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avelera · 5 years

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Fun facts I’ve learned from LARPing* a character who wears Celtic woad war paint:

^^ it me! Basically, considers this one part costume/LARP makeup tutorial and one part archaeological study via performance art. (Photo Credit)

(*LARP stands for “Live Action Role Playing” aka, Dungeons and Dragons but you run around in the woods in full costume as your character and yes that means you stay in-character for hours and have to perform all the combat yourself.)

- If you ever see a character with complex war paint on their body, back, or dominant arm that is at all graceful and not just slapped on pigment, then they must have had a friend do it for them. So any surly loner type figure that ALSO has elaborate warpaint is a fucking joke. You literally can’t have warpaint be symmetrical or pretty in places you can’t reach without having an available group of companions and, better yet, artistically inclined friends to put it on for you. War paint would have, by necessity, been a communal activity with group members putting on war paint for one another before going into battle, especially before the invention of easily accessible, high quality mirrors.

Addendum: war paint takes quite a lot of time to apply if you want it to be pretty or symmetrical. I regularly have to clean it all off and start over if I want symmetry and that’s with a mirror and a high-quality paint brush. A warrior that wears elaborate war paint but “doesn’t care about his/her appearance” is a goddamn liar. Unless you are with a group of warriors who are putting your makeup on for you, you do care about your appearance and you are very delicately applying makeup for just as long as a YouTube makeup star, at minimum. It’s a very ego-driven look with a lot of artistic skill required either by you or someone else. Even just making the appearance of a simple straight line on your face can be quite hard since your face has curves and bumps all over it. To do delicate lines takes forever. I chose bold strokes to make it easier and even those take a long time to apply if you’re in a hurry. A warrior who is wearing detailed war paint must have had at least an hour putting their face on to look pretty for the big fight, and don’t let them tell you otherwise.

(Sorry, Kassandra, your warpaint doesn’t make any f-ing sense unless a member of your crew put it on for you.)

- Brightly colored paint on your face will make your eyes look beady and small unless you cake dark eyeliner or pigment around your eyes to make them look bigger. It’s the main difference between good looking war woad pictures (usually on women) and bad looking woad pictures (usually on men) because they don’t remember to put eyeliner on so the colored paint doesn’t drown out their eyes. Even in video games, the best looking and most iconic war paint (like Senua or Kassandra) makes sure to cover the area around the eyes with paint, otherwise the eyes look beady and small. Case in point:

Not to call out real people, but this pic was on the internet. Notice how his blue eyes are drowned out by the pigment, making them look smaller, compared to when there’s pigment around the eyes so that doesn’t happen. By contrast:

^^^ Here, the black pigment around the eyes keeps her eye color from being drowned out by the bold blue. As a final example:

- Fun fact about war paint: that shit transfers everywhere and I mean everywhere without a binding agent of some kind. You’re not wearing war paint with your best silks. Wearing it naked into battle actually makes a lot of sense, as does permanent tattooing instead of temporary paint.

- War paint is actually intimidating as fuck. I’m quite a petite woman (5′4″, 130 lb) but I’m also a fight junky. I knew I was going toe-to-toe with guys twice my size and I wanted to be taken seriously as a warrior, not brushed off as small or cute. And boy howdy, did the warpaint work. And this is why:

- War paint disguises you. It basically works like extreme contouring in that it literally transforms your face. I’ve LARPed across from people for actual years who didn’t know who I was after when I took the paint off. It’s because the brain just registers the paint as my features to them, because most people don’t look at bone structure when recognizing others. It allowed me to build a myth around my character as an intimidating fighter that I could never have built around my normal features. It made my character a truly different person from me, one people only associated with who they see on the battlefield.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my rambling TED talk, I hope you enjoyed!

#larp #larping #makeup #archaeological makeup #costume makeup #archaeology

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elfangel94 · 4 years

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Teen Top in San Jose 2019

Concert Day

So I woke up at 6am and started getting ready. At around 9 I woke everyone else up and they got ready as well. I was dressed as joker for the costume contest but I decided I would put the wig on last minute before they took the picture. Unfortunately because it was so disorganized I wasn’t able to be photographed at all (more on that later). We got to the venue around 3:30 and there was almost no one there. A little later around 4-ish my brother spotted cap walking around the building with either staff or a body guard (we watched him but didn’t scream or say/do anything I don’t think he even noticed us we were pretty far away). Eventually people started showing up and staff came out. I had assumed that the contest would be first with all the participants gathered and then photographed, me and my sister wanted to take our pic together but I had already been lined up for the fan signing when she was photographed. I didn’t want to go in and see the boys in costume but they were very confusing and instead of some sort of order the photos were taken really randomly and some people were missed. After we were inside the venue they took some more but I was already changed. Anyway, I go in and in order Niel, cap, Chunji, Ricky and changjo are seated at the table. I walked up and gave Niel my letter and his gifts

Niel: “Hi!”

Me: “hi”

Niel: “To.. Teen Top?”

Me: “yes! And you!”

Niel: “and me?! Thank you~!” (He has the cutest lil voice)

I move on to cap and we say hi he started handing me the album and I was reaching for it when we both realized he had to pass it to Chunji 🤣 (we officially share the same one braincell) Chunji was really bright when he said hi and had this like idk naughty boy face I’m not sure how to describe it but I was weAK. Then on to Ricky who said “hi Rebekah!” I almost didn’t say hi because I was having a spongebob moment in which all my brains cells were having a meltdown over him saying my name. I moved on to changjo who had the warmest smile and just seemed so happy to see me. We said hi and thank you like the others (the interactions are so brief but me being a shy ass knucklehead who can’t do a speak makes it even shorter lol) after that I exited to queue up for the hi touch (this is where I had to change my clothes and I held up the line iM SO SORRY T-T) The hi touch was sO fAsT I barely remember it. I just remember being too nervous to look at them lmao so once that was over we went round again and did the group pic. I get inside and the lady told me to kneel next to changjo (kneel for changjo? glAdLY mY KinG) and he just kept looking at me and smiling so warmly and then he leaned on me and BOYYYYYEEEEEEE HE SMELL SO GOOD 😭 they took the pictures and changjo looked at me and said “thank you!” we literally created a new language consisting of only the phrase “thank you” because I’d say thank you then he’d say thank you then I’d say thank you again because I’m fucking dumb. But he understands. So we finished and went into the auditorium where I sat next to a really sweet cool girl dressed as Harley Quinn(who was also a VAV Stan I was so happy to meet another VAMPZ in real life😭💜). I don’t know her name but I was really thankful she struck up a convo because I was so nervous and anxious and her talking really helped me calm down a bit and she watched my seat for me when I had to go to the restroom so whoever and wherever you are thank you you are truly an Angel 😇 💜 I missed the boys coming out because I had a bathroom break and I legit ran back and started recording as I got back inside. At first I was afraid of getting too close to the stage but after a song or two I was like fuck it yolo bitch I’m moving uP and stood right next to the stage. Changjo was on that side mostly but Niel came over quite a bit too and Ricky as well towards the end of the concert. I was so close I could touch them (I wouldn’t and didn’t! Don’t fucking touch people!) I was really hoping one of them would take my phone but alas ‘‘twas not meant to be ☹️ but Niel, changjo, Ricky and Chunji all looked right at me and into my phone so that’s good enough for me 😭 some people said cap made a mistake but I missed it (I saw it later on my video 😂) all I saw was him absolutely dyInG of laughter. Boy was laughing so hard he couldn’t rap properly 😂he covered his face all embarrassed (he’s the cutest lil bean and I will break your knees if you say different) he was sitting down a lot tho and I’m really outta the loop lately so I don’t know if he was injured or not but I hope he’s ok :(

During Crazy changjo committed a murder by blowing a kiss to this poor girl in front and as her life slipped away as she fell to the floor he stood back and smugly appreciated his handy work. It was damn cute. Every time Niel came close my heart just went a little “AHHHHHHHHJDJDJDNDBRVSUSKRNFDIEJDJ”🥺 I still can’t believe how close I was. The encores were the best changjo threw water on us and got me wet now I’m never showering again. After the concert we had to wait for snapshots and since my little sister got 1st place in the costume contest she went first and I went with her to get her group photo with the boys. They came out into the lobby (also I was so proud of the fans No one was shrieking, chasing or tryna grab them it was very calm and intimate with them just kinda standing around with us for a Bit while things were organized) and immediately gravitated to her they all said hi to her and Ricky and changjo were going on about how cute she was. They all got up on the stairs an she zoomed up to get next to Niel. She was hidden by the other girls but Niel helped her get positioned so she could be seen it was such a precious interaction I wish I could have recorded it :( Once she was done she went back to my dad and I went to get my snapshots. First I got cap he was sitting down and I don’t remember if he said anything or not I said hi we took the pic then we said thank you and I got in line for Chunji. Chunjis greetings were Always so bright he said hi and he wrapped his arm around me (I felt like the queen of the world my dude Chunji has an affect) i finished we both said thank you and I got in line for Niel. About halfway down the line I started getting teary-eyed and had to do everything In my power to not have an absolute break down. When I got to him We both said hi and then we took the photo and he wrapped his arm around me and put his head on mine and held me so snugly and close. I almost started crying again but there was no way I’m crying in front of Niel cap Chunji and all these people so a bitch sucked those tears up. We take the photo and say thank you but as I start to walk forward to leave Niel quickly bent down and moved a basket full of film cartridges out of the way 🥺 I said thank you (shocker) and he says “you’re welcome” in his precious lil voice. I finished and went to go get my photo with changjo and Ricky. Ricky said hi all bubbly and cheery but he quickly changed when we did the pose. Ricky put on his smolder 😩I tried to stare him down too but ended up having to look away and just focus on the camera at the last second. I was wRECKeD. I was so disoriented by the smolderTM that I started to run away and almost forgot my picture 😭🤣Last but not least I finally get to changjo and again he just makes you feel like you’re the only person there and that he’s been waiting all his life just to meet you. I held his (huge) hand in his and kinda felt bad cuz he was so warm and soft and I was damn near frozen solid. Once I got my photo I realized I was done ☹️ so I went outside to wait for my sisters. I don’t really know what else to say other than they were just as amazing as the first time I saw them and I feel like I’ve been renewed, reborn, rejuvenated just by seeing them. I had so much fun the boys were wonderful the fans were wonderful and very respectful no grabbing (that I saw) or unnecessary shrieking in inappropriate times just overall really great and I really hope to do this again some day. Everyone was wonderful and the staff especially were very nice and helpful but the way some things were managed was very poorly and confusing other than that everything went great. I really hope they read my letter because it’s everything I’ve ever wanted to say to them and I need them to know just how much they’ve helped me in life.

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thenudescientist · 5 years

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The Not-So Direct Approach

“Hange. I’m telling you. Listen to me. Fuck. Just listen to my words. No one should be that tall and that pretty. S’not fair. I don’t even like tall guys but like. Fuck. That guys is just tall and he’s so fucking pretty. Fucking tall and pretty asshole.”

“What else? Have you seen his face Hange. His face is just so nice. I wanna boop his nose. That would be weird but I wanna like. Boop! Right on the nose. C’mere so I can boop your nose cause Eren isn’t here and I can’t boop his nose. So your shitty nose will have to do.”

“Ugh. And his eyes. Son of a bitch. Erwin! Are you fucking listening to me fucking shithead?”

“Right Erwin. Remember when we arrested him and he’s all like “I’m gonna kill all the Titans.” Super intense. Did you see how his eyes changed? They were like “I’m scared, I’m gonna be light green.” Then they were like “I’m homicidal now I’m like fucking Christmas green.” What’s that color Erwin? Christmas green?”

“Yes! Fucking evergreen. That’s a terrible name for green by the way. Did you know my favorite color is green? Like everything important is green. Izzies eyes. The scout cloak. Eren’s eyes. Erwin’s dumbass Halloween costume that one year.”

“Yes and I still have the pics fuckface. I printed them out and everything. Everyone has a copy even Mike.”

“Oh shut up eyebrows. Everyone knows you have a thing for that fucking tree you call a dog. He can probably smell your precum cause I know your dick gets all drippy when you see him. His fucking nose man. It’s just weird. He’s got like a superpower. Super nose man. His name is like Snuffles. Snuffles the tall as fuck superhero no one asked for. I’m surprised we even have a K-9 unit with that giant waltzing around.”

“Eren’s nose is the best. I’m gonna fucking boop it so hard.”

“Shitty fucking glasses. You don’t get to boop his nose before me. What the fuck. I just called boop dibs.”

“RESPECT THE DIBS FOUR EYES.”

“I thought so. Idiot. Stupid fucking glasses tryna disrespect the dibs.”

“Ugh. I wanna see Eren.”

“We caaaan’t.”

“Fucking Mikasa that’s why.”

“Have you see her? She’s like a fucking 100-meter wall, laced with cock repellent. I don’t even know how Eren has so many guy friends. They all want to bang him, you know. Every single one. You think she makes them sign contracts?”

“Yeah like. ‘Oh you wanna be friends with my brother? You gotta sign away your right to get in his pants.’ That’s something she would do. She’d totally do that cause have you seen Reiner. That guys wants to chain Eren to his bed and fucking break him.”

“Hange! You see the way Reiner looks at him right?”

“Fucking told you shitbrows. Reiner has it so bad I’m embarrassed.”

“No cause I know how to keep my dick soft around Eren. Reiner is full mast every day. It’s hilarious cause I wanna laugh but I completely understand. I’d chain Eren to my bed if I could.”

“I’m so serious. I’d do crimes to sink my dick inside Eren’s immaculate ass. What if he’s into that shit? Gimme some consent and I’d fucking hook his ass up so quick.”

“Yeeesssss. Shitty glasses. I’d like, bury my dick inside him and live there if I could. I bet it’s wonderful in there. My dick would have the best fucking time.”

“Inappropriate? I’m way past inappropriate at this point.”

“So many times. Eyebrows caught me beating off in the showers once cause Eren thought it was a good idea to change in front of me and the way his boxers clung to his ass. Hange. I have a fucking appetite.”

“Without a doubt. No hesitation. I’ve had dreams of him just sitting on my face while he’s on the phone or some shit.”

“Gross? You think that’s gross? I’d do ass to mouth for him Erwin. Ass. To mouth.”

“Fuck yes I’d switch with him. You think he’s just a top?”

“That’d be a waste. That ass is just too glorious to have never bottomed. Wait. Wait. He’s gay?”

“YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU FUCKING BITCH.”

“NEED TO KNOW? YOU DONT THINK ID NEED TO KNOW IF THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS GAY OR NOT?”

“Fuck nope. I’m sobering up now so nope. I’m so pissed off you got me sober.”

Armin sat in the Director’s office with trembling hands. After a full night of listening to various wiretaps related to the Titan case, he stumbled upon a recording of Levi’s night out. His drinking buddies just happened to be Head of Forensics, Hange Zoë and Director of Scouting Elite Security, Erwin Smith.

Armin being the calculating angel that he is saw fit to turn in the recording in question. The evidence would need to be reviewed by 3 others before it could be used during the trial. The first 6 hours gave them a solid case, incriminating evidence related to the boss of the Titan gang, Zeke and his tank Reiner. Problems arose when Captain Levi, Head detective and their best undercover agent, was dragged away to drink by Hange before he could properly be debriefed and debugged.

After three hours of chatter and drinks, Levi’s lips loosened up to an embarrassing degree and so here Armin was. Desperately trying to preserve the image of the precinct’s grumpy cat and apparently the Director’s as well. He was certain no one else needed to know about Director Smith’s “dripping dick.”

“Arlet. I’m sure we don’t need to discuss the content recorded after 2318, yes?”

