#they havent been able to dress themselves in a long time so theyre really trying hard to express themselves

[rainy-astrology]

thank u sm for replying to my ask about hongjoong, hope u are doing well!

do u think certain members are meant to be together? even tho a lot of ships on groups are obviously put on to draw in fans who might ship them do u think theres any genuine relationships between group members or do they see themselves as being coworkers? again i think woosan and seongjoong are quite interesting but idk if its real or not or if delulus just want it to be real.

do u also think kpop is deliberately aiming for younger generations with its constsnt flood of tiktok related junk that it puts out? altho i find myself being fond of a few members of every other group or maybe i like their songs idrc for the latest trendy tiktok things its just gimmick after gimmicks nd i think kpop is profitting so much off younger groups who are more willingly going to get hooked on such trends to promote their groups. theres barely groups my age to follow literally even gidle have been a let down, is that just the members self sabotaging? lately their songs quality seem to be going downhill to the point where if a group releases noise its not remotely interesting enough or i might listen a few times but i dont feel any sort of vibe from it. oh its another thing theyre doing for tiktok to get hooked on another dance yadayadayada do u have any similar thoughts on why so many songs are just badly done auto tuned as heck and generic lyrics that arent inspiring? kpop couldve had so much going for it just to be like ehhh heres more of the samey groups where all members look dress and sound similar.

idk no ones ever really asked me to date so im like ehh whatever to dating atm if i was supposed to be in relationship someone wouldve asked me by now but they havent so i will take that as a means of being single until the day i die or some shit. also maybe my looks or facial expressions just arent pretty or not expressive (i have that glare that the likes of lee know tends to have, might put someone off from approaching me) or im underskilled in a lot of aspects that some ppl may judge me for as being talentless or behind in life, hbu?

Ofc, no prob, I hope you are doing well yourself.

I think it's a mix of both. Some groups have genuine friendships with each other and some groups are simply coworkers. Both are fine. As long as they are mature about differences and treat each other with basic respect and decency (literally the bare minimum), then I don't see the issue at all. Being an idol is just a job after all. If they are able to form a genuine connection with a member or all of them, then that's great.

Do I think certain members are meant to be together? No. I don't think anyone is meant to be together tbh. The idea of fated partners and soulmates is cute, but I don't think exists. It works best in fiction. But I know some people's bonds and compatibilities are so strong that it can feel like they were fated and that's totally fine. It's sweet. Even my best friend and I joke about us being meant to be and being "married". And yes I do agree that some ships are definitely pushed more to the public to draw more attention. Some ships may be close, some ships may not be, and we'll never 100% know as we are not those people. If you want my own thoughts on WooSan and SeongJoong though, I do think they're actually close, just not in the way some delulus try to say lol. WooSan have a matching tattoo (it would be absolutely insane to have something permanent with a person you're not close to lmao) and SeongJoong have expressed deep care to each other several times. Even though astrology isn't everything, it's interesting how SeongJoong's synastry is so harmonious.

Yes most likely, I think kpop has often been targeted towards younger audiences. Especially now with so many young people debuting. The industry is saturated and very competitive, so maybe that's why a lot of songs lately are a bit generic and uninspiring. Its heavy use of TikTok I'm sure is just a way to promote and gain attention since it's one of the biggest social media platforms rn. I can't speak much for gidle as I don't follow them...I don't think it's self sabotage though, it just sounds like you are not vibing with their music anymore. Sounds like you are losing interest with kpop in general and that's ok.

Why do you want to wait for someone to ask you out? Why don't you pursue someone? Maybe it's you who has to make the move - don't wait for it. But only if you care that much lol. I don't think you have be very pretty and expressive to get a date, but looks can def play a part in attracting someone. You don't have to be the prettiest or the best in general really to get someone though.

I'm aro ace with no interest in pursuing romance, so it isn't a concern of mine at all. I also have the same deal of having an angry face unintentionally at times + also quite expressionless and I don't consider my looks to be traditionally pretty (not calling myself ugly, i do think i'm pretty, just not by society's standards), yet I've still had people crush on me somehow 😅 if it's possible for me then it's possible for you lmao.

