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racke7 · 1 year

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Villain Izuku

Reading through the “Villain Izuku”-tag is so weird.

Like, you have a bunch of different approaches:

“The League were the good guys actually” (UwU they’re just misunderstood)

“Society was mean to me, so that means it’s fine if I murder thousands of innocents”

“Izuku is a Super Mastermind and all the crazies among the Villains are totally fine with following his orders, since he gives them Results and would never betray them because he’s so smart and cool”

“The useless quirkless kid with no value was kidnapped by the Villains and forced to do Villain-things (instead of them just... you know, recruiting an obviously-useful Villain), but he secretly wants to be a Hero“

“Morally grey means that I can tell everyone that they suck, and they still have to be nice to me, because I’m so cool”

And having a bunch of different types is great, but like... I’m sorry, what?

Izuku is a molotov-cocktail of suppressed rage, and I can easily see him getting in trouble with the law simply because he used lethal force against someone he shouldn’t have (because he considered them a threat, and other people disagreed).

I could see him growing heavily disillusioned with the Hero Industry, and the way that they’re “enforcing the status-quo”, up until he finally snaps and tries to force a revolution.

I can even see him becoming a Vigilante pre-UA, and using enough violence that he falls into the category of “Villain who attacks Villains” rather than being referred to as a “Vigilante”.

Or have him try to reach out to help people through internet-forums until he accidentally creates an organization that’s technically-illegal, and he defends it to the death on behalf of how it lets him help people.

But like... those two sets of “Villain Izuku” don’t have a lot of overlap, do they?

The League is an organization led by an egocentric man-child, and funded by a sadistic monster who thinks that human experimentation is actually totally okay (since he’s the one doing it).

Izuku buckling to the pressure of society and deciding to murder innocents (for the lolz), rather than drag society kicking and screaming through a revolution (with some unfortunate innocent casualties)? Lame.

Setting up Izuku to be BBC’s Moriarty? That kind of character-story was doomed from the start (because it doesn’t make any fucking sense), and trying to follow in BBC’s deranged footsteps isn’t really a good look.

Kidnapping a quirkless kid because they won’t be missed? Sure. Forcing them to do “Villainy”? Nah. Quirkless kids are worthless (everyone knows that) just recruit someone with a properly Villainous-quirk instead. If you just want to write whump, have them rescue him from some kind of sadistic cage-match set-up instead, at least that would give the Villains a good motive to traumatize him (nobody would bet on the quirkless kid, but holy shit look at the violent little bastard go).

And “morally grey means that I’m just better than you people”? Ugh. I get that trying to write an “and our hero swoops in and saves the day”-fic is difficult to do when the problem is a societal one instead of someone trying to punch people in the face, but geez.

It’s just... I really don’t understand this fandom sometimes.

#also - the Hero vs Villains school-tournament? fun as a concept but also suspiciously divisive between students #like... what possible reason could Nedzu have for pitting classmates against each other? with psychological stakes?#if it's a ''the heroes defend X / the villains destroy X'' kind of exercise? sure. it's a competitive environment #and both scenarios are hero-plausible. as in both sides have ''hero objectives'' regardless of how their teams are referred to #but the kind of psychological minefield that is the setting for this trope? holy shit dude. i can't imagine Nedzu doing that to his students #they're HIS students - i can totally imagine him doing it to people he really doesn't like - but his own students?#it's a fun setting and i don't hate it - but it's REALLY weird as an idea for a school-activity #boku no hero academia #anime #rants #musings #then again - i might be somewhat tainted from the worm-fandom - bcs there we have a LOT of ''believable villain-arcs''#and it's really easy to see how someone could just go ''fuck everyone'' when stuck in always-miserable Brockton Bay #so i look at ''izuku is a villain'' and i go ''and you do interesting things with it right?'' and then they don't #bcs they've seen so few ''villain protagonist''-fics that they feel like that on its own is all the ''interesting'' the story needs

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aftermathing · 9 months

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I want to kill myself so fucking badly. I want to stop existing in constant torment and isolation and disappear whatever way is most convenient for me. I want to die through any method I possibly can. But then I think about elderly trans people.

#I want to transition and be accepted and supported and I can't let down everyone who died just so I could have the opportunity #to reach this age and live without constant unending fear in my house or in public #I'm going to turn 21 soon and I'm so angry thinking about how many queer people didn't get to turn 21 #As much abuse as I'm living through and as worthless I feel just breathing oxygen at least I wasn't killed in the street #The first time I cut my hair #I did endure lgbtphobia i was sexually harassed and assaulted as a CHILD for having short hair #Correctively raped and laughed at for ever possibly thinking I could have a chance at being liked by the prettiest girl I'd ever seen #Constantly called nasty and unnatural and unholy and demonic by strangers and my family #I want to die but more than I just want to live somebody please help me live #Op

