#they noticed kids like frogs and went nuts

[strawberryrock]

Hey Wayfair, quick question

Why??

#they noticed kids like frogs and went nuts #pussy out look #of course it’s 2000$ #lesbian icon #frog #frogcore #cottagecore #goblincore #frog friends #frogblr #lesbian #froggy #wayfair

[symphonicmetal101]

Over-Tired OM Boys HCs

Here's the initial thing that got me started thinkin bout the boys, but here ya go-

Lucifer

- this man, once he hits overtired, is extremely gullible, which is why he locks himself in his office until hes done what needs to be done

- also cannot keep a train of thought for more than 20 seconds and it drives him nuts

- and then he loses his focus even more because he's upset

- you tried knocking on the door once, and told him when you closed your eyes, you couldnt see and needed to go to the doctor

- man went from frustrated to concerned in a heartbeat, only after opening the door realizing how foolish he had just come across

- but now the door was open and you had access to him, and reluctantly he let you drag him to bed

- Will deny it ever happened, and if you bring it up, expect a punishment.

- Though he is grateful you made him rest so he would not become the laughingstock of his brothers

Mammon

- over tired bby will ramble until he forgot what he was talking about and space out for a solid ten seconds before snapping back

- it doesnt matter if you're listening intently or only half listening, he makes no sense what so ever.

- If you can record him without him noticing you (which is easy to do in this state) and play it back once he's rested he's either facepalming and blushy for the nonsense he spewed or he managed to pick out what he may have been trying to say and gets super excited, going off on another more understandable tangent.

- Gaming is a priority

Levi

- Sleeping is not

- Levi usually ends up just tired, not wired but dear lord when he does-

- All that energy and passion he pours into the way he speaks about anime and manga?

- Its physical now...oh and hes slightly more extroverted

- Though its a rare sight, over tired Levi works out and rambles about whatever it was that made him stay up that long, and hes doing it all in your room

Satan

- Over tired Satan is a rare sight, though it happens often, as he holes up in his room

- He gets an impulse to clean, and will tidy and clean and organize his books, though it never lasts

- and theres no escape, he will start crying if he feels you arent paying attention or if you're about to leave

- Depending on who you are, he either becomes 10000000% testier, or hes a giggly mess, there is no in between

Asmo

- Finds everything funny, but will get pouty if it came from someone he doesnt really like

- Over tired Asmo is rare, likely the rarest of all the boys to see, save for Barbatos

- but he is a chaotic little fucker

- dear god

- He will raid the fridge and pantry worse than Beel, specifically when hes on a diet-

- Then MC you're either in for one hell of a story from Asmo, most of them his not-so-proud drunk moments that he never talks about for that reason but he cant stop himself-

-his laugh sounds even more high pitched than normal, and a little maniacal, and he finds everything he says hilarious

- you will go on an adventure probably

Beel

- spaces out randomly, and also cries easily, dont point this put to him and say yes to his adventures, he'll change his mind a thousand times on the way- just go with it

- overtired Beel happens quite a bit, usually after the victory of a game and the adrenaline starts to wear off- and then he still has stuff to do

- but instead of "oh" and maybe a small laugh when he realizes what happened its more ".....oh" and then he looks like he's having an existential crisis

- you will have to physically lead him to bed after that, he's too busy thinking and slowly eating whatever is in his hand

- he snacks to keep himself awake, and poor himbo man is even more gullible than usual

- will want to cuddle, but wont ask when hes like this

Belphie

- out like a bulb immediately

- The Avatar of Sloth? Over tired? yes it happens unfortunately-

- He gets even grumpier than usual because he can’t sleep

- Then at night its just restless tossing and turning

- yes even the seemingly flawless butler gets overtired, but opposite of Asmo, he is far better at concealing it

- Usually happens when he intentionally sleeps through important meetings and days for Lucifer back to back to back

- It’s another excuse to hold you though, so he might make himself over tired more often

Barbatos

- You will see him stifle yawns

- And when given instructions, his eyes widen slightly with concentration as he whispers the instructions over and over under his breath so nobody can hear, but its clear his lips are moving

- he cannot be bribed

- he can be intimidated though, and how you ask?

- “threaten” to go tell Beel or Dia because you know full well if they were asked, they would carry Barb back to his quarters if you can’t do so on your own-

- no he will not sleep

- Usually that’s enough to convince him, but you have to stay near to make sure he doesn’t leave until he’s well-rested, otherwise he’ll leave as soon as possible and try to get back to work

- buuuut if you’re “on guard” or in bed with him- well he might have a few extra minutes or hours to spend with you

Diavolo

- overtired Diavolo is rather rare, as Barbatos is very strict with the prince's schedule

- Still though if Diavolo truly wants to keep going...all Barb can do is prepare for the future

- Which uh...just means being able to drag the prince to his quarters

- If you thought he was lively before, being overtired is kinda like giving caffiene to a squirrel for him

- Until he suddenly crashes....which, depending on how you like his company, can be unfortunate as his kick can last for hours

Simeon

- Simeon goes into zombie mode when he's overtired

- He hates to admit it, but it tales every oumce of strength to not fall asleep in the middle of classes

- Not that Luke would let him

- He's a little dazy, a little slow, but even just a power nap gets the angel going again

Luke

- Babie boy, don't stay up with the big kids-

- an overtired ten year old follows a certain progression

- grumpy, denial in need of sleep, chatterbox, chatterbox, chatterbox, chatt- oh he fell asleep in the middle of his sentence

- will not acknowledge anything in the morning, even as he walks out of his bedroom instead of the random place he slept, instead carrying on the conversation he left half finished the night before

Solomon

- hah

- he has spells

- who needs sleep?

- bastard also pushes himself too far, but disguises it with more ease than anyone else, at least until its just the two of you

- He tends to run his hand through his hair more often, fidgets more

- hes a little jumpy too, so continue with caution if you dont want to be turned into a frog-

Anyways, I know its been a hot minute since I posted anything really uh...substantial? I guess this will have to do?? I'm going to be travelling for a bit, so I apologize for slow updates, also dont have the patience to make a queue

Thank y'all for supporting me anyways, it means a lot!! Keep an eye out for the next OC Hunger Games~

Love ya!!

Masterlist

#obey me #obey me shall we date #v talks #obey me! shall we date? #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me luke #obey me scenarios #obey me thoughts

[pur-pled-aw-thor]

Same House, Different Sides

Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!Reader(F)

Summary: Being friends with the Golden Trio has its perks and of course cons. Plus being in Slytherin means someone is against you or not.

W.C: 3.7k

Warning/s: bullying, mentions of blood, mentions of self-harm, a loved one passing away..(if I miss any or got something wrong correct me, I'm willing to learn.)

A/n: this story mentions self-harm and please, if you are thinking about it, don't. Your skin is beautiful, so beautiful that it doesn't need any scars. If you need to vent out my inbox is open, have a wonderful weekend! <3

Y/n’s POV

“Oi Y/l/n! I see you’re with Weaslebee, Mudblood, and Potter again!” I heard someone yelling behind us and I walked faster. The three caught up with my speed but he was faster. He went beside me, almost in front of me, and grabbed my arm.

“I’m talking to you, traitor!” He said and I shoved him off, “Stop it Malfoy! Can you just shut up for a day?! That would be helpful!” I shouted at him and continued to walk away, I didn’t look back or waited for the trio or an answer from Malfoy, I just wanted to go to our last class.

Defense Against the Dark Arts

I entered the room and sat in front. I aggressively took out my book and turned to the lesson we have today. The trio entered the room and sat beside me, while Malfoy and his posse sat behind us. I was about to move tables but Hermione held my arm and looked past me nodding. I looked beside me and the boys smiled.

“What is it you three?” I asked, “If anything more happens, we’ll beat him to a pulp.” Hermione whispered and I giggled. I tried to look behind us without suspicions and saw Malfoy and his goons talking too.

The pink frog lady came in and the room became quiet. Hermione and I exchanged looks and exhaled. She started talking more and more about basic spells and I started to doze off. Hermione nudged me and I came back to Earth.

“I hate this class, ever since she taught it.” I whispered and Hermione just shrugged her shoulders saying she’s also tired with the same spells being taught to us, “At least we get to do other spells after.” She said a hint of mischief in her tone. I smirked and made that into my inspiration.

We know something others don’t.

“Come on, Y/n! Hurry up!” I heard Ginny at the end of the hall and I started running. But before I reached the end, a person came out of nowhere and I groaned knowing who it is.

“Where are you going, traitor?” “None of your business, Malfoy,” I said passing by him, pushing him. “It’s my business you know!” He yelled and I stopped in my tracks. I let out a laugh and slowly turned towards him.

“How dare you say that. Who are you to ask my business?” He took steps so he was behind me to block my way, “I’m a member of the Inquisitorial Squad, and I’m here to make sure you won’t lose us house points. You’re not even helping make more house points if I might add.” He said crossing his arms, I rolled my eyes and walked past him. He grabbed me by my arm and I shoved him, harder than earlier.

“Can you just, go away and leave me alone!” I yelled and he was taken back, “Please.” I added this is the first time I shouted at someone that shocked the person. Everyone is used to my caring and loveable nature. They’re used to my bravery at standing up to Malfoy but no one ever knew I can yell at him.

Especially if it is because of anger.

“Y-y/n, I’m so-“ “What?! You’re sorry now?! Sorry, can’t fix 5 years of your bullying! Sorry, can’t fix your attitude! Sorry. Can’t. Fix. Anything!” I exclaimed, stepping towards him at every word but he backs away. When I made sure his back is against the wall, I started walking- no- running away. Tears brimming, breath shallowing, and mind fuzzing. Every step of the run made it seem it was my last.

I reached the room and noticed the others are lined up, Hermione and Ron in the middle, “Come on, Y/n! They’re about to duel!” I heard Ginny say and I dropped my bag, got my wand, and wiped away a tear.

The whole room was silent but it was dismissed by Hermione’s cast, “Stupefy!” I cheered and went to Hermione. Ron stood up and went to the twins, they’re looking at him not believing what he said.

We continued training and It got my mind to forget whatever happened before I got here, I stood aside and rest for a while. Looking around, seeing other students from different houses gather up to learn how to fight, made me realize we’re all fighting for the same reason. I smiled at them and went to Hermione, “’Mione, I think I need to rest for today. Tell Harry I’ll make sure I know the other spells next meeting.” I said and she looked at me like she knows something’s up but just nodded.

I got my bag and carefully opened the door, looking side to side to see if anyone was around. When the coast was clear I walked out and went to the library. ‘I know Malfoy won’t disturb me there.’ I thought and I turned a corner and entered the library. Madame Pince smiled at me and I went to my spot. Took out my essay and started it.

I got to the part where I can’t add more to it so I stood up and went to get more books for references. I got to the last shelves and saw the book but I heard someone talking, I know eavesdropping is bad but they’re talking about Harry so I can’t help it.

“I know Potter is hiding something and one of our own is joining him. I need to know.” “You want to know because she’s always with him or just to spite him?” I lost my focus to go back to my essay and leaned back on the shelves.

“I’m guessing you’re jealous.” One of them said and the first voice started babbling. “W-what n-no, why would I be jealous of Potter?” He said trying to fix his statement but failed. “Come on, don’t tell me you’re denying it.” The second voice said and the first one got irritated. “We saw you staring at the back of her head every time we sit behind them.” “That’s because her big head is blocking the way!” “Shhh!” we heard Madame Pince from the other side of the library and they hushed down.

“Here’s another one, you keep on teasing her and grabbing her if she’s ignoring you.” “Indicating you want her attention.” “And if you keep on denying, it will just go on forever, making you miserable for not saying a word.” The two exchanged lines and I realized something one of them said.

“If you both are saying I like traitor, keep wishing.” I turned around fast enough to push a few books off the shelves and dropping at the other side. I dropped the book and ran outside the library and towards the common room. I entered the room I share with the others and noticed they aren’t there. I sat down behind the door and locked it.

“I shouldn’t have eavesdropped,” I said and I hugged my knees trying to comfort myself.

“You shouldn’t be eavesdropping, Y/n!” “Calm down, Arteus.” “No, Mom! She’s been eavesdropping and you’re protecting her?” “She’s just a kid, Arteus.” “That’s what you always said to me, Father! But you still disciplined me! And why can’t I discipline her?” “That’s it! Arteus Y/l/n, you get out of this house and stay with your Aunt!” “No! I’m the heir!” the mood in the room is turning gloomy that smiling would be deemed inappropriate.

“You are just adopted! Your Last name is Lynn, your father was a mudbood and we just got you for the sake of our name! Now, I regret that decision. You are not allowed to use Y/l/n anymore!” the silence was deadly. Arteus stood up and walked away.

“Arteus, I’m so-“ “Sorry? Y/n, sorry can’t fix anything! Sorry, can’t clean up this mess. Because of you, this family is ruined!” “Get out Arteus!” Father is pointing his wand towards Arteus and he just laughed. “Sorry and lies? This family is nuts.” “Avada Kedavra!” “No! Arteus!” I ran towards his lifeless body and father walked away. Mother made me stand up and hugged me.

I heard someone knock on the door and I unlocked it letting one of my roommates in. I wiped the tear that was rolling down my cheek and sat down on my bed, “Have you finished the essay, Y/n?” she asked and I forgot my satchel and essay back at the library. “Oh, Merlin.” “What, what is it?” “I forgot my stuff back at the library,” I said and she’s confused.

“I was in a hurry,” I said scratching the back of my head. She looked at me and she knows something’s up. “I’ll just, get it. Wait for me?” “Yeah, sure hurry up, Y/n!” I heard her yell after me and I was already exiting the common room.

I ran towards the library but carefully went inside. I went to the table but it was gone. I asked Madame Pince and she said she never saw my stuff, I nodded and walked back towards the common rooms but I bumped into my roommate and she has my essay.

“There you are, somebody brought your stuff and I got your essay! This girl keeps on running off away from me.” I ran up the stairs and saw my satchel at the foot of my bed. ‘Guess she placed it inside.’ I looked inside if anything was missing but its complete. I placed it on my chair and sighed.

-

“Just think of a happy memory, any happy memory,” I said to myself and saw the other’s patronuses frolicking around. “What’s troubling you, Y/n?” I heard Luna’s voice and I smiled at her. “It’s hard for me to think of a happy memory, ‘cause you know,” I said pointing at my sweater and she tilted her head in confusion.

“You are still capable of having a happy memory, you just need to focus on the memory, not your house.” She said and I nodded. I closed my eyes and remembered every memory I have, with the trio, Ginny, the Twins… Arteus. I opened my eyes and cast my Patronus. It frolicked around with the others, I smiled and I felt a tear slide down. I immediately wiped it away and smiled harder.

‘I miss you Arteus.’ I lowered my wand and I felt a quake. I thought it was just me but everyone stopped what they were doing. We felt it again but this time the chandeliers are shaking. I went up front and it quaked again, stronger. Stronger that the glass shattered and the Twins raised their wand and I did too. Harry went closer and closer until there was a hole on the wall. I came closer to the hole and I heard her voice.

“I’ll make short work of this.” She raised her wand again, I pulled Harry and he pulled Creevey away from the hole, “Bombarda Maxima.” A huge explosion happened and it was a good thing we got out of the way. An enormous hole took over and we saw Umbridge, Filch, the Inquisitorial Squad, and Malfoy dragging Cho.

The others stared at Umbridge and Cho, while Malfoy and I stared at each other. He was shocked that I’m a part of this but my stare at him is anger, pure anger. I clenched my hands into fists that I forgot I’m still holding my wand, Luna noticed this and she tried to open my hands and she succeeded in opening the one with my wand, she took it and looked at it.

“Y/n, your hand is bleeding.” She whispered and I looked at the wand and down my hands. I hid it away but by the time I looked up, Percy is holding Harry and Cho while we are separated.

-

“Because of Cho, we’re in big trouble.” “She was under the influence of Veritaserum, Ronald.” Hermione and Ron looked at me confused and I just sighed. “Y/n do you know your hands are bleeding?” Ron pointed out and I looked at it, “We should bring you to the Infirmary. You might get an infection.” “It’s fine, I’ll go by myself, you guys wait for Harry to come back,” I said picking up my satchel and went to the direction of the Infirmary, but when I knew I was out of sight, I took a turn and went straight down the common room.

Most of the Slytherins are out, either celebrating the downfall of Harry, going around with Umbridge like lost puppies, or just studying. I stayed here and let my hands bleed. I looked at it and sighed.

“You really should be in the Infirmary you know. You might bleed to death.” I looked up and saw Malfoy, I rolled my eyes and just stared at the fireplace. “Me bleeding to death is marvelous, I want to be free from this hell hole,” I said and he sighed. He took off to his room and I heard him close the door.

When I thought that was the end of our discussion, I heard his door open again and closing, his footsteps, and him sitting beside me. “You are turning pale, Y/n.” He said and I felt his hand holding my wrist to raise my hand and carefully tended the wound.

He started to raise my sleeve but I retracted my arm away from him. “I just need to roll your sleeves up so it won’t get wet.” “I don’t wanna,” I said plainly and he placed the rag down and adjusted himself so I’m looking at him. “Is it me? Am I the cause?” he asked and I didn’t answer.

“Y-y/n, If I’m the cause te-“ “My brother, well, family. My family is the cause.” I can’t believe I’m telling him this. I gave him my hand again to finish with the wound, he carefully rolled the sleeves up and I heard a gasp from him.

“I was around 10 that time and my brother was just a graduate here at Hogwarts. He was special, he’s in Slytherin and no one suspected a thing that he was a muggle born. Well, a perk of being a Y/l/n, I guess. He was adopted by my parents because they couldn’t wait any longer for me to be born. They only adopted a muggle born because who would abandon a pure or half-blood right?” I said trying to remember their explanations. Malfoy moved to the other side and tended the other wound.

“Anyways, he was having a meeting with the others and I was accidentally by the door. Trying to wait for him to finish. But he thought I was eavesdropping. He yelled at me that my parents went to us and they both protected me. In the heat of the fight, my father admitted he was just adopted and that he shouldn’t be talking to me like that. Father told him to go live with his biological aunt but before he could even leave the house, he-“ I felt a tear sliding down my cheek and Malfoy wiped it away. “It’s okay if you won’t tell.” I shook my head and took a deep breath.

“He died, father used the unforgivable curse on him and I was beside him when he was targeted. I went to his lifeless body but mother made me stand up and hugged me. She made me walk away and every time I remembered that scene, me walking away, crying, mind fuzzy, I feel like it was my last step. That if I look behind, I’ll faint. I started cutting myself this year. It is his 5th death anniversary. And I added more than I can handle every day because he promised me something.” I felt Draco rolling up the other sleeves and a few of them are still new.

“He promised me that he’ll be the one to help me study for my exams. That he’ll train with me before the quidditch matches. That he’ll be the one going to my graduation. But because of his passing, before I came to Hogwarts, I tried my hardest studying for exams like I have him beside me, I train twice as hard just like he wants me to, and I’ll graduate giving him all of the credit.” I felt Malfoy finishing up with the bandages and he hid the supplies away.

