#these dresses are some of my absolute favorites from the entire cartoon i LOVE these designs

[hypewinter]

Dick stared out at the snowy landscape past the window before turning back to his new baby brother. Danny was sitting in his high chair, happily munching away at some Cheerios. Looking at him now Dick thought back to how he had come to Wayne Manor just a few months prior.

Bruce had stormed into the Manor after coming back from a Justice League mission with a bundle in his hands. Dick who had stopped by the manor to steal food catch up with Alfred had been thoroughly thrown off by his father's open animosity. He could hardly recall the last time he'd seen Bruce this outwardly furious. The man's glare alone could rival Darkseid's omega beams. As Bruce sat down at the table, the two men finally got a good look at just what he was carrying. It was an infant. An infant who was fast asleep, his soft black hair falling over his eyes. Bruce quietly asked Alfred to prepare a room as well as all necessities needed for a baby. The old butler had immediately set off to just that.

Meanwhile Dick was quick to ask what had happened but Bruce didn't say. Even when the others gradually found what was happening and asked their own questions, he still refused to answer. Not even Alfred had been told where the baby had come from. The only information Bruce had offered up was that the baby's name was Danny and he would be staying at the Manor from now on. As for the rest of the details, he claimed he would tell them in due time. But Batman's "due time" was often too late to actually do anything about it so desperate for answers, the family had turned to their own investigations only to come up with nothing.

All files related to Danny were locked behind a mountain of firewalls and Oracle had apparently already been sworn to secrecy by the big man himself. Whatever it was, Bruce wanted absolutely zero interference, so for now, the family was forced to sit in their hands.

That led till now, 5 months later. It was mid-January and Dick was on babysitting duty. Everyone else was either out running errands or on a mission. Not that Dick minded though. Danny was incredibly cute and he loved taking care of him. Besides, it gave him the perfect opportunity to get Danny to see him as the favorite brother. Still, Dick couldn't help but feel couped up today. Maybe it was because it had been snowing the last few days leaving both boys alone in the giant manor all day long.

Dick stared wistfully out the window once again before an idea dawned on him. He turned back to Danny who had stuffed the last of the Cheerios into his mouth along with his entire hand.

"Hey Danny. Wanna have a snow day?" he asked cheerily. The boy cocked his head at Dick, hand still in mouth. Dick smiled wider. "I'll take that as a yes!"

Dick hoisted Danny out of his high chair and carried him upstairs to his room. After he set Danny down in his crib, he grabbed all the gear he needed. He picked out a long sleeve shirt with a cartoon star and big bold letters reading "You're a Star!" He also grabbed long socks, some elastic pants as well as jeans, a scarf, a blue beanie, and a pair of cute little mittens.

It didn't take long for Danny to be fully dressed for the outside elements. Though after Dick finished putting his shoes on, he squirmed a little and made a face.

"I know I know," Dick cooed. "But I'm pretty sure B. would make an exception to his 'no killing rule' if you got sick on my watch."

Dick admired his handy work for a minute (taking dozens of pictures as he did so) before picking his brother up and heading downstairs. After a quick pitstop at the door to grab his own jacket and gloves from the coat rack, he opened the door and greeted the chilly air outside.

Danny giggled as he reached up at the snow while Dick circled around to the side of the manor.

"Bitey! Bitey!" he squealed.

"Yep, Bitey," Dick replied with mild confusion.

Danny would say random things like that sometimes, forcing the world's greatest detectives to put their minds together in order to figure out what he was talking about. One time he just wouldn't stop saying "Em". It took everyone a whole day to realize he was referring to music. And an extra two days to figure out he was specifically referring to pop music.

Oftentimes he would call Barbara "Jazzy" and Duke "Tuck". On occasion he would even call Cass "Sammy". Every time he called something a new name, it was a race to figure out what he meant. Each time they figured out a new word, Bruce's face would darken and he'd disappear off to the Watchtower for the day. Something that was really starting to drag on Dick's nerves. It was like it was physically impossible for that man to share information.

Dick was startled out of his thoughts by a tug at his jacket and looked down to see Danny staring at him.

"Sorry sorry," he said with a smile. "Lost in my thoughts. Forgive me?"

Danny put on a pout but Dick knew by now that it was fake. One could tell by the mischievous look in the boy's eyes that he just couldn't hide. "So be it then!" Dick declared before pulling Danny close and snuggling into him. The boy shrieked as cold nose touched warm neck. "Fo-give! Fo-give!" he cried.

"Aw thanks," Dick said as he pulled away. Danny giggled again, his bright blue eyes crinkling with laughter.

The pair walked around in the snow for a bit longer before Danny started making grabby hands towards the ground. "You want down?" Dick asked. Danny nodded energetically.

"Alright."

Dick carefully set Danny down in the snow. The boy excitedly wriggled before putting his hands down to the snow. As Dick watched, there was a burst of light and suddenly there was a semi circle of ice, radiating out from their position. Dick stared at the ice in shock. Danny turned and blinked up at Dick, almost as if he were in shock too. But he very quickly went back to playing in the snow. Dick swallowed. Sure they all knew Danny had powers. It was pretty obvious when the third day there, he floated up to the ceiling. Still though, he highly doubted ice powers was up there on anyone's list of "abilities our new baby brother might manifest next."

Dick was so shocked all he could manage to utter was, "Huh. That's new."

#dp x dc #dc x dp #dpxdc #dcxdp #winter's tales

[agaypanic]

Hello! Would you write a (season five Michael Kelso scenario where he and reader broke up on good terms for some reason and they are still friends (but they still love each other) So say the group goes to some event with each other (like a dinner or something for a school event) and there’s live music and like an hour or so after being there Kelso Excuses himself to go the the “restroom” and a few minutes later he’s on stage embarrassing himself singing the readers favorite song to win them back and it’s just super awkward and stuff but he thinks it’s the best way because he’s Kelso 💀 thank you!!

Take a Chance on Me (Michael Kelso X Reader)

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Summary: Senior year had been full of ups and downs for the gang. After having to convince some of your friends, you all go to the last dance of the year. Your ex-boyfriend Michael Kelso has a secret plan to get you back.

***

It was just another day in Eric Forman’s basement. Everyone sat in their unassigned assigned spots watching cartoons, wondering what to do for the weekend.

“We could go to the Hub,” Eric suggested, absentmindedly playing with Donna’s hair.

“Nah, we go there too much,” Hyde said. He tapped a random beat with his foot, trying to think. “We could go to the drive-in.”

“We have no money.” Fez countered. It was true; besides Jackie, the group was pretty broke.

“And all the movies there suck anyway,” Donna added.

“We could go to Spring Fling.” Kelso shrugged like he didn’t care about his own idea.

“Ew, I don’t wanna go to a stupid dance,” Hyde said with a sneer. You lit up, thinking about Kelso’s suggestion.

“You know, I bet it wouldn’t be that bad. It might be fun.” The others didn’t look too convinced. “Come on, guys. Spring Fling is the last event of the school year; we should go!” Jackie gasped, suddenly interested in the conversation. She turned in Hyde’s lap to face him, arms hooking around his neck.

“Oh, please, Steven, let’s go!”

“No, I don’t wanna.”

“Please.”

“Jackie, I don’t wanna go to a stupid dance.” Jackie pouted, staring down at him. After a moment, he broke, letting out a long sigh. “Fine.” She clapped with glee.

“See, guys, if Hyde’s gonna go, then it can’t be that bad.” You said. After a minute of thought, everyone agreed. Jackie jumped from Hyde’s lap, grabbing your and Donna’s wrists.

“Come on! You guys gotta help me pick out what to wear!”

***

After looking through her closet, Jackie decided she didn’t like any of her clothes enough to wear to Spring Fling. So the three of you loaded into your car and went to the mall.

“Oh my gosh, Y/n, you should get this. It’s totally your color.” Jackie said, holding a dress up to your view.

“Jackie, we’re here because you wanted to shop.” 

“I know, but it’s so cute.” She held the dress against your body, and even though you didn’t necessarily need it, you did agree. “Michael would absolutely die.” You immediately pushed the dress away.

“No, he wouldn’t.”

“Yes, he would,” Donna interjected. “The entire ride to and from California, all he did was talk about you.” Now that surprised you.

Before he and Donna ran away to California in the summer, you and Michael Kelso had been dating for almost two years. But you had accidentally scared him off from talks of the future, your future together in particular. It broke your heart when he left without even a note. But miraculously, when he and Donna were brought back by Eric, you two remained good friends.

So the fact that the man who was supposed to love you and then abandoned you apparently only thought about you when he was gone was utterly baffling.

“Well, either way, I don’t care.” You responded. But you did care. And Donna and Jackie knew it too. Jackie held the dress to you again.

“At least try it on, Y/n. You’d look hot.” 

“Fine.” You yanked the hanger out of her hand and stalked off to the fitting rooms. “But I’m not doing it for Kelso!”

***

You didn’t try the dress on for him, but Kelso was definitely part of the reason why you bought it. You and the girls got ready at your house while you waited for the guys to come pick you up. Part of you wanted to just go in your own car and meet them at the dance, but everyone insisted they go together.

A few honks alerted you and the girls that the boys were in the driveway waiting. You all rushed down the stairs and walked out to see Kelso’s van. He rolled down the window, sticking his head out.

“Y/n, you can come sit up front.” Jackie and Donna smirked, pushing you toward the front while they went to sit in the back. Kelso reached over to open the door for you, and you climbed in. Music played as he drove, everyone talking in the back. “You look pretty.” You were taken off guard by how shy he sounded. He glanced at you, borderline staring whenever you were at a stoplight.

“Thanks.” You looked at him, clearing your throat. “You look pretty too.” You wanted to slap yourself. You tried to compliment him back but didn’t know what to say. Before you could correct yourself, he grinned. He grinned the way he did when you complimented him when you were dating, equally shy and prideful from your attention.

“Thanks.”

The gym was filled by the time you got to the school. You were honestly surprised that this many people had come to a school event that wasn’t prom. But it seemed like everyone was having fun, especially with the live music. It seemed to be a group of underclassmen that didn’t have anything better to do.

“When can we leave?” Hyde immediately asked. Jackie slapped his arm, telling him to behave.

“We can’t leave yet hide.” Fez rolled his eyes as if Hyde had forgotten an important part of the night that would be happening at this dance. “We have to stay for when Kelso-”

“Hey, Fez, there’s a snack table. Go nuts.” Kelso interrupted, pushing his friend away. The rest of the group dispersed, leaving you and Kelso to dance, which was really just shifting your weight from foot to foot in time to the music.

“What was Fez talking about?” You asked. Kelso laughed nervously, waving his hand.

“Oh, nothing. We gave him some chocolate before we left, and you know how he gets.” Sensing he didn’t want to talk about it anymore, you nodded and pointed behind him.

“I think I’m gonna get some punch.”

“I’ll go with you.”

Like a shadow, Kelso stayed close to you for the rest of the night. But not in a weird way. In fact, it comforted you that he was near you like he used to be. He only left you to go to the bathroom, so now you waited for him in the crowd of friends and strangers. You were talking to Donna about something when she nudged your shoulder and pointed behind you towards the makeshift stage. You turned around confused but soon became horrified.

Michael Kelso was standing on stage, staring at you while he adjusted the height on the microphone stand, and the band behind him started playing a familiar tune.

“I’d like to dedicate this song to Y/n L/n.” He announced quickly before he ran out of intro music. He then went on to sing Take a Chance on Me from ABBA, smiling dumbly at you the entire time. For some verses, he would do little dances or act out the lyrics. He wasn’t bad, but he wasn’t necessarily good either. Everyone laughed, including the gang, but he didn’t care.

While Michael sang, you were hit with a flood of memories. This song played on the jukebox during your first date at the Hub. He was so nervous, which made you giggly because he had never acted so scared around you. That night, he walked you home and kissed you at the door; the rest was history.

It was a history that you wanted to keep buried. He had left you because he was scared about having a future with you, throwing away the good years between you when he ran to California.

But along with that history was your love for Michael Kelso. And everything was starting to come up to the surface.

Suddenly, he was standing in front of you. The song was over, and the band was now playing something else, distracting everyone around you, so you could only focus on each other.

“I want you back.” The statement hit you like a ton of bricks as if he hadn’t just dedicated a serenation to you of what you considered to be your song. “Please, Y/n. I want another chance.”

“You left me.” You don’t know why you said that. You wanted to say, ‘Yes, Michael Kelso, I’ll give you another chance because I never stopped loving you.’ But you guessed that your brain overrode your heart because it was supposed to know better.

“I know.” He sounded so sad and full of regret. “I freaked out.”

“You ran over 2,000 miles away.”

“I know.” Kelso started to sound defeated, which broke your heart. “I, I was scared. I didn’t think I was ready for anything after graduation. So when you started talking about life after high school, I realized I had no idea what to do.”

“Micah, please tell me there’s a ‘but.’” Calling him by the nickname only you would call him felt so natural, and he almost melted at the name like he used to. But he had to focus.

“But, when I was in California, I would try thinking about what I wanted to do if and when I came back to Point Place. And every time I had an idea, you were there. Every single time.”

You were speechless. In all the years you had known Michael, he was never this articulate or romantically outspoken with his feelings. Based on your expression, he knew you didn’t know what to say but would allow him to keep talking. So he did.

“I’m not going anywhere this time. I swear. I’ll get on my knees and beg you if I have to, Y/n. Please, all I need is one more chance.” He started to get nervous because you were still silent. You just stared at him. “Say something.”

“Okay.” It was quiet, and he shouldn’t have been able to catch it because of how loud and crowded the gym was, but he did. He grinned.

“Okay?” You nodded in confirmation.

“Okay.” You stood on your toes and threw yourself on him, arms around his neck and head buried in his shoulder. On instinct, Kelso wrapped his arms around your waist, slightly lifting you off the ground. You pulled your head up to look at him, noses bumping. “But just one chance.”

“That’s all I need, Baby.” He leaned forward and kissed you while you still dangled in the air. Your friends were probably freaking out at the sight, and other Spring Fling participants probably wished you would move because you were borderline making out on the dance floor. But none of that mattered. In your head, it was just you, Michael Kelso, and a new chance.

#michael kelso x reader #michael kelso #that 70s show #that 70s show x reader #agaypanic

[cloudiyum]

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed of course

2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? Yes I doo, I want to donate them to homeless shelters.

3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Tucked in, I love being tucked

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No but I've stolen many a cone

5: Do you like to use post-it notes? I do at work

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? I don't come across any coupons in my life right now

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? BEAR. ABSOLUTELY A BEAR. I would gladly be mauled to death

8: Do you have freckles? Not freckles but "beauty spots" as my mum calls them

9: Do you always smile for pictures? Nooo I tend to avoid that cuz my lips turn into 2 dimensional objects

10: What is your biggest pet peeve? Untidyness. Leaving the babywipe lid open. Dirty fridges.

11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? No I don't!

12: Have you ever peed in the woods? Yeeees

13: What about pooped in the woods? No I once went camping for a week and didn't need to because my body knew It'd have to be in a hole.

14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? Not really, maybe if I'm eating rly tasty food

15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? Nope

16: How many people have you slept with this week? Zero the fuck

17: What size is your bed? Queen.. slay

18: What is your Song of the week? LIKE A GIRL DOES PEACH PRC

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Absofuckinglutely. I'd love my Henry to dye his hair pink if he would

20: Do you still watch cartoons? Not really but family guy yes

21: Whats your least favorite movie? OMG. DUNE!! FUCK DUNE. my god. worst/boring movie I've ever seen in my entire life.

22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Bury? In dirt.. what else can you bury treasure in?

23: If you’re a girl, bra size? If you’re a guy, pants size? 10D I think, last time I got sized was when I was 14

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Mustard or Sweet and Sour sauce. Mostly nothing though

25: What is your favorite food? Salmon Sashimi <3 <3 <3

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? TWILIGHT <3 <3 <3

27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? My Henry on the 7th November 2023

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? I did scouts when I was like 8 or 9 and met this cute girl named Chloe and we were such good friends at camp. I think she gave me one of her lip glosses or something. I wish I could find her again

29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Only if my nips n bits were covered with an emoji or something

30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? I don't remember but it definitely would've been to henry. Or today to pippa for work

31: Can you change the oil on a car? Nope but I can fill my tires with air :)

32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Only once I think

33: Ever ran out of gas? Never I would die

34: Favorite kind of sandwich? Banana & Honey or Cucumber & Salt <3 <3

35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? Bacon, egg & bbq sauce toasted sandwich or poached eggs on toast

36: What is your usual bedtime? I aim for 10:30 but sometimes its midnight

37: Are you lazy? No, I value my well deserved resting time

38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? :( I wasn't allowed

39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? Ox I think

40: Are you horny? No I am not, that is very rare

41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Nope

42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? the fuck are lincoln logs

43: Are you stubborn? Noo my mind can be changed very easily

44: Who is better…Leno or Letterman? Crystal meth santa claus <3

45: Ever watch soap operas? I like the big bang theory sue me

46: Are you afraid of heights? I would say not

47: Do you sing in the car? YEA I DO VERRRRY LOUDLY

48: Do you sing in the shower? On occasion

49: Do you dance in the car? I wiggle

50: Ever used a gun? Nooo

51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? When I was 9 years old

52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? Some of them.

