#they just got a bit hot headed

[batemanofficial]

can i say something controversial. the way people (especially american liberals but that's a whole nother can of worms) act about animal testing is sooooooooooo unhelpful. like is cosmetic testing on dogs/rodents/primates harmful and unnecessary? yes, in many cases! but does that mean all animal testing - for any application - should be categorically banned? no. animal testing is a vital process in many, many medical and research contexts and is conducted under a very strict set of standards, ergo applying "animal abuse" as a blanket label to all instances of animal testing is reductive at best and shows a flagrant lack of understanding of medical ethics on the part of the population. and don't even get me started on how slippery of a slope it is to go from condemnation of animal testing to just flat out eugenics

#speak friend and enter #and nobody better fucking come at me with 'what if we just tested on prisoners.' that is eugenics #like i think the thing that a lot of people just refuse to wrap their heads around is that these animals are bred for this. #it's not pleasant to think about but it's the reality of the situation and is a much more favorable outcome for both humans and animals #than many of the alternatives. #animal research is integral to our current understanding of biology and medicine and continues to be an important phase in research #anyway i saw a video about people doing urbex at an abandoned animal testing facility and got mad. it's a bit of a hot button for me! #there's also a point in there about public refusal to engage with the unsavory aspects of science and anti-intellectualism #but im too lazy to tease it out. but you get where im coming from

[peapodsplace]

Hey Baba, it seems like you've been seeing a lot of yucky stuff online right now. A lot of people who aren't remembering their manners and are forgetting that there's people behind a screen. I know you like your screen time but please remember that the world isn't all like that okay? Some people are different online and forget their values and let's remember that these days, algorithms perpously show you things that'll make you upset. Yes, yes it's not very fair, is it sweetheart. Please remember to take some breaks and that the world isn't really like that. It's so important to protect yourself. Yes, silly even if you think you don't deserve it; because you do.

#todd talks #🫛 #agere #agere text #age regression #caregiver blog #caregiver text #agere reminders #inspired by my instagram filling up with really scary & unhelpful advice and people who are just coming out to bully people #please remember everyone that the hot market these days isnt real estate or stocks it is peoples attention spans and companies want to show #you the cherry-picked very best and the tailor made worst just for you #for years i only had tumblr reddit and youtube because i dont want a big digital footprint and i dont think much good comes from it #but i got instagram a few months ago so i can stay in touch with people and oh my gosh its vile #even when youre so particular about what you like/watch #but!! #as long as youre being aware you are already doing great. if you catch your self going hang on. this is a rubbish post. thats you recognisi #whats going on. which makes it a lot harder for it to get to you #sorry if this is a bit much but its something thats really important to me.. i just think social media is so evil these days. #be your online body guard!!! protect your feed!! keep your head up!!! #and if you feel you cant??? i can take care of it for you raaaa!

[nerosdayinanime]

sabito = dirtbike redneck. you cant convince me otherwise

#fratboy sabito posting #sabito #kny sabito #idk #was suddenly hit w the realization that i think him being a countryboy/redneck kinda crazy is *hot* #[head in hands knees on the floor folded in despair] #i know im southern but this wasnt supposed to happen. it wasnt supposed to be this way. what the fuck man. #sabito & giyuu keep makin me Into shit!! what the fuck!! #i wanna draw him doing wheelies and flips off dirt ramps. doughnuts. taking off his helmet n having dumb lil marks from it. #trying and failing to convince giyuu to drive a dirtbike & instead him getting on a 4wheeler #sab & makomo bullying him for being scared of dirtbikes but not the literal Twice As Big 4wheeler #idk. sabito just seems like a biker in general to me. dirtbikes just got the most 'will do bat shit insane stuff for funsies' vibe to em #all of them are a bit crazy but dirtbikes are Scary crazy. bmx bike tricks but it has a fucking MOTOR why are you doing 20ft leaps and flip #off cliffs what the fuck. #i can see sabito being a little deranged when he gets excited. normal when hes chill but as soon as he sees somethn fun all #sense goes out the window. he needs to be child harnessed to keep him from throwing himself off a wall like 'i could totally make that jump #on one hand giyuu gets life experiences and exposure to making new friends- on the other he has to stop sabito from being #the equivalent of a human lemming trying to throw itself into the hands of death at every waking moment #sabito in turn keeps giyuu from being too boring or being a scardy cat abt things. he also learns the art of 'quiet time' and 'how to Chill #honorable mention of my vague raspy voice sabito hc #kinda slight but v obvious when he raises his voice or yells #i think the sabito brainrot is actually overtaking the giyuu brainrot now. oh no #hes fictional²!! none of this shit [motions to my blog] is canon to him #thasa whole 'nother bitch!! i declare this brainrot Unfounded #wont stop me tho. 'm havin fun

