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punkscowardschampions · 1 year

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Janis & Casey Pt.3

Janis: [forever obsessed with all and any roughness so we’re moving our body in a way that is pushing our booty into your grasp more and making you notice exactly how it feels, as well as feeling good for us whilst we’re just here trying to say your name in the most soothing, calming way we can when we’re as turned on because gotta give the energy that we’re just trying to help and aren’t in fact trying to kill you; case in point, totally undercutting this by doing the nip we didn’t do before because gotta do both, only fair, doing this like we’re dodging another headbutt like no no don’t or I’ll…]

Casey: [excuse us everyone but in no world is he not pulling down her leggings as roughly, enough that he can actually get inside her now because HAS TO, grabbing her arse again as he penetrates her to really push her into it, using his own mouth to really do the most to her nip because again HAS TO, just please don’t do a me and accidentally almost bite it off because that’s so the energy]

Janis: [when he gets inside you, burying your head in the crook of his neck and screaming the way you would into a pillow like you can hear it boy but we’re attempting to not let the world hear it here, the definition of feral with how we’re moving against you and inside you ourself too]

Casey: [cannot be overstated how into her suppressed scream he would be, feral is honestly the word, try and suppress at least some of your own loudness sir by biting her shoulder how you like to do, again so hard that he’ll have broken the skin slightly even with clothes in the way]

Janis: [when you’re so into it you simply have to cum, as per you were basically edging long before you even got here, so there’s no way this isn’t a squirt so good job on getting those leggings down to minimise the mess of it all, though that’s the last thing on your mind as you’re digging your nails into his shoulders with as much force that you are leaving marks and if you dragged down they would be big old scratches]

Casey: [he’ll have to too, how could he not when she is and she’s squirting all over the shop as well as, that’s without even bringing the scratches into it which will keep turning him on always for as long as they exist]

Janis: [just here still attached to you by our claws lowkey and are aggressively shaking ‘cos our body is that overwhelmed with everything that just happened and is still lowkey happening as we get the aftershock tremors, making us cling to you harder]

Casey: [he’s definitely in the same boat but nevertheless doing the breathing into her mouth thing like lemme save you, you need it, but really you’re just making yourselves more lightheaded as you lie here, meanwhile I’ve just remembered that Chubby would have to be around somewhere since the flat has been vacated, where are you sweet baby pup? soz I forgot you existed in all that feral nonsense and so did they]

Janis: [me like I hope you were deep asleep on the driver’s seat or something because lord knows where you are otherwise and that would be a problem lmao; meanwhile back with these feral hogs, we’re letting you do this like we’re literally passed out here even though we’re not quite because it was a different kind of intense reaction but we want you to and there is zero fight nor complaint about it, letting go of his shoulders by which I mean creating those scratch marks, excuse us, breathing so shallowly and !! as we look at him]

Casey: [it’s vaguely feasible because Casey did take him on the longest walk of his life earlier when he didn’t know what to do with himself and he’s had his first ever puppuccino and walked and then been to the pub, not to mention had so much fun unpacking all the boxes when they were being feral at different points, it’s been a big and exciting day for Mr Chubbs and the party was only last night too, I’d be exhausted, ANYWAY, doing his own kind of shudder bordering on a convulsion about the scratches, STARING at her with the biggest hearteyes he’s ever done because this is how he likes her best when she’s been completely undone by being feral and is covered with every bodily fluid under the sun ‘fucking look at you’ so breathlessly and taking a picture of her, however shaky he also feels and is]

Janis: [agreed and baby animals have their wilding and then they have to SLEEP, so it does work, enough for our purposes, and he’s used to them wilding so even if he woke, he’d go back to sleep without fuss or incident, it’s a good enough place for you to be for us thanking you and moving on lmao; making a kind of protesting no sound like I can’t look at myself right now because we know we are a MESS because we feel a MESS in every single way but it’s a faux protest and very half-hearted anyway because we love these moments the most too; very much after he’s taken the pictures he wants to take of you THEN batting his phone away and holding his hands whilst looking at him with the same heart eyes ‘pull my leggings up’ like you’re just being cheeky lazy but someone does need to and are you stable enough rn girl, potentially not]

Casey: [lowkey he also still needs SEVERAL moments himself but doing it the very second she asks of course, kissing her after the fact for that over the clothes reminder anywhere he’s grabbed her roughly during these antics]

Janis: [excuse us boy but we cannot be booty out on the hood of the car for the world to see for too long, in return straightening your clothes for you as if this will make us both look completely presentable and it’s not still very obvious what you just did from the redness of your faces, sweatiness and sex hair, shaking our head like we can’t believe it]

Casey: [doing SUCH a hot lol at her attempts to make him look presentable, but also pulling her to the edge of this car bonnet and thus closer to him where he’s standing after dressing her to do the same back by playing with her hair]

Janis: [‘what you laughing at?’ as we’re cupping his chin to make him exchange full eye contact with us as we’re slipping our hands in his back pockets/just on his booty if they don’t have ‘em, giving it a squeeze]

Casey: [shaking his head like oh nothing, adding a shrug to make it seem extra casual when giving the most intense eye contact of all time, doing such a chaste lil kiss on the same shoulder he bit before but moving her clothes aside for it so actual skin contact]

Janis: [doing a happy sigh at this contact, however small it may seem because it isn’t to us and that’s why we’re so well suited ‘sorry about yours’ because we fucked yours up but are we really sorry, of course not but you know, any reason for you to think about it, running your hands up from his arse to under his tee and on the small of his back]

Casey: [doing his own happy sigh at the contact we’re getting back, in contrast to the smirk on his face from the sorry neither of them mean, once again the kind of hug that lifts her up but unlike the bear hug when she had to leave it’s !! but soft not suffocating]

Janis: [making another happy noise that would be like a squeal if you had the energy to be that extra but it’s softer than that because we’re in aftercare time so everything is ‘love my daddy’ as a mumble as we’re lying our head on your shoulder as delicately as we can here but need to nuzzle soz]

Casey: [we know he loves it, no soz needed, doing the pulse check on her neck again but as gently now as he did it hard during the hookup ‘time to go home’ with the soft daddy energy of she’s a baby he’s taken on an outing but now they’re leaving, cradling her more]

Janis: [just looking at him with love from this close like a little lemming stuck to his side nbd ‘is there room for me?’ like lol but also genuinely because the car is rammed full of all your belongings]

Casey: [moving to peer at Chubby through the window whilst still cradling her closer than ever so she can also see, and he can’t help smiling at that sleepy sleepy boy who he’s looking at with love ‘not safely enough’ with the daddy energy of when he wouldn’t let her up a ladder ‘ring your brother to fetch the van down, else I can go for it and you stay with the car’ pausing to nod in Chubby’s direction ‘and him’ like he will protect you]

Janis: [just peering in this window like he is your child in the intensive care ward or something as dramatic like they do on TV but only with pure aww vibes and not the fear lol ‘he’s so sleepy’ because the fact none of that woke you up enough for you to bark is impressive and insane lol; jump down off him to fetch your phone and ring your brother to sort this, gonna say with the absolute lack of warning you’ve given that he’s out but not in the van and thus Casey can go get it ‘cos it’s a way to separate you for a bit and why not]

Casey: [good thinking boo, go and do that boy, it might be a bit of a walk depending which brother this is and where he lives/keeps this van at this point in his life but you wouldn’t mind that even though you’ve had a busy day and barely any sleep, just the kind of active boy you are and you don’t have work tonight since you called in sick so it doesn’t matter, for me it’s the kiss goodbye being the most dramatic kiss of all time, even more so than the JJ one, when he’ll see her soon]

Janis: [at least neither of y’all would still live at home so it won’t be as far as the cali residence whatever the case may be, just here having so many dramatic goodbye kisses today, excuse us]

Casey: [just calling back ‘I love you’ really loud, when he’s barely any distance away from her because extra like that, we all remember when he got on that pub table and made a declaration of love]

Janis: [covering our face like we’re so embarrassed but you can still see we’re smiling and then using the hands we covered ourself with to blow a kiss at you]

Casey: [‘I promise to, and-’ a bit less loud because it’s so sincere that he’s almost shy, cos it’s like he’s starting to say the vows he’s thought of, but stopping himself from fully doing that right here and right now, cos things to do, shaking his head like stop it you at himself and just catching the kiss like a big nerd as he starts walking off]

Janis: [shake your head back like oh you but I know you can feel the heart eyes still from there, turning to get in the car and give Chubby some attention finally]

Casey: [get out of her immediate proximity and let her do that before y’all start messaging or anything, but then send her a picture of baby Jac’s toy that he’s literally holding rn because I’m gonna say he sneaked it out of the car while she was on the phone and he realised he’d have to make this trek to go with him because he’s the biggest and most sentimental nerd ever ever ever]

Janis: she said she don’t mind sharing with you

Casey: Knew she wouldn’t do, there’s you and him protecting her

Janis: you need someone too, to be brave

Casey: gotta show her what it can do, she’d be scared else next time I’m not there

Janis: exactly, dead fierce [whatever cutesy animal it invariably is lol]

Casey: can only judge most books by their covers, me, but I’ve gotta start setting a decent example and I’ve heard you’re not to

Janis: ugh, forgot you have to teach ‘em right from wrong and just by doing the former not the latter 🙄

Casey: piss easy for you, never do owt wrong, so I’ve heard somewhere an’ all

Janis: has been said 👸🏽👼🏽

Casey: do you reckon she’ll be fuming if it smells like us, might be dogs I’m thinking of who love all that

Janis: no, how you smell is the most comforting, nothing make her feel safer when she has to get the fuck out of me

Casey: I wish she didn’t have to sometimes, feels right unfair for her, going from you to this out here

Casey: I’d stay in you forever if I could

Janis: only you’re allowed

Janis: she has to make room for the twins and come and meet you proper, well rude to keep hiding

Casey: it does take the piss a bit how long she thinks she can keep us waiting as is

Janis: you know girls, like

Casey: she don’t have to do nothing special to herself to get ready to meet me, she’s already that special

Casey: too perfect

Janis: does need to finish cooking

Janis: Libs was pretty weird looking

Casey: makes sense why she acts it now, like

Casey: have they tested her or what

Janis: oi, be nice

Casey: I don’t wanna, she’s a dick to us

Janis: I know, but I don’t let her chat it to me

Casey: alright, she’s probably not brain damaged

Casey: happy

Janis: she’s just

Janis: fucked up, ain’t we all

Casey: she’s just a lass, ain’t they all, more like

Janis: you tryna start a fight now you got [this toy] on your side?

Casey: with who, you’ve been told you don’t count as one when I say shit like that

Janis: when do I count as one

Casey: when I fancy treating you how one should be

Janis: … good answer

Casey: made us miss you though

Janis: I miss you more

Casey: nah, but I’ll never fetch no van unless I stop having a look at that pic of you every odd step

Janis: one foot in front of the other, like I said

Janis: but send it to me

Casey: [do, I just know you’ve made it your lockscreen or whatever because of how much you love it, but don’t tell her that yet lol]

Janis: oh

Casey: yeah

Casey: I

Janis: what

Casey: you know what, girl

Casey: you’ve seen it

Janis: it turns me on, seeing myself how you do

Casey: it’s as close to showing you inside my head as I can

Janis: I know the inside of your head, how much of it is me

Casey: you’ve looked like that from day one, to me

Janis: that’s so

Casey: I dunno how I worked out you had it in you, before I even did I had it in us, but

Casey: I just knew it

Janis: that I was a whore, yours

Casey: that you was everything I’m after

Casey: and we’re that right for each other

Janis: we’re the same, we deserve each other, everyone says it

Casey: I recognised you, under the bollocks everyone else chucks over you, who you are for real

Janis: I’m glad you didn’t think I was a massive virgin lezza

Casey: if I had of done, I’d have thought I were the one who could sort that for you anyway, so either way, we’re alright

Janis: you’re a dickhead, a cute one though

Casey: tell me I’m wrong for it, you can’t

Janis: as I’m not a lesbian and never was, I can’t stroke your ego and tell you your dick would cure me, however much I’d love to, mate

Casey: I’ve done it before, mate, trust us

Janis: I don’t 🙄

Casey: come on, I believe you could turn any bent lad, even [the gayest boy ever from y’all’s school era]

Janis: how kind of you

Janis: probs won’t rush to reconnect with him though, any rate

Casey: fair, dunno what you’d catch

Janis: shut up, boy, get walking

Casey: no need to be mardy with us ‘cause I brought other girls up

Janis: I’m not

Casey: not jealous a day in your life, you, nah, ‘course

Janis: why do you want me to be jealous so bad

Casey: you know why

Janis: well

Casey: yeah

Janis: you don’t have to stop being jealous of my past and I won’t of yours

Casey: tah very much

Janis: come on, we don’t need to dwell on it

Casey: you don’t, not still got a foot in the door with none of my past, have I

Janis: I’m not stopping you

Casey: I’m not stopping you, more like

Casey: but don’t tell us what to think

Janis: because it was never going to be an option to cut him out of our lives

Janis: I’ve never promised that because I’d have to break it

Casey: I’ve never needed telling how stuck with him I am, he’s my brother

Janis: hasn’t escaped my attention either

Casey: have a job to

Janis: just, say what you need to say, yeah

Casey: when don’t I

Janis: right, you’re frustrated but there’s no solution I can give you

Casey: story of my life

Janis: okay

Casey: it’s there, been said, we can leave it out now

Janis: yeah, sure

Casey: you who said best not dwelling on it

Janis: I didn’t realise you had such a problem with it then but

Janis: I said I ain’t stopping you either, do what you need to do

Casey: the fuck’s that mean, go on

Janis: What do you think it means, if you can’t hack it then what, what am I meant to do about that?

Casey: if I couldn’t hack it I wouldn’t be here

Janis: if you want to go fuck some more pretend lesbians, go ahead

Casey: have a listen to yourself, fuck’s sake

Janis: I mean it, because you know he isn’t going anywhere so if that helps you deal with that in your head

Casey: nor am I, so if you fancy trying to make yourself sound a bit bothered about what I’m up to, that’d be nice, like

Janis: you know I am, you know I always pissing well have been, even when it was none of my business

Casey: stop chatting shit like you want us to unknow it, like I’d go and do any of that to sort my head out or for fuck all reason

Janis: I don’t know what you wanted us to say to that

Casey: hurting you like that would do me in, who do you think I am

Janis: I’m sorry, just

Janis: yeah, let’s forget it, actually

Casey: what I said

Janis: yeah but you said it to shut me down

Casey: no, but you might as well shut up if you’re right there’s nothing you can say

Janis: this is fucking stupid, we’re not going to talk like you aren’t going to get a van so we can move in together, and a place where my family is gonna know

Janis: like that all means nothing

Casey: it means everything to me, but it don’t mean he means nothing to you or that I’m chuffed you’re gonna be best mates with him from here on, even if it will save his fucking life

Casey: my problem, and I’ll live with it

Janis: I know you’re not

Janis: it just makes me feel like a dick when I haven’t got a solution so yeah, I’ll shut up then

Casey: alright, good

Janis: [leave it for a while though it is not good lmao]

Casey: [keep walking and calm down hun]

Janis: I know it’s not fair, and that it seems like I get to keep everything I had and lose nothing

Janis: maybe I have to look at it all more

Casey: life ain’t, you’re doing what you’ve gotta and only that

Janis: it’s not the same between me and him, obviously but if it’s still too much, obviously I care what you feel

Casey: don’t matter as much as what he feels, not about to off myself here over none of it

Janis: it still matters

Casey: no, you’re having a baby with him and he needs to be about for that and our kid til he’s less of a massive one himself

Janis: that doesn’t mean what you reckon it means

Casey: yeah it does

Janis: so I get no say in it, no?

