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#they are evil husbands
yourangle-yuordevil · 3 months
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If you can't see them they can't see you, right?
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hg-aneh · 8 months
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🙊🙉
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pool party!!
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biceratops7 · 9 months
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OK OK OK OK-
Ok is ANYONE else talking about the “evil coffee” theory yet??? Or is that just the discord I’m in
Cause like…. Who the FUCK puts THAT much emphasis on a RANDOM CUP OF COFFEE??
I mean Aziraphale literally says “I made my position clear” and then Metaron is immediately like “aAAH, but I brought you.. an OAT milk LaTé 👹” with foreboding music and ominous shots like some scene straight out of a fucking Disney movie, OH Kay… I see you you Jafar sounding bitch 😭😂
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Not sorry
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lavashark-and-boygirl · 7 months
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Ugh it kills me that crowley said "heaven and hell are both corrupt, we should distance ourselves from that and work together" and aziraphale heard "i dont want to go to heaven with you" and aziraphale said "heaven and hell are both corrupt, but with powerful positions we can change it from the inside" and crowley heard "i dont want to stay here with you"
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lucradiss · 5 months
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Thinking about how Aziraphale invented lying.
Because Crowley did not lie when he tempted Eve— he told her exactly what would happen, if she took a bite of the fruit of knowledge. She would know the difference between good and evil. He did not lie about that.
But Aziraphale gave away the sword appointed to him by God Herself, and then spun the very first lie to protect himself from her wrath.
Regardless of whether it was a small lie, it was a lie all the same, and a lie directly to God. He, an angel, told the very first lie, thereby inventing the act of lying.
Wouldn’t it be funny if I did the good thing and you did the bad one?
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mirrorhouse · 2 months
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wow..... can you believe i have access to the super top secret classified special version of bg3 where this happens
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mrghostrat · 2 days
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fucking incredible art by @chernozemm (full on ao3)
flawless (E) (35k) (1/5)
When Crowley had snaked himself across the bar top, half purring, half snarling for Aziraphale to live a little, this wasn’t exactly what he meant by it. Not exclusively, anyway. If there was a list of possibilities, it may have been on there somewhere; scrawled as a hasty afterthought, perhaps under a subheading of Things That Would Surely Never Actually Happen. But the sight of Aziraphale lying naked and debauched in the middle of his black satin sheets was not something he was about to hesitate over. (If there was a second list, one surreptitiously scribbled on a napkin in the dark corner of a crowded bar, it would be titled Things Crowley Had No Right To Crave As Much As He Did, and it would start and end with this single bullet point)
@goodomensafterdark
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The honey to my moon 🌬
Husband!Leon S. Kennedy x wife!reader
《A/N》: I'm back babyyyyyyy. Sort of. I don't know, we'll see. This is inspired by 'Alrighty Aphrodite' by Peach Pit so take a listen if you feel like it!! FYI this can be read for ANY Leon (like most of my Leon fics) I just use RE4R Leon in the banner bc of favoritism <3
~Fi 🐝
(Pssst, my requests are open!)
《Content》: NSFW content. proceed with caution. PiV, cockwarming, creampie (don't do that) consensual groping. Very, very sweet, of course! Lotsa domestic moments with Leon, basically a collection of cute moments I think would happen on your Honeymoon <3
Reader is implied to be chubby/ has stretch marks and tummy fat bc who doesn't???? (I still love you if you don't)
《Word count》: 3.4k
Please don't copy my work! I put a lot of effort and heart into the things I write.
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ──🪷── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
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─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ──🪷── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
The, not quite shrill, yet still very annoying sound of your alarm ripped you out of your pleasant dreams. With a soft groan you stirred in the arms of your husband, which you were comfortably pressed against.
After a quick rub of your eyes, a smile formed on your lips as you remembered what day it was.
You turned to face Leon, admiring his peaceful expression for just a moment before you couldn't resist the twitching urge in your fingertips anymore and you gently ran them down the bridge of his nose and over his cheek.
His brows furrowed slightly, and his nose scrunched up at the tickling sensation on his skin.