“Yes sir. I’ve only brought it here for you to approve the changes needed to be made to the data logs. I’ve taken the liberty to cut a new recording so your evening out with the detective isn’t on file but I can’t change the information in the database to reflect the new length. I’ve also saved a copy of the...um time… in case you needed it for whatever reason, sir”

“Good, Arlet. Good. Let’s see to it that this recording never surfaces again. We don’t need the chaos that would ensue if this were to get out. Let me sign these approval forms and so you can complete your work. Thank you for being so mature about this Armin. Anyone else is the analyst department would’ve played this on the loudspeakers.”

“It’s not a problem sir. Maintaining the privacy of this conversation is as much for Detective Ackerman and yourself as it is for me. If Eren were to hear this recording he wouldn’t shut up for years. Between you and me sir, I’m at my limit with Eren’s crush. Mikasa and I would lose our minds if it was confirmed in a roundabout way.”

“So I should advise Levi to go for the direct approach?”

“I doubt Captain Levi could be anything but direct but yes. I’d advise him to get it over with. Eren’s had a thing for him for three years. It’s getting out of hand.”

“Well Levi. What will it be?” Erwin’s gaze shifted to the man in question standing in the doorway. Levi was leaning against the frame, arms crossed with his eyebrows furrowed in disbelief.

Armin whipped around to catch a look at the man eavesdropping on their conversation. He didn’t hear anyone approach the door and it was only 0637. No one showed up on the office this early, not even himself but he needed to speak to the Director before the other analyst clocked in and began their own reviews.

“What’s this recording you’re talking about?” Levi approached the desk only to lean against that as well. Once settled he’d crossed his arms again and his legs at the ankles. Armin noted the closed off defensive body language but said nothing of it. Before he could respond Erwin pressed play on the audio file.

“– I’d like, bury my dick inside him and live there if I could. I bet it’s wonderful in there. My dick would have the best time.”

Levi’s eyes widened an alarming amount and in a series of quick movements Levi rounded the desk, shoved Erwin out the way and deleted the offending file.

Levi snapped at Erwin, eyes narrowing dangerously, homicide promised in his mercury eyes. “Fucking hell eyebrows. We just got back. He’s here on the floor and you play this shit?”

“Who’s here Levi?” Erwin’s majestic eyebrows furrowed a bit but the pitch of his voice and the tilt of his head showed he was more amused than confused.

Armin watched on for a while before piecing together Erwin’s new attitude. “Oh no.” Eren was in the office, on this floor and the director’s door was wide open. A small grin grew on his face at the realization along with a newfound respect for Erwin. The man was quicker on his feet than expected.

A rustling sound at the door confirmed Erwin and Armin’s hopes and Levi’s nightmare. Eren Yeager stood just before the threshold carrying tea and a Krispy Kreme takeout bag.

“You guys finally heard it.” Spilled from the boy’s lips with no hesitation shocking the room and leaving blank expressions on the occupant’s faces.

“Finally?”

“You heard?”

“What?”

Eren walked into the room, placed Levi’s tea in front of Armin and opened his bag. He took a bite of the bagel as he looked at each face not understanding why they looked so surprised. “Yeah, Hange played this for me like, the next day. It’s been weeks. You guys just finding it?”

Armin blinked quickly recovering from the surprise. “I just found it last night reviewing everything before we turn over the evidence to Nanaba’s team. You’ve known for weeks?”

“Mm.” Eren confirmed through another bite of the bagel. “Hange just told me to not say anything cause it’d get weird.”

“It’s already pretty fucking weird Eren.” Levi said finally.

“So was the whole ass to mouth thing but you know. We couldn’t afford any distractions so I just didn’t say anything. Figured it was for the best.” Eren casually ate his breakfast while the others watched in awe of his sudden personality change. Eren was not one for forethought, level headedness or any kind of emotional maturity and yet here he was. “To answer your question Captain, I switch.”

Levi’s scowled at the suddenly realistic brunet as he ate. Not believing anything that came out Eren’s mouth. “You what?”

Eren rolled his eyes in response as Armin giggled in the chair beside him. “You asked Hange if I was only a top. I switch.”

“Fuck” was the only reasonable response to the newly acquired information. Levi’s mind was soon filled with filthy images of Eren’s whining and writhing, caged between his own strong arms, split on his hardening member. As he noted his partial erection he regarded Erwin once more. “Give us today and tomorrow off.”

A glimmer of approval shone in the directors eyes as he nodded and a small smile formed on his lips. “Sure thing Levi. Anything else?”

While Erwin confirmed his request Levi snatched up his tea and made grabby hands at Eren. “My place. Now.” He nearly snatched the boy up by his collar in his impatience. Instead he snapped twice and the brunet’s grin. “Hurry the fuck up.”

Eren jolted into action, nearly tripping over himself as he followed Levi from the office. The excitement of being pinned down by Levi made him hard in an instant. After 7 weeks of fantasizing, it was happening on a random Thursday morning after chasing dead leads all night.

#ereri fanfic #ereri #riren #ao3fic #snk #modern au #eren yeager #eren jaeger #levi ackerman #levi #drunk levi #erwin smith #armin arlert #winmin

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scummy-writes · 6 years

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Con Adventures!

--- Day One ---

The first day of con was pretty neat, and the very first thing we did was make our way to the dealers room so we could get to Cheritz's merch booth asap! The line to the room was kind of crazy, and I had never really been made to wait in such a long line for the dealers room before, but it was worth it finally getting to the booth!

(One side of it, I never managed to get a picture of the other side ;×; )

Thankfully the line wasn't too big, and everyone was very kind! I ended up spending....a lot.... but a fun thing the booth did was give you these bags if you bought something! The front and back looked like this:

While in line, I got to meet Mantamints, Mod Zen from Doodlemessenger, and Saeranuu! They were all such sweethearts and so nice, and Saeranuu even gave me a postcard!

So cute!! I was with Crystalsoul16 and Byebi during the con, and so Byebi was where I got the adorable Seven sticker from!

Pretty soon after saying hi and so on, we wondered around the dealers room until it was about time for the autographs to start, and we sat in the pre-line for a while and messed around on our phones while fawning over our bags.

I ran into the V and Yoosung cosplayer then, and got a picture, but right before then the Yoosung had asked if we wanted them to punch V before the picture and I ended up going "nOOOOO!" while laughing a lot. They were funny and kind!

For the autographs line it was really nerve inducing! I've only managed autographs from bands I've enjoyed before, but this had me so nervous, aaa orz Everyone has fun stories, but all I ended up doing was saying "Thank you" 2937947 times like a broken record, because I was too scared to say much else and didn't want to bother them.

They weren't mean, of course, and were incredibly sweet, but....ya know....anxiety. I ended up wearing my RFA badge to get the paper, and I'm so happy I was able the paper! I didn't......really.....bring....anything to sign....outside of that KSHSKDK i was a dumbass.

V's voice actor ended up asking for clarification on how to say my name, but since it's a little difficult he ended up pronouncing it wrong, and....without thinking...i corrected him, and I really regret doing that because he apologized a bit and I had to sit there feeling like a jerk o|-< People get my name wrong all the time at work so I'm used to rolling with it, so I have no idea what possessed me to correct him.

The autograph paper was great because they ended up having the VAs that couldn't come presign it! I'm so happy to be able to get all of them, but I'm also incredibly happy Sujin Ri was able to sign it was well! She looked so happy being asked to sign it!

After that, it was more wandering around the con, and I managed to run into Crystalstellar!! She gave me skeleton washi tape rolls ;v; She remembered I love skellies....

I closed my first day with this beauty:

I know its not MM related, but a quick note- People who can play this machine on extreme and get over 90% completion are insane and terrifying, but amazing to watch! Me and another guy were in line for the machines watching two dudes absolutely ROCK and we ended up talking about how awesome they were at it!

--- Day Two ---

I know everyone wants me to get to the panel stuff asap, probably, but for a little while I didn't even think we were going to make it to the panel! Crystal, Bibi, and I left the hotel early enough to try and get a good spot in line for the panel, but ended up getting stuck in a line for bag checks that wrapped around to the back of the first building.

I'm very, very, very, v e r y, thankful they did bag checks- incredibly thankful, but we waited in line for a while in super hot weather, with folks in full body costumes and such around us, only for them to...barely even check my bag????? The first day I had a small purse, and the woman checked the pockets fast and efficiently, and sent me on my way, but the second day I had a backpack on and the dude completely ignored two pockets?

I even pointed it out to them because they were big enough to like, put dangerous shit in if someone wanted to, and he told me to go ahead anyway? Like....if you're going to have a bag check line so big and make a big deal out of it, why the fuck aren't you actually checking the bags???

Jesus christ. I'm thankful no one wanted to do anything dangerous at the con.

Anyway, we ended up making it to the panel line in good enough time to get good seats, and eventually got in!

Before talking about the panel, I do want to link This Post where Mod Zen from Doodlemessenger recorded the panel from their spot! As of right now the official panel video isn't out, so this is nice for those of you who couldn't come! (Be sure to thank Mod Zen!!)

I don’t know what all to say about the panel, to be honest, especially after linking a video about it, but the person who set up the sound/video and was introducing the game was so funny and sweet. He seemed very nervous, but I felt like he helped give a calm air to the room, you know? He wasn’t afraid to joke around a little and he explained how surprised they were that so many people showed up.

I wasn’t really expecting them to play the opening video, but hearing everyone sing along made me happy ahhh ;;;; I get stupidly emotional over stuff like that ;w; And people actually cheered for Jaehee and Yoosung!!! I was so happy at that too!! I hope Cheritz can see that lots of people love them as well aaaaaa

I did like how they had the VA’s come out to reinact a few key VNS, and I was pretty surprised they had Ray’s VA do That VN, but it was so nice seeing and hearing all of them live, aaa.....aaaaa

I think my favorite parts of the panels were Sujin Ri explaining her thought process with the characters, and then the Va’s talking about how they felt towards their character/others. It was interesting hearing it all, and honestly Sujin Ri talking about how Seven came to be killed me o|-< I just really wanted to give her a hug after that.

However, when she was talking about Jumin, and confirming he went through something traumatic with his mother, I felt aaah...sad and worried. Of course I’m not sure if she meant his birth mother, or a step mother, but I’m hoping that one theory I had isn’t actually true. It’s one thing to have it as a theory, but it possibly being true really....really....hurts. Not trying to say I hate that being written in, but I just don’t want these characters to have such hardships weeps

Hearing that Rika purposely made Yoosung weaker as well hurt. aaah o|-< I dont know why I had hoped otherwise, though, when its apparent that she hardly had any sincere relationships of any kind.

And speaking of, I was very thankful that Sujin Ri said that she had aimed for folks to see V and Rika's relationship as abusive- because it is. That's not me pointing to shippers and trying to mock them, I just mean I'm thankful that she was blunt about that, and that there's a good of how some relationships seem perfect at a glance, but once you pay more attention you can see how abusive some really are.

In my opinion, theres a lot of relationships portrayed as healthy or ideal in most medias, so I'm thankful when some abusive ones arent always shown as the same carbon-copy cutout tropes people often try and show them as- so that people can see abuse takes many shapes and aren't always covered in warning flags.

Ahh, serious topics aside, I also think V's va was....a huge highlight of the panel. He was hilarious, sweet, and, well...the Rika thing killed me akahjwhkwbqjshdkg

A lot of people are probably very upset the panel didn't get to Rika, and also didn't get to a Q&A session, but I hope you all realize that they were trying very hard to cover all the bases. Apparently, the con ended up cutting their time short, but I don't have any links to prove that, it was just what I've heard.

I'm assuming they're probably going to upload the video and maybe have an addition of Rika with talk of her VA (I hooope T_T) and try to answer the online Q&A's in some sort of format.

There's parts of the panel I didn't mention directly, and I want you guys to know that doesn't mean I hated those parts- I loved the whole panel. All of it. Every bit- I just don't see a reason to go over every little bit when I've linked a post with a recording of the panel, aaa... But if you guys wanna ask questions about my thoughts on things, please feel free! I love asks like that.

After the panel we ended up wandering around the artist alley a lot! I felt bad I couldn't snap some pics of another Rika cosplayer (and there was someone dressed as V's mom too!!!!!!!), but I had loads of fun! There were so many more MM cosplayers out on Sat, and it was so cool seeing all of them! I even ran into someone that looked so much like Saeran!! (But my friend took pictures of them, haha, I ended up getting too shy to ask if I could take one).

At the end of the night, I got to play Sushi Go with friends! I talked a little about that in a previous post, but it was so fun!

And...then I snuck to the Miku machines before the game room closed aaaaaaaaa

--- Day Three ---

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Went home.

Dhskjdkd I know some of you are probably like "Whaaaat!" Because there was another autograph signing, and as much as I love Cheritz and the Va's, there was an 8 hr drive ahead of me, and parking in Washington is fucking insane. Me and Crystal decided to head home as early as we could, and I'm glad for that because it was pretty late when we got back orz

I still have a lot to do, like find a proper pillow for my ray emoji case, and to hang up everything I bought, so I'm sorry for this post taking so long orz I'm still exhausted

Thank you for reading!!

#scum goes to The Con

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jyuanka · 6 years

Text

A small fic for Cheadle’s birthday, which I headcanon is in September 12. She emits powerful Virgo energies.

Cheadle stared at the elegant bundle of lilies and the curious rectangle encased in pretty blue paper wrap –which she was damn certain is a book– and found her hand pressing anxiously over a rapid heartbeat.

Forgive me for missing your birthday

I’ll make up for it when I see you

Love,

Leorio

She had read the words on the card for ten times, and those were just the ones she counted. At this point they kind of just echoed in her mind even when she wasn’t looking at them –which wasn’t much; it’s been either in her hand or in her pocket since she’d received it– and now she finally had the peace of mind to sit down and contemplate it. Fondly. Terribly so. The smooth surface of the white card gleamed with her sweat.

The lilies were in a vase, the work of Beans, who remained conspicuously silent as he took the bouquet off her desk and arranged the flowers himself. She scrutinized him but he’d pretended not to notice.

The other gift still lay next to the vase, bright and mysterious, and if Cheadle obsessed any more over not opening it now the thing was going to develop a voice and start taunting her. She had better self-control.

She got off the couch and ripped the paper to shreds.

A book. Hardback, an exquisite shade of blue, embossed with golden letters.

The Uses and Abuses of Salamander Gray, an Impertinent Biography

She wanted to shriek.

Her giddiness and happiness remained firm under the barrage of questions she wanted to ask. The book looked pristine, new like a novel that just dropped fresh this week and stood glossy behind bookstore display windows, yet her fingers reached tentatively, almost reverently, to open the heavy cover, in part because it was a gift from him and in part because this book was ancient. More precisely, written long time ago.

She was too nervous to actually look at the words inside on the first page. If she knew anything, it was that this book was either costume-made, which in this case definitely meant reprinted without author permission –Leorio was going to have to explain himself for that one– or –and this what made her breathless with expectations– a once privately-owned copy never meant for distribution.

It was the latter.

Once her eyes finally adjusted on the page, her heart grew another heart, one that beat with an exhausting fierceness.

The date, the publishing house, and right on the next page, the autograph. More than that, a dedication in a sweeping, loopy, elegant handwriting that was definitely not Leorio’s.

For the illustrious Mademoiselle Yorkshire,

I have followed your career and work ever since I had the pleasure of reading your first article published in Vitruvia, and I find all of it most fascinating. Rigorous and dedicated, you observe the world around you with cautious yet sharp, curious eyes. I cannot imagine a more perfect successor. It’s an absolute delight to know worthy Hunters carry the torch of one’s lifelong work, a feeling with which I’m certain you’re familiar.

A bloody-minded gentleman with remarkably steady hands and a talk full of you schemed and bartered his way into acquiring this book from me. A story I reckon he will enjoy telling you. I suppose I can no longer win with those feisty young Hunters. They become haughtier by the year, don’t you agree?

My memoirs now rest in your hands. A lesson, a challenge, or something else? I can only speculate as to which way you will approach what you find in this book, nevertheless I know you will make the best of it.