“Thank you, Malfoy. But you should’ve just let me be.” “I couldn’t let you bleed to death, Y/l/n.” He said and I cracked a small smile. He smiled back but we’re interrupted by the wave of Slytherins coming in. “See you, Y/l/n?” He stood up and waved. “Yeah, see you, Malfoy.”

-

“Hey, Y/l/n, Professor Umbridge is calling for you.” My roommate said and I stood up from the chair. I gathered up my stuff and she walked with me. I took a deep breath and opened the door, she stayed outside and I closed the door.

“Sit down dear.” “Professor if this is about being in the D.A, I can accept any punishment. I- I can join the others with their punishments or-“ “No dear,  the only punishment that you have is the deduction of house points, that’s all.” She said and she placed her quill down.

“I called you here because of the essay you made, it's marvelous. Because of the essay, I couldn’t make myself think of any punishments but to deduct house points but this also made your house gain points.” She said and I thought back to what happened when I left that. ‘It was incomplete and it was only 2 pages.’

She handed me a 4-page essay and I saw that it was complete, I read the other pages but it looked like it was my writing. I handed her back the papers and she smiled at me. “I hope I can see more essays like this in the future. Thank you, Ms.Y/l/n, You may go now.” I stood up and exited the room.

“Hey, how’d it went?” “She’s only deducting house points instead of punishing me.” I said and her eyes widened, “But I gained a lot of house points because of the essay.” “Oh yeah, I read your essay on the way before passing it. It’s really good, where did you get those references?” We passed by the library and we parted ways.

I went back to my spot and finished the other assignments. When I was just reading a book, I heard someone sit in front of me and I thought it’s just Hermione until I heard his voice.

“Now turn around, love.” I blushed at the name but mostly because he is wearing my hair tie on his wrist. “Chin up, Y/n.” he held my chin and he continued fixing my hair, when he’s finished, he’s the first one to smile and the first to speak up.

“So, what did she think about the essay?” I lowered my book and stared at him, “Are you gonna answer or should I wait?” “You? Did you finish my essay? Why?” “Well, I know you weren’t coming back after what happened so I finished the essay for you and returned it to your dorm.”

Then I realized it, he knew I was eavesdropping. “You knew I was-“ “Yeah, your signature hairstyle gave it away. There was a gap between a few books and I saw your ponytail.” He said and I played with the end of my ponytail. “You know you can put your hair down right? Like this.”

He sat next to me and made me turn around. He removed my hair tie but I caught my hair before it fell. He held my hand and I gently let my hair down and he fixed the back.

“And because I know this is your favourite spot to study, where you can see the whomping willow out the window and when you look inside, the never-ending shelves of books that give you comfort.” He said like I said it to him before. We continued looking at each other’s eyes and he brushed off one of the hair strands that fell. “Don’t let the strands hide your face, love.” He said and I nodded, he slowly moved his fingers away from the back of my ear and towards the underneath of my chin.

He leaned in and I did too, he gently held my face with both of his hands. It’s a passionate kiss and when we pulled apart, he has this big goofy smile. I tried to hold back my giggles but he started giggling too.

“Why are we giggling, Draco?” “Because I feel giddy inside that I kissed the girl I’ve been crushing on since 2nd year.” He said and I stared at him, “Well I’m giggling because I realized the whole time I’ve been with the trio, was only because it was the only way I can get your attention but you’re here crushing on me since 2nd year?” he nodded and he kissed me again, this time I felt safe holding his hands. We pulled apart again and he smiled at me, genuinely.

“I didn’t want to miss a chance to admit that I like you, Y/n.” “And I didn’t want to miss a chance to say, I like you too, Draco,” I said and he held my hands near to his lips and give them a peck. He held my wrists and gently rolled up the sleeves, “I will help you heal, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally, love. I don’t want to see another tear leave your beautiful eyes love.” He said and I felt a tear roll down.

“I just said my part love and you’re crying?” “No, it’s because I’m glad you’re staying even though you saw and heard the worst of me. You saw me supporting a different side of the problem but you’re here. Why Draco? Why would you do this?”

“Love, we’re at the same house but we have a different side we go with. But our love for each other is the same, and that’s important more than anything. That we love each other no matter what.” He said and I hugged him, he hugged me back and continued with comforting me. We stayed there loving each minute that passed by.

No matter which side you’re on, love will always win.

--

#draco x reader #draco malfoy #draco malfoy smut #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x female reader #malfoy #order of the Phoenix #harry potter #slytherin #slytherin common room #slytherin house #x reader

[spicedcinnamoncake]

Pins and Needles  pairing: George Weasley x American !Gryffindor Reader Summary: Who knew that the shy new kid had a way with sewing? To George, that’s pretty cool.  TW: fluffy 💕💕 2.4K Words

   You looked around your dorm and began to unpack. You came in a week after term started and you needed to unpack your things. Luckily, it was Saturday and lessons wouldn’t be a problem. Everyone was buzzing about the weekly trip to Hogsmeade in the halls, and it peeked your interest. Sure you didn’t have anyone to go with, but this could be a good way to make some friends. 

  You had just arrived in England from America, and had just started Hogwarts. Everyone was a stranger here, and you were on the lookout for some new people to hang out with. 

  You pulled a hoodie over your T-shirt and tightened the laces on your boots before locking your dorm and running downstairs into the courtyard where everybody was waiting for the sendoff. You showed McGonagall your signed permission slip and joined the group. 

  The walk was rather pleasant. You took in the scenery, all the trees with red yellow and brown leaves falling in the breeze and the sound of branches rusting against each other filled the air as you and the rest of year 5 of Hogwarts walked to Hogsmeade. 

  Hogsmeade was a cute little town, with shops and cafe’s and cobblestone streets. You walked along the cobble and followed the rest of the kids as you didn’t know the area very well. You saw a majority of people go into a place called Honeydukes. 

  From the moment you stepped inside you could tell why that place was so popular. The shelves were loaded with sweets and tricks, excited people grabbing stuff like crazy. You walked along the shelves, half of the treats you haven’t even heard of. Bertie bots and chocolate frogs and pumpkin pasties... I guess a chocolate frog sounded good. You had a few coins in your pocket, why not? 

  You picked one off the shelf and began to walk as you read the labelling. You were so distracted that you didn’t even realize the person standing in front of you...

  ‘Oof!’ You fell over on your knees, the small candy falling out of your hand. ‘Oh shoot, I am so sorry-’ 

  ‘Nah, It’s alright. Need help?’ 

  You grabbed the strangers hand and hoisted yourself up. You were met with a pair of hazel eyes and flaming red hair. This mystery guy had a spattering of freckles across his cheeks and nose. He gave you a small smile and handed you back your frog. ‘Think you dropped this.’ 

  ‘Oh, thanks.’ You took back the frog and stuffed it into your pocket. ‘Hey, I don’t think I’ve seen you before. I’m George, you?’

  ‘Oh, I’m Y/N, I’m new here.’ 

  George’s eyes widened at your accent. He grinned and fiddled with the end of his sleeve. ‘Would you want to come with me and my brother to the Three Broomsticks? It’s got the most amazing butterbeer in England.’ 

  You smiled at the offer. ‘Sure, why not?’ 

  You payed the five nuts for the frog. (You ended up getting Dumbledore) And followed George to the place he was talking about. He was ever so funny, cracking you up in no time with jokes. He told you all about Hogwarts and how you would love it there. 

  ‘So, which house are you in?’ 

  ‘Oh, I’m in Gryffindor. ‘ 

  George looked at you and beamed. ‘That’s my house as well!’ 

  You two laughed at the coincidence, finally drawing up to the Three broomsticks and going inside. You were met with the strong smell of cinnamon and coffee, and the warm air hit your skin as you went further inside. George led you to a table were a few others were sitting. Another boy who looked identical to George who turned out to be his twin Fred, another boy with red hair who was his brother Ron, a girl named Hermione and a smaller boy named Harry. 

  ‘Guys, this is Y/N, their new here. Their from America, AND their in Gryffindor.’ 

  Everyone said hello, they all seemed so friendly. You sat in between George and Hermione, who asked you tons of questions about America, which you expected might happen at your new school. 

  You all ordered Butterbeer, and Fred and George laughed as you chugged the entire mug after the first sip. George elbowed you and smirked. ‘Told you it’s good.’  You rolled you eyes and giggled. 

  From that day on, the five of you became inseparable. You always hung out, and before you knew it it was already nearing summer break. 

  ‘Ah, summer!’ You sighed as you slumped against a tree in the field you guys were hanging out in, stretching your legs out as you looked up though the green leaves. ‘I’m gonna miss you guys. Welp, at least I’ll see you guys next year.’ 

  Hermione elbowed Ron, who cleared his throat. “speaking of which, Y/N would you liked to come to the burrow this summer? Everyone does, even if it’s only for a week. Mum takes us to Diagon alley before school so we can get our stuff. It’s always fun, you should come.’ 

  You thought about it, and it did sound like fun. “sure, i’ll ask my parents, I’m sure they’d like me out of their hair for a bit.’ 

  George and Fred whooped and you smiled. This should be fun. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  You clutched the backpack on your shoulder and gulped. You had been so excited but now you were so nervous. What if they got sick of you? What if you became a burden?’ 

  You took a deep breath and stepped into the fireplace after hugging your parents goodbye. You erupted into green flames and in moment you found yourself in a slightly smaller fireplace. You stepped out and immediately recognized the voices of your friends. ‘Oi Fred! Y/N’s here!’ 

  George called up the stairs to his brother before rushing over to you and wrapping his arms around you. You giggled as he lifted you slightly. ‘Don’t suffocate me Georgie.’ You joked. George put you down and grinned. ‘Missed you.’ 

  You noticed a faint shade of red start to spread across his face. You didn’t get to think much of it though because of all the people that entered the living room moments later. You hugged Fred, Harry, Ron and Hermione before shaking hands with Mr. Weasley and received an even tighter hug from Mrs. Weasley. You met Percy and Ginny, who both seemed really nice. Percy a bit uptight, but you thought nothing of it. 

  ‘You’ll be sharing with Hermione and Ginny, just upstairs dear.’ Mrs. Weasley said, before rushing to the kitchen.     ‘Ok, Thanks Mrs. Weasley!’

  ‘Just call me Molly dear!’ 

  You smiled and turned to George. ‘Your mum’s really nice.’ 

  George grinned. ‘Need help with your bag?’ 

  ‘Nah, I’m good.’ 

  You followed Hermione and Ginny to Ginny’s room. It was small, but cozy. You put your bag down on your place on the floor. 

  ‘Nice room Gin! I really like it.’ 

  ‘Thanks Y/N’ 

  The three of you talked until Molly called you down to dinner. You made it official in your head that Molly Weasley had the absolute best cooking ever. The food practically melted in tour mouth, and you stared in awe as the dishes got cleaned by magic, washing themselves. The burrow is honestly the most magical place you have ever seen aside from Hogwarts. 

  The summer was amazing, You, George, Fred, Ron, Harry, Hermione and Ginny all going on walks and playing card games and having mini games of quidditch. Soon, it was already time to go to Diagon Alley. 

  ‘Hurry up Y/N, we’re just about leaving!’ Hermione said as you grabbed the big cloth bag out of your backpack. You and her hurried downstairs were everyone else was gathered. One by one, everyone erupted into green flames and arrived into the large are known as diagon alley. Shops lined the streets and there were people and children running everywhere. ‘Now children, we meet here in exactly an hour ok?’ Molly said, and everyone nodded. George grabbed hold of your arm and tugged you with him. ‘Seeing as this is your first time here, i volunteer to be your guide.’ You giggled and went with him. 

  You two walked and chatted, going in and out of stores. George goggled at how cute you looked when your face lit up at the box of kittens in one of the animal shops. You tugged George inside. Owls were on perches, rats in brass cages running on top of landings and down again, and the faint mewing of cats in the distance. 

  ‘Oh George they are so cute, don’t you think so!?” You cooed as you picked up a calico kitten who purred as you stroked it. ‘Your cute.’ George mumbled. ‘You snapped your head around, and he turned a dangerously visible shade of red. You smirked. ‘Your not so bad yourself Weasley.’ 

  You beamed as be blushed harder. You put down the cat and took his hand, leading him out of the store. You two were about to go back to the meeting place when one store caught your eye. ‘George, I need to go in there. I’ll be right out I promise.’ 

  ‘Slow down darling I’ll come with you.’ 

  You entered the store and you gawked in awe at the amount of fabric, thread, and buttons inside. You were practically in heaven. 

  You ran your hand down the different fabrics, checking the prices. ‘I didn’t know you were into sewing.’ George said, examining a cotton sheet. ‘Like sewing? Georgie my dear, sewing is my LIFE’. You tugged at the shirt you were wearing, made out of black cotton. ‘I made this last winter.’ 

  George’s eyes widened. ‘YOU made that? It’s so good!’

  You blushed at his appreciation. You picked a few pieces of fabric and paid, putting them in the bag and you and George exited the shop, meeting with everyone else. ‘Mum! Y/N’s into that sewing thing as well you know?’ 

  ‘Oh that’s interesting! What sort of stuff do you make?’ 

  You looked at your shirt and the bag in your bag. ‘I make most of my own clothes, like this shirt I’m wearing.’ 

  Molly looked amazed and you two gambled off about sewing and knitting and whatnot. George and Fred just laughed, George thought of it as cute though. He already had this itching crush for you from the moment he met you and the fact that you got on so well with his mum just made his heart flutter. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  It was the beginning of term, and you were now sharing a room with Hermione. Your desk was littered with scrap pieces of fabric, and scattered needles. Hermione’s was depressingly neat. 

  You were wearing a pin cushion on your arm, trying to fix the hem of your robe because it ripped when somebody knocked on the door. ‘Come in!’   

  George entered the room, his hair messed up. He must’ve just got out of quidditch you assumed. When Hermione saw who was at the door, she shut the book she was reading and stood up from her bed. ‘I’m going to go see what Harry and Ron are doing.’ 

  Once she left, you two were alone. ‘Come in, what’s up?’ You gestured towards the space next to you on your bed. George came over, propping himself up with his arm before pulling his hand away, yelping. ‘What? What’s wrong?”

  Your eyes filled with worry as George examined his hand. He picked up a small pin from the cover and handed it to you. ‘Think this belongs to you.’ 

  ‘Oh dear sorry, I’m working on my robe you see, it ripped and i was fixing it.’ You put the pin back in the pin cushion and took George’s hand into your own, gently massaging the area of impact. 

  George turned a bright shade of pink as your delicate fingers ran over his palm. ‘It’s alright Y/N.’ 

  ‘So, how was quidditch?’ You asked, resuming your work. George cleared his throat, looking shyer then usual. ‘Uh, practice was good. Speaking of which, I, uh, managed to rip my jersey on the goal post. I was wondering if you could fix it for me?’ 

  ‘Uh-huh, sure just hand it to me.’ 

  You were so engrossed in your work you didn’t even realize that George was shirtless in  front of you. You looked up when he handed you his ripped jersey. You examined the area where the rip was. ‘Oh sweetie this can be fixed in two stitches, you-’ 

  Your eyes gawked at him. When did this boy get to be so fine? You felt yourself go red, before you decided to turn it into a joke so he wouldn’t notice you being embarrassed. ‘Did you find a small hole just you could see me? Hmmm?’ You smirked, thinking you could tease him, until he said his reply:

  ‘Yes that’s exactly what I did.’ 

 You paused, needle halfway though the fabric. You looked up at him, he tried to cover himself up with his arms, his face bright red. ‘Well, I enjoy your company.’ 

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Also when did you get to be so dang hot?’ 

  You smirked as you saw him get even redder. ‘T-thanks.’ 

  ‘Your welcome... there you are, all fixed.’ You handed him the jersey, the hole all patched up. George slid it on, you watched the shirt over his abs. ‘Look in the right sleeve.’ 

  George turned his right sleeve inside out, only to see a tiny embroidered heart in light pink stitches. ‘Aw, that’s so cute!’  George gushed. You felt pleased. 

  ‘Well, I better get going.’ George said, standing up. ‘Awe man, leaving me already?’ You pulled a pouty-face, and you saw the nervousness in his eyes. ‘Of course I’ll stay.’

  You two talked for what seemed like hours, that is until the dinner bell rang. You helped George up, but not before he pressed a small kiss to your cheek. He left without a word after that. You stood there speechless, tracing the area where his lips had been seconds before. 

  You turned to your bed and screamed into a pillow. Oh merlin he kissed you! 

  The next day you caught him in the hall. Without saying a word, you managed to drag him into a quiet hallway, were nobody else was wandering. 

  You pressed him to a wall and kissed him. You were craving the taste of his lips for a while, and now you finally got his. George melted into you, he hitched you up by your legs, you wrapped them around his waist and you tangled your hands into his hair. You two had waited long enough for this, and this was complete and utter euphoria. 

  Once he pulled away, he smirked. ‘What is is?’ You asked. 

  ‘Oh, let’s just say that I’ve been on pins and needles waiting for this.’  

#harry potter #hogwarts #fluff #harry potter fanfiction #george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley x y/n #george weasley fluff

[no-goddamn-cilantro]

I've got you, Kid

Or, five times in which Tony Stark has his kid's back, and one time where his kid has him.

*One*

"Hey Penis! Penis Parker! Going to your pretend internship tonight?" Peter heaves a long, slow sigh, hitching the straps of his backpack up a little more comfortably onto his shoulders and attempts to ignore the irritating bully, increasing his pace to the exit. Alas, if nothing else can be said about Flash Thompson, it's that he's persistent.

"I bet it's just an excuse for you to hide that you don't have any friends besides that weird Ned kid." The boy in question takes this opportunity to rise to the bait and while Peter appreciates the continued staunch support of his best friend, on days like today he's nothing short of exhausted. Patrol went way past curfew and he just knew Mr. Stark was going to have something to say about it.

"Peter's internship is real! You're just jealous he gets to spend time with The Avengers." Peter could actually hear the capital letters on the Avengers and he felt a tension headache begin in one temple. Before Flash could continue berating him for the internship, Peter escapes out the door and makes a beeline for where Happy is normally waiting for him. Instead of the SUV with staid coloring, a familiar orange Lamborghini sits with the genius owner of it casually leaning against the passenger door. A single eyebrow ticks up as he meets Peter's eye.

"What's up kid? You ready for the conference this weekend?" One blink, then two. No, Peter isn't hallucinating. Mr. Stark is really here to pick him up from school. In front of God and Flash and everybody and oh my God Mr. Stark is here. Peter's grin lit up his whole face and he bounded over to the car in four long strides.

"Mr. Stark! Yeah, I-I think I've got everything," a little breathless, Peter continues to grin at his mentor, a thousand words jockeying for space in his brain and exactly zero getting air time. Mr. Stark pushes off from the side of the car and saunters around to the driver's side, leaving Peter to scramble to get in and shut the door.

