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redisaid · 11 months

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Sad Machine

After (Part 1 of 2)

Don’t look over here. This isn’t BotW/TotK. This isn’t my only straight ship that got some sad easter eggs in the new game. This isn’t in second fucking person.

That’s a lie. It’s all a lie. Oops, this is Zelink sad introspection written in second person. I got the first line caught in my head and it spiraled.

There will be a part 2 when I finish TotK, because honey we need to talk about the [redacted]. Tiny spoilers for TotK in here, mostly regarding what you find out about Zelda in Hateno.

I promise I will get back on Blue Moon soon.

5325 Words

Read it on Ao3!

I don't know much about your life beyond these walls The fleeting sense of love within these God forsaken halls And I can hear it in his voice in every call This girl who slept a hundred years has something after all

He is all you have.

You’ve known this fact for such a long time that it resonates in your very bones. Funny, how odd it feels to have bones again. But as you stand before him, descending in a beam of light, born anew from triumph as he was, but minus the scars, all you can ask him is, “Do you really remember me?”

He seems to think about the answer for a while. Eventually, he nods.

You both know it’s a lie, but you laugh the creakiness from your lungs and you embrace him.

You held him only once before, as he lay dying in your arms. That one final failure that was too much to bear, enough to bring out the goddess in you. It still stings that this was all you could give him, a promise he would be okay, even as he slipped away, and a blinding light you still didn’t understand.

He holds you too. Whether out of attachment or relief or something else, you don’t know. You never really did, and now it is even more complicated. He held you once before too, only once, but does it count? Was this even the same Link?

You collapsed then, falling into him with bitter tears. Your friends were dead. Your father too. He was all you had left, and all you could do for him was blame yourself. Link didn’t even argue, but he held you as he cried. He didn’t say anything to assure you, but steadied you to your feet again, and held your hand as you ran and ran.

You didn’t deserve his sympathy, even then. You were so callous and cruel to him. You treated him like furniture--ugly, unwanted furniture. He was always in the room and always a reminder that you were not what you should have been. He followed you dutifully, and you just wanted to be alone.

Now you cannot imagine what will happen if he lets you go. If you let him go.

Eventually, it happens. The sun wanes and Hyrule Field smells of flowers, and there is a future to consider. Despite having fought for it with every ounce of your being, you have not considered it.

Link whistles for his horse and helps you onto her back. He rides and you do not ask where he is taking you. For once, you learn from his silence.

You cling to his waist until you reach Kakariko that night.

You sleep in Impa’s granddaughter’s bed. Or try to, at least. You have forgotten what it’s like to have a body and do not understand its needs. But you do know that the way Paya blushes at Link makes you feel something ugly that you cannot name, will not name. Before, you would very much want to name it, to research it, to pin it down and know it.

Now, you are not sure.

When you ask where Link will stay, Impa doesn’t seem concerned. He shrugs his answer.

You find him outside, sitting on her roof. The moon is full but doesn’t bleed red. You have no warning for him, no dark prophecy. He cannot sleep and neither can you. Both of you have forgotten how to rest.

He looks down at you, his eyes the same blue that could be anything, mean anything. You hated him because you never knew what he was thinking, so you assumed it was that he was better than you.

You fell in love with him after you asked him what he really thought. Why he was so silent in his vigilance.

He answered you, voice so quiet it was almost a whisper. He was afraid to speak. He was afraid to show weakness. He was afraid of being anything less than what he was supposed to be.

He was just like you.

You wonder, is he still?

You break the silence between you once again. “Can’t sleep?” you ask.

He shakes his head and looks to the whiteness of the moon. He turns back to you when you have nothing else to say, and helps you climb onto the roof with him.

You think, as you lay next to him there, that you may still be the same. Different, changed, scarred in not so similar ways, but the same.

You don’t question it when you wake up in Paya’s bed again in the morning. You know how you got here. You know why it was you calmed enough to remember how to sleep. And you know the honeyed apples Impa offers you for breakfast didn’t come from her. You still remember Link’s cooking, after all.

It goes on like this for days. The Sheikah treat you with both respect and awe and like you are a sickly invalid. Impa nags you like someone’s mother, and you realize that she is twice over. Link is around. He’s always around. He is always close by, actually. But he leaves you alone.

He does remember proper etiquette, you realize. Or maybe it’s instinct. He is close enough to defend you, but not to eavesdrop. Prepared to die for you, but not to touch you. He is ready, what for you are not sure, though Impa takes note one day and says it’s a good thing, because surely the Yiga still want both of you dead.

You say nothing to him. At night, when you cannot sleep, you find him. He is not far away. He is never far away. He watches the fish swim in the pond by the Goddess statue. You sit next to him under the tree beside it, and sleep.

He hands an apple to the Korok by the frog shrines that only you two seem to be able to see. When the creature makes a gleeful sound at the gift, you laugh unbidden for the first time since you came to Kakariko. You fall asleep next to an empty offering bowl.

You dream of the day you left him, entrusting his barely breathing body to Purah. It was a challenge to carry him that far, but somehow, you managed. He was shorter than you, but heavier for the density of his muscle. His blood stained your prayer dress, drying brown as mud, but you didn’t care. You had a job to do. You understood your purpose, finally.

You entrusted his sword to the Deku Tree, and a message, knowing that it might mean very little to him when he wakes. You understood that you must both make sacrifices to do what must be done, and the fact that he might wake not knowing you is the embodiment of all of that. Then, the picture of your triumph was so clear, so certain. It was worth waiting for.

The next night, he holds you again, and after this third time, you will soon lose count.

Impa tells you that you should let the people know who you are, and rally them to rebuild your nation, your court. The thought makes you lose your appetite for the creamy carrot stew that Link made for all of you. Even Paya seems to understand the severity of your silence and excuses herself from dinner.

Impa insists, “It must be done.”

Link finds you this time, crying in Paya’s bed. You don’t know when you started crying. It feels shameful and silly, even more so to be caught. But Link has seen you do more shameful things than this.

Hating him, of course, was the worst thing you’ve ever done.

When he speaks to you, it’s still soft and low. He can speak. He does have his voice. Just as before, he mostly saves it for you. “We don’t have to,” is all he says.

You start to protest. Of course you have to. Of course you do. It is your kingdom, after all. It is what you worked to save. It lies in ruins and you sit here crying over the thought of ruling it.

But Link reminds you that it isn’t just you. “We don’t have to,” he said. Because it would be you and him. Him guarding you as you sat in the ruins of your father’s throne.

But he is all you have.

“We have to,” you insist.

Link shakes his head. “Not yet.”

He leaves a note for Impa in messy handwriting you can’t recall having seen before. You usually did the writing, the communicating. Tonight, he does it for you.

He does a lot for you. Has done a lot for you.

You ride on Link’s horse, clinging again to his waist, under the waning moon. He takes you up, up, into the hills. To Hateno.

You arrive in the morning and no one seems to know who you are or particularly care. A little boy runs up to Link and asks him to show him his sword. A farmer waves to him. The woman outside of the general store asks him if he needs anything. An odd young man stares at you, but then goes to Link and mumbles a thank you to him for a favor he dares not name.

Link waves them off. He responds, quiet and polite, but clearly trying to get them to leave. He guides the horse as you sit atop it. You feel funny, out of place in a time where people do not remember you, or understand what you have done for them, gleaming white in your prayer gown, unstained as the moon.

You need different clothes.

He brings you to a house you recognize. Link himself never volunteered this information, of course, but another guard pointed out that he lived there as a boy, once, before his family moved to the castle to serve there.

You wonder if he remembers.

The house is small. The house is old. Link stables the mare and you wait for him outside. He opens the door for you, but lets you go in first.

It is a simple cottage, lined with treasures untold. Mipha’s trident. Revali’s bow. Daruk’s hammer. But it’s Urbosa’s sword and shield that bring you to tears.

That, and the fact that the table is set for two.

Link holds you again and says nothing. This is where you lose count.

He lets you go after a while, and goes outside. He comes back with a simple rice bowl topped with salted meat, and you eat it at the place he’s kept for you. You don’t ask him if he remembers this house. You’re pretty sure he doesn’t. But he remembers your favorite comfort food.

You tell him you need new clothes. He nods and keeps eating.

There’s only one bed, you discover later on. But you do like the sturdy writing desk in the loft, and the framed picture you remember taking with your friends, your Champions. Only you and Link remain.

He is all you have.

You are tired from riding all night. Your body begs you to rest. Your mind knows that Link has given you an opportunity to do so that Impa would not.

Still, you protest, “I can’t take your bed.”

He shakes his head, then realizes he’s going to have to speak to get his message across, “It’s okay.”

“Where will you sleep?”

He shrugs an answer.

You think, maybe, that the place setting was not for you. You think, maybe, that Link didn’t plan for the future either. You think, maybe, that neither of you knows how to live happily ever after.

“You’re not going to take no for an answer, I see?” you half ask, half conclude.

Link nods.

The sheets smell like him. You lay down and give up. He’s never asked you for anything, and now he only asks you to rest where he knows it is quiet and safe.

You let him walk away. One step. Two. The third is unbearable.

You reach for his hand, and pull him back.

You do not name what you feel when he lays beside you, when he holds you again. This time, you do not cry, but in addition to that nameless feeling, there is a weariness and a grief that is beyond tears. You feel it in him too, in the way he breathes shaking breaths into your shoulder.

You sleep into the evening. The sun is red as the moon once was when you wake. Link is gone, but he’s close by. You can hear him humming as he cooks outside.

There are new clothes folded on the foot of the bed. You change into them. The trousers are too short for you, but otherwise fit fine. The tunic is soft, but baggy in the shoulders. When Link returns with meat skewers and fruit cake, you realize these are his pants. His clothes. His house. His food. His bed.

He is all you have.

You don’t mind it. Neither does he. He won’t tell you that, of course, but you know.

A part of you feels you should be ashamed. But you’re not.

You are too tired for that.

“Did you sleep too?” you ask Link over a bite of cake.

He nods.

“We’ll both use the bed,” you offer as your royal decree.

He nods again.

You sleep beside him for a week before you ask him to cut your hair. You don’t have anyone else to ask, and he won’t say no. He won’t ask why you feel an overwhelming need to do this.

You feel like you’re treating him like furniture again for a moment, but realize that you would never trust furniture with this.

Only Link.

He cuts your hair with the Master Sword. When you ask him why, he actually answers.

“It stays sharp,” is his reason.

He slays your hair like it’s an ancient evil. You feel cleansed and light, sitting backwards on a chair outside the house, amongst the flowers. You watch the blonde strands blow away in the wind.

“Cut it shorter,” you tell him.

He does.

Your hair is shorter than his now, and you love it.

You comb his out that evening, untangling it from a worn blue tie. It is still wild and ragged, loose over his shoulders. You put the tie in the pocket of the pants you took from him, and ask him if he has another one, as this one is well past its prime. He does, and you tie it up neatly for him again.