#ask #anon #i saw this a minute or a 2 after waking up from a nap and it woke me tf up 🤣 #and by traditionally pretty i mean feminine and cute bc im afab #i dont think my looks are feminine enough. which is fine bc i've always liked androgyny and aspire to be androgynous as possible

[reelbigchip]

mlm wlw solidarity i think

#the suicide squad #the suicide squad spoilers #? #abner krill #polka dot man #cleo cazo #ratcatcher 2 #my art #dc #for me #this is a real conversation they had its canon. i saw it i was there #they havent been able to dress themselves in a long time so theyre really trying hard to express themselves #for abner

[oc-and-art-review-reblog]

name: wildheart specise: fire element draco-morphiad (explained below) pronouns: she/her

specise info: draco-morphiads are, basically, a specise of sexless magic cat furries. each one of them controls one of twelve elements (although two of them are special); fire (fire elements are also able to control one type of igneous rock, differing depending on the individual), water, earth, air, plant, plague, void (this void being concentrated everythingness and named for its pitch black color, there may only be one void element at a time and only two have ever been recorded), quantum strings (this has been proven to be possible, but never recorded), gemstone, metal, sound and light. draco-morphiads have a unique internal anatomy, their body cavity is filled entirely with liquid magic. this magic contains their consiousness and, when needed, forms organs to keep the draco-morphiad alive. draco-morphiads also have whats known as elemental bits, an extra part of their body made from their element or regular body part modified by it. draco eye color is also generally dictated by their element. just a draco-morphiad generation (they live tens of thousands of years) ago, they had an expansive interdimensional (this takes place in a multiverse) empire. but for reasons now lost to time, it fell. the specise took heavy casualties, although it was nowhere close to extinction. theyre rarer now, and... scattered, to say the least. their natural ability to create interdimensional portals doesnt help that. given that draco-morphiads are sexless, their native language's pronouns were dependant on element, but wildheart was raised by a sexed specise tens of thousands of years after the near extinction of the language (plus draco-morphiads were invented to explain her so i think she should get to keep her pronouns).

apperance: wildheart has brown fur, which turns abruptly black (like, theres a straight, non-gradiant divide between the back and brown) at the waist, so approximately half of her is black and half is brown . she has blood red eyes. fire element eyes are usually orange, but this is explained. she has a pair of half-crescent obsidian wings coming out of her shoulderblades, each one flanked by three floating obsidian triangles. embedded in her chest is a peice of obsidian shaped like a broken heart, and her claws are obsidian as well. she has a couple notches in each ear and a scar over her eye.

story: wildheart is born on a remote planet in a remote universe. save for her and her littermate, their parents and their older sibling squirreltail. soon after the two's birth, their parents die of reasons. unprepared to take care of them, squirreltail opens two portals to random inhabited parts of the multiverse and sends them through, hoping each will be picked up by someone responsible and more able than him.wildheart ends up being adopted by a family of goatlike skeleton monsters, where she stays for the first 13 years of her life (draco-mophiads age like humans up until about their 20th birthday). during this time she becomes incredibly close with her adopted brother, [edit with name later, i forgot it]. shortly after her 13th birthday, wildheart discovered her ability to make portals. with their parents permission, she and her brother went out to explore the multiverse a little.on their little jaunt, the two encountered a creature totally alien to them, and wildheart dared her brother to go poke it with a stick. unfortunately, the creature turned out to be a bear-esque superpreadator and ripped wildheart's brother to shreds while she watched.wildheart opened a portal to nowhere in particular, landing her at a market in the interdimensional void (my imagining of the multiverse is, like space, mostly empty. universes take the shape of enormous white orbs with the texture of frosted lightbulbs. their glow is soft, yet can be seen from light centuries away). scared to go back home, she wandered.and wildheart never stopped wandering. she quickly exanded her scope to universe hopping, trying her best to repress the memories and emotions from her brother's death.during the next eleven years, wildheart developed a routine. explore and universe hop, break gear, plunder something ancient for rare stuff, sell it at the interdimensional market, get new gear, repeat. in ancient tombs and temples, wildheart saw one thing over and over again. carvings of things that looked like her, had the same powers as her. naturally, she assumed she was the last.on the eve of her 24th birthday, wildheart was traveling through the market, looking for something special to get herself. wherever she went, the vendors all talked about one thing. the nearby combat arena had a new champion, a catlike (cats are p much a multiversal constant) calling herself reaper. knowing wildheart, many suggested she challenge her.wildheart was confident in her abilities, both physical and magical, so she decided that a championship would be the perfect gift to herself.

she actually proved a pretty even match for reaper, but in the end the champion won. though wildheart's energy seemed boundless, reapers patience and tactical skill were ultimately able to exhaust her.

