#they are a beautiful mess its so good

[heartorbit]

a new world together

#project sekai #emu otori #pjsk #prsk #proseka #colorful stage #HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMU!!!!! MY BAYABTBTBTHTBTB MY ITTY BOTTY MY SILLY WILLY DAUGHTER MY DESTROYER OF WORLDS. HANDS HER A SWITLY LOLLIPOP. #🍭FOR YOU MY BEAUTIFUL SON. I LOVE MY BESUTIFUL SON. #i make bday profiles for all of wondershow but I FEEL LIKE I DIDNT DO AS GOOD ON EMUS. IM SAD. T_T IT'S STILL CUTE BUT... HEEEM..... #WAAAAAH WAAAUAUAUAUAUGUGUUHGU WAAAAAH #UEUEUUEUEE T____T!!!!! #i had to spark her bday card. i ammdown to 2000 gems. darkness fes here i come. #IM SO SAD I HAVE TO SKIP EMUS PAINTER CAAAAAARD ITS SO CUTE I LOVE IT SO MUUUCH ill draw the outfit lots.... snimiffle. and hope it comes #to me during color fest. About to go play more splatfest i had to finish this while its still the 9th FRYESWEEEEEP PLEASE BE IN THE LEEEEAD #EDIT I LIEEEEED PAINTER EMU IS MIIINE EHEHEHYEJEYEHEHEYEHEY #Peaches and love on planet earth:) #EDIT OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY FOR RUSHING THIS TO GO PLAY SPLATFE ST I DIDNT REALIZE HER RIGHT ARM IS SO MESSED HELPME its fine shes perfect

[elialys]

Let me say this. I just finished rewatching Peter. Yesterday I somehow got through Jacksonville. I've never been this slow watching Fringe. I used to average 5 episodes a day during my previous rewatches, easy. Often a lot more. It was like a sport. "How fast can I get through the first half of season 4 hahaha!"

But it's been SIX YEARS. I hadn't let myself feel the fringe feels in 6 years. And it's hitting me all over again. Most of the time right now, I finish the episodes in tears, and I just sit there crying for five minutes, absorbing it all, because it's liked I've received an emotional punch to the gut.

I'M ONLY MIDWAY THROUGH SEASON 2

#im a fucking mess #but in a good way? #i love this fucking show so much??? #its so good and beautiful and flawed and glorious #pray for me though #fringe #fringe rewatch 2023

[bmpmp3]

the epic highs and lows of trying to read an ongoing shounen manga

#for me it uh. tends to have more epic lows than epic highs. im very unlucky with shounen #occasionally a few years after something i start reading it'll turn out to be good #but any time i follow something from the beginning it starts getting. worse #is it me? am i doing this? dont tell me to read your favourite shounen i'll turn it bad #did i ever mention that one manga. the moon is beautiful but first die #a mouthful of a title. it started kinda goofy but i really adored the main character for some reason #im still a bit attached to him. he cleans so well that he got the magic power to see real good. and now he can matrix bullet time #hes just like me for reeeeeeeaaaal hflkanjvdkfljfds but yeah that manga was. weird but fun BUT THEN #it got so wack you guys you dont understand. the first like one or two volumes? fun #everything else? god knows JHKFDJFDK i still read it all tho. i was invested in my guy with seeing real good powers #and im sorry to say. unfortunately it seems. a certain manga with a big tv adaptation that is pronounced oh she no co #my curse. its started. although that ones very much a epic high and epic low situation like itll be so so wack one minute #and suddenly get good again and then plummet back down HFKJDSBHJds we will see how it goes on #i started getting annoyed with the writing after the stageplay arc because they kept like. time skipping over so much #which i thought was a bit of a waste because there was a lot of interesting potential in a lot of the showbiz storylines. but we shall see #thats not shounen tho thats seinen but my curse applies to some seinen too LOL but most seinen i read is already finished #and shoujosei is spared from my curse. i think just because most i have the opportunity to read in english just tends to not #be drawn out or have weird scheduling things messing with the pacing. are there any weekly shoujosei magazines out there #i dont think weekly manga is good. for a lot of reasons mostly the mangakas health but also i find more weekly stuff i read #that isnt like. 4koma stuff suffers in its pacing a LOT. but again that might be my curse. the second i lay my eyes on it. the curse #(sorry ive been catching up on a lot of manga recently LOL ur getting my manga thoughts now)