His heart beats you to sleep.

You wake in the morning to a letter from Impa, saying that she and Purah will visit tomorrow. The boy who delivers it to you has no idea who these people are, what they have done, what they have sacrificed. Neither does he for you and Link.

But he is nosy enough to ask, “Who is your friend, Link?”

Link looks at you to answer, sitting at his kitchen table, with your short hair and borrowed clothes.

You don’t know the answer yourself.

So just, “Zelda,” must suffice.

The youth is content with that answer, knowing not what the name means, what fate it decided for you.

Link watches you as you read the letter. He reads your face to know what it says, but you tell him anyway.

“I can tell them to go. Tell them you’re sick,” he offers, in his quiet way.

You’re the one that shakes your head this time. “No,” you add, “I’m all right. It has to be done.”

Link should nod but he doesn’t. He just looks at you and understands. He knows. You know. Both of you are used to doing the right thing, even if you do not want to.

You know now that you do not want to be Hyrule’s Queen. You want to sit in Link’s house and eat his food and brush his hair and listen to him hum. You want the children only to know you as Zelda and nothing else. You want to watch people thank Link for saving their chickens, not knowing that he’s saved them all from something far worse than a loss of poultry.

But you also know that you don’t get to have the things that you want. Not now, not always. You know, though, that you can carve out spaces for them, times and places.

You can start to rule your kingdom from Link’s bed, still, soothed to sleep by his breathing.

Purah is a child and Impa is ancient, and they are both about as old as you, even though you still look seventeen. Somehow, this makes sense. Purah hugs you with her tiny arms, but then clings to Link’s legs until he gives her a pose and a little laugh.

They bring you clothes that look like yours from before, but are newly made. All royal blue and royal seals and triforces and fine tailoring. You don’t want them, and prefer how Link’s pants stop just short of your ankles, and how his tunics are loose around your shoulders.

They have tea at the table and say nothing about the two place settings and the one bed. Link makes them risotto, Purah’s favorite. Purah plans and Impa nods along. You are as silent as Link as you drink your tea and listen to them.

“Nothing to say, Princess?” Impa asks after a while. “You’ve been with Link too long. Where are your words?”

It takes you weeks to find them.

Hateno is thriving, so far away and so little affected by the Calamity. You venture out into the fields, walk along the creeks and ponds. You watch the windmills spin. You pet a friendly cow. When anyone asks who you are, your answer is just “Zelda, a friend of Link’s” and there are no further questions. Link is trustworthy, and has proven himself thus. You are assumed to be the same.

One day, you are feeling up to the general store. Link gives you rupees, and you try not to think how strange it is to be taking money from him, or why money is where you mind draws the line when you wear his clothes, sleep in his bed, and eat his food.

But you take his rupees anyway, and you walk to the general store. You buy rice and milk, and you ask the clerk where the children go to school.

There is no school. There is no education. There is no history or science. The man at the counter tells you he taught his children to read and write and add and subtract and how to run the shop.

“That’s all they need to know,” he tells you.

“But there’s so much more,” you say.

You find your words, telling Link that the state of education in this town is unacceptable and must be corrected. You plan. You ask questions. He nods and whispers answers. Eventually, he smiles at you.

“What?” you ask him.

He shakes his head.

You keep talking, even in bed. You don’t remember falling asleep. The next morning, the contractor Link told you about is waiting for you downstairs. Link makes him tea and a fruit pie. Probably also his favorite.

You spend the day designing the village school with him, while Link is not so far away, easily being heard chopping wood, catching frogs in the pond, and making a spicy curry for lunch--his favorite, you remember. He laughs when Bolson can’t handle the spice despite best efforts, and steams a nice, mild fish for him instead.

You are proud to say you can handle Link’s spicy curry just fine. You remember the last time he made it for you, when you were going up to Mount Laynaru in your thin prayer dress. He didn’t want you to be cold.

He is all you have.

You find his hair tie in your pocket when you do laundry in the pond. You don’t know how to do laundry, but you can figure it out. Link probably knows and would do it for you if you asked him or even if you didn’t, but he’s been asked to run something up to the lab for Purah, and you wanted to try to do something for yourself. So you sit with your bar of soap and let your legs dangle in the water as you scrub.

You keep the hair tie and find another place to hide it. He knows you took it, so it seems silly, but you hide it anyway.

The children know you only as Zelda. They don’t know what a school is, but you try to explain it to them. You try to tell them it is an exciting thing, to learn, to know more.

They don’t like the prospect of sitting inside for hours on end, but their parents seem appreciative of the project.

Purah visits weekly to talk about big plans and eat a bowl of risotto. One day, she knocks at the door and is not a child anymore. Nor is she an old woman. She looks about the same as she did before the Calamity, but maybe a touch older. When you ask how she managed that, she merely says it’s too complicated to explain and talks about building towns and towers and technology and how to make Hyrule a kingdom again.

She talks about moving on. She asks where you will go next.

There are many places you will go, but you know you want to come back here. So you don’t answer her, because that’s more complicated than however she managed to manipulate her age.

You, Purah, and Link are all right around one hundred and seventeen years old, sitting around your table. You’re all too young to buy a bottle of wine, but too old. You joke to Purah that she should have added a few more years for that purpose alone. She looks at you funny when you laugh, but agrees.

She has Symin bring you a bottle of wine the next day. You don’t even want it and Link shrugs, laughing as he mutters something about Gerudo Town. You get him to tell you stories, sometimes, of things you already know. Things you watched him do. Moments where you entertained yourself with his freedom in your imprisonment.

He was all you had, after all.

Link isn’t all you have, not anymore. But when you agree to go to the ruins of Castle Town and try to plan out a restoration project with the Sheikah, the understanding that he is coming with you is unspoken and unnecessary. Of course he is.

On the way there, you catch a beautiful golden mare for yourself, with his coaching. The thrill of riding her is incomparable, even after you’ve saved the world. But you miss your arms around Link’s waist all the same. But he grins as you ride beside him, confident and sure in your ability to keep your mount steady, as he’s now taught you to be.

Robbie meets you with the others in the ruins. He likes your hair. He’s sad that the Guardians and Shrines and other tech faded away when the Calamity was defeated, apparently no longer needed now that their intended purpose was fulfilled.

Link looks to the distant mountains in the four corners of Hyrule as he says this. You look with him, finding them empty. Your friends are well and truly gone. Their purpose too, was fulfilled.

And still, you and he are left. Only the old Sheikah remember you, and apparently some of the Zora. That’s it. That’s all.

Link is upset. You know this, despite the lack of expression in his face.

That night, you were meant to sleep in separate tents the Sheikah set up for you, but you crawl into Link’s bedroll once everyone else is asleep. You lay silently with him, and know that you’re the one holding him now.

It is the least you can do. After all, you are all he has.

You go other places. Do other things. See other people. Link, as always, goes with you.

You meet the Zora. Sidon is massive now, charming and almost insistently positive. He pulls both of you into a bone-crushing hug. He goes on and on, telling you how Link saved his people, telling you things you already know, like how amazing he is.

You meet the Rito. Their lives are short and harsh and they do not know you. Even their elder does not remember. But Teba is kind and his son is adorable. You watch with the boy as Link and Teba shoot targets at the snowy Flight Range, and little Tulin tells you that one day, he hopes to be just as fierce a warrior as the two of them.

You meet the Gorons. Link makes you drink a bitter-tasting elixir made from lizards. He laughs and mutters it’s payback from making him eat a frog. But it keeps you safe from the boiling temperatures. You barely pay attention to Yunobo because you’re happy that Link remembered the frog.

You meet the Gerudo. Riju is wonderful, a young and bright shining star. She makes you miss Urbosa so much. They agree to meet you at the Oasis so Link can come along. Riju teases him about how he made it into Gerudo Town to meet her. You tease him on the ride out of the desert that he would make a lovely vai. Link bats his eyelashes at you.

He’s funny, even when he doesn’t talk.

He wasn’t very funny before. But you liked serious Link. And you like funny Link.

He shows you the Gerudo outfit when you get home to Hateno. You laugh and he laughs and he does a little dance. You try it on and he says it fits you better. You argue the opposite.

When you go to bed, you lay your head on his chest and realize that you thought of this place as home.

You were glad to be home.

You are glad it’s with him.

Link is braiding your horse’s mane for you when the mayor comes to chat. Purah told him who you are, that rat. He’s honored to have you here. He agrees to let the children still think you are just Ms. Zelda, the woman who so desperately wants to be their teacher. The school is nearly finished, after all.

But he compliments your house.

It’s Link’s house, but you don’t tell him. Because it’s your home and this is confusing. You don’t want to know the word for what you feel and don’t want to define it.

Purah left for her new town outside of the remains of your castle. Symin has been relegated to the role of teacher with you, but seems happy with the job. Anything is better than babysitting Purah, after all. Impa leaves you alone, so long as she knows that you are willing to try.

You want to pretend Link is all you have, just a little while longer.

So you don’t correct the mayor. Sure, it’s your house.

Link doesn’t object.

You love that Link is always around, but sometimes, still, you want to be alone. You want an excuse not to look at him, to study and plan and do the things you’re supposed to be doing.

You ask Bolson to build you a room in the well, so you can think.

You laugh when you find that the frogs have moved in with you.

Link knows about the well. He never goes in. He knows you do. He knows you need a place of your own. Before, it was your study in the castle. Even then, when he was assigned to guard you there, honor-bound, he stood outside the door.

You tinker with things down there. Sometimes it’s trying to replicate ancient Sheikah tech. Sometimes it’s making armor and pouches for Link. Sometimes it’s just reading while playing with his hair tie.

Most of the time, you come up because you miss him.

The first day of school is as chaotic as you thought it would be and more. Symin has the children surprise you with pictures they’ve drawn. When you get home, you show Link one where he is following you, as he always does, and how the child drew him waving, as he always does to the kids.

You talk about the kids over dinner. You talk and talk and talk, as you once did. You feel fuller than you’ve felt in a very long time, and not because of the spread of fruit cake and rice bowls and curry and your new favorite mushroom skewers that Link made for you, though that all helps.

You feel like you’re doing something. Like you’re earning the title of Princess. Not in a destined and divine way, but in a way that matters to people. In a way that they can recognize you for, when you are ready to let them, that is.

You help Link wash the dishes. You insist on helping. When the thought crosses your mind, as you lean over to him to reach for a towel, that you should kiss his cheek, you don’t hesitate. You give into it immediately.

He looks stunned only for a moment. A flush creeps into the cheek you kissed, and doubtless too into the one you can’t see. But you’re the one who broke the barrier. You granted the permission, so Link can break his decorum, or what remains of it.

He holds you again, so many times you’ve lost count, and he kisses you. You don’t talk anymore that night, as you’ve found a better use for your lips, but you still feel just as full, bursting even.