53: Is Christmas stressful? Not really

54: Ever eat a pierogi? Yess with Henry & Greg in San Francisco <3

55: Favorite type of fruit pie? Cherry or blueberry

56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? A cleaner only cuz mum once said they get paid a lot HAHA

57: Do you believe in ghosts? Yea friendly ones only

58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? I have a specific scenario I see every time I get it. I'm swinging back on the blue classroom chair in my year 7 classroom. The big windows are to the left and I'm at the front left of my class. I think Mrs Ralph or the other one was teaching. Every time.

59: Take a vitamin daily? No but I would if the gummies weren't so expensive and had enough nutrition in them

60: Wear slippers? no

61: Wear a bath robe? nono makes me look like an idiot

62: What do you wear to bed? The only thing I want to wear to bed for the rest of my life is the avocado toast oodie sleeping shirt that henry got me. It's so fucking ridiculously comfortable you have no idea

63: First concert? Die Antwoord in 2015 but if that doesn't count then apparently mum took me to see Hi-5 when I was little, I don't remember it tho

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Walmart if I'm in America, but in Australia I like Kmart for everything and Target for clothes and socks

65: Nike or Adidas? I don't really give a fuck to be honest but Nike aesthetic is more pleasing to me

66: Cheetos Or Fritos? I've never had fritos but I enjoy flamin hot cheetos

67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Neither, those textures are off putting to me. Too gritty

68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? No is that French?

69: Ever take dance lessons? Yeees I did, at Denise Hollins Dance Company. I started when I was 3 or 4 and did Teddy Bears Picnic. I stopped and didn't start again til I was 8 turning 9. 2006 Jazz (I want Candy & Footloose) (Must've skipped 2007) 2008 - Tap (Here It Goes Again & Jump n Jive) Jazz (Moving thru Time & Get Up and Dance) Acrobats (Jump Shout Boogie) Finale (Move Shake Drop) 2009 - Jazz (Backstreets Back & Hocus Pocus) Intermediate Acrobats (Batman) Finale (Zombie) 2010 - (my last year forever) Advanced Acrobats - Gold :)

70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? I picture Henry as a professional DJ <3

71: Can you curl your tongue? YA

72: Ever won a spelling bee? We don't have those here

73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Nooop

74: Own any record albums? A thank u next single and peach prc

75: Own a record player? nope

76: Regularly burn incense? Occasionally

77: Ever been in love? yessss henry

78: Who would you like to see in concert? ARIANA GRANDE

79: What was the last concert you saw? Peach PRC <3

80: Hot tea or cold tea? Cold!

81: Tea or coffee? I like the taste of tea better but I like the effects of coffee

82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? Don't know what that is

83: Can you swim well? Very well, I won champion girl at my primary school once

84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Of course.. I don't think anyone can't do this

85: Are you patient? I try to be yes

86: DJ or band, at a wedding? hmmmmmmm dj

87: Ever won a contest? Not a contest but a wax kit and some free goodies from norris for guessing the correct number hehe

88: Ever have plastic surgery? Nope only lip fillers 4 times. Dissolves way too quick for me tho

89: Which are better black or green olives? omg fuck I love both so much. my fave is marinated green olives

90: Can you knit or crochet? I do not

91: Best room for a fireplace? Living room I guess

92: Do you want to get married? I am :) already. married. hehe

93: If married, how long have you been married? um one month and four days

94: Who was your HS crush? Luke Ramljak <3

95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? No that doesn't work

96: Do you have kids? I do not

97: Do you want kids? I think so. I'm very undecided still. Blairs so cute and I don't think my baby will be that cute hahaha

98: Whats your favorite color? Pppppink duh

99: Do you miss anyone right now? henry henry and henry even tho its only been 11 days

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #074

Have you ever watched the sunrise? I have, more than once. What about the sunset? Yeup. Name a band that you think is beyond overrated: Uh, I gotta be honest, I REALLY don't know what's "in" these days. What’s your favorite sea creature? I visually REALLY like jellyfish, but as animals, I think sea turtles and whales are just fascinating. What’s your favorite acoustic song? Off the top of my head, "If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn" by Sleeping With Sirens. I actually don't really like the original, but the acoustic is magical and is absolutely one of those songs I've considered for my wedding.

Have you ever been inside a castle? I FEEL like I've been in the Disney World castle, but if that, that's it. I'd like to visit a real one one day. Do you own any pets? Types? Names? A gray and white cat named Roman that is some domestic shorthair mix, a champagne morph ball python named Venus, and Mom has a chihuahua named Cookie. What’s the worst illness that you’ve ever had? I guess technically Covid. As far as FEELING goes though, I suffered worst of all with a WICKED stomach virus I got sometime as a teenager. I would NOT stop throwing up, to the point barely even bile would come out. Is your best friend in love with someone? Meeeee. :') How many times have you sworn at your parents? AT them, I'm not sure, but I know I've told my mother "fuck you" once. THAT was a bad night. I would not be even remotely surprised if I called my dad awful things in the letter I wrote him after he abandoned the family. I hope I didn't, but... I did NOT think well of him for years after he just ditched us. Most interesting place you’ve ever visited? Uhhhh perhaps the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. It really sucks, I was just a little kid and dealing with HORRIFIC constipation to where I was just like crying the entire visit, so I didn't really get to enjoy it. I'd really like to revisit now as an adult. Have you ever had anything tailored? I know at least one prom dress was. Do your shoulder blades protrude? Ha, I wish. Prominent shoulder blades are UNREASONABLY hot to me lmao. Are you gonna French kiss your hubby at your wedding? Uh, no. That's not something I would publicly do. Who is the last person you held hands with? Girt. :') Have you ever felt free after losing something once important to you? SomeONE, yes. Have you ever been to a rave? No, that's not something I want to do. Have you ever been in a shrubbery maze? No, I feel like being in one of those would stress me out. What is the highest outdoor temperature you’ve ever had to endure? At least over 110*F, I know. Makes me wanna fuckin die. And the lowest? Ummm... MAYBE just barely single digits? But I don't think we've ever gone below the teens since I've been alive, and teens are super rare here. Do you let your pets on your furniture? Absolutely. This is their house, too, and therefore also their furniture, too. Do you know what things your pet(s) prefers to eat? I don't pay attention to what Cookie eats because Mom feeds her, but I can tell you she is VERY picky, apparently. Roman eats mostly normal, dry cat food (I don't know what brand; I fill his bowl from a tub full of whatever it is that Mom gets), but he normally does get a small dose of wet food in the morning, too, which he absolutely prefers. He sometimes just eats it too fast and hurls it back up, slskdjalsdkjfqwe. Venus is pretty darn easy, being a snake: she gets frozen/thawed medium-sized rats. What does your wallet look like? It's a really cool red, white, and black Harley Quinn design, in her cartoon style. Tell me about the last book you read. I'm currently reading Wings of Fire: Winter Turning; the WoF books tend to be VERY packed with plot twists and surprises, but I can tell you the main plot in this one follows a dragon named Winter trying to rescue his imprisoned brother while also trying to prevent his sister from killing the queen of a certain tribe to earn ANOTHER queen's favor, but it would cause war to erupt again without a doubt. There are lots more details, but that's like, the skeletal build of the primary plot. Who was the last person to leave you flustered? This might be TMI but Girt was trying to Cause Trouble with his family RIGHT IN THE NEXT ROOM when I was there on his birthday and "flustered" was one way to describe me LMAOOOOOO What are some bands others would be surprised to find in your music library? Ha ha I genuinely have a lot of Melanie Martinez and Jeffree Star on my iPod lmfaooooo How do you feel about kettle cooked chips? GROSS. Tell me something about yourself that you’re most proud of. Graduating in the top percentile of my graduating class in high school. I can literally see the plaque I got from the celebration dinner from where I'm sitting. I was smart ONCE upon a time... What do you like to dunk in your coffee, if anything? I don't drink coffee. What’s your favorite Elvis song? Probably "You're The Devil in Disguise." Would you rather see someone of the opposite sex naked or nicely dressed? I've mentioned this before, so even though I'm still into men sexually, penises themselves visually GROSS ME OUT so I'd definitely purely nicely dressed. What is the last thing you wrote down? I wrote my name on the sign-in thing at the doctor's office where I get my B-12 shots. Do you know of any home remedies that work surprisingly well? Uhhh maybe? Idk. What’s something you’ve never been able to live down? My mom recently told Girt's family the story of how I got upset when I tried orange juice with pulp in it and I complained "it has nipples in it!" when Mom asked why I didn't like it and they all couldn't fuckin breathe and I'm like idk man, my brain's been off since I came out my mama. 😭 Which of your friends has the coolest siblings? Honestly, probably Girt, ha ha. Ashley is SUPER fuckin cool, she rocks pure magenta curly hair while allowing her 10 y/o son to flaunt blue, ha ha. You don't really see parents willing to let their kid do that around here; I really respect her for letting her son express himself in such harmless ways. HAHA OH his birthday party is actually this weekend and his theme is fucking classic horror movie characters, it's great. HE IS TURNING TEN, Y'ALL. Does orange sherbet sound good right now? No, but I could actually definitely go for some pink/strawberry sherbet. Would black hair look good or bad on you? I've had black hair, and I liked it. Is there any song that makes you think of your dad? Any Van Halen song, because they're his favorite. Have you had any really bad experiences while plucking your eyebrows? In high school I actually had this really bad habit where I'd pluck my eyebrows out with my fingers alone when I was bored or thinking too much, and it once got so bad I nearly COMPLETELY destroyed one eyebrow, and the other was super fucked up too. I was majorly embarrassed. Have you ever read The Outsiders? I sure did, it was required in I wanna say 8th grade. It's one of my favorite books ever, even though I like... no longer remember the plot lmao I just remember I LOVED it. Have you ever taken a picture of you kissing someone? Yes, but those pictures don't exist anymore. What is the youngest age you can remember back to? Somewhere around three I think; I remember watching my brother go down the slide in our front yard into the fucking flood Hurricane Floyd left lmaoooo. What job would you NEVER take, even as a last resort? Butcher. FUCK no. Can you crack your neck? No but fucking Girt does a lot and it is LOUD and actually makes me scream alskdfjalwkejq What is the last thing you drank? I have strawberry-flavored sparkling water right now. Will this weekend be a good one? Probably; I'm going with Girt's family to a trampoline park for his nephew's b-day party. <3 Have you ever swam in the ocean? Yes, I LOVE doing that, save for feeling all gross and salty afterwards. Have you ever played in a waterfall? No, but that sounds like an ACTUAL dream. In your life who has meant the most to you? My mom. The psychiatrist I saw after my suicide attempt that completely changed my life (I'm still upset my insurance isn't compatible with him...). Teddy, Roman. Jason, once upon a time. Girt. What has been your biggest failure in life? Literally don't get me fucking started, I am NOT going there. Who do you trust the most other than yourself? My mom. Do you trust yourself? Honestly? No. It was a recent topic in therapy how for a VERY long time, I'm talkin' years, I've second-guessed my own intentions. It's the most frustrating fucking thing in the world, wondering if I did this and that for truly that reason, or this other bad one... if that makes any sense. I can't put into words how stressful the sensation is, questioning yourself and what you really want. Did you use tongue in your last kiss? Uh I suppose it's possible, we were alone in my room and Things Happened but idr if the last kiss before he left was like that. Do you have any alcohol bottles in your room? Nope. How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? I don't plan on having children. Safe sex, or no sex, correct? In my world, that's how it is. I am doing everything reasonable to absolutely never wind up pregnant. Which of the Pirates of the Caribbean was your favorite? I actually never watched those. Is your toothbrush manual or electric? Electric. Who was the last person to come to your house? Girt. Have you ever had pink eye? Nope. Does your significant other have any piercings? Nope. What is the last song you listened to with “song” in the title? Uh, I want to say "Happy Song" by Bring Me The Horizon. Do you like Adam Sandler? Yeah, he's fine. When, where, and to whom did you lose your virginity? Haven't yet. How many band shirts do you own? Which? Oh jeez, so many. Ozzy, Metallica, Otep, Manson, Korn, NSP, and I know with certainty there's more. Last song you sang in the shower? I don't sing in the shower, so. Have you ever had anything pierced that you don’t have now? Yep: tongue, nostril, ear cartilage, and anti-tragus of my ear. Do you have any twins/multiples in your family? Are they identical or fraternal? I'm quite sure no. What is the highest number of jobs you’ve had at one time? No more than one. I could never, EVER, handle two jobs. Hell, I can't even manage one. Is your mom a good mom? My mom is the best mom in the entire fucking world. What are your parents’ and their grandchildren’s names? Donna and Ken. Grandchildren between the two of them include Delia, Dillon, Diana, Gene, Greyson, Victoria, Erika, Aria, Christian, Asher, Aubree, Ryder, and Emerson. My dad does have another daughter that I've never met/know almost absolutely nothing about, so hell if I know if she has kids or not. Do you know what high school your father went to? No; my father was born and raised in Ohio so no location there he's ever mentioned really sticks with me/holds any significance to me. Do you eat breakfast daily? Yes. What are you stressed out about? Right now that my cyst is definitely back; I'm not gonna get graphic but the hole this type of cyst forms has reformed and is draining super badly soooo now I have to go get this looked at... Do you currently have a hickey? No, Girt doesn't do those. Do you have a sensitive gag reflex? Yep, very. What do you think in general of girls with short hair? HOT!!!!!!!! How about guys with long hair? HOT!!!!!!!!!! Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances? Well yeah, I WOULD get an abortion if I was pregnant. There is no fucking way in heaven or hell I could raise a child right now and I am not offloading them onto someone else and being okay with it. What do you think of people who get abortions? It's none of my fucking business, nor is it the government's or really ANYONE'S besides the person with a baby in their fucking body. What was the last bug you killed? Probably an ant. If you could spend a year living in a foreign country, which would it be? Germany. Why did you make this particular choice? I'd just really like to visit there, but LIVING there would absolutely help me learn the language faster. What’s the longest you’ve ever been out of your state/province? Uhhhh... two weeks, I think? At LEAST two weeks, because I know that's how long I stayed with Sara one time. It's possible that I've stayed longer with Mom's family, but idr. Do you know anyone who has written a book? Well, I don't KNOW her, but a distant cousin wrote Not Without My Daughter. Do you drink milk/juice from the carton if no one is around? No, that shit really grosses me out. Has a member of the opposite sex ever given you jewelry? Yes. Have you ever been friends with a boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s siblings? Not really, no. Do you have any lingerie? Nah. What was the shortest amount of time you knew someone before dating them? However long Jason and I were "just friends." Just a few weeks. Which of your pets were you closest to in your lifetime? Teddy. Roman is very closely behind him. What last caused you jealousy? Do you think it was warranted? I don't want to talk about it. I don't know. What is your largest board on Pinterest? Probably my one full of fandom shit lmaoooo What was the name of the first guy/girl you dated? Aaron was the first person who ever had the "boyfriend" title. What was the name of the first guy/girl you want out on a date with? Like a one-on-one date, Jason. I know Aaron and I went to the skating rink once, but we were with friends. Have you ever had to go to a neurologist? I actually have an appointment with one coming up for my tremors, and also to check if my leg problems are actually a nerve-related issue (which I'm pretty much certain it's not). What's your favorite quote? I semi-recently saw a quote that said something like, "Don't put limits on your unlimited potential," and I loved it. I actually saved it in my phone. How many people do you know who work as hairdressers? List their names. At least two; the primary one my sisters and I (and sometimes Mom) see has a very unique name so I feel uncomfortable sharing it, and then my mom has another friend who likes to do hers named Anita. Have you ever filmed any TikToks? No, I don't even have an account. If you could meet any one YouTuber, which YouTuber would you choose to meet? Markiplier. Like, duh. Do you like the name Ellery? Ew, sorry but I don't at all. Reminds me of celery lmao. Which name do you like better: Felicity or Fiona? Both are beautiful, but I gotta go with Felicity. If you could join one dance class, which type of dance class do you think you'd most like to take? I LOVE modern-style dancing. I actually took modern when I DID do dance. I love how well it works with usually strange or more abstract music and REALLY tells a story. Does anyone in your family have diabetes? Diabetes runs severely through my family; my mom has it, as did her parents. I KNOW there are others, too.