[riddlerosehearts]

i know it's past halloween when i'm posting this, but as a vildia shipper i've been thinking a lot about what vil and idia would do together for halloween--ignoring the existence of the halloween event that we already have--and since i imagine them getting together post-book 6, when ortho has joined the film club and idia is trying to be a better brother to him and be less of a shut-in overall, i think it's a lot of fun to imagine the two of them taking him trick-or-treating!!

i think ortho has tried to get idia to take him trick-or-treating before, but every year idia always says no because he thinks going around to a bunch of rando's houses to get candy is scary, lame, and pointless (they can literally just buy candy at the store, after all!) and he has too many special halloween events to play in his video games anyway. so one day during a film club meeting a few weeks before halloween, ortho offhandedly mentions this, saying he's always wished idia would take him trick-or-treating, and vil decides to talk to idia about it. it actually doesn't take much for idia to agree that yes, it is wrong of him to stay in his room all day when his little brother wants to spend time with him on a holiday, and he absolutely should do it this year, no matter how nervous the thought of it makes him.

he asks vil to come with them, and vil initially says no because as much as he enjoys the aesthetic of halloween, he has a certain reputation and image as a celebrity that does not include doing such childish activities at the age of 18. but idia gets him to change his mind by convincing him that, actually, a lot of his fans would love to see photos and videos of him taking a little kid trick-or-treating because it would be gap moe! a term which vil understands without explanation thanks to idia--and he can see how such a thing just might actually be good for his image, simply by making him seem less otherworldly and unrelatable. so, he agrees, and the three of them spend the next several weeks trying to make their costumes absolutely perfect.

they really go all out, and they have a ton of fun with it. idia's costume has a mask that he keeps on at pretty much all times, so that keeps him from being nearly as nervous as he thought he'd be... except for when ortho gets so excited that he tries to just blast off from house to house without him or vil. but, he and vil both are incredibly happy to see that ortho is so happy, and throughout the night idia's ego gets inflated from all the compliments the three of them get on their costumes, and he and vil constantly exchange snarky comments under their breath about the quality and craftsmanship, or lack thereof, of the costumes and decorations they come across. they collect tons of candy and idia makes sure to add a special attachment to ortho's gear to allow him to actually eat it. vil started thinking he was too old for trick-or-treating a long time ago, but he ends up being pretty glad he went, especially when he sees all of the positive reactions from his fans on magicam.

i also think that before and after the trick-or-treating, ortho would hang out and do halloween stuff with his fellow first years while idia and vil take some time for themselves! the first thing they would do is that idia would introduce vil to one of his favorite survival horror video games, one that has a 2-player co-op mode, and vil might take a bit to get the hang of it but would ultimately really enjoy playing the game with idia.

later at night, they cuddle up and have a bit of a halloween movie marathon. based on idia's love of pumpkin hollow, he's definitely into horror movies, and i also think vil is as well, since he was directing a gothic horror for the film club in silver's PE uniform vignette and then based pomefiore's halloween costumes on gothic horror aesthetics. so, vil would get idia to watch his favorite classic gothic horror film, idia would force vil to watch pumpkin hollow (which vil did not think he would enjoy based on idia's description of its story, but by the end, while he still found it a bit silly, he was able to admire its craftsmanship and creativity and see why idia loved it so much), and then they decide to wind down and watch something more lighthearted. they pick howl's moving castle and idia compares howl to vil several times during the movie, which vil briefly gets annoyed by but then uses as an opportunity to tease idia back.