[arthur-r]

turns out im down bad actually?? (have started comparing her to the moon)

#INSTINCTIVELY #like i was just thinking damn the moon is beautiful it’s ethereal and gorgeous just like [REDACTED] #had to stop myself and be like OH #anyway we had a sleepover last night we had a great time. i’m not gonna ever date her that would mess things up. but good to know how i feel #shdhddf anyway i’m in a weird position now i’m with some people who i felt like i should come hangout to be friendly but they’re just doing #homework and i left mine at home to be social but like i would really rather be in my bed rn i thought we were like hanging out for real #i’m so hungry though i might have that be my thing. sorry guys gotta go eat 😔 nothing to be done #also watched the most incredible lesbian movie yesterday it ruined itself with the ending but it was so iconic i really enjoyed it #it’s called kissing jessica stein!! and i highly recommend it. it’s a product of its time as far as bisexuality goes #but it was really close to being the best movie in the world minus like two scenes shdhdf #anyway wish me luck. love 💛 #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[biscuitscheesebiscuits]

Reading physical copies of The Queen's Thief series for the first time and realizing that the maps in them are inconsistent???

#the only map i'd really seen before was K's map to P in Thick as Thieves #but now looking at the map from the last story of Moira's Pen I'm like. wait. the empire is opposite in this one. #like according to K's map C and K generally move west in TaT but the other map has them moving east #it's not that big a deal to me bc i had to read the entire series twice to conceptualize where anything was #(bc i spent the whole of The Thief not realizing just how important every nation mentioned was. good move mwt you genuinely fooled me.) #but now that i thought i had it down i am once again thrown off #also the map that's referenced in Moira's Pen shows up in the physical copy of TaT? #the beauty of this series is that I NEVER would have guessed what was up in that story even had i seen the map beforehand #anyway all i wanted was to conceptualize where Roa was & now i'm like spiraling. like is K's map incorrect bc its from an imperial lens #which honestly? yeah absolutely (it makes the peninsula look so small) but also how would the mede empire have #conquered so much land with inaccurate resources even if it is for propaganda's sake #nothing in this series is accidental so i'm like *pepe silvia meme* #anyway this is just me trying to put my thoughts somewhere ignore me my tags are a mess #The Queen's Thief #The Queen's Thief spoilers #like not exactly but since everything is spoilers i'm tagging that just in case #Thick as Thieves #Moira's Pen

[salsflore]