#survey #surveys #random questions #random surveys

[kylejsugarman]

chipette character model sheets for the episode “mind over matterhorn”

#syd squeaks #these dresses are some of my absolute favorites from the entire cartoon i LOVE these designs #aatc #alvin and the chipmunks #the chipettes #model sheets

[lovesgonnabe]

Love Is Worth It - Mini Episode I: Happy Mothers Day

Characters: Chris Evans x Maya Alonso-Evans (Black OFC)

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, cursing,daddy kink, fake IG Post.

Word Count: IDK Yet(Soon)

Summary: What happens when there is a surprise on the Horizon?

AN/Disclaimer: There’s only slight edits so there may be errors. Also if you haven’t noticed this series will have many time jump things referenced here may make more sense later on in the series when new episodes come out so please bear with me.

Taglist: @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss, @canadian-girl87, @i-just-like-fanfics, @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful​ if you would like to join the taglist let me know.

Please leave a note and tell me what you think!

May 9th, 2021

Boston was moving from chilly too warm with still more cold days than not. Boston at this time was beautiful even The Evans home was littered with flowers. The beginning of 2021 has been eventful for the Evans Family.

Chris's A Starting Point has taken off like no one had expected, doing incredible number in educating a whole generation on one of Chris’s passions politics and the world.

While Maya within the few months has launched her skincare line Lavish Lilah Skin, and has been able to open back up her dermatology offices with the slowing down of the current devastating pandemic.

This Mothers Day for the family of 3 was different but the same at the same time.

Maya's Birthday has just passed, Chris filming schedule will pick up in the Summer and for the last year Delilah has been homeschooled.

With work picking up for the couple May 9th was a beautiful day for the Evans to just relax and be together as a family.

Its 9 am and Maya was sprawled in the middle of their California King Bed as Chris and Delilah were in the downstairs getting Maya's Mothers Day Gift ready.

"Ok Lilah you've got mommy's gifts and I've got the food you ready?" Chris asked with the tray in his hand.

Delilah nodded and they headed up the steps to the master bedroom the 5 year old ran up too the room first leaving Chris in her dust.

"Mom wake up its Mommy Day" Delilah said trying to climb the large bed.

Maya began to stir awake with a smirk on her face when she heard her baby girl struggle to to get up on the bed.

Delilah hooped on the outerman at the front of the bed and climbed to her mom laying up on Chris's said of the bed.

Delilah began to play with Maya's face.

"mommy get up me and daddy have gifs" Delilah said trying to open Maya's eyes with her little fingers.

Maya breaks out into a laugh now completely awake and pulling Delilah into a big hug kissing her all over the face.

When Chris walked in his two favorite girls were both laughing their heads off the sunlight in the room glowed on their golden skin as their smiling faces brought a bright smile to his.

"Are you two having fun without me" Chris asked as he walked to Maya's side of the bed.

Chris lays the tray on the night stand, pecking Maya on the lips mumbling a sweet Happy Mothers Day against her lips as he pulls her into a deeper kiss just enjoying the taste of her sinful lips.

When they pull away Maya moves over to make room for Chris in their large bed.

Delilah and Chris handed over the gifts to Maya, it wasn't a lot just some small things a card made by Maya from her zoom arts class, a mini breakfast in bed and more flowers *like she needed anymore*.

"Sweetheart I told you that you didn't have to do anything for me for Mothers Day especially everything you have done for me recently" Maya said taking sip from her coffee mug.

Chris chuckles thinking about the last few months, and he has been what you would call a rockstar husband.

With the pandemic Chris has been home a lot more he dropped a film he planned to star in and went full throttle on ASP which kept him home a lot making him kind of a stay home dad.

Chris did everything from some cooking to cleaning to school with Delilah. Him staying home was not only for him to do ASP and spend more time with his family but to let Maya work and bring her employess back so she can get her dermotobly practice back to as close to 100% as she can during a pandemic.

Not only that Chris hosted a surprise launch party/brithday party for Maya's new skincare venture in early April that was a small get together with all there closest friends and family (that were vaccinated). Even flying her parents who they haven’t seen in a year out to see them. (who were still in town and staying out in their guest home)

The three were still sitting in bed watching cartoons.

"My love if you thought today would go by and I would not celebrate you then you are out of your mind" Chris said kissing Maya's head.

The last four months have really shown Chris how much he admires Maya because everything he has been doing is what Maya has been doing since Dede was born.

So at least for today Chris was pulling out the red carpet for love of his life, after an hour of just lazying around Chris grabbed a now napping Delilah and told maya that she need to be dressed and ready to leave the house by 1pm which was 2 hours from the current time.

When 1pm hit the Evans and the Alonsos were out of the house and all in Maya's Truck.

They drove the 3 hours to the Alonso Family Estate in Martha's Vineyard and with Maya having absolutely no idea where they were going she grew antsy because unbeknownst to everyone in the car except her mother Maya was now Pregnant with her and Chris's second child and she was afraid she was going to have an accident in the car.

Maya was about 16 weeks how she has hide being pregnant from Chris for that long is a surprise and a miracle on its own.

However she just wanted to wait until she was absolutly sure that she could carry a complete trimester before telling anyone but her mom because her and Chris have tried 5 times after Delilah and has miscarred everytime.

All that faliure takes a toll not only on your body but on your psyche and she didn’t want to keep getting Chris's hopes up to keep failing him.

Even though he has been there through it all to hold her when she cries thinking about it or pick her up from the pool of blood in the middle of the night he was there holding her hand, but the of how many more times will he be able to do this with her still creeps in the back of Maya's mind.

Her mom's reassuring smile kept her calm while Chris and Maya held hands the entire ride up as they rolled up around 5pm to the estate that had multiply cars in the driveway.

When they walked in Maya's Brothers were both there along with Chris's parents, siblings and their kids.

Chris explained to Maya that with the kids out of school they all decided to being summer vacation a bit early.

As the night went on the all talked, laughed, ate good food and enjoyed each others company as one huge blended family.

It was coming up around 7pm it was golden hour outside and Maya knew for some reason it was time to tell Chris.

As Maya walked outside closet to the horses her mom followed.

"May baby cakes its time you can't live in fear forever" handing the ultrasound she kept in her purse and walking back into the house Maya took a deep breath as she sipped on her water and looked at sun hint the vinyard in the most majestic way.

"Maya you ok your mom wanted me to come and check in on you" Chris asked walking next to Maya who bit her lip which she did whenever she was nervous.

"Babe whats wrong" Chris knew something wasn't right the her body langague was and Chris could read his wife.

Maya tightly gripped the ultrasoud and turned toward Chris looking into his ocean blue eyes made her weak at the knees but she needed to focus.

She handed him the photo

"For the last 16 weeks or so I haven't found a way to tell that we are pregant and I guess this is it I am sorry I waited so long" Maya Says.

She smirks trying to keep it light hearted and Chris Smiles not even taking enough time to really process the new information with tears in his eye picking up Maya who squeals as he spins her around.

"I hope you know I knew already” he says putting her down leaving his arms around her waist.

"What do you mean you knew" Maya asked as her eyebrows frowned as she looked up at him.

"You underestimate how well I know your body" Chris says rubbing his hands up and down the curves of her body till her reached her ass giving it a good squeeze.

"Also you definitely did not hide this ultrasound that well so when I did first have hunch you had already confirmed it to me without even knowing it" Chris said.

He gave Maya his trademark smile and kissed his wife like his life depended on it.

"why didn’t you tell me you knew" she asked breaking the sweet embrace of the two lovers.

"the same reason you didn't I know that with you even though I hate it, some times I need to just watch from the sideline before you can put me in coach, but next time please do wait this long" Chris said.

Maya eyebrow raised "who said there will be a next time you better be lucky you are even getting 2 out of me sir" she said.

Chris laughs "thats what your mouth is saying now we will see what it says later when you riding papi's cock" He said kissing her lips even harder as they fought for domanice.

They knew both of there families were inside and thats why they stopped and just stood enjoying each others company.

"lets take a picture babe for memories" Chris said.

They pulled apart and Maya laughed .

"Chris look at you trying to take flicks for the gram" Maya said posing next to her favorite horse.

Chris took the picture and put it on his instagram along with a picture of Maya when she was pregnant with Delilah.

Chris laughed grapped her hand and they walked inside and told everyone the good news.

This will definaly be a Mothers Day they would never forget!

#chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x black ofc #chris evans x black!reader #chris evans x poc!reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans x black reader

[marshieee]

When they have an s/o who loves disney princesses.

Oikawa, kuroo, asahi, sugawara

A/N: yeah still head empty on my osamu fic and yes you might tell my favorite disney princess is our princess tiana💚 i would die to have a friend like lottie, sure she’s spoiled but she’s a true friend to tiana, their friendship is to die for and i love that! If ur lottie hmu😘

Oikawa

He knows that you love watching disney and don’t get me wrong he absolutely LOVED the fact that you do.

One time he gave you a ticket to disneyland as your birthday gift. And the way you were giggling like a child during your visit there was a pretty sight indeed

And how you dragged him to meet the princesses was absolutely adorable.

“They’re so pretty! They are right tooru?”

He would just hum and grab your hands.

“They are but you are pretty too y/n i think you’re qualified to be the next new disney princess”

You knew he’s like this and you still get flustered.

“Awww look my princess is blushing how cute”

“Shut up tooru!”

Kuroo

Ok having you, someone who’s obsessed with disney is a breath of fresh air and cuteness.

He did have kenma basically his whole life and it’s really hard to keep tabs on that boy since he did have a bit a toxic love in games.

“KENMA GO TO SLEEP WE HAVE A GAME TOMORROW!!”

Yeah that kind.

But you? No, hell no

You love disney princesses that you pick up their habit.

The one where you’re humming while doing something, yep that one you pick up that one.

So whenever kuroo catches you doing some chores at home and humming songs from the movies he think “all we need is animals and it’s done”

But he loves that and it’s kinda making his ego swell a bit, like come on think about it he got his very own DISNEY PRINCESS how could he not?

“Hey princess what you cooking?”

You stopped humming when you felt a pair of arms arou your waist.

“Katsudon!”

“Can you tell me what song were you humming this time”

“So this is love~”

Kuroo hummed the part of the song and sang with you.

“So this is love~”

“So this is what makes life divine~” “so this is what makes life divine~”

And the entire time you two were just singing and dancing in the kitchen like you two were in a ball.

Asahi

Ok when he knew the love you have for the disney princesses he was absolutely wrecked

THAT SHIT IS THE CUTEST THING OK?!

He never complains whenever you put on a disney princess movie if you two are having a movie marathon.

“What are we watching?”

“Sleeping beauty”

“Oh i like their song”

“I know right? It’s so catchy and i love it!”

While you two were watching you saw how pretty aurora’s dress is so you just kinda blurted out “wow i wish i had that kind of dress”

Of course asahi would hear that so without any second thought he said “i can make you one”

It’s not like you didn’t appreciated what he said but making gowns isn’t his forte so you giggled.

“Baby are you sure you can make one? I didn’t really mean what i said you know”

“You don’t know if you don’t try”

He was being serious so didn’t agrue you just gave him a kiss on the cheeks

“Do whatever you want”

Sugawara

Having to take care of kids he sure does have a lot of knowledge in cartoons

And having you as his s/o who basically knows a lot about disney, he now has a vast knowledge.

He adores how you still like disney despite your age, still giddy when you watch a movie together even though you saw it like a hundred times already

“I’m a sucker for a happy ending”

“Don’t worry I’ll make sure you’ll get married to Prince Charming one day”

You gasped “prince eric?!”

“Nooo meee!”

You’re a sucker for a romantic fantasy fairytale, and since this time and age balls aren’t a thing anymore it kinda saddens you.

As if you’ll get an invitation if there’s one.

So whenever you’re alone you put on some disney songs and dance like you’re in a ball.

Suga was finished checking some papers and as soon as he went out he saw you dancing with your eyes closed feeling the rhythm, swaying and twirling.

He watched you with a smile, GOD knows how much he loves you he can’t even contain the sight right infront of him.

And in a heartbeat he took your hands and swayed with you which surprised you.

“We can’t let a princess dance alone now can’t we?”

“My my prince don’t you have any manners? you should have asked my permission first”

He smirked “I’m not your normal Prince Charming your highness”

Reblogs are really appreciated

#haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #fluff #Haikyuu headcanons #sugawara #oikawa #kuroo #asahi #disney princess #reblogs are really appreciated🥺

[thevindicativevordan]

What are your thoughts on Batman?

Damn someone asked me about DC's most popular character (I was seriously wondering if I should even bother to make a post about him).

Obviously I have opinions, I don't think there's a single Superman fan out there who is wholly indifferent to this guy, you either love him or hate him. Or if you're a special snowflake like me, you do both at the same time. There's not really anything I can say that people don't know already about Batman, so I'll just offer my perspective.

Look I love Batman, I think he's cool as hell just like the rest of the world. I own a ton of his greatest comics hits in Omnibus and Absolute form. I own a lot of great Batman animated movies like Under the Red Hood and The Long Halloween. The Arkham games were something I spent a ton of time playing (all the while wishing there was a Superman equivalent admittedly) and enjoying. The Nolan Batman movies were some of the first superhero movies I ever saw, and I adored The Dark Knight completely. Animated cartoons like The Batman and Batman: The Brave and the Bold were my jam growing up, and the DCAU Batman played by Conroy absolutely lived up to the hype of being one of the GOAT Batmen when I finally sat down and watched the DCAU. There's a lot of great Batman content coming up that I'm excited for like Reeves The Batman movie and the Batman: The Caped Crusader cartoon.

If we define "GOAT" as being the most successful character than Batman is DC's GOAT character. No one has matched his level of success across multiple media like he has, he's achieved success in every form of medium: Film, video games, TV, radio, animation, novels and of course comics. The closest one is Spider-Man, and even then he still lags behind Bats in a few areas. Batman is pretty much singlehandedly keeping DC afloat considering how they badly mismanaged their other IPs over the years, and for that he deserves appreciation and respect if nothing else.

But he's not my favorite character, and that so much of his success comes at Superman's expense makes me bitter as fuck. So many of his stories involve him sealing his status as top dog by bathing in Clark's blood and I'm just so fucking sick of it. I'm sick of seeing his dumbass parents get their brains blown out in an alley, sick of seeing him cry and use that as an excuse to be a sociopath, sick of him doing heinous stuff and get off with no punishment, sick of Clark having to be the "brawn" to his "brains", sick of people wanting Wonder Woman to just be his girlfriend, sick of Nightwing constantly getting fucked over because he's still Batman's sidekick, sick of his fanboys shilling him to hell and back as the most badass dude to ever walk the Earth who can out preptime Cthulhu but also he's just a regular guy like you and me ;) teehee.

It's so disheartening looking over at how Marvel has made people fans of their entire universe while DC clings to Batman for dear life. People give more of a shit about the two Batmen in the Flash movie than they do about the Flash (not that I blame them but still). Totally understand why, throughout the clusterfuck that DC has been for decades, Batman's been an oasis of stability. The Batman writers have been constantly building up Batman and Gotham into the most fleshed out franchise ever, so that it can support stories ranging from crime noir, to horror, to cyberpunk, to family adventures, to blockbuster action adventures, to globe trotting escapades, and so much more. It's been pretty much an unbroken chain of, at the very least solid, storytelling since O'Neil started returning him to his roots, and Frank Miller took campy Batman to Crime Alley and beat him to death.

None of the other franchises can compete with that, either mired in constant reboots or multiple mantle holders fighting for the top spot. Add on the best Rogues Gallery in comics, the inherent coolness of being a ninja dressed like a demon armed with all the coolest toys and deadliest training, who operates out of his personal cave under his mansion with his butler attending to him, and I get it, I get why he's so popular. Must reiterate that I'm rather fond of the bastard myself.

Just wish his success didn't come at others expense so often is all.