#twisted wonderland #twst #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #vildia #vilidia #idiavil #vil x idia #idia x vil #sorry for all the tags lmao. twst ship names are a bit of a mess and on top of that this one is a rarepair #BUT. tbh i have no idea what halloween on the island of woe is like or if we have any information on that in canon?? #but at the very least--even if ortho and idia went trick or treating as little kids they DEFINITELY never did it again after OG ortho died #also the thought of these two watching howl's moving castle together is unreasonably funny to me i'm sorry #idia: a super hot and super scary mage who steals pretty girls' hearts? sounds a lot like you LOL #vil getting VERY close to idia: hm. then YOU must the lovely young thing whose heart i'm planning on taking next. #idia: trying to stop his entire head from turning pink #they get to the scene where howl throws a tantrum and says there's no point in living if he can't be beautiful #just because his hair accidentally got turned orange #and idia goes 'LMAO wow babe he's just like you fr' #vil: wow and you're just like calcifer! you're both fiery and lovably obnoxious <3 #okay. anyway. EVERY TIME i make a post about this ship it's already longer than originally planned and then i add more in the tags #so i'll stop it here

[arsenicflame]

ran out of time to finish my full feelings write up before s2 but i wanted to put something out there before we start getting content so this might be a bit incomplete

ive been thinking about what i really want to see in s2, and in general im happy to trust the crew with whatever they do but there is one thing id like to see

id like to see izzy not forgive ed

ive already talked about how serious i find the act of severing his toe & surrounding details in general and i think, given we KNOW its going to get worse (at some point izzy loses his leg, so) i dont think the amputation can be brushed off as just a pinky.

what i want to see is their relationship worsen and worsen and get to a breaking point and just. when everything starts to goes back to how it was before, ed tries to treat izzy like he used to (not during the kraken era, but before that, before the revenge, back when they knew each other, when they were friends) and izzy doesn't take it. he flinches, or walks away, or does anything to brush ed off. ed hasn't apologised yet, of course, its izzy, its his izzy, they understand each other! or he thought they did but now hes realising that mayyyyybe he should give him a proper apology.

so he does. and:

"i dont forgive you"

and if course. ed doesn't know what to do with this izzy always forgives him, has since they were kids! why not now?

from izzys perspective, he simply cant take it any more. he will take the consequences of his actions, but he cant lie anymore and pretend he wasn't destroyed by what ed did. and maybe hes learning its not just ed and izzy against the world anymore. there are people who will stand beside him- they might not always like him, he might spit and hiss at calling them his friends, but he knows, deep down, he is not alone anymore. and that its time to take a stand. to put himself first for once.

he cant forgive him, not for this

its at this point ed realises that he might have fucked up. really fucked up. its not that he doesn't care about how the crew feels, hadnt already realised what he had done but. again, its izzy. there was a time he thought there was nothing he could do that izzy wouldn't forgive.

the way i see it this is the point that ed starts to properly rebuild. oh he thought he was doing it before but it was more masks and layers, but now he has to truly confront his actions and the consequences they have on his relationships and that maybe. he is like his dad. but at the same time, he has the space to learn that even if he is, thats not all he can be. he can be better, choose to do better, and it's hard and doesn't always work but he has to try, has to keep trying because if he fails? he has no one to fall back on any more

so izzy doesn't forgive ed.

and ed learns to forgive himself, in time. and maybe he will apologise again, and izzy still doesn't forgive him. and maybe ed learns to be ok with that. and maybe in the wreckage of decades of blackbeard and first mate hands, they can build something new. it won't be the same, and maybe there will always be a distance between them, but in time, with work, they can be friends again.