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medicinemane · 5 months

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#one problem that's got me right now; aside from my stomach audibly churning wanting something more; is no one listens #people try to listen; and people think they listen; but they don't actually listen #there's always advice to be given; there's always their own perspective to be imposed on things #and everyone means well; everyone's real damn caring you know? that's part of why I don't just say this shit #but no one actually listens #...why is it that so often when I listen to people they're like 'Exactly!'; but when people listen to me it's like... you didn't hear me?#am I just pickier? or when I listen is it that I go broader strokes and avoid advice?#I'll often take a shot in the dark just based on looking inward and seeing how I'd be feeling in that situation #and... and this isn't a brag or something; but I can't remember the last time someone didn't feel validated by it #(which must be blindness on my part; I must have missed the times I made people feel more alone)#(I certainly don't always even manage to find something worthwhile to say; but when I do people seem validated)#but that's me turning inwards and just presenting how the situation makes me feel; and that making people feel seen #(like once again; not fucking bragging; but people will act like I saw right through them)#(when I was just tossing out something that I was only like 70% sure of and felt probably insulting or something)#but then I complain that people impose their own perspectives when talking to me... when me doing that seems to be what works #so why the fuck is that? is it that I more use myself as a thing to look at to relate to them while not really giving advice?#is my real complaint more like 'no one seems able to listen without trying to offer advice'?#also like... no one seems able to like... fucking trust me; or think for a second I might have lived this shit (possibly longer than them)#like... in a non emotional example:#once was talking about how I gotta heat my room with an electric radiator and the person starts telling me about how I gotta do it #like '3 ft away from any object' type advice and it's like...#I've been doing this for like 4 years; radiator sits about 6-8 inches from my bed and the cat spot; wood never gets more warm than sunlight #like I'm no fucking guru on it; but please don't treat me like and idiot you need to teach when you haven't actually used this stuff #why the hell can't anyone trust me? I got myself a fucking house; you know? why is it always always always advice #I'll talk about a situation; be doing more or less all anyone can do; all you have to say is 'yeah fuck that asshole'#no no; advice on what I need to tell someone about how to deal with that asshole that's not as nuanced as what I'm already doing #you share your biggest fears and just get fucking advice that won't work on how you can fix them #...kinda makes me want to blow my brains out as much as the hunger does right now #wish someone would mimic me on this; cause I seem to know what I'm doing #'gee sorry to hear that; that sort of thing is hard to deal with; you're doing a good job getting through it'

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ladyhavilliard · 2 years

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WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS BOOK 3????????????????????

#tgcf spoilers #tgcf book 3 #okay now let's rant in the tags #THE WHOLE WIND MASTER AND BLACK WATER PLOT KILLED ME #IT WAS SO PAINFUL #AND THEN THIS SHIT AT THE END HAPPENS #AND I WANT TO MURDER EVERYONE #also when they entered the kiln and white no face said that xl would be the one to come out #my mind immediately went 'oh shit can xl actually be a ghost even tho he's a heavenly official???'#cause we have seen heavely officials die or xl has been worried that they might be killed #so obv killing a heavenly official is possible #however more shit than imaginable has happened to xl and he never actually dies???#even hc told him 'i knew you can't die and aren't scared of death' or some shit #and i always found it very suspicious but then xl said that whole plan of white no face killing him to turn him into a ghost??? so idk now #what actually matters is that i will die cause i know this will hurt like a bitch #the only 'spoilers' i already knew were: xl's bad memory and the 'didn't know whether to laugh or cry' thing is done on purpose #so far i could only guess what that purpose was #but holy shit now i will find out and i am scareddddddddd #also i hope these tags don't get fucked up and stay in order #i hate when that happens.#xie lian #tian guan ci fu #white no face #heaven official's blessing spoilers

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finexbright · 2 years

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unpopular opinion and dip time

#okay i think sometimes people are so hard pressed about harry being gay that they always forget to look at it from any lens #that isn't stereotypically gay #and it's not always gonna be heteronormative vs stereotypically gay #like with the bed scene everyone's just saying he's with women when it doesn't really look like that to me #it looks like there's people of multiple genders on the bed with him #and like what's so bad about it?#even with the ws mv it was said that it was all women when once again it wasn't #like believe it or not it is possible for harry to have friends of all gender he doesn't only flock towards men #and i just. with all the gender coding he does and all the gender fluidity he brings #it just really bothers me when people just put things into a gender binary again #like believe it or not it's always only men and women in his mvs #even apart from his own gender coding he has loads of nb and genderfluid friends #plus we've seen him use gender neutral pronouns and stuff and so i definitely think that gender diverse representation #is an important aspect of his mvs #and i feel like some people are just immediately repulsed by seeing him with women in mvs and just go around calling it a straight thing #when maybe probably it isn't #i feel like people often forget that you can't just assume someone's gender #and also that just because it's a man and a woman it doesn't necessarily mean a straight relationship #like bi pan trans nb genderfluid people exist #harry styles #anyways. this was a jumbled thoughts kinda thing #soni rambles #typo : it's not always men and women in his mvs

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

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Are you sure that you're alright Quill??? That's a long time to be walking on a fractured foot

-Heathen, someone who has never fractured or broken a bone

Yea I'm good don't worry about it. It's not like I was doing nothing, I know how to deal with foot injuries; I iced, wrapped, and elevated my foot for those few days until it was determined that despite that my foot was not improving so then we went to Urgent Care

there we got x-rays and confirmed that my foot was fractured (I fractured it sunday morning, got the results of the x-ray sometime around 11pm-12am last night) and went ah shoot

I did find it amusing when the nurse who was helping told us that she was thinking "dang they're badass" when we were walking to the room to get the x-ray results because she knew I had a fractured foot and had offered me, who didn't know my foot was fractured, a wheelchair and I went nah it's good and then just walked after her on said fractured foot

anyway now my foot is in a splint for the next few days until I have an appointment with orthopedic and I am not allowed to walk on it which is very very annoying because I have so many things happening this week like damn wish I'd put off finding out my foot was fractured so I could continue walking around on it none the wiser :/ (no one actually do that that's a bad idea medically please seek care and don't walk on broken bones)

i won't lie tho when I first saw the bruise forming my thoughts were "woaa!! sick!!" /pos and the second was "haha teal bruise fitz color."

