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drakaripykiros130ac · 2 months

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What is it with this Targaryens are blood supremacists bullshit?

Let’s make some things clear right now:

1. Targaryen blood is superior. It’s not some sort of twisted Nazi belief, like some people make it out to be. It’s actual fact.

Sue the Targaryens for constantly pointing that out and lacking modesty. It doesn’t make it less true.

Their blood gives them godly features and the ability to ride dragons. The hypocrisy of Andals never ceases to amaze me: they have a tendency to complain about how Targaryens have ‘queer customs’ but what actually bothers them is that they choose to keep their ‘superior blood’ within their family and not share it with others. Andals criticize Targaryens for being different and yet trample over one another for a chance to marry into their family so that their offspring would have godly features and ride dragons. If Targaryens are so “bad”, then why don’t Andals keep to themselves too?

2. When did it become an actual problem to want to stick to your own kind?

Valyrians are not originally from Westeros. Their home was destroyed. They found another home, of people who constantly judge them and look at them differently despite hundreds of years after conquest.

Despite the many flaws in the show, there is something that actually stuck with me: when Daemon said, “Valyria is gone. We don’t belong anywhere.”

This actually broke my heart a little and got me thinking: how many Targaryens actually felt like strangers in their own home despite having been born and raised there?

I mean, Andals constantly treat them differently and yet blame them for wanting to stick to their own Valyrian kind (Targaryens, Velaryons and Celtigars).

The Conquest in itself is no excuse. The Kingdoms were divided and at constant war with one another, which destroyed the smallfolk. The Targaryens took away their individual powers, united the Kingdoms and gave the people a better chance at peace. The Andals are pissed because they lost their autonomy? Well, considering what they used that autonomy for, they shouldn’t have had it in the first place.

I applaud the Targaryens for taking charge and conquering Westeros for a better future. I mean, do you honestly believe that they would have been accepted in Westeros if they hadn’t? That they would have showed up with their dragons, asked to be a part of the Andals’ world and they would have been accepted with hugs and kisses? Don’t make me laugh. They would have never survived if the Andals kept control of Westeros.

And do keep in mind that if their intentions were actually bad, the Targaryens would have turned Westeros into the new Valyria. They didn’t do that though, did they? They even accepted and converted to their faith.

3. Valyrians are actually attracted to their own kind. So what? It’s their custom and nature. It’s the one thing they asked for. The only exception. To be able to keep their traditions of marrying within their family, not only in order to keep their blood pure for the purpose of controlling dragons, but also because they feel comfortable with one another. They connect with one another. They don’t want to lose ties with their true home, with their history, language, culture etc.

Andals will never be able to understand Valyrians. It’s called having a connection with someone. It can be both physical and emotional (like it was with Daemon and Rhaenyra). Why is that such a crime?

Targaryens are constantly criticized for wanting to stick to their own kind, yet the Andals have been treating them like strangers for hundreds of years simply because they are different.

Who is the blood supremacist here?

Who are the ones who constantly discriminate and create the division lines? Answer: the Andals.

#Let’s keep in mind that Targaryens never tried to impose Valyrian traditions on Westerosi. They wanted those traditions kept for themselves.#And yet the Westerosi couldn’t even let them have that.#To be honest now I am kind of sorry they didn’t do that considering all that went down.#Queen Visenya should have burned the Starry Sept to the ground and Westeros should have become the new Valyria. It would have been better.#house targaryen #canon asoiaf #asoiaf meta #team black #pro team black #house of the dragon #hotd #asoiaf #rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targaryen #pro house targaryen #the blacks #loyalty to House Targaryen!#daemyra

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miranagi · 6 months

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divine tree

#i love the theory that hashirama becomes a tree #so much better than the canon “explanation” for him passing #hashirama senju #senju hashirama #hashirama #naruto #myart

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otaku553 · 11 months

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The eventual kazuha and sanemi dynamic