#id started on this thread before the e1 clip but that really solidified how i was feeling #caveat that there is obviously forgiveness both ways im not ignoring that im just speaking specifically about izzy to ed here #got fed up of trying to make this a proper post (see top note) so this is kinda just. run on. train of thought #get it out my head before it eats me #originally this was gonna be heavier on WHY i wanna see it but its a bit more narrative now idk #i don't control my brain #if this is a hot mess i am sorry i Did Not reread it once #and my handle on words is spotty at best on a good day #nyxtalks #ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #vaguely #izzy hands #israel hands #blackhands #edizzy #i need the izzy hands intervention squad to show him he has people who will back him on this 100% #hes not alone anymore hes safe and he doesn't need to take it #idk i just think. the loss of izzy would be the final straw for ed (izzy stays. thats the one truth. izzy stays) and it would destroy him #but maybe in a way he needs to be destroyed #idk what weve seen so far is very hot and cold and up and down and A Mess and jst. idk im pushing him over the edge #they consume me i want to lock them in a small room together i want to get them both 500m restraining orders #i did not include the 'Izzy leaves the boat' tangent on this but the door is open. to me. (sam. sam is there. To Me.)

[bmpmp3]

doodle of another little doll i got, one of the simontoys teennar campus dolls! i think she's like grapefruit themed? orange? some kind of citrus. she came with a bunch of extra hands and one of them was this thumbs up and im obsessed with it its so funny i want every doll to have a thumbs up option hand now

#art #traditional art #watercolour #simontoys #teennar campus #dollposting #i deleted my doll blog because im too lazy to keep track of more than 2 blogs so any doll blogging is now going on my main blog LOL #i'll try to keep that as a dedicated tag #i really like this doll shes so cute. theyre really solid standing for a big headed 1/12 scale doll too #maybe its because the school of fancies pennys box dolls are quite a bit spindlier and collapse under their own weight #while these simon toys ones are a little thicker and shorter #i recently put a bit of hot glue in my deer girls legs though so she stands okay by herself #(both still probably need stands if you wanna display em tho LOL just the nature of their big heads) #this doll is so so cute though i love the big thumbs up with the confused stare..... she got NO idea whats going on ever #i know they did an alternate color version in their sakura serious of the same doll and im seriously tempted #its just such a cute design with the fluffy sweater and citrus bear ears hjkfsfjkdlsd

[strangerhands]

mmmmm heyyy👁️. ive basically been gone from tumblr for over two days because ive been feeling like a shitty piece of shit. BUT. i finally saw dune part 2 and ohmygoddddd it was so so good. but yes. i was missing leto so bad the entire time. Father come back pls. i need you.

#it was so good tho #like so cool i was internally freaking out about how cool things looked #the fight scenes🤌 #the environments/settings🤌 #all of the fuckin machinery🤌 #the acting🤌 #the everything🤌 #yum #also i dont find austin butler attractive but funnily enough feyd was the only time ive found him hot😭 yes i have issues. but like. okayyy.. #i watched it alone and i wish doing things alone wasnt seen as such a weird or sad thing like. theres nothing wrong with it #sorta vent-> #but basically ive been feeling like an annoying piece of shit so ive been staying off of here for the most part #because ive been convincing myself no one likes me and everyone in my life would be better off without me😝😝 #just tee bee ehch #and idk i was just feeling like ass and was doing nothing and when i finally would go to use tumblr i was already too tired to do shit #so i just went to sleep #and i was busy today #yesterday* #and ill probably be a bit busy today too but idk maybe hopefully ill catch up a bit #idk ya boys just been hating himself like usual but not as usual bc it was worse but it is what it is #i felt a bit better yesterday though #and also my new antidepressants ive been on havent been doing shit for me so im going back to a previous one i used to be on so yea #hopefully that helps soonish idk #i never vent on here so i feel kinda bad for doing so but i just wanted to puke my thoughts here #also since im already here complaining ive just like. not written at allllllll basically like i got into my head and made myself discouraged #so. that sucks. but also nothing out of the ordinary there #why does Everything i say sound so embarrassingly depressing and pathetic hhhhhhhgggggggggggggghhhghghg #anyways yea i was doing bad im still not doing good but hopefully will be a bit better so ill be back and caught up later today or tomorrow #idk if anyone gave a fuck or noticed but i just like complaining into the void so yea #talkin shit

