ALL your holiday up on me...” He joined you “Or you can. I’m not gonna complain...”  “Bet not!” You folded your arms “How are you doing?” “Fine...” You took comfort in the fact he met your eyes and it was genuine. “Yeah! I mean, it’s a job, a house and money... I guess that’s important...” “Is it a life?” “It’s... living?” He searches for the word “I mean, I’m living?” Danny wouldn’t count this as a life until he had what he had in Miami, but even you weren’t sure he could replicate that here. Without you didn’t really matter... Without Nolan, though...? That’s what the money was really about. And you’d checked with the bank. Zero activity. Danny sending cash made you uneasy, but if he banked any checks it would only get swallowed up by all the loans he owed. That damn restaurant... The only problem with pouring his heart and soul into the one thing he was really good at was that it went up in literal flames and then his life went up with it. You had tried nearly everything to keep that man in Miami. But he wouldn’t let you help him, and he refused to stay. You couldn’t help but laugh, “I guess I would rather you were alive...!” “Huh! That’s good to know! I’ll keep that in mind!” He reached for his shoulder instinctively and you had to look away. It made you think back; how you thought it was just a tick, because he did it all the time. When you learned the truth about what it really was... Well, what kind of person got angry at someone at their own funeral? You took a breath, wanting nothing more than to take his hand to stop him. It wasn’t easy for you to think of even now.  He got quiet after that, both of you standing staring out at the ocean. The silence was comfortable, for once, but it wasn’t Danny...  "You know..." he almost laughed "He tried to pay me to leave..." You opened your mouth, well it shouldn't surprise you that Robert would do such a thing. You let your question of "why didn't you!?" go. Deciding the answer Danny would give couldn't possibly be satisfactory. Opting instead for; "Could I pay you to come back!?" You received a half smile. "I don't want your money... I'm getting paid well enough here..." "yeah... It’s how you're getting paid..." "so, Nolan’s getting it?" "uh huh." you nodded, but if he wasn't, you wouldn't see Nolan suffering and Danny knew that too. "Alright..." he was satisfied with that, perching himself back on the edge of the boat. Eventually you had to turn back to him; “I’m Sorry...” “Hmm??” “I’m so sorry...” You pulled him into an embrace “I’m so, so, so sorry...” He wound his arms around you and you were finally with him once more. It’s been months since you had this...  “I miss you...” Was all you heard him mumble into your shoulder “I wish you were here...”

When you left him to go back to his thoughts, as clearly Danny had many, you wandered back to the gathering only to be caught by John. Who by the looks of him had just been watching you; "How long are you really prepared to wait for him...? Are you gonna wait forever...?" You smiled, looking out to the Ocean "John, you're implying that I am waiting for something. I'm not." He mulled your answer over with interest "Really." it wasn't a question, but you nodded anyway "I’ll wait for him however long it takes... All I want is him to come home." "... People here want the same thing for different reasons..." "Do you?" John inclined his head "I've already put him on a bus once... I'm trying to do what's best for everyone..." "Is it best for Danny, though?" you looked across at him "... He didn't leave Miami and come here because it was his only option. It wasn't. He came here for help - from his family. Hell, he came here FOR a family... Why are you the only person who treats him like... A person?" "Mom treats him well... Meg’s not bad..." you looked like you didn't believe him. So he sighed "We were always extremely close... Danny always came to me for help... It’s what he does..." "So you really are the big brother. I always thought that." "Yeah. I guess... But listen, Y/N... You don't have to worry about Danny, alright. You don't even have to think about it anymore." He waved a hand "and I understand ending it… I do." You laughed "I didn't end it!" He tilted his head “HE ended it?!” You raised an eyebrow to John, because you knew he knew better than to even ask that “I’ll let you think what you think. Just don’t make it the talk of the town.” He gave you a knowing smile, letting you know he’d caught on “Alright. I won’t.”

