#they are simultaneously this couple and the couple that fake proposes to each other in restaurants to get free food

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Small Tears of the Kingdom changes that could have done a lot

(at least according to me, the one singular flawed person writing this post)

In my desperate attempt to close off the Tears of the Kingdom season on my side of the internet (failing so far), I wanted to join the proposals of a couple of small restructurations/rewrites I've seen on my dashboard. These wouldn't change much of the game, but enough to boisten some of the themes and make the experience both more open and more streamlined. They try to ignore a lot of my own biases towards what I would have loved to see explored within the game and focus on what already exists (I said try). These changes are not only story-driven but also focus on quest design and narrative reward logic, which puzzled me even more than the story itself.

It's obviously not the end all be all of everything, there's a ton of small things that aren't fully adressed, etc.

Here are the 3 main tenants of this proposal:

We know about Fake Zelda by the end of the tutorial section. We see glimpses of her all the way, even though Rauru doesn't seem to be aware she's here, and most of our obstacles come from us trying to reach and save her. Then, by the end, she tries to kill us in the Temple of Time, and we realize she's fake and a lure (it could be a small mini boss, nothing too severe; just something to prove we understand combat). It could also be an earlier occasion to have Ganondorf shit-talk us using his creepy voice through her body, that could build up a better sense of rivalry going forward and make the betrayal of him using her body sting much more than it does in the current version.

Ganondorf, using Fake Zelda, tries to antagonizes each region of Hyrule towards their princess --and, the very important part, it works. The kingdom is splintering apart as he plans his return and his invasion. The goal in each region is not to vaguely solve the weird local problem, but, using the regional hero that knows and trusts Link, to prove that whatever is happening isn't Zelda's fault. This allows to build some sense of tension and stakes, makes us deeply empathize with an overwhelmed Zelda trying to step up as a leader in the aftermath of the Calamity and isn't here to defend herself (and then when we learn where she is and what she did it hurts so much more). The camp where Purah is could also double-down as the beating heart of Hyrule trying to reconnect with the suspicious regions suffering the turmoil isolated from each other.

The Dragon's Tears questline is overhauled, and that can happen in two simultaneous ways. Some of these memories remain Zelda's, but now only some of them, perhaps those who are connected to Zelda's decision to become a dragon without ever spilling it out (and could even focus more on her insecurities as a young ruler and her relationship to her ancestors), remain sprinkled into the land to reward those who want to understand more about her motivations. But now, each of the secret stones collected along the way also function as tears, and instead of being treated to another delicious serving or The Imprisoning War? The Demon King??? we get to discover a little bit more of the mystery. The way it could work is quite simple: the Sage introduces us briefly to their own perspective into the war outside of a voiced cutscene to give the writing more flexibility regarding what the player already did to avoid repetition ( :) :) ), and then plays a pre-determined cutscene in a linear fashion, which is one of Rauru's memories embedded within the secret stone and tells the story of the fall of his kingdom to Ganondorf. (also bonus: now Zelda's tears don't embody the entire kingdom anymore, which was very strange and never sat right with me)

So what we did is to separate the different stories while intertwining them: Zelda's struggles and sacrifice on one hand, Rauru's regrets and bitterness on the other (lololol sorry), and Ganondorf's attempt to break the kingdom apart --which would feed into both Zelda's anxieties and Rauru's long winded defeat. The bonus to this approach would also be to question Hyrule's legitimacy: the various races would then need to decide, after having actively questioned the young princess, that they actually still believe in Hyrule and a future they all get to live in together.

This would also give a little bit more teeth to Ganondorf's motivation, his deep envy for the power of Hyrule and the fact that his own people chose it over him, let alone everyone else. As for the Link's motivation, trying to have everyone see that Zelda is worth it and stop that evil force from shattering her image while also acknowledging the faults of the past could make the player invested in wanting to bring Zelda back down after everything she went through and all the sacrifices she made to prove herself a worthy ruler (Rauru's forcefulness in assimilating the realm under his banner even though he meant well being his actual character flaw that Mineru could eventually acknowledge, to give her something to do instead of... feeling bad for no clear reason!! Also just *give emotional weight* to that time she holds Rauru's hand again when she swears fealty to Link, this was so simple and obvious how was it not given the time it needed for us to care about what was lost!!! aaa)

Yes, it's still about the power of love and sacrifice over ruthless domination, but now characters have a little bit more agency and we feel a little less like they have a zonai knife under their throats the entire time forcing them to always be happy and enthusiastic about swearing fealty to the immortal kingdom. They find out about the past but get to redefine their future instead of falling over themselves in worship; literally using pieces and bits of the past in the form of zonai tech to rebuild their own kingdom and their future dreams. Together they are stronger; but because they all chose to believe in that mantra instead of having it being imposed by long dead kings and faceless ancestors expecting them to die for a war that shouldn't concern them.

(Also, obviously, the gerudo region has to reckon with the Demon King being particularly angry at them for betraying him, and them deciding to reject his rule a second time and embrace their own path, because in the original TotK Ganondorf being gerudo could be removed entirely without any consequence, which is pretty sad since it's basically an enormous part of what makes him compelling as a villain for a lot of people and keeps him from being a completely generic Nintendo stock villain!!)

And honestly? Beyond a couple of dialogue changes and slightly different setups and reasonings for Link to do certain things, especially in the various regional quests? Most of everything else could stay roughly the same. The bones are here! They're just arranged in a really weird way.

(except for Ganondorf surviving as a big bad dragon in the end through the sacrifice of his mind to immortality because that's just much more interesting than turning him into a supernova --but that's really a bonus honestly)

#totk #totk spoilers #tears of the kingdom #thoughts #zelda #rauru #ganondorf #because we can access information from different angles doesn't mean we should access it whenever imo #not if it fucks up the pacing and our understanding of plot characters and story #also to pace the story from between challenges instead of shoving it all down in your mouth if you do all the memories at once #is just better user experience imo #especially for a zelda game that attempts to pace itself like a legend #so trial and tribulation -> new development #not new development because you tried to paraglide into a pond missed but like you have 1 heart left but you ate 28 apples ok let's go #and then you do that 10 more times in a row #anyway!!! #just thoughts

[fellominaarcher]

GOT MARRIED - YOO JIMIN; KARINA AESPA

4. Controversies, Marry You

approx. word counts: 4603 words

p l a y l i s t

"We Got Married; Aespa's Karina Proposal and DayDream's Y/N."

"The first episode of the rebooted We Got Married hit the headlines and quickly climbed the charts.

Following the cancellation of the show, the TV station made the decision to relaunch it and invite younger idols to participate.

The pair that appeared in the first episode, however, was another factor that contributed to its massive popularity. The show featured two of KPOP's most popular 4th generation idols.

They are DayDream Y/N and Karina from Aespa.

The two first met in the cafe, where they talked as usual and got to know each other.

But that was only the beginning of the show, and what shocked the audience the most was the way Y/N proposed to Karina. It was assumed that Y/N prepared all of the decorations and planned them with her group members.

Karina's response to the proposal was both heartfelt and genuine. Fans on both sides are excited to see how they progress and are looking forward to their wedding ceremony."

While drinking her coffee and holding her phone, Y/N scoffed at the article, insulting the current uproar around her and Karina's appearance in WGM.

"Woah, an article is already up!" exclaimed Hayeon as she walked close to her.

Y/N belongs to the group's unnie line.

As she set the mug down, the girl closed the screen of her phone and tucked it away in her pocket.

The typical conversation about Karina Aespa began as she turned away from the girl and sat down on the couch with Dajeong.

"I hope this doesn't have a negative impact on our group," the leader began to speak up, a slight scowl on her face.

Y/N's face dropped as she took a deep breath in. "I'm worried," she expressed.

She threw her head up, her gaze fixed on the ceiling, as so many thoughts raced through her mind.

The worries also goes to Aespa because not only love and admirations for their participation in this show, but also hate and torment them because of the couple, which comes from fans who are simply incapable of understanding that idols are interacting behind the cameras and are fully capable of falling in love like non-idols.

Prominently, one of the reasons why Karina was so distressed of her appearance in this show.

She was concerned about how it would affect other members, particularly herself.

When Karina read a news article regarding the first episode of We Got Married and learned that the people were essentially talking about her and Y/N, her eyes widened and she nearly spit out her juice.

Ningning eyed at the older sister with concern as she turned down the TV's volume.

She sat down next to the girl and asked, "How are you feeling?" while rubbing her back.

Karina approached the maknae with a pout and a devastated face, hugging Ningning and pretending to cry.

She did, after all, fake a cry, but the emotion was genuine.

Giselle, who was just observing the two's interaction. "Things will be okay," the Japanese member assured their leader with a pat on the back.

The hugs came to an end. "Please help me, girls, or else..." Jimin grumbled, her hands in her hair.

As she laid her head on Ningning's laps, she shook her head a little harsh, her hands interlocking in her hair.

"Whoa, heavy head, be careful!" The unexpected weight made Ningning scream.

Karina slapped her playfully. "Shut up, I'm going crazy here!" she cried helplessly.

Giselle murmured to the girls, "This is what I feel when they batshit me," as she sighed and shook her head.

They all simultaneously nodded their heads. "Where's Minjeong unnie?" Ningning enquired of Giselle.

Gigi nudged her shoulders up, she responded, "Eh, she's probably asleep by now," as she glanced at the time.

1:31pm.

By the time it is now, Minjeong must be really sleepy, or she may simply be exhausted from their activities.

It was just another hectic day of filming for the second episode of We Got Married, and they were also getting ready for the couple's interview.

It's now somewhere between 8 and 9 in the morning, and Karina yawned dramatically, "HOOOH."

She shook her head to rouse herself awake and realise that her group wouldn't be there for her in the morning.

Now that she and her manager are the only two present, the girls will be seeing her for the evening shoots.

Once her makeup artist was finished, SM's stylist clothed her.

Her manager poked fun at her and asked, "How are you liking her?" smiling devilishly.

The inquiry caused her eyes to widen, and she gave the manager an odd look.

"I don't even have feelings for her!" she scoffed, poutingly denying.

The manager continues to waggle her brows and teasingly say, "Heyyy, who knows you will!" still maintaining the devilish grin.

She was furiously shaking her head and she mumbled, "It's only for the show, unnie," too exhausted to respond.

She replied, "Yes, yeah," with a smirk as the manager laughed.

Her face contorted as she turned to face the manager. "Why is everyone teasing me about Y/N and me?!" she wondered, her voice slightly raised in confusion.

The manager shrugged off the girl's query and walked away to get ready for something else.

The first episode's interview began after a brief interval.

As Y/N spoke, the camera focused on her face. "That moment when I proposed to her, woah, my heart felt like it was about to burst anytime" she described how she felt about the proposal.

She remembered how it felt to ask Karina to marry her as her hand was placed on her chest as she spoke with a hesitant smile.

"I didn't say everything I wanted to say, but it came out well despite my shaky voice," Y/N continued, chuckling.

These were the few comments she made regarding her feelings.

The director called a halt to the shoot. Y/N got up from the chair and started to leave the shooting location.

They are currently beginning with Karina's interview.

As the makeup artist finished her final touches on Karina, she cleared her throat and was ready to look at the camera.

"All right," the director said, signalling the crew to begin filming.

His hand motioned for "Action!" and everyone got busy.

"So, Karina, how do you feel about your first meeting?" the PD questioned.

Karina paused for a moment before responding, "Honestly, I wouldn't expect it to be her," she deceived, well, actually Y/N did lie about that as well.

"We spoke for a few hours and had a lot of awkward first conversations, but she is a natural at coming up with conversation subjects."

She exhaled. "Surprisingly, a bit fast paced too because she proposed suddenly in the evening but that's okay because that's the show culture," she added, laughing lightly.

They've finished the interview, which lasted nearly 30 minutes.

Karina became aware that Y/N was watching her as she conducted her interview; her gaze avoided Y/N, but the latter approached her.

"I like the way you talk" Y/N remarked suddenly out of the blue.

Not even a hi, hello or how are you, was uttered by her.

As Y/N stated those, Karina was looking at her in the dead eyes and her mouth was partly open.

Y/N's face likewise became expressionless and had only eyes that expressed regret, shame, and genuine embarrassment.

The older girl smirked "Emotional damage?" she pressed the girl in English.

What a devil this woman can be, she crossed her arms, leaned a little closer to Y/N, and peered directly into Y/N's eyes.

As her gaze swerved to another place, Y/N was in a rain of embarrassment. "W-what?" She stammered.

She rolled her eyes "Yah, Yoo Jimin you ruined my cool image" she pointed out.

Karina grinned broadly and laughed as she strode away.

"Isn't it fun to be annoyed?" she asked, alluding to how Y/N always irritates her

"But that's my job to do, Karina!" the younger girl whined, calling her by her stage name.

Karina sniggered, "Haa yes yes, keep annoying me," she said to the other girl, who was grinning like the devil.

Y/N jogged in Karina's direction and made an attempt to follow her. "Are you ready?" she questioned.

Her gaze was drawn to Y/N. "For the wedding?" she inquired.

"Not really, must be unexpected things again," Karina chuckled, refusing to predict or expect.

Y/N gestured that she didn't know. "This time our groups planned this so-called wedding, so expect the worst" adding sarcastically.

The other girl sighed "We should get going now, time is gold" Karina spoke as she walked out of the studio.

Because it is a spontaneous and simple wedding, the wedding preparations will take nearly two days.

The studio was almost completely empty when the younger girl was left there.

Y/N smirked at the girl, stating, "She can be bold at times," while watching the girl sway her hips.

It's somewhat true to say that Y/N is now captivated by the majestic woman who appeared to be straight out of a manga.

After two days, the show arranged for the 'wedding' of the two idols.

Y/N blew raspberries in annoyance, albeit not truly; the ceremony had taken her by surprise.

The fact that the day had finally arrived and the girl was now extremely anxious also irked her a little.

She is concentrating so hard on what to say, how to move, and how to breathe during the duration of the ceremony.

They booked a luxurious hotel ballroom, and the Aespa and Daydream members decorated it with balloons and fantastical decorations.

Aespa's members simply chose a less expensive wedding-themed dress, a white long dress with sleeves, for their respective leader.

The girls wanted Karina to wear a veil so they could emphasise her beauty even more, as there was a hint of delicate blue lines along her outfit.

They also assisted with the makeup, which was clean and enhanced her stunning beauty.

DayDream, who partnered with Aespa, believed Y/N would look chic in a white slim dress.

The slim dress has the same soft blue lines running over it, and this wedding is just plain crazy.

It was amateurish and chaotic, yet despite everything it will work.

"All right, Yoo Jimin, my daughter, you are the most beautiful right now," Ningning said, impersonating Jimin's mother.

Jimin reacted by asking, "What?" after Ningning pretended to cry and wiped her tear away with a finger.

The leader gave the maknae a strange look, and Ningning led her out of the dressing room to show Jimin off to everyone.

Would you believe it?

In front of you is a tall, attractive woman with a slim build who is wearing a white dress with creamy blue lines.

She was wearing heels, her makeup was simple and natural, and my God, her braided hair just makes everything better.

It has a knotted curl and is very tastefully embellished with little flowers all the way around.

Her slightly red kissable lips and smile drive you crazy.

Everyone, even the SM staff, was in disbelief.

Although it was just a playful wedding, they were all taken aback by how stunning she looked at the moment.

Why does she appear to be the most gorgeous?

Giselle approached her, "Oh my gosh, that's a woman right there!" and she yelled in shock.

She turned the girl around in a 360-degree round with her hands covering her mouth, but she was unable to comprehend the beauty.

Giselle made a slay hand motion and said, "Damn!" with a smug grin on her face.

Jimin was amused by her shenanigans. "I'm not getting married for real," she simply responded.

"So what?!" Giselle responded by pulling out her phone to photograph Karina's appearance.

When Minjeong snapped a candid photo of her leader, she was astounded to see such beauty.

The manager smiled at the girl's appearance. "Wow, really beautiful!" exclaimed the manager happily upon seeing the girl.

Her beauty fascinated her.

As she gave the girl two thumbs up and a pat on the back, she asked Minjeong to snap pictures of her with Jimin.

After a few minutes, everyone was getting ready for the 'wedding,' and some of the guests were also appropriately dressed.

Yet, the majority of them are also members of Jimin's and Y/N's groups.

"For some reason, I'm nervous." Jimin said to the camera that was in charge of filming the show's behind-the-scenes action.

The crews were getting ready for Jimin's shot, where she would go down the aisle carrying the flower while wearing the bride's attire.

The cameramen will start filming as soon as the pair is revealed during the wedding ceremony.

Jimin took a deep breath and smiled to loosen the tense atmosphere.

The show's filming was launched by Mr. Director with the words "In 1, 2, and 3."

"Action!"

Let's Get Married - William Singe

When the blurry image of Yoo Jimin strolling down the red carpet became clear, one of the cameramen captured the door opening.

The cameraman focused on Jimin as she descended slowly while wearing a veil and holding a bouquet of flowers.

Y/N's attention was drawn to Jimin's appearance as another camera captured it.

The cameras caught her reaction as she grinned heartily when her eyes locked onto Jimin's beauty.

She turned back to face Giselle, who will conduct their wedding, and could not help but smile brightly.

Father Giselle, I'm guessing.

She's a cool girl, that's what I like about her.

Giselle's jaw dropped when she saw the idol's reaction. "Girl, what?" she nearly yelled in shock.

Because she was very certain that Y/N was overcome by the attractiveness of her best friend.

As Jimin drew nearer to Y/N, she raised her hand at the girl to signal for her to turn around once more.

"TURN AROUND, TURN AROUND!" Gigi mouthed yelled to her 'in law'.

Jimin was already nearby when Y/N abruptly spun around, bringing them face to face.

She ignored the stare of the woman who was standing tall in front of her and couldn't help but smile.

When Jimin almost burst out laughing, she covered her face with the flower and laughed quietly but painfully.

As light applauses were presented to the couple, YN and Jimin linked their arms as they walked together towards Giselle's altar.

The couple was the groups' primary focus. "Woah, they're insane" Minjeong commented out of the blue.

"Focus!" Gigi demanded, literally nearly crying, obviously not serious, she was about to laugh as well.

While remaining motionless, Y/N stripped away her smile and cleared her throat.

The same goes to Jimin.

Everyone fell hushed and focused intently on the event as the couple finally reached Giselle's altar.

Gigi feigned a cough. "Everyone has gathered here, ladies and gentlemen," she began in English.

"Eyo!" Dajeong DayDream instantly vibed with Gigi.

They winked at one other while exchanging pointers' fingers.

One of the cameras managed to record this interaction, which fans will undoubtedly edit for the interaction videos and upload to YouTube.

Ningning took Jimin's flowers from her as they were supposed to hold hands and said out their 'vows'.

First, Y/N removed the veil from Jimin's face, revealing her angelic beauty.

Y/N's heart leaped a little and her breath was taken away.

Who wouldn't be drawn in by Yoo Jimin?!

Jang Y/N extended both of her hands, and Jimin joined them, gently embracing Y/N's hands.

When it happened, everyone joyfully clapped their hands and gave the loudest round of applause.

"To witness the union of two people, Yoo Jimin and Jang Y/N," Giselle began.

She wished she could smile. "Please read the vows that your members have written now."

Giselle gave the go-ahead for Ningning and a member of the DayDream to present the written vows to the couple.

As they were all involved in writing them and only the couple will read them, the written vows were undoubtedly nonsensical.

Y/N accepted the paper and turned the paper around to face her while she carefully read a few phrases.

"Okay..." she murmured, her eyes widening a little in the process.

"Don't you think we're the most attractive couple?" Y/N informed her 'wife', which was not in the vow.

Y/N smirked, teasing the older one, and Jimin responded with a quick glare.

Her left hand was clutching Jimin's hand. "To my wife, Yoo Jimin," she began to say her vows.