"Happy one week of being married, baby." You whispered softly, stroking your thumb over his cheekbone.
A dopey grin tugged at his lips, and he pulled you even closer to him with a soft hum. His lips found yours in a clumsy attempt at a good morning kiss.
"My beautiful, beautiful wife..." he mumbled against your lips, making you giggle and melt into his embrace at the same time.
"Can you believe it's been a week already?" You were cut off by yawn that decided to rudely interrupt your sentence.
"No... feels like I just fell in love with you yesterday." He let out a soft breath as his eyes fluttered shut, and he pressed his lips against your forehead, letting his touch linger as he slipped into a moment of comfort and love.
You sighed against his skin, feeling sleep still deep in your bones, but both knew you'd have to leave your shared cocoon of affection sooner than you wanted to.
"We have to get up... we'll miss our flight.." You slurred, fighting the heavy drooping of your eyelids from the warmth that Leon enveloped you in.
He grumbled softly under his breath, something about 'ungodly early flights', which made you crack a grin.
"Alright, up we go.." he groaned, heaving his body into an upright position, with you still securely in his arms, rubbing a hand over his face to get rid of the tiredness that remained in his muscles. With a peck to your nose, Leon stood from the bed, stretching his arms and neck with a yawn.
You crawled up onto your knees, your arms comfortably fitting around the curve of his neck and shoulders as you let your lips find his again in a tender kiss.
"Good morning, my handsome, handsome husband.." You purred, making Leon chuckle.
"Are you copying me, sweetheart?" He asked with a smirk as his hands migrated down to your waist.
"It's the highest form of flattery, don't you know?" You replied with a wicked grin, feeling his fingers dig just a little tighter into the flesh of your waist.
"Yeah, yeah.." he playfully rolled his eyes as you giggled, getting out of bed.
"Come on, we're on a time crunch." You let your hand slip from the embrace of his as you made your way to the bathroom.
He quietly followed you, landing a gentle slap on your ass. You yelped at the impact, jumping forward before turning around with angrily scrunched brows.
"Hey!" You pouted, rubbing the faint red mark on your skin.
"Just crunching time, babe." He shrugged with a cokcy smirk on his face.
You rolled your eyes and huffed some words under your breath, making him snicker.
"Actually, let me help you in there." He declared, reaching you in a few strides and pushing you into the bathroom.
"What- I don't need help brushing my teeth!" You argued, trying to push back against him.
"Who said anything about brushing teeth, huh, honey?" He whispered into your ear, making the hairs on your neck stand up.
"Leon-"
"Whaddaya say we get this Honeymoon started early?" He said against the skin of your neck, trailing soft kisses along the column of your throat.
"No, no, no, we have a flight to catch!" You said sternly, clinging onto the doorframe.
"Oh, come on, baby.. you know how fast I can make you fall apart.." he breathed into your ear, slipping his hands underneath your shirt.
Leon tugged at your middle, firmly enough to make you struggle but leaving enough room if you wanted to back out. With the feeling of his hands on your skin and his breath ghosting deliciously over your neck, you relented, letting your grip on the doorframe loosen.
You gently slipped past the door with him and let out a soft sigh as his lips met your neck once again as the door of the bathroom fell shut.
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
With packed bags, an excited attitude about going on your Honeymoon and a couple of new love bites just below the collar of your shirt, you were off to the airport.
You yawned as you watched the few city lights pass by, the streets empty. No surprise, really.
No person would willingly be up and about at this hours, except a few joggers (who were clearly insane) and the poor souls who'd just finished the night shift.
Leon's hand envolped yours tightly, keeping hold of it while the other one was loosely wrapped around the steering wheel, as you sped down the highway.
"Don't rip my head off, but.." he broke the silence, making you turn attention away from the lights flashing past the window, "you've got all the papers 'n documents and whatever we need, right?" Leon asked, slightly chewing on his lip.
You would never let him live it down if you forget your tickets and other papers just because of the desperate morning romp that had occurred because of his neediness. You would curse him to the sun if you'd had to cancel your Honeymoon purely because he couldn't keep his hands to himself.
