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#they kept talking about how hard it was performing without an audience
justzawe · 4 months
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Zawe Ashton on resilience, tackling complex roles and the fight for on-screen representation
The actress took to the stage at the 2023 Bazaar Summit
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When Zawe Ashton looks back at her career so far, she’s a little surprised: not at her own success, but at how she’s managed to navigate a notoriously tough industry so well. “When I talk about what I’ve been through, I think, why have I kept going?” the actress and writer told the audience at the 2023 Bazaar At Work Summit, at which she was a headline speaker. “I wonder if, to even become an actor, there needs to be something inside you that is already a little bit fractured. I think there’s something within me that somehow knows this level of crazy. When it gets really hard is when I feel my strongest or most determined.”
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Anyone who has watched and loved the cult favourite TV show Fresh Meat will be very thankful indeed that Ashton did keep going. Her character – the straight-talking, drug-taking, chain-smoking and anti-establishment Vod Nordstrom – was a highlight of Jesse Armstrong’s hit series. The popularity of the sitcom-style show (and particularly of Vod) made Ashton a household name and, to this day, it’s a role she’s proud of playing. “Vod was very left-field, free-thinking and probably, I would say, a queer character without that being made explicit,” she said. “Fresh Meat was 11 years ago now, but there’s still a whole new wave of people who come up to me – lots of young actresses, of every ethnicity – who say thank you to me for being smelly, unlikeable, strange and punky, because there aren’t a wealth of women who are doing that on screen.”
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Ashton clearly feels passionate about portraying real women in her work. In 2019, she published a fictionalised memoir, Character Breakdown, the title of which refers to the couple of lines an actor will receive with a script, which describe who the character is – for women, these mini biographies are often laughably simplistic and purely aesthetic. “They go from one extreme to another,” Ashton sighed with disbelief. “Where do we draw the line? If you’re not seeing women’s humanity, if you’re not seeing a full human life when you’re thinking about the ways in which you’re putting these descriptions together, then you’re not valuing women. And that’s a much bigger conversation than my industry.”
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Throughout her career, Ashton has fought to play complex roles and has always emphasised the importance of making multi-faceted women of every ethnicity visible on screen. When she took the role of Vod, “growing up as a young, biracial girl in Hackney,” she was “willing to do whatever it took to make that character as edgy and authentic as I felt she could be, so that it would invite anyone not seeing that kind of representation to feel really seen”. In 2022, Ashton scored a role in the period drama Mr Malcom’s List, which was a seminal moment for her – and one which she credits to the success of Bridgerton's diverse casting. “I had never seen any actor who looked like me invited to the table to perform [something like that],” she said. “I hadn’t known necessarily that I was hurting so much, until I saw that representation happen and the success of it take everyone by storm.”
Since then, Ashton has continued to push the envelope. This year, she played villain Dar-Benn – a role traditionally written as male – in The Marvels, opposite Brie Larson as Carol Danvers. “The process of learning stunts and fighting is probably one of the most empowering things I’ve done!” she laughed. “But when I thought the film was finished, I got pregnant and had my baby. And then they told me to come back and reshoot basically the whole movie. That has been the biggest journey for me: my physical wellness, my ability to endure, to mentally switch back into that place postpartum and come back to kick some ass again.” Perhaps unsurprisingly, a boundary-breaking superhero feels like Ashton’s best-suited role to date. (x)
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angelsanarchy · 5 months
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Alkaline: Euronymous x Y/N Series CH 10
Tagging: @ophelialaufey@madamemaximoff06@forever-not-gonna-sink@ajmiila02@liquidsmoothdomme@shady-the-simp @auggiethecreator
TW: Self harm, blood
Things had changed in almost an instant. Y/n had finally called and was lucky that Oystein had actually answered and was excited that she had actually called. They talked for at least three hours and decided that they would entertain the idea of seeing one another romantically but they weren't even close to talking about any sort of title of ownership. Y/n laughed feeling like she was discussing buying a car together or something but Oystein didn't want to cause her any problems socially if they told people they were dating.
The only thing Y/n told him was that she refused to share dick with anyone. If he wanted to be able to fuck her or get her naked, it would only be her and no one else. He agreed without any hesitation.
Now here she was, backstage in a swampy bar watching the band drink and act like idiots while she sat atop Oystein's lap applying his corpse makeup. Oystein was practically vibrating when she agreed to come to the show but when she showed up in tight black jeans that hugged her hips deliciously and a top that he had never seen her wear before that allowed her tits to sit plumply and just cover her belly button. He was hard before she even greeted him.
"How do you plan on playing when I can feel how hard you are right now?" Y/n teased now sitting on his lap applying the paint with a smirk.
"Shut up. It's your fault." Oystein tried to keep his face still but he did take advantage of her in his lap, squeezing her hips in his hands trying to leave bruises.
"Thank you...for coming. I honestly didn't think you would show up." He kept his voice quiet and Y/n suspected he didn't want the band to hear him.
"I told you I would. I'm excited to see you play." She was genuinely curious as to their sound. She had honestly not listened to a single one of their songs in all the time she's known Oystein. She knew how in love with the music he was and wanted to see him do something he was passionate about.
"Two minutes Euro! Let's fucking go!" Hellhammer yelled just as Y/n finished the lip lines.
"I'm done!" Y/n started to push off his chest but he pulled her back to him like he was going to kiss her but she pushed his head down to kiss the top of his head.
"I don't put makeup on often. You aren't ruining mine or yours." Oystein rolled his eyes at her. She had said she would hold his leather jacket while he performed and was surprised it didn't smell fucking terrible. I mean let's be real, he was a gross, sweaty dude who ate entirely too many gyros and barely ran a load of laundry once a week but he had attempted to cover the smell with cigarettes and what she assume was dryer sheets.
"Where do you want me Dark lord?" Y/n watched Oystein adjust himself and freeze mid-hand in his pants giving her an evil glare.
"I'll find a spot on my own." She stuck her arms into the jacket and headed back out to where people had already filed in. She spotted some familiar faces and their friend with the camera was actually really nice to her. She made sure to stand on the side she knew Oystein would be on and the moment they came onto the stage, everyone started losing their minds.
Y/n clapped and screamed but out of respect for Oystein, she made sure not to scream out his name. She still wasn't going to call him Euronymous but she would cheer for him. He found her in the audience and tried to keep an eye on her as they started to play. Y/n watched him get lost in his playing. It was almost majestic. Pelle's voice wasn't what she was expecting but it was hauntingly beautiful. She couldn't understand a word of it but she was enjoying the show.
They were about 50 minutes into the show when Pelle started bringing out what Y/n assumed were props but was quickly mistaken. He used a long dagger to slice down his arm from his elbow to his wrist, almost like he was blood letting his own demons out onto the crowd only making them more frantic. Y/n threw her hands over her mouth and Oystein's eyes went from Pelle slicing his wrists to the disturbed look on Y/n's face as it was happening. Pelle didn't do this at every show but he picked the one night that Y/n would be standing in the audience to tear through his skin and pour himself onto the crowd before chucking the severed pig head into the savage people below.
Y/n felt her whole body shaking and hot tears on her face that she couldn't fight back. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to help him. She wanted to call for help. She couldn't do anything. She stood frozen, afraid that id she moved she would collapse. When they finished the final note of their final song, she finally pulled her gaze away from Pelle's bloody mess and saw Oystein who was staring at her horrified.
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ckret2 · 27 days
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Hi! I think I found a typo in this chapter "makes it hard for him to relate to other..." I assume you meant "others"
I hope Gideon's parents don't mess up his childhood anymore than it has been. I think his friends would be able to help him out more than his family :( Maybe Bud should work at the alpaca farm too.
Do you think Gideon chose to open the tent of telepathy himself? Or has Bud been pressuring him into making money from the start? I think it could go either way depending on how the bolo tie really works. He'd still be pressured into stuff in a way though which sucks.
Not a typo actually, it was meant to be Joy trailing off mid-sentence: "makes it hard for him to relate to other [kids]," but she petered out mid sentence and switched to a statement that makes it sound like it's not Gideon who's at fault, it's the other kids ("And honestly, I think most of the children are jealous of his talents"). I might could edit that to make it clearer that that's her trailing off.
Even though she's the more passive parent, and even though she's clearly afraid of Gideon's temper, she's still one of his enablers. And one of the ways that manifests is in blaming other people for Gideon's failings.
Honestly I think establishing the Tent of Telepathy was little of both. There's a mention in the previous chapter of Gideon starring in his dad's car commercials when he was younger; I think that's how he got his start in the spotlight and learned how to weaponize being cute, doing stuff like this:
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When he got the mystic amulet, it was a natural progression. First Gideon starts using it for "magic tricks," maybe to impress other kids; next his dad goes "now that's something, can you do one of those tricks in our next commercial?"; next the commercials turn out to be a hit, so Bud gets the idea to do live shows at the dealership—lure people in to see Lil Gideon do magic, then try to sell them cars while they're there.
And so far Gideon's having a blast with it, he's always been pretty comfortable with the commercials because it's just what their family does and doing the magic shows is fun.
But it accelerates from there. At some point, other "tricks" get incorporated into the show, starting with your garden-variety cold reading, then escalating to spying, and that takes over as Gideon's main act. Now he's not just a clever child stage magician, he's a child psychic. The shows become popular enough that it occurs to Gideon's parents that he could make real money off them rather than just using them to advertise cars—and like, Gideon's a kid, making money from performing sounds exciting to him, he sees no downsides.
Maybe Gideon starts getting some serious attention at that point. Maybe a TV station from Portland does a little feel-good news story about this small-town child psychic; maybe he gets invited onto a local talk show; and that's when the idea of the tent of telepathy and/or touring comes up.
At this point, Gideon's probably been around the amulet enough that it's started to corrupt him—now he's getting hungry for the power and influence his new celebrity gives him, now he's the one going to his dad saying he wants to do even more shows and bring in even bigger audiences. But that only speeds things up. Without the amulet, Gideon might have gradually gone down that path by himself; and his dad, certainly, would've kept looking for opportunities for Gideon to perform as a child psychic so long as Gideon still seemed like he was having fun with it.
And that, I think, is the saddest part of it: at the start, Gideon was having fun with it. Bud wasn't thinking "I can make money off my kid," he was thinking "wow, my son has a talent. He could be rich and famous before he's a teenager. If he's really lucky, he might be set to retire before he's an adult and the whole family will be financially comfortable; but then if he wants he could keep on performing as an adult. Think of the possibilities! Sold-out theaters! A permanent residency in Vegas!" And even though Bud acted as Gideon's agent, i figure his mom felt the same way.
A parent whose kid REALLY loves gymnastics might get them a gymnastics coach, send them to contests, and if they keep winning, help them train for the Olympics. A parent whose kid REALLY loves singing might record them singing, put their videos online, start talking to agents about helping their kid record an album if some of their videos go viral. Bud's kid REALLY loved performing for an awed audience and all the attention and admiration it got him, so Bud set up more shows, arranged for him to start touring, got a tent, produced merch...
Kids who eagerly dive into Olympic training for a sport they love often have it take over their lives, and when that dream is passed—you're not in Olympic condition forever—many don't know what to do with the rest of their lives and regret pouring everything into one obsession. Kids who go into the entertainment industry for a talent they love are entering a world where the talent is very frequently abused and exploited and everyone's scrambling to try to make a living, and children are even more easy to exploit. A parent can support or even push a child toward making their talent a career, and genuinely think they're doing their child a favor; and it can still be terrible for the child. AND it can still slowly creep into the parents themselves exploiting their child as it becomes easier and easier to just live off their income, even if that wasn't the initial plan.
And by the time Gideon was arrested, his parents had poured so much into his budding career that they need to restart trying to bring in a sufficient income outside of that.
Gideon's career wasn't awful & exploitative from the get go. He was an active participant, he understood (insofar as a child could) what was being asked of him and what he was getting out of it, he liked it, he wanted more. At the peak of the amulet's influence on him and during the months after it broke when its effects still lingered, he was calling the shots, he was in charge. And it's not like the amulet was mind-controlling him; that was Gideon at his worst, but it was still Gideon.
To an extent I think his parents still feel like he's calling the shots. Seeing your child as your breadwinner is a messed up position and somebody needs to shake some sense into his parents, but they didn't end up there deliberately. Like boiling a frog, they ended up there too gradually to notice.
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tomorrowxtogether · 5 months
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TAEHYUN: “TOMORROW X TOGETHER is youth itself”
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TOMORROW X TOGETHER The Name Chapter: FREEFALL comeback interview
2023.10.25
Everything TAEHYUN says eventually circles back to one thing: music. It’s not just what he invests his heart and soul into, but also his primary medium for expressing love, as well as the driving force propelling him forward.
You tried keeping a journal and reading more books earlier this year.
TAEHYUN: That no longer applies though. (laughs) I got busy with work. It felt like a great year, being on tour and everything, but it came with some pressure. I know it’s not possible for someone to be able to give me all the answers to life, but I bought some books anyway, thinking they might at least provide some tips. I guess I’d still be reading if they had any really amazing ones … (laughs) I kept a diary for around one or two months. I usually share my thoughts and feelings to the other members, my friends, and sometimes staff members more than my family. At one point I was struggling emotionally, and I was telling someone on staff about it, but they just went into work mode. (laughs) They told me, “You can get it all out later in lyrical form. It’d be good to sort through it.” So I ended up keeping that diary half because of that and half because I was using my phone too much during the tour.
What sort of things did you write in your diary? Some people simply write down the things that happened that day and some  talk about their feelings and emotions.
TAEHYUN: I mostly write down my thoughts and feelings. Shocking, right? That’s what I usually go for. Then I started to have doubts when every day started to feel the same. I asked the person who recommended that I keep a diary and  they said, “You write the same thing, but each day you feel a little different. You should work through that.” My number one priority is how something makes me think or feel, then I can explain what actually happened. Later on, I can look back and see how I was feeling at the time.
Are you trying anything else new lately?
TAEHYUN: I’m actually laying off things one by one. I’m even taking a little break from exercising and just concentrating on doing what I have to do. I feel like taking a short break here and there means I have more physical and mental capacity when I have to concentrate on my work.
What do you do when you have a little bit of downtime?
TAEHYUN: I had about three days off and I just got back from a trip to Gangwon Province with some friends. I was so happy that it made me worried for the future. I find it stress-relieving to talk about light-hearted, random things and to just say whatever comes to mind without thinking too hard. (laughs)
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Considering how good you are at everything, what kind of things make you nervous?
TAEHYUN: Well, just showing up to the MTV Video Music Awards means having to be totally focused as soon as someone points a microphone at you. (laughs) People ask us questions we’re not expecting on the red carpet, and Kai and I were more nervous for that than our performance. For Lollapalooza Chicago also, we were super focused since we had to pull off various media promotions at the same time.
But then you have to fully immerse yourself in the performance that follows, right? Like in songs such as “Thursday’s Child Has Far To Go” where you have to be full of energy.