ummmm

#oh mika there is beauty in life~ look at your future! everything will be worth it in the end~ #my favorite image on this device btw ^ #cw negative #cw vent #you know where this is going. apologies my mind is a mess and i really just need to get it out because i find its better than- #-writing a semi formal email to that One (1) emotional support organization and i’m afraid to make a call so #but i just genuinely believe things would be better off if i weren’t alive. a bit of a silly thing to jump to i know but #my tuition fees aren't cheap and i'm not even that great of a student or a daughter or a sister and i- #-have no talents or remarkable feats. i’m not impressive in any way. and i hate hearing shit about how ^_^ its okay! we all have something- #-special about ourselves! for example maybe you have really good hand writing and thats good enough ~ but that doesn't work for me because- #-i have nothing. my handwriting isn't good my singing isn't good i'm not artistically gifted i don't have some random affinity for puzzles- #-i'm not charming or somehow really good at calculation or super creative or a really comforting friend i really have nothing at all #i don’t want to die. i have no plans on doing that sort of thing anytime soon— don’t misunderstand me #i just wholeheartedly believe i don’t deserve to be here anymore not because i’m not loved. i just can’t stand myself and my teenage years- #-feel so long and i'm so fragile how much longer do i have to tolerate. i'm contributing nothing. why should my family have to feed and- #-clothe a burden like me who provides nothing. why should my friends care for someone like me. i’m not really that funny or sweet or great- #-with advice giving or pretty or helpful in any way. why is it that life is genuinely easier for others. what did i do? what can i do? #how much longer must i tolerate this? would you believe me if i said i really did try to change my mindset this time? #i have no one in real life to talk to. therapists are pricey and i don’t think mine was helping me in any way anyways. she was nice though #so every night i sleep hoping i wake up somewhere else. somewhere where i'm happier and i can live all my silly fantasies where i'm a fun- #-and lovely person who has everything she wants and nothing goes wrong ever!! #how much longer must i hang onto the little things. i’m in such an exruciating amount of pain that i want to kill myself without dying? lol #everyone repeats the same stuff. get bit #i can't rely on the joy of having coffee every morning or persevere for the sake of seeing cute cats on insta. nothing will ease the burden

[pettyprocrastination]

the moment my early christmas gift of these amazing boxers come in i will dub them my writing shorts and wear them around the house for the entirety of my winter break as I attempt to finish my novel 

#tj talks #these are...the greatest things i have ever seen in my life. theyre perfect #im so excited for these to come in its embarassing you guys #pls imagine me in my house hair a mess struggling to write that demon dick goodness while wearing these beauties. because thats gonna be me #for the rest of december

[the-kipsabian]

.

#im fine. i think #i got told at work by a very mean old lady today about things that werent stuff i was responsible for #usually this happens in emails or on the phone. this is the first one face to face #she got. excuse my wording in the lack of a better one. triggered cause she was rewarded a coffee mug #a beautiful locally made handpainted one at that #cause she wasnt allowed to pick out another prize as everything else was picked out before she got here as things were given out at first #come first serve basis. which wasnt something i had control over so like?? #she also both demanded to know who were the 'best volunteers' and then said it didnt matter to her like #lady you most definitely know its you why do you want me to push your ego so bad #anyways there was a lot. she talked down to me like fifteen minutes. straight to my face about things i have no control over #and apparently im dumb for just following instructions cause im a worker?? #i had a breakdown after she was gone #im still reeling a bit tho my coworker helped me calm down as i just cry laughed at her about the absurdity of this whole situation #thank god she said shes done being our volunteer now and we wont see her again. and shes gonna give my boss a piece of her mind too #im so tired fam i need to lay down and be buried under something heavy #thank god i can leave in like ten minutes and finally watch dark for that Good Content #sorry i had to pour this out of my brain im tired #there was a lot more than this there tbh im just. fuck #night is an absolute mess on main

[fugglecases]

hrnnnggg fictional characters making me go insane

#this is for me and only me but the esen/ouyang ma/zhu anakin/obi-wan kuruk/friends brainrot is all compiling into one mega slam #its the i hate you i love you i can only kill you if i hug you #its the im going to walk with you every step of the way in this murderous glorious path forward and i am going to force you to see the pain #you cause and set in motion by wearing it on my skin and you /love/ me #and i will force you to remember every drop of innocent blood you spill because its going to hurt me so badly. also i love you. #its you were my brother! its i have to teach this desert child how to swim and i have to teach him that the world is a beautiful place #its looking at your friends and knowing what love is. life was good. it was simply good and the world was a wonderful place. #its seeing the parts that start to corrupt you and keeping it from your friends because it cant be allowed to touch them. #theyre too good. theyre simply good people. #its about devotion!!!! its sickening!!!!!!!!!!!! #x #GOD WE MIGHT AS WELL ADD THE ETERNAL FLINT/BARLOW MESS TO THIS. #we loved the same man and we loved each other and we hate each other for what has happened #and yet i cant not love you because not loving you would be like not loving him #and youre the only living piece of him left. #and youre the only person in the entire world who had the exact same noose around your neck. #oh im sick...