Once they're on the road headed to the compound, Peter breaks the companionable silence.

"Hey Mr. Stark?"

"what's up Underoos?"

Slight hesitation, then a very quiet, "How did you know?"

With a deliberately casual handwave and shrug, the genius billionaire gives a breezy, "That guy in the chair of yours- Ted? Ed? Bread?- is pretty protective of you. I notice these things." Peter's face blooms with a mortified blush and buries his face in his hands. Chuckling, his mentor reaches over with one hand and runs his fingers through the teen's hair, disguising the gentility with a playful ruffle.

"Hey. I've got you, kid. I wish you'd talked to me about this stuff before, but you know I've always got you."

The warm glow in Peter's chest kept him warm all weekend.

*Two*

"-and son, I need you to come along in wave two with Widow and Falcon and work on webbing 'em up while they fall. Let's try to minimize property damage if we can, but civilian safety come first." Peter zoned back in just in time to hear his part, giving the Captain a jaunty wave in acknowledgement before shooting a web to the nearest building, waiting for the orange and green... Giant frogs? Giant frogs, ranging in size from an oven to a Buick, crawled out of the wormhole between two buildings and began attempting to... What was that?

"Uh... Mr. Captain America sir? Are they eating the road? And the cars?"

Over the comms comes the somehow both angry and delighted voice of Hawkeye. "You're goddamn right they're eating cars and road! They just ate a Camaro right underneath me and the asphalt underneath it. That was beautiful!"

"Do we need another talk about language, Barton?" Tony's snark was never going to get old to Peter- he snickered and began shooting webs, lifting the oversized frogs and sticking them to the sides of buildings nearby-

-only for them to begin eating through the buildings they're webbed to. "Heckin darn it!" Thinking quickly (and ignoring the suspiciously Tony-sounding laughter in his earpiece), he shot a web and snagged the underside of one of the alien's jaws, flicking his wrist just so and managing to wrap the strand of web around the- frog? Not-frog? Whatever's- mouth, effectively cutting off the wanton destruction of innocent vehicles and roads. Giving a whoop of triumph, Peter went to work on each of them that he could find, swinging between buildings and city blocks to cover as much ground as he could.

Then one of the largest Asphoads (as Peter had secretly named them in the privacy of his own mind) opened its mouth at exactly the wrong time and caught his web directly on the tongue. Immediately it have a hard jerk of its head, stronger than he'd expected, and pulled him off course. The frantic release of the now-being-eaten web and attempt at sending out a web to the next building didn't arrest his fall in the slightest and before he could do more than panic-flail, a metal arm wrapped around his chest and brought his fall to a very sudden halt. As he was lowered the last few meters to the ground, Tony's amused voice sounded in his ear.

"I've got you kid. What would you do without me?"

"Get squished by a rolled up newspaper?"

A bark of laughter and he landed gently on his feet. The Asphoads appeared to have no interest in eating him now that he was on the ground, but he still went out of his way to finish webbing up the original target.

Later, back at the compound, Barton and Sam put on a dramatic reenactment of the fall for Rhodey, complete with Peter's doe eyes and a tearful, "Thank you so much for saving the day Mr. Stark! You're the best dad a nerd could ask for!"

Well, Peter didn't exactly disagree. So it all worked out.

*Three*

His kid was gone. His kid was gone. Ash between his fingers, along with almost everyone else that was on this godforsaken rock. He was vaguely aware of a high-pitched, keening noise, before abruptly realizing it was him. He was making that sound, and he couldn't seem to stop until the violent, racking sobs began to rip through him and he bent to push his forehead into the (ash ash ash Peter's ash) dirt beneath him.

In between the sobs he berated himself.

"I've got you," he said

"Liar!" he accused

"Not enough," he knew

"Bring him back!" he demanded

"Oh God, Peter..."

The name sat like the ashes (all that was left of his boy oh my God my boy my kid gone gone gone) on his tongue, terribly heavy and burning.

He clawed at the ground, as if he could dig through the ashes and dust and, like a phoenix, Peter would rise reborn. All he did was dirty his hands and seem to tear something inside the stab wound he abruptly remembered.

Exhausted, he picked up his head and looked dully up at the blue woman that was watching him fall to pieces without so much as a hint of pity. Somehow, this steeled him against his breakdown and he stood, meeting her eye.

"Nebula, right?"

A nod, her gaze unwavering.

"What's next?"

Her voice is rough, the only sign of any emotion from the cyborg.

"We find him. We kill him. We get our families back."

Tony nods.

"We need help. Get us to Earth and we'll have it."

Without a word she turns and stalks towards the Guardians' ship. He follows, after about ten steps realizing that it isn't dust in his eyes, but his vision blacking out. As he hits the ground, he hears Nebula turn and come back, lifting him and carrying him to the ship. She's still eerily silent, but that just leaves room for Tony's last thought before he succumbs to the darkness taking over his sight and his mind.

I've got you, kid. I'm bringing you home. I promise.

*Four*

Tony and Peter are sitting in his workshop, doing what they do best- tinkering. He's letting the kid go nuts with one of his older gauntlets while he works on a new arm for DUM-E. It's peaceful, and he's quietly enjoying the light chatter from the kid as he discusses his latest Spanish test and Mr. Stark, it isn't fair that we have a test every week, it unfairly skews our grade!

He hasn't actually turned and looked at the kid in a few hours, engrossed as he is with this wiring that just isn't working for whatever reason. But the chatter is soothing, a balm to his soul that is deeply weary.

... why is his soul so deeply weary?

... what's going on in the outside world?

What time is it? Shouldn't Peter be tired? Hungry?

Tony shrugs it off and continues for a few more hours, blissful in the unanswered questions. He notices a bit of (ash) dirt smudged on his hand and for some reason (oh God my boy) it's really bugging him all of a sudden.

"Hey Pete, will you pass me a clean cloth from the bucket under your workbench?"

"Mister... Stark...?"

His hands begin to shake.

"Peter. Buddy. Cloth please."

"Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good."

His heart pounds in his chest and he turns around.

And he's not in his workshop anymore. It's Titan, and there's Peter. Bruised, battered, and scared. Looking to him. Reaching for him.

He runs and catches his boy in his arms, lowering him to the ground just as he crumbles to ash.

"Peter! No, Peter... I've got you. I had you... God I'm so fucking sorry... Petey..."

With that mournful cry he jerks awake, met with the darkness of the dead ship he shares with Nebula.

I've got you kid. I'm bringing you back. Just hold on a little longer, wherever you are.

Sick from his injury and exhausted, Tony sleeps.

*Five*

It's over. It's finally over.

Thanos is gone, back where it all began for him.

Back on Titan.

The gauntlet weighs heavy on Tony's arm, not just physical weight but the weight of purpose. The weight of promise.

He breathes deep. Lets it out slowly. Focuses on his exact desires. Personally and as an Avenger. Another breath.

Then. Tony Stark Snaps.

A serene pool stretching into infinity around a tiny Pagoda is before him. In it, stands Soul. Wearing Peter's face, but most definitely Not Peter.

"What did it cost?"

Tony stares at Not Peter.

"Everything."

Burning pain.

Exhaustion.

Then, brightness and relief.

The Infinity Gauntlet, and Tony's entire left arm, fall to the ground, burnt and mangled far beyond repair. Where the stones rested are burnt husks.

Tony doesn't care.

Standing where he fell, looking confused but unharmed, is Peter. His kid, his boy. Whole and healthy. Vaguely aware of the return of the other Fallen, but deeply apathetic to it, he rushes to Peter, wrapping him in a tight hug with his remaining arm. Peter, confused and afraid ("Mr. Stark what happened to your arm?!") but utterly trusting, hugs him back just as tightly, burying his face in Tony's chest.

The genius rests his face in the chocolate curls, whispering fondly.

"I've got you kid. I've finally got you and I'm taking you home."

*And One*

A scream rips through the once-silent hallway, waking up three people simultaneously.

Rhodey sits up, sighing and reaching for his braces again.

Steve rolls out of bed, going to stand watch outside the door with the screaming.

And Peter takes off in a mad dash towards the sound. Even though it's a nightly occurrence, it never stops the spike of terror drilled into his spine hearing Tony scream his name like that.

As with previous nights, Peter and Steve exchange nods before Peter walks through the door, hurrying to the bed where Tony is tangled in sweat-soaked sheets. Another scream escapes his throat, ending with a plaintive whine and rattling sob. Peter sits next to him on the bed, pulling the blankets and sheets off of his mentor and reaching to wake him.

The teen speaks loudly over the sobs, firm as he tries to bring his mentor back from his own personal hell.

"Mr. Stark I'm right here. You saved me from Titan. We're back on Earth. Mr. Stark, I'm right here!"

Finally, dark eyes open and lock on to Peter who opens his arms to the anticipated and much-needed hug. He still jumps a bit at the cold metal of Tony's prosthetic arm, but quickly melts into the embrace, rubbing the genius' back until the shaking stops.

Into the dark, Peter finally summons the courage to say what he's been thinking in the weeks since they returned.

"Mr. Stark, you don't have to try to be so strong anymore. You did it, you saved us. You saved me. Now let us save you. I've got you, Mr. Stark."

Peter pretends to not feel the wet heat of tears in his hair. He adds one last, soft whisper as he pretends to not feel his own tears.

"I love you Mr. Stark. We'll get through this together."

#irondad angst #irondad and spiderson #irondad #iron man #spiderson #five plus one #tony stark #peter parker #why did i write this #why did you do this to me #why did i do that to myself

[bashfulgnome]

Cookout

Hey everyone! I’ve been sitting on this fic for a while and it’s finally ready to go – just a fun little summer story with the Core Four. Enjoy!

Summer was winding down, and the four of them saw fit to have one last barbecue that weekend. Litwak was out of town for a couple of days–he'd figured that the usual patrons would be on vacation anyway–so they certainly weren't short on guests from neighboring games who wanted to join in on the fun. The atmosphere of Fix-It Felix Jr. buzzed with activity, from the various Nicelanders milling about to the visitors enjoying the friendly afternoon company.

Some of the troops from Hero's Duty joined the Sugar Rush racers in Niceland Lake for an impromptu game of chicken while Q*bert and the other East Nicelanders looked on. Vanellope swam around cheering on her game-mates, but occasionally split off into the weedy side of the lake, curiously observing the wildlife. Ralph hung around the shallow ends, making waves for the smaller sprites to ride, and keeping an eye out for struggling swimmers and brewing fights.

Tamora helmed the grill, clad in her "Kiss My Ass" apron–as such a crowded gathering demanded–and having set out a batch of burgers and hot dogs in neat rows. The chopmeat was a donation from Burger Time, courtesy of Peter Pepper himself, in exchange for Tamora's assistance in ejecting a rowdy patron from the establishment the week prior. The sizzling little slabs of meat created a pleasant white noise that drowned out Gene's distant blathering about the limited selection of beverages. Between the soothing sound, delicious aroma, and the focused task of minding the food's status, grilling put her in a calm state of flow.

Her husband had spent most of the morning running between the apartments and the picnic area, carrying supplies and pre-prepared food back and forth, and managing the guests who would occasionally stop in from the lake for a snack. She hadn't seen much of him while she was setting up the grill–usually just his hat peeking over a stack of paper plates with legs–but she knew where he was from the tune of his jolly whistling. To match his special lady, he'd decided to wear his own "All The Fixins" apron for the occasion. Felix was in Special Event Mode, and there was very little that would convince him to slow down.

Amidst all the activity, Vanellope scampered along the path from Niceland Lake to the picnic area. She had formulated a plan for the day and her underwater reconnaissance was complete - but there was one missing piece. This wasn't a chance that came around every day, so she'd need some special equipment. And with Felix occupied, she'd have an easier time acquiring it.

"Sarge." The child saluted, her face unusually serious.

"Prez." Tamora returned the gesture. "What's up?"

The racer glanced around the cooking area but didn't see anything immediately suitable for her mission. She'd have to stall. "Whatcha puttin' on the burgers?"

"Onion, red pepper, garlic powder, salt." Tamora counted off the ingredients. "Just exper– MAC! Get the hell off him, you drown him and he won't regenerate!"

The girl followed the suddenly-yelling sergeant's line of sight to catch a glimpse of a startled Marine rolling off his panicking comrade's back and splashing into the water. Ralph, who had been in the process of separating them, gave Tamora a thumbs-up. She waved back in acknowledgement and muttered something under her breath.

"Anyway," she sighed. "Just experimenting this time. Got a request?"

Vanellope scrunched her nose and continued scanning the area. "Oh. I thought you guys were gonna use basil?" The racer recalled the small, fragrant plants she had seen in the couple's garden.

"We tried growing some out back, but Norwood's cats kept pissing on it. So that was a bust." She shrugged and pointed her spatula towards a small bag. "I got brown sugar though. That up your alley, kid?"

Vanellope spotted a spare plastic container on the picnic table behind them. Perfect. "Uh, yeah, sure, love it. Hey, can I borrow that empty bowl thing?"

Tamora had begun to notice Vanellope's shiftiness and raised an eyebrow, leaning over. "What for?"

The miniature president looked around before standing on her toes to reach the woman. "I wanna see if I can catch something cool in the lake," she whispered with a grin.

Well, there were no snakes in there, as far as the sergeant knew. Other than Coily on his inner tube, of course. "Yeah, I don't need it. Go nuts."

"Thanks!" She picked up the container, holding it above her head in triumph, and dashed off back to the lake before Tamora could say anything more. The sergeant laughed to herself. She was looking forward to seeing how this scheme turned out.

In the meantime, Felix surveyed the area with his hands on his hips, and let out a relieved sigh upon seeing that everything was in order. Ralph hadn't needed any help with lifeguarding, the places were all set, and a few of their neighbors had begun making their way to the tables, enticed by the scent of the pending meal. There was only one more situation to tend.

Tamora felt a light touch on the side of her leg and smiled, not needing to look down.

"Hey, Felix."

He took hold of her free hand and squeezed it gently, running his thumb over her knuckles. "Need anything, darlin'? I can get you some ice cream if you'd like."

"Standing in front of this grill, it'd be a puddle in ten seconds. But thanks for the offer, babe."

"Are you sure? You've been taking care of the burgers all afternoon. If you feel like goin' down to the lake to cool off, I can take over for you."

She glanced down from her work and saw the little guy wearing that worried puppy-dog expression of his. Of course, she thought. All the prep work, setting up the tables, keeping the guests occupied, and his most pressing concern was still making sure she wasn't mildly uncomfortable. She laughed softly.

"Don't worry about me, shortstack. I’ve got a rhythm going here,” she replied, leaning down with a smirk. “But I'll take you up on some dessert and a swim later tonight." Tamora grinned and pulled down the brim of his hat.

He blushed at the sudden change in tone. "W-well, I guess we do both need to unwind–"

"Get it out! It's biting me! GET IT OUT!"

Interrupting their moment, Ralph came stumbling towards the startled couple from the direction of the Niceland Lake, hopping from foot to foot. Vanellope followed close behind, pointing and giggling at the wrecker's predicament as he attempted to dislodge something from his swim trunks. Ralph finally grabbed the leg of his garment and shook it out, producing a large and terrified frog, which the racer scooped up before any of the adults could stop her.

"Vanellope, tha–haha–t wasn't very nice," Felix sputtered out as he tried not to giggle.

Tamora, who made no such effort, paused her grilling to fully appreciate the spectacle.

"Hey, nice one Prez!" she shouted through snorting laughter. "Where'd you find a frog that can bite?"

The diminutive president was too busy laughing to respond, and it became clear that the prank was not over. As Ralph continued hopping, two small, young ducks fell out of the other side of his trunks. They flailed on their backs, quacking in annoyance as they righted themselves in a flurry of feathers. Luckily for Felix, the ducks were most concerned with distancing themselves from Ralph, and took off chasing each other towards the lake.

A loud whistle and hearty laughter rang out from the other end of the picnic area, catching everyone's attention. "Very good dancing! Make DDR friends jealous!" Zangief clapped at Ralph's unintentional performance.

Ralph's face flushed, and he quickly turned back to his best friend. "Kid, you really gotta calm down with the pranks. Someone's gonna get hurt."

Tamora resumed grilling. "Yeah, if those trunks fell down we'd all be stricken blind."

"Not helping, Sarge!"

Vanellope pouted. "Hey, I picked out the smallest ones for you Ralphie!"

"Vanny, believe you me, those duck bites really sting. Even the little ones, they get everywhere..." Felix shuddered.

The four of them heard a familiar grumble from one of the nearby tables.

"Ralph, I am trying to enjoy this outing in peace, and I would appreciate it if you and that" – the mayor squinted at Vanellope – "child could make your commotion somewhere else. Some people just have no class."

Ralph and Vanellope shared a wordless exchange of a raised eyebrow and a devious grin.

"Gene, why don't you go find something fun to do instead of givin' them a hard time?” Felix had really hoped the drink selection would keep the mayor in better spirits, but to no avail. “Nobody's using the gazebo, if you want someplace quiet."

"I'm just saying that there's a certain level of propriety expected in–"

He was cut off by a quiet splat as the frog Vanellope tossed landed on his face. The Nicelander went silent for an instant before sputtering and thrashing himself out of his seat.

The wrecker high-fived his partner-in-crime and they both took off into the lakeside woods, peals of laughter ringing in their wake. Gene attempted pursuit once he had extricated himself from the poor amphibian, but thirty years on his own had made Ralph more familiar with that forest than anyone else in the game. The mustachioed man emerged after a futile couple of minutes, muttered his way back to the table, picked up his drink, and stormed off to save face.

Tamora smiled. "Guess that saves everyone some grief. He hasn't stopped complaining all day."

"I'm startin' to think that's his hobby," Felix replied sheepishly. "But he's gonna be back for dinner anyway; said somethin' about sitting with Don and Mary. I'd better go round everyone up–"

"No need." The sergeant put two fingers in her mouth and let out a shrill whistle that cut through the air to the far boundaries of the game, making Felix jump. "Food's done! Everybody come stuff your chewholes!" she hollered.

Working together, Tamora and Felix laid the cooked meat out on buns while the guests lined up. Once they got a seat at the tables, Vanellope sat on Ralph's arm, eating the chips he'd scooped out of a snack bowl on their way to the grill.

"So, satisfied? You got Gene and me today."

She nodded. "I think I'm good for now."

Vanellope eyed her buddy’s meal, suddenly noticing the unusual way he adorned his burger. "Ooh, what's that?"

"Mustard, pickles, and chips. Makes it crunchy. Here, you wanna try?"

"Yeah!" She took a bite of the savory burger and hummed with satisfaction. "Oh! Try a piece of mine too!" She tore off a chunk of the patty and handed it to him.

"Mmm, not b--agh! Too sweet!" He chuckled took a bite of his own burger to clear out the taste. "Couldn't resist one more jab at me, huh?"

"Hey, it's an honor. Savor it." She pinched his cheek and quickly glitched away when he playfully swatted at her.