TAEHYUN: I just get totally swept up in it all. (laughs) The thing I was so thankful for at Lollapalooza is that the audience was absolute perfection. They were more excited for “Blue Spring” than we expected, so we really were working together with them to make that performance what it was. It’s not like I try to get to that place on stage—it just happens. When I’m up there, I get full of main character energy. (laughs) For a song like “Thursday’s Child Has Far To Go,” it’s not like anyone tells me to do that—I just get so into it that I end up doing things like spraying my water bottle around. There’s no other experience like it. Nine times out of 10, I perform just like I planned, but for songs like that, it’s completely different from how I rehearse it. If the audience reacts well when I go wild, I think, Do I really have to stick to the plan, or can I do whatever I want? (laughs) But I still make sure not to cross a line.
With all that in mind, how did you feel about the carefully planned-out performance of “Back for More (with Anitta)” at the VMAs?
TAEHYUN: I think it was a bold move since that live performance was the first time anyone had heard the song. I wasn’t nervous on the actual day, but I was while practicing. After BEOMGYU does the intro, I have to sing “When I’m with you,” and I was repeating the words, “When I’m,” inside my head, like, 20 times. (laughs) What I wanted was for the audience to be reminded of Michael Jackson. The intonation was similar, and I even ad-libbed in a similar way, and I was hoping the dance moves would remind people of him, too.
What is it about Michael Jackson that you think’s so alluring?
TAEHYUN: When people talk about Michael Jackson, they usually talk about how he dances, but for me, it’s all about his vocals. I think every song he sang in, from his days with the Jackson 5 right until his last release, all show an unbelievable amount of skill. So I thought over how I could sound equally enticing. I was focused on being energetic while still getting the intonation just right.
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I feel like you would have had to use a variety of different vocal styles for the songs off your latest album. Some of the songs are more straightforward, American-style pop, but others have a subtle, more nuanced feeling.
TAEHYUN: I felt like it went the smoothest of all our albums, at least as far as recording the vocals was concerned. Not only are we a lot better, but we’ve also worked with our producers a lot, so it’s a lot faster now. I fully interpreted the songs first, but my vocals were kind of lagging behind what I had envisioned. (laughs) It was frustrating because I couldn’t sing what I was imagining, but eventually my vocals caught up, making things easier for sure. I gave a lot of thought about my vocals and came up with two requirements. One is to practice finding what I call healthy vocals. We have a set list of over 20 songs that we do dozens of times, and if I want to be in the same good condition to perform it, finding healthier vocals is going to be better in the long run, I think. And now that I’m getting better at conveying the same kind of nuances live that I’m able to do while recording, I want to perfect it.
How is it you’re always able to make those kinds of judgment calls and keep on improving?
TAEHYUN: First I think about what I’m not good at, then what I am good at. I work on what I’m not good at, and when I feel tired out, I practice what I am good at. That’s how I do it. I think I have to acknowledge things first to overcome them and improve. And I think I know better than anyone else exactly what I’m not good at. I feel like anyone would have a way better chance of improvement if they don’t try to fool themselves. It’s similar to what we’re saying on “Chasing That Feeling,” I think.
Like “Chasing That Feeling,” you’re facing things head-on rather than avoiding them.
TAEHYUN: People all say, “if you can’t avoid it, enjoy it,” but I’m not like that. (laughs) I’m more like, “if you can’t enjoy it, just grin and bear it.” So I think I was able to relate to the song. You know, there’s lots of times when you know what you want to do but you just can’t get your body to move. I think that’s the “feeling” the song is talking about that you might feel but when you still have to work toward the things you have to do.
The message, music, and choreography of the single are a little different from what you’ve done before. How did you go about interpreting that?
TAEHYUN: I couldn’t actually picture the choreography after I heard the song, but I feel like the dance gave the song its persuasion and emotion. There’s parts where we run, chase after something, reach out, and act like we’re in pain. We got the choreography, practiced it, reviewed the video, and I think that helped me understand the intended direction better. The album’s about coming down to Earth, so naturally it was always going to be a little harsher and more challenging, but it’s still about moving forward. I feel like the single really encapsulates the story of the whole album. It was amazing because it felt like it could apply to people from all walks of life.
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Are there any songs off the album that you really related to?
TAEHYUN: I’m not sure if this counts as relating, but, as you know, we have a complex backstory now. There’s some lyrics that really capture how we got to where we are today in “Happily Ever After”: “Oh my God / The ending is unknown / Life is not a fairy tale.” Up until now, we’ve been more like a fairy tale, and I like how it’s about the past, present, and future all in one song—like, Now that I’ve come down to the real world, I know life’s not a fairy tale, but it’s still a beautiful thing because I can’t see an inch in front of my face and there’s no saying what I’ll find at the end. That’s where I’m headed.
Speaking of which, where do you feel TOMORROW X TOGETHER is at right now?
TAEHYUN: I’d say this latest album is a major turning point. Sure, we’ve always been relatable, but I feel like we’ve never handled those topics in a realistic way. Now it’s all about coming down to Earth. I think we’ll get more comfortable with the process of taking the things we need to and will say and putting them into lyrics. It feels like my life story and what TOMORROW X TOGETHER sings about will overlap more and more as time goes on.
What direction do you ultimately hope to pursue in music?
TAEHYUN: I’m not set in stone on that yet.. (laughs) I’ve always liked a lot of different kinds of music, but lately I’m trying to listen to music that’s touching and easy on the ears. I mostly listen to songs that have good vocals and lyrics—especially those with compelling lyrics.
For example?
TAEHYUN: Off the top of my head? “Good News” off Mac Miller’s album Circles. I was inspired by and found a lot of comfort in that song and the whole album when I was having a hard time. So I gave YEONJUN a copy of it on vinyl for his birthday this year. I still feel melancholy whenever I listen to “Good News.” I have a T in my MBTI, but it makes me feel like my powers of empathy just skyrocket. (laughs) “So tired of being so tired”—I love those lyrics.
Sometimes music is a source of stress for you, but music is also what helps you get rid of your stress.
TAEHYUN: Isn’t it ironic? But music itself doesn’t really give me much stress, actually. I feel like the sweat and tears that go into the process of making music and choreography makes me feel alive. Yes, I can get stressed out from other things, but music takes care of that.
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When you look way down to the end of the road you’re on, what do you see?
TAEHYUN: Hopefully the quality of my work will go up over time to the point that I’m at a level where I can move people after just a second with me. Lots of things can move a person, but for me, I’m especially moved when I witness great art. I was moved when I saw Jung Kook’s choreography video for the song “3D” recently. He’s got an aura all his own. He’s the GOAT, hands down. (laughs) Every move he makes across every bar of the song just oozes cool and nuance. It’s like, What did I just watch? What am I listening to? I had to watch it again. I think that’s what it means to be moving.
Everything you say circles back to music. I know you have goals as a group, but do you have any personal dreams of your own?
TAEHYUN: I’m happy when it shows how much effort I put into something, even if only slightly. And those are the dreams I can make come true fairly soon. Anyway, they’re all related to work. (laughs) I think that’s what keeps me moving forward. If I practice without being asked sometimes and suddenly I can pull off things I had trouble with before, then later doing things that someone tells me to do becomes more enjoyable, too.
What’s your take on the pressure you feel when you’re doing that and you come up against something difficult?
TAEHYUN: I just deal with it. I always use the expression “get it done” because it feels more like I’m achieving something. Just saying I’m “doing it” makes me feel like I’m being told to do it and there’s no sense of accomplishment there. (laughs) So I try to focus on the concept of getting things done when I’m asked. I think all the other members feel similarly. We all say, “We got it done.” (laughs) When someone says, “This is hard” then I get comforted when someone says “Yes, it is supposed to be hard,” or “It is hard and I’m having trouble too.”
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Sometimes I can tell how much you value the other members for working and weathering together.
TAEHYUN: I think people can tell that I’m kind to people I really care about. (laughs) There’s MOA, of course. And the other members, and the people on staff, and that’s pretty much it. Some people who have worked with me and got to know the real me might see me and think, He’s trying his hardest. (laughs)I always try my best to be sweet, warm, and friendly.
You also purposely go out as far out as you can on the stage for the fans, and you remember dates for things like concert ticket raffles.
TAEHYUN: I find it harder to put things into words, but I’m usually okay at showing them, so that explains why I use actions instead of words. I always try to be attentive and caring. I also try to put my ideas into words like, Well, what if we tried doing it a little more like this?
It seems like the way you pour yourself into your work is your own kind of love language. You showed your thanks for MOA by borrowing the title of an article, “Musical perseverance pays off,” when giving your speech after a number one during your previous promotional period. What are you hoping to convey to MOA through the music on your new album?
TAEHYUN: Whenever we release an album, I hope that lots of people are able to relate to it. The new album tries to empathize with things that don’t get talked about much, so it should fill people with strength. I hope it does, anyway. I hope people can find some consolation in the lyrics. Because it’s not really things they would talk with other people about. (laughs) What I mean is, we don’t tend to talk to people about getting around to acknowledging and accepting things. I know I need to get this done fast, but I’m really deceiving myself and others about it. The music recognizes that process. At the same time, it says we’ve been there before too, so just chase that feeling. I hope it helps people out in some small way.
It sounds like this album really has the power to console.
TAEHYUN: Indeed.Because TOMORROW X TOGETHER is youth itself. That’s why we’re conveying such stories.
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keitaberry · 5 months
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Hiii, could I ask a baxter with a stylist/actor MC?
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Cute dog for bribery
((the dog is like the cherry on top for this ask, reminds me of my own husky :3
also i have really good ideas for both a stylist and an actor so this is gonna be actor mc and ill make stylist mc its own post ! itll also be its own post cause this one became so long hgiasdfuseugw ))
step 3 baxter x actor!mc
-spoilers for baxter dlc !-
🔲 he first meets you when he goes to see the live performance at the bar
🔲 you were starring as the dramatic popstar, failing to hide their feelings for the bartender . your best friend is tired of the obvious pining between the two of you and incites the help of the audience to get them together
🔲 baxter is immediately entranced with your performance . the way you walked, talked, your outfit, your natural beauty . hes one of the few audience members that are interacted with, and took the chance to be the one to hand you the bouquet
🔲 he tamped down the rising feeling of jealousy as he had to say that it was from the bartender . it was merely a play, wasnt it?
🔲 the rest of the show went off without a hitch, and you and your costars bowed at the end
🔲 after the performance and a couple more drinks (merely fake drinks of course), he noticed that you were slumped over at the bar, the man you acted as your friend chatting amicably at the bartender
🔲 curious, he made his way over to you, asking if you were alright . the pretend bartender merely laughed at his concern, saying "ah dont worry about ol mc! theyre always wiped out after the performance but they are quite alright"
🔲 you took that time to lift your head up, glaring at the bartender before looking at baxter with a curious smile .
🔲 "ah, youre the one who handed me the bouquet. you did well, i like your hair"
🔲 baxter had mental whiplash with how relaxed and seemingly tired you were, despite your character having so much emotion
🔲 despite that, the two of you talked more, with occasional quips from the other two actors
🔲 he learned you were merely a year younger than him and had a part time acting gig here , but youve acted in school plays and musicals since you were in elementary school. the two of you hit it off, talking until he had to leave so they could close up for the nifht
🔲 he left the bar that night with your number and the promise to visit again
🔲 he stuck to that promise, and visited many more times, going to see you perform and talking to you when he can
🔲 he also texted you plenty , despite not being big on texting . he always wished you well before all your shows
🔲 the two of you even began to hang out outside of you performing, sightseeing the city and sunset bird, going to a lodge for a mini vacation and even introducing him to cove, terry and miranda . it was the funniest coincidence that he rented the condo in your neighborhood, and you two just missed out on seeing each other until now
🔲 he was excited to be included in your life, even if you two met on a whim . he knew however that his time in sunset bird would end soon and this would be behind him soon .
🔲 the end of summer was... hard . for baxter especially, he knew that he would leave eventually and all this would be is a slew of memories to be forgotten when he returns to virginia .
🔲 why bother to maintain the friendship when he knew it would have to end soon? forget about his growing affection for you, he couldnt bring himself to maintain a friendship, let alone tell you how he feels about you
🔲 he knew it would only hurt you in the end, so he kept quiet.
🔲 you were nothing but caring and kind towards him though . helping him pack, ensuring he didnt forget anything and keeping him company one last time
🔲 "well i suppose this is it. i hope you had a wonderful time in sunset bird baxter" you say as you give him a hug goodbye
🔲 this confused him . didnt you know he'd never talk to you again, that this was the last youd ever see of him ? he figured youd be distraught but you were simply acting like he would come back after a couple of days . he voiced this to you
🔲 "ive acted almost my entire life . people will come and go and ive learned that i cant control the people that stay in my life ." he saw the tears in your eyes now. despite what you were saying, its clear you were hurting . he didnt know how to feel about that
🔲 "be safe and break a leg out there baxter . "
🔲 that was the last time he heard from you, and it hurt him deeply . you never tried reaching out, but neither did he . he couldnt bear to see what you were up to on social media, the thought of seeing you again confused and hurt him
🔲 5 years past, and he slowly let that feeling go . he followed you on social media, saw how your talent was finally noticed and you began
🔲 he did his absolute best to keep track of everything you starred in, from movies to musicals and plays
🔲 if you were in a musical: he would buy or download the entire soundtrack and listen to it constantly
🔲 if you starred in a tv show or movie: he would binge it constantly, and it would automatically be his favorite
🔲 of course, hed watch as you went to premieres and red carpet events, dressed to the nines and blowing everyone away
🔲 his apartment would be littered in merchandise of you, along with characters youve played . anyone who sees his collection would think hes really into the character but its just because you played the character
🔲 his office is much more subtle, having a cup with a quote from your first ever major role on it, used to hold pens
🔲 seeing you again was purely coincidence . his work mates invited baxter out to see a local comedy show
🔲 had he not been so occupied with planning a big wedding, he wouldve known that you were in the area performing with friends in a small comedy show
🔲 seeing you walk on stage to perform had baxters world stopping . he felt like the only people in the world were you and him
🔲 you made eye contact with him, and for a moment he thought you didnt see him until he noticed that your smile became brighter and you suddenly looked more relaxed yet excited to see him
🔲 his heart was pounding throughout the entire performance . he had seen you act before, but it was always a different experience when seeing it in person and seeing you act here and now was no different
🔲 after the performance, baxter downright abandoned his coworkers as he made his way backstage towards you
🔲 you made eye contact with him and rushed over to him, hugging him like he would disappear the moment you let go
🔲 "you're here, it's really you . " you whispered, tears in your eyes
🔲 the last 5 years have been busy for you . shortly after baxter left sunset bird a talent agent had scouted you and your acting career took off
🔲 you would constantly travel or be busy acting and when you werent doing either, you were with your family or hiding from the paparazzi
🔲 but you never forgot him, and now he was right here in front of you . your feelings from him came flooding back in waves . you never had the courage to tell him how you felt before, but now you have the chance and you weren't gonna let him get away so easily
🔲 so you kissed him
🔲 he was initially surprised by the action, but couldnt help but return the gesture as well . it felt like the kiss raised several questions and answered everything
🔲 of course, baxter had to return to his coworkers, but he returned with you . they joked about him running off and congratulated you two on the newfound relationship
🔲 your fans would obviously have mixed reactions . the majority of your fans were extremely happy for you two, but there were always going to be haters
🔲 not that you minded, thats how it always was . baxter was there for you and thats what mattered
🔲you do your best to stay around and help him with weddings if needed . if you couldnt then he'd call and ask for your opinions or send pictures of his ideas
🔲 you would try to stay with him as much as possible, taking more local roles in the city or any neighboring cities but you'd have to take bigger roles once in a while
🔲 he'd support you endlessly, sending you encouraging texts and reminders to take breaks when necessary
🔲 you two attending premieres and red carpet events would blow everyone away . you occasionally got him to break out of his black and white scheme for these events and wear elegant outfits to stun everyone
🔲 whenever he wants to take you out on dates or out through the town, he totally understands having to disguise himself a bit along with you just so the time wouldn't be ruined by fans or paparazzi
🔲 most dates would end up being spent with home cooked meals or take out and a movie, but that was fine by him . any time with you was good time and worth waiting for
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ilyluffy · 2 years
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𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐞 || 𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you get a little alone time with one of your favourite lead singers after a concert
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: rockstar!gojo satoru x afab!reader
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut/rockstar au (minors + ageless blogs dni!! you’ll be blocked)
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: dom!gojo, power dynamic, casual sex, oral m!receiving, riding, vaginal sex, creampie, consensual panty stealing
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.5k+
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𝐈𝐓 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐁𝐄 𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐋 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐒𝐎 𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐎𝐔𝐒. your heart flutters in your chest when he lowers his signature black sunglasses to look down at you with those enchanting blue eyes from up on the stage. with you being in the front row it isn’t hard for gojo to spot you in the crowd but you can’t help but feel special for being noticed.