after the fight, the two met by chance somewhere in/around the market. they got to talking, reaper asking what wildheart does for a living. finding the prospect of universe-hopping more interesting than beating the shit out of people, reaper asked to join wildheart.

reaper was a tall (for a draco) draco-morphiad with black fur, white patterns outlining the shape of her skeleton (or what it would be if draco-morphiads had those). she wore a grey hoodie. her wings, skeletal things composed entirely of ice, marked her as a water element, though her eyes seemed to contradict that (although wildheart didnt really know that). instead of the slightly desaturated off-teal you would expect from a water element, reapers eyes were pich black with pupils colored a deep, beautiful blue.

anyway, after a few weeks of traveling the multiverse together, the two encountered something strange. a universe with no glow, just a dull grey orb.

portaling inside (and quickly leaving), the two found that the universe was empty. it had experienced a heat death, something totally unnatural in this setting.

wildheart and reaper agreed that they had to find and kill whoever did this.

idk how, exactly, they found him, but that person turned out to be a being calling himself entropy, the incarnation of the void, the nothingness that came before the multiverse. while he was monolouging about a pair of beings called 'chaos' and 'order',  wildheart and reaper tried to jump entropy. entropy did not like this. he used some sort of attack that sent the pair into a strange voidspace.

sat in this voidspace was a pair of beings. a scribbled dragon, with eyes of wildheart's blood red, and a hyperrealistic marble statue of a woman with a buzzcut in a dress, with gemstone eyes of reapers deep, beautiful blue. the two were enormous, the tip of the dragons talon bigger than wildheart's entire body. they were playing chess on a table of equal proportions.

"you're back early." remarked the dragon "did something happen?"

after a bit of confusion, it became understood that wildheart and reaper had no idea who these people were or where they were.

the two giants explained that they were chaos (the scribbled dragon) and order, demiurges of the multiverse.

many googols (a number with a hundred zeroes) of googols of eons ago, there was nothing. out of that nothing arose chaos, pure unbridled creation. but without filter, chaos could not create or take any definite form. and so, it (chaos is they/it) sat as a sort of existance soup for not even they know how long. until, at some point, order arose from the void. order was filter, what chaos needed to truly create. she (order is she/it) could not create by itself either, each dependant on the other to do something they instinctually longed for. order's form was also much different from her current day form, either a ball of quantum strings or a colorless cube of indeterminate material (i havent decided). so, the two came together and created. one of the first things the two created was a pair of souls, one blood red and the other a deep, beautiful blue. each one carved their true name into the corresponding soul in the first language, marking them as the incarnations of chaos and order.t hey were to be sent out into the multiverse together every once in a while, when the multiverse needed saving or just spicing up. of course the current incarnations were wildheart, incarnation of chaos and reaper, incarnation of order. they had been sent out this time for the purpose of killing entropy, whose trail of destruction included countless universes. but for reasons i dont know yet but were probably a mistake on chaos and orders part, they couldnt do it by themselves. they needed two more of their kind (chaos was vague about what 'their kind' was because i want it to be revealed in the narrative later). idk if its the two specific dracos they meet later or just any.

theyre currently in the place behind existance, chaos and order's personal voidspace.

chaos also reveals when talking to order that wildheart and reaper are siblings, before promptly sending them back out into the multiverse. entropy has long moved on, assuming he killed the two siblings.

the story isnt too well planned from here but

after some freaking out/contemplating/whatever over the fact that theyre siblings, wildheart and reaper continue on.

eventually, they encounter Six Of Spades, child of the last draco-morphiad monarch. saen (six of spades uses saen/trah pronouns, the traditional draco neutral/no-element pronouns) is a no-element, a semi-rare mutant with, you guessed it, no element. six of spades percives this as a fault of some sort, and overcompensates for it by playing up the ‘last heir to the draco-morphiad throne’ thing. Technically, saens cousin would have inherited the throne, but saen has no cousins saens aware of. six of spades would actually make a good monarch, if not for saens general neurosis and feeling of being (mostly) superior to those around trah.

six of spades watched saens parent die in front of saen to poachers, who wanted monarch eris (six of spades's parent)'s teeth. the teeth are the only part of a draco-morphiads pure magic core that doesnt simply dissipate after death. theyre an extremely potent source of magic, thus why draco-morphiads were killed for them shortly after the fall of the empire.