The years pass, Link keeps your hair short and you keep his from being too wild. You finally feel like wearing your own clothes. You learn to accept that most everyone knows who you are now, and that they love you for that. No one says anything about the two place settings and the one bed in what they now call your house, or how the world is calmer now and you don’t need a bodyguard, but Link is always with you. No one asks what happens in Ms. Zelda’s house, in the one bed, when two people live there. Not even Purah.

You assume Impa must think Link sleeps on the floor every night.

You don’t put a name to what you feel for him because some things don’t need names. They don’t need defining. You understand what this is and so does Link. There isn’t a word worthy of it in any language you know. Besides, Link doesn’t like words. He doesn’t need them.

And in this rare case, neither do you.

In the depths below the castle, Link listens to you talk about the Zonai. He holds the torch for you while you search for your Purah Pad to capture the images that surround you both. You can see this place puts him on edge, but your excitement mostly blinds you. This world has been so wonderful to live in again. Together, the two of you can fix this. You can do anything together.

You don’t understand what you find at the passage’s end. It all happens so quickly. The mummified corpse that knew your names. The strange hand. The crumbling ruins.

When he reaches for you, you are reminded of a fact you’ve nearly forgotten after these last few years.

Link is really all you have.

And this time, he could not reach you.

He could only watch you fall. Down, down, down. Then disappear in a flash of light.

#zelda #botw #totk #tears of the kingdom #zelink #fanfic #when you and your bodyguard develop a weird codependent relationship after surviving the apocalypse #but at least it's really cute

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misfitsandmusings · 6 months

Text

For Mun Reference // Verse Stuff.

This is pretty much only relevant to me and Bunny at this point but mandatory note that any threads or pinterests boards may (and probably do) contain a lot of graphic/nsfw material.

Heartverse Timeline:

First meeting ages 11/5.

Grand Line meeting: 1 year post-Marineford (late July, ages 25/20). Two nights on island. [Thread: Main]

[Thread: Chores]

[Thread: "Let's get you to bed." - Oops, tattoos, epiphanies. COMPLETE.]

Oct. 6 important announcement [Thread: Law's bday.]

[Thread: "Do you want to know what your problem is?" Ikkaku.]

Six months or so in, parent fears, worst case scenario game, and Nami finally gets into the Polar Tang's vault. [Thread: "I let you sleep."]

Nov-Dec: Rocky Port, heading east.

[Thread: Scary Mom.]

Sometime before April: marriage.

April 12: Cora-chan. ♡

July 3: Outings & baby giggles. [Thread: Nami's bday.]

October: Cora-chan 6 months old, heading back to the Grand Line.

[Thread: Jealousy]?

[Thread: Beach Day]?

Punk Hazard, Dressrosa, Zou.

[Thread: Stubborn/Injury.]

WCI, Wano, BB.

When the Great Pirate Era ends, they go back to Cocoyashi to pick up their kid and continue traveling to fulfill Nami's dream.

Heartverse Random Notes:

MOODBOARD | PINTEREST

Law and Nami have each other's vivre cards but "aren't allowed" to sit around staring at them. After she leaves to become a Straw Hat, Nami gives Law's to Robin; Law supposedly gives Nami's to Bepo.

Because they set out with the intention of staying together, they have exactly one photo of them + bb Cora. Starting on Dressrosa the pic gets bounced back and forth between parents. (Nami has it while Law's on Dressrosa, Law gets it when she goes off to WCI, Nami gets it back in Wano, Law has it afterwards.)

Law knows Nami can take care of herself but might or might not make sure Zoro receives a consistent stream of booze as a bribe/added precaution.

Nami Drabbles: First pregnancy suspicions ||

Law Drabbles: Nami's first night on the Polar Tang || pregnancy announcement introspection, ???

Kids: Three, eventually. Cora, who's her father's lookalike minus the button nose and big smiles. She is every bit as sneaky and stubborn as both of them. Law's medical knowledge and deadpan snark, Nami's ability to pick pockets. May or may not have been conceived in the middle of a jewelry store heist on the first night Law and Nami met up in the Grand Line (oops.) Atlas (march 6th) is much the same in appearance and mannerisms, but serves as something of a tactful middle-man between his two very different sisters. The "planned" child years after the events of the Great Pirate Era come to an end and they decide they want a second - takes month of trying to conceive. Umi is Nami's little lookalike minus the golden eyes, but she's softspoken and timid in ways neither parent understands. Has Nami's innate ability to read and understand weather phenomena - the two of them often leave Law, Cora, and Atlas looking on the sidelines like "what are they talking about?" Not quite Irish twins with Atlas, but a definitely unplanned conception shortly after his birth. Cora and Atlas are Little Shits™ who think they can get away with things, but A ) Law and Nami have done it all and nothing gets past them + B ) Umi can't tell a lie and all either of them have to do is ask if her siblings did something to get her to crack.

Tangerine Twists Random Notes:

MOODBOARD | PINTEREST

Threads: Main

Nami stays a marine. They get progressively less subtle with their relationship as time goes on despite Nami's rising in the ranks. Post-Wano they don't even bother trying to keep it a secret.

Godverse Random Notes:

MOODBOARD. | PINTEREST

Threads: Main

Kids: Tama (adopted). Atlas and Umi follow exist in Godverse as well with the same features/personalities as in Heartverse.

Mikan Meadows Random Notes:

MOODBOARD. | PINTEREST

Threads: Main

Timeline: First meeting end of summer/early fall as the temperatures start to change. He comes around frequently while waiting for a lost soul to make its peace and then they fall into a pattern of regularly scheduled meetings (weekly? monthly?) By winter these move from outdoor locations (beach, graveyard, etc.) to a cabin in the woods.

New Year celebration/dance.

Panic, guilt, backpedaling, angst.

Spring wedding.

#♡ // treasure box - saved! ;#tw: pregnancy

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pentition · 11 months

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Today Pen said this during a date when asked about his past;

"The moment I knew what I was doing, I was already learning how to fight. Poor kid, I don't mind though. In this world of ours, the strong rules over the weak. So you need people like me to shield the unfortunate and dish out justice!"

So maybe there is some sort of hope for redemption with him basically saying he is a child soldier. Or they are going the route that even though there is a fucked up backstory some things cannot be forgiven. He's an asshole don't get me wrong, but I've been known to collect assholes because in fiction I find them very funny.

Spoilers!!

I would love a Pen redemption arc and the more I am here, posting Pen content, the more I want that over cementing him as a villain.

I don't want a redemption arc that entirely absolves him because I think Pen's sincere passion for violence is a vital part of his character. I can believe it was conditioned into him by his environment as a super soldier experiment and child soldier. Regardless if he actually likes it or if it's something he adapted into liking for survival purposes, I think either would be interesting.

The murder of Logan's father is fucked up but I can see that being anywhere between a full truth, a partial truth or an outright lie depending on story and character direction. Either way, I can see it less of being a choice and more of him doing what soldiers do, following orders without question. Does it make it okay? No. But how that subject is approached and the things that factor into it determines how it can be judged and perceived.

I think Pen is a messed up asshole. I don't think he needs to be fixed. I think he just needs to have a choice for once on what he wants from his own life. Little moments in his dialogue where he acknowledges his situation (vaguely) with self-awareness just tells me there's emotional intelligence there that he has kept to himself. Maybe he doesn't know what to do with it beyond punching things but that doesn't mean it's not there. Maybe he just needs redirecting so he can do some introspection on himself.

Pen being an asshole is so fun. I do have a weakness for asshole characters most of the time. At least, ones that either have or potentially have layers as to why they are like this - and hint that they don't operate solely on an asshole spectrum but are capable of more. Being an asshole can be a personality trait but it's also a choice, which I always find interesting and have to ask why.

I'd never change Pen being an asshole. I'd just like to see development of his assholeness potentially coming to benefit Sandrock. Or the facts surrounding Pen aren't all what they seem. Because all I can think about is now that he got caught, Duvos may view him as a failure and that completely jeopardizes things for him. Maybe Duvos will come after Pen now too for failing. Maybe he's at risk to be eliminated or sucked back into whatever program made him into what he is.

I'll always find it fascinating that he considered his work for Duvos as his 'second job'. It's little wording like that that makes me hope being Sandrock's protector because his #1. And his asshole personality + soldier mentality is struggling to allow himself to keep wanting that. And for people (like me) that have romanced him, the lack of addressing the whole situation in game is frustrating. From a narrative standpoint though, if he is struggling, it becomes a little more interesting in terms of trying to forcefully distance himself by not acknowledging any of it.

Oop there I go. Sorry for the text wall. sdgdfhgfjhg Either way, I hope there is too. Thanks for the ask!!

#pen #musings

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takethetrain · 2 years

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hiiii! okay. this may sound a little weird, but after reading your post about Thomas I wanted to write to you. I just had to.

All your thoughts?!? You've literally explained perfectly how I've always felt about cc's questionable writing choices regarding Thomas's character in choi.

First, Thomas is also my favourite favourite hehe, I just relate to him a lot and he's 100% the tsc character I got more attached to. However, my overall impression after choi was that cc had somehow reduced all his complexity...or more like she hadn't valued it enough? And this by simplyfing all his mental processes and creating little inconsistencies concerning his thoughts and words. Literally all the things you've pointed out!!

And yeeeah, the “he reminded himself, he didn't much like Alastair” line confused me so much. Not only it felt extremely wrong, but it also didn't make sense at all...? Especially if we consider the fact that apparently Thomas has been aware of his attraction to men and deep feelings for Alastair the whole time.

It was like all the introspective and thoughtful povs we're used to when it comes to Thomas, were kind of left out/semplified in choi.

And it makes me genuinely upset because Thomas is such an amazing and complex character with so much potential, but, as you've pointed out, it feels like he's been completely sidelined in the writing process.

I'm not gonna add more stuff since you've already phrased everything perfectly jwjsl, but know that I'm so glad someone finally talked about this!! Everything you've pointed out is just *chef's kiss*

Also. forgive me if I'm being a little long-winded, but I absolutely got to tell you. I adore your fic. It's just so so beautiful. And one of the main reasons why I love it so much, is precisely because of the way you've written Thomas!!

While reading it I was just so happy, because it felt like Thomas's complex interior world I've always felt a special connection to, had been finally explored?? *feeling incredibly emotional at the mere thought*

Basically, your Thomas just shines!! And for a person who relates so much to his character your fic is just so so comforting. (Also I'm generally very fond of the sea since I live by the seaside, so the whole story is literally perfect to me kskzj).