gojo satoru was the lead singer in your favourite band. so naturally when he sent you a cheeky wink when he noticed you in between songs, you thought you’d faint. you were definitely going to owe nobara big time for getting you the tickets to this show because so far this was the best night of your life.
little did you know things were just going to get crazier from there. when the concert ended you had intentions of heading out to an after party but your plans changed when one of the venue's security guards approached you. for a second you thought you were in trouble but instead you were surprised when he informed you that you got a backstage pass.
a chance to meet the musician you adored? now how could you turn down an opportunity like that. so you follow the security guard not backstage but to the bands tour bus. for anyone else that would have been the first red flag.
you weren’t stupid. you kept up with everything having to do with gojo and his band so you knew all too well about the rumours of him being a whore and a player. with this in mind you do hesitate to climb into the tour bus but this hesitation only lasts for half a second.
throwing all rational out the window, you jump into the vehicle. you half expect to see other members of the band inside but they’re nowhere to be seen. the only presence is gojo’s, who’s patiently waiting for you with a smirk.
“there you are. and here i thought i was going to have to get someone fired if you didn’t show up” gojo chuckled. “enjoy the concert, sweetheart?”.
you’re too stunned to talk for a while. all you can do is stare at him with wide eyes. was this real? holy shit it was totally real and you were definitely embarrassing yourself by not saying anything. realizing this you spit out the words. “oh my god, i-i’m a really big fan”.
“i can tell” gojo laughs, pointing at your t-shirt. the piece of fabric has his face on it. you bought it before the show but completely forgot about it until he mentioned it. feeling suddenly shy, you trying hiding the graphic with your arms as if he hadn’t already got a hard long glimpse at it. this only seems to amuse gojo even more. “aren’t you cute. hey, c’mere”.
he motions for you to walk closer to him so you do. he’s sitting on a small leather sofa, long legs spread out wide. before long you’re standing in between them with hot cheeks. gojo only makes it worse when he opens his mouth again. “you said you were a fan of mine, huh? how big?”.
“the biggest!” you replied without thinking.
satoru snickers at this. “really? so you’d do anything to make your favourite idol happy, right?”. when you nod your head gojo knows he has you wrapped around his finger. “then get on your knees, pretty. we both know you want to suck it”.
your breath hitches at his words but you don’t make a break for it either. no, you sink down to the floor just as he instructed. it’s true. you do want to. this was any groupie’s dream. with nervous hands, you reach for satoru’s belt to start undoing it.
it was too easy for him at this point. at every single performance gojo was always able to pick out the one in the audience who he knew he’d get what he wanted from. you were just the latest selection. however, even he has to admit you’re probably the prettiest to date. those doe eyes that look up at him once you free his cock from his black jeans fills him with an excitement he hasn’t felt since he became famous.
“you know what to do. don’t be shy” gojo urges smugly. “wrap that cute mouth of yours around it”.
the desire you have to please him takes over your movements and suddenly you’re kitten licking his tip. he’s really long so it’s a struggle to take gojo’s length into your mouth but you do, stroking the rest that you can’t fit once.
a mix of what sounds like a moan and a laugh echoes from gojo’s throat as you gag on all he has to offer. “f-fuck, i knew as soon as i saw you that you’d be good at giving head” gojo sneers as spit dribbles down your chin and on to his face printed on your shirt. “you really are a good fan. you’d be an even better one though if you swallowed all my cum”.
humming as best you can, you bob your head. one of gojo’s large hands lands on the back of your head to guide you. pride fills your heart when you feel that gojo’s close. if you thought he’d give you the courtesy of knowing when he was going to finish you were wrong. swirling your tongue around him one last time, gojo blows his load down your throat. you’re surprised for a moment but remembering what he said before, you eagerly swallow everything he gave you.
“shit, that was good” gojo sighs as you pull his dick out of your mouth and open wide so he can see that there’s nothing left. “you know, normally i would have you leave but since you’re such a supportive fan i think i’ll reward you with more than just sucking me off”.
patting his lap, gojo helps you to your feet without standing up himself. taking the hint you straddle him. pushing the cute little skirt you have on up your thighs, gojo grabs your waist so he can guide your clothed cunt along his cock.
“what do you say baby? want my cock in you? ‘course you do” gojo answers for you. who wouldn’t want his cock? he hasn’t had anyone deny him yet. there was no doubt in gojo’s mind that you weren’t going to be any different and he liked it that way.
lifting you up, gojo pushes your panties to the side before aiming his tip at your hole that’s desperately wet. “be good and take all of me, yeah?” gojo hisses as he sinks you down onto his cock. “shit- that’s right. so tight” gojo throws his head back, his white hair sticking to his forehead.
whining as you try to get used to his side, you’re a little surprised that gojo gave you time to adjust. you repay him for this small show of mercy by eventually bouncing on his cock without satoru having to ask. “there you go. so good for me” gojo praises, hands still gripping your sides.
he’s obsessed with the ways your thighs jiggle as you ride him. if gojo wasn’t convinced before he certainly was now, he picked a good one. gojo could usually go on for a while but he was feeling his end approach sooner than he thought it would.
“making a mess all over me,” gojo moaned. your juices are coating your thighs and his pants. it’s deliciously nasty. “gonna make a mess of your pussy too. want my cum inside you?”.
your brain is telling you to shake your head but this is gojo satoru who asked. being filled with his cum should be an honour. too dazed to give the rational part of your mind any attention, you give gojo a broken “yes”. “y-yes, i want it. please give it to me”.
satoru is happy to oblige once he has permission. telling you to cum along with him, gojo thrusts up into you and uses his fingers to toy with your puffy clit to help you along. the coil in your stomach snaps and mere seconds after you do gojo is marking his territory by shooting his seed deep inside.
“nice job, sweetheart” gojo coos, pulling his cock out of you once he comes down from his high. he helps you climb off of his lap and despite your legs being wobbly, you stand in front of him as you wait for your next order. “i would love for you to stick around longer but my bandmates should be coming back soon,” gojo explains, tucking his dick back in his jeans. “you know where the exit is”.
you should feel used but with the amazing orgasm you just had, you’re in too much of a haze to be insulted. waddling toward the door of the tour bus, gojo calls out all of a sudden to stop you. “wait a sec”.
turning back to him, gojo gets up from his spot to walk to your side. not saying a single thing, satoru tugs your panties down and slips them off your legs. “figured since you were leaving with a souvenir i should get one of my own” gojo grins cockily, stuffing your underwear in his pocket. “𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄 𝐈 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐓”.
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2022 © saecore — do not repost or translate my work. likes, reblogs, and comments are welcome
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writerofadream · 3 months
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Fortune favors the Bold ⛓
TDI!Duncan x Juvie Bestfriend! Reader ⛓
Chapters Eight: Talent? Where? Certainly not here.
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Chris had gathered you all in a amphitheatre. You and Duncan sat by Tyler. "Welcome to our brand-new-deluxe state of the art amphitheatre." Chris announced on the stage.
It very clearly was not any of that.
"Okay this weeks challenge is a sumer camp favorite... a talent contest!" Chris pointed out into the audience, and Courtney almost immeadiately looked at Duncan and you. You both clearly had some acrobatic talent, and definetely were the fittest people in the Killer Bass cabin.
"Each cabin has eight hours to choose their three most talented campers. These three will represent them in the show tonight. You can sing, dance, juggle. Anything goes as long as it's legal." He gave you and Duncan an extra hard glare and you groaned.
"Darn." Duncan laughed.
"You will be judged by our resident talent scout. Former D.J, V.J, and rap legend Grand Master Chef who will show his aprovall via the Chef-O-Meter." Chris explained.
Chris then began his whole speech about whoever lost would have to send a camper home, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Your team left the pavilion to go back to the cabins. Duncan and you flipped onto your hands walking as you talked about some type of gun absent-mindly to each other. Your cabin mates watched you with amazement.
Courtney had Chef Hatchet set up some trapeze equipment for you and Duncan to showcase your skills much to Duncan's dismay. They started off with Sadie and Katie showcasing their 'skills'.
Then Tyler and his 'yo-yo' magic. Then it was D.J and Geoff, also known as the ballerina and skater-boy. Then Courtney made you and Duncan try out. "Just do something acrobatic." She ordered pointing at the trapeze set above you.
"Let's shower her 'acrobatic'." Duncan smirked and suddenly you were running at him causing your cabin to gasp. You jumped into the air, jumping onto his shoulders, before jumping again grabbing the trapeze bar and as you jumped Duncan grab your ankle propelling himself upwards as well.
You flipped Duncan onto the opposing bar and you both began letting go of your bars swinging onto the opposing one causing your team to gasp in fear.
"They're in." Geoff said for Courtney who nodded weakly. Luckily for you Chris counted you both as one person since it was a two man act.
You all were practicing on stage, actually doing quite well.
Bridgette was giving Duncan tips on how to launch you, Katie was helping make sure the bars were dry, Sadie was helping wash Geoff's skateboard but Geoff kept making her laugh so the water was going everywhere.
Then it was showtime.
Justin was up first. (Personally you didn't see the appeal, you thought the green-haired devil next to you looked a lot better, but to each his own.)
Then it was Duncan and you. Your performance went without a hitch because it was something you had done since honest to god you were five years old.
Eleven years ago
"Duncan, honey, you have to wait Y/N isn't here yet." Duncan's mom warned him from her place on the bleachers. Gymnastic's practice was about to start. He was buzzing with excitement. Suddenly he heard footsteps and he turned around just in time to launch you into the set of trapeze bars above him.
Almost as if it was on instinct he grabbed your ankle and your ability to glide through the air propelled him onto the opposing bar and you began to swing on the bars laughing and breathing hard.
There was nothing you loved more thenn being in the air, as free as a bird.
Except maybe each other.
Nothing could touch you up there, no one could hurt you up there. If you got to look at Duncan's carefree smile for the rest of your life up there, you would've stayed up there forever, and be happy.
You fell back onto the ground and bowed. The cheers were loud and you felt a heat crawl up your cheeks. It had been a long time for the both of you since you performed. He squeezed your hand.
When Duncan stared at you it felt like he was thirteen again crushing on you in middle school.
-----
|Trending on X right now|
#greatestshowmanirl??
#acrobatstolovers
#thewayhelooksather
#iwantamanlikeduncan
#CONFESSTOHERRR
--------
"Hey, L/N after school you want to spray paint the library," He asked and you nodded laughing. "Hell yes, if I ever answer no to that question feel free to shoot me."
There was no way he crushing again, on his best friend, who he treated like shit a good solid 80% of the time. But it was okay because he was imagining having a crush on you again...
Right??
RIGHT!?!
Chef Hatchet gave it a 9/10 much to the other team's dislike. Your team roared.
D.J sadly failed, hard, he tripped on his ribbon and Chef Hatchet gave it a 2/10. Then Trent went and he sang a song obviously for Gwen. Then Heather went reading Gwen's diary aloud which was fucking wild but you know, whatever.
Geoff got very bad stage fright and had a panic attack back stage, so Harold got up...
Then he started beatboxing...
and was good....
I know, I'm as surprised as you are.
"Holy shit am I high?" Duncan asked you quietly. "...Am I high is the better question." You whispered because seriously, what the fuck was happening right now.
Grand Master Chef declared Harold the winner... honestly you couldn't blame him. The crowd roared with applause.
The Screaming Gophers lost again tonight and that made you extraordinarily happy. Until you find out what the challenge is next week...
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aliusworld · 1 month
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REL:LY / Magic Words / LSG ✶
Aqua Hoshino x Reader
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This is PART THREE, check out other parts in the link below!
REQUIEM: Sixth New Genesis!
What's to come: [Reader likes both genders], [Aqua x Reader], [Akane x Reader]
[Songs of the chapter: "MANNEQUIN" by Deco*27, "Parasol Cider" by Nanahoshi Orchestra, "Nonsense Bungaku" by Eve]
[7,531 words]
It's been a few days since the video was posted. Multiple news websites were talking about it, people online were harassing others about it, even people in real life were talking about it. Even though Akane doesn't want to be the face of the news so soon, it's shining a better light on her. She is a victim of the internet and she'll never have that innocence back, but she's a lot better now.
Akane has been showing up on set more often now, you cling onto her like there's no tomorrow when she stays. Honestly, when she first came back, you swear you could feel your eyes watering, but that isn't important. What is: is that Aqua gave Akane an important suggestion. "Try acting, be someone who you aren't to protect yourself. Separate this show from your real self." It really wasn't something you agreed with, but if it would keep Akane happy and safe, you'd be okay with it.
"It's really all your choice, Akane." You perked up, leaning against Akane's shoulder glaring at Aqua, "Don't think about the audience when you make this decision. I know they're important or whatever, but you are too!"
"I think it's a pretty good idea and I am good at acting, but... what— who should I act as?" Akane asked, tilting her head to the side you were opposite to. Aqua stared out, not giving her a response. "Ahem. [name], what do you think?" Akane shifted her head to face you as you stopped leaning on her shoulder, before you could respond, Akane kept going. "What's your type?"