"I promise to never leave you and always stick with you for as long as we're married, even when I have to deal with your grumpy self, it's a must."

When she read that aloud, Y/N almost started laughing and wondered who in her group had written that.

She scrunched up her face in bewilderment and thought it was humorous to read it aloud.

"You are the light of my life, you bring to light my world, and you illuminate the room when you pull the curtain to wake me up."

Y/N was laughing in between her words and wasn't reading it correctly.

Nonetheless, the crews and guests who attended their 'wedding' had a good time.

"As a result, Karina Aespa, also known as Yoo Jimin, the most beautiful woman I know, I adore you, teeth or no teeth."

Y/N laughed, raising her head to face the people who stood before her while laughing "Who in the world wrote this? This is ridiculous!" the girl said, still can't contain her laughter.

Her vows, which were filled with absurdity and strange things, ended there.

Jimin was giggling along with everyone else at the vows, and she also questioned the writers' motives.

To the wedding speech, everyone clapped their hands and laughed together.

It's now Jimin's turn to read her marriage vows.

She gave a little chuckle and cleared her throat before glancing at the paper in her hand. "Well..." she said quietly, clearing her throat.

"Jang Y/N, my wife. Throughout this show, I hope to learn to love you and to get to know you better. Inside and out, honestly."

The little smile that had been on her face had vanished, but it wasn't because of anything bad; rather, reading it had brought her a little comfort.

A slight sense of relief could be felt as a safe and comforting sensation left her chest.

She grinned once more. "I promise to laugh at your jokes, even if they are dad jokes, because I really do love and like you."

Jimin's stomach was churning with butterflies.

"Let's stay together for as long as possible, I like you," her vows concluded.

Each of their hands was still tenuously clinging on when their eyes met, and they both smiled pleasantly in each other's direction.

"COME ON KISS!" Members of Y/N's group shouted from her seat.

The request caused the two to immediately tilt their heads in the direction of the screaming while widening their eyes.

"How?!" Jimin mouthed in a shouting manner to her wife.

With an anxious expression, Y/N hastily shrugged her shoulders.

The shoot was stopped by the director, who then approached the newlyweds.

"Yes, yes, do the kiss!" he said, waving his hand invitingly.

He wanted the couple to kiss, as is customary for married couples.

The pair exchanged frightened glances as they both nodded slowly. "Okay." Y/N said flatly.

Y/N initiated but stopped in the midst because she was absolutely dying within.

Their lips were so close, and their half-lidded eyes were being captured on cameras.

Everyone was cheering and anticipating their kisses.

Jimin has gone insane because she can't think of anything.

Y/N moved her gaze down to Jimin's lip, then to her right cheek.

She pecked it quickly and turned her face away from the camera, becoming shy.

Jimin's eyes grew wider as a result of the peck; okay, it wasn't with the lips, but the cheek alone was enough to catch her off guard.

The tension between them increased once more, becoming somewhat thicker.

Y/N cleared her throat while the person who had been pecked was still looking aside.

How will their photo shoot go now that they've just kissed?

Funny BGM 6

The so-called newlyweds got ready for their wedding photo session the following day.

It was supposed to be a pre-wed photoshoot but they had to do a post wedding ceremony because of the schedule conflicts.

Aespa was the first to arrive at the studio for the photo shoot, and Jimin's manager is now conversing with the photographer about what should be done for today.

Minjeong declared to her leader, "Even though it's simply a playful marriage, I still want to congratulate you," with a straight expression.

The leader was simply looking at her with what appeared to be a look of incredulity on her face.

Jimin took a deep breath and exhaled heavily. "Oh my—" she was about to curse when she stopped herself.

Aeri entered the room, clutching the knob, "YOO JIMIN, COME OUT, Y/N HAS ARRIVED!" The rapper exclaimed joyfully.

Aeri's loud voice nearly made the leader jump out of her skin, and she turned to face her with an irritated look on her face.

She got up from her chair and groaned loudly before leaving the room with Aeri by her side.

The photographer gathered the couple at the photography location, and the couple stood apart on the white background.

It was quite awkward.

"What kind of photoshoot is this going to be? Is this a boudoir scene?" With an evil grin, the photographer inquired.

Y/N and Jimin arched their brows in response to the photographer's words, unsure what they meant.

The DayDream vocalist moved cautiously towards the photographer. "I'm sorry, what does boudoir mean?" she asked hesitantly.

Before responding, Mr. Director and the photographer exchanged quick glances and chuckles. "Well, boudoir is a photography style featuring intimate, sensual, and occasionally erotic poses as the subject" the photographer explained gradually.

When Jimin heard it, her face went completely rigid with horror, and Y/N's mouth dropped at the explanation.

The thought of it appeared to have traumatised them.

"Is that okay with you, or do you prefer the traditional one?" the photographer inquired.

At the same time that Y/N was glancing at Jimin with wide eyes, Jimin was also peering at Y/N with the same wide eyes.

When their eyes met, they both averted their gazes.

Their faces showed that they were agitated as a result of the sensual photography poses, and Jimin, in particular, was blushing slightly.

Despite the fact that the two men were only kidding around with them about boudoir, the so-called newlyweds reacted in such a way.

Jimin cleared her throat. "No! I propose a regular photoshoot!" She retorted, her words stuttering slightly.

Her suggestion to stick with the conventional was supported by everyone involved in the photo shoot.

That also applied to Y/N.

After retouching their makeup and taking some photographs, the two were discussing with the photographer what kind of poses they will do in the next session.

They were advised to be extremely near, with Jimin being instructed to sit on Y/N's lap as they both faced the camera.

The two were cursing internally as they attempted yet another stance, praying that it would all end sooner.

Y/N sat on the chair, watching Jimin approach her with apprehension.

While everything was solely for work purposes, they had to constantly remind themselves to act professionally.

She tensely adjusted her body position so she wouldn't accidentally drop Jimin afterwards.

Jimin uneasily sat on Y/N's lap, avoiding eye contact and focusing exclusively on the side profile of the younger girl.

Y/N was doing the same thing; she wasn't focusing on Jimin, who had just settled on her lap.

Suddenly, the photographer appeared in front of them, yelling, "Wrap your arms around Y/N!" to give them commands.

"Face one another! Come on, stare at each other intensely!" He exclaimed, cheering on the girls.

He was a girlypop photographer.

Uncountable movements of wide eyes were used today, and Jimin's eyes are now undoubtedly wide.

The Aespa main dancer hesitated to wrap her arms around Y/N's neck and took a slow, careful look at her face as she squirmed uneasily on her lap.

She's beautiful. Jimin had that thought as soon as she approached Y/N's face.

Y/N could feel her heart beating faster as they grew physically impossible closer to one another while facing each other.

Yes, she is very gorgeous. I kid you not. She and I are literally being referred to as our generation's best visuals. She continued to look at Y/N's face as Jimin spoke gravely in her mind.

"Hello there, YN! Look into her eyes!" To get their attention, the photographer yelled.

Y/N hugged Jimin tenderly by the waist and awkwardly nodded as she prepared to stare into her eyes.

Because they had their arms around one another and were looking into each other's eyes, the two were extremely physically near.

Unexpectedly, Jimin's heart was pounding as well, and she felt as though she was a little lost in the gaze of her workmate. At this point, she wished she could pull her gaze away from the person in front of her.

Because of Jimin, Y/N's attention was diverted, and she found herself staring at her beautiful red lips.

The need to kiss Jimin's lips was so intense at this close of a distance, and the proximity of her lips to Jimin's couldn't stop the temptation.

Y/N was clueless that she was quietly sinking into Jimin's lip, while Jimin's arms were still around Y/N's neck, she became aware that YN was slowly leaning in towards her lip. As a result, she started to pull her head back.

"Oh my god!" Jimin backed away from the kiss, disappointing the WGM team.

The first person to leap up from her chair was Y/N, who nearly caused Jimin to fall from her lap before turning to the opposite side with her face flushed.

Mr. Director groaned deeply. "Alright! That's alright! We should finish today and continue in the evening." He shouted out to let everyone know.

As Y/N turned around once more to apologise to Jimin for the rash action, she didn't see her and said, "Huh?" loudly.

It turned out that the Aespa leader hurried up to her dressing room to escape herself from the mental anguish when the director screamed for a wrap-up a few seconds earlier.

Y/N pressed her palm firmly against her mouth and badmouthing herself grumpily for the foolishness she nearly committed.

Jimin was hiding her head in her hands and resting her forehead on the table in her dressing room.

Aeri, Minjeong, and her cherished maknae, Ningning, were silently worried about the leader as they watched her drowned in agony.

They were so close to kissing yesterday, but it didn't happen because Y/N chose to kiss the girl on the cheek out of fear that some people might attack her if she actually kissed Jimin on the lips.

#aespa imagines #aespa karina #aespa x reader #karina #karina aespa #karina imagines #karina x fem reader #karina x reader #aespa fanfic #aespa karina smut #aespa #Spotify

[filthy-mudeoki]

Business proposal 사내맞선

Review and rambles

3. Business Proposal (8/10)

(12 episodes) (2022)

[Ahn Hyo-seop, Kim Se-jeong, Kim Min-kyu, Seol In-ah] 

Synopsis: 

The series follows Shin Ha-ri (Kim Se-jeong) as she goes on another blind date in place of her best friend Jin Young-seo (Seol In-ah). The girls have hatched up a plan in which Shin Ha-ri goes on blind dates that Young -seo’s father sets up for her in order to get rejected by them. She does this by going all out crazy on these poor dates. However this plan goes horribly wrong when the latest blind date is Kang Tae-moo (Ahn Hyo-seop), who turns out to be Shin Har-ri’s boss. Kang Tae-moo is being pressured into getting married and despite Shin Ha-ri’s best attempts to get him to reject her, he decides to marry his blind date so he can avoid going on further dates. Chaos and comedy ensues as, Kang Tae-moo and Shin Ha-ri (using a fake identity) begin dating. It all comes to a head when Kang Tae-moo finally discover who she is but its almost too late and he is already very much in love with her. 

Review: 

The relationship between the best friends in this show is so wholesome. They’re funny and messy and so chaotic it’s absolutely relatable. Shin Ha-ri and Young-seo are absolute goals. They’re both head strong women trying so hard to be independent and successful but also secretly wish to be wooed (a secret I think most of us share these days). 

The main couple themselves (Kang Tae Moo and Shin Ha-ri) are so sweet. While Kang Tae Moo might start off as the typical cold-hearted mean spirited boss, it doesn’t last all too long as he opens himself up in a way that is both endearing and funny. The series presents plenty of wonderfully light-hearted moments intermingled with drama. Shin Ha-ri’s family dynamic is realistic and its what makes her so likeable as a main lead. She has an embarrassingly loud but loveable mother and a brother who is simultaneously always there and yet never around when needed. Kim Se – jeong does a remarkable job of portraying Shin Ha-ri, as she is sometimes clumsy and awkward around Kang Tae Moo but somehow it’s never cringey. A defining moment for me in the series was that at some point both female characters found themselves in an embarrassing situation and both male leads stepped up to help without blinking an eye. More over the fact, once it was over, they didn’t speak about it again. They made it so the girls were allowed to keep there dignity. Many shows would not have given them such a courtesy. The show is filled with moments where the characters learn to lean on each other – a particularly endearing episode sees Shin Ha-Ri realising one of Kang Tae Moo’s fears and subtly helping him through it. She’s rather masterful in how she does it and you can’t help but love her for it. It’s sweet and one hell of a green flag moment. 

An important point to note (for me at least), is that unlike in What’s wrong with Secretary Kim, the female lead here does not sacrifice her own ambitions for the male lead. Shin Ha-Ri’s an ambitious and exceptionally smart woman and in both cases (Shin Ha-ri and Jin Young-seo) they follow through with their own goals. It’s hearty and wholesome and a completely perfect comfort show. It does not disappoint in the romance or drama genre. I only wished it was longer. 12 episodes didn’t feel like it was enough for these characters and I would have loved to see more of Shin Ha-Ri and the grandfather bonding towards the end. Another time jump last episode but it wasn’t as painful as you’d think. 

The cast and performance: 

Ahn Hyo-seop and Kim Se-jeong give a brilliant performance as the main leads in this drama. But if you’ve been following this drama you might have heard about the secondary leads, Seol In-ah and Kim Min-kyu who basically steal the show at every turn. The actors delivered so well on the comedy and managed to balance it out well with the romance and drama. It was an all round brilliant performance. 

OST: 

Another great rom-com with an amazing soundtrack to match. 

Final thoughts: 

I personally loved with office romance over What’s wrong with secretary Kim? But that’s my own preference. There is plenty to love in this drama. Its sincere, heartfelt comedy that will melt your heart. It’s got some brilliant characters with great depth and the relationships in this are all top tier. From Shin Ha-ri’s relationships with Young-seo, to that she shares with her family and Kang Tae-moo, it will leave you wanting more. As I said 12 episodes was just not enough. 

#business proposal #business proposal kdrama #ahn hyo seop #kim sejeong #seol in ah #kim min kyu #kdrama #kdramadaily #netflix korea #netflix kdrama #kdramas #kdrama review #review and rambles #kang taemoo #shin hari #romance #office romance

[adhdwtf]

u know that tiktok of the girl who hates making a scene so her husband always pretends to propose to her in public to tease her? that’s buck and eddie.

#they are simultaneously this couple and the couple that fake proposes to each other in restaurants to get free food #there’s no in between #buddie #911 on fox #eddie diaz #evan buckley

[sunflowergyeomie]

can you handle it?

sypnosis: jeonghan is a real pain in the ass, we all know that. he always seems to get you to do things you never agreed on doing, you try not to fall for them though. what if one day you accidentally fall into his trap and give in, without knowing at all?

pairing: yoon jeonghan x gn!reader (vagina bearing)

genre: established relationship, fashion design student!au, architect!au, smut (18+ only)

word count: 2.9k

warnings: profanity, m!dom, degradation, lots of cum play, fingering, creampie, unprotected sex, pet names, size kink?? if you squint

a/n: bcos the irl girl version of jeonghan (aka my devil angel twin) @shuajeong told me "there aren't any fics of jeonghan lately", thus ✨this is written purely for you and your pain 😘 i have to say though, this isn't my best work :( i kept going back and forth and i rewrote and changed things at least three times so 😖😖 (i'm lowkey done with it so i'm sorry i tried, i really did) please forgive me.

Challenge?

Oh, it’s a challenge, alright.

Annoyed is what it is, lips pressed tightly together as you sink in the indescribable feeling. That’s what was currently happening seeing how there is a huge load of cum in your panties – an ignorant aftermath of your quickie with Jeonghan this morning before he drove you to class.

He even had the nerve to question how long you could stay like that for the entire day. You took that as him asking for a challenge and having been with you for a while now, Jeonghan knew you were never one to back down from them. Having basked in the afterglow of sex sure made you think anything was possible – or more accurately speaking his dick just made you dumb.

Now that it’s almost noon, you’re absolutely starting to regret the choice you’ve made, especially when you’re sitting halfway through your second lecture for the day, simply feeling that load threatening to spill out from the cotton panel, onto your inner thighs and slowly ooze down your legs.

Multiple calls of your name put a halt to your thoughts. A hand waves across your face while your eyes focus and refocus as the silhouettes come into sight. Your friends, Mingyu and Minghao are both staring at you, confusion etched across their faces, anticipating an answer from a question one of them probably asked. But in all honesty, you couldn’t recall the subject matter, nor did you give a shit about their issues because your main concern at this time is to get the hell out of there. “Oh, huh? Oh yes, sorry, yes, I’ll absolutely do that.”

A little laugh escapes from Mingyu’s lips while Minghao frowns. “I said.. What are you thinking about?” Mingyu asks, “You have a weird look on your face.”

“Are you not feeling well?” Minghao chimes in. “We can take n-“

“I’m fine, guys. Just a little tired,” You brush off, not wanting to go too deep into whatever you were currently feeling. It’s not that the guys weren’t close to you. In fact, they grew to be one of the closest ever since freshman year when all three of you showed up in the same pattern drafting class, wary looks on everybody’s faces in a new environment. Since the fashion department itself is small with only a few hundred students enrolled, it also meant that classes were taken with familiar faces, rarely is there a fashion student you haven’t seen before. Not to mention you were always being grouped in numerous projects and that’s how the three of you came to be. Both of them knew of your relationship with Jeonghan, of course, but there’s just some things that are better off left unsaid even if they are your best friends.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the both of them stealing glances at you every now and then. Even though they didn’t buy your excuse, Mingyu and Minghao knew better than not to bug you about it so throughout the whole three-hour lecture, you could just sense their concern emanating off their bodies. Adding on to your growing anxiety, making you more on edge, terrified that at any moment they would catch a glimpse of whatever dirty secret you were holding in – quite literally. Pulling out your phone, you quickly sent a text.

[12:03 PM]

you: I can’t take this anymore.

hannie: what’s wrong, princess?

You groaned, exasperation coating your breath. Was he playing dumb?

you: you know what I mean, han.

hannie: and what about it?

hannie: if I recall correctly, weren’t you the one who practically begged me to cum inside of you? Was just doing what you asked me to, princess :)

Scoffing in disbelief, you ignore his message, tossing the device straight into your bag, now furious at yourself for agreeing to it.

Stupid dick.

You weren’t even that horny this morning.

The cement walkways on campus greet the three of you as you step through the warm breeze. The sun shining through every leaf on the tall oak trees above you signal the firsts of many beautiful days now that summer is just around the corner. The bright weather is a big contrast to your dampening mood as your feet slowly drag along the blocks, leaving a gap between you and your friends while you try to keep up. You weren’t too keen on walking too fast right now. One wrong shift and you could be at risk of having Jeonghan’s gooey, semi-translucent, and not-so-warm release pooling down from underneath your mound. The two paid no attention to you though, they’re happily chatting about lunch options and the next possible location for studying afterwards. Not that you were going to join them anyways, not until you get the mess in between your legs situated.

“How about donkkaseu?” Mingyu turns around to ask, head whipping back mid-sentence to look at you, only to turn around and see that you’re already gone. His head turns left and right, trying to find you in the crowd of students, squinting his eyes for even a glimpse of your backpack but you’re nowhere to be seen.

“Where’d she go?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Minghao gives him a pointed look. “Jeonghan.” He says bluntly.

Jeonghan works downtown, a full hour away from your university. He was a busy man, well-equipped with knowledge and never failed to take pride in his work, no matter what it was. Your boyfriend was a well-wanted individual – not only with people who desperately wanted to be in his inner circle but also in his field of work with the numerous clients fighting for a slot in his schedule. Jeonghan has never-ending project proposals, spending most of his hours reviewing alterations and redevelopments on his building designs – a perfectionist, you often say or an obsession as others might call it. Knowing how serious his job was to him, you made sure not to meddle in with his profession, seeing how much it irritated him whenever he couldn’t concentrate, but this time was different – and you couldn’t hold yourself back from making the journey. You bow as you greet the secretary at the front desk. She takes one look up from her screen and already knows who you’re here for, immediately telling you of your boyfriend’s whereabouts while you nod back in thankfulness.

Pushing the heavy doors to Jeonghan’s office, the first thing you notice were his eyebrows deeply furrowed upon his face, a definite telltale to the attentiveness of the task in front of him. A few coworkers were surrounding him, each hovered over what seemed to be like another one of his drawing plans. At the click of the doorknob, Jeonghan’s head perked up when he saw you enter. A smile threatens to pull at his lips, but he bites them to prevent the joy from appearing. He’s been waiting for you all day. Having expected you to cave in earlier so he could have an excuse to take a long break. The current deal he was working on was getting to his head even though he’s gone over it a couple times already. He just needs a reset, a breather of some sort, … a release. Jeonghan fakes innocence however when he asks why you’re here. Simultaneously, his brain has already got his fingers wrapped around the string – pulling once, twice, three times, officially starting the internal mischievousness in him. A devious idea accelerating right before your very own eyes.

