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myaheartsmarkie · 2 years

Text

addicted - chapter three

word count: 12.9k

playlist: from time by drake, late at night by roddy rich, i want u around by omar apollo, wasting time by brent faiyaz, best you had by don toliver, luv is dro by jack harlow, and party by sik-k!

genre: smut, so much. mild one sided pining, jealous! jeno, angst, fluff (im team jeno yall lol), fwb! to lovers, student athletes! yn + jeno. the boyz! and dream + 127 member make side role! appearances. jaehyun is trying to fight jeno lol, haechan and kevin stir up trouble as per usual

warning(s): smut! smut! smut! (pls, if you're a minor - leave.) lots of swearing!!, jeno is toxic, and boy oh boy does it show. choking, spanking, slight public sex! (they're fucking in the locker rooms again lmaooo), teasing, dom! jeno, sub! reader, face fucking, spit play, cum play, oral (f! + m! receiving), tons of sex talk, established height difference (im not even short so lets not jump to conclusions, but the dominating role i wrote in for jeno imo calls for a significant height difference. im the author so pls respect it. if you don't like it don't read it. thanks.) reader has a smart ass mouth (if you're sensitive? ig..lol my mouth is reckless too so it feels normal) mentions of violence (jaebae isn't taking no shit in this chapter lmao), use of pet names (baby, angel, princess, etc..) jeno can be rough at times in some scenes, but not violent, some dry humping, slight size kink, i think that's it...lmk if i missed anything!

note from mya: ITS FINALLY HERE YALL!! omg this took so frickin long D: im so very sorry & i pray to every god that its worth it ! i worked hard lol. also i had originally written 14.8k but last night it got deleted bcus we had an outage & i guess it didnt back up properly :( but yea, you guys already know. no minors. if you're legal, happy reading :) taglist is posted at the bottom <3 . & of course this isn't revised lmao...fuck that. thanks for your patience & support, ily!

—

“yn?” kevin said softly, knuckles grazing the frame of your door.

he sighs when he receives no response in return. he looks back at jaehyun with a sad expression. jaehyun lets out a sigh, chest heaving angrily.

“i’ll fucking kill him” he mumbles, turning around and stalking to the front door.

kevin scurries to sit the plate of food down and catch his best friend before he reaches outside. kevin grabs jaehyun’s shoulder, halting his movements.

“we don’t even know if it’s because of jeno,” kevin starts.

“i know it is—god, i never liked that dickhead” he says, hands going to grip his hair out of frustration.

“ok…but your rep too—you can’t just beat up the baseball captain and get away with it” he tells jae.

jaehyhun sighs, moving to sit on the couch. he tugs his phone from his pocket, quickly finding your contact.

jaebae: hey…ik you don’t wanna talk rn but me & kev are here for you, ok? you know we always are. so whenever you’re ready, we’ll be here waiting. i love u.

jaebae: …and if it was that fucker j*no i promise you these hands are rated e for everybody, especially if they hurt you.

you smile at the text messages. you love your best friends but right now…you weren’t up for any kind of communication. you were glad they knew that as well. hearting both of the messages from jaehyun before you turn your phone off again, burying yourself under your duvet.

—

it’s been a long ass week.

missing three days of class, constant crying, and using up your vacation days to sulk in bed can be very exhausting. luckily sungchan has been sending you his notes, filling you in on what you’ve missed. he was god sent, truly your guardian angel. his notes were filled to the brim, jotted down sentences in multiple different pen colors, he was so extra. the last photos he sent to you was yesterday. three pictures of his college ruled white paper concluding with a quick selfie of himself with a thumbs up, ‘get better, i miss u!’ drawn across the screen with a tiny heart.

you haven’t thought about him. not today at least…but have you thought about him since the whole ordeal? yes. yes times a thousand. you can’t help it, your mind does its own thing. it doesn’t listen to you, no matter how hard you try to not do so — your mind betrays you. pictures of his stupidly handsome face, his stupid buff arms, and his stupid stupid stupid (very good) dick game. you can’t help it!

you’re surprised with yourself though, the fact that you’ve actually mustered up the courage to block him and not text or call him back. it truly takes a ton of work and you’ve done well these past few days. the countless missed calls from the ‘no caller id’ contact and constant texts from the said man. begging for you to come back and his meaningless apologies. you’ve read them…hell fucking yeah you have, but have you replied? nope.

you sigh, reluctantly sitting up in your bed. you eye the time, 11:06am. you have class at 12…if you get ready now, you can make it on time. you purse your lips in thought, do you really wanna go to class today? you shake your head, tugging the blanket from over you and make your way to the bathroom.

—

jaebae: im going to practice and kev is at sunwoo’s. lmk if you need anything, sweetheart.

you see the text from your roommate, eyes drifting from the mirror to your phone screen. you read it and smile. tooth rotting sweet as usual, what more do you expect from jae? you pick up your phone, texting him back.

you: ok!! thank u but im good rn :) luv ya

you lock your phone, continuing your activities. you press the plus sign on your speaker, upping the volume trying anything to get you into a good mood. mumbling some lyrics here and there while you get ready. once you’re done you twist the door of your bathroom, but you come to an abrupt pause. the house is empty now…which means you have no ride. you facepalm. you can’t text jae now, it’s been like 10 minutes since he left. you internally whine, moving to sit on your bed. you lay back dramatically, huffing as you wonder who the hell you could call. kevin’s free but probably tipsy…afterall in his world it’s always 5 o’clock somewhere. jaehyun and sungchan are at practice, jieun…we’re not even gonna think about her. who else even is there…?

you sit up in a flash as his face pops up in your head. if you remember correctly he has a 12 o’clock class as well, so it shouldn’t be much of a hassle, right? you hurriedly grab your phone, scrolling until you stumble across his contact.

you: hey bestie :D !! i need a ride to class, can you pick me up ?

you cringe at the message, swiping up and out of the app. you bite your lip…were you being too forward? is this crossing any lines? was it too soon?

you: if not it’s cool!! don’t worry about it lol..

you chuck your phone backwards onto your bed. palms covering your face as you groan loudly. was it always this awkward? like…texting? you don’t know, but what’s done is done. mainly because you can’t unsend it.

ding!

you flinch at the sound, reluctantly picking up the cellular device.

eric :) : sure!! be there in five :)

eric :) : ps…cus you’re cute i won’t charge you for gas money :P thank me later

you roll your eyes at the second message, you’re glad he’s not being awkward about it. you were already emotionally fucked up…you didn’t need another problem added to your plate right now. you sigh happily, gathering your things and moving to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. settling on a green apple, you bite the fruit scrolling through your fyp while you wait.

eric :) : i’m here

—

you make your way out the door, clutching your bookbag strap tightly. why were you so nervous? you weren’t even this nervous when you and him went on your first date! this is so backwards.

watching your shoes as you hop down the stairs, making your way to his black jdm. you’re glad he’s not standing outside the car like usual, you’d be too embarrassed to look at him face to face. you grab the handle, pulling the car door open. slinging your bookbag off before you climb in. hand running down the back of your skirt to make sure it doesn’t bunch up when you sit. you close the door before turning to look at eric. when you do you let out an audible gasp.

“o-oh my god!” you say, eyes wide with shock.

eric laughs, running a hand through his hair.

“when the hell?” you say, hand moving to touch his newly dyed hair.

“two days ago, you like it?” he asks, body turning towards yours.

your finger runs through his hair, admiring the new color. his eyes are on you, watching you with curious eyes. you were still so damn pretty.

“i do…it suits you” you smile, retracting your hand from his head.

“thank you m’lady” he grins, hands moving to start the car.

you shake your head, buckling yourself in before he pulls off.

—

you make your way through the hallway, squeezing through the many other bodies. you clutch your book bag to your side, trying your best not to bump into anybody. you stand atop your tiptoes trying to glance over the many heads. you eye your classroom, trying to push your way through in

the direction of your class. you successfully make it to class, pushing through the door and hurrying to make it to your seat. you sit down with a huff, head falling onto the table. if you knew it’d be this stressful you would’ve stayed home.

you sat up, eyes curiously searching the classroom. there were a few other students scattered everywhere, but it wasn’t 12 yet…so more people are sure to show up. you didn’t see sungchan though, you pouted picking up your phone.

you: HEY FUCKER!! WYA???

bambi: ??? you’re in class ???

you: YES

bambi: i’m almost there, save me a seat pls

you thumbs up his last message, sitting your bookbag on the seat next to you. in the last minute or so at least ten or twelve more students poured into the class. you rest your face on top of your open palm, blowing a breath out from your mouth obnoxiously. you really didn’t wanna be here.

—

you and sungchan stretch in unison, fingers reaching towards the ceiling. you guys turn to face each other, laughing loudly. you both gather your things making your way out to the hallway, thanking the professor on the way out. you loop your arm through sungchan’s skipping side by side down the hallway.

“you wanna get some food?” he asks and you nod happily.

“ok, i gotta get my keys from my locker, come on” he tells you, leading you in the direction of the elevator.

the two of you step into the elevator, pressing the number four. you both wait patiently, stepping out once the doors open for the two of you.

“you wanna wait right here?” he asks, pointing at the bench outside of the locker room.

you nod, un-attaching yourself from him and sitting down politely. you cross your legs, folding your hands over your lap. you watch sungchan walk away, both yours and his book bags slung over his figure. you slightly smile, you loved him so much. your left leg bounces, nerves going a little crazy – worried jeno would randomly pop up when you least expect it. you find your nail in between your lips once more, chewing nervously.

“yooo! haven’t seen you in awhile,” a voice shouts from behind you.

you jump, eyes wide as you look over the figure. he walks up to you, hand resting on your shoulder.

“woah, didn’t mean to spook you” haechan laughs, welcoming himself to sit next to you.

“you fucking dick,” you roll your eyes, punching his arm.

“ow! why’re you sitting out here? waiting for jeno?” he asks, teasingly wiggling his eyebrows at you.

you huff out, rolling your eyes at him. you lift your hand again, but haechan grabs your balled up fists so you don’t hit him again.

“it was a joke, i’m kidding” he tells you.

“i’m waiting for sungchan, we’re gonna go eat” you say to haechan, tugging your hands from his grip.

“—and jeno and I are no longer acquainted, thank you very much” you huff, turning your nose up.

“wait, really? why, what happened?” haechan asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

“don’t wanna really talk about it, but he can’t keep his dick in his pants to save his life” you mutter with a roll of your eyes.

haechan makes an ‘o’ shape with his mouth, nodding his head in understanding. you nod as well, turning your head to the sound of the door opening, haechan peeking around your shoulder. sungchan walks out, spinning his car keys on his finger. you stand up, brushing your skirt down. haechan follows suit, standing up as well. he daps sungchan up and gives you a kiss on top of your head.

“i’ll see you guys later,” he yells out, holding the locker room door open.

the two of you waved goodbye to the boy, turning around to make your way to the elevator.

“yo sungchan! i forgot to ask—” his sentence is cut short as he sees who is standing in front of him.

you and jeno make eye contact, your mouth drying up at the sight of him alone. you shift on your feet nervously, swallowing hard. jeno’s eyebrows crinkle in confusion and anger.

“hey roomie…what’d you need?” sungchan asks with a nervous laugh.

“so you’re too good to text or call me back because you’re hanging out with my best friend?” jeno asks, looking past sungchan at you. “hey…i’m both of your guys’ best friends.” sungchan says.

you roll your eyes, turning your gaze elsewhere. you didn’t have the energy to deal with this right now. not only did you not come here for this but you’re hungry as hell. not a good mixture.

jeno scoffs when he realizes you’re not going to reply, “oh so you really think you’re too good, huh? can’t even speak to me.” he says, mockingly laughing at you. “fuck off jeno,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest.

“whatever, are you coming back to the crib tonight?” jeno asks, turning his attention to sungchan.

sungchan thinks about his question for a bit, but he shakes his head no. “i’m going to haechan and yuta’s for the tournament…they want their asses whooped in mario kart again,” he chuckles lightly. jeno nods in understanding, smacking sungchan’s back with his palm. “i’m having jieun over, I needed it empty tonight” he winked at you.

you scoff loudly, can you believe this fucking asshole? you can’t believe you used to like him.

“you’re a dick, fuck you” you say, not breaking eye contact with him. jeno shrugs, leaning down towards your face. you back up in disgust, not wanting to be anywhere near him at all. “let me know when you’re done being petty and I promise I’ll take you back, princess,” he whispers, curling a piece of your hair behind your ear. you smack his hand away angrily. “never in a million fucking years,” you say through gritted teeth, turning away.

you make your way to the elevator, pressing the down arrow. sungchan follows suit, nervously fiddling with his fingers. you huff out, blowing the stray hairs in front of your face away. you were beyond livid right now.

—

[ the (3) stooges ]

you: jeno fucked jieun.

you: and they’re meeting up to fuck again 2nite

you: feeling suicidal :)

kev: WAIT ARE YOU DEADASS??

you: i wish i was fucking lying.

kev: what an asshole…that’s so disappointing

jaebae: i’m omw

[ you and kev ‘?’ this message ]

kev: where are you going???

you: ^

jaebae: to fuck him up .

[ kev hearted this message ]

you: no?? wtf???

kev: ignore her, go fuck him up!!! beat his ass!!!

[ jaebae liked this message / yn disliked this message ]

you: i’m so serious, what if you lose your scholarship :(

[ kev disliked this message ]

jaebae: sigh

kev: fucking party pooper, boo tomatoes boo!!

you: thank you i love u guys

[ jae + kev hearted this message ]

you lock your phone, sitting up off of sungchan’s lap. you make your way to the kitchen to grab a drink. twisting the cap on the bottle of water, you take a few sips as you walk back into the living room.

“who the FUCK threw that bannana?!” haechan asked and yuta smirks in response to his outburst.

“what are you gonna do about it, huh?” yuta asks, throwing another banana towards haechan’s character.

sungchan is quiet throughout the game, eyebrows crinkled in sheer concentration. you eye the gold number one in the corner of his screen. all the other boys moan out in agony as he crosses the finish line. haechan throws the switch controller down onto the couch angrily.

“fuck you” yuta says, flipping your best friend off. you and sungchan laugh at the boys' reactions, finding them amusing.

you guys all looked at the door confused when the doorbell rang. yuta gets up to answer the door, and you all look curiously from your seats.

“eric? what’s up!” yuta says, unlocking the door for him and his friends.

you turn to sungchan with wide eyes, sungchan smiles at you.

“take your mind off jeno for now…he’s my friend but he’s being a dick right now” he tells you, ruffling your hair.

“you invited them?” you ask, and sungchan nods.

“i swear i’m—” you start but you close your mouth abruptly when you hear your name being called. “yn? is that you?” eric asks, you turn around slowly with a sort of awkward smile. “i didn’t know you’d be here, would’ve come over sooner,” eric joked, sliding into the open seat next to you. sungchan rubbed your back before he stood up to walk away.

“you met my friends, right?” he asks, pointing back at his two friends. sunwoo and juyeon wave at you with a smile. “is this your girlfriend?” juyeon asks, you and eric blush madly. sunwoo elbows him in the side, offering a small apologetic smile. “s-sorry, it’s just–when you guys were at the club…i-i thought” the black haired boy stutters.

“it’s fine,” you smile, hands holding your blushing face. eric is just as red as you, coughing at the now awkward environment. “we’re not dating, jackass,” eric says, running a hand through his hair.

“you guys want in?” you hear haechan ask.

sunwoo and juyeon’s eyes light up at his question, practically running to grab a controller. you watch them, laughing at their excitement. yuta then makes his way back to the living room, speaker in hand. what was a small quiet get together is now a very noisy party of seven.

“do you wanna go outside?” eric asks, leaning down to whisper the question into your ear. with blushing cheeks you nod yes, following him out the front door.

haechan looks at sungchan both of them sharing a nod before sungchan pulls his phone out.

[ bsb bozos ]

hae: wooooah yn went with him outside ;)

sungchan: lol fr? just them?

hae: yuuuup

jeno: ???

hae: oh shit

sungchan: wrong gc, fuck.

hae: yea my bad jen lmao

jeno: who are you guys talking about?

[ read 11:34am ]

jeno: you little shits better answer me

[ haechan liked this message ]

hae: i love aggressive men <3

hae: yn went outside with eric :)))

sungchan: stfu omg you can’t hold water for shit.

hae: im sorry D:

jeno: are you deadass?? im omw you fuckers better watch her, if he touches her istfg

hae: you got it daddy— boss!

sungchan: i meaaaan…

jeno: chan don’t fw me rn

sungchan: no bcus you literally told her you were gonna fuck her now ex bestfriend…

sungchan: but now you want us to watch her?? because she went outside with someone??

sungchan: it’s ass backwards…you can stick your dick in anything that walks & she has to be ok with it but when she’s in the vicinity of another man you’re losing your fucken mind. make your mind up jeno, we’re not kids. if you want to be with yn, then tell her AND show her that. stop making shit complicated. we all know you want her.

hae: ok, but it’s giving poet…modern shakespeare if you will 😫 .

sungchan: LMFAOOO stfu haechan

jeno: im not responding to that shit in full, you talk to damn much. but ik im in the wrong, but im selfish ass toxic mf and she knows that. im omw rn, you don’t have to watch her…but i am taking her home so you don’t have to worry about us.

hae: oh we’re not worried abt y’all…were worried for eric

sungchan: ^ yeah…will he be ok? his team still needs him lmao..

jeno: i won’t touch him…

sungchan: im not buying it, where’s the rest

jeno: if he’s not touching her, i’ll be cool.

hae: alright lee, stop texting cus ik you’re driving.

sungchan: ^ adios

—

“wait wait, so you didn’t always live here?” you ask, and eric nods. “nope, i just came back this year.” he confirms, and you nod with a slightly agape mouth. “how are the states? is it as fun as people make it seem?” you question, eric holds his chin with two fingers trying to figure out how to answer. “i like the states…different—very, but it’s enjoyable.” he replies and you nod. “you wanna go?” he asks, referring to the states and you nod excitedly. “ugh, it’s my biggest dream…but i

haven’t gone yet,” you pout, bottom lip slightly jutting out. you wrap your arms around yourself, seeking warmth from your hands.

eric notices and slips out of his hoodie, offering it to you. you shake your head, waving your hands. “it’s fine,” you say. “wasn’t asking, yn” he tells you, already putting the hoodie over your head. you reluctantly push your arms through the holes, pulling the oversized sweater on. eric slides his hands under your hair, lifting it from under the sweater. he curls some of it behind your ear and you look up at him with a sweet smile. “uh, thank..you” you say, fiddling with the hem of his sweater. eric looks back at you, with kind eyes, loving how you look in his sweater. he bends down slowly, inching towards your face. you bit your bottom lip, contemplating whether or not you should let this happen. it’d be wrong, right? to lead him on, you know you don’t like him…not more than a friend. so why let him do this? it’ll only hurt him again. before you know it, he’s centimeters from you, his lips so close to yours. you sigh, squeezing your eyes shut. you wait for his lips to touch yours, squeezing your hands together. your nails dig into the skin of your palms.

before his lips could touch yours, you’re being tugged away from his grasp. your eyes shoot open, you’re now staring at the back of a tall figure.