Your face turned red as your eyes widened under your mask. All eyes were on you, including the people filming. You choke on your words before letting them slip, "M-My ty-t... type..?" You bit your lip, did you even have a type? The only person you've ever fallen for was... Hanae. You caught yourself before you accidentally said her name. Roaming around your mind, you realized how similar Akane and Hanae really were. What differences did they even really have? Hanae was more conservative and less obsessive, then again, people had more of a life outside social media, didn't they? You shake your head after another minute of pondering, "This isn't helpful at all but... *I think you being yourself in all of your 'Akane-ness' is my type."
"You're lying..." Akane blushed, jolting her head to look at the floor, "How could you say that? Even after all I've put you through..— Hm! N-Nevermind..!" Akane took a deep breath in and put her arm around your shoulder, "A-Aqua! What about you? You did save me too after all, I think I can do this for you. As a thanks." You stared at Aqua, is Akane just going to ignore your super-extra-cute confession? You pout under your mask and lean closer into her. Aqua better have a good answer. "So... What's your type, Aqua?"
"Hm..? You're really serious with that question?" Aqua looked a little shocked, he sighed and looked out the window, "I never really thought of that, I guess." He rested his cheek to the palm of his hand and started thinking. "My type... I guess my type is someone who's pretty."
"Go to hell!" You mutter half jokingly.
"Keep going Aqua!" Akane said, pulling out her notepad and pen. Staring at him with her pretty blue eyes.
"Someone who can smile as bright as the sun, and performs without a fault. Assertive behavior and speech... Captivating eyes that can draw you in with one glance..."
"You're telling me you've never thought of your type before? Hah, what a stupid lie." You half-heartedly joke as you shake your head back and forth, "Come to think of it, a pretty girl who works hard... kind of sounds like Ai from B-Komachi, doesn't it?" Aqua's eyes widened for a split second before calming down quickly, his lips forming words, but you couldn't hear it at all.
"Ai? I've heard of her... I'll research her the best I can: I'll be your girl, Aqua!" Akane said with glee, writing down the name in her notepad while putting it back down on the table next to her. She turned back to you and smiled, "And what you said [name]... I.. Mm, thank you."
You leaned onto her shoulder as Aqua stared at the two of you. His eyes were dark. Did no one else notice that at all?
˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚
You were back on set today, another week passed by without any progress on finding Hanae. You were inside a classroom, the sun was bright, Aqua sat directly next to you. Couldn't he have found another chair? You'd been sitting next to him the entire school week, your head plopped down into your arms as time passed by slower than usual.
Aqua didn't say anything when he sat next to you, the camera's were on, glaring onto your face. Still, you didn't feel the urge to act or put on a show. This was just life, for you at least.
...
When's Akane getting here?
Just as you thought that, footsteps could be heard from behind the doorway. You got excited, getting back up and impatiently staring in anticipation for Akane to enter.
It was just Mem and Yuki. Ah, well that's fine. Maybe you should go hang out with them? Before you could get up from your seat, the two girls had already come over. Not to you specifically, but towards your general direction. Their real target was Aqua.
"How's it going, Aqu-tan?" Memcho slyly asks, sitting on the desk in front of him, "I overheard that... you have a type??!"
"Yah, and I heard it was pretty basic too! All you care about is looks, am I right? All boys are the same! It's about time you morph into a man!" Yuki says, bursting out laughing after.
"Who told you that?" Aqua asks, deadpanned, he doesn't seem mad or concerned.
"How silly of you, Aqu-tan! I said we overheard!" Mem laughed, you forgot you told her about the 'conversation' you and Akane had with him. "I also heard that Akane was acting for you? That's so totally weird! Why would you do that to that poor girl?"
"Yeah Aqua! You totally suck! All you care about is looks!!" Yuki adds in, you nod your head to their conversation... When is Akane going to come back?
Begrudgingly you continue to watch everything unfold before you as you lean on your arm. All you could think about was Akane.
...When did the two of you get so close?
That's when the door slid open again: It was Akane!
The door was wide open, she didn't enter though. She patiently waited for the cameras to pan to her. Akane I bailed deeply before closing her eyes, when her eyes opened back up she was a completely different person. Her 'aura' changed.
She reminded you exactly of Ai.
You guessed that Aqua noticed too because he was just as shocked as you were, maybe even more. Akane's eyes were different, they looked just like Ai's too— no, they looked just like yours. Just a different color. Was this seriously all just acting? How could someone just change their entire vibe like that?
"What's wrong you all?" Akane asked, looking at everyone present, "It's almost like you've seen a ghost!"
"A-Akane? Is that really you?" Yuki asks, understandably a bit taken back, "You seem so... different...?"
"Do you dislike this part of me, Yuki?" Akane asked, tilting her head to the left. Yuki shook her head while she waddled back towards the two boys who just walked in. "So, how about we hang out all on our own today, Aqua?"
You felt a pang of sadness when Akane said that. Why Aqua? Why not you? You don't blame her though, Aqua is quite handsome, isn't he?
You shove your head back into your arms as the room fell silent. Aqua and Akane left the room together with a group of camera people following them. Was all your hard work for nothing? Did Akane not like you? Did she really like Aqua more than you? Aqua is just so... off putting. But she's never been under his stares for days on end has she?
Aqua totally likes her now, doesn't he?
Why does that make you a little sad?
˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚
For the next few days of shooting, Aqua was all over Akane. Though, you weren't out of it the entire time. You and Akane still had moments together, and it was really enjoyable. It felt really familiar, but you couldn't really put your finger on it.
Then it came to the last day on set. Everyone knew that the last episode was all about the cast members confessing to each other. You didn't plan on doing anything, there was an uneven amount so it was bound to happen, a fail on the casting director honestly, but you aren't going to complain. You'd rather not have manic fans asking about your love life while streaming, and if you were going to confess to anyone: It'd be Akane, and she's currently preoccupied with Aqua.
The sky turned dark and the sun started to set, you sat down on a bench as the crew started to gather around. The contestants lined themselves up and discreetly discussed with each other on who picks who. It's usually the boys going for the ladies, isn't it? You could guess who would go with who.
"Alright, is everyone set?" The director asks, casting a glance towards the people working with the lights and cameras.
"Yes sir!" The higher up yelled back.
"Action!"
The air seemed tense, somehow. No one was up to the challenge of going first. You kept to yourself, watching through your mask. Was it figurative or real because it was getting a little harder to breathe as each minute went past.
Noboyuki bit the bullet and went over to Yuki. He got on his knee and poured out his feelings to her, it was honestly kind of cute. She said no though. You didn't actually understand it at all, Yuki said she liked him, so why'd she reject him?
Then it was Kenji, who knew he'd go next— not like there were a lot of options, but still. He went up to Memcho of all people, didn't expect that either. They were so different, so it was kind of a shock to no one when Mem rejected him.
Lastly, it was Aqua's turn. He was standing between you and Akane, his eyes glanced towards you for a split second before he slowly walked towards Akane. She was sitting underneath a tree on one of the other benches, his hand traveled up to her face and brushed a lock of her blue hair out of the way.
Their faces drew closer and closer together, lips barely an inch apart.
Aqua's eyes shut and Akane brought her hand up.
Right before their lips connected, Akane brought a hand up between the two of them.
"I'm sorry, Aqua. I just can't do... that." Her eyes didn't have stars in them, "We can still be boy-girl friends, my heart just... it's for someone else."
She quickly got up from her seat. Everyone seemed shocked, you and Aqua were no exception. What was she up to? Akane excused herself and bowed as an apology to Aqua, and also probably the camera, and marched towards you.
"[name]! Will you accept my confession of love?" Akane shouted out, her face was red and her hands were on her thighs.
"H-Huh? What?? Why me?- I mean I would love to and everything but I seriously don't uhm!!" You stutter, your face turned red. Everything was a blur in that moment, you don't really remember too well as to what happened but, Akane slipped your mask away and kissed you underneath it. Her eyes were shut with passion while your eyes were wide open, stars gleaming. You didn't stop it, a kiss takes two people after all.
You were definitely flustered, your eyes wandered to the people in the crowd watching the two of you. Aqua looked shocked, his mouth was wide open, a real sight to behold. The rest of the crew looked almost exactly as surprised as Aqua, was it really that bad?
Or in other words: Would it give this season of Lovenow higher ratings than the rest?
-End of Re_Love:Love_You
Lovenow was a hit with everyone, there weren't as many controversies surrounding you and Akane that you thought they'd be. Which is a good thing, but mildly strange. The two of you decided to make your relationship private, mostly for your sake, not stating whether the two of you were dating or not. On the inside though, Akane decided to stick to just being friends— Just kidding! The two of you are full on dating!
Just kissing again... it was more of a situationship.
On the other hand, a few days after Lovenow ended, it was released to the public that Akane and Aqua were dating! Which made you... jealous. Though honestly you couldn't really place why.
To your dismay, they didn't air the episode of you and Akane sharing a kiss. Instead, they begged Akane and Aqua to re-record the part and act like they were in love. The two agreed reluctantly while you threw a tantrum in your head.
...
Fuck.
You bite your lip as you throw your head onto your pillow, why was Akane so important to you? Not that it matters right now, you have a party to get to. What would look good on you?
It was the Lovenow after-celebration, not something you've ever been to before. You asked Aqua about it since he had one for a past drama he was in, apparently this one is supposed to be less fancy. Just a casual hangout with the cast, an unofficial party! How cute!
You tossed something on and went to meet your friends at the barbeque place you went to last time. It was the same old, same old, even the seating. You were squished in between both Akane and Aqua, even though the two of them were dating. It was awkward to say the least.
"So I heard that Akane and Aqua were dating!" Memcho stated, poking at the freshly cooked meat in front of her, "What made you change your mind, Akane? I thought that you and [alias] really had something special!"
"Huh? Oh! We do! We do, just for [alias]'s sake. They told me that their fans would freak out or something... and that it was for my safety? I don't really understand it all, but if [alias] wants it then I thought I'd do that."
"Oh I see... then what about you Aqua? What did you think?" Memcho asked, turning to look at him.
"I think that it's fine, me and Akane only started dating because so many people were betting on it on social media."
"Ah, so you're no fun. I see." Mem sighed, collecting some bell peppers from the plate in between her and Yuki, "Then what about you, [alias]?"
"...Akane can choose for herself, that's what I think." You were deadpan with your answer, you didn't want to come off as rude though. Is it too late for that? "☆Oh! But seriously, it's all for Akane's safety that we don't get together. As an internet celebrity, I expected you to understand." You said jokingly.
"Ahh! I do! I do! I'm professional in every aspect- not that I'd expect you to understand either! I am your senior after all, aha!" Memcho defensively shouted, laughing with you.
Kenji and *the other guy entered the room with a few more drinks, this hangout session was a lot less fun than the one you all had last time, for you at least. How could you change that though?
The night was coming to an end, everyone said their goodbyes and you tried your best to cling onto Akane as best as you could. She didn't seem any distant than she was in the beginning, but it still felt as if there was a barrier between the two of you. This is Aqua's fault. You groaned as thoughts wandered in and out of your head, you were surrounded by the two blonde's. You never knew Mem lived in your direction.
The walk was really peaceful, you didn't expect that much from Mem. However, the person to break the peace was Aqua.
"Memcho, what's your dream?" Aqua asked, his head poked out from your side to look at the girl beside you.
"My dream? My dream is to be somewhere, be someone. It was really fun being on stage with all you real celebrities. It was almost like being on a stage." Memcho sighed, she twirled her finger in her blonde locks. "I saw how you reacted when Akane acted like Ai, she really captivated you huh? I really miss that about her..."
"You know about B-Komachi?" Aqua asked
"How could people not know about B-Komachi?" You laugh as you put your arms on the back of your head, "Especially after the tragedy, it's a lesson well learned. Ai didn't deserve that at all, she was going to make it to the top of the world."
"Exactly, right? After that I couldn't believe what horrendous thoughts I had! Even after what happened and what was yet to come, I still wanted to become an idol." Mem looked at the ground before rising up with a smile, "That's all behind me now, I believe in myself, and I'm sure that I'm someone's idol— at least, I'm sure there are hundreds of people looking up to me."
"The two of you really like B-Komachi?" Aqua asked, putting a hand to his chin, "What about you [alias]? Have you ever thought about being an idol?"
"An idol?" You thought about your second life, you weren't even an idol yet. And in this life, you already had a plan set for yourself. You didn't need to go down that path, but you never were an idol before.. What are you even on about? "Oh? I guess I have, but who hasn't in this day and age?"
"Then what would you think about joining the second coming of B-Komachi? Strawberry Productions is trying out the whole idol thing again." Aqua said, putting on a soft smile. It looked weird. "We're friends, aren't we? I think that I know you two well enough to trust that you'll be great idols and won't tarnish the name of Ai." He's acting so strange.
"What?! Oh em gee! It would be an honor!!" Mem agreed happily, "Though, I would need to speak with someone who actually knows what they're doing, make sure it isn't too shady."
"Yeah, if the contract is okay I'll think about it."
"Right, you've been to my home before. Just follow me."
˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚
You've been in Aqua's home before, but never this up close. You got to see his mother and sister again, they're really cute. Another thing to add was that his 'house' is a lot larger than yours. What was the word for it? It was a studio apartment while yours was a small crummy apartment your mom left you when she moved back to her home country. You really never realized how big it was.
"Ah, so you've brought another one for me. You're really good at this whole recruiting thing, aren't you?" The pink haired woman grumbled, "How'd you manage to snag this one? A YouTuber and full-time influencer?" She shifted her gaze to look at you, "And a faceless internet celebrity and singer. I'm surprised that either of you were interested in becoming idols."
"It was a dream of mine ever since I was a child, ma'am." A drop of sweat rolled off of Mem's face as she spoke to the director.
"Well the two of you are independent streamers so there aren't any managers I need to talk to?"
"I am independent in it of itself, but I do have a team working for me in the background surrounding legal advice and finances, so I believe that I would have to check in with them before I make any hasty decisions." You say, gripping at your lower forearm, you really didn't want to experience another death so soon. You haven't met Hanae yet... and everything regarding the industry is much more safe, isn't it? So no falling lights.
"Once you get a concrete answer, there won't be any problem regarding Internet personalities, we at Strawberry Productions work with them on a daily basis, but you Memcho. You look like you have something to say."
Memcho was lying about her age. By 7 whole years. You tried your best to suppress a few giggles to slip out from your mouth, but then she poured her heart out about what inspired her, made her keep pushing, and what blocked her from getting any farther. At that point, you felt bad for almost laughing.
"So by the time I was financially stable, I was already over the prime age from any idol to debut..." Mem sighed as she looked down at the ground, fiddling with her fingers. Before anyone else could and then Aqua's sister barged into the room.
"No one is too old to be an idol!" She shouted, jumping on top of Mem with a hug, "Every age is idol age, that's what Ai would say!! Are you really going to join me in B-Komachi?!!" She looked over to you and smiled as bright as the sun, "And you! The one that Aqua totally def-likes-because-why-else-would-he-invite-someone-as-cool-as-you to our house, are you going to join us too!?"