Anyway, this was supposed to be just a brief *I agree with all the stuff you've pointed out about thomas in choi* ask, but turned into a *I'm a huge fan of your fic, you're such a fantastic writer and your thomas is perfect* monologue, oops :'')

I probably would have sent you an ask some day, but after that post I just jumped at the opportunity to rant about your fic as well jwksj

okay, guess I'm donee, hope this doesn't sound too intrusive or anything!! Have a good day/night!! <3

OMG ! !!!!! !!! this ASK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First of all. Can we be friends?? 🥺 and second, I hope u don’t seriously worry about being long winded or whatever u said because I would take every WORD of this & have it TATTOOED on my SOUL. Putting that out there to begin with.

I’m really glad my ramblings about how Thomas was mishandled in choi resonated with someone because I truly had no idea if anyone would agree with the weirdly specific grievances I have, but they REALLY bothered me and honestly the longer I think about them the more frustrated I get. The new snippet made me really nervous too because it seems like it’s (potentially) signaling more of what we’re talking about. But THANK U for engaging with me on this, and thank you @melanielocke for giving me an excuse to write a stress-fueled essay about it in the middle of the night—if there’s anyone I can count on to validate the things I care about way too much for anyone’s good, it is this fandom.

Speaking of caring about things way too much for anyone’s good, I lowkey want to cry about the second half of your ask 🥲 because what you’re describing is exactly what I’ve been trying to do and it’s so incredible to hear that I’m not just doing it for myself but for other ppl who love Thomas too??? I wasn’t kidding when I said that’s a huge part of why I started writing the fic, to give him some time to shine/explore his interior world, so I’m just so glad that’s landing the way it is for you, and please feel free to come talk to me about Thomas anytime!!! I mean this!!! I so resonate w every single thing you said!!!!

Also thank you, if I didn’t make that clear ❤️🥰 this was such a lovely thing to receive!!

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galaxythreads · 2 years

Text

Can I just say that ODIN IS THE WORST PARENT/PERSON?

Odin literally messed up not one, not two, but THREE children. THREE. And not ONCE not EVEN ONE TIME did this stupid little man take a hard look at himself and go “hm.” He didn’t consider the fact that maybe, just maybe what he was doing was harmful and he should stop. He didn’t look at his toxic family systems and go “well I guess I’m the root of THAT issue. Oops.”

HE NEVER TAKES RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING.

instead, I’m sure he looked at Loki suddenly going after the Jotuns and was baffled. Like “Where on earth did THAT come from? I have no idea where that could have spawned.” *completely ignores the systematic racism he has instilled into his people and Loki’s obvious self-hatred* “it just popped right outta no where.” Because Odin intended to put Loki on the Jotun throne at some point, right, so he didn’t want Loki to kill all of them, he wanted him to be an overlord. So like. Even if he did raise Loki to hate himself, I guess he was expecting it wouldn’t be too bad?

Like ?????????

And with HELA. The man raises her to be a weapon, he has her kill things from childhood, gives her no emotional support structure, and strips her of any sort of parental figure by making himself into a general, not a father, he gives her the job of executioner at a young age and then goes “hm. I have NO IDEA why she feels so comfortable with death??? This is BIZARRE? NO idea where THAT came from.” LIke BUDDY? YOU RAISED HER IN THIS? YOU TOLD HER THIS WAS NORMAL? YOU MADE THIS HER NORMAL? AND YOU’RE UPSET SHE’S DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU TOLD HER TO????????

And THOR. Oh my gosh. Thor. Thor is riddled with SO MANY anxiety issues he cannot take the throne for fear of failure. Thor has so much self-hatred that he goads everyone around him into loving him (see Thor 1) because he doesn’t know how to do it for himself. He doesn’t trust his decisions. He doesn’t think he can make a good king because he doesn’t want a life of violence and like. Odin WITHHOLDS SO MUCH INFORMATION FROM HIm. it’s not just Loki who suffers from Odin holding things back. Like. His Powers???? Was anyone going to explain that to him? No. HELA???? LOKI’S HERITAGE??? (which was Loki’s right to tell him, btw, not Odin’s, but STILL) NOPE. the TRUST ISSUES all of them must have with this man. But Odin looks at Thor and goes “man, I have NO IDEA why my legacy is going to be so terrible. Look at him, he’s anxious, but HOW???”

Odin just INFURIATES me. He has absolutely NO introspection. NO self-reflection. He doesn’t care. He thinks he’s some sort of merciful god. He legit doesn’t think he did anything wrong and just blames all of Hela, Thor, and Loki’s issues on them as if he didn’t have anything to do with it. Like ??? HELLO?????

I just do not understand how Odin could have three severely mentally ill children to THIS extent and he’s just like “well guess that was a bad set of genetics also YOUR FAULT.” like ??? Oh my gosh, he enrages my whole soul with the fire of injustice.

And it angers me to no end that he gets to die thinking he didn’t do anything wrong. He dies on some hill after messing up ALL OF HIS CHILDREN (and yes he’s not responsible for all their actions and blasdkflja;sldjkf and stuff, YES, but like. He BUILT this family system and after it didn’t work with Hela made absolutely NO adjustments except to add a second kid as scapegoat. Brilliant.)

Odin did not deserve to die on a hill somewhere. Odin should have died in an ally stabbed in the gut by Hela while his body drifted away into sparkling dust next to dumpsters.

#odin #anti odin #odin's a+ parenting #odin's bad parenting #odin is a trashy person #sorry but it needs to be said #:/#angry hours with galaxy #hela is more than a villian #hela #thor #loki #thor and trauma #loki and trauma #hela and trauma

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tinyhistory · 3 years

Note

Hey! Love your stories so much I just had to ask! Do you have any favorite drarry authors/stories? I sometimes compare the quality of other stories to ROA (oops!) because ROA is just that good. My personal favorites are ROA (of course!), the Foundations Series (saras_girl), the ordeal of being known (louisfake), denouement (the_never_was), Good to Me (And I'd Be So Good to You) (AWickedMemory), and To Hurt and Heal (cassisluna). Have you read these? Have a wonderful day! :)

Thank you, so glad you’ve enjoyed my stories! And thank you for so patiently waiting for a reply. I haven’t been online much in the past couple of weeks. Unfortunately I haven’t read any of your recs, but I’m always happy to add another fic to my to-read list.

I did a rec post a few months ago, but I’ll post an updated version now. The Skyhawke Archives appear to be down, which is crushing news. I’ve had to update a lot of the links.

So here are my favourite Drarry fanfics:

And We Are At Our Apogee (PG-13) by angelgazing

Summary: Draco wanted revenge, but it didn't work out that way.

My notes: Californian beaches, supermarkets, road trips, and a bittersweet ending.

A Reckless State of Mind (T) by Lomonaaeren

Summary: Draco is a Psyche-Diver, and his newest patient is Auror Potter, who’s been a pathological liar for over a year—and has just tried to violently end his own life.

Notes: The plot alone guarantees inclusion on this list. Probably the most creative fic I’ve ever read, and the twists and turns will keep you guessing.

Berlin, In the Year of Our Lord (PG) by Are

Summary: Harry is a green-tea addict. Draco stalks him.

Notes: Probably my all-time favourite fic, along with Blue Vase. It’s sparse and minimal and I love that writing style.

Blue Vase (M) by ivyblossom

Summary: Let’s pretend.

Notes: Draco finds an amnesiac Harry and befriends him, pretending they were once lovers. It’s pensive, short, and bittersweet.

The Boy Who Only Lived Twice (E) by lettered

Summary: Harry Potter is an Unspeakable. Draco Malfoy is the wizard who shagged him. Adventure! Intrigue! Secret identities, celebrities, spies! It's all right here, folks.

Notes: Action-heavy fics are damn hard to write, but lettered nails it. The action scenes are breakneck speed, the conversations are threaded with double meaning, and even the silences are tense.

Draco in Darkness (T) by Plumeria47.

Summary: Following an accident in his seventh year, Draco loses his eyesight.

Notes: This is one of the first fics I ever read (when it was over on FF in 2003) so it’s probably here just for nostalgia points alone. I read it when I was a kid and just thought it was a lovely golden fairytale, the best romance I’d ever read in my (very short, thus far) life. I love reading it again, even years later as an adult when I can see the tarnish on it; the things my childhood eyes didn’t notice. I don’t care. It’s my soft and fuzzy comfort fic.

The Flesh is Frail (NC-17) by wildestranger

Summary: None

Notes: Draco has injuries from curses and spells, and Harry keeps him company. Draco is angry; Harry is stubborn. They argue their way into a grudging relationship. It’s a short read and well worth your ten minutes.

Good-bye to Yesterday (NC-17) by furiosity

Summary: Draco felt ready to face even a million years in Azkaban as long as it meant that at the end of it all, he would make Potter pay.

Notes: It’s not a dark fic, but it certainly dips in and out of the shadows. If you like your romance to be sharp as a razor and bitter as black coffee, give it a read.

Hymn to Color (PG) by Lomonaaeren

Summary: Months after Draco cast a curse that took Harry’s eyesight, Harry is still trying to come to terms with it. Draco still wanted forgiveness, which was probably the problem.

Notes: Probably my very inadequate idea of “fluff”. It’s a quiet, introspective fic. Draco and Harry are well-written.

Kings among runaways (PG) by enderxenocide.

Summary: Later, the toast will be slightly overcooked, Draco will burn the eggs, and there will be another fist fight in-between the living room and the front door, but they’ll eat breakfast with second-hand plates and Draco’s great-grandmother’s silverware.

Notes: Dreamy descriptions, abstract scenes, and the characters are lovingly delineated. Beautiful writing.

On Broken Glass (PG-13) by coffeejunkii

Summary: After the final battle, Draco is holding the shards that are left of his and Harry’s life.

Notes: Established relationship. Harry’s forgetful and seems to suffer both short-term and long-term memory loss; Draco stays by his side through six years of post-war amnesia. Very short, just a tiny ficlet. There’s sequels (in bite-size pieces) but I prefer to read the first ficlet and leave it there.

Paper Dolls (M) by cupiscent

Summary: In the final year of the War, Draco gets a letter, makes a choice and pays the price.

Notes: Short, succinct, and packs a punch. No character deaths, in case the summary has you feeling nervous.

Portrait (PG-13) by Silent Blast

Summary: None.

Notes: Dorian Grey, but Drarry. Of course it’s going to be good.

Shattered (NC-17) by femmequixotic

Summary: One damned accident involving one too-lucky curse, and suddenly you'd think he was five again, with their Harry, be carefuls and their quick Levitating charms ready the instant the potion gives way and his rebelling hands lose hold of whatever's in their grasp.

Notes: Draco’s an artist. Harry’s intrigued by his sculptures and paintings.

Snatch (PG-13) by didntyoupotter

Summary: Harry is comatose, Hermione and Ron aren’t much help, and Draco isn’t sure about anything anymore.

Notes: The opening scene fools you into thinking this will be a light read with a streak of good humour. Don’t fall for it. By the third act, you’ll be hanging onto every word and feeling a lot of emotions. Also, back in the day, this was one of the Draco/Harry fics. Everyone knew of it. Pay your respects to your fandom history and read this beloved classic.