Casey: you’ve had your say, dickhead

Casey: don’t start

Janis: we’re not getting back together, for fuck’s sake

Casey: when have I said you are

Janis: you think that’s what this is, he lets on how fucked he is until we get back together and it magically fixes everything this time

Casey: I ain’t Libi or Bobby, that’s not how none of this goes nor what I fucking said

Janis: you’re saying I have to do what he says because he’s suicidal, which isn’t how it fucking works

Janis: just ‘cos I said I give a shit what you reckon

Casey: be a mate, not his bloody missus, think you’ll find is what I said

Janis: yeah that’s what I’m doing, we’re all on the same page

Casey: leave it out putting bollocks in your head that’s never been nowhere near my mouth, page I’m on

Janis: stop being confusing and just say what you mean first time, more like

Casey: I fucking did, it does my head in he’s gonna be so about, for the both of us, that’s it

Janis: okay, I get it

Casey: Lezzas stay proper best mates with their exes, you can have that one

Janis: tah

Casey: sort of mate I am

Janis: don’t mean we’re not still mates

Casey: might if you keep having a go at us

Janis: I never did

Casey: alright

Janis: come on, I didn’t

Casey: I said alright

Janis: ‘cos that means anything but bullshit, mate

Casey: it means stop it

Janis: I can’t bloody win today

Casey: feeling’s mutual

Janis: see you when you get back

Casey: [don’t reply, just load the shit from the car to the van when you are back, distract yourself with that so you don’t have to look at her or say anything]

Janis: [also load things obviously or you’ll just be sat there and that is extremely awkward, more so than this blatantly is, thank God your brother is not here lmao]

Casey: [and thank god one of you can drive the van back and the other the car so you don’t have to sit there in awks silence for the entire journey and at the other end you can busy yourselves the same way with unloading this van]

Janis: [not how we wanted moving in to be at all lads but we move, what else can you do, stop and refuse, clearly not]

Casey: [soz Fearghal for this tension but we were all expecting a weird vibe even if they were in the best mood ever because moving into the pub and that being how the news drops is awkward anyway, when everything is in just start unpacking whatever you’ve deemed essential shit you’d need right away and have thus put all together in one box or whatever so you don’t have to do it all in the one night, boy, we know this is how you cope]

Janis: [when you can’t both unpack this singular box so you’re truly just stood there, at least you can deal with talking to your grandfather until he leaves you to it but then you just have to decide on your next move, knowing its really too soon to walk Chubby again]

Casey: [because I’m being cliche and nobody can stop me, something making him turn around when he’s finished unpacking this box, whether it’s Chubby or what, maybe it’s that you’ve found where you put baby Jac’s toy in your pocket or wherever, and looking at her for the first time and it’s so !! because ILY and I don’t wanna fight with you and I hate this]

Janis: [looking back as !! because if we can’t fix something we fall apart and we can’t because we don’t even understand fully what you want from us, which is understandable ‘cos it’s a weird and complicated situation for us all, tilting our head and opening our mouth to say something but not managing to]

Casey: [doing the BIGGEST blinks and rubbing his eyes and all his other I can’t cry but I’m really sad and I will do everything but things, while just holding the !! look]

Janis: [walking closer to you but not fully coming over to you yet, Chubby probably is though like why hello ‘tell me what to do’ in a really pleading voice because we want you to]

Casey: [burying his head into this dog and hugging him because he can’t her from that distance, breaking my heart a lil bit actually ‘I don’t-’ because no need to finish that sentence even if you could which is impossible because of the massive I want to cry lump in his throat]

Janis: [just watching you hugging this dog trying not to cry our damn self now but still staying back because we think you only wanna hug the dog and not us and we’re not going to force ourself in the middle like hey ‘I’m sorry’ with all the feeling because we really are]

Casey: [kicking this empty cardboard box away or whatever you’ve used to pack stuff into but not in an angry way very much like he’s making room for her here on the floor with these lads ‘come here’ with all the feeling because he really needs her to]

Janis: [do, obviously, and instantly, try not to slide across this floor and fuck your knees up hun but you know, the drama is that real, hugging you so tight in a way Chubby is probably like mother chill]

Casey: [hugging her back as tightly and as instantly though, despite the way his chest is heaving like when you sob and how much everything would hurt because nothing is coming out ‘I’M sorry’ eventually, and it could take him a long time of y’all just insanely clinging to each other before he can speak remotely, with that much emphasis cos it’s literally like no me this is my fault]

Janis: [shaking our head slightly but mostly making the comforting noises you make akin to there, there and it’s alright without saying words about it, just pushing where your tears ducts are on his eyes, gently, but as if you can get this process going for him by doing this because you never know ‘you had every right and point to say what you did, it’s good’]

Casey: [the kind of lol that means it doesn’t feel good and ffs what are we like, without saying either of those things, because he’s simply too busy afterwards nuzzling into her neck and shoulder and chest like maybe that will work too and just because, getting slightly harder about it at each place, so obvs her chest is the hardest and he’s headbutting her a lil bit but not enough it’s gonna hurt or be really dramatic]

Janis: [‘I know’ with the same kind of exasperated tone behind it because we truly do, just watching him doing this nuzzling like you’re purely curious if it’ll work and you don’t also and always find him very cute ‘could poke you in the eye or rub chillies in them but-’ a little shrug into your face as soft/hard as the headbutt you just did on us because that reaction isn’t exactly crying, it’s just tears, if you get me]

Casey: [looking up to look at her because he’s thinking about when she licked his eyeball and all that nonsense and wondering if she poked his tear duct with her tongue and started licking it like cats do when they want their babies to piss etc that would work, but not saying anything because he’s distracted by her face and cupping it so softly like he’s never done that before or something]

Janis: [looking at him very ? like what are you wondering what do you know but we aren’t verbalising it, stroking your face like oh you sweet, sweet boy]

Casey: [pressing his forehead to hers and keeping it there for a really long time, or it feels like it anyway, like read my mind please]

Janis: [‘were you or were you not my best fucking friend when I was with him?’ despite the f-bomb we’re not saying this at all aggressively but in a !! understand and believe me POV ‘you haven’t stopped being, you never will, got it?’ all whilst foreheads are together, of course]

Casey: [kissing her because it’s the only acceptable response when everything she’s just said is so real and he knows it is, so softly but the most intense it has EVER been]

Janis: [trying to replicate the first time y’all ever kissed because of course you remember every beat of that to the degree you can replicate it, just the sort of bitches you are and he needs to know where your head is]

Casey: [of course he immediately knows what she’s doing and is doing the same, you two are insane but I love you, literally making the same noises and breathing the same and everything, could never be me I can’t remember anything ever but pop off, can even get in the same kind of spooning position as you were in that car on this floor because you’re already hugging it won’t take much]

Janis: [you are unhinged but we have to stan, somehow feels right that you’re replicating this first official moment as your first act in this new home together]

Casey: [it’s v cinematic and romantic and I love it for y’all because even though you’re that dedicated to doing everything exactly the same we all know it’ll be even more loving and intense because your feelings have only grown and grown since that first time]

Janis: [mhmm, exactly dr phil, as much as you’re keeping every move the same, the way we keep looking at you is so much more intense in ways that feel like they shouldn’t even be possible but are so real]

Casey: [mhmm and he’s being gentler with her when he manoeuvres her into every recreated position of the car hookup despite there being even more urgency and need than there was that day because feels are even higher than then]

Janis: [I can’t fully recall whether you did or didn’t during this hook up but we simply have to tell you how much we love you right now for all these reasons also]

Casey: [I can’t remember either but regardless he’s doing it too, you both need to say all this over and over because you’re too in love, and every other sound he’s made or is making since the start basically has been more !! anyway for the same reasons so why not]

Janis: [me like hope you locked your door, be awkward if Fearghal comes back up now like, won’t be that evil, none of y’all need that lmao; this is the softest yet most passionate fuck y’all have ever and you need all the time to revel in that]

Casey: [and they could have hours potentially because I don’t think we ever specified OG how long they were going at it before they essentially passed out to be awoken by that tap on the car window, which is how this will have to end cos what an exhausting day y’all have had and it’s not even over yet, I like to think however long it was you’ll spend longer anyway purely to fit this vibe of things being slightly different and more]

Janis: [that very much, no notes huns, at least if you’re all passed out on the floor, Chubby will wake you with face licks like the loving boy he is, and y’all can get in your bed and actually sleep for however long you need before picking it up later, ‘cos lord knows a nap is so warranted]

Casey: [agreed, and you’re definitely also gonna need to feed Chubby at some point and have some food yourselves because she ate a sandwich pre-Jimothy hook up and he’s had some crisps at the pub as his last thing and he probably hasn’t had much else with all the shit y’all have been up to today, I bet Fearghal has stocked the fridge for your arrival with some basics because he’s that sort of bitch]

Janis: [create yourselves a little bed picnic lads, you can’t survive on your feelings and feral ways alone]

Casey: [we love a bed picnic and I love the shameless vibe of y’all running to the fridge to grab pretty much everything there is and then rushing back into bed ASAP to snuggle and eat, how cute]

Janis: [know you’re living your best lives just shoving whatever food there is into your gobs ‘cos this is pure sustenance because all we can focus on still is you, hence of course feeding you things when you could very much do it yourself just to get to give you heart eyes and be that close and intense]

Casey: [living their best lives is exactly it but I am gonna need the food and the snuggling and the emotions to eventually make y’all sleepy because I have an idea for the role reversal of him sleeping when she came home and it goes like this, picture the scene lol, he wakes up randomly at some point cos Chubby is whining so he quickly gets up and throws some clothes on to take him for a piss before he wakes her too, not a full walk but just taking him outside and waiting while he does his business and then going back in, but then the cold air and the fact he’s up makes him need a piss himself so obvs he goes to the toilet and does that before he strips off and gets back into bed with her, who’s still sleeping, ofc though all the mems of that new kink unlocked turn him on so when he’s back big spooning her there’s that erection pressing against her again like a throwback to all those car bonnet dryhump antics, he’s not doing anything for now other than snuggling her close and placing an even gentler kiss on her shoulder than he did after that hookup cos doesn’t wanna wake her, but that’s how it starts, me here like in this essay, I will, soz for the waffle]

Janis: [love that for you and my boo getting to waffle, go off queen; we’re here making sleepy happy noises when you recognise that your love is closer to you but you’re not actually waking up, your body just in control and loving being squished, pulling him closer]

Casey: [the sleepy happy noises are everything, hence cannot help doing the booty hole taps with that same erection he did when he was injured and had to fuck her via toothbrush, just letting her enjoy that sensation but not doing any more or actually going in with it as he also cups her booty cheeks with all the gentleness ever and gives them little scratches, rubbing her lower back at the same time, before eventually he stops those antics to concentrate on actually properly massaging her back and shoulders, giving them little scratches as well, slightly harder on her shoulders to echo what she did to him earlier but still soft af so she doesn’t wake up yet]

Janis: [just arching to wherever he’s touching you next because there’s no pretense when you’re asleep, just following what feels nice and being adorably shameless about it, lowkey sitting on him whilst you’re both laying ‘cos you’re moving into his touch so hard, doing a sleepy happy sigh and an attempt at his name, whether it actually comes out as his name]

Casey: [doing a quiet but loved up and feelsy ‘hey, you’ in response to her adorable and blatant responses, touching her but again not going in, just playing with her foof lips etc and like seeing how wet she is with his fingers and then the tip of him, but very much staying at the entrance of her, not being feral, even though he’d have to breathe so hard onto her skin at how the feels and the amount of restraint required to not just simply do the most, but then she sits on him and so he has to MOAN into her hair to try and suppress the noise of it, getting to enjoy that being all in his mouth ‘that’s it, my love’ quiet af but very much directed at her and not himself ‘you sit there’ the way there sounds, like a voice break and a GASP because she’s in such a good position, and how proud and happy he sounds because she wants him as much as he wants her, all the good girl vibes and energy in his voice and how he’s again holding her, with his arms right around her tightly]

Janis: [doing a tiny hot lol about it which is mostly muffled by the way we’re having to nuzzle our head into our pillow to deal with how this feels, gently rocking our hips back and forth which would be directionless if you weren’t holding us as tight as you are and in exactly the right spot so have your own gasp back and then some, biting our pillow]

Casey: [we all know he wants to hold her that tight forever but we also know that when he is he won’t be able to resist using both hands to play with her nips, gently at first, especially on the one he bit earlier but going harder because he can literally feel it making her wetter and he’s so into it ‘your nipples are as hard as my cock’ again like he’s SO proud and with all the good girl energy ever like well done and he’s that buzzing ‘good girl’ coming out because it can’t not]

Janis: [doing the sleepy thing of repeating what is just said to you like you heard it and you understand but in this case you also sound like you’re as proud of yourself when you say ‘good girl’ because its being paired with more moaning happening at this added touch, our own hands fumbling around this bed like we’re trying to find you but cannot]

Casey: [DYING about all of it hence, whilst he hasn’t stopped what he’s up to with the nips, in fact he’s only doing more, duh, he’s kissing whatever bare skin is in reach with so much urgency as well, saying ‘wake up, baby, it’s time to wake up’ because he’s !! and he needs her to know what is happening rn and be !! with him or else he won’t be able to resist being really feral and the whole point is he wants her to control what’s happening with how she wants to move and do, the softness of his voice in absolute contrast, like when you’re waking a literal child and you don’t wanna scare them]

Janis: [doing little grumpy noises about it like no no because you think you’re in the middle of a really good dream and do not want to be disturbed from it ‘leave us alone’ but in contrast to that getting closer to him and holding his hands on you tightly where they are, actually using us as a plural for once like someone else is trying to wake her up here]

Casey: [doing comforting kinds of shhing at her grumpy noises and breathing on her again in between all the kisses he’s still doing, dramatically kissing the bite shoulder area like please wake up without saying it because all he can do in terms of sounds is moan her name softly but also dramatically because ILYSM]

Janis: [can be kind and put this boy out of his torture, kinda, and say your name does wake you up enough, wiping the sleep away from your eyes like yes, what do you need babe, give yourself a moment to realise that the position you thought you were in in your dream is actually happening in the waking world which makes his name come out full !! with how wet you are also dawning on you like holy shit, wriggle yourself around to face him with all the urgency because need to kiss him]

Casey: [kissing her back like it’s a much more dramatic and intense af version of the good morning kiss you’d casually give someone you love who’d just woken up every morning before you got up to go about your day, giving her little scratches all down her shoulders, back and booty again now that she is awake to feel them, over and over until his fingers are just pressing into her like !! because he doesn’t have any nails]

Janis: [when how excited you are is fully overwhelming so you’re kissing over his entire face and upper body like you’re a puppy or something because there’s only one way to deal with this and it’s to be as feral, making noises about all this scratching ‘cos it feels too nice and you can only rub your head into him so hard, you’re basically purring here]

Casey: [likewise overwhelmed by how turned on you both are and why so blurting out that he wants to cum on her how he pissed on her earlier, all while kissing her face everywhere, including places that jizz absolutely wouldn’t end up while he’s aiming at her mouth mostly like her eyebrow and ears, shoutout to that ear lovebite from earlier he’s going back over and the tongue fucking of her ear which is making another appearance]

Janis: [attempting to get up onto your knees too fast on this soft surface and toppling back down onto him which makes you lol but also look at him all !! because kinda winded yourself and now you’re just here being lavished upon ‘I’m dreaming’ like you’re lying, there’s no way this is real life]

Casey: [pushing her back !! into her pillow like no no because he really wants to make her cum first before he’s doing it all over her, desperate as he is to, and also because he was blatantly really into when she nuzzling into her pillow and biting it before, so pushing her face into it as he tells her about that like ‘you was dreaming when you…’ those details + ‘and..’ telling her everything else that has happened from the very start in graphic detail, including of course how needing to go for a piss started all this by turning him on so much]

Janis: [the way we are DYING at being your captive audience here and hanging on every word, crossing your legs tighter and tighter at every detail, ‘til you are having to bite your pillow again at the last detail ‘did you go outside?’ ‘cos assumedly, you are a man]

Casey: [shaking his head automatically but then being like oh she can’t see this because I’m lowkey suffocating her by pushing her head into this pillow ‘I came back in’ + either saying ‘to be near you’ or ‘to see you’ depending on the layout of this flat and whether he can see her from the bathroom if she’s in the bedroom or not, you know what I mean]

Janis: [‘that’s why you’re so hard’ and regardless of how muffled this is by our pillow gag, you’re catching our drift by the way we’re lifting up a foot to run along your dick like oh hi]

Casey: [the SOUND he’s making at this because yes he is and her lil footjob moment is really iconic, no notes, even if he is playfighting her to pin her back onto this bed cos of how much they both like it]

Janis: [just using this as a moment to make it abundantly clear to him how turned on you are by ‘fighting back’ by attempting to get yourself sat on his face like come on, just struggling against him as hard as you can nbd]

Casey: [they love a fight and he especially loves how obvious it is that she’s fighting back that hard and giving it her all, meaning he’s letting that go on for a while before he gives in and gives her what she wants, the added bonus being by the time he starts she’ll already be so weakened and breathless by that fight and then he’s just gonna shamelessly be killing her by doing THE MOST]

Janis: [again not holding your own weight at all so he has to or die under you because all your focus is on how it feels and how dead you are and are gonna be ‘just like that, baby’]

Casey: [don’t mind him just pulling out all the stops and being feral immediately because of how much they are both dying and how badly he wants to kill her as many times as physically possible before he has to stop to cum all over her face, nbd, just typical them]

Janis: [could not be more obliging because we’ve been needing to cum since before you woke us up so that’s happening basically instantly ‘you gonna let me piss on you too?’]

Casey: [likewise but he isn’t stopping yet because he’s gotta keep going until he literally cannot cope anymore and she’s that dead that she can’t either, he’s just that sort of bear, oh sis, the sound that’s coming out of him that couldn’t be more of a yeah despite not being anything but an unhinged noise because she has his FULL consent for that, no fucks given if it’s right now immediately tbh, he’ll change the sheets in the middle of the night or whatever the hell time it is]

Janis: [we’ll just be here getting killed, ‘tis our favourite pastime and there’s no need to stop, you can cum multiple times and will, right now just describing in great detail all the ways you could and have considered pissing on him, every time like like that? You want that? Etc because we know he does, y’all are the same]

Casey: [it’ll be so obvious how into all of these scenarios he is by how utterly feral he’s being in both sounds and actions, literally trying to join in and contribute despite the fact he’s not stopping what he’s doing for a second so it’s just unhinged sounds and nonsense, and it’ll be as blatant which his fave or faves are by how he’s being even more hardcore with how he’s killing her and how his body is involuntarily moving thanks to how insanely turned on he is and therefore can’t help trying to fuck the bed sheets or whatever is nearest him]

Janis: [whenever y’all land on his clear absolute fave, just going over it and adding more details, despite how long this takes you because it makes him kill you harder but that’s the whole point ‘I wish you’d woke me up, threw me on the bathroom floor and pissed all over my naked body’ as an add-on like fyi because we’re in full kink unlocked fantasy mode now]

Casey: [when you’re so into what she just said that he cannot help but get his teeth involved, throwback to when she did that to him one time, please try not to really injure her, I trust you in spite of how ridiculously feral you are in this moment sir]

Janis: [we’ll make it clear that our screaming is only the good kind, I’m sure, because no chill when it comes to pain as pleasure with us ‘slap my face before you cum on it, please’]

Casey: [when that reaction is TOO MUCH for him when he’s this !!! so he’s got no choice but to throw her on the bathroom floor ASAP and cum all over her naked body in the most dramatic way possible since there is 0 chance of pissing and he needs this, you can start with her face though, like you wanted, and you can slap her like she wants before roughly grabbing her jaw with the same hand you’re not using to help you aim to keep her exactly where you want her before you’re moving on to everywhere else in a less controlled way, because blatantly gonna be made more frenzied by whatever her reaction to said slap is]

Janis: [the way I know you’re going to cum the second he slaps you like you can in any way control that, like it seems that staged but could not be further from the truth because you have 0 control over how much that just turned you on and how much you adore it when he’s in control too, not looking away from him for one second of this, however feral and insane you may look because of how you need to react, we do not care at all, literally rubbing this into our body in the most indecent way with no shame at all in how we look right now on the cold hard ground]

Casey: [even if he was that bitch and we know he isn’t, there can be no judgement here because he’s acting and reacting as insane and feral as her rn, all control has been lost, including volume, thank god for being above a pub and the fact we can say you haven’t slept for so long that all is quiet down there because no fucks given if that was the case atm cos he can do nothing about it regardless but for the sake of us doing y’all that favour anyway, he’ll likewise be watching every single thing she does until the very last second when he’s forced to COLLAPSE onto her fully on this floor because he’s cumming that hard he’s basically convulsing about it lol, you’ll be getting covered in all the bodily fluids too hun and loving it, finding her mouth to kiss her even though he is THAT dead because NEEDS T0, barely having the strength to move her hair out of the way, just clinging to it like his hand is a baby hand like HELP]