#kny crossover #genshin impact #kaedehara kazuha #shinazugawa sanemi #one day I’ll finish writing the first chapter. one day #anyways I love thinking about these two #i think platonic relationships are so fascinating #like you could definitely construe so many different friendships as romantic ships but to me these two as friends has so much potential #sanemi canonically dislikes Giyuu because he gives off a ‘better than everyone else there’ vibe that is purely unintentional #and canonically is friends with Iguro for reasons I still cannot figure out #sanemi’s so interesting because it’s not like he’s a purely chaotic character despite what his first appearance would suggest #the manga and genya’s memories clearly show that he has a lot of respect for oyakata-sama because oyakata-sama is not high and mighty and-#does in fact understand every sacrifice that goes into the battles that they fight that he must sit on the back lines for #sanemi is a very loyal person I think once someone has earned his loyalty even though he owes about showing this in very aggressive ways #I think he goes off against genya especially because genya fighting as a demon slayer goes against everything that sanemi has fought for #since they lost their happy lives sanemi has been fighting for at least one of them to still be able to live normally and he probably thinks #that Genya spat on that sentiment by becoming a demon slayer anyways #anyways I think sanemi and kazuha would have such an interesting dynamic #sanemi has the authoritative upper hand as a pillar but kazuha isn’t even a demon slayer which means sanemi’s position doesn’t do much #beyond acting as an indicator that he is one of the strongest of the corps anyways.#they’ve both lost a lot but sanemi still has someone to fight for whereas kazuha is holding onto the last embers of a corpse’s wishes #and I think them having a talk about their motivations would be very good #because I don’t think at this point that kazuha has very much reason to live beyond carrying on Tomo’s wishes #if the swords are parallels to visions I think Kazuha’s turning point will be when he receives his own nichirin sword #sorry for the long tags lmao

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bonefall · 17 days

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So, your Clear Sky post is absolutely horrifying, but it was very needed, so thank you. What are your general thoughts on tackling his abuse for the AU? Like you've said, pretending he's a good guy is not the way to go, but are you planning on toning down *some* of the situations, just to give some of the cats a break? Clear Sky is a very realistic depiction of abusers, but that seems to come across even without victim number 25, yknow? I'm very curious about how you'd like to go about this.

My most recent big change was bringing Slash back into the fold, because I realized that it was actually a disservice to not address where DOTC's themes dip into Colonialism. It's a hard topic, and I'm still trying to work out the details, but I realized it was important.

With how BB!DOTC is such a MASSIVE overhaul, to properly address abuse and the ways it impacts you, ableism and its violence, and xenophobia broadly, a huge reworking of Slash belonged here too. He's one of the greatest examples of how badly WC demonizes non-Clanborn cats. I shouldn't dance around it.

That's what I need to do with Skystar.

MANY of his victims have happier endings than canon, though. Bumble is one of the most famous, bumped up into a major character and directly responsible for the formation of ThunderClan. Bright Storm is taking most of Gray Wing's roles. Birch and Alder are getting examined, with either a father who wants his kids back or Milkweed as the mate of Misty.

A lot of people will die because of him, even more will be hurt, but I see BB!DOTC as a story about victims and survivors.

Others might grab POVs here and there, but as a response to canon which I feel is Clear Sky's story told in many parts, I center this rewrite around Thunder Storm. The path of kindness he marches down, with love and with anger, and the people he helps.

So BB!Star Flower...

Previously I was playing her as ENTIRELY just manipulating Clear Sky. She was loyal to One Eye and trying to get at Skystar to bleed him dry for 8 lives to sacrifice; but connected to Thunderstar over recognizing him as a victim who deserves her idea of justice. So, she offers Thunderstar the final kill, so her father will be grateful to him and he'll get power AND the death of his abuser.

(When Thunderstar looks upon Skystar, pathetic and neutralized down to one life, he thinks about the collateral damage that will descend upon the forest if he accepts the deal. He decides that he has found the line between Justice and Justification. Of course he wants the power to make his enemies cower, protect his people, and eliminate Clear Sky so he never threatens them again; that's not the problem.

He can still do these things. He wouldn't NEED the power of a war god to do so.

But if One Eye returns, he will be endlessly hungry, ruthlessly dedicated to revenge, and set out to devour the whole forest. Everything would get worse, and even more people he loves would die. It's where his desire to destroy a monster would lead to him BECOMING one.)

Even on its face, it was previously missing an element. There's a step between "Starf decides to bring One Eye back" and "Starf offers Thunderstar the final kill" that was bare. This is the piece that was missing-- That she, herself, is trying to reach out to the only person who's ever really understood her.

But more importantly... I do feel this topic belongs here, in BB!DOTC. Abuse is a MAJOR theme. SKYSTAR is a monster already. He's harmed two wives in BB (Bright Storm and Falling Cry) and played toxic games with all three kits (Thunder Storm, Pale Sky, Tiger Sky).