#batman #dc comics

[legionofpotatoes]

we decided to watch all story cutscenes from the new resident evil village videogame on a whim, since it’s not really our cup of tea gameplay-wise but seems to be this massive zeitgeist moment that made us morbidly curious. And I know how much everyone cares about my thoughts on things I know very little about, so. let’s get into it huh gamers. and yeah spoilers?

for context, I’ve only played resident evil 4 and a small portion of 5. I also read the wikipedia entry for 7’s plot recently. all this to say I was only vaguely aware of how tonally wacky the series was going in

I also completely gave up following the plot of the mutagens’ soap opera, so that paid off in spades here as you might imagine

anyway so that baby in the intro. that baby’s head is just massive. humongous toddlerdome. when ethan finds the baby’s head in a jar later on. there is no way that head would fit into that jar. bad game design. no not even game design. basic stuff. one hundred years in prison for jar modeler

if I see a single functional hetero marriage in video games I will cry tears of joy. I understand their misery is kind of The Point irt them badly working through the hillbilly romp trauma but like. sheesh. at least set that up as an emotional story goal the plot will help resolve. but nope they start off miserable and it goes nowhere

I know I know the mia thing has a huge wrinkle in it but like. not really in terms of dramatic function?? set up a happy end to the re7 nightmare (miranda can keep up appearances for all she cares) and then take that all away from angry griffin mcelroy for manpain. it will still absolutely work to set up the dramatic forward momentum. why throw in this cliche Hollywood Tension in their marriage if you’re not going to address it oh maybe because it’s normalized as automatically interesting because nuclear families are a self-propagating pit of a very narrow chance at emotional happiness relying on social stigma to preserve their empty function oops my baggage slipped in yikes abort mission

I called him griffin mcelroy because I saw his face on twitter and. yeah. I will continue to do this occasionally. my house my rules

... fuck the reason I’m hung up on this is specifically because the rest of the game is so tonally dexterous (which is a shining point to me! more on that later!), and yet they felt weirdly compelled to create the aesthetic trapping of a family-at-odds trope without following it through too well. a sign of both the good and the bad stuff to come

but listen the real reason why I wanted to talk about any of this is to nitpick the fascinating backwards-engineered nucleus of the entire thing; in that this game essentially creates a melting pot of just SO many disparate horror tropes and then makes a no-holds-barred unhinged effort at weaving thick lore to piece them all together. it is truly a sight to behold. like straight up you got your backwoods fright night situation, your gothic castle vampires, your rural-industrial werewolves, and don’t forget your bloated swamp monsters over there, with then a hard left turn into robotic body horror, and the entire ass subgenre of Creepy Doll writ large, and the bloodborne tentacle monsters, and a hellboy angel bossfight, which rides on the coattails of a mech-on-mech pacific rim bonanza, and just jesus henry christ slow down

almost all of these are textural hijack jobs that don’t really get into the metaphor plain of any of those settings but the game sort-of makes an argument that the texture IS the point and revels in it. It is kind of admirable almost. The same reason why the intro felt boxed in and unmotivated is also why the rest of the game just blasts off of its hinges to the point of complete and self-indulgent tonal abandon. I kinda loved that about it. lady dimitrescu made sure to hold her hat down as she bent forward in mahogany doorways and then suddenly she’s a giant gore dragon and you settle in your temp role as dark souls man with Gun to take her ass down. Excellent??

this rhino rampage impulse to gobble up every horror aesthetic known to man comes to head when the game wrestles with its FPS trappings in what is the most hilarious solution in creating visceral player damage moments. Since most cinematics and the entire game is in first person, that leaves precious little real estate for the devs to work with if they really want to sell griffin’s physical crucible. To wit. This dude’s forearms. Specifically just the forearms. They are MASSACRED throughout the story. The poor man lives out the silent hill dimension of a hand model. by the end cutscene he looks like a neatly dressed desk clerk who had decided to stick both his grabbers into garbage disposal grinders just a few hours prior. like in addition to everything else it manages to rope in that tinge of slapstick violence into its general grievous genre collection except this time it IS for a lack of trying! truly incredible

but wait his miracle clawbacks from everything his poor paws go through are retroactively explained away, yes, but far too vaguely and far too late to console me as I sat and watched everyone’s favorite baby brother reattach an entirely severed hand to his wrist stump by just. placing it on there. and giving it a lil twist ‘n pop terminator-style. and then willing his fingers back into motion right in front of my bulging eyes. this game just does not care. it does not give a shit. and boy howdy will it work to make that into one of its strongest suits

cause generally speaking resident evil was THE premiere vanilla zombie content destinaysh for like a decade, right? and as the rest of the world and mainstream media started encroaching and bloodying its blue ocean it went and just exploded in every single conceivable horror trope direction like a smilodon on catnip. truly, genuinely fascinating franchise moves

yeah the big vampire milf is hot. other news; grass... green. although I do love the implication that her closet is just identical white dresses on a rack. cartoon network-level queen shit

apropos of nothing I’ve said there’s also this hobo dante-devimaycry-magneto man, and I can’t believe this sentence makes sense. anyway he made that “boulder-punching asshole” joke referring to chris redfield and it was probably the only easter egg that really landed for me and boy did it land hard. I have not seen him punch the boulder in re5, mind. I had only heard about how funny it is from friends. and here this dude was, probably in the same exact mindset as me, trying to grapple with that insane mental image. with you on that ian mckellen, loud and clear

I advocate vehemently against the shallow pursuit of hyper photorealism in art direction but I gotta admit it works really in favor of immersive horror like this. the european village shacks especially gave me super unchill flashbacks to my rural countryside retreat in western georgia. I could smell the linoleum dude. not cool

faces are weird in this game. can’t place it. nice textures, good animation, but the modeling template is... uuh strange? and the hair. it has that clustered-flat-clumpy look that harkens to something very specific and unpleasant but I just don’t know what. sue me

griffin’s mental aptitude to take all this shit in stride and end every seemingly traumatizing bossfight involving some fucking eldritch being yet unseen through mortal eyes by essentially throwing out an MCU quip is just. What the fuck dude? I mean that was funny how you casually yelled the f-word at a god damn werewolf that you considered a fairy tale an hour ago but are you like, all right?? it was swinging a sledgehammer the size of a bus at you, ethan

oh oh the vampires are afraid of cold and your last name is winters. I get it haha

Pro Gamer Nitpick: boss fights seemed a bit unnecessarily long?? idk why the youtuber we picked decided the ENTIRE propeller man fight counted towards the vital story scenes he was stitching together, but man mr big daddy lite there really had some get up and go huh??

why are they saying dimitrescu.. like that. is it really how you say that word or is the english language relapsing into its fetish for ending every single word with a consonant at all costs

I’m not saying it’s a dramatic miss of a twist in context of all that’s going on, but the “you died in the last game actually and have been DC’s clayface ever since” revelation is low-key. it’s. it’s just funny to me, I dont know what to say. century-old god-witch fails her evil plan after she mistakenly removes heart from what was definitely NOT just some white guy with eight fingers after all

chris realizing he’s about to become the player character and immediately swapping out his tsundere trenchcoat for the muscletight sex haver sweater

the little bluetooth speaker-sized pipe bomb he taped to his knife was nuclear?? really??? I must have missed something because that is just too good. I buy it though I totally buy it. chris just got them fun-sized nukes in his car trunk for, you guessed it, Situations

anyway this is all for now just wanted to briefly touch on how unexpectedly funny and tonally irreverent this seemingly serious game turned out to be. did not articulate any cathartic story beats whatsoever but my god it had fun connecting those plot points. he just fucking put his severed hand back on his stump and it Just Worked todd howard get in here

#text #another one in my bulleted review series with no rhyme or reason #sorry resident evil fans this could be a painful read pls turn away #i know almost nothing about it but i am gonna be super fake familiar and critical of this one hey ho

[peterneptune16]

RWBY/Spider-Man: Far From Home Incorrect Quotes

These are a bit dumb and corny, yeah ik- Sorry about that. But I absolutely LOVE Marvel and Especially Spider-Man, Spider-Man has been my favorite series ever, and Peter, just favorite character ever, aswell as the series with my favorite group of villains and group of supporting characters in just- the history of me loving things. Spider-Man means alot too me, from the comics to movies to games to cartoons and beyond, and I love Spider-Man: Far From Home alot. Also, I hate myself for not making a single Marvel post the entire time I have been on Tumblr- which I plan too change soon! (But to those who like my stuff, I promise I will still do RWBY and especially Oscar/RoseGarden stuff, as always, I just wanna branch out a bit), but in the meantime, have yourself some RWBY characters (mainly Oscar) saying Spider-Man: Far From Home quotes! Hope you all enjoy and have a blessed day all of you ^^ 💚

————————————————————————

Qrow: Oh, you look lovely.

Aunt: Thanks, you too.

Qrow: Thank you. New dress?

Aunt: Yeah, yes it is. It’s a new beard?

Qrow: It’s my fall beard, I grew it during the fall of Atlas. *Oscar looks at him* Fall beard.

Aunt: I see. *Smiles and walks off*

Oscar: *Looks back at Qrow, eyebrow raised* What just happened?

————————————————————————

Oscar: I am Ozpin- and I’ve really messed up-

Ruby: Wait you’re being serious right now?

Oscar: Mhm-

Ruby: Like 100% serious? Because it’s not funny.

Oscar: No, I’m not joking-

Ruby: Because I was only like 67 percent sure.

Oscar: Ruby...

Ruby: So why are you here? Why are you on this trip?

Oscar: I know you have a lot of questions, but we have to get out of here, okay?

Ruby: Okay. Okay, I can’t believe I figured it out!

————————————————————————

Glynda: EDITH stands for “Even Dead, I’m the Hero”, Oz loved his acronyms.

Oscar: *Chuckles* Yeah, he did.

————————————————————————

Oscar: What’s your password?

Qrow: Password.

Oscar: No, what is your Password?

Qrow: It’s “Password” Spelled out-

Oscar: You’re the head of Oz’s Huntsmen, and your password is “password”?

Qrow: I don’t feel good about it-

————————————————————————

Aunt: Hungry? *Tosses a banana and hits Oscar in the head* I’m sorry- I thought you could sense that with the... Ozpin tingle? *Talking about How Oz alerts Oscar (Only way this quote works)*

Oscar: Please do not start calling it the Ozpin tingle-

————————————————————————

Oscar: You look really Pretty-

Ruby: And therefore I have Value?

Oscar: No. No, That’s not what I meant at all. I was just-

Ruby: I’m messing with you. Thank you, you look pretty too.

#rwby #spider man #spider man far from home #oscar pine #ruby rose #rwby rosegarden #qrow branwen #aunt pine #glynda goodwitch #professor ozpin #source: Spider-Man far from home

[365days365movies]

April 12, 2021: Mrs. Doubtfire (1992) (Recap)

Hey, Robin Williams. Been a while.

I’m sorry that I haven’t watched your movies for a while, and that I always skip your comedy stand-up when my phone’s on shuffle. I just...let me explain. Since I was a kid, you were one of my favorite entertainers. That might as well have started the day I was born, because...well, we share a birthday, fun fact. But it definitely continued with the first movie I ever saw in theatres.

While I don’t quite remember the first time I saw it, Aladdin was one of my favorite childhood movies, and I knew that you were the voice of the Genie from an early age. You might have actually been the first actor I ever knew by name. Which makes sense, because your stardom during the ‘90s was nearly unparalleled.

The next film I remember seeing (and hearing) you in was Ferngully: The Last Rainforest. That also starred Tim Curry, who would also be a major figure of my childhood. It also wasn’t the best movie, in hindsight, but it is the only time I’ve heard you rap since.

But eventually, I watched your forays into live-action, too. Jumanji, Hook, even the objectively bad Flubber, are all movies that I vividly remember watching during childhood. I was really excited for Flubber, even, and I LOVED Jumanji growing up. I liked Hook, too, but I appreciated that more as I got older.

Of course, during this time period, you also made less family-friendly films. The Fisher King, Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets Society, Good Morning Vietnam, and What Dreams May Come were all very successful, and cemented your reputation as an actor. I also haven’t seen any of them. In fact...I don’t think I’ve seen any of your dramatic roles, and that’s something that I’ll fix this year. Hell, in a few days, I’ll watch The Birdcage, another of your big hits of the ‘90s.

But why haven’t I seen them up to now? Well...I was going to watch these films, about seven years ago. But...I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it. Because it hurts. A lot.

I know that this is a downer, but my relationship with Robin Williams today is tainted by his tragic death. I was fucking BROKEN when his death was announced, and I really haven’t been able to watch him since. I’ve seen Aladdin recently, but that’s about all I could stand to watch. I mean, the guy shares a birthday with me! I’ve always loved his comedy stylings, and his improvisational skills are something I’ve internalized to a certain degree.

So, yeah. This one’s tough. But, it’s about time I moved on, and celebrated the man’s career for what it was: stellar. And that also brings up an important question, that some of you have probably asked by now:

HOW HAVE I MISSED MRS. DOUBTFIRE, WHAT THE FUCK

I KNOW I KNOW OK?

Look, I’m not entirely sure how I haven’t seen this movie, because I’m MORE than aware of it! I remember it airing during the ‘90s, my Dad AND girlfriend love this movie, and I know FOR A FACT that my family owned both the DVD AND THE VHS of this movie! So, how? HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN IT BY NOW?

I honestly have no idea, but let’s fix it now, huh? Yet one more man-dresses-as-woman movie this month! And no, I am not watching White Chicks...because I’ve already seen White Chicks. Also, it’s...problematic.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

 Recap

Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams) is a voice-actor, and a good one. Which, given that it’s Robin Williams, isn’t entirely inaccurate. He’s also a voice actor with a spine, as he morally objects to a scene in the cartoon that he’s performing for, in which the main character smokes. By the way, I’m 99% sure that this cartoon is animated by Chuck Jones, and it looks well-made.

Anyway, this leads to him quitting the cartoon altogether, and allows him to pick up his kids early from school. These kids are Lydia (Lisa Hykub), Chris (Matthew Lawrence), and Natalie (Mara Wilson), and it’s Chris’ 12th birthday. Daniel arranges a...surprisingly large party, given that it’s completely impromptu, and it comes with a petting zoo and complete trappings. However, it’s not a party of which his wife will approve.

This wife is Miranda (Sally Field), a successful architect and the breadwinner of the family. After getting a call from the neighbor about the party, she comes home and busts the outrageous party. And for the record, I’m entirely on Miranda’s side here. This party is INSANE, and very irresponsible, given the fact that Daniel currently has no job. And yeah, he’s a very loving father, and a good person, but...it’s too much.

Miranda feels the same, and after 14 years of frustration, she realizes that she no longer loves Daniel. In a genuinely sad scene, she tells him that she wants a divorce. And she goes through with it MUCH to Daniel’s detriment. He has no home, as he’s staying with his brother, Frank (Harvey Fierstein) and his partner Jack (Scott Capurro). He also still has no job, meaning that he has no way to provide for his children. This means that he has no ability to provide, and the judge awards Miranda full custody. Oof.

However, this is a conditional arrangement, as another hearing for joint custody will be held in 3 months, and if Daniel can get a home and job in that time, he has a chance. He performs a litany of voices and impressions with his court liason, Mrs. Sellner (Anne Haney), which amuses me, but not her, and he gets a job in order to be with his kids for more than one day a week.

Meanwhile, Miranda IMMEDIATELY starts dating fellow designer and old flame Stuart Dunmeyer (Pierce Brosnan), like, almost before Daniel leaves the house. He bids a heartfelt goodbye to his kids, with the promise that he’ll see them on Saturdays. And now begins the absolute hatred and petty bitchiness of Daniel and Miranda! Seriously, it’s...it’s fucking terrible, and it takes away from my sympathy from either side. I get that divorce is rough and ugly, but GODDAMN, neither of them perform the act with any form of tact or grace.

This is put on display during the kids’ visitation to Daniel’s semi-crappy new apartment, which doesn’t even seem that bad, to be honest. Miranda dropped them off late and picked them up early, as if to slowly starve Daniel of time with his kids, which is extraordinarily shitty of her, fuck me. Daniel’s not taking it well, understandably, but then does something...really dumb, when you think about it.

See, Miranda’s looking for a nanny, to help watch the kids and clean the house during the week. Daniel volunteers his services, which is actually a good idea, but Miranda says she’ll think about it, which we ALL know means no. I DO NOT like Miranda, even if I understand the initial reasons for the divorce. She’s being especially spiteful, and it’s not a good look.

Daniel’s stupid idea, though, is to change the phone number on the ad for the nanny, which Miranda shows him before she takes the kids. Instead, he calls her number, and pretends to be various terrible applicants, until finally supplying his own applicant: the completely fictional Euphegenia Doubtfire (Daniel Hillard).

Daniel plays Mrs. Doubtfire as an elderly British woman, and a seasoned nanny in her day. Which is why it’s weird to me that, when he does to Frank and Jack to help him make an elaborate disguise as Mrs. Doubtfire, that they go through various other impressions and get-ups. Which, yes, is goddamn hilarious, but also makes NO SENSE, given that they’ve already established her character to Miranda. Funny, but nonsensical.