Janis: [and at least when it is fully quiet that means no one is here because not a residential area so that will work very well for y’all too; right now we’re here holding him between our legs so tightly like we got you, frantically guiding him inside you so he can just be there and feel how you’re contracting from all the times and the intensity of which you just came too, kissing him like you can get him pregnant with the way you are pushing his spunk down his throat with your tongue, holding his head still by the back of the neck]

Casey: [you can have fun gagging about it whether you actually gotta or you’re just doing it because you both like it and you wanna cover her with as many bodily fluids as possible, me like if you throw up that bed picnic I’ll be so mad at you boy, but I know neither of you would be at all]

Janis: [‘it tastes good, be grateful’ like don’t insult my man lol but we’re so completely heart eyes at your reaction, despite slapping your cheeks as we’re then pinching your nose and clamping a hand over your mouth like you better swallow]

Casey: [just having a playfight to remove her hands but purely so he can swallow willingly and there’s no doubt it’s 1000% intentional because he is that bitch, and doing the most dramatic swallow he has ever, while keeping eye contact that’s !! af and hearteyes]

Janis: [grinning at you because everything about that was so hot and we love you, playfight your way to be sat on top of him so you can just stare at him, rubbing all this bodily fluid mess into him like you were doing to yourself before]

Casey: [put your arms around her and hold her tight like you were doing in bed when she was sitting on you before, breathing absolutely manically because of everything that’s just occurred but still managing to do such a happy sigh]

Janis: [be here in this aggressive bear hug, attempting to get your breath back but not caring in the least how long this takes ‘Casey’ said like you have something to say but you really do not or there is too much to verbalise so just giving him a gentle shaky kiss like that is all]

Casey: [pulling her head back gently but to a ridiculous degree so you can expose as much of her throat as possible and therefore kiss as much of it as possible, over and over again, little kisses in contrast to this tight hold]

Janis: [just be here making your little noises that are more focused around the vibrations for him to feel although you can’t help but make some that are pure 🥺 noise]

Casey: [just continuing to do this as if she had things she wanted to say stuck in there and you’re trying to coax them out/kiss her better but really we’re both just here living our best lives and enjoying this, I see y’all]

Janis: [just giving him his own little scratches, wherever you can because y’all are hugging that tight so gotta make whatever works work ‘special boy’ like that’s a whole sentence ‘cos it’s about as much as we can manage rn]

Casey: [giving her another ‘good girl’ now she’s properly awake to hear it but gotta add a my in front of it for how extra he is feeling here in this moment]

Janis: [feeling like you’re physically melting into him like any resistance or tension your body was holding for whatever reason is just gone and you’re so dead about this ‘yeah?’ in the quietest voice]

Casey: [‘missed you’ with all the feeling EVER as if she was asleep for a thousand years without him instead of like half an hour at most and realistically I doubt even that]

Janis: [nuzzling into his neck so softly but giving him a lil nip when you say ‘missed you too’ because it’ll always be mutual]

Casey: [nuzzling into her chest with the same energy, listening to her heartbeat going cray and putting her hand on your chest to feel how mutual that is]

Janis: [attempting to match tapping your hand against his chest to how its beating inside but you can’t even keep up, doing a lol that is lowkey awestruck because never going to be over any of this ‘do you feel better?’ seems like such a random question but we really wanna make sure]

Casey: [nodding because he feels so much better he can’t even begin to verbalise it but he’s still nuzzled af into her chest so definitely ending up with all the bodily fluids on his forehead or face and doing his own lol like and now I look even better as well]

Janis: [turning his face up towards you by using his jaw but in comparison to how he did heat of the moment, doing it very deliberately and with barely any actual force at all ‘you’re gorgeous’]

Casey: [‘you’ against her lips as he kisses her, soft but intense]

Janis: [just having a full-on makeout on the floor, like it’s the most romantic place to be]

Casey: [I love that you lads, meanwhile Chubby probably has the whole bed to himself and will be so confused and grumpy when y’all eventually do come back and he has to move]

Janis: [Chubby says actually no, this is my bed now and you can only get in if you can find room lol]

Casey: [he deserves it, y’all definitely woke him and got him up from his own bed to yours by being feral, but it’s fine because you aren’t intending to move from this bathroom floor any time soon and when you do it’ll only be as far as the sink so he can start to clean her up a little bit, but mostly have a waterfight, but a chill one so you don’t flood your new bathroom]

Janis: [oh to have a flat that isn’t disgusting because mcvickers aren’t slum landlords, the novelty, the joy, you know we’re running away from you purposely so you’ll chase us and we can bring you into the spare room aka the nursery, spinning back to look at him like ! but with a smile]

Casey: [when your plan was to catch her and throw her into the bath and then get the showerhead on her properly partly as a punishment for running off mid clean up/waterfight and partly because you haven’t actually cleaned her up very much with those antics and he’s literally about to grab her but then she looks back and it HITS where they are and he’s just there like OH because hasn’t been in there yet, so he can’t stop himself from looking around everywhere even though it’s an empty room before he’s then taking her hand and walking her around it like omg, and we ALL know he’s thinking about what is gonna go where and the bookshelves he said he’s gonna build for Jac’s smart gal baby library and just getting so !]

Janis: [we love how excited you get about everything and it is the only thing that makes us excited/happy about this idea currently because we can’t imagine her as a real thing nor of ourself as a decent parent but your energy is infectious and we love it thus we’re going on this little room tour like there is anything in here and you’re saying what you’re planning because we can imagine it already]

Casey: [eventually when he’s finished walking round, stopping her in the middle and getting on baby Jac’s level how he did earlier ‘this is your room’ like she is looking around too and can see and imagine it the same way, giving such I know you’re gonna love it energy with how he said that ‘all for you, yeah, I know, massive, ain’t it?’ as if baby Jac is talking back excitedly like omg I can’t believe this ‘I’m hearing it’ll do so no kicking off once all your toys are in and you can’t move for ‘em’ don’t mind him being a soft nerd]

Janis: [when you’re still naked of course so there is no hiding in any sense right now, rubbing your still flat stomach like oi, so rude, like your womb is not big enough for her even though she’s like a pea-sized blob currently or whatever ‘reckon they might let you paint it whatever colour you want’ because mcvickers are soft touches like that, true lol, it’s the way we’re so less sure when we attempt to talk to this child than he is]

Casey: [reading her mind and literally saying ‘I’ll move myself in’ as if that’s a possibility because shamelessly would live in her if he could like don’t worry I appreciate you babe, rubbing her stomach too and leaving his hands over hers reassuringly because he loves when she tries to talk to this bub even though it’s way harder for her so not trying to say anything like he’s taking over]

Janis: [smirking at him like oh yeah, we’d both prefer that but there is some genuineness there too because you’re too cute ‘black and white might look a bit mental though’ ‘cos with the amount of babies that’ve passed through your fam, sure you’re aware that those are the best colours for a baby to see and thus interact with, shaking your head like Baby Jac just has crap taste]

Casey: [when he has no reason to know that and thinks she’s just saying it god knows why so giving her such an adorably confused look like um wut and looking at the bump she doesn’t have like why do you want those colours gal wtf lol]

Janis: [tell him the tea about babies only seeing black and white at the very start and how they also like round shapes like faces because your face is all they can see very well to begin with ‘probably some wanky thing people do like play classical music to the bump though’ ‘cos it doesn’t sound like its necessary to go hard with it but you know how people cling to these things, doing a shrug ‘long as it ain’t pink’ like you simply cannot when really you don’t care]

Casey: [listening so sincerely because he genuinely wants to do the best by this bub and immediately suggesting a chalkboard painted wall over where her cot is gonna be and going up to the wall you’ve decided that is and drawing a heart with his finger on it because duh]

Janis: [doing a tick and a smiley faced baby which perhaps does not come across as easy as the tick so you just lol and stop and nod your head because you think that’s genuinely a good idea and one that would look nice as well as be practical]

Casey: [my brain just immediately imagining this entire fam drawing and writing cute things on this wall when things are better, including jimothy, excuse me making myself emosh totally unnecessarily]

Janis: [my head was entirely there too, as well as y’all having it when you’re toddlers and being able to do your own doodles without repercussions because kids love drawing on walls lol]

Casey: [it just needs to be a thing even they totally re-decorate the rest to not be monochrome af when these bubs can see, leave that wall alone thank you, in the here and now though he’s just smiling at her so genuinely cos so happy and excited about this]

Janis: [honestly monochrome is pretty clean girl of you if you lean into white more and don’t go mad with an equal amount of black and white lol so slay; just bringing you back up to our level so we can hug you for a sec]

Casey: [hug her back and it’s the kind of hug that has him spinning her around because just the mood he’s in, soz not soz]

Janis: [we’re as much in it so we spinning until we basically crash into that wall but not through it because not ruining this place thanking you]

Casey: [in no world is he not pressing her up against that wall and making out with her like they haven’t kissed or touched in a million years]

Janis: [when the lil noise you make as you thud into the wall turns into a contented lil moan into this kiss because always ready to touch you some more]

Casey: [have your naked makeout sesh and try not to get anything grim on this wall please]

Janis: [at least you’re definitely painting it but still lol, have some decorum my boo says, the decorum we’re not having by dropping the d word like its hot with ALL the meaning and feeling behind it rn]

Casey: [just remembering my booty print plus when barbara and tom made out and got that mark on the wall from his gross hair lol, but these lads care not and he’s giving her the m word back with exactly the same energy obvs]

Janis: [hard same haha, icons only hun; when for the first time lowkey, at least fully, you like it for the double meaning opposed to just his and thus your own mummy kink, like OH, kissing him back harder for it]

Casey: [when you KNOW because you know her and everything she has thought or is thinking and you’re so happy about it that you’re literally instigating other hookup right now immediately despite no time passing since the last one]

Janis: [could not be more thrilled, RIP cleaning up, you hoes, it’ll wait, right now you need to be IN LOVE and acting like you are making a baby here and now]

Casey: [mhmm, they gotta, it’s the housewarming vibe they deserve tbh after all the drama earlier, I would like to let you know that throughout this he will be drawing on her as if she is the wall, soz jimothy coming for your vibe but needs must, excuse me, it will just be shit like the love hearts they do though, not saying he’s mad arty, at most recreating the drawing vibe of when he drew a house on her before but making it look like the pub in shape etc and doing an arrow up to where they are and the little stick fam of them all, you know what I’m saying]

Janis: [will be doing a little cry because this is all the most but we’re actually happy and you’re gonna know they’re happy tears so nobody panic, as relieved to be here and with you in this place when for a second everything was scary like you were gonna go, then add all the baby emotions and we’re done, good night]

Casey: [he will know it’s a happy cry and LOVE that it is hence he won’t even be wiping any of the tears away how he would if they were sad ones, he’s just letting them all cover y’all like everything else has, tis poetic and cinematic]

Janis: [we’re so on the level ‘cos I was picturing the exact same thing, do this until you end up falling back into your bed where this sesh started, excuse us Chubby but you may also come and snuggle]

Casey: [our minds, boo, at least you can then have a fam snuggle until y’all fall asleep again until it’s actually morning or almost because y’all need the rest, you’ve barely slept lately and we’ve only been giving you naps so far and it’s a good place to leave them until it’s Libi’s actual day of bday or just before when they are getting Peach etc as the next kind of jj and jc thing we need to do that isn’t just jc being feral daily and constantly lol or peeps talking shit on this scandal which they don’t care about]

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canachlol · 1 year

Text

Losing Faith

The ship dilemma proposes the idea that if you replace enough parts of a boat that it will no longer be the same boat it started out as, and some people argue that it will always be the same boat.

How many pieces of a shattered soul do you have to replace before they are no longer their original self?

Imagine this:

You are a little girl, you don’t know who birthed you, you just know that the haggard old drunk on the corner of the street you live on is the only one who’s shown any care towards you.

You learn to talk from her, you learn to walk from her, and you learn what is and isn’t safe to drink (Imagine the taste of over fermented ale on your tongue after you haven’t had drinking water in days, that flavor will stay with you for the rest of your life)

Now I want you to imagine this:

You are that little girl but older now, you grow into yourself and thrive by picking pockets and bunkering down with other kids now that your granny has passed on.

You used to look at yourself in puddles, staring into your own brown eyes and at your slightly pointed ears wondering who decided to put you on this plane, only to abandon you minutes later, as if your life mattered less than theirs.

You stopped looking in puddles after that.

It's hard to sever yourself from your identity when you never had one to begin with, so when you decide that you cannot remain where you are and as who you are, you make drastic changes, you cut your long red hair that wasn’t worth saving from the years of tangles it gathered, you cover your ears, you stop looking in windows, and you leave the town you were seemingly birthed in, except you don’t really know that.

Let's keep going, shall we?

You are still a young girl, but you’ve traveled enough to know how to scheme, cheat, lie, deceive, and all the other derogatory descriptors for how you have to make a living.

You’re pickpocketing in unfamiliar territory and later your victim tracks you down and beats the shit out of you, nothing new, comes with the job, and no one will care if it’s you getting beaten on, you feel indifferent about this situation.

What is new are the people who stop being bystanders and start being companions. They both help you up from your position on the ground, supporting you on either side because that asshole broke your leg for sure during his destress, detoxify, whatever routine it was.

A dwarf with the prettiest long blonde hair who played the flute for you in their room at the local inn while you were laying in a luxurious bed with the most heavenly pillows to comfort your aching back, and a strange planted person with a mushroom cap as hair who you didn’t see arrive until the late hours of the evening covered in blood with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Don’t gotta worry about that guy anymore!” He said with a laugh, you remember laughing too, while the dwarven lady smiled behind the flute that was to her lips.

You have felt indifferent for most of your life, these people make you feel like you’re in a different place entirely, one where the world can’t hurt you.

You can stop imaging now, because instead of imaging, let's start asking.

If you are a young girl who’s had nothing until they had something, do you have the right to gain more things?

You, a Dwarf, and what you learn to be, is a Sylvari, are now a trio, traveling together and becoming big faces on wanted posters everywhere. Your Sylvari brother exasperates you with how much he says he hates his home, but you enjoy his tales of Malar, the deity he has chosen to follow, he always emphasized that word, and until you started following Malar too, you didn’t understand why.

Malar admires your desire to hunt, to chase, to gather, you can hear him conveying this through the moonbeams that pierce the canopy of forests at night, in the bones of the animals you prepare after a long days’ work, in the jingle of each coin pouch you steal from an unexpecting victim, and you have never wanted to chose something as badly as following Malar.

He shows you how to heal in return for your acts of devotion that come in the form of the activities you just happen to enjoy, he doesn’t give you kind words but you’re okay with that, you have your brother and sister for that, he is something else entirely, he is the smell of blood that lingers after each of your kills, he is the reign on your dark thoughts, and he is the one who becomes your reason for living

The ache in your head that persists quells at the thought of what you’ve gained in a short span of a couple years. Yes, you do think that you deserve these things.

Questions can tell you a lot about someone but their fatal flaw will always be that they try to answer correctly. Let's remove that option.

If the world was ending, what makes you one of the people worth being alive and left in the wake of the aftermath?

You are nearing adulthood when the world shatters.

One minute you’re huddled together with your siblings for warmth as the winter is unforgiving and serves as a test for those who think they have the right to live when they themselves are worth so little, the next minute you’re burning your feet because hellfire has risen from the cracks of the earth, and there are hell creatures crawling their way through, biting at your heels and dragging wildlife around you into the air, you are witnessing their first hunt on this plane.

Your trio fights tooth and nail for the next couple of years, you find out that people are calling it the shattering, that other planes of existence have invaded yours, half the population has been irreversibly harmed by malicious creatures, and there is absolutely no fixing it, not that you had any plans of doing so.

So you and your siblings do what you’ve always done, you survive, you travel, and you hunt, only it’s different this time as the prey has changed, you don’t get to choose what you hunt now, whether it’s an animal or a person makes no difference, the shattering has bread a new form of brutality and violence, it is truly every man for themselves.

A part of you likes this

Your vicious nature wins out against the world, you know this is what makes you worthy of being a fighter in this new time, and while others lose faith in their Gods who were always fickle to begin with, Malar is still with you, and you are with him, this is where you both belong

In a world that has turned a new leaf, to reveal a blackened, molded, and wilted face, if you turn to the person next to you, what do you see in the reflection of their eyes?

Your sister has her sights set on something, when she gets like this it’s impossible to get her on a different track, she’s a hunter just as much as you are, and she’s caught the scent of her next target.

You and your brother don’t understand a lot of what she does during this time, she takes up muttering as a habit, often to the point where it becomes full conversations with the air in front of her, she walks in a straight line no matter what obstacle stands in her way, her battleaxe clears it easily, and more importantly she stops talking to you and your brother

When she finds her prize you are surprised that it is not a person or creature, but a place. Her eyes are brighter than you’ve seen in months, you can see her slowly returning to herself, your brother is just as relieved as you, even as broody as he is, he never had any of his rage-fests about his weird mom become so big that he lost himself in it, so even with your suspicions you continue to follow her in her bliss

She leads you on, periodically going in and out of states of clear mindedness, you can tell this is affecting her but you don’t know how to help, you find yourself holding your sister’s hand more often as to avoid her walking into danger, your trio becomes a daisy chain, but the flowers wilt soon after.

You don’t remember how you got to the arena, but you know that you last saw your sister looking down at you with something horrible gleaming in that stare. Your brother was nowhere to be seen, and it remains that way in the present. You are alone, and at the mercy of your handler and her sponsors that think you can make big money for them.

They tell you that it's the only way to get back to your siblings and you don’t believe it, you break out between matches, you make a bloody scene not made for entertainment, breaking noses, teeth, and slashing with your overgrown nails with Malar humming praise in the way their blood splatters against the walls, until eventually they tire of your efforts.

Everything around you can constantly be changing but as long as you have support you can climb any mountain, cross any river, and devour any challenger. So of course it makes sense that without your support you collapse. Except that isn’t something you think about until it happens.

Your sponsor is pleased with you, they say as they run their hands through your hair, you are shackled when you aren’t fighting as the staff has learned their lesson and your name became a warning from those who survived your attempts at escaping. Your sponsor knows this, knows the amount of effort you’ve put into leaving, sabotaging, and surviving, and takes your jaw in one of her hands, the other still at the back of your head as they tell you that your actions have consequences, that you’ve been let off the hook for far too long

You remember screaming for Malar as the hand at the back of your head viciously rips out chunks of your hair and scalp with a demonic like strength, the red blood mixing in with your hair as it falls to the ground is something you do not see, but you don’t need to to know that it happened. You begged Malar to help you, to heal you, to intervene as you were dragged by your chains to the arena. You heard the hungry growls of hellhounds across from you as you were tossed to the sand.