The Stages of Acceptance (T) by Lomonaaeren.

Summary: Harry, already happily married to Ginny, receives the news that he's Draco's mate. Law and custom don't give him the option of ignoring the news. The stages of his reaction, one by one.

Notes: This is not a romance, and I love that the author just casually chucks all the Veela tropes in the bin and says “nope”. In Lomonaaeren’s own words, this fic is more practical than romantic. Harry is unfamiliar with the Veela concepts and hates the very idea of being “shackled” to someone; he rejects Draco at once. Draco is miserable and lonely. They do eventually come to understand each other better, but it’s a huge struggle with lots of setbacks. The general air of pessimism and misery does make the small glimpses of compassion and empathy feel so well-earned. I love a fic that rations out its happiness.

The Stately Homes of Wiltshire (E) by waspabi

Summary: Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.

Notes: This one needs no introduction. The writing is polished, the characterisation perfect, and the dialogue is fun. I love the humour woven throughout it.

Then Comes a Mist and a Weeping Rain (E) by faithwood.

Summary: It always rains for Draco Malfoy. Metaphorically. And literally. Ever since he had accidentally Conjured a cloud. A cloud that's ever so cross.

Notes: Another one that most of us know. It’s a lighthearted and fun read.

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow (M) by novembersnow

Summary: In the war-torn years after Hogwarts, one man has no knowledge of his yesterdays.

Notes: Another classic back in the feverish heyday of the Harry Potter fandom, when books were still being released and everyone had worked themselves up into a shipping frenzy. And no wonder this fic was an instant hit. Draco has lost all his memories and Harry’s investigating as an Auror, but the longer you read, the more you start questioning everything. Good twists and turns that lead to a tender ending.

Turn by Saras_Girl

Summary: One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

Notes: An inevitable inclusion on any favourites list. I think my favourite thing about it is the characterisation. Everyone is so well-rounded; the characters are brought to life and feel like old friends. All their habits, styles, mannerisms, even the way they walk or talk. While I love everyone in this fic, I have to admit that Blaise is just amazing. Of all the thousands of Blaises imagined by fanfic writers, I love this one the best. “Old bean” indeed.

Under the Ivy (PG-13) by coffeejunkii

Summary: It is impressive how much you can learn about someone by simply sharing a few rooms. They don’t spend time together, not really, but Harry still knows that Malfoy prefers raspberry jam over strawberry, that he hums along to the Wireless when he thinks no one is around, and that his leg is bothering him more than usual when the temperatures drop below freezing.

Notes: Another old, old favourite of mine. It’s like snuggling into a soft blanket. Remus owns a cottage and Harry moves in after the war. Later, Remus lets a room to Draco, who is an outcast after the war and has limited housing options. Harry isn’t happy at first with the new lodger, but he eventually warms up to Draco. A slow and gentle romance.

Vale Sanare (M) by rurounihime

Summary: Draco’s world gains a new component, just when he thought he’d sorted everything out.

Notes: London nightclubs, one-night-stands, loud music and lonely nights. Draco has seizures due to a curse from the war, and the seizures have led to a fear of intimacy. Short and sweet.

The Way Down (T) by lettered

Summary: Malfoy’s all, “Come out of there,” the way you say to a cat who is badly behaved. And Harry’s all like, “No, what, I’m a hermit! And I have a chest-monster! And I am crazy magically powerful!” and Malfoy’s all, “We all have problems, bub.” (thoughtfully) “You are crazy though. I’ll give you that.”

Notes: I just adore this fic. The fic starts well-grounded, giving you a solid backstory and matter-of-fact context, but as it goes on, it slowly unravels into dreamy scenes, lush settings, and repeated motifs. It’s just such a beautiful story.

When Love beckons to you, follow him (PG-13) by megyal

Summary: Draco wakes up, lost, somewhere in a forest. He has no idea where he is or how he got there. As he is blundering around trying to find his way home, he hears Harry's voice in his head, telling him what to do.

Notes: I generally like my fics to be bittersweet or with a bit of heartache — but this fic is just a little cloud of softness. If you need something light and lovely without being syrupy-sweet, this is a good choice!

The World of the Living (M) by fourth_rose

Summary: A traumatised war hero and a convicted criminal under the roof of an eccentric journalist make for a rather odd ensemble, but Luna has never had a problem with oddities as long as they make sense.

Notes: The story is told from Luna’s perspective, which gives everything a lovely dreamy quality. She takes in a couple of strays after the war — first Harry, who is avoiding his other friends and has quit his Auror job — and then she offers a room to Draco right after his trial. Draco is rude, angry, and ungrateful; Harry is churlish, withdrawn, and moody. Luna doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest, and over the course of the next few months, her house guests slowly warm up to each other.

Voices From the Fog (E) by noeon

Summary: After years of running away, Harry crosses paths with an all-too familiar face and follows him to Amsterdam.

Notes: Harry drifts across Europe, trying to forget the war. He ends up in a woodworking shop in Amsterdam, alongside a moody Draco. Atmospheric settings and solid characterisation.

#draco/harry fanfic #drarry #drarry fic recs #drarry fic #answered asks

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sparxwrites · 2 years

Text

@kkulecru replied to your post:

same as op lol i think i sent a great submission exposing myself too oops

you did, and i am so sorry for not responding to that! idk how to reply to submissions privately, and i didn’t know if you wanted me to post it, and also i was so touched i just like... kept coming back and kind of staring at it a bit and trying to work out how the hell to respond. and then i got a fucking deluge of asks, and it got buried underneath those OTL

(i’m not kidding, i got like 40 asks in five days. i love yall, but you’re insane)

but yes- i got your submission, and it was extremely lovely, and i was very very touched by it. thank you so much for taking the time to write it all out!! also, congrats on your major, and good luck- and i’m extremely honoured to be able to take any kind of credit for what someone chooses to do with such a huge bit of their life.

if i’m allowed to get a bit sappy and introspective here: it does continue to genuinely overwhelm me like... how many people know i exist? how many people view me as someone that should be admired, or looked up to, or is cool?? the fact that i exist in people’s heads rent free? the fact i’ve influenced people, or that people i’ve never met have a concept of me as a person, or that people talk about me whilst i’m not there? it’s just so wild to me! it just... it kind of boggles my mind.

idk if it makes me look like a self-congratulatory dick, writing that out, but it’s with the context that like... idk, i’ve changed a lot as a person irl since my days in the yogs fandom. i’ve grown up a lot! and i look back on the person i was then with great fondness and affection and empathy, but also as - in a lot of ways - a total idiot and a mess. and it’s just insane to me that like... there’s people who thought she was smart, or cool, or inspirational. not in a bad way! not at all in a bad way, it’s deeply touching and i feel genuinely honoured by it, but like...

wow. wow, dude!

every time i get one of those kinds of asks/submissions, it’s like realising that that stone you chucked in a pond without a second thought, like five years ago? the ripples are still going out! and i know it’s a tiny tiny pond by comparison to the audience some people have on the internet, but still... given that this blog is just A Thing i do, for fun, in my spare time... wow. it’s just the absolute weirdest sensation, in the best possible way.

also, since i’ve just made myself look like a total self-absorbed asshole, have the obligatory:

sparx has received [ 23 ] asks from ex-yogs fans welcoming her back to hell

#kkulecru #ask #blogging into the void #sparx chats #this is not fic #ex-yogs recovery circle #i also feel like at this point i feel like i should have some kinda tag for my linguistics babies lmaooo like #there's at least four of you! at least four kids whom i have given birth to with my very own loins... cant believe it #i rlly rlly hope i do not sound horribly pretentious in this btw i just #the past few weeks have been SUCH a mindfuck and so overwhelming. in a rlly lovely way! but it's just Wild #and im still processing lmao

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anicocat · 2 years

Note

Oops! My mistake. I meant to write do you think the reaction would be significantly different if Sascha and LOU swapped roles. As in, Lou is the neighbour/childhood friend of Ismail ans Ava and Sascha is the new guy at school

Hello anon, sorry for not answering earlier, I just always get distracted with all the fandom reactions and writing my own essays. Uh... I don’t know, I think writers made a terrible mistake when they introduced two new characters as main characters. It was unnecessary. I think the season would have been fine with either Sascha or Lou, but only ONE and as side character, not main! I think that’s what’s bothering people, those two suddenly became the spotlight of everything, so even if Sascha was the new edgy, hot guy people would feel bothered anyway. I think it would even worse because they would complain about having another mlm season with a white, attractive guy as the love interest lmao

But... Do I think some people dismissed Lou because of her body size? Yeah. Do I think some people preferred the white, “conventionally attractive” male over Lou? Definitely! But I don’t think that was the general case. Personally I disliked Lou from the start because she immediately came across arrogant, aggressive and rude. I’m a very respectful person, so I didn’t like her comment about the lipstick and the way she just put her gum in the wall. I was like: who the hell is supposed to clean that, you brat? On the second week I started liking her because I understood the comment about her lipstick and her flirting was really cute. However, I think it’s clear now that she’s probably as bad as Constantin and Ismail, but I’ve been following Ismail for over a year so I have a soft spot for him already (especially after Fatou’s season). I am tolerant about whatever he does because he’s the main and the point is to see him grow up, so I was ready to see him fuck up, but I didn’t need a Lou. I just don’t care, especially if she’s as bad as Ismail or Csontantin. Why would writers think we would enjoy to see three annoying, privileged brats getting drunk, trying to act cool and edgy, etc for four weeks?

It’s not that I want them to find Jesus or something, it’s just I think there were more interesting topics to explore. We already have stupid shows like Elite or Riverdale to see that kind of stuff. You want to address Ismail&Constantin stupid, irresponsible behaviors? Fine, but don’t take almost half of the season to do that, especially if your main wasn’t generally liked in the fandom to begin with. There was so many things they could have done with characters like Fatou, Kieu My and Ava alone. I would have loved to see Ismail hanging out with Kieu My and Fatou, trying his hardest to mend his relationship with Ava, the two of them reconnecting with Sascha and remembering the old times, Ismail bonding with Umut and just enjoying his connection with nature. I can picture this healing, warm and introspective season in which Ismail finds again the old, innocent Ismail, the authentic Ismail he’s truly is under all the glamour and pretentious shit he does Maybe it’s really cliched stuff, but I really enjoy those kind of healing journeys, because it’s always beautiful seeing people finding that pure, beautiful self again. Anyway, maybe it’ts not too late, not everything is lost, but I’m not very hopeful.