 * 

“Danny...” He turned to face your father. A little confused as, when looking around, he realised you weren’t there. What could this be about? He hoped Jack wasn’t also about to try to tempt him back to Miami. “Jack!” He gave a smile “It’s good to see you!” He stepped forward, clasping Danny’s hand and giving him an pat on the back “Likewise, Mr.Rayburn. It’s always my honour!” Jack nodded to the old black Chevy truck “Is she yours?” “Oh! Yes Sir. Well, she was dad’s... I fixed her up.” Well. He wouldn’t give Kevin any credit, at least. “Amazing! Looks nearly brand new... ’57 Chevy pickup…” Jack whistled “You don’t see many in working condition! Well done!” Danny nodded in thanks, “of course! The classic ones always run the best, and longest...” Jack began to walk around the truck, studying it thoroughly “Guess it’s the same for classic relationships...” His eyes flicked to Danny’s and Danny wasn’t sure if there was supposed to be hidden meaning in that... “Guess so...” He trod carefully, walking around the car too; “I’ll have to remember that if I ever get to be in a classic relationship.” “Aren’t you? Maybe it’s a little modern classic...” This was odd. They both began circling the car, slow steps... cautious. Danny could feel his heart beat quicken; was this a test?? “How did you get the car running again...?” “Oh! I changed the carb, changed the battery, ignition, cap, rotor… Name it I probably did it!” Jack nodded along, taking it in; “So you made a modern classic...?” Danny stopped for a second letting his visible confusion show on his face; was Jack Ervin using the car as an analogy? “... She could run forever on that...” He had to be. “I’d hope so... It’d mean... never getting a new... car?” Her father gave a different kind of nod, like he was glad Danny was finally catching on. He put his hands on the hood “What are your intentions Mr. Rayburn?” That wasn’t about a car; “Do you intend to go the distance?” Danny stared at his reflection in the hood and bit his lip; “I... am not sure she’s ready to run that many miles... yet....” He tipped his head, not raising his eyes “... I’m not sure I will be driving forever either. Or, if I am the kind of person to take that trip. And for her... I would have to be...” He looked up slowly as Jack folded his arms, but the smile on his face couldn’t be bigger; “I think you underestimate yourself.” Danny put his hands in his pockets and almost guiltily mumbled “So does she...” Jack nearly laughed; “I like you Danny. A lot. And it would be my honour to give you that. So... just... think on it... I think she’d take a drive anywhere, as long as it was with you...” He grinned “I think it’d be a long trip...” he patted the hood again; “Just maybe not in this... not enough seats!” With that Jack gave a mysterious smile and walked back towards the house. Danny didn’t have the chance to give sincere thanks at Jack’s faith in him because the situation became even more confusing. He scrunched his face What?? Then his eyes widened and he looked back at Jack’s disappearing frame oh...! OH!

*

You had been studying the photographs for a while when Danny came back inside. And he approached you slowly as you looked from one to the other, not wanting to startle you. “God. Don’t look at those!” You laughed “You were blonde! I just can’t believe that!” “Why!?” “Nolan. His hair is dark…” You tapped the photo, “God, he looks JUST like you… That’s adorable…” Though, Meg and John both had dark hair. It wasn’t an exclusively blonde family… “Yeah… He gets that from his mom.” “What!? Eve’s hair is blonde too!” “Not naturally.” “Coulda fooled me.” You tilted your head “And baby John? My goodness… What a cutiepie! You were two good looking young men. Bet you got ALL the girls.” He rolled his eyes “Aw, nah! Not John, not you too!” You laughed “Danny – Calm down! There’s only room for one Rayburn brother in my life…” You shuffled through some of the other photos on the table and paused. “Yeah…” Danny looked over your shoulder “…That’s Sarah…” You picked it up, you could have guessed from the necklace… Then just as quick you put it back and shuffled it under the others, looking back to him; “Why put it out?” “She WAS his favourite.” “…But for you?” He leant on the table next to you, brushing his fingers against yours; “Seeing her doesn’t bother me. She was probably my favourite too… Which is why I took her out in the first place…” He sighed “He bothered me… I still get like…” he waved a hand over his head “…Flashbacks- God, No… Let’s…. Let’s not talk about this…” “I’m sorry…” “What?” “I brought it up. I shouldn’t have… My fault…” You looked back to the photos “It’s not your fault. He did what he did. No ‘you’ about it…” He ran his fingers over your arm; “I mean, I’m ok now, right?” Far from it. You thought, but didn’t say it aloud. “No good worryin’ about things you can’t change, Darlin’…”

* Islamorada, Beach, PM-Late "Meet me up the beach a little way later..." "Why are we being all hush-hush about this..." it amused you to say the least "You know my family..." "Eh. John keeps asking me dumb questions." "That's because you keep answering them!!" “Well I had to put him straight.” “AWWW-! And I was starting to have fun!” He smiled; “So, you up for it? Wait until it gets dark, mm’kay?” “Wow. You make me feel like I’m about 15 sneaking out of my parents house!” He gave a shrug “Well that’s what I’m gonna do. Everyone is going for drinks downtown, though, if you wanna do that!” “No!” You shook you head “That does not sound like my idea of a good time.” “Great!” He watched the way his family were currently watching the two of you, you were just trying to ignore it “…After dark! See you then…” He nudged your shoulder gently as he left you, making you shake your head after him. Honestly!