But, regardless, Euphegenis Doubtfire comes into being, and introduces herself to Miranda and the kids. Mrs. Doubtfire is exactly what Miranda’s looking for, although the kids aren’t exactly overjoyed, ESPECIALLY the oldest, Lydia. Also, during this first meeting, Miranda openly bad-mouths Daniel in front of the kids, in just the WORST fuckin’ way. I genuinely dislike Miranda A LOT. Again, the divorce was certainly justified, but I REALLY don’t like her. Daniel loves his kids, and they’re HIS kids, TOO. Stop using them as weapons against him, OOOOOOOOOOOH I DON’T LIKE MIRANDA

Anyway, that evening, after she’s officially been hired by Miranda, Mrs. Doubtfire heads home, only to find court liason Mrs. Sellner waiting to speak with Daniel. After a litany of puns, and a humorous changing scene, Daniel accidentally throws the Mrs. Doubtfire mask out of the window, and is forced to improvise through equally humorous circumstances. Hence, the above meringue mask scene. Has anybody tried that, by the way? Could that work as a groundbreaking beauty technique? Or would the sugar just feed the skin bacteria and give you acne? Genuinely curious.

Now going between his job as Daniel and the nanny job as Doubtfire, Daniel’s not doing too badly for himself. The nanny job begins, and Mrs. Doubtfire IMMEDIATELY contrasts with Daniel, creating a disciplinarian atmosphere in place of Daniel’s formerly loosey-goosey attitude. Which is interesting, and it works! I mean, it’s not how I would parent, but it does work. Doubtfire makes the kids to their homework, rather than watch TV, and then attempts to make dinner. Instead, though, the dinner’s ruined, and Daniel orders takeout and makes it LOOK like homemade food. And it looks good, too! Daniel’s full of hidden talents.

After dinner, as Mrs. Doubtfire’s leaving, Lydia apologizes for backtalking her earlier, and thanks her for making her mom happy with everything she did that evening. he also says that she’s still a bit messed up about her dad being gone. And yeah, it’s sweet-but-sad. 

Going forward (and in a montage set to Aerosmith’s Dude Looks Like a Lady), Mrs. Doubtfire takes care of the family, and Daniel even betters himself to become a better Mrs. Doubtfire. Which...to be honest, Daniel REALLY should’ve done this before. I get that he needed the pressure of losing the kids to do this, but...look, Daniel really wasn’t that responsible of a parent, and the fact that THIS is how he learns to be so is...not great. Like, here’s an example, OK: take Donald Trump.

Yeah, I know, what’s this politics doing in my peanut butter? And WOW, that reference is older than me, but anyway. Let’s say that, in two years, a new politician comes on the scene, and her name is Karyn Walldottir. She has somewhat centrist views, and behaves in a way that’s inclusive to the majority, and backs up her claims and promises with evidence (at least true enough for us to suspend our disbelief). This is, of course, Donald Trump disguised as a woman in order to gain custody of the United States of America again. Naturally.

Karyn Walldottir gets elected in 2024, and all of her policies are markedly different from Trump’s and Biden’s, but leaning closer to Biden in progressive standpoints (assuming that that worked for him come 2024). While Trump is doing this specifically to be president again, he ends up revising his personal policies, and being a better person and president for the country. A literal impossibility, I know. But suspend your disbelief to ask this question:

WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T HE DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!

OK, now that that dumbass (and mildly horrifying) thought process is concluded, let’s get back to Mrs. Doubtfire. In the process of Mrs. Doubtfire’s ingratiation with the family, Miranda’s been dating Stu, whom Mrs. Doubtfire subtly insults when they meet. And yeah, Daniel’s being a little petty here, but it makes a bit of sense at least.

That night, after an accidental intrusion by Chris when Mrs. Doubtfire is going to the bathroom, Daniel’s basically forced to tell Chris and Lydia his little secret, which Lydia’s happy about, but Chris is understandably weirded out about. But, they agree to keep the secret from their mom and younger sister.

At his OTHER job, delivering film reels from a TV station, he witnesses the filming of an extremely boring kids educational TV show, and comments as such to another man watching. As he quickly learns, this is the owner of the station, Jonathan Lundy (Robert Prosky), on whom Daniel makes a good impression.

In the meantime, Mrs. Doubtfire has a talk with Miranda about their love lives, real and fictional. Daniel realizes how badly Miranda had been suffering in their marriage, which she never told him because...well, he never seemed to take anything seriously. Which is entirely fair...but this is why Miranda’s a tricky-ass character. She’s got two sides: there’s the justified caring mother and strong woman, and there’s the PETTY ASSHOLE who genuinely doesn’t care about Daniel or his feelings AT ALL. Jesus.

And Stu...look, Stu is LITERALLY a Gary Stu, who’s mostly perfect. Sure, he’s not always been that way, but he definitely is now! He’s responsible, wealthy, in love with Miranda AND her kids. And yeah, at a country club that he’s a member of (OF COURSE he is), he privately badmouth Daniel in front of Mrs. Doubtfire, calling him a loser, and...yeah, he’s not really unjustified in that statement. Fact of the matter is, Stu is barely even a plot device.

Meanwhile, in Daniel’s day job, he finds himself alone in the studio, where the toy dinosaurs from the TV show are still sitting on the table. He plays with them, gives them voices, sings some songs, and impresses Mr. Lundy, who’s there in the shadows after all that. He’s impressed, and invites Daniel to dinner to talk about a potential future show at the network.

But then, it’s also Miranda’s birthday coming up, and Stu’s holding a dinner for her, to which Mrs. Doubtfire is invited. Trouble is, it’s at the OH FUCK IT. YOU know what this is. It’s at the same time and place as the Mr. Lund meeting yaddayaddayadda LOOK. We ALL know how this is going to end. It’s the GODDAMN LIAR REVEALED TROPE AGAIN. And here’s the thing:

I FUGGIN’ HAAAAAATE THE LIAR REVEALED TROPE

You know, that thing in movies (especially family movies of the ‘90s) where somebody starts off a situation with a lie, they get deeper and deeper into that lie, grow close to people under false pretenses, and then OH NO! THE LIAR IS REVEALED! And everybody’s angry and/or sad, the liar slumps off, defeated and broken, but then realizes the error of his ways, while everybody else realizes the same thing, and he comes back to vindicate himself, and is welcomed back with open arms. And it introduces unneeded tension AND I HAVE ALWAYS FUCKING HATED IT.

Let’s list the examples, shall we? A Bug’s Life, Aladdin, Mulan, The Road to El Dorado, Chicken Run, How to Train Your Dragon, Klaus, Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted, Megamind (SUBVERSIVE MY ASS), Over the Hedge, Rango, Toy Story, Steven Universe (the whole Pearl/Sardonyx arc, which went on for WAY too long), the list goes on and fucking on. And I GODDAMN HATE IT. Not to say it can’t be done well. Disney actually usually does a pretty good job with it, and Dreamworks uses it A LOT, but almost always pretty well. But sometimes...GOD. Either way, it’s still used FAR too fucking much. And look. Here’s another one. Joy.

Look, at this point...I will freely admit that I'm biased against this trope, but it’s also obvious where this is headed. Basically, Daniel switches back and forth between the dinner with the family, and the dinner with Mr. Lundy. With Mr. Lundy, he gets absolutely SMASHED. Great. Great decision, Daniel.

So, yeah, Mrs. Doubtfire’s also smashed, which is pretty goddamn apparent to them all. At this point, I’m wondering why Daniel, as Mrs. Doubtfire, didn’t just say she was sick as hell, and had to go home. Or, considering the fact that Daniel proposes her as a show idea regardless, the switch wasn’t even necessary! And that means that none of what’s about to happen, happens. Or, here’s a crazy thought, maybe Daniel shouldn’t have POISONED STU’S FOOD WITH CAYENNE PEPPER THAT HE’S ALLERGIC TO! 

YEAH! Because that causes Stu to go into anaphylactic shock for a hot sec, causing him to choke. Mrs. Doubtfire does the right thing and gives him the Heimlich maneuver, and in the process, SURPRISE! IT’S BEEN DANIEL ALL ALONG! BUH BUH BUHHHHH DA DA DA DAAAAA DA

Yeah, so Miranda is understandably ENRAGED by this revelation, and it’s all over. Daniel represents himself in court at the custody hearing, but the judge deems his “lifestyle” dangerous for children. Which...yikes, Judge, that statement didn’t age well AT FUCKING ALL. But, given Daniel’s admitted stupidity with this whole idea, he’s not wrong about the dangerous part. But, I have to say, Daniel’s speech in his own defense is nice...although he also says he’s addicted to his children, so let’s throw a second yikes on there for good measure.

The speech moves Miranda...but not enough to prevent Daniel has his custody stripped away from him! GOD THEY BOTH SUUUUUUUUCK. Daniel’s a broken man, and Miranda and the kids are similarly broken without him and Mrs. Doubtfire. However...Daniel’s career isn’t broken AT ALL, as Mrs. Doubtfire is now a kid’s show host! Yeah! And she’s a hit! And again, it brings me to wonder why Daniel DIDN’T APPLY HIS OBVIOUS TALENTS LIKE THIS IN THE FIRST GODDAMN PLACE

Realizing that she made a mistake, she goes to the set during the filming of a show. She congratulates him on the show, and he replies by stating how broken he is now! Thanks, Miranda! Well, after an argument, and after Miranda sees how badly she’s messed up someone she used to care for, they come to an agreement: joint custody. FINALLY GODDAMN IT

And good, because I don’t want them back together. I have to give this film props for that: they acknowledge that these two are NOT good for each other, and they deliver a message in the end: families are families, no matter how they’re shaped. One mom, one dad, uncle or aunt, grandparents, adoption, two separated or divorced parents...oh, also, two dads or two moms. Yeah, that isn’t said in Mrs. Doubtfire’s final monologue, which is odd considering Daniel’s brother and his life partner...but it’s also kid’s TV in the ‘90s, so I guess that sadly makes sense. And with that, and their new family arrangement, Daniel takes his kids on an afternoon out, as himself.

...Look. That’s Mrs. Doubtfire, yaddayaddayadda LOOK. I don’t dislike this movie. In fact, here: have this mini-Review:

Cast and Acting - 9/10: Good, although Brosnan was a little stiff.

Plot and Writing - 5/10: It’s an idiot plot, what can I say? It’s actually based off of a book, which was a surprise to me, but it was adapted by Randi Mayem Singer and Leslie Dixon, and...eh. Still an idiot plot.

Directing and Cinematography - 8/10: It’s Chris Columbus, you get what you get. Definitely has that Home Alone flair to it.

Production and Art Design - 8/10: I mean, yeah, the Doubtfire disguise was good most of the time, but...I dunno, I could still tell it was Robin. But, still, it was good. Took 4 hours of makeup, fun fact.

Music and Editing - 8/10: Music by Howard Shore (ooh, Howard Shore!) was pretty nice, especially the ending theme. Editing by Raja Gosnell was...RAJA GOSNELL???

OH GOD. Yeah, OK, I see what happened here. Also, I didn’t know he was an editor! I just know him as the director of the Scooby-Doo films, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, The Smurfs films, Big Momma’s...

...OK, no, I am not doing Big Momma’s House OR the Madea movies. THE TROPE-BUCK STOPS HERE! I am moving on to something else! But, of course, I have to sum this up in a Review. See you there!

#mrs. doubtfire #mrs doubtfire #chris columbus #robin williams #sally field #pierce brosnan #harvey fierstein #robert prosky #mara wilson #comedy april #user365 #365days365movies #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365 movies a year #moviegifs

[dylanhawth]

[ LORENZO ZURZOLO, CISMAN, HE/HIM ] shh ! DYLAN HAWTHORNE, the TWENTY year old SECOND year ANTHROPOLOGY major from HARTFORD, CT is known as a TOURMALINE  around here. HE was invited to join because HE PUBLISHED A COLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES ANONYMOUSLY THAT GARNERED A BIT OF FOLLOWING AND RECENTLY STEPPED FORWARD AS THE AUTHOR, and now, they’re here to stay. HE reminds me of THE NERVOUSNESS OF A FIRST KISS, LEAVING SECRET MESSAGES IN LIBRARY BOOKS, DRIVING AIMLESSLY WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED DOWN ON A WARM SUMMER NIGHT WHILE THE RADIO HUMS A PLAYLIST CURATED FOR YOU BY YOUR BEST FRIEND.

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ooc. 

omfg hello. i can’t tell you how excited and happy i am to be here. i was too nervous to apply for the last three months but i decided to stop being a Coward and just try. im SO happy to be here, it’s the highlight of my week tbh lmao. anyway i am mar, she/her, 24, est. i live in nyc and all i do is visit the planetarium and cry. i’m so fucking bad at these so im just gonna LIST things and hope you get the vibe. i am a pisces sun, scorpio moon. i prob have a napoleon complex a little bit lmao. my favorite social media site is goodreads and i get rlly sad when my friends rate books i love poorly dfljskdfs. i can touch my tongue to my nose. i eat a lot of persimmons. i have a favorite rock at my local park that i visit a lot. idk dfskjls. i’m v friendly tho so pls hmu. i send a lot of memes, and love making meme edits for the chars so im rlly sorry in advance if you guys hate that. 

01.      basics.

NAME.   dylan h. hawthorne. ALIASES. dyl, hawth.   AGE.  twenty. HOMETOWN. hartford, ct. GENDER.  cismale. PRONOUNS.   he/him.

 02.      appearance.

EYES.   green. HAIR.   brown. HEIGHT.   6”0 BUILD.   lean. BIRTHMARKS   /   BURNS   /   SCARS.   a birthmark the shape of australia on his left thigh. TATTOOS.   n/a. PIERCINGS.   n/a.

03.      habits.

ALCOHOL   ?  socially. SMOKING   ?  socially. HABITS.  fidgets in chairs. cracks knuckles and back often. nervous laughter. chewing on pencils. talking to his plants. dogearing books. staring off into space and applying chapstick for a prolonged period of time. getting overly competitive about boardgames. stress cleaning. carries a book in his bag always. night owl. incredibly impatient when the internet is slow. creature of habit when it comes to menus, orders the same shit over and over again. LIKES.   feeding the ducks at the local pond. the smell of the earth after a rainstorm. the way music sounds coming from another room. kissing. watering his plants. inside jokes. making wishes in fountains. discussing a recently finished book with someone. making handmade cards for friends on their birthday. fireworks. coming of age films. packages wrapped in twine. jogs. the way friday nights feels when you’re with someone you love. the feeling you get leaving the movie theatre. DISLIKES.   being late. having too many coins on him. coffee with no sugar. when people speak loudly in the library. doing laundry. handshakes with too much squeeze. receiving voicemails. untidiness. golf. charles dickens. lectures with no student input. hot weather. confrontation. being caught in a lie. losing his umbrella. people who cheat during games. rainboots. bad table manners. humidity.

04.      personality.

MYERS-BRIGGS.   infp. ENNEAGRAM. the helper. ZODIAC.   pisces. TEMPERAMENT.   melancholic. ALIGNMENT.   neutral good. ARCHETYPE.   the lover. POSITIVE.   empathetic. sensitive. intelligent. charismatic. easygoing. gentle. loyal. passionate. romantic. humble. supportive. gregarious. playful. diligent. NEGATIVE.   deceitful. gullible. finicky. naive. obsessive. perfectionistic. secretive. timid. possessive. weak-willed. indecisive. cynical. indulgent. summary: basically, dylan is a love starved, people pleasing nervous wreck. big ass nerd who wants to be everyones friend, wants to be liked SO BAD. very charming and charismatic, comes off as fairly confident and comfortable at first. is able to make everyone feel loved and like they’re the most important person in the world, however lacks a backbone. is both romeo and juliet, and just as dumb as both of them too. 