You felt every bite at your face, every scratch at your body, every hot breath that touched your skin, every wet snout that nosed its way into your flesh, but you did not feel Malar. Instead you felt something hot that seethed under your skin until it burst out in a cloud of shadowed feathers. It crooned in your ear as you were being devoured, offering you an extension of itself, and you grabbed at it.

Breaking out of your binds felt better than it should have, the release of your limbs didn’t feel quite like your own, they felt bigger, clawed, desperate, and most importantly hungry. Tearing into those wolves was not an option you were supposed to have, but you’d be damned if you didn’t fight until the very end, and if Malar wasn’t going to help you, you’d accept the one who would.

In the after hours of the exhibition, your handler declared you fit to be a new blank slate, but you could not hear anything over the pounding of blood under your skin, the anger you felt was palpable in the room, only matched by the joy of your handler as they started stitching you anew, threading hair into your bloodied scalp, blushing your cheeks with an overly red pigment, and applying it on your chapped, busted, and gnarled lips as well.

Where did Malar go when you needed him the most? When did he stop being there? When did you become too weak for him?

But during that moment where your identity that you had worked so hard to forge for yourself was forcibly stripped from you, was it really a lack of Malar you were feeling? Or was it the fact that you had known he would not help you, you’ve always praised Malar for his unholy morals, he supported you in your hunts because he was the reason they existed, deep down you knew he was not going to help you when you became prey.

Your new patron seems content in your anger, and sees fit to hide under your skin, it’s a temporary arrangement, he says, at least until I leave and find him something better to extend from. You accept this with an internal understanding that you have lost everything and have changed beyond the point of recognition.

Your next attempt at escaping goes off without a hitch, it takes more matches to gain back the freedom you need to break out of your dirty and piss stained cell but your patron makes it a breeze once you’ve done the hard work. The thrum of excitement under your skin as you prepared armor out of your opponents in preparation brought a familiar feeling of calm, yes he was indeed your new patron now, and the call to hunt was even stronger, it was almost overwhelming but all you needed to do was let go and you were off, slashing guards and spectators alike as you climbed the walls of the arena and stormed through the rows of seats to the exit.

In the end. No one could really stop you that time, they relied so heavily on breaking you that they didn’t consider what would happen if you had shattered. After all, if you had lost your faith, your power, your identity, and your family, what other option is there than to get it back?

#dnd #original content #writing #fantasy #ttrpg #oc #dndoc

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joeyskattebo · 2 years

Text

Popsicle

“Row, row, row your boat,

Gently down the stream.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,

Life is but a dream.”

-Eliphalet Oram Lyte

The alarm goes off at 9:00 a.m., and Sara slowly gets up out of bed and gets dressed for work:

“I fucking hate this routine,” she yells while buttering her toast. Sara is a woman in her early thirties who has a decent job in somewhere in England, and lives alone in a house in the nice part of town; she is a pretty woman with sad eyes. Her clothes are black like her long hair; she sits at the table to eat her toast, and drink a cup of coffee. Sara eats breakfast and gets in her car in the driveway, she was about to start it when, a handsome green haired man wearing a plaid blazer and torn pink pants with big black boots walks in front of her car.

“Oh, hey Jim,” Sara said calmly as she started the car and drove around Jim, and was on her way to work. After returning from work at around 8:00 p.m., she finds Jim in the same spot that she left him, sitting on her driveway eating crisps out of a large paper bag on her driveway.

“May I have some crisps please?”

“Go right ahead,” Jim said with a smile. Sara grabs a handful of crisps and sits next to him, both staring at the large paper bag of crisps on her driveway. After they eat all the crisps, a silence struck them. In a conscious effort to break the silence Sara gives Jim a proposition:

“Smoke a joint?” Sara said in a manner much younger than she was.

“Yippee!!” Jim replied returning the child like fun as he got to his feet. They both entered Sara’s kitchen, and congregated around her table. Sara set her briefcase on the table and opened it and under her files, and other work papers was a zip lock bag filled with pot and rolling papers. She rolled a joint for the two of them and then smoked it. And then she rolled another one for them to share; and they smoked that one. He is a handsome man in his late twenties and is fearful and weary:

“I don’t know Sara, Brain fucking hates me! I paid him least week and he says I didn’t, its bullshit,” Jim said as he passes Sara the joint.

“We got to find someone else, he does nothing but lie and steal, and his stuff isn’t that great. There is better stuff that is cheaper…it’s just not always to find.” He agrees, and shortly after Sara told him that she needed to go to bed so she can get up early for work. They said their goodbyes, and Jim walked to the bus stop at the corner; Jim was covered in tattoos, and usually wore dirty clothes. After waiting ten more minutes he grew frustrated, and decided just to walk home instead since he didn’t live that far away. Upon opening his front door he begins to sing a Modest Mouse song:

“I’m trying, I’m trying to drink away the part of the day that I cannot sleep away,” in ten minutes he felt nothing but pure joy; considering he just to shot up a heavy dose of heroin. Now feeling a sense of accomplishment, he crawls to bed and sleeps like a baby. In the near future Sara was busy with one of her favorite activities: She was at Brain’s house in the outskirts of a small town, well outside of the city where she lived. Sara and Jim brought every drug under the sun from Brain; he is wealthy and arrogant. Doing drugs is among Sara’s favorite activities but this one suppressed them all: violence. Violence was Sara’s favorite drug in fact; she is right now: after asking him a question, she attacks him and kills him. And shortly after, she loads his body into her trunk and drives back home. The drive home is not a pleasant one, all by herself with no music; just the sound of the wind and sparse traffic. Under different circumstances this would have been a happy experience, but what happened, happened, and there was no going back. She then sadly walks into her house, and knows she has a lot of work to do. Sara was about to partake in a few of her other favorite activities: Witchcraft, skinning bodies, and cannibalism; they even suppressed sex and violence for Sara. Within half an hour she skinned the body and cut it into pieces; she had a big spell that she would be performing in front of an audience in the near future, so she kept what she needed. Most of the flesh she ate, and what she didn’t eat was fed to her cats and goats. She then halfheartedly said a spell, and was off to bed:

“Mother Darkness kill my enemies, drink their blood, and eat their flesh and once all of them are at rest, make sure I won’t see them again, in this life or the next.” She then quickly falls asleep, and the dream she soon enters is just as ghastly as her reality: Sara is pleasantly standing in a field of many different kinds of pretty flowers, with rolling hills and mountains in the distance. The dress she is wearing is blue, and is long and flowing. It is a bright and sunny day, with big fluffy clouds, and the all mighty sun is shining ever so hopeful. On her mind is sex, and deep love for someone; the clouds suddenly completely obscure the sun, turn black, and purge lighting, thunder, and crushing winds. She screams, and thinks of somewhere to run when the earth she stands upon starts to shake and crack, until she falls in as soon as it opens wide enough. Sara then falls for what seems like an especially long time when she finally sees a bright light, all orange red and blinding. She then slams into melting rock that burns her skin, and she screams in agony from the impact of the fall and the temperature of the rock. Then she jumps up still screaming and unable to stand upright, when she sees Jim! Sara desperately screams, when she realizes what a peculiar position he was in: Jim was naked with most his skin burned off, neck completely broken in a noose with a masked executioner standing next to him.

“Show yourself!” Sara then hit the masked executioner with a frying pan and heard the loud cracking of the face of Jim’s killer. They hit the ground as soon as she broke the face of the perpetrator. Her enemy now defeated, was lying motionless on the ground. She slowly bent down to peel off the mask, and look her nemesis in their eyes. She grabs the bottom of the mask and quickly rips it off to reveal her very own broken face!

“Fuck you!!” she yelled, then burst into tears as she falls to the ground that started to fade away and lose its color and matter. Sara remained crying and floating in the dark nothingness, and then cried out:

“Damn you the Father, the Sun, and the Holy Spirit! Fuck you Jesus Christ, Brain, Nazis, non-believers, thieves, and all who are stuck in mind, body, and spirit!! No one has ever protected me, or anyone I have ever loved! All saved I have hated, and was envious of! I’m as green as the leaves on a summer tree! I have cried out to the skies, and I have received nothing in return, and when I talk to the earth, she answers me as well as loves me in return when I did nothing to deserve it. I will run out into the sky and die this night; and mark my words I will drag as many as I possibly can down with me into the depths of hell!” Sara meant every word she said, and next moment she found her herself in a graveyard at night, shaking from the cold autumn night. She found herself in a graveyard, and after looking around she saw the tombstones of herself and Jim.

“I wish I was really dead,” she quietly sighed when she saw Mother Darkness, who appears as the shadow of a tall and thin woman.

“Then follow your heart, and you shall within the day of this tragedy!” Mother Darkness whispered. She silently agreed when a giant pelican swoops her up, and she realizes they are flying above an ocean and just as soon the pelican recklessly fly’s downward:

“Hey stop! What are you doing?!!”

“Just dropping off the trash!” the pelican replied in a cruel tone. The pelican then threw Sara off of itself with a quick move of its giant wing. Sara screamed as she fell into a giant trash can that floated above the ocean. She landed harshly upon a vast amount of smelly garbage, and grunted from the pain of the landing.

“Curse this, Curse god, and all else I forgot to mention.” She laid there in complete agony for what seemed like years, when her Mother, Jim, a Grey extraterrestrial, a Gnome, a Sea Horse, a Metalhead, Satan, and Mother Darkness appeared and were all glowing like the all mighty sun, and spoke in unison:

“We love you Sara, and we always will,” they continued to chant almost in a trance until she finally woke up. Days prior to Sara’s dream, three thugs were on their way to Jim’s house. They were: Rachel, Brian, and Ted and they were blood thirsty; neither of them had any compassion for anyone, and especially not Jim. Completely susceptible to harm, Jim was in bed early and in a reoccurring dream: Jim is in Thailand where he stares down a dusty telescope, not unlike the one that his mother brought him when he was ten years old. She brought him that as a present after his Dad beat him viciously; a consolation of sorts. After he walks away from the telescope, he realizes he’s in a never ending candy store. He soon realizes he’s the only human in the store; everyone else is a robot, or a vampire. He purchases only gummy candy, and then leaves the store to discover that the store is located on Pluto. Frustrated, he rips the laces out of his shoes and looks for a place to hang himself, when he looks up to see whales the sizes of birds flying in the sky. He then picks up both feet instinctively, and then joins the whales in flight. He is flying for what seemed like years, when he realizes that a giant rat is flying towards him; terrified and unable to get away the rat bites him. Jim screams, and then falls fast to Pluto’s surface and yells:

“I hate my friends, but not nearly as much as I hate myself!” Reconsidering his original plan of hanging himself he again looked for a place to do it, when he looked at the sky and saw the whales. Again based on that simple pleasure he decides to live; a series of mirrors then encircles him, and in the mirrors were reflections of the people he used to be. He relived every painful and joyful moment of his life; crying and laughing at it all: the disturbed child he was, to the happy teenager with a tall green Mohawk, to the content accountant, to the decaying person he is now. Those mirrors float away and the mirror that remains tells a story that confuses Jim every night: Sara is confronting Brain about a murder he committed; Brain was a man in his mid-thirties, who is very handsome and well dressed, he was also shallow and vein. Sara is wearing a black trench coat, and Brain is wearing a suit and his black hair is slicked back. When she reveals this he quickly pulls out a gun, Sara reacts just as quickly by cutting off both his arms with a huge sword; he screams and falls to the ground in pain and rolls around and curse. Sara then bends down to whisper something with tears in her eyes. Each night Jim tries to hear her but is unable to; is this a sign Jim thinks to himself, a portrait of the future, or a meaningless dream? The mirror leaves him confused once again and a little girl in a pink dress walks up to him and they exchange smiles. She begins to speak:

“Life is meaningless and full of despair, unless you find your Popsicle: could be someone you’re in love with, friend or family member, any form of art, spirituality and religion; anything you have a passion for or makes you happy and diverts your attention away from the misery and monotony of life and instead shows you the beauty and magnificence of life. It is important to find your Popsicle while you’re young because just like a Popsicle, life is over before you know it and you’re holding a sticky wooden stick. Find your Popsicle soon Jim, time is running out.’’ This confused Jim every night; what did she mean by that? What he did know was that Sara was his Popsicle, and he still had no idea how to tell her. She then handed him several balloons and then disappears, and leaves behind a sticky wooden stick. Once he took hold of the balloons he began to float away. Jim then floats past entire oceans, pastures, mountains, forests and jungles. Finally he lands in an endless sea of sand dunes to see people running away from something but he couldn’t tell what it was. He decides to walk towards what they were running away from; as he walked closer he realized what it was. Three giant figures: Jesus Christ, Satan, and a bald eagle; he didn’t know what this meant but he was terrified. The eagle spotted him; Jim tried to run away but he literally screamed his head off. As his body ran away and his head lay in the sand with the eagle approaching, he cried out:

“Jesus! Why have you forsaken me?!!!”

“I would ask you the same thing Jim, but you’re about to be eaten by an eagle,” Jesus said before laughing. While the Eagle was flying towards Jim, Satan looked him in the eyes:

“Take control of your life,” Jim screamed before the eagle swallowed his head whole. He jumped as he awoke in a cold sweat, and found himself screaming. Suddenly he heard a knock on the door which surprised him since it was pretty late. He quickly put on some clothes, and went to the door to see it was Sara with a heart-shaped box and a bouquet of red roses. Happy and a little confused he opens the door groggy from sleep:

“Hey Sara, come on in.”

“Hi Jim, I’m sorry it’s so late, but I wanted to talk to you about something,” Sara said with a small smile while walking into Jim’s home.

“I wanted to talk you about something as well,” Jim said with nervous joy. They went into the living room and sat on the couch facing each other. She gave Jim the presents, and a large smile grows on his face:

“Thank you Sara, this is so nice of you,” the Heart-shaped box was full of chocolates, and they decided to share them but first Jim went to find a vase to put the roses in. Sara waited to confess how she felt as Jim fumbled around in the kitchen.

“Jim,” Sara said sounding anxious as she looked at his face as he was returning from the kitchen with the roses in a vase, “I’ve been in love with you for years.” There was a pause making her feel like her confession was a mistake.

“I’ve felt the same for as long as I can remember,” Jim tenderly admitted as he set the roses on the coffee table and sat close to Sara. They looked at each other for a moment then slowly moved close to one another and touched lips; a moment both of them longed for, for far too long. For the next hour they held each other and passionately kissed; both of them were crying and laughing at their revelation. They were about to make love, when they heard what sounded like footsteps upstairs as well shattering glass in the basement. Sara then pulled out a shiny large revolver, and Jim pulled out a knife; they split up with Jim running into the kitchen and then into the basement, and Sara running up the stairs. Sara immediately saw two intruders that she personally knew: Rachel and Ted; they were both attractive, and in their late twenties. Rachel is a fast paced greedy pink haired punk rock thug sporting combat boots and a torn blue dress held together with safety pins. And Ted is a slow witted cool bloke wearing sunglasses, a drape jacket, a plaid shirt and black slacks, and creeper shoes with a large brown pompadour.

“Don’t move!!” Sara yells as Rachel and Ted stand there and begin to laugh.

“What are you going to do bitch, put a spell on us?” Rachel sneers. Not even batting an eye Sara shoots Rachel in the throat, and Ted in the stomach.

“What’s the deal asshole?” Sara cruelly said to a suffering Ted as he bled on the floor.

“Nice to see you again Sara,” Ted managed to say with a sarcastic smile in between winces of pain. Sara then proceeded to kick Ted down the stairs and then quickly followed him down the stairs. Pointing her gun at Ted’s temple, she wrapped her finger around the trigger, and smiled at Ted like a tyrant would at their subjects. Ted returned the smile, started to laugh, and then started to cry.

“Sara just do it, fucking do it.”

“I will Ted, if you tell me why you broke in here.”

“Jim fucked Brian over too many times, always late with his money, so we were going to kidnap him, then torture him to death…… and he knew you loved him,” Ted barely managed to cough out those words, when a disgusted and confused Sara shot him in the head ending his misery. The morning of Sara’s ghastly dream, she got up to prepare for a surprise birthday party for her friend Rich; she spent the day setting up decorations and making food for the party. All of her friends were invited, and within the hour almost every guest that was invited had come in time for the expected arrival of Rich. Unfortunately for the guests, Rich forgot he had been invited to Sara’s in the first place because he got drunk alone in his house and passed out. This resulted in them waiting in the dark for over an hour. Sara had started to feel awkward, and felt the need to break the silence:

“I think I’m going to call him!” She pulled out her phone and dialed the number, and Rich picked up after several rings.

“Hello?”

“Rich? Did you forget about tonight? I ordered pizza, and have all of the Full House episodes to watch, are you still coming over?”

“Yeah I am, I’m sorry I totally forgot, I drank whiskey until I passed out about two hours ago, I’ll be over in like fifteen minutes.”

“Oh okay see ya when you get here.” Sara hung up the phone and told her guests that they would only have to wait for another fifteen minutes. Rich arrived in about ten minutes, due to his fast driving. He rang the doorbell, and was curious about all the lights being out; Sara slowly answered the door, lets him in as the lights are immediately turned on and all the guests shout:

“Surprise!!!!!!” as one of the guests fires a rifle. Rich jumps back due to shock, since Sara screamed her surprise directly in his ear.

“Wow thanks everyone,” Rich said sarcastically in a dry voice, who was a little irritated by Sara’s behavior.

“Happy Birthday Rich, come in and join the fun especially for you, eat some food I made, observe the decorations that I have set up, I’m a really great friend,” Sara shouted, acting as if she was playing to an audience.

“Sara the only person I know in this room is you, and it’s not my birthday!” Rich snapped sounding a little angry while adjusting his Cannibal Corpse shirt.

“It’s not?”

“No it’s not for another six months.”

“I’m sorry Rich, I thought it was today,” Sara said sincerely.