Tamora snatched the racer in midair and casually placed her back down on the picnic bench, as she and Felix finally took their seats next to the pair of friends. "To surviving another summer rush," she toasted, holding her drink aloft.

"And many more!" Felix added, the others cheering in agreement.

---

Tagging my WIR buddies: @ask-icancraft-it @ashleybenlove @sgtcalhouns @allthefixins @coneygoil @kittysfigurines24 @cy-bug

Let me know if you would like your name added to the tags for future fics!

#wreck it ralph #wralph #vanellope von schweetz #fix it felix jr #sergeant calhoun #hero's cuties #my fanfics #fanfics

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Bedtime Stories- Part 2

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,322

Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, language, angst, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

Another attack under your watch. Another person in the hospital, hurt, because you, Sam and Dean couldn’t figure it out fast enough. You were still clueless as you were yesterday so as hard as you tried, you couldn’t figure out what you were hunting.

You decided to visit the newest victim, Julie Watson, who was attacked in the woods with her boyfriend, Ken, who died. You were walking down the hallway with the brothers when you saw two real deputies walk out of the room Julie was in. You bit your lip, knowing that if they saw you in what you were wearing they might ask questions and that wouldn’t be good for you.

You and the brothers turned to each other and started whispering, to make it look like you were just there to visit someone. The deputies didn’t seem to notice you and walked past you without a second glance. You let out a sigh of relief before breaking apart and walking into Julie’s room. She looked like a mess and you hated that she was in so much pain of losing someone she loved.

You could feel her pain.

Dr. Garrison from when you saw Kyle, was talking with a crying Julie.

“Please, please,” she pleaded.

“Shh. Hey, we need to observe you while the drugs still might be in your system.” Dr. Garrison stated.

“I have to go. I have things to do, arrangements I need to make!”

“It can wait. Now you need to rest. Stay. I'll be back in a few minutes,” Dr. Garrison said, turning around before spotting you. “Ah, Detectives.”

“Dr. Garrison.” Dean nodded as a greeting.

“What the hell is going on here? My whole town is going insane.”

“Trust me, we’ll let you know as soon as we do.” You promised him even though that was a lie. Dr. Garrison nodded and sighed, leaving you and the Winchesters to talk to Julie.

“Hi, Miss Watson? We just need to ask you a few questions.” You said gently, showing her your ID badge, Sam, and Dean doing the same.

“Do we have to go over this again? Now?” You hated how broken she looked.

“We'll try to be brief. Miss Watson, can you tell us how you got away?” Sam said, getting right to the point.

“I didn't eat as much as Ken did, so I wasn't as out of it. And, when the old woman was... carving up Ken, I shoved her, and she fell. Cracked her head on the stove,” she paused to take a few deep breaths, to take this all in. “She's dead, right? I-I killed her?”

“Do you have any idea why she'd do this to you?” Dean asked.

“No! One minute she was a sweet old lady and the next she was, like, a monster.” Julie explained. You bit your lip and knew that Ken and Julie were attacked in the woods. When you replay her words in your head over and over, this story sounds familiar.

Two people, a male and a female, walk through the woods to find a little cottage with a sweet old woman inside, asking them if they’d like to come inside for sweets. They trust her and then she turns on them, eating them both.

You weren’t big on childhood stories but this sounded like… no, it can’t be… that was only a story… right?

“Can you remember anything else?” Sam asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Um, yeah, did you find a little girl there, by any chance?”

“A little girl? At the house?” Sam asked, confused. You were confused by this detail but it still didn’t deter you from your suspicions.

“I thought I saw her outside the window. She, she just disappeared. Just vanished, into thin air.” Julie explained. Sam and Dean looked at each other but you stared at Julie, trying to piece her story together.

“This disappearing girl—what did she look like?” You asked.

“Does it matter?”

“Yes, every detail does,” Sam said from behind you.

“She had this dark, dark hair and really pale skin. She was around eight. She was a beautiful child. It was... odd to see her in the middle of something so horrible.” Julie said with a sigh. You knew she was tired and you nodded, backing up a bit.

“Thank you for your time,” You walked away, Sam and Dean following you out of the room. “I think I might know what is going on here but we need to see that house.”

“You got it,” Dean said, leading the way to the car. Since the crime scene was known to the public, Dean already knew where to go. When you got there, your suspicions were further solidified. You got out and sighed, running your hand through your hair.

“Wanna tell us what you’re thinking, sweetheart?” Dean asked, walking next to you.

“Yeah, in a minute. Let’s just see if there is sulfur anywhere outside before I say anything.” You said, walking off to the right side of the little cottage. Sam and Dean walked the other way and when you met back in front of the house, it turns out all three of you were empty-handed.

“Alright, no sulfur, then let’s try EMF inside,” You suggested, walking inside the crime scene. It was still a little bloody but your theory was looking pretty good at what was going on. Sam was waving the EMF around, trying to figure out if the little girl was a spirit or not.

“Anything, Sam?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, it's going nuts. When I went over here by the window... There's definitely a spirit here.”

“Who stood outside the crime scene and watched,” Dean commented.

“Looks like,” Sam shrugged.

“Okay, here is my theory,” you said, making the brothers look at you. “Fairy tales.”

“Oh that's—that's nice. You think about fairy tales often?” Dean teased you.

“I’m serious Dean,” You said.

“Wait, I know which one you’re talking about,” Sam said, taking a step to you.

“Would someone like to enlighten me?” Dean asked, hating the feeling of being out of the loop.

“Dean, come on. A guy and a girl? Hiking through the woods? An old lady tries to eat them? That is Hansel and Gretel. Now that I think about it, Kyle and his brothers, they were construction workers. They built houses. They were attacked by the Big Bad Wolf.”

“Three Little Pigs.” Dean voiced your thoughts.

“Exactly.”

“Wait, I thought these things ended happily?” Dean asked, confused.

“Well, the newer versions fit for children and bedtime stories, yes. But the originals? Hell no,” You said, making Sam take over.

“See, the Grimm Brothers’ stuff was kind of the folklore of its day. It was full of sex, violence, and cannibalism.” Sam added to your thought, making Dean sigh.

“So, you think the murders are uh, what? A re-enactment? That's a little crazy.”

“Crazy as what? Demons and ghosts and shit?” You pointed out.

“Touché. Then how is the creepy little girl involved?”

“Um... Well, she must've been here for a reason. I'm willing to bet you top dollar she was at the construction site too.” Sam said.

“We gotta do research now, don't we?” Dean groaned and you and Sam both nodded. He sighed and finished up with what he was doing at the cottage before walking back to the car to head to the library. Now that you knew what you were dealing with, the question now is how can you stop it?

You, Sam and Dean split up to figure out what exactly you were dealing with. You went with Dean to the library and Sam went around, going to police stations and trying to see if he could uncover anything. You hoped that Sam was having good luck with this because you and Dean spent the past six hours in the library, coming up with jack shit.

“God damn it! I am going out of my mind!” Dean growled in frustration, closing the book he was reading.

“Don’t worry, we will figure it out. We always figure it out. Let’s take a break and go see if we can find Sam.” You suggested and he agreed with you. You shut down the computer you were using and put the books back where you found them before exiting the library.

You found Sam walking towards you guys and when you met, you knew he found something but you didn’t know if it was good news or bad news.

“So?” Sam spoke first.

“We checked every record they had. Found the usual amount of violent childhood deaths for a town this size.” Dean informed him and you three began walking to the park that was across the street.

“Okay,” Sam sighed.

“Wanna know how many how many were little girls with black hair and pale skin?” Dean asked his brother.

“Zero.”

“Zero! You wanna know how many how many little girls with black hair and pale skin that have gone missing? Right again. Zip. zilch, nada. Tell me you've got something good because we’ve totally wasted the last six hours.” Dean said with a sigh. You three walked into the park and strayed from the trail.

“Well, you ever hear of Lillian Bailey? She was a British medium from the 1930s.”

“She got a thing for fairy tales?” You asked Sam.

“Nah, trances. See, she'd go into these unconscious states where, um, get this, her thoughts and actions were completely controlled by spirits.”

“A ghost puppet master.” You said.

“You think that's what this kid is doing? Sending wolfboy and grandma into trances, making them go kill-crazy?” Dean asked.

“Could be. You know, kind of like spirit hypnosis or something.”

“Trances I get, but fairy tale trances? That's bizarre even for us.” Dean said, still skeptical. You and the brothers stopped walking when you found a bullfrog in front of you, croaking as if it wasn’t bothering anyone.

“Yeah, you're right. That's completely normal.” Sam said with an eye roll, looking at his brother.

“Alright, maybe it is fairy tales, totally messed-up ones, but fairy tales. Hey, you wanna be the princess that kissed the frog?” Dean joked, nudging your shoulder.

“Hell no.” You immediately said, looking away from the frog and to Dean.

“Hey. Check that out.” Sam said, pointing to a house across the park. You and Dean looked in that direction and didn’t notice what he was pointing at until you saw a pumpkin sitting on the porch.

“Yeah? So, what, it’s close to Halloween,” Dean said, walking with you and Sam over to the house.

“You remember Cinderella? With the pumpkin that turns into a coach, and the mice that become horses?” Sam pointed out.

“Dude, could you be more gay?” Dean asked and Sam gave him the biggest bitch face Sam has ever given him.

“Sam, this is just a pumpkin. I mean, I’m not dismissing your theory or anything but how can you go off of just a pumpkin?” You asked, ignoring Dean’s earlier comment.

“Let’s find out, shall we?” Sam said, walking to the front door and got on his knees. He started to pick the lock and you and Dean blocked him from anyone that could see him. He got the door open soon and you walked in behind them, shutting the door.

“Well who knows, maybe you'll find your fairy godmother?” Dean teased his brother. Sam rolled his eyes and Dean smirked, knowing it bothered him. You split up from the brothers, walking to the kitchen, on alert for anything that might happen in the house.

Dean and Sam split up as well, trying to find anything out of the ordinary. Suddenly, you heard a noise come from inside the kitchen and you took your gun that you always had from behind your back and held it in front of you. Sam and Dean joined you when they heard the noise as well.

“Help I'm in here!” A female voice said from inside the kitchen. You opened the door with your gun raised and saw a teenage girl handcuffed to the oven.

“It's okay. We're here, we're here. We got you.” Sam said, immediately rushing to the girl to help her. He took out his lock pick kit to unlock the cuffs.

“You have to help me. She's a lunatic.” The teenage girl panted.

“What happened?” Dean asked while you checked the kitchen out for anything wrong.

“My stepmom, she just freaked out, screamed at me, beat me. Chained me up.”

“Where is she now?” Sam asked as he worked.

“I don’t know.” You sighed and looked out the kitchen door to see a little girl with black hair and pale skin looking at you.

“Dean, Sam,” You said, catching the attention of the brothers. They saw the little girl, just as she was walking away. You followed her, keeping your gun out. This must be the little girl who Julie was talking about earlier. You walked into the living room where you saw the little girl go but she walked out of sight. You rolled your eyes, not in the mood for this bullshit.  

You walked through the house, looking for the little girl. When you walked into the dining room and didn’t see her, you knew something was up. You heard a creak come from behind you and you turned around, seeing the little girl there, staring at you.

“Who are you?” You asked but didn’t receive an answer from her. She continued to start at you until she started flickering like a spirit does. She vanished from sight, leaving a red apple in her place. You looked at it and picked it up, knowing what this meant.

Red apple meant Snow White. The wicked step-mother poisoned the apple which in turn, poisoned Snow White. Was this little girl poisoned by her mother?

Series Rewrite Junkies:

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#supernatural series rewrite #bedtime stories #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester angst #spn series rewrite #dean x reader #dean fic #dean fanfiction #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fiction #series rewrite #season 3 episode 5 #s3e5 #s3e5 spoilers #spoilers #spn #spn spoilers #supernatural #supernatural spoilers #sam winchester #bobby singer #ruby

[mistyheartrbs]

good luck wizards

so on december 20th, 2017 aka last night i thought “aw man it sure is weird that all disney channel sitcoms take place in the same universe!” and then literally ten minutes later i was knee-deep in writing a really gay wizards of waverly place/good luck charlie crossover fanfiction in tweet format. and i loved doing it. 

so here it is, my masterpiece, good luck wizards 

a/n: some background: alex and teddy are roommates at whatever unattainable college teddy ended up going to and i have been mad about stevie’s death for six years now

"she just died," alex whimpers to teddy one night, curled up in her arms with two cups of magic hot cocoa in their hands (winning the wizard competition has some perks - learning the spell to keep hot cocoa warm indefinitely is one of them) "i could've done something." 

"they put her back together. it's okay." 

"it was like i could hear...laughing. nobody cared. nobody mourned her."

"yeah that's pretty terrible." 

"wizards suck, teds. don't get mixed up with them." 

 "i'll try." 

"should i...should i visit? i haven't seen her since..." 

"why not?"

"guilt. it took like, six months. i could've probably done it in half the time. messed up, man." 

"where is she now?" 

"wizard juvie. i dunno." alex starts making loops with her wand, little tendrils like snowflakes following her motions. it's lovely, teddy thinks. "probably being made to clean up after slime toads or whatever. the wizard world's got some cra-appy punishments." alex's voice lilts on "crappy," and she jerks her wand sharply upwards. teddy tries not to flinch. "help me out with a spell, would you?"

"okay?" teddy wonders if this is like that time gabe asked her to "help" with a "harmless prank." it's probably worse. 

"just sit here and take my hand when the portal opens.” alex raises her wand. “when the world slips apart and wants to see me / take me there to go to my friend stevie." a portal opens in truly bad 2007 cgi. they go in. 

"that was a really bad rhyme," teddy deadpans as the two of them fall through the void. 

"i'm working on my original spells, okay? it's an ~experimental style~"

"whatever you say."

and then the portal closes and they land. not very gracefully. on top of each other. it's not wizard juvie, and it's not some slime frog habitat, either. it's a little apartment. dusty and dim, with a faded rainbow flag hanging on one wall. a funny-looking dog skitters across the floor, and its footsteps echo around the room. 

"susan?" a familiar voice calls out. alex freezes. "hey, i said i was gonna...oh." stevie nichols stops dead in her tracks at the two intruders. "hi."

"i'm just gonna..." teddy awkwardly backs away to go back into the portal, only to realize it's not there anymore. she pokes at the air anyway. it's fraught with tension, alex and stevie staring at each other.

"took you long enough," stevie finally grumbles. "i thought you'd forgotten." 

"i wanted to," alex admits. "it's easier to just bury that sorta thing down deep, though, isn't it?" 

"yeah."

teddy stares helplessly at the blank wall. she needs to leave before this gets bad. 

"it was like i was asleep for a while," stevie murmurs. teddy notices a few weird little cracks in her body. "after that happened. and then i wasn't. and i was in wizard juvie."

"i could've broken you out," alex realizes. "the dynamic duo at it again, right?" she laughs hollowly. "but they all wanted to forget about you! and you were dead! they'd have thought i was nuts."

"for trying to help?"

the wizard world is really truly messed up, teddy thinks. 

"with the competition and everything, it took me forever to even find out you had a chance of coming back, and i tried to tell myself that was enough. i mean, if it was enough, i wouldn't have to see you again, right?"

"and you'd forget just like them. move on with your life." 

"exactly." 

"that's a crappy thing to do to a friend, dude."

"maybe i didn't know if we'd be friends after this stuff at all!" alex snaps, and then she claps a hand over her mouth. teddy crouches behind a counter - it's all she can think to do to get out of this awkward situation, since there's no clear door.

"i don't give a flying fruit bat about what most people think. but you, stevie, you were like some kind of visionary! and how could i face you after i betrayed you and then let you die and then tried to forget?" 

stevie still isn't moving.

"do you ever think maybe i wonder about what would've happened if none of that had ever been a thing? we could've been two wizard kids and just, like, lived. maybe we could've gone on a date or something, i dunno." 

stevie turns red and her cracks start showing again.

"i would've liked that, too," stevie croaks. it occurs to teddy that maybe stevie doesn't talk much anymore - living in what's apparently another dimension consisting only of her apartment with just a dog present seems awfully lonely.

"open the portal, open the gate," alex says suddenly, and stevie recoils at the sight of the wand like it's a weapon. "take me and stevie to our first date." the three of them are whisked away.

(PREVIOUSLY ON GOOD LUCK WIZARDS, alex entered the lesbian dimension and teddy third-wheeled for an argument)

"that was a better rhyme," teddy says, trying to keep pace with alex and stevie as they walk. stevie looks at her strangely. 

"do i know you?" she asks. teddy feels vaguely threatened.

"yeah, yeah, she looks just like justin's vampire girlfriend, it's weird, we've been over this." alex rolls her eyes, and stevie looks at her warmly. "real weird. i know." 

"if it helps, i don't know much about wizards at all," teddy offers. she looks around - it's not like the last portal, where they were falling through a purple void. instead, it's just a white space, with fog bunching around her ankles.

"she's my roommate. i got dropped into all of this stuff after she showed up."

"so you've still got your powers. i guess you won the wizard competition?" stevie looks alex up and down. "and you're going to college?"

"contrary to popular belief," alex drawls, "our lives don't end after we graduate high school. i spent two years having a good time doing wizard stuff, and then i got up off my butt and applied to some places and bam! new friend."

"how'd she find out about...all of this?" stevie gestures to the space they're in. even though she's asking alex the questions, teddy feels like she's the one being interrogated, somehow. 

"that was my bad," alex admits. "i thought she wasn't gonna show up until later, so i went and used a teleportation spell and..." 

"there i was," teddy finishes. "have you guys ever noticed how all of your magic looks like something from a low-budget movie?"

"we've noticed," alex and stevie say in unison, and then they look at each other and laugh. teddy feels like she's intruding on something. 

"hey." alex stops in front of a massive door, patchy and glowing. "we're here."

"whoa, whoa, whoa." stevie steps back. "you didn't tell me we'd be stopping at your house first." 

"i mean, yeah. what, did you think i'm actually a good enough wizard to just get us right to where i wanted to go?"

when we get back to college, teddy thinks, i'm getting her some lessons in self-esteem. 

"besides, my folks aren't even around half the time. max runs the shop now."

"max. great." 

"what's wrong with max?" teddy had met max, once, when he'd visited their college. he seemed nice enough, if a little bit of an idiot.

"he-" 

"made a really bad mistake," alex intervenes, and she seems to realize why this is such a bad idea. "i'll sneak you past him."

"better than being trapped in that apartment, i guess," stevie sighs, and follows alex through the door. teddy almost stumbles back into the wizard world when she sees the room - it's dark and cluttered and nothing at all like her pastel-colored rooms back home.

"aw, c'mon!" alex moans. "did dad really rearrange everything? if he's here i'm gonna give him a piece of my mind, i'll tell you what." 

"you know, i think i'm just going to stay here," teddy says.