05.      hc’s.

dylan was a football player in high school, believe it or not. he was rather good at it too, which is sort of jarring considering his pacifistic nature. however, he DID land on someone incorrectly at some point during his senior year, and broke their wrist. he quickly abandoned the sport altogether because of how guilty he felt. 

touched on this briefly but dylan really… loves indiana jones lmao. like, it’s quite ironic given his absolutely inability to be a badass, and lack of suaveness. however, he admires indy’s lust for adventure. he also was obsessed with the mummy as a kid. both of these were incredible sources in his very irrational decision to sudden anthropology. however, he does really love and admire anthropology. his favorite ethnography is the spirit catches you and you fall down, which makes him cry like a little bitch every time he even thinks about it. 

he’s the second oldest, but he is also baby. he is SUCH a big momma’s boy. he misses his mom so much. he writes to her often, and of course calls her even more. despite being six-foot tall, he still goes home and rests his head on his mother's lap, falls asleep as she runs her fingers through his hair. he often tries to find native english plants and flowers to press, and mail back to his mother in the form of bookmarks. has nEVER STEPPED ON A CRACK IN HIS LIFE, BABY.

just leaves a shit ton of notes in books in the library. some are riddles, some are poetry, some are commentary on the book, some are doodles. just depends on how he’s feeling for that book. he doesn’t tell anyone he does it, but he’s waiting for someone to connect the dots with his handwriting and writing style. 

speaking of plants, his room is basically a big greenhouse. he has so many plants, and takes serious care of them all. he has a little humidifier in his space for them, marks down when he waters what plants, and has a label maker to label them all with a name. they are all named after shakespeare characters. 

dyl is a doodler, so much so that he contributes to the school paper as a cartoonist. his cartoons are usually just random thoughts he has, but sometimes they get political and he works marxism into them. (this man loves marx.) 

[ suicide implied tw, death mention tw ] he dresses like a victorian boy in love with his roommate who has recently died of scarlet fever and in his mourning, plans to disappear in the bog by the school by mysterious circumstances and become a ghost that haunts the college with his lover. like lots of gray and slacks and ties ands ties and sweaters, lol. also he has glasses that he never wears because he can never find them! catch him squinting in your classroom because he can’t see SHIT. too shy to ask you for your notes though, doesn’t wanna inconvenience you! but when he’s Out on the Town®, he fucking wears like, tacky patterned shirts that are expensive but ugly. someone please help him. 

all about fun socks! he loves owning socks that have dumb little images on them. if you get him a pair of fun socks, he’d absolutely go nuts. his entire week: made. 

he leaves his roommate limericks when he senses they are sad. tapes em to the bathroom mirror or leaves them in the fridge. also loves buying people presents. tiny ones. like haunted looking things from second hand stores, or your favorite chocolate. also is the sort of friend that has EVERYTHING in his bag, in case someone cuts themselves or has a headache. can be a bit of a mom himself. it’s the little things, y’know? 

prob still in his emo phase. listens to way too mcr to not be lmao.

eco-friendly king, will not stand for you not recycling. 

if you will allow him, he will attempt to have a secret handshake with you. he’s a child. is dying for someone to memorize the parent trap handshake and indulge him. 

cannot sit still in a chair. fidgets an excessive amount, the bobbing of his knee and the squirming around. it just never ends. 

bi. that’s the hc.

he’s a little bit in love with everyone he meets if you couldn’t tell, and it’s fucking disastrous. 

he is based loosely off: patroclus ( the song of achilles ), ponyboy curtis ( the outsiders ), laurie laurence ( little women ), eduardo saverin ( the social network ), remus lupin ( hp ), oliver marks ( if we were villains. ) 

( @opalsmedia​ )

#opalsintro #intro #his background and things are in the big ass bio dfsklds but this is the gist of it lol

[unholyplumpprincess]

Self Care

Commission for @ago-fucks of miragehound/reader with reader getting pampered after working such long nights and being exhausted. They’re spoiled with lots of domestic fluff in the beginning and then lots of orgasms.

Reblogs > Likes. It cost zero dollars to reblog the fics you like :D

Relationship: Mirage/Bloodhound/Reader

Fandom: Apex Legends

Warnings: R18+/NSFT, Reader has a vulva, Mirage is trans and words to describe are cunt/clit/pussy, Bloodhound has a penis and words described are dick/cock, Ago’s headcanons and not mine so Bloodhound is written different!, Fluff, sex ofc, but otherwise nothin rough?, collars, mentions of safe words/signals but only cause it’s heALTHY

Words: 5k

___________________

When you were in a relationship with two of the infamous Apex games legends, you learned really quickly that every day would be a new surprise. At least, in the beginning. Now comfortably having been together for a few years, you find yourself immersed in both of them in a familiarity that brings warmth to your chest.

Though their jobs may have been going into a mini battlefield and shooting each other up on a daily basis for the seasons, that didn’t stop you from working at your own job. Art was a difficult field to pursue. From the schooling to the finding a job part. You loved your job, able to chase your passion! Yet, you were still very worked to the bone and found yourself aching from hunching over your desk to work through these character concepts for an upcoming cartoon. Your legs ached with the need to move from their constant folded position and all in all you were just tired.

Thankfully, your partners were ever so careful with you when they were home for the season ends. Bloodhound was always first to lie you out for a massage, kissing over your jaw and neck or down the line of your spine with utter gentleness. Elliott was a good listener, letting you rest your head in his lap while he stroked your hair and you either whined or excitedly showed him the new concepts via your phone. Both were entirely supportive, but also concerned for your wellbeing.

~Rest under the cut~

So, you’d come home today. Tired and murmuring in a quieter voice as you rubbed at your eyes, nursing a migraine. Elliott had suggested a quiet movie, already knowing you’d fall asleep during it even if you tried to whine otherwise. And lo and behold, not thirty minutes into it, you’d fallen asleep on the couch. Head on Elliott’s thigh while he stroked through your hair, and legs thrown over Bloodhound’s lap who was lovingly stroking down your thigh to your knee, then back.

“They need a day of spoiling.” Elliott murmurs, low enough not to wake you but loud enough for Bloodhound to hum in agreement. Elliott traces around your ear, tucking your hair and smiling when you sigh and nose at his thigh in return. “When’s their next day off?”

“Mmh. Tomorrow, I believe.” Bloodhound murmurs in return, stroking up to your hip to gently fix your shirt back into place that had ridden up. Stroking back down your thigh and smiling softly as you squirm a bit. “Let us get them into bed and we can discuss something. I am sure they would like your cooking. If you are up for it.” With that said, they carefully move your legs off their lap, watching you snuggle closer to Elliott. Carefully, they scoop under your body. Powerful arms able to cradle you as they go to tuck you into bed.

--

When you wake in the morning, your senses are first assaulted by the scent of pancakes cooking downstairs. You grumble a bit, feeling warm arms holding you in bed and a solid body pressed against you. A small turn of your head into their neck proves to be a mini space heater and the scent of pine and cinnamon. You smile, nosing into Bloodhound’s neck and feeling a scar residing there. “Good morning.” You murmur tiredly.

You hear them hum softly, already awake and aware as their fingers trace up under your shirt on your back. Smoothing their warm, calloused hands up your spine then back down. “Breakfast is not ready yet. You still had a few moments of rest,” They start, moving a hand from your back to gently cup your cheek, drawing you from your warm spot so you may make eye contact. Brown eyes so deep they could be black peer back at you, forming half little moons as they narrow in amusement at your sleepy appearance. “Torskildir- you are lovely, my dear.”

You laugh at them instead, sitting up on your shoulder so you could kiss one of their scarred, soft cheeks. “And you, are incredibly sappy in the mornings.” Their smile only deepens at you, dimples forming on their cheeks and wrinkles at the corners of their eyes. Beautiful, you think.

When you two finally do crawl out of bed, with Bloodhound insisting that you dress comfy for today and that they both had plans for you, you obey and only change into lounging clothing. They stay without a mask as you two head downstairs, only to be met by Elliott who has a bit of batter smeared on his cheek but beautiful wild berry and wild violet pancakes made. Freshly picked by Bloodhound this morning. You near about tear up at both your partners’ sweetness, sharing a good morning kiss with Elliott and remarking that he must have tasted the ingredients before fixing them together. Which earns you a cheeky grin and a finger over his lips that Bloodhound rolls their eyes at.

Throughout the day they spoil you in little ways. You all three end up sitting down for a marathon of your favorite movies, complete with blankets and you napping partial ways through them. Attention of your hair being petted and your legs causing you to go into a tired little stupor every now and then. You occasionally peek open your eyes to keep watching, or to turn your head and receive much needed kisses from Elliott, his stubble tickling your face.

When lunch time comes around, you’re not too hungry from a big breakfast so Bloodhound settles on making a little something with fresh herbs and berries. Fresh mint and different flora add an aesthetic touch to the fruit salads that make them even tastier.

You’re spoiled even then, taking berries from Elliott’s fingers and playfully sucking on his thumb’s fingertip when he lingers too long. Relishing as his face turns three shades darker and he averts his gaze with a soft, nervous laugh as he draws his hand from you. Bloodhound, who had been watching from close by, snuggled deep in their parka for the cooler weather, had merely smirked ever so knowingly at you.

They meet Elliott’s eyes who offers a charming half smile as they have a silent conversation together briefly.

Once it reaches dinner time, you’re kicked out of the kitchen much to your whining. Muninn and Arthur are even kicked from the kitchen, but you’re sure it’s just to keep you out of it. Arthur is much more snuggly, bringing you trinkets he finds around the house with little hops and crooning at you if you pick them up and thank him. Muninn lingers near your head, much more interested in preening your hair and watching the movie on the screen that’s playing in black and white with soft jazz coming from it.

Occasionally you get up, hearing the birds hopping after you as an alert to Bloodhound who easily comes sliding out of the kitchen to guide you back to the couch with harmless scolding. Their parka has been long since discarded for the warmer kitchen, now in dark tactical pants that fit them just right and a tight black tunic. You want to run your hands over their scarred, dark haired arms, and you try to but they gently shoo you away with a soft kiss to your nose. “Later, beloved. Be patient.” Is all the promise they give you before heading back to the kitchen.

You curse that their little cottage isn’t an open concept so you could watch them. Left to hear them idly talking with the music playing from Elliott’s speakers. Occasionally you hear giggling and some soft sounds that sound suspiciously like kissing and you can't help but smile every time at the happy noises.

You were so lucky.

When you’re finally allowed into the kitchen, you’re guided to the dining table made by hand from Bloodhound. The whole kitchen is carved by hand as well, now looking like a proper home with little nick nacks from their ravens, Elliott, and yourself on the shelving. Some dishes need to be washed, but otherwise everything is rather picked up already.

You’re already excited to dive in. Elliott happily introducing his glazed porkchops that you like so much and hand mashed potatoes. Once again, another item grown in Bloodhound’s beautiful garden outside, but the meat was from a local butcher. Herbs for seasonings collected from their indoor garden sitting on the nearby windowsill.

Bloodhound, since berries were in season and plentiful, had made a blueberry pie. The cut work was beautifully done lain on top for the crust to be little cut outs of hearts. Elliott proudly exclaims that he helped, only for Bloodhound to make a pointed gesture to the little heart cookie cutter and Elliott having to defend himself. It WAS still helping, he’d whined!

Your laughter makes them both stop to stare at you with absolute adoration in their eyes that you see when you peek open your eyes and flush to your ears at the attention.

Dinner goes nicely. Elliott is a little magician as always, getting up at some point and showing off a magic trick involving making a decoy with himself to pull another decoy out of seemingly nowhere. Fit with both you and Bloodhound clapping for him and watching him bow at the waist all dramatically.

Bloodhound tells stories from their trips for the past week and why your freezer was stocked with a foreign meat. Not to mention their delight in foraging the fresh berries going around. They talk happily of their own garden as well, thanking Elliott for helping them set it up and get dirty today by collecting potatoes for dinner.

The clean up afterwards you’re not even allowed to help. You try collecting dishes like you would on a regular day and you’re shooed away. You at least put up a fit, a little pout and say you’ll just watch. Bloodhound tries to argue, but Elliott gently bumps them with his hip playfully. “Aw, come on, babe. You ain’t gotta deny them EVERYTHING. If they want to watch the show of ‘house spouse extraordinaire’ playing LIVE in person right now, who are we to stop them?” He then laughs a bit at his own joke before flexing his arms upwards, making his shirt rise to show his midriff and the dark patch of hair going up to his navel. You can’t help but shamelessly stare. “Besides, who wouldn’t want to watch THIS play house husband of the year?”

Even Bloodhound is staring at the little bit of flesh exposed. Elliott left standing like that until he finally figures out why no one is laughing or saying anything back when he catches both of your hungry stares. He scoffs out a choked laugh, cheeks warming and holding a hand flat up to the both of you in a gesture as if you two were hungry lions that he needed to ward off. “Alright you predators, you can look later.”

And you would. In depth. Pay close attention, you decide, thinking about looking at way more later. Not that you had any idea they already had plans for you later in the bedroom.

It’s Elliott who winds up leading you to the bedroom as Bloodhound finishes up the rest of the dishes. He guides you softly to bed, the sheets and furs on it tossed this way and that. Thankfully you three had a huge bed that spanned a whole wall of the room, courtesy of Bloodhound’s ability to build who said it was a tragedy that beds did not come big enough for a pack like yours.

Softly, Elliott cups your cheek and thumbs over the soft flesh there as he sits next to you. You smile softly, leaning into his palm and already knowing what he wants. He was always much softer about his wants, almost anxious. “Are you up for fooling around tonight?” He murmurs with such softness, his thumb sliding over your bottom lip where you pucker to press a soft kiss to his thumb pad. You hum in agreement back to him, but he just laughs softly. “Need to hear you say it, baby.”

Your lips quirk up at his soft tone, peeking open your eyes half lidded to peer at him. Catching Bloodhound slipping into the room behind him to come approaching softly. “I’d like to, yes.” You offer full consent, watching when Bloodhound’s lips pull into a charming crooked smile, but their eyes scream primal.

“We want to pamper you.” Elliott continues softly, drawing your attention back to him. You can’t see Bloodhound, but you feel them slip behind your body to set hands on your waist, lips pressing warmly to the nape of your neck. Elliott keeps your attention on him, leaning in until you’re near nose to nose and your breath hitches at the closeness. Your own eyes flicking down to his lips and flicking your tongue out to wet your own. “You deserve it. You’ve been working too hard. You won’t have to lift a finger, baby.” His voice is so gentle, lower and almost a hum as he speaks.

Then his lips pull into a charming grin, eyes narrowing as he nuzzles his nose to yours. “Well. Maybe one finger, just a sec,” He moves as he speaks, pulling from you and making you whine. But, Bloodhound takes this moment to pull you back a bit into their lap, sinking their teeth gently into the crook of your neck from behind. It makes you whine faintly, reaching back to fist their coarse, dark auburn hair. They proceed, open mouthed kisses over the exposed flesh they can have at.

Elliott soon returns after a moment or two out of your sight. He has four different collars in his hands, you can hardly focus on him offering them to you when teeth nip at your ear. “T-the- the blue one.” You manage to get out, reaching out to take the light blue collar, the silver heart buckle making your heart flutter.

Thankfully Bloodhound separates from you long enough for Elliott to put it around your neck with utmost gentleness. Buckling it into place and tucking two fingers underneath to make sure you had enough room. You kiss at his retreating hand, eyes sparkling playfully up at him as he smiles back at you. “Alright, sweetheart. Safe words remembered? I don’t think we have anything too hard planned for you,” He pauses briefly to glance at Bloodhound, who must have shaken their head since Elliott nods back in reply as if reaffirming his words. “But, just in case it gets too much?”

“Red for absolutely stop, yellow for a break, green for keep going.” You reply, forming your hand signals for each. You snap twice on red, make a flat palm upwards for yellow, and thumbs up for green. Simple signals for you all to remember. Bloodhound hums behind you appraisingly, licking over where they’d bitten you before just above your collar and effectively distracting you.

Gently your shirt is tugged on from behind, pulling it up and over your head as Elliott leans in to you to press his soft lips to yours. You moan into the kiss softly as he cups your cheek, your pants’ waistband being toyed with by rough hands behind you. Bloodhound’s skilled hands tuck under the waistband to grope at your sex, palming at it and feeling how slick you already are on their fingertips through your underwear. They growl in your ear approvingly, sending a shock down to your core at the same time Elliott bites your bottom lip to draw a sound from you.

You’re soon being moved again, off Bloodhound’s lap to the middle of the bed where they urge you to undress. Elliott crawls up after you to rest by your head, having taken off his shirt to just be left in his sweatpants. Your eyes flicker up to him, catching the sharp-edged scars under his pecs and feel yourself longing to lick and suck at his nipples. You work the rest of your clothing off, shakily exhaling as you lie still and keep your thighs pressed together almost shyly.

“Always so beautiful, precious one.” Bloodhound murmurs, eyeing you up hungrily as their bare hands stroke softly over your thighs. They’re in their tunic from earlier and tactical pants, dressed down in their opinion. Their nails scrape over your outer thighs, down to tuck under your knees and gently spreading your legs. You allow it, going willingly as your legs part and they fit between your knees. They inhale deeply where they sit on their knees, eyes fluttering as their breath comes back out just as shaky. “As delicious as you are stunning, ástin mín.”