“It’s alright, a party is a party.” Everyone there seemed to agree with him, Rich is still drunk and looking for a good time. Sara was being honest when she said she didn’t know it wasn’t his birthday, but honestly Rich’s birthday was just an excuse to throw a party. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about Rich; this was actually Sara’s going away party. She is going to kill herself tonight, and she wanted as many people as possible to follow her down. She also had a spell to perform later tonight:

“Now!” Sara said in an announcer type voice: “There’s plenty of cocaine and LSD in the kitchen if you need some, as well of plenty of alcohol and food,” she said as she put on her Satanic pentagram necklace as she walks into the kitchen. The night before her confession to Jim, Sara was enjoying marshmallow pies and pineapple lollipops in her own reoccurring dream: After finishing her meal in a Candy Café on the ocean floor, she outside and saw a giant Sea Horse and he said:

“Would you like a ride?”

“Yeah sure,” Sara said before she hopped and they swam away. A little while went by and they arrived at a coral cave, and the Sea Horse instructed her to go in. When she entered she realized she was in a bar where all the customers were Greys. She saw these Grey extraterrestrial with large heads and black eyes getting drunk into oblivion. She went up to the bartender and ordered a vodka tonic:

“Coming on up dear,” said the kind eyed Grey extraterrestrial in a warm voice as he went to make her drink. As the bartender handed Sara her drink the being observed that she seemed to be down and decided to ask her what was the matter:

“Is something troubling you?” Sara took her vodka tonic and finished it in one sip, sighed and said:

“I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“Well I have all night.” Sara smiled halfheartedly and agreed to share what was bothering her:

“I’ve been depressed my entire life and it has seemed to only have gotten worse. My parents were fucked up; I was raised by my Mom because my Dad left when I was a baby to fuck other people and to snort coke. I loved my Mom but that doesn’t change how fucked up she was; she was always suicidal and doing drugs. She always moved from shitty job to shitty job; she was just this sad, lonely fucked up person. And no one loved her more than me, no one. One day when I came home from school, I was in 7th grade and I found her hanging in the living room. She finally did it…..didn’t even leave a note, fucking bitch; I was just happy she was finally out of her misery. After that everything got worse for me, I had to live with my Mom’s parents in the middle of fucking nowhere. They were nice but not very understanding, and both alcoholics which didn’t help things. Ever since her death I’ve been doing everything to dull the pain: drinking, smoking, fucking, violence, witchcraft, and every drug I could get my hands on. It never really helps it only adds problems but I can’t live my life sober. At least all of that numbs the pain, and gives me fun and excitement. I’m an addict now it’s time to face up to it; can’t deny it anymore; it has me by the fucking throat, and I’m suffocating. I’ve never been close to anyone; sure I’ve had many friends, lovers too but no one I had a real connection with………...expect for Jim. Jim’s always been there for me, and we’ve known each other ever since high school. He’s just as fucked up as I am, and no one understands me like he does. I always had a thing for him, and always wished he felt something for me. We never really had a chance; I was always with someone or he was with someone, and I was always too fucking sacred to confront him about it…………well thanks for listening, sir.’’

“Anytime dear, have another vodka tonic it’s on me,” said the bartender as he went to serve another customer. Sara drank her second vodka tonic in silence, and thought about her Mother, and other things from her past that she hadn’t thought about in years and refused to. She also thought about Jim, and how much she really did love for him, and wondered if he felt the same. After she finished her drink she got up to go outside for a cigarette, when the bartender got her attention:

“Sara!” Confused that the being knew her name, she quickly turns around:

“Yes?”

“Take control of your life.” This sacred Sara, and not knowing how to react she nodded then turned around to go outside. She smoked her cigarette and returned inside the bar to find nothing but an empty cave. Shocked, she stood there totally speechless; the Sea Horse that accompanied Sara approached her and in a comforting voice said:

“Come on Sara, it’s time to go.”

“Alright that sounds just fine.” They then leave the ocean and go to the coast where almost immediately there is a thick forest of Douglas furs and Cedar trees, and without any words between them they enter. The first clearing of the forest she sees an Old Victorian house:

“Hey Mr. Sea Horse can we stop at that house I have to go pee,” Sara whispered in the sea horse’s ear.

“Of course!” the Sea Horse shouted with a smile. The Sea Horse abruptly stops right at the door step of the house, and she jumps off. And then they both knock as loud as they could on the door; they both continued knocking for several minutes since no one was answering. The door suddenly opens, and the sleepy figure that emerged immediately falls to the floor due to the continuous knocks from Sara and the Sea Horse since they were looking away from the door when it opened. The small elderly male that answered the door is a very wealthy Gnome. You couldn’t tell by looking at him due to his old red hat, blue shirt, green pants, and big black boots. And it didn’t look or smell like he bathed in centuries:

“MaaaMaaMaayIiii help you?” stuttered the little Gnome very loudly, slowly getting up from the floor; Sara and the Sea Horse smiled at the little gnome:

“Hey dude, may I use your bathroom?”

“You woke me from a five hundred year nap for that?!!” he shouted creating an awkward tension between the two parties. After a brief silence the gnome realized that he was being impolite and he regained his composure:

“Sure sure, come in you two have a couple of beers!” They both enter the gnome’s beautiful mansion that had a winding staircase, and a magnificent chandelier that had not one bit of dust on it. The Gnome showed Sara the bathroom on the first floor which she ran to, then returned to the living room where the Sea Horse patiently waited.

“Let’s some get some beer ya Sea Horse!”

“Alright old man!” The Gnome and the Sea Horse went into his fancy kitchen and got three porters, and the Gnome opened them and they then returned to the living room. Sara had just gotten back to the living room and was very relieved. She is handed a beer by the Gnome, and that is when she noticed that he smelled like a combination of booze, cigarettes, and his own filth. Sara and the Sea Horse sat on the same couch and awkwardly stared at the Gnome, as he sat across the room from them in a large red armchair next to a fireplace that had a nice calm fire going.

“Drink up! Drink up! What are you waiting for, friends!” chuckled the Gnome as he threw his head back and took a large sip of beer. Sara and the Sea Horse smiled, eased up a bit and took a sip.

“Do you smoke Mr. Gnome sir?” said Sara as the sea horse handed her a blunt.

“Please call me Mortimer, and yes dear I absolutely do,” Mortimer said with a smile. Sara returned the smile as she lit the blunt, took a large hit, and then passed it to the Sea Horse. Pot and beer continued to be consumed as the three talked until the sun went down. Now the fire in the fireplace was large, and Mortimer looked sad for the first time the whole evening.

“You know I’m glad you two woke me up, this has been a great evening,” he said with a smile as his eyes welled up with tears. Sara and the Sea Horse both smiled, and agreed that it was a great evening.

“What’s the matter Mortimer?” Sara said in a caring voice. Mortimer began to cry into a handkerchief, blew his nose into it, and regained his composure:

“Well……..it’s just you two are the first people I’ve really spoken to since…….my Maratha passed away,” Mortimer managed to say before breaking into a fit of tears. Sara ran over to Mortimer and embraced him, then backed up and lifted his head up to look at hers:

“Hey it’s going to be alright Mortimer, why don’t you tell us about her.” Sara went back to sit on the couch as Mortimer wiped tears out of his eyes:

“Maratha was the most wonderful caring and loving person you could ever care to meet; she could make the sun shine just by her smile,” Mortimer said smiling: “That’s us right there actually,” he said as he pointed to a large photograph above the fireplace of a very young, beautiful, and happy Gnome and a very young, very handsome, and very happy Mortimer: “She caught the Black Death and died very quickly, while I for some reason remained untouched….when that happened I stopped talking to all our friends, her family, my family, everyone! I left the city, and traveled all over the world and beyond! Finally after a year of traveling, I built this huge house right here; I just started to read tons of books, smoke pot, and drink beer all day. Anything I could do not to cry; to not think about my loss; I couldn’t rebuild my life after that, because she was my life! She was the only person I truly gave a shit about, and she was fucking gone forever! I couldn’t look at her beautiful face ever again, I couldn’t talk to her about stupid shit anymore, and I couldn’t laugh with her anymore. We used to laugh and talk for hours on end; I couldn’t make love to my wife anymore! Because I didn’t have a fucking wife anymore! She was dead, and in the ground to turn back into the earth, and there was nothing I could fucking do about it! The only, only only person I ever, ever…..loved,” Mortimer’s loud shouting turned into quiet whispers as he started to sob uncontrollably. Sara went to embrace him when Mortimer looked up still crying and said: “The dream’s over Sara, it’s time to wake up and go to Jim, go to Jim and tell him how much you love him, because you never know when the universe will take him from you, I would give anything to hold Maratha in my arms again, so please Sara, time is running out.” And just like that Sara found herself in her bed again. Days into the future after Sara’s announcement, Rich’s party really kicks off: Most of the party guests file into Sara’s kitchen for their fair share of cocaine, or LSD, or both. Afterwards people head into the living room, kitchen, basement, or the upstairs where Sara’s bedroom and the guest bedroom are. In the living room a DJ had just set up their equipment and started to play; everyone in the room began to dance rapidly, and pop ecstasy like there’s no tomorrow. Right next to the living room is the kitchen, where Rich and his very metal friends that just showed up are drinking rum, whiskey, and vodka directly from the bottle. Down in the basement a couple of very sad clowns are shooting up heroin, and making balloon animals, very very slowly. And in the backyard, Sara is hosting a ceremony which is winding down with a spell. A small group of people in a circle surround Sara, and chant:

“Mother Darkness come to us,” She then throws a smoke bomb on the ground while the people continue to chant. When the smoke clears, Mother Darkness is standing there. The people stop chanting immediately, and give their undivided attention to Sara. Sara’s spell worked, and only Sara could see her: She is a tall and thin woman completely obscured by an thick shadow, who is staring right at her:

“Mother Darkness, find the poor soul whose skin I am, and punish him in every life he lives now, and for all eternity!” The people start to cheer, and laugh as Mother Darkness disappeared and did what Sara asked her to do. And with that the ceremony is closed and they rejoin the party. Sara should be more upset about everything that had occurred in the past couple of days, though that was hard to do since she has just taken a large amount of both LSD and ecstasy. And almost like it was the second act in a play: the sex started. A very well dressed middle aged married couple enters the kitchen, shares a bottle of wine, and then makes loud passionate love on the kitchen table. Rich and fellow Metalheads continue to drink, and try not to pay attention to the two love birds. The rave in the living room rages on, pot and all the other lovely substances continue to be consumed as orgies started to occur. An orgy then starts in the rave, and then in the guest bedroom and then Sara’s bedroom. Pizza and Full House were actually present like Sara promised, though nobody was paying attention to the low volume television with steaming episodes in the corner of the living room next to boxes of cold pizza. All over the house sexual acts are occurring in every form imaginable: oral, anal, vaginal, lesbian, gay, bi, the list goes on and on. Almost every fetish thinkable is being satisfied in at least one room in the house. In the guest bedroom, there is a large orgy. After the sad clowns left the basement to go home and to bed, the only one left in the basement was an elderly man in a pink bunny suit bawling his eyes out. And also like a play the middle aged married couple exit the kitchen and then more people enter: They are four big beautiful women, and they then take off all their clothes. They sit down at the table, when eight muscular men enter and then take their clothes off. The naked women and men, along with the Rich and the metal heads have an orgy. Then Leather/Bondage play starts on the stairs to the second floor from the living room, Dominance and submission in the guest bedroom. Sara joined every single orgy, it as her party after all. After a few hours of this people are now extremely tired, tripping balls somewhere or even dead. Sara and Rich are now sitting alone in her bedroom while Sara packs a syringe with both cocaine and heroin. Rich still unbelievably drunk, barely able to move or speak let alone think is desperately trying to tell Sara that maybe taking a speedball wasn’t such a good idea. But what Rich doesn’t know is that Sara isn’t trying to “have a good time”, she is ending her life. She packed lethal doses of both substances in the syringe, struck the needle in her arm and released them into her veins. A big smile forms on Sara’s face as she enters euphoria, and leaves her despair behind; she knew she would die and that fact added to her extreme high. Incredibly at peace for the first time in days, she thinks her final thoughts: ‘In a little bit I’ll be away from this place, from my house, my addiction, my crimes, my abortion, my LIFE in general, everything. I won’t have to get up anymore to go to work, won’t have to do taxes anymore, clean the house, wash the dishes, sit in gridlock traffic, that’s all behind me now………I’ll join you soon my love.’ And pretty soon Sara had died peacefully, and for the first time in her hard life she had truly found peace. Days before Sara’s death, Sara very much alive stands in Jim’s living room confused, terrified and enraged. Having just killed Ted after he delivered his shocking message, Sara was at a loss for words and trying to process the information she had just been given. And just like that she was struck with a relation: ‘WHERE is Jim?’

“Fuck!” she runs into the kitchen, and then into the basement; Seeing broken glass, and no one there she began to panic: ‘What if Brian took Jim, and he’s already torturing him?’ Sara’s thoughts were screaming in her head: ‘Brian is a pity jealous asshole who doesn’t know when it’s fucking over, he obviously takes killing lightly and he won’t hesitate with someone like Jim who he already hated, if anything happens to Jim I’ll fucking kill myself!’ Sara then ran outside to see the tires of her car slashed!

“Fuck!” Sara quickly looks around and runs to the car Rachel and Ted came in. She breaks the window, hops inside and begins to hot wire it. Once she successfully hotwired the car, she raced to the one spot where she knew Brian would take him. It was a place that was isolated from any potential witnesses, a place where killing happened in abundance. Well out of the city on the outskirts of a small town was a large house where Brain had brought a tranquilized, tied and gagged Jim into an dark damp basement. He didn’t like leaving without Rachel and Ted but they served as a good distraction for Sara who they didn’t anticipate on being there. That night when Rachel and Ted broke into the first floor, Brain broke into his basement for a surprise attack. He did not anticipate breaking glass mugs while he was there, though he recovered by quietly getting to the door up the stairs. Jim entered and he injected him with tranquilizer, while he put his hand over his mouth so he could not scream. Brain usually has at least two of his goons with him at all times, after all he has many enemies and paranoia has always haunted him. But the prize of tranquilizing and kidnapping Jim from his own home was too sweet to pass up. After tranquilizing him, he ties and gags him, then quietly carries him out of the basement though the window. Brain lifts Jim up and runs over to his car that was close by and puts him in the trunk and drives away. He is ecstatic while he drives to his ‘secret house’ in the middle of the country; waiting for him at the house tonight was Paul and David, both gruff looking men in their early forties. David was is black and is wearing a nice blazer with matching pants and snap cap. Paul is white and has short blue hair, and he is wearing ripped up blue jeans, black leather jacket, The Exploited shirt, and black combat boots. Brain liked having those two around because they never minded “getting rid of” anyone that Brain wanted to dispose of. They didn’t ask any questions, Brain liked that, and they didn’t expect much, just a modest amount of cash or some meth. After throwing him on the hard cement floor, they kicked him in the chest and stomach a few times to wake him up. Jim awoke in a place he had never been to before to see Brain who hated him, and two of his scary goons:

“O fuck!” he yelled which is muffled by the gag in his mouth. He wiggled around as the men laughed at him.

“We got ya now wanker!” Paul snarled. They untied him, and toke the gag out of his mouth while David shoved a revolver in his temple. Paul stared at Jim snapping his suspenders before itching his crotch; he was still groggy from the tranquilizer, and started to feel massive amounts of pain in his stomach and chest. Brain pulls up a chair as Paul slams him down on it and holds him there, while David grabs heavy chains from a chest against the wall. Paul and David then tie him with around his chest and legs as Jim stares at these men with hate as it all he could do, while as they were tying him Brain goes into the same chest to grab a bottle of vodka. He opens it then takes a shot; once they are finished Brain violently runs at Jim and sticks the open bottle of vodka down his throat. Jim starts to squirm intensely as Brain forces him to drink most of the bottle, before he starts coughing and crying getting a lot of it on his face and clothes; Jim is terrified, and knows he will die tonight.

“Shut up poof!” Paul yells as he punches Jim in the face.

“You’re in big trouble mate, seems to be that you’ve been sniffing around the wrong bitch,” David said as he started to laugh, and Jim gave him another hateful look.

“And you’re just a fucking piece of shit altogether,” added Brain as he lit his cigarette. He took a quick drag then violently jumped forward and pressed the lit cigarette against Jim’s forehead, as he squirmed about in the chair barely able to move.“That’s for taking my woman, you little poof!” Brian shouted as he put all his energy into leaning against Jim, as Jim screamed beneath the gag tried to kick Brain but was unsuccessful due to the heavy amount of chains around his legs. Not only was Jim in large amounts of pain, but he was already starting to feel a little drunk, only adding to his misery; he is now ready for anything.

“Wait ‘till we really torture you poof, that’s when we’ll really start playing with ya!” David sneered as he downed a bottle of beer.

“Doesn’t mean we can’t have fun now,” Brain said as he starts to urinate all over Jim, who was now unwilling to move and seemingly not fazed by this. David, still very impressed with childish behavior joined in:

“How do you like golden showers mate? You’re probably getting a boner you sick fuck!” David yelled as Paul calmly sips on a bottle of whiskey, quietly enjoying Jim’s pain in front of him next to a sexually excited David.

“Hey want some whiskey, poof?” Paul piped in. “Oh wait your mouth is full…..what about this way!” he then yelled as he smashed the bottle of whiskey on the top of Jim’s head. Glass shattered as Jim clothes and hair became soaked in whiskey and blood, with his body becoming instantly limp in the chair.

“Goddamn it Paul! Why did you do that?!” Brain demanded.

“What?!” said Paul in his defense much like a confused child would.

“Well for starters we wanted him to last for several hours to get as much fucking torture as he could handle, and I don’t think we can do that if he fucking dies from a head injury!” Brain shouted looking irritated. Paul and David looked like children who had just been scolded by Daddy. “One of you take off your shirt and clot his bleeding….Hurry! Now!” he then said as David quickly took his blazer which took his hat off, and then pressed his blazer closely to Jim’s wound.