[singswan-springswan]

the little mermaid but it's kanera

#“I want to know what the sky tastes like. but If I fly on a ship that's close enough” #“Hera get your kriffing head out of the clouds and back in the kriffing water where it belongs” #“I won't lose my only child the way I lost her mother” #“yo dad I'm like in my twenties” #“You're still my child” #“the prince? yeah yeah he's hot but loOK AT HIS SHIP” #“Oh kanan it isn't just me the whole kingdom wants to see you happily settled down with the right girl” #“She's out there somewhere Oke and when I meet her I'll know! It'll just hit me! bam! like lightning!” #“that may be a bit in poor taste” #“Yeah the last time you got electrocuted it didn't turn out too well” #“wow okay sabine but no one asked you” #“thrawn what in the seven seas would you need my voice for” #“princess are you blind read the contract it says your voice is my payment” #“right but why do you want it” #“Well if you must know Eli broke my record player and now we can't rig a proper cauldron playlist so take this as a compliment” #“zeb is it just me or is the queen being suspiciously nice” #“hera clearly she thinks you're daughter-in-law material why else would she keep arranging dates for you and the prince” #“aw i love her”

[skinreflectsthesun]

.

#okay I never understood the appeal for audibles with books #I can’t stand being read to #I’m a fast paced reader I like the imagine things in my head #the way you read something might not be how it would’ve sounded in my head #but listen… #the audio snippet I just heard for a book #legit had me like 👀👀👀👀🥵 #like how a grown man can do audio for some of these books without laughinggggg at the dialogue I don’t understand #but also like…goddamn 👀👀👀👀👀👀 #got my eyes watering #is it hot in here?? #it’s a bit toasty #also I alwayssss wanted to do like audio books I’ve been told by friends I have a good reading voice #however I don’t know that I could read these particular books out loud without blushing #it’s weird enough as is reading them to myself 😂😂😂😂 #anywaysssss

[troublcmakcrs]

//i know i've said craig stops wearing his hat in his adult verses but i'm 🤏 this close to putting the bitch back on bc all his hair ever does is make me wanna scream and cry

#misc :: ( ooc ) #//HE'S GOT SUCH A SIMPLE STYLE ON PAPER #//BUT FOR SOME REASON I STRUGGLE THROUGH IT EVERY TIME #//i need to settle on a design for my adult craig but i can't make the thing in my head be real #//i was dicking around with him a lil bit earlier #//and i elongated and thinned out his face a lil and that helped somewhat with the proportions of stuff #//it also contrasts better with tweek who is my square lil motherfucker #//tweek would have a much softer rounder face if he wasn't half-starved with one foot in the grave #//i think i just have drawing child!craig so engrained in my brain #//that i keep wanting to give him that round squishy face #//but no apparently he's best suited to evolve into a triangle or w/e #//anyway. fuck craig fr #//if he looks stupid oh well; tweek is the hot one anyway JDKAJSK

[seventh-district]

in other news i cannot stop fucking listening to Brokenheartsville by Joe Nichols and i’m starting to annoy myself with it but. i cannot stop. it’s too good

#Seven.txt #music stuff #it’s this perfect mix of being applicable to my current taste while also being a very nostalgic song for me #‘cause i liked it when i was a kid. and i recently heard it on my father’s radio outside. and man it’s been y e a r s since i’ve heard it #why is it so addictive to me #like. you cannot make a song that opens with the lyrics- #‘He wore that cowboy hat to cover up his horns. *insert seductive guitar sounds here* Sweet-talkin’ forked tongue had a temptin’ charm.’ #and expect my southern and devil-loving ass to not go fucking feral over it #even when i’m not listening to it it’s playing in my head. was analyzing the lyrics the whole time i was in the shower earlier #but what’s funny is i think i’ve listened to it so many times that i’ve developed a whole new story than the one actually being told #but like. with how much he’s supposedly upset that this guy stole his girl or whatever #which i know he’s probably just comparing some dude to the devil and not actually saying that it was the Devil Himself #but it’s so much better if u picture it as actually being the devil that’s picking up this dude’s girlfriend in a bar #but anyways given how that’s supposed to be the point. he spends so much time describing the devil and ain’t got shit to say abt his girl #like okay buddy. we know you liked his cowboy hat. we know you liked his sweet-talkin’ tongue. #we’ve heard all about the make and model of his Long and Chrome Very Red Hot Sexy Devil Car #do u not have anything to say abt ur girlfriend. are u not gonna wax poetic abt her? no? too busy admiring the Devil and his Hot Car?? yeah #we’re gathering that #like.. brother… i dunno how to tell u this but i think u might wanna fuck him a lil bit #‘Love’s gone to hell and so have I.’ yeah!! i’m gathering that!! good for u dude!! get it!! #so now the whole time i’m listening to it i’m just like. this is a love song abt the devil! #which it isn’t. but it could be!! and so that’s what i’m choosing to see it as. bc i’d feel the same way tbh #i much prefer the idea of him being pissed that he missed his chance to run away w/ the devil than being pissy over his girlfriend leaving #it’s just so much more appealing to me im sorry #also. side note. when i was a kid i thought the line was ‘that angel up in the air’ and not ‘that angel who did me in’ #and i don’t know how i misheard it so badly but now i sing it wrong every fuckign time cause it’s still cemented in my head from childhood #how young was i. hold on. #oh yeah it came out in 2002. so yeah i was quite young when i heard it a lot so i think im forgiven for mishearing it so badly lmao

[dexaroth]

i cant believe the day but i finally got a full tower pc. bought it already built and at a considerable discount of some 320 dollars off. its fucking huge and theres so many things going on inside... i was initially planning on choosing the parts myself but finding the graphics card was so hard and everyone else convinced me to just buy it built and honestly? good. id probably have fucked this up so badly by myself

i cant use it yet bc i took too long to buy the monitor that was also on sale and now its regular price -_- tho i managed to find a discount used one for now. well see how that goes since ill get it tomorrow. i tested it on out living room tv and it had some kaspersky thingy open and like thats so cute. i hope they left some treats in the browsing history for me to search through before i wipe it clean