"I'm thinking about it, but I'm sure that you'd all do well without me!" You say, ignoring the parts that she said too quickly for you to understand.
"But you're just so talented!! You can sing so well and you'd be such an amazing addition to B-Komachi!" She shouted out, "Oh! My name is Ruby Hoshino, please remember my name even though you are so ultra-amazingly-famous-celebrity!"
"Th-Thank you, ☆I'm sure you'll be a great idol...!" You feel awkward saying that, did you even really mean it? Probably.
They talked more about it for a few minutes, but it came to an end. You texted your team about joining B-Komachi and they texted back in a meer seconds, it would affect your stream schedule greatly, but you'd still be able to live off of it for a while. You had enough money to sustain yourself and maybe one more person for at least a few years. It was really all up to you, did you want to try to become an idol again?
That was all you could think about, you tried to get sleep but the scene of getting crushed played over and over again. You even searched for any new articles about it, but not a lot showed up. At least, not on the internet. It was over 40 years ago, wasn't it?
God you sound old.
It's a lot safer now, so you wouldn't die from being an idol. With another bonus of being a part of the famed B-Komachi! That would most definitely get Hanae's attention, wouldn't it? It'd help you find her— or maybe Hanae will find you? You'd have to tell Aqua tomorrow at school. Yes.
Anything for Hanae.
˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚
The sun rises and so do you, thinking about being an idol made you feel tense all of a sudden. Ruby goes to the same school as you, so it shouldn't be hard to tell her you accept her invitation, right? You could always just ask Aqua. You continue on with your daily routine as you shrug, your uniform looks as plain as it did the day before. Maybe you should add something on to it?
Eruru calls you over and Matsuyo over to her table and yaps on and on about how her weekend was. Being a loved daughter of an amusement park owner would be fun, wouldn't it? She shoves you and Matsuyo in her arms and suggests that you three should go out for fun, you agree with her. Matsuyo hisses at her touch, but doesn't move further.
"Ohh! Let's all take a photo together, it would look really cute for my Instagram!" Eruru says, pulling out her candy colored phone, "Say 'Cheese'!~♡' or how about 'Happy Third Month of School!!' That looks so so cyuute!~ Ah you guys are the best!"
"How does she have this much energy...?" Matsuyo grumbles, taking out his own phone, "But going to the park with the two of you doesn't sound that bad."
"It sounds amazing!☆ We could go on so many of those roller coasters until we vomit our guts out together!⭑" You say clinging onto his back, shaking him back and forth. You felt embarrassed, but he didn't flinch.
"Not you too" He complains, "But that sounds good too, maybe not the vomiting."
"Alright!! What about this Saturday? Or Sunday?" Eruru chimes in, "I posted it and it already has a few likes! We are totally going to be super duper famous!"
"Saturday is fine, we have to study on Sunday though. We have a test, remember?"
"Arghh!! No tests! Those are so boring." She whines.
Aqua walks into the classroom and sees you leaning on Matsuyo, he seems a little disappointed. You brush it off and roughhouse with your newly made friends. Though he was back at it again, staring at you from a distance. It didn't creep you out as much as it did before you officially got to know.
˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆
"Aqua, take me to your sister."
He couldn't take your nerves sometimes, yet he found himself agreeing anyway, as you now walked next to him, hands on your hips. The way to the courtyard felt neither fast-paced or slow, you didn't say anything as you two made it to the destination of where Ruby Hoshino sat.
Neither of you noticed the red haired girl lurking close by.
When Ruby's magenta eyes spotted the two of you, she perked up expectantly.It was as if gears turned in her head until her face lit up and she proudly exclaimed "Oh, Aqua! Are you showing me your first friend?"
Aqua only looked at her with a deadpan expression, but you felt the need to squint your eyes together, the female twins' energy being way too bright. It was somehow higher than Eruru.
"Your sister is too bright, can you tell her that for me?",you stood behind Aqua, only daring to look at the personified sun over his shoulder. He ignored your comment though and gave a court 'No' to his sister, who immediately had the gears turning in her head, again until...
"Ah! Is she your girlfriend?"
Your jaw dropped to the floor. There was a shocked aura coming from one of the bushes nearby, as well as the sound of someone falling back a little, yet nobody bothered to notice. As your eyes went wide, Ruby continued on a rant, completely unbothered though, as she made fun of her brother.
"I can't believe you tried to get with that Akane girl, because like-"
"She is not", Aqua cut his sister off. He put his hand on the small of your back and you tried to not react, but you couldn't tell, was your face heating up? He pushed you forward towards Ruby and then pulled his hand away. "This is [alias]."
...
"Oh!" Ruby really needed to work on her volume control.
The aura coming from the bush changed, you couldn't tell if it was in a positive way or not, but the redhead used it as a hiding spot to claw at her hat.
Eyes blessed with one starry glow gazed into the ones holding two and the blonde girl stepped forward grabbing and holding your hands together. The serious look on her face surprised you, there were so many emotions in her eyes, like a deep galaxy and suddenly you saw an energy in Ruby that you've only ever seen in an idol long passed.
"So you've decided?", there was hope in her voice.
The close proximity was still startling you, as well as her suddenly turning serious, but you quickly tried to gather yourself. Small flashbacks of the long lost time where you've spoken similar words flood your mind, hands unconsciously gripping hers a bit tighter.
"Yeah, I've made up my mind. I'll take up your offer, I'll join B-Komachi as an idol."
-End of Magic Words
Even before you joined B-Komachi, you knew that training to be an idol would be hard work. However, you didn't expect it to be this hard. Maybe it's a lot more different in this body than your old one. You aren't an energetic 12 year old anymore. Was all this cardio really worth it?
You stop to catch your breath with your hand on the stone wall next to you. 'Why did I accept her offer' kept running in and out of your brain as your face turned red with adrenalin. Pieyon shouted for you to keep going as you were way behind the other three girls. Biting your tongue, you made it on top of the hill before flopping to the floor in front of Kana and Ruby. All this running puts way too much pressure on your little deformed rotten heart.
"Are you okay, [name- [alias]?" Ruby asked, putting a hand out for you to grab.
"Ruby! Why are you saying that? You're the one with asthma!!" Kana sighed, helping Ruby lift you back up from the ground. Ruby comments with a 'But I'm not the one dying!' as you stare at the sky above.
"Keep it up, [alias]! It's only been 30 minutes-ish!" Memcho laughed, patting your back and handing you a sticker covered water bottle. "Well actually it's closer to 25, but y'know~"
"What do you mean it's only been 30 minutes??!" You whine, pulling your mask off to the side of your head to breathe in fresh air for the first time. "I feel like I'm dying!! There's no fucking way I'm going to be able to do this on a stage.."
"Language!" Ruby shouted, "No idol would ever drop an f-bomb without getting criticized, we really need to work on that." She took a sip from her water bottle, it was glittery and pink. An Ai charm was attached to the lid. "And put your mask back on!!"
You groaned as you slapped the mask back on your face. *You had to go to the amusement park later with your friends... would they even let you go? You weren't even that good at dancing either. Idol work just isn't meant for you. You fall butt first onto the floor as you shut your eyes. B-Komachi II is already going downhill. Speaking of downhill, that was your next goal. Running downhill back to the studio with your new friends and Pieyon. Again, you were behind them, but it wasn't as bad as the run up.
When the apartment was reached, you felt the cool breeze of sweet air conditioning on your skin. You sat down on one of the brightly colored sofas Strawberry Studios owned.
"No sitting down just yet! We have to work on our muscles! And also learn choreography, some marketing stuff using videos, probably some more cardio, oh wait, not to mention editing the videos–" Ruby continued to go on for a few more minutes as you caught your breath, again.
The dancing sucked, especially learning it all from a not so high quality video. There wasn't anyone to train you besides Pieyon and the Ai fanatic: Ruby. She was a lot better than you were, so was Kana. Memcho was also better than you, but the gap between the two of you was a lot smaller than your gap with the two self proclaimed idols.
You wonder where Aqua is.
As hours went by, your training for day one was finished. You were with the girls, sitting in a room with walls made of mirrors as they packed up their stuff and made some small talk with each other.
"Here's what's funny: we did this whole work out thing with Pieyon to promote B-Komachi! It was sooo hard, we had to do, like, actual punches and stuff for a whole hour!" Ruby burst out laughing, but quickly stopped to think, "I just don't understand kids these days, why do they find buff guys working out so entertaining? Whatever, we'll have to make them fall in love with us!~"
"If they're all going to fall for us, then we're going to have to make a name for ourselves as idols. For example: Who's going to be the face of the new B-Komachi?!" Memcho says, putting her pointer finger to her lip.
"So a leader?" Kana asked, shifting her eyes to look at Mem.
"Yeah! A leader! I say that I should be the leader because I'm the one with the most experience using social media and with uh– nevermind that part. That's totally [alias]."
"No thanks, I'm not up for being the face of this whole group thing, I can't be the face. I don't even have one." You joke, "But I'm being serious, I don't think it would do us any good by having me be the leader. Plus, I don't think I'm really... marketable."
"I totally understand that." Ruby says, putting a hand on your shoulder and smiling, "We won't pressure you any further– but since we're on this topic... I nominate myself to be the leader of B-Komachi because I resemble Ai the most. Plus, I was the reason we made this whole group in the first place, y'know? So I think that the title should go to me."
"Well you aren't going down without a fight!" Memcho shouts, pouncing towards Ruby. They got in a cat fight as you look over to Kana.
"What about you? You haven't said anything yet. Any thoughts on who the leader should be?"
"Hm? Oh well... no comment." Kana sighs, "This is dumb, why don't we just get a random number generator online and just like... I don't know. Ruby is even and Memcho is odds, and whatever number gets chosen the person gets the win?"
"No Kana! That's a horrible idea!" Ruby shouts, "Being an idol is all about talent! Memcho, I challenge you to a singing contest in the karaoke bar down the street! Whoever gets the better score gets to becomes leader!"
"Oho, child? You dare challenge me? Respect your elders, Rubytan!" Mem laughs, you can't tell if it's at her self deprecating joke or at Ruby for challenging her. Mem pointed her finger at Ruby with a silly looking grin plastered across her lips.
"Yeah? You wanna go? Let's go!! C'mon!" Ruby runs out the door with Mem closely behind her.
"What about you Kana, are you gonna go with them?" You ask.
"No, probably not. I'm going to head home now. It's getting dark anyway. Bye [alias]." Kana left before you could say bye to her. From a distance you could hear her saying bye to Pieyon as well.
You're alone in the room as you sit in a corner and scroll through the apps on your phone. It's always the same thing again and again, art of you, food, videos of babies, art of the newest anime, true crime, the latest controversies, paparazzi photos of Akane, and school stuff on your separate account. It's all so much, maybe you should post something soon...
*Shit.
You run down stairs quickly only to find Pieyon taking his mask off. A pretty blonde head of hair popped out of the mask as he set it down. It was Aqua under there the whole time!
Oh.
Oh???
"Oh. Hi [name]." Aqua said, his face was sweaty and gross. That's what a mask does to someone, doesn't it? "I forgot you were still here."
"Eww!! I hate that, put your mask back on." You whine, covering Aqua's face with your hand from a distance, "I can't believe you did that stupid voice! You're such a loser!!" You laugh, "And I can't believe that you were the one to make me run all of that stupid shit!!!" You groan, flicking his forehead.
"You said you wanted to become an idol, this is how you do it." Aqua says softly, looking over at you. His hand was over his forehead. "Can I take your mask off?"
"Well if it's you then it's whatever." You sigh, his hand slipped your mask off carefully, grazing his fingers– barely touching your actual face before setting it down onto the table before you. You flinch at his touch and make a face before reverting back to your normal self. "I don't think I like this whole idol thing right now."
"Really? Why?"
"I want to say that I'm loving this whole setup, but I like it when group activities are like... how do I say this, I wish that I could be friends with all of them. And I know that the time will come, but as of now it just feels really uncomfortable. Like Ruby is obsessed with me for some reason, Kana just doesn't seem to like me that much, and Mem is– well actually nothing is wrong with Mem, she's cool."
"That's a lot." Aqua sighs, "Do you want me to talk to them about it or something?"
"No. That'll make me sound like a loser. Instead, I'll just... I'll just chill out or something, I'm sure that it'll be fine. Idol work is hard work, so I'll push through like the rest of them☆"
"Make sure that you take breaks though, you know it isn't going to be good for you if you don't." Aqua says, he puts his hand on your right arm in a gentle way. You backup a little with a smile across your lips.
"And how would you know that? ☆It's not like my heart's going to explode or something." You take your arm back from him as you say, giving him a look.
"Do you really know that?" Aqua asks, "It doesn't have a high chance of happening, but I'm sure someone like you with a genetic heart defect would take precautions, no?"
"..." You were taken aback that he remembered something so invaluable in everyday life about you, but you were grateful to some extent that he did, "What does it mean to you anyway? You aren't some sort of doctor or something! You're just a kid you like idols– and it's not like you're gonna give me a break from any exercises!!"
"True, maybe I'll need to train your heart more than the others, yeah? You and Ruby."
"That is so... stupid!! Aqua you aren't going to make me do anything."
"But that's how you can be a good idol, don't you want to make your fans happy?" He said menacingly, it's almost as if he was trying to test you.
"I already make my fans happy! In fact, just because I joined this group means that I can't stream or– or make any content for them all to consume!! [alias] is falling off right now!"
"Chill out, it's only been like one day." Aqua murmurs.
"One day is a lot!! But like... I guess it's fine. I can still try to make music and they'll eat it up..."
"I'm sure Matsuyo would be upset. He's a real big [alias] fan." He states sarcastically.
"And you aren't? Your sister seems to like me a lot!" You reply sarcastically to his comment as you cross your arms.
"I'm more of a [name] fan."
"..." Your face turned red as you bit your lip to not say anything else that he could counter and make you even more flustered- embarrassed. Yeah, embarrassed.
"...Weren't you supposed to go to the amusement park with Eruru today?"
"Oh shit! I totally forgot!! Okay, yeah. Thanks Aqua!!" You yell, running off to meet your friends. So that's why you came down here, you can't believe that you forgot about it so quickly. The time is 7:39 you're already 19 minutes late. You mentally beat yourself up as you call an uber your way to ride over to Wonderland, Eruru's place. You hurriedly type up a text to both Matsuyo and Eruru filled with apologies and lies on what you were doing before this.
You cover your face with your hands in the car ride as you think about what just happened. Did Aqua really need to say that? Did he even mean it or was he just trying to get high ground? Or was he just trying to catch your off guard? His words kept repeating in your head. That's it: you'll never let your guard drop around him. Hopefully.
˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚
On Sunday, you and the girls met back at the studio. The silence was somewhat awkward. Kana was on her phone, trying her best to not think of anything related to B-Komachi it seems, Ruby and Memcho were looking back and forth at each other, whispering in each others ears every now and then while giggling, and you were staring at all three of them with an awkward smile plastered across your face. At some point, you started staring out at space.