“the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh?” the man says, his grip on your wrist was tight and unwavering.

“jeno?!” eric says, astonishment evident on his face. you and him both were just as surprised at his presence.

“w-when did you get here?” you ask quietly, trying to pull away from him. jeno turns to you, eyeing the sweater on you. “take this shit off,” he tells you, pulling at the sleeves.

if you didn’t do it yourself he was going to do it himself. you tug the sweater up and off of you, wrapping your arms around yourself. you guys may be on bad terms but you know better than to aggravate an already angry lee jeno. eric scoffs loudly in response to the scene unfolding in front of him.

“yn, what the fuck is going on right now?” eric asks and you open your mouth to respond. “don’t fucking talk to her.” jeno seethes, looking at eric angrily. he throws the man his sweater back and turns away. he grabs your hand, tugging you away from eric. you shriek, looking back at eric slightly waving as jeno drags you along.

“j-jeno, my wrist..it hurts” you say quietly.

jeno stops walking, causing you to run into his back. you stumble, holding your nose from the impact. you look up curiously, wondering why he stopped walking. “you know how angry i get when you do shit like this,” jeno whispers, and your eyebrows crinkle. “w-what do you mean?” you ask. “don’t play dumb.” he tells you, pinning you against the wall. you flinch at the way it feels against your skin, but you couldn’t care less right now.

“everytime i see you with someone that isn’t me,” his hands snake around your waist. “i fucking hate that shit…and you know it” his hands grab your ass, squeezing it until you moan out. “i’m selfish, and you’re all mine baby” you bite your lip, looking up at him with glazed over eyes.

“w-what about jieun…” you whisper, needing to know.

“i fucked up, and i’m sorry..” he tells you curling a piece of hair behind your ear. you nod in response. “did you…” jeno shakes his head, finger grazing your lips shushing you. “no baby, we didn’t…i promise” he tells you, bending down to kiss your head. you nod in response.

you’d rather not talk, it's been a long night. you’re relieved to say the least though…you’re glad they didn’t sleep together. you don’t know what you would’ve done or said if he said they did.

“take me home,” you say, turning your head away from him.

jeno nods, grabbing hold of your hand. “let’s go baby,” he says, leading you towards his car.

—

[ the (3) stooges ]

* ‘kev kev’ added ‘bambi’ and ‘hae <3’ *

you: there’s 5 of us now, gc name is incorrect.

hae <3: omg girl stfu

[ you changed the gc name to “yn for prez :D” ]

bambi: lmfao tf kind of name

kev kev: i hope you know i would n e v e r vote for you :)

you: rude asf.

hae <3: yeah yeah, shut up. what happened yesterday ?!

kev kev: oh yeah! how’d it go last night??

bambi: ^

you: ??? wdym

kev kev: did you get dicked down last night?

you: wtf?? no.

hae <3: mission: failed

kev kev: fat ass sigh

you: wait a damn minute…

you: YOU DICKS!! YOU SET ME UP DIDN'T YOU????

you: i knew it…jeno literally just popped up.

kev kev: IT WAS THEIR IDEA

[ bambi + hae <3 disliked this message ]

bambi: stfu you’re a fucking liar

hae <3: jus because i helped doesn’t mean i was involved :(

you: i’m gonna fuck you two up

[ kev + hae <3 liked this message / bambi disliked this message ]

bambi: yn, i love you

[ you liked this message ]

bambi: it wasn’t me D: pls believe me

[ you liked this message ]

you: <3

[ kev + hae <3 disliked this message ]

kev kev: in FRONT of me ?!

hae <3: ^ ong, ur so fake bro ):

kev kev: fuck u yn :(

jaebae: can you guys shut the fuck up?? i have a game tmrw u asshats

you: sorry :(

kev kev: im shutting the fuck up.

bambi: aye aye captain

hae <3: yes daddy.

—

you skipped down the hall with jaehyun, his arm slung over your shoulder. he insisted on walking you to class today, you were a bit taken aback but you let him do so.

“so, what’s up after class?” he asks. “i go back to practice today—i’m excited” you reply back, a glint showing in your eyes. jaehyun looked down at you fondly, he adored you. “should i be worried..?” you ask, turning to look at him. jae shakes his head no, petting your hair. “just didn’t want you running into him again alone,” he tells you, a small smile spreads across your features.

you wrap your arms around his middle, buying your face in his chest. “thank you, jae…i appreciate you” you tell him, he chuckles lightly. bending down a bit to press a kiss to the top of your head before he turns you around to push you through the classroom door.

jeno watches from afar with an annoyed expression. his fists at his sides, jaw clenched tightly. he hated seeing you with other guys. fuck everybody that wasn’t him. though he knows everything between you and jaehyun is all platonic, it still bothers him.

jae turns around, making eye contact with jeno. he rolls his shoulders back, jutting his chin in his direction slightly—silently greeting him. jeno doesn’t nod back, he just stays still—fists still shaking with rage. jaehyun smirks slyly, turning away from jeno clutching his book bag strap.

—

you sat in class quietly, jotting down notes every now and again. you were mainly zoned out though—pondering on what jeno was doing right now. you pushed the pen into your cheek, clicking the button in and out. you wondered what he had on right now, or if he was listening to music, or if he was thinking about you too. you didn’t know why your mind drifted off to jeno lee, but you couldn’t help it. after the encounter with him last night, he’s been heavy in your head.

ding!

j: come to me after class.

what are the odds, lol. you say to yourself in your head. you pick up your phone, clicking the notification.

j: and you better have me unblocked or else yn.

[ you disliked this message ]

you: stfu i do what i want

you: where and why

j: don’t question me & stop being funny.

j: locker rooms, right after class. not a minute later.

j: don’t make me fucking wait.

you rolled your eyes, leaving him on read. a little riling up never hurt anybody…well, never hurt you at least. plus, you already know what’s going to go down—why not get him all worked up beforehand? he deserves it after all, that little stunt he pulled at the club.

—

you rock back and forth on your feet in the elevator. you were a little nervous. you fiddle with your fingers, rubbing over the acrylic on your nails. it was just jeno…why are you worried.

you: um…im up here, wya?

j: come to the back.

you lock your phone, nodding your head. you push through the swing doors, making your way to the back of the locker rooms. you take a deep breath before you twist the doorknob. you peek from behind the door, everything looks the same. same chair, same desk, same jeno.

“took you long enough” he says through gritted teeth. you don’t respond, you just step fully into the small room before you close the door behind you. “come here,” he tells you.

you slowly make your way to him, eyes on the floor. he’s shirtless, leaning against the desk. sweat is collected above his brow, you wonder if he’s fresh out of practice. jeno’s index finger curls under you chin, jerking your head up. though he’s leaning against the desk he’s still towering over you. his intimidating features and size make your legs tremble. you look up at him, chewing on your bottom lip nervously.

“don’t be so scared love..” he whispers, bending down to be closer to you. you gulp down hard, both your mouth and your throat suddenly dry. “i-i have practice…a-at 2:30” you tell jeno and he smiles down at you. “we’ll be done by then, but i don’t know if you’ll be able to stand.” jeno loops a finger through your belt loop, tugging you into him. as your body collides with his he bends down to catch your lips in a kiss. your hands are awkwardly pressed against his chest, not really knowing what to do with them. one arm is holding you in place, the other placed at the back of your neck. “i missed you,” he tells you through small kisses and breaths. “didn’t miss me when your tongue was down jieun’s throat,” you spit back, slightly pushing him back.

jeno laughs, looking up at the ceiling before his eyes fall back onto you. you cross your arms over your chest. you were going to let him get away with it, but you can’t let it slide. not after what he told you that same day. even after what he showed you? you needed answers.

“yn…come on, i already apologized.” he tells you, hands moving to touch you again. you jerk back so he doesn’t touch you, jeno sighs in response.

“jeno. you told me you loved me, then you went and made out with jieun that same day!” you tell him, and he holds his face in his hands, an exasperated sigh falling from his mouth. “you went outside with eric and left me there by myself, how do i know you didn’t make out with him?” he shoots back at you. you scoff rolling your eyes at his response. “i broke it off with him for you,” you tell him. “ok…and jieun came onto me and i wasn’t thinking straight” he tells you, walking towards you…wanting to hold you. “i was watching you and eric that night, why do you think i was so mad?” he says, eyebrows furrowed in slight anger. “when i came up to you at the bar? that wasn’t when i first got there,” you look up at him, expression full of confusion. “i seen him help you down the stairs, watch your drink, hold your purse—all that shit,” he says to you and you’re rendered speechless. “that should’ve been me…and i swear if i could go back in time and go with you, that night—i would.” he concluded his statement, hands holding your face softly.

you stand on your tiptoes to capture his lips in a kiss, you knew you would fold and forgive him…all you wanted was a proper apology. you couldn’t stay mad at him for too long…

“are you still mad at me?” jeno asks after he pulls away from your lips. you respond silently, bringing your hands up to show ‘just a little’ with your fingers. the both of you laugh, going back to making out. jeno’s hands grip your waist tightly, if he’s speaking honestly he’s afraid of letting you go. he feels that if he lets you go he’ll lose you again…and he can’t risk that, never again.

“don’t leave me again…” he whispers, lips barely grazing yours. “never leave me…please” he’s practically begging right now. “don’t do shit to push me away then jeno,” you tell him, arms wrapped around his shoulders. he nods in response, arms wrapping tighter around your middle. he squeezes you softly, inhaling your scent.

—

the last few days have been hectic to say the least. you and jeno have been in contact, very much so in fact. you’ve been over to his place a few times but you haven’t brought him around jaehyun yet. you feel kind of bad, he tried so hard to protect you from him but you went right back. so you don’t have the heart to tell him you guys are on good terms just yet.

jaebae: im waiting outside, sungchan is here too !

you: okaaay, im coming rn just have to grab some things from my locker.

[ jae liked this message ]

“look at you, what have i done…” jeno says into your ear, licking the back. “you were such a good girl, where’d she go? hm?” you don’t respond, you just look up at him from your place on the floor. your pretty eyes are glazed over with wetness from your previous activities.

“you just do everything i fucking tell you too, huh?” jeno’s hand goes back to your hair, gripping your locks firmly. “such a good little slut for daddy,” he praises you. your bottom lip is caught between your teeth, biting down hard enough to draw blood. you look up at him wanting for him to do something so badly. jeno looks down at you slyly, smiling at you sickly. “you want my cock, baby?” he asks rhetorically, bobbing your head up and down for you. “yeah? huh? you want it?” he asks, making you nod your head again.. “p-please…” you whisper, looking up at him with teary eyes. jeno groans audibly, grip tightening on your hair. he jerks your head in the direction of his pants, squishing your face against his clothed boner. you whine, hands going to grip his legs to stabilize yourself.

“unzip em, now” he tells you.

you nod, hands shakily moving to unzip him. jeno jerks you back by your hair again, and you yelp. he bends down slightly, getting close to your face. “use your fucking mouth” he says, unoccupied hand squishing your cheeks. he hallows them out, forcing your tongue to poke out. he stands back up to his full height, moving you back to in front of his bulge. you open your mouth teeth grazing the cold metal of his zipper. you grab the zipper with your teeth, pulling it down—unzipping him.

“such a good slut for me,” jeno praises once you free his rock hard cock. “open.” he demands and you obey. lolling your tongue out of your wet mouth, waiting patiently for your treat. jeno strokes his dick a few times, thumbing the tip. he spreads his pre cum around, making your anticipation and need for him run wild. he leans forward, spitting into your open mouth.

“you ready for me?” he asks and you nod, mouth still hanging open.

he slaps the tip on your tongue, grinding against you a few times. low girthy groans leave his mouth, loving the wetness of your mouth. your arms are politely crossed behind your back, knowing you're not allowed to touch him unless he says so.

“fuck, i missed this” he moans out, pushing deeper into your mouth. his tip is hitting the back of your throat making you gag but you couldn’t care less. jeno’s other hand goes to your hair, pushing further down your throat. you gargle around his length, choking on his size. jeno loves the sound of you choking, ego boosting a bit as it reminds him how big he is. he looks down at you, sweat dripping down his bare chest and forehead. hot tears roll down your face as you look back up at him. he fucks into your mouth a few more times, nearing his orgasm. you shut your eyes tightly, letting him abuse your throat roughly. “f-fuck—shit” he mumbles, biting his lip as he empties his load down your throat messily. a mixture of your salty tears, spit and cum drips down your mouth and chin. jeno bends down to look at you closer, eyeing the slick mixture of nastiness as it drips down. it all pools atop your cleavage but you were too busy trying to catch your breath to care. you gasp in and out, chest heaving. jeno smiles sickly. god he loved ruining you.

“you’re so hot, i fucking love you” he whispers, crashing his lips onto yours.

—

“hey! what took you so long?” jae greets you with open arms.

you slightly smile, accepting his free hug. he holds the back of your head, his other hand rubbing your middle. you sigh out of sheer habit, you were a sucker for hugs like these. may or may not have to do with you liking to be dominated…but who cares?

“mmm, my bad…ran into an old friend” you mumble into his chest. jaehyun just nods, still holding you.

“alright fuckers, we’re hungry. let’s go!!” haechan yells from his seat in sungchan’s car.

you and jae laugh, parting from each other. he opens the car door for you, and you accept happily.

j: stop letting that fucking asshole touch you.

you: why are you even watching us???

j: that’s how i hold you after im done rearranging your guts, he’ll never be me.

you roll your eyes at his jealous texts. the toxicity is real.

you: what are you on about?

j: fuck jeong jaehyun that’s what.

you: omg. bye jeno.

j: don’t play with me, i’ll fuck you in front of him.

you: is that a threat or a promise?

j: you into that ?? such a nasty little slut.

you: your slut. now get off my phone, im with my friends.

j: i love you

[ you liked this message ]

—

“so~ what you been up too?” haechan asks you. you roll your eyes, biting the fry in your hand.

you were seated in between haechan and jaehyun. the six of you guys occupied the booth in the back of the burger joint. it was just the four of you guys, but you guys ran into eric and sunwoo so haechan extended the invite.

the more the merrier you guessed lol.

“not much, i had practice yesterday…haven’t been there in awhile” you say, haechan nods in response.

“ahh, fun. you like being back?” he asks with a full mouth of hamburger. you don’t even flinch at it, you guys are more than comfortable with each other. “i like it, I missed playing,” you respond.

you fiddle with the straw in your cup, you’re very full and kind of bored now. you watch everyone talk and chow down. haechan and sungchan are talking about some new girl on the cheer squad, sunwoo and jae are talking about god knows what. but eric…is looking at you. you hold eye contact with him, you wonder what he’s thinking.

eric: can we talk?

you look down at the text and look back up at eric. he nods at your phone, telling you to text back.

you: …about?

eric: yk what yn…come on. pls?

you: idk eric…i don’t have anything to say.

eric: what? we almost kissed that night

eric: i gave you my sweater dude

eric: none of that meant anything? none of it?

you: eric, i already told you…i like you as a friend.

eric: you were gonna let me kiss you that night

you: i know..and i shouldn’t have, i’m sorry

eric: i don’t want your sorry

eric: i want you

eric: please, give me a chance yn

“can you take me home?” you whisper into jae’s ear. you clutch the bottom of his shirt tightly.

“wha? are you ok?” he asks, too loud for your liking. you look at eric out of the side of your eye, he’s staring at the two of you. you were never good with confrontation, but in your defense you already shot him down. one time should be enough.

“ok, babe let’s go.” he tells you, holding your hand.

he guides you out the booth, helping you stand up. you clutch his hand tighter, just wanting to be home at this moment. “yoo, where are you guys going?” haechan slurs, obviously having had one too many beers. “i’m—” you cut him short. “s-say it’s because of you,”

“i don’t feel too well, and she’s sleepy,” he lies with a pretty smile.

you couldn’t have asked for better friends.

eric looks like he’s about to say something but he doesn’t. he watches you quietly, walking away hand in hand with jaehyun.

—

“so he made you feel uncomfortable?” kevin asks, fingers running through your strands.

you nod, nuzzling your face into his lap, sleepiness overcoming your senses. “i know it’s kind of my fault—i shouldn’t have let him almost kiss me..” you confess. kevin hums in response, still rubbing your head. it was putting you to sleep, relaxation was inevitable due to his motions.