You sat on the steps of your cabin until you saw him appear a little way down the beach. It was dark, but the porchlights illuminated a silhouette that could only be Danny. Three years was a long time to look at the same person; and you knew exactly how he walked. You turned back to tell your parents that you would be back later; because Danny was taking you on a date. Which, you guessed it would be, and collected your things, walking quickly across the beach to him. “And I thought you’d be here before me…?” He took your hand in his before you’d even had a chance to say hello. “Well, I wanted to make sure it was worth sneaking out!” You gave a wink “Where are we going?” He gave a mysterious smile; “Just up here, Darlin’…! It’ll be great. The sky is clear – it’ll be perfect!” “…Why? What are you planning?” “Mmm! You’ll see…!” He pulled you closer so that he could drape his arm around your shoulders, letting you link your fingers with his. "Janey likes you. Like, really likes you." "Oh! Is there a problem with that!" "No...! It's good to see somebody around here likes you!! She doesn't want you to leave!" That had him laughing. "No! Don't laugh this is serious!" He was making you laugh too, "She even had me making conditions about us visiting the Keys more if you come back to Miami." "And what did you say to that?" "Yeah sure, if she comes to see us!!" "Fair trade." "…Really is conditional on you coming back..!" You tilted your head "Also, you didn't get this from me. But she thinks you're cool." "What's wrong with that!? That's sweet! Have I ever been cool before!?" "Exactly!" You snorted, "Wait until I tell Nolan someone thinks you're cool." "He's not gonna believe you!" "I dunno... I think he thinks you’re cool, he's just too cool to say it..." You squeezed him tighter as you cuddled him "I think you're pretty cool too..." He pushed your arm "Aw, stop it! I'm gonna go as red as you usually do!" "Danny! That is not helping!" You could already feel the heat in your cheeks... He laughed "Ah, I don't say it to help...!" Eventually you came upon his truck. And you realised he’d set it up to provide you with a romantic interlude. He could tell by the look on your face that was at least OK; “Look, I didn’t have much time – I just… I wanted some time alone…” You looked to him, your smile as brilliant as ever “It’s perfect!” He sat you down in the truck bed that he’d tried to make as comfortable as possible and pointed back to the sky. As he’d parked his car on the beach and there was very little artificial lighting around, the stars shone brightly allowing him to pick out several constellations. Star gazing. Danny had brought you here to star gaze. He was truly worth more than words. He uncapped a bottle and held it out to you, but you politely declined; “Oh no, I…” “WAIT. You’re not drinking!? What the hell!?” “Uh, did you know that-!” You had some baffling facts up your sleeve from your mom… “God! Stop!” He covered his ears “Drinking is the only thing that gets me through being here!” He was joking, maybe. But, what other excuses did he have to give for you to tell him to get back to Miami? You laughed, but he picked up another bottle; “Drinking alone… Now THAT’S just sad…” “You’re not alone…” You pulled his body closer to yours, laying your head on his shoulder and running a hand over his chest. He hummed, taking a sip and putting an arm around your shoulders, laying you both back amongst the blankets; “Can’t you just pretend?” “You’re gonna waste a bottle on me?” “…I’ll drink it, you just gotta toast with me…” He tapped the other bottle against your shoulder… You took it; “Well, if you insist…” You studied the bottle, shame, it was a good beer. “I do…” He kissed your forehead gently as you clinked your bottles “Cheers!” “Here’s to us!” You said both in unison. Neither of you expecting to say the other thing. Leaving you both laughing awkwardly. But you smiled, more than glad to accept his phrasing over yours. “Here’s to us…”