You furiously start making your way towards him, hair flying in all directions, nostrils flared in annoyance, your cheeks flamed red from built-up anger since the early morning you got to school, and the wrinkle between your eyebrows. You were a hot-tempered mess, you knew that but god, all he could think about was how beautiful you look. The way your eyes are rounded with the curvature of your nose bridge, adding on to the natural tint to your soft lips. Your lips that pout ever so slightly whenever you want something, your lips that taste like a mixture of yourself and that artificial strawberry-flavoured chapstick you apply every morning, your lips he so badly wants to feel against his own.

Your voice cuts through, interrupting his trance. “Excuse me, can I speak to you privately for one second?”

“Of course.” Jeonghan grins, dropping the pen as his hands start pushing his body up from the plush chair, quickly dismissing his staff with a wave of the hand. They take a hint as one by one, each of them starts leaving. He stands up, arms already going around your waist to pull you close, “Hi baby, how was your day?” He asks, head tilting as his hands are already reaching up to run his fingers through your hair.

You open your mouth to spew words, anger bubbling in letters as they boil up to the back of your throat but all of which dies down when the fire is turned off. Blocked off after the door is shut behind the last person when his demeanour takes a turn and switches a whole 180 degrees. His plan finally comes into action as his acting skills gear up. Licking his lips, his hands drop as he takes a step closer to you, hovering over your tiny figure. He’s finally got you where he wanted you in the first place. His eyes peer down from the lenses of his wired glasses, “Don’t you know better than not to interrupt me while I’m working?” He pauses. “What do you think my staff will think if you’re here for too long?” The back of his fingers gently trails down your face, almost feather-like as you try to press your face against his palm, leaning more into his touch.

“Guess you couldn’t keep it in, huh? I always knew you were a little slut.” Jeonghan tsked, “Was my cock not enough that you needed a second filling? It’s only been a few hours, darling.”

He starts walking back to his desk, hands going into his pockets as he leans against the edge. It shouldn’t have intimidated you, the way his eyes bore into yours but you gulped anyways, a feeling of excitement stirring in your lower abdomen as you clenched around nothing. You opened your mouth to retaliate, only for it to be shaped like what seems like a silent ‘o’. One of his eyebrows raise, a silent gesture for you to come.

Out of habit, your legs start moving obediently on their own until they reach the fronts of Jeonghan’s dress shoes. Tracing the outline of his long, toned legs hidden underneath the carob brown material of his trousers, you couldn’t help catching onto the small details of the garment. The modern leg-lines seamed in to elongate his legs, waistband wrapped around his torso showcasing his slim but strong build, the button with its holes as imaginary eyes and a crossed thread disguised as lips silently screaming ‘open me, open me!’.

He grabs your jaw, forcing you to tear your eyes away from his lower half to look at him. “I thought you came here to say something, but I can practically see the drool coming out of your pretty little mouth, staring at my cock.”

“I-“, He spins you around, positions changed now that you’re the one leaning against the desk. Jeonghan dives his head to capture your lips with his. You’re taken by surprise as a gasp escapes from your mouth while he takes that as a chance to deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping past your bottom lip; full of need and desire, desperate to let out his frustrations. All your effort is focused on keeping up, molding your mouths together. Your anger is now replaced with lust. His hands are moving down to grip your ass.

Your breath hitches when his lips start trailing down your jaw, gently nibbling the soft skin on your neck before travelling down the valley of your breasts. He doesn’t bother trying to take off your top, opting to unbutton the first few, just enough to expose your lacy bra. Slipping underneath one cup to carefully knead your honey soft skin before latching his mouth onto your nipple, sucking gently but firmly. You whine as he hoists you up and places you on the surface, his face never detaching from your soft and full chest as he quickly pulls your pants off, leaving you in just your soaked panties.

“Maybe it was a good idea to leave my cum in you,” Jeonghan’s fingers hook onto the waistband. He smirks before pulling them down completely, stopping mid-thigh. “Easier to prepare.”

A trail of your slick follows as his digits spread your pussy, using his middle finger to slowly drag up your wet slit. His other hand is gripping your thigh when he reaches down in between, scooping the leftover cum from the previous session and forcing it back into your pussy. You watch with wide eyes only to have them roll back completely when he finishes by stuffing them all the way into you, resulting in a loud moan.

“P-please”

Jeonghan chuckles, satisfied by your reaction. He had you beckoning at his every move yet you were sure the satisfaction still wasn’t enough for him, not just yet. He pulls his fingers out to strip himself of his own pants, popping his member out. The hand with the fingers that were just inside of you is now rubbing all over his cock, using the little beads of precum along with a bit of your slick to pump himself.

Jeonghan’s cock is pretty, like the boy himself. He’s not too big or too small but he knows his angles and he knows how to use them right. Every time the two of you get intimate, which is quite often, his thrusts are sharp, clean and reach to the most inner parts of you – something that leaves soreness inside of you for days. But that doesn’t seem to matter whenever the two of you are having hot and steamy sex five days out of the seven weekly.

“You better stay fucking quiet.”

One hand is gripping your waist for extra support while the other is slowly guiding his length into you. The growl in his voice sends another wave of arousal between your legs, the wetness starting to spill and gather down your thighs. His eyes diverted down to pay attention to the way his length was disappearing inside of you. Each stroke covering his manhood with even more of your juices.

“F-ffuck, baby.” He curses under his breath. “You’re still so tight.”

His voice was breathy, almost like a whine before he picks up his speed, splitting your folds with a sloppy rhythm, expecting to chase both your highs before his coworkers come barging back in. Although the thought of getting caught in such a compromising position arouses him, Jeonghan couldn’t risk letting anyone seeing you in your most vulnerable state. Not when you have all the right curves, exclusive only for his viewing.

At some point, his hands start pulling you into him to meet his every thrust, your tits bouncing as you start feeling the delicious new angle he’s ruining you from. The tip of his cock rubbing against your cervix with every stretch. The familiar feeling of tension starts to build as your eyes squeeze tighter, your orgasm is approaching faster and faster. You’ve never wanted to scream his name out loud so badly when he slams once, no, twice into you, releasing the coil sending intensifying waves of pleasure throughout your whole body. Your tight heat clenching and unclenching around him causing Jeonghan to groan, “Shit.”

“Cum in me.” You insisted weakly. He gives in as he presses himself balls deep, cock twitching as he unloads inside of you, cum shooting in spurts coating your walls in white. The groan emerging from the back of his throat muffled as he quickly smashes his lips onto yours to conceal it. Your muscles move on your own, hiding your own whimper as your lips move together in unison. His body slumps over yours while he rests his head against your shoulder, pressing a light kiss as a way to say thank you.

In the intimacy of the moment, your arms are thrown around his broad shoulders, subconsciously pulling him closer as the two of you try to catch your breaths. When he lifts his head up, his doll eyes are already staring into your glossy ones. A tender smile spreading across his face, pecking your lips one more time before he slowly pulls out. Straight away, the emptiness is evident as his warmth disappears, your hole gaping while he looks down to appreciate the work done on your ruined pussy.

You feel your panties being pulled back up, now snug on your hips as he lets go of the elastic waistband to hear it snap back on your skin.

“Guess you have two loads to keep in now.” A devilish look covering every inch of his handsome face.

“Jeonghan!” you lunged at him. He cackles maniacally, successfully dodging while you attempt to jump on his back. The blood in your veins starts boiling again, both hands reaching up to cover your face when you realize your mistake for the second time today.

Jeonghan’s dick really did make you dumb.

#seventeen fanfic #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #yoon jeonghan x reader #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan smut #jeonghan imagine #jeonghan scenarios #jeonghan imagines #yoon jeonghan smut #yoon jeonghan #yoon jeonghan one shot #jeonghan one shots #svt jeonghan

[laheysdork]

hc for mitch rapp proposing please!! thank you!

hiii anon thank you for requesting!!!

when you first meet mitch, you feel intimidated

he seems like the type of person you don't want to be around with

he's sulky, grumpy and a little rude

and when you try to get a conversation going, he retracts himself and even ignores you

you don't hate him but you can't find anything pleasant either

but you have to stick around him for your work's sake

after numerous missions, you slowly start to see mitch under a different light

he may have tried to hide it, but he’s actually caring and protective

and you admire that side of him

mitch on the other hand finds you appealing

there’s something about you that makes him want to know you deeper

one day, mitch approaches you out of nowhere

you are kind of taken aback since he has never talked to you or anyone other than stan and irene before

he only asks simple questions regarding the mission and you answer them briefly

that day seems to jumpstart everything

you guys suddenly get paired up a lot

and if you guys are not, you guys still manage to bump into each other somehow

one thing leads to another, the next thing you know, you guys are having a hot makeout session right after a mission

mitch is a pretty confusing person

he doesn’t want to date you which of course is a dick move

but the reason behind him being a jerk is because of katrina and what happened to her

he loves you and cares about you too much than he’d like

and the idea of you getting hurt terrifies him

after thinking about it for nights, he finally gives in to his feelings

dating him is a dream come true

but it also comes with some setbacks

you guys quarrel a lot because of both of your striking personalities

but at the end of the day, both of you can’t stand being away from each other

the moment mitch realizes he wants to marry you is when he has a nightmare about you dying the way katrina did

he wakes up in cold sweat, screaming, and you immediately embrace him right away and whispers reassuring words

the night he’s planning to propose, he took you out to a park at night

but it is not any random parks, it is the park where you and mitch had one of your undercover mission together

the two of you had to act like a happy couple while simultaneously stalking the target

“remember when we first came here? we were fake-dating. you insisted that we should get ice creams and actually have fun even though it wasn’t real. and look at us now, in the same spot from years ago, actually together.”

you smile at him, standing under one of the street lamps, the park empty at night

“y/n, i love you so much, you know that right? and i don’t want to be alone anymore.”

he fishes out and opens the box, revealing the ring inside to you

you may not understand why he was being so sentimental before but now you finally get it

“will you marry me?”

you’re glad the park is empty because you are bawling your eyes out

“you can cry as much as you want later but please answer me now, y/n, i’m waiting.”

and of course, your answer is yes

the rest of the night is just self explanatory or in another word nsfw

#sleepover: 500 followers #dylan o’brien #dylan o’brien imagine #dylan o’brien x reader #dylan o’brien au #mitch rapp #mitch rapp imagine #mitch rapp x reader

[noreasonjustbored]

Fall In Fake Love With Me

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

As soon as they entered the courtyard with interlocked fingers, their classmates started whispering furiously.

“I knew I would regret this” Charlotte says as she and Henry walk into the school hand in hand.

Well this will be all over campus in seconds. Charlotte thought exasperatedly.

“Lighten up Char, you gotta live a little.”

“I’m as light as I can get right now Henry.” Char grumbles.

Henry picks up Charlotte unexpectedly causing her to let out a small squeal.

“I don’t know, you feel kind of heavy to me” he jokes.

Charlotte scoffs in annoyance and rolls her eyes, “Put me down.”

“What was that? Hm? Take you to your locker? Okay BABE.”

As Henry walked towards their lockers carrying Charlotte, several of their classmates congratulated them on their relationship and told them that they made a cute couple. Charlotte thinks that she even saw Dylan from yearbook snap a photo of them. 

Upon arrival, Henry places Charlotte back on her feet.

“Gosh, you are so annoying” she gripes.

Before Henry could reply Oliver and Sidney walked up to them while bickering.

“Well you owe me twenty bucks” said Oliver.

“Not until we know for sure” Sidney replies.

“You said during summer break. We are clearly back at school, which means that I won.”

“Yeah but we don’t know if they originally got together in the summer but are just now showcasing it.”

“Whatever, let’s find out.”

“Hey Charlotte, Henry. How are you guys doing today?” Sidney asks politely.

“Ugh cut to the chase dude.” Oliver turned to the couple. “So when did this happen?” he asks as he makes vague a hand gesture in front of them.

Charlotte and Henry glanced at each other and proceeded to have a conversation through eye contact and eyebrow raises.

“See! They definitely got together during summer. They’re doing the whole couple silent communication thing!” Sidney exclaims.

“They could do that before! They were weirdly close.” Oliver counters.

“Oh yeah, that’s true. What if they’ve been dating for years?”

“What if they are actually engaged and are just now deciding to let the world know?”

“Charlotte does have a band on her left ring finger.”

Charlotte twists the invisibility ring off and transfers it to her right hand.

“Why did she just move the ring? Oh. My. God. What if they are already MARRIED?”

“Why weren’t we invited to the wedding?” Sidney and Oliver ask simultaneously.

“Wow that spiraled SO fast.” Henry says.

“Guys! Guys! Calm down. Number One, you weren’t invited to the wedding because there WAS no wedding and Number Two, we started dating this summer.”

“I told ya! Pay up buddy” Sidney triumphantly exclaims to Oliver.

Oliver groaned while pulling out his wallet as they walk away.

“Wow, those guys are something else.” Henry states with a chuckle.

“Ugh I know, and class hasn’t even started yet.” Charlotte said while leaning her forehead on her locker.

“Hey, look at me.” Henry prodded while grabbing her hand to turn her in his direction and gently lifted her chin with his index finger. “We got this ok? It’s the same old me and you, just slightly more touchy feely. Easy.”

“Yeah easy for you to say, I’ve never had a real boyfriend remember? And physical touch is NOT my love language.” Char responded.

He placed both his hands on her shoulders while bending down slightly to at look from under his lashes. “That’s why you have me. Just follow my lead and you’ll be fine.”

Charlotte snorted, “Well that’s new.”

“What?”

“Me following your lead. You usually follow mine.”

“True, but this time I’m the expert.            

“Okay EXPERT, what are our next steps?”

“Uhhhhhhhhh…….” Henry stammers while opening his locker.

“And this is why you usually follow my lead” she mumbles under her breath.

“Walk me to class” Charlotte says while strutting away.

“Yeah, sure” he stated as he got his last book from his locker and turned around to see his friend halfway down the hall.

“Char, wait up! Babe! Babe!” Henry yells while chasing after her.

Everyone had believed their act with no problem. Jasper even told them that it was only a “matter of time” before they got back together. Several classmates had also told them that they had been “shipping it” for years.

Henry had been walking Charlotte to class all week long. Which in itself wasn’t unusual but now they were either holding hands or touching in some way.

Everthing had been going according to plan and now it was Friday night and the pair had just arrived to the football game at their school.

“Alright, so you know the plan?” Henry asks Charlotte before they get out of his car.

“Yep, we go into this football game and act like a couple directly in front of Bianca. Simple enough.”

“Perfect, let’s go.”

As they walked towards the entrance Henry slung his arm over Charlotte’s shoulder because he saw the cheerleaders headed out of the locker room.

She looked up at him curiously and he just tilted his head in their direction. Subtly looking over her shoulder she spotted Bianca who had also saw them and was making her way over.

“Hi Henry.”

“Heeyyyy Bianca, funny seeing you here.”

“I cheer now so I’m at all the games.”

“Really? I didn’t know!” Henry states in a high tone of voice.

Charlotte elbows him in the stomach and he clears his throat. “That’s cool.”

“Yeah… it is” she responds, eyeing him curiously. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Well since it’s the Regional Championship, I convinced Charlotte to come show some school spirit with me for once.”

“It’s the biggest home game we’ll have this year so I decided to support. Plus I just can’t say no to my...love muffin here” Charlotte says while internally cringing.

“How cute.” Bianca stated sarcastically. “So Henry, after the game a bunch of us are going to Mastro’s for pizza. Then after we’re gonna go to Chase’s house for a kickback. You’re welcome to come.”

“Well Char and I already have dinner plans but we might stop through Chase’s for a bit.” Henry countered.

“Oh it looks like your friends are calling you Bianca” Charlotte points out.

Bianca looks behind her to see her fellow cheerleaders gesturing for her to come on.

“Right. See you later?” she asks Henry.

“Maybe” he replies.

“Break a leg!” Charlotte says and gives her a fluttering wave in dismissal as she connects her hand with Henry’s that is still dangling over her shoulder.

Bianca tracks the movement with her eyes before giving a closed mouth smile and jogging back over to her friends.

Henry and Charlotte decided to find seats in the bleachers directly in front of where the cheerleaders were set up. They could feel Bianca’s eyes on them almost constantly. She was staring them down, so the pressure was on to be a convincing couple.

Throughout the entire football game, Charlotte was putting forth great effort to be more comfortable with the new physical aspect of their friendship. Henry would perform small gestures to keep up the act. She tried not to flinch.

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, he warmed up her cold hands between his and he even whispered in her ear occasionally. He was just telling her about what was happening in the football game but Bianca didn’t know that.

Henry had his arm over Charlotte’s shoulder and she was leaning into his side pretty much all night. Although Henry wasn’t sure if it was for pretenses or if it was because it was cold outside.

When Char felt Bianca’s gaze on them for a particularly long moment towards the end of the game, she built up the confidence to give Henry a lingering kiss on the cheek. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Bianca cross her arms over her chest in response.

She makes it too easy. Charlotte thought as she snickered under her breath.

After the game they were exiting the bleachers and walking back to Henry’s car. Their football team had won the game so the two decided that going to the party later would be a good idea to get more exposure for their “relationship”.

“Wow that was great! She looked so angry after that kiss! And you said that touch wasn’t your love language” Henry bumps her shoulder with his playfully as they walk through the gate.

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Granted, it was still uncomfortable but I’m a fast learner. I’ll get used to it.”

Reaching Henry’s car he goes to the passenger door to open it for Charlotte. Before she could enter, he lightly grabs her hand and says, “Maybe you just need to practice?”

“Practice? How do you propose we do that?”

Dropping her hand, he steps into the enclosed space between her body and the open car door. “I just mean, maybe you need more experience with the closeness so you don’t feel so awkward.”

“I think I’m doing okay”

“Really?” Henry says while placing both his hands on either side of her head and stepping even closer. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure” Charlotte squeaks out before ducking under his arm and getting in the car. He chuckles and closes her door before walking around to his side.

This is going to be a long night. Henry thought to himself.

#Chenry #Charlotte Page #Henry Hart #Charlotte Bolton #Kid Danger #Jasper Dunlop #Bianca #Nickelodeon #Riele Downs #Jace Norman #Maeve Tomalty #Henry Danger #Henlotte #FIFLWM

[likeshipsonthesea]

post- breakup kisses for holsom? (or any other pairing) :)

sooo this is super late and really not what you asked for bc i suck at break-up fics, but here, enjoy this weird kind-of-funny-but-probably-just-written-v-late-at-night-so-i-think-it’s-funny ficlet about a wedding and a break-up and a totally cool organizational interlude…

from this prompt list, i give y’all a holsom post-break up kiss fic.

         “Hey,bud,” Lardo says, not-quite-frowning as she holds out a bottle. “How’s it goingover here?”

         Ransomfrowns back at her, but does take the bottle. He’s been wanting another beer,but not enough to leave his designated corner. “Fine,” he says, in the hopesthat it will make the Look go away, but if anything, Lardo’s eyes hardenfurther and her lips purse with more intensity.

         “Areyou sure you don’t want to go categorize the presents or something?” Sheadjusts the neckline of her strapless dress. “It’d be a big help,” she adds,like she needs to sell organization to Ransom.

         Thething is, though, the selling is not completely unwarranted. Ransom has beenmaking himself almost impossible to soothe. To any outside perspective, he’ssure it would seem real annoying, cumbersome to the point of rudeness, really.But an outside perspective probably wouldn’t note how, ever since Ransom andHolster broke the news of their break-up, Shitty and Lardo have stoppedstressing over the many confusing and frustrating details of their impendingwedding in favor of stressing over Ransom’s broken heart.

         “Alright,”Ransom says, because the wedding is very close—the ceremony occurring inapproximately one hour and twenty-two minutes. Which means, aside from the factthat two of his best bros are pledging to be bros for life in the mostkick-ass-ingest wedding ceremony/reception in the history of parties,that soon Ransom will not have to see Holster from across the room at planningmeetings ever again. So he can maybe, now, afford to be easier to deal with.