[m0e-ru]

with crazed wide eyes hands gripping armrests are you reading volume twelve of the manga are you reading volume twelve of the manga are you reading vollume twoelce ofthe mnaga areyour eadinf volume twelve ofth the manga are y

#kommento #// the way sogabe actually made an adachy i care about (derogatory) #// the way he draws him is so.....perfect that i get so redheaded seething fuming mad with one panel like sensei has SKILL to trigger #// an immediate so very specific violent response from me #// like all other adachis are. well the animes looked so sickly and ugly as shit. rokusai was too marble eyed pretty it was a bit weird #// the game portrait is. well. it has its own feeling associated with it but it's not good either. #// sogabe's is just so.... it's right for me. I'll admit reading vol12 was a treat aside from getting headachingly mad over the plot itself #// the art is wonderful the choreography was a bit choppy but it was beautiful. his take on adachis friendship with souji was like. its so #// it's so good to me HIS TAKE ON MAGATSUIZANAGI MHHNGGGGNH snapping a pencil in my grip #// still mad at the adoptions messing up the amesa part but. whatever. idc anymore i think the game was swag #// sogabe.... sogabe .!!!!!! whys your adachi someone i actually want to look at !!!!!!!! THE AUDACITY #// i was just supposed to crack open the manga for references. adhd behaviour

[ultramanyaoi]

hi i wanted to make fun of robot laserbeam again

to preface i think robot laserbeam is super pathetic. there are a few cool concepts but the pacing sucked, golf is boring and the main character is like a bad lovechild between kuroko and saiki except i feel like fujimaki didnt know what he shd go w his protag in terms of story direction.

im p sure fujimaki didnt intend to copy past character designs but like robot laserbeam failing to even have unique characters from fujimakis previous work makes it seem even more like a pathetic self parody of kurobas with its flashy moves and lookalike. its no secret the protagonist n his would be rival look more or less like aokuro but look at the rest of the seniors in roboto's school (who mind u for all the flashy introductions turn out to be completely irrelevant w a years long time skip lol) at least the girls r kinda cute ig :/

yea fujimaki this totally doesnt look like u just put hayama and kise together and called it a day. and thats totally not ibara saegusa and hanamiya fused tgt.

#ariel.txt #i genuinely forgot robato (horrid name btw) was wasian #AND A GINGER #fujimaki being unable to think of another plot outside of guy defeats a line of powerful ppl w superpowered sports abilities and making the #7 wonders: yea no one will be able tot ell #the blatant yaoi undertones r also rlly hilarious cuz like tbh knbs success may partially due to fujoshis but i promise fujoshis also have #brains and like good stories #ITS SO LIKE FUNNY HOW PATHETIC AND WHAT A MESS OF A SERIES IT IS.. like u cant even go what a pity. the only thing i feel p sad abt is that #fujimakis art is undeniably beautiful so i feel sad abt not seeing more of it

[strwbrymlkshake]

literalyl insane if my dumb feelings don't go away I'll have to start a normal normal rant tag for him I think –_–