Your fellow Hunter, and a fan,

S. Gray

Cheadle suppressed a squeal of joy. She wanted to smack herself with the book to jolt her body out of the quiet, slumbering happiness that overtook every part of her senses, but knew that wasn’t even an option. Instead, she slowly fell back on the couch and had an urge to lay down with the book held tightly to her chest and stare in contentment at absolute nothingness until her world made sense again.

Her mind fell back to that instance in her past, that golden, glorious moment when she had finally figured out what kind of Hunter she wanted to be, holding the works of this very same man and seeing the answers to all her questions bloom within her like a flower that once unraveled, never withers. It had come to her in less than a minute, a furious spark, and she’d caught it, wrapping her fingers around it and knowing in that unshakable way that she wanted nothing more in the world than to be a virus Hunter. She had the medical background, after all, all she needed was to know the right people and establish herself in the field with some legwork.

All because of this man.

And she had mentioned this to Leorio at some point. She knew she did but it was certainly in passing, certainly years and years ago, and he remembered. She could hazard a guess as to how he managed to not only meet one of the most reclusive Hunters to ever exist, but to get him to sign his memoirs for her, memoirs that were printed in a handful of copies and distributed within a limited circle. Leorio probably had blood on his hands for this. Not in a murder attempt, certainly, but doctors almost always found better ways.

Cheadle pulled her phone out of her pocket and contemplated calling him. It was 12 pm for her but 6 am for him. Unless there was an emergency in his vicinity then he most likely wouldn’t be awake. She slipped the phone back and decided it wasn’t a good time to call, and besides, she probably wouldn’t know what to say. A simple ‘thank you’ lurked there somewhere among the myriad of sentences she already cooked up, but that was too much brevity, even for her.

Her fingers were still tight around the phone when it buzzed. It almost slipped out of her fingers in her haste to answer. “Hello,”

“You know, I’ve read that nen science has developed so far that reversing the aging process is now completely within the realm of possibility. I know a professional, I can hook you up if you want.”

“Good morning to you too, Leorio.”

“Happy birthday, grandma!” Leorio cackled.

She snorted. “Fuck you.”

“Sure, I’ll bend over.” He teased. “To be completely honest, that was my original idea for a primary gift, but since I wouldn’t have been able to deliver it on time, I thought I’ll keep it as a ‘secret gift’ for when we’re, you know, face to face.”

Cheadle smiled. “How disappointing.”

He laughed. “No seriously, happy birthday. I wish you all the happiness and great things in the world.”

She reclined farther on the couch, a stupid smile persisting on her face. “Thank you, I wish you the same as well.” She sighed, feeling her heartbeat hammer against the book. “Unlike you, to be awake at this hour.”

“I’m feeling energetic today.”

“Energetic enough to tell me about your little adventure?”

“Oh hell yeah,” Leorio said. “But not on the phone.”

She couldn’t help herself but ask. “What was he like?”

“Kind of an asshole.” Leorio said. “It’s a good thing my hands were deep in his intestines, otherwise I would have been at a disadvantage.”

Cheadle chuckled. “I’m sure.”

“Did you like them? The gifts, I mean.”

“Very much,” she answered, hoping that the sound of her erratic breathing didn’t reach him. “Thank you.”

“I’m so glad.” The sound of his erratic breathing reached her. “So, how does forging into the second year of your forties feel like?”

“Not bad, certainly much better than last year.” Cheadle said, and the peppiness in her voice wasn’t a conscious effort.

“Feeling old yet? You know forty in nen-user years is like twenty.”

Cheadle chuckled. “Not at all. In fact, I feel lush and exuberant. According to Cluck, I look ‘radiant’ today.”

“You always look radiant.”

She rolled her eyes, her brain’s defense against the way her heart swelled at his words. “No I don’t.”

“You do!” He insisted. “You always look freshly minted, like you just stepped out of the shower fragrant and fully dry.”

Cheadle shrunk on herself with embarrassment. If he was here she would have clamped her hands over his mouth.

“What are you doing?”

“I was preparing some papers for a meeting.” She said, neglecting to mention the time she wasn’t doing that which she spent diligently laboring over the card he sent. “You?”

“Looking at the sunrise,” he exhaled. “Wishing you’re here.”

She closed her eyes, processing the fluttery sensation in her chest. “You shouldn’t say things like that.”

“Huh, why?”

“It makes me sad.” She confessed, and when he was about to say something she interrupted him. “I wore that black dress I showed you once, to the party last week.”

He swallowed back whatever he was going to say. “Pic or it didn’t happen.”

“I won’t let you manipulate me into sending you a picture.”

“I’m not asking for nudes here,” Leorio huffed. “But if that’s what you want…”

“I would never.” Cheadle grinned. “I know how it would go. I send you the picture, and then you say: ‘oh you look pretty young for a forty one year old woman’, then I would thank you but deep inside I would resent the implications.”

“I’d never do that!” He protested, and she could hear his footsteps echo through the phone. “Also commenting on people’s age is a double edged sword for me, you see. I’m always careful with it.”

Cheadle chuckled. “Of course. I still remember when that nurse whispered how you were ‘too old for me’.”

“That.” Leorio said, a bite to his voice. “We weren’t even together then.”

“And we’re not together now.”

Leorio cleared his throat. She opened her eyes. Both of them seemed to abruptly sober up.

“You know what I mean.” Leorio’s voice was now quieter, almost apologetic.

“Yeah, I do.” She bit her lip. “I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay.”

A long silence stretched between them, exacerbated by the clanking noises around him, the sound of somebody else saying something to him, Bean poking his head inside her office to tell her something. She didn’t know if they had anything left to say. She regretted making that remark, the way it quickly turned the conversation sour.

“What are you thinking about?” He was still there.

Cheadle hummed. “Whether I should send you those nudes or not.”

“Really?” His voice was still quiet but he seemed to lighten up.

“Really.”

“Are you going to?”

She hummed again, pretending to be deep in thought. “The possibility is certainly present.”

Leorio snorted. “Any specific date? Time?”

“No.” Cheadle snickered. “You’ll just have to spend your day in anticipation.”

He laughed but said nothing.

Cheadle sighed. “When are you coming back?”

“Next week, probably. I just need to wrap up some things here, leave some reliable people behind.”

“Alright,” she held the book closer to her heart.

“Cheadle?”

“Hmm?”

“I want to talk about it when I see you, okay?”

“Your encounter with a most mysterious man?” She knew what he meant, but had this sudden need to stave off the inevitable, to stall the heavy conversation, to push back against conclusions.

“No, I meant the ‘us’ thing. And about the Salamander guy, too.” He trailed off with an unsure chuckle.

The Salamander guy. She didn’t even have it in her to be offended at his wording.

“We’ll talk about everything,” she assured him, and meant it, to her own surprise. “But mostly you’ll bend over.”

Leorio laughed. “Fine, but you will be very nice with me.”

“Absolutely.”

Beans popped his head inside her office once again, beckoning for her more urgently now, and she nodded to him. “I have to go, they’re waiting for me.”

“Yeah okay,” Leorio said. “See you next week then?”

“Yeah, see you next week.”

#cheadle's b'day #hxh #hxh fic #leodle #tumblr ficcing #this ends horribly but also i don't know how to end it without making it unbearably cheesy #and also im like #emotionally done with it #growing as a writer also means resisting every chance to shit on your writing #and just like #let it be average #reposting this fic from last year is an act of atonement

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zephfair · 6 years

Text

Grimmjow, accidental beauty blogger?

Inspired by my own stupid post and @the8thsphynx priceless comment. I was hit by the crack fairy after I realized that I had no idea how Pinterest actually works, so I made this up as I went. And thanks to my friend @dreamywritingdragon I even figured out my Pinterest name! xD I’m dumb.

The vibration of his phone woke Grimmjow with a snort. He opened one gummy eye just enough to squint as he fished under his pillow for the phone. For fuck’s sake, who the hell messaged him at the crack of 1 p.m. on a Sunday?

His head throbbed from the weekend’s parties as he finally held the phone, but peeling his other eye open didn’t help the messages make sense.

Yuzulemon: HI! I really love your stuff, your hair is so pretty! The color is beautiful and it looks so soft! I just wondered if you have any advice for keeping it long? Like, I’m trying to convince my brother to grow his out but he says it would be too much trouble?

Yuzulemon: Also you’re really cute trying out the makeup. You go, boy! That green really suits you!

Both messages were sprinkled with emojis, but Grimmjow still couldn’t understand. They were sent to his personal Jmail account, but he’d never heard of the chick. So he ignored it and rolled over, but the phone vibrated again.

Yuzulemon: Sorry to keep bothering you, but how long did it take to get your hair that long? I think if I can get my brother past the first stage so he can pull it up, he’ll be OK. Did you do ponytails a lot? Or man-buns? It looks nice the way you have it now too!

Grimmjow had enough.

BigBadGrimm: STFU I don’t know who the fuck you are but leave me alone.

He’d just dozed back off when the phone vibrated in his hand. Groaning, he swiped the message open but this time it was from another account.

Oneberry: Hey asshole, that’s my sister you upset. Don’t be a dick and stop posting shit of yourself if you don’t want comments on it.

Posting shit? What? Grimmjow managed to sit up against the bed’s headboard and swallow a few times to fend off the nausea. He’d had a good weekend, a big party Friday night at a sorority and another huge party Saturday, first at a bar and then finishing at the house he shared with friends. They didn’t join a fraternity, but they nicknamed the house Hueco Mundo and they definitely knew how to party.

Grimmjow vaguely remembered getting into a fight with Nnoitra and Szayelaporro about something, but that wasn’t unusual. They were usually pissing each other off over anything from who ate what food to putting the moves on the wrong person someone else had called dibs on.

He definitely didn’t have any recollection of posting anything online last night.

He thumbed out a reply: Fuck you. And your sister.

Since he was awake and cranky, Grimmjow swept through the rest of his Jmail account and saw a series of mails from Wintrest. Wasn’t that the site that suburban moms used to look at pictures of food and house shit? Grimmjow had certainly never even glanced at the site, let alone signed up for an account.

Only he had. Or someone had. There was a welcome email and a verify-the-account email, both of which were marked read. Grimmjow scowled at the screen as he saw recommended lists for him to check and then, to his growing horror, several reactions to “his” posts.

“Oh shit,” he grumbled as he opened one. Then his messenger vibrated with a message.

Oneberry: You don’t get to say that. That’s my sister, you despicable sack of shit. Hdu. You’re an asshole and I’ll post this so everyone can see your asshole ways.

BigBadGrimm: Go ahead, what do I care

The first post Grimmjow opened made him swear loudly. The picture had been taken his first year at university, when he’d still had the super-long hair that he always loudly claimed gave him the most energy and power. His friends had mocked him ruthlessly so he’d cut it off eventually, but he remembered doing that pose one night, looking back over his shoulder, smirking for the camera, all his luscious, wavy hair flowing down his back. It was that bitch-ass Szayel who’d taken it.

To his extreme amazement and annoyance, the picture had already been liked seven times. Under it, with the badly misspelled mess characteristic to Nnoitra, was something about washing his hair only in seltzer water because the bubbles gave it body.

He snarled and went to the next one and the next. Most of them were his long hair in various stages, when it seemed like it had a mind of its own. Each had some asinine “advice” like only washing it when the moon was full or dipping it in beer in between so it could drink and be bouncy.

Then he saw one that he knew Ulquiorra had taken in their dorm bathroom freshman year. Grimmjow had his hair pulled back off his face with a thick headband and the rest tied up sloppily on his head as he leaned over the sink brushing his teeth, his eyes gazing into the mirror.

Under that were some suggestions on maintaining the whitest teeth with frequent brushing and even more applications of liquor. Grimmjow gnashed his teeth as if he imagined them biting into a certain someone’s tender white throat.

His traitorous phone vibrated twice.

Oneberry: You’re at Karakura right? I’ll find your ass and make you sorry. Dick. My sister was just trying to be nice.

Oneberry: You don’t even look good. Who the fuck grows their hair into a mullet that long?

Grimmjow pinched his nose. The last few pics were more recent. They were from gatherings all over campus, with him in various stages of undress, showing his current hair and trademark grin, although he noticed his “friends” had been carefully cropped out of each shot. The last one from Halloween was a video and he steeled himself to press the play arrow.

It was only a few seconds of when he’d been beside Szayel at a mirror, sarcastically narrating the process as he applied the makeup for his costume. He winced at his affected voice as he swiped green eyeshadow in exaggerated swirls all around his eyes and pouted for the camera that he knew was being held by Nnoitra.

There was only one thing to do.

Those bastards were dead.

Of course they had just used his phone to log in to Jmail, so they didn’t even have to make up new accounts. If Grimmjow hadn’t been so hungover and so angry, he might have admired that they’d actually taken that much time and trouble to fuck him over. But he didn’t care about that; he just wanted to wring their necks.

Then he realized that there were a couple comments under most of the pictures, and every single one of them was positive. Even the one that some dickwad posing as him—it had Nnoitra all over it—claimed he used jizz to keep his hair in its current coiffed position. The Yuzulemon girl had given it heart-eyes and a laugh then a thumbs-up.

Well, didn’t Grimmjow feel like a dick now.

He slowly and carefully composed a message to Yuzulemon, carefully watching the autocorrect.

Hey, sorry I didn’t know about the pics on Wintrest. I didn’t post them. Some guys did it as a joke. I just woke up and found out. I’m sorry I yelled at you.

He hit send and then quickly opened another message. Thank you for the nice things you said. If you really do have questions about hair, I could try and answer. I let mine grow all through high school. I cut it off last year.

He waited a moment in silence then even more slowly typed, erased and retyped a message to Oneberry.

Hey, sorry about before. My friends made that account to fuck me over. I didn’t know. I apologized to your sister. I shouldn’t have been such an asshat to her.

While he chewed at his thumbnail and waited for a reply, he re-read what Oneberry had sent him more closely.

WTF how do you know I’m at Karakura? You go here too?

There were no replies and Grimmjow was forced to answer the call of nature and retreat to the bathroom. He didn’t run into any of his housemates so he took a long shower before heading back to his room. He was getting dressed and debating what he wanted to try eating when his phone finally buzzed.

Maybe Yuzulemon and Oneberry had needed time to talk to each other. Maybe they were reporting him to someone. Maybe their family had a weird obsession with fruit.

Grimmjow snatched the phone quickly to see a message from Oneberry.

You’re a sick fucker and your friends are worse. Too bad all that hair must have smothered your good manners.

Well, it looked like his very sincere apology wasn’t going to be accepted. He sent back a single character—the middle finger emoji.

He’d just pulled on his shirt when his phone went off. This time he sat down to read the message from Yuzulemon.

That sucks! Your friends are mean! But you could have explained that before you went off on me.

He answered immediately. I know. I’m sorry. Your messages woke me up and I didn’t know what was going on.

Yuzulemon: Well next time you should think before you hit send.

Grimmjow grimaced at the string of emojis, but he had to admit the kid was right.

Yeah, ok, he wrote back.

Yuzulemon answered quickly. Sorry that my brother went after you. He was sitting here when I got your reply and he’s kinda Big Brother sometimes. He goes to Karakura too.

Grimmjow just had to ask. How do you know where I go to school?

Yuzulemon: *series of laughing emojis* We live in Karakura and your pics showed campus in the background.

Yuzulemon: Oops, not your pics but the pics you were in. My bro is a freshman.

Well, at least that explained that. He felt a little better that they hadn’t actually stalked him or anything.

Nice. I’m a junior.

Yuzulemon: Do you have a gf? Bf?

Grimmjow stared at his phone and didn’t know how to answer. He was definitely not into high school or younger girls, which she must be if her “big” brother was only a freshman.

Then his phone vibrated in a fury.

Oneberry: YUZU WTF

Oneberry: WHAT ARE YOU DOING QUIT TALKING TO HIM

And Grimmjow realized Yuzulemon had been copying Oneberry in on their latest conversation. Shit.

Yuzulemon: It’s OK! He’s nice!