         Lardosmiles, though it’s still a little smothered in the corners, and is quicklycalled away to deal with something involving the florist. Ransom puts down hisnew beer and escapes to the room where the presents are currently being kept.

         Itisn’t a large room, but it’s pretty well filled up, what with Shitty’sridiculous number of relatives with even more ridiculous names and basicallythe entirety of Shitty’s and Lardo’s graduating classes at Samwell in attendance—whichis to say, lots of money going around. Shitty and Lardo planned their registry well.

         “Organization”is Ransom’s specialty, so even without a list he begins sorting the presents.It’s actually quite fun—guessing which weird preppy name is Samwell alumni orKnight relative, creating sub-sections for fun wrapping paper and ridiculouslysized boxes, both large and small. After a handful of minutes, he decides tomake it extra fun and pulls out his phone, swiping to the Google Sheetapp on his phone, and that is when the door is opened.

         Holsterblinks, wide-eyed, when he stumbles into the present room only to find Ransommostly obstructing his way. “Oh,” he says. “Hi.”

         Ransomrolls his eyes and, without a moment’s pause, pushes Holster back against the now-closeddoor and kisses the living daylights out of him. Holster huffs a laugh, warmand damp against Ransom’s insistent mouth. His hands—big palms, longpiano-playing fingers—come up to curl around Ransom’s biceps, somehow bothpulling him closer and pushing him away. His lips slow out of their smile untilthe kiss goes melty, languid, heavy. Ransom sighs at the syrup sweetnessand it pulls their mouths apart, but he rests his forehead against Holster’s,not caring particularly for personal space at this moment.

         “Someonemissed me,” Holster says, the grin audible in his voice. Ransom pinches hisside and Holster squeaks, ticklish.

         “Shutup,” Ransom mumbles against his chin. “I did miss you.”

         Holster’shands—previously on his arms—snake around his middle, latching together at thesmall of Ransom’s back. He tugs, once, and presses them together. “Missed youtoo,” he says. “This sucked.”

         Ransomhums in agreement. “Let’s never break up again,” he says, pouting.

         Holstergrins against his cheek. “You proposing to me, bro?”

         “No.Not now, anyway.” Ransom pulls back to look Holster in his stupid blue eyes. “I’mnot going to throw away all my planning just because you look good in a suit,dude.”

         “Ilook great in a suit,” Holster corrects, and tugs Ransom impossiblycloser. He leers exaggeratedly. “And so do you.”

         Ransomsquints. “Are you thinking of having sex in Lardo and Shitty’s wedding giftroom?”

         Holsterblanks, hesitant. “Uh, yeah?”

         “Sweet,me too.”

         Now,maybe someone could judge them for getting it on when two of their best broswere having the biggest moment of their life in like an hour, but here’s thething. He and Holster have been “broken up” for the better part of two monthsnow. They’ve had scant few moments to get it on, what with Ransom living withthe soon-to-be-happy-couple to make the break up seem real and, simultaneously,distract them even more from the stress of wedding planning—which had been thewhole reason for the fake break-up in the first place.

         Lardoand Shitty love each, no doubt, but when they got engaged and Shitty’sgrandparents and Lardo’s mother got involved, it turned into this wholeclusterfuck of an event that had both of them threatening to elope every otherday. In the long-term, not great for their marital bliss. So Ransom andHolster, like the great bros they are, manufactured a different, more pressingproblem for the group to deal with to take some of the heat off the weddingthing. And it worked, beautifully if Ransom may brag a little. Lardo and Shittywere so preoccupied with making sure he was okay that they haven’t threatenedto elope in weeks and they’ve actually been able to enjoy the lead-up totheir wedding instead of stress (… well, when they weren’t comforting theirfriend in the fake worst moment of his life, but eggs and omelets and allthat).

         SoRansom thinks he deserves a little action from his best bro after basicallysaving his other bros from angering both of their families forever andgiving them a kick-ass wedding day. Any heartache they may or may not havefaked/caused will all be fixed after the wedding when they explain everythingto the group and they’ll all be able to drink and laugh over the whole thing.

         Besides,Ransom thinks, as Holster begins to make his way down Ransom’s neck, make-upsex is the best. Who could begrudge him that?

         …

         (So.Things don’t go quite to plan. Mostly because Jack and Bits come lookingfor a good place to canoodle, stumble upon Ransom and Holster making up,and the truth comes out a little earlier than expected.

Acrossthe heads of their arguing friend group, Holster sends Ransom a wink, andRansom grins. He holds out a fist for Holster to bump and he can tell, as theirknuckles brush, that they’re both thinking the same thing. Totally worth it.)

#holsom #check please #holster #ransom #justin oluransi #adam birkholtz #it's happy i promise #i'm like literally incapable of writing break up fics #my writing #sort of fic #ficlet #before you ask #no i didn't read this back after i wrote it #it's 1 am #i am tired #i wrote half of this with a cat in my lap/on my left hand #so if there is a typo #accept it as part of the Art #thank you #and goodnight

[jacobsiman-blog]

Yahoo Help Guide

Not with standing its undertakings to fix vulnerabilities, Yahoo's Mail customers continue posting hacking events ...

Yahoo Mail customers have been seeing their records broken into for a wide timespan. While Yahoo says it has completed at any rate two separate security openings instigating records getting seized, it shows up the issue pushes ahead. contact yahoo support

It's dull to what degree these ambushes have been proceeding for, paying little notification to we did from the most short Yahoo Helpline starting stage report Yahoo Mail customers were seeing their records exchanged off back close to the start of January. We're in a short timeframe period length in Spring, and irrefutably Yahoo paying little brain to everything has a true issue on its hands.

Vindicating how we are starting at beginning late getting reports from express Yahoo customers about their records getting hacked, notwithstanding we are seeing spikes in striking time gridlock from Google to our past stories. We see these snaps address a move in customers understanding their inboxes have been seized in the wake of programming engineers pass on an epic level of messages from starting late undermined accounts.

Ambushes commonly comprise of Yahoo customers bearing an email from a companion or accomplice (and, considering, a general dull social affair) containing an understanding that at whatever point tapped on, comprehends the record being seized. Some express their comprehended records send messages to pick individuals, others report they get sent to the aggregate of their contacts, and one even saw that they went out to "anyone I had ever gotten what's enduringly settled a relationship with.

We asked the customers who related with us in case they got such an email and tapped on the association. Reports were mixed: some said they got an email and tapped the association, some said they got the email yet didn't snap, and others said they never got such an email.

Among those that tapped on a relationship, notwithstanding, there was at any rate one point of view that starting late seems to perceive: the aggressors have clearly been referencing a non-existent MSNBC news report in the email. The bit.ly URL that is obliged (we're not accomplice it here for clear reasons) combines a fake MSNBC page that purportedly gets your Yahoo Mail account quickly if you are wandered in.Contact yahoo support

At any rate many interest they never got such an email or snap on such an intrigue: their records were on an essential level got away from no spot. These individuals for the most part found a couple of structures concerning the event from contacts who got rot messages from them.

Coming up next are three decisions from what Yahoo customers have been setting us up concerning these ambushes. The standard beginnings from a Yahoo customer who is really an indisputably supervisor comprehension:

We were hacked close to the completion of January. They spammed everyone in the "contact" facilitator and butchered all the contacts. We from a general perspective had another yahoo account hacked yesterday. Pardoning the way that it spammed the entire "contact" facilitator, paying little heed to we can't pass on messages or access our "puzzle question" to change the issue verbalization.

There was a cost free number to call and when we did so we exchanged words with people who talked poor English, and they referenced a one time charge of $100 for help with the issue. Unequivocally when we declined they hung up on us. We called the number twice, the huge event when we exchanged words with a woman and the second time we called we conversed with a man. The on different occasions we called when we exonerated the bit of $100 we were hung up on.

Most would concur that this number being proposed doesn't have a spot with Yahoo. These are swindlers endeavoring to get a piece pack taking into account a record they have undermined.

Another story begins from a Yahoo customer who needs to simply be known as someone in yahoo support

Considering, my yahoo account is a fake record. Hooray has my space for another email address and I never send/get using the yahoo email address. That is the explanation I feel so sure that the hack expected to have been on the yahoo-side. In like manner, the spam that went out was to people who had sent messages to my enabled space name – not the yahoo account (paying little caution to the way that the message they got was FROM my yahoo account).contact-yahoo-support.

so whatever the hack was, they had the choice to interface the phony yahoo record to the kept up space account. I know this since express recipients were people that were not in my general zone book and wouldn't have even idea concerning the yahoo record to ever have sent anything to the yahoo account. Their single alliance was messages in the space busy with box. Other clarification I see that it's not fixed (and not just me) is that the spam channel for this record (my work email) found an okay pace yahoo spams like mine simultaneously. They were – like the condition in mine-from people who no shortcoming had an email from me in their in encase offering little appreciation to how I wasn't their zone book.

This is one of various records we have seen that show those behind these ambushes are using held records to vivaciously spam others. This is one motivation driving why this fight is advancing and doesn't show up comparably as it will dial down at whatever point sooner rather than later. The best framework to Contact yahoo supportHttps://mckarma.com/contact-yahoo-support/.

A Canadian in like manner had a comparative story to tell:

My yahoo.ca email account was undermined the earlier night and a comparable spam email, something to do with working at home for bewildering money, was sent to the whole of my contacts. Fortunately the record list that was added to this email address was multi year old (it has now been tended to) and a monstrous zone of the messages returned as undeliverable. I other than got a comparable spam message seven days sooner from a companion who sent it from her yahoo.ca account.

My Yahoo email account was set up during pre-BlackBerry days to recoup messages remotely from other mail servers and is on a key level used nowadays to follow degrees of progress from e-retailers and to get notice of updates from programming providers and clear unessential stars who require their clients to pick to find a standard pace. It has been related idly to phones for by a wide edge a gigantic bit of 10 years and I set apart on yesterday to pound the old contact list and to change puzzle express staggering for unequivocal years. As the record is been completely spamless and requires no affiliation effort in any capacity utilizing any techniques, I will continue using it as an electronic letter box.

For reference, here's the timetable of events up until today:

On January 7, a lone fashioner by the name of Shahin Ramezany moved a video to YouTube referencing that the best way control direct course of action a Yahoo account by using a DOM-based cross-site scripting (XSS) shortcoming exploitable in each and every epic program. That day, Yahoo came back to TNW with two clarifications, first saying it was seeing what's additionally supporting it fixed the distortion.

On January 8, controllers from Revoking Security let TNW study that they had discovered that the shortcoming is starting in the for the most part progressing past present, showing a workaround indicating they can at present undertaking the mutilation being proposed.

On January 11, Yahoo gave a third explanation to TNW: "The cross-site scripting shortcoming that we saw on Friday was fixed that day. We can request that we've finally fixed the nonattendance of security on all combinations of the site." Contact yahoo support

On January 28 and January 30, two Yahoo customers came to TNW to communicate their record was undermined by systems for what they saw was a comparable way that was delineated in our past articles.

On January 31, we found a story concerning a known mutilation in the SWF Uploader part of Yahoo's modeler blog as raised by Bitdefender Labs. Yippee says it fixed this imperfection and proposed impacted customers change their passwords.we are yahoo partner with client care.

On February 25, February 27, Walk 1, and Walk 4 we got more messages from Yahoo customers saying their records had been undermined.

We appeared at Yahoo about this issue at any rate the course of action everything contemplated turned its past position. "The XSS absconds offered an explanation to Yahoo! have been fixed and we keep on agreeably look at reports of any email accounts exhibiting atypical lead," a Yahoo delegate told TNW. "We're made on guaranteeing our customers and their data. We truly request that our customers change their passwords every once in a while and to use uncommon, alphanumeric passwords for each online webpage page they visit."

Yahoo is the third most clear email provider after Microsoft and Google. Regardless of whether the imperfections haven't been fixed properly or if these are new curves, it's in a general sense denied for Yahoo Mail customers to have their records commandeered so reasonably and for Yahoo to remain yielded for so long. The affiliation needs to accomplish more. a minor piece at a time going to Contact yahoo support

See other than – Yahoo Mail customers clearly given HTTPS security decision after weight from insistence advocates.

[bennguinfest]

Spring 2019 Fan Fest Prompt List

Hey fan-festers! 

We’re happy to say that we received 81 prompts this time around, and we spent the last few days distilling all those amazing and creative prompts down to a list of 63 prompts! (If you’re keeping count, that’s far more than last year’s 48!) 

As with last year, we had some repeat prompts and prompts that were similar enough that it made sense to condense them under one item. Additionally, most of the prompts we distilled down to a few words for the sake of having a concise list! Again, like last year’s fest, we’re providing the full text of the original prompts under the cut, in case you’re looking for more details to get started!

You’re free to create any kind of fanwork based on the below prompts! There’s no minimum word count and no rules on what to create, or even how many - if you want to combine prompts, that’s cool! If you’re called to make more than one thing, that’s awesome too! The only limit is that this fest runs from now until April 15th - so if you’re creating something, make sure you post it and tag it with #bennguinfanfest so we can share it to this tumblr! If you’re posting to AO3, the collection is now open for submissions as well, so make sure to include your work there so everyone can find it!

One final thing: even if you didn’t submit prompts, feel free to participate and join us on the discord! We’ve set up a discord server here: bennguinfest on discord to stay connected, inspire each other, and have fun! It’s a great group and really active, so don’t be shy!

That’s it! On to the prompt list!

Matchmaking dogs

Space AU

Birthday gifts

Coming out/being together in the NHL

Acting like a couple (but they’re not actually a couple)

Tyler as a WAG

Transported to a parallel universe

Abducted by aliens

Superhero/Superpowers AU

Amnesia from an injury

Soulmate AUs: Color-based, name-on-wrist

Thirst follow/Met online

Drag AU

Time loops

Alternate histories

Cop AU

Reality show AU (Survivor, the Bachelor, Married At First Sight)

Jamie Poppins/Single dad AU

Supernatural races (vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters, etc.)

Omegaverse: Courting

Delivery boy/Uber driver AU

Tyler gets traded back to Boston

Breaking up & making up

Omegaverse: Bonding drama

Boring office desk job

Road trips

Protective Jamie defending Tyler

College/University AU

Tyler tries to be Jamie’s wingman

Lites’s comments affecting the boys

Taking care of a sick hockey player

Cuddle pile/team bed fic

Harry Potter AU

Fire alarm meet-cute

DnD/Hockey Mashup

De-aged after a fight

Bakery/Tattoo Artist AU

Friends with benefits - and then with feelings

Zombie AU

Homeless AU

Nerds are hot/competency kink

Omegaverse: scents

YouTube channel AU

Bridal shop meet-cute

Beard appreciation

Tornado warning

Figure skater mpreg

Self-conscious Jamie

Wing!fic

Winning the cup and a kiss on the ice

Lifeguard AU

Haunted farm

Animal daemons

Surprise/sudden parenting

Jealousy from dating/flirting with someone else

Secret relationship and almost getting caught

Long-lost childhood friends

"Come here."

“Close the door.”

“I feel like I can’t breathe.”

“It’s three in the morning and you want me to do what?”

“You could’ve died.”

“I thought you were dead.

Full text of the prompts under the link! If you have any questions, feel free to send us an ask - and as always, happy creating! 

1. Matchmaking dogs: Tyler’s dogs want to get their human with a certain cow-eyed captain

“well this is really awkward considering the last time we saw each other, i was screaming at you to never talk to me again, but like, my dog recognized you all the way across the park and literally dragged me over here because she misses you so hi” AU

2. Space AU (ex. Star Trek, Firefly, or something else entirely)

3. It's Tyler's birthday and at first Jamie gives off the feeling that he's forgotten and this hurts Tyler but it turns out that that Jamie wakes Tyler up at midnight on his birthday with two tickets to an offseason trip

4. I want a fic that REALLY captures what it would be like if two NHL players were to come out in 2019. I'm talking teammate reactions, press reactions, social media, family, the whole shebang. I wanna see the real raw reactions and the struggle the guys would have to go through. I would also loooove if you could fit Jamie proposing to Tyler in there somewhere but it isn't a necessity.

Jamie has a hard time dealing with how public Tyler’s life is, with the insta stories and with random people filming him all the time. It feels like it’s only a matter of time before their relationship is exposed because of how much Tyler is in the public eye. Jamie doesn’t want to break up but it seems like that’s the only choice he has. He doesn’t want to do this so much that he calls a press conference and comes out of the closet.

Jamie and Tyler have been dating since 2014 and he’s tired of hiding it. So with Jamie’s consent he posts a cute photo of them being a couple and writes a heartfelt monologue about their story. And the whole hockey community blows up about it. And it’s kinda about how they deal with being and out couple and Tyler posting obnoxiously cute couple photos on his Instagram. Sorry this prompted is a mess I just want Tyler to be a troll and post cute cliche couple photos on Instagram of him and Jamie and the world loading their minds about it.

Jamie and Tyler come out to the team about them dating. Management wants to keep their relationship secret so they make Jamie fake date someone. And him and Tyler struggle with the stress that puts on them.

realistic consequences of being together with the team

5. Tyler and Jamie are super close but super oblivious to the fact that they act like a literal couple. Jamie has a gf and she hates the fact that it seems like Jamie cares more about Tyler than he does her.

6. Fluffy fic where Jamie still plays hockey, he meets tyler and they fall in love and tyler becomes an nhl wife/husband/boyfriend.

7. Parallel universes -- somehow Tyler (or Jamie) finds himself in an alternate universe where his life is radically different (for better or for worse) which makes him realize how much his relationship to Jamie (or Tyler) means.

waking up in the future/alternate reality fic

8. Jamie and Tyler are abducted by aliens and taken to a faraway planet where they are prisoners in a bizarro planet. Is it real or is it a nightmare though?

9. jamie and tyler are in danger and major trouble when their identities as superheroes are revealed and bad guys are after them.

powers/mutant AU (as in pick one, not all at the same time) One hides their ability from the other, and when the other finds out, its...not good

Superhero AU! Are they superhero partners? Is one of them a superhero and can't date the other because he has to keep him safe? Are they both trying to keep their secret identities secret from each other while simultaneously dating in both iterations? Up to you, or anything else!

10. Amnesia angst for the win - Jamie gets a particularly hard hit, wakes up and can remember everyone except for tyler (maybe not explicitly, say they can *remember* them, but not remember that they've been dating for eight months now) cue tyler avoiding jamie because its too hard him to be around him

11. soulmate au! people are born with blackmarks - on their hands, their faces, their skin in general - the black marks is the first place their soulmate would touch them. Jamie was born without a mark. Tyler was born with two pitch black palms. Years after tylers been traded to the stars, Jamie falls asleep, and tyler can't help but run his fingers through Jamie's hair, just once, and then he looks down at his hand and the tips of his fingers are colored, and so are the few strands of Jamie's black hair.

Soulmate au- either abo or name on wrist. No drama, just fluff!

12. Tyler thirst follows Jamie on insta. This can be hockey or non-hockey, but Jamie follows back and they start talking.

13. Rupaul’s Drag Race au. Tyler and Jamie are competing against each other but are constantly talking about how much they like each other/are attracted to each other in the confessional. They’re both single, so why not go for it? Alternatively, one is a queen and the other is a member of the pit crew.

14. groundhog day au (aka, tylers/jamies day keeps getting reset, again and again until they get together finally and wake up the next day)

15. alternate history, tyler is never traded to dallas, but they still somehow meet and fall in love anyway

16. cop AU, where in tyler the rookie transfers and get stuck with Jamie the sorta senior to show him the ropes. Jamie gets attached. And that’s...a problem, in their line of work. Or at least it is for him.