#mine #i feel so bad i havent talked to anyone except my group thats involved in my hyperfixation recently uwagh #i will try to take a break tomorrow. hyperfixation doubled with guy im kind of obsessed with creates literally no time for anything else #im still taking care of myself while being so fixated i cant move for several hours. good on me for that #anyways anyways i tried not to be deranged today. not even fathoming romance atm im just happy i get to be around him teehee #made me rly think about how hes been very chill with everything ive ever said to him even tho i am a little freak . which is uncommon #i am not daydreaming about it because itll break my fucking heart but im content for now i think :) i like hanging out with him #'im normal about him' proceeds to talk abt him on my yandere blog. #im not feeling yanderish i just dont have another place to talk abt this stuff so here it is! bon appetite #im not rly freaking out as much and im good at distancing myself from him. even tho idk if anything will happen im trying to #practice controlling my insane person feelings when around him ;-; im doing good i THINK i havent been as weird #my thoughts around him are all weird and distorted and not quite romantic (yet?) but i know that i just feel comfortable w him #im:) im happy im enjoying. watch him get a partner immediately after this and i go batshit bc that is my freakin luck #well it doesnt matter i had a good time while i could and thats what counts ig . had only a smidgen of hope anyways! but its ok #i am so jaded to romance i am going to accept whatever happens and hope its atleast funny . and he finds humor in it #n i would get to hear his horrid laugh. itd be nice. i like it its very contagious. his voice maxes my brain out in serotonin #he was messing around w me in [hyperfixation] and i really enjoyed the attention hwuwhidhekfn made me flustered #i was saying like Romantic CodedTM things to him and he was just giving indecisive responses but not elaborating . so who knows #im not fretting or anything like its fun its chill i feel relaxed !! very casual stuff am having a good time. he has beautiful eyes also. #hes so talented and knows what hes doing. and hes so freaking smart he knows so much stuff oh my god. #i keep having repeated dreams abt him its weird fjdjfjdk. normal things to say abt ur friend btw. normal #i think his fascination w [redacted] is so beautiful his memory is rly good too. im NORMAL i swear #i like to cause spectacles that are memorable and funny so he pays attention to me more. i like attention from everyone but his is esp. fun #i love my friends so much i tell them that i appreciate them everyday. i hope they know they are loved so much #i probably just love the side of himself he chooses to show n not his authentic true self bc online stuff oh well #tho i do feel if you spend an ungodly amnt of hrs straight with someone then you are bound to know them more intimately #i love doing absolutely nothing with my friends and make our own fun in boredom. reminds me of my childhood #maybe i am allowed to think abt him awkwardly patting me on the head. as a treat #this guy reminds me of a previous love interest too except he doesnt emotionally abuse me or himself and has a freaking soul #💿

[thedragonemperess]

I need the & Juliet soundtrack injected directly into my veins and if that doesn't work I need it lazered into the forefront of my brain

#marankton speaks because why not #& juliet #specifically i want it that way when the guitar kicks in and every single song lance is in #THE WAY ANNE SAYS 'drink that koolaid' IN THE BROADWAY VERSION LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT FREE FOREVER #'tonight were taking names cuz we dont mess around' SLAY GIRLIEPOP #and juliet #&j #the amount of pure serotonin and giddiness that comes with listening to teenage dream/break free is unmatched #and the POWER that is both larger than life and its my life????? #immaculate #AND THAT'S ONLY THE FIRST ACT #DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE ABSOLUTE BLAST IT IS TO BE LIKE 'its gonna be MAY' AND THEN IT WAS M A Y #THE STRAIGHT CHILLS I GET LISTENING TO THE I CANT FEEL MY FACE/PROBLEM MASH UP???? #EVERY DAMN TIME BBG #THE I WANT IT THAT WAY REPRISE???? GIMME A MAN LIKE WILLIAM RIGHT NOW #AND DU BOI BAND'S BACK ALRIGHT 🗣️🗣️🗣️ #anyway #sorry im having a decently good time right now its weird that doesnt usually happen #edit: im not done #i always forget they threw a fucking adam lambert song in there and its always such a nice surprise #one more try????? BEAUTIFUL NO COMPLAINTS #and im not a girl not yet a woman is like so ???. i wanted to cry while watching it and almost cried when listening to it on the soundtrack #and youre right juliet i am feeling sexy and free youre so right lets get out of here #AND ONCE AGAIN THE FUCKING FULL BODY CONSISTENT CHILLS I GET LISTENING TO BLOW???? I WANT TO LIVE IN THAT FEELING

[natsgotagun]

tag dump.