“That should be good David, just leave it there,” Brain said in a much calmer tone then he had been using all night as he lit another cigarette. “Alright mate, as lover boy takes a little nap, let’s set up his treat,” Brain said with a grin on his face. Sara’s mind was racing as she sped down the empty country road at 90 mph: ‘He could be dead right now Goddamn it! Even if he is, I’m still fucking killing Brain and whoever else is fucking there those fucking bastards! They will fucking regret taking the only person that means anything to me.’ Sara thought as she pushed her foot harder on the gas, as she rocketed down the road. Through her mind and heart were in peril, she couldn’t help but feel calm because her love was already confessed and it was mutual. That’s all she wanted, all that anxiety, wondering if he felt the same way, that weighed on her mind and heart for years and years had finally been lifted. The feeling of absolute ecstasy that he indeed did love her hadn’t left her heart. She could see the house now, on top of the hill that she was charging up; almost fucking there she thought. Within seconds she began to slow the vehicle to a complete halt on the front lawn of Brain’s ‘secret’ house. ‘This is your fucking end Brain,’ Sara thought as she concealed a huge sword underneath her black trench coat; she then kicks down the front door to find the boys snorting meth. A couple of minutes before Sara’s arrival Jim awakens to immense pain throughout his entire body; he couldn’t even articulate what pains were coming from where. He feels the cool air on his skin, he is drunk, dizzy, and has yet to register what has happened. He’s also feeling warm blood dripping down his face and something tight on his head and the chains and gag are gone. He knows he is outside as he can see he is in a field behind Brain’s house. Too drunk to be alarmed he suddenly realizes he’s completely naked, and standing upright…..but he’s not touching the ground. Very confused and very afraid he tries to move, but then huge amounts of pain go up his limbs that force him to look down to see what they have done to him………... he is nailed to a wooden cross!

“Aahhhh!” Jim grunted as he clenched his teeth. He wanted to thrash around but couldn’t due to his hands and feet being nailed down. Then he realized that they placed a “crown of thorns” of some sort on his head; as he could feel little sharp needles going into his head. Jim could also feel a stinging pain from the top of his head where Paul bludgeoned him. Feeling the grim despair of the situation Jim begins to weep, and then blacks out. Brain, Paul and Tom all geeked out on meth jump into fighting positions and are eager to kill. Almost immediately Sara throws her bullet less gun directly into Paul’s forehead, killing him instantly. David leaps towards her, but Sara spin kicks him in the neck, collapsing his throat.

“What did you do to Jim?” Sara said firmly staring into Brain’s dilated pupils. Brain is visibly scared that his bodyguards are now lying dead on the ground; he quickly pulls out a gun from the pocket of his nice slacks. Before he could even think to fire Sara pulls the sword out from her coat and horizontally chops Brain’s arms off at the elbow. He falls to the ground screaming in pain very much in shock. Sara coldly observed Brain rolling around and cursing on the floor, bleeding from what was left of his arms. She began to tear up, and then bends down right above Brain’s face to whisper:

“I loved him do you understand? What have you done?”

“Heeeeee’sssss inn the backyardddd” Brain hissed. Without changing expression Sara with full force stomped one foot into Brain’s face killing him. Sara then rushed out to the backyard to see what they have done to her lover.

“Aahhh!!” Sara yelled and ran to him and saw that he wasn’t conscious. She pulled out the nails and took him down from the cross to set him on the ground. “Jim! Jim! Come on don’t be dead goddamn it!” Sara yelled again as he started to come to; Jim started to breathe heavy and then tenderly smiled up at her. Sara’s eyes glistened with tears, and she then picked Jim up to embrace him; she then carefully lifted the crown of thorns from his head as he trembled from pain.

“Jim this is my fault I let you get caught in the middle of this, Brain always hated me for aborting his baby.”

“This isn’t your fault at all Sara, Brain always hated me and the thought of us together set him off.”

“You can’t die Jim, you can’t fucking die goddamnit,” Sara said trying not to break down in tears. They both started to cry; and they held each other for the last time.

“Goodbye my love, I’ll see you on the other side.”

“Goodbye Jim,” Sara whispers before she pressed her lips against his, and felt the life leave his body. Then she burnt the house down with Paul and David’s bodies inside to get rid of all evidence, as well as scare away any of his followers that might go there looking for him. She also burnt Jim’s body, and kept the ashes in an little jewelry case on her bed stand. But as for Brain’s body she decides to take it home with her for further punishment, in death as she did in life. The next day she already made up her mind; it was now as her now broken heart: hardened to stone. She knew what she was going to do, and that was that; and the next couple of days went completely as fate intended. And seconds before Sara died high as a kite, and happy, she remembered what Jim had once said to her years and years ago: Jim was standing there in Sara’s backyard, they were burning Bibles and American flags together in a fire pit; and they discussed politics, religion, space, life and death. She was standing there in a ripped up black shirt, black skirt and red fish stockings, with long red hair and a large upside down crucifix that adorned her neck. Jim was standing two feet away with his head and face shaved except for his red tall Mohawk and leather jacket and ripped up jeans.

“You know Sara, Zombies and Aliens shall rule this Earth one day. But Christians and Parents shall never believe the truth! For they like flies trapped in a spider’s web shall not move an inch from that location! Damned to their doomed fate!” He then began to laugh as Sara joined; they were already in love, and too nervous to admit it. Though they did give hints at each other: Sara turned the music from loud punk, to old soul and rock ‘n roll. That night they slow danced under the moonlight to the ballads in 6/8 timing that played softly on Sara’s boom box. After dancing they cuddled and held hands, and then kissed. They both remembered that night as long as they could remember, but they never brought it up. They were pretty drunk, and didn’t think the other one would remember and didn’t want to embarrass themselves. They both regretted that fact silently and alone: The alarm goes off at 9:00 a.m. and Rich slowly gets up out of bed and gets dressed for work; he is very disoriented and confused about the dream he just had. He was a young Metalhead again, ‘Boy those were the days, I had plenty of friends, booze, drugs, sex, hair, and metal……all that’s gone now I’m a just another boring, sober, balding, middle class family man,’ Rich thinks as he looks at the person he used to love, who is still fast asleep in a peaceful dream. ‘And she is just as much as a sellout as I am, she doesn’t love me anymore, hasn’t for years, and the kids probably don’t either,’ Rich thought as he got into his car; he then drives down the road. Still puzzled about that dream he had, he couldn’t remember who any of those people were, or if he simply made them up: ‘Like Sara and Jim who the hell were they anyway?’ He was going through all his old friends in his head, and he couldn’t remember a Sara or a Jim: ‘Oh well,’ he thought, ‘Dreams are full of people and things that don’t have any real relevance.’ Rich continues to ponder if that story was true: ‘Did Sara really join Jim in the afterlife?’ He then smirks to himself: ‘Even if an afterlife does exist, it’s hard enough keeping love alive in this life let alone continuing it into the next one.’ Rich soon started to think about the diner plans that Clare and he had for that evening, and just like that Sara and Jim faded away like pictures in a fire.

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badly-drawn-kuroko · 4 years

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its important to me that you all know i got an in game miku body pillow out of this interaction i havent figured out how to utilize it in game play but i HAVE IT

#kate plays dnd #Takao Kazunari #our dms actually sent me an image for the pillow too #i also got into a fight with the golf and boat clubs #with nijimura on my side #we now have matching boat shirts #they say i like big boats and i cannot lie

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messedupessy · 6 years

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BECAUSE HE LIKE THEM BIG BOATS AND HE CANNOT LIE (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I have been wanting to draw Boney as Isabela from Dragon Age 2 for like so long, as they got a couple of things in common and also like fashion choices a bit, and also because Boney is a tiny bit inspired by her, accidentally tho but still inspired pfft xD Boney is actually inspired by like 4 other characters now when I think about it, a little bit here and there but like not allot tho. anyway got this idea like weeks ago in the middle of the night just going yes holy shit yes this needs to happen, especially since it’s soon Halloween and he would totally dress himself up as her for it because yes, and today I finally did it!

I actually planned and even started drawing this idea digitally like some days ago I think, but then decided to do it traditionally as it would be easier and go so much faster, as if I did this digitally it would take weeks while this sketch just took me like all day instead, and I am pretty happy with it, his hands are a bit of a mess, some details here and there are too, but his face turned out pretty sweet, the shirt dress looks good and the armour gauntlet thingies and jewellery do too, and decided to just colour various parts as I haven’t done so for awhile so it was fun, but overall I like how this turned out :D

#undertale #seaswap #seaswap papyrus #MessedUpEssy #papyrus #underswap #Essy's Art #Essy's Undertale Art #sketch #sketchy sketch is sketchy ye #I actually forgot to add a speech bubble with him saying i like big boats i cannot lie #because Isabela says it in the game and it was all i could think of him saying #because yes #damn this was so nice to do tho #haven't worked on anything else today nothing that i actually need to work on #and it has been nice #yes #but tomorrow i am going to work on some of the asks #because they need to get done #and since i am guarding one of my dogs tomorrow as my mom is gonna go to the vet with the other one #i have nothing else to do as i need to keep my dog company aye #Boney is too beautiful tho like look at him #i love him so much #now time to get some food real soon and then like sketch some more or something ye boi

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gothhabiba · 3 years

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hey, no worries if ur not up for answering this for any reason. but i wondered if you might talk a bit how ur in some way coping with being bedbound? i am currently struggling a lot and i can be out of my bed for a bit but im in a lot of pain and rly fatigued so not for long/not consistently. i also wondered specifically [idk if u experience this so obvs if u dont thats cool] about if u get pain ~from being bedbound? bc i do in some ways so it's like a constant catch 22 or whatever lol but i just thought id ask whether you have any tips/advice/things u do in order to combat that if u also have that experinece? hope this makes sense am fatigued a l o t !! sending u solidarity ! <3

I don't know exactly what your situation is, but I've had to come to terms over the last year or so with the prospect that I may be in this situation for the rest of my life. Treatments that usually work on people with my condition haven't helped me, and there's no cure. Life goes on. The lives of disabled people are often hidden from the public eye due to the inaccessibility of public spaces & narratives that centre the abled and the convalescent--but there's creativity in bed. There's still joy and social connexion and good books and good food and learning new things in bed (yeah yeah, ha ha). People frequently connect humanity, life being worth living, &c. to activity and to mobility, and it's useful to be able to articulate to yourself that that's bullshit

I try to differentiate between sleeping and waking hours as much as I can. If you have a couch or other piece of furniture that you can make it to and lie down on so that you're not in bed all the time, I'd recommend doing so. I also open the curtains during the day and close them at night, and switch out the pillowcase on my pillow (I only have one that's the right height so I'm using it all the time) just before I go to sleep. I sleep in a different position than I spend waking hours in. Things like that

I know this is easier said than done, but I try to keep a regular sleeping schedule. I find that things like fatigue, nightmares, insomnia, and sleep paralysis are worse if I don't. Any schedule you make should have enough hours of sleep nightly built in (don't try to say it will be eight, it very well may be 10-12) as well as any naps you may find yourself needing.

After spending a few months supine more or less constantly, I did start to notice some lower back pain and inflexibility in my spine that I hadn't experienced before. I try to spend a couple hours per day actually lying down on the floor rather on a soft surface, which mitigates a lot of this.

If it's a possibility for you, look up a few youtube videos for floor yoga and try to do a few of the stretches whenever you feel up for it. I rotate between boat pose, universal spinal twist, corpse, cobra, butterfly, child's pose, happy baby pose, bridge, sometimes cat/cow, anything else I can do without too much weightbearing. Which poses you feel comfortable doing will of course depend on the location of your pain and what worsens it. But especially when you're lying down all the time, it's important to do what you can to stretch your spine and shoulders and keep your core from weakening.

I'm not sure if you can sit up at all or prop yourself up on pillows--I cannot, so it really helped me to get a laptop stand, and a laptop that was built such that the keyboard is at the right spot under my hands with my shoulders and wrists relaxed. A separate keyboard that connects to your laptop via USB or whatever may be helpful if your laptop isn't the right size to allow for that.

Relatedly, it is always worth it try to rig something up to make tasks more comfortable. It doesn't matter if it "should" be easy (for whom? according to whom?). Prop things up at the right angles, rubberband or pin things into the right position (e.g. to keep the pages of books open while they're resting on a stand), &c. This makes a big difference, especially with things that you tend to spend a lot of time doing.

If there's anything that you used to love to do that you can't do anymore, find something else. I can't play an instrument anymore. I used to play viola, guitar, and ukulele, I had just started on mandolin, I had concrete goals on all these instruments, I wanted to learn piano. It sucks a lot. But I've started learning more music theory and music history, transcribing and analysing music, composing, ear training to be able to read music with my voice. Life goes on.

Talk to people! If you're comfortable with it, get visitors. It may seem difficult to meet people when you can't leave your bed or your home--when becoming disabled you learn that a lot of your old friends are no longer interested in being your friend if you can't keep up doing x y and z--but there are maybe people in your city who will come over if you explain your situation. I have a new friend who helps with housework and brings me food and is content to sit in my living room with me whom I met online... it IS possible

Otherwise, talk to anyone else you know. Voice call or video call. Join a discord or a subreddit for people in a similar situation as you, or a community for an unrelated interest you have. Disability of any kind (or rather, how people treat you when you're disabled) is isolating. It's worth trying to counteract that.

Start a project that you care about. Start two. Finish both or neither of them. It matters to keep doing and learning things that you care about, at whatever pace you can.

Some days are easier than others. You're not betraying yourself by feeling upset or discouraged. You're not betraying yourself by not being upset, either.

Orgasms can improve mood, relieve pain, take up time when you don’t have the energy to do much, &c. It’s worth looking into whatever kind of motorised sex toy would be useful for you if sex in general is something that you have interest in.

Understand that nothing about the concepts of "progress" or "convalescence" or "healing" or "stagnating" work for you anymore. Not even to the limited extent to which they work for the able-bodied. Even (and especially) medical fields still try to fit our bodies and minds into these frameworks that don't fit. There doesn't need to be directionality. There's just time, and enjoying it. (The disabled and chronically ill tend to understand this intuitively. Try to get more friends of this sort.)

Check out @energysavingselfcare

#disability #spoonie #bedbound #bedridden #questions #long post /

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grewlikefancyflowers · 3 years

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JC’s deeply rooted resentment of WWX, JFM’s parenting, and the inevitability of the falling out of the ‘Yunmeng bros’.

In discussion of the breakdown of JC and WWX’s relationship, their falling out is often regarded as a mutual failing on both sides to properly communicate and maintain their relationship. I’m making the case here that their falling out was a foregone conclusion from the start, and in no part due to the actions of Wei Wuxian.

This is because YZY has instilled in JC the idea that JFM dislikes him, something he believes before WWX arrives in Lotus Pier, JC already feels inferior, thus as soon as potential competition for JFM’s attention comes along in the form of WWX, JC resents him, believes JFM prefers him, and looks for reasons to justify this.

Summarising their very first interactions - from chapter 71 - WWX arrives at LP, sees JC with his puppies and is so terrified that he refuses to come down from JFM’s arms the entire day. The second day, JFM gives JC’s puppies away.

Now, I would like to think that no one seriously believes that this is an act of favouritism, but I have seen this case being made so I just want to make clear that WWX is obviously traumatised by his previous interactions with dogs. After trying for a whole day to comfort WWX, with no success, JFM does not exactly have any other choice than to give the puppies away, WWX cannot be expected to live in constant terror in the place that is supposed to be his home.

Consequently, ‘This angered Jiang Cheng so much that he threw a big tantrum. No matter how much Jiang FengMian comforted him gently, telling him that they should ‘be good friends’, he refused to talk to Wei WuXian.’

JC’s reaction is fairly understandable for an 8 year old. JFM comforts JC, and does not treat him callously or dismiss him, however it takes several days until JC will even talk to WWX.

When JC does start to warm up to him, JFM thinks it’d be a good idea for them to have a sleepover, JC is on the ‘verge of agreeing’ to this, which JFM is overjoyed by - so much so that he picks WWX up.

This is not an example of favouritism, JFM doesn't repeatedly give affection to WWX and not JC, he holds him twice - the first instance being purely because WWX was too terrified to leave his arms, the second being this one. These are the only two times where JFM is described as being affectionate towards WWX, JC is still in the lead on this count. But JC interprets this as JFM preferring WWX.

This results in the JC shutting WWX out at night.

At that time, Wei WuXian didn’t know what Jiang Cheng was mad about at all. After a pause, he replied, “I didn’t steal anything. It’s Uncle Jiang who told me to sleep with you.”

Hearing that he was still bringing up his father, almost as if he was purposely showing off, Jiang Cheng’s eyes reddened as he yelled, “Go away! If I see you again, I’ll call a bunch of dogs to bite you!”

This is the important part - JC sees WWX in the worst possible light, and rarely thinks of WWX as a person outside of how he directly impacts JC - he concludes that WWX is purposefully antagonising him, this is a trend that continues well into adulthood.

Then, when WWX flees LP after JC threatens him with dogs, JYL tells JC to find people to help search for him. However,

‘If any other disciple or servant learned about this and told Jiang FengMian, after Jiang FengMian knew how he threw Wei WuXian’s sheets out and made him hurt his leg, Jiang FengMian would definitely dislike him even more. This was also why he only dared chase after them alone and didn’t get anyone else.’

JC has obviously behaved wrongly here, and JFM would be right to scold him for it, but JC interprets this as JFM disliking him. We haven’t seen anything to suggest that JFM actually dislikes JC, he always treats him quite gently, actually. But JC is already at the conclusion that JFM dislikes him, and twists events to suit this - if his dad scolds him for misbehaving, it’s because he dislikes him. This pattern repeats after the Xuanwu Cave arc too.

This is because Madam Yu has ingrained into him the idea that JFM dislikes him, because he’s her son. This has nothing to do with WWX - because both her and JC already believe that JFM dislikes JC prior to WWX’s arrival - she only sees him as additional fuel to use.

The only other person who mentions JFM supposedly treating WWX better than JC is JZX. I’m sure it's a coincidence that he’s the son of YZY’s best friend.

‘“Doesn’t he treat you better than treating his own child or something?”’

Note the ‘or something’, - JZX doesn’t seem to know this with certainty - he’s repeating what others have said, despite having visited Lotus Pier several times (as stated in ch.69), JZX hasn’t seen evidence for himself that JFM prefers WWX.

‘“Maybe I should’ve let you hit him, while I stand aside and watch. This way, Uncle Jiang might not need to come. Oh well, I really couldn’t hold back!”’

We know that WWX doesn’t see JFM as favouring him - so what does he mean by this? Well, LQR has had it out for WWX from the moment they met, and has already sent a letter to JFM complaining of his behaviour - at this point WWX doesn’t know that this results in them breaking the JZX/JYL engagement either, so he’s probably purely thinking that LQR summoned JFM to CR to discuss WWX’s repeated offenses. JC hasn’t done anything to invoke LQR’s ire (or rather, he’s gotten away with everything he has done), so WWX thinks that if JC fought JZX, it would not have been treated so seriously, compared to WWX, who has repeatedly misbehaved.