And I'd avoid Star Flower being abused... why? Because it's uncomfortable to confront the pattern that Clear Sky displays? That in-canon, he tries to cut all his victims into the same ideal shape, from Storm to Thunder to Star Flower? ...it should be uncomfortable. Everything that I described in Clear Sky Is A Monster is rooted in the same desire for control, power, and punishment most abusive people share, he just happens to be a severe example.

Yes. That includes how he treats his child and romantic partners. The parallels that are drawn between Starf and Thunder are there because he wants power in the form of obedience. Starf replaces the son as a narrative award for his "growth" of not killing random people anymore for a while.

A cookie cutter is an effective tool because IT ONLY MAKES ONE SHAPE.

You know what's more uncomfortable? Reading canon!DOTC and seeing someone who hurt you reflected almost perfectly in the character the writers think did nothing wrong. Because of "good intentions" that were not there.

I will say though, just to be clear; I don't see a purpose in being more than PG-13 about serious topics for this project. I promise none of my intentions have changed. Nothing will be more graphic or gorey than canon WC-- just more intentional.

I'm keeping the sacrifice because it's dope. No one is taking this from me. Girl Moment: Killed her awful husband 8 times to count as 8 sacrifices and offered the last life to her buddy as a show of good will. How else do you make friends outside of high school

But I know now that Star Flower NEEDS to keep the canon fact she has very little agency, UNTIL that moment she snaps.

She's sacrificing one abuser to try and bring back a bigger, badder one, because in spite of everything, her father One Eye always made her feel safe. Even though he promised her off to Skystar, and expected her to be willing to die for him. She's followed every command, every order, past the death of his mortal vessel.

The first, and only, selfish choice she's ever made was in reaching out to Thunderstar to offer him the power of her father.

Thunderstar's Justice is a story about a Thunder Storm at the pinnacle of his arc, how the survivors of his Clan are settling into the new normal after the carnage of The First Battle, how Skystar's arrogance brings a violent god to the Forest... and the connection Thunderstar makes with the daughter of a monster.

#Kronk meme: ''Oh Yeah. It's all coming together''#I'll be making the fragments in another post #Just because this one's getting really long #It works well as an explanation of my intentions #I think I had been making a mistake previously to conceive of BB!Starf as a femme fatale who seduced Sky #Again: I'm not perfect! As I analyze and re-read with a more critical eye. My art changes.#Tho I will admit I do like the idea of a Starf who is totally cognizant of how she can manipulate a villain #Into doing what she wants. I do love myself a powerful and scheming woman #It's that it didn't fit my story or my themes OR even the purpose of BB as a fixit that addresses canon #Better bones au #BB!DOTC #BB!Star Flower #BB!Skystar #BB!Thunder Storm #Also imo this philosophy will let me make BB!One Eye what I think he deserves and works best as #THE WORSE OF TWO EVILS #The Tyrant of Tyrants #And man.... the idea that Skystar becomes the Clan patron of war...#The God of Summer laughs at him.#''Outdone and reeling your wounded pride speaks the words your tender mouth can never say''#''That you were outclassed and now you obsess over the bigger monster you aren't good enough to become''#''You fell into the step of a lion and think you can replicate what my paw does without effort.''#Cw abuse #Tw abuse #Abuse #Child abuse

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s0fter-sin · 5 months

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09 soapghost au, ghost was a member of soap’s unit before roba and they were together until he was taken. when he comes back and takes up the ghost mantle, simon riley is declared KIA and the hope that soap had let kindle in his heart that he’d come back to him dies. he throws himself into training, into becoming captain so he won’t let down another soldier the way he let simon down

then he recruits ghost to the 141 and ghost sees how much he’s changed, how much harder he is; slow to smile, never relaxing and he realises how much he fucked up by never reaching out. he’d thought he’d be better off without him, without the shell of the man he used to love but he’d done nothing but hurt him

after the close call with shepherd, soap wants to get right back into it, wants to hunt makarov down for almost getting his sergeant and lieutenant killed and ghost is yelling at him to just take it easy and heal first when soap snaps back, “i can’t lose anyone else! not again!” and ghost just rips his balaclava off, showing his face for the first time in years…

and soap says nothing. he just looks at him, completely unreadable. ghost clenches the balaclava in his hand, waiting for anything; even injured, soap can still pack a mean punch and he’s waiting for it, almost hoping for it… but he still does nothing. just stares