17. Survivor au- same or different tribe, as long as they’re the “showmance”

"The Bachelor" AU

Married at first sight au- either within the parameters of the actual show, or they literally get married the day they meet

18. Jamie!Poppins - tyler is a single father with a new baby and no clue of what he's going to do. enter Jamie Poppins!

19. Minotaur Jamie

The Dallas Stars are a pack of werewolves, and Tyler is the vampire that’s been traded to their team.

Shifter verse!! and ive got nothing else for this other than wanting to see tyler as a tiny lab puppy pls and thanks

20. Alpha Tyler and omega Jamie: “usually when I meet an omega I wanna bone, but with Jamie I wanna fucking hold his hand and feed him bonbons all day, what the fuck”

21. Jamie the delivery boy. Kay hear me out. Like he keeps delivering huge quantities of food to this particular house and it always seems like there should be more than one person. But there’s not. And Tyler orders. All. The. Time. Hopeful it’s jamie. But they’re both too dumb to ask each other out. Lots of pining

Uber driver! Jamie picks up Tyler from a one night stand

22. Tyler gets traded back to Boston AU - Everything hurts and nothing is okay. (except that at least one of them is retiring at the end of the season so it's actually more okay than they think) (also a future fic)

23. breakup and makeup but spanning over seasons - no cheese plots

24. Bond drama (abo) either they bond too quickly, like at the all star game or something and dont know ehat to do because theyre on different teams, or they really want to bond and its not happening as fast as they think it should

25. Boring office desk job

26. road trip to Montreal to visit Jordie

27. while out chilling at a bar celebrating a win, jamie and tyler are having a couple of drinks and when jamie gets up to go the bathroom, a drunk stranger and a couple of his friends decide to harass Tyler, upsetting him. A furiously protective Jamie intervenes and despite holding his own, Jamie is beaten up and him and tyler end up in a dumpster.

28. A University fic where Tyler is out and proud and gay and Jamie is still trying to figure out his sexuality but he's having a hard time. No homophobic Jamie tho please, just a guy trying to figure himself out. Would love if he would rely on his family throughout the fic for advice.

I’m always a sucker for college au, or masters/PhD students etc

COLLEGE AU BECAUSE WE ALL NEED MORE OF THAT IN OUR LIVES

'the cops showed up to a party we were at and chased everyone away. You and I happened to run in the opposite direction of all our friends and got lost in some dark and creepy street.’ - College AU

29. Tyler finds out Jamie is gay (outed/comes out/whatever you prefer) and embarks on a wild but good-intentioned quest to find Jamie his perfect man.

30. Tyler is hurt by Lites' comments more than one thinks and Jamie is worried when he sees Tyler crying in private.

31. sickfic? jamie taking care of tyler is- like just how pathetic is a sick hockey player?

32. team bed au omg someone pls

33. Harry Potter au but not as high school student, just something in the magical world

34. "3am and the fire alarm in our apartment building went off and you look cold here is my jacket"

35. Hockey AU but they’re all dnd races. I would love to see half-orc Jamie, and goliath Bishop, and tiefling Tyler. Please be as creative as you want with this!

Hockey AU where instead of going out, a core group of guys plays dnd in their hotel rooms while on the road. Tyler and Jamie’s characters are getting flirty in game, and it’s starting to translate outside of it as well.

36. Tyler and jamie fight - a *big* fight, and the next day Jamie suddenly got a deaged tyler on his hands and no idea how to fix it

37. Jamie owns a bakery and tylers the new tat artist next door plsplspls gimme that slow burn bullshit with this one

38. ty/jam used to have a whole friends w benefits thing that went oh-so-wrong because one (or both of them) caught feelings—as one does—and the fic is kind of that aftermath and trying to repair the broken relationship.

39. ZOMBIES

40. Homeless AU w/tyler

41. Tyler is smarter than he leads people to believe, and Jamie is into privately nerdy Tyler

42. Abo verse surrounding scents. Tyler smells like the most delicious thing Jamie has ever smelled, but he thinks he shouldn’t bond with a teammate

43. Youtube channel

44. Designer and single friend of client at a bridal shop AU

45. Beard appreciation

46. a tornado warning hits dallas and everybody is ordered to seek shelter. jamie follows tyler back to his house and hide in the basement with the dogs, frantic and terrified.

47. Tyler is a figure skater, Jamie still plays hockey. They meet and fall inlove but whoops tyler ends up pregnant. The world still isn't 100% accepting of LGBTQIA+ people and even less accepting of men getting pregnant. Tyler feels down at some point cause he has to put his career on hold. but it all ends up great in the end.

48. Jamie feels self-conscious about his ass after some chirping from opposing players and it's up to Tyler to comfort him

49. Wing!fic

50. They win the Stanley cup and kiss at centre ice

51. Jamie's a lifeguard. They meet after Tyler basically drowns himself. (It's not an excuse to have Jamie kiss him. Its *not*.)

52. Haunted farm au- Tyler is a witch that lives on a farm where extremely weird things happen. He ends up rescuing Jamie and Jamie pledges his services for one year in exchange for his life. During that year, they fall for each other hard, but there are outside forces in the farm trying to keep them apart.

53. Animal daemons

Goose daemons

54. Marshall, Cash and Gerry turn into human kids (temporarily or not), Bennguin handle being sudden parents

55. Tyler having a serious boyfriend for a while and Jamie is jealous because he wants to date Tyler but he’s not ready to come out. And he’s also upset because everyone is taking it so well and nothing has changed and he realizes he really missed out. But in the end they still get together.

56. secret relationship and how they almost get caught - many many times

57. Childhood pen pal / long distance childhood friends?

58. "Come here."

59. “Close the door.”

60. “I feel like I can’t breathe.”

61. “It’s three in the morning and you want me to do what?”

62. “You could’ve died.”

63. “I thought you were dead.”

#bennguin #bennguinfanfest #bennguin fan fest #hockey rpf

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 411

This week, on Outlander: Claire carries all of the water for Jamie! Lord John can’t decide if he’s dumb and creepy or a cool dude! Roger is still my designated tea refill break! Bree is back to being the worst! Murgsali remains the best!

It’s week two of my drunk recaps being done while not drunk *shakes fist at the concept of Dry January* and my willpower is being aggressively tested.

I hate this fake-out with Roger as much as I hate the fake-out in ep. 1x03 with Claire and Mrs. Fitz.

Are we going to get Roger back at the stones and his decision to stay and him being recaptured and stuff next week? Or are we just going to pick back up at the village and we just need to fill all that in ourselves? Tbh, I almost would have preferred Roger just not being in this episode...

Oh the title card... Bree is suddenly now a great artist! (Seriously, how the fuck did she never draw Roger at any point before Rogergate happened?! Like, cool if you don’t want to share who raped you, literally this whole thing could have been avoided without sharing that tidbit if Jamie KNEW WHAT ROGER LOOKED LIKE. Oh, thanks for the heads up, Lizzie, but it turns out that the guy you saw is Bree’s boyfiend. I punched him for leaving her, but it turns out he’s just a dick, not a rapist.) (Second week in a row that I’ve made that typo. It’s like even my subconscious doesn’t like Roger.)

And Bree loves drawing the enslaved people on her great-aunt’s plantation! Which she apparently is totally cool with!

Also, Bree says Aunt wrong. It’s a minor thing but one that is driving me up a fucking wall every time she says it. (People in Massachusetts say it like Ahnt, not Ant.)

Geez, Lizzie, Bree doesn’t need to easily forgive Jamie. Jamie doesn’t deserve to be easily forgiven. Honestly, Lizzie is the least to blame for this whole fiasco. She saw a dude being rough with Bree and then the next time she saw Bree was post-rape. Jamie was a complete prick to Bree, beat the shit out of a random guy without letting him get a word in edgewise and had his nephew get rid of him. And then didn’t fucking tell Claire, who probably would have put two and two together, about it. Fuck that guy.

I simultaneously can’t believe and 1000% can believe they read this shit heap of a story line and were like “Yep, this is great stuff! Let’s definitely spend half a season on it!”

ROLLO! THE GOODEST BOY!

Ugh. Young Ian being like “Oh hey, Auntie Claire, how about you go do the emotional labor of making Jamie feel better about being a fucking dumbass!” Hard pass, Ian. Hard fucking pass.

So here for Claire’s “what you *both* thought.” Like yep, Ian, you’re at fault too. I know you love your uncle, but you gave that whole big speech at River Run about being your own man and yada yada, so maybe fucking own your part in this. You didn’t fucking have to sell a guy into fucking slavery. BUT YOU’RE STILL NOT AS MUCH TO BLAME AS JAMIE. FUUUUCK THAT GUY.

Also, Jamie, you dumb fuck. You should have been fucking groveling by now. You get no points for keeping your distance. Nut up and mea culpa the shit out of this situation.

Honestly, if they wanted to make the show just about Fersali and Murtz, at this point I’d be totally on board.

Wait, so Fergus has been unemployed this whole time? How the fuck have they been living for the past year then? What happened to his job at the printer? I have so many questions...

So Bree, who grew up in civil rights era Boston and had a Black roommate, is totally just chill about living on a plantation and being waited on by enslaved people? Like, we’re not going to mention this at all? Cool. Cool cool cool.

Also like fucking mother like daughter. She’s like “Oh hey, Phaedre, I’m going to draw you. Sit there. No, I’m not going to ask if you want to be drawn. Or take into account what Jocasta might do to you because of my decision to make you not be doing what you’re expected to be doing. Like my Mom did with asking you to call her by her first name, I’m just gonna disregard what the consequences might be for you because treating you like this will make me feel better about myself.”

Maria Doyle Kennedy continues to be awesome.

"Sorry! Did I wake ye?” I love Marsali so fucking much.

I really like them giving what was a convo with Jenny and Jamie about Ian in the books to Marsali and Murtagh about Fergus. But man, women do so much of the emotional labor in this fucking episode. Marsali is running a house, caring for a baby and risking having a wanted man sleeping in her kitchen but she also has to like fluff the pillows for Fergus’ feelings.

Yes, I know that spouses should support each other and be there when the other one needs something. But since we see so little of Fersali now, we’re not seeing this as a two way relationship. Just Marsali doing it for Fergus.

That being said, I do think it’s very sweet of Marsali.

“If I wanted him shot, I’d do it myself. And it wouldna be Fergus I’d take aim at first. He doesna put his boots on my blankets.” I just fucking love her so much, y’all.

Does Murtagh know who Marsali is yet though? Does he know about Jamie marrying Laoghaire? Were we robbed of the glorious Murtz reaction we could have had? Le sigh. If I had a drink, I’d pour one out...

Oh hey, Gerald. Is your name going to stay Gerald? Or are you randomly going to start being Neil in a couple seasons?

“Have you been enjoying your time at River Run?” “Yes, I love River Run. I love living with a bunch of racists, benefiting from the enslavement of Black people. I never once bring up how uncomfortable I am, or even look like I’m uncomfortable about the situation. I am not at all morally conflicted about my current situation. Everything is totally cool.”

I raged a lot during ep. 4x02, and honestly that rage all still stands.

Oh hey! John Grey, Lord of Convenient Appearances is back!

Fergus talking to Germain is my everything. “It seems there are some here who do not appreciate your contribution to the cause.” *swoon* I can’t wait for him to teach his lil dude the fine art of pickpocketing...

I LOVE THE FERGUS AND MURTAGH RELATIONSHIP A LOT AND I’M VERY GLAD THEY’RE GETTING SCREEN TIME TOGETHER.

BASICALLY I LOVE MURTAGH’S RELATIONSHIP WITH EVERYONE.

I JUST LOVE MURGSALI OK.

Bree’s like that obnoxious college freshman who comes home on break and is like all insufferable because they took like one intro to psych class and now want to like diagnose everyone they know with random shit.

“Must I close my eyes when you are before me?” “Yes.” Well played, Bree, but I still do not like you at all in this episode.

Man, 18th century tinder fucking sucks.

I know this show isn’t subtle at all, but jfc, they’re like punching us in the face with the judge being gay. 

Bree, Claire and Betty fucking Draper should start a club for women who drink like fish while preggo.

Ok so I’m on board with the convo with LJG and Bree about his vision or whatever, but then it crosses over into creepy later on in the episode.

Can Lizzie please fuck off already? She’s annoying af.

Also, she blurts out that Bree’s pregnant but managed to keep it a secret that Jamie kicked the shit out of a guy for weeks? I’m calling shenanigans on that.

I get that the convo with John and Bree about Jocasta trying to marry off Bree to some rando is supposed to like be clearing up the handfasting is marriage vs. not marriage thing that the show can’t make up its mind about, but it still bugs me, tbh. A lot.

I still am lowkey annoyed that they expect us to be so invested in Roger and Bree when they did like nothing to build up their relationship before it went to shit (both times). Like, you’re lazy when it comes to your characters, show. You’re doing a bad job. If no one is invested in the characters then all the plot in the world won’t make the show good.

The amount this show relies on book readers backfilling shit is absurd.

Jocasta, as a woman and figure in society, is a far more understandable giver of this speech about Bree needing to be married than Jamie, a dude who can have her live with him in his and Claire’s house in fucking bumblenowhere backwoods. But still, WHY DON’T THESE FUCKERS JUST TREAT HER LIKE SHE’S MARRIED. SHE TECHNICALLY IS. SHE’S HANDFAST. WHO GIVES A FUCK IF THERE WEREN’T WITNESSES. NO ONE IN CROSS CREEK KNOWS THAT. PEOPLE WILL JUST ACCEPT WHAT YOU TELL THEM. I HATE THAT ALL THESE FUCKERS WON’T PUT THAT TOGETHER.

Ok, cool that Lord John is getting some action, I’m am 10000% here for him to be happy with a man who actually wants him back instead of creepily pining over Jamie forever. But FFS YOU ARE NOT STUPID. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BANGING THIS DUDE IN THE GODDAMN HALLWAY?! YOU ARE A VERY CAREFUL PERSON. YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF PEOPLE KNOW YOU’RE GAY. YOU FUCKING GOT SHIPPED OFF TO ARDSMUIR BECAUSE OF RUMORS ABOUT YOU AND HECTOR. YOU ARE SMARTER THAN THIS YOU STUPID FUCKING FUCK.

All that aside, I totally ship John and the judge and they should totally be boyfriends and bang a lot, but FUCKING NOT IN THE GODDAMN HALLWAY OF SOMEONE ELSE’S HOUSE WHEN THEY KNOW THEY LIVE IN A HOMOPHOBIC AF SOCIETY.

Ok, fuck Brianna for this blackmail bullshit. Fuck her so fucking much. She is the literal worst right now. Like are you fucking kidding me, Bree?! You’re garbage. I know this shit is in the book, but fucking christ. It’s bad. Fucking have Bree talk to John like “Look, my aunt is trying to marry me off. That fucking hobbit is going to propose as soon as I go back inside. I don’t want to marry him, you know I’m waiting to see if my parents can find my quasi-husband. Can you please do me a solid and say we’re engaged so people leave me the fuck alone until my parents get back?” We *know* John would say yes to that, because he eventually fucking goes along with it for THAT EXACT FUCKING REASON. SO WHY ARE THEY HAVING FROM-THE-POST-STONEWALL-FUTURE BREE THREATEN A GUY WITH THIS SHIT. SHE KNOWS HOW QUEER FOLKS ARE TREATED IN HER OWN FUCKING TIME, AND THIS IS THE PAST AND THE PAST IS THE FUCKING WORST. FUUUUUUCK HER.

“That sounds like a threat.” BREE, YOU DON’T GET TO BE BUTTHURT ABOUT BEING THREATENED WHEN YOU LITERALLY JUST TOLD A GUY YOU WERE GOING TO RUIN HIS LIFE, YOU ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE.

“I wouldn’t have said a word to anyone. I’d just threaten you with your worst fear. Because I’m a raging asshat.”

It’s creepy af that they’re like talking around John being in love with Jamie. I honestly hate that part of John so fucking much. Like he could be such a great character if they could fucking lay off the him pining over and being weirdly possessive of Jamie shit.

Ok, so with Bree now just telling everyone that it was Bonnet who raped her it’s really coming off that Jamie’s manpain was the *only* reason she didn’t tell anyone but Claire before. Which is so fucked up! She was raped! Fuck Jamie’s manpain! If she wants to tell people, she should fucking tell people! Sorry not sorry, but if you were brutally raped and possibly impregnated by some fucker and you want to let people know who it was because it turns out he’s a fucking sociopath, that fucking trumps “oh, my bio dad might feel icky about it.”

“The union of our families is a blessing to us all. Except for the second someone better comes along. Because omg he’s a *lord*! Bye, Neil. Go have yourself some second breakfast.”

Oh fuck you, Jamie. You don’t get to be butthurt at Claire. Claire didn’t beat the everloving fuck out of some rando at the word of a maid, send him into slavery and then keep it a fucking secret. Also like, why the fuck did he even keep it a secret from Claire?! Why not do what Bree did and tell Claire but have her not tell Bree? And he’s still keeping him asking Murtagh to track Bonnet down from Claire. Seriously, fuck Jamie.

Oh Rollo, this isn’t Terminus. We don’t eat people in this show.

I literalol’ed at them pulling an Everest and using a dead body as a wayfinding tool. Probs not the reaction they were going for.

“He is... very much like his father.” DON’T MAKE IT WEIRD, JOHN.

"Good doesn’t come into it. I love him more than life itself.” I love the convo about loving a kid even if you’re not the bio dad, but this “It’s only new because there is hope.” bullshit while they’re sitting on the FUCKING PORCH OF A PLANTATION, LOOKING OUT AT ENSLAVED PEOPLE WHILE THE REST OF THE FAM IS OFF LOOKING FOR THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE LIVED ON THE LAND FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, IS SO FUCKING TONE DEAF IT HURTS.

“I was upset, but not with you.” Uh, Claire? YOU SHOULD BE UPSET WITH JAMIE. WHAT THE FUCK. YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY BE UPSET WITH JAMIE.

I get Claire’s reasons for not telling Jamie. I think Bree should have told Claire to tell Jamie since it seems like her only hesitation for doing so was Jamie’s #feelings. And I 100000000% think that it makes *zero* sense that she never told Jamie what Roger looks like. But Claire is doing way fucking more than her share of apologizing here. JAMIE IS THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE DOING THE BIG DRAMATIC APOLOGY. THIS IS LIKE 99.7% HIS FUCKING FAULT.

I HATE ROGERGATE SO FUCKING MUCH.

“Frank made plenty of mistakes.” UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE FUCKING CENTURIES, BEAUCHAMP.

Aaaand then they couch it as an “all parents do” thing. BECAUSE OH NO, CAN’T ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE WAS AN ABUSIVE JACKASS. NOPE. CAN’T DO THAT.

This show is fucking *killing* me with its refusal to make the male characters accountable for their actions. 

And then we get the same sex scene we got in the premiere. Because even though Jamie and Claire get freaky in oh-so-many different ways in the later books, the show has decided that from now on they need to be vanilla and boring. I mean, in the book this bit is described as fierce with blind desperation. I know I always say I want them to deviate from the book, but ffs, I didn’t mean make all the sex the same when the situations and emotional states of the characters when they’re together are very different...

And no, Balfe, I’m not a “horny granny.” (Seriously, fuck her for that comment, tbh. I know what she was probably trying to say, but word choice, Caitriona. It’s fucking important.) I’m not watching this show for the smut. But the core relationship, what’s supposed to be the heart of the show, is now monotonous af. 

Jamie and Claire as characters have always been a couple who express themselves passionately and physically. But now suddenly they’re just like soft af all the time? Where’s the fire? Where’s the spark? You don’t need to have nudity to show passion, show. I’m not asking for a parade of boobs and butts. (If there was contractual stuff involved with that for actors or whatever, more power to them.) But ffs, the show is managing to make me bored with the main fucking ship.

And then Roger gets the shit kicked out of him again and I’m here for it.

Because I still don’t like that guy.

(But seriously, framing the various Native American tribes as the “bad guys” is getting old af.)