Contrary to fanon interpretation, WWX is not oblivious to other people’s feelings, he’s very empathetic, and additionally understands JC very well. He doesn’t see how JC is feeling here, because JC’s feelings are just so illogical...

‘Although it was only Wei WuXian’s casual words, he held mixed feelings, because he knew that this wasn’t a lie.

Jiang FengMian had never hurried to another sect in one day for anything related to him, no matter if the issue was good or bad, large or small.

Never.’

Once again, JC’s at the conclusion that JFM dislikes him, he twists events to support this. He’s looking at this scenario very strangely - JFM didn’t rush to CR because he likes WWX, he was called there by LQR, to discuss JYL’s engagement with JZX. Secondly, we’re never given any examples of scenarios where JC does anything to warrant JFM rushing over. As far as we know, they never even stay with other sects. Knowing JC’s personality, his dislike of doing anything to rock the boat, it’s extremely unlikely that he’s ever done anything to warrant JFM rushing over like this. Moreover, it’s a bizarre thing to be jealous of, WWX is in trouble, he’s not on the receiving end of positive attention from JFM.

JC’s flawed reasoning is once again illustrated after the Xuanwu Cave arc...

‘Jiang Cheng’s expression was complicated after he had finished listening.’

This is Jiang Cheng’s reaction after WWX credits LWJ with killing the tortoise of slaughter - this is before JFM congratulates him. Before JFM says anything, JC is purely resentful about WWX having done something heroic, more so, resentful that WWX is willingly to let LWJ take most of the credit - he’s annoyed about this, most likely feeling that WWX is rubbing in his face that he doesn’t need the recognition that JC so desperately craves.

‘Jiang FengMian nodded and said, “You did well.”

Killing a giant 400-year-old beast at only 17 was way beyond what one would call ‘doing well.’’

JFM knows about JC’s… issues, he knows how he’ll react to WWX’s receiving recognition, he likely purposefully downplays his praise to avoid upsetting him. (Who’s really being favouritised? Lol)

But, even to this, JC reacts badly, he lashes out at WWX, once more interpreting him in the worst possible way.

‘Jiang Cheng hissed, “Too fucking bad, then. You shouldn’t have been so damn stubborn and you shouldn’t have cared so damn much about such a trivial thing. If you’d never moved in the first place –”’

JC’s response is to basically tell him the entire incident was his fault. Which is objectively not true - WWX only gets involved in the conflict after it has already started, and then he acts deliberately to try to end it, rather than impulsively fighting. He also starts to say that WWX should have left their allies - LWJ and JZX - to die. This is where JFM cuts him off, and tells him it’s not appropriate to say such things - he’s not scolding him harshly, JC is not being unfairly treated here, he’s done wrong, and JFM is trying to teach him why, you know, parenting. But JC, and YZY, take this to mean JFM dislikes JC.

JFM tries to teach JC about the Jiang sect’s motto once more - this is of course, not just about the motto, but about the values that JFM wants to instill in him, as a parent.

This is where Madam Yu arrives.

“Yes, he doesn’t understand, but what does it matter, as long as Wei Ying understands?!”

Of course, what she says is nonsensical, it does matter to JFM that JC understands the motto, that’s why he’s trying to teach him. If he did not care, he would have given in already.

This is further supported...

‘Jiang Cheng’s appearance and temperament all resembled his mother’s. Jiang FengMian guided him from childhood, but no matter how much he tried, he still couldn’t change his son’s nature. As such, it always seemed like he disliked his son.’

JFM has never been dismissive of JC just because he’s YZY’s son, he’s always tried to teach him, but JC always had his mother’s nature - YZY’s nature being harsh, standoffish, foul tempered, with no care for others - Note that is says it ‘seems’ like he dislikes his son, solely because he’s trying to teach him to be a better person. He has good reason for doing so - as a kid, JC never had friends, he doesn’t seem to as an adult either, he only has Jin Ling, whom he pushes away with his foul temper. JFM was just trying to raise JC to being an even-tempered person, capable of functioning in society, which is kind of what parents are supposed to do. But once more, this is taken as dislike.

Note that during JC’s outburst, every single thing JC claims about what JFM thinks of him, he’s parroting what YZY has said, none of these points have any actual evidence.

The next point to consider is how JC blames WWX for the fall of LP, despite it objectively not being his fault - JC knows this too.

‘In his heart, Jiang Cheng knew clearly that back in the cave of the Xuanwu of Slaughter at Dusk-Creek Mountain, even if Wei WuXian hadn’t saved Lan WangJi, the Wen Sect would have found some reason to come over sooner or later’

Even if WWX’s actions did prompt the Wens to act sooner than they otherwise might have - coming sooner or later would have made no difference at all because YZY outright stated she had no intention of preparing for an attack, even after WWX suggests they should, and JFM was still going to the Wens asking for their swords back - they were still uselessly trying to suck up to the Wens, thinking it would save them.

Despite knowing deep down that WWX was not to blame - he still uses it to fuel his resentment of WWX, because the resentment was there from the beginning, the only uncertainty is the means he uses to justify it.

During the ancestral hall confrontation - he uses this excuse again.

‘Jiang Cheng responded contemptuously, “You really are forgetful. What’s called a shameful person? Let me remind you. Just because you decided to be a hero and save this Second Young Master Lan, the entire Lotus Pier including my father and mother was buried. If this wasn’t enough, after the first time, you still want a second time, even wanting to save Wen-dogs and implicating my sister and her husband, how noble of you. Even nobler, you are so magnanimous to bring these two to Lotus Pier. Allowing the Wen-dog to stand at the front of my gates and letting Second Young Master Lan offer joss sticks, purely trying to antagonize me.’

Obviously, WWX did none of these things to antagonise JC, in fact he was going through a complex emotional journey of realising that he has feelings for LWJ, and that LWJ probably has feelings for him too, he doesn’t go to the ancestral shrine to mess around - he’s ‘introducing’ LWJ to JFM, YZY, and JYL, because he’s thinking about marrying him.

The problem is, JC never really sees WWX as a person, WWX has always been more of a concept - someone to compare himself to, the reason his father doesn’t like him, the reason his mother uses to berate him. It doesn’t occur to JC that WWX is a person outside of what he is to JC, and he is therefore incapable of empathising with what WWX might be feeling right now, instead the only possible conclusion is that he’s antagonising JC.

He follows the same line of thinking when WWX defects with the Wens. JC knows what he and WWX owe them, in fact JC owes them, far, far more than what WWX does - it was his parents whose bodies Wen Ning retrieved, and it was him who WN had to rescue from LP. But JC thinks, he can get away with not paying this debt, so why should he? JC is selfish, he doesn’t understand why WWX would want to help others when he doesn’t have to, so JC concludes, this is WWX showing off, ‘playing the hero’.

Because from the moment they met, JC has never tried to know WWX for who he is, whatever WWX does, JC interprets in a negative light - when WWX tries to get LWJ’s attention, (despite it being painstakingly obvious that WWX has a crush on him) JC concludes that WWX is messing around foolishly, without reason (parroting the untrue things YZY says about WWX always seeking trouble). When WWX wants to help people, he’s playing the hero, one upping JC. JC only ever thinks of WWX in relation to himself - when WWX disappears for three months, JC’s immediate complaint is that WWX kept him waiting, that he’s put JC out by making him search for him. You could argue that JC was just worried about WWX, and not able to express it - and on some level that’s true. But there’s a very intentional contrast between how LWJ and JC react to WWX’s return - LWJ is worried about WWX, about how his cultivation method is affecting him, moreover, WWX is very clearly not himself. JC, however, does not care for that - he only sees WWX, and modao, as a tool for killing Wens.

It takes almost nothing for JGS to manipulate JC into turning against WWX in ch.73 - he readily believes every negative thing JGS says about WWX, despite being called out directly for lying by LWJ. JGS talks as if he is a servant who has forgotten his place, unlike JYL, JC does not defend him. He refuses to speak up for him - he claims that no one will - yet LWJ and MianMian did. JC didn’t turn on WWX because it was impossible for him to speak up - he was living proof that WQ and WN did not support the Wen sect in the war, he drops him the moment he can because he’s resented him from the beginning.

Another interesting tidbit about JC just fundamentally not understanding who WWX is as a person, is that he only blames LWJ for the Xuanwu Cave incident - not JZX, despite him behaving no differently to how LWJ does. This is probably because he realises WWX’s fixation on LWJ, and supposes that this is the reason that WWX got involved in the conflict. But of course, WWX would have done something whether it was solely JZX, or just a random person.

Taking all this into account, it seems almost inevitable that WWX and JC would fall out eventually, because JC was, from the start, looking for reasons to dislike WWX, he turns against him at the first opportunity he got. For the ‘Yunmeng bros’ to have a healthy relationship, JC would simply have to fix his entire personality.

JC is unable to see WWX as a person, right up until the very end of the novel - when he recalls how he impulsively put himself at risk in order to save WWX. Finally, for the first time, JC is able to understand why WWX stood up for others in Xuanwu Cave, why he helped the Wens, because JC did the same thing, put himself on the line for WWX, probably the only time JC has ever acted so selflessly. And this is why he lets him go, he lets go of the things he blamed WWX for. For the first time, he is able to empathise with WWX, he understands that WWX was never ‘playing the hero’, seeking praise or recognition, he understands that WWX helps people purely because he feels in the moment that it’s the right thing to do. This is what enables him to finally let go of WWX.

I’m always a bit baffled when people claim mxtx never gave JC a happy ending, because this is his happy ending - him being able to realise that WWX never wronged him - when he finally lets go of this, he can live freely.

#mdzs #jc wank #mdzs meta #jiang cheng

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villainsandvictimsalliance · 3 years

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shigadabi fluff pls? :D love your blog

Yes anon, it's Shigadabi time because my brain is toasted for doing stuff for college and these are always the best times to let the ideas flow.

And I sent this without writing anything. What a mess. So guess I'll have to go editing this. Let's ignore that guys. That was a midnight failure.

So here it goes:

They are actually really adorable once they finally admit they have a thing for the other. Which takes a bunch of time because maaaaan, they are stubborn.

Dabi is the type of person that would have a whole album on his phone for Tomura's pics he has taken while the boss is distracted. They are just random pics of Tomura doing normal stuff, but they bring a lot of comfort to Dabi.

When he's drunk he stares at this pics for hours just being in love. And yes, he's also horny becuase it's Dabi so come one.

But seriously, once Dabi admits his feelings, he is the type that just says stuff to Tomura's face and he has to deal with it. He compliments his eyes and tells him every little dirty through he's having and he puts his arm around Tomura's neck and—

Sometimes Tomura just does it back. The have zero shame with the other because they trust each other so so much. Other times Tomura gets overwhelmed because, thanks to his traumas, it's hard for him to process all of it. Dabi is always patient with him when that happens.

Because Dabi has those moments too, where he goes aggressive and wild be aus it cannot be happening. Probably someone is messing with is head, right? Tomura can't be real because— Dabi is in love, okay? And Tomura seems to be in love too. And that's just no happening. He is not allowed to be happy.

Since they both know romance can be a big deal for them, they prefer to be just themselves. And that means, they are constantly bantering and fighting like best friends but also longtime rivals.

They're both very competitive and it's easy to do stuff when they think about it like a game, or like a battle.

And they're so cute when they just get an scenario in their heads and they act it up. They like pretending they're living other lives, so yes, they're into roleplaying.

That means they lay at night staring at the ceiling in each other arms, discussing how they'd be if they were pirates, for example. Where would they kiss, where would they punch each other's faces.

They're the only persons that can call the other using their real names. They use those names as a code. If they call the other by that name, something is happening. It means "pay attention to me, I need you to listen".

When they're feeling down, they can always imaging the other in one of those imaginary worlds, calling them by their real names. They feel somehow better with that.

Dabi hates rollercoasters and boats equally, so every time they go to an amusement park with the League, Tomura stays with him playing other stuff. And then Dabi let's Tomura go by himself on every crazy ride and game, just watching how insane his lover is.

Lover. Dabi loves calling Tomura his lover, because he's a romantic piece of trash.

He also loves buying flowers for Tomura and taking him to hidden places with smart clothes to have fancy secret dances. Like they're royals running away from the castle to dance on their own.

Tomura never gets tired of watching Dabi with a suit or a smoking. It makes his heart jump every time.

And Dabi has a thing for edgy Tomura on crop tops and combat boots and eyeliner and ponytails.

Dabi likes when Tomura bosses him around, he's not gonna lie. He loves watching Tomura being confident and taking what he wants when he wants it.

Tomura likes soft Dabi, when he asks if he can kiss him even when they were kissing five minutes ago. He likes the way Dabi dress nicely for him and takes him out to brag about him.

But Dabi is also in love with how cute Tomura is. He's in love with his gamer fits and his tantrums and his oversized hoodie. He's in love with his soft colored hair, with the way he's eyes shine like strawberries in the middle of the summer when he's happy, with the way he tries to hide his smile but it grows and grows and then it explodes in laughter.

And Tomura can't help how he feels when he sees Dabi being a rockstar. The way Dabi looks at him in public, the heat of his words and the edge of his smirk, the deadly poison that drips from his hips when he predates towards him and Tomura feels like he should be running, but he can't move. He doesn't want to move. He wants all of Dabi to himself, he wants to surrender and be at peace for once.

And they started into each other eyes under the moonlight, lying on the floor of an old room, and they know they have chosen well. They don't want someone to complete them, they want a partner in crime who is willing to die with them and kill for them and stay, stay when everyone else has run, stay when the cops surround them, stay side by side 'til the end.

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anachronisticcrab · 3 years

Text

Percy Being Good To Nico

I love Percy and Nico friendship, but in canon, Percy was such an ass to Nico. So here are some ideas of how that could have been changed in a canon divergent fic

After the Battle of the Labyrinth, when Nico was trying to leave CHB and Percy stopped him, Percy gave Nico his phone number and home address in case of emergency (that’s how he knew where Percy lived)

After Percy’s birthday party that Nico crashed, Sally started getting Nico to come for dinner once a month, which caused Nico and Percy to become a lot closer

This seriously cut back on Percy’s stress because he wasn’t constantly worrying about Nico (like where he was, if he was okay, how many monsters was he fighting now, how much is he eating, where is he sleeping, when was the last time he actually performed any sort of self care, etc)

Pretty quickly once a month dinners became once a week dinners, which usually ended in Nico staying overnight

When Sally and Paul got married, they moved into Paul’s apartment, and Sally gave Nico the address. When he showed up the first Friday for dinner, he almost cried of joy (they had added an extra bed in Percy’s room for Nico to stay in)

Percy throws Nico a surprise party for his birthday every year, and Nico tried baking Percy a cake for his birthday one year. Suffice to say, it didn’t end well, but Percy still ate it with a smile on his face because his little brother made it for him

After that though, Percy and Nico agreed that Percy and Sally would stick to the baking, and Nico could stick to making meals

They had a two hour conversation after the Battle of Manhattan to talk about the Styx thing. It ended with a tearful apology from Nico, and a tearful hug from Percy. Now the two of them have a conversation twice a month about their feelings and bullshit that’s happened

Percy making Nico watch an endless stream of Disney movies (Finding Nemo, Moana, The Little Mermaid, basically anything that goes along with the sea)

When Percy finds out about Nico’s love of pirates, he gets Nico to watch all the Pirates of the Caribbean movies with him

Percy feeds Nico bullshit facts about the modern century (ie. the Soviet Union renamed themselves the Cotton Candy Brigade and then disbanded, but citizens of former soviet countries are still called Munchkins)

Nico feeds Percy bullshit facts about both the 30’s and Italy (ie. Italy is known to its citizens as the Peninsula of Cazzo, and that they didn’t have cutlery or plates in the 30’s)

Sometime between botl and tlo, Nico’s feelings for Percy morphed from romantic to brotherly

When Nico had to lie to Percy about who he was in SoN, it was the hardest thing he ever had to do. Percy knew that he knew Nico, and it crushed Nico that Percy couldn’t remember him, and that he couldn’t tell Percy anything. He hadn’t seen his big brother in almost a year, and now Percy didn’t remember him, and he couldn’t remind him

When they saw each other again on the Argo 2 before Percy and Annabeth fell into Tartarus, you cannot convince me that Percy didn’t give Nico a hug

Nico genuinely didn’t have a crush on Percy by HoO, he thought of Percy as a brother. He was still really ashamed of being gay, and he loved Percy (just in a very different way). That’s why Jason wasn’t sure if Nico still liked Percy or not after the Cupid thing. He could tell that Nico was ashamed and loved Percy, but he didn’t know that Nico just loved Percy in a different way

Nico got super ticked off at Percy when he said ‘are you sure you can do this’ to the shadow travel thing at the end of HoH mostly because Percy has a bad habit of treating Nico like he’s still that ten year old geek from Westover Hall

Like really. Everyone else around Nico sees a terrifying teenager who’s summoned army’s of the undead and destroys his enemies in ten seconds flat, but Percy just sees a kid with big eyes infodumping about his favourite card game wearing armour that’s three sizes too big telling him that he’s scared

It pisses Nico off because he’s not a little kid anymore, Percy! he can take care of himself! he isn’t gonna break the second he goes to fight!