*** Your parents had packed the car and were saying goodbye to the family when you made your way outside. It was harder to leave him than to watch him leave you. You reluctantly placed your bag in the car, when you realised that Danny wasn’t even among them. Scanning the group twice to make certain, John detached himself and approached you; “He’s out back...” “Oh. Well then, I better go say goodbye.” “You know you don’t have to do that...” “No, John, that’s the problem. I do.” You hugged him tight; “I hope to see you around Y/N...” “If he stays, you will....” You let him go with a sad smile, “If you’ll excuse me...” Skipping past him and walking back through the house, you opened the back door, finding Danny lost in thought raking the beach.  You stood at the top of the steps leaning against the rail to watch him for a minute; “Danny!” He turned instantly at the sound of your voice and dropped everything to run across the sand to you. “Uh Uh! Cigarette out!!” He raised an eyebrow, you’d never had a problem with him smoking before. But, he did as you asked, glancing you up and down as he ascended the steps slowly; “You’re... Really leavin’?” “Afraid so...” “Aw, c’mon, stay...!” “No...I...” “I have a room, you don’t even need to rent a place, I got a car... I’ll drive you to the airport!” “Dan-” “A week! Take a week! Just a week!” “DANNY!” You cut in “I can’t. And you know how bad I want to stay. But I just can’t...” “You’ll come back? Right? And soon? Sooner than it’s taken you to come here now?” “As soon as I get back, I’ll look into it... but I’ve gotta be careful about how often I’m away... remember.” “Why?” “Well, Nolan ought to see one of us.” He groaned just a little “When do you next see him?” “Friday?” Usually he insisted you tutor him in Spanish. He placed a hand to his forehead; “God I’m such a fucking bad father...”  That hurt you, hurt way more than it should; “Danny! No! Don’t say that!” “God, Y/N, but it’s true!” “Nolan wouldn’t want to hear you say that either!” “You know sometimes I think that kid would have had it easier if I’d have stayed out of his life...” You gasped and put a hand to your mouth; “Danny...” You felt a sharp pain in your heart and your eyes started to well up... “Sorry I just... it’s so hard... being here when you’re both up there... and if I ever got you... I just... I don’t know what I’d do...” Then you sobbed and it startled him, and you did it again. “Y/N? Hey...! Baby... Hey... Shhh... Baby girl what’s wrong?!” “I’m sorry...” “What? No, no! It’s all me! Baby I’m sorry..!” “I’m sorry!!” You repeated as he took your hands. You were scared about him leaving you before, now you felt it was almost certain... “I’m sorry!” You sobbed harder, and it was tearing him apart. He’d been the one saying all that stupid shit, what were you sorry for...? “D-Danny...” Your voice wavered “I’m pregnant.” It took him a minute to register if he’d heard you right. And when he realised you were looking back at him, defeated and waiting for him to say something, he realised that he had. He opened his mouth, but his thoughts went blank and nothing came out... and he felt himself go weak, his hands left yours as he slumped to his knees. “No... N-No...” Danny closed his eyes... He could barely provide enough money to support one kid let alone two, what the hell had he gotten you into?! You took a shaky breath, you couldn’t look at him, you couldn’t let him go... Your hands clasped gently around his wrists. Your tears were still running as you stared out to sea, wishing it would come and swallow you up. “I’m keeping it. Whatever you decide to do... and you can leave... if you want to leave, you can...” You trailed off. Because you were not the only one crying. “...Danny...” You whispered it. He still wasn’t looking at you, but his shoulders were shaking, and you could hear him trying to hold the tears in. You let his wrists go gently and tried to remember when last, if ever, you had seen Danny cry... As you let him go, he knelt up. Winding his arms around you and pulling you into him, he placed his head gently against your stomach but didn’t stop crying. You ran your hands through his hair gently. “Danny, I’m sorry...” He shook his head “Stop it...” He pulled you tighter to him “Don’t ever be sorry....” He took a deep breath and let out a groan; “You’re sure...?” “Yes...” You reached into your pocket. You’d had your mom persuade someone to take a scan for you, but you wanted to prove it to him none the less. You held out the tiny ultrasound scan and let him take it. He laughed, almost shakily, running his fingers over it. He took your hand again, before he stood, looking back at you and placing his hands gently on your stomach; “How long?” “Have I known...? About a month...” You brushed the tears from your eyes “I thought maybe before you went, but I wasn’t sure...”  “How far are you?” “Two, two and a half? I’ll start showing soon... But I didn’t want to tell you over the phone or... I had to tell YOU.” He nodded, looking back to the picture “Can I keep this?” “Do you want to?” “Baby, of course I....” He thought about what he’d just said “...God, I really just...” he sighed “Screwed up. Again… And I… I’m never gonna leave you. Please don’t think that I-” he shook his head “look, this time, THIS time I might actually get this right!” “Woah, woah… don’t worry about money! I don’t need you worrying about anything more than Nolan right now!” You stopped his train of thought right there, he was going to do something stupid if he thought about trying to get money together to raise two kids. You could do this one just fine yourself... not alone... just, yourself. “You’re still going to stay?” You we’re hopeful this could change his mind...  “I have to...” His voice was soft, “maybe I can take some time off and come back. You know you can always come relocate here too... don’t you?” Maybe you could, but, anything to get him home...  He studied the scan again. “Do you know what it is yet?” “No!” You laughed “Danny it’s waaay too early for that!” “Aw, c’mon! How am I meant to help you! I can’t even come up with a name yet?” “... Oh! You’ll be lucky if I let you name my child Mr.Rayburn!” You turned at the sound of your dad calling you though the house; “Already?!?” You sighed, “Coming dad!” You looked back to Danny, who pocketed the scan carefully and took your hand again “Don’t be gone too long. I don’t think I can take being away from you again...” “Well, will you at least walk me to the car?” “What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t?” He held out his arm for you to loop yours through “Let’s take the long way ‘round, so I can keep you to myself just a little longer...” You were only too happy to oblige a long slow walk around the back of the house. But even now smart-mouthed quick-witted Danny was quiet ... thoughtful. Content to be in your presence but with his own thoughts, until the glint of gold around your neck caught his eye... He reached out, catching the fine gold chain between his fingers. He pulled until the tiny “D” at the end revealed itself from under your clothing.  “You’re still wearing this?!” “Still?” You had to pull yourself closer to him as he inspected the charm, “I don’t think I’ve ever taken it off.” It might not have cost him a lot, heck it might even have been a joke, but it’s sentimental value to you could not have been understated. Beyond the initial, everything from the weight, to length of the chain meant he knew you and the jewellery you wore. He’d thought about it. Yes, Danny had... You’d never been willing to buy into anything the Rayburn’s had ever told you about him and you knew you never would. From the second you’d walked into his apartment you felt you’d known this man better than they ever would. Danny all but let you go as you rounded the front of the house. Noticing how ‘protective big brother’ John studied you both carefully as he walked you to the car your parents were now in. You were surprised your dad wasn’t jokingly tapping his watch from inside. You turned back to Danny as you got to the door. “Promise me, you’ll come back.” “If you promise me you’ll stay here longer than ONE NIGHT I will promise you anything...” “Okay, well, I’ll look into it when I get home... and I promise...” “Call me. When you get back, I want to know everything. Tell Nolan, he’ll like it.” You weren’t convinced how Nolan would react to having a much younger half-sibling... but you trusted Danny’s judgement, Nolan was a good kid. “I will. Tell him...” you opened the door “And, call you. I’ll call you.” “Yeah well, there was a time I had to be VERY persuasive about that!” “What like 3 years ago? Danny c’mon!” “Oh, I’m not saying I’m not glad!” You laughed “Whatever you say! I’ll call, I promise. Take care, okay? You know I worry!” “Hell, I know...” You hopped into the car, allowing your parents to shout their goodbyes back at him; “See you around Danny!” “Have a good trip back Jack! Maria!” you rolled your eyes and belted yourself in; “I’ll see you soon.” “Sure! We’ll figure it out...” “Yeah... Goodbye Danny!” He closed the door for you “I miss you already.” And he was quite serious, backing away from the car with a sad smile and a wave as your dad started the engine. Your dad put the car in drive and wound down all the windows so you could wave and say goodbye as you accelerated down the drive way. “You okay?” He watched you through the mirror. For a moment you had a smile on your face, but then you shook your head and you felt yourself well up again, you bit your lip... Damn, you thought you missed him before... The Rayburn clan headed inside, but not Danny. His mind was racing as he watched your parents car roll away. He wanted to watch until he couldn’t see it anymore. But he was thinking a million different things about the baby. How could he not see you through all of that? The next 8 or so months were crucial and he was all but stuck here, but he couldn’t tell you that. He couldn’t head back to Miami, he had too much going on here that he needed to do... He took a deep breath again... And then he started running. “Dios Mio!” Your father slowed the car and you wondered what he was doing until you heard it over the sound of the slowing engine  “Hey!! Heyyy!! Wait a minute!!!” Your mom started laughing and you turned around in your seat.  “Stop the car!! Wait!!!” You knew if you were still crying it was happy tears, as you unbelted yourself and couldn’t scramble to open the door fast enough. You were just about out as he caught up, slowing his sprint he grabbed you into a hug, tight to him, he lifted you from the ground and spun you gently, you were once again lost in his embrace. One arm strong and protective around you he stooped just a little and kissed you. And you realised that it was your first kiss in months as you wound your arms around his neck. It was a long kiss, worth it, but not nearly long enough. When he finally let your lips go, he breathed out; “Devan.” “Devan?” “Our baby. Devan... with an a.” “Devan?” You repeated, happier; “I like that...”