#its a hexer case and wouldnt you guess the front has a hexagonal pattern. so pretty.. #it came with 3 fans installed there too that have a cmyk color style to them and it looks quite neat. im thinking of buying some leds to pu #inside the case to go with my keyboard tho idk if id go that far tbh (< gamer rot is setting in. im not immune to pretty lighting..) #its also got a lot of unused space inside. im thinking of making more sculptures to put in. though idk if thatd be safe for it #bc cold porcelain is glue and water. what if it evaporates inside and suddenly everythings covered in a glue film #i wonder if varnish would help? the transparent nail polish sure didnt do shit it came off like 2 days after sculpting the rw slug sleeping #which like yeah of course. its nail polish. but i didnt expect it to flake since all it does is sleep on top of my laptop keyboard #i need miniature glass cake cover tops to encapsule every sculpture inside for safety #looking at it still no wonder these are called towers gotdamn its legit so huge.. #it looks awkward tho bc i cant fully make it glue to the wall bc of the cables so its like. awkwardly a bit in front of the wall #im scaared as to how to tell if it ever gets too hot. on a laptop u just press ur head against the left half and feel how hot it is #i think im gonna need software for this.. sigh. tho maybe ill never get to that point since its supposed to be decent #AND its not 8 years old + the 3 fans and gpu fan and cpu fan. surely thats enough. the case even has space for more than that!! #the acrylic side reflects my keyboard too. so niceys. stimulation for my creature eyes #my desk is gonna be so fucked up when i have to organize everything too bc the one i have now is perfecly laptop-oriented #it sits on a custom wooden desk and the keyboard+drawing tablet sit below. but theres a shelf on top of my desk thats too low for the> #>normal monitor to sit to so i wont be able to use the custom desk. and i dont even know what ill do with my laptop either #finally a good change in my sad life routine fr. i cant wait to play watchdogs on this and overgrowth and other ones #AND LAGLESS KRITA SMUDGE ENGINE BRUSHES!!! AND DOUBLE BRUSHES. THEYRE SO LAGGY #A N D ACTUAL FULL HD NORMAL MONITOR. maybe that will get me to not draw in small canvases anymore #now im anxious i just want the day to be over to get the monitor tomorrow aouugh.. just bc i started coding my resources neocities page #dextxt #<the 'major life events' ((sorta)) tag returns. one for the books.. if something bad happens.. itll be here to remind me of the good times

[because-its-eurovision]

.

#no need to read or react just needed to rant about my brain a bit #the next two weeks are supposed to be super exciting with BC giving us a new look and song and music video #it's umk week and my favorite for once has historically great odds of winning and a good chance to do well at eurovision as well #I'm going to see umk live with my dear sister and stay at a hotel so it's like a mini-getout and then I'm going to stockholm and oslo gigs #this is supposed to be best times of the year so far but my brain decided we can't have any of that :) #last year at this same time I got hit hard with depression and the anxiety I've always had got even worse #it got to the point that nothing made me happy or feel anything at all and I just cried all day for weeks #everything about UMK night was blurry and sad because I wasn't talking to my bestie who I've watched eurovision with for 10 years #I just started crying during the Dark Side/ Bad Idea opening and the results felt like nothing #I'll always assiociate Bad Idea with my depression because it was playing on the radio in the nurse's office when I got my meds #anyway I can feel that same darkness crawling back to my brain right now and I'm very scared #my brain decides I don't deserve to be happy and screams about how unloveable and ridiculous and embarrassing and ugly I am #it isn't helping that Joel keeps reposting the most model-looking tiktokers because I always feel a hot gush of shame run through me #and everytime I see a pic of any of their blonde skinny young gfs I just wanna kms #now it's gotten to a point that the voice in my head yells at me that I don't deserve Bc or their music and I should cancel my gig trip #because they wouldn't wanna see a disgusting cow myself being so near the stage not to mention ask for a pic or autograph #and I should just hide in my apartment forever #and everyone who has ever been nice to me is either doing that out of pity or making fun of me behind my back #I can't take this anymore #delete later

[braingoburr]

It's midnight in thinking thoughts.

This was going to be a HAHA post about how my drama teacher would get our attention by throwing his cane on stage and making us scramble to catch him. Now I'm realizing that, that theater class fucked me up a bit.

The tags I wrote about bth old post now it's just venting lol.

#alright im done. #PAISLEY YOU'RE DOING GREAT.😠 #in the name of the father son & holy ghost. head shoulders. knees wnd toes bit #Thats rude and Oppressive 😠 #hot Cheeto girl #you'd be so cute! #kids aren't listening? make them panic lol. #just. fall 🏃‍♀️💨 #he'd also compliment us by yelling in a presumably angery voice. #he had let one of his students paint a snake on it. #i have his copy of Dracula #also he had this stuffed bear that was missing an arm so i made it a prosthetic and the class didn't like that. #literally cried while they cut it off #i think i got some unresolved issues with that class. #also i was hyperfixating on phineas and ferb at the timE so that didn't help me AT ALL. #this one girl got pissed at me for a No Burnham bit my friend and i kept the reciting the #STOP MAKING FUN IF MY RELIGION #girl. you're white and Christian. you where a you're not oppressed oppressed. #Christian/catholic religion has harmed thousands of people. SHH. YOU'RE FINE. #she'd also pin me to the wall with my wrists by my head #like a joke referencing a bit we did instage but still weird looking back. #they where all so obsessed with me dating thisnine kid in class too. even though i wasn't interested. . #no i think we just have Adhd and obscure Hyperfixations. #legit we had nothing in common after that. #but they where Pushing that relationship DOWN MY THROAT. not to him TO ME. #even his dad. WHO WAS MY HISTORY TEACHER. WAS IN ON IT #🕺🕺🕺 #neither of them can read social cues? AW THATS CUTE AND QUIRKY. LETS TRY OUR DAMNEST TO GET THE AFAB ONE TO START A RELATIONSHIP. EVEN THOU #NEITHER ARE INTERESTED.

[astrxealis]

merry christmas !!! :") <3

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #yk. usually i'm so excited for christmas bcs we used to play games with my relatives on my aunt's switch but. not this year <//3 #and uhm... yesterday. okay it was the worst morning of my life. i was hoping my day would get better. guess what? it just got worse. #so much worse !!! that yesterday. the day before christmas. is the worst day of my fucking year. #one of the worst in my whole life too i think! because my heart hurt so much in the morning and until the end of the day that i cried #myself to sleep wishing the pain would just stop and i was so worried and it was absolutely terrible esp because i haven't experienced #anything like that in a long time. my temperature was hot i had chest pains i felt like... tingles? through my body and. yeah #and that + the first hour of my morning. where it was just absolutely terrible and i had to kneel down while taking a shower bcs my head #hurt so much (but for another reason. maybe they're related.) #so... yeah. i hope i can still enjoy this christmas. i'm an optimistic person and i don't. let myself get put down by things like this! #i hope everyone has a wonderful christmas (if you celebrate! i'm not religious but we do bcs my fam is) #or if you don't celebrate just have a wonderful day <3 #sorry to. rant/ramble. about my horrid yesterday LMFAO <//3 #it sucks too bcs. yeah. a christmas that isn't as Fun and . ig kinda feels a bit lonely! empty! but it's fine <3

[bbeelzemon]

guess who got covid :)

thank you [roommate who went to florida and disney for a week and came back to our apartment with a bad cough and didnt take a covid test about it until like 24 hours after she got home]

#i do have 2 things to actually feel good about i guess #1) 2 and a half years without getting it? thats pretty good i guess #2) at least it wasnt my fault i got it. it wasnt ME being irresponsible and getting it someplace myself #however im pissed off because not only do i have to go through this now #but frill has to quarantine with me and theyre currently negative so im really worried about giving it to them directly #if frill or anyone in frills family gets covid because of me im going to bite and attack and maul our roommate #for bringing this into our home. #we went to frills parents house to quarantine away from roommate but i guess we werent quick enough so i got it anyway #and now im so so so paranoid i made a big mistake suggesting we come here. what if frills mom gets covid because of me 😭😭😭 #btw i have a fever and im so sweaty. but for now my smells and tastes are still normal so thats good #i was also a bit migrainey last night/this morning i felt really light sensitive and nauseous and my head felt like it was being squeezed #i wouldnt have thought to call it a migraine but frill said it sounds like the migraines they get occassionally so. probably #my face still feels weird but mostly i just feel really really hot right now. sleepijg was very annoying i woke up like 6 times #im also not bedbound currently. so thats good! gotsta appreciate the little things in times like this #it also doesnt feel like its in my lungs yet its mostly in my throat and head and a temperature thing #so. fingers crossed!