“well? c’mon!” he growls, stalking in closer. “let me have it! tell me how pissed you are! that i left you alone! that i ruined you the moment i touched you! that you regret ever fucking looking at me! scream, shout, say something!” until he’s leaning over soap’s chair, chest heaving

soap’s hand lifts and ghost can’t help his flinch before planting himself, ready to be struck, longing for it, to be punished the way he punishes himself-

soap’s hand gently cups his cheek and he freezes, breath catching as his thumb caresses the snake bite scars on his lip; feather-light and reverent. just like he used to

“you’re as beautiful as the day i lost you”

#i am not immune to the romantic scene of all time ft mr stoic how to train your dragon 2 #og soap is Young for a captain #like even if we arent given a canon age hes still like 30s maybe 40s if were pushing it #i dont know a lot about military shit but that seems young to me #so just soap who let himself become cold and focused everything on forcing himself to be better faster strong to protect everyone #until he finds himself as a captain of his own elite unit #handpicking men #and if he loses a single one it will be unequivocally his fault bc he chose them to be here #even ghost #this man that has no history beyond a few years of military service #no name no family even getting his blood type out of him was like pulling teeth #but sometimes #sometimes his complaints ring just a little too familiar #the way he holds himself tugging at his memory #even the way he idly flips a knife when waiting to be called in to interrogate someone #he doesnt dare to hope not when hope has never gotten him anywhere before #but then ghost takes the balaclava off and his walled off heart beats anew #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #talk to me ghost #soapghost #ghostsoap #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #soap cod #ghoap #09 soapghost #09 ghostsoap #save post

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pbnmj · 9 months

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never before seen middle part comic noir… I’m obsessed u draw him so nicely 😭😭 so blessed

NOT THE LAST MIDDLE PART COMIC NOIR I INTEND TO DRAW!!!! age discourse/noir timeline discussions i see on the dash have started to make me think about the overlapping year (1933....) and how that could be tied to the 'canon event'. and specifically the potential of comic!noir having a crazy angsty bittersweet time about itsv noir having longer with robbie because he happens to be born earlier in his universe. but also comic!pete having to grapple with knowing what happened to robbie in his universe and how he can't stand by and watch a version of himself lose robbie when he could change things. which is why i have this draft of a page :)

AND GOD DUDE THE WAY U DRAW COMICS NOIR (baby... baby boy) ABSOLUTELY HAS PLAYED A PART IN HOW I DRAW HIM !!! he is so devastatingly young in your depiction of him and i felt like the way i drew the comic version of him had to change and adjust towards that!!!! i love the comic art but that is not a 16-17 year old kid and i swear if the comic reflected how young he was i would have had the world's worst category 10 woman moment

#so what if im playing fast and loose with the idea of spiderverse canon.' miguel wouldnt let' BLAH BLAH MY CITY NYEOW!!!!!#all the stuff in my psd folders are just noir comics that are wips. i must find time to line color and post them #the other itsv noir-robbie comic technically takes place almost concurrently with this one...#where 90214B is going through the same motions as comic 90214 . canon events will be disrupted. i promise.#anyway yes. noirverse enjoyers grab your screentone brushes!!!!!!!!!#my art #noir #sooner or later i will unleash a bunch of noir comics into the tumblr stratosphere. only the rsi holds me back #and i do not think this has to be said but ofc ur art kills me. every day. i love ur noir comics so dearly #and you are ofc the noirobbie pioneer who got me to read 08-09 again because i was enjoying ur content so much!!!!#and for the better. i have become so much worse about noir!pete #i have to save him. he's so fucking young (<- cannot save peter parker because he is lines on a comic page) (<- also a tragedy enjoyer)

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muninnhuginn · 1 month

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Thinking about "your weakness is how you always want to be the hero" and how the series returns to this at the end

Li Lianhua hated how he acted as Li Xiangyi and spent years trying to distance himself from it, but ultimately he still fell back into the similar patterns, for all his added experience

His main priority was always to "do the right thing" regardless of how that would impact on those around him. And it *did* impact those around him. From Qiao Wanmian and Shan Gudao as Li Xiangyi to Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng as Li Lianhua

Giving the Styx flower to the emperor so he could use it as leverage to guarantee Fang Duobing and his family's safety. Using the last of his power to save Yun Biqiu. Constantly putting others above himself whilst actively refusing to recognise that his self-sacrificial nature would hurt those he cared about most

And sure, he thinks he's going to die anyway. They're going to be hurt regardless and he can't do anything about that. His odds are low of the Styx flower even working. But ultimately, he refuses to even consider trying. Li Xiangyi has been dead a long time and Li Lianhua is just there to tide things over. What value is the life of a ghost

To the end, he lives and dies a hero. To the end, he refuses to live for himself.

#sth about how he almost managed to live for himself but his past and need to do right doomed him.#those missing years before canon starts were probably the closest he got but even then the knowledge he couldn't use martial arts #must have killed him (no pun intended). because he'd put so much stock in his identity as sigu sect leader + hero + prodigy #so to have such a massive part of his identity stripped from him... honestly it doesn't seem that he ever fully comes to terms with it #but he makes progress and he tries to do better. + that leads to him becoming a different type of 'hero' than the symbol he was originally #deep down he wants to help people with all he has but his capacity isn't infinite + at some point can only be taken from himself #mysterious lotus casebook #mlc spoilers #also to be clear I mention shan gudao not to say lxy should have realised earlier bc for a lot of the time he was too young to notice #and later on sgd did better at hiding his intentions. but more for how lxy tunnel visioned towards his idea of righteousness #and steamrolled over everyone else. both sgd and qwm were placed far below the importance of the sigu sect #and lxy's arrogance made it such that sigu became reliant on him alone as he shut others out (hence domino fall once he went).#idk if he could ever have 'fixed' what was btwn him and sgd bc it was so deep rooted but I do think that his actions #helped convince sgd that sgd was entirely in the right to choose his path #mlc #edit: just went and checked the exact wording of the TL and it's actually 'you like being a hero' rather than 'you want to be the hero'#which is different but still close enough in implications for my point to stand (I think)

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blade-that-was-broken · 2 days

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“Hey Clay?”

“Yeah?”

“I know you don’t really like to talk about your older bro-...”

“Did he call again? Ignore it, he’ll stop. Honestly, he should know better by now,” Clay grumbled, not looking up from his project. Last week, Bruce had called him, out of the blue. It had been a weird phone call, acting as if the last several years didn’t happen. As if Bruce didn’t just pick up and move across the country the moment he could, leaving the rest of them to their mother.

He knew he was holding a ridiculous grudge. It had been years. And Clay might have gotten over it eventually, if Bruce hadn’t replaced them with his perfect family. He barely stayed in contact - even with the brothers who weren’t as mad at him. Branch had been young when Bruce left, barely six years old. Clay wasn’t a whole ton better but at least Branch knew him to an extent. Branch at least knew his favorite color. Clay doubted Branch knew the first thing about Bruce.

“He… he’s here.”

Bruce wouldn’t leave his resort and his wife and well, now his kids. It was like he expected everyone to pick up and go visit him just because he lived on an exotic island or whatever. As if Clay didn’t have responsibilities or Floyd wasn’t constantly traveling. As if it was so easy for Grandma to leave the house and fly across the country. Bruce barely called and he never, ever visited - much less out of the blue like this.

Clay stopped and looked up, his head swiveling around to look back at his best friend. Her curly blonde hair was wrapped up in a messy ponytail, which was fairly normal, but the uncertain and awkward expression on her face was definitely not the norm for her. “What?” he asked, shocked.

She nodded. “Yeah. There is a guy down in the courtyard. He said he’s your older brother.”

Clay shook his head. Bruce would never leave his precious wife and resort to visit him, especially when he knew how much Clay was upset with him. Had been for years. Honestly, aside from one phone call a week or two ago, Clay hadn’t really heard from him in years. Clay could have chalked it up to Bruce just knowing that he was angry with him for abandoning him - them - with their mother the first moment he could, but he barely kept in contact with Floyd and Branch as well. And they didn’t hold the hard feelings that Clay did. Not that Clay was much better; he didn’t talk to any of his brothers much either.

“There is no way,” he protested with a huff, rolling his eyes. She must be mistaken, there was no other option. “He’s never made a trip out here. He would never leave his resort. What is he doing out here?” Viva hesitated, glancing away, which was very strange for her. She was very straightforward and easily excitable. Clay felt his brow furrow a little. “Viva…”

“He’s not… like how you said.”

He just sighed and took a deep breath. Bruce definitely had a way with people; he always had. Granted, Clay probably painted him in mostly a crappy light, due to the fact that whenever the subject did come up - which was extremely rare - it was not often positive. Clay had a lot of anger and probably a lot of resentment. It was a work in progress. “Look, Viv. I know he’s easy to believe. He seems soooooo friendly and charming that you want to just swoon or whatever. He’s got that effect on people but…”

“No.”

“No?” Clay asked, confused. She said it so strong, so flat, so sure and Clay wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“Clay… he’s not like that at all. He was actually really quiet and awkward and super uncertain but held him with some kind of…rigidness? At least as much as he could,” Viva looked uncomfortable, like she had seen something she really didn’t like. He wasn’t sure what that was about. At the moment, he was more hung up on the description which did not sound like Bruce at all.

He scoffed. “Bruce?”

“He didn’t say that was his name,” Viva continued, still uncertain, glancing towards the window. “But you only have one older brother right?”

Clay blinked and his whole world came to a standstill. “I….”

“Clay?”

Older brothers.

There was no way, though. He hadn’t heard anything from him since their parent’s divorce and when he was practically dragged away almost kicking and screaming. Clay barely remembered it; he tried not to. Everyone had been crying but Branch’s screaming, going along with everyone else's tears kind of drowned everything out. It hadn’t been a pretty memory and Clay avoided thinking about it. Coupling that with his mother’s systematic way of erasing anything that evoked him or their father from their house and their lives, it only took a few years for everyone to stop considering them entirely.

His eyes widened. There was no way. There was no way it was possible.

Clay didn’t even think. He bolted out the door, not even bothering to strip off his lab coat. There was no way. It had been at least fifteen years. What were the chances? After fifteen years? There was no way.

He had to be sure.

Making his way down to the courtyard, with Viva shouting after him, he scanned the area upon slamming the doors open. It had been a decade and a half. He had no idea what to look for anymore. They had all changed.

“He’s by the fountain, sitting on the stone wall,” Viva supplied.

That helped. He made his way over, still looking over the area until he spotted a more middle aged guy with short hair and bandages on his arm. When he looked, Viva nudged him, giving him the sign that who she had talked to was him. Definitely not Bruce.

He looked over at Clay and recognized him, suddenly nervous. Clay just stared. That was all he could really muster up to do. “Uh… hi, Clay. I know you might not really remember me but…”

Clay didn’t say a word at first, just launching himself at his big brother, knocking him into the grass behind in a hug. He clearly wasn’t expecting it but he took to the action pretty quickly, wrapping his arms around Clay’s back for support and to keep him from being tossed around.

“John Dory.”

Clay couldn’t remember the last time he thought of him, much less said his name out loud. He hated that. His eyes were squeezed shut, just soaking up the firm grasp his oldest - his oldest - brother had on him. He had so much to say and so many questions but only one happened to come out. It had been fifteen years and now John Dory just showed up out of the blue.

“How did…how did you find me?”

It wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say. There was a lot he wanted to say and do but his mouth had run off with him, questioning so much that he really didn’t actually care the answers to. Because he was here. After fifteen years.

“Bruce told me.”

Clay shifted slightly. “B-Bruce?” He supposed it might have been easier to find a resort owner before some crazy older college student. Although Clay felt like he had his name out there more than his other older brother, as he had written papers and had been featured in several journals. Although it might not have been in things John might have looked through. They could be pretty niche.

“I…” John tensed a little and hesitated. “He found me. The hospital found him, I guess? They found him and called him. I’ve been staying with him for my recovery.”

Clay’s heart dropped as he pulled away, trying to assess. He scrambled off his brother, stepping back. “Your what?”

John grimaced.

Viva nudged his shoulder and spoke quietly. “Clay.”

Clay’s eyes were drawn downward. Sure, there were bandages on his arm but John’s grip didn’t seem to be very weak so he doubted that would be so debilitating and honestly, his legs seemed fi-… where was his leg?

“W-Where is your leg?”

“Sudan… I think?”

Clay just stared.

“Right, sorry. Kinda dark humor there,” John muttered, sitting up a little more. “I was… I have been, I guess, in the military for a while. Over ten years I guess, uhm… it’s a long story. But some stuff happened, my arm got kinda burned up but it’ll be okay. Head got banged around a bit but that should be fine too. The biggest thing was my leg which… well, that ended my military career pretttyyyy quick. The hospital found Bruce and yeah, I’ve been staying with him but…. I wanted to see you. Needed to see you.”

There was a pause.

“Sorry, that was… that was a lot of words.”

“When Bruce called…” Clay drifted off in realization. Bruce had called to tell Clay about John.