"nope." alex takes her by the arm and all but drags her out of - what the heck why is their living room in a vegetable cooler - and into a brightly lit diner, with stevie close behind. max looks up from a magazine. 

"hey," he says. stevie narrows her eyes. max stumbles back. "o-oh," he mumbles. "hey, stevie." 

"hey, squirt." stevie pushes past him for the exit. 

"sorry for killing you!" max calls behind her, but she can't hear him.

"okay!" alex claps her hands together and lets out a long sigh. "where to?" 

"for what?" 

"for our date, you doofus. what do you think 'me and stevie's first date' meant?"

"seriously?"

"yeah." 

"okay, what about . . . the movies? i can't really see movies in the apartment but i hear about 'em. is Bird Dude 3: Revenge of the Birds still playing?"

"Tender Vampire Romance is out now, too," teddy says, too quiet for either of them to hear. 

 "i've been meaning to see that one!" alex exclaims, starting to grin and very much ignoring the other suggestion. "this one's too scared of horror to go with me." she jabs a finger at teddy, who feels a little bit insulted. 

"i can do it," she says, since apparently she's not getting out of this situation, probably doomed to be a third wheel forever. "i mean, it can't be that scary after seeing magic, right?"

"it's decided!" alex bends down, plucks her wand from her boot, and starts to wave it around. "whether it's the first, second, or third," she starts, "let us see the movies about birds." they're whisked away again.

and then they end up in the movie theater. more specifically, behind the ticket counter. on top of each other. 

"now that's just overkill," stevie mutters. "isn't the movie theatre like, ten minutes from your house?"

"dad says i've gotta start working on my teleportation skills." 

"they're obviously not great," teddy groans, from underneath stevie's boot. 

"plus, this one's got a bonus." alex holds up a bowl. "baby tomatoes!" she cheers, and stevie's eyes light up. teddy leers at the bowl.

"they're just regular tomatoes?" she asks. "not, like, actually infants from a sentient tomato species you weirdos eat for fun?" 

"what? no!"

"what kind of monsters do you think we are?" stevie adds. teddy shrugs. "we just like 'em because they make us feel like dinosaurs. rawr, i'm eating a tomato. woo." stevie pops one in her mouth. "man, i've missed these."

"they don't have baby tomatoes in your apartment dimension?"

"nope. just regular-sized tomatoes." alex claps a hand over her chest like she's been wounded. 

"what kind of sick torture is that?!" stevie shrugs. 

"eh. could've been worse. i could've been dead for longer." 

"listen, guys, i'm loving this feelings session, but we're going to miss the movie if you keep up like this." teddy points to the showtimes. "and if i stay stuck in this ticket booth for another two hours with you lovebirds-" 

"crap! birds! stevie, we've gotta go!" alex takes stevie by the hand and drags her out of the ticket booth down the hall.

apologetic, teddy slips a twenty-dollar bill on the counter. hopefully it'll be enough. she runs after the pair of wizards and they just barely make it into the theatre before the previews start. teddy stops a few seats above alex and stevie.

Bird Dude 3: Revenge of the Birds starts and it's truly awful. but teddy can hear alex and stevie laughing from their seats, so that's something. it's a whole lot of something, actually.

***

"... and then when the bird dude jumped out and went 'rahh!' i could hear everyone screaming!" alex cackles, and stevie laughs with her. 

"okay, okay, but what about when his enemy the lizard gal punctured his throat?"

"that was so good!"

"they need to make a movie about lizard gal. she's the best." 

"aww, does big bad stevie have a crush?" alex teases. stevie elbows her, hard.

"tell me you didn't see something there between her and otter lady."

"when it comes out on dvd, we have to have a movie night at your place. all three bird dude movies, back to back!" alex is happier than teddy's ever seen her, but stevie's smile drops, and teddy can see the cracks again. "i'll even bring baby to-"

"you can't." 

"what?" 

"you can't bring stuff to the apartment. stuff appears, like the dog and the flag, sometimes when i want it or need it or whatever, but not from other people."

no wonder wizards keep their world a secret from everybody, teddy thinks. they've got some terrible rules. 

"you shouldn't have even been able to show up. at wizard juvie, sure, but the apartment? i'm supposed to be alone."

"maybe it was the power of love," teddy offers unhelpfully, half-meaning it as a joke but half-wondering if it's true. from the way alex and stevie actually ponder it for a moment, it seems like she's hit the nail on the head.

and then she walks off before alex and stevie can turn her arms into jelly or something like that, slipping behind a massive cutout of the leads from Tender Vampire Romance. she's in way too deep to stop now.

she watches as alex's face crumples in defeat. as stevie just stands there. as a few people pay them odd glances. 

"we can do something," alex says. "we have to." 

"we really don't," stevie says. "it's okay."

"hey, when did the bad girl get so sweet?" alex awkwardly nudges stevie with her shoulder. "the old you would've taken the offer and run with it." 

"i guess i've changed," stevie says. "being alone in an apartment dimension gives you a lot of time to think."

"that still sucks, by the way," alex scoffs. "that's, like, worse than wizard juvie."

"yeah." 

"i'm gonna visit, okay? a lot. and we can keep going on dates out here and stuff. you're not gonna be alone." alex clenches her wand in her hand. "not on my watch."

"that's my cue to leave, huh?" stevie sighs. "it was nice seeing you again, russo. i hope you'll keep that promise, but i get it if you-" and then alex kisses her, and teddy has to put her hand in her mouth to hide her excitement.

stevie sinks deeper into the kiss, and for a moment they're just two girls in a seedy movie theatre, with no magic or anything. 

"been wanting to do that for like three years," alex breathes, once she pulls away and stevie is shellshocked. "it's just as nice as i thought it'd be."

"wait!" teddy yells, and both of them turn around in surprise. "uh, stevie, i've known you for like four hours? but i don't think you deserve to be . . . alone, like that. come with us. i'm okay with it." 

"seriously?" stevie points at her.

"sure, you'd have to hide and stuff since i guess legally you died in 2011, it wouldn't be great or anything, but you two would be together, and that's what's important, right?" 

"you're too nice for your own good," stevie laughs, but she's holding alex's hand. "okay," she finally says. "as long as everyone's okay with it. alex?"

"another wizard in this place? heck yeah!" alex pumps her fist and kisses stevie again, and teddy feels an odd sort of warm swelling in her chest. it's a disney ending, and a lovely one at that.

"are you ready?" alex asks, and both stevie and teddy nod. "okay . . . through the world we might roam . . ." 

"this is pretty bad," stevie whispers to teddy, and she nods in agreement. "it's kinda cute." 

 ". . . let us now go right back home." 

they're all whisked away.

#wizards of waverly place #good luck charlie #stalex #or whatever that ship name is #natsuki's terrible disco pants

[theweddingofthefoxes]

"I wish you would write a fic where... Matt and Kylo are foxes"

(Heavily inspired by David Sedaris and his love of his fox friend, Carol)

Techie has always loved foxes, ever since he was a kid. Fox plushes, Beanie Babies, plastic toys. Fox costumes for Halloween, repeated viewings of Robin Hood until the VCR practically tore the tape to pieces. In college, he got a tattoo of a fox on his thigh, bright and alert with sunbeams shooting out from behind its head. But he’s rarely seen foxes in real life– they just don’t live in the city where he and his brother reside. They went to the zoo once, and he practically sprinted to the arctic fox house, only to be crushed when he saw the sign that said she was off display because of a minor illness. 

But fate has finally taken pity on poor Techie when he and Armitage rent a cabin in the rural part of the state, on the edge of a lake where nobody vacations because the nearest Target is an hour away and the only places to get food are the dusty roadside stands selling peaches and corn but not shaving cream or underwear. This, surprisingly, is exactly what Armitage wants. “Let’s just get away,” he says, possessed by something, most likely the spirit of work draining him. So they get online and find this place, where Armitage plans to lie in a hammock, drink blueberry wine, and read for a solid four days.

Techie is too restless to do that for more than a couple of hours at a time, though, so by afternoon, he’s ready to go walking around the woods. Not hiking, he’s not quite fit enough for that, but walking, yes. Birdwatching. He’s seen birds of prey, lazy hawks the color of dry summer grass and owls sleeping, hidden so cleverly that Techie has to do a double take, and little birds, cardinals and fat chickadees and birds he can’t really identify. The lake is thick with frogs, a sheet of chirping croaking noises, and a butterfly the size of Techie’s hand flits by when he makes his way down the hill to the stony lakeshore. 

And there– there they are!

He isn’t expecting foxes, but there they are, two of them down maybe fifty feet, at the edge of the water, snapping up a fish, one trying to steal from the other. The thief lets out a yap, frustrated the other one won’t give in. They’re not the bright orange foxes Techie always thinks of – the thief is the color of yellow cake batter, and the other is sooty-black. But they’re foxes, sure as anything, and they haven’t seemed to notice him, and Techie stays still as he can.

The one with the fish takes off running back into the woods to enjoy his prize, and the yellow one rolls onto his back, wiggling and snapping his teeth in irritation. Techie hardly dares to breathe. He should have brought his phone, to snap a picture, but it’s a gift just to see them at all. Finally, the yellow fox rolls back to his feet and trots off, and Techie heads back towards the cabin, almost shaking with his excitement.

Armitage shares his excitement when he tells him about the encounter, but he maybe shouldn’t have done that, because his older brother sees through his after-dinner plot right away.

“Tech, what the hell are you doing with your leftovers?”

“Just, tossing it outside,” Techie says, trying to sound like the picture of innocence. “It’s not junk, it’s all biodegradable. Why fill up the trash can?” It’s true that everything on the plate is fine to toss – an apple core, some chicken bones with a little meat still attached, peanuts and trail mix– but Armitage gives him a look that says he knows exactly what the fuck Techie is up to. “What?” Techie asks, his voice pitching way up, forcing that ignorance.

“You cannot feed those animals. They are not your pets.”

“I’m just composting!”

“No feeding those foxes,” Armitage continues, heading to the living room to find a comfy spot to sit and listen to music. “They’ll get reliant on people and then they’ll be worse off.”

Techie supposes that’s true, but he’s not really feeding them, not like you’d feed them by hand. He’s just making sure they have food, especially that buttercream one who might not be as good of a hunter as the other. So he leaves the chicken and fruit and nuts a safe distance from the porch, and once he’s sure his brother is asleep, he pours water into a cereal bowl and sets it beside the plate, and waits. And waits. 

He’s just nodding off in one of the dining room chairs, positioned by the open window beside the sink, when there’s the sound of something crunching – yes, sure enough, it’s one of them gnawing on the chicken bones! He peers out the kitchen window to see which one it is. The yellow one, which he finds the most deserving somehow. The little thief, he crunches the chicken bone and gobbles up the trail mix in just a few quick bites, then laps at the water in the bowl. Techie looks away for just a minute, just so he can adjust his position, get a better view, and then his entire body jolts when he sees a tall, blonde-haired man standing in the place where the fox had been standing. He claps his hand to his mouth, somehow more concerned with bothering his sleeping brother than afraid of this stranger.

The guy looks up, gives an unconcerned smile, and there’s a cranberry stuck in his teeth. “Thanks for the water,” he says, low and almost sheepish. “You got any beer, maybe?”

Techie shakes his head, then says, even in his confusion, “Um. Wine, though?”

“Wine works.”

Techie pours it in a plastic cup and the blonde guy downs it all in one gulp. 

“You’re an angel,” the stranger says, still smiling that little smile. “Maybe I’ll come back, yeah?”

“Um?”

“I mean, you left all this stuff out…”

“For the foxes.”

“Well, I hope not for both of us. One of us is more deserving.” The guy hands the red cup back in through the window and gives Techie a nod. “So, if you do it again. I’ll come back. Kay?”

Techie nods, disbelieving, and the man turns, and in the blink of an eye, the buttercream fox is dashing into the woods, leaving the empty bowl and the bone shards lying in the yard, the air thick with the sound of frogs.

#my fic #anon #hux #techie #matt the radar technician #kylo

[shmosnet2]

Truly Outlandish Encounters with Reptilian Humanoids

Truly Outlandish Encounters with Reptilian Humanoids

Some of the most far out and truly outlandish humanoid encounters on record are the many reports floating around out there of what can only be described as reptilian, bipedal lizards of some sort. There is a actually a wealth of accounts of these terrifying, monstrous entities out there, which while varying in some aspects of appearance all describe extremely bizarre, reptilian humanoids. Such reports are usually weird, often baffling or terrifying, frequently absurd, sometimes absolutely bonkers, and always beyond any easy explanation. Here we will take a look into the very bizarre world of sightings of bipedal lizard man humanoids. We will start with some reports from way back in the 1950s, and one of these was recounted on the site Phantoms and Monsters, by a woman who claims her great aunt had told her of this experience. One day she was visiting this great-aunt, who lived on a rural farm in the Southern United States, and asked why she always sat out on the deck with a fully loaded shotgun near at hand, and that was when the elderly woman told of a truly terrifying experience she had had in the 50s. She told her that one evening their dogs and farm animals had suddenly all gone nuts, restless, panicked, and making a racket outside. Dogs were barking, pigs were squealing, and it was just an utter cacophony of noise, making her think that something was very wrong. She then says she grabbed her shotgun and headed outside to check it out, and that was when she would come face to face with something that would change her forever. The woman says of her great-aunt’s rather dramatic account: She didn’t see it immediately, but when she looked toward the barn (and there was a big pond on the side of the barn), she saw a ‘frogman’ as she called it, coming up from the side of the barn. It was walking toward her. It wasn’t that tall. She stood maybe five foot four inches. It was a little bit taller than her. He had webbed hands, and it was walking straight to her. She yelled to it to stop, but it kept walking. She stepped of the porch with her double barrel shotgun and she shot it dead. The blood of the reptilian was green. Her husband heard the shotgun go off. He came outside. They were elderly at this point. When he stepped of the porch, she said “Look I killed something, I killed something, and it is not human.” They walked out there to the side of the barn. She and her husband buried the thing. We asked where was it? She said that they buried it right where they killed it, near the barn. After they buried it, the animals got quiet again. Her husband told her not to tell anybody that story.

The story doesn’t even end there, as a month later she says that her and her husband saw a blue UFO fly over their house and land nearby, after which more of those frog-like creatures came out and headed towards the barn where their fallen comrade was buried. The lady would say of what happened next: They came out of the ship, and they went straight to the mound where they had buried this thing. They put their hands over the ground. This dead frogman thing, that she had killed, came out of the ground. It wasn’t alive, it was dead. They took that thing, and they put in on the ship. Then they went over to the pond, and they raised up their hands and a space ship came out of the pond. That pond was bigger than a regular size pond. It was almost the size of a small lake. They looked at them (the great-aunt and her husband) but didn’t say or do anything. They went back on the ship and zoomed back into the sky. That is why she always kept her double barrel shotgun always next to her. Even when she went to the chicken coop, or anywhere else, she always kept her shotgun with her because they might come back. Quite strange, to be sure. In 1954 there is another report from man who says that at the time he had been working with the US Naval engineers at Zaragoza Air Base, near Zaragoza, Spain, as a contractor refurbishing the NATO base. It was his first time in Spain, and at one point he took some of his off time to visit a historical monastery called the Monasterio de Piedra, near the rural town of Nuevalos. He would meet up with a woman who offered to guide him around the area and they set off on a hot August day, with the scenery proving to be so enchanting that the witness decided to stay another day, checking himself into a local inn. That evening he decided to take a stroll around the rustic inn and its adjacent vineyard, finding his way down to a nearby stream with only a flashlight and the moon to light the way, where he saw something run through the water around 50 feet away. He couldn’t make out what the figure was at first, and sort of wrote it off as maybe an animal, but as he continued on his way he began to hear a strange sound emanating from the dark, which is described as sounding like a loud, guttural “Yak Yak Yak.” He climbed up over some rocks trying to figure out where the otherworldly sound was coming from and says he came across an opening in the rock face that held within a grotto about 15 feet deep and littered with the bones of small animals, which took on a rather sinister ambiance in the dancing beam of his flashlight. He figured that it was probably the den of a fox or some other predator and was on his way again, and this is where it all gets quite bizarre indeed. He says of what would transpire: I continued on the trail until I heard the ‘yak yak yak’ sound again – and it was very close. I instantly stopped walking and started searching around me with the flashlight. Just then, some gravel landed on me – and the loud ‘yak yak yak’ sound was coming from above me. I quickly looked up and pointed the flashlight. There was a creature standing on a small ledge about 15 ft. away, staring at me with yellow eyes reflecting back. It was screaming ‘yak yak yak’ in quick constant rhythm. This was the most ghastly thing I’ve ever witnessed. It was standing on two legs and was about 4 -5 ft tall. It was dark in color and had arms like a human. The face looked like that of a lizard – resembling that of an iguana. After a few seconds it leaped off the ledge onto the trail – swiftly running on 2 legs in the opposite direction. It was then that I noticed a long tail as it moved away from me. I quickly made my way back toward the inn – and directly to my room. I laid in bed thinking about this creature the entire night. I was terrified to look out my window, fearing that it followed me back to the inn. Early in the morning I checked out and drove back to Zaragoza. I have no proof to my experience other than my word. But I now believe that this was a Reptilian creature.

Moving on into the 1970s, we have another report from Phantoms and Monsters of an experience that apparently happened in 1978 in Dubois, Wyoming. The witness claims that he had been in the region to go elk hunting, camping along the way in the rugged back country. He says that it was as he was doing a run to town in his vehicle to stock up on supplies that the strangeness would begin. As he drove along the remote, gloomy road, he claims that he came across a man walking along in clothes that were wholly inadequate for the cold weather waving his arms wildly, and when he pulled over to see if the guy needed a ride the man looked terrified of something, and begged the witness to get him out of there. The witness was afraid that the man was in serious trouble, so he let him into the truck and that was when he noticed that the man’s clothes were torn and he had scratches over his body. He was also frantically searching the tree line for something unseen out there, and the witness was alarmed at all of this, asking the man what had happened. When he had gotten some composure, the stranger then came out with a truly freakish tale, of which the witness relates: “You O.K. buddy?” I asked, he stared at me for many seconds and just broke down crying like a little kid. “Yah, but don’t think I’m crazy man, I just had some shit happen and I ain’t going back there for nothing, I hope the guys are O.K.”. He composed himself some and started to explain: “I am hunting here with two buddies, and we always hunt below Brooks Lake when we come to Wyoming. Usually we get Elk or Deer, never go home skunked here, just love it. I was going along a trail I been on many times to get to a small overlook to sit awhile. It was their turn to push (the Elk) to me. I was almost there when I walked past this stand of three trees close together and on the other side was this huge Lizard, it was standing easy over 6 1/2 feet tall, golden/bronze color with a vest and short metallic looking briefs. I could tell it was a male I guess, and he had a black thing in its clawed hand. It eyes were like a cats and it had a tail. I just stood there with my rifle in my hands across my chest froze kinda like. I was looking into the face of death, I just know it. I coughed a little and its arm with the black thing came up so fast I could hardly see it. Something hit my whole body from my feet to my head and I fell back on the ground, I dunno if I flew or fell I just went backwards. It came slowly walking up to me I could hear it and could only move my eyes slightly as it came into view, it just looked down to me it’s mouth slightly open making a low hissing sound and its forked tongue slightly coming out of its mouth. Its head turned down looking at me and did this for a few minutes, I could hear it breathing, see the nose holes working, see it’s chest, muscles tensing and relaxing all over its body, I was just froze there looking up, I couldn’t look at it directly and I couldn’t close my eyes very easy either. It’s expression never changed only the eyes moved sometimes slow like sometimes so fast you could hardly see ‘um. On its sleeveless shirt it had a kinda O with a smaller, screwy offset Y and Z I think, it finally walked away down the trail. I dunno how long I laid there, from the sun movement it was maybe a couple of hours. I could hear the forest sounds, birds, wind, trees, animals going about their day like nothing happened, I would will my arms or legs to move hell, even fingers. When I could move every muscle in my body ached as I would use it, like after a workout at the gym or something. I knew if I went downhill I would come to the old creek bottom and hopefully not see him again. I did that, I followed it to the canyon bottom and then to the road and you. Thanks again, don’t make me get out. I took off my coat, I guess I forgot my rifle, cap, I don’t need them. I hope Jake and Bobby are O.K. I heard something following me when I first got up, it was real heavy sounding and would stop when I stopped and once or twice I could hear breathing like “it” did, kinda a raspy wheeze sound. I would start running or walking again, I couldn’t rest. He told me which motel to let him off at and I did, he thanked me many times and got out and went in the office. I never seen him again. I thought about the fantastic story and wondered if true, but it could be right? I didn’t hear anything about someone having problems anywhere around town that fall.