#* #outlander starz #outlander 4x11 #drunj!der yells about outlander #rogergate

[screwloosestudios]

I wasn't sure at what point to actually call this finished, but I couldn't hold onto it forever!

LOTS AND LOTS OF TEXT BELOW

(Shucks, I don’t know how Tumblr works, you might have to go directly to the post to see it at full resolution???)

Unlike my other recent Smash pictures, this one wasn't planned for ten months to finally be realised now - in fact, it was only after the latest Direct that I realised I hadn't appended the SMASH 150 with another appeal for my most wanted character. It's become a bit of a tradition since I've investigated Captain Syrup not once: fav.me/d4cigck but twice: fav.me/d8ri2ag before! Now, after those first two prefaces, let me preface this by saying: I do not expect Captain Syrup to be playable in Super Smash Bros Ultimate. I do not expect Captain Syrup to even appear in Super Smash Bros Ultimate. I do not expect Captain Syrup to even be referenced in Super Smash Bros Ultimate. I do not expect Wario Land itself to be referenced in Super Smash Bros Ultimate. I do not expect another Wario Land game for at least ten years. But if Daisy, Ridley and K. Rool have taught us anything, it's that shouting and complaining is exactly the right way to get your favourite character into the game. Now, I kind of feel like Captain Syrup simultaneously has really good and really bad chances to become a playable character. On one hand, she is fairly obscure and has only appeared in three games but on the other hand, if there's ever going to be another Wario representative, aside from a handful of WarioWare characters Syrup is probably the most prominent character to pick. So this time I decided to go all out - not only is everything fully coloured but I've offered several options for various attacks covering all my bases! ADVENTURE SCHEME For this set I attempted to stick as closely as possible to attacks and abilities only used in Wario Land games that Syrup appears in and - as far as I could - by Syrup herself. Counterfeit Coin - Wario Land In the first Wario Land game the exit door in each level needs to be unlocked by dropping a coin into a slot. Often this has already been done for you but sometimes Wario actually needs to pony up the cash and pay his own way through. This coin throwing ability is a pretty overlooked one, but it can actually be used as an attack! Of course, there's no good reason for Captain Syrup to throw away perfectly good money so here she uses a fake token. Escape Bomb - Wario Land 2 I've used this basis before, but it functions a bit differently here. The bombs that Syrup drops in one of her fights in Wario Land 2 send a column of fire along the ground which will catch Wario and throw him out of the room. Here it produces a wave of flame that travels along the ground. Charging it up will produce a huge bomb (like the one she uses to escape the castle in the first Wario Land game) which, naturally, produces a larger, stronger flame. Wish - Wario Land In the final fight against Syrup in Wario Land, the captain commands a huge genie who is too high up for Wario to stomp on. The key to this battle is for Wario to throw the magic lamp around until it lands the right way up, at which point a puff of smoke pops out and can be used as a platform up to the genie's head. The smoke then turns into a miniature genie who floats around blasting magic onto the ground. That concept manifests here with Syrup producing a magic cloud from her lamp and riding it upwards then, at its peak, it bursts into a lightning bolt. Alarm Clock - Wario Land 2 I struggled for something to put here but it kind of works. The beginning of Wario Land 2 shows Syrup's pirate gang breaking into Wario's castle, stealing his treasure, turning the taps on and leaving a big alarm clock in a back room somewhere. For this attack Captain Syrup pulls out the alarm clock which, after a certain amount of time, will go off, sending out shockwaves. Final Wish Naturally the Final Smash should be a big genie summon. I think was can all agree on that. Smash Attacks Options I had a couple of ideas for how smash attacks could work. The first is to swing the anchor (an item from Wario Land 2) which is appropriately nautical but kind of suggests that Syrup is very physically strong, but the fact that she has never been fought hand-to-hand would suggest otherwise. The other idea - and my favourite one - is for her to use her magic lamp to summon big genie fists. Granted, it's a bit Bayonetta-ish but with seventy characters, I don't think a little bit of overlap will ruin anyone's day. TREASURE SCHEME In fact, I've always associated Captain Syrup with the magic lamp, even though she only used it once. I think it's one of the reasons I liked her so much. She's a pirate, but instead of using standard pirate fare like cannons and cutlasses, or incongruous robotics like other final bosses (though she did that exact thing the very next game) she used a piece of treasure against you. I loved the notion that she steals so much treasure that the occasional magical artefact would show up and would become part of her defensive arsenal. I tried to integrate the lamp fully into her design above, but here I explored that a bit further - using only treasure that originated in Wario Land games, of course. Merfle Syrup A throwable item, this little jar will smash on impact and either create a puddle of sticky syrup on the ground, slowing down anybody who walks through it, or land on an opponents head whereby their motion is hindered until it shakes off. (Technically this doesn't have the be the "treasure" Merfle brand, it could just be Syrup syrup and used in any other moveset!) Magic Carpet From the ending of Virtual Boy Wario Land, this can either be a dashing side special or a recovery. Glass Slippers From Wario Land Shake, the joke in that game was that there is only one and it is therefore useless, but I've added a second one here so that the pair can function as either a recovery or some sort of magical spin kick. CONCEPT SCHEME The other possibility, though probably far less likely, is to come up with a brand new way for Captain Syrup to fight. It has happened for a few Smashers so I thought I'd at least offer a possibility. Once again I wanted to shy away from classic pirate imagery so instead continued the theme from the very first Wario Land. Captain Syrup's base of operations in on Kitchen Island, a place whose regions are all based on mealtime - Mt. Teapot, Stove Canyon etc, even Captain Syrup's pirate ship is the SS Teacup. So I gave her a big knife and fork to use as weapons! Functionally similar to a sword but different enough to be noteworthy, I think. ECHO FIGHTER: MONA Since Ultimate is getting a lot of mileage out of Echo Fighters (a practice I definitely endorse) I wondered how the trend might fight into this proposal. I actually think it's just about possible to squeeze a Syrup Echo out of Zelda by replacing the glow of Zelda's magic with colourful puffs of smoke (from the lamp) and replacing the Phantom with the Mechagoom but I wasn't prepared to draw of that, I'm afraid! However, if I was pitching Captain Syrup as a character, I feel like offering an accompanying Echo and thereby getting two characters for the price of one (in a manner of speaking) might give her a better chance of being accepted. And, since we know Ashley isn't playable and Mona has the most similar size and build, I thought she'd be a good fit. I've shown how the Adventure Scheme could be altered to make Mona representative of the WarioWare series in general, using a Diamond City coin, the iconic Wario Bomb, the Wario Watch and Orbulon's Oinker. WORST CASE SCENARIO Not necessarily a bad scenario, but it would certainly deflate me a little if this ended up being the case. But I do think that a Captain Syrup costume would be suitable for any type of Mii Fighter! ********** Whew! And there you have it! Once again, I don't hold any hope of this actually happening but I would be happy for any type of playable Syrup. If they want to just give her a cutlass and make her a boring pirate, I'd still be over the moon with that. I'm lucky that my other favourite characters are already playable (King Dedede and the Koopalings) so I don't want to sound petulant but this would be the last thing I ever ask for. If they make Captain Syrup playable I wouldn't complain about anything else in the game. They could make Bandanna Waddle Dee playable, they could make Dark Metaknight, my most loathed character, playable and I wouldn't complain, but I really don't think it will happen, and I'll still be very happy with Ultimate even if the entire Wario Land franchise only exists as a forgotten dream.

#Super Smash Bros #Super Smash Bros Ultimate #Captain Syrup #Wario Land #Mona #WarioWare

[remainloved]

Rivalry - Ethan Dolan

Stephen Hawking was born on January 8th 1942, the 300th anniversary of Galileo’s death. He died on March 14th 2018, the anniversary of Einstein’s birth. Is this a trend? Idk. Maybe.

Summary: In movies, books and stories, captains fell in. The captain of the soccer team and the head of the cheering team will always make the perfect couple. However, what if these two captains despise each other?

Warning: none?

Word Count: 1.2k+

Y/L/N = Your Last Name

The silence was killing me. The atmosphere was far too thick for me to even breathe. Have you ever felt so mad that there’s something heavy settling inside? Yeah. That’s what I’m feeling right now.

It was his fault. If only he did not start it. I wouldn’t be sitting here on the counselling room together with him. The one and only Ethan Grant Dolan.

Everyone loves him. I mean he’s the football team captain, he aces the academic standards in this school, he has the perfect looks that all the guys wish for and the girls wish to date him. If only his personality didn’t suck then at least he’ll be at least more...tolerable.

Let’s recap what happened.

I was walking down to grab a can of soda when I bumped into a hard chest of Ethan Dolan. He’s holding his tray and ‘accidentally’ threw his pasta on to my white t-shirt.

“You’re gonna pay for that, Dolan.” I gritted through my teeth.

“Oh no, is the princess getting angry?” He faked gasped and rolled his eyes and looked deadpanned straight into my eyes. I opened the can of soda and poured  over on top of his head. Luckily, I was close enough to reach his head. The brown liquid flowed down and dampening his hair perfectly. I looked at what I just did and smirked. 

I was laughing so hard that Ethan tackled me down and said, “Not so nice after all, princess.”

I looked over and literally grabbed anything that I can grab and threw it straight into his face. I did not know what happened but someone shouted, “FOOD FIGHT!” and that’s how the two of us got detention and was forced to have a session with the guidance counselor.

“So, how’s the two of you?” Mrs. Smith asked. Mrs. Smith is our guidance counselor. She has this short bob jet black hair and red lipstick. She’s really sweet and helpful from what I’ve heard from the others.

Ethan huffed, “Obviously not good since I’m sitting here with Y/L/N.” Gosh, is there anything more irritating than this.

“That goes both ways.” I spat. I felt so sorry for Mrs. Smith for witnessing this. Honestly, half of the population of the school enjoy watching this ‘playful’ banter between the two of us. It’s their sort of entertainment. Hoping that one day we would fall in love together. Let me tell you this, it’s not gonna happen.

I looked up and I saw Mrs. Smith was just smiling and shook her head lightly. “How about we make things easy. Shake hands and say that you’re sorry then we can leave.”

“No way!” Ethan and I exclaimed at the same time. “Then we can stay here a bit longer, yeah?” Mrs. Smith chuckled.

I looked over the clock and it’s nearly time for cheers practice. I can’t miss especially nearing national soon. I put my hand out and Ethan glanced for a second and scoffed. “I’m not touching that.”

“Excuse me? I don’t want your dirty hands near me anyways.” I answered.

“I can keep you guys here and have the two of you skip practice.” Mrs. Smith told us teasingly although there’s a hint of seriousness lying underneath her statement.

The both of us unwillingly shook hands and just for a millisecond we said ‘sorry’ simultaneously and let go. I wiped my hands over my jeans not wanting his germs at all.

Mrs. Smith smiled proudly and lightly clapped, “Okay, the both of you are free to go” As soon as she said that, the two of us shot straight up from the chair and headed straight to the door. Unfortunately, Ethan was faster and shut the door straight before my face.

“Ethan! Let me out!” I shouted through the door. I was about to kick the door when Ethan decided to open it and he said, “Oh! I’m sorry I did not see you there.” He smirked and left.

--

After the long hours of practice we decided to cool down and wrapped it up. All of my teammates headed straight home while I walked back to the school library.

It was dark but I’ll just be here for a second. The library was a safe place for me. Hardly any students would come here anyways. It was peaceful. I tried doing some of my home works here.

I sat down at my favorite spot, it was near the windows and you can see the stars glimmering down the sky. I took a deep breath and sat there. I lost track of time. I was about to write some of my notes when I heard the door opened. For a second I was scared knowing that no one was supposed to be here. I saw a black hooded figure walking through the window. My heart was racing fast. I was about to gather all my things but I heard his voice. 

“Y/L/N?” The voice that I was so used of hearing. I turned around and I saw Ethan wearing a black hoodie and skinny jeans. “Gosh, you scared me.” I answered. I took a quick glance of his face, his face was tired and stressed. However, he chuckled and took a sit at the very end of my opposite.

After that the both of us just sat down. We did not argue and we let the silence washed over us. Although we argued a lot, I hate to admit the fact that sometimes it was comfortable with Ethan. I hate that kind of silence, especially wit him. “Dolan, what are you doing there?” I said trying to break this silence.

“Shut it, Y/L/N.” He answered a bit more rudely than usual. “Uh, looks like someone got their panties twisted.” I answered mockingly. A minute later he answered a bit more softly, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean that.”

“Wow, are you apologizing? You’ve snapped on me on daily basis.” I asked incredulously. “But I did that intentionally.” He chuckled.

“Uh, you’re going soft now, Dolan?” I told him teasingly.

“I know you are Y/L/N, I mean who can resist my good looks?” He answered arrogantly.

“Oh please, just because the everyone in this school thinks that you’re attractive doesn’t mean you’re attractive to me.” I snickered. He laughed.

“I think we should stop this rivalry between us, don’t you think?” Ethan asked quietly.

“I don’t think that’s possible.” I scoffed.

There was only one thing that Ethan and I have in common. The both of us are very competitive. We love challenges in any kind of form. 

“Let’s make a bet.” Ethan suggested raising his eyebrow.

“What bet?” I asked not backing down from a challenge he just proposed. I would never back down, especially to him.

“Making the other fall in love with the other.” He answered nonchalantly.

“Impossible, it won’t happen.” I answered knowingly.

“I think you’re just afraid Y/L/N.” Ethan smirked as he walked closer and closer towards me. He put his arms over my head and said, “You’re just a small girl who’s afraid to admit that you’ll fall for my charms.”

His hazel brown eyes were peering down at me. With his tall and strong built he made me feel like a small girl. I looked straight into his eyes “I don’t think so. I mean you’re the one walking closer to me. You’re the one who can’t resist me.” I answered smugly.

“You’ll fall head over heels for me in just matter of seconds, princess.” He cooed softly, his warmth breath fanned against my face.

I took a deep breath and answered, “If you don’t fall for me first, Dolan.” I lifted one of my eyebrows and smirked.

“Is that a challenge, Y/L/N?” He asked with his smirk still plastered on his face. I just looked at him and smiled softly. He looked down and smiled as well.

“You’re on Y/L/N.” He smirked.

Part 2

This was inspired from an e-book that I read a very long time ago, I think it’s called Battle of the Captains(?) I’m not sure..

Anyways..I just wanna say that the tumblr fandom side is very positive about a lot of things and I’m proud to say that I’m a part of it :)

ps: i really do hope you guys like this one although it’s not edited and maybe a part 2? idk?? 

last edited 3/18/18

#ethan dolan #grayson dolan #the dolan twins #dolan twins #the dolan twins imagines #the dolan twins imagine #the dolan twins blurb #the dolan twins x reader #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins imagines #dolan twins blurb #dolan twins one shot #dolan twins x reader #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan imagines #ethan dolan one shot #ethan dolan blurbs #ethan dolan x reader #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan imagines #grayson dolan one shot #grayson dolan blurbs #grayson dolan x reader #grethan #youtube #ethan dolan fic #grayson dolan fic #my writings #eth’s story

[thevampirediariesdiary]

2.05 Kill or Be Killed

I think the lead-in sentence for every episode this season is just going to be me, enthusing about what a good episode it is, full of great themes, complex relationships, and tightly woven plots.  Season two, man.  It’s basically perfect.

Elena catches Jeremy up on the fact that Mason and maybe Tyler are wolves. She’s promised not to keep things from him, but says she doesn’t want him involved.  Stefan sneaks into Elena’s bedroom, she makes sure the door’s shut, because actually she’s definitely still keeping things from Jeremy!, and kisses Stefan.  “Hi,” she says.  “Hey,” he says, hugging her. “You ready for today?”  “No,” Elena pouts into his shoulder, “I hate fighting with you, even if it’s fake.”  Stefan reminds her that they need to keep Katherine thinking she’s getting what she wants, it’s the best way to make sure she doesn’t hurt anybody.  “Just promise me she won’t get her way with us,” Elena says, “we can fake a fight, we can pretend that her threats are tearing us apart, but none of it’s real, okay?”  

Stefan smiles at her, says, “Okay how ‘bout this? Today, when we’re fighting, if I say I can’t do this anymore, Elena, what I’ll really mean is that I love you.”  He adds a little extra broody-smolder, she smiles.

“And when I say, Fine, Stefan, whatever – it really means I love you too,” she answers. “Deal,” Stefan says, and they both stop beaming at each other long enough to kiss.  

This is a pretty good episode for them, so expect me to run with my rare Stelena feels for as far as they’ll take me.

Caroline signed her mom up for the Historical Society Volunteer Picnic some time ago, and Liz tells her she’s going to go and spend a whole day with her daughter.  “Come on, give me one day,” she says. “I’ve been buried in work mode, I’ve barely seen you.”  “Well, be warned,” says Caroline snippily, “I’m in a mood.”  “Goodie for me,” Liz says wryly, then asks, “Is everything okay with you?” “I’m fine,” Caroline says.  “It’s just, lately you’ve seemed…different,” Liz tells her.  “I’m not different, I’m fine,” Caroline insists.  “I know you don’t think I notice these things,” Liz persists, “but I do.  What’s going on with you?”  “You know,” says Caroline, “there’s pretending to be mother and then there’s reality. Let’s not push our luck.”  Nothing puts strain on a relationship like one party not telling the other that they technically died.

At the picnic, Stefan proposes peace to Mason, who’s understandably miffed given that his own overtures of friendship were so violently rejected, and tells Stefan that Damon should watch his back. Stefan switches gears, reminds Mason that he’s outnumbered and only dangerous once a month.  He assures Mason that Damon won’t attack him, and the two shakes hands.  I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, these moments of Stefan threatening people are so wonderfully funny when you remember Stefan is supposed to be a seventeen-year-old little high-school shithead.  Mason leaves; Damon sneaks up on his brother.  “What are you doing?” he asks flatly.  “Negotiating peace on your behalf,” Stefan says.  ��But I don’t want peace!” Damon whines.  “Well,” Stefan says unsympathetically, “consider it opposite day.”  “Stefan,” says Damon, putting his hands on his brother’s shoulders as if he’s about to give him the close-talking-est neck massage ever, “tell me you don’t seriously think a handshake just solved all our problems.”  “No, actually,” Stefan says, mock-casually,“I think the first chance he gets Mason Lockwood is going to drive a stake through your heart. And then through mine!  All because you took it upon yourself to try to kill him.  So thank you, because we don’t have enough problems.”  He cups Damon’s face in one hand in a quasi-manly gesture of affection and frustration, shakes him, and then leaves.

Jeremy is sitting in the Grille, sketching Tyler Lockwood.  Eventually this gets boring, so he gets up and asks Tyler how he’s been, and Tyler (after a kneejerk-jerk response) thanks him for being a decent person at Mayor Lockwood’s wake.  Tyler then invites a couple of girls and Jeremy back to his house to drink and party while his mom’s supervising the picnic.  Since this little arc is 85% moonstone shenanigans, this is pretty much all I’m going to say about it: Tyler knows Jeremy knows, Tyler doesn’t kill anybody, Tyler gives Mason moonstone.  Bing bang boom.  Also, Mason’s sort of with Katherine.

At the picnic, Mason asks Liz to talk about the council.  “I know vampires exist,” he says, “and you have two of them living right under your nose.”  “Really,” says Liz, impatiently, “who would they be?”  “Damon and Stefan Salvatore,” Mason says.  Easy as that – every other mini-villain threatened to expose the boys, but Mason just went straight for it.  Liz’s eyes narrow.  “That’s impossible,” she says. “I know Damon Salvatore, do you know what he’s done for this town?  I have watched him kill vampires, he’s an ally, he’s part of the council.”  “Think about it!” Mason insists. “When did the vampire attacks begin – when Damon and Stefan Salvatore moved to town?”  “No,” Liz says firmly, “Damon Salvatore is my friend.”  But of course – Mason offers to prove it.  It is nice to hear “Damon and Stefan Salvatore” instead of “Stefan and Damon Salvatore” for a change – Damon is older, after all. 