Your face flushes pink as they move to lie on their abdomen, warm hands gently holding open your thighs as they nuzzle between your legs. Your cunt flexes around nothing, even before they part you open and lick their way from hole to clit. You shudder, one hand coming up that is taken immediately by Elliott, the other coming down to fist Bloodhound’s hair as they press open mouthed, hot, sloppy kisses over your clit. Gently suckling and pulling on it as your toes curl into the sheets.

“Yeah, keep making that sound.” Elliott encourages when you let out a soft whine. His free hand not holding yours gently strokes over your cheek, pushing back your head when your head twists to bury yourself against his knee. He admires the way your lips part, idly wondering if you’d put your mouth to use too- but, no, this night was all about you.

He can’t help but let his eyes trail down your frame to Bloodhound, whose eyes are half lidded to peer up at your facial expressions. Their tongue flicks over your clit before they open their mouth obviously to drool over your clit, hot breath fanning over you. Elliott’s lips quirk in a small grin when you whine and squeeze his hand harder, undoubtedly fisting Bloodhound’s hair harder in turn. It only earns you a soft chuckle from Bloodhound who relents and drags their tongue over your u-spot to tease before sealing their lips back over your clit.

Elliott’s hand in your hair strokes back your hair from your forehead when your head twists the other way. Letting go of his hand so you can reach down and grab Bloodhound’s hair in both your hands to try and urge them. Your hips thrust upwards, desperately humping against their mouth as you begin to lose it. You can feel yourself drooling slick, eagerly licked up by the oh so talented tongue treating you.

It’s too good. With Elliott’s gentle praising above you and stroking of your hair, the way Bloodhound’s lips mouth and suck on your clit and pressing relentlessly against you, you can’t take it. You squirm and buck upwards, only to find Bloodhound pulling backwards.

Your eyes snap open, a confused whine from your lips. “I thought I was being pampered!” You cry out, your voice strained and breath panting. Bloodhound laughs at you, they can’t help it, nuzzling at your mound and breathing hot air onto you. You obviously pout, still throbbing and body alight, but they shush you softly.

“C’mon, Hound, don’t tease.” Elliott offers, coming to your rescue. You smile up at him in thanks, relishing in the annoyed huff you hear between your thighs. Bloodhound was always such a tease, but at least they get back to work. Nuzzling you open and fixing their tongue back against you. They’re slower than before, less focused on pleasuring you fully and just circling your clit with the point of their tongue. Motherfucker-

Right when you’re about to grab at their hair harder, they introduce a finger stroking over your hole. When you don’t say anything besides ‘please’ repetitively under your breath, they press it inside. Quickly followed by a second when you prove to be wet enough to take it.

With their fingers now scissoring and tongue focused back on you, it takes you maybe a total of thirty seconds before you’re cumming with a cry. Elliott is quick on you, leaning down to kiss you and swallow your soft cries. Licking into your mouth when you can’t seem to focus and taking advantage of your noises. Two of his fingers slip under your collar, gently tugging upwards and Bloodhound at the same time feels you clench and gush around their fingers more.

Absolutely beautiful.

Bloodhound is careful about moving their face from your legs. Only pausing to come back and press open mouthed, sloppy kisses over your clit or gently licking over you. Their fingers never stop, lazily petting upwards inside of you as their own hips grind against the bed to ease their cock. Elliott isn’t doing too better, parting softly from your kiss to gently suck on your jawline to leave a bruise. Moaning into your skin at your very taste and how wet he is himself.

You’re so unfocused from the dual ends of attention. Hips pressing up briefly every time Bloodhound teases you again and tilting your head to the side to allow Elliott more access.

It takes a few moments to regain yourself, but you turn your head just in time to peck at Elliott’s cheek, murmuring softly. “Want you to sit on my face. Please?” It makes him laugh softly, sitting back on his knees to look down at your pleading eyes, face all flushed.

“You know we’re supposed to be spoiling you, right?” He teases, bopping your nose with his index finger in the way that makes you crinkle your nose. You pout harder, more dramatic and he rolls his eyes, relenting as he wiggles out of his pants and boxers without much of a show. But, you and Bloodhound still stare at the flesh exposed.

Elliott has trimmed body hair, always kept tidy unlike Bloodhound’s fluffy mess you enjoy so much. When his boxers are removed, you can see his own sex glistening and wet, hair darker at the slit of his cunt. His clit is enlarged from T, peeking a good amount from his lower lips and looking red from his arousal. You lick your lips eagerly, spreading your legs open and peeking down at Bloodhound who is already working their pants down to mid-thigh.

Bloodhound’s cock is the thickest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. As thick as your wrist, you think. They’re only about five inches long, but the thickness certainly made them a tight fit. Their hair on their body is never trimmed, kept fluffy and wild much like they are. It’s flushed at the head, their hand giving an obligatory stroke so their foreskin pulls back and reveals the shiny, juicy head that makes you drool.

Elliott and you stare shamelessly, watching as their eyes come up and Bloodhound’s cheeks warm to a rosy red. “Elliott-” Their voice warns, and he whines faintly but goes back to paying you attention instead. You only smile cheekily at Bloodhound until they threaten you with a lick over their sharp teeth and a quirked brow until you relent and spread your legs eagerly for them.

You all settle carefully into place, with you eagerly urging Elliott to straddle your face. One strong thigh on either side of your head and his hands flat against the headboard to grip it, peering down at you as you settle your arms over his thighs. You guide him to let you take more of his weight on, nosing at his large clit so you can lick at his drooling hole to tease him.

You’re quickly taken from your small power trip when you feel rough hands sliding over your thighs to draw them over Bloodhound’s waist. Your breath hitches, quickening as you pant softly over Elliott’s sex. He seems into it at least, petting your hair and cooing softly for you to take your time. But you interrupt with a soft squeak of, “Bloodhound-” As a warning, feeling the head of their cock slide from your clit down to your hole and back.

“Elliott-” They reply back in a soft tone, and you can already feel the face they’re making at the back of his head. Watching Elliott’s eyes focus back into reality as he makes an ‘oh’ with his mouth as if remembering.

“Hey, shh, okay look at me. You’ve taken them plenty of times, it’s not like they’ve grown an inch in the past...week? Week and a half?” Elliott reassures, stroking your hair back as you turn your head to kiss at his thigh. Your body is tensed, but slowly begins to relax the more Bloodhound strokes over you. Collecting more lubrication despite how strained their breath sounds. “Houndie, be slow.” He reminds.

“I always am.” They reassure in reply, soft as they pinch your thigh and make you jump briefly with a huff and a look only Elliott can see. They wait, patient as ever until you whine out ‘green’ with desperation. That’s when you feel their thickness pressing into you, ever so gentle and slow as they stroke over your hips and thighs. Strength held back as they grab onto you softly to work into you, one hand cupping your mound to thumb over your clit and making you squirm.

It’s not that they’re long, it’s just that they’re so fucking thick. Bloodhound’s dick was the fattest one you’d ever seen in your life, always a tight fit even with stretching. Your mouth busies itself, guided back to Elliott’s cunt with a help from his hand and a soft coo from him to get to work. Your mouth goes to his clit this time, suckling and licking over the thick flesh as your nose buries against his mound.

When Bloodhound is fully sheathed inside of you, you can hardly hear the way they growl over Elliott’s thighs acting as terrific ear warmers. That, and the fact Elliott can’t stop talking. Little encouragements spilling from his lips; “Yeah, like the way I taste, baby?” “Fuck you’re so pretty down there.” “Come on, make some noise.” He’s always been the more talkative partner. Unless Bloodhound was in the mood for control.

Your thighs are gripped hard as Bloodhound gently begins to thrust. You can feel the wetness slicking down your ass at this point, your own nails digging into Elliott’s thighs as you whine against him with pleasure. Licking feverishly at his heat as if he was the only thing keeping you sane right now. You’re more eager to give head, unlike Bloodhound who liked to tease. You work him up, peeking your eyes open half way to peer through your lashes just to watch his pretty face contort in pleasure. He bites his bottom lip, head throwing back when you suck particularly hard on his clit just as Bloodhound begins to pick up the pace.

Your thighs flex with pleasure, your noises muffled but still enjoyed next to Elliott. Though, you really make a noise when you feel their hips sharply thrust against you, slamming into your g-spot. Their thumb pressing to your clit and rubbing at it in time with their newly picked up pace, matching their soft snarls and huffing.

You hold desperate to Elliott’s thighs, lips parting and tongue lolling out as he takes your hair tight and begins to hump his hips desperately against your face. He fucks himself onto your tongue, using you like a toy as you’re fucked harder. You can only whine and huff your pleasures, not willing to close your mouth, not when Elliott’s eyebrows are knitted and he’s murmuring such pretty things.

Elliott cums first with a sob and his body locking up. One of your hands finally reaches up when he does cum, cupping his pec and thumbing over his perked nipple just to feel his clit jerk against your mouth as you suck hard on it. He locks up, squirting on your chin before you’re able to part your lips back open and lick eagerly at his hole to swallow whatever he gives you.

He has to move off you when you begin to go a bit cross eyed from holding his weight. Flopping next to you and curling against your side to nuzzle at your neck briefly. Murmuring about a shower that you acknowledge with a hum of agreement. There’s a mild pause of Bloodhound’s hips, just a beat when Elliott rolls out of bed and heads for the bathroom.

“My love-” Bloodhound’s voice is a low growl and your attention is immediately on them instead of Elliott’s fantastic ass. You quickly reach out for them, letting their weight cover you as they lean down, wrapping their arms around you to hold you close. You follow suit, legs wrapping around their waist, just tight enough to be comfortable but loose enough to let them move.

“Close,” You murmur back in a desperate tone near their ear. Nuzzling just underneath it as you flex your inner walls around them just to hear them snarl. They’re losing control, nails sinking into you as they get closer. Their hips begin to move again, humping into you like an animal trying to breed. “Cum inside of me, ba- ah- baby, please-” You whine out for them. Perhaps a low move, considering you knew it was such a big kink for them.

Almost a competition to see who could cum first.

You prevail when they hump into you a few times, swearing under their breath as they cum inside of you. Cock pulsing and jerking inside of you as they slam their hips as close to yours as they can. Only allowing small thrusts, more like grinding their pelvis to yours. You clutch at them, one hand on the back of their neck and clutching at their hair, the other around their back as you hold on.

You cum seconds after, body shaking and eyes shutting. Your breath is shuddery, exhausted.

There’s a quiet after that. Bloodhound waits inside of you for only a moment longer before slowly pulling out, spreading open your lower lips to selfishly watch their cum drip from you.

When they lower back onto their tummy and nose back between your legs, you’re pretty sure you’re in for a long night.

You deserve it.

#Miragehound x reader #Miragehound #Mirage #Bloodhound #Apex legends #Apex lemons #nsft #lemon #commissions #princess writing

[ganymedesclock]

So... What do you think about revisiting Danny phantom in general? Revisiting the fandom I've noticed a lot of fanfic that have Danny's parents finding out his deal rather violently, or generally having more violence/angst than the original show..

I’m assuming you’re sending me this ask because of my recent burst of Danny Phantom art, so, it’s probably not a surprise to say I’m doing a certain amount of revisiting myself, and certainly not about to shame anyone else for it. It was a very dear cartoon to me in many ways and left some enduring hallmarks on my own writing, and I can absolutely understand people feeling the same way.

That said, as someone who’s been in this fandom for a while, albeit quietly- there certainly is a thread of macabre interest in fandom spaces, one I don’t always know that I agree with, especially when it comes to the Fentons.

My personal verdict on the Fenton parents specifically is I think they are not handled fairly by canon. This is a problem that Danny Phantom as a show shares with Fairly Odd Parents, though I would argue the Turner parents in FOP are quite a bit worse at this.

Roughly, I think how the Fenton parents are canonically depicted suffers from a phenomenon that affects many parts of the show: DP, as a series, has a bit of a sense of confused priorities between comedy and drama, and as a result, what’s 'real’ in-universe and what’s “just supposed to be a joke”. The kind of humor that DP tends to spring for is exaggerated or shocking behavior- it also tends to be a humor that hinges on the idea that other people are generally inconvenient to the main character. So humor-characterization is inconsistent here- Jack is negligent until it’s more inconvenient to depict him as overbearing (see: Girl’s Night Out and other cases he desperately wants to bond with Danny) he’s a recluse only loved by his wife until it’s more inconvenient to depict him as having an active social life (Masters Of All Time and that he and Maddie are going to a themed party so they’re dressed ‘weirdly’ in public)

A big victim of this is Jack’s sense that ghosts aren’t people and his desire to dissect them. Because here is the thing: it’s all talk, in the worst way. It hinges on the idea Jack- someone who knows enough of what he’s doing that along with Maddie and, in the past, Vlad- ripped two different holes in reality hard enough to permanently alter someone’s relation to undeath- has never seen a ghost before the series as he says in Mystery Meat.

The series has a big problem where it hinges on the Fentons’ inventions and expertise but also wants to treat them like idiots constantly. And if you notice how much I’m talking exclusively about Jack- that’s part of the problem. Maddie, in many ways, outside of episodes that throw her a bone, despite constantly being told by people she’s too good for Jack, is really treated as an extension of Jack. Masters Of All Time even suggests that her choosing Jack in the first place was just a path of least resistance between her two college friends, and she’d have married whichever one stuck around. 

The Fentons are not respected as experts, so Jack is given his ignorant line about dissecting a ghost. The Fentons need to remain exaggerated, ridiculous, an inconvenience to Danny- so they threaten his alter ego and point guns at him, but this is funny and not serious and not a reason to be worried about them as parents, because they are not on Danny’s level. Nobody is ever on Danny’s level. There is literally an episode called The Ultimate Enemy. The antagonist is an evil future Danny. The only person who could ever be Danny’s ultimate nemesis is Danny himself. 

And when the series stops milking the Fentons for jokes about how they’re so stupid and how Jack is an idiot and Maddie married that idiot but even she doesn’t respect him even though she loves him and dutifully follows him everywhere and god how can these people care about ghosts they’re so ignorant and out of their league- 

-then it kinda shuffles its feet awkwardly and goes, yeah. the Fentons love each other, and love their kids.

Yeah, Jack has framed photographs of Maddie, Jazz, and Danny on his personal workstation.

Yeah, in Mystery Meat Jack was seriously debating walking away from his lifework because it upset one of his kids. 

Yeah, every time in canon the Fentons find out Danny’s secret they’re immediately all in supporting him.

Yeah, even not knowing it’s Danny, Jack has an amiable conversation with him in Million Dollar Ghost and the ghost containment units designed by the Fentons get some jokes about that they’re a little cramped but they aren’t horrifying prisons of inhumanity- and as soon as Danny Phantom the ghost boy has a good point, Jack lets him go on purpose. 

Yeah, Jack is a competent ghost hunter who can take on Skulker and win as well as beat down the giant lake monster Skulker brought with him in Girls’ Night Out and would do this in a heartbeat, no jokes and no sidetracks, because that monster just chewed on his baby boy and nobody does that to his baby boy.

Yeah, Maternal Instinct is an entire episode of Maddie throwing hands with (or deceiving and manipulating) literally anything she thinks was responsible for getting Danny in this dangerous situation.

...And then the series says “but that’s not funny! Here, have jokes about the Fenton Stockades, that exist and have spikes and Jack wants to put his kids in them for time out, when the spikes apparently don’t hurt given Jack is not injured for being put in there. Here, have a joke about Jack attacking Jazz with a vacuum cleaner because he gets hellbent on the idea she’s possessed for no good reason. Here, have an uncomfortable joke about how badly Jack Fenton wants to vivisect a ghost while it screams. Funny funny funny. Why- why are you flinching?”

It basically creates a comedic situation where the show is constantly winding up like it’s gonna punch you- with the idea that the Fentons are bad parents and this has consequences for Danny and Jazz personally- and then laughs in your face if you flinch. It’ll never actually punch you- but it will sure keep swinging its hand really close to your face and laughing at your reactions.

This is, I’m just gonna say- one of the worst elements of the series, this weird relationship it has with “hahaha are we depicting an abusive family or not? ;)” where its actual point is that Jack Fenton is a person who should be shamed for being overzealous, for caring about this niche field, because nobody cares about ghosts! (unless the entire premise of the show does) Nobody wants to think about ghost science! That’s LAME! (unless Vlad does it)

So I think ultimately this creates a polarizing experience in the fandom. What part of this information do you take?