Considering the very dramatic tone, one wonders if there is anything to this report, but it is certainly quite weird. In 1984 there was another encounter from the National Cryptid Society, from a witness called “Kelly,” in Honey Grove, Texas. She says on this evening she had put her daughters to bed as usual, and was lying down trying to fall asleep when her dogs started snarling and growling in a very menacing way, as if they were very scared of something. Listening carefully, she could make out the snapping of twigs, and her first thought was that her daughter’s pony had gotten out of its enclosure. However, it would turn out to be something far stranger, and the witness says: My eldest daughter had a Shetland pony, so in my mind I thought the Shetland had gotten loose. I got up out of bed and I went to the front door. My front door had nine panes of glass in it. Right caddy cornered from me, 25 feet from me was a streetlight, a very bright streetlight. What I saw walking across that street I will never ever forget. I saw a lizard standing on two feet with his back to me. It was just like looking at a chameleon, if you would blow it up to 7 feet, and its tail was humongous. He had crossed the road. His tail was so long that it was still halfway in the road. He was gray. I could see scales. His arms, for lack of a better word, went between his hip and his knees. He was just nonchalantly walking across the road right under the streetlight. Across the street from me were houses. Behind those houses was a sawmill. I was in shock. I had never seen or experienced anything like this before my life. My world was black and white with no gray. He never looked my way. I never left the house. It put me in shock. I was totally in shock that night. As a matter of fact, I didn’t go to sleep for the rest of the night. I just stood there looking out. I was looking at my front door long before and long after he had passed beyond my field of vision. What was this thing? A very odd encounter comes to us from 1993, from a witness who says this happened at Atlantic Coast Beach, in the United States, where one evening she was out for a leisurely stroll. There had been no one else around at the time, and she thought she was alone until she noticed a group of people some distance up the beach. At this point she thought nothing of it, and just kept walking, drawing ever nearer to those people and slowly realizing that there was something very off about them. The first thing she noticed was that they were all bald and they had on unusual attire for the beach, which was composed of camouflage tan and green military BDUs and tan vests with many pockets, and as she got closer still she could see that these figures were not human. She says: Though their general appearance was humanoid and they walked on two legs, they were clearly not human; their skin was mostly green and they moved with a sharp, keen alertness more akin to the movement of nervous iguanas. I could see that they were all male and apparently soldiers of some sort. We stared at each other. I could clearly discern their reptilian appearance, their reluctance to approach me, the hesitation, and the nervousness. It felt dangerous. The reptilian leading the group came forward, toward me, and I continued walking at my regular pace toward him. Our eyes connected and did not disengage during the entire incident. I remained alert and aware throughout the event. The remainder of his group stayed behind. He and I continued to approach each other until we were less than one yard apart. He stood at least six foot tall, medium build, no hair, eyes the same size as mine but a brightly colored yellow with dark vertical slits, and his skin was rough and scaly with a greenish-brown hue.

This is already pretty outlandish as it is, but it manages to get even weirder, as the reptilian then is claimed to have made some sort of telepathic contact with the witness. She says of this: As we looked intently into each other’s eyes, I knew he was accessing a computer bank in his mind; one that was not his individual database, but a group mind sharing the same knowledge. Quite suddenly, his expression changed (and I first saw this in his eyes) to one of contemptuous tolerance. In other words, there was some reason he was forced to tolerate my presence, but he was not happy about it. Accessing that database in his mind gave him the information he sought and then he knew me by name. With recognition, he said, “Oh. Hello Bonnie,” and we shook hands while he frowned contemptuously. My eyes never left his and his eyes never left mine. I smiled, as I always do, and turned around to walk away. He also turned back to his group and they walked up the beach away from me. This report is so off the wall as to be almost absurd, and it leaves one wonder what was going on here or if it even really happened at all. It is certainly one of the stranger reptilian reports I have seen, and that is saying something. Getting on into more recent years, we have even more far out encounters. One of these was reported on Cryptozoology News, and comes from 2014, from a witness who says that he had been out mountain biking with some friends out in the Sonoran Desert, Tucson, Arizona at the time of their encounter. They had been out biking along a fairly remote trail called the Old Pueblo race course when they stopped for a break and then noticed something rather odd out on the track ahead. One of the witnesses, a “G. Johnson,” describes what they saw and what happened next thusly: All of a sudden we see this long figure walking across the trail. He is maybe about 6-foot tall, very very skinny, and it had an awkward gait, like a monkey…or a man with a disease, almost robotic, kind of. He stopped and it made eye contact with me and I could see him clearly. The eyes were kind of like a snake’s, but black and with a yellow stripe in the middle of the eye. It had green and red scales on the face and head. The red color was kind of like the same as the desert sand there, and it looked like it had a sandy texture too. It didn’t have a nose, only two holes on it. I couldn’t see any ears or hair. A red mouth that looked like it had blood around it, but it didn’t look like it was bleeding, it looked like a pattern. It reminded me of a chameleon, but it looked like a person too. He looked like he was examining us and then he ran into the desert. We thought about going back the same way we came, but we thought it didn’t matter, since we were in the middle of the track anyway. We were scared, to be honest. None of us had ever seen anything like it. It lasted only a few seconds, but it felt longer than that, at least to me.

There are two separate reports from 2016 as well, one of these being from a witness in Los Banos, California, who gave his report to the National UFO Reporting Center (NUFORC). He says that in July of 2016, he was driving from San Francisco down to San Diego, along with his friend and her friend’s son. They were southbound on the I-5 freeway, headed through a very barren area which is all monotonous grassy hills and rugged scrubland with no buildings and no one around for miles, and one of them suddenly pointed out something ahead. There walking along the side of the freeway was a person wearing a “a thick black monk/death looking robe with a big hood,” despite the fact that it was a sweltering hot day. He says that they were all wondering who that character could be and why he was out in the middle of nowhere with a thick hooded robe on in stifling heat, and as they passed she had to get a look at the person’s face. It was then that he was shocked to see that it wasn’t a person at all, and he says: So as we passed it, I had to get a good look at this person’s face, so when I looked at it, it looked back at me. And what I saw chilled me to the bone. In this dark heavy hooded robe was a being that looked nothing human. It had brownish green scales with a short snout and its eyes were large and blackish that glistened in the sun. It was unmistakable even at about 100 feet away and it looked right at me with no expression. It wasn’t carrying anything or had any equipment with it and it was walking slow and awkward as if it were looking for something. I was scared to death, especially when it looked right at me, I thought maybe we should pull over and confront this thing, but honestly I was frozen and we kept driving. I had asked my friend if she had seen what I had seen and her 12-year-old son in the back of the car and they verified the same thing. I am not sure if other vehicles traveling down the road with us witnessed this sighting but it did happen and I am willing to swear an oath on it. NUFORC claims that they did a follow-up by telephone with the witness, and they came away with the impression that he was a reliable witness, impressed with his eloquence and apparent sincerity. Also in 2016 is an account from Phantoms and Monsters from a witness who saw some sort of lizard humanoid as he was driving north on I-55, near Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana at approximately 11:15 in the evening. He was apparently driving home alone along a rather dark and lonely road when something came flying out of the night to etch itself into his memory. He says: About 100 yards ahead, I saw something crossing the highway from my left to right. When my headlights lightened it up, I swear I saw a walking lizard man. It walked like a human on its feet and was greenish-brown shiny skin. The huge thick tail was prominent and reached the roadway. The body was that of a man – same arms, legs and head – maybe 6 ft tall. It swiftly crossed the highway. I lost track of it when I passed by. I still can’t believe what I saw.

Of course with such a range of surreal accounts we are left with not really much to go on in terms of a pat answer, and the phenomenon of reptilian humanoids has seen all manner of ideas and speculation tossed around. One idea are that these are a species of alien, and indeed reptilians are often mentioned right up along with their more common “Grey” aliens of popular culture. There is also the notion that these are creatures passing over from some other dimension, crashing into our world to startle and frighten before phasing back out to from whence they came. In some reports this might be indicative of some sort of unidentified mystery creature that has eluded science, or relic populations of bipedal dinosaurs. These could also be thought forms, or images brought into reality from our own minds, called tulpas, and which can appear as anything the mind can conjure up. Other more fringe ideas include that these are some sort of trickster spirits messing with our heads. Of course, maybe there is nothing to it at all, and it is all just tall tales. No one really knows, and as long as reptilian humanoid reports continue to come in with an absence of any real evidence we will probably be doomed to a limbo of pure speculation for some time to come.

https://ift.tt/2DSeImV . Foreign Articles December 05, 2019 at 01:28AM

#. Foreign Articles Truly Outlandish Encounters with Reptilian Humanoids

[ughandalso]

Little

Last weekend my husband and I took our three-year-old niece to see an orchestra concert. We're not idiots because of this! (We're idiots because we’re getting a puppy this weekend.)

It was a Christmas concert and lots of kids go to it, plus Santa arrives at the end. There is a sing-along portion and as orchestra concerts go it is sort of seat-of-the-pants. For instance, if a kid started wailing in the middle of it, you'd notice but you (probably, anyway) wouldn't be annoyed.

I bought us balcony seats because while not "cheap" they are the least expensive tickets available for the concert, and I knew that we might need to leave early. However, right as we were about to take the last flight of stairs up to the balcony, a man stopped us and asked if we wanted three box seats instead. So, on my niece's first-ever trip to the orchestra, she got to sit in the front of a fancy private box. KIDS TODAY.

Anyway, she did great. She did get bored a few times ("Are we done? I want to go back to your house") but three is really little! I do not remember the first time my parents took me to such a concert but I suspect I was older than three. After the concert she spent the night at our house and that was all fine, too.

One thing my sister-in-law often says about my niece is that she's "fragile today" or "delicate today" which, I'm given to understand, means that she's acting like a three-year-old. Sometimes I watch their interactions and I think about how it's actually very stressful to be a tiny kid and not know how to do or handle almost anything. It was similar to how I felt when I read an article about how puppies feel very anxious to "get things right" because they want to please you so desperately. MY HEART IS NOT MADE FOR THIS WORLD.

Anyway: because little kids don't know how to do anything it can feel very frustrating when they want to "help" you do something, like when my niece wanted to help me make waffles. She helps her dad make them every weekend so I guess she actually does know "how" to, for example, stir the batter, but in truth, she kind of sucks at it. I'm not being mean! It's just that the concept of stirring batter is still really new to her and she's very small.

So: she stirred the batter and once she was done I took the spoon and stirred it a few more times to get the lumps out. She said – not sadly, just matter of factly – "I guess I didn't do it good" and I reassured her that she had done a great job and I appreciated her help. But my heart still went out to her, she's just doing her best.

The night of the concert, I stopped by her parents' house to pick her up. Once they got her all gussied up her mother wanted to take a picture of her in front of the Christmas tree, which my niece was not at all interested in doing. Thus began a negotiation: just stand next to the tree. Just smile. Smile nicely. If you don't smile for a picture, you can't have a snack in the car.

Predictably this ended in tears, but not burst-into-sobs little kid tears: rather, my niece was standing in front of the Christmas tree in her princessy little dress, head tilted back, hands pressed under her eyes to stem the flow. OH HONEY, WHO AMONG US! I have literally felt this way at the grocery store as recently as a few weeks ago. I felt deeply for her, sympathized with just wanting to get through something and having the world be at odds with your desires.

At some point my sister-in-law turned to me and said, "This is probably how it's going to be all night," and while I got her frustration, I also felt really bad for my niece.

I'm not my niece's parent, and so I get to be a "fun" adult who is safe and reliable but also does not have to care too much if she doesn’t feel like brushing her teeth. I mean, she's not allowed to go nuts at my house, either – she gets reminded that seats are for sitting and occasionally must be frog-marched into the bathroom before she wets her pants out of terminal FOMO – but she’s not mine, with all that brings, so I can be lax about some things. (For instance, two cookies at bedtime and lots of crappy Tinkerbell cartoons and I also may have taught her how to ask Alexa to play a song called “Up Your Butt with a Coconut.”)

Our puppies and toddlers are all out here just trying to get through the day, pleasing people and trying to do things good. It's killing me to carry around this knowledge!

[ecotone99]

Mike the Monkey [FN]

Mike the Monkey

Chapter One: Nuts

Any other day it would have been normal to swing around, walk about, snack on 'nanas, and talk about the weather. However, this day, when all was said and done, Mike the Monkey went on a little adventure. He went past the line of trees his mom told him was the boundary, and soon he would find out why she set those limitations. The journey was simple until he came upon something he had never seen before. He witnessed a squirrel eating a strange nut, with a crazy look in his eyes. When the squirrel noticed Mike, he offered him a piece of the football-sized nut. Mike's stomach tingled with nervousness and excitement like he had never felt before. Should he taste it? What if it's bad for me? Those were his thoughts. Well, I'm never in this neck of the woods, why not? That was the thought that followed. He took a big bite and the squirrel scampered away. "Hey where are you going?" exclaimed Mike. No response. He took another bite, dropped the rest, and started to swing his way back home when he felt something foreign. "I feel alive!" he said to himself, seemingly out of nowhere. He began recognizing how green the leaves were and how beautiful his home, the forest, was. He stopped near a stream to enjoy the beauty of the magnificent waters. Then he swung the rest of the way back home. Except, Mike didn't feel so fake. It felt warm and Mike relaxed his body as his mind raced. The next day Mike went back for the nuts that made him feel so alive the day before. Matter of fact, he went back for fourteen days straight. Each time becoming higher and deeper into what the neanderthals called, enlightenment. He began to go a little crazy, talking with bumblebees and running with the deer. Maybe he wasn't crazy at all, maybe he was exactly where he needed to be when he needed to be there. Next, in an attempt to rid his mind of the racing thoughts via physical exertion, Mike hopped in a river in an attempt to swim upstream. This worked, but only for a moment. He was being washed down the river rather violently. He attempted to latch on to logs but that didn't work. He was headed straight for a waterfall. With a last-stitch effort to not be flushed into a pit of more freshwater, Mike held onto a branch hanging near the waters. The branch screeched and snapped. Down the waterfall he went. The next thing Mike knew, he was in bed. He ached horribly all over. Bruised and battered but luckily he was alive. Friends and family visited him over the next few days. Finally, his uncle, who saved him from drowning came to visit. 'I've been following you, I ate the nut when I was your age... Keep fighting the good fight." Then his uncle vanished along with everyone else. Mike went into a deep sleep and when he woke, he had stories to tell.

Chapter 2: Freddie the Frog

"The first one goes something like this," announced Mike, sitting up in bed.

Freddie the Frog grew up jumping from lilipad to lilipad. Eating bugs and flies with his brothers and sisters. Freddie didn't realize it, but since day one he was a better jumper than his siblings and cousins. He would hop over lilipads, similar to how humans skip stairs when they run up them. "Hey Freddie, you've got some serious hops, I'm gunna enter you into the Amphibian Olympics this summer." This made Freddie anxious and he trained and trained. The day came for the competition and he was mad nervous. He threw-up his breakfast. When it came time for his turn to jump and compete, Freddie was nowhere to be found. His brothers, sisters, and cousins searched, but couldn't find him. He was disqualified from the Olympics. Freddie tuned up a day or two later. "Where the hell have you been?" "Well, I came across a toad and he taught me how to meditate so I've been meditating,' responded Freddie. "Turns out I'm not meant to be an athlete, I just want to live in peace." After that day, Freddie was careful to jump on every lilipad in his path, not skipping any anymore. "I just want to be a frog." Years later, Freddie competed in the Senior Olympics and won the silver medal. He didn't regret a thing and went on to train the most elite frogs in the swamp.

Chapter 3: Manny the Martian

"This next one hits a little closer to home for me... or is it further? Well here goes."

Manny the Martian was wondering around his home turf of Mars when a space bird told him he should visit Earth and that he might like it. "They have things called trees you can swing on, instead of walking around all day." What fun would that be, he thought, but he obliged and took a trip to a forest in Brazil. He was confused at first until he met a female monkey who taught him how to swing from branch to branch. High to low, low to high. He loved it. When it was time to go back home he took some tree seeds with him so he could plant them on Mars. He had to wait twenty years or so but it was worth it. His female cohort visited him on Mars and they had children together; teaching the young monkeys how to swing high to low, low to high, all across Mars.

Chapter 4: Rex the T-Rex

"Holy monkey man, that sounds kinda crazy. Kinda futuristic right?" Mike asked himself. "Anything is possible so these are all realistic. Here goes Rex."

Rex the T-Rex was red and had green spikes running down his spine. Rex was the type to make sense out of interesting points of view; he knew right from wrong. One day, Rex met up with his pals and they went swimming with the Loch Ness Monster. They came across a treasure chest and found necklaces and rings. Rex put four or five of the necklaces together to make one big necklace that fit around his neck. He was super cool now. His buddies did similar things, one making a dozen rings into one big gold tooth. When Rex returned home to his wife and no kids, he asked his wife how he looked. "Disgusting!" proclaimed Rex's wife. "You look like one of those damned neanderthals, take that off!" But Rex kept it on. He went to the bar the night to sip on some shark juice and he got all types of compliments. "Where'd you get that?" asked a velosa raptor. "Can't tell ya, it's a secret," replied Rex. They played pool and partied until the night was over. Walking home alone a giant bird-like creature swooped down and stole the necklace. Rex couldn't reach for it with his tiny arms. When he returned home, his wife asked, "What happened to your awesome necklace?" "It got stolen... wait, you liked it?" "Yes I did" she said and Rex went to bed hoping that one day he could earn another cool piece of bling.