Also, by extension, Nico and Tyson are siblings and Hazel and Percy are siblings (which adds Frank into their family, cause he’s Nico’s age and dating Hazel). So when Reyna, Nico, and Hedge were caught by Leah and Dakota on the boat, Nico was super excited to see his little brother again. He wasn’t even that upset when Tyson pulled him into a hug (even though he hates hugs)

When they see each other again at CHB after the Battle, they give each other a big hug. Percy tells Nico’s that he was so worried he’d never see his baby brother again, and Nico proceeds to make fun of Percy for waking up Gaia with a nosebleed

Also, after Reyna and Nico’s hug, Percy pulls Nico aside and is like ‘what’s the deal with you and Reyna’ and Nico’s like ‘she’s my sister now’ and Percy goes ‘oh, okay, cool. bring her around for family dinner next weekend’

Same with Jason, Rachel, and Meg, too. Percy’s always down for more adoptive family being around

After Nico came out to Percy and Annabeth, and told Percy that he’s gay, Percy went to the infirmary to talk to Nico. He wasn’t allowed in at first, but he waited outside for three hours so he could speak with Nico

Of course, this led to a three hour discussion, which involved a lot of apologies from both of them, and a lot of shared stories, and laughs, and a few tears. Percy told Nico he shouldn’t be ashamed of who he is, and he should’ve told Percy sooner

When Percy went home for the school year, and to see his parents again, Nico joined him. There were lots of tears, hugging and blue cookies. Then Sally grounded them both for staying away for so long and worrying the hell out of her and Paul

When Percy sees Nico and Will interact, he makes it his goal to make them a couple. He and Jason spend hours plotting ways to get them together

Whenever Nico’s away from home for any amount of time, Percy gives Nico a big hug, ruffles his hair, and complains that he stayed away

When Nico first moves to New Rome for university, Will’s living in Massachusetts for Harvard Med School, so he moves in with Jason and Percy for a few years while he gets a degree in linguistics and anthropology

Btw, Annabeth thought Percy would distract her when she was trying to study, so she moved in with Piper and Reyna, and Percy moved in with Jason. It should’ve only taken her 4 years to get her masters in architecture, but the university offers a bunch of history, math, and design classes that she took because they were really interesting (it ended up taking her 6 years)

That’s all for now. I might make another post about this cause I live for Percy and Nico friendship. Btw,, DO NOT tag as P*rcico. This is purely familial and platonic headcanons

#percy jackson #nico di angelo #hazel lavesque #frank zhang #piper mclean #jason grace #annabeth chase #leo valdez #will solace #reyna ramirez arellano #reyna avila ramirez arellano #pjo #hoo #og post #solangelo #percabeth #sally jackson #paul blofis #estelle blofis

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give-grian-rights · 3 years

Text

HERMITCRAFT 8 LIVEBLOGGING

fifteen hermits worth of liveblogging. i am losing my mind. LONG POST AHEAD.

JOE HILLS (First HC8 Video)

Mumbo did the speech. he forgot everything he was supposed to say <3

Pearl and Gemini were just .in a pit . having stuff thrown onto them

Every Hermit is staying on the same continent !!

FIRST DEATHS VERY QUICKLY, Iron Golems took out Tango and Etho (maybe more?)

Joe seems to be the only one looting the chests

Evil Jevin !!

Evil Xisuma appearance on Jevin’s 60 second video!

Pearl has something planned for an “archeticual wonder” for a resupply area upon death?

Stress, Xisuma and Joe are capturing villagers and starting up a resupply debut.

Bdubs is killed by Cleo and is now OUT FOR BLOOD

First death counts- Etho, Tango, Bdubs, Cleo?

Cleo was killed by Keralis

Joe has now supplied Cleo with weapons and food . She left but not before saying “Time to kill BDubs again!”

Gemini was killed by Bdubs! They both died and are now at spawn.

Pearl was killed by Cleo

Pearl is planning a respawn inn !!

Cleo was killed by Iskall

Cleo was killed by Pearl

False, Stress, and Gemini team up??? AA!!! they brought a delivery of supplies to Joe <3

i wish i knew what was happening on that end .

APPARENTLY XISUMA IS ONTO MAKING THE SECOND VILLAGER BREEDER ALREADY ??

Iskall is the first with Diamonds??

Breathe in that ash !

WAIT IS TANGOS EYES LIKE THAT RN BECAUSE HES TEAMED WITH KERALIS AND BDUBS ???

KERALIS, BDUBS, AND TANGO TRIED TO DO A SHAKEDOWN ON JOE. HE TRIED TO DROP LAVA, GOT HIMSELF ONTO TWO HEARTS BECAUSE HE PLACED IT ON HIMSELF, AND IS NOW SWIMMING OUT INTO THE SWAMP

the big eyed trio are now off to shake down Gemini

Joe fell in Lava in the Nether

Joe Death To Lava Two: Electric Boogaloo

Joe drowned trying to kill a glowsquid

WATCH JOE’S VIDEO OH MY GOD SEAN HILLS RECAP RAP??? MY BELOVED????? i am gonna be streaming this unironically later LIKE OH MY GOD THIS SLAPS. ALSO THE CREDITS AT TEH END IS HILARIOUS

Zedaph Episode Recap

Zed gave us a recap of the continent every Hermit will be living on !!

Wouldn’t recommend Zedaph as the first video for the season, he skips the intro/speech but it’s Zedaph and hes making it fun!! Lots of nice editing :)

~SCIENCE TIME !~

Zedaph.. why is your starter base made out of concrete ?

There are no sheeps whatsoever on his mountain

Hes calling his lab an icecream sandwich..yeah i see it

Zed tried to make a portal underater...f

Scar died to a creeper </3

Zedaphs base is gonna be tracking how long hes there/someones loading the chunk!

XISUMA LIVE BLOGGING

A cool cinema scene of him becoming an axolotl!! <3

NOW I CAN SEE IT, GRIAN WAS THE FIRST DEATH!! Death by Iron Golem!!

XIsuma’s baseplans need over 45 THOUSAND BLOCKS TO BE PLACED

He’s also planning on making a shulkershell farm!!

i’m not gonna lie ! talking axolotl X is horrifying ! thanks !

Day one Villager Breeder... chaos.

Xisuma Derp! looked straight at a buncha wool and said how badly he needed beds and then walked away

THE GIRLS CAME OVER AND CONVINCED HIM HE NEEDS TO MOVE THE DESIGN OVER MY FIVE BLOCKS FOR SWAMP VILLAGERS..

THE GIRLS ARE JUST LAUGHING AT HIM AND HIS VILLAGER TROUBLES

day one and Xisuma has got his axolotl!!

Very pretty starterbase!!

XB’s

..I’m not gonna lie theres not much to say!! He’s very calm :) he says hes going into it without a plan, and htat last season was the only time he had any thought of what he was gonna do.

He made a real nice starter house and thats about it!

Cleo’s

Bdubs: “She ain’t gonna hurt me!! i’m invincible, babey!”

Cleo learnt that BDubs will never hurt her even if she deserves it . I am starting to realize why she kills him

SHE DECIDED SHES GONNA BE A PROPER CHAOS GREMLIN THIS SEASON...

AISDJASID CLEO GOT PAID TO KILL BDUBS?? HDUIAIHSI SCAR WHY

“Alright I found my mission for the season! Murder.”

Cleo, Mumbo, Grian, and Scar are all holed up in a cave together!

..Scar died from a skeleton !

Cleo has now split from Grian and Mumbo! Scar is missing in action

CLEO FOUND A GOAT

SHES KILLING THE GOAT???

she got a HORSE <3 and Joe gave her a saddle! I think her name is..Widget?

She LOVES the candles for shamboo n waterbottles and bits n bobs for her armorstands!!

Got her Armorstand stickgod book <3

Geminitay POV

NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT!!

She has a LOVELY voice!!

The pov of her in a hole . being surrrounded . is kinda hilarious

It might’ve been Etho who was first death?? I GENUIENLY CANNOT TELL BECAUSE OF EDITING

All the murder was just for heads!

Seriously her voice is. wow

WE LOVE A QUEEN WHO KNOWS HOW TO CRAFT A SHIELD WITHOUT USING THE GUIDE <3

False, Gemini, and Stress are on the great journey for MOSS !

Gem just blew their minds with the moss.

TANGO KERALIS AND BDUBS ARE BACK Keralis: “Show the diamonds show the diamonds show the diamonds!” Gem: “Keralis. This is not how you make friends.”

The boys suecessfully recieved a diamond each

Etho n Iskall are travelling together!! You dont see those two together often

Etho got a glowsquid head!!

Gem: “Etho doesn’t share, is what i’m learning..?”

Etho hooked her with a fishing rod and said she has to do what he said .

In order to get the diamonds, Tango, Keralis, and BDubs placed down a sign saying “Gem is Great!” and Gem used a glow inksack on it.

Etho: “So..What is this? Do you have an ego, or this a motivational thing, or..?” He said, while laughing

Iskall: “I think its really funny that you have set your base up in the middle of a birch forest.” Gem: “I love birch forests! Do you not like my birch forest? Iskall: “I love it, yeah.” Gem: “This is the best biome in the game, Iskall.” Iskall: “Mmmm..” Etho: “I’m pretty sure I heard Iskall talking earlier that like, of all the biomes in the game, there was one he hated more than anything. Gem: “Oh really? And what was that one?” Iskall: “..Taiga.” Gem: “Taiga.. That’s true, thats a good one, thats a good one.” Iskall: “Don’t like Taiga.” Gem: “Mhm.” Etho: “Which one do you hate more than anyone?” Iskall: “..Diorite fields. Thats a bad one.” Etho: “Yeah thats a bad one.” Gem: “Didn’t know about that one. Well make sure to avoid’em. Birch forests are really good.” Iskall: “I’m a big fan of birch forests.” Gem: “Yeah, me too, me too. I’m glad we’re on the same page :) This is so beautiful! All the white and- and the like zebra stripes! is fantastic.” Iskall: “I..Um.. Yes.”

OH SHE’S CANADIAN,, ETHO HAS A FRIEND /j

She’s still in college :O SHE’S A SCIENTIST?? SHES WORKING AT A HOSPITAL?? POG!!

She accidentally found an enchanted golden apple in a mineshaft!! she thinks its the first she ever found in survival!!

She has a cow, sheep, and a few crop farms set up!! Her starter house has INTERRIOR!

SHE CHANGED HER SKIN AND ITS SO PRETTY AND HAS OVERALL AND I LOVE IT!!

shes doing a cottage core inspired base!

WOAHH!!! SHE MADE HTE MOST GOREGOUS CUSTOM TREE I’VE EVER SEEN ??

BDUBS IS HERE and he is so so so impressed by the tree ?!

also hes carrying a clock.. :(

He’s here with a present!

HE BROUGHT BAMBOO!

she thinks its so funny that he stops conversations to sleep AOIDHFEAUI\

SCARS

WE GOT A TRANSITION SCENE!! the canonical reason for the bed in his old village always being occupied is because underneath it, was his wizard portal!

Bdubs: “It’s a new season! You’re the little guy now!”

They are all very amused by that ^

they’re rubbing the fleece of bdubs jacket .

Bdubs: “Have a nice rub :)” PLEASEAHSIOJDIUASLDHIASDA

His starter base is gonna be a wagon and he wants the end game to be a bioshock esque skyscraper!

he confused a horse for a player . flashback to iskall thinking mumbo was a mob

PEOPLE THINK MUMBO DOESNT HAVE PANTS ON.... </3

Scar, Mumbo, and Grian.. have NO braincells. at all. THey just placed a crafting table with a boat on top with a bed on top with a boat on top .

this is what BROS FOR LIFE looks like.

BOATEM POLE !

SCAR IS STUCK UNDERGROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IRL AND HAS NO PICKAXE..

AND HE DIED TO A CREEPER .

it seems like Grian, Mumbo, and Scar are working together !!!! HOLY SHIT !!

THERES SO SO SO MANY FARMS???????

he died several times trying to catch a skeleton with a sword

FIRST CHEST MONSTER OF THE SEASON <3

SCAR JSUT TOLD BDUBS HE LOOKS LIKE OSCAR THE CROUCH... BDUBS CANNOT EVEN ARGUE

OH NO.... GRIAN WENT AFK IN A HOLE . WITHOUT A HELMET .

THEY PUT A GLOWSQUID HEAD ON HIM

OH MY GOD MUMBO MADE A NOTEBLOCK SONG?? AJUDA

SCARS BUILTING IS SO SO SOOS GOREGOUS SERIOUSLY GO WATCH THE VIDEO OH MY GOD ITS HUGE

its a giant ass house boat wagon . its pulled by a llama . that killed him . so now its trapped, pulling hte agon, forever

Grian: “..Thats a very big house, for a very little hat.”

GRIANS SUPER SPECIAL EGG??

SCAR PUNCHED IT..

they really came out here . and killed the egg already.

Scar: “..I touched the thing”

TANGO POV

We see the three big eyed boys forming <3 they interrupted Tangos intro

THEY’RE BULLYING HIM ABOUT HAVING SMALL EYES AHIDUIASUHDWIS

HE TRIED TO CALL THE TRIO TEAM BUG EYE... THE OTHERS ARE VERY OFFENDED

they found an axolotl and Bdubs was TERRIFIED just screaming “WHAT IS THAT YELLOW THING?!”

BDUBS IS ATTACKING IT ???

okay nope Bdubs caught one and Tango lost it

Bdubs is naming his axolotl Idiot

AMAZING HOUSE. WHY IS TANGO SO GOOD AT BUILDING AND REDSTONE??

Impulse POV

MUMBO TRIED TO PLACE DOWN A BERRY BUSH TO HURT IMPULSE . HE FORGOT HOW BUSHES WORK..

I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT IMPULSE WAS IN THE BOATEM POLE

so it looks like those four are hteo nes who grouped up together

PEARL BROKE THE CONSTITUION SHE GOT IN THE WRONG BOAT SMH

THIS IS SEASON EIGHT! FIVE BROS !

So its gonna be about five people in the same area!!

YOO!! Fantasy build for Impulse!!

G gave Impulse a spyglass, they had a fun moment of zooming in on eachothers face and complimenting eachother IHAUDIHAW

Grian and Impulse worked on an xp farm!

ASHDUIWAHISD GRIAN JUST LOGGED ON INFRONT OF HIM

a pillager stole his boat . not just any pillager . the one with a banner. </3

he has to live with Mumbo tuning a song .. </3 haha

Mumbo POV

it took fifteen seconds until Grian ran in during Mumbos intro

CONFIRMED? GRIAN WAS FIRST DEATH?

SECOND PERSON TO THINK MUMBOS PANTS ARE SKIN COLOR. GRIAN..

Grian: “Can you..Briefly explain why you’re just wearing a hawaiian shirt?” Mumbo: “Uh- what do you mean ‘just wearing a hawaiin shirt? I have shorts on as-well, dude”

FOLLOWED BY

Mumbo: “Can you explain why you’re wearing a red jumper?” Grian: “You know- you know i was born with this!”

MUMBO AND GRIAN STOLE THE BOAT LOOT FROM RENDOC

I THINK RENDOC JUST STOLE THE DIAMOND MUMBO THREW??

Grian: “Is that Scar?” Mumbo: “I can’t see past your giant waffle!”

DSFSDFJIOA they did an edit where they placed down a boat, both Mumbo and Grian got in, they made noises and then bopped up on top of the ravine they were in <3

THEY HAVE NO BRAINCELL THEY JUST PLACED DOWN A BENCH AND SAID “THIS IS THE MARK OF OUR VILLAGE!” and then placed a torch and a boat and a bed and aANOTHER BED..

..Mumbo is trying to be a pacifist this season!

Grian’s taunting him with beheaded things

And obviously part of being pacifist means he’s gonna be vegetarian in minecraft!

..he cannot use monster farms because pacifisim..

Mumbo was in the middle of reading the magical Timmy shack that Tango made (did i remember to mention that? who knows) and IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING TO THE PART ABOUT IF YOU REMOVE STUFF FROM THE CHEST, NOTHING WILL BE ADDED IN IT AGAIN. Grian opened the chest . Mumbo SHOUTED HIAUDHUW Grian jumped man

They renamed it “Cave of Do Not Enter” HIAUEDUH

Mumbo and Scar BOTH did not know- at least Mumbo didn’t, Scar forgot, that podzol spawns from two-by-two spruce..

him and his guitar song to be played underneath his house.. it goes with the aesthetic i suppose

MAN HE NEEDS SO MUCH HAYBALES I FORGOT THATS NEEDED FOR THE TUNE HE WANTS

Mumbo: “What.. On Earth.. Scar, it’s meant to be a starterbase, buddy! What is this? This is many things, many many things, a starterbase is NOT one of them!”

HE LITERALLY DIDNT KNOW THAT THE DRAGON EGG TELEPORTS... WHEN YOU TOUCH IT...

BDUBS

nothing special we havent seen yet!! just him screaming about axolotls.

He was working in the Mesa in his intro, skipping the “speech” from Mumbo

He released Idiot the Axolotl and lost it .

Him SCREAMING “Gemini” is HILARIOUS

While Gemini gave away those three diamonds, Keralis got so excited he won a bet with Tango and Bdubs, that he gave back . two of the diamonds . and none of htem released until well after they left

Bdubs: “That’s why i have my mwoss skin!” PLEASE I LOVE THE WAY HE SAYS IT.. make the moss hood.. REAL..

it took me a while to figure out what his base is but i LOVE IT so so much!!!

Nothing much new to add !!

Stress pov

please i love her . very good !! False seems to have joined her sheerly because Stress sounded like she knew what she was doing. she does not.

False felt peerpressured and asked Stress for permission to fight her because everyone was killing eachother .

It ended up with Stress following False. they found a village!

ISKALL only saw him one other time today!!

JEVIN APPEARS AGAIN !

XISUMA FELL INTO HTE BREEDER AND IT WAS SO FUNN IUAHHYIAUSD

Ren: “Ya look goregous, Stress!” Stress: “Thanks! Don’t murder my dog!”

She’s so proud of herself for caving!! (with False n Gem

Iskall blew up!

..Iskall fell from a high place

Stress has a LOVELY ravine base!!

False

False wants to become pirates with Stress <3

gatekeep gaslight girlboss

BIG OL MUSHROOM HOUSE !!

it looks like a mushroom church and i LOVE IT.

Nothing new we didn’t see from Gem. She does want to come up with a banner design for her base, though!

Grian

..Mumbo just thought Grian had a purpose so decided to follow him <3

ALSO HIS INTRO, AS HE JOKED ABOUT IN THE OTHERS VIDEO, WAS, IN FACT, THE BOATEM POLE

Grian is SO PROUD of the fact taht they got good loot from a treasure map. Ren and Doc are NOT IMPRESSED

Grian: “Lets go, potato boy!”

Mumbo: “I don’t have to replace everything I break! Peace Love and Plants- are these plants..?” He says, mining amethyst

pants

he who controls the egg, controls the server... Grian.. you’re doing great sir

...He decided.. his goal.. is to make his OWN..caves and cliffs update... HELLO..?

Grian was the first one to kill the enderdragon, MAN. Speedrunning career WHEN? /j

Grian: “And now [Mumbo] is flexing on my bed!”

he might not have a base. but he has an egg.

It is now 2am. i cannot do this anymore. This will be continued.. tomorrow!

#long post #SERIOUSLY I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW LONG I WENT #spoilers #hermitcraft 8 #hermitcraft 8 spoilers #hc 8 #hc 8 spoilers #mcyt #mcytblr #hermitblr #hermitcraft #mika-posts

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