#they hurt so good

[superbattrash]

Iceberg smiling all proudly because his baby bro’s friends are willing to both swallow their pride and risk their lives to save him 😭😭

#thESE TWO ARCS I AM TELLING YOU PEOPLE #THEY HURT SO GOOD #GO SAVE ROBINNNNN #paulie. baby. why are you hiding like this #you could just ask to come with #god you’re perfect #mish watches one piece

[ormspryde]

Well I finally got my spicy pork rinds where the spice wasn't salt, I'm so pleased

#they hurt so good

[cosmicallyavg]

still so upset murray gold didnt compose for thirteens era could you imagine “when did you last go home?” and then her looking over the burned landscape of gallifrey with “our childhood, our home” or "gallifrey" playing?? when her and the master are standing in its ruins together, “why did you do this?” “not telling you” or as hes telling her the story of the timeless child??? aaauuughhhhhh

#its one of my favessss #it evokes such an emotion in me #they hurt so good #like there isnt really a specific theme for gallifrey in her era #afaik? #like the least they could have done was something similar #like sample or interpolate it or smt #because i miss it sm #anyways #doctor who

[midnight-coffee94]

No single line has ever wrecked me as hard as this one from the Good Place and I think about it constantly

#the good place #i'm binge watching it again and it just takes me out so hard #i get lost in the sauce thinking about this quote #the idea that those who hurt you are capable of being better people and then seeing them change and grow just hits me right between the rib #who am i kidding it stabs me like the senators stabbed Caesar #anyway #icy does a tag ramble

[elmaxlys]

looking at my grief playlist like why is there so much orden ogan? and then listening to orden ogan and going why isn't this one in my grief playlist already?

#they hurt so good

[simplykaren]

Currently devouring every fic I can find where Izuku has OfA but AM is dead.

#I seem to be in the mood for a particular flavor of emotional pain today #bnha #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #some of these are so good #they hurt so good

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Thistle Debut Day!

#dungeon meshi #Thistle #Old dungeon meshi fans remember the days when it was ambiguous what gender Thistle was. #Now we know Thistle uses he/him pronouns but in my heart Thistle is still non-binary. Clowngender elf with poor coping skills. #I hope the anime-only watchers know that this is a character to keep an eye on. #Love (in it's many forms) and desire (in it's many forms) is the main course of Dungeon Meshi and THIS silly jester? #My goodness. What a perfect encapsulation of how one can hurt other's so deeply in the name of love. #The actions we take to 'protect' other's is often the route to doing the most harm. #Love is letting go. Sometimes that means control and sometimes that means saying farewell forever to someone.

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[sunfoxfic]

We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore. We were so close. Then they flavored it mango and now it's taboo to criticize it anymore. People don't ask if they're allowed to vape indoors, they aren't considerate of people who may have health problems that are triggered by the chemicals or if it just bothers them, people don't care that they're supporting an industry built on corruption and greed, they can't see it draining their pockets and much less their health. We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore.

#i hate hate HATE nicotine after watching my parents smoke when i grew up #its gross and bad for your money and bad for your health #and i get it. theres SO MANY socioeconomic factors that make it a complicated issue. #you CANT blame smokers. #but it feels like people are just accepting the institution for what it is bc now it tastes good #bitch just chew gum jfc #it doesn't matter if its an industry issue. we have seen in the past that making it “uncool” hurts the industry #make nicotine uncool again PLEASE #grumbles

[nedlittle]

genuinely i think it's important for adults, especially in the plague times, to play pretend in our day-to-day lives. when i rub my back down with tiger balm so i can sleep without pain, i imagine i am a valiant knight tending to an old injury i received from a dragon. when i go to the store to pick up eggs and milk, i am a lone cowboy riding into town on a mission. when i turn my collar up against the wind i am a femme fatale who's killed 4 husbands and is scoping out a 5th. when i stomp around in the snow i am a doomed polar explorer. if being a little bit silly about my walk to the pharmacy helps me remember that life can be full of joy and whimsy, then so be it.

#this is a pointless text post #my most embarrassing version of this is that whenever it was foggy at the lighthouse i imagined i was emily bronte #or that i was taking a walk in the fog with my good friend emily bronte :^) #so much of this is also tied into the fact that my body hurts all the goddamn time #i am trying to make my pain something i can live with #is this gonna be how i learn that normal people don't daydream about being In The Past #anyway do u guys imagine these sort of scenarios too or am i just a freak #greatest (s)hits

[i-like-to-look-at-your-back]

Sleeping off

#wolfstar #harry potter #the marauders #padfoot #remus lupin #adelaida art #finally finished! after over 9 months! it's my baby now #I've started it with a totally different mood in mind - bc my mood was at a bottom of a very big hole then #but time passed things changed and here we are with a more tough night but only one shoulder hurt and it's early morning and quite pretty #and we can sleep off the night and it's all good #madame pompfrey will fix those scratches in 15 seconds or less so i call it a win

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[barghest-land]

ata tu corazón, mi amor, y arrástralo por la tierra

#this art hurts so bad #in a way i'd never be able to explain #also it just upsets me a lot because i don't like how i did it:( #idk how to make it better so i'm just gonna leave it as it is #and go to sleep good night #it was supposed to be cool and simple just like that #but in my eyes it's just missing everything and i don't know how to fix it #genuinely thought it was gonna be a good art but here i am oh well. that happens i guess #im sorry javier :(( i'll make more good art i promise #barghestland #art #artists on tumblr #rdr2 #rdr2 fanart #javier escuella

[suiheisen]

you think YOU had a bad day at work?

bonus: sid shrieking "no!!!! NO!!!!!" loud enough to be heard in the stands and on camera

#this is now my FAVOURITE game i've watched in real life knocking the game misconduct one off the number one rank #he was so annoyed the entire game and so annoying about it :') #he kept shrieking away on the bench and i couldn't hear a word from where i was seated #but you could just hear this constant yipping away dhfsgfkjshgfsjf PLEASE it was so funny your 36-year-old babygirl was BARKING #drew kept sitting there like... is mom okay... i don't think mom's okay... #also extremely good for me (since he wasn't really hurt) was the whumpfest of it all oh my god what ancient gods did he anger......... #geno kept Hovering in concern #po kept giving him little shoulder pats the way a sweet brave babyboy would try his best to soothe a rabid little dog #ek of course kept trying to slide right inside him and also kept skating up to him and STARING him in the face in concern/lust/both #also guys this is my first time in canada ever!!!!!!!! i'm excited #anyway. very good game for me sorry for this post but you know i love a #long post #sidney crosby #evgeni malkin #pittsburgh penguins #also!!! to all who celebrate #ramadan kareem/eid mubarak #<333 staying with a friend here through the eid celebration and they've been cooking and everything smells so good

[grammatically-incoherent]

thank you mr. braugher. you did it right. and it was perfect.

#b99 #b99daily #jokeperalta #youngsambergs #userbbelcher #tvandfilm #this one hurt to make #the way they smile like that it's so andy and andre #goddamn it #if this gifset makes you cry GOOD bc i cried making it #andre braugher #andy samberg #captain holt #jake peralta #ohheycool #250 #500 #1k

[nipuni]

So we are watching Broadchurch, here are some sketches! 😊

#broadchurch #alec hardy #david tennant #and a lil Miller #we just finished S1 and are really enjoying it!! #Alec is so fragile please stop hurting my man #He and Ellie deserve so much better aaa #Jodie Whittaker is so amazing in this her acting is so good #my art