“it was still a dick move though, i’m glad jae was there.” kevin says and you hum, agreeing with his statement.

“so what’s up with you and lee?” he asks, figuring you would like a subject change.

you shrug.

“not sure, we’ve been fucking…a lot” you mumble, finger tracing the plaid pattern of his pajama pants. “—and he tells me he loves me, but i don’t know kev” you continue on.

you didn’t want to ramble but you have lowkey been pondering on where the two of you will end up. especially since he’s been more open with his feelings and focusing on you more than he has ever before. there was just a tad bit of an issue.

!! lee jeno doesn’t date !!

duh! this has been the issue since the first time the two of you fucked, yet it feels different now…you can’t deny that. something deep down is telling you he’s going for a different approach but after what he pulled last time you’re not so sure. you don’t wanna be the dumb girl that continues to give your heart to the asshole that keeps breaking it. but then again, you’re a grown ass adult and can make your own grown ass decisions. who’s going to say something about it?

—

“jeno, stop it!” you whined, kicking your legs like a child.

you’ve been trying to do your homework for the past hour or so now and jeno keeps on bothering you. tickling, biting, licking, kissing, you name it, he’s done it. you’re splayed across his bed, laptop in sight but certainly not in use. jeno is standing in between your legs, looking down at you.

“nooo, fuck your homework…cuddle with me” jeno whines.

his hands trace your bare thighs, the pads of his fingertips tracing the faded hickeys and bite marks left by his mouth. you shiver at his cold touch.

“i dont think i’ve fucked you in this position” jeno whispers, gripping your waist as he bends down to be face to face with you. “um, yeah you did actually,” you tell him, mind dating back to that day he cuffed you and fucked you for not listening to him. you press your finger to his forehead, pushing his face away.

“i don’t remember…” he whispers, making his way up to your ear. “...i guess i’ll just have to do it again,” he says slyly, kissing your ear softly.

jeno traces your skin with his nose, dragging it from your earlobe and down your neck slowly. he licks a stripe up your throat. you bite your lip, but you have to hold your own.

“no jeno, not right now…later” you say, your voice betraying you. “you don’t sound so sure of yourself,” jeno laughs, pecking your cheek. “shut up, get off me” you roll your eyes, pushing at his chest knowing you can’t push him if your life depended on it.

“gimme fifteen minutes, come on” he tells you, intertwining your fingers with his.

“come on pretty…you know you want me too” he teases, grinding down on you with a sick smirk.

you did want him. when did you not? you roll your eyes at him, letting your head fall back onto the mattress.

“good girl,” he snickers, kissing your nose.

“yeah yeah, get on with it” you say.

jeno falls to his knees, hands automatically grabbing your thighs. he hoists your open legs onto his shoulders. he eyes your panties, leaning forward to kiss your clothed heat. he looks up at you but your looking away. too embarrassed to watch right now. no matter how many times you guys fuck, you’re always shy.

“look at me babygirl..” he says, voice muffled because his mouth is pressed against you. he pushes your panties to the side, tongue immediately going to tease your clit. you clutch the bedsheets under you, still refusing to look at him. jeno chuckles, arms wrapping tighter around your thighs. his hands squeeze your inner thighs, pinching the supple skin. jeno licks a stripe up your slit, moving his tongue in a circle atop your clit. you moan quietly, not too loud.

He eyes you again, but you’re still looking away. he breathes out, teeth grazing your thighs. he bites down, sinking his teeth into your inner thigh. you jolt, sucking in a breath.

“oh my god!” you shout, sitting up onto your elbows in a flash. “fucking listen to me” he says, licking over where he bit you to soothe the pain. a whine comes out your throat as you lay back down. jeno just laughs.

“now…back to my meal,” he snickers.

he continues to eat you out like a starved man. you learned your lesson, watching his every move.

“fuck,” you stutter, struggling to keep your eyes open. jeno loves it.

“keep em open, baby” he tells you in between licks to your heat.

he sucks on your clit, middle and ring finger moving in and out of you quickly. your fingers dig into the sheets, gripping tightly to the fabric. you moan out loudly, thankful that the apartment is empty.

“are you close?” jeno asks, and you nod furiously.

he fastens his pace with his fingers, unattaching his mouth from you so he can get a good look at your face while you cum. a free hand goes up to squeeze your boobs, rolling your nipple in between his fingers. you let out a shaky moan as you feel that familiar fuzzy feeling in your gut.

“i’m close–so close” you manage to say.

jeno nods, licking his lips. he dips back down to your heat, sucking on your clit again. you arch your back at that, thighs squeezing against his face. jeno pushes your legs back open, a small grunt leaving his mouth as he does so. he twists his tongue every which way, getting you to your high. “f-fuck” is all you can mutter before you cum.

jeno laps it all up. his saliva, your juices and release all mixed together making a slick mess. you push him away weakly, whining because your sensitive. jeno keeps eating though, not bothered by your weak attempt to get him to stop.

“always so sweet,” he says with a toothy grin, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

you don’t respond, just flipping him off. jeno rolls his eyes, grabbing your hand. he uses it to flip you over on your tummy. a small squeal of surprise leaves you, you weren’t expecting that.

“you got your release, now i want mine” he tells you with a small smack to your ass.

he climbs atop his bed, hands holding your hips. he pushes his clothed cock against your ass letting you feel how hard he is. you bite your lip in response. you were still sensitive. nonetheless you grind against him, rubbing your core against his boner. jeno lets out a low moan, pushing up against you too. you let your head fall against the mattress, hands laid flat against it to keep yourself upright. you swivel your hips, pushing harder against him.

“fuck, im about to cum in my pants” jeno says and you laugh lightly.

jeno slips out of his sweats with a quickness, wanting to at least be in you for a few before he actually cums. he aligns himself with your hole, pushing all the way in.

“a-ah, fuck” you say, looking back at jeno over your shoulder.

“you’ve been taking my cock all week like a good girl, you don’t need to adjust anymore,” he says, pushing in and out of you at a quick pace.

you can feel every vein on his cock, it’s making your head spin. he grips your hips, steadying himself as he drills you from the back. you squeeze your eyes shut, gripping the sheets under you tightly. you feel like you’re about to cum already. he fucks you fast and hard, his head thrown back girthy moans coming from his throat. sweat drips down his bare chest, a work of art he is. you were sure your hips were gonna bruise though as hard as he’s holding them.

“always so fucking tight, i love it” jeno says, bending down to be right in your ear.

he uses a hand to grip your thigh, pulling it forcing you to spread your legs wider. you yelp in surprise. his other hand presses to the small of your back, telling you to arch.

“f-fuck, there you go–-good girl” he leaves a smack to your ass, fucking into you even harder.

he’s no longer holding your hips. both his hands are holding the headboard, using it as leverage so he can drill you as hard as he wants. you let yourself go, not even bothering to say you were close. clenching down onto him as you release yourself. he moans at that, feeling the extra wetness. he doesn’t stop though, he keeps going. you feel your nerves going crazy, you were sensitive before but now you were extra sensitive.

“i’m sensitive, jeno” you whine, using your hands to try and push his hips to make him stop.

“move your fucking hands” he sneers.

he grabs both your wrists, pinning them to your back. he continues to fuck you mercilessly. hot tears run down your face, pooling onto the bed sheets. he climbs up your body, making his way to your face. “cum for me, princess” he whispers to you. he kisses your face a couple of times.

“come on, you can do it” he tells you. you shake your head vigorously. “i know you can do it baby,” he pressed a kiss to your cheek lovingly.

it blows your mind how sweet he’s being. kissing on you while he fucks the shit out of you. backwards, but makes complete sense as far as lee jeno goes. you let go, that little knot in your tummy coming undone. jeno continues to push in and out of you, allowing you both to ride out your highs. you breathe heavily as you try to calm your nerves. you just came three times in a span of an hour. man he’s good.

“you did so well,” jeno says as he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“you’re not touching me for the next two weeks” you say, flicking his forehead.

“now you know damn well,” jeno laughs, laying down next to you.

—

“i wanna tattoo” jaehyun says.

“woah, really? you’d look so hot” haechan says with a mouth full of food.

“on everything, where do you want it?” you asked, sipping on the drink in front of you.

you and the regulars were currently on a “once a month lunch date”. your very own friend holiday that you guys created to make sure you guys always stay in contact. today haechan and sungchan crashed you guys, but it’s fine. they’re basically your roommates too.

“i’m thinking about the forearm” jae answers and you nod.

“everytime you play everyone will be able to see it, good spot” kevin agrees.

“do you know what you wanna get?” sungchan asks, jaehyun shakes his head no in response.

“regular you already gets all the girls, now imagine when he’s tatted” sungchan jokes, you guys all laugh. “man, but i never see you with any” haechan says, looking at jae for answers. “kid you not, as long as we’ve been staying together he hasn’t brought one girl home—ever.” kevin says and you nod. “i can second that statement” you agree with kevin.

jaehyun rolls his eyes in response. “you guys are so embarrassing” he groans, toying with the food on his plate. “it’s true!” you and kevin say in unison. “kev brings home a new girl every week,” you start. “yeah, and yn used to bring jeno over everyday” kevin jokes. “haha, so funny kev. it was not everyday.” you give him a dirty look. “oh please, the man was practically living there,” he follows up. “oh my god, it was like…once or twice a week!” you defend yourself. jaehyun shakes his head with a laugh.

“it was like everyday…” jae says, scratching the back of his head.

“fucking traitor,” you mumble with a pout.

“speaking of jeno…” kevin starts.

“conversation over.” you shut him down right away.

“come on, let’s talk about your potential baby daddy,” haechan teases.

you roll your eyes in response to their teasing.

“damn, no rubber? you’re wild yn” sungchan says with a laugh.

“plastic is bad for the environment, you should be thanking me” you joke.

the table erupts in laughter at your joke.

“get the bill so we can get the hell out of here”

—

you and jeno were cuddled up on the couch, flicking through selections on the TV. you were stuffing your face with the popcorn while he tried to find an anime you guys haven’t watched.

“what about death note?” he asks.

“love it, but i just rewatched it” you respond.

“anohana?” “menma is kinda annoying,” “boruto?” “nah, the manga is better,” “full metal alchemist?” “i’m sleep already,” “oh my god. what about jojo’s?” “character design is trash as fuck, hard pass.” “I GIVE UP” jeno says.

you look up at him like he’s crazy.

“the hell is your problem?” you say with a mouth full of popcorn.

“you’re so picky!” jeno sneers, handing you the remote.

“next time i give you head i’m gonna bite the tip” you say, snatching the remote from him.

“shut the hell up,” he laughs, wrapping an arm around you and leaning his head on your shoulder.

“ew get off me, i’m mad at you” you tell him, jabbing your elbow into his middle.

“just find something baby, damn” he whines, holding your arm in place so you don’t hit him.

“the holy grail itself,” you say with a wide smile.

“this? this is what you chose?” he says with a look of disgust.

“i don’t take cowboy bebop slander, you can shut the fuck up” you say, waving your finger in his face dramatically. “you chose this over all those other choices? really?” his mouth is agape.

“you must’ve never seen this one,” you retort. “hell no, it’s old as fuck!” jeno laughs.”shut up and watch it, you’re gonna love it” you press play on the first episode.

—

“someone’s been living the good life, huh?” yuta says with a smirk.

jeno looks back at him confused.

“huh?” yuta shakes his head, turning him around in the mirror.

the red scratch marks and bite marks decorated all over his backside. yuta laughs, patting his shoulder. “i’m tryna get like you” sungchan laughs, joining in on the conversation.

“different girls?” yuta asks and jeno shakes his head no with a disgusted expression.

“haven’t so much as looked at another girl since i got mines,” he tells yuta, pulling his jersey over his body.

yuta nods with an impressed expression.

“so…we’re all thinking about the same girl, aren’t we” haechan says and all the boys start laughing.

“tell yn we said cut her nails” yuta jokes, slapping the back of jeno’s head before he makes his way out.

“go figure, look who’s calling me” sungchan laughs, turning his phone so everyone can see.

jeno sits down on the bench slipping his cleats on.

“what’s up babygirl” sungchan says when the call connects.

he laughs at jeno’s glare.

“wait what? slow down,” sungchan tell you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

jeno perks up at his serious tone. he motions to his ear, sungchan tosses him his airpod case.

“i don’t know, i just—can you come here, please?” you say, voice shaky.

you sounded scared but jeno didn’t know why. he needed to know.

“where is she at?” jeno mouthed and sungchan nodded.

“where are you at, baby? send me your location, i’ll come get you” he says and you nod, doing as you were told. “okay, i sent it” you sniffled. jeno was losing his damn mind. why didn’t you call him?

“don’t tell jeno, please…” you say, and sungchan looks up at him.

jeno shakes his head no.

“babe…i have to tell him,” he tells you.

“no! please don’t, please chan…i’m begging you” you plead and sungchan nods.

“ok, i won’t. i’m coming right now, don’t go anywhere.” he tells you and you shake your head yes.

“ok, thank you…love you” you say before you hang up.

“let’s go, now.” jeno says, grabbing his keys.

—

“i told you not to tell him, sungchan!” you said, stomping your foot.

you and sungchan were standing a few feet away from a pacing jeno. not super far but just out of earshot.

“i couldn’t not tell him yn! he was right there when you called me,” sungchan said, defending himself. you groan, hands flying to your face. you sink down to the ground, shaking your head back and forth. sungchan rolls his eyes at your dramatic actions. he crouches down to be at your level, joining you on the floor.

“he’s gonna fucking kill me” you mutter, squeezing your eyes shut. “come on, it can’t be that bad” sungchan tells you, rubbing your back. “i came here with eric!” you whisper shouted, looking back to see if jeno heard you. “oh….yeah you’re dead” sungchan says, scratching the back of his head with a sheepish smile.

“come here yn,” jeno says.

you swallow harshly, standing to your feet. you stuff your shaky hands into your sweater pockets. shuffling towards where jeno stands, your eyes watch the gravel under your sneakers. once you're in arms length, he grabs your forearm, tugging you towards the back seat. he opens the door aggressively, jerking his chin forward telling you to climb in. you do so, sitting in the middle seat. you fold your hands and rest them on your thighs. jeno tosses sungchan the keys before he climbs into the back seat.

—

the air is thick. awkward and super quiet. even though there’s music playing it still seems super quiet. you look over at jeno. he’s staring out the window, jaw clenched tightly. even the grip he has on your thigh is strong.

“j-jeno?” you whisper.

he doesn’t respond, he just turns to look at you.

“if you’re not gonna tell me why you were here, i don’t wanna hear shit from your mouth” he sneers. you flinch, his words hurt you. he’s never talked to you like that before.

“i-i was here with someone…but something came up! i j-just needed a ride home” you lie, believably so at that. jeno wasn’t buying it though. he knows you too well.

“you’re lying. don’t fucking lie to me, yn” jeno says, he raises his eyebrows at you.

his serious expression made your stomach churn.

“i was here with eric…” you admit.

“i knew it! i fucking knew it—dammit!” jeno yells, fists flying full force to punch the passenger seat in front of him.

“why? why were you with that son of a bitch?” he asks you, rage evident in his voice.

you hiccup, trying to calm yourself down and steady your nerves. you scoot back from him, sliding into the seat on your left hand side.

“it wasn’t anything like that! he wanted to talk, and that’s all we did…” you started. jeno rolls his neck from side to side. jaw still clenched as he stretches his muscles. “he didn’t like my answer to him, so he kicked me out of his car and left me there” you shrugged.

“he did what?!” sungchan and jeno shouted at the same time.

“this is why i didn’t want to say anything!” you whined, hitting your head on the back of sungchan’s seat groaning.

“sungchan take me home, please” you say to your friend. he nods, picking up his phone to type your address in.

“you don’t wanna come home with me?” jeno asks and you shake your head.

“i think we both need some time alone,” you tell jeno. “fuck that, i wanna be with you.” he tells you. “did you not see how you just reacted?! you need to blow some steam off, away from me” you shake your head, crossing your arms over your chest.

“whatever yn,” jeno scoffs.

“fucking kids” sungchan laughs, continuing to drive.

—

“ow! stop, i’m sorry!” kevin cried as you pinched his ear. jeno and the other boys watched in amusement as you inflicted pain on the boy. “twist it!” haechan yelled out with a laugh. sungchan giggled, slapping haechan’s arm as he snorted loudly.

“are you gonna do it again?” you ask tauntingly, kevin nods vigorously. “no, i swear to fucking god–just stop” kevin cries out, and you let him go. he pouts, hand flying to rub his throbbing ear.

“and fuck you, haechan!” kevin sneers, chucking a pillow in his direction.

you laugh as you make your way over to jeno. you climb onto his lap, making yourself comfortable on his lap. you snuggle into him, his hands wrapping around you.

“you’re a little bitch,” jeno whispers, kissing your face. “mhm, what are you gonna do about it?” you stick your tongue out at him. he shakes his head, pinching your thigh. you whine, pushing his hand away. “yeah, that’s what i thought, don’t act tough with me” jeno says and you giggle, nodding your head.

“haechan would be a really good name for y’all kid” hae says, tossing a pillow at the two of you. jeno catches it, throwing it back his way. “i don’t know why the fuck you thought our pitcher wouldn’t catch that” sungchan deadpans.

"can you like shut the hell up? i like you better when you're not talking" haechan says, flinching at the taller boy.

“fuck no, kevin is a way better name!” kevin shouted, slapping the back of haechan’s head. “all i know is…i wanna be the godparent,” sungchan says with a wide smile.

—

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xlady-saya · 4 years

Text

I want this touch to be familiar [Ch. 3]

Relationships: andrew/neil, side aaron/katelyn

Summary: Deep down, Andrew knew he would always reach this crossroads, a time where the thought became too strong to ignore.

Going all the way with Neil. It’s not something he can continue to avoid thinking about. When Andrew looks back to the days where he held Neil’s hands down, when he never got off with him in the same room, he’s forced to acknowledge how much he’s allowed.

Not allowed. Welcomed. Wanted.

But that’s not all there is to it, and the desire to make a decision finally makes itself known.

Tags: first time fic, p*rn with feelings, relationship study, fluff and communication, multichapter

Read on ao3!

They do in fact, kick Kevin out.

To say it's extremely satisfying is an understatement, and Andrew doesn't try to deny himself the feeling. In this case, it's deserved, and a long time coming.

Kevin's not happy about it, especially since they offer him no further explanation. They've never asked for privacy so explicitly; Andrew never realized it before, how they’re used to accommodating everyone else, used to waiting until Kevin and the Foxes aren’t around to have their time to themselves.

Rushed, heated, timed.

This had been different. This time Andrew let himself be greedy. Nicky at least reads the mood well enough to make himself scarce. Andrew doesn’t care about the teasing; he’s adamant about his reasons, the need to carve out time to navigate this new experience. Not only that...but something possessive and antsy fuels him in the moment. This is just for him and Neil.

He won't risk a walk in and a hasty cover up.

All Andrew has to do is drop Thea's name and threaten to do Neil in the locker room for Kevin to finally get the damn hint and fuck off.

Dealing with Kevin is familiar territory, even post their deal. It's nicer, letting him fend for himself while not cutting the relationship loose entirely, but Andrew's concept of friendship is one he's still exploring and definitely not something he needs to think about right now.

Right now...right now is not familiar territory.

He walks back to the bedroom as Kevin mutters about having to leave, out of Andrew's mind before he's even out of sight.

He's distracted, so focused, lost.

There are glimpses of the familiarity he craves though, remembered through his own fingertips and his memory. The promise of soft lips and scars that follow the curve of a runner's body, hips pressed down and warmth. Neil.

Neil, who is ready and fresh from an extra long shower.

As soon as he crosses into the bedroom, the presence is electric, Andrew almost thinks the static will shoot from his fingertips. He doesn't know how Neil ever survived on the run, how he ever blended in. His everything is loud. Before the slam of the front door even echoes through the dorm room, Andrew's eyes are on him. It would almost be amusing, seeing the little jump of Neil's shoulders at the intensity, if he wasn't so taken by the mere sight of him.

Of course he finds his gaze already returned by the striker, all fire and an almost beckoning quality.

Nicky would probably call the look 'fuck me eyes,' and for once Andrew is inclined to agree.

He intends to.

A shiver runs down his spine at the thought; he watches Neil bite his bottom lip, plush beneath his teeth, and Andrew licks his own from the muscle memory. He’s chased after those lips so many times…He wants to bite down, to claim them, as if he has to. Neil only ever looks at him, and the fantasy already begins to cloud Andrew's mind.

He’s it for Neil, Andrew’s brain tells him then, stroking the flame. His first. Andrew pushes that thought away, too optimistic, too ideal, and fiercely territorial. The thought he’ll have Neil forever…it’s too much to bring into the equation.

Especially when Neil won't stop rubbing his fucking thighs together.

The striker squirms in place on the bed, not subtle in the slightest as he checks Andrew out from head to toe. Neil lingers on the line of Andrew’s shoulders, swallowing a second after. Andrew revises; nothing about Neil is subtle these days, so he shouldn’t be this surprised. That smart, short-tempered mouth and looks which attract the whole crowd at Eden's.

And yet, Neil never gave a damn about anyone else.

Right then, the reminder cracks the walls around him.

Because they both think about this. They both want. Neil doesn't try to hide from him.

Nerves, excitement, and all the things Andrew cannot express are reflected back at him with how Neil leans back without thinking about it, stretching out.

When Andrew huffs the ghost of a laugh, his walls beginning to crumble, Neil's eyes brighten in interest.

This is ridiculous. It's so ridiculous, because Neil should be the farthest thing from sexy right then. He's in his armbands and one of Andrew's old ratty shirts, the one he's told Neil time and time again to throw away but to no avail. The loose threads and dulled color bring Andrew back to a time where Neil only wore old, thrifted clothes. Too big around the shoulders, neckline distorted, but Neil clings to it for comfort, not necessity. Not because he has nothing else or has to conserve his money.

'It's yours,' had been Neil's only explanation.

And can Andrew talk, with the chain around his neck?

Neil's wearing those heinous cargo shorts Matt bought him, with only one sock on his foot. The fool would dress like this everyday, with no sense of matching or cohesiveness, if Andrew didn't pick his damn outfits.

There's nothing like what's in the movies; nice suits, tailored clothes, lingerie...

It's the farthest thing from a fantasy. But this Neil, in all his mundanity, is nothing short of a wet dream to Andrew. The other end of a leash. The striker must notice the change, the darkening of Andrew's eyes, and the small whimper goes straight to Andrew's cock.

Oh yes, the only problem with Neil's clothes is the fact they're still on.

As he slams the door to the bedroom shut, it finally hits Andrew what they're about to try. Of course, they've talked about it, planned it, he's known for days. Regardless, the air around him feels like glass, making it hard to move but easy to break if he tries. This tension...it's terrible and exhilarating all at once.

Neil knows just how to push him to get him moving; he stops squirming long enough to spread his legs, leaving the perfect slot for Andrew to fit, and that's when the glass shatters.

There's a lot in his head as he stalks towards Neil, throwing off his jacket in the process. Roland's advice exchanged over texts, his own research, and countless conversations. And yet above it all is just Neil, Neil, Neil.

Andrew doesn't have time to linger on how he doesn't even hesitate to pull off his shirt, to be so exposed in front of someone without a second thought. His armbands stay; he’s not quite sure he can handle that along with what they’re about to do. Neil's sharp intake of breath at the sight of his abs, his biceps, is enough to override any of that.

Neil surges up to meet him.

Andrew's hands fly to Neil's shoulders as their lips meet, like a punch of desperation. Neil, as always pushes back against Andrew, as if to challenge him. Andrew is almost positive he does it on purpose, just so Andrew will show his strength. He pushes Neil back down onto the bed, and Neil’s excited gasp proves him right. The urge to corral all the limitless energy buzzing beneath Neil's skin is so strong Andrew doesn’t know what to do about it. He wants to expend it all, make Neil boneless and sated.

He growls and nips Neil's bottom lip, boxing him in without pressing down. Where to start? He wants to do it all.

'Don't rush into it,' Roland's voice says, and Andrew fights the urge to kick it to the curb, to force it away with such viciousness it astounds him. He doesn't want to think about anything else, just this, just Neil moaning yes for things Andrew hasn't asked yet. He just wants to have.

Neil's groan is way too filthy for just a kiss and is not helping to make his self-control any easier. Andrew coaxes Neil's tongue out slowly in response, bringing their pace down if only slightly. Slow, patient. He knows the bartender was right, he can't rush this. He needs Neil to be relaxed, feeling good...

Andrew’s brain starts to fill with all the reminders, the advice.

His brain unhelpfully states that he should be feeling that way too, should be turned on, but rigidness begins to creep into his veins anyways. No, no. He can’t fixate on that. He forces it to the back of his mind, but he knows his body language betrays him. He keeps Neil's hands pinned to the mattress with one of his own, unable to handle the touch, and he holds the strikers jaw with the other. He forgot how this feels, the need to keep Neil restrained. It's been so long...

He licks into Neil's mouth to distract him, teasingly, like he's mapping it out. He can't deny it feels so warm, burning, the whine he rips from Neil's throat for his actions. The sloppiest of kisses, just because he can, just because it makes Neil's hips twitch.

Yes, get worked up for me.

This is what needs to happen, but...

Next. Next, next--

The rustle of the condoms he laid out on the bed calls his attention, so does the new bottle next to them. Research...foreplay, slow, steady, now?

He gets lost in the kiss, but his actions lose their sense of purpose. Stalling. He pins Neil's tongue down, tries to draw out those delicious sounds so they drown out his erratic heartbeat, his thoughts.

"Andrew..."

The sound of Neil's voice is muffled, like it's underwater. Oh, this is definitely unfamiliar. Neil’s voice has never failed to be a lighthouse in the stormy bay.

He's not hard, he realizes. Andrew's not hard. Even with Neil nearly rutting against him, taken apart by just a kiss...he's...

The arousal surges only to be snuffed out by his own distraction each time, his own fixation on how he needs this to go down. Minimal damage.

But if it doesn't feel good...

It should, because it's Neil. With Neil, it's never supposed to be about a checklist.

It's just--

Andrew freezes when Neil's hands tremble beneath his, a weak, almost questioning attempt to pull free. He pulls back, staring down at Neil's eyes, already clouded and drowsy with how Andrew makes him feel.

Andrew pauses a moment, considering before he lets Neil free. Neil’s slow about it, sliding his hands out from under Andrew’s, feeling the calloused skin like it’s all he wants. Andrew lets him look his fill. The trust is no longer the issue.

And god, Neil is so damn nosy about everything. In how he tracks Andrew's face, searching again and finding...something. Neil turns his head into his shoulder, suppressing a grin.

Andrew nearly scowls. What are you smiling about?

If he's being honest, trying to get into Neil's head is one of the biggest challenges there is in his life, and it's self-created. He need only ask to receive, but Neil also doesn’t leave him waiting.

Neil's hands move purposefully, where Andrew can see and track them. They still just above Andrew's shoulders, and with a whispered ‘yes’ from Andrew’s lips, they slide down, rubbing tantalizing circles along his muscles.

He jolts from it, and Neil’s smile brightens.

Andrew’s one giant knot of tension; he hadn't even realized it, but then Neil starts undoing the chords. Andrew allows himself a slow exhale, and Neil swipes his tongue over the column of his throat. Andrew's cock twitches in interest for the first time, and Neil’s lips curve against his skin.

Someone with a penchant for starting fights should not have this calming effect.

One of Neil's hands comes to tangle in the silver chain around Andrew's neck, pulling him closer. Tease, a menace even.

Andrew is completely entranced.

Neil nips the underside of his chin before pulling back, not breaking eye contact as he hooks two fingers into his own waistband. Andrew's breathing stops, and Neil strips off his shorts and underwear in one alluring movement. Neil's not a master at seduction, he simply knows what gets under Andrew's skin.

Those damn legs.

“Hm?” Neil hums as his knee lightly brushes against Andrew's groin, pausing to apply pressure, and oh...Neil should not be so good at this.

It leaves Andrew feeling a little conflicted; where did Neil learn this?

Once, while wiping Andrew's cum from the corner of his lips, Neil had simply said 'My mind might not be the fastest learner, but the rest of me is.'

This whole thing applies. If Neil senses Andrew's nerves, he seldom comments on it, but he never hesitates to start trying to help.

'Help' even when it's him being a shit.

"Come here." Neil's words are not a soft encouragement, nor are they a command. It's like it's a fact, a prophecy, like there isn't another direction Andrew can possibly go. Andrew glares at him, thinks about defying him just because, but the rigidness from before is almost gone. There's a tightness in his abdomen, a heat. Arousal, not wariness.

Also, Neil is very naked from the waist down, and very willing.

So Andrew lets himself be led back up, standing at the side of the bed while Neil gets comfortable, situating his face right in front of Andrew's fly. He tries not to let his interest show too much, but he guesses he fails when Neil smirks up at him. With practiced movements, Neil makes sure Andrew gives him a ‘yes’ before hastily undoing his belt and pants, the hunger in his eyes nearly too much. He pulls Andrew's half-hard cock out, shoving his pants down enough to bite at the V of Andrew's hips.

Andrew grunts at the feeling of Neil's breath against him, the striker’s hand wrapping firmly around his cock and spitting on it to slick it up. Andrew's hand finds Neil's hair automatically, like he's used to doing when Neil goes to suck him off. Neil loves the encouragement, writhes from it.

When Neil hands him the bottle of lube, Andrew gets it.

The position, the request...

Andrew yanks at the underside of Neil's knee, spreading his legs and bringing him closer, the perfect angle for--

"Neil," Andrew warns as Neil starts to stroke him slow, paying way too close attention to how his cock begins to swell. Andrew's voice fills with the strain to keep down a groan.

Fast learner. Right.

With a hum, Neil guides Andrew's hand, the one holding the bottle, in between his thighs. The implication is clear, and Neil’s skin is still warm and flushed from when he probably cleaned himself.

Andrew digs his hand into Neil’s hair at the thought.

"We're sharing, remember?" Neil says, almost innocently, like he's not asking Andrew to finger him open for the first time while he drools all over his dick. Andrew won't mistake this for something else, he knows it's nothing short of consideration for him.

Andrew wants to snap that Neil doesn't need to do this, doesn't need to try and distract Andrew from the whirlwind in his head. He doesn't need help, to get him out of his weird fog so he can actually get it up--

Neil swipes his tongue over the head of Andrew's cock and his breathing stutters, cutting off all thought for a blissful second.

"I want to do this how we always do it," Neil says then, eyes dangerous as he watches precum bead on the tip, evidence of Andrew's desire. There’s a seriousness locked underneath his tone. "I want you to feel good."

How we always do it...

He isn’t wrong; there's an edge to Neil's statement, a reinforcement. This is still us. No expectations, no pressure, only...

Andrew sets the bottle down so he can squeeze the flesh of Neil's thigh, soaking in the gasp he gets for it. He tugs Neil's head up to kiss him, deep and promising, before letting him get back to what he's good at. Using his mouth.

Andrew swallows, forcing down the unnecessary noise. He rids himself of the unessentials, the countless hours of research and text conversations with Roland, clinging to what he needs and not what overwhelms. He brings himself back to the basics therapy taught him. Breathing, grounding himself.

That's all he can do. He of all people, should've known there's no exact formula for this.

It's still us.

Us.

And that...that is one of four truths. Another deep breath, and Andrew embraces their first attempt.

"Tell me if it hurts," Andrew says, demands as he massages Neil's knee, watching his cock leak all over the bed. His hand glides up, grazing Neil's balls and teasing the sensitive skin.

Neil nods, so needy, and flicks his tongue out again over Andrew's shaft. Neil always does this, and it's so annoying because Andrew can't help but be so smug about it. Neil will stroke Andrew's cock leisurely for a few seconds, watching it grow until it's heavy and thick in his hand.

Trembling, Andrew uncaps the bottle and smears some lube on his fingers, letting some drip onto Neil's inner thighs just because. "Junkie."

Neil doesn't apologize for making him wait. "I like watching," he says, almost hazy. "I like knowing I can get you this excited."

Andrew has Neil lift his leg, positioning him so he can rub his fingers over Neil's entrance. There's a moment where Neil tenses from the feeling, but then he's relaxed again, focused on Andrew.

He never stopped to think Neil attending to Andrew's needs would also help to relax him.

"I hate you," Andrew says, so resigned, and Neil's smile is smug as can be.

He gives a squeeze to the base of Andrew's cock, pressing the head to his cheek. "I think this means you like me."

Andrew burns the image into his head.

"There are better uses for your mouth," Andrew snaps, but Neil is already swallowing him whole, hollowing out his cheeks so his cock can sit heavy and warm in his mouth. Neil's eyes flutter shut, freezing in place for an agonizing second, and Andrew guesses he's not the only one who savors these things. He feels Neil swallow around him, and petulantly holds in his moan. Neil’s eyes flutter open to glare playfully before he’s moving, steady and easy, in retaliation. The feeling is enough to pull grunts out of Andrew, and he feels his stomach jump from the slide of Neil’s mouth, but not enough to make him come too fast.

Neil's hand rests against Andrew's stomach, feeling every twitch.

Andrew tugs Neil's shirt up as far as he can, the scars grounding him. He needs something else to focus on, not to get out of his own head this time, but just to stop himself from thrusting into Neil's mouth.

The idiot is already prone to making himself choke from his own enthusiasm, he doesn't need Andrew helping.

With that in mind, Andrew digs deep for the gentlest touch he can manage, and presses his finger into Neil. It's not something he's ever been good at, softness; he's a rock. Firm, rough, but something to keep Neil safe. His hands are deadly and harsh, but for this...

He tries.

His finger pushes inside slowly, thumb pressed against the underside of Neil's balls to give him some relief. He feels Neil jolt from the foreignness, but he doesn't push away. No grimace, no fear. Andrew wonders what it feels like...

A dark part of him whispers that he should know, but rationale sets in. No, he wouldn't. Not this, not something wanted and craved. Neil gasps with Andrew's cock still in his mouth, hand shaky where he strokes what his mouth can't reach. And Andrew...Andrew didn't think about this part.

Andrew isn't prepared, could've never been prepared for how warm Neil is. He sighs as he pushes in and out slowly, the slick sounds barely audible over the sounds from Neil's throat. Neil's messy when it comes to these things, and his fist is wet where it pumps Andrew. That, together with the loud swallows, is deafening.

And of course, Neil is so impatient. Andrew takes his sweet time for them both, since at this point he has to squeeze the base of his cock to keep from getting too close to the edge. The thought of his cock replacing his finger, squeezed so tight...

Neil's hips start to roll back, not familiar or sure of the touch, but more comfortable with it. And hellbent on provoking Andrew further, even if involuntarily.

He pushes Neil's damp bangs away from his hair, a silent warning to slow it down, and thankfully the striker does. He takes his mouth away, but keeps his hand stroking agonizingly slow. Andrew tears his gaze away from the line of spit connected to Neil’s mouth.

Can’t lose focus, but Neil’s always made that hard.

Andrew takes another deep breath before he pushes in another finger, and the pattern repeats. He waits for Neil's hips to start chasing the sensation, and then he stretches him, letting him feel the ghost of the real thing. He watches Neil's brow furrow, little whimpers starting to leave his mouth, unsure. They increase in volume as his hips thrust back a little more eagerly, legs trembling, choked gasps a little too close to Andrew’s name. The confusion in his eyes blends so brilliantly with the arousal.

For a moment, Andrew wonders if Neil is uncomfortable, but then the puzzle pieces line up. It doesn't take Andrew long to realize what it is. Neil feels good, likes this, and that it hasn't quite sunk in for him that he does.

Oh Neil, a fast learner huh?

Something primal stirs in Andrew's chest at knowing Neil loves being fingered open, legs spread and thighs sticky. This just means Andrew can take him apart this way now, can learn how to do it best so Neil’s eyes roll back. They won't always need to go all the way, he can do this simply because Neil will come completely undone from it. Fingering Neil against a wall, stretching him until he comes...

He maybe jumps ahead too fast. Andrew adds another digit quickly, roughly, and Neil yelps. The sound quickly dissolves into a whine and a shiver, and Andrew freezes.

As if he can't believe the feeling, Neil presses his hand against his own abdomen, feeling it jump.

"O-Oh," Neil hiccups, and Andrew refuses to move. He hates it, but despite his consideration for Neil, his mind is fogged because...

Shit, Neil feels so tight.

"Okay?" Andrew asks, and when did his voice get so low? It's throaty, drenched in barely held restraint, and Neil shivers from it.

"Y-yeah," Neil says with a nod and a ghost of a laugh. Stupid, so stupid-- "It's different but..."

Neil blinks, lost, staring at some faraway place Andrew can't reach.

Neil cannot leave him hanging like this right now. Not when Andrew is two seconds away from putting an end to it.

"Neil."

The harshness makes the striker groan, hiding his face in a rare show of embarrassment. "I'm okay. Just...your fingers...fuck Andrew, you're going to be inside me."

Andrew leans down and kisses him hard; he just needs it, needs to communicate some of the tumultuousness going on inside of him. It never gets easier, having his feelings mirrored so easily. How the hell does Neil know how he feels without realizing?

His fantasies, his desires…

Shared.

Neil, never knowing when he shut up, whispers into the kiss. "It feels so good..."

The excitement shows; Neil's legs try to lift where Andrew is keeping them apart. Briefly, he imagines smearing his come over Neil's thighs, since the striker tends to rub them together when he's excited, like he's trying to do now.

Andrew gives Neil something then, his noises, the groans he normally keeps back, if only to make Neil keen. He always did like making Andrew lose control.

"Feel good?" Andrew says, almost mocking, and decides to finally pull something else from the necessary information he kept at the front of his mind.

He hooks his fingers inside Neil, searching for the angle until--

"Holy fuck," Neil yells, with no regard for anyone who might be through the walls. That's alright; the mouthiness was never a turn off. Neil gives a full body spasm, shock and disbelief at war on his face. His jaw hangs open, and Neil brings his hand up to press the back of it to his mouth.

So reactive.

Andrew nearly smirks as he leans in; well, that wasn't so hard to find.

"Feel that?" He asks, watching Neil fist the sheets with his other hand.

The striker swallows, panting hard. "W-what--"

"Now, now," Andrew sighs, not covering up his amusement very well. "Pay attention this time."

He presses his fingers into the spot again, and Neil's back arches beautifully. Runners...Andrew guesses they're not so bad.

"Fuck--fuck yes," Neil cries out, chest heaving. It almost compels him to do it again, but with Neil so on edge, this will end before they can even try to go further. The desperation in Neil's eyes, the satisfaction, is enough to soothe some of the anxiety in the pit of Andrew's stomach.

"Do it again," Neil demands, nearly pleads, trying to roll his hips to do it himself.

It takes all of Andrew’s self-control to not obey, which is terrifying. No one tells Andrew what to do, he hates to give in, but with Neil like this it's like a siren song.

Yet, he manages. "No."

He squeezes the base of his cock again, still leaking from Neil's earlier attention.

If I watch you react like that I'll come.

As if realizing the same thing, Neil petulantly leans forward to tongue at Andrew's cock, and Andrew pulls him back by the hair.

Neil, the idiot, pushes against the hold teasingly, riling them both up.

“Antsy,” Andrew scoffs, as if part of him doesn’t burn because of it.

Andrew uses the distraction to scissor his fingers one last time inside Neil, careful to avoid his prostate. Neil winces at the stretch and Andrew waits, lets Neil adjust, and between the sounds of their heaving breaths he allows himself to give some more.

"So warm," he sighs, actually sighs, and Neil’s answering groan is too debauched, his cock twitching from the praise. Andrew files that away for later.

He’s been filing a lot of things away for later, good things.

"Yeah?" Neil challenges, because it's what he does. "Then c'mon."

And right now...a 'no' would be a lie. Andrew pulls his fingers out, and joins Neil on the bed with shaky limbs, grabbing Neil's hips to turn him over so his ass is in the air.

It's the first time Neil resists him. The striker fights the manhandling, keeping his eyes on Andrew's face. "Andrew, I want--"

"Neil--"

"But--"

"It'll hurt less this way," Andrew says, with hardly any room for argument. It would make it easier, that's what Roland said, and Andrew made sure not to lose that in the minefield of information he took in. "It'll be more comfortable for you."

Neil stares at him for a good long minute, as if that'll do anything. He's familiar enough with Andrew's tones to know there's not really room for argument here. Andrew's about to say they don't have to if Neil doesn't want to, but then Neil sighs.

"Okay," he says, nodding. "I want to see your face next time though."

The promise of next time is too much to think about right then, made worse by Neil's next request. "Kiss me?"

Like of all things, that's too much to ask. Like Andrew doesn't seal everything between them with a kiss and a firm touch. Andrew leans forward, surprisingly slow, and catches Neil's lips softly. Steadying, deep, while he grabs a handful of Neil’s ass.

Neil shivers when he pulls away, turning around and pressing his head into the mattress. He's a sight, one Andrew will never let anyone else see. Before he was comfortable enough to be this open with Neil, Andrew would never let himself admire, labeling the urge as a waste of time. Now, Andrew runs his hand over the slope of Neil's ass, thumbing the ghosts of scars and faded burns. All he sees is strong legs, and Neil's leaking cock hanging between them.

All for Andrew, only for Andrew.

With shaking fingertips Andrew coats himself in a little too much lube before lining himself up, pressing his forehead against Neil's spine.

This is it, now, next, this moment--

The dark cloud, the one which sits in the back of his head, kept mostly at bay this whole time, creeps forward...

Andrew doesn't sense it, can't think. His mind is a vault locked beneath an ocean, and he never knows how far the tide will come up to trap him further.

"I'm going to push in," he breathes into Neil's skin, as if Neil can't feel the head of his cock rubbing against his entrance, promising. Then, in a moment of remarkable rawness, Andrew doesn’t hold back what he’s thinking. "I'm going to feel all of you."

It should feel like a release, cathartic. Andrew should’ve known to pause right then, because it doesn’t. It sounds an awful lot like he's trying to convince one of them. Neil moans, doesn’t sense it, and spreads his legs further.

Andrew can't see his face but--

His vision sways, and he realizes he didn't get a verbal yes, nevermind that he doesn't always need them anymore.

He leans back, he can see the body in front of him, the headboard. He pushes the tip of his cock inside, and the heat is overwhelming, squeezing him so hard he winces.

So tight, it can't possibly feel good for Neil, it's like he's forcing his way inside and--

He sees hands fly up to scrape at the headboard, and imagines they're held there, unable to move, unable to break away, to get free.

He can't hear Neil's voice, can't see his face, can't tell.

Andrew's entire body goes rigid, and the choked noise which escapes him disgusts him beyond all belief. He moves away like he's been struck, violent and cornered on the other side of the bed.

No. No, no, no.

Neil moves into action surprisingly fast, but doesn't try to follow Andrew. He knows better. As soon as Andrew sees the ring of blue, he feels slightly better, but still far too exposed. Neil yanks the nearest blanket over Andrew, covering him before pulling down his shirt and wrapping the sheet around his waist.

Andrew wonders if that's a good thing for his mind right then. He needs to see. He searches Neil for injuries, bores his gaze into him until he finds evidence of pain or distrust. He needs to look closer, to make sure, but if he touches Neil he'll make it worse.

He’ll make all this worse.

Yet, there’s nothing on Neil but the marks of the past, not all of them bad. Andrew eyes where the faded hickies meet crisscrossing scars. He keeps staring, navigating from afar, and finds nothing of what he's expecting. There's only concern in Neil's gaze, and an adamance which keeps Andrew focused on the present.

Neil’s feet dig into the bed, keeping himself in check even though Andrew knows he’d rather be looking Andrew over too.

"Andrew," Neil says, a little loud, because he knows if Andrew is somewhere other than the present he often needs to be jolted back to reality. "Andrew it's me."

But well, Neil would be wrong.

That's the problem. It's you.

It was Neil, underneath him, it was Neil who filled the role of someone so vulnerable.

Andrew takes a slow gulp of air, and he doesn't try to soften his words. There's no way to, right then.

"I know," Andrew says, unbelievably loud in the space. Cold. And oh, he does not like this at all. The slow realization, the understanding of what happened.

Neil's chest is still heaving, and Andrew's mind begins to clear. Neil looks the farthest from scared, he was feeling good, the haze in his eyes very much there. Craving, waiting for Andrew to give him something he ultimately could not.

And isn't that rich?

Andrew, despite knowing there would most likely be setbacks, who should've seen this coming, doesn't know what to do with this. Disappointment is an old emotion he has not felt in so long, ugly and worse than any good or anxious feeling he's begun to experience more.

It's full body, and makes him want to rip his hair out. They’d been so close.

He's aware he has nothing to feel guilty for, or upset by. Calling this a mess-up is not accurate, and it would be idiotic to do so. And yet, he...

Neil’s breathing stutters when Andrew looks away from him, like he misses it already.

Andrew does too, and he’s got no fight in him left to pick that apart. He just gives in and slides his gaze back to his boyfriend, the word coming easy to him for once.

Neil opens his mouth then closes it, thinking better of it. The coldness in Andrew's eyes is directed inward, wholly at himself. But Neil sees it all, the anger and frustration, and knows it's not time for this discussion. Even when it's clear he's in the dark, doesn't know what caused it, can't get past the wall blocking Andrew's mind, he knows when a boundary needs to be enforced.

They'll talk, soon, but Andrew can't now.

He hates that he can't, that's it's not his fault he can't.

Robbed of control, always.

He fists his hands in the blankets, stretching the fabric, as if he can mimic the feeling anyways. Neil's back hits the headboard softly, letting the quiet settle between them and makes no move to break it. Those bright blue eyes drift between Andrew and the bathroom door, as if debating on leaving, giving Andrew space. There’s not an ounce of disappointment on Neil’s face.

And shit, the itch to leave is rampant. He knows Neil wouldn't mind, but Andrew does. He doesn't want to leave Neil like this, not after something so intense for them both, so new, but he needs to be alone in his own head. That's out of his control too.

But some things have changed, some things he still has the strength to challenge.

He turns towards the wall, where he can focus on the cracks and faded wallpaper instead of Neil's warm body and concern, and lies down rigidly. This isn't tension Neil will be able to rid him of, but it's okay. Andrew doesn't expect him to.

Instead, he puts his back to Neil, a small acquiescence, a show of trust. Andrew never sleeps with his face to the wall.

Andrew hopes Neil takes the gesture as 'stay, be here.'

Andrew will only be able to do this if Neil brackets him off, closed to the world.

There's a long pause of debate while Neil tenses, and Andrew closes his eyes. He’s exhausted suddenly. He wouldn't be offended if Neil left, he tells himself, but his pulse spikes in relief when he feels the mattress shift with Neil's weight as he lies down, leaving space between them.

Traitorous heart.

And through all the slog in his head, Andrew can't help but think the gaze on the back of his neck is the closest thing to comfort.

Later that night, Andrew breathes in smoke on the rooftop. He comes here more for tradition now than anything; the fear of falling is still there, but he doesn't need it to jumpstart his emotions like he used to.

There are easier ways to do it now, and he hears a foolproof method open the door behind him. Andrew doesn't flinch when Neil walks up, his head mostly cleared of its earlier fog, leaving behind annoyance and frustration.

He didn't give permission for those to remain either, but here they are. He knows it's mostly resolved, if he can call it that, because the sight of Neil makes his chest feel warm instead of worried.

It’s also unsettling, but not something he's actively trying to be rid of. Warmth, comfort. He’s too tired to lash out. Andrew quirks a brow as Neil stands there, messing with the edge of his sleeves.

Andrew's jacket.

It's then Andrew realizes the one he's wearing must be Neil's, grabbed without a second thought after it was his turn to shower. Routine; Andrew can’t remember the last time he wore his own jacket, except for when Neil asked him to.

So it would smell like him again.

With a sigh, Andrew flicks his cigarette off the side of the building, not watching it fall to its demise. Neil is much more interesting.

The striker takes a hesitant step forward, a silent question, and Andrew can’t stand him.

"Come here," Andrew mimics, a callback to earlier, and the relief on Neil's face is almost annoying. The grin which breaks out on his face is a wave, threatening to drown Andrew as Neil plops down at his side. He leaves a bit of distance, just in case, but Andrew closes it until Neil is flush against him.

It has an instantaneous result; the rest of the tension in both their bodies floods out, and Andrew thinks with some bemusement if Neil were a cat, he'd be purring.

This is familiar, but Andrew has no place for regret in regards to the new things that happened earlier. He thinks it through slowly again, for the tenth time that day, carving around the ugliness. He'd felt good, before it happened. Exhilarating, on fire. Neil, coming apart beneath him. Those are not things he'd ever take back. Neil bites his lip, and Andrew really wishes he'd stop, since it's starting to trigger a Pavlovian response. "We...don't have to talk about it," Neil says, unsure of himself.

Again, he's mistaken.

"Yes we do," Andrew mutters, because it's not what he'd like to do per say, but...

They're sharing, he figures this is kind of part of it. Talking about these things is a little easier, if not akin to pulling teeth. It was like that before too...but now, it's like he's finally being allowed anesthesia.

Neil sighs, like he knew it all along, and nods with a sheepish smile. He keeps shifting too much, torn between wanting to soak up all of Andrew's warmth and see his face at the same time.

"What happened?" Neil asks, never one to beat around the bush once the direction is clear.

Andrew's finger drums on his knee, wishing he hadn't thrown out his cigarette. How to say it...he doesn't have the patience or care to tailor it. "Seeing you like that, for a moment I thought I was hurting you."

That's the basics of it, he thinks. The memories had blurred together, conjuring up the past instead of forcing Andrew back into it. Neil in his place, hands on a headboard, trying to get away...

Neil hums beside him, considering it. Andrew notes how he doesn't refute the reason, doesn't try to remind Andrew that he specifically told the blond to not worry about hurting him. Things are seldom so simple, and the war torn canvas of Andrew's mind can't always be wiped clean with a single statement.

"Because of the position?" Neil asks a beat later, tilting his head, and Andrew suppresses his anger. So much for that position being best, of course it would come back to bite him.

"I couldn't see your face, couldn't tell," Andrew agrees without actually doing so. "I just saw your hands scrape the bed frame."

It had been enough. Nothing more to it.

Neil nods, breathing deep. Like he’s soaking up Andrew’s presence. Once, Andrew snapped at him to stop, like if he did it too much Andrew would wither into nothing. Now, it just offers infuriating stability.

"I would've told you as soon as something was off," Neil states, and it's reassurance, not exasperation or something condescending. In fact, Neil almost looks guilty. "I should've kn--"

Andrew's head whips to face him, tone harsh, so Neil doesn't finish the thought. "No, you couldn't have known. I didn't even know. Stop it."

It's not your fault.

Trial and error, they know the position doesn't work now, at least not at the moment. That's all there is to it, no point in lingering.

Andrew feels it so strongly it threatens to break him in two. If Neil doesn't get that idea out of his head, Andrew might just kill him for real.

Neil's protests die, which is a feat only Andrew has mastered. Making Neil shut up is not straightforward. The striker kicks his legs out in front of him, tapping the edges of his shoes together.

It's not cute.

"Mm," Neil hums, nodding. "We'll just have to try again then, if you want to..."

The smile fades for a moment, and Neil's shoulders tense, fearing he's jumped the gun too soon. Neil has such an idiotic way of putting things, blunt and now without the lies, it makes relief battle with frustration inside Andrew. Of course Neil would worry about this, that Andrew wouldn't want him.

After all that, as if it's even possible for Andrew to not want Neil.

"Don't ask stupid questions," he grits out predictably, overcome with the gravity of this, of how talking to Neil can feel like a warm mug of hot chocolate on a bad night.

Neil's smirk is small, not as powerful as usual, but still there enough to set Andrew on edge. "You want me then?"

Andrew can't do this. If he had the energy to roll his eyes, he would.

He leans back, staring up at the starless sky, a black void. He imagines the lights of Eden's flashing while the heavy bass bounces off the walls. "Every inch of you."

In a random act of therapy application, he brings the past up on purpose, if only to see the way Neil's eyes widen.

There, maybe that'll shut you up.

It's wishful thinking.

"Andrew..." Neil whispers, following him to the dusty floor. Neil's eyes are brighter in the dark, Andrew thinks; it's like they glow.

It pulls the last of his thoughts out of him.

"I don't know how many times I'll get it wrong," Andrew says, surprising even himself. Already, the words feel like vomit, leaving a bad aftertaste. It was a bad way to phrase it, even he knows, but he has to make Neil aware.

This could happen again.

He remembers Neil's excitement, the yearning, the abrupt cutoff of all of it.

Neil is entirely unfazed by the gloom, swatting away the veil over Andrew's mind.

Literally. Neil brings his hand up in front of Andrew’s face, waving.

Andrew really can’t do this.

"And?" Neil asks, blinking stupidly. He looks almost...amused. "Andrew there's no three strikes policy, we can try as many times as we need to."

Do not use sports references when it comes to our sex life.

Andrew shoves him, and the tightness in his chest fades away with the normalcy of it all. Neil doesn't mind, doesn't care. Andrew should've seen that coming too. "Was that a vague baseball reference? From you?"

Neil grimaces, offended. The scars under his eyes scrunch up, and Andrew digs his thumb into one.

"Shut up," Neil grumbles, burying his forehead in Andrew's shoulder.

"I'll tell Kevin you betrayed him."

Neil snorts. "I don't think he'll appreciate the context."

No, he most certainly would not. Like Andrew cares.

He scoffs, but soaks in the feeling of their usual banter, of the weight of the day bleeding out from them both.

And then Neil, in all his devastation, has to hit Andrew one more time.

"There's no getting it wrong," the striker says a moment later, head popping back up so his chin is resting on Andrew. His hair is a goddamn mess. "It always feels good, when we lose control."

Andrew doesn't refute the always for that statement.

His breathing catches, his fingers tangling in the mess of Neil's hair, and kisses him.

He lets his mind flood with the better images, of fingering Neil open, Neil's mouth on him, the moans, the touch...

"Next time," he breathes against Neil's cheek, letting his lips feel the roughness of his scars.

Neil nods, chasing Andrew's lips like he's insatiable. He is. Andrew slows him with a hand to the chest, licking into Neil's mouth teasingly. "Did it feel good?"

He wants to hear it again, he needs to know, to reinforce it.

Neil laughs into the kiss. "It felt incredible, fuck...your hands Andrew," he breathes, letting his own be guided up to Andrew's hair. With the permission clear, he tugs on the loose hairs of Andrew's nape, massaging.

And there's no rush in this, they won't be taking it any further, but they don't need to.

Yes, yes, it all must be one big dream, this life he lives with Neil. But instead of pushing it away before it can end, Andrew has decided to indulge as long as he can.

"Tell me," he says into the skin of Neil's neck, doing what he didn't have the time to before. Marking, savoring.

Neil laughs breathily, and has the audacity to point at the next spot on his neck, tapping it in a silent request for Andrew to plant one on him.

Fine then.

"It's like you're so confident," Neil rambles, unashamed as always. Andrew rolls them over so he's on top of Neil, not for the security, but just because he knows Neil likes to feel cocooned, safe. He gets to work on the spot, swirling his tongue against it. "Like taking me apart is your only goal. I was thinking if that felt so good...how would your cock feel--"

Andrew bites down hard, and Neil yelps.

Well, someone walking by definitely heard that.

Neil is right though; it is Andrew's only goal, ripping sounds out of Neil's throat and bringing him to his knees. He likes when Neil thrashes, wants more, pleads without words.

"I'd slide right in," Andrew states, like one of his facts, a promise. It makes his own head spin. He knows he would, when he can, it'll be..."When I do fuck you, I'm going to make sure it's all you can think about."

That way, they'll be in the same boat.

The smile Neil gives him is mischievous and way too proud. "Already there," he gloats, rubbing at the sore spot on his neck. He looks far too pleased about the growing bruise. "What about you?"

Andrew's about to go for the other side of Neil's neck when the question halts him. He lifts his head back up, gaze questioning.

Neil's eyes get impossibly brighter. "What felt good Andrew?"

And in an instant, Andrew understands. Neil's eyes are lidded, staring up at him expectantly. There can be no dwelling on what went wrong, only what went right.

Neil invites him to write over the past.

Andrew leans down, closes his eyes, and his forehead meets Neil's. He hopes no one ever sees them like this, it's all Andrew's, all of it.

"You took me so easy," Andrew says, and Neil tenses on instinct, as if remembering it too. Oh yes, Andrew intends to explore that, thoroughly. "You were so damn loud."

Neil doesn't point out how he's usually loud, and therefore Andrew is confessing to having a thing for his voice. They can both infer enough to see through it.

So instead, Neil leans up to slot their lips together firmly, the promise of 'next time' searing the deal into place. "Bet you I can be louder."

And Neil, with all his infuriating seduction, is a challenge Andrew can never back down from.

#andreil #aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten

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luci-cunt · 4 years

Note

👀👀 I am sending this again very specifically because I want to see Neil throw flowerpots at Andrew sorry not sorry

k;asd XDD

Ask and ye shall receive:

(btw in this au Neil and his mother were mechanics for the Moriyama’s who use robots that look like them called “Avatars” to cause mayhem in the “Wasteland” which is just the U.S post-nuclear destruction. The U.S keeps telling the public no one survived the fallout, except people in the middle of the U.S did and are now basically the NPC’s in Westworld. Rn Neil’s stuck in a tower in the Wastelands doing matinence for the Moriyama Avatars, except Riko’s the only one anymore. idk if that makes sense, if it doesn’t just enjoy pot throwing XD) Also I just dumped the whole segment in here, it’s like 1k so watch out XD.

_____

Two days after Riko’s visit Nathaniel was running on the treadmill when he heard voices.

He ignored them at first, since curious scavengers and survivors weren’t uncommon. Usually they’d pick their way around the building until they realized there was no way to get in or spot the MORIYAMA PROPERTY sign.

But then Nathaniel heard the electronic whine of a saw starting up, and he jumped off his treadmill, grabbing for a weapon–a heavy wrench–and carefully made his way towards the sound.

It was coming from his kitchen, on the wall behind it, and while it was muffled Neil strained to listen to what they were saying. The saw cut off sharply, and then started again, before turning off, like whoever was using it didn’t know how to use a button.

“…know how to use that?” one voice said, Neil thought he heard a scoff.

“Of course I do, I’m not an idiot,” a second voice said. The first voice sounded feminine, while the second was male, and oddly familiar. “For the record–” the second voice said, starting the saw back up, “–I think this is a terrible idea.”

And then Nathaniel heard the saw pierce through the metal of his walls.

He froze, listening as the saw cut a hole in his prison. No one had ever broken in before, no one had the guts to. So whoever these people were, they were either stupid or powerful. Nathaniel wasn’t sure which he preferred.

Suddenly there was a loud clatter and a curse, Nathaniel jumped at the noise.

“We’re breaking in through the fridge?” the first voice said incredulously, and Nathaniel blinked at his fridge door.

“It used to be an exit, they just put a fridge in where the door was, so it’s the weakest point,” the second voice explained impatiently.

Nathaniel heard the clattering of them removing all his food and shelves and dumping it next to the building so they could enter, and in a moment of panic he braced himself against the door to stop them.

“After you sir,” the first voice said mockingly. “Oh, right, or after you, ass,” she added, sounding bitter.

Three people?

Nathaniel felt someone push on the door.

“Come on Monster, open it up,” the woman said, and the ‘Monster’ pushed again, Neil pressed himself against the door harder. “Is it locked?”

“It shouldn’t be,” the man said.

“Then why is it not opening?” a third voice said, this one closest to Nathaniel.

“I don’t know! It should just open, it’s a fridge,” the man said, “Just–push harder, maybe there’s something in the way,” he added.

“Or you could use that handy little saw we brought,” the Monster said dryly. Nathaniel’s heart started pounding. Fuck.

“Oh right, yeah, I’ll do that,” the man said, his voice coming closer as Nathaniel hear the saw start up. He bolted before it even touched the door though, and the fridge crashed open, spilling three people into his tower. They all cursed and one of them fumbled to turn off a saw, but Nathaniel barely looked at them, too busy bolting for the ladder to the second floor. He got about five steps before he heard someone on his tail, and he pressed himself to go faster, jumping for the ladder. Right as he started to climb through the hole someone grabbed Nathaniel’s ankle, yanking him back downstairs. His arms hit the second storey floor, knocking the breath out of him and he scrambled to hold on to something, kicking at whoever was holding him.

His foot finally caught something, and the hand disappeared with a curse, Nathaniel clawed his way up and nearly collapsed as he put pressure on his ankle. He hissed, and quickly looked around for some kind of cover to block the open entrance. There was nothing besides plants though, and when Nathaniel looked back he saw a blond head poking its way up from the top of the ladder. On instinct he threw his wrench at the man, who barely managed to dodge it. Nathaniel scrambled up and dragged himself into the back of the room and grabbed a potted plant, when the man’s head popped up again he threw the plant and heard it crash to the floor.

“Hey what’s–fuck!” the woman’s voice called, interrupted by Nathaniel throwing another pot down. The blond head appeared again, but this time when Nathaniel threw the pot a hand darted up, batting the plant aside so it smashed on the ground next to the opening.

Panic filled Nathaniel’s body and he just grabbed a pot again to throw, but before he could the man was across the room, he snatched the pot away from Nathaniel and smashed it on the floor.

“How about you stop that?” he said, voice dripping with barely contained anger. Nathaniel gulped, but managed a scowl.

“Fuck you,” he hissed, punching the man’s chest. It wasn’t a very good punch, but it seemed to shock the man enough for Nathaniel to be able to bolt around him, all but diving for the door. He didn’t make it very far though, because the man just grabbed the back of Nathaniel’s shirt and slammed him back against the wall. Nathaniel wheezed, his vision swimming as his head bounced against the wall behind him.

“Who are you?” the man asked, his voice sounding echoey.

“Concussed,” Nathaniel said, trying to blink away the silvery splotches dotting his view. The man was short, surprisingly short, leaving Nathaniel only a few inches taller. He had short hair and hazel eyes that burned where they were boring into Neil. He was wearing all black, with a pair of armbands around his forearms.

“I said who smartass,” the man said, and suddenly Nathaniel felt a knife pressed to his throat, he almost laughed, but before he could answer the other two members of the mans group caught up to them and were standing behind the man.

“Christ–Andrew who the hell is that?” the woman asked, she had dark skin and hair about as short as the man’s, but it was curlier. Her face was wrinkled in confusion and she was holding a massive looking machete.

“Nathaniel?” Nathaniel’s head snapped over to where he suddenly spotted Kevin Day, standing behind the woman. His face looked pale, the 2 tattooed on his cheek stark against the white skin and green eyes wide in fear.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Nathaniel snarled, he couldn’t help it. Bitterness filled him, clashing with the panic.

“I–” Kevin started, but he was interrupted.

“Kevin who is this?” the man holding Nathaniel asked, Nathaniel turned his scowl back on that man.

“It’s–it’s–Nathaniel, he helped me–” Kevin paused, his eyes glazing slightly as he probably relived the memory, “He helped me escape, I thought you–” Kevin stammered, Nathaniel laughed.

“What? Thought I escaped too? Died? What did you think Kevin?” he snapped, Kevin flinched at his words.

“I’m sorry I–”

“Shut up,” Nathaniel and the man with the knife said at the same time. Then they glared at each other for it. The man pressed the knife harder to Nathaniel’s neck, and Nathaniel had to force himself not to gulp.

“Tell me who you are, and what you’re doing with the Moriyama’s,” the man demanded, and Nathaniel smiled at him.

“Why do you want to know? If you know this is Moriyama property then you’re all either idiots, or powerful enough to know what I do,” Nathaniel said, it made the man’s eyes narrow on him. Either these were a bunch of scavengers looking to cash in on what they probably thought was some kind of storehouse, or they were powerful enough to know about Avatars are and were looking to get their hands on the tech.

“Andrew you shouldn’t–” Kevin tried, but Andrew–apparently–didn’t listen to him.

“Here’s what I think, Nathaniel, I think you’re an Avatar mechanic for the Moriyamas, I also think you must be pretty important since they kept you around even though you helped out Kevin,” Andrew said. So then a bit of both. Neil glared at Kevin over his shoulder.

“You told them?” he hissed, Kevin flinched.

There was only one law that was actually enforced for Avatars, and that was no Wastelanders could know about Avatars. Hence the fake blood in the skin and Nathaniel faking Riko’s wound. If Wastelanders figured out about the Avatars, it would ruin their simulation, and then the corporation who’d made them would get less money. So anyone who let the secret spill was immediately banned from using an Avatar.

Kevin–while immune from being punished himself, since he wasn’t in an Avatar and didn’t want to use them–was Moriyama responsibility, so by him spilling the secret, it could get the Moriyama’s in hot water, which wouldn’t be good for anyone.

“I had to, Riko was coming after them because of me, they needed to know.”

“Hey, we were talking,” Andrew said suddenly, reminding Nathaniel of the knife at his throat.

“What do you want?” Nathaniel hissed, Andrew shrugged.

“Usually? Nothing, now? To piss Riko off,” he said, Nathaniel’s stomach knotted itself as he started connecting the dots.

“So go tell him his hair’s parted weird,” Nathaniel said, hoping Andrew wasn’t thinking the same thing he was. Though, from the cold smile spreading across his face, Nathaniel didn’t feel so lucky.

“Or, we could steal his favorite mechanic.”

Shit.

#fic #snippet #lmaooo #the very next line of this is literally #'Three hours into Nathaniel’s new captivity and he’d already been threatened with a gag four times.'#I really liked this au but my plans for it are a lil crazy #like I have the gonzo nutballs plot #It would be a monster to write #one day I might #but for now this little snip of the first chapter is all that shall see the light of day XDD #lmaoooo idk ask me and I'll ramble about plot ideas I had #Oh and if you're confused it's Kevin Andrew and Dan that break into Neil's tower #that's another thing #he's in an old observatory and the top floor got turned into a sunroom so he keeps a bunch of plants up there #also also #Kevin used to go with Riko into the Wasteland until he got a conscience and realized they were doing really bad shit #then he started warning the Wastelanders that he and Riko were coming ahead of time #Riko found out #broke his hand #and Nathaniel helped him escape by trapping Riko in his Avatar while Kevin ran in the real world #that sucked tho cuase once Riko realized it was Nathaniel keeping him stuck it was not great for Neil #also in this Jean is another mechanic #but he lives out of the wasteland #k I'm done rambling #thank you puddle <333 you're wonderful and amazing #luci doesn't shut up

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dinoalexander · 4 years

Text

Your Moment of Zen: The Gourmet Academy’s Semi-Quotable 2019 Quotedown Quotetacular

Ladies and gentlemen and non-binary conforming life forms across seven star systems... the Gourmet Academy’s World Famous Get Down Like a Hound Party ‘til You Puke Semi-Quotable 2019 Quotedown Quotetacular... is ON! === “Time to play everybody’s favorite game show, Fireworks or Gunshots?” -BFG

“Goddamnit. I have to be the adult, don’t I?” -Gordon

“You can copy the format, you can copy the look, but you can’t copy culture!” -UBA

“Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this craziness.” -Kimberly

“Starting a petition to have Barbara Walters do the ball drop next New Years just to hear her say, ‘I’m Barbara Walters and this is 2020.’” -Chelsea

“Hello, Antonio Brown's Shiny Helmet Emporium, how can I help you? What's your pleasure?” -Carl

“Watch me whip out my Shenehneh.” -Gordon

“I feel like I’m watching one of my movies, because this whole damn thing sucks.” -John Cena

“I giggled.” -Michael

“I’m not saying BH90210 is the worst thing in the history of all recorded media, but if somebody had the theory that Luke Perry faked his own death to avoid any and all association with it, I would be willing to entertain that theory.” -Kevin

“Any day the key card works is a win.” -Joe Ovies

“She played a fiddle in an Irish band...” -Ed Sheeran “No she didn’t.” (Click) -Chico

“CBS was callin’, I’m Black Monty Hallin’.” -Wayne Brady

“Richard Quest on CNN! He's gonna ask the rest of the 500 questions!” -Klaussie

“Work. What is this work bullshit?” -Gordon

“Verizon and Tegna, when the carriage agreement ended.” -MD

“I got my words! I got my friends! I got my words WITH my friends!” -Megan

“Thoughts and prayers to the Love Boat, who had her on so frequently her name probably appeared higher up on the call sheet than Isaac or Doc.” -Kevin

“Another fine product from Assmung.” -Carl

“Remember how I thought Adam Gase was a total piece of crap? I have been proven right. Fuck Adam Gase and the horse that rode in on him.” -Cyndi

“Walls? Where we’re going, we don’t need walls.” -Laura

“I’m a person who wants to be productive trapped inside a person who wants to sleep all day.” -Cortney

“Tommy Chong is a THC-list celebrity.” -JB

“Hey did you know that Francesa met Secretariat?” -Greg

“In a year when Black Panther told a story of a black superhero in a futuristic world struggling with real questions about how to deal with racial oppression, and BlacKkKlansman told a story of racial wounds in America that continue to this day and the need for allies to put themselves on the line, Best Picture went to Green Book, the story of a brilliant black musician as told through the white guy who drove him around. Okay.” -Kristin

“Advice: avoid sugar, Oregon Trail diseases, & women named in Mambo No. 5.” -Austin

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but so will my poor eating habits and bad decisions.” -Sarah Pribis

“She was prepared to kill a cockroach with a baseball bat.” -me on overzealous providers

“I am the crocodonkey.” -Klauss

“Aaaaaand we just lost Quisla.” -C

“Can Scaramucci last longer than a Scaramucci?” -...I don’t know, somebody.

“I want dysentery! ... wait what?” -Kyle

“My boobs are not real.” -Gordon

“I want to stop this show and take 10% of you outside, right now!" -Chris Harrison

“OMG Parallel Universe me, stop it!” -C

“I figured out who should host the Oscars ... Colin Kaepernick! Dude still needs a job, right? Also, he’s like two or three times the size of Kevin Hart. I bet we could pay him the same amount, so it’s like getting a bargain! Of course, I’ll want a modest consulting fee from the Academy. Problem solved. You’re welcome.” -Clint

“How the hell am I supposed to put this thing together? Are there instructions or am I just supposed to wing it?” -C “Even IKEA gives me instructions in a foreign language and a tiny ass tool.” -Q

"The only place you see Success before Work is in the Dictionary: -Mauro Ranallo NXT Takeover Phoenix

“A bold statement from a guy dressed as a hippo on a talent show.” -Klauss

“If you wanted the chicken fingers that badly, you could have asked for one instead of taking the whole plate of food.” -Gordon

“Time to play “Sexy or Sleepy”?” -C

“... that means ‘Eff you, you, you, and you’.” -Jason “That’s my autobiography right there.” -Gordon

“The magic thing about home is it feels good to leave but it feels better to come back.” -Emily “Home is a bit like that.” -C

“Thoughts and prayers to Ryan Stiles, who has lost his go-to celebrity impression.” -BB

“Hey, the Lord works in mysterious ways, but you don’t have to, USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL, ASSHOLE!” -Q

“What, you think people do coke once?” -Greg

“I can read off a TelePrompTer like a motherfucker.” -Kristen Bell

“‘Thank God we will be able to see more Pat Buchanan on TV’ said no one ever. I mean, for fuck’s sake, the last thing that is needed is another show featuring a panel of bloviating pundits. I get it. It’s cheap and easy to produce. But so is p*rn.” -Kevin, on The McLaughlin Group

“After watching HQ Words you wonder why Anna Roisman hasn't hit the big time yet. After watching HQ After Dark, you can completely understand why.” -Gordon

“If I die tonight, I want two of the Woodpeckers, two of the Football Tar Heels, and two of the Panthers to serve as my pallbearers so they can all let me down one more time.” -C, on Bad Sports Week 2019

“The first time is flattery, the second time is a lie.” -Michael

“I went to the mall with my pops. I saw something driving to there that truly shocked me. Someone had an orange Ford F650 extended cab pick up truck… With duallies… A rolling coal smokestack… And hubcaps with spikes on each of the nuts. And my only thought was… “My God… It must be MICROSCOPIC!” -Brian

“Would’ve expected to see “Employees must wash hands before returning to work”, posted in the restroom, but alright NOLA, still good looking out I guess...” -Casey

“Because....um.....going from a 40 to a 33 waist apparently makes people want to bed you.” -Gordon

“Breaking news: Idiot talks to idiot on a channel watched by idiots.” -Kevin

“Screaming tree maraca!” -Dahlia

“Looks like I fell down on the job. Metaphorically, because literally would make me Oprah Rich and I'd be full of imported cheese right now.” -Laura

“In another decade or so, somebody is going to make a documentary on Ken Burns documentaries. The TRT will be 152 years.” -Kevin

“May your 2019 be filled with happiness, prosperity, great cocktails, laughter, and Waffle House when you need it most.” -Rick Wilson

“There are sober people in England... No there’s not!” -Mike the CD

“Oh... oh.... oh....” -Q “IT’S MAGIC!” -C

“And finally, some of y’all still out here begging (I’m mean, pure, unadulterated BEGGING) for attention (I’m talking ANY attention) and validation. Lord Jesus put that sadness away. Just put it away.” - Michael

“I’m thinking of a number. The number is 10. You go first.” -JD

“Also, I would take tasteful pics of me making pizza naked. I'm only 30 and I'm only gonna look like this once.” -Kimberly D

“I have ADD. You wanna ride a bike? I’m gonna drink some water. Rooooooam if you want to... This coffee’s really delicious. I’m a sucker for you.” -Q

“Matthew Judon... Body built by Taco Bell.” -Matthew Judon, professional football player

“YEAH!!!! 1943, BITCH!” -my response to Q’s retelling of the events leading up to the Battle of Midway.

“Depending upon the inflection (Bless your heart) can mean anything from “oh you poor thing” to “would you lend me your brain?, I’m building an idiot”.” -Brian

“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” -LiyaZee

“That is a giant banana!” -Chris Ahearn, re: a giant banana “Why thank you!” -JB

“Betty White the Happy Homehooker.” -C

“I'll only have a hamberder if I can have it with covfefe.” -The Governess

“I will never forget when you surprised my ass in Atlantic City. That was the weekend of the Press Your Luck Prime Rib.” -JB “That was my first taste of the juice.” -Chico “And you been on the corner... ever since... looking for a fix.” -JB

“Sounds like a generic dude who owns the Ford dealership in every single city in America.” -BFG’s response to “Who is Tom Steyer?”

“Time to switch to Channel 7...” -Cyndi, getting ready to launch a Dallas recap style recap

“The only difference I've noticed this year is that now I get told, "OK Boomer", when I complain about holiday creep.” -Trey

“A 21st Century Koan... If a vegan that sold essential oils begin doing CrossFit… Which would they tell you about first?” -Brian

“Sorry I shoved my hair in your face.” -Christina

“You are turning into a Burberry wearing, wine drinking, charcoal mask wearing kinda guy... AND I COULDN’T BE PROUDER!” -Q

“Instead of airing new Love Island episodes, something tells me CBS is better off rerunning “The Mentalist”. -Doug “CBS is better off running Secret Talents of thr Stars.” -Gordon

“How far along are you?” -some guy “Oh, about six burritos and about a dozen cupcakes.” -Kimberly

“Answers and bribes go into the Corona Extra bucket.” -Michael

“Dear God, Please watch over Cole Anthony’s shoes.” -C

“What’s that scent you’re wearing? Oh, a little something I call washing your ass.” -Q

“You ever just wish there was a coffee delivery service? .... I do.” -Kathleen

“I’m just another brother with a game show.” -BFG

“(Unintelligible) ... Thicke of the niiiight.” -Greg’s impersonation of Gilbert Gottfried’s impersonation of Alan Thicke

“Antonio Brown doesn’t need football - ‘They’re going to play by my rules.’ A bold statement from a guy dressed as a hippo on a talent show.” -Klaussie

“You keep your head high and your middle finger higher.” -Alex

“There has to be a more scientific name for the penis. ... Intermittent organ?” —Gordon “That sounds pretentious enough to be scientific.” -C

“Zooey is saved for awkward sexy stories. Jeff Zucker is someone I don't want associated with "sexy stories".” -Dane

“Ryan is as Canadian as it gets. I think he bleeds maple syrup.” -C

“Turns out Gillette doesn’t work well with sensitive skin after all.” -Ben Rejmer

“Are you drinking something funny there, sunshine?” -Statboy

“It's so cold out here on the east coast that Jim Dolan, the brilliant genius that he is, decided to warm the citizens of Manhattan up and turn MSG into a giant dumpster fire.” -Gordon

“Ziggy is my spirit animal.” -C

“It may sound bougie, but.. you look good, you play good. You play good... they PAY good.” -Cam Newton

“We could be flying Pan Am Clippers to Venus. But MTV stopped playing music, legalized weed, and elected Donald Trump.” -C

“I get it. Tom Brady = deflated balls. Alex Guerrero = "inflates them". Hookers like Tom Brady. Damn, Alex Guerrero is better than Viagra.” -Klaussie

“I think I found the pony under the pile of shit." -Kimberly

“Skype sucks ass.” -Gordon

“In this troubled times, I like to put my hand over the kidney in my heart, stare at the moon of Mars contemplating how the wheel is older than the wall, the great things Frederick Douglas is doing & just being thankful I have ID to buy cereal, thankful for George Washington Airport victories & I don't have Windmill cancer.” -Trent Capelli...Twitter

“Sugar isn't "worse than cocaine." You're not killing yourself by ingesting sugars either in foods or in your coffee. People who are selling you weightloss programs want to tell you that you're killing yourself but there is no scientific evidence that sugar kills humans. Thank you for attending my TEDtalk.” - Shrub

“I found a love...” -Ed Sheeran “No you didn’t.” (Click) -Chico

“Many of you are wondering about my mental state after the Vols game last night. I assure you last night I slept like a baby. Sleep two hours, wake up and cry, sleep two hours, wake up and cry...” -Brian

“If you paid $7 for a Jack & Coke, you got jacked.” -Klaussie “... and Coked.” -C

“Rich Eisen getting triggered by an f’n commercial for 9-1-1 because it featured a fictional situation in a place where his kid goes to is the most white guy thing ever.” -Greg

“And now that your reagent is all nice and mixed and all the chemicals have gotten to know each other, gently put the reagent cartridge onto the instrument. Gently... GENTLY, YOU IDIOT!” -C, to himself

“... goddamned hula shirt.” -Q

“The person who wrote the article needs to be taken in the back and have their writing license revoked. And then shot. And then never be allowed to touch a keyboard again. And then have their hands chopped off.” -Gordon

“They got Bowzer next to Barbi Benton, the lucky son of a bitch.” -C

“Here's what gets me every time I see the trailer for the Cats movie...these are all successful actors. Like...nobody in this movie actually needs to do this.” -Lana

“I made Chico donate $24 to Extra Life.” -Gordon

“You guys are compact cars like I’m a gay, wasted white girl.” -Q

“HQ is like the divorced dad with a much younger, hippy dippy, girlfriend-- and the kids don't want to visit.” -Amberlee

“Suck down your coffee like you own it!” -Hollie

“DRUM SOLO!!!” -Weird Al

“You know when you’re a podcaster you need a good vocabulary. I did always have one. When I was young I mixed up Jacuzzi and Yakuza. And for a while I was in hot water with the Japanese mafia.” -Brian

“It’s game of thrones, but I’m much less Jon Snow and much more Johnny Mudstorm.” -Gordon

“Skype is being a ho.” -Jason

“It's a less-sensitive Soul Man, in a time we need no such shit.” -Klauss

“I thought you were gonna get a room.” -Chapel Hill Phil “I thought you were gonna mind your business.” -Chico “.... that’s fair.” -CHP

“For those of you who are upset about being single on Valentines Day, remember this... 99% of my socks are single but you don’t see them crying about it!” -Connor

“They are selling CBD oil at Bed Bath and Beyond?! I’m sure that’s quality stuff. Honky, please!” -Christina

“She is twisted. If she swallowed a nail, she’d shit out a corkscrew.” -Q

“Oh Taylor Swift. Patron saint of Pride Month. Thank God for straight white girls.” -Michael

“Apollo’s Chariot: “I’m the biggest baddest hypercoaster on the eastern seaboard.” Intimidator 305: “... Bless your heart.” Fury: “Both of you can hold my sweet tea.”” -C

“I don't know you and I sure as heck don't know your sister.” -Klaussie

“Nothing makes you stronger than having no choice in the matter. You’re strong because you have to be.” -Christina’s dad

“Apparently people have mistaken my professional courtesy with genuine interest.” -Michael

“Jon Bauman, you dingleberry!” -Chico a la James May

“Bad enough it’s Scott but it’s Comic Sans, so that makes it even worse.” -Nick “Gentlemen... start your whacking!” -Cyndi “PHRASING!” -Jay, Chico, JVG

“As Robert Downey Jr. once said...” -Cindy

“Whenever I see a married couple with a joint Facebook page, I never, ever have any thought other than "I wonder which one of 'em cheated."” -Adam

“Why is Dan Orlovsky talking football and why should I take anything Safetyman says seriously?” -Cyndi

“Okay, you're a billionaire and can easily afford top-of-the-line call girls at $5,000 to $10,000 an hour and you go to a sleazy massage parlor where the women smell like lavender and shame (so I've heard).” -Steve

“My floor is occupied with eggs.” -Gordon

“Quis, your thing is making noise. Can you make it... not make noise?” -C

“I’ve been waiting at the phone for 29 years hoping someone can win this cruise!” -Klaussie

“If you wanted the chicken fingers that badly, you could have asked for one instead of taking the whole plate of food. #WelcomeBackToLeague #BowlerCityThievery #CheckingTheCamerasAfterLeague.” -Gordon

“I'm proud to say I only cried five times. Admittedly, once was during the opening credits...” -Prof. O

“Phone calls in the mor-NING!” -C, describing his job as a radio jingle

“Okay, the shirt I was wearing when Liza gave me a slimy hug...I wanted to keep wearing it but I also loved the way the slime stains looked on it, so I waited six weeks to wash it so the slime stains would be totally set in. I just did laundry and there’s not a slime stain to be found anywhere on this shirt. On the one hand, mildly disappointed, but on the other hand, holy crap, Tide just made a customer for life out of me.” -Adam

"Really, you don't go back to the crazy ex-girlfriend. You leave her in the insane asylum." -Rafael Siegel, former Cash Show host

“Don't slap Charlotte in her boobs, you're just making her ANGRY!” -Brian

“Is it bigger than a Bird Box?” -Adam Nedeff’s take on What’s My Line?/Bird Box

“That song Birthday Sex is depressing when it’s your birthday and you have no sex.” -Red

“Politics politics politics Sean Spicer politics politics politics DWTS politics politics politics shimmy shimmy shimmy politics politics politics *tea sip*” -Kimberly

“We may need to add Brie Larson to the "How big is Batista's dick?" question list.” -Dane

“Chico and I not only know that we;re going to Hell, we requested a nice suite, complete with kitchen, spa and bidet, Aaron is coming also. We should have room in the suite for more if you want to join us.” -Gordon

“If Bill Cosby is telling you to get out, get out. Else, you'll get a dinner drink with a special surprise.” -Klauss

“Hey, what’s coming out this May?” -Q “(Incoherent slurring)” -C “Really? Who’s in it?” -Q “Ryan Reynolds, I dunno.” -C

“I feel like Neville Longbottom with a remembrall.” -Amberlee

“Comically oversized shit sells. It's America, bigger is better.” -Jessica

“You’ve heard of salt in a wound or lemon juice on a paper cut... but have you heard of Oxi Clean powder on a fingernail you cut too short? Pro tip: avoid that.” -Coby

“I have an idea.” -Q “OH NO!!!! NOT AN IDEA!!!!” -C

“Truck contains political promises.” -actual septic truck

“Uhh... framing?” -C

“It’s very easy to get friends on these apps if you say you’re a hot chick.” -Gordon

“Woodstock 50 cancelled after organizers determined they can’t make it as hilarious as Fyre Fest.” -Adam

“Age and wisdom divorced decades ago. Stupid people get old too.” -Austin

“They put some extra claps in this.” -C, re: CS2019 theme

“I hope she’s dreaming the biggest, bestest dreams... and I hope she never stops.” -Kathleen, on her new little girl.

“You think it’s awkward buying condoms, try returning them!” -Q

“If Mississippi State wins the Outback Bowl, we all get free Bloomin' Onions. If Iowa wins, we all get free Coconut Shrimp. If that's not reason enough to root for Iowa, I don't know what to tell you.” -Matty

“Full hearts, full stomachs, can’t poop.” -Evil Travis

“That's it. Officially referring to my boobs as my "small turkeys".” -LiyaZee

“More phone calls in the mor-NING!” -C, describing his job as a radio jingle

“Tried watching pre-debate coverage, but the phrase "brutal Darwinian logic of winnowing" sent me back to Press Your Luck.” -Heather

“...if we hold up a painting of Hurricane Dorian, will it die?” -Amberlee

“Hey Cindy... you married that.” -C

“Literatively? Okay.” -Gordon

“I plan on going with Chef from South Park's line on that one -- "There's a time and a place for everything, and it's called college."” - Kristin, on “Break Up With Your Girlfriend (Because I’m Bored)”

“Allegiant Stadium. Much like the Raiders... A WORK IN PROGRESS.” -C

“Nobody could sing like Milli Vanilli… But let’s be fair neither could they.” -Brian

“Gar-a-giola, Gar-a-giola, STRIIIIIIKE IT RICH! Gar-a-giola, Gar-a-giola, STRIIIIIIKE IT RICH! Strike! It! Riiiiich! Strike! It! Riiiiich! Gar-a-giola, Gar-a-giola, STRIIIIIIKE IT RICH!” -Nedeff’s lyrics to the love theme from “Strike It Richl by Hal Hidey

“In God we trust, all others must provide research-based, peer-reviewed data.” -Aryn

“Go-gurt™: because fuck spoons and decency.” -Sarah Ann

“Like I said ESPN is to the Patriots what FOX News is to the Republican Party.” -Greg

“That is like walking hepatitis.” -Tim DeLaGhetto

“Will there be any trivia questions on your trivia question show?” -Erskine

“I’m a journalism major, so I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” -BFG

“That’s Right is the Adam Gase of trivia apps.” -Greg

“And yes, Bill Maher does in fact molest collies, and goats...and sheep...and Chicago Bears. 😜” -JVG

“In the words of my dear uncle Paul, ‘Google it, bitch! I’m not here to educate you!’” -Nikki

“You know what they call the guy who graduates last in medical school?” -Megan “A doctor!” -C

“You can never win an argument with an idiot or an asshole. Idiots don’t know they’re wrong, and assholes won’t even consider the possibility that they could be wrong. You can’t help it if you’re an idiot sometimes, but don’t be an asshole. Just something to think about going into 2019.” -Clint

“No Ganos is good Ganos with Graham Gano.” -Tim

“Enough loonies to fill up the Bank of Montreal.” -Klauss

“In the age of auto correct no less, it makes me shudder when I see the leader of the free world making fifth grade grammar mistakes.” -Q

“You look like who did it and why.” -Mary

“Ow, my check! ... I mean, ow, my neck!” -Big Rick

“This woman on Wheel of Fortune has two grandchildren named Kennedy and Nixon, and I have questions.” -Melanie

“You’re the President of the United States and getting dragged by fucking Burger King. It’s just... wonderful.” -Shannon

“Classy, Like a White House Big Mac.” -Actual team trivia name

“Sex is a mistake 9 out of 10 times.” -Michael

“Who signs the cat?” -Carl

“This feels like an SNL sketch. Where’s Bill Hader?” -Greg

“Yeah! And uh...I played HQ with one of them in a hotel room. Wait, that sounds creepy.” -BFG “More than that. (No, THAT sounds creepy.) You have played online trivia with one of them. Surely you ran into or at least saw others in Vegas.” -Klaussie

the subject: The Jeopardy! All-Stars

“Step 1: Go to McDonald's. Step 2: Order a Shamrock Shake. There, now you don't have to read the article.” -Prof. O via Evil Travis. The question: “How to order a Shamrock Shake.”