*** Miami, Your Apartment, Early AM

It was late. Extremely late. So late it was also extremely early. Your phone buzzed on the night stand, you were curious enough, and hadn’t been sleeping too well. You picked it up and squinted; Danny??? Then sat bolt upright DANNY!!!

You slid your finger across the screen to answer; “Babe!” Your voice probably couldn’t have sounded happier, which was weird because you were actually worried that he was calling you at this time. “What’s up? What’s wrong?” You decided it would probably be the latter. Danny called you almost every day, but it was always at a reasonable time... “Hey... Y/N... I uh.... This is gonna sound crazy... I’m… about a half hour or so out from Miami... I was just wondering if you could pick me up?” You couldn’t answer him fast enough “Yes! Oh my god! Of course, are you coming home!?” You threw the phone on loud speaker and began pulling clothes out of your dresser. “Kinda. I mean, John has... essentially sent me back...” He didn’t exactly sound happy about it “... But uh... Yeah, I’ll be coming to the bus stop. So, I’ll be home.” You didn’t care, selfishly, if he was happy or not. You couldn’t get ready fast enough. “Okay, okay... Baby, I’ll be there. See you soon! I can’t wait to see you!” His laugh was soft “I can’t wait to see you either...”

 You were waiting at the bus stop in loose fitting jeans and a t-shirt, cropped leather jacket around your shoulders to keep the chill off. He stepped off that bus and your heart leapt. He smiled as soon as he saw you and his slow walk turned to a run. He gathered you in his arms; he was back, Danny was finally back where he really belonged. You gathered fistfuls of his shirt as you attempted to pull him closer to you. You needed this, you needed him. Back here. “How are you?” He mumbled into your neck, swaying you gently in his arms. “I’m okay. Things are going well! How are you?” “Yeah. It’s... Good to be back...” You weren’t sure if he was just making it sound genuine, but you would take what you could get. Pulling away from you and holding your shoulders, he studied your face, you couldn’t keep your smile at bay. You had feared you would cry with joy, you were glad to see that hadn’t happened. His hands slid to your stomach; “How’s our baby?” You laughed, loving that he said our, “Devan is fine. All the scans are going well... Healthy... No problems...” you placed your hands over his; “You just need to be here now..!” He smiled at that “Devan, is that what we’re really going for?” “Your idea... Plus it doesn’t have a gender yet, and, I don’t really want to find out...” “Okay...” He knelt down “Devan it is...” He placed his forehead gently to your stomach; “Can you feel anything yet?” “They say 16 to 22 weeks until you can feel the movements, later for kicks... I mean, it’s moving as normal...” “When is your next scan?” You knew he would ask. Danny wanted to model himself as a present father. He wanted to see his second child grow... “You can just go... y’know. I’ll book one tomorrow morning for this week... then you can ‘meet’ Devan for yourself...”

He piled into your car with his bag. He groaned; "Man I hate that bus ride..." "Why didn't you drive back?" "In that Chevy? Yeah I'd be lucky if it could run the full 4 hours..." He wasn't telling you something. You knew that. But you couldn't ask. He stretched and yawned; "No way I could sleep... I need a shower... Damn... It's gonna be good to be home." "Home?" You couldn't help but smile at that; "Yeah, baby, you are home..."