#quil's queries #heathen nonsie #quil's unholy underworld #tw injury #tw broken bone #if i'm remembering right it's fractured next to the pinky toe and like the middle outside of my foot #going to urgent care is annoying because have you /seen/ the healthcare in america?#but it's much more entertaining when I bring my dad along because he's a nurse and can't help but people watch #and in urgent care there are many hurt people so he just starts observing possible injury and also mistakes medical people #are making in terms of infection prevention. because that's what he specializes in #we were just sitting waiting and then the people put a wheelchair away (they're out front for easy access for patients) and he goes hmm #they didn't wipe that down that's a potential risk.#and then this kid walked in crying and he goes 'hmm he's hurt his left arm because he's crying and screaming so nothing's wrong with that #and he's holding his arm funny and he's got a trampoline park wristband and is still wearing the socks'#and it makes it much more fun #also the doors. the doors were automatic and people kept trying to walk into the wrong side and it was amusing #anyway that was my night hope everyone else is not breaking bones :)

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iridescentis · 13 days

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losing my mind a little

#sometimes hearing other people's opinions of your fav stuff is wonderful #sometimes you want to bash your head into a wall and cry #i wish i wasn't so easily influenced by other people's opinions y'know?#like my brain just sees it and immediately says whatever i think is wrong #its so fucking annoying #im one of those people that just obsesses over one simple thing #im not a 'learn everything i possibly can about it' person #when im fixated on smth that doesn't mean i want to know everything about it #but i end up feeling like shit because most fandom people i have seen are like that #i just enjoy things that fuel my overactive imagination!#anything that provides daydreams is my favourite!#but i just can't commit to something as much #it's so weird bc irl i feel like im the one who's too much #but in fandom spaces i feel like im not enough #i don't have particularly strong opinions about anything #i feel like im too apathetic for fandoms but too invested for it to be considered a casual interest #where are my people who love writing fics and making aus but don't give a shit about canon accuracy and extended lore??#i think i just need to stop looking at the latest posts in tags #ive been on a mission to filter myself less and yet im always catching myself #double checking what everyone else thinks so i don't say anything different #i hate my dumbass brain lmao #it's like im a fish out of water everywhere #so many people ive heard suck ass at real life #but flourish on the internet #because they're surrounded with others like them #but no matter where i go i still feel wrong?#when i was younger i cared way less about appearing normal #i was fucking weird and proud of it #maybe a little too proud #but idk what the fuck happened

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kindacreepy-kindaugly · 6 months

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weirdest fucking shit to fixate over but we just keep comin back to it huh

tmi in the tags probably

#stupid for so many reasons including the way it's just 100% impossible #cause that's not smth that's possible in ours even though in other systems it can happen #n also i'm like......80% sure our inworld body doesn't have the required uh. inner equipment. can't be 100% on that though #i think it's maybe an ocd thing cause it always flares up around specific triggers (like the monthly cycle)#n the system as a whole has had related intrusive thoughts n paranoia for as long as we can remember #i think even before we'd had our first period but definitely at least since then (so 11yo->)#but. it's never been this constant before. i think vivec gets it sometimes but iirc it's more...sporadic for him #n makes more sense since he's had children before n has a crapton of trauma around that #but why me n the subsys?? it's only related to system shit too cause in my source memories i'm cis #just not here cause of the body we inhabit n the effect that has on my/our inworld body #still don't think the internal parts are functional that way though #plus i haven't even seen val let alone fucked him in a long long time now. so why???#he n doll barely do the uh. relevant stuff anymore either even if they're somewhat active in other ways #n all the feelings are so fucking complicated cause. everyone in the subsys feels differently about it #i fucking hate it. the thought makes me feel ill. violated. like the last of my autonomy has been stripped away.#honey's scared cause he feels like he did smth bad n is gonna be punished for it even though val's the one who always wants to. do all that.#doll....daydreams about a domestic life w/ him so he secretly likes the idea of havin his baby.#not the practical parts of it though. just the fantasy #silk is a mix between honey n secretly thinkin maybe val would care about him then. like maybe it'd fix things.#spyder doesn't seem to have the thoughts at all n runaway i think is asleep #plus...we actually know how val feels about all that. there was a conversation cause of some of the shit he says when he's at it #he likes the baby makin part (n i don't just mean fucking. he gets rly into the details.) n the idea of...succeeding at it #cringe shudder vomit etc #but if he thinks abt it any futher he seems....mostly just kinda disgusted.#though he was tryin to be gentle abt it (cause it was w/ doll) so all he said was he doesn't mean it for real he just likes the thought #cause they 'both know he's not parent material'#at least he's self aware enough to know that i guess. what with him regularly beatin his canon (pretend) daughter n all #so why the FUCK are we so fixated on this #it makes me feel rly nasty n at worst causes phantom pains so i'd rly rly like not thinkin about it ever #spdrvent

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fedorahead · 9 months

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skip this post if you value your sanity

i cropped this poorly: these are screenshots

There is a difference between spilling your guts dramatically describing your internal process online and outright replying to someone who has said "i don't know you" with a description of what you now want to do out of social awkwardness and if you can't tell the difference and want to shame people online, the only end result you're gonna get is making someone who was admitting a vulnerability in a healthy way (specifically, by *not* inflicting it on someone setting a boundary but by discussing it in a social forum as a hypothetical) feel less safe to explore the mechanisms of their unhealthy responses where they can get external feedback.

also, "i don't know you", at least where i come from, is an incredibly rude phrase and anyone who says it has already breached the social contract and switched the conversation to hostility. idk where y'all live where that isn't the case, but it absolutely is in many places and an anxious response to the phrase is natural. it roughly translates to "i don't know who you think you are, but you are so far below me that i am shocked at your audacity to interact with me".

i know this is a website full of kids and teens who are still learning how shit works but man, y'all gotta be kinder. people come on here to get away from the nastiness of real life and other social networks.