#druck #druck s7

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bogkeep · 3 years

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hmmmmmmmmmm maybe i’ll write an Introspective Musing Post about my relationship to religion and their depiction in stories because i’ve pondering about this topic lately

so for those who are reading this and DON’T know what’s been going on... there’s this webcomic i fell in love with some years ago, about six years actually, that depicts a post-apocalyptic fantasy/horror adventure set in the nordic countries. it had, and has still, some very uncomfortable flaws regarding racial representation, and the creator has historically not dealt very well with criticism towards it. it’s a whole Thing. my relationship with this comic has fluctuated a lot, since there are a lot of elements in it i DO love and i still feel very nostalgic about, and like idk i felt like i trust my skills in critical thinking enough to keep reading. aaand then the creator went a teensy bit off the deep end created a whole minicomic which is like... a lukewarm social media dystopia where christians are oppressed (and also everyone is a cute bunny, including our lord and saviour jesus christ). which is already tonedeaf enough considering there are religious people who DO get prosecuted for their faith, like, that’s an actual reality for a lot of people - but as far as i can tell, usually not christians. and then there’s an afterword that’s like, “anyway i got recently converted and realized i’m a disgusting human being full of sin who doesn’t deserve redemption but jesus loves me so i’ll be fine!! remember to repent for your sins xoxo” and a bunch of other stuff and IT’S KIND OF REALLY CONCERNING i have, uh, been habitually looking at the reactions to and discussions around this, maybe it’s not very self care of me but there’s a lot of overwhelming things rn and it’s fantastically distracting, yknow? like, overall this situation is fairly reminiscent of the whole jkr thing. creator of a series that is Fairly Beloved, does something hurtful, handles backlash in a weird way, a lot of people start taking distance from Beloved Series or find ways to enjoy it on their own terms, creator later reveals to have been fully radicalized and releases a whole manifesto, and any and all criticism gets framed as harassment and proving them right. of course, one of them is a super rich person with a LOT of media power and a topic that is a lot more destructive in our current zeitgeist, and the other is an independent webcomic creator, so it’s not the same situation. just similar vibez ya feel as a result of this, i have been Thinking. and just this feels like some sort of defeat like god dammit she got me i AM thinking about the topic she wrote about!!! i should dismiss the whole thing!!! but thinking about topics is probably a good thing so hey lets go. me, i’m agnostic. i understand that this is a ‘lazy’ position to take, but it’s what works for me. i simply do not vibe with organized religion, personally. (i had the wikipedia page for ‘chaos magic’ open in a tab for several weeks, if that helps.) i was raised by atheists in a majorly atheist culture. christian atheist, i should specify. norway has been mostly and historically lutheran, and religion has usually been a private and personal thing. it turns out the teacher i had in 7th grade was mormon, but i ONLY found out because he showed up in a tv series discussing religious groups in norway later, and he was honestly one of the best teachers i have ever had - he reignited the whole class’ interest in science, math, and dungeons and dragons. it was a real “wait WHAT” moment for my teenage self. i think i was briefly converted to christianity by my friend when i was like 7, who grew up in a christian family (i visited them a couple times and always forgot they do prayers before dinner. oops!), but like, she ALSO made me believe she was the guardian of a secret magic orb that controls the entire world and if i told anybody the world would burn down in 3 seconds. i only suspected something was off when one day the Orb ran on batteries, and another day the Orb had to be plugged in to charge. in my defense i really wanted to be part of a cool fantasy plot. i had no idea how to be a christian beyond “uuuuh believe in god i guess” so it just faded away on its own. when i met this friend several years later, she was no longer christian. i think every childhood friend of mine who grew up in a christian family, was no longer christian when they grew up. most notably my closest internet friend whose family was catholic - she had several siblings, and each of them took a wildly different path, from hippie treehugger to laveyan satanist or something in that area. (i joined them for a sermon in a church when they visited my town. my phone went off during it because i had forgotten to silence it. oops!) ((i also really liked their mother’s interpretation of purgatory. she explained it as a bath, not fire. i like that.)) i have never had any personal negative experiences with christianity, despite being openly queer/gay/trans. the only time someone has directly told me i’m going to hell was some guy who saw me wearing a hoodie on norway’s constitution day. yeah i still remember that you bastard i’ve sworn to be spiteful about it till the day i die!! i’ve actually had much more insufferable interactions with the obnoxious kind of atheists - like yes yes i agree with you on a lot but that doesn’t diminish your ability to be an absolute hypocrite, it turns out? i remember going to see the movie ‘noah’ with a friend who had recently discovered reddit atheism and it was just really exhausting to discuss it with her. one of these Obnoxious Atheists is my Own Mother. which is a little strange, honestly, because she LOVES visiting churches for the Aesthetic and Architecture. we cannot go anywhere without having to stop by a pretty church to Admire and Explore. I’VE BEEN IN SO MANY CHURCHES FOR AN ATHEIST RAISED NON-CHRISTIAN. i’ve been to the vatican TWICE (i genuinely don’t even know how much of my extended family is christian. up north in the tiny village i come from, i believe my uncle is the churchkeeper, and it’s the only building in the area that did not get burnt down by the the nazis during ww2 - mostly because soldiers needed a place to sleep. still don’t know whether or not said uncle believes or not, because hey, it’s Personal) i think my biggest personal relationship to religion, and christianity specifically, has been academic. yeah, we learned a brief synopsis of world religions at school (and i remember the class used to be called ‘christianity, religion, and ethics’ and got changed to ‘religion, beliefs, and ethics’ which is cool. it was probably a big discourse but i was a teen who didnt care), but also my bachelor degree is in art history, specifically western art history because it’s a vast sprawling topic and they had to distill it as best they could SIGHS. western art history is deeply entangled with the history of the church, and i think the most i’ve ever learnt about christianity is through these classes (one of my professors wrote an article about how jesus can be interpreted as queer which i Deeply Appreciate). i also specifically tried to diversify my academic input by picking classes such as ‘depiction of muslims and jewish people in western medieval art’ and ‘art and religion’ when i was an exchange student in canada, along with 101 classes in anthropology and archaeology. because i think human diversity and culture is very cool and i want to absorb that knowledge as best as i can. i think my exchange semester in canada was the most religiously diverse space have ever been in, to be honest. now as an adult i have more christian friends again, but friends who chose it for themselves, and who practice in ways that sound good and healthy, like a place of solace and community for them. the vast majority of my friends are queer too, yknow?? i’ve known too many people who have seen these identities as fated opposites, but they aren’t, they’re just parts of who people are. it’s like... i genuinely love people having their faiths and beliefs so much. i love people finding that space where they belong and feel safe in. i love people having communities and heritages and connections. i deeply respect and admire opening up that space for faith within any other communities, like... if i’m going to listen to a podcast about scepticism and cults, i am not going to listen to it if it’s just an excuse to bash religion. i think the search for truth needs to be compassionate, always. you can acknowledge that crystals are cool and make people happy AND that multi level marketing schemes are deeply harmful and prey on people in vulnerable situaitons. YOU KNOW???? so now’s when i bring up Apocalypse Comic again. one of the things i really did like about it was, ironically, how it handled religion. in its setting, people have returned to old gods, and their magic drew power from their religion. characters from different regions had different beliefs and sources. in the first arc, they meet the spirit of a lutheran pastor, who ends up helping them with her powers. it was treated as, in the creators own words, ‘just another mythology’. and honestly? i love that. it was one of the nicest depictions i’ve seen of christianity in fiction, and as something that could coexist with other faiths. I Vibe With That. and then, uh, then... bunny dystopia comic. it just... it just straight up tells you christianity is literally the only way to..?? be a good person??? i guess?? i’m still kind of struggling to parse what exactly it wanted to say. the evil social media overlord bird tells you the bible makes you a DANGEROUS FREETHINKER, but the comic also treats rewriting the bible or finding your own way to faith as something,, Bad. The Bible Must Remain Unsullied. Never Criticize The Bible. also, doing good things just for social media clout is bad and selfish. you should do good things so you don’t burn in hell instead. is that the message? it reads a lot like the comic creator already had the idea for the comic, but only got the urge to make it after she was converted and needed to spread the good word. you do you i guess!! i understand that she’s new to this and probably Going Through Something, and this is just a step on her journey. but the absolute self-loathing she described in her afterword... it does not sound good. i’m just some agnostic kid so what do i know, but i do not think that kind of self-flagellating is a kind faith to have for yourself. i might not ever have been properly religious, but you know what i AM familiar with? a brain wired for ocd and intrusive thoughts. for a lot of my life i’ve struggled with my own kind of purity complex. i’ve had this really strange sensitivity for things that felt ‘tainted’. i’ve experienced having to remove more and more words from my vocabulary because they were Bad and i did not want to sully my sentences. it stacked, too - if a word turned out to be an euphemism for something, i could never feel comfortable saying it again. i still struggle a bit with these things, but i have confronted these things within myself. i’ve had to make myself comfortable with imperfection and ‘tainted’ things and accept that these are just, arbitrary categories my mind made up. maybe that’s the reason i can’t do organized religion even if i found one that fit for me - just like diets can trigger disordered eating, i think it would carve some bad brainpaths for me. so yeah i’m worried i guess! i’m worried when people think it’s so good that she finally found the correct faith even if it’s causing all this self-hate. is there really not a better way? or are they just trusting she’ll find it? and yeah it’s none of my concern, it’s like, i worry for jkr too but i do not want her within miles of my trans self thANKS. so like, i DO enjoy media that explores faith and what it means for you. my favourite band is the oh hellos, which DOES draw on faith and the songwriter’s experience with it. because of my religious iliteracy most of it has flown over my head for years and i’m like “oh hey this is gay” and then only later realize it was about god all along Probably. i like what they’ve done with the place. also, stormlight archive - i had NO idea sanderson was mormon, the way he writes his characters, many of whom actively discuss religion and their relationship to it. i love that about the books, honestly. Media That Explores Religion In A Complex And Compassionate Way... we like that i’ve been thinking about my own stories too, and how i might want to explore faith in them. most of my settings are based on magic and it’s like, what role does religion have in a world where gods are real and makes u magic. in sparrow spellcaster’s story, xe creates? summons? an old god - brings them to life out of the idea of them. it’s a story about hubris, mostly. then there’s iphimery, the story where i am actively fleshing out a pantheon. there’s no doubt the gods are real in the fantasy version of iphimery, they are the source of magic and sustain themselves on slivers of humanity in exchange. but in the modern version, where they are mostly forgotten? that’s some room for me to explore, i think. especially the character of timian, who comes from a smaller town and moves to a large and diverse city. in the fantasy story, the guardian deity chooses his sister as a vessel. in the modern setting, that does not happen, and i don’t yet know what does, but i really want timian to be someone who struggles with his identity - his faith, his sexuality, the expectations cast upon him by his hometown... i’m sure it’s a cliché story retold through a million gay characters but i want to do it too okay. i want to see him carve out his own way of existing within the world because i care him and want to see him thrive!!! alrighty i THINK that’s all i wanted to write. thanks if you read all of this, and if you didn’t that’s super cool have a nice day !

#rambles #i wrote this for me and theres no obligation to read it

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nikxation · 3 years

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Fic Writer Interview

I was tagged by @endae <3 I throw this under a Read More since it's a little long.