Thankfully it wasn't for long because Ruby quickly broke the silence with Memcho at her side. "Okay! We decided who the leader should be." She smiled while Mem gave her the thumbs up. "It's going to be..."
"Kana Arima!" Mem and Ruby both shout out, pointing their fingers at the surprised girl. Her jaw was dropped, and so was the phone she was previously holding.
"WHAT??" Kana shouted, "There is NO way I'm going to be a leader for this... rookie group! It would make me look bad! And it's not like I'm like Mem and [alias], they all have a backup plan! I'm just some... erm... I don't have an agency or- or a fanbase that I could crawl back to if this whole plan falls backwards! This is just totally not going to work out in my favor! There's no way! Nononono, everythingisgoingtofailandand... What happened to you wanting to be the leader, Ruby?!"
"Well while we were out at karaoke, we saw some songs that had your name in it!" Ruby said, pointing to a picture on her phone.
"And then we searched it up on YouTube! And we saw such cute videos of your singing songs and some of them were actually pretty recent. Kana, you have such a great voice! So much better than me and Ruby!" Memcho says, clicking on one of the videos on Ruby's phone. The song started playing and before it got to a part where you could get a good listen to Kana's voice, Kana jumped and slapped the phone off of Ruby's hand.
"No! D-Don't listen to crap like that!!!" Kana screamed, "I- I thought I told you guys that I didn't want to be the leader!! Didn't I?"
"You did? I don't remember you saying anything like that~~"
"Noo!! I can't be the leader, I know nothing about being an idol! I never even liked idols to begin with, I think they're all phony and fake for keeping up an act all the time!"
"Hey! Don't disrespect other idols, we could get canceled for that you know! And you put on acts all the time, you're an actor. That's your job!" Ruby shouted back, picking up her phone from the floor and dusting it off.
"If it means anything, I think you're the most experienced out of all of us, Kana." You say, putting your hand on Kana's shoulder, "And I know this is all unexpected, but we all believe in you. You can do this!☆ You've been on a stage before, we haven't! If anyone, I think that it should go to you. We're all learning how to be idols after all." Kana looks at you with a smile as she takes a deep breath.
"And if you mess up, we'll be right behind you to pick you back up!" Ruby said, her left eye shined brightly, it almost outshined you!
"That's so totally right!" Mem agreed, nodding her head back and forth, "You'll be a terrific leader, and if anyone disagrees they'll have to answer to my fists!"
"I... I guess I could try being a leader. If I'm good enough, I'll be able to push the spotlight on you guys. Th-Thanks." Kana's smile drops as she closes her eyes. She said something that only you could hear, "If I'm good enough, or... if I'm the best leader then he'll be cheering for me. I'll be a bright star that he can look up to."
Kana likes someone? You didn't expect that, but you internally agree with her. Even if you do hate most things about being an idol, you wouldn't let B-Komachi crumble down. Hanae wouldn't like that, so neither would you.
-End of Looking So Gentle
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Check out the other parts here! {CLICK ME}
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uniquexusposts · 2 years
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Festival kiss - Lando Norris
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Glastonbury Festival 2019. It was one of the best festivals, according to Liv's best friend, Oliver. When Oliver announced he bought three tickets for Glastonbury, Liv knew what Oliver was trying to do; convince her to go with him. And that is what he did. After weeks of treating her like a queen, Liv said yes to Oliver. But on only one condition; Liv's best girl friend Isabelle needed to join too. And that is what she did, Isabelle joined the two people to go to Glastonbury.
It was Saturday, the day that The Killers were the head performer. The Killers were one of the favourite bands of Liv. Liv, Oliver and Isabelle arrived early in the morning, had an overpriced brunch at the terrain and waited for The Killers.
Throughout the day, they walked around, listening and watching to unfamiliar artists and watching people. There was a snap of Carrie Underwood, Anne-Marie, Janet Jackson and Lizzo. Hozier was also liked by Liv, Oliver and Isabelle, just like Liam Gallagher - what felt like the national anthem to the festival. A lot of people gathered around when it was about time for The Killers.
Liv kneeled to tie up the laces of her shoe. For a few seconds, she broke her sight to her friends she was following. She got up again and scanned the people to see if she could find the blonde, short hair of Isabelle or the brown hair of Oliver. She turned around to observe all the people. So many people around here. Liv's lips parted and felt her heartbeat rising. She grabbed her phone and opened the WhatsApp chat with Oliver and Isabelle.
Liv: Guys??? Where are you??? Liv: I have lost you Liv: Helloooooo Liv: Please, ansWER!!!! Liv: Belle? Oli?!
She tried to call them both, but it went straight to voicemail. Liv swallowed hard and stood on her tiptoes to find her two friends. And that comes to a question: why was everyone so tall? She kept her eyes on her phone, hoping for a text or call. It was likely to lose a friend at a festival, there are so many people, it is busy all the time.
Liv looked up when the lights dimmed, and everybody started to cheer. She let out a deep breath and closed her eyes. It was The Killers... People travelled from far to see them. There was a small chance Oliver and Isabelle would show up. Liv looked around and put her phone away. It started to penetrate her; she lost her friends, and she wouldn't find them now. She got pushed against some people, everyone was hyped. Liv had two options: act like a police officer and find them or enjoy The Killers by herself. Her eyes glanced over the stage, she was standing on a good spot with a good view on the stage. I will enjoy this myself.
The corner of Liv's mouth curled up, and she threw her hands in the air. Music filled her ears. Everyone around her sang along with Somebody Told Me. Liv knew every single word of the song. She smiled happily and could feel tingles in her stomach. Since she said yes to Oliver, she couldn't wait for this moment.
Liv's eyes fell on the person next to her. His eyes found hers, and he dramatically shouted the lyrics. Liv laughed and sang together with him.
The thing about festivals was how everybody became friends with each other, just friends for an hour or two. Most people who stood in the crowd came for the same thing: their favourite artist. The ambience of festivals was terrific. Most of the time, people were chill and relaxed unless they were drunk or on drugs, they could be annoying.
"Well someone told me you had a boyfriend. Who looked like a girlfriend. That I had in February of last year. It's not confidential, I've got potential." The words rolled over Liv's lips while her eyes were locked with the guy. He laughed and sang.
"Are you here alone?" the guy asked after the song finishes. The Killers took a moment to glance over the audience, what gave the guy the opportunity to talk without raising his voice.
"Yes, actually, no. I lost my friends, they are here too," Liv replied and snorted, "somewhere." He nodded. "What about you?"
"All by myself," he said. "Why don't you look for your friends?"
Liv had no idea who he was, but he seemed nice. He had brown hair and blue eyes, she couldn't tell what colour they had because of the darkness.
"Yeah, right," Liv sighed. "I tried to call them and look for them, but it was too much effort. I could look for them or enjoy this concert." Liv licked her lips and softly smiled.
"True," he agreed.
They both watched, sang and enjoyed the show together. He was nice to have as a company, although he was a stranger to her. When Liv looked up for the time on your phone, it died. She asked the guy for the time, but his phone died as well. The show came to an end, sadly. They cheered as The Killers walked off the stage.
"Can you hold this for me, please?" Liv asked and holt your phone up.
"Sure," he said and grabbed her phone. Liv went down on her knee and tied the laces of her shoes.
"Thanks," Liv smiled when she got up again.
"No worries." He gave her a smile as well. "I'm Lando."
"Liv."
He locked his eyes with Liv's again. The night had fallen, but he could see the sparkle in Liv's light coloured eyes. Liv bit her lip and broke off the contact. A giggle left her lips, and she placed both her hands on her hips. The guy smiled and watched her giggling.
Liv looked back at him, looking in his right eye and then his left eye. Lando slowly leaned in, his nose softly touched her cheek. Their lips hovered centimetres from each other for a few seconds before they barely brushed. Liv closed her eyes and felt his warm breath against her lips. He was waiting for her reaction, how she reacted on him. She didn't mind, she wasn't scared. Lando cupped her face in his hands and swallowed before his lips landed on her lips with a soft press.
The people, the music, the area slowly fell away around them. Liv placed her hand on his chest and could feel a warm feeling inside her body. He pressed his tongue in her mouth. Liv's heart kept missing beats. She could feel how her breath became heavier and faster. The body of Lando softly brushed against Liv's body. Goosebumps spread out on her body, she wasn't feeling cold, but this feeling was making her shiver. His taste was sweet, and she noticed she hadn't felt this before. She had kissed before, but none of them felt good like this kiss. Maybe it was because he was unknown to her, it felt mysterious, and she wanted more. He softly stroked his thumb over her cheek, his touch burned on her cheek.
"Liv! There you are!"
Liv stopped the kiss by pulling away. The reality slowly come back. Music, laughter and voices filled their ears again, giving them the realisation they were at a festival. Lando watched how she was processing the kiss with her eyes closed. Liv nipped her bottom lip and slowly opened her eyes. The first thing Liv saw, were the blue eyes of him, they had a glimpse in it. A soft smile appeared on her lips when he smiled.
Isabelle pushed herself through the people while she kept looking at Liv, she was standing close to an unfamiliar guy. "Excuse me," she said to a group of people when she squeezed herself between them. "Yup, excuse me."
"I think your friend has found you," Lando smiled and pulled his hand back.
"Yeah..." she mumbled.
"It was nice meeting you, Liv," he said, picking up her name from Isabelle.
"You too." Liv could feel her cheeks heating up. She looked behind her and had a glimpse of her friend.
Isabelle grabbed Liv's arm and scanned her face. "Are you okay? Where on earth were you?" She hissed. "I thought you were dead."
Liv squeezed her eyebrows together. "I was with this..." She turned back to face Lando, but he was gone. Her eyes glanced over the rest of the people, he was gone. There was no sign of him anymore. "This guy," she finished and looked back at Isabelle.
Isabelle raised her eyebrow. "Who? The guy you kissed? Was he more important than us?"
Liv rolled her eyes. "I have called you multiple times, Belle. Maybe you should check your phone."
"I called you, like a thousand times."
"My phone died."
Isabelle smirked. "Sorry." She licked her lips and ran her hand through her hair. "Who was he? How did he kiss? This is so unlike you, Liv!" She yelled and wiggled her eyebrows.
"I don't know." Tinglings spread through her stomach when she thought about the kiss. His lips on hers, it felt good. "I lost you, and he was my company. And it was nice."
"Alright," Isabelle nodded. She watched how fragile Liv was, sensitive in a good way. She was flooded with love; the blush on her cheeks, the innocent smile, the sparkles in her eyes, the giggles. "Anyway, Oliver found people to party with-"
"I have to work tomorrow," Liv cut her off, knowing Isabelle was about to ask to stay.
"I know, so we're are going home. Easy, I knew you need to work tomorrow."
They followed the crowd for the exit. Since they were standing quite in the front, it was a whole survival to get to the bus station at the entry of the festival.
"But what do you think? It was amazing, right?" Isabelle grinned.
"Mate, The Killers are always amazing," Liv started her talk about the concert.
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depoteka · 1 year
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my ranking and review of all eurovision 2023 songs
(don't expect any intellectual deep dives, i just tried articulating my feelings the best i could but it was hard bc i'm so lukewarm on so many songs. if the reviews don't make sense it's because i wrote them before i used the esc gerbear to sort the places hhh)
37. iceland: diljá - power
it definitely is a song that is competing in eurovision this year and i've listened to it. it doesn't make me feel anything so i don't know what to say. it's a fast pop song but i'm not even vibing to it :( i just don't like it
36. switzerland: remo forrer - watergun
oh switzerland, just because sad boy gjon worked in 2021 doesn't mean you need to keep sending sad boys now... a really boring attempt at an anti-war song
35. cyprus: andrew lambrou - break a broken heart
i don't think i'm really into men singing some heartbreak songs tbh i don't like those howls in the song and the rest sorta sounds imagine dragons-ish to me, the verses at least
34. greece: victor vernicos - what they say
it's cool that he's playing bass in the music video but the song isn't making me feel much. ain't gonna really talk shit about it bc the dude's just 16, i hope he has fun at eurovision
33. italy: marco mengoni - due vite
i like to think italy is my fave eurovision country and then they send a ballad….. i actually watched sanremo (tho i haven't seen any of the nights till the end bc i'm not that strong Yet) and marco wasn't my favourite at all, i was actually surprised how crazy the audience kept going whenever he was performing. of course i can see it getting some good result because it's a classic italian ballad. just not for me
32. ireland: wild youth - we are one
we've got u2 at home/the u2 at home:…. this song has the most generic love love peace peace lyrics ever and whatever unity they are singing about i don't want to be a part of it
31. poland: jann - gladiator blanka - solo
baybeh….it's kinda crazeh… allegedly it was a big radio hit before "winning" the preselections but imma be real with you, i'd never heard it before. it's a harmless pop song without any substance and if it was selected internally i'd be like meh but all the bullshit that went down at our national final makes me mad. i hope we flop hard
30. portugal: mimicat - ai coração
something about it to me feels like early 00s eurovision and i must admit, i don't really like it. though the performance in liverpool might be quite fun
29. romania: theodor andrei - d.g.t. (off and on)
the national final performance of this song is a state of mind. to be frank i feel like the esc fandom is overhating this song, it's not That bad. am i a fan of this song? no. would i like it to see it in the final with the same staging just for laughs? yes
28. israel: noa kirel - unicorn
israel i'm so sorry 0 points……. this song is a disjointed mess to my ears, i think it would've been better if they stuck to just one of the styles they used in this song. all the mentions of unicorns in this song make me cringe. not to mention the "you wanna see me dance?" bit which um, also makes me cringe. no problem with a dance break but why did she have to announce it like that out of nowhere. my favourite part of the song is probably the "u-ni-corn" chant at the very end but other than that eh. this song was written to make the staging crazy and exciting but as a song it doesn't work for me
27. azerbaijan: turalturanx - tell me more
brave of azerbaijan to send two dudes with their song that sound like it teleported itself from an early 00s shitty british movie. that rap part sounds like it's from a corporate song targeted at a young audience to idk make them stop smoking asdfadsf there's something endearing about this song tho
26. uk: mae muller - i wrote a song
i recognize that it's a step in the right direction for the uk and it's a rather fun song but tbh i just don't connect with it. i really liked sam last year and sadly in comparison mae's song seems quite weak to me. though i hope that the (de facto) host country curse doesn't work on the uk this year tho and they don't end up on the very end of the board
25. the netherlands: mia nicolai & dion cooper - burning daylight
ngl i forgot about this song after the first listen. i don't even know what to say about it really, it's just really underwhelming to me. i think i don't actively hate it but i also don't really like it
24. georgia: iru - echo
english grammar rules have left the chat. i'm baffled by the lyrics. but the song overall (along with the video) feels like something from outer space or the future. not in a crazy way tho. i think it has some potential
23. denmark: reiley - breaking my heart
bts are on hiatus so it's his time to shine. no but seriously, there's something so kpopy about this song? i defo like it more than the other "breaking heart" song this year but still. the dude gives me some uncanny valley feeling, especially considering he allegedly pretends to be 5 years younger than he actually is? i love eurovision drama
22. estonia: alika - bridges
we have very few true ballads this year but i think this one's ok!! not a ballad girl myself but i don't mind this one, i like her voice. gives me adele bond theme vibes. i've seen people say alika isn't really selling this song but i saw her national final performance and it seemed fine to me? not much you can really do when you're singing a ballad tbh
21. armenia: brunette - future lover
imma be real with you, i laughed out loud when i first listened to this song because of the lyrics. but i think the song is kinda nice anyway? not a fave but it's nice enough
20. malta: the busker - dance (our own party)
they got sax and in theory i should like it. but i'm not a fan. the whole "ooh i wanna stay at home in my sweater" shtick doesn't work for me. i can see why some people are vibing to this song but it's not doing it for me
19. sweden: loreen - tattoo
i'm a noted hater of sweden at eurovision so don't expect me to say anything nice hhhh the song is rather fine and loreen is fantastic but at the same time i feel like the entire song is just one idea repeated over and over without any sort of variation. her staging at melfest seems quite interesting but overall i don't think this has a potential to win? especially if the people watching in may remember euphoria. tattoo pales in comparison
18. san marino: piqued jacks - like an animal
hear me out………i don't hate this song. yes maybe it's cringe but somehow it keeps getting stuck in my head because it's catchy asdfasdfadsf i'm waiting for the studio version bc it's hard to properly judge it based on the shit sound mix at san marino nf
17. ukraine: tvorchi - heart of steel
was kinda surprised watching vidbir when this won! but then again ukraine keeps giving us different things constantly. i quite like this song but it's also too lowkey for me, nothing to go crazy about. still, it's a vibe
16. norway: alessandra - queen of the kings
ngl when i first heard the song i couldn't understand why people like it so much. now i enjoy it more but i wouldn't say it's a fave of mine? i can see it getting a good result though, there's something very eurovision about it
15. serbia: luke black - samo mi se spava
i feel like technically i should like this song but i….don't. i think the music itself is quite fun but…..the performance makes it seem like it was written for the netflix eurovision movie. something about this guy's voice bothers me. the nail to the coffin for me is the fact that the title of this song sounds close to "samo mi się spawa" in polish which means "it welds on its own for me" instead of "i just wanna sleep" which is what the title actually means 💀 i can't shake this association off and it doesn't help me like this song more
14. slovenia: joker out - carpe diem
at first i wasn't impressed but overall i think it's quite a fun indie/pop rock song!! and it's always nice to hear a native language instead of english
13. lithuania: monika lynkytė - stay
it's a pleasant song and the lithuanian bit is my fave part of the song. overall i don't mind it, but also i'm not crazy about it. sort of disappointed because i really loved sentimentai last year :(
12. belgium: gustaph - because of you
i haven't watched the belgian nf so i don't know what the other options were (that people are so mad about not winning) but i quite like this one!!! it's a bop, makes me wanna dance. i hope gustaph brings some voguing to liverpool
11. moldova: pasha parfeni - soarele şi luna
the only true folk influenced song we have this year, i like it!! it's a banger, it has some sort of flute going on, from what i've seen the lyrics refer to a folk legend? we love it
10. australia: voyager - promise
banger!! pleasantly surprised because i don't think i've ever really really liked any of australia's entries in the past. thought the random high note in the second verse is quite funny to me tbh asdasdfds
9. croatia: let 3 - mama ŠČ!