apperance wise, six of spades is an average sized (about 4 feet tall) grey draco-morphiad. saen has medium-grey fur down to saens waist, where its abruptly replaced by light grey scales. saen has ear fins like a dragon, and spikes going down saens back that may or may not start with the scales. six of spades has a lizard like tail and long, angular talons. save for color scheme (monarch eris was green), the spitting image of saens parent. six of spades also wears a worn gold crown and carries a worn gold staff with a magic gemstone orb, both posessions of monarch eris

wldheart and reaper convince six of spades to come with them.

eventually, they encounter a young (about 13 year old)

[itsyueko]

.0736.

i so i’m practicing military time now. and i feel like since i talk about my feelings so much on here, that i can spill them out here as much as i feel. i’m just craving for that interaction without intentionally realizing itts. so i replied back to two messages friday evening (to guys). and realized i want to talk to more girlfriends tooos but fortunately my friend Hannah works with me night shifts except she’s part time because of school. And I’ve been adding and have been added as friends by my colleagues at work. One of them who very oddly resembles my ex ex before bc tall and lanky and very sarcastic and very filipino and cosplays with his wife and friends 😅 and when we’re at work hes supposed to be  the bedside shift report getting out of the day shift and i’d be the person he would report to bc nights.

And I guess because I’ve been updating my manager on things and letting her know my concerns and showing her consistency at work so far since my orientation training, I’ve also been updating my colleagues too but some of them (really only one or two of them 😒) enjoy gossiping about the other coworkers, mainly about my friend Hannah. It’s like you really have nothing better to do .-. Honestly if that patients were fine with her last night and only had one or two concerns that don’t involve YOU, and were just by their opinion or by pain even though your tech the previous night did everything they could and consistently ask for pain meds (even if theyre on scheduled ones AND not to mention even though I was on the brink of falling asleep the whole shift with only two hour sleeeps, I still saw and heard Hannah going in and out of the patients rooms during hourly rounding). On a serious note, this lady, Sylvia .-. she’s this thick african american accent who is also pretty new at work for about a month now from what my manager told me. She’s beautiful she’s this old lady with dark skin and hair braided and tucked half up/down. BUT, her manners during bedside shift report were not. 

My point is, I can talk with these guys. We can be catty and shit talk about each other, as long as we’re still giving that care to the patient. I realized I’m still irritable if only having 2-4 hours of sleep a day, so I’ll try to take Tim’s advice (former uic classmate/ former one week or month crush/current friend ish who’s friends with Katherine 😅 bc out of the blue he messaged me a few days ago and we were talking about nursing and his passion for sticking needles into patients and drawing their blood lmao) and try to sleep RIGHT AFTER getting home from work and getting settled obviously. idk, I just naturally wake up at 11 or noon from those naps and end up going to sleep at 6. So i guess that would be 5 hours of sleep sometimes but broken up in between throughout the day. I would have to have my alarm set for 8;45. LATELY, I’ve been wanting to go to work at 9:30 and be there at that time and then clock in at 9:53, because of looking over the kardexes and seeing if theyre updated or not. Obviously my plains just end up with me coming in 3 minutes before 10 anyway :/ and just scribbling away patient info on my nursing sheets. And then try to jump immediately into bedside report. I think I’ll be more considerate and aware because I know the PT(patient) will want to sleep right after getting their VS and having used the bathroom, being repositioned, and feeling more comfortable in bed. Fortunately, most of the 13-bed patient rooms in ortho on my unit, are alert and oriented. Theres been times where we will get a few extra people who are diagnosed for GI bleed, Hx pneumonia or other iso precautions BUT along with an ortho surgical thing, or nausea, etc. Most of the time these extra patients can walk, and at night time just assist standby as needed and check on them hourly rounds and doing garbage and linens in between. 