It might have been pretty early, but when Danny pulled you into that shower you couldn't refuse. There wasn't anything sexual about it, he just wanted to feel something. He needed your affection; after everything in the Keys, Danny just needed you... Letting the hot water run over his body he held you so close, nothing could possibly be too close. He ran his fingers gently over every part of you he could reach, committing you to memory, to his heart... savouring every little piece of you. Feeling the beat of your heart on his skin. But it wasn't just you anymore, you were carrying his unborn child. And Danny thought he'd loved you before. He traced your jaw line, your neck and your shoulders with his lips. But he wasn't the only one whose hands were wandering; you traced his chest, lingering over his heart for just a moment. You could fall asleep to that heartbeat, God you'd missed this. You'd missed him... Up over his arms, across his shoulders; your fingers dancing lightly but no less significantly over his left, Up his neck and into his hair, he pushed his face against yours and you claimed his lips. Resting his forehead against yours, he continued to let the water wash over him; "I love you..." You thought you caught it, faintly murmured. You closed your eyes and whispered; "Say it again..." "I love you..." And it was like hearing him say those words for the very first time.

 ***

 He was restless. He'd been here for four hours, and he already wanted to leave. There was no denying it to yourself. Sure, he held you close to him, you tucked safely into the curve he was making with his body. He ran his hands continuously over your stomach and he tried to get comfortable. But that was the problem. He continued to try to get comfortable. There were a million things going on in his head and you could almost hear his mind racing at a million miles an hour.

You must have eventually drifted off in his arms, because when you awoke it was almost daybreak. The sky was pale and watery. Danny was standing by the window, looking out over Miami as the sun bled into the sky and illuminated the glassy high-rises. You hated that you knew. Gathering your hands to your chest you entwined your fingers with the fine gold chain. Your heart ached. Because you knew. You had to let Danny go, again.

You watched him for way too long, letting these feelings roll around until you felt sick. If you forced him to stay here... He would never be happy. Not until he finished whatever he started. If you let him go... Then you didn't know what you would be letting him walk into. And with his baby on the way, that scared you. Eventually you sat up. "You want to leave... don't you..." He took a breath; when he turned back to you his eyes were guilty. "I don't know if I'm not through with the Keys... Or the Keys is not through with me..." You stood, and crossed to him; "You NEED to go back." You took him in your arms... "Danny. You will never be happy here. With me... with Nolan... with our baby... if you don't finish whatever it is that’s weighing on your mind." "...Y/N..." "I don't… WANT… you to leave. But I can't keep you here if you are going to be like this... I can't make you stay..." "John sent me back." His voice almost wavered as he left your eyes, tapping his fingers gently against your arm. "I don't CARE what your little brother did. Danny. I care about you..." You pulled back from him, "I want you back here more than anything... But I want you to want that too..." You walked back to pick up your clothes, and his, before turning back to him; "Get your things... I'll drive you back to the bus station." You smiled, "Maybe then I'll get my Danny back..."

 You walked hand in hand towards the bus. Danny almost laughed that the dress you had chosen to wear today was the same one you had worn when you'd first walked into his restaurant a little over 3 years ago. He turned, studying you, looking at how truly beautiful you were in the Miami sunrise. Was he really about to leave you all over again? He said the first thing he could think of; "Thank you."

It was so unbelievably sincere that your breath caught in your throat. You pulled him to you by the collar of his shirt; "You listen to me, Danny Rayburn. You get back to the Keys. You do what you gotta do. And you COME BACK to me. We will make things work up here, but I don't want to hear another excuse for you leavin' ever coming out of your mouth. You hear me?" You pulled him into a kiss, deep, exquisite. Savouring the taste of him on your tongue. "You come back to me." It was his turn to pull you into a kiss, each more passionate than the last. He let you go, breathless. You were always good at that. Taking his breath away. Flawless, no matter what. And that initial around your neck. You had always been his, and Danny realised, you would always be his... You would wait for him forever, and yet he quickly comprehended he didn't want to wait that long.

"I promise you. Darlin'. A few more days, and this will all be over... I'll be back in Miami before you know it." He winked "You're the best thing that’s ever happened to me... And you are never gonna realise how much I love you..." You smiled; "Maybe so. But God, Danny Rayburn... If you loved me half as much as I love you, you never would have left. Which is why you gotta go back..." You took his hands in yours and pushed them to your stomach "We will be waiting for you to get off that bus again." "I know..." He kissed you once more, "Alright Baby Girl..." He addressed your non-existent bump "Devan-! I'll see you real soon..." He smiled this time as he stepped backward towards the bus; "Y/N! Don't you dare ever go changin' on me Darlin'!!" You laughed "I won't. Don't you either...!" That made him laugh; "Unfortunately for you... I think I'm gettin' a little too old to change!" He winked, turning to hand over his ticket he stepped onto the bus, then stopped and ran back, gathering you into his arms he gave you one last kiss. And for the first time in your life you knew what they meant by fireworks, a million sparks went off in your head as he tipped your body, making that kiss last as long as he could "Y/N... I love you!" You smiled, hugging him close "Go! Get that bus! Hurry back... Daniel Rayburn. I can't live without you...!" "I know..." He kissed your forehead, then jogged back to the bus, apologetically. You smiled, walking down the side of the bus to where he decided to take a seat. He settled down in the window and took a deep breath, looking across to you. You kissed the tips of your fingers, and stretched your hand to touch the glass. He smiled, kissing the tips of his own, and pressing them to match yours against it. "I love you..." you mouthed it, as the bus started its engine. He shook his head, laughing; "Love you more..." He winked as you stepped back. You waved him off as it started rolling away, and this time, he looked at least a little happy as he waved back to you. This time, he'd promised to come back. And you held Danny at his word. You smiled, continuing to watch the bus until it rolled out of sight. You brushed the single tear from your cheek. And laughed. What was a few more days now? Compared to what you had been through?

 Next time you held Danny in your arms back here in Miami. He would be home. And it would be forever.

---

TELL ME. TELL ME IF YOU SAW THIS COMING OR YOU WERE SURPRISED!?! I NEED TO KNOW. NOW!!!!!

I mean if for any reason you look up the songs / lyrics before you read I suppose ‘It Takes A Man’ by Chris Young told you but...

@stcphstrange​ - Oh God... Tell me there’s more than 2 parts left...!! I’ma cry! 😭 @happyskywhale 

The whole “Devan” thing is not something I can easily explain. I’m sorry if you don’t like it...

Danny’s emotions @ All points in this fic.

#Danny Rayburn #Ben Mendelsohn #danny rayburn x reader #Danny Rayburn x You #Bloodline #Sway #Linzi Writes #so many feelings #Welcome Chris Young to the lyrics I'm using list #Please add your name #I JUST WANT DANNY TO BE HAPPY BUT IVE ONLY GOT TWO PARTS AND NOW I'M IN SHOW TERRITORY #WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF!??! #26 #Liliana

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 7: Misc. RL and Fandom Thoughts

Even though this week was only three days, it felt really long, I think in part because I was SO busy. I crossed the line from ‘busy enough that I don’t think about the time and the day flies by’ to ‘so busy and stressed and overwhelmed I feel like I can’t stand it, have I been at work my entire life???’ Today did go by fast because there were a lot of distractions, but still, glad for the weekend (again!).

I don’t know how up I am to taking on the insane heat this weekend, so I might mostly stay in and write...not totally sure yet. But I do want to get a lot of writing done (I know I say this every week, but it is always true).

I also brought Cabal home so I could read some more of it maybe. I really like it and I want to lose myself in it for longer than I can during my 1/2 hour lunch break at work. Also, I borrowed a nonfiction book about the U.S. government’s disaster plans that I am looking forward to reading, and I don’t like juggling more than 2 books at once.

I finally finished iZombie and am all caught up with S3. Quick, general reaction: it was fine, I liked it overall, but it wasn’t stellar like S2 was. There wasn’t enough movement, development, overarching plot. I think they underestimated their own skill in a way; you can do a lot in 13 episodes but I feel like the attitude was ‘we can’t top our 19 ep season with only 13 eps so why even bother.’

Mom and I have also started rewatching Mr. Robot in anticipation of S3 coming out in October. I forgot how much I missed this show. I feel like if you’re watching it, you have to immerse yourself in it to get the full effect--but if you immerse yourself in it too long or too deep it’s like literally not healthy. So you gotta pull back. But I’ve been pulled back for almost a year now so it’s worth another watch. I missed Elliot, but I missed the women even more. Every time I see Darlene, Shayla, or even Angela (who doesn’t really get interesting until S2), I get excited.

It’s semi-late but I want to watch a movie and uh I’m an adult who can watch a horror movie at 11:30 pm on a Friday night if she wants to, so there.

#the year 2017 #2017: fandom thoughts #2017: rl

[untoldmusicpromotion]

Before the Streetlights - somethingreal. EP + Interview

Before the Streetlights’ new EP somethingreal. is here… and it kind of changes everything!

1. Homesick 2. Houses 3. Forget You 4. Anchored And Torn 5. Deadweight

The Louisville, KY band has released their newest album somethingreal. Tyler Courtney (singer/songwriter), Josh Courtney (bass/programming), Tyler Pritchett (guitar/programming), and Zachary Schindler (percussion) have constructed 5 tracks with lyrics that are exceptionally florid and music that alone is moving. Their profound writing style is crucial to take note of. somethingreal. has undertones of questioning your life and embodies taking yourself from the mess of reality. There is immense creativity shown throughout and I can honestly say it is unlike any EP I’ve heard recently. The more you listen to it, the more brilliant it becomes.

I was lucky enough to receive a physical copy of somethingreal. The packaging is very sleek, and the outer sleeve slides off to reveal an overcast ocean/beachy setting; which is a running theme for the photo book (an important component to the album). You should experience this for yourselves, but what I will say is that it is designed to transport you somewhere. It unquestionably achieves that.

somethingreal. starts off with “Homesick”, and it quickly builds toward a strong introduction. Well-written with clear vocals that make this instantly gripping. Being in a low state generated by searching for and wanting a place with consistency and stability. “Homesick” is the type of song that you fall in love with; purely because it’s a deeply relatable concept surrounded by an upbeat melody. Did I passionately sing along? Uh, yeah. I found this to be the EP’s earworm.