#caffeine fueled hyper fixation 《 ooc 》 #this is your captain speaking 《 important 》 #you know where to find me 《 memes 》 #she is beauty she is grace she will shoot you in the face 《 visage 》 #say that again i didn't quite hear ya 《 ism 》 #messed with the wrong bitch in the wrong era 《 musing 》 #two can keep a secret if one of them is dead《 aesthetic 》 #good girl gone got a gun from a gangster 《 headcanon 》 #it's a new dawn its's a new day it's a new life for me 《 v.main 》 #trading widow bites for a badge 《 v.911 》 #the world belongs to the dead 《 v.zombies 》 #you took to me so well 《 marvelmyriad 》

[hivepixels]

.

#karkat ily #karkat #mumblings #karkaaaaaaaaaaat #karkat kiss kiss #once there was a troll with many silly friends who needed to be loudly & forcefully corralled together in order for their session's success #and he had a very good friend sollux with op brain and op powers who could polish up the meteor's tech for the team #neither of them knew what they were doing they were just cluelessly bumbling around acting competent and above it all #but in reality they were equally as silly as the others‚ getting caught up & distracted messing about in various relationship nonsense! #sollux plays into the hand that distributes the game and karkat mishandles their rewarded universe with cancer! #meanwhile in the background aradia “ . ” and allows them to make the precise mistakes necessary for the timeline to proceed #ITS SO EMBARRASSING FOR THEM theyre wracked with guilt and shame!!!!!!!!! clapclapclap beautiful progression fantastic performance

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

one reason i'm grateful a) to have been getting into treating my meta as An Art Form as much as fanfic/art/etc, and b) that there's an import function for that on AO3, is that i write very little prose these days, and Actually Having Substantial Things to Post helps me get past the stumbling block of 'well there's nothing much worth going to the trouble for anyway, is there' to the 'alright let's address all the other baggage that makes using AO3 so emotionally fraught for you bud' step (staircase.)

#whosebaby talks #for one thing i met my abusive ex through reading his fics on AO3 for years before we *actually* met and started interacting directly #more specifically me and my *other* abusive ex were fans of his during that time; and gushed a lot to each other in private about his fics #and Indirect Interaction with Ficwriter Crush Through Posting Fic to AO3 was one of the things that *got* us both posting on AO3 for a whil #that's not remotely the only reason i have baggage about it but. yeah. #it has taken me like four years to get to the point where i can *mostly* look in the AO3 tags for any given fandom i'm in #without feeling panicky or sick. mostly. #and not having had anything i felt able or up to posting there for so long means right now the bulk of my current stuff on AO3 is either #'hey remember when you were in an abusive/otherwise hideously toxic friendship/relationship while you were posting this' #or 'hey remember when you were involved in a fandom community that was positive + supportive; that's dead now or you wandered away from it' #'or both; and now it's too late to go back' #which itself is just. tied to a lot of trauma from *before* Fandom as It is These Days Being Its Current Flavor of Fucking Mess #and there are a lot of years-old lovely comments on my old fics that i feel deeply guilty for not having responded to before now #which it's probably not too late to and that's the beauty of AO3. but just. it's a lot #as well as the constant voice whispering in my ear that 'okay well you were pretty good at writing Once but you peaked and now you're shit' #there's a Lot. so yes i am hoping that having meta to post will help put a little distance there #while still preserving my old writing and the snapshots of who i used to be #because she deserved that much; regardless of how the person i am now feels about her; and the evidence that she was there. #anyway. this post brought to you by found a bunch of glowing recs for my exes' fics i had completely forgotten in my dusty AO3 bookmarks #it was an unpleasant surprise but after the initial OH EW that they were there all that time it feels good to know that it's gone #personal stuff #abuse cw #the salt files