Chapter 5: Barry the Bear

"That was something huh?" remarked Mike, " I'd like to think Rex went back and got some more jewelry but didn't show it off this time."

Barry the Baritone Bear was not your average bear. He moved with the winds like a bird and bellowed the entire time he moved. Only when he wasn't moving was he silent. His dad, a monotone-speaking bear, was a beloved writer among his peers. He and a female bear made Barry in the woods after Barry's dad wrote a piece of his soul. He called it, "Once a Bear, Never a Bear." It was very introspective and made up in a way he wanted it to be taken. The other bears didn't pay much attention to it. They called it "egotistical" and "selfish." He later called it, "Barely a Bear." Barry went on to sing in a choir and always had the solos. And because he had to be moving when he sang, his biggest fans were birds. Little did he know, he was a bird.

Chapter 6: The Rabid Rabbit

"Barry was a bird but still hung out with bears to soak up knowledge and use it in his songs. Barry wrote of heart-ache and evolution of all species he observed. This next tale, not so cushy," announced Mike

There once was a blood-thirsty rabbit. It ate cats, deer, and snakes. The only thing that ate it would be a bear, or so I thought. The rabbit would go into its hole, plot, then come out and enter deer dens and feast on the does and bucks. When out in nature, one can observe the rabbit eating grass, just waiting for a blood-having animal to enter its territory. One day, a human caught the rabbit and caged it. It would eat crickets and lizards. However, one day the rabid rabbit bit off the owner's finger. From that point on, the owner used steel gloves to deal with the trapped beast. The owner knew she shouldn't let the rabbit back out into nature. This went well until one day, one of the lizards got the upper-hand on the rabid rabbit. The lizard ate the rabbit and became blood-thirsty itself. The owner released the rabid lizard into the woods near her house. She was done dealing with these monsters. The lizard went back to its old ways and only ate bugs and smaller amphibians. Living the rest of its life in the wilderness eating rabid rabbits and he taught his offspring to do the same.

Chapter 7: Jake the Snake

The ex-owner of the rabid rabbit and rabid lizard couldn't sleep well knowing of these beasts. She regretted letting the lizard go but all was well because the lizard had morals.

"Okay, so..." Mike began. He slithered through the medium-high grasses to get to the stream. Jake the Snake was thirsty and also looking for a quick meal. This meant scavenging across the grasses for a mouse or something. He didn't really care, anything would work that day. He hadn't eaten in almost seventy-two hours and was ready to fill his belly and rest up. He knew what it would mean to come across a family of mice and take away what he could. It meant hurting a family and that was exactly what he hated doing. See Jake grew up eating grass and rice. His dad introduced him to live prey and his mom left his father because of it. She was a healer and couldn't stand the sight of her son's ways. Jake was ready to begin something different. After one final mouse, he told himself he would never do it again. Eat live prey. Grass is living too but it doesn't have a soul like something with a heartbeat does. Grass may have a soul but that's a topic for a different discussion.

Chapter 8: Dollie the Platypus

That was it. Jake digested the mouse and just like that he was on to a new. Or so he thought. Another seventy-two hours later and he was back to craving live prey. He knew better but did he have what it takes or did he give in to temptation? "I'd like to think he changed but at the end of the day, he was a snake, and snakes eat mice."

Dollie the Platypus performs every weekend night. She does flips and handstands and elaborate juggling. Come to find out, Dollie wasn't raised to be in the circus. She was raised to be a sign-language interpreter for musicals. She would always have the crowd laughing though, distracting the audience from the musical. She was let go from that career and then went on to join the circus. She made friends with Henry the Hamster and Jennie the Lion. Everyone loves her performances and you can catch her every weekend night as she travels across the globe with her friends.

Chapter 9: Ron the Rhino

"That was a little more light-hearted than the previous, wouldn't you say?" asked Mike as he shrugged.

Ron the Rhino grew up with a normal life like all the other rhinos. They traveled, fed, and played together in their youth. However, when he was growing into the adult rhino he was destined to be there was one minor hiccup. Ron's horn never got any bigger. It was just a couple inches long. All the other rhinos thought it was funny. They called him names like, "baby horn", "little horn", "rhiNO horn", to name a few. Well, one day they were feeding together and Ron had had enough with the name-calling and bullying. He wrestled and pinned down one of the hecklers and poked him with his horn. Ron, nor the other rhinos knew he had that aggression in him. The other rhinos were scared of Ron after that and because of it, he was named King of the Rhinos.

Chapter 10: Hector the Butterfly

"Mad respect for Ron, I wouldn't mess with him... No way" proclaimed Mike. "Here goes another one of the tales I came across."

Hector the butterfly was only an eager caterpillar when this story began. Every bug has its own individual story, even if they don't know it. Hector was born with dozens of other bugs and resided in the poop he was born near. It was in a vast forest in the middle of a country. He, like his comrades, branched out and crawled into the woods. Some of Hector's unlucky siblings were swooped up by birds. One day, Hector ventured a little further than usual and met another caterpillar named Cindy. They feasted together and decided that no matter what, they would remain friends through their upcoming transformation. Time passed and Hector transformed. The summer sun shining brightly with reds, pinks, and greens. He looked and felt great but had forgotten all about Cindy. One day, he met a moth that smoked grass. She was downright ugly but Hector was drawn to her laid-back and cool demeanor. They went on adventures together, day and night. Then, one day, Hector re-united with Cindy near a stream. They said their hellos but were clearly on separate paths.

Chapter 11: Sharon the Waffle Iron

"Or were they on the same path? Time will tell and they continued moving with mother nature through all the seasons." said Mike.

Sharon the Waffle Iron makes the best waffles. She never complains but does get a little dirty. She had been working one day on a batch of chocolate chip waffles when she suddenly turned off. The owner unplugged her and kept her downstairs for years after her malfunction. One day, the owner's son came across Sharon, even though out-dated, he decided to plug her back in. What a shame, she sleeps through one waffle and gets banished to the basement for a dozen years before getting resurrected. "Think that's bad? Wait til you hear about her cousin, Igor the Iron."

Chapter 12: Igor the Iron

Igor was at worst, a bad iron. But at his best, he made the most perfectly creased pants that there are. One day, Igor threw up and spat water all over his owner's khakis, making him late for work. Banished to the garage for twelve years. Then, he was given to Goodwill to be bought by a man who used Igor to straighten his ties. The new owner was dating Sharon the Waffle Iron's owner. They moved in together, the two resurrected irons together now. One for making waffles, the other straightened his gay owner's ties. They lived together for a while. To this day as a matter of fact. The irons witnessed thing they could never un-see but at the end of the day, they were happy to be put to use.

Chapter 13: Kenny the Kangaroo

"Having a purpose in important, don't you think? I'm just glad I have these stories to tell you," Mike said. "Thanks for tuning in."

Kenny the Kangaroo had lots of friends. Mostly bears, but they didn't want to eat Kenny because he brought them joy. He would dance for them, sing for them, and even cook for them. That was until one day, one of the cubs got reckless and hungry and decided to eat Kenny. Kenny had a daughter, years later she went on to be a doctor. One day, a sick bear came into her office and confessed, "I ate a kangaroo when I was little, I didn't realize the pain it would ensue on my family, leaving them depressed... I ate our joy." The kangaroo-doctor prescribed medication and the bear went on to have his own offspring. When he told them stories, they would always end with, "Don't kill what brings you joy."

Chapter 14: Benny the Burrito

"A little dark, I know, but the deeper message is, don't kill at all, regardless of the effect that being has on you... Anyways."

Benny the Burrito sat in the freezer for two weeks before his owner pulled him out. Before that, he was in the back of a grocery delivery van for three hours. Before that, he was in a warehouse for three days. He had a lot of friends, other items knowing that their doom was getting close. Food lives for death... That's what brings them joy. For some reason, they were all a little anxious to find out what life was like after being digested and pooped out. Spending their dying days telling stories and reliving the days when they didn't know what food they'd be eaten with or what drinks they'd be digested with. Benny was quiet. He didn't have any parents but had tons of cousins who were born at a similar time than he was. Anyways, today was the day Benny would be introduced to the afterlife. He was eaten with celery sticks and a cup of milk. Now his brothers, by way of poop buddies, they got eaten and digested within twelve hours. In the afterlife, they were flushed to a nearby dump where they met other poop. All of them with similar stories but there was one in particular that had stayed in tact. It was made with corn and the corn was still whole. "I was just a burrito, now I'm poop," announced Benny.

Chapter 15: Chris the Chandelier

"Gross I know," Mike confessed. "This next ones should brighten things up."

Christopher the Chandelier was super fancy. Starting from one single diamond, she blossomed into a wonderful chandelier. Overseeing everything in the Smith's home. She was never ashamed to shine so bright. She even sparkled a bit in the moonlight. One day, one of the Smith's sons had a party and Chris got shattered by some drunk teens. How reckless... Didn't they know Chris was worth thousands? They hit her with bats until she was down to her last diamond. The diamond stayed in tact, the son threw out the drunks, and he used Christopher's last diamond to put into a ring. He used it to propose to his girlfriend six years later.

Chapter 16: Enrique the Lobster

Enrique the Lobster grew up near the shore of Los Angeles. He had many crab friends and some lobster friends that he's known since he was a little guy. Born and raised by his mother, his father left the nest but left him with many blessings. Most of which confused Enrique. "Why would this guy leave us before even meeting us?" "He did it because he loved you guys," the mother told Enrique and his siblings. "Oh well," he thought. "Now I get to live out my own journey." Hoping one day he would reach his father and make him proud for leaving the nest. The rest is still up for grabs. Enrique's out there somewhere searching for his dad but his dad didn't want his son to feel that pain. They communicated telepathically and his father said, "Find a nice female, get her pregnant, and you'll see where I'm coming from." Enrique did just that but still felt the need to be near his new family. "I love my little guys, I will never leave them." He taught the little guys games and just when he thought he couldn't take it anymore, he swam away. Leaving his family and now in search of a deeper meaning. Never realizing he left everything he needed. Pray for Enrique, he could use it.

Chapter 17: Henry the Giraffe

"I'd like to think he figured his was out of the mess he's in... Enrique will be fine, I promise... So will our next character," announced Mike the Monkey.

Henry grew up in what the middle of what the ecosystem called, 'the twilight zone'. In 'the twilight zone', giraffes got sacrificed in order for the other animals to feel something emotionally. There wasn't any hunting during this time so they needed some way to promote positivity and what better way then by killing off the beloved giraffes. The thing about it though was they never really died, they just went to Brazil to live in presumed Heaven. They started a religion there by promoting happiness among the little ones in Brazil. Henry got taken to Brazil and there he met the love of his life, Ezra. Ezra was born and raised here. A purebred just waiting for her giraffe in shining armor. When Henry arrived he still thought he was going to be killed but instead, it was the opposite. Henry had everything he ever needed- good food, good vibes, and a good female. If only the giraffes back home knew how good it was here.

Chapter 18: Chester the Trampoline

"Brazil kinda sounds like Heaven, wouldn't you say?" Mike asked. "Couple more to go."

Chester the trampoline was jumped on by kids from all over the neighborhood. He would never jump back because he knew what it would mean if he did. He would take his beatings, sometimes five to six kids at a time. One time he sported a net around his edges, protecting the kids from getting hurtb ecause one day a kid got double-bounced and fell off. The owner limited it to three kids at a time after that. Through all seven of the years, Chester broke only two springs. One time a kid jumped on the springs, didn't get hurt, but that popped the spring out of place. He allowed all types of monkey business. Another time a kid who collected bouncy balls brought his collection into Hector. They loved it. The balls were even happy. Giggling kids made Chester the happiest. Then, when the kids entered high school, Chester was dismantled and sold on eBay. The owner bought a new toy, Mike the Moped.

Chapter 19: Thank You for Tuning In

Now that all was said and done, Mike began living his life again. He reminisced on the days he would hang around with his buddies. Mike was a new monkey. With all the knowledge gained, Mike was ready to settle down and find a female. Her name was Heather. Heather was known for being a little promiscuous but Mike didn't mind. They tamed one another and could almost read each-other's minds. When Mike was happy, Heather was happy. But when Mike was sad and caught up in the past, Heather would be there, just happy enough to be in the presence of her favorite monkey, Mike.

"I don't regret anything, ever," announced Mike. "Without those nuts and that fall, I wouldn't know what such enlightenment meant." Mike was grateful for everything, especially the words from his uncle. "Keep fighting the good fight, but..." Mike modified, "with a dash of love."

Now our final story from the author, himself.

Chapter 20: Lenny the Lamp

Lenny the Lamp was in a trance as he waited to be picked up from the store. He was staring at the inside of the box, hearing all the people in the store discuss their purchases, when a man picked him up. The man used him as a bookend until one day, his Grandson asked what the lamp was all about. My Grandpa didn't have a real use for the salt lamp anymore and Matt would use it to its full potential. It heard Matt's dreams and even his nightmares. I just turned off the salt lamp AKA Lenny and I know the gift from my Grandpa will be there when I lay down tonight. Grateful and thankful for family and friends.

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#Blogger #Story

[autismride]

Disney World 2016 #5

Magic Kingdom has a new "castle show." This is the show that takes place several times a day on the stage at Cinderella's castle.  The previous show was called "Dream Along with Mickey."  My kids were obsessed with it - looked it up on YouTube all the time.  I also loved it.  It was retired earlier in 2016.  The new show is a Renaissance themed show.  The new show is a bit more diverse, in that Qiana and several characters from Princess and the Frog are included. 

 There’s a separate new show on the castle stage that features Cinderella and Princess Elena.  Elena has her own Disney Jr. tv show (she’s not from a movie).  It was cool-both girls were strong, solved their own problems, no rescuing needed. 

Todd was having a hard time.  He had just started anti-seizure medication, so we were (still are) still trying to figure out what times to give him his doses in relation to side effects inhibiting his life.  He still also takes Risperdal for his behavior issues.  We’re still trying to find a happy balance of when because both medications make him lethargic.  (As of this writing, the neurologist had added a third medication, so fighting the sleepiness is tough.)   On the previous day of this trip, I gave him anti-seizure medication in the morning and when we got to the park, we watched the Castle show and we had lunch.  We ate at Casey’s Corner on Main Street.  We had a perfect view of the Shake It Move It parade going by.  (Another YouTube obsession whenever we return home.) Then all of sudden, he just did not look right.  Long story short, we had to sit on a bench while he had his head on one of our laps.  That was for several hours.  Whoever was with Todd, the other parent took Sean to the rides.  Sean loves Hall of the Presidents.  He loves the People Mover. He said, “I want to ride that again!”  And again and again! Then World of Progress from the 1964 World’s Fair – he enjoyed that.  It actually broke down while we were in there.  The stage moves and the audience seats move.  The ride/show takes you through the decades, 1900, 1920s, 1940s and then on the verge of what appears to be 1999-2000…but then it stopped. The 1940s re-started three times and they made an announcement “remain in your seats,” so something was malfunctioning with that, but it was fine.  I was relieved Sean didn't get upset, as he often does when things don't go as they are supposed to.  Then Todd was better and we went on the Peter Pan ride.  It was cute and what you would expect from that type of ride-gently moving through the scenes and characters of the movie. 

Both kids got a second wind.  We had tickets to the Crystal Palace for the character lunch.  That was incredible!  The characters at that particular meal are the Winnie the Pooh characters.  Our server was Steven.  He was absolutely lovely.  He just – maybe he treats every family as well as he treated us – he just embodied everything you expect a Disney experience "cast member" to be.  He showed a genuine love of children and a love for the magic of the Disney experience.  The food was really good.  Stephen was just really taken with Sean’s enthusiasm for absolutely everything.  He even brought his manager over to meet us, which was cool.  Usually when we do these character meals, Todd couldn’t care less.  He usually just focuses on his food.  This time, Piglet came over to us and he went nuts!  He gave each character a quick high five, “whatever.”  Then Piglet came over and he giggled and hugged him.  I told the actor, “you are the first character that he has reacted to.”  It was very cool! 

 Next that same day, we went to Epcot because I was talked into by our concierge, and rightfully so, talked into the park hopper for two days for $1000.  **&^%^ excuse my language, $1000? We have been here before and know Disney is pricey, but that's always tough to swallow.  We wanted to get our money’s worth for the day.  At Epcot, first thing Sean always wants to do, we went in the big "golf ball."  This was a nicer experience because last time we went to Epcot and we went up in the golf ball, someone had just vomited on the ride and they said they had cleaned it up, but the ride still smelled like vomit the whole time.  This time, it didn’t smell like vomit, so that was good!  Then we did Finding Nemo the Ride.  Todd was totally charmed.  Then we did Talking with Crush, which we have done before in California at Disney's California Adventure.  I don’t know how they do it – the animated Crush talks with the children and he usually picks out 1-2 adults that he’ll interact with.  It’s super cute.  Todd was just laughing and clapping the whole time.  One thing I noticed, though, tourists for whom English is not their first language – they seemed confused by the slang, because Crush talks almost exclusively in California surfer slang.  

(above - kids in front of the "golf ball.")

The Tesla thing!  The Tesla ride – you’re supposed to design your own car and then you drive in it.  It was a 90-minute wait.  It was the longest wait at Epcot. A great feature of the Disney iPhone app is you can look to see the wait times for all rides and shows.  We got one got one of the passes for Tesla that says come back at “X” time.  So we did. We went into the room where you’re supposed to design your car and none of the computers were working, so everyone was just standing there looking at each other and then the cast members came back, “Ok!  Now it’s time to drive the car you just designed!” This woman said, “I didn’t design a car.”  The cast member said she could talk to a captain afterward and tell them she wanted to design a car.  So it basically turned out to be just a ride.  But it was a really fun ride!  It really felt like you’re in a race car (not that I’ve actually been in one).  It was a really fun, car going fast ride.  The next fun ride was a space shuttle simulation and Gary Sinese is your host.  There’s a “green” side which is the milder version of the ride and the “orange” version is called “G force” so we went on the green one, much to my husband’s chagrin, but the green one-there’s no spinning, no real chance of motion sickness, I thought, you know, I don’t want a kid throwing up.  I don’t like spinning. So we’re going to do the green one.  It was fun!  It was still a really fun ride.  The kids did well.

On this particular day at Epcot, we didn’t go to the "countries" because that was further out and it closes at 9.  We had a full day! 