“So, suddenly she’s in the running for mother of the year, just when I’m trying to avoid her the most!” Caroline complains to a very distracted Elena, who has to be prompted to supply the requisite “then what happened”.  “Well, I was a bitch,” Caroline admits, “but that’s par for the course with us.  So,” she adds, in that terrible fake-casual Mystic Falls Liar voice, “how are things with you and Stefan? Anything?”  Elena heaves a theatrical sigh, says, “No, not since the fight.  He’s been pushing me away because he thinks Katherine might get jealous enough to hurt me. I just don’t know how to change his mind.”  “You said that Katherine’s dangerous,” Caroline says, coming over to sit by her, “maybe he’s got a point.”  “Yeah, I know that she’s dangerous, and I know that he’s just trying to protect me, but it feels like giving up, and I just –”  She cuts off, fake-frustrated.  “Just what?” Caroline asks quietly.  Elena makes eye contact with her, says innocently, “I just thought that we were stronger than that.”

I’ve complained before about Stefan treating Caroline like a pawn – feeding her vervain to knock Damon out instead of actually making a move to save her – and again when Stefan and Elena both reacted to Caroline’s being turned into a vampire with “Katherine’s doing this to me”, instead of “it’s awful that Katherine did this to Caroline”.  But this is a new low.  They’re using Caroline to feed false information to Katherine, while simultaneously guilting her for something they must know she’s being forced to do.  I don’t love it.  

Damon wanders up to Liz and asks what her chat with Mason was about.  “Oh,” she answers awkwardly, “I just asked him to help me with clean-up in the woods.” “That’s what I’m here for,” Damon says, cheerfully, “put me to work!  Should I go help him?”  “Oh, no, no, you know what, he’s – I’m sure he’s fine,” Liz says, avoiding eye contact, which is a darn shame, because Damon is having an Extra Pretty Eye Day.

“Are you okay, Liz?” he asks. “You seem really upset.”  “It’s Caroline,” Liz answers, “we had a moment.”  “Is there anything I can do?” Damon asks, sounding genuinely regretful for her pain.

“No, Damon,” she says, “thank you.  It’s just horrible parenting skills paying off in spades.”  She makes her exit, he watches her go, looking blue-eyed and worried.

Stefan and Elena ogle each other from across the picnic.  “Uh-oh,” Caroline says, “longing looks are being exchanged.”  “I’m gonna go talk to him,” Elena decides.  “No, Elena, I think it’s a bad idea,” Caroline says, but Elena’s already gone.  Damon sidles up so that he and Caroline can look pretty and blue-eyed and watch Elena together; Damon asks, “What’s her problem?”  “Don’t worry about it,” Caroline says.  “Why are you being such a bitch to your mom?” Damon says, with a frankly surprising amount of sincerity behind it.

“Don’t worry about it,” Caroline repeats.  The answer should be obvious – she can’t let her mother get too close, or Liz will find out she’s a vampire, and Damon should know that.  Everybody’s getting on her case for things that aren’t her fault; she’s in several impossible positions and she’s doing the best she can, but nobody’s helping her.  Across the way, Elena asks Stefan, “Do you still care about Katherine?”  “Don’t do this, please don’t turn this into something it’s not,” he pleads, which kudos to Stefan, is totally believable!  Their fights have always consisted of Elena asking straightforward questions and Stefan doing backflips around them.  “So this isn’t up for discussion, that’s what you’re saying?” Elena says.  “No, I’m saying this isn’t up for discussion right now, because we have ears on us,” Stefan says.  Caroline gets busy painting something, Damon gets busy…staring at the ground?  Great job, real subtle, hon.  Elena huffs a sigh, asks, “Okay, when?”  “I don’t know,” Stefan says.  “I saw her, Stefan,” Elena says, her voice starting to shake. “It’s like we’re the same person, how could you hate her and be in love with me?”  “You’re reaching,” Stefan says, “I’m not…I’m not Damon.”  “How about we don’t bring Damon into this right now,” Elena answers.  “You know what,” says Stefan, dropping his voice lower and looking her in the eyes, “I can’t – I can’t do this anymore, Elena.”

Comprehension dawns in her eyes, she swallows.  “Fine, Stefan,” she says, nodding slightly, “whatever.”  She walks off; Damon murmurs to Caroline, “Relationships are about communication…” This could have been such a corny scene, but you get the sense that as Stefan and Elena are talking, the reality of their situation starts to bleed into the fight.  It feels like when they use their code phrases, it’s not to say “none of this is real, like we planned, like we wanted – everything’s okay, and I love you.”  But rather, what they’re communicating is that even in the midst of this, even though they’re both really afraid and even a little frustrated with each other, they do still love each other: “Nothing’s okay, and I love you.”  Relationships are about communication, and they managed to say exactly what they needed to.

“Heard you talked to Stefan,” Damon tells Mason. “Nice guy,” Mason says.  “Way nicer than me,” Damon says, grinning. “Nice is overrated,” Mason answers. “That’s what I think,” Damon says, clapping him on the shoulder.  This is very reminiscent of his early interactions with Alaric – as in, the interactions directly before he killed Alaric. Damon, you are bad at making friends. Mason leaves, Stefan zooms over to yell at his brother for shit-stirring.  “So what’s up with this faux-drama in your relationship?” Damon asks, point-blank.  “What are you talking about?” Stefan says, shifty-eyed as can be.  “Oh, come on, Stefan,” Damon says, “you and Elena don’t fight.”  He adds, wryly, “Especially not over me.” “Drop it, Damon,” Stefan says. “With pleasure,” Damon answers, and accepts a lemonade from a pint-sized volunteer, which he promptly spits all over, coughing.  “What’s wrong with you?” Stefan says, somewhat petulantly.  “Vervain,” Damon gasps.  Across the park, Liz watches as Stefan sniffs the drink and fusses over his brother. They’ve been caught.

Elena sits at the edge of the creek and rips at grass, angrily.  Caroline tries to tell her maybe it’s for the best – and given Caroline’s own decision to break up with Matt, maybe she believes it is – but Elena snaps at her.  “I don’t mean to take it out on you, you’re just trying to be a good friend,” she bites out.  Elena, quit being an asshole.  “No, I’m not,” Caroline says, “I’m not being a good friend at all.”  But before she can confess anything, she sees her mother leaving the picnic and takes off after her.  They have a very cliched back and forth – “you lasted longer than I thought”, “it’s important”, “it always is” – and then Liz, apologizing, leaves.  “Something’s up,” Caroline tells Elena.  They climb to the top of a hill and Caroline shushes Elena so she can listen to what’s going on. 

Damon and Stefan rassle at the edge of the picnic. “I’m not listening to any more of your give-peace-a-chance crap, he’s dead!” Damon spits.  “Alright, I don’t like it, but he’s making threats, he could expose us, we need to put him down,” Stefan says.  Man, he caved fast.  They take off after Mason into the woods, where they make uncreative threats and then are shot full of wooden bullets and vervain by Liz and her deputies.  The brothers are dragged to the old Lockwood estate so they can be interrogated and killed; Liz sends Mason away.  He runs into Caroline and Elena above-ground, is smug and condescending.  He grabs Elena, tells Caroline, “Don’t be stupid, necks snap easy around here.”  

“I can take you,” Caroline says, like she’s psyching herself up; she’s insecurity on crack, and yet –  “Wanna bet?” Mason says.  “Yeah, I do,” says Caroline, and in a flash she has him away from Elena and pinned by the throat to a tree.  “Told ya,” she says, and knees him in the groin.

Underground, Liz is shooting Damon’s knees. She shoots Stefan once as well, but he doesn’t move, and so she goes back to shooting Damon.  “I will drag this out painfully,” she tells Damon.  “But you’re my friend…” he murmurs.  “Our friendship was a lie,” Liz says, “answer me and I’ll kill you fast.” He doesn’t answer; he’s heard Elena and Caroline arrive upstairs.  “My mom…she’s killing them,” Caroline says.  “We have to stop her!” Elena says, and makes for the entrance.  Caroline doesn’t follow; “Elena, I can’t, she’ll find out about me!”  Elena leaves her at the top of the stairs, and hits a deputy with a wooden board. “You can’t kill them, I’m not gonna let you!” she tells Liz.  Liz barely has time to exclaim before there’s a whoosh, and then Caroline’s taken out both the deputies – one dead from the other’s bullets, and the other thrown aside, neck possibly broken.  

“Hi, mom.”

“You need to drink some deputy blood,” Damon tells Stefan, who’s hunched over in Elena’s arms, breathing shallowly.  “No, I’ll be fine, it’s just gonna take a little bit longer,” Stefan says.  “No, Damon’s right,” Caroline puts in in a small voice, “if there was ever a time to break your diet – ” “He said he didn’t want it, okay?” Elena interrupts. Damon struggles to his feet, declaims, “This is a most unfortunate situation.  Two deputies dead.  And you,” he addresses Liz, “what am I gonna do with you?”

“You won’t tell anyone, will you?” Caroline says.

Liz looks away.  “Mom?” Caroline repeats. “Mom?  I know we don’t get along and that you hate me, but I’m your daughter, and you’ll do this for me, right?  Mom, please.  He will kill you.”  Damon nods, literally snarling.  Liz looks up at him, sobs, “Then kill me.”  “No!” Caroline protests.  “I can’t take this,” Liz says, “kill me, now.”  Damon leans over her, says, “But you were going to drag it out so painfully!”

He smirks at her fear, grabs her roughly. Caroline screams “no” repeatedly, Stefan shouts, “Damon, don’t!” as Elena begs “Damon, please!”  “Relax, guys, no one’s killing anybody!” Damon says, the malevolent spark in his eyes gone like it was never there, replaced by the usual ironic humor.

Stefan and Elena look relieved albeit flabbergasted.  Damon ignores them, turns to Liz, and says gently, looking straight into her eyes, “You’re my friend.”  He didn’t overhear her conversation with Mason – he’s not echoing her words back to her in an accusatory way, throwing the label in her face to make her feel bad about shooting him.  He’s even saying it again, now that his life’s not on the line.  This is really, truly his assessment of their relationship – everyone else thought the friendship was a lie concocted so he could get information on the council, everyone else thought he’d turn on Liz the same way he turned on Caroline when she became a threat.  But if Damon is anything, it’s inconsistent.

Caroline arrives on the boys’ doorstep with a giant overnight bag for her mom, who’s staying in the Salvatore Detox Hotel for two-to-three days until the vervain has left her system and she can be compelled. “Hey!” she says to Stefan. “Get some bunny in you?”  “Yeah, thank you, I’m feeling much better,” he replies. D’awwww.  Downstairs, Damon helps Liz get settled: “It’s not exactly the Ritz, but it’s secure.  And I brought you a good thread count.”

Just as Caroline reaches the doorway, Liz asks Damon, “Keep Caroline away from me, please.  I don’t wanna see her.”  “She’s your daughter, Liz,” Damon says.  “Not anymore,” she answers, “my daughter’s gone.”  “You have no idea how wrong you are about that,” Damon says, solemnly.  But Liz doesn’t answer, and when he meets Caroline’s eyes on the other side of the door she drops the luggage and flees.  

Up until now, Caroline’s vampire-experience has been straightforwardly paralleled with Stefan’s – he’s the one helping her, teaching her, trying to make sure she doesn’t suffer the way he did.  But here, just for a moment, Damon puts his oar in – like Caroline and her mother, he had a complicated relationship with his father prior to turning.  Unlike Caroline, and unlike Stefan, he never got the opportunity to resolve that – but he knows that the destruction of that relationship after turning is what pushed Stefan over the edge.  So, he does his best – after all, he’s already been low-key trying to fix Caroline’s relationship with her mother all day.

Stefan stops at his fridge o’ contraband, contemplates a blood bag.  “Katherine took a little vervain every day and built up a tolerance,” he tells Elena. “I could do the same with blood, learn to control myself on it.”  “But you can’t, Stefan,” Elena says, “you don’t have to.”  “I almost died tonight, Elena,” he says, “because I was too weak. I told you I was gonna find a way to stop Katherine, and this is it.”  She taps her ear, says, “Can we talk about this later?”  “He can hear us wherever we are, because he drinks this!” Stefan shouts. “This is the only thing that can help me.”  “Are you serious or are you pretending to fight, because I can’t tell,” Elena says, shaken. “No, this is real,” Stefan says, “no more pretend.”  She stares at him like she’s not seeing him, like she’s remembering every awful thing they went through last time he drank human blood – and then she runs. 

Caroline confesses to Elena that she’s scared to go home because Katherine will be there; Elena admits that she’s known and she’s been angry, but then she thought about it and realized Katherine had to have threatened someone Caroline loved – “Matt,” Caroline sobs, “she threatened Matt. Why is she doing this?  What does she want?”  “That’s the million dollar question,” Elena answers.

This resolution is more than a little unsatisfying – Caroline sensed something was wrong, Caroline tracked the disturbance, Caroline took down Mason, and Caroline saved the Salvatores, risking her life, committing as many as (1) murder, and exposing her undead identity to her mother in the process.  Stefan and Elena assumed Caroline was most useful kept in the dark, an unwitting double agent – but hasn’t she proved in the course of the day that she can hold her own?  Why aren’t they apologizing to her?  Why aren’t they thanking her?

Elena crosses paths with Damon on her way out, says “Caroline’s sleeping on the couch.”  This, by the way, is ridiculous – it’s a boarding house, they have spare rooms up the wazoo.  “I heard,” Damon whispers back, “and you?”  She gives him a look I can’t decipher, says, “I’m going home.”  But she stops at the front door, turns back around and says to him, “What you did for Caroline’s mom…?”

“That’s the Damon who was my friend.”  He blinks, offers her the slightest acknowledging smile; she turns to go.  “Hey,” he says.  She turns. “Stefan didn’t drink the people blood, if you were curious,” he says, keeping his voice light. “But he needs to, and deep down you know that.”  

She stares at him – this is the first time, since Jeremy, that they’ve looked at each other like this, torn open and vulnerable and visible.  He nods at her, and leaves her alone – he’s given her the distance she asked for all episode, and even now, he takes her words to him for what they are, and doesn’t pressure her for anything more.  

Elena stands in Stefan’s doorway, asks, “You really think you can control it?”  “I don’t know,” he answers. “I think it’s worth trying.”  “So do I,” Elena says, “but I don’t want you to do it alone.” She pricks her palm with a (truly ostentatious) letter opener, and sits opposite him.  “It’s you and me, Stefan,” she says, “always.”

It’s the two of them against the world, holding each other through every trial, each acting as the anchor point so that the other doesn’t slip away.  This is the final movement away from the Miss Mystic Falls era of the show dynamics – it’s not the Damon and Elena team, anymore, bonded by their shared love for Stefan, working together to keep him safe and on the straight and narrow.  Now, it’s Stefan and Elena, facing the thing that they couldn’t before, ready to stare it down by the strength of their bond. Damon provides the push – but then he steps aside.

Music Moments: Kris Allen’s “I Need to Know” plays over the last two scenes with Damon and Elena (are you leaving me / or are you leading the way? / can you hear what I'm saying? / I need to know), and Stefan and Elena (feels so far away / I want to see your face / are you even there? / can you show me? / can you make me believe?).

Previously: 2.01, 2.02, 2.03, 2.04

#2.05 #tvd #kill or be killed #rewatch

[bitchinlyras]

the squeaky chair

jake's chair has been squeaking for the past week. amy has reached her last tether.  so she proposes him with something he can not deny: a challenge.  (read on ao3)

Amy Santiago could beat Jake Peralta at anything if she wanted to. She’s sure of that.

The only exception, the only award he could beat her for? Most annoying human being on planet earth.

She’s sitting at the desk across from him, gritting her teeth as he spins on his chair just enough to make it squeak.

It had started squeaking a week ago, something which most people would hate, but Jake had been delighted at.

“Hey, Santiago, listen to this!” he had said, spinning around on his chair so that it let out a long loud squeak.

She looked up from her paperwork, putting down her pen. “What are you doing, weirdo?” she asked him.

“It squeaks!” he said delightfully, making it squeak again.

“Congratulations, Peralta” she said sarcastically, smiling, “you have a shitty chair.”

But Jake just grinned back broadly, and got up, coming round to sit on the edge of her desk. “Oh, Santiago,” he said, mock wisely, “you have no idea the power I have now.”

She opened her mouth to reply, but Charles appeared out of nowhere. “The sexual tension between two is staggering.” he said, putting a weird amount of emphasis on the word ‘staggering’.

“Ugh, Boyle,” they both said simultaneously.

“Get out,” Jake told him, pushing him away; getting up himself and walking away.

Amy rolled her eyes and went back to her paperwork.

She’s been working at the Nine Nine for almost seven months now. Jake’s her deskmate and her partner in most cases, and Boyle seems to think they’re destined to be wed (he had literally said this within seconds of them meeting). Over her dead body would she marry Peralta though. They’ve built up a pretty intense rivalry over the past few months, hence Jake’s determined squeaking throughout the week. She knows he’s trying to get a rise out of her.

He spins around fully and the chair squeaks so loudly that Amy is sure the dogs in China can hear it.

She slams down her pen.

“Alright Peralta,” she says angrily, “give it up.”

He stops spinning and feigns innocence. “Stop what?”

“You know what!”

“No, I don’t, but whatever it is, I’ll stop. You just need to tell me what.”

She glares at him, before standing up. “Sarge!” She yells at Terry. “Tell Peralta to stop his chair squeaking! I can’t concentrate!”

“I’m not doing that anymore, Santiago,” Terry replies, “I’m not solving anymore arguments between you two. You’re two grown adults, sort it out yourselves!”

“Fine,” she says, pursing her lips; she looks down at Jake. “Peralta,” she says as nicely as she can muster (and it almost kills her). “How about we swap chairs?”

“Let me think,” he says, stroking a fake beard. He spins around in his chair and stands up. “I think I’ll pass but thank you for the offer.”

By now everyone in the precinct is watching them (Hitchcock and Scully are eating popcorn, too).

“That’s ridiculous.” she says, crossing her arms. “My chair is far superior to yours.”

“What? No it’s not!”

“Uh, yeah it is!”

“Then why are you the one trying to trade?” he points out, and Amy glares at him.

But she has one more trick up her sleeve. Smiling, she leans over the desk slightly. “Fine, then,” she says with a smirk and a head tilt, “I challenge you for it.”

The entire precinct ‘oohs’ at this and Rosa says, “Power move, Santiago, respect.”

(It’s the nicest thing she’s said to Amy the entire time she’s worked there.)

“Alright, alright,” Jake says to the precinct. He turns back to Amy, “Challenge accepted, Santiago.”

Amy offers her out her hand and Jake shakes it. “Winner gets your far inferior chair.” she says.

“Guess I’ll be keeping it then,” he replies.

“You keep thinking that,” she tells him.

The next thing was to work out what the challenge was going to be exactly.

(Jake suggests that the challenge should be to come up with a challenge, Amy almost agrees to this before realising this means Jake wins by default. “You almost fell for it though!” he says grinning, point at her. She just rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling.)

It’s Terry (and Hitchcock and Scully) who give them the idea.

“You two seriously need to get of those chairs once in a while,” Terry says to Hitchcock and Scully as he walks past them.

Jake and Amy turn to stare at each other, both grinning broadly, the same idea in their minds.

“Stay in the chair—” Amy begins.

“—for as long as possible.” Jake finishes for her.

She nods. “Bathroom breaks?”

He thinks for a moment. “Every three hours?”

She nods again. “That seems fair. But you have to roll the chair all the way into the stall.”

“Well, duh,” Jake says, grinning at her.

“Ready?” she asks (neither aware of how flirtatious their tones have become).

“I was born ready.” Jake replies, and the two sit down in their chairs, not breaking eye contact with the other for a second.