You chuckled and whipped out a clear folder with a plethora of printed e-mails, copies over copies of important information, and so on.
"Being overly prepared runs in the family." You chirped, waving around the, surprisingly thick, folder. Leon visibly relaxed, a dopey smile gracing his face.
"So that's why the printer ran out of ink." He mused, glancing your way. You shrugged with a mischievous glint in your eyes and Leon chuckled, pulling you into his side to press a kiss to your cheek before going back to driving down the seemingly endless roads to the airport.
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
"Airport coffee is truly something... special." Leon forced out, clearing his throat and disapprovingly eyeing the dark liquid in his paper cup.
"That's why you get the good stuff." You sipped your hot chocolate smugly, watching as Leon cracked a grin and pulled you into his side.
"Can I have a sip?" He asked sweetly, nosing your hair. You wordlessly handed him the cup as your head went to rest on his shoulder.
"I'll always share with you." A small smile sat on your lips as you quietly told him.
Leon raised a brow at you with the faintest hint of a smirk.
"I know for a fact, that's not true."
"Oh piss off." You grumbled, breaking into a smile.
"Tell that to the cookies you didn't share. Or the leftover Pizza. And the-"
"Okay, okay! Point is, I'm sharing now." You huffed, making Leon grin.
"Thank you, angel." He hummed, placing a kiss to your hairline.
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
You let yourself fall onto the bed with a thump, sighing in relief at the soft mattress beneath you.
"I don't know about you, but I'm ready for a nap." You said, a little mumbled. The bed shook as Leon dropped down next to you, immediately reaching for your hand.
"A nap sounds nice." He sighed, eyes falling shut. You laid in silence and soft breaths for a moment, already starting to doze off. "We could nap by the pool." He suggested, turning on his side to face you. You rolled over in a similar fashion.
"That's just your excuse to see me in a bathing suit and lather me in suncreen." You snorted, poking his chest. He cracked a smug grin.
"Would that be such a crime? A husband wanting to see his gorgeous wife in a bathing suit?" He defended with a smirk, cupping the back of your neck and gently stroking his thumb along your jaw.
"We could get lunch and maybe some drinks..." You thought out loud, weighing your options. You'd either get a good nap and be hungry when you wake up, or you could get a descent snooze plus some lunch, maybe a cocktail and a shirtless Leon.
"Alright, the pool it is." You declared, watching as Leon almost jumped off the bed with excitment.
You both packed a little bag with the essentials; sunscreen, sunglasses, a book, and whatever else you thought you'd need.
Leon was in the bathroom, making a suspicious amount of clattering noises, when he peaked his head out the door.
"Babe?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you wear the blue one? Please?" He asked bashfully, a pinkish tint on his cheeks.
Your expression softened, and your heart melted.
It amazed you how he could straight up ask you to fuck you before your flight, but asking you to wear his favorite bathing suit of yours was flustering him.
"Of course, honey."
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
"... Lee."
"Hm?"
"My ass does not need any more sunscreen."
"Just don't want you to get burned." He pressed a kiss to your shoulder while shamelessly massaging sunscreen into the fat of your rear.
"Leon Kennedy, get your hands off my behind before I beat yours!" You scolded, swatting his hands away.
He grinned and raised his hands in mock surrender.
"You can feel me up all you want in private, baby, but not in public."
"I have no idea what you're talking about. I was just doing my husbandly duties and making sure you weren't gonna like a tomato."
"... you're lucky I love you." You narrowed your eyes at him, huffing when he blew you a kiss.
"I love you, angel." He said softly, retreating to his own sun chair.
"I love you too, you cute idiot."
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
Your wine glasses clinged together as you sat on the cold stone of your balcony, huddle together with blankets and pillows.
It was a clear night, and a few stars decided to show themselves. It wasn't necessarily cold, but the breeze that passed by did make it a little chilly.
There was the crunching of snacks and the chatter and laughter between bites as you watched the stars and the moon illuminate the vast property of the Hotel.
Other couples might've chosen to fancy up and go out for dinner but Leon and you had chosen to do what you did best; not fit in the box.