i think it's more of a whole package where the song doesn't really make full sense without the performance but in some strange way i enjoy the song anyway. the lyrics also are quite understandable in polish which probably also makes it easier for me (and i imagine other slavic people as well) to understand the message without feeling confused about what's going on
8. albania: albina & familja kelmendi - duje
the drama?? i love it. i saw somebody say it feels like a turkish telenovela and they've got a point. it makes me feel something (unlike some other entries) and i appreciate it. plus the instrumental absolutely fucks
7. spain: blanca paloma - eaea
when i first heard the song i didn't understand it at all. i feel like i still don't fully Get it but there's something so fascinating about it to me that i can't stop thinking about it. i'm so confused? but i think it means i enjoy it. definitely something i like more than slomo last year
6. germany: lord of the lost - blood & glitter
yell heah!! germany finally sending something worthwhile. i keep listening to this song on loop, i wanna twerk to it. love the combo of metal AND glitter <3
5. france: la zarra - évidemment
i already liked it at first listen and it keeps growing on me! not a big fan of chanson type of songs but this one is a banger + her look in the music video is gorgeous, i hope she keeps it for liverpool
4. czechia: vesna - my sister's crown
liked it before it was chosen at czechia's national final and was happy when they won but i kinda got bored of it after a month or so? i still think it's a good song (even tho i know people have some issues with it) and i love the mix of three different slavic languages. i think with the right staging they can win me back
3. latvia: sudden lights - aijā
OK OK… when i first heard it i was like ok. but then one evening i randomly found myself watching the moldovan nf and they were guests there and when they played their song in this shitty studio i was like omg it's actually really good?? obsessed with the lullaby bit at the end. i hope to god they qualify, they need to bring justice to latvia after citi zeni's nq last year
2. austria: teya & salena - who the hell is edgar?
what a surprise?? adored it at first listen. it both manages to be a bop while also trying to say something. i loved in corpore sano last year, i love who the hell is edgar this year
1. finland: käärijä - cha cha cha
what can i say......i usually don't really listen to any of the national final songs and just wait for the winner of each one but the thumbnail for cha cha cha music video on yt intrigued me so i watched it. and immediately i wanted käärijä to win eurovision weeks before he even won the finnish nf. the song is sooo addictive and his entire look/performance is hypnotizing. i know he's a favourite to win rn but if he somehow flops in may i'm gonna be really really sad. come on, it's crazy it's party. i think this finnish win would be a really fitting addition to lordi's win in 2006
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deepautumncolors · 3 months
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Book Reviews
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12/28/23
This book was such a sweet holiday romance! I’m really glad I waited until December to read it right before Christmas. If you can get past the idea that nobody noticed the twins weren’t who they were supposed to be, you’ll like it. I mean, I know a pair of twin sisters and even though they look alike, their voices still sound different. Anyway, I was a little surprised that Charlie and Cass didn’t tell each other what was going on in “their” lives and that they didn’t confess to Miguel and Jake a little sooner, but it didn’t bother me. I don’t watch baking shows nor do I even cook that much, but it didn’t take away anything from the story for me. The book had a few minor errors, like missing punctuation, that would have been caught with careful editing. And once in a while I would have added a comma or put certain words in a different order within the sentence, but I can overlook that. There were a few times the dialogue was a bit juvenile and some moments were slightly cheesy and predictable, but I knew what I was getting into when I decided to read it. That’s just how this genre is. Overall, it was a cute, clean, and appropriate story with only kissing and no swearing. I thought the structure was set up well with one chapter from each twin’s point of view on the same day. I didn’t have a hard time keeping their stories straight. I loved the role that each character played in the story, including the townspeople like Sharon and Faye. I thought the plot was thought out very nicely and I liked how everything was tied up at the end. I am looking forward to reading the other Christmas book by these authors. (Maggie Knox is a pen name for the writing duo Karma Brown and Marissa Stapley.)
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1/7/24
This is the second holiday romance book by these authors. While I was in the middle of reading their first one, I called the library to order this book a couple weeks before Christmas so I could read it over the holidays. But they didn’t have it and the librarian said there were already some holds for it, so she put me on the waiting list and I wouldn’t get to read it for a while. Well, it turned out my husband overheard me on the phone and stealthily ordered it from Amazon, so I was surprised to receive it as a gift on Christmas Day! Anyway, I just finished reading it. I enjoyed it, but I liked The Holiday Swap a little bit better.
This story is about two singers named Sadie Hunter and Max Brody competing on a show called Starmaker, which is a lot like American Idol, in Nashville. They have amazing chemistry when they sing together onstage, so the audience loves them and roots for #Saxie to win. The producers convince them to compete as a couple for the rest of the show in order to boost ratings or else they will be eliminated, so they maintain a fake relationship in their everyday lives even though they “can’t stand each other” offstage. At least, that’s what the plot summary says on the back cover – I wasn’t convinced. They butted heads a couple times, but to me it didn’t seem like they hated each other enough. They also had a lot of miscommunication throughout the story that was somewhat implausible at times. Why didn’t she just TELL him about her grandma instead of rushing off? Also, it frustrated me that Max kept jumping to conclusions without just talking to Sadie first. It seemed like every time they needed to talk to each other, one of them never answered their phone. And I found it to be a bit of a stretch that they didn’t talk for an entire year. I get it that the authors wanted it to take place at Christmastime two years in a row so they had to skip from one December to the next, but it’s doubtful that they wouldn’t even call or text each other during that time.
As a fan of the former TV series Nashville, I liked the setting and I could easily picture certain scenes taking place based on what I saw in the episodes. Whenever Sadie and Max performed, I imagined that their voices sounded like Scarlett and Gunnar’s together on the show. I wish I could have heard some of the songs that the characters sang, or at least that a few more lyrics than just a couple lines had been revealed. Perhaps a nice addition would be to add the entire songs at the back of the book. It would make a nice Hallmark movie, being able to actually hear them sing. The character of Cruz was definitely believable even though it’s unfortunate that sleazy producers like him exist in real life. As a Swiftie, I appreciated several references to Taylor Swift. I thought the dialogue was a little stronger than it was in the previous book. There was also a little swearing and the romance scenes were spicier. I liked Saxie’s happy ending, even though it took them a while to finally get there.
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septembersghost · 1 year
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I want Austin to win so badly which isn't only bias, he gave EVERYTHING to honoring Elvis and he more than earned it. I really like Brendan but have you read Roxane Gay's op-ed on The Whale?
i knew there was controversy about that, but had not seen anything in-depth, reading her piece (and i have such respect for her) is...distressing. she makes it clear her issue is not with brendon (whom we adore!) nor the objective quality of his performance, but rather with the cruelty she felt in the film itself. here's the link but warning that she is honest and what she discusses could be triggering.
regarding our beloved aus, tbh this now makes me want to share this publicly because it gets to the beating heart of the whole thing: what austin achieved was the result of constant preparation, months and months of research, dedicating a couple of years of his life solely to understanding and embodying someone to his spiritual and cellular level. it's not some paper-thin impersonation - something el has been subjected repeatedly, being turned into a costume or a parody unfairly. he gave body, mind, and soul to the film. (this is also why the banal comments about his voice make me rage, because not only are they patently untrue - have any of those people listened to elvis speak? - but it reduces his craft down into a joke when it is anything but. and austin's sincerity and openness is beautiful.) austin approached him so wholly and so kindly, which was imperative to make it work. i just quote conversations with chelsea all the time, but i sent that to her and she put this so well: "the part of that video that really touched me was that the people who knew him didn't see austin, they saw their friend. and how he dove into WHY elvis had certain physical movements, so they come from an authentic feeling. it is such a blessing to have given that to them, to give elvis back to his family, and then to reintroduce him to the world in a way that they can be proud of. it really was a steeper hill to climb than most acting roles ever are just because of how high the expectations are. and then to meet and exceed them." if this were a fictional story, it would be hard to believe it, but it was elvis' life. austin's tremendous connection there, and speaking about using his fear as a compass and seeing through his eyes - it IS a radical experience, as that video says. it is an incredible gift to have taken this man who's been so misrepresented on one hand and so idolized on the other, and bring the essence of him back to life, return him to the world in a sense, and cause audiences to be changed by the feeling it gives them and the love they find there. i have screenshots saved of tweets and comments from people i don't even know talking about what it means to them, what e means to them, because it touches me so deeply. is that not the whole point of taking such a journey? to find something so humanistic and so transformative? to reveal some profound sense of connection and love? there's so much i want to write and say about the film and i've just kept a lot of it to myself or said it to close friends, but what i kept thinking about today is when the switch flips at the end, and we're suddenly with elvis, not merely his image, but the plea and voice and words and heart of him, saying i need your love, i'll be comin' home, wait for me, every dream i've ever had has come true a hundred times, i keep singing a song...and how everything that went before is this love letter to him, infused with the passion and purpose of who he was, and how breathlessly they pulled that off. this project couldn't have existed without austin, and nothing can convince me that somehow elvis' spirit wasn't guiding him to that, not only for him, but for everyone who has been affected by it and will carry that with them. he deserves every award and every bit of praise he's been given, but it also has more lasting meaning than that. no matter what happens, we are going to remember that, we are going to take it with us. and that's what makes a performance live on, and a story, and a person. out there in the dark, there's a beckoning candle. we're keepers of that light.
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pearlescent-soda · 1 year
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🎨//A Sample of My Headcanons on the Dragon Daddies (Artisans Edition):
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Alban:
The ill-tempered scribe of the Artisan Realms. Infinitely skeptical and standoffish towards most, getting past his cold exterior will take a tremendous amount of willpower. He's straightforward, despising small talk, preferring to 'get on with it' rather than fumbling around a pointless conversation. He's got no tolerance for foolishness of any kind, especially from his inner circle in Dark Hollow. 
His duties consist of keeping historical records and the creation of books. Centuries prior, he kept business, judicial, and court records. Nowadays, he focuses on making books and taking dragon population surveys across the realms. For a few extra gems, he can even be a book editor at his client's request, but they should expect to be put on a lengthy waiting list because Alban is highly sought-after dragon.
Him and Spyro have a strained relationship stemming from an incident from a few years back. When Spyro was younger, he'd stay after his writing lessons to read the historical records with Alban. He'd practice writing through a journal given by Alban, but the scribe was appalled by a passage written on the Sorceress.  He reprimanded the boy for swearing to defeat her, but Spyro said he was overreacting. Hurtful words were exchanged, and their relationship was never the same.
He utterly dreads receiving written reports from the other realms, something always goes awry during delivery. Peace Keepers scrolls are full of sand or burned, Magic Crafters use a different alphabet per realm, Dream Weavers are too cryptic, and the Beast Makers' parchment has water damage. He may seem fine on the outside, but the veins on his hands due to his death grip on the scrolls say otherwise.
He'll spend days at a time in his study just writing. Oswin is the one who delivers food and water to him, often giving updates about the outside world to him, while Darius is the one to get physical and drag him to bed if he's in there for more than three days straight. Argus jokes that the dragon wrote more in a week than the scholar could in a millennium.
After the dragons were exiled to the Dragon Realms a thousand years ago, Alban, Darius, and Oswin were the only dragons of their generation to be fully literate at four years old. They assisted Thor and Astor with teaching the other young dragons how to read and write. Darius and Oswin love to teach, while Alban, well...His perfectionism makes him excruciatingly hard to please.
He'd never admit it, but he cares deeply for those closest to him. He will always stand up for them when they need it. This protective nature extends to the youngest Artisan and his glowing dragonfly's wellbeing. He simply doesn't get along with a lot of people because of his 'unfriendly' personality and he doesn't want it to be that way, but his pride makes apologizing hard and his less than stellar social skills are great at worsening the situation.