“He didn’t want to freak you out.”

“But I hung up.”

John nodded. “Bruce didn’t really tell me anything about what happened with you guys or anything but I just… I bought a plane ticket and well, here I am.”

Here he was.

“Does Bruce even know you’re here?” Clay asked, uncertainly. With John’s state, it probably meant that Bruce was kind of taking care of him, which meant he was in charge of his welfare and health. John was still on leg crutches and probably couldn’t get around super well. It couldn’t have been that long since it happened.

John snorted. “I am a grown man.”

“Missing a leg!”

“So?” John asked, his nose wrinkling. Clay almost felt like he had been slapped. Floyd and Branch did the same thing. “I knew a guy who lost both and guess what? He lives alone. Does just fine.”

“He’s probably freaking out.”

“Bruce? Probably.”

“Then why are you here?”

John tried not to look hurt. He would have done a great job too, if he hadn’t looked away. It was a telltale sign and Clay noticed. He didn’t even realize what he had said and how it came out until it was too late. He cursed himself; he didn’t want John to think he didn’t want him here. “I haven’t seen you in fifteen years, Clay. No matter how much time passes or what happens, I love you.”

Shit.

“Clay… he’s so cute,” Viva sniffled. “You never told me-”

“That I existed?” John guessed, making Clay cringe. “That seems to be an ongoing theme.”

“JD, I just…” he didn’t really know what to say. He didn’t have any excuse, really. He could blame a lot on his mother but that felt wrong to say to him. There wasn’t any real excuse that would make anyone feel better.

“It’s alright,” John replied, although Clay could tell there was some struggle. Which made sense. No one wanted to feel forgotten by loved ones. Especially not the ones still alive. “Bruce didn’t tell his kids I existed either. I’m getting over it.”

He shouldn’t have to get over it, Clay thought. He shouldn’t have had to do any of it. He should have spent the last fifteen years with them. He should have been there for birthdays, for their graduations, for their important moments. He should have been there when Bruce got married. For Floyd’s first show. For Clay’s best college awards. Bruce’s kids should have known their uncle their entire life, not just now and so forth.

“She’s dead, our mother,” Clay said, blandly. He blamed her a lot, for pretty much everything. Not the divorce itself; that was both of them, but for cutting them off from his brother. For forcing his name to never be spoken. For erasing his memory. It was one thing to keep them away from their father, although Clay didn’t like that either, but to keep them away from their older brother was unforgivable for him.

“So is dad. Over ten years.”

Ten years. Over even. John lost his family, became an adult and lost his father. No wonder he joined the military.

“Six.”

“I tried looking for you,” John promised, like it was something he had to convince Clay of. Like he didn’t want Clay to think that he didn’t try. It wasn’t meant to make Clay feel worse and Clay knew it but it did anyway. Because Clay hadn’t. He hadn’t looked. He hadn’t even considered it. “Before joining the military. After too, a little, I suppose. I’m no detective I guess.”

Clay just stared at him. Did he think…?

“I know…” John frowned again. “I know you’re mad at Bruce but I can’t… I… Clay, I want to be…to have… to be in some part of your life and I just…”

“I’m not mad at you.”

Clay hated the almost hopeful look that John stared at him with. It was a expression that screamed he wasn’t expecting this reaction. “You… aren’t?”

“No. Of course not. Our parents were petty and bitter and it is all their fault. JD, you never… you didn’t abandon anyone. Dad took you away and mom decided to try and erase that part of her life. Have you blamed yourself this whole time? For years?”

“No, no, I just… I don’t want you to think I stayed away or something.”

“I believe you,” Clay promised. “And I’m so glad you’re here.”

#soldier on au #john dory #clay #viva #the one au where clay's anger is not directed around jd ever #i guess i have another like that too but still; this is different idk i guess #sorry yall ive been super busy #and trying to draw #along with the million other things of life #but this was mostly written so there is that #it's a little longer too!!#branch and possibly clay are gonna make jd a kickass leg #i just feel like clay is intellectually very smart while branch is good at literally making things???#idk it's just i dunno #i both have all the ideas for jd and branch and ZERO ideas too #there's like no in between #but like guyyyyyysssssss #they so cute thooooooo #ironically JD kinda becomes a buffer for bruce and clay which is hilarious considering canon #or what is usually written about jd and clay #but it gets better #and here i am ranting in the tags again #i love it when people reblog and there are thoughts in the tags tho cause i read them and it's fun

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