you wanna talk manipulative behaviours, maybe we should go into how people love to weaponize culturally loaded phrases like "i don't know you" against people with social anxiety (or other neurodivergent people who process social situations differently and are often bullied in this way) and then pretend that it's just boundary setting and that the anxious person is the unhealthy one for picking up on the passive aggressive hostility 🙃

#i originally reblogged with this reply #but then i saw how many people were harassing the anxious person #i too have anxiety #i still want my words heard #but i'd rather not have people rooting for my suicide #my life is enough of a clusterfuck without tumblr becoming the nightmare #i exert most of my energy trying to be palatable for people only to be faced with issues of moral compulsion #honestly it's why i overcompensate #can't turn off the autism #must make everyone else as comfortable as possible the rest of the time and hopefully that will make up for it #which is dumb because i should be able to speak my mind without drastically inflated consequences #humans are monsters though and this isn't my first rodeo #anyway figured i'd keep it available to people who already have seen some of my stuff and maybe understand i mean this from a real desire t #make the world a better place #actively choosing compassion and kindness #and encouraging it #and calling out passive aggressive bs

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wrioluvr · 5 months

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『dumbass.』 slutty sub yandere x gentle himbo darling, male yandere x amab reader. pt 2

sub! yandere who likes to take advantage of your kind nature to fish for compliments. he would degrade himself in front of you, acting all self-loathing to get your attention. nothing compares to the rush he gets as you rush to comfort him, trying your best to make him feel better.

sub! yandere who gets so jealous when you're nice to anyone but him. true, that's one of the things he loves about you, but why do you have to be friendly to everyone? they're all sluts anyway, who only like you for your looks. he can't really be talking when he snuck a photo of your cock and had a dildo custom made to your size, thrusting it in and out of his tight hole whenever he's feeling especially lonely.

sub! yandere whose biggest fantasy is you fucking and spanking him until he can't walk. come to think of it, he's never really seen you angry, like ever. the idea of you upset with him is both terrifying and exciting, he doesn't want you to hate him, but also the thought of you hatefucking him is so... it's enough to make him feral. he's sure you have to have some pent up energy somewhere, he would gladly offer his body for you to abuse. he knows you would never ever consider hurting him, but one can dream, right?

"come onnn. let me give you head." he pleads, clinging onto your arm like it's a lifeline. his eyes prick with tears. much to his surprise, you're the one who gets on your knees, kneeling in front of him. "wait, what are you doing? i don't need you to please me first...." he starts to protest frantically, waving his hands about. "i thought you wanted to give me head? like...headpats?" "no, silly. head means i wanna suck your dick." "oh!" "speaking of headpats, can you pull my hair while i suck you off? like really hard, please." "i don't wanna hurt you, though-" "how many times do i have to say, you could literally murder me, and i would thank you." "...i don't think that's possible." "i'll find a way. so what i'm saying is, be as rough as you want. please." he gags on your length, relishing the feeling of it stretching the slick walls of his throat. no matter how many times he's done this, you always worry he'll hurt himself. "hey...you're okay, right?" you ask worriedly, stroking his hair. he responds by making eye contact with you, swirling his tongue around the tip of the head, eliciting a rather passionate response from you. "fuck, i'm gonna-" involuntarily, you grip his hair tighter and let out a load into his mouth. he came in his pants, too, from you merely tugging his hair a little forcefully. soft pants fill the room. this would be the perfect opportunity for them to degrade me right now, he thinks to himself. but you don't. instead, you take a tissue and dabble at the cum dripping down his chin, making sure to clean him up. he loves you and would never overstep your boundaries.... he just wishes you were a little meaner.

#sub yandere #top male reader #dom male reader #yandere x male reader #male reader #yandere drabbles #yandere x reader

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theminecraftbee · 2 months

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"So, and I can't believe I have to be the guy to point this out," Doc starts hesitantly.

"Terrible start! Go on," Cleo says.

"But you seem to be one of the only sane people left right now," Doc continues.

"Even more terrible, although I appreciate your delusion," Cleo says.

"And I have to--you know, if you're going to make fun of me for bringing you a problem maybe I just won't. I can solve it myself. I basically solved the moon thing myself," Doc says. "I am trying to be responsible before this turns into a whole thing."

"Doc, you came to me. Did you want anything that wasn't me making fun of you? Because you know, if so, I really feel bad for you. I already feel bad enough for you that you think you actually managed to do anything at all about the moon thing."

Doc throws his hands up. "I am trying to warn you the ocean is evil! It's important! This is important!"

"The deep sea being evil isn't new," Cleo starts, "I was building Atlantis last season--"

"It sent, sent, salmon people to kill me!"

Cleo stops. They look Doc in the eyes. They search for any signs of deception at all. It's a little hard to tell, on account of Doc only having one eye even capable of expressiveness, and his face being the opposite of human, but...

"What?" Cleo says dumbly.

"It was like, like, Beef and Skizz, they were crazy! They were talking about a giant fish and how I shouldn't defy it. And I was like, what is a Big Salmon? I don't know, man, but they're ocean mobsters. And then I started looking. It's not just them. It's not just them Cleo, it's everyone. The ocean, man, it's evil, it's getting everyone. I've, I've made a list. Grian. Have you looked at Grian lately?"

"I think if we were worried about every time Grian got possessed then we wouldn't have any free time," Cleo says hesitantly.

"Right, right, but it was supposed to be Demise. The killing each other, all of the killing each other. I thought, oh, that'll get it out of their systems. But it's not just him Cleo! It's--have you seen Gem? She's all, oh, I will build a boat. Oh, I'll provoke the creatures of the deep. And then. Do you know what I saw all of Team ZITS doing? Fishing!"

"Doc," Cleo says, increasingly concerned for him. He looks... disheveled.