Instead of eating way too small portions for an outrageous price while pretending that you felt comfortable in such a posh setting and simultaneously being defeated by the ridiculous amounts of forks beside your plate, you had a cozy evening with the love of your life.
You did splurge on the bottle of wine, but it was your Honeymoon, after all.
The gentle gusts of wind coming up from the coast left goosebumps on your skin and a salty taste on your lips.
"Today was really nice.." You spoke quietly, enjoying the peace of the moment.
"Yeah, I think so, too. Can't wait to spend the next two weeks with you like this." Leon replied in a soft and loving tone that almost fell into a whisper. Your head rested on his shoulder, like it usually did, your hand reaching for his.
The cold metal of his ring sent a pleasant shiver up your spine as you entangled your fingers and curled closer into him.
Leon happily obliged your silent plea for closeness and wrapped you in his arms.
"I know that I won't be able to ever put into words how much I love you, so I want you to know that deeply cherish every moment with you." You looked up at him, and his features softened as he gently held your face.
"I know you do. I can... I can feel it. Is that weird? I just sort of feel the love radiating off of you all the time. I hope you feel that when you're with me as well."
You looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky himself, the same ones you were admiring, and everything in him just melted.
"I do feel it. Not only are you my husband, but you're my best friend too. Two-in- one." You smiled sweetly, scooching further up in his hold just to be that little bit closer.
"I'm so glad that I married you." He whispered, firmly pulling your lips against his in a passionate kiss.
You'd never get bored of the feeling when he kissed you, the love and tenderness pouring from it. But there was a slight ache in your heart that you'd never be able to kiss him enough to quench the raging flames inside your chest.
You pulled away for a breath, with puffy lips and shimmering eyes that showed Leon just how much you truly cared for him.
"That makes two."
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
The softness of the bedsheets on his fingertips made Leon brows furrow. He was expecting a different softness; you.
Laying majestically next to him, bathed in the morning sun that poured in, even through the curtains. He lifted his head off the pillow with a disgruntled sound, blinking away the sleep in his eyes to look for you.
There were trickles and splashes of water that gently broke through the comfortably silent atmosphere. There was a slight breeze coming from the open balcony door, making the curtains sway.
Leon made his way to the terrace and, good heavens, the sight before him was enough to make him lightheaded.
You were perched on the edge of the small stone pool that you were extremely excited about ever since you laid eyes on it, skin glistening from the water with your hair intricately stuck to your back.
That would've been enough to make all the blood from Leon's cheeks to rush down south, making his boxers feel tight, but that wasn't all. There were bubbles.
Soft, foamy suds that clung to your hips and the curve of your waist, truly making you look divine with the morning sun shining down on you. Your legs were swishing in the water, taking in the peaceful morning while everyone else was far off in their dreams.
Leon's mouth hung open slightly, and it took every ounce of power in him to stop himself from drooling, but he didn't waste any time sliding the door open further to get through.
The noise made you look back over your shoulder with a soft smile when you saw him striding towards you.
Strong and familiar arms wrapped themselves around you, trying to discreetly feel you up.
"Good morning, honey." You spoke gently, stroking over his forearms that were tightly situated around your middle.
"Absolutely great morning if you ask me." He chuckled lowly, though not failing to press a kiss to your lips with such affection it almost covered any seductive intent behind his words.
"Christ, baby, you look heavenly..." he breathed against your ear, sliding his hands towards your hips to knead at the plush flesh and feel the shimmering grooves of stretch marks beneath his fingertips.
"Thought I'd wake you up with a little surprise for being the best husband a girl could ask for." You replied sweetly, trying to play innocent as if his calloused hands on your wet skin didn't ignite an inferno deep in your gut.
He let out an amused chuckle, slyly moving one hand to the pudge of your belly and the other kneading one of your soft tits.
With a soft sigh, you let your head fall back against his shoulder.
"You look like Aphrodite emerging from the sea foam, do you know that?" He asked gently, making your head spin with the way he was so easily drowning your mind in both lust and affection.
You chuckled, turning on your knees to face him.
"Well, then... will you do me the honors and be my Ares?" You purred, trailing your hand down his chest all the way to his cock straining in his boxers, cupping the member and squeezing gently.