The next morning, Todd, for some reason, after being so lethargic and a 12-hour day at Disney, was still up at 4:30 this morning, playing with his Kindle, laughing, jumping around, so nothing will officially wear out this kid.  I went to get coffee and for a short walk. I was standing right near what’s called Half Moon Lake.  Behind me was our section of the hotel…actually, Little Mermaid, past Little Mermaid is our section, which is Cars.  Over to the left was Finding Nemo.  To the right…I know Lion King is here somewhere, but I didn’t see it.  Across this bridge is the Pop Century Resort and I was wondering…because they advertised at our hotel to try both buffets.  I walked over there and it appeared to be mostly similar food-wise. One thing, when we were waiting at Disney Springs for the bus, three Pop Century buses went by before an Art of Animation bus went by.  So it’s good to know that (in hindsight) you can take either.  There’s a not-very-long bridge over this little lake.  

More to come! :)

[ecotone99]

Mike the Monkey [FN]

Mike the Monkey

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Chapter One: Nuts

Any other day it would have been normal to swing around, walk about, snack on 'nanas, and talk about the weather. However, this day, when all was said and done, Mike the Monkey went on a little adventure. He went past the line of trees his mom told him was the boundary, and soon he would find out why she set those limitations. The journey was simple until he came upon something he had never seen before. He witnessed a squirrel eating a strange nut, with a crazy look in his eyes. When the squirrel noticed Mike, he offered him a piece of the football-sized nut. Mike's stomach tingled with nervousness and excitement like he had never felt before. Should he taste it? What if it's bad for me? Those were his thoughts. Well, I'm never in this neck of the woods, why not? That was the thought that followed. He took a big bite and the squirrel scampered away. "Hey where are you going?" exclaimed Mike. No response. He took another bite, dropped the rest, and started to swing his way back home when he felt something foreign. "I feel alive!" he said to himself, seemingly out of nowhere. He began recognizing how green the leaves were and how beautiful his home, the forest, was. He stopped near a stream to enjoy the beauty of the magnificent waters. Then he swung the rest of the way back home. Except, Mike didn't feel so fake. It felt warm and Mike relaxed his body as his mind raced. The next day Mike went back for the nuts that made him feel so alive the day before. Matter of fact, he went back for fourteen days straight. Each time becoming higher and deeper into what the neanderthals called, enlightenment. He began to go a little crazy, talking with bumblebees and running with the deer. Maybe he wasn't crazy at all, maybe he was exactly where he needed to be when he needed to be there. Next, in an attempt to rid his mind of the racing thoughts via physical excretion, Mike hopped in a river in an attempt to swim upstream. This worked, but only for a moment. He was being washed down the river rather violently. He attempted to latch on to logs but that didn't work. He was headed straight for a waterfall. With a last-stitch effort to not be flushed into a pit of more freshwater, Mike held onto a branch hanging near the waters. The branch screeched and snapped. Down the waterfall he went. The next thing Mike knew, he was in bed. He ached horribly all over. Bruised and battered but luckily he was alive. Friends and family visited him over the next few days. Finally, his uncle, who saved him from drowning came to visit. 'I've been following you, I ate the nut when I was your age... Keep fighting the good fight." Then his uncle vanished along with everyone else. Mike went into a deep sleep and when he woke, he had stories to tell.

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Chapter 2: Freddie the Frog

"The first one goes something like this," announced Mike, sitting up in bed.

Freddie the Frog grew up jumping from lilipad to lilipad. Eating bugs and flies with his brothers and sisters. Freddie didn't realize it, but since day one he was a better jumper than his siblings and cousins. He would hop over lilipads, similar to how humans skip stairs when they run up them. "Hey Freddie, you've got some serious hops, I'm gunna enter you into the Amphibian Olympics this summer." This made Freddie anxious and he trained and trained. The day came for the competition and he was mad nervous. He threw-up his breakfast. When it came time for his turn to jump and compete, Freddie was nowhere to be found. His brothers, sisters, and cousins searched, but couldn't find him. He was disqualified from the Olympics. Freddie tuned up a day or two later. "Where the hell have you been?" "Well, I came across a toad and he taught me how to meditate so I've been meditating,' responded Freddie. "Turns out I'm not meant to be an athlete, I just want to live in peace." After that day, Freddie was careful to jump on every lilipad in his path, not skipping any anymore. "I just want to be a frog." Years later, Freddie competed in the Senior Olympics and won the silver medal. He didn't regret a thing and went on to train the most elite frogs in the swamp.

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Chapter 3: Manny the Martian

"This next one hits a little closer to home for me... or is it further? Well here goes."

Manny the Martian was wondering around his home turf of Mars when a space bird told him he should visit Earth and that he might like it. "They have things called trees you can swing on, instead of walking around all day." What fun would that be, he thought, but he obliged and took a trip to a forest in Brazil. He was confused at first until he met a female monkey who taught him how to swing from branch to branch. High to low, low to high. He loved it. When it was time to go back home he took some tree seeds with him so he could plant them on Mars. He had to wait twenty years or so but it was worth it. His female cohort visited him on Mars and they had children together. Teaching the young monkeys how to swing high to low, low to high, all across Mars.

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Chapter 4: Rex the T-Rex

"Holy monkey man, that sounds kinda crazy. Kinda futuristic right?" Mike asked himself. "Anything is possible so these area all realistic. Here goes Rex."

Rex the T-Rex was red and had green spikes running down his spine. Rex was the type to make sense out of interesting points of view. He knew right from wrong. One day, Rex met up with his pals and they went swimming with the loch ness monster. They came across a treasure chest and found necklaces and rings. Rex put four or five of the necklaces together to make one big necklace that fit around his neck. He was super cool now. His buddies did similar things, one making a dozen rings into one big gold tooth. When Rex returned home to his wife and no kids, he asked his wife how he looked. "Disgusting!" proclaimed Rex's wife. "You look like one of those damned neanderthals, take that off!" But Rex kept it on. He went to the bar that night to sip on some shark juice and he got all types of compliments. "Where'd you get that?" asked a velosa raptor. "Can't tell ya, it's a secret," replied Rex. They played pool and partied until the night was over. Walking home alone a giant bird-like creature swooped down and stole the necklace. Rex couldn't reach for it with his tiny arms. When he returned home, his wife asked, "What happened to your awesome necklace?" "It got stolen... wait, you liked it?" "Yes I did" she said and Rex went to bed hoping that one day he could earn another cool piece of bling.

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Chapter 5: Barry the Bear

"That was something huh?" remarked Mike, " I'd like to think Rex went back and got some more jewelry but didn't show it off this time."

Barry the Baritone Bear was not your average bear. He moved with the winds like a bird and bellowed the entire time he moved. Only when he wasn't moving was he silent. His dad, a monotone-speaking bear, was a beloved writer among his peers. He and a female bear made Barry in the woods after Barry's dad wrote a piece of his soul. He called it, "Once a Bear, Never a Bear." It was very introspective and made up in a way he wanted it to be taken. The other bears didn't pay much attention to it. They called it, "egotistical" and "selfish." He later called it, "Barely a Bear." Barry went on to sing in a choir and always had the solos. And because he had to be moving when he sang, his biggest fans were birds. Little did he know, he was a bird.

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Chapter 6: The Rabid Rabbit

"Barry was a bird but still hung out with bears to soak up knowledge and use it in his songs. Barry wrote of heart-ache and evolution of all species he observed. This next tale, not so cushy," announced Mike

There once was a blood-thirsty rabbit. It ate cats, deer, and snakes. The only thing that ate it would be a bear, or so I thought. The rabbit would go into its hole, plot, then come out and enter deer dens and feast on the does and bucks. When out in nature, one can observe the rabbit eating grass, just waiting for a blood-having animal to enter its territory. One day, a human caught the rabbit and caged it. It would eat crickets and lizards. However, one day the rabid rabbit bit off the owner's finger. From that point on, the owner used steel gloves to deal with the trapped beast. The owner knew she shouldn't let the rabbit back out into nature. This went well until one day, one of the lizards got the upper-hand on the rabid rabbit. The lizard ate the rabbit and became blood-thirsty itself. The owner released the rabid lizard into the woods near her house. She was done dealing with these monsters. The lizard went back to its old ways and only ate bugs and smaller amphibians. Living the rest of its life in the wilderness eating rabid rabbits and he taught his offspring to do the same.

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Chapter 7: Jake the Snake

The ex-owner of the rabid rabbit and rabid lizard couldn't sleep well knowing of these beasts. She regretted letting the lizard go but all was well because the lizard had morals.

"Okay, so..." Mike began. He slithered through the medium-high grasses to get to the stream. Jake the Snake was thirsty and also looking for a quick meal. This meant scavenging across the grasses for a mouse or something. He didn't really care, anything would work that day. He hadn't eaten in almost seventy-two hours and was ready to fill his belly and rest up. He knew what it would mean to come across a family of mice and take away what he could. It meant hurting a family and that was exactly what he hated doing. See Jake grew up eating grass and rice. His dad introduced him to live prey and his mom left his father because of it. She was a healer and couldn't stand the sight of her son's ways. Jake was ready to begin something different. After one final mouse, he told himself he would never do it again. Eat live prey. Grass is living too but it doesn't have a soul like something with a heartbeat does. Grass may have a soul but that's a topic for a different discussion.

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Chapter 8: Dollie the Platypus

That was it. Jake digested the mouse and just like that he was on to a new. Or so he thought. Another seventy-two hours later and he was back to craving live prey. He knew better but did he have what it takes or did he give in to temptation? "I'd like to think he changed but at the end of the day, he was a snake, and snakes eat mice."

Dollie the Platypus performs every weekend night. She does flips and handstands and elaborate juggling. Come to find out, Dollie wasn't raised to be in the circus. She was raised to be a sign-language interpreter for musicals. She would always have the crowd laughing though, distracting the audience from the musical. She was let go from that career and then went on to join the circus. She made friends with Henry the Hamster and Jennie the Lion. Everyone loves her performances and you can catch her every weekend night as she travels across the globe with her friends.

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Chapter 9: Ron the Rhino

"That was a little more light-hearted than the previous, wouldn't you say?" asked Mike.

Ron the Rhino grew up with a normal life like all the other rhinos. They traveled and fed and played together in their youth. However, when he was growing into the adult rhino he was destined to be there was one minor hiccup. Ron's horn never got any bigger. It was just a couple inches long. All the other rhinos thought it was funny. They called him names like, "baby horn", "little horn", "rhiNO horn", to name a few. Well, one day they were feeding together and Ron had had enough with the name-calling and bullying. He wrestled and pinned down one of the hecklers and poked him with his horn. Ron, nor the other rhinos knew he had that aggression in him. The other rhinos were scared of Ron after that and because of it, he was named King of the Rhinos.

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Chapter 10: Hector the Butterfly

"Mad respect for Ron, I wouldn't mess with him... No way" announced Mike. "Here goes another one of the tales I came across."

Hector the butterfly was only an eager caterpillar when this story began. Every bug has its own individual story, even if they don't know it. Hector was born with dozens of other bugs and resided in the poop he was born near. It was in a vast forest in the middle of a country. He, like his comrades, branched out and crawled into the woods. Some of Hector's unlucky siblings were swooped up by birds. One day, Hector ventured a little further than usual and met another caterpillar named Cindy. They feasted together and decided that no matter what, they would remain friends through their upcoming transformation. Time passed and Hector transformed. The summer sun shining brightly with reds, pinks, and greens. He looked and felt great but had forgotten all about Cindy. One day, he met a moth that smoked grass. She was downright ugly but Hector was drawn to her laid-back and cool demeanor. They went on adventures together, day and night. Then, one day, Hector re-united with Cindy near a stream. They said their hellos but were clearly on separate paths.

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Chapter 11: Sharon the Waffle Iron

"Or were they on the same path? Time will tell and they continued moving with mother nature through all the seasons." -Mike.

Sharon the Waffle Iron makes the best waffles. She never complains but does get a little dirty. She had been working one day on a batch of chocolate chip waffles and turned off. The owner unplugged her and kept her downstairs for years after her malfunction. One day, the owner's son came across Sharon, even though out-dated, he decided to plug her back in. What a shame, she sleeps through one waffle and gets banished to the basement for a dozen years before getting resurrected. "Think that's bad? Wait til you hear about her cousin, Igor the Iron."

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Chapter 12: Igor the Iron

Igor was at worst, a bad iron. But at his best, he made the most perfectly creased pants that there are. One day, Igor threw up and spat water all over his owner's khakis, making him late for work. Banished to the garage for twelve years. Then, he was given to Goodwill to be bought by a man who used Igor to straighten his ties. The new owner was dating Sharon the Waffle Iron's owner. They moved in together, the two resurrected irons together now. One for making waffles, the other straightened his gay owner's ties. They lived together for a while. To this day as a matter of fact. The irons witnessed thing they could never un-see but at the end of the day, they were happy to be put to use.

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Chapter 13: Kenny the Kangaroo

"Having a purpose in important, don't you think? I'm just glad I have these stories to tell you," Mike said. "Thanks for tuning in."

Kenny the Kangaroo had lots of friends. Mostly bears, but they didn't want to eat Kenny because he brought them joy. He would dance for them, sing for them, and even cook for them. That was until one day, one of the cubs got reckless and hungry and decided to eat Kenny. Kenny had a daughter, years later she went on to be a doctor. One day, a sick bear came into her office and confessed, "I ate a kangaroo when I was little, I didn't realize the pain it would ensue on my family, leaving them depressed... I ate our joy." The kangaroo-doctor prescribed medication and the bear went on to have his own offspring. When he told them stories, they would always end with, "Don't kill what brings you joy."

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Chapter 14: Benny the Burrito

"A little dark, I know, but the deeper message is, don't kill at all, regardless of the effect that being has on you... Anyways."

Benny the Burrito sat in the freezer for two weeks before his owner pulled him out. Before that, he was in the back of a grocery delivery van for three hours. Before that, he was in a warehouse for three days. He had a lot of friends, other items knowing that their doom was getting close. Food lives for death... That's what brings them joy. For some reason, they were all a little anxious to find out what life was like after being digested and pooped out. Spending their dying days telling stories and reliving the days when they didn't know what food they'd be eaten with or what drinks they'd be digested with. Benny was quiet. He didn't have any parents but had tons of cousins who were born at a similar time than he was. Anyways, today was the day Benny would be introduced to the afterlife. He was eaten with celery sticks and a cup of milk. Now his brothers, by way of poop buddies, they got eaten and digested within twelve hours. In the afterlife, they were flushed to a nearby dump where they met other poop. All of them with similar stories but there was one in particular that had stayed in tact. It was made with corn and the corn was still whole. "I was just a burrito, now I'm poop," announced Benny.

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Chapter 15: Chris the Chandelier

"Gross I know," Mike confessed. "This next ones should brighten things up."

Christopher the Chandelier was super fancy. Starting from one single diamond, she blossomed into a wonderful chandelier. Overseeing everything in the Smith's home. She was never ashamed to shine so bright. She even sparkled a bit in the moonlight. One day, one of the Smith's sons had a party and Chris got shattered by some drunk teens. How reckless... Didn't they know Chris was worth thousands? They hit her with bats until she was down to her last diamond. The diamond stayed in tact, the son threw out the drunks, and he used Christopher's last diamond to put into a ring. He used it to propose to his girlfriend six years later.

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Chapter 16: Enrique the Lobster

Enrique the Lobster grew up near the shore of Los Angeles. He had many crab friends and some lobster friends that he's known since he was a little guy. Born and raised by his mother, his father left the nest but left him with many blessings. Most of which confused Enrique. "Why would this guy leave us before even meeting us?" "He did it because he loved you guys," the mother told Enrique and his siblings. "Oh well," he thought. "Now I get to live out my own journey." Hoping one day he would reach his father and make him proud for leaving the nest. The rest is still up for grabs. Enrique's out there somewhere searching for his dad but his dad didn't want his son to feel that pain. They communicated telepathically and his father said, "Find a nice female, get her pregnant, and you'll see where I'm coming from." Enrique did just that but still felt the need to be near his new family. "I love my little guys, I will never leave them." He taught the little guys games and just when he thought he couldn't take it anymore, he swam away. Leaving his family and now in search of a deeper meaning. Never realizing he left everything he needed. Pray for Enrique, he could use it.

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Chapter 17: Henry the Giraffe

"I'd like to think he figured his was out of the mess he's in... Enrique will be fine, I promise... So will our next character," announced Mike the Monkey.

Henry grew up in what the middle of what the ecosystem called, 'the twilight zone'. In 'the twilight zone', giraffes got sacrificed in order for the other animals to feel something emotionally. There wasn't any hunting during this time so they needed some way to promote positivity and what better way then by killing off the beloved giraffes. The thing about it though was they never really died, they just went to Brazil to live in presumed Heaven. They started a religion there by promoting happiness among the little ones in Brazil. Henry got taken to Brazil and there he met the love of his life, Ezra. Ezra was born and raised here. A purebred just waiting for her giraffe in shining armor. When Henry arrived he still thought he was going to be killed but instead, it was the opposite. Henry had everything he ever needed- good food, good vibes, and a good female. If only the giraffes back home knew how good it was here.

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Chapter 18: Chester the Trampoline

"Brazil kinda sounds like Heaven, wouldn't you say?" Mike asked. "Couple more to go."

Chester the trampoline was jumped on by kids from all over the neighborhood. He would never jump back because he knew what it would mean if he did. He would take his beatings, sometimes five to six kids at a time. One time he sported a net around his edges, protecting the kids from getting hurt. Because one day a kid got double-bounced and fell off. The owner limited it to three kids at a time after that. Through all seven of the years, Chester broke only two springs. One time a kid jumped on the springs, didn't get hurt, but that popped the spring out of place. He allowed all types of monkey business. Another time a kid who collected bouncy balls. They loved it. The balls were even happy. Giggling kids made Chester the happiest. Then, when the kids entered high school, Chester was dismantled and sold on eBay. The owner bought a new toy, Mike the Moped.

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Chapter 19: Thank You for Tuning In

Now that all was said and done, Mike began living his life again. He reminisced on the days he would hang around with his buddies. Mike was a new monkey. With all the knowledge gained, Mike was ready to settle down and find a female. Her name was Heather. Heather was known for being a little promiscuous but Mike didn't mind. They tamed one another and could almost read each-other's minds. When Mike was happy, Heather was happy. But when Mike was sad and caught up in the past, Heather would be there, just happy enough to be in the presence of her favorite monkey, Mike.

"I don't regret anything, ever," announced Mike. "Without those nuts and that fall, I wouldn't know what such enlightenment meant." Mike was grateful fro everything, especially the words from his uncle. "Keep fighting the good fight, but..." Mike modified, "with a dash of love.

Now our final story from the author, himself.

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Chapter 20: Lenny the Lamp

Lenny the Lamp was in a trance as he waited to be picked up from the store. He was staring at the inside of the box, hearing all the people in the store discuss their purchases, when a man picked him up. The man used him as a bookend until one day, his Grandson asked what the lamp was all about. My Grandpa didn't have a real use for the salt lamp anymore and Matt would use it to its full potential. It heard Matt's dreams and even his nightmares. I just turned off the salt lamp AKA Lenny and I know the gift from my Grandpa will be there when I lay down tonight. Grateful and thankful for family and friends.

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