Rosa, watching with Charles from the other side of the precinct, turns to him. “Those two need to bone bad.”

“Thank you!” he yells, standing up. “Somebody said it!”

The first couple of hours go smoothly. Jake and Amy find it quite fun to roll around in the chairs. They roll up and down the precinct, playing a version of bumper cars with the chairs. Jake interrogates someone in his chair, and Amy interviews a witness.

“Look, as your superior officer, I need to tell you two that you can’t do this forever,” Terry says to them.

“You told us to work it out on our own, Sarge,” Jake says, “and that’s what we’re doing.” Amy nods in agreement.

“Plus McGlintly said it was fine,” Amy adds, “he even praised us for taking initiative.”

Terry sighs and heads back to his desk.

It’s after the first bathroom break that things begin to slow.

“Ugh, your butt must be as sore as mine,” Amy moans, her head on her desk.

“My butt is great actually,” Jake lies. “Far superior to yours,” he adds cheekily.

She rolls her eyes. “You’re so annoying when you quote myself back to me.”

“Really? I thought it turned you on.”

Amy groans and throws a wad of sticky notes at him.

The clock ticks past the end of their shift.

“What do we do now?” she asks.

Jake puts his feet up on his desk. “I’m here all night.”

“Bring it on, Peralta.”

“Oh, I’m bringing it. I’m bringing it all the way.”

Charles returns shortly after leaving.

“Amy!” he says excitedly. “I passed the pen store on the way home! They’re having a two for one sale!”

Amy looks at him excitedly. “Which pen store?!”

“Uh, um, the one near my house… it’s just called ‘The Pen Store’.”

Amy looks at him suspiciously, and then turns to Jake. “You put him up to this.”

“God damn it, Boyle!” Jake says.

“I’m sorry, Jake,” Charles says, “I’m not good under pressure. I once bought an alpaca because they told me they only had one left.”

“What?” Jake says. “Don’t worry about it, Charles, just go home. Shift’s over.”

“Ha! You’re panicking, Peralta!” she says delightfully, pointing at him.

“I’m not panicking.”

“Yeah, you are. That was a poor tactic. Your butt must be very sore.”

“My butt is fine. My butt is better than fine. It loves to sit. My butt is in butt heaven right now.”

“Oh your butt—” Amy starts, but Terry interupts her.

“Can you two stop saying the word ‘butt’?!” he exclaims.

“Sorry, Sarge!” Jake says, spinning around in his chair. “Is ‘ass’ better?”

“You know it’s not!”

“Right, sorry,” Jake says quickly, turning around in his chair.

They’ve been sitting for eight hours now. Jake is snoozing on his desk and Amy is reading a book by her desk.

She watches him over the top of her book, and then smiles as an idea comes into her mind.

She wheels herself to the supply closet, leaving the door open to help her claustrophobia. She finds what she’s looking for — a feather duster.

She rolls herself back into the precinct and comes up behind Jake, reaching out tentatively to tickle him with the feather duster.

He wakes up and jumps out of his chair instinctively, laughing.

“Ha!” Amy shouts. “Ha! You’re out of your chair! I win! Amy Santiago is the winner!”

“What?! No!” Jake protests. “That’s cheating!”

“Uh-uh, Peralta, we never said tickling was against the rules. I win, fair and square.” she says proudly, before getting out her chair. “God, it feels good to stand.”

“Cheater.” he says.

“Winner.” she corrects him, grinning proudly. “Now hand it over, Peralta.”

Sighing, he pushes his chair towards her, and she rolls it around to her desk.

She sits down in it, and turns slightly. It squeaks.

“Now, I can control the squeaking.” she says happily.

She stands back up (her butt is very sore), and looks at Jake, who seems... happy?

“What?” she asks him.

“Nothing,” he says, but he’s smiling.

“I won, you lost. This is my victory.” she says. “You shouldn’t be smiling.”

Jake picks up his bag and shakes his head. “Nothing,” he repeats, still smiling.

He heads over to the elevator and Amy follows him, stopping at the bullpen gate. “Jake! What is it?” she asks as he waits by the elevator.

“You realise that you just spent eight hours in a sit off so that you could ‘win’ a chair that is wayyyy shittier than the one you had to begin with?”

She gapes at him and he steps into the elevator. “Yeah, but I control the squeaking now! I can annoy you! I won!”

“But did you?” he asks as the elevator doors shut.

She stands, shocked, staring at the closed elevator.

She just got played by Jake Peralta.

#jake x amy #peraltiago #peraltiago fanfiction #b99 fanfic #b99 #brooklyn nine nine #mywriting #otp: i love you so much

[romancevsreality-blog]

the bachelor, season twenty-two, episode ten: go away, SCUMBAG.

Oh, y’all didn’t think I was just gonna disappear on you, did you?

Unfortunately for me, I got spoiled early on in the season1 and once that became glaringly clear it was going to be true, I lost all interest in the season until that was going to happen. But alas, here we are. The finale of El Bachelor.

But first, I must get something off of my chest.

From this moment going forward, Arie will now be known as Arby.

Why, do you ask? Because he is the living embodiment of the worst fast-food dining experience I have ever had, which was at an Arby’s.

Much like Arby’s, Arie isn’t awful all the time. It has its moments of decent glory, which is fine. In a pinch, it’s there and it gets the job done. Would I personally want to have it every single day? No, but I know people who wouldn’t complain about that life. No one ever gets super excited about Arby’s, though. We kind of forget Arby’s until there’s no other preferable options around. Arby’s will make you sick and then give you some coupons to make up for it and then two days later you still have explosive diarrhea and you’re wondering “Why did I even take the coupons?”

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m Becca, and Arie is Arby’s in this scenario.

The episode opens with My Mortal Enemy Chris Harrison talking us live on the air and telling us that we’re going to see a completely un-edited version of the final scene of the season. I get the dramatic effect of doing all of this, but like… that just sounds like a lot of dead air. Anyway, we’re still in Peru! Arby’s struggling with the idea that at the end of all of this, he has to choose someone.

Right? That’s what his issue is. He doesn’t like the fact that he has to choose. There’s a struggle in that Becca is who he probably should be with, and The Last Remaining Lauren is the one he wants2 because he likes the way her hair moves, or something. A literal rainbow shines over Becca when she comes up wearing the jean jacket with the sheepskin every boy who grew up in Brooklyn has in both denim and leather. The editors can’t fake a rainbow.

I mean they can, but it would be absolutely monstorous to do that. Like, if anything could get me to stop watching this show, a fake ass rainbow is the thing to do it.

Lauren comes out with a glass of champagne and writes in her gournal and Arby’s like “she’s a risk, she’s been reserved, she doesn’t know if she wants to open up - but she loves me!” Lauren’s gournal is probably just her writing “Mrs. Lauren Ludfjdhlfjsfheljahdsfkchyk” over and over, let’s be real. Girl ain’t got a thought deep enough to journal about.

We’re seeing Arby’s family for the first time since he dragged Krystal to Scottsdale. The only advice his dad has for him is “Good luck, buddy.” Which is great advice from a parent who’s never been in this scenario. The Last Remaining Lauren is so nervous when meeting his parents because… she could be getting engaged to their son after all of this? I mean, I’ve met my significant others’ parents, both serious and not-so-serious, but usually it’s not that big of a deal.

God, I’m going to nitpick everything Lauren says in this episode, aren’t I? I mean, she also barely speaks, so...

Lauren admits that she’s not cool and she’s like “every date is amazing! Everything is amazing!” Arby basically mansplains how she’s feeling to her, and I barf. Lauren says the most words ever when she gives a toast and it’s so… bland. “Here’s to meeting the family of the man I love!!!!” Okay, Lauren. Okay. Lauren’s afraid of getting engaged and it not working out like it did previously, but Arby is good at reassuring her that everything is going to be okay. Which is a good thing to Lauren, but Arby’s like, “dude, am I going to constantly have to remind her that it’s okay, because we’ve actually never had a real conversation and that’s exhausting.”

How do you love someone you’ve never had a real conversation with?

Lauren talks to Arby’s mom about the fact that she loves Arby but she knows there’s another girl in the picture. Arby’s mom is actually really good in the moment because yeah, it’s hard. Can you imagine? She does her best to reassure Lauren and tells her to remain positive and then Lauren admits that she doesn’t like to talk about her feelings. I wonder what compelled Lauren to go on this show, then?

My favorite part is that Lauren, who just admitted she wasn’t cool, gets called “cool” by Arby’s mom.

The next day, Arby’s entire family is like, “alright, I guess we’ll meet Becca now, whatever,” and Becca rolls up with a basket and a gorgeous bouquet of flowers because no girl who works in PR isn’t gonna come through with the big guns, OKAY? Arby and Becca have a conversation that basically confirms what we later know to be true - Arby wants to want Becca, but Arby really wants a girl like Lauren. He doesn’t like the fact that Becca’s so confident in their relationship and wants to reassure her from time to time. He thinks he doesn’t want a woman to need him, but that’s all he wants3.

Arby’s family immediately takes to Becca - save for Arby’s mom, who is still Team Lauren. Becca turns that around with no effort and Arby’s mom is like, “yeah, they’re both great.” Arby’s dad asks Becca how she feels about Lauren, and Becca’s like, “uh… she’s great but we’re not best friends.” They didn’t need to air this. So boring. Arby’s dad is like, “eh, I’ll be fine regardless of who he picks.” Literally every time she sits down with a member of Arby’s family, they’re like, “So, Lauren, right?” What did she do yesterday to have these people so under her spell?!

Arby sits down with his family and talks through his dilemma, and his family is pretty much 100% in on Becca, because she’s the clear better choice. She doesn’t have reservations about their relationship.

Back at the live studio, Caroline has appeared! Caroline, who will make a great Paradise contestant alongside Bekah M and Tia, caused a mighty uproar at Women Tell All when she looked Arby dead in the eyes and said, “Bitch, I know what you did, and you should be ashamed of yourself. (Bitch was my personal inclusion.) Caroline still maintains that if what she’s heard is true, Arby is despicable and vile garbage. He doesn’t know what he wants and went through the process believing one thing but actually doing another.

It’s Arby’s last date with Lauren, and he’s feeling melancholic about it. That’s not the first time anyone’s used “melancholy” in reference to Arby. They’re going to Machu Picchu, on a private train, which obviously means someone’s getting Murdered on the Orient Express or they’re going to The Bad Place. Trains don’t mean anything good is going to come. Even Snowpiercer. That movie was about a train, and it was AWFUL. One of the worst movies I have ever seen. And they’re making a TV show about it?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO TILDA.

They hold hands and talk about the clouds and they make out. I have no interest in ever kissing Arby. Kissing Bandit, my ass. They even sneak away from the cameras to make out, blarg. Arby loves that she has a “speckle in her left eye” and I’m not sure what that means. Does she have a sty? They go to dinner, and Lauren basically says the most words she’s ever said ever. He talks about how what they have is inexplicable and he just has a feeling, and it’s like… Yeah, neither does the rest of America. Because she’s said 5 words so far. She talks about their life which is basically make dinner and go to bed. And hang out with their dogs.

... Normal couple stuff.

Oh, this really seems like a couple I’m on board with.

Arby is so in love with her. It’s so weird.

Bekah and Sienne are seating with Chris Harrison and Bekah spills some T - if Arby is really so conflicted, he shouldn’t propose at all. She also gives a look that is simultaneously horror and disgust at the idea of being where Becca and Lauren are right now.

Arby meets with Becca on a rainy day, and Becca looks so European Vacation chic. Look at her body suit. I love her. They get to walk the streets of Cusco4 and meet some alpacas. I would like to kiss an alpaca more than I would ever like to kiss Arby. We get some ominous talk while Becca prepares her hotel room for Arby’s arrival5 and we hear her say, in so many words, that a relationship with her and Arby would be an equal partnership, and Lauren’s basically just like every other girl he’s ever dated. They declare that they don’t have any problems in their relationship (oh honey) and they don’t have questions for each other (oh HONEY). It’s foreboding. I’m nervous.

There was a moment when the girls were getting dressed that I was convinced that Lauren was winning because Lauren clearly got the Winners’ Dress6. Arby, however, woke up that morning still conflicted, and he shouldn’t have gone through with it.

Arby’s wearing a navy suit, and Lauren steps out of the limo first. Whomp whomp. I forget every season they’re forced to talk to Chris Harrison for 10 seconds before stepping into meet their fate. I mean, it’s literally like meeting the devil.

Lauren gives a long speech about how she’s feeling but it doesn’t matter anyway so we’re moving on. Lauren goes from 0 to pissed in half a second, and she’s just confused. Arby’s like “I didn’t decide until this morning!” and I would be so mad if I had heard that come out of the mouth of the man I loved. Just sittin’ around, eating eggs, deciding we’re not going to be in love anymore. Okay, sure.

Lauren lets her real bitch flag fly in the limo exit, and she’s so snotty and snarky. She does ask how he’s going to get down on one knee over a decision he made earlier that day.

Becca looks gorgeous and ugh, knowing what happens, just proves Chris Harrison is literally leading her through the gates of hell. Arby literally can’t even smile when Becca is talking about how she wants to do the damn thing with him. He gets down on one knee and he chooses her today and every day “here on out”, which is going to make the next half hour very painful.

They transition us into the Happy Couple Montage - they’re in hammocks! They make pizza! They pretend they know how to play Chess! Becca looks so happy, and Arby’s just… there. He’s been thinking about Lauren. Why are you thinking about her, though? Because she’s an empty vessel of a person you can project your hopes and dreams onto? (Yes.) He feels guilty with Becca, because it’s not fair to be in a relationship with someone who’s only half-in. He wants to risk it all with Lauren, which basically sounds like he’s going to wear a colored tie instead of grey one.

That’s not a risk. The risk is that America is going to hate you - and her - after all of this goes down. What’s at risk is your reputation and your integrity, Arby. Lauren is not a risk. You’re leaving an interesting girl for an uninteresting (and far too young for you) girl.

Arby continues to claim that Becca’s seen his struggling with his relationship with her vs. Lauren, and Becca has no idea.

As in, they brought the cameras in, flew Becca there, to have him break up with her on camera. They’re gonna blindside her with CHRIS HARRISON. She thinks they’re going to have a “happy couple weekend”, for Christ’s sakes. She’s so happy-go-lucky and she’s not prepared.

They cut to the audience, where they’re booing Arby.

What we get is a split-screen, unedited version of the breakup between Arby and Becca. As soon as Arby arrives, Becca’s like, “you’re making me nervous.” She knows. He won’t look at her in the eye. He’s distracted by her tattoo. She’s still nervous. He’s still thinking about Lauren, and he can’t get past the feelings he has for her. And the longer the two of them hang out, the less likely he’ll be able to reconcile with Lauren.

Fuck Arby for this, and fuck him so hard.

You see Becca realize that all of this is going to be on camera, and that’s why he brought her there. To break up with her. In front of the cameras. That, to me, is the cruelest part. Not leaving her for the girl you didn’t pick - the harshness of doing it in front of the cameras for television.

Also, THAT IS HOW IT FUCKING WORKS. The more time you spend with your fiancee, the less likely it is that you’re going to be with someone else. Because you told her you wanted to marry her, you jackass.

Becca has the perfect and only worthy response: “Are you fucking kidding me?”

He acts like he wants her sympathy or something. We find out that Arby and Lauren had talked, and of course he had. He talks about “fairness” and how it’s not fair being half-in with Becca when he wants to be all-in with Lauren. He told Becca that basically he picked her because that’s what made sense logically, and that he couldn’t imagine marrying Lauren.

He tries to do the whole “make it better” thing, and she’s just baffled.

I mean, she’s doing much better than I would in this moment. They wouldn’t be able to legally air my footage because I would be in jail.

When Becca took off her ring, I screamed, THROW IT IN HIS FACE THROW IT AT HIM MAKE HIM CHOKE ON IT!!!!!!!!

Becca tells him if he was so conflicted, he shouldn’t have gotten down on one knee. He seems to want her sympathy for how hard he’s going to have to work. He’s a fucking child and I hate him.

I haven’t hated someone on TV like this in a while.

Becca gets up and walks away after they sit in silence for a while, and we see her packing up her stuff. Arby follows her.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

He follows her, and she’s like, “I’m not gonna, like, hug you good-bye, or anything.” Because why should she, really? He’s doing that annoying thing where he wants to control the narrative at this point.

He wants her to lash out so he can tell everyone she’s crazy.

He wants her to fight for him and beg for him to stay, so he can feel like he’s been won.

Arby asks if she wants a few minutes for herself, and she says she wants him to leave. He actually exits the house, and we hear Becca sobbing in the bathroom.

Arby goes BACK IN THE HOUSE. LEAVE, MOTHERFUCKER ELASFKLDSJF;DS LEEEEEEAVE

This is all so cruel and you can tell Becca wants nothing more than to be alone but literally she’s just surrounded by cameras and producers and people and Arby. Chris Harrison guides us down this horrible spiral, pretending not to be gleeful at the footage they recieved. This is all so unnecessary, and the split-screen doesn’t help much. And bullshit at the unediting scenes - they cut Arby’s camera to black right before he goes outside, because you know there was a producer out there yelling GET THE FUCK BACK IN THERE AND MAKE HER SMASH SHIT.

This is cruel. Arby sits on the couch and listens to her weep long enough that she thinks he’s left before he continues to try to talk to her and I want to punch him in the face.

Leave her alone. Do not touch her. She is not yours and she does not deserve your time. You’ve told her she’s not who you’re picking. She is being graceful and he is not worthy whatosever.

We thought Jake Pavelka was bad, Jesus.

He refuses to leave her while she’s crying and I am literally just saying ohmigodleaveohmigodleaveohmigodleaveohmigodleaveohmigodleave over and over. He doesn’t want to get married, he doesn’t want anything. He wants to chase forever and he definitely is in the middle of a mid-life crisis. He’s not in love with Lauren, either - he’s in love with control and having all the power. Becca wanted it to be equal. Arby could never.

We sit down with Becca and Chris Harrison, and she gets a loud round of applause. Because she was graceful when she didn’t need to be. She’s going to see him again, tomorrow. With Lauren.

Oh, god. I hope someone throws a tomato at Arby.

Random Assessments from the Desk of Amanda:

Who was more sociopathic - Arby v. Becca, Luke v. Stassi, Bentley v. Emily, or Joe v. Juelia? Answer: Chris Harrison.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend and I’m 100% sure my friend Maggie is going through my Instagram and filling out an application for me to go on the show. Can someone tell her to wait until we at least see our options from La Bachelorette? Love you, Magz.

Becca’s got a nice butt. Like, she’s got long legs and a really nice butt. She’s gonna crush it.

This blog was NOT sponsored by Arby’s. However, if they decide in retrospect, I’ll take it.

My favorite part of the episode was the camera cutting to Tia in the audience as she's realizing she may not be the next Bachelorette after all.

I hope Becca’s first question is “Why the cameras, though?”

ABC really didn’t GAF this season though, ruining the potential of Another Mesnick by putting it on the cover of last week’s US Weekly. ↩︎

Probably because he’s projecting some kind of opinion on her like she reminds him of the woman who broke his heart on national television last time. ↩︎

Seriously - if a man tells you he wants a strong, confident woman, he absolutely does not. Your strength will, to him, read as an affront to his masculinity and his own personal strength. Trust me. I’m going through this right now. He only wants you to be strong in a manner that benefits him. The minute you try to work on your own, that’s when you’ll see it. ↩︎

You’re telling me that Lauren “We’ll Make Dinner” B got MACHU PICCHU and Becca gets to cry in the rainy wind?! ↩︎

Like Postmates, but worse. ↩︎

For more on the Winners’ Dress theory, listen to my podcast! ↩︎

#The Bachelor #The Bachelor Recap #reality tv #Reality Tv Recap #Arie Luyendyk #arie is TRAAASSH #this is the cruelestt #poor becca #why did this episode need to exist