"And not just fishing, oh no. They were standing in the water fishing! And Pearl! Have I mentioned that Pearl is dressing up as a salmon? I mentioned that, yes? The salmon Pearl?"

"You hadn't, unless that was the big fish thing," Cleo says.

"No, that was something different, I think Pearl is maybe a different salmon."

"Sure, okay, more than one salmon, that makes sense," Cleo says dryly.

"And everyone, they are fishing each other around the ocean, yes? Etho is in the ocean! XB is in the ocean! I think I saw Joe crawl out of the ocean earlier, he was all wet and haunted! Surely that is a sign the ocean is evil."

"No, he's just like that," Cleo says. "Also, I did the fishing rod thing too. I think it's just... normal fun."

"They're getting you too. My assessment that you're the sane one. I've said too much."

"I think you need sleep," Cleo says. "Doc, there isn't an ocean-based conspiracy. It's the start of the season. You know we're just like this."

"That's the thing, I can't sleep," Doc says. "I can't. I sleep and I see it. I see it, lurking beneath the waves. It's calling for me Cleo. It's calling. And when it calls, it seems so--kind. But then. But then! I wake up, and I remember the shape of it, and..."

Doc shudders and stops talking. Cleo looks at him a moment longer and then, like comforting a nervous animal, takes his shoulder.

"You should take a nap. It's the start of the season. You're over-stressing yourself. Too much too fast?" they say, as soothingly as possible.

"It's coming for us," Doc says. "It's coming. I don't want to ignore it this time, yes? What's coming for us. We should--we should--"

"Even if it is, Doc, I don't think we can fight the ocean. Come on. Maybe sleeping in my base will help reset your brain."

Doc shudders, but lets Cleo guide him inside. They watch until at last he falls asleep fitfully before shaking their head and sighing.

"A giant fish that was trying to kill him. Honestly. I don't know where he gets these things from. Always a conspiracy with him..."

They decide to go to Ren. Ren knows how to humor Doc. Surely they can get in their ridiculous games again, and Doc will forget all about this. Doc would enjoy the Ministry of Ministries. Maybe he can be an anarchist or something. That would be good for him.

Doc cries out in his sleep. Cleo turns to him.

Then again, they have this strange sinking feeling in their stomach. Doc's... awfully worked up.

But it's Doc.

Surely it's nothing.

#hermitcraft #docm77 #zombiecleo #a bee fic #SO THE CONTINUED OBSESSION EVERYONE HAS WITH THE OCEAN HUH.#hermitfic

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unbidden-yidden · 10 months

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In general, I think it's currently really important for progressive Christians to be very loud about being both progressive and deeply religious Christians, and for everyone else fighting for progressive values to be supportive of them doing just that. I know that's like, idk, counter-intuitive or cringe or whatever, but seriously folks, the alternative is that progressive Christians have to be quiet about their faith to be accepted within broader secular and interfaith progressive advocacy, which means that the regressive asshole Christians (a) sound that much louder and (b) dominate the USian religious landscape all the more. That's a problem, for all of us.

We need people pushing back within the faith as well as outside of it, because that destroys any edifice that this is about Christianity and religious freedom.

You can be a devout Christian and also:

Openly, proudly, and without being forced to remain celibate or otherwise limit your full expression of self, identify as LGBTQ+ or be a supportive ally.

Advocate for full reproductive autonomy and comprehensive sex education.

Love and support people of other religious groups, non-religious people and/or atheists, by choosing to believe that a truly loving God would not pursue anything less than universal salvation.

Stand against evangelism and proselytizing as they have thus far been interpreted and used, because there are ways to interpret the Great Commission that don't promote colonialism and cultural genocide.

A steward of the earth, protecting God's beautiful creation and lovingly tending to it as the unique and incredible gift that it is.

A believer in science, rationalism, and human progress as part of God's divine plan for humanity.

A believer in history and someone who understands that the Bible can be both divinely given and open to interpretation (no really)(if you're confused, please talk to a knowledgeable traditional Jew)

An ally to Jews, who stands against supercessionism and antisemitism in the church.

And in before regressive Christians come shouting at me that (1) what do I know, I'm a Jew and (2) no lol you can't because of ___ reason:

My source is that I've personally met and talked to Christians of great faith and integrity - people who embody the closest forms of kindness I've seen to what Jesus himself advocated - who are each of these things.

It is 100% possible; you just choose to believe otherwise.

#every hour is theology hour around here apparently

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madelynraemunson · 1 month

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pass the salt • e.m. smut

DAD’S BEST FRIEND!OLDER!EDDIE x FEM!READER

summary: you’re home from college and staying with your dad for the summer, spending as much time as you possibly can with him…and his hot best friend that you’ve never seen in your life.

authors note: okay have you guys ever seen those text posts like “when you say ‘daddy pass the salt please’ and your father and your man both reach for it” 💀💀 well this is inspired by that concept. also i went overboard and this is a LONG BOI

disclaimers — photo credits to @eddiemunsons-missingnipple 🫶🏼porn with plot, reader’s nickname is “sunshine”, reader has female anatomy, race unspecified, divider: @iluvpooks

NSFW — 18+ obv, porn with plot, daddy kink pls keep scrolling if it’s not ur thing, slight age gap (eddie is mid to late 30s, reader is in her early 20s), corruption kink, size kink, masturbation (m&f), p in v sex (protected), dirty talk, teasing, sexual innuendos, extreme flirting, eddie kinda being a perv, praise kink

The sound of breakfast on the griddle summons you downstairs.

Dad never cooks.

For as long as you can remember, weekends at your dad’s have always consisted of Lucky Charms cereal and powdered donuts. That tradition continued even after you started college.

Oh yeah. Someone is here, alright. Someone Dad desperately wants to impress.