Darius:
The theatrics never end with him, he's so dramatic in a way that's just entertaining to watch. There's always anticipation for what his answers are going to be on... anything. He thrives off the attention of a large audience on the stage but not so much off the stage. Without a crowd to listen to him blabber out his lines, he gets time to breathe, and returns to library to try to find inspiration for his next major production.
Actor, director, producer, he can assume any role he needs to. He's strict, but fair with his performers. If their mistakes are not corrected, he'll give them two chances to get it together. So far, he's found six talented dragons to be a part of his Dark Hollow troupe, not including Oswin and Alban. Watching them perform is like an otherworldly experience, it's impossible to recognize them once they're in character.
Using Spyro in a production is not a very good idea, and Darius learned this the hard way. Sparx had to remind him of which lines to say and, after he altered his costume and lines without permission, Spyro tried to 'save the play' by making everything 'action packed'. The staff and actors adjust well enough to the 'new and improved' story from the little dragon, but just want it to be over quickly so that they can harshly scold him behind the curtains. The audience left the stands confused on how their historical reenactment became a high fantasy action-adventure feature.
He gets intense when writing his characters, three or more trips to the library, a pile of crumpled drafts, and several empty inkwells. Any disturbance in his office will be removed immediately, or else a death glare to end all death glares will be thrown at any intruders. He's taken Gnorc armor before because he felt that it suited one of his characters far better than a 'bumbling oaf masquerading as a soldier'.
The Dark Hollow dragons are the only living souls allowed to go over his rough drafts. He trusts them to edit and rearrange, with his supervision, scripts for upcoming productions. This leaves Darius with enough time to set up props and finish costumes.
He reaches out for a majority of the props used in his plays, but the costumes are made by him and him only. His craftmanship is undeniably excellent, requests come from realms out of the Artisan Realms. Every Artisan owns one or more pieces of clothing crafted by his hands, the ones who purchase his pieces are the Magic Crafters.
The skull he holds is a prop carved from a stone he discovered in his rose bushes. He paid Nils to carve identical stones to use as decorations for his rose garden. The Artisans find them to be highly disturbing, some outright saying it to his face, still, Darius argues that it gives the scenery 'personality'.
Oswin:
The excitable dragon whose face is perpetually hidden behind a book. Getting his attention is like trying to put shoes on field mice, doable, but not for the weak-willed. To get him to pay attention, as rude as it is, take the book from his hands and make eye contact with him.  Be quick with the topic, because then he'll start trying to find different subjects to educate on, which, as predicted, usually has little relevancy to the original topic in any way. Give him time, he's a sweet, sweet dragon with his head in the clouds, or, realistically, a puddle of water.
This librarian is a night owl through and through, he's awake from eleven in the morning to eleven at night. He'll spend entire days rearranging books, updating and making catalogues for what books are on what shelves, and reading over books before making them available to the public. The residents of Dark Hollow are unsure of how he pulls such a feat without the use of caffeine, but his energy output continues to be chipper, no matter the situation thrown at him.
He personally keeps records of book fines and adds 5 gems per day after the return date. The highest fine ever paid for an overdue book was 150 gems by an infamous young dragon. He gave him a serious lecture for keeping a book a month after it was supposed to be returned. Spyro, worried that Oswin would go berserk if he didn't do something, offered to help him organize the bottom shelves to calm him down. Now on Wednesdays, the boy organizes returned books with Oswin which the older dragon is very, very happy with.
He'll know when a book is missing or overdue, and he'll be fidgety until it's returned. This is especially the truth if the book is approaching its due date. He once showed up to Alvar's quarters in Town Square at midnight to get a cookbook returned on its exact due date. The chef said that he felt a chill travel from head to tail at the look he was given.
He's written a handful of books, fiction, meant for all audiences. 'The Dragon's Rainbow' is moderately popular and letters asking about the future installments are frequent. Gnorcs are his largest demographic, but Oswin doesn't see it as concerning. Anyone is welcome to read his fantasy novels, as long as they return them on time, which the Gnorcs never fail to do.
The genre he's spotted reading the most are fairytales and fables, because he believes the lessons taught are invaluable. Oswin is not picky about reading materials in the slightest, he'll read instruction manuals, tabloids, poetry, and biographies. If it's got words on pages, he wants it. 'Oh, can I have that when you're done with it? I don't think I've read that one before'.
The hazardous placement of candles inside of the library has been a topic of intense debate between him, Darius, and Alban. Oswin insists the candles stay as they are, Darius wants the ones on the shelves removed, and Alban is ready to install electric lamps around Dark Hollow. The librarian won't budge, promising the books will always be safe under his supervision. The pools of water on the other hand, he's still thinking about that one. He's found himself dropping books in the pools of water in the library several times since the library became his, and it's never not embarrassing. Fishing the soggy book out of the water and making a trip to Alban's study, swiftly being lambasted by the scribe as soon as he sees the pages ink smeared across the pages. Sometimes, when a story is especially enthralling, and he can't bring himself to watch where he's going, the books take him with them and, SPLASH, now they're both drenched.
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daveinediting · 7 months
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As always, once I start focusing my thoughts on a specific creative challenge, at some point something somewhere inside my brain starts connecting the dots and expanding the canvas.
I have no idea how that works, it just does. 🤔
Anyway, I've been at this for the last coupla weeks, considering how a particular stage production should manifest itself. How it should look, feel, and sound to an audience. And a few days ago I managed to set some objectives and strategies to the endeavor: the kind of experience being crafted... and some specific tools that could be used to craft the experience. An essential first step.
Over the weekend, I had the pleasure of attending the album release party for a local band. It was profoundly energized from start to finish, a show fit for even larger concert venues with its huge production value both in visuals and sound. I paid attention to my experience, how I responded to each song performance in the moment... and I paid attention to how the audience, packed wall to wall, front to back, responded. Which is basically me observing what excels, how performances land, the energy dynamic of the audience across the entire show, what the different experiences between the song performances are... and why.
The concert definitely gave me a heightened appreciation for production value and the impact it has on audience experience.
So then a coupla days go by and I'm hanging out with a friend who's a musician. They're sharing some music with me that's absolutely captured their reverence. So we listen to the songs and I realize some things.
The first is that some songs work better than others in concert. Because "in concert" is a wild sonic environment. It's not an environment made for appreciating subtleties and details. It's a crafted experience. And within that experience, certain things are possible and certain things are not.
I listened to one song that was simple in its production that would definitely land in a concert environment (which caused and still causes me to remember another such song that failed in that environment but I know why it failed). I listened to another, quite different song with spoken vocal loops and complex rhythms that would also fully land in a concert environment. And we did talk about the kinds of songs that wouldn't work as well and why. Among which are songs that are dense in language that doesn't get processed in real time when competing with complex music arrangements and just the energy of the room.
In a live environment, each word of a song can land and land hard... as opposed to other songs where the music might not be memorable and most of the words can sort of mentally slip by without leaving evidence of having been heard.
Or even written.
We kept listening because suddenly I was learning a lot. Having an insight-fest. As in traditionally what's crafted for record is performed for a live audience. The best recordings, of course. The most popular. Which makes sense in a prior world with older technology and different assumptions.
But how about this?
Certain creative endeavors are best experienced as recordings
Certain creative endeavors are best experienced live, and
Certain creative endeavors can exist at their best in both circumstances either as is or in some variation.
Meaning...
Release some efforts for recording only. Release some efforts for live experiences only. And release some efforts for both.
And then a fully formed experience came to me.
Why?
I'm guessing because of the critical mass developing during this moment of insight upon insight. So now I have an idea for the stage production I've been considering the last coupla weeks. Doesn't have to be the beginning of the show... but it can be.
The idea is based on one of the songs in the stage production that references the city of Paris. Which made me think of traveling. Which made me think of family vacations. Which made me think—because I'm of a certain age—of family vacation slide shows of old. Or family vacations as captured on 8mm film and shown in the living room with a projector.
And so on.
Later, I was talking to the composer of the stage show, pitching them my idea on how that piece of the show could work. And then they had an idea of how they thought what I described could be performed another way, each idea leaning into a different objective for the audience experience. Which is great. Because they're trying to craft an audience experience. And where the song lands in the overall performance and what the demands of that moment are...
Will determine the how of how the song should be presented.
Anyway... it was a helluva morning.
The kind I love most.
😁
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bitchphannie · 1 year
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So, I personally follow both Phan accs and Phan criticism accs on Tumblr bc I think it’s important to not be delusional in the things you enjoy. And, I believe it’s very easy to put yourself so far up the people you idolize’s ass. It’s also very easy to just be overly judgmental. (I’d also like to state that I’ve been here for 10 years as a fan, never participated in the fandom bc it seemed very clique-y and desperately always wanted friends in the phandom.)
So, while there isn’t any critic on P*** other than that he just lets people use him and treat him like shit without standing up for himself. (Yknow, there’s very old drama of him POSSIBLY!!!! having an intimate relationship with a 16 year old when he was 21/22. But again, that’s old drama)
The major criticism happens to be very fair criticism on D**. Now, everything I’m gonna say is all from someone who very much loves D**. Every critique is basically that he’s unnecessarily rude, his new persona is very off putting and he just uses people for his own benefit other than actually maintaining friendships. Fair enough, I can definitely see where they’re coming from. And yeah, I can actually agree a bit. I do think he is behaving again like himself in 2012 where he just kept being rude to P*** and pushing him away. It’s not funny to see how he plays it off, it’s just uncomfortable, and obnoxious. He has always tried to be edgy with his own content, but honestly, it does feel like it’s a forced persona, like it’s a performance and I don’t feel like it’s his genuine self. Like, if what he’s trying to do is change his audience for older people and get rid of the minors and gain more male viewers, I don’t believe this is the right way to do it. He does need to be more himself because in dnpg videos he seems more comfortable and it’s so comforting and enjoyable to watch as a viewer. Ffs, it is true that he’s more likeable when it’s the two of them bc he’s being himself, he looks like he’s more relaxed and he’s not fucking trying hard. If it’s genuinely true that he doesn’t like YT anymore because he’s trying so damn hard. Stop taking it seriously! Just make chill vids like P***, do random shit. He could literally just upload him fucking around on the piano and we’d love it. It doesn’t need to be this difficult.
Anyway, the other thing is him basically not even trying with his friendships. It does seem to be a bit true… Because it seems everyone looks more happy around P***, they seem to prefer him and get uncomfortable when D** shows up. There’s actual complaints of him not replying back/only talking to them when he needs their help. I can’t really say anything on that because we don’t actually know what’s going on in their personal lives. If it is true, it’s fucked up and yknow, it’s not very helpful for anyone’s mental state to be isolated. It’s also not fucking healthy at all to have this inner thought that you’re better than everyone else and people exist only to serve you. Idk, to be honest it doesn’t feel like he thinks that way but certain behaviours of his doesn’t really help him out.
Anywho, those were my thoughts. I have much more, but it’s basically a broken record of what has already been said before.
I’d genuinely love to keep talking about this since I agree that’s it’s so important to open up conversations. (You can call me Pepper!)
I love that you actively search out both sides of the spectrum when it comes to the people you watch, as I feel like all fandoms can learn from both the stan side of things as well as more critical aspects as well.
I have to agree that your perspectives are valid, and just more moderate version of my own. (also I love the name pepper!)
I'm happy to be here so you guys all can have a platform to fully express your opinions on both Dan and Phil without being degraded or forced to water down your thoughts. I know personally, I can be way more intense that I would like to be on here, but I hope we can continue to have conversations like these where they are both productive and introspective in relation to these two men that we are all obviously emotionally invested in at the end of the day
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willtoledoicedchai · 5 months
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i'm iris (he/she, 20) and this is my music sideblog. main is @guppybycharlybliss i never use it though. i made this account because i exist to share love and joy and because my brain is a well oiled machine producing deranged things to say about songs&lyrics. favorite artists are. charly bliss sidney gish the mountain goats tyler the creator. underscores. a lot more but those are my top five guys right now. url is based off a joke i have with my friend about what will toledo would order at the coffee shop i work at. the iced chai would be a large and it would have oat milk and no flavor shots. here's ⬇️ a chart of my favorite albums ever in no particular order. hi :)
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(open readmore for a list of shows i've seen ^_^)
computerwife, tv girl (08/whatever/2022): bad. i don't even like tv girl that much but it was the birthday of a friend who did so i got us tickets. the speakers and sound mixing were soooo shitty live and without the buffer of admittedly really pretty ethereal instrumentation the sad guy incel type misogyny of tv girl's lyrics is a LOT harder to ignore. also my friend passed out from dehydration so we had to leave early. that experience made me think i don't like live music but nah. i just don't like tv girl. computerwife was good though. shoutout computerwife
people planet, feeble little horse, sidney gish (12/30/2022): kicked so much ass. people planet was good not super my thing though. feeble little horse RULED best band name ever also. sidney gish was like indescribably amazing. my birthday is on new years eve so seeing her live was the last thing i did as an eighteen year old and im so glad it was. she has crazy stage presence and the crowd's energy was great and i ran into my childhood best friend there. all around awesome show. kumo 99, lustsickpuppy, cowgirl clue (03/11/2023): so so so so good. all the acts were amazing but i think lustsickpuppy was my favorite just cause of how insane and captivating their energy was. there was a part where they instructed the whole audience to bark for them and we all started woofing with UNRESTRAINED energy. my friend who i was with broke his glasses in the mosh pit but said it was worth it. three super talented artists and none of them disappointed. fuck yes.
raffaela, charly bliss (04/25/2023): raffaela ruled so extremely hard live and then me and my friend went home and looked them up on spotify and they were just kinda mid. i do have to respect the stage presence required to make mid songs sound straight up transcendent live. this isn't about them though. charly bliss was (guy with a charly bliss special interest voice) nothing short of incredible. i talked to eva hendricks briefly right before she went on and she was so nice and the music sounded so good and the venue was so cool and i was going so crazy. thank you charly bliss.
john-allison weiss, mal blum (07/13/2023): awesome. mal blum is an artist that meant a lot to me growing up and i was right up front like straight up making eye contact with them throughout the whole show and the venue was pretty small and it all just felt like really welcoming and warm and important. they're a great performer. john-allison weiss is also really great i keep meaning to check out their stuff more. the two have been friends for a while and kept exchanging jokes and anecdotes during the set it was really cute. when mal blum introduced a song as "this is about ocd" i cheered REALLY hard and i think i saw them look at me like ...?. sorry mal.
slothrust, the front bottoms (11/11/2023): charly bliss was supposed to be another opener but ended up not being able to make it. how sad. it's okay though because slothrust ripped. i had only heard like two songs by them before but now i'm thinking i need to check out more they were really excellent. the front bottoms were alright! they had good energy i think i just like them more on recordings than i do live. they did a little costume contest bit and the band played the ghostbusters theme which was cute. a good time all around.
peach fuzz, charly bliss (11/21/2023): UPCOMING >:D
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