Grimmjow quickly typed I only date guys. There, that should get the brother off his back before he blew his top again.

Yuzulemon: Cool, you should get together with Ichi and talk him into letting his hair grow. I think he would look SO GOOD with long hair like yours.

Oneberry: YUZU IM NOT KIDDING IM BREAKING INTO YOUR ROOM STOP IT

Grimmjow couldn’t help a laugh. I don’t think your brother would like that.

Yuzulemon: Why not? You could at least tell him what a tattoo feels like. He’s always threatening Dad that he’s going to get one but Dad won’t let him.

How do you know about my tattoos?

Yuzulemon: I could see them peeking out from under your hair in the shirtless pics!

Oneberry: YUZU IM TELLING DAD IF YOU DONT OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW

Grimmjow felt weirdly exposed.

Yuzulemon: Here’s a pic I took of Ichigo last week.

Grimmjow felt something totally different when the picture loaded.

Oneberry: NEVERMIND IM CLIMBING THE TREE AND BUSTING THE WINDOW IF I HAVE TO STOP TALKING TO THIS FREAK

This Ichigo had a killer six-pack and was holding up the bottom of his T-shirt to show it off. His mouth was open in a scowl as if he were telling the picture taker not to do it. The picture cut off at his nose, but Grimmjow liked what he saw.

Yuzulemon: Why don’t you two meet up for coffee tonight? He’s usually only in class or at the gym but I think he needs more friends.

Yuzulemon: He won’t admit it, but I think he likes your hair too. *series of winky and kissy faces*

Grimmjow rubbed his hand over his face. This was the strangest and most bizarre way he’d ever been set up in his life, but damn if he didn’t almost want to meet the guy.

I don’t think we have much in common. Thanks anyway.

Yuzulemon: Don’t say that! He likes reading and music and mixed martial arts and all kinds of fun stuff!

Oneberry: SO HELP ME YUZU IF I FALL OUT THIS TREE

Yuzulemon: Here’s his number. Text him directly. I have to go see if he really fell. Maybe you could visit him in the hospital!

Grimmjow let out a long breath and barked another laugh.

But he saved the number. Just in case.

And he clicked on the link Yuzu provided to go to her Wintrest page. After a few minutes of looking through the recipes and desserts she’d apparently tried and succeeded at, he followed her. Since his “friends” had been so kind to make him an account, he might as well not let it go to waste.

He stripped his shirt back off, pulled his jeans down low on his hips and with some twisting and fumbling, managed to take a good picture of one of his back tattoos with his own smirk visible in the mirror. It didn’t take long for him to figure out how to upload it to Wintrest with a special comment.

Don’t have much to say about hair or makeup, but I do like tattoos and working out. And I could give advice to any dumbass trying to climb a tree—DON’T.

He didn’t even have to wait a minute before Yuzulemon liked his post and gave it about a hundred heart eyes.

Ego properly stoked, Grimmjow pocketed his phone when he heard the shouting and slamming doors that indicated some of his housemates returning from wherever. After he dealt them a righteous retribution of asskicking, he might just text Ichigo. He couldn’t be as bad as Grimmjow’s own friends, could he?

#my fic #crack fic #i'm sorry #i just had this mental picture and i couldn't help myself #my apologies to the8thsphynx #i'm sorry i couldn't write you anything better

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ryqoshay · 6 years

Text

How to Handle a Nico: En Passant

Primary Pairing: NicoMaki Pretty Much Assumed Pairings: RinPana, NozoEli, KotoUmi Words: ~1.3k Rating: G Time Frame: Middle’ish of Maki’s 1st year and Nico’s 3rd year in high school Story Arc: Stand Alone

List of all HtHaN scenes

Author’s Note: After several Anon Asks, a cute illustration by myon, lots of thinking and even more banging my head against things, my µ’s muse finally let me write this scene.

“Oh, what are these, nya?” Rin asked, poking at the bag on the clubroom table.

“Nico-chan and I found some props for the Wonderland photoshoot.” Kotori replied, opening the bag and retrieving two items. “I thought these would look wonderful on Hanayo-chan and Rin-chan.”

“Crowns?” Hanayo blinked.

“For the king and queen pieces of a chess set.” Nico explained.

“Chess?” Rin asked. “I thought Alice met cards?”

“In the first book, yes.” Nico nodded. “The second book had a chess theme.”

“So which one is the queen?” Rin inspected the crowns in Kotori’s hands.

“This one.” The costume designer held it up.

Rin quickly grabbed it, turned and placed it on Hanayo’s head. “It looks cute on you, Kayo-chin.” She grinned happily at her friend.

“I think it would look cute on you as well, Rin-chan.” The youngest µ’s member replied.

The cat-like girl grinned as she took the other crown. “Rin likes this one, nya!” She placed it on top of her head. “Rin and Kayo-chin can now rule together!” She pulled the other girl into a hug and nuzzled against her, not caring that the motion knocked both crowns off their heads.

“What other pieces do you have in there?” Honoka inquired, leaning over to get a better look in the bag.

“Two knights, two bishops and two rooks, just like the primary pieces of chess.” Nico explained as Kotori began setting out the props. “And one pawn for the ninth person, even though there are actually more pawns than that.”

“So, how should we decide who gets to represent which piece?” Umi asked.

“Perhaps we could draw for them?” Eli suggested.

“I think Umi-chan would make a fine knight.” Kotori said. “And we found these for the knights.” She handed the archer a prop sword.

“Umi-chan would definitely make an awesome knight.” The leader of µ’s agreed. “Ne, ne, what pieces are next to the knight?”

“The knight starts between a bishop and a rook.” The former student body president stated.

“Then Kotori-chan and I should each be one of those.”

“If that’s the case,” Nozomi spoke up, “I believe Honoka-chan would make a good rook.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Because the rook moves in straight lines on the board.” The shrine maiden smiled at her junior. “And you’re always driving us forward.”

Honoka grinned. “I like that idea! Say, which one of these is for the rook?”

Kotori handed her the crown in question.

Honoka’s smile only grew as she placed the prop on her head. “µ’s! Forward!” She pointed straight ahead of herself as though giving an order to advance. This earned her a laugh from some of her friends.

“So, does that make Kotori-chan a bishop then?” Rin asked.

“I think that would suit her well.” Hanayo said before her gaze turned to one of the third years. “And with her spiritual powers, I think Nozomi would also make a good bishop.”

“I’ll happily represent the bishop with Kotori-chan.” Nozomi accepted her crown from the mentioned second year.

“And that just leaves three more, nya!” Rin looked back and forth among the girls in question. “I think Maki-chan and Eli-chan would be good as either a knight or a rook.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” Nico nodded before something clicked in her mind. “Hey, that would just leave the pawn for me!”

“Exactly.” Nozomi laughed.

“Nico is not a pawn!” The raven-haired girl protested.

“I dunno, Nicocchi, you’re pretty easily manipulated…”

“I am n…” Nico cut off as she realized she was playing into the trap of the purple-haired girl. She crossed her arms defiantly. “Nico should be a knight or rook. Maki-chan can be the pawn.” She turned to the redhead. “Right, Maki-chan? You don’t care what piece you represent, right?”

Maki, who up until now had remained silent, merely shrugged and twirled her hair around her finger. “Not really.”

Truth be told, she was looking forward more to seeing the outfits Kotori and the photography company had put together for them to wear. She had seen Kotori’s proposed designs and was curious how the final results would look on everyone. And it wasn’t as if she didn’t appreciate the addition of the accessories to compliment the theme, but it really didn’t matter which piece she ended up representing; Rin, Nico and Nozomi would probably find a way to tease her about it.

“We could still draw for it,” Eli pointed out, “even just with the three of us.”

“I think Eli-chan would make a lovely knight.” Kotori spoke up. “And then she could be next to Nozomi-chan.”

Nozomi chuckled. “I’d be fine with that, though Elicchi and I don’t always have to be next to each other for everything.”

“Maki-chan would also make a good knight.” Honoka pointed out.

“And Eli-chan is good a driving forward like Honoka-chan.” Kotori considered. “Perhaps she would make a good rook.”

“But that still leaves Nico with being a pawn!” Nico groused.

“Nicocchi is still complaining?” Nozomi held up her hands and flexed her fingers.

“Geh!” Nico took a step back, turned and retreated behind a taller redhead. “Maki-chan! Save me!” She cried before sticking her tongue out at her aggressor.

Maki wasn’t sure why, but the next thing she knew, she had a prop sword in her hand and she was turning to face an approaching Nozomi.

“Yup, Maki-chan is definitely a good knight, nya!” Rin proclaimed.

Nozomi dropped her hands and offered an amused smile. “I couldn’t agree more.”

For a moment, Nico felt her heartrate increase and warmth spread through her chest. She had only intended to tease her favorite first year and hadn’t expected Maki to actually react in such a way. She had decided months ago that she wanted to protect Maki, but after this display, she realized perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to let Maki protect her in return. But only every once in a while. Nico was the older one, after all, so it was only right that Nico protected Maki more. Then she saw red spread to Maki’s ears.

“I… I, uhm…” The pianist sputtered as she dropped the sword back onto the table.

And with that, it was back to teasing. “Dwaaa!” Nico cooed, glomping onto the younger girl from behind. “Maki-chan looked so knightly when she defended Nico from the mean ol’ Nozomi!”

“Nico-chan… I just…”

“And you know, Nicocchi,” Nozomi smirked, “a rook shouldn’t need protection from a knight.”

“For the record,” Umi spoke up, “the pawn should never be dismissed offhand. They have the potential to turn into any other piece on the board, even another queen.”

“Another queen?” Nico raised an eyebrow.

“If it reaches the opponent’s side.”

“Which means the pawn needs to be protected.” Nozomi pointed out. “Like, say, by her knight.”

Maki’s blush had almost faded, but now it returned full force.

“And the pawn has a lot of special rules that allow it to do things no other piece can do.” The blue-haired girl continued. “For example, it can move farther on its opening move, or capture a piece simply by moving behind it.”

“Moving behind it?” Rin perked up. “Then Nico-chan just captured Maki-chan, nya!”

“I did, didn’t I?” Nico giggled as she shifted her embrace so she could rest her chin on the other girl’s shoulder.

“Captured?” Maki questioned, despite not resisting being held. “What the heck?”

“Also, I believe Alice was essentially the pawn in the story.” Hanayo added.

Nico blinked. “You know, I think you’re right Hanayo.” She grinned. “Nico in Wonderland has a nice ring to it, I believe.”

“I don’t get it.” Maki sighed.

“Fine, fine, Nico will be the pawn.”

“Wait…” Rin thought for a moment. “Aren’t there something like nine pawns? Nine Nico-chans?”

“There are eight pawns.” Umi stated.

Maki’s shoulders slumped. “The universe can barely handle one…”

“Nico-nii is pretty amazing.” Nico agreed, though probably not in the way Maki intended. “Nico can see how nine would be overwhelming.”

“Eight.” Umi corrected again.

“Whatever.” Nico dismissed. “Still, there can really only be one true Nico-nii.”

“Idiot…” Maki muttered.

“You like it.” Nico laughed.

“… Maybe…”

“Well,” Eli clapped her hands together “now that that is all decided, let’s work on the next set.”

Seven other girls agreed enthusiastically while one was still thinking about multiple pawns and being captured from behind.

Author’s Notes Continued: 1, 2, 3. Three Anon Asks about the Wonderland set. (Ah! Ah! Ah!) I think my readers really wanted a scene about it, and I can only hope this at least comes close to their expectations. And if it isn’t, perhaps the scene I’d like to write about the photoshoot itself might better suit their fancy... whenever I get around to writing it.

Also, this amazing work by @myonmukyuu played a large part in deciding Maki’s actions to defend Nico. The fact that she has a sword in the card’s depiction and that she was released alongside Nico already had the gears grinding in my mind. Myon’s pic sealed the deal as it made me realize I wasn’t the only one thinking along those lines.

Next, for those readers not well versed in chess, the title of the chapter refers to a special move pawns can make to capture another pawn. It is referencing the fact that Nico captures Maki after moving past her. And yes, for those better versed in chess, I realize that Maki has basically accepted the role as knight at that point and the move cannot be used on that piece. Also, generally speaking, one does not capture friendly pieces.

I tried to keep the chess rules chat overly simplified because I do not see any of the girls being experts. And the point of the scene wansn’t intended to be an in-depth discussion of the game. However, I can see Umi and possibly Hanayo having played a game or two in their time and thus at least knowing the basics; enough to try to help placate a grumpy Nico.

Finally, my original draft had Eli or Nozomi offer to have Nico be part of the secondary focus pair (SSR), but I still have yet to decide how to deal with those in the HtHaN universe. As such, I may come back to this scene later if I eventually figure things out.

Cards Referenced:

And here is the rest of the µ’s Wonderland set if you want to bask in the adorableness.

#NicoMaki #Nishikino Maki #Yazawa Nico #How to Handle a Nico #Love Live #fanfic

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impala-dreamer · 7 years

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NJCon Through A Dreamer's Eyes...

My Memories of the weekend. It’s long, so it’s under the cut.

I know I’m going to forget things, but here’s what I remember most: (in no logical order)

Jason Manns is a really cool dude. We had a few moments that made me think some thoughts. My selfie with him is one of my fave pics from the weekend. We’re totally in love. Lol.

Emily Swallow is a beautiful bird who has been magicked to us from the 1970s and I want to have a sleepover girly party with her and I told her as much. She’s beautiful.

I’m fairly certain that Kim Rhodes and I are the same person.

I want to bed Brianna. And I have no shame in saying that.

Ruth Connell is the most adorable being to ever walk the Earth AND she can fucking sing like an angel and I want to put her in my pocket to keep her forever.

Shoshanna is an absolutely beautiful soul. Her panel was incredible and I cried through most of it. Immediately bought an auto with her afterwards and I’m so happy that I got to meet her. She’s just… an exceptional human being.

Louden Swain!!! So… this is funny. I have always loved Mike. He’s adorable. I said as much when they took the stage on Friday, and April (who just met my husband) says, “Yeah, because he’s an Asian version of Bill (my husband)” to which i was like “Naw…. OH MY LORD you’re right!” lol. I even sent Bill and picture and he goes “Yeah, that’s me!” lol. So… I go to get my CD signed, and I was going down the line and I said “Hi” to Billy, bc … whatever. He gets enough attention. I told Steven about my 10 year old being a drummer and he was like “Awe, cool!” And then.. I get to Mike. I put my hands on the table and leaned over and said: “You wanna hear the most awkward thing you’ll hear all weekend?” He looks up and says “YES!”. “I love you and you’re adorable and I just realized it’s because you look just like my husband.” And he turned pink and giggled. I walked away very proud of myself! Lol.

Jake Abel. Jake… Abel…. He grew up, dude. Wow. That man… is gorgeous. His panel was awesome and we all walked away with a twinkle in our eyes. Well, then we get to his autograph, and April is all cute and nice to him. I get up and lean down on the table (this apparently is my “you listen here, sonny” move of the weekend) and I said, “You sir, are incredibly charming. You panel was great.” And he said “I love compliments! Keep them coming!” April chimes in with “You converted her! She hated Adam!” And I was like “Hold up, I don’t HATE Adam… OK, I did… “ Turn back to Jake and wag my finger at him and go, “You are charming as fuck. Keep it up” And he laughed. He’s fucking charming, and he needs to know that. Lol

JDM: That man OOZES testosterone. I don’t even like him, but he walked passed me and April and my knees actually buckled. He is SEX on legs. I’m not even exaggerating. And he’s so sweet and kind and just amazing.

Rachel Minor was beautiful and so sweet and just a lovely person. Her panel was great and she was truly excited to see everyone. For her autograph, I don’t know what happened, but I just about started to cry, so I turned my face away and she said “No, No, it’s OK” And she grabbed my hand and squeezed me a bit. She was so … she’s just a kind unicorn and that’s the end of that. I will love her for the rest of my days.

Karaoke was LOUD and hilarious. Emily was my favorite thing ever and she wore a Tiger costume and did the running man. She is literally adorable.

SNS- AMAZING. Like, I could probably do 3K just on that, but I won’t. Just know it was very emotional for me and I cried hard. HARD.

MARK SHEPPARD: He was my first photo op. I was a little nervous, but I pushed through. I walked up and said “I have always loved you, Mark.” He smiled and I went to hug him, but he turned me and pressed his cheek to mine for the photo. He was solid and real and I was like “Holy crap”. After the photo, he’s still got his hands on me and I said, “We’re all going to miss you.” And he squeezed my shoulder. I walked away, hit the door and started crying. I don’t know what it was, or why, but I cried. He has been in every single show I’ve ever loved, and … he’s just… MARK. So cool. His panel was FUCKING HILARIOUS AND I LOVE HIM. My auto with him: I have my box ready to sign, but I have a specific place I need J2M2 to sign it, because I’m insane. So… It went something like this:

Me: Hi Mark!Mark: Hi. (kinda smile. He goes to sign the top and I waved my hand over it)

Me: No! Could you please sign on this side?

Mark: No.

Me: Please?Mark: Where?

Me: Here (shows spot)

Mark: No.

Me: Please?Mark: Why?Me: Because I need you to sign in here.

Mark: Why?Me: Because I love you.

Mark: No.

Me: Fucking Sign It!Mark: Well, tip it up!Me: THANK YOU!

Mark: *Smirk*

It was magical and I love him so much.

MISHA COLLINS: I woke up Saturday morning and my first thought was MISHA!!! So… I go in for the auto, and amazingly I’m not too nervous. I see him standing there and I think “fuck, he’s skinny” lol. I watch him do his thing, some girl jumps on his back, another does a silly pose. Then these girls are asking him to do something and he’s saying ‘no’, he doesn’t want to, but they insist, and so they pose with him “smacking” their asses. It kinda seemed like he wasn’t happy with it. So, anyway, I get up and I’m like “Hi Mr. Collins!” And he says Hi, and then I was like “Um… dealer’s choice.” So we smushed together and he gave like a finger gun. It was cute, but I walked away kinda disappointed. Like, he wasn’t MISHA. It was weird. Later at his panel he explained how he’d been traveling for like 17 hours to get there and had taken a sleeping pill and then not slept on the plane, so apparently not-Misha was just exhausted-Misha, so I gave him a pass. We’re cool again. He’s still Misha. BTW- we got TWO Misha panels because of a JDM time issue on Sunday and it was awesome. He is … well… Misha. He’s funny and filthy and I love him. Sigh.

His auto: I had him sign “Sam’s side” of the box. Because I know Crowley and Sam hate each other, so I split up my Destiel for Sam’s sake (did I mention I’m insane? OK, cool)

He goes to sign THE TOP! So I said “i’m so sorry, I gotta direct you to sign over here” and he kinda was like “Fuck you, I do what I want” But he did. IN GOLD. Everyone else signed in silver, but Misha used GOLD because… it’s fuckin’ Misha. Anyway… I said “I know you must be exhausted, but thank you so much for being here. You are fucking amazing.” And he looked up… and Winked that big-ass, Misha wink. And I was like “fuck yeah” Misha.

JENSEN ACKLES: What do I say about Jensen? Do I describe how I could barely look him in the face? I guess I’ll be honest and tell the truth as it happened to me….

I shared an op with my Stephie (bless her for snatching that up for us). I was fine on line, we get in the room and I start freaking out. Halfway up the line I turn to her and say, “I don’t feel good” And she goes “You’re fine” and I’m like, “I am. I got this.”

Then I feel it. I know I’m going to cry. It’s so tight in my gut and it’s working it’s way up. Now, my fear before hand was being taken out of line in my Jared op, so for this to be happening for Jensen kinda shocked me. So, I finally see him, and I grabbed Steph’s arm and I remember saying “THIGHS” lol. But then all hell breaks loose inside of me. I start shaking and the tears are coming. We get two away, and I spin around away from Jensen and say aloud, “I AM NO OK!” So the I’m Alive lady steps towards me, but Steph calls her off and just spins me back around, has her hand on my back and she’s like “It’s OK, bring it down. You got this.” And SOMEHOW I managed to suck it all up and walk over to Jensen.

Now, here’s where it gets blurry. I look up at his face and I go, “Oh My God!” And I run to him. He opens his arms, and I duck under one, and Steph the other. I have my arm around his back and I didn’t know what to do with my hand, so I shoved it up under his arm. Lol. So I’m… in Jensen’s pits. And … I took a deep breath. (did not like his smell. Don’t hate me. It did not agree with my nose. lol) Anyway… then I said thanks and walked out. NOW- STEPH Says That I also said “I WANT TO SQUISH YOU!” But I clearly blacked out, because I do not remember that. Anyway, next thing I know, we are standing outside (edited for adult content) and I am full on panic attack. My entire body is shaking. My stomach is quaking, I can’t breath. I’m just clinging to the balcony bricks like “HOLY FUCKING SHIT” and I takes me about thirty mins to calm down. I go back to the room and kick April out and I just cried. Like, full on, sobbing tears. Then, dried off, took a shot of whiskey and moved on with my life.

I met Jensen twice more that day, but I’ll save those for later.

JARED PADALECKI: I was not nervous. I was not emotional. I got online, and I was fine. I saw his shoes first. And then as we got closer, his legs, then his hands, and then finally his face. I started to get a little choked up, but the girl behind me was full on crying, so I turned and said to her “You listen to me, Jared is a ray of sunshine and he’s about to make everything ok” And she calmed down. I think telling her to stop crying actually kept me from crying. OK. So…

The song playing when we walked in was Bad Company “Shooting Star” And I was air guitaring to keep my hands from shaking. Then it changed to Tiffany “I think we’re alone now”, and Jared did the BOOTY DANCE!!! And I died a little.

Then he gets a phone call. He says “i’m so sorry, it’s the wifey” So he steps back a bit and answers, then he’s talking to his kids and his face is just… he’s so smiley and happy and peaceful. He kept coming back to the line like “i’m so sorry, just a sec” and we were all like “do what you gotta do dude” I could watch him talk on the phone forever.

Then… right next to me Rachel shows up from the back door to say hi. And he drops to his knees and is talking to her, and he’s so focused and loving and they chat and I’m just like “Is this man for real?” He is.

He comes back to line finally and walks towards the giant light and says “I’m Burning up!” And lifts his shirt to fan himself and there it is: Padabelly. I saw his light brown leather belt and a tiny tiny line of his Saxx and I … yeah. Anyway…

So I get up to him and he turns to me and smiles so beautifully and I said “Hi!” And he says “How are ya?” And I said “I’m aldhflUKeglKShg”. A weird squeak comes out and I just lunge at him and bury my face in his chest. So he kinda shrugs and we take a hug picture.

I walked away… I swear to god I have never felt so happy in my whole life. It was like my body was floating on a cloud. My heart was full of cotton candy and unicorns. Jared was so genuine, and enjoying being there and so so happy. And if Jared Padalecki is happy, there is nothing wrong in the world.

We made it back to the hotel room and I burst out singing and dancing “I’ve got everything that I need, right in front of me” And I think I scared April, but it was appropriate. I was so so happy.

More on Jared coming up.

J2 Panel was awesomesauce. I’m sure you’ve all watched it.

J2 Photo Op: I was cool as a fucking cucumber. I walked up to them like “sup, bitches?”. Lol

Jared was closest. He turns and smiles and says “hi!” And I go “Hi again!” And I go over to Jensen and I said, “Could I do the selfie pose, please?” And he seemed kinda annoyed, maybe because I was all smiley with Jared and not him, but whatever. So he signals to Chris and they set up. I pull Jared’s sleeve and he leans his ear down to me and I said, “I got your Bedazzeled reference right away. I was the person laughing.” And he went “Nice!” And laughed that ‘tossing head back’ laugh and I died a little more. I MADE JARED LAUGH!. OK… so we take the picture and then I thank them and I’m out. I LOVE THIS PICTURE SO MUCH! And I got Jensen smoulder!! Yesssss.

OK, so… lots of panels, lots of stuff. Awesome time.

But the end of the evening Sunday, I was totally exhausted and we hadn’t eaten like, all weekend. So I’m delirious. Apparently… tired + hungry = Beka goes Nuts. And in that insanity, I apparently decided that I hate Jensen. He took the brunt of all of my exhaustion. Irrational anger flowed towards that man well into the midnight hour. Just “God, I wanna… grrrrrr…. Fuckin’ Ackles!!” No reason, no explanation, just irrational annoyance with that poor poor man. LOL.

JARED AUTO: In line, there’s like three people crying hysterically and telling him their sob stories and I’m like “OH For Fuck’s Sake” So I turned to Bronwyn and I’m like “I gotta make him laugh” Because I’m just like that. I gotta lighten the mood. So I go up and show him the box. I opened it up and he looks and smiles “oh cool!”. I’m like “could you please sign on Sam’s side?” And there was a little confusion, because the box is the front of Impala, so it’s kind of backwards. So he’s like “here?” and i’m like “no, here” so I reached around it and pointed and he put his hand over mine and was like “Ok, cool” And JARED TOUCHED MY HAND!!

So he signs and I said “Thank you so much for Sam and for all you do.” And he smiled and looked me in the eyes and I go, “I just love you!” And… kissie faced him. As in, I smushed up my lips and blew him three quick kisses. He laughs and smiles and I quickly move away. APPARENTLY as I’m not looking, he kissie faces me back and goes “Love ya!” Of course I missed that. Stupid Beka. lol.

JENSEN AUTO: As I mentioned, I hate him by now. Just… “Goddamn it Jensen” for no reason.

So we get up to him and I hand him the box and I said “Good Evening, sir.” And he says “Hi.” he signs and I go “Thank you.” And walk away. Because… I have nothing to say to him. Lol. Poor Jensen. I kinda want to send him an email like “sorry I hated you for 6 hours for no reason” lol. I can’t even believe myself. I couldn’t look him in the face because he’s so beautiful but damn it, if I didn’t wanna pop him in the nose. Future Reference: EAT AT CON you stupid Beka. EAT. lol

So… That’s that. I will say, now that I’ve eaten and rested a bit, I no longer hate Mr. Ackles. Which is good.

I’m sure I forgot loads of stuff, but that’s what I need to get out right now.

In summary: Jared is exactly what you think he is. He’s light and love and hope and beauty and I will never not be totally in love with him.

And Jensen is Tired!Beka’s arch enemy. Who knew?

;)

#njcon 2017 #frenchy and dreamer do njcon #my con trip

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gideonbdbrw-blog · 7 years

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#SassyPants with @Ezekiel_BDBRW

Ezekiel:

[I was free. It was like a miracle. I breathed in the air deeply and spread my arms wide, spinning a circle. First order of business, get a shower and out of this damn stinky tux. Definitely not getting any return value on this one. Not that I would anyway, I stole the thing after all. Second order of business, explain all this mess to mahmen. The look she gave me when they carted me away was going to haunt me for a very long time. I needed that gone. I needed her to believe in me again. Somehow I would make it right. The flash drive was now no longer my problem. It was now in the hands of ‘HelloKitty’. I laughed again at that user name. Hopefully that guy got something out of it. Had only caused me trouble. Oddly, I would still probably do it again. It was just how I was wired.

I got to my shitty basement apartment only to see a big fat eviction notice on the door. Not like I was going to stay here anyway, this place was compromised now. It did set off big old warning bells though. Mom would never have left that hanging where everyone could see the shame of it.] Mom!! [I called out as I pushed the door open. There was a pile of mail in the way and I had to push a little harder than normal.] MAHMEN! [I was starting to get frantic now. Where was she? It’s not like we had a list of relatives that would take us in. In fact, I couldn’t even think of one. Where was she?! I ripped through the apartment, opening every door, but I knew that she wasn’t here. Hadn’t been in a long time.] FUCK!!! [I screamed at the top of my lungs, ready to rip my own hair out. She’d given up on me altogether. That was the only answer. That or… NO! I would not think that she had finally gone into the Fade to be with her hellren. There was one other answer and I was really not jazzed about it.] That FUCKING lawyer!

[It was easy enough to find where his offices were. High priced glymera types wanted you to know where they were so you could come kiss their feet. I’d taken the quickest shower imaginable (which was really too bad because I was dying to enjoy it) and changed into something more my speed. Jeans and a t-shirt. The wardrobe choice was going over really well with receptionist. No, I didn’t have an appointment. And no, I didn’t care to make one. I pushed right on past and barrelled through the door.] Where the FUCK is my mother!?!!

Gideon

-Tonight was like any other night. My doggen had my appointments set out before me. I read over the court dockets and then the recently released. I couldn’t help it, a huge smile took over the features of my face. “Well, I’ll be damned. Bertha let him live after all.” I thought of his Mahmen, I had her in a safe place, no need for her to suffer for her fucked up sons sins. He needs to be taught a lesson, but in the meantime, she needed to be safe. I would not have anyone suffer for the sins of others the way my Mahmen has. My first appointment came and went right on schedule. It was a simple investment of family money. I still needed to fix the little problem of the blood slave situation. Fucking Glymera, some of them think they are above the law. I raked my fingers through my hair as I thought about my lost flash drive. I needed that to secure my family's safety and old sticky fingers had to go and pick my pocket. I should so frame him for the fucked up case I was preparing now, but dammit to hell, his mother's eyes ripped right through my heart. I couldn’t do that to her. I sipped on my coffee when my door was flung open with a loud slam against the wall. Almost right on cue, it was the ‘Finger Finesser’, Ez Ezekiel. I looked up with a stoic face and mustered up an unapologetic look. “It isn’t my normal business to babysit women of certain age. Perhaps she wised up and kicked you to the curb?” I looked down at the paperwork on my desk. Not reading it, nor interested in it now, but he didn’t know that. I just continued like I didn’t have a care in the on this earth.-

Ezekiel:

[The corner of my eye did the nervous tick thing that it did when I was seeing nothing but red. This fucker was toying with me just like he was the night when he showed up at the apartment. Like I was so far below him that nothing I did really mattered.] You know what? I'm glad I took that drive off of you. And I hope to hell that it stirs up a mess that makes Bertha look like a trip to Disneyland. [I sat my ass down in one of his chairs and kicked my feet up on his desk, getting good and comfy. I had no intention of walking out of here without knowing where my mom was.] You don't know a thing about my mahmen. She would never 'kick me to the curb'. She might be disappointed in me, she might scold me and make me feel like the size of an ant for the rest of my days. But she would never just bail on me. [I stared at him, daring him to contradict me.] I know you know where she is and I'm not leaving until you tell me. Let's see how the rest of your clients feel about some dirty scrub sitting in on your private convos.

Gideon:

-I didn’t give two fucks over his empty threats. I looked over the rim of my glasses at his 1977 shoes he probably fingered from the GoodWill noticing his slight eye twitch. I was a lawyer, we read people like yesterday's newspaper. Little did he know that I had charmed the socks off his Mahmen, it was one of my specialties. But if I was being honest, I didn’t want to see her harmed for the dumbass things her son was doing. No Mahmen should ever suffer for the sins of their family. I knew that first hand. My own was held somewhere because of the sins of my rat bastard father. I also had to do the dirty work of the Glymera for it. I had to get that fucking flash drive back to save my own mother. I didn’t bother to look up as I spoke to him. I was hoping that would piss him off even more. “If you’d like to see an honest night of work, by all means, stay. I’m sure you've never witnessed it yourself.” I now locked eyes with him and spoke these words. “I know more of your mother than you’ll ever know. YOU, will not see her until my drive has been safely returned to me. Don’t make her pay for your sins.” I thought it was a simple request and easily done. I would then take him to his mother, but not until then. It was the only way to ensure my own mother's survival. “Now if you need a job I can help you with that, I need a good house bitch and….” Looking him up and down. “You’d look nice as a French whore.” I chuckled and went back to my paperwork hoping he was mad as hell.-

Ez:

You call this honest work?! [I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my chair. Tipping backwards, my arms windmilled to keep me from losing my balance. The front two legs came down with a loud crash that sent me laughing all over again.] Seriously? Have you ever even had to dirty your fingers? Ruin your perfect manicure? How bout get a little sweaty? Oh wait. I bet you do plenty of that between the sheets. Probably about it though. [I ran an appraising look over the lawyer. Yeah, okay, the male was hot. Problem was, he knew it. I shrugged it off like he wasn't all that and a bag of chips. His next statement had my lips twisting in a smirk.] For someone who doesn't [holding up quotey fingers] 'babysit women of a certain age', you suddenly know all about my mahmen. Now I'm not a lawyer or anything but to me it sounds like you are full of horseshit. [He knew exactly where she was. I was suddenly picturing him having tea with my mom with his pinky finger sticking out like the snob that he was. Now he just had one more thing to hold over me. Too bad I didn't have the thumb drive anymore. Maybe I could go buy one at the corner market and fill it full of nude pics of me. Yeah... that idea really appealed to me. I was probably grinning like the Cheshire cat right now but I had a sick sense of humor like that. My mom was safe. That's what I really took away from the whole thing. The rest was just going to be me fucking with him until he broke. I got up and leaned over the desk until I was almost nose to nose with him.] I do look really good in a French whore's costume. But you will never see it. [I pushed off the desk and turned my back to him. My gaze roamed the room instead, taking in all of the electrical outlets, switches, lights, computers, all of it that linked into my 'honest' job. And he thought I didn't have one. Asshole. My lips twitched as a plan took form in my head.] I'll be right outside if you need me. [On my way out I picked up a cup that held some pencils in it. I upturned it, letting the pencils fall all over the place, and kept the cup. I reached into my pocket and dropped two coins into the cup, shaking it around. Perfect for panhandling. Laughing loudly as I left the office.]

Gideon:

-I continued to work as the thief threw his little tantrum. I ignored all his animated actions. He knew nothing about me and proceeded to grasp at straws to justify why he was at the bottom of the food chain. I worked hard to get where I was at to keep my Mahmen safe, and this little display of actions led me to believe he no longer had what I was in need of, I did not just begin my practice yesterday. I could read people like last nights news. I do admit; he looks devilishly handsome and sexy as fuck. I could imagine him under the weight of my body screaming out my name in pleasure. It’s too bad that will never happen. He just wants the get rich fast job, and he’d steal I believe from his own family if he hasn’t already to get to the Klout he desired. I raised my head as he walked out the door of my office. Motioning to my doggen to follow him out. “If he pockets one more thing have him restrained, he might need another stretch in the hole; I’m sure Bertha would love to have him back.” I waited until all was quiet and I rang the doggen who was taking care of his Mahmen, I wanted to make sure she had all she needed. I knew she desired to see her son, and I was ready to reunite them until his last outburst. Now, now he needed to be taught a lesson.-

Ezekiel:

[The lawyer wasn't so quiet that I couldn't hear his instruction to the doggen as I walked out. My skin crawled at the mere mention of Bertha but I wasn't going to let it show. That fancy fuck could do with his own re-education, Bertha style. Laughing about it was one thing, living it another. It was fine. I had other plans. Things started taking root in my twisted head as I left. I noted everything and stored it away for future use, even poking my head into some rooms just to see what was in there. My real goal was to find the electrical room, which was no small task with a doggen following you out the door. In a building like this it wouldn't be easy to access and likely in a basement level. I spotted a possible way to get to it and left it at that, shrugging on my way out the front. As soon as I was drawing fresh air I plopped myself down on the sidewalk and held my cup out to every passerby that I found. I ran my fingers through my hair, making it properly messy and adopted a properly downtrodden expression. Any time someone, especially a vampire, went to open the front door I made sure to throw out ample warning about the dangers of what they were to face inside. Yelling and screaming like a crazy person about the lawyer that will take all your money and send you to prison in the same breath.]

GMan:

-My Doggen had eyes on the panhandler outside. Every outburst that shit spewed out was relayed back to me, word for word. I have had enough of his shenanigans. Grabbing my cell I sent out a text to the ones who worked that raid in his home in front of his mother. ‘The target is out front, approach without being seen and take him down. Bertha wants his cellmate back.’ I tossed my phone to the side, and a smirk took over the features of my face. I scrubbed my hand down my face and stroked my face. This was going to be fun. Of course, he wouldn’t end up with Bertha, but he wouldn’t know that. His only hope was to run. Fast.-

#BDBRW

#BerthaMissesEZ #HeLikesFemalesOfACertainAge

#PutYourSassyPantsBackOn

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jokers-sweethearts · 7 years

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Jared Leto Daughter Imagine: Mr. J

Request: @isab-ella Hello 💋 I know you wrote a headcanon about this, but may I request a full imagine of Jared's daughter watching him film a scene from 'Suicide Squad'? (ya know...if he had one) I cannot decide between the club scene or electroshock therapy scene so you can pick either. If not it is totally fine - thank you!

/////

You sat down quietly watching your father put the gold chains over his head, holding his rings in your hands. The costume department that was handling the Jokers wardrobe was used to the routine. You’d come with with a cup of coffee, say hi, and they’d hand you all the accessories. You handed them to your dad one by one watching as he turned fully into Mr. J. He stood staring at himself in the mirror for some time, also usual, and you held up the skull rings to him. His red lips spread across his face and metal teeth they put on him reflected back at you.

“Thank you baby” he said taking the gold piece from your hand. He slipped it on and before you knew it, the dad the world knew as Jared was now the Joker. “So how do I look beautiful?” The Joker voice was out now.

“Over the top” you teased him taking a sip of your coffee.

“Perfect then huh?” he spread his arms out before placing them on your shoulders and giving you an air kiss, careful not to get lipstick on your head.

He leaned in close to your ear to whisper, “Ready to head on set? Sure you want to?” he asked in his normal voice to make sure everything was okay.

“Dad please I’m fine! You can stay in character” you appreciated that he did it, still you didn’t want to feel out of place on set. The way he acted with everyone else you wanted the same from him.

“Hey hey I’m just making sure” you heard his normal voice fading into the low growl that was the Joker for the remaining words “I’m still your dad” he extended his hand for you to take.

You smiled up at him and accepted and he lead you out of his trailer. One of the regular crew members was there with a black cloak for him to wear keeping the costume a secret. He greeted them with all the maniacal energy of his character. You stayed close behind him to keep out of the way of everyone working and followed him as he whispered his lines to himself with the occasional laugh.

When you reached the club you had to stop yourself from gasping. They rented out the entire place in just to film, walking in was like walking into a dream. Lavish costumes and gold everything covered the place. When your father was finally free to take off the cloak you noticed everyone staring. How could they not, seeing the Joker again was surreal for everyone involved. Your dad wasn’t that tall but when he was all done up, his presence and body seemed to tower over all.

“Baby I need to talk to Mr. Ayer, but follow the producer he’ll take you to my seat” your dad leaned down one last time to talk to you privately before heading off for final preparations.

You smiled at the man holding his ear piece close listening to whoever and he pointed in the direction for you to walk. You were led to a booth that was decked out in beads and champagne and customized lamps, everything in character just like your dad.

“Your dads seat is right over to the left, it’s good to see you again Miss J” the producer winked before heading off.

You smiled back and headed to your spot, the chair read “Joker” on it. Once settled you couldn’t help but smile a little embarrassed and conceited too. Miss J you thought to yourself and laughed. The nickname the crew gave to you to compliment your fathers on set persona. It all felt a little ridiculous when the day started, but as soon as the filming began that all washed away. It was the Joker you’d be looking at.

The lights dimmed around you as the booth and background of the club was lit further. Constant smiles, waves, and quiet hello’s filled around you as everyone greeted. Finally Mr. Ayer emerged and you were relieved things were getting started. He came right up and gave you the usual good morning hug.

“I think you’ll like this scene, the costumes for this are some of my personal favorites. Bur try not to be scared of your dad okay?” he joked and you laughed scanning the crowd.

The green hair emerging was hard to miss, he took his seat in the middle of all the gold and steadied himself. You were used to reading him now, he was in the middle of shutting out the world and turning his eyes into that of the monster of the character. He stood his cane up and rested his hands on it paying special attention to where his bracelets fell.

“All right everyone let’s go!” Ayer called out and the set was soon silent besides the rustling of the costumes. “Background!” he called and the music picked up off in the distance while the extras began to dance. “Mr. J and Frost, 3...2...”

And right on schedule, as he always was, your dad snapped his head in your direction and winked at you, before snapping back too quick for anyone else besides you to notice.

“1.....Action!”

You couldn’t deny how magnetic the world and his job was, even you had trouble separating the fact that you were watching your dad. The man you grew up with disappeared in the character. His movements and voice were just as different as the green hair from his usual brunette.

Part of you wished the entire world could be sitting next to you to see him work, so everyone would understand how dedicated and honest he was. But another part of you never wanted the world to see it, the little wink he gave you meant so much and the Joker was so much apart of him. You wanted it to be your thing together sometimes. On sets like this it was easy to forget this movie was going to be apart of a universe much bigger than you both.

The Jokers cackle unleashed from his the bottom of his lungs and echoed throughout the set. Goosebumps rose on your skin and you clutched the empty coffee cup in your hand. It was almost scary how far away he was from himself. You looked over at Ayer, holding the camera steady but his jaw was dropped. You smiled, always happy to see the boss like what your father was producing. Some moments you felt like a proud manager more than a daughter.

Your father held up his hand to his mouth, the smile makeup you watched get put on covered his face as he laughed. It’d be so easy to forget it was fake and believe that it was a real tattoo. But what you looked at more was his eyes. The big blue ones so filled with life that you were used to sat there before everyone filled with rage and pride and sadness. Filled with every emotion and empty at the same time. Looking into his eyes was the moment when you became totally clueless to your father, how did he manage to do that? No matter how much you pretended and helped with his method acting it was impossible to completely look at him without seeing a little bit of your dad. Though moments like this made you question whether he’d come back.

The look on your face must have been obvious because you didn’t even notice or flinch when Ayer yelled cut. Your dad stepped in front of you and took your face in his hands and raised it up.

“Okay?” he said, running his thumb along your cheekbone for comfort. You smiled and nodded. “Good!” he perked up and giggled like the Joker. Now I don’t mean to rush you princess but if you’re done being mesmerized by my greatness I need a costume change!” You swatted his hands away matching his laugh and jumped out of the seat.

You were thankful for the scene change when it came along so you could have time with “dad”. The two of you spent the most time with the makeup department so as they covered him in the white pain and did all his tattoos, everyone got to know the dynamic and played along. You could see the change in your dad, his eyes and shoulders eased as he stood getting done up. But today was a little different, he wouldn’t take his eyes off of you.

“Princess you sure you you’re okay?: he asked, his voice was cartoonish but low like the Joker you used to watch on tv as a little kid. He was so convincing you weren’t sure if you should answer as yourself or as if the Joker was asking his own daughter.

“I’m cool Mr. J” you answered with a little bit of both. He laughed and rolled his head back.

“You hear that ladies and gentlemen?” he said the the makeup artists “My little girl is cool enough to help the Joker out” he was met with some laughs and warm awww’s. “But does she mean it?”

You didn’t answer and just sat quietly scrolling through your phone, making sure to keep it down low so no one thought you were stealing a pic. When they finished they let you and him alone so he could work himself up again to perform.

“But. Does. She.” his voice grew more stern and he walked over to you, more like a saunter and pressed his hands down on the arm chairs next to you. “Mean. It.” he wasn’t asking a question. He was calling you on your bluff.

“I’m fine” you still denied what was inevitable.

“You’re fine what?” he took the chance and gave you a kiss on the forehead, a real one, before stepping away to grab a tissue and wipe the lipstick off. “Gotta say you’re fine dad” he leaned back in front of your face to make eye contact. “You can always call me that” in an instant his normal voice was back.

Jared lingered on his daughters eyes, looking for reassurance that she was really okay. In the back of his head he was always worried he was being too much for her or making her uncomfortable. He had to constantly check on her to see if she was okay watching him. He was aware he was a handful but he had to be to feel like he was getting the role right. He’d warned her maybe a hundred times over the years and all the movie sets that if she didn’t like it he’d snap out, and only for her.

“I’m fine dad. Really it’s just...” Jared felt his heart speeding up curious as to what she was going to say next. “It’s not bad but seeing you so into it is surreal. I thought Mr. Nobody took over but Mr. J has it beat” you tried to be as honest as possible and not worry him at the same time. It wasn’t much use, he was a worrier at heart.

“I was afraid of doing that to you” he replied standing up, still in his normal voice.

“No daddy I promise it’s not bad! I was really fascinated. I mean I just can’t help sometimes when...” you stopped hesitant to say the next part.

Jared cocked his head to the side and smirked, some of Jokers mannerisms still were around at all times. “When what?” he pressured you to continue.

You sighed and looked down at your feet thinking for a moment before you let it out, “when you get so into it I can’t help but think... will he come back out?” you looked up at your dad wide eyed.

Jared felt his heart sink a little bit and then tried to push the Joker down with it. “Baby” he began clutching the lipstick stained tissue in his hand “Oh baby baby baby....” he breathed out and pulled a spare chair from the makeup desk over and sat it next to you. he sat down and gently took his hand to brush the loose strands of hair behind your ear, careful again not to get body paint on you. “I know I go overboard and I’m so lucky that you understand that and deal with it. I don’t deserve it. But you need to understand you come first. Know what that means?”

You kept your eyes on him shaking your head no.

“It means I’ll always come back to you okay. Dad will always come back, I can’t help it I love you kid. It’s kind of irritating how much I love you” he smiled warmly hoping for the same in return.

You couldn’t help but smile back to him. As trivial as it may seem to everyone else and even yourself, you worried about him as much as he did you sometimes. You knew how much his work meant and never wanted to be a distraction, but just knowing he meant it all and hearing it again meant the world.

“Okay then?” he said.

“Okay dad”.

Jared smiled even wider before leaning in for another kiss, you pulled away this time though laughing.

“Lipstick!” you said “Besides I think Mr. J is going to be late”.

“Well well well....” he began and the Jokers voice was back “I think you’re right Miss J” he stood up and extended his hand again for you to take.

“Oh I’m not gonna kill ya” the Joker’s words slithered out in a menacing tone.

Only this time instead of goosebumps you got a chill going up your spine that excited you. The Joker in this scene was so different from the other it stunned you again how he managed it and especially just after the conversation you had. But you shook your head and just tried to focus. It was clear that your dad had it under control no matter what.

This scene was more evil, more dark than the last. He wasn’t the Joker in love yet he was the Joker hell bent on revenge and escape. If this scene had come before you would probably cry but now you couldn’t get the smile off your face.

The entire set behind you was silent, the only sound was of lips parting when their jaws dropped watching. Even though the entire set was filled it was as if your father and Margot were the only two people in the entire world. It went beyond filming, it was unfolding like real life. You were completely enthralled in it. Again you were lost in the magic of it all you didn’t even flinch when Ayer yelled cut and slowly people began shifting around to reset, unsure of what they just witnessed.

You looked up across the room and your father was standing off by himself. People were joking around you both and discussing mechanical equipment and pages were turning as assistants helped the actors. You just watched him alone though, in that moment not seeing the Joker. He was just dad.

“All right get back into place” Ayer called out and your father slowly stepped back on his mark. “And 3....2...”

Like nothing had ever been wrong, and thinking back on it it wasn’t you just didn’t see it, your dad looked over and winked. He lingered for a little while longer this time taking the chance when he saw it.

“1.... Action!”

And he turned back into the Joker, knowing that you were happy right next to him.

#imagines #jared leto x reader #joker x reader #jared leto x oc #joker x daughter #jared leto x daughter #jared leto imagine #jared leto fic #leto!joker #joker leto #suicide squad imagine #joker imagine

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indigo-streaks-in-her-hair · 7 years

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500 Follower Ask Celebration :)

welp, here we are with 500 beautiful lovelies reading our fics. when we first started this blog, we never imagined such a wonderful response. everyone is the nicest & we both can’t express how grateful we are for every one of you.

thank you so much for sticking by us, even during our rough times. your support means the world to the both of us, & you all keep us going more than you think. you all inspire us every single day, & never fail to make us laugh.

you, yes all of you, are the best followers in the whole damn universe. you’re all irreplaceable & extremely dear to us. we love you guys so much. words can’t begin to describe how we feel.

and so, since we literally can’t come up with anything else to do on this momentous occasion, our original plan for 500 was to reblog a long ass ask list for you guys to send in numbers, but since that would all be complicated on the matter of the two of us answering, we decided to just answer all these 45 questions.

you’ll find the questions and our answers under the cut! enjoy!

um she’s really lovely and sympathetic and true and magnificent and her name is summer and the most annoying thing about her is that she’s not annoying at all. -v

pretty much the fact that vic is better than me at e v e r y t h i n g . she’s so much more caring and generous and beautiful and she’s always there for me whenever i’m having a bad day or if i’m just lonely or whenever i need someone to talk to. she’s also super polite and hilarious as hell. -s

2 • least favorite tv shows?

oops sorry if i offend some people but i really don’t like vampire diaries, thirteen reasons why, gossip girl, or the uk version of the office. -v

i don’t, like,,,,, watch tv much so all honesty, i can’t really have an answer for this? sorry?? -s

3 • favorite moment with your best friend ( s ) ?

oh omg i was texting summer a few weeks ago discussing and finalizing which fic requests we were each going to be taking and we had that one request asking for a connor imagine in which him and the reader take zoe to get her wisdom teeth out so i said something around the lines of “i can take connor and the wisdom teeth” and i literally froze before following that up with “omg that could be a name for a band”. summer freaks out and we’re both laughing hysterically over text and we stop everything and just spit out crappy band names that include connor and various body parts like “connor and the tonsils” and “connor and the funny bone” and even “connor and the fractured pelvis” and we’re absolutely dying because we can’t stop cackling at this stupid thing i brought up which made me laugh out loud a hundred times and i ended up scaring my own grandmother when she saw me giggling crazily with my phone. she ended up cutting me a slice of pie because she thought there was actually something wrong and the pie might help me calm down. so if the person who requested “connor and the wisdom teeth” is reading this right now i just wanna say thank you for requesting and your idea is amazing and your fic will forever be iconic ily. -v

oh my god, i was literally going to say the exact same thing vic did, but i guess i can choose a different memory. one time vic posted a pic of a turtle on her sc story and i was like “girl omg” and she remembered that time she played the character Turtle in her school’s production of The Westing Game play and then we started reminiscing on our old nerdy memories like when a projected video didn’t work for her and she had to just say all the audio backstage, or the time after my school’s cheap ass production of the Wizard of Oz during curtain call i tried to quickly change from my farmhand costume to my tin man costume and i forgot to put my shoes on and i slipped and fell on my ass during curtain call (i also forgot to bow but unimPORTANT) and it was just so sweet and cute but honestly every moment with vic is the bEST. -s

4 • what’s one quality you would like to have?

hm i’ve always wanted lighter eyes, mine are this boring brown color. whenever i’m in sunlight, they become shot through with these bits of gold and amber and it’s super pretty and that’s the only time they really lighten up. it would be really nice if they were like that all the time. -v

my big nose and thin hair have been the #1 qualities i’m most self conscious of, so i would really like to either have a smaller nose, or thicker hair. my face is already super oily as is, but my nose is the worst part, and i’ve always hated how my nostrils are almost as big has my eyes. as for the thin hair, you always have to be cautious about what you do with it, because there’s so little of it. like, i’m hella prone to sweating, which sucks, so if i sweat too much, my hair can easily build up enough grease to look like i just got out of the shower in a matter of minutes. or if i sleep on it the “wrong way”, and portions of are crinkled awkwardly or sticking out, then that’s how it’s going to look the entire day. and i can’t do any cute hairstyles with it because it all will fall out. -s

5 • name three people of the same sex you would kiss, marry, or fuck.

kiss rachelle ann go, marry pippa soo, and fuck laura dreyfuss oops. -v

kiss pippa soo, marry eva noblezada, and as for the other one,,,, i’ll get back to you on that.. -s

6 • do you like your full name?

hell no it sounds so boring and standard. -v

hahahahahah, no way. -s

7 • tell me your most embarrassing memory.

erhm so many? how do i choose? i’ve tripped in front of crushes hundreds of times, i spelled a word wrong in a spelling bee that i really did know how to spell but my anxiety acted up and i panicked so badly, i ran into a sliding glass door literally yesterday, when i was little i sang in a public bathroom and everyone heard, i also fell out of a tree? does that make me evan hansen? -v

oh n o. there’s too much there, i swear. um, i got so nervous when someone asked me what my name was, i told them i was “helen”, but i think that was because i accidentally said “hell” too loud and tried to cover it up. i’ve tripped so many times on a flat ground. once i was crying in a public bathroom and a kid started banging on the door and told his mom that no one was in there, so before they got the staff to open the door, i panicked and hid my face in my sleeve as i ran out of there. omg there was also one time, a long ass time ago, someone asked me who my favorite member of one direction was and i didn’t know who they were because in my house we don’t listen to (at the time) contemporary music. not to mention anything in english?? but anyways, i’d heard of them but nothing about them, so me, trying desperately to fit in said “i like all four of them”. and they told me “there’s five”. there was also a time i was invited to this girl’s retreat thing in her youth group when we took a field trip to this pumpkin patch and they had this corn maze and we tried to go through it, but i got lost and nobody was around me and for some reason i thought everyone just left so i was terrified and crying and just started running straight through the corn. but then one of the other kids saw me and called me out to everyone and i was too embarrassed and anxious to say “i got lost”. there’s probably so many more memories and probably worse ones too, but in short, my life is a huge embarrassment. -s

8 • favorite color to wear?

pastel baby blue is my number one. i have this off shoulder blouse that’s this pretty sky blue color and white and i think it’s my favorite item of clothing. -v

i can’t make a lot of colors look good on me so usually i turn to black, gray, or any dark shade. -s

9 • favorite restaurant?

there’s a vietnamese place called “saigon diamond” in my city and it’s absolutely wonderful and i would go there every single day if i could. -v

i love this little place, it’s called “cafe vie” where they have boba tea, spring rolls, phở, all sorts of vietnamese food and it’s just so quaint and the food is the best there, honestly. i’m so hungry now. -s

10 • what would be a good first date for you?

take me to a broadway show and then dinner and i will be the happiest girl in the world. -v

vic pretty much took it away at “broadway show” for me. and dinner is hella important, food is so good. i don’t have high standards, but if you really want to make an impression on me, then i’m literally the biggest sucker for romantic gestures. -s

11 • are you a good wrestler?

thumb, yes. arm, no. full body contact, idk about that but i do know karate so i will fight you. -v

lmao, no. -s

12 • are you allergic to something?

up until the time i was five or something i was allergic to grass and i had to wear pants whenever i went outside and it was honestly horrible because i couldn’t play tag or run around like other kids my age. -v

i honestly don’t know but most bug bites i get can get hella blisters and really gross even if i don’t touch them. -s

13 • would you be a good singer?

i’ve been singing pretty much my entire life but it was only this year that i started gaining confidence with my voice so i guess i consider myself a good singer? i’m not completely there yet, though. -v

i really hope so. i’ve been a big choir nerd since i was 7 or 8 and i’m really passionate about singing, but that really has nothing to do with skill, i guess? i don’t really like the sound of my voice, but i’m pretty decent at harmonizing. -s

14 • who’s the last person you said “ i love you ” to?

summer aka the shining light in this dark world. -v

victoire aka the actual light of my life?? love you, vic -s

15 • what car would you buy if you had enough money?

um a porsche obviously because that shit is prime. -v

literally any car that doesn’t break down. as long as it can transport me from point a to point b without any troubles, then i am set. -s

16 • favorite cover of a song?

currently it’s that cover of ben platt singing “ stay ” that’s floating around tumblr rn and i think i had an eargasm when i listened to it the first time i was so shook. -v

i can’t pickk a favv omg. everyone is so frickin talented it makes me actually want to curl up and yell. -s

17 • what was your last conversation about?

coincidentally it was summer telling me we hit 500 and me proceeding to flip out. -v

hah, i don’t remember who it was with but i went around telling a couple people that my dad took my phone and i can only contact them from my crappy chromebook. -s

18 • where were you born?

good ol’ michigan in the usa where i still live today. come visit us because we have chocolate fudge, cereal, and eminem if you like that kind of shit. we also have lots of lakes and pretty places and we’re so cool we’re shaped like a fucking mitten. -v

kansas, where i also still live today. maybe i don’t get out much, but it’s kinda boring here,, -s

19 • least favorite app?

there’s this app on my uncle’s phone called “ chicken scream ” where this chicken has to jump onto platforms but to do that you have to scream and the octave of your voice determines how high the chicken jumps. seriously fucked up and i hate it but it’s hilarious watching people play it. -v

anything that can’t entertain me for more than two minutes. i have such a short attention span -s

20 • tell me two facts about the country of your birth.

um we have the largest air force in the world and we sell enough pizza every day to cover one hundred whole acres and no i am not lying i read this in a book ok bye. -v

uhhh… its abbreviation, “USA” stands for the United States of America, and it’s made up of 50 states. -s

21 • do you like wearing sunglasses?

actually i hate wearing sunglasses because they get tangled in my hair but if a pair looks good with my outfit then i will wear them for the sake of fashion. -v

i don’t wear sunglasses really at all, so i guess i can’t really have an opinion on them? -s

22 • when’s a good moment for a first kiss?

goodbye kisses are the best, do not tell me otherwise. walk me home and then kiss me goodbye at the door and i will be thinking about you all the damn time and i’ll can’t wait to see you. -v

i think for a first kiss it should be a very important thing, so whoever you have it with should be really close to you, and someone you know that even if things don’t work out, you can always look back on it as a positive memory. but what would i know? -s

23 • what are your nationalities?

i was born in america to immigrant parents who came from the philippines. along with the filipino blood, my great grandmother on my dad’s side was chinese, and my great grandparents on my mom’s side were spanish. -v

i was also born in america to immigrant parents, but they were from vietnam. my great grandparents on my mom’s side were chinese. -s

24 • what would make you drop college / university?

ha are you kidding me if i ever dropped out of any sort of education my strict asian parents would probably disown me and mushu the dragon would appear out of nowhere and give me that whole “ dishonor ” speech. -v

^damn vic, i couldn’t have said it any better. -s

25 • a crossover between two shows ( any shows ) you would like to see?

idk about any of you but a crossover between riverdale and doctor who sounds hella awesome. i’d definitely watch that. -v

frick;; i don’t watCH TV at like,,, all?? -s

26 • long or short hair?

on me? honestly i prefer to have long hair but i’ll go shoulder length if i’m really feeling brave or something. when i was little i had super short hair with bangs so i was basically an asian dora the explorer. -v

short hair, for sure. i used to have hair down to my waist when i was younger and that was probably the grossest thing about me because it was so disproportionate to my head/face and made me look like if E.T. had two long strands of black yarn on its head. but even before that ofc i had a bowl cut. what asian kid doesn’t have a bowl cut, honetsly. although, over the summer i don’t cut my hair so i can dye the ends, then have it cut when school starts. the farthest it goes down is barely past my shoulders. -s

27 • a character from a book / tv show that shouldn’t of died?

max lightwood from the mortal instruments book series was the purest bean, and he wasn’t even ten years old yet and that definitely broke my heart. as for tv characters, i sobbed for days on end when arthur from the bbc show merlin died. -v

um,,, crap idk. -s

28 • favorite movie scene?

pitch perfect two where ben platt’s character benji musters up the courage to kiss emily before the bellas go on. idk why but it’s so cute? maybe it’s just ben? -v

sidenote: vic, i love that scene. anyways, maybe that final scene in heathers where martha gets her one line. idk. -s

29 • do you ship more fictitional characters or real people?

fictional characters of course. who would i be without my otps? -v

definitely fictional characters. -s

30 • favorite country song?

i seriously despise country music. i just don’t like it. it’s bleh. i don’t really know half the artists or their songs so i can’t have a favorite. -v

frickin “your man” by josh turner. i’m seriously kidding. i don’t listen to country music efiouhadjhdsilvb -s

31 • favorite john green book?

it’s tied between “ paper towns “and ” looking for alaska “ because both are equally cryptic and beautiful at the same time and i love when books are like that. -v

heck, i really like “looking for alaska” -s

32 • least favorite ed sheeran song?

oh come on. i love ed. you can’t expect me to pick a least favorite. but when it comes to the song i skip over most of the time it has to be ” even my dad does sometimes “ from multiply ( x ). -v

uhhhhmmmm… hell if i know -s

33 • favorite ship?

malec from shadowhunters will always be my otp until the day i die. the ship is so diverse and has so much chemistry and if you read the books magnus and alec are so in love i can’t handle. -v

i don’t frickin knowwww. i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now. i’m so sorry if all of my answers are like this, i’m literally the most indecisive person in the actual world. -s

34 • how do you deal with sexual tension?

uM -v

uM -s

35 • name a celebrity who died that you miss.

our queen carrie fisher. i grew up with star wars always on my tv and when i heard of her passing i cried and rewatched ” the force awakens “ with blankets and two boxes of tissues. -v

there’s really too many to choose from, and thinking about all of the happy memories they’ve brought to me and everyone is just getting me so emotional. -s

36 • favorite harry potter spell?

i’m really fucking basic but ” lumos “ is the best. it’s so simple. it’s light. and idk why that resonates with me but i just think everyone needs a little light these days. -v

i literally said “lumos” too, but now i’m going to choose “riddikulus” because turning boggarts into something funny proves that anyone can find humor in their biggest fear. -s

37 • something you are scared of losing?

my family. there’s no way in hell i’d make it through life without my little brother or my grandparents who are there for me. -v

i’m terrified of losing the few friends i have. everyone i used to know didn’t have a single hesitation in forgetting me or even trying to lose contact with me. -s

38 • someone you regret meeting?

i could make you a list and tell you what each one did to make me regret even looking at them but i don’t wanna go out on a full on bitch rant about these people who ended up wasting my time. but i’ll just say i’ve met my share of shitty human beings. -v

too many. there have been too many people who’ve hurt me or betrayed me or have honestly made me feel like a horrible person, and i really wish i could forget every last one of them. little tip: it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known a person, it doesn’t excuse any sort of bullshit or betrayal they’ve done. -s

39 • have you ever been hurt by someone you thought was your friend?

yes and it’s caused a lot of emotional and mental issues. i’ve been backstabbed and used so many times and i just wish i could stop being stupid and blind for not seeing it in the first place. -v

god, yes. i wish it didn’t take me this long and this much damage to realize i shouldn’t have been throwing around my trust or my yearning to be accepted so lightly. getting hurt by the people you thought cared about you most is the most awful feeling, especially knowing that every single act of kindness and sympathy and love to them meant nothing. -s

40 • do you easily open up to people?

yes and no, actually. it ultimately depends on the person and whether i have a connection with them. -v

it’s really hard to open up to people in real life because i don’t know if they’re confidently lying to my face or will use my own words against me to people who also know me irl. but online it’s easy to open up to my friends there because i can find people who understand shit i go through and actually take the time to give a crap. -s

41 • what is a gift you love receiving?

hugs. i love hugs. gimme all the hugs you got, boo. -v

damn, v knows exactly what i’m going to say. i love hugs so frickin much, but honestly any sort of affection is all i need, like, smooches? yes?? compliments? absoLUTELY?? cuddles??? MARRY ME?!?! -s

42 • what is something you could leave easily?

erhm maybe my notebooks? i usually journal in them but not that often anymore. -v

probably hair clips. i really can’t do anything with them, and on me they’re really tacky. -s

43 • rant about what’s eating you up.

i’d really rather skip this one if anyone doesn’t mind, i’m sure i’d go on for a hundred paragraphs about my stressful life plus i’m sure it would annoy you. and my problems are the kind of personal ones i’m not comfortable putting out in public yet. -v

i really agree with vic here, i don’t want to be a huge bother to y’all and it’s really a touchy and personal subject here. -s

44 • if you could make a phone call to anyone right now, who would it be and what would you say?

i’d call ben platt, tell him how much i love him and how much i love the show and whole cast, all while screaming and shaking. -v

i was going to freaking say ben platt too, seriously. i wish i could thank him for how much his representation of evan and the build up of his character has made me find something to relate to and learn to appreciate myself more, even in the slightest. i’d also love to tell him that he shouldn’t have to feel apologetic for doing the things he does to take care of himself physically and mentally, and his fans should be more than supportive of him taking care of his well-being. i’d also ask him to tell the rest of the cast, creative, and standbys how much i seriously appreciate them, but honestly i’d be speechless if i knew he was on the other end of the line. -s

45 • are you easy to love?

aw yes. people say i’m lovable. i’m been compared to a teddy bear before. it’s happened, trust me. -v

i should hope so, but not very many people like to stick around me. i mean, i try to be someone worth loving and i’m more than happy to spill out all of my love to anyone who just asks politely <3. -s

#violate victoire #stalk summer

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docfuture · 7 years

Text

The Maker’s Ark - Chapter 33

[This is a chapter from my latest novel, a sequel to The Fall of Doc Future and Skybreaker’s Call. The start is here, and links to my other work here. It can be read on its own, but contains spoilers for those two books. I try to post new chapters about every two weeks, but I’m currently also rewriting Fall, so there will sometimes be short stories and vignettes if I don’t have a new chapter ready. The next chapter is planned for the week of February 7th.]

Previous: Chapter 32

So many false starts, so many dead ends--that might not be dead if Flicker could find the right way around. But she'd searched too much, built too many fanciful models, contingent on details of theory Ashil couldn't explain yet and Journeyman was still trying to learn. DASI was keeping all the data safe, but even the index was mindbending. Flicker couldn't think it over properly in her head, because it wouldn't fit in her head. And it didn't matter how fast she was if she didn't know where she needed to go. Flicker stared at the ceiling in the darkness. Donner slept beside her, his presence and steady breathing a calming influence--but not calming enough. She was fully awake, and had plenty to worry about. She wasn't getting back to sleep anytime soon. She got up carefully to avoid waking him. She put on her costume and texted DASI. DASI? I'm awake. Worried. Need a distraction. I want to work, but would be a bad idea to try. Don't want any slow speed socializing either. Help? You have received an invitation, DASI replied after a short pause. The high speed interfaces at either your home or Doc's Database node should be suitable for this, as long as you do not try to work or analyze data. They would? Flicker scanned the parameters. Sounds like just what I need. Just let me get to HQ for less lag. Acknowledged. Ghosting through the Rocky Mountains and western plains, she stayed below plasma generation speeds--unexpected ground level lightning bolts tended to dangerously distract drivers at night. She did startle a few deer. A few seconds later, Flicker hooked into the refined version of her high speed interface, and dropped into a full synthetic audiovisual environment, optimized for speed. A text overlay floated in front of her, because Flicker still preferred that for commands. You have entered virt chat 'Fast Women'. Host: DASI (Doc Future HQ) Estimated lag: DASI (9 ns), Three (2,450,000 ns, local emulation 850 ns), Black Swan (8,310,000 ns, local emulation 920 ns), Flicker (48 ns). It looked just like a multi-window video chat to Flicker, but it was all virtual. And faster, of course. Light and information could travel about a foot in a nanosecond, and she was sitting right beside one of DASI's main cores. DASI didn't have to worry about display or data entry delays, so her lag was about 40 ns less than Flicker's was. Three was in the closest EDU ship in orbit, and Black Swan was somewhere in Europe. There were colored progress bars, so Flicker could see who was lagged for which chat pulses--that made it easier to avoid cascading interruptions. Three seemed to be talking about the recent joint military tests conducted by the EDU and the Grs'thnk, while Black Swan and DASI listened. "The exercise went really well," Three was saying. "Really well. I don't think some of the Grs'thnk captains believed what I could do with the right support. Their admiral did, though. And man is Learning ever the right support. We kicked ass. Both of us are now hoping the Xelians try something, because they'd just be giving me more shiny new ships." "So you talked afterwards?" said Black Swan. "Yeah," said Three. "That too. It was technically a victory party, but his biogestalt crew gave us privacy--they're pretty cool that way. Hi, Flicker! Wanna hear about my new sweetie?" "Sure," said Flicker. All kinds of questions occurred to her. "Isn't there a small problem with--I mean, you don't... Um. Okay, I think I just set a new record for how quickly I can embarrass myself in a social situation--under half a microsecond." Three laughed. "Don't worry about it. I'm in too good a mood." Three had started as an adaptive prediction model of Stella inside the Database. Flicker used those extensively to help her figure out what people were doing or wanted when there wasn't time to ask. Dissatisfied with an 'insufficient data' during an emergency, Flicker had overridden several Database safety blocks, and DASI had added enough of Stella's recorded neural interface data to cause Three to grow into an active copy. She'd asked DASI a few pointed questions, then called Stella to get a full memory transfer. When Stella's body had been dead during the Xelian battle, and Yiskah was unconscious, Three had taken over the surviving ships of the Xelian fleet, which were now the EDU fleet. They were her preferred home--though she thought of them as more like bodies. She seemed quite happy as a fleet of ships; she was noticeably more cheerful than Stella. She was 'Three' because 'Two' was Yiskah. Three reintegrated and shared memories with Stella, and they coordinated when Stella was plugged in. "That's good," said Flicker. "Is he... nice? It is a he, right?" "Oh yeah," said Three, grinning. "Not shy, either. Wonderful sense of humor, and he started flirting as soon as I made a joke about it. Normally he's under a load of restrictions because of his job, but the big definition squabble during the first embassy ship visit settled that I count as a milspec biogestalt to their Auditors, so he's in the clear with me. And he..." Three shook her head. "We aren't really serious yet, but--" "Liar," said Black Swan. Three laughed. "All right, we are serious, but we haven't had a lot of time yet. But there's so much we can talk about, and when he holds me--Oh. My. God. It's... Flicker would know." "I would?" said Flicker, feeling more and more lost. Had species been mentioned? Did Grs'thnk have cyborgs? Or was he a biogestalt? That was the Grs'thnk term for electronic copies of biological minds, though theirs were usually groups. Was he singular or plural? Three was using a singular pronoun, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. "Yeah, you would." Three grinned again. "It's a little personal, but we're all friends here. Remember that memory you shared with Yiskah because you didn't have words for how you felt with Donner? It was before she and Prime stopped integrating, so I got a twice removed copy." "The kiss?" said Flicker. "Just before the kiss. That look Donner gave you after you saved his life? How that made you feel? That's how Learning makes me feel." "Oh. That." One advantage of high speed emotion emulation was that Flicker didn't have to worry about blushing. "Sounds... intense. But I'm really missing context here--I'm sorry, I know I joined in the middle, but--" "Show her the pic," said Black Swan. "Good idea," said Three. "Here he is--he was a little younger, on his shakedown cruise. Sorry, it will take a couple microseconds to render for you, it's a high quality pic. Isn't he handsome?" Flicker took a moment to properly study the picture after it finished sharpening. "He is pretty good looking," she said. "For a starship." Three laughed again. "He is. But you know what he said to say if you pulled 'for a starship' on me?" "What?" said Flicker. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--" "'You're pretty good at aiming projectiles,'" Three quoted, "'For a bio.'" "He's got a lot of nerve, saying that after what I did to the Xelian fleet with my rocks. I don't see-- Oh." "Yeah. That's his sense of humor. But don't worry about it. Think of it as getting all your embarrassment out of the way now, with just us around." "Um, okay. But which ship is he? You called him Learning, but--" "He's the electronic warfare cruiser for the Grs'thnk guard squadron." "I thought it was named 'Expanding Knowledge', or something like that." Three smiled gently. "That was just a rough translation. The Grs'thnk navy finally gave in and started letting the AIs on new ships pick the ship names, because everyone ends up calling them after their AI anyway. His is an idiomatic saying, and he translated it properly for me. Learning is his nickname. His full name is the GNS Learning Is About To Occur." "That is a cool name." Three grinned. "Appropriate, too. Generally when he is fully awake, either he is learning something new, or someone else is. Both of us are, when we're together. He's not the newest ship in the Grs'thnk fleet, or the most heavily armed, but he's probably the smartest, and Admiral Ghiralt really pushed to get him." "The bigger ships aren't as smart?" asked Flicker. "I'd think it would be cost effective to put the best computers on the dreadnoughts." "That's not the limiter for AI capability once you get over a certain threshold. And Learning says dreadnoughts don't necessarily have to be smart. Just tough and loyal. But he respects them. His first teacher was an ancient dreadnought that was taken off active duty, refitted with proper AI support, and is now the main training ship for the Grs'thnk navy--everyone calls her the Old Lady. He says she taught him moral responsibility and a lot of other things that are much quicker for an AI to learn from another one, rather than bios." "Huh. How much has he talked to DASI?" "Informally? Not at all--he's not allowed to. He can send messages, but his biogestalt crew, a worried AI specialist team, and three sets of Auditors have to vet them first. Same with her replies. They're scared of her--and they're especially scared of what Learning might learn from her. That's why the admiral had to fight so hard to get him assigned here." "The official messages from Learning Is About To Occur have been very respectful," said DASI. "Though they have a quirk; English doesn't have a term of address he considers proper for me, so he uses a Grs'thnk one. It's a formal second person collective plural social superior pronoun." "You lost me again," said Flicker. "Think 'Your Majesties' without the cultural baggage," said Three. "And isn't that a wonderful load of subtext with one word? He's great." "Why are they so scared? And why are they okay with you getting all cozy with him? You basically act as DASI's biogestalt, not that she needs one." DASI smiled and waited, and Three's image laughed after her lag time was up. "They're scared because they haven't solved the Friendly AI problem, they're not sure Doc has either, DASI is an unfettered AI, and they think she might teach Learning things they don't know how to handle. Like recursive self-improvement. Or magic. But biogestalts are their navy's safety system for AIs, and they can't argue I'm not competent as one. And their admiral never wants to fight another space battle without my help." "I never want to fight another space battle at all," said Flicker, "But it looks like I'm going to have to. Hopefully with something better than rocks." "Yeah, aside from the side effects if you use them anywhere with an atmosphere, they have an obvious countermeasure--stay away from whatever planet you're on. And Learning says Grs'thnk navy doctrine is to engage as far as possible from any planet they're trying to protect. He is a little curious about this new weapon you're building--and what you might possibly need it against." "Reasonable. Though I wish you didn't have to share any details until we know more. I didn't want--" "What details? You've got a cryptic warning and a whole stack of speculation, which I assume is why you couldn't sleep. But Learning figured out you're trying to make some kind of weird portal weapon or a black hole, just based on who you're working with and what you've done so far. And when you start your runs on Europa, they're going to be damned obvious. People will notice." Flicker thought about that. "Yeah. But I'm trying to stay as disengaged as possible from anything political or diplomatic." Three smiled. "DASI and I are handling the Grs'thnk. Easy enough, the ones here are all professionals. And most humans are a bit distracted--someone else is getting in their faces in a lot more comprehensible way." "Just doing my job," said Black Swan. "As is Prime," said Three. "But the squadron's job is to protect Earth against threats from space--like whatever is coming. If your rocks won't work on it, it's not clear how useful their weapons will be, either. But Learning's sensors and projectors will be handy regardless--some of his capabilities are pretty unreal. And he wants to help. So the two of us will be ready. If there is any support he can provide while you're testing, just let us know." "Thanks," said Flicker. "Good sensor coverage from a distance might be more useful than I'm comfortable with." ***** "Not in your workshop," said Doc. "Or my lab. Not on my planet. Not on anyone's planet." "You don't think it will work," said Journeyman, looking resigned. He also looked a little scruffier than usual. He was normally very dapper, but he'd called Flicker as soon as he'd double checked his projections, and she'd been eager to find out what Doc thought about what could be their first real breakthrough, so he'd skipped shaving. Doc looked scruffy, too--but that was normal for him. They were in his workshop, where he'd been working on a new shield generator based on his studies of the Xelian one. "I think it quite likely will work, eventually," said Doc. "At least in the sense that you'll get a portal to a subspace with that particular characteristic. But if it does, you'll want to test it. And that's where things gets tricky. DASI?" "Yes?" "Upper bound estimate for the chance a portal transit by an extended object returning from an otherwise unrestricted subspace with a variable speed of light will trigger mass-energy conversion in all nearby matter." "0.7%," said DASI, "Based largely on the uncertainty associated with the exact parameters of the final Grs'thnk Hyperspace Foundation probe event." Flicker frowned. "That was the one where the returning probe blew up?" "It didn't just blow up," said Doc. "It apparently converted at least 20% of the rest mass of the entire station they had housing their portal generator into energy. The rest probably went into exotic particles that didn't get detected. They were trying a tricky resonance with a questionable methodology, and all their sensors were destroyed, so no one is really sure what happened." Doc shook his head. "A 0.7% chance of ending the world is too high. So all the tests should be in deep space. It's not an emergency, and I'm getting too old for eschatological roulette." Journeyman nodded. "I thought you'd be more worried about false vacuum decay." "Our vacuum is stable. Otherwise I'd probably have ended the world when I was eighteen. I wasn't always so careful." "But I need to be there for the tests," said Flicker. "And if they're in deep space..." "Flicker, no one should be there for the first transit. Journeyman should set it up, then get the heck out, and the two of you can watch from a safe distance while robots do it. I'll help build the test rig." Journeyman inhaled through his teeth. "I'm not sure I know how to make the portal self-sustaining. So I'd need to stay." "I have to stay, too," said Flicker. "I don't think anything material but me is going to be able to survive transit to a subspace with the gradient we want." "Yes, and that's another problem," said Doc. "But if it's in deep space, Journeyman can attempt a portal connection and measure everything without opening it if he succeeds. Then disconnect, come home, and figure out how to make one that's stable without him. At least for long enough to perform the dangerous first tests." Journeyman looked unhappy. "A lot more can go wrong if I'm not there. But I can probably manage short term stability for tests." "That's the spirit." Doc turned to Flicker again. "Now, about whether this is wise... I can see why you might find a subspace with a lower speed of light useful. Making it variable, with the boundary matching ours, is a very clever idea. It might allow a non-catastrophic connection. Might. I assume you'd rely on your power and the Skystone to keep you alive inside?" "Yeah," said Flicker. "I sure haven't been able to come up with anything doable in our universe." Doc looked down at the floor. "It could work. But there are so many, many things that could go wrong. For one thing, you can't rely on probability manipulation working in a non-anthropic space, so the Skystone may not protect you. Have you considered what a steep speed of light gradient will do to your body chemistry?" Flicker snorted. "What chemistry? I'm going to be clamped down so hard that what electrons want will not be important. I'll probably be losing my microbiome, all my hair, and my outer layer of skin anyway, just from the side effects of getting all the mass down to neutronium. And I'm going to have to replace most of the flesh in my hands because of induced radioactivity from pressure transmutation--I can keep my nuclei in place, but I can't prevent extra neutrons from cuddling up if they really, really want to. And they will. Golden Valkyrie never said this would be easy. Or painless. Just possible." Doc nodded slowly, looking old. "I can't argue with that. There's never any guarantee things will be easy."

Next: Chapter 34

#FallofDocFuture #Maker's Ark

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