Trailing after the commotion, your fuzzy pink slippers guide you down the wooden steps of your dad’s ‘bachelor pad’ and into the kitchen. And when you near the bottom of the steps, you can make out two distinct voices — one belonging to Dad, another belonging to someone who's identity is obscure.

“God, I fucking missed you, Jeff. Missed everyone so much.”

The smells of pancake batter, cigarette smoke, mint, and petroleum fuel reel you in, but not nearly as much as the sight of the man sitting on the opposite side of your dad. He's built, handsome with wavy brown hair, leather, black denim, twiddling a toothpick between his teeth as he listens to your dad speak with a smile on his face. That is, until you come into sight. It then that his intense focus circles in on you.

Funny. You don’t remember this friend. And something in your gut tells you that you won’t ever be forgetting him after this.

The stranger's grin curls into a wonder-filled smirk. You can feel your knees start to buckle.

“Uh oh. Looks like our shenanigans woke up Sleeping Beauty.”

When you get a closer look at Dad’s friend, you observe his faint brown beard — neatly kept and lightly peppered with some gray — delicious lips, shiny white teeth, and grooves along his laugh lines that would deepen with every theatrical cackle he belted out.

You can't help but freeze in your tracks as him and your dad continue on with their banter, reliving their glory days like it was yesterday. Man. What a damn dreamboat.

Your dad’s eyes light up with glee when he sees you.

“Hey, good morning, Sunshine!” Dad cheers. “Thought you’d never wake up. This is my friend Eddie. We were in that band together in high school. Come say hi.”

"Yeah, come say hi," Eddie agrees. feeding into the obvious tension in the room. "I don't bite."

The stranger laughs at his own comment as soon as he utters it.

There’s a charm — a magic — about Eddie that could only be found in Hollywood or the Big City. But of course, you didn't expect any less from Dad's supposed ‘Rockstar Friend’.

When your parents had you at 17, life went on for Dad’s band Corroded Coffin. And although he missed out on the ‘Sex, Drugs, and Rock&Roll’, Dad insists that tea parties and white picket fences were an ideal trade-off. Because — despite how things ended with Mom — it still meant a life spent with you.

You tell him your name as Eddie offers you his hand to shake. Electricity serges through you when your hand is enveloped by his firm, calloused one. Eddie smiles down at you, his presence all-consuming. It's almost as if he knows it. And as much as you were dying to, you resist the urge to fall into him.

Eddie's no better.

It takes everything in Eddie's power to keep his eyes above your collarbones, reprimanding himself with the utmost tedium. Because heaven knows he'd be TOAST if his best friend found out that Eddie thought that you were absolutely stunning — strutting around the house the way that you do, without a bra underneath that poor excuse of a sleep shirt — a sleep shirt far too tight for your own good. With tight, pajama shorts to match…

Of course, this is all an assumption…Not that he caught wind of it or anything.

“You know…” he mentions. “Your dad has told me SO much about little miss Sunshine.”

“Me, really?” is all you can say behind those fuscia cheeks.

“Really,” Eddie insists. “He never shuts up about you, darling.”

“Hopefully you’ve only heard good things,” you mutter faintly.

And instantly, your dad and Eddie share a laugh.

“Only good things,” Eddie assures you. He nudges your dad playfully.

Your dad doesn’t exactly deny the last part, basically confirming to Eddie that you’ve got a hint of spunk to you. The heat settles at your cheeks as you shy away from your father’s curious friend.

Taking note of how timid you’ve just become, Eddie furrows his brows.

“What — was that an implication that you’re not always good?”

“No comment,” your smile melts into an awkward one.

“Kept me on my toes back then,” your dad reflects with a sigh. “Keeps me on my toes now.”

“You don’t say…” Eddie smirks slightly, gaze panning back over to you.

Eventually your dad leaves you two alone, going into the garage to fetch something that he insists Eddie would like. But little did he know that such thing was already in the room, leaning…reaching into the fridge for some orange juice, not realizing its atmosphere caused your nipples to harden.

Eddie’s eyes proceed to follow you as you strut back to the griddle, flipping some hot cakes over before tending to your messy bedhead.

Eddie probably doesn’t know — or maybe he does, who knows? — that you feel him staring at you. It’s a burning gaze that practically impales you, but you’re too nervous to say anything. You’re better off pretending like it’s something you don’t notice.

You and Eddie continue to help yourselves to breakfast, enjoying the company of each other and your mutual silence. That is, until Eddie speaks up.

“Got some sausage for you if you’d like.”

“I’m sorry?” you sputter, looking up from your food.

Eddie shoots you a weird glance as he holds up some breakfast franks.

“Sausage?” he repeats. “Store was out of beef so I settled for turkey. Hope that’s not a problem.”

“Not at all,” you clear your throat. “I love turkey sausage.”

“Okay, good,” Eddie chuckles, seemingly relieved at how quickly the situation had diffused.

“Cool,” you chuckle with him while taking some links to cook.

The silence returns once more and is replaced by the sizzling of the grill. It’s short lived, however, because soon, the man nearly twice your age speaks again.

“What’d you think I said?” Eddie circles back.

“Nothing, why?”

“You just looked stunned.”

“I just woke up,” you shrug. “My mind’s somewhere else.”

“I can tell,” he smirks. “Get that thing out of the gutter.”

The coming days paved way for some more innocent flirting.

…Like when you make sure to wear the shortest skirt in your closet when running Eddie his afternoon beer in the garage.

“Well don’t you look absolutely darling…” he says as he peers up from his guitar.

“Hehe,” you smirk connivingly. “Thank you!”

“You are so welcome.”