How many works do you have on AO3?

23 (wow that's so much more than I had thought)

What’s your total word count on AO3

215,893 jesus fucking c-

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Marvel, Miraculous Ladybug, Gravity Falls, Danny Phantom, Star Wars So 5. 5 fandoms

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Top to Bottom: Premiere Night With a Large Popcorn and a Side of Eye-Rolling (Miraculous Ladybug), Tactility (Star Wars/Mandalorian), Tell Him (Gravity Falls), A Matter of Time (Gravity Falls), Catharsis (Gravity Falls).

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to. I think I've only ever not responded to a couple comments, and that's because they either 1) came from a non-registered user, so I knew they wouldn't see my response, or 2) it was just a "Kudos" comment or something along those lines that I appreciated but maybe didn't have the time or drive to respond to. But all comments are appreciated, and I do respond to the majority of them. I like engaging with my readers and letting them know I appreciate them sharing their thoughts about my work.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I mean I straight-up kill Stan in Their End, so that'd probably be up there for that reason. But I still think Tell Him had a certain level of foreboding to it that made it pretty angsty (and as popular as it apparently was).

Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever written?

I don't write crossovers, haven't really found a plot for one that's excited me yet.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I... don't think so... Not that I can think of right off the bat.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have not, but I am... not as opposed to it as I used to be. I still don't think I ever will, but I blame my current affinity for pretty helmeted Star Wars men for the fact that I'm not vehemently opposed anymore. But again, not sure I ever would, but will clarify that if I ever wrote it, it would not be posted through this blog/account because this blog is non-explicit, I would make a side account for it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah! DaraDjinn (don't know why Tumblr isn't letting me tag her) translated a couple of my GF fics to French a while back! Catharsis, Scars, and I Dreamt of Fire! Was super psyched when she asked me if she could do it!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I'm not very big on ships at the moment (aside from reader insert stuff, obviously, haha), but way back in the day, I really liked FrostIron (Loki x Tony Stark). It was one hell of a dynamic and really popular. Stucky (Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes) was a close second.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I'm not gonna say A Matter of Time, I'm not gonna say it and put those words out into the ether because I want to finish it I'm just trapped in Star Wars hell right now, but I'm also well aware of what happens when I latch onto a new hyperfixation, I can't maintain two of them, and I hate that because I really wanna finish AMoT and I know there are a lot of you out there that want me to finish it tooooooooo.

What are your writing strengths?

The two things people compliment me on all the time are the flow of my writing and my characterization. I personally love my writing flow, so I'm super glad when other people seem to like it too. When it comes to writing in-character, it's always a big fear of mine, but then I get comments of people gushing over how in-character things are, so that's reassuring and validating af.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I have one hell of a time with anything action-y (which is why... I don't write it a lot, haha). Fast-paced motion is really hard for me to nail down, especially when I like to hammer down details, so the necessity to get through things fast while still maintaining a clear picture of what's happening??? Difficult af.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it completely depends on the situation, both in the fic and in real life. With respect to the fic, if you're writing dialogue in another language, it better be 100% in-character and not awkward. Like, too often you see people dropping in other languages either to use as petnames or to have a "oh oops sorry I accidentally switched languages" which gets... very near that unrealistic trope and can sometimes even come across as fetishizing??? So, like, it better be in-character and within reason. Bear in mind that if you're writing in another language, you better have a translation readily accessible, probably in notes (which, is still annoying because either you have to scroll down to see what they said, or you have to just keep reading not knowing... which, if you're not supposed to know, then alright I guess, but if it's a full conversation that you're supposed to be in-the-know on, it's annoying). With respect to your real-life situation, if it's a language you are personally not fluent in, you better be finding someone who is to run things by them. You can really ostracize your readers and take them out of your story if they speak the language and you say something taboo or blatantly incorrect because you just used Google translate. So, have someone who knows the language double-check your stuff, make sure it all reads correctly. TL;DR: Be tasteful and smart if you really feel the need to do it. Remember you're putting more work on the readers, so it better be worth it. And make sure you have someone check your work if you're not fluent in the language.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Pokemon, back in like 3rd or 4th grade.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I'm still proud of Catharsis, it was my first real delve into very introspective writing and flow, and it's a way of writing that I really enjoy slipping into every once in a while now. Also a lot of really nice descriptions and metaphors and motifs that I'm still very happy with to this day. More recently, I'm proud of Tactility, more for what it did for me rather than the fic itself. Well, I mean, I'm proud of the fic, it was my first delve into the Mando fandom and it got a lot of positive reception, it was exactly what I wanted it to be and came out exactly how I wanted it, especially in the short timeframe that I wrote it. But I'm just... very happy that I did it because writing reader inserts always felt very taboo for me. I've actually written a few before, all of them PG and very tame for different fandoms, but I've always just been... too nervous to post them? And this was the first one I actually felt comfortable posting and wanted to put out there, and it sort-of let me feel more comfortable with it and encouraged me to keep doing it, which I'm happy about because writing reader insert fics is so fun and I'm glad I feel comfortable enough to enjoy it openly now.

Uhhh I'll tag @bunniesofsteel @anistarrose @3hobbitsinatrenchcoat and anyone else who wants to do it, you can say I tagged you :)

#thanks for the tag rin #this one kinda made me think a little bit not gonna lie #tag games

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talesoftextposts · 3 years

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Exactly! Crestoria is not the only game they don't really keep tabs with. A while ago i played a saint seiya game by them and it had many many issues. If you cannot have multiple games with quality than please don't. Is bad for us and the employees, those poor people must be going crazy :c

At first I liked kasque, quite different than what I would expect from a goddess, but I ended disliking her...

I feel kinda bad for aegis just being a punching bag for jokes and Yuna just being there to look pretty, they have a lot of potential for the story. Like you said Yuna had a great point and a good reflection moment but whatever eh? Aegis too, I felt his story like a punch on the gut because I tend to be like him and the queen, but again, whatever...

I do the arena for the free stuff too! I am not competitive at all XD

hello again anon!! im going to do another readmore gksghkeg

yeah i honestly...ugh. i have just a lot of issues w bamco in general but i also Do Not want them to pay attention to me jic they tell me to stop making memes or something stupid like that— like genuinely instead of making the game more functional or adding like...idk. any story or shit that makes Sense they just added things like the transcendence board which is just. for ppl who already maxed out their ascension boards?? after like 6 months??? Y'ALL... ik for a while too the phantom tower was Waaayyy too difficult but i think they nerfed it back to normal considering i can now clear thru level 40 at least :/ but overall the game is just. geared towards ppl who drop fucktons of cash on it. if you look at the ppl in the top 3 in arena rn? you KNOW they've spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on this game. what the fuck.

also minor gripes are just...they don't add very many new units anyway, compared to like even asteria, and i get that there's effort for the whole models or w/e but...i mean if rays can do it... and i don't mean that in the rate that banners are released, bc those are...kind of annoyingly often as of late (looking @ all the crestoria cast alts) but the fact they're only for 1 or 2 charas who are Only ssrs, and it genuinely makes r and sr stones and sr charas just...obsolete and useless imo? like i genuinely have EVERY sr AND r full awakened/ascended which. is probs partly due to the drop rates being Absolute Garbage, but thank god they implemented a pity system, right? ...right? [tired sigh] i've saved enough for julius who has been in crestoria for 228 days, bamco, fucking release h—

i also want to add that i've contacted support MULTIPLE times abt issues w the game and they have legit just told me "hm sucks have u tried playing the game w all other apps closed" like yes, bamco, but that's not the problem??

SORRY for several paragraph rant abt the gameplay i just have some very strong opinions LMAO

i understand not liking kasque! tales antags...and characters in general, actually, are rather hit or miss. i personally just love evil women so im rlly in love w her GSKEHGESKHG

but as for the aegis and yuna things... YEAH. i rlly love them both and it's been extremely disappointing to see how they've been treated by the story :( like even if yuna's acting silly to cover her own feelings, it would be nice to get those scenes we get in other tales games (like...idk even the scenes in xillia like where alvin and elize sit and talk in the park, and leia talks w i think jude or milla depending on the route?) considering it's like...is penelope going to be okay? can she ever go back to her?? is she okay just crossing the sea and leaving her, even if there's really no choice??? sorry for the character introspect i just have a lot of thoughts—

aegis too, it's like. i don't mind teasing to an extent, but i really feel sometimes they go too far w it :( esp in like. events and the character episodes moreso than the main story (tho i could be remembering incorrectly) which makes me wonder if they just have different writers for each but even THEN like the main story still fails to act like yuna and aegis Exist half the time?? and JEEZ yeah i am constantly thinking abt aegis and queen rebecca, esp imo it's just a very... well first of all, that has to be Traumatizing As Hell but second of all i strongly headcanon he was unable to say it bc he didn't mean it and also i have a headcanon that the whole event has kept him from ever saying the words "i love you" ever again so that's that on THAT. (these are my headcanons pls don't send me hate over them they're not canon i promise—)

and honestly same!! i used to be sss rank and then i stopped caring abt arena for a bit and dropped a couple ranks...oops. i'm currently s-5 and had to FIGHT to keep myself there this season. it's not that i rlly care abt winning or being high ranking. or first, even, i just want the prizes from being at a certain rank/placing tbh. which is why.....................................oh im so tired of the ppl with lvl 120 fully awakened new ass units like i GET IT you have MONEY but i am not spending that much on a mobile game!!

ANYWAY thank u for coming to my ted talk omfg im so sorry this is so long (again)

#mod.txt #SSSSSSSSORRYYYYYYY #if u disagree w me pls don't yell at me im sensitive—#these are just my onions i pr #anyway i again apologize for a v long post where i just. bitch abt crestoria ig that's my life now

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meteorherd · 3 years

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IF YOURE STILL DOING THESE— top five albums!? (Sorry if u already answered this! I hope you’re doing well!)

hi emily! sorry this took me so long to get to but i hope youre doing well too!!😊 my answer for this tends to shift a lot so this is just as of now

1) sawayama by rina sawayama- the range in this is SO good. just the way a song can seamlessly go from one sound to another (the metal parts of stfu are coming to mind especially rn) and all the music videos for these songs are great too which is a big plus for me...i love good music videos...anyways my favorite from this album is bad friend but xs and stfu are close seconds. no skip album for sure

2) older by george michael- okay this choice is kind of strange because i have a LOT more favorite songs on faith than in older but as a cohesive whole album older is a lot more impactful to me...legitimately could write a whole essay on how the whole thing is basically a message to george's dead lover that transitions from grieving through isolation (jesus to a child) to trying to ignore the pain by hooking up with strangers (fastlove) to being incredibly bitter at celebrity culture for interfering in his personal life (star people) to finally transforming that grief into love (you have been loved). oops this is long but like i said this album makes me soo so crazy because its SUCH a good depiction of how grief works. i love albums where you have to listen to each track in order to really get the full impact of the artist's message

3) my name is michael holbrook by mika- it used to be no place in heaven but this one is my favorite mika album now! my favorite from this has to be ready to call this love. also i love how so many of these songs are about love and and learning to love even after being hurt...like so many of his songs before this album were just about being sad and that was it. his songs are a lot more hopeful now and well we love that growth...we love to see it :') perfect album for just like...driving through a neon city at night i think.