A groan ripped from his throat and his eyes fluttered shut for a moment.
"Whatever you wish, my love." He whispered, guiding you back into the natural stone pool, watching with a ravenous gaze.
His underwear was quickly discarded, and he joined you in the water, backing you up against one of the rounded walls.
One hand on your waist, the other carefully placed on the back of your neck to cushion the hard edge of the stone
. His lips found yours in a loving manner, quite the opposite to his lusting eyes that raked over your naked form, but as much as Leon wanted to devour you, he wanted love you.
He reveled in his love for you. All he needed was to be close to you, as close as reality would allow and if that entailed him buried to the hilt inside your delightful cunt he wasn't one to complain.
Your bodies were pressed together, your tits squished up against his chest, and his dick laying heavy between your thighs. Your lips and tongues danced together like they had done so many times before, eliciting the occasional soft groan or sigh from you and Leon.
The bubbles littered on the water surface stuck to his broad back as you ran your fingers down the length of his spine.
"Can I, sweetheart?" He asked breathlessly, staring at your blown out pupils and puffy lips.
"Mhm, yes, please... need to be closer.." You responded equally as breathless before fiercely capturing his addicting lips once again.
The tip of his cock nudged at your entrance and with a shuddering breath he pushed past your lips and slid snuggly inside of you.
"F-Fuck... my perfect girl... God, I love you so much.." he groaned as quietly as he could, feeling a shiver run through him at the warm embrace of your gummy walls.
He quickly muffled himself by gently biting down on your shoulder.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, and you held him tighter, suppressing any sounds you might've made. Leon slowly rocked his hips into yours.
They weren't full thrusts, but they didn't need to be. This wasn't about an earthshattering orgasm that would knock the wind from your lungs, it was about feeling close and loved and his lazy and sloppy movements into your pussy did just that, with an added bit of pleasure.
Leon continued to rock his hips, dragging his heavy cock against your insides just right.
His pelvis hit your clit perfectly with each sloppy thrust, his happy trail adding to the euphoric sensation.
You were seeing stars by now.
Both of you were still sleepy and sensitive from waking up recently so you were at the brink of your edge already.
"Le-Leon.." You managed to get out between quiet moans that you were trying your best at biting back.
The sloshing of the water and his heavy pants were the only things in your mind as you felt the tight coil in your belly snap.
"Love you, I love you..." he slurred as he, too, reached his end. He came inside of you, pulsing against your insides.
The squeal that you felt bubbling in your throat was quickly swallowed by a hungry kiss from Leon.
He supported himself against the stone, catching his breath before he maneuvered the two of you around so you were straddling him, still nice and full.
"I love you so much, Lee." You hummed, your head resting on his shoulder.
"I wouldn't mind if everyday started like this." He smirked, pressing a kiss to your temple when you lazily slapped his arm.
"Mhm, wanna crawl inside your ribcage and live next to your heart.." you mumbled, tuckered out.
He chuckled and gently stroked your back.
"If anyone else said that to me I'd be concerned."
"You put a ring on it." You argued, pulling your hand from the water and holding it up to him.
"Hm, that I did." He hummed, gently taking your hand and kissing your ring.
"And I'd do it all over again."
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ──🪷── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
I hope you enjoyed <3
(Yes, I'm aware of the bad and weird things that happen between Aphro and Ares, [poor] Hepheastus, man.] Just let me have this okay)
More Leon works --> 💫
《Tag List》: @k-fallingstar @dmitriene @vampkennedy @agrerion
(Lmk if you want to be added to my Leon Tag list!)
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yourangle-yuordevil · 4 months
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The Marvelous Mr.Fell and his fairly enthusiastic assistant 🐍
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icy-blue-eyes · 28 days
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do you ever want to slam your face into a wall and pretend it's Leon's chest instead??
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supportive chris
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mendingcross · 8 months
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spot the difference
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extraaa-30 · 2 months
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how crowley reacts when people on this site shit talk aziraphale
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just a reminder 😊✨
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coffeecupstack · 10 months
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