Eddie downs the liquid guilt along with his pride, watching you strut around…the hem of that pleated cotton fabric just barely covering the roundness of your asscheeks. And as you blush a rosy pink when you process his little remarks, Eddie can only clear his throat in arousal, fantasizing about just how badly he wanted to turn your other cheeks that very shade.

…Or when you come downstairs the next day to help Dad manually wash his car.

While he and Eddie are harassing each other with soap and that god-forsaken hose, you decide to join in on all the fun.

“Watch out, Sunshine,” Eddie forewarns. “You’ve just entered the splash zone!”

And with the intention of cooling you off on a hot summer day like this, Eddie teasingly sprays you with said hose, your white shirt becoming transparent when lathered with water. He could see everything. Your erect nipples. Your perky tits bouncing in the sunlight as you jump around in excitement. How glazed your oil-nnuendo’ed skin looked when glimmering in the sun. All as intended.

“You got me,” you surrender yourself to him. “You got me good, Eddie.”

And when you walk away, Eddie mutters slyly to himself.

“Yes, yes I did.”

…And then there’s dessert after dinner.

Eddie watches as you lick your popsicle, his fingers curling at his thighs in arousal as you retract the wrapper before enclosing your lips around the bright pink dessert. And he swears he’s going to blow his pants when he envisions the melted sugar shooting into your mouth with the swiftest hollowing of your cheeks, the quiet suction noise you make with your pursed lips forcing him to adjust the way he’s sitting.

…The final instance takes the cake.

“What’s your major?”

You’re in the home library grazing some of Dad’s old books and vinyls, talking to Eddie while your father gets ready for the day. Meanwhile, Eddie is perched at your dad’s desk, rolling around in his expensive swivel chair and occasionally doing some spins on it to make you laugh.

“History.”

“Sounds boring.”

“You just haven’t found a topic that interests you,” you point out.

“Mm,” is all Eddie says. “Maybe I will eventually.”

Eddie watches as you waltz around in front of him, following your movements with his eyes as you get onto your tippy-toes in order to grab some books on the top shelf.

“Oh my god!” you yelp.

Your plan to entice him seemingly fails when you graze a book that’s halfway off the shelf. It’s already flying off of its platform, headed straight towards Eddie's lap before you can even stop it.

Eddie catches it before any damage can be done, saving Dad’s old campaign book with the hand furthest from you and snaking the other around your waist to prevent you from sinking any further into him.

Phew. Crisis averted.

Your eyes meet again.

“I’m so sorry, Eddie,” you gasp in embarrassment. “That book has a mind of its own.”

“You’re fine,” Eddie laughs. “Can’t defy the laws of gravity. Sometimes it betrays us.”

You feel yourself burning up a fever. Excusing yourself from the room, you leave Dad’s library and make your way over to the kitchen for a glass of water.

But you’re nearly taken aback when you feel tight, calloused hands wrap around your hips, and like a feather it’s like you’re whisked away into the air, and soon your body is pressed up against the wall.

Slam!

Breathing heavily against each other now — chest to chest, lips so unbearably close you can smell the whiskey — Eddie draws you even closer to him. You both study each other intently. It’s like you’re waiting for the other to say something. Eddie does the honors and speaks first.

“I wasn’t born last night, doll. I was also your age at one point.”

———

To his own despair, Eddie touches himself later that night. Facing your room, he strokes his rock hard cock with his lotioned-up hand, running his thumb across the slit of his head, pretending it’s your tongue giving him a little tease like you did the popsicle.

“Fuuuck,” he grunts quietly. “You like when I fuck your throat, baby? Gonna suck me dry with that pretty little mouth of yours?”

You’re playing make-believe just as much. Because at the same time, in your room, you’re a drooling, pathetic mess, riding your wall-mounted toy to oblivion in your bathroom, legs trembling when the thick, veiny piece of silicone slams into the spongy part of your heat, initiating shock-waves all across your body.

“Eddie,” you find yourself blubbering. “EddieEddieEddieEddie…”

You both know it can’t be like this, but that was the mere thrill of it all. And when you both have overcome your peak, just one mere wall apart, the floodgates of guilt outweighs both your arousals the way it comes pouring in.

So, so wrong. But oh, so right.

You’re anticipating…waiting…aching for Eddie to make the next move.

He doesn’t.

“Going to the store again,” Eddie announces. “Hopefully this time they’ll have beef sausage. Need anything?”

Need you, is what you think. But you end up shaking your head, a part of you disappointed that you and Eddie won’t be able to spend some time alone together.

“No,” there’s defeat in your voice.

“Are you sure?” Eddie questions softly.

“Mhm,” you nod.

“Okay,” he gives you a grin, one in the form of a tight-lipped smile. “I’ll be right back. You be good.”

“Ha-ha,” you roll your eyes.

——

Eddie leaves the door of his room open that night. Just a smidge. You end up following the sound of his TV that he’s placed at a low volume, making out that it’s Seinfeld just by Jerry’s voice and the laugh track.

Your heart skips a beat as Eddie laughs along with the show, shaking his head at a stupid joke. But he shifts his focus immediately onto you when he sees you at the doorway.

“Having some alone time tonight?” you ask him.

“Mmm…not by choice,” he responds. “Tuckered your dad out after dinner doing P90X.”

Eddie follows a crazy workout routine. He says that it helps with his stamina, especially when he does crowd work during his stage performances. Your mind can’t help but wonder what else he may be using it for.

You snort. “Yeah. Dad wasn’t what you’d call an athlete in high school.”

Eddie laughs at that too. Both you and him know that.

He then pats the space on his bed beside him. “Wanna come watch with me?”

Your stomach does a series of cartwheels when you process Eddie’s question. You know what’s bound to happen if you follow through. And it seems Eddie knows it too. Even if there wasn’t any sexual tension between you both already, the concept of it all would rub anyone that way.