4) pet sounds by the beach boys- god only knows AND wouldnt it be nice AND i just wasn't made for these times are all in this album so of course it has to make this list...i just unironically love a lot of beach boys music and i feel like people judge me for this but its okay my brain is just huge 😌 i just love the way so much of this is recorded, it's really creative. like the use of the theremin and even stuff like bicycle bells and a lot of other found objects...also i love the layered 60s falsetto alongside all of that

5) lost and found by jorja smith- dear lord this girl makes SO many sad songs hdhfkjhgjk BUT her voice is so so pretty and it just drags you into the story of the song. my favorites from this are the one and wandering romance, i love how like...vulnerable the lyrics sound and she's one of my favorite r&b artists. this album also has late night vibes i think but instead of being in a car youre just walking outside by yourself...introspective

#tysm!#jinkorugbyclub #mailbox

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turningtimeinthetardis · 3 years

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2020 Creator Tag Meme

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

i was tagged by: @alamborghini--thanks for thinking of me! And it’s been lovely to connect with another Twylexis enthusiast, especially one who’s written some absolute gems for them and within the Schitt’s Creek universe in general.

my answers: I didn’t picture myself writing any fics this year, let alone 29 (lol oops, 2020 was A YEAR), but here are my five favorites.

1. All The Pretty Things That We Could Be (T/M, Alexis Rose/Twyla Sands, 63.5K)

I hadn’t written a single line of fic in years prior to this. Then I watched the penultimate episode of Schitt’s Creek (again, Alexis and Twyla should’ve kissed goodbye, I will perish on this hill) and went “I’m gonna write about Alexis and Twyla becoming girlfriends when Twy visits her in New York.” I thought it’d be 5-7K words at most. LOL. I think I’ve written better fics since then, including the second fic in what’s now become a Twylexis AU series, but this was the one that got me back into writing this year, for which I’m really grateful.

2. what did i settle for? just a metaphor (of falsehoods that felt like a home) (T/M, Dani Clayton/Jamie Taylor, WIP)

The Bly Manor suburbia AU no one asked for. Inspired largely by Forgot How To Dream, the iconic “I can fix that” line in Holes, and by @novelconcepts‘ gorgeous fic in the same vein, been so good at wasting time (thank god for july).

3. Analysis of a Second-Act Bildungsroman (T, Annie Edison, 5.7K)

My take on Annie coming to grips with her sexuality/identity and learning to accept/love herself with the help of her favorite boys.

4. Advanced Applications of Personal Introspection (T, Abed Nadir/Annie Edison, 17.3K)

Abed’s never liked the idea of having a muse. But put a gun to his head and say he has to pick someone to play that part?

It’s Annie. It’s always been Annie.

(also yes i know i’m usually all about lesbiannie rights, but in the rare timelines where she’s straight, she and Abed find their way to each other, always)

5. didn’t know rebellion could taste so sweet (T, Britta Perry/Annie Edison, 15.8K)

Just as I hadn’t been planning to write any Schitt’s Creek fic, I wasn’t planning to write any Community fic. And then S1E15 happened with Jeff’s whole “we can look at each other as sexual prospects” Winger speech and I figured “I’ll just write a little thing going off of how Annie and Britta looked at each other.” And, yet again, my muse went “LOL you thought that was it?” and now there’s a whole AU.

tagging: @redlance @novelconcepts @paradigmsofbrittaperry @withatalentforsquaddrill

#fic #writing #the hellscape of 2020 really ended up manifesting itself in creativity for me #which was nice in a way #but also kind of a problem #i'd like to resort to less escapism in 2021 pls and thank you

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heartate-aa · 4 years

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regarding ahri’s early life and life shortly after. // part one of . . . probably two. maybe three.

as ahri’s life began, it was not at all how people, even she, pictured it. her origins are dated to be earlier, though likely not drastically, than 816 AN, but she doesn’t recall a childhood, not truly. her earliest memories consist of living amongst a pack of ice foxes in ionia who took her in as one of their own, though ionia’s animals and plants and their spirits likely sensed that she was no mere fox, either, that she was of vastayan blood.

as such, because she was raised by foxes since she was a little kit, there was quite a good amount of time that ahri spent in the form of an ice fox for the sake of convenience and comfort amongst her little family. for all of her life, she had no contact with any human beings or other vastayans, not of her own ilk nor other vastayan tribes.

ahri doesn’t know where she came from, or who she belonged to, but even from her earliest years, it had been starkly clear that she wasn’t one of them, that she was different — the spirits of nature told her as much, she could see as much, and she could feel it. the power that ran through her veins, her hunger was something more that wasn’t satiated by the flesh of their kills alone, her innate ability to charm their prey into their clutches, to soothe the skittish ones to lull them into her maw, and most of all, her ability to shape shift and take the form of a human. or, something rather close to one. she asked and she pleaded, but none of the ice foxes were able to do any of what she could. they were simply foxes, albeit ones with an intimate relationship with the earth of ionia and its magic. everything is different in ionia. nature is wilder with its own special gifts, a power in its core unlike the other lands of runeterra.

to say the least, having never been in contact with other people like herself, she knew little of their cultures, or of her own tribe’s vastayan culture. despite being alone, surrounded only by the foxes who had taken her in as one of her own, raised her, fed her, taught her to hunt and helped hone her own powers in the hunts, she never felt as if she belonged. she possessed other instincts, among the innate powers that she wielded, the wild magic that runs through her blood. while no one could teach her to use her magic, other than for her to figure it out on her own terms, she at least learned to hunt, and there eventually and finally came a time for ahri to part ways with her pack.

there were the rare moments in time where, during their hunts or travels, that ahri had come close enough to human camps or civilizations and was overcome and overwhelmed with a flood of insatiable curiosity to draw closer, to mingle amongst them and their kind. it was a strange compulsion, one she knew at her core that she should fight. for all of her life with the ice foxes, she had learned to avoid their kind, that they were dangerous, that they would have easily and so willingly taken her life without a second thought, along with the lives of the foxes. even knowing that she was not truly one of them, that she often took the appearance of a being who looked so similar to that of a human, albeit still otherworldly and that of a beast with the ears atop her head and the magnificent and elegant nine tails that she so proudly possessed, they still protected her as if she was one of their own.

so when the band of huntsmen camped nearby her home with the foxes, she watched them curiously, and from this fateful night, her life and her perspective upon her own life changed. she felt the dying spirit drawing out from a hunter’s body, and out of instinct, she consumed his essence. he was the first human she had ever feasted upon, and the power that that began to run through her veins and coil between her bones was unlike anything she had ever felt before. every previous hunt was for survival alone and nothing more, and it had been just enough to fuel her powers in her core, but it became evident that her powers had been dampened, not intentionally however, and that she had not yet fully blossomed into fruition. the essence of a human life, some of whom who possessed wonderful magics of their own to fuel her, were so much more fulfilling to consume. a being without much of a moral compass and acted solely on the instincts of a hunter, a beast who sought only her own survival and the survival of her pack.

she drank his essence, feasting upon the story of his life as his memories flooded into her mind. she lived his life as he died in her arms, and she willed his pain to dissipate, for the agony to be no more, for him to feel a blanket of peace covering him as he passed, for him to no longer feel the sorrow or the worry that plagued him in those final moments. in this moment, she felt closer to humans than ever before. drinking the hunter’s life essence awakened a part of her that was buried deep within her, left forgotten and unknown to the tides of time. his essence, his human essence, awakened the human part within her, and human words she had never known the meanings to before, she could now understand with ease. she felt emotions she had never felt before, and she didn’t quite understand them, not fully and not intimately, but she equated them to similar feelings based on survival whenever she acted in ways that were meant to protect the members of her pack. now, she could put words to the emotions, but she didn’t feel them quite so deeply, not quite on a human scale. she never knew what it was that occurred in their minds, but the hunter offered her an introspective lesson in his final moments, a valuable one that she would never forget.

it was in this that she decided it was time to leave the foxes behind, to travel the world, to learn more of humans, because for the first time in a long time, ahri felt something. she felt excited, exhilarated ! it was a rush unlike any other and she wanted to feel it again. now that she knew the worth of human lives and what they gave to her, what they had in store to offer her, simply feeding on animals alone was not enough for her. the more and more she drank and ate, the more she learned. ahri learned quite a bit just traveling as she took in the sights and spoke to the people in the world and observed their lives first hand, but she learned even more as she killed them and devoured their memories and emotions. still, there were some that she did not kill — she chanced upon the weak and the sickly in villages and offered them a final outing, a more peaceful death than the one they were fated to endure. she soothed them as she drank their essence, instilling them with a sense of calm and a life without pain that they hadn’t experienced in so long. ahri found that she preferred the battle - worn humans, the mages, the ones powerfully skilled with axes and blades. their power and strength bled into her the most and was greater than any ordinary or frail person was. she ate and she ate, and as her emotions grew, as did her empathy and a battle with her own morality.

with all of the memories that ahri consumes, she remains lucid throughout it all, and thereafter. she can draw the line between her own reality and someone else’s reality and know that it is not her own, that they were not her experiences, but the happiness or the anguish that she feels afterwards is still overwhelming. she feels their joy, and her own day brightens. she feels their sorrow, their pain, and she weeps. the pain lingers, and she feels an anguish for lives she did not live, memories she was not there to witness. she learned of other vastaya, that there were other tribes, and she wondered if there were others like her, other fox vastaya. she had to have come from somewhere, and she wondered, how did she end up with the ice foxes ? she wondered if something happened to them, if they were hunted down like animals, if they were collected for their tails or their magic, or if she was just simply . . . abandoned. as powerful as ahri is, it was hard for her to reconcile with the idea that other vastaya like herself would have been unable to fend for themselves.

ahri traveled endlessly and almost aimlessly, but kept one goal in mind — she was going to find her tribe, and if she couldn’t, at least traces of her tribe so that she no longer dwelled in the darkness of the unknown.

she met a countless number of people. some were kind to her and aided her, but it helped that her natural charisma and charm made it easy to trust her, to feel soothed and calm in her presence, even without her going out of her way to utilize her magic to allow that aura to permeate into the atmosphere. there were times where she did have to do so in order to get what information she wanted, but most of the time, it was a power used in self defense or in her hunts.

i will conclude this post here and continue a discussion of ahri’s weaponization of her charm and beauty, as well as her concept of beauty, in a follow up post. this already got too long. oops.

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