Lunch lady: “Hey Dino! Get me a grape soda! I’m thirsty!” C, after an insane amount of giggling: “You said it, not me.”

“Some bitch decided she wanted to be a bitch.” -C

AP headline on Twitter: "Tim Tebow struggling in Triple-A; still a work in progress." GSNN: "Funny -- so was 'Million Dollar Mile'."

“The Bosa brothers = MAGA Gronk. Don't @ me.” -Klauss

“... BASSOON SOLO!!!!!” -Weird Al

Greg: “Crying Game Cereal. A surprise in every box.” (Everyone dies for, like, five minutes) Chico: “... I’m going to HQ.... YOU NEED TO GO TO CHURCH!”

“Aunt Becky has some stupid kids.” -Austin Rogers

“I wanna be 21 again and ruin my life differently... I have new ideas.” -Sarah Pribis

“Mannnn listen!! It's time to just throw the whole R. Kelly away!!” -Bruce

“By the time all is said and done, I will have been awake for 24 hours.” -C “Rookie.” -G

“Instead of airing new LI episodes, something tells me CBS is better off rerunning “The Mentalist”. -Doug

“Well they went over as well as a ham sandwich at a kosher deli.” -Q

“Drop it and get out of here!” -Carl’s boss

“The call is coming from inside the wheelhouse.” -Ullsperger

“I am the Marquis de Asshole.” -Gordon

“Elizabeth Banks’ ass is America’s ass.” -C, with apologies to Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, and Bill Carruthers

“Don't have an iPhone or iPad? Maybe you can beg at the boots of your betters, proletariat scum!” -Megan

“Tom Brady and Bob Kraft shaking hands and whispering into each other’s ear... ‘Hail Hydra’.” -C

Jason (discussing the Masked Singer): “The Hippo was ANTONIOOOOOOOO Brown!” Brian H: So THAT'S how the Madden Curse happened this year.

“Manish Mehta is on 92.3 The Fan right now. My first thought after hearing him for 5 seconds: He sounds like Aziz Ansari as The Bookworm on that SNL GSN show parody a few years ago.” -Klaussie

“Look at me, I’m Sandra Bullock.” -Nick

"That's Britain for you. Tea solves everything. You're a bit cold? Tea. Your boyfriend has just left you? Tea. Coordinated terrorist attack on the transport network bringing the city to a grinding halt? TEA DAMMIT!" — LiveJournal user jslayeruk

“Temporary emotions lead to permanent mistakes!” -C

“Tuesday night wasn’t just biscuits. Roy Williams went ahead and got the dirty rice to go with it.” -Adam Lucas after Carolina made State humble, 113-96

“Shaka... when the paywalls fell.” -Kevin

“Barbi Benton... ROLL TIDE!” -Greg

“I love when you ask for recommendations for establishments, services, recipes, products, etc., and people respond with, "Did you Google it?" Like, Thanks, Karen! I hadn't thought to use the easily-accessible, number one search engine in the world before! I'm totally not looking for recommendations based on actual experience from personal friends who will give me honest feedback, so I'm glad you directed me to Google!” -Cindy

SWSNBN: “Can your cover for me while I eat my sandwich?” C: “Go eat your sandwich.” SWSNBN: “I’ve got nothing going on.” C: “You’ve doomed us all. Go eat your sandwich.”

“If life gives you lemons remember: life was very honest about how many people it'd been with.” -Austin

“Two hours after lunch is still after lunch! BOOK SAY SO!” -C

“Remember, two wrongs don’t make a right, three rights make a left, and I’m Kyle Serra, quiz responsibly.” -Kyle

Q: “The answer fell into the pizza!” C: “Well now not only is it correct, it’s delicious.”

“Tom Brady just got the sixth stone. Half the NFL is about to vanish.” -Nikki

“I’m Max Essodus and I’m leaving!” -Klauss

“Chuck Todd is a bowl of Jello with a bad goatee and a shitty hair cut.” - @PhillyLocalGuy

“Leonard Frey! Leonard Frey! Anytime you call, Leonard will take care of you! Winter, Spring and Fall!” -Chico

“I THINK I’M BREAKING EVERY FCC RULE IN THE BOOK!” -Kevin Harlan calling two NFL games at the same time

“Horrible news to report, Baby Yoda has died after Myles Garrett beat the shit out of him with a helmet.” -Barry McCockiner

“The Yankees are like Roman Reigns: they’re good, everybody still hates them, and they always kick out of your finisher shm” -Mike Janela

“My nightmare is being stuck working for a guy that looks like Chris Cillizza” -@ChadShartman

“Mel Gibson/Rothschild casting is most inspired decision since Richard Spencer was chosen to write the screenplay for the new Frederick Douglas parody bio pic.” – Josh Marshall

“OOOOH! A LITTLE BIT OF THE BUBBLY!” - Chris Jericho

“Minecraft? HELL NO!” -Amberlee at RewardTheFan on Minecraft RewardTheFan

“109876543210, Happy New Year!” – Kyle @ Trivia Crack

“LYDIA CORNELL IS NOT A BIMBO!” -Mike

Tony Stark: “Hey, you said one out of fourteen million, we'd win, yeah? Tell me this is it.” Doctor Strange: “If I tell you what happens, it won't happen.”

America, let me just tell you something, do not commit crimes with checks.” –Charles Barkley

“I bet George Halas and Pop Warner are up there now coaching Angels in the Heaven Bowl.” –Cord Hosenbeck

“The director saw Green Book and was inspired to make a bigger disaster of a movie about race.” –From the IMDb Trivia Page for Loqueesha

“Drew Brees and Harry Styles fighting over a Pepsi is Peak 2010s.” -Chico

“The aging app? I didn’t know there was an app that helped Mike Maccagnan make his freaking draft picks!!!” -@DAitken90

“For all the notes and stats FOX gave out, they missed that this was the very first post-season game in history where two wife-beater closers gave up two-run home runs in the 9th.” -Ken Levine

Chico: “Man, Bowzer ruined this!” Mike: “Just like the second half of the show Bowzer ruined this!”

“Amazon Suggestion for David Pecker: Because you considered “Blackmailing the Richest Man Who Ever Lived,” we recommend you “Get an Orange Jumpsuit.” –Stephen Colbert

“When in doubt, choose Helium!” –Megan

“They should make a Mistress Pac-Man. Ghosts chasin’ her around the apartment Pac-Man rents for her, eatin’ all the strawberries and chocolates he sends and whatnot. Then the last level Ms. Pac-Man is after her ass like “Oh HELL no that’s MY round yellow man!!!” –George Wallace

“God is a woman and her name is Hailee Steinfeld” -@dakotalanthimos

“I stopped by the Statue of Liberty today, thinking about freedom, and the ability to go for it all.” –Bill Walton at the Pac-12 Tournament in Las Vegas talking about being at the NY-NY Casino

“today marks LaGuardia Airport’s first positive contribution to America.” –Jack Holmes on the end of the Late 2018-Early 2019 Government Shutdown

“BEAT THAT GHOST DICK!” -Matt Richards

Greg: “What if the Monster on The Masked Singer is Michael Cohen?” Mike: “If it is that will almost guarantee there won’t be a second season of The Masked Singer.”

“Roger Clemens tried to smash Mike Piazza’s head with a baseball bat and was still less of an asshole than Curt Schilling.” -@[email protected]

“I love all the diversity in Star Wars. There’s brown people and someone with a Boston accent” -Dani Fernandez

“I don’t care that Brock Lesnar won Money In The Bank, I want to know if Brett Somers won Money In The (BLANK)” -Mike

“Woodrow Wilson even with a stroke was sharper than Donald Trump is today.” –David Frum

“THE JABRONI OF THE JABRONI MOVIE FOR THE HOLLYWOOD BLONDE JABRONI NEED TO HAVE THE MOST EXCELLENT LEADING HEAL TO MAKE THE IRON SHEIK LOOK LIKE THE LEGEND. PROBLEM NOBODY HEAL ENOUGH TO BE THE LEGEND. THIS WAY ONLY PERSON THAT TAKE THE CHRIS HEMSWORTHLESS LOOK LIKE HE THE REAL BABYFACE IS THE LEGEND IRON SHEIK. OTHERWISE THIS MOVIE WORSE THAN THE NOTEBOOK AND WORSE THEN THE JABRONI BETTE MIDLER BEACHES” –The Iron Sheik

“As far as I’m concerned, that’s America’s ass!” - Scott Lang “That is America’s Ass.” - Steve Rogers “America’s Ass? Are you talking about Tom Villard?” - Mike

“Oh Jesus, it’s Jimmie Walker’s turn!” –Chico

“Where’s the Robert Kraft spa video? I’d rather watch a video of my own funeral.” –Gerard Mulligan

“So, does Jeff Zucker have to completely cause CNN to lose money and get devalued so badly it gets bought out by Comcast for him to replace Vince Russo as “worst Turner Broadcasting hire ever?” -Dane

“I was just researching Mark Russell as a "Whatever happened to...?" He's still alive.” –Matt Jones

“And all of ESPN and FS1’s morning shows are just the worst. People who watch them actually come away dumber for doing so. I don’t understand the appeal of watching idiots on either network yell biased opinions at each other...many of which are lacking context or facts beyond what they see on a caption of a social media post. It’s like going to a comment section and watching arguments.” -Dylan White on the Awful Annoucing Facebook comments section

“Hunter, Kiss my ass.” –Dave Bautista

“The fact that the CEO of twitter can have his account hacked is a blinding indictment of twitter’s security policies. The fact that no one could tell the difference is a blinding indictment of jack himself.” -@ChrisSmith_RSB

“I don’t know anybody who loves or even likes Trey Wingo.” -@SlicedBrett

“A Madea Star Wars” must now be a thing…” –Amberlee

“People are like "the New York Post is bad for that cover, subscribe to the Daily News instead!" as if the Daily News didn't run a screencap of a woman being murdered on it a few years back. They're both pure trash. Neither are better.” -Craig Calcaterra

“Tim Burton’s Dumbo brings out Michael Buffer TWICE to say “Let’s get rrready…for Dumbo!” and I laugh again every time I think about it.” –Ken Jennings

“Who the hell is Dr. Lee Franz?” –Jason H.

“I was in the theater and that moment was revealed and the audience was “OOOOH!” and I just was laughing so hard!” –Ron Burgundy remembering the ending of “The Crying Game”

“Ladies and Gentleman… whatever legitimacy pro wrestling has left literally crawled under the ring.” –Chico critiquing the workrate of Colin Jost

“BANODLES, ARE YOU READY TO GO SHOPPING, YOU SON OF A BITCH?” -MIKE

“Can y'all imagine if the Gremlins and Jason Vorhees both attacked at the same time that would be some difficult shit to deal with anyway talk to you later” -George Wallace

“Trump getting impeached over the Ukraine is a little like Scorsese getting the Oscar for The Departed, but hey recognition is recognition.” -John Ross Bowie

“Alex Trebek is a fixture in the American firmament and we're all behind him. What a great man, so kind to my family and so warm to all of us contestants. Send him your love.” -Austin Rogers

“Rather than bore you with my expansive knowledge of British politics, allow me to comment on more pressing matters: drunken Chris Jericho getting his belt stolen” -Mike Tunison (@xmasape)

“Only ESPN would do a feature on Robert Kraft taking former players to Jerusalem — while he awaits trial for soliciting prostitution in a sex trafficking ring.” -@willgcopeland

“Looking forward to the “In Memory of Jim Cornette’s Career” graphic that will be starting Dynamite.” - Trevor Dame

“Tom Steyer sounds like a guy who airs MLK and Columbus Day ads, where you can get a new Mustang or Fusion for up to $6,000 off MSRP” - BFG

“Eh, what’s her name? Her name Barry Lonson. She’s in da, she won Oscar for the movie “Stuck In The Basement”. Also, she’s in the movie “Kink Kong: He Got Love With Her” but how he make sex with her, she’s young, she’s small and he big. I don’t know?” -Yehya reviewing Captain Marvel

“To this day nobody knows who Ann Risley is.” -Chico

“Heartbreaking: there is apparently no video I can find of this moment, where a robot named "Mr. Scraps" delivered a ball to James Doohan (Scotty from Star Trek), who had just arrived in a dry-ice-and-laser-bathed Delorean to throw out the first pitch in "The Biodome". Please enjoy this real quote from the Mariners former VP of marketing: "We named the robot Mr. Scraps, because it looked like a garbage can on wheels. Not exactly what we were expecting, but it served its purpose." [email protected]

MC Cool Cloud: “No union better mess with my family!” Cloud 9 Employee in Training Video: “Oh, MC Cool Cloud, (pats stomach) you’re gonna be the best dad.” Garrett: “I’m sorry, did MC Cool Cloud just impregnate a human?” Mateo: “I think he did.” “I’m in shock, Gene. I just talked to my accountant and I found out this guy made 30 grand and I’m working for minimum scale.” -Marty Cohen on MG-HSH Episode #12 “It would be kind of weird for a person named Tammy to be played by Tim Dunigan.” -Mike

“Chico's brain only has so much memory. It's either the capital of Botswana, or something you rambled at 3AM while white-girl wasted. Only one of those nuggets of wisdom is a panty-dropper, and I think we all know which.” -Laura

“So, the audience for SNL seems to be comprised of easily offended Catholics, YouTube “influencers”, and Trump. But Lorne Michaels still thinks he shouldn’t retire? Because if I learned those people watched something I produced, I’d eschew all technology forever and go live in one of those Unabomber log cabins.” -Kevin

“Morning report: The "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd sure gets triggered easily.” -Rick Wilson

“ZIPPERS?!” -Klauss

“We’s considerin’ buddies.” -C

“Automan’s naked and wearing a belt? I don’t get this!” -Klaussie

“You were standing in his crotch!” -Anna

“I am utterly surprised there were no traces of Batman cereal yet Greg's dad made at least 2 appearances.” -Klaussie

“Next time, can you pick a gas station that ISN’T in the middle of nowhere?” -C

“Did Isaac ever deliver cold hard cash direct to your PayPal account? No!” -Greg

“Too many phone calls in the mor-NING!” -C, describing his job as a radio jingle

“Semi-Quotable of the 2010s--Hundreds of quips enter, Adam Nedeff wins because he's funny and he has half of Hollywood under his thumb.” -Klaussie

“You’re not you when you’re thirsty.” -Q, the Double Entendre of the Year

“Nobody ever robbed a convenience store to get sugar money.” -Brandon

“If you're mad at rich peoples kids for getting special acceptance/treatment at college and you aren't mad about all the athletes that get the same thing you're a hypocrite. Ya'll leave Aunt Becky alone.” -Stephanie

“Damn it! I used too much stick.” /Ethan

“And her tights say two cents a dance.” -Kimberly

“Go home, That’s Right. You’re clearly on meth.” -Evil Travis

“I paid $700 for THAT?!” -Klaussie

“Florida is now under a Jim Cantore watch.” -Braden

“Good Brother, but Bad Mother!” -Gordon

“Dude. Even Nike hates Duke!” -D

“For 15 points, Will Smith’s arrogant cousin Hillary appeared in an episode of NBC’s hit sitcom Blossom. Another episode of blossom featured Don Novello playing the role of Father Guido Sarducci, and Father Guido Sarducci also popped up on an episode of Married...With children. Stay with me here. David Faustino’s character Bud Bundy also popped up all the Fox network sitcom Parker Lewis Can’t Lose. In another episode of Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, Parker crosses paths with grown-up Eddie Haskell, who of course,We all remember from Leave It to Beaver. His next-door neighbors, June, Wally, and Beaver Cleaver were all characters in an episode of the Love Boat. Now there is this other episode of the Love Boat where all of Charlie’s Angels are on board. In an episode of Charlie’s Angels, Dan Tanna shows up from Vega$. But that’s not important right now. Remember when I said Parker Lewis had crossed paths with Eddie Haskell? Well Eddie also popped up on an episode of Hi Honey I’m Home. So did Gale Gordon‘s character Mr. Mooney, who you might remember from the Lucy Show. There’s an episode of the Lucy Show where Lucy crosses paths with Private Gomer Pyle, USMC, who, of course originally appeared on the Andy Griffith show, which was a spinoff of Make Room for Daddy. On an episode of Make Room for Daddy, Danny encounters Buddy Sorrell, one of Alan Brady’s writers on The Dick Van Dyke Show. Alan Brady later appeared on Mad About You, where Ursula was the twin sister of Phoebe from Friends, and Phoebe’s friend Chandler Bing showed up on Caroline and the City, where Caroline draws a popular comic strip that is read and enjoyed by Daphne Moon, the caretaker for Dr. Frasier Crane’s disabled father. Dr. Crane used to hang out at a Boston bar called Cheers, where Norm, Cliff, and Carla encounter Drs. Auschlander & Westphall, but on a landmark 1988 broadcast, we learn that Drs. Auschlander & Westphall never existed and that all of the shows I mentioned in this question are logically the figments of the imagination of Tommy Westphall, Who is the only character who demonstrably existed on what beloved medical drama?” -Adam

“Snapchat Catch Phrase!” -Will & Erinn

“#1800235DEAD!” -...damn near everybody

“Charles Stiles, Mystery Diners.” -Charles Stiles, Mystery Diners

“This tea is delicious.” -Kimberly === Here’s to 2019... Come together, just think of tomorrow.

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