“Houses” exudes a mirthless vibe, while allowing the presence of a stormy heaviness. There’s this idea that a home isn’t plainly the structure; it is what’s inside that counts. “Houses” represents the outer shell without having the comforting aspects. You may also feel a vast sense of dissatisfaction and tiring disappointment expressed effortlessly through each element. “Houses” is intense and packed tightly with raw emotion. I recommend paying close attention to the lyrics here; gives a greater understanding of what is being conveyed on the EP.

Switching to an intoxicating part of somethingreal., the title “Forget You” speaks for itself in that it emphasizes desperately trying to no longer remember haunting memories. A rather personal song that’ll surely resonate with many. I believe Josh Courtney’s answers in the interview below will give you an insight as to what the intent behind “Forget You” was. Leaning towards the rock side of Before the Streetlights, I was particularly impressed by the instrumentals.

After every rock track, it’s nice to slow it down a bit. That’s where “Anchored And Torn” comes in. Relatively laid back, it is sort of this slightly acoustic pop song with a complex message. It touches upon faith and restriction while reaching for freedom. I was pretty invested in “Anchored And Torn”, which isn’t surprising considering the way it draws you in and washes over.

The EP comes to an end with “Deadweight”. Full of catchy sounds and lines that’ll replay in your head for a while. The most prominent, “when love turns to hate you become deadweight”. A more straightforward track with an unexpected twist. I don’t want to spoil it for you… but wow. Gave me chills. The positioning of all 5 songs perfectly align to tell a rollercoaster of a story.

I asked Before the Streetlights a few questions about somethingreal. (answered by Josh Courtney):

The physical somethingreal. EP contains a photo book that you say is a main component of listening to the album. Why/how did you decide to include this?

The photos were taken by one of my good friends Kate Neal who did all of our previous album 'Westward' photos and artwork. We wanted to connect you to a world where the songs can make sense. I believe that music is a visual experience as much as it is a sonic experience. We always try to create an atmosphere with your music. So when we saw the photos for the album we knew that they, on their own, expressed the same feeling that we wanted to portray with the songs. The pictures connected with each individual song perfectly so we knew right then that we had to highlight that in some way. We made a cardboard sleeve for the album and put all relevant album info on that as well as blacking out the innermost two pages to put liners and such because we wanted the photos to speak for themselves and didn't want any writing to cover up the worlds. When you look at the photos I want you to be able to visualize yourself there doing whatever you want to be doing and the songs be the background music. It's in a way therapeutic because takes some sense of clearing your mind to be able to accomplish.

Can you explain the process of bringing these almost esoteric songs to life?

When our singer Tyler went out to Los Angeles to write for the album with our friend Mike Hart, we knew that we wanted the new songs to be somewhere from the heart and pulled directly from life experience. We also knew that there is so much more to the songs we wanted to write than just girls and wanting to get out of the town you're from. I didn't have much of an idea of where Tyler was going to take these songs when he went out to write them but I had heard the demo for Anchored and Torn and knew that our songs were going to go in the direction that they ultimately did. These songs are so esoteric because they came from such a personal realm of Tyler and my life. They touch on the confusion and apathy that an unstable homelife created by divorce, lies, and addiction can have on a someone and how the effects of that can last far longer than you can anticipate. The songs are for everyone, but I hope it finds people who are going through a point in their life where they feel anchored to a mindset or a place that they wish that they could get out of. I hope they know that we are right there with them. I am hoping that on the next album we can address the solutions to these problems but for now we just needed to shed light on the fact that those problems are real. 

Okay, let’s discuss the ending to “Deadweight”. What’s that about?

The ending to deadweight was originally just the sound of the rain fading out and then you hear us talking for a bit. I had the idea one day of having a song with an audio clip of Carl Sagan talking about god and the existence of one. So Tyler Pritchett (guitar) and I worked on that song for a while. We originally wanted to put it at the beginning of the album and intro the album with it but it would have given you a false sense of whats to come for the rest of the album so we added it to the end. Putting it at the set up the world of "whats to come". It's our cliffhanger to the album so I would expected the next album to be more like that. The final "hidden" track on the album is titled 'moonsounds.'. 

Ideally, what do you hope people take away from somethingreal.?

I think what we ultimately want people to take from somethingreal. is that we are growing and maturing as a band and that there is a lot more to us than just a pop/punk band from Louisville. Personally I hope that this album will set a tone in peoples minds that we don't want to be known for a genre but for an experience. What comes next will continue to be us experimenting with music and our abilities as song writers and musicians. I want people to know that they are not alone in their experiences, thoughts, and beliefs not matter what those are and that the healthiest way to cope and learn from your life experiences is to share them and express them through some sort of outlet. somethringreal. is the stepping stone to the experience of Before the Streetlights.  

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Alex Kilgore, Untold Music Promotion

#Before the Streetlights #somethingreal. #EP #music #review #new releases #Untold Music Promotion #UMP #UMPromo