But you still follow through with it. Just like Eddie knew you would.

“You comfortable?” Eddie asks you, eyeing you endearingly as you squirm around on the bed.

“Yeah,” you breathe.

“Good…” he replies, voice nearly at a strained whisper now.

You two watch the show in silence for a few minutes, exchanging commentary and pleasantries regarding the show every so often. It’s not too long after Eddie pulls a laugh from you that he starts closing up the space between you both, scooting himself closer…and resting his gruff palm over the base of your knee.

You inhale sharply as he does so. And evident by your refusal to pull away, it’s enough of a green light for Eddie to hike up further.

A soft moan escapes your mouth from the back of your flustered throat, but you bite your lip in restraint.

"I'm sorry," you whisper.

"For what?”

You shrug sheepishly as Eddie continues to graze your thigh. Your breathing falters even more.

“Don’t be scared,” Eddie coos.

“I’m not,” you insist.

“Then what’s stopping you from getting on top of me? Hm?”

He’s in between your legs now, the rough material of his denim jeans riding up your sex, teasing your clit with every calculated rub against it.

“And riding my rock hard cock til those pretty legs give out?” Eddie continues. “I see how you’ve been looking at me, doll. It's all over your face how bad you want it.”

“The bed is squeaky,” you answer honestly. “And that headboard is a lost cause.”

Eddie puts the dirty talk on pause, squirming around to assess the guest bed’s squeak factor. When it checks out, he gives you an understanding nod. You giggle.

Eddie wastes no more time. You watch as he grabs one of the pillows on the bed and wedges it between the wall and headboard. He issues you a sly smile.

“Oldest trick in the book.”

You're back to fooling around shortly after, your aching core burning with lust as you pine for him.

“The boys at school ever touch you this good?” Eddie quips rubbing circles around your puffy, needy folds as you hopelessly cling to him out of pleasure.

“No, Eddie.”

“Didn’t think so.”

He continues to tease, gliding his fingers along your slit before slowly inserting two large digits inside of you.

His calculated pumps into your needy pussy are steady, a pace so agonizingly beautiful that it makes you squeal sweet nothings into the crook of his neck.

"Shh, baby," Eddie hushes you. "Your dad's gonna hear us. Gotta be quiet for me, mkay?"

Your hot, messy, and muffled sounds cease as Eddie soothes your quivering lips with his tender ones.

The wet sounds that ricochet and fill the room in tandem is almost enough to send him over. And Eddie is sure to communicate that… with an abrupt curving of his three thick fingers.

Fuck.

Needing him direly now, you tug helplessly at his pants.

“God, Eddie,” you whimper. “Just fuck me already. Please.”

Eddie laughs at the desperation. He hasn’t ravaged you to his fullest extent yet, and you’re already a pooling mess beside him.

“Well since you said please, sweet girl,” Eddie obliges as he starts to undress himself. “Your wish is my command."

You watch Eddie as reaches over into the bedside drawer for a fresh box of condoms. Looks like the sausage links weren't the only things he went to the store for.

“Oh.”

Eddie chuckles at your observation before shrugging. Can you really blame him? You both knew what was coming.

You watch with absolute lust as Eddie slides the piece of rubber over his long, girthy, throbbing cock. He’s bigger than anyone you’ve ever had before, and the snarky, hooded-eye smile as he watches you fawn reveals to you that he knows exactly how to use it.

"On your stomach, babygirl. Will have you all nice and pounded out just like you wanted.”

You situate yourself in prone and spread your legs for Eddie to line himself up against them. He teases his wrapped cock against the entrance of your pussy, and when his soothing countdown is over, your lips part in disposition as you accommodate his ruinous stretch.

A throaty moan spills out of the both of you the moment Eddie snaps his hips in and out of you. Meanwhile, one of his hands lays tauntingly at your stomach, so the prideful man can feel himself wriggling inside you, glazing his shaft with your slick more and more with every pump into your weak cunt.

"Fuck, Eddie... yes..." you mewl. "R-right there, Eddie, please..."

And then it picks up. You can feel Eddie’s hips practically collapse right onto you, his balls slapping against you as he digs further into your body.

"God damn..." the man sighs in disbelief.

He can only beam down at you in awe. You were taking him so good, pussy swallowing him so nice and tight. And when you nestle your ankles between each other to keep him there in prone, the nearly cries out in pleasure, but refrains because he knows your dad is resting — just a thin wall over.

That still doesn’t stop him from going to town though. Practically seeing stars, the broken record of a mouth that belongs to you chants Eddie’s name like it’s all you know. Eddie attempts to keep you contained, offering you his fingers to suck on as he’s railing you dumb.

And when he fucks you through your climax, Eddie continues with his string of lust-filled praises, satisfied at himself that he was able to make you wet enough to soak the mattress.

“Did so good for me, angel,” he praises you as he sucks at your temple. “Always knew you weren’t all that innocent.”

The griddle comes out again on Eddie’s last day. But this time, for a homestyle southern dinner.

You and Eddie were on mashed potatoes and gravy duty at the stove, an ordeal that only opened doors for lots of innuendos on Eddie’s part. Meanwhile, Dad insisted on making the rest, having taken pride in continuing his Mama’s legacy.

“This is amazing, Daddy,” you rave. “I really missed this. Do you mind passing the salt, please?”

And to your horror, you watch as your father and Eddie automatically extend their arms, bumping into one another in the process en route to getting you the salt.

The gentlemen meet each other’s eyes.

“Ohp!” Eddie exclaims, letting out a slight chuckle. “Sorry.”

You try your hardest not to blush. Eddie kicks you from under the table, and softly he oh-so-seductively he mutters,

“I was just tryna help her out.”

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