Do you take, say, my personal approach, which is: 

“Hey, so it’s pretty clear and consistent that the Fentons love their kids and wouldn’t hurt them. The Fentons are nice people. They can be obsessive or headstrong but there’s nuanced and salient ways to examine this in the basic framework that they care, both about their family specifically, and in general- and while I think they can have flaws or conflicts with their kids, and with ambient ghosts in the world, I really don’t think they’re in danger of torturing a sapient entity in their basement and it frustrates and annoys me that canon ‘makes a joke’ of them doing these things because it thinks they’re so incompetent that these things are not really malicious actions, when- whether or not you successfully shoot them, it takes a certain kind of person to point a weapon you know is dangerous at something that looks, and talks, like a fourteen-year-old, especially when you’re a parent who has probably at least once in your life worried about something happening to your kids, and the ghost of a teenager means something happened to someone’s kid, in a general sense.

So my end conclusion on the Fentons is I think they are being depicted in a kind of metatextual bad faith, that they are not cruel or malicious people, and in my personal take or understanding on the series, I’d massively dial down those elements, and if any remain, take them seriously as problems they have in their relationships with other people.”

Or do you take an approach more rooted in,

“If the Fentons are shown to be negligent parents they are negligent parents, I’m going to examine and depict them as that, and I find this very hard to forgive, so it’s going to have real and nasty consequences.”

Both are basically valid. The place where I tend to get a little uncomfortable is twofold:

First, I think sometimes people just really want some fictional tragedy to either create or consume, and to that end, you aren’t going to get much juicy drama out of the Fentons being reasonable people. This isn’t evil or unforgivable, but for me, it’s definitely my least favorite fannish content to create or consume. I’m no fan of angst for angst’s sake, and I feel like there’s enough misery and heartbreak in the world that I’m not interested in wallowing in it unless it’s got something interesting to say.

Second- and this is a point I’m gonna be saltier: A lot of abusive Fenton fics that refuse to forgive them for the poorer-taste jokes the series makes, simultaneously give Vlad a blank check, when he has done targetedly malicious things to Danny. 

Now- do I also have a more sympathetic read on Vlad, and feel like canon also gives him a bad rap? Yeah! But you can’t have it both ways. You can’t say, “I can’t forgive the Fentons for stuff that was tagged onto them because canon thought it was funny, but I’m gonna editorialize Vlad’s depiction to lionize him as the ideal parent figure for Danny to run into the arms of.”

And the main reason I get so worked up in this, is I feel like Jack in particular (when Maddie is characterized as subordinate to Jack, following his cues, etc., and that’s its own demon) is... characterized as kind of a mocking caricature of traits that I personally recognize as an autistic and ADHD person.

Because the reality is? In many practical ways, I am Jack Fenton.

I like a bunch of weird stuff people find unacceptable or gross, like bugs

I’m hyperlexic (that means I talk, a lot)

Scatterbrained, forget words or where I left something or, sometimes, to do something important

Passionate and excitable including and especially in situations where it’s not normal, or expected, to have this much energy

I absolutely can forget birthdays, even for people I love dearly that mean the world to me! It’s horrible! There’s almost nothing I can do about it! My brain refuses to hold onto this information reliably and no amount of caring fixes it.

And being this way, living like this? My worst nightmare has always been that people think I either don’t care or that I’m just too much of a stupid, flippant buffoon to get right.

The thing about Jack is he’s “a person like me” and he’s “a person like me” who was designed to be a joke. We’re clearly expected to view him as untrustworthy, stupid, just like a big dumb dog of a man who barks in the wrong directions, who sometimes, when it counts, fetches a stick like he’s supposed to. Good job, Lassie. You got little Timmy out of the well.

And I am going to say with certainty and confidence that feeling like this is how people see me is the most unbelievably crushing feeling I have ever experienced in my life. That my excitement and passion means I’m unprofessional, stupid, don’t know what I’m talking about. It’s nearly painful for me, as an adult, to watch Danny Phantom because the show can never get off Jack’s case. And the few times it does, he hauls overtime arduously to make a difference, to help, to build something that will protect others, to put his own life on the line to stop hostile ghosts.

And immediately, then he goes back to being stupid stupid dog man. ha ha. why does his wife love him? no wonder his kids don’t ever want to be seen with him. no wonder his best friend is trying to kill him and he doesn’t even know, the big idiot.

(never mind that we see a scenario where he does know. and admits he would’ve forgiven Vlad anyway. but he can’t forgive Vlad hurting Danny.)

So to rein in this wild tangent: I’m not saying all must love Jack Fenton and despair. I’m not even telling people to hide their angst. If I have a sincere request, it’s this:

If you’re inclined to thinking of Vlad as a cool, troubled, complex person (as I do!) and are haunted by the implications of The Ultimate Enemy specifically for Vlad, that when Danny lost everyone else in his life that Vlad really genuinely tried to help, and was not gloating and happy and victorious to have Danny as his protege, and when that went badly, he was haunted to the end of his days by not having been able to help-

-but immediately turn around and think Jack is just a rotten awful person who’d absolutely hurt his own kid in spite of canon to the contrary (when there’s just as much, if not more, canon of Vlad being willfully hostile)

It might be good to examine why you’re feeling this way, and if this might not come down to the fact that even when canon has people call Vlad a desperately lonely fruit loop, it has a lot more respect for him than it does for Jack, and this isn’t because it’s actually taking a stance against any of the qualities it gave Jack that someone might find disagreeable- it’s because Jack’s just “a big old fat idiot nobody likes, right?”

and that’s... not something comfy to buy into.

#Danny Phantom #readmore #long post #I have a lot of feelings about the fenton parents #and about how generally cartoons like to normalize child abuse in the context of jokes #and this creates a very upsetting similarity between parents who are otherwise characterized as good and reliable #but given these jokes anyway #and parents who genuinely seem really nasty #but it's tied up in a bow with 'it's Just A Joke' #Anonymous

[hintofcolor]

Things I’ve managed to convince myself are canon:

Dick was born in Romania and spent his entire childhood traveling with the circus not once settling down therefore when his parents died in America (supposedly just another country they stopped in) he was forced to stay there. Meaning dick was an illegal immigrant for a long time while Bruce constantly was trying to use his money and power to get Dick legal without him leaving the country OR anyone finding out

This also means Dick couldn’t really speak English when he moved in with Bruce (this is backed up by him constantly dismantling the English language in the YJ cartoon)

All of the bat kids were bullied brutally in school

Bruce encouraged them to fight back just like Alfred did with him (“never throw the first punch but if get hit make sure they’re the ones that stay down”)

Dick spent a couple weeks in juvie after his parents died and it was the worst couple weeks of his life

Dick had a childhood crush on Wally (who is straight) when dick was 16 he sat Wally down and told him. He told him he expected nothing out of this confession he just hated feeling like he was lying to Wally, Wally understood and was really nonchalant about it nothing changed in their relationship

Jason grew up loving wonder woman and considered her his greatest inspiration in being a hero when he was robin

In return Diana absolutely adored Jason

When Jason got older his respect for Diana only grew and Diana constantly stood up for him, even going as far as (subtly) threatening Bruce a couple times

Jason can’t handle the smell of drugs at all, he always has to wear a filtered mask during drug busts just in case

Jason used to smoke but ever since coming back the smoke just reminds him of the explosion (I saw this somewhere I can’t remember where shout out to you tho)

Jason hates the color green

Tim was severely neglected as a child

Tim learned multiple different languages from all the nanny’s he’s had

Tim is an amazing photographer

All of Bruce’s kids are really close with Selina and go to her to talk or just if they need a break from Bruce and she absolutely adores it

This is one of the main reasons Bruce wanted to marry her

Bruce might be a little awkward and socially inept but he is a good father and loves all of his kids and even tho he might slip up sometimes he would NEVER (I’m looking at you Tim king) NEVER EVER intentionally hurt one of his kids physically or mentally BECAUSE THAT IS EXTEREMELY OUT OF CHARACTER @ ANY WRITER WHO HAS MADE BRUCE A JERK GOD LEARN YOUR CHARACTER JEEZ

Damian is a phenomenal artist and is considered a prodigy

It is something he keeps to himself however

Both Dick and Tim have gone and worked under Selina during thier robin days for a few weeks

The only person who is close to Dicks level when it comes to acrobatics is Selina

There are days where you are only allowed to speak in your native tongue to help Everyone keep up their language skills (Tim speaks Filipino dick speaks Romani Jason speaks Italian Stephanie speaks Portuguese Damian speaks Arabic bruce switches Cassie speaks Chinese) these are the days duke feels like slamming his head through a wall

All of the bat kids have green lantern shirts

Tim has a habit of stealing clothes from literally anyone

Tim prefers tea over coffee

Ace and Titus are both trained service dog however Titus is Damians specifically while Ace is trained to alert Alfred of Bruce and to alert Bruce of Dick Tim and Jason

Bruce is think about getting another dog for Cassie steph and duke because he doesn’t want to overwhelm Ace with 3 more people

Nobody in that spoiled family except for Jason and Alfred can make ANYTHING other that ramen cereal and toast

Dick is insanely healthy because that’s how he grew up in the circus AND the manor

Bruce once lit the refrigerator on fire trying to cook. No one knows how. He denies he ever did such to this day

Dick was considered a heartthrob as a teen and actually was featured on vogue in native dress and took the opportunity to talk about his culture

Vickie was fuming but so was Lois

Dick dresses like Harry styles. Convince me otherwise. I dare you.

However his go to look is a Hawaiian short tucked into black skinny jeans and black converse

Just like Selina everyone in the batfamily has a tendency to confide in Dinah

No homophobia sexism or racism is allowed in the Wayne house hold if you display any of the following you will promptly be kicked out. It has happened before

Cassie has punched lex Luther in the face at a gala

Bruce laughed

Cass has also only worn sweats and a sports bra to a gala

Cass is a ballet dancer and likes teaching her brothers the moves she has learned

When Bruce came back from the dead and found out the justice league thought Tim was going insane with grief and didn’t do anything about it he yelled and screamed for a solid hour. Then he went silent. for weeks he didn’t say a word. It was the most terrifying he had ever been

Duke hangs on to the fact that he is the only meta allowed in Gotham with absolute pride

All the robins check in on the kids from the ‘we are robin’ movement every now and again just to make sure they are okay

Adults are terrified of the bats however children love them

Every member of the batfamily has been called over by child screaming out their window only to spend the next hour helping said child with their homework

Batman makes sure he is approachable to children he wants them to feel safe enough around him to ask for his help no matter what

That has led to him: 1. Patching up stuff animals 2. Calming down imaginary friends 3. Giving opinions on important matters such as which color is the best 4. Helping with homework 5. Trying to be persuaded into convincing the parents not to make broccoli anymore. It’s his favorite part about putting on a mask

Teenagers tho a little more hesitant also approach him with a little more serious matters and more for advice. (How can I help my friend with depression? How can I help my anxiety? I think friend is doing drugs how can I help. I don’t think these are good people I’m hanging out with but now I’m too scared to stop)

However if teens catch any bat sitting on a rooftop close to their windows they ask more stupid type of questions

“Hey nightwing how do you ask out a girl?” “Red hood I’m trying to write this book so hypothetically how long does it take some one to bleed out?” “If I payed you would you take my physical for PE for me?” “How good do you think you would do on the pacer test?” “Can you tell my little sister to shut up, she’ll listen to you?” “How much do I have to pay you to scare my friend?”

Talks between people and the vigilantes from rooftop to window happen a lot and it is always the highlight of the patrol. They like that the people of Gotham trust them.

Jason was brought back via whatever that superboy reset was (I’m still a little fuzzy, sue me) clawed his way out of his grave and then found by Talia. He was then but in the pit for his head injuries. Making it easier for the shadows to manipulate and brainwash him into hating Bruce. However that’s the only thing they manipulated him into. Jason didn’t go ‘insane by the pit’ and his thoughts and stances on killing are his own. And the way Bruce handles Jason being back is what made Jason continue hating Bruce even aged the brainwashing ‘wore off’

The day his dad died was what Jason considered the best day of his life

Dick is extremely intelligent and was considered a child prodigy (this isn’t a headcanon this is actually canon some of y’all just forget and need to be reminded)

Dick loves math (also canon)

Jason can sing. Like really really well.

Theater Nerd™️ Jason Todd

Jason is scared of thunderstorms

Damian is afraid of heights

Lady shiva absolutely adores Tim

They have all been arrested a few times each for varying reasons when they were teenagers

If Alfred or Bruce yell one thier full names the other kids will cover for them but ONLY if they use the full name other wise it’s every man for himself

I know this one isn’t batfam but I think kon playes the electric guitar and has a really unique punk-ish vibe type singing voice (think hobo Johnson)

Dick has naturally curly hair

#comics #dc comics #tim drake #damain wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #bruce wayne #bruce is a good dad #alfred pennyworth #selina kyle #wally west #birdflash #kon el

[emeralddarkness]

Hope you’re having an awesome day! 💖💖💖

Who is your favourite Batman, Joker, and Batman villain in general?

oh dang this is such a big ask. uh. UM.

Well for the cheap, easy answer - my favorite version for almost anything DC period is the version you find in the DC Animated Universe (which is a separate continuity for most of the 90s DC cartoons, not everything animated and dc), they just nailed distilling the characters down to their essence and then did a super good job with that essence. Batman and the Joker are two of the characters that they did absolutely nail in DCAU - Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill are the Definitive Batman and Joker and like that's just the tea. These are the guys I'd point to if you asked who the character was. But a favorite is a little harder, because there's so many versions that are just so fun. Adam West's Batman is an absolute riot to watch, itty bitty Bruce from the tv show Gotham is just as Dramatic as he should be, the comics (with the right writer) can be so subtle and caring and good, Lego Batman is such a ridiculous and loving parody of what Batman turns into when he's not in the right hands, i just. I really love Batman.

And shout out to my boi Terry McGinnis who might be the real answer for favorite, if I have to choose a favorite. I really really love Bruce but I also really really love Terry, who shines so bright even in the shadows.

I'm not really a Joker fangirl or anything like he's, ya know, fine and all, but often times he seems to trend in the direction of 3 edgy 5 me. I do think that the Tim!Joker from Return of the Joker was a really fascinating cool rendition. I also actually decided I really kinda dug the DCEU version with the tattoos and the grill in Suicide Squad, Leto's Joker, even though I super didn't care for him the first time I saw the movie. He was too bizarre, and deliberately bizarre - too many things that seemed to be there for people to look at and go 'oh how crazy, no normal person would have 'damaged' tattooed on their forehead, nobody would lay out spirals of knives and guns and baby clothes and dress their henchmen in panda costumes, this is all performative, since when has the Joker had being visibly crazy as part of the schtick he doesn't need to try to sell it is just sort of is.' Then things kind of clicked into place and my perspective shifted to yeah that's the point, that's what this version of the Joker is doing - it's freaking madness and crime as performance art, he does all these things to make people look at him and say 'wow he's crazy and that makes no sense' that's the point, and all that was confirmed for me in one of the extended cut's scenes where Harley confronts Joker and he explains that he's not someone you love, he's an idea.

so anyway that was super cool once I started looking at it that way, and suddenly it turned from an over the top and kind of dumb rendition into a guy who's lost track of when to stop acting and that's the madness here, that all the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players, Harley is half act and half audience. It made it unique and interesting in a way that wasn't a sliding scale to innocent trickster to psycopathic maniac who wears clown makeup, it was a new way to make him crazy and i am On Board after all that.

As to my favorite villain.... I dunno man. I don't necessarily dislike any, off the top of my head, but I'm less invested in the villains generally than I am in the heroes. Red Hood Prodigal Son Jason makes for some really interesting stuff with the dynamic of having been a member of batfam and kind of also still being a member of batfam but also he's not because he kills people now. Harley Quinn can be a ton of fun when she's done well, but she can also be turned into a sex bunny in a clown suit when she's not. Mr Freeze got a backstory makeover in btas that turned him super interesting and compelling after that. Catwoman is a lot of fun by herself, even if I do think that Batman/Catwoman as a relationship can tend towards slightly boring because all it ever is is trying to tempt each other over the line that they're always flirting with as a matter of habit just in general. Hush is interesting in a dark mirror kind of way (but not hush beyond oh my gosh that entire mini was so freakin dumb). I think the real favorite villain is the entirely cheater answer of Batman himself - like look at Tower of Babel. But in the end probably the real answer is that it kind of depends on how well they're being written. Basically all of them can be compelling, but if I was gonna buy a figurine and I had a choice of a batman villain or a batman hero i'd probably choose the hero.

#batman #dc #asks #whoops this got really long #i am one of 3 people who really likes the suicide squad movie #but you know what IT'S A FUN MOVIE