During the morning shift, our manager will be doing rounds on the patients and techs as well just like I’ve seen during my orientation training for mornings. She gave me a tip after orientation to make sure the room looks neat and tidy, even if they wanted to keep their linens in their room, make sure it all looks presentable, common sense etc. And then she’d go and ask how their night went, and depending if we’ve given them that care or not, then the most they’d complain about is just pain even if they’ve taken all their meds. And a tip she gave me for adjusting that pain, is maybe have a pillow underneath their surgical elbow to elevate it, or have a towel rolled up and put underneath the ankle/heel to relieve pressure. Offer to make sure their SCD’s are on and offer to reposition them. And the ones who are back surgicals (laminectomies) we’d have to make sure they get into bed safely and log roll them into position. So they’d have to trust their arms, elbows, and side of their bodies to maneuver themselves into bed, while we offer to support their legs or any part of their body to help them into bed. One of them the other day before my shift ended adn after bedside report, asked me if I would be working that evening again, and I told her sadly that i was off the weekend and she complimented me for my bedside care and was proud of herself that she was able to get back into bed and said her thanks for having given her a new gown to dress into because she was mostly sweating and getting cold/warm throughout the night. I had offered to change her linens at 3 in the morning because of a stain from her lower back dressing and made sure she knew that the nurse was informed also. And because she had her daughter come by yesterday there were a few chairs that kinda crowded the room so I made the space looked neater since she used a commode at the bedside. 

I think I’m getting used to it it’s been a first week for me on the floor without a preceptor. Technically that was supposed to be my second week by myself, BUT I asked my manager if I could have another week to practice and be on the floor to get used to the routine and just have someone there to assist whenever I needed it. She commended me for being honest and reassured that it would be an excellent idea considering she wants me to feel comfortable and confident on the floor. And at least during nights we don’t have to remove foleys (if their foleys were removed during the day, we would just make sure if they havent been urinating after 6-8 hours consistently that we would have a hat in there and possibly day shift before their shift ends would do a bladder scan). And at least at night we wouldn’t have to do iv removals, UNLESS, the patient asks for it on the very morning like 3-4 a.m if they were concerned about it and just wanted it removed on the day theyre getting discharged. Like the other day I had to remove one because a patient of mine was getting discharged to go to westmoreland/ECF (similar to nursing home/rehab care until they can go home) and was hoping she’d get the best care there like she had with me and a few other techs. This was the same patient who also appreciated me sharing with her my stories about writing and reading for fun or for just student train in tutoring a few semesters ago. So far, after being asked how nights went by several people, I’ve kept some key information in mind like if they wanted to walk around in the middle of the night then let the nurse know and also let them walk if they need to. Obviously not on the day fresh out of surgery, but when PT/OT says it’s okay and walk with them too. And be sure to be considerate of trash and their posessions like making sure their overbed table wasn’t cluttered with old tissues or that theyre phone or their spirometer (instrument patients use to measure air capacity bc we’d also need their saturation to be at 92/93+) was in reach if they needed or out of reach. 

So that was the gist of the first week, and then suddenly getting that message out of the blue by him. And it feels like earlier and yesterday I had all these thoughts running in my head about it or what-ifs like if I had been at uic longer and chosen to stay. Or etc. what-if in the future. I just wanted to write it down because it means something to me and having people from the past come back to you in a way where that interaction isn’t lost forever. I think what I learned from a couple of online classes and reading from lectures is at this certain age and before your 40′s, people tend to feel a lost of intimacy and identity still searching but that they try to fill in their time and everything. And I’m thankful at least he liked that I talked alot, as if I hadn’t talked about it in forever with someone and felt like I was just keeping it to myself and needed to spill what I felt. And he was glad he had someone to hear his thoughts and passions for perfusion and I think I just wanted insight on school and I think his parents are tryng to make him go back and do nursing. SOO if that’s the case, even though I told him to fight for what he wants to do, we might end up being in the same batch for nursing if I go to uic haha. Since i have the same plans to take anatomy at my school rn and a few other courses but for chamberlain or uic. It’s iffy right now and maybe there’s a chance as long as I have other schools backed up. I just like how after watching so many nursing and med student videos online, that it’s not too late to achieve your dreams, it’s not too late to start over 🌸☀️

#personal #school #studying #nursing student #pre nursing #study #studyblr #night owl #night shift #northwestern medicine #feelings #bc im in feeels and don't want to overthink about other stufff but i'm glad that someone has an open mind about things so i like talking #and sharing things with them #hopefully if i get into uic's or if they go there #at least there's someone from the past to hand off and share notes and lecture experiences with #despite being in the same or seperate schools #yesterday i was dealing with so many emotions that i soooo wanted to get over lol and watched a couple of new updated videos #from other students on youtube #and i felt more encouraged to get there and despite a failed class or two of theirs #they were able to move past it and graduate with honors and still become an RN #and get into their dream jobs #it's awesome and I feel more that encouraged to support my situation to these schools #bc life happens and it's never to late to start over #and want that license and kitty and studio apartment c: