Me meeting a genie: Okay, so my first wish is for 1000 dollars a day, deposited to my bank account without any way of tracing it to anything illegal. I want this money to come from the ten richest people in America (100 dollars each), withdrawn under the guise of nebulous, random purchases and surcharges. It would probably be best to split the money into a myriad of smaller fees, though, to reduce the likelihood of anyone noticing. Got all that?
Me, continuing on without a care: For my SECOND wish, I want you to give me the ability to learn any given phoneme, so that I can learn to pronounce new languages perfectly. If you're willing, it'd be nice if it were a little easier to memorize new languages too, but if that's not cool, I'm perfectly fine doing all the legwork myself I mostly just want to be capable of pronouncing things correctly.
Genie, now staring at me like I'm insane: ......okaaayyy?....
Me: For my third wish. I want to always have great ideas for gifts for people. Every birthday, every holiday, I want to be able to come up with something they'd really like, with enough time to actually get it for them.
Genie, just staring at me
Me: I can provide you with a written document if that would help.
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EDITED 2/8/2021 - this post has an insane number of notes & i hope it’s still circulating SO! i am updating it with a few more relevant fundraisers for tribal covid-19 relief in the southwest, including a few aimed at tribes not on the navajo nation that are in similar straits (in az, nm and utah)
one in every 475 native americans has died from covid since the start of the pandemic. For the navajo nation, it's one in every 160 people.
far east navajo covid-19 response fund (organized by torreon community alliance)
hopi emergency relief fund supporting the the hopi foundation lomasumi'nangwtukwsiwmani
havasupai tribe covid-19 relief fund - ever seen photos of the waterfalls in the grand canyon with striking turquoise water against red rock? that’s the land of the havasupai, the most remote tribe in the lower 48, & they’re so often fucked over by white tourists. please support them.
bluff area mutual aid is a mutual aid group based out of bluff, utah
and the official navajo nation covid-19 relief fund
these are all legitimate support systems & fundraisers that i know about through some contacts at the grand canyon trust. thank you.
here’s the original list of fundraisers:
****i wanted to share some ways that we all can help the diné (navajo) community right now*****
below are a number of organizations & community groups raising money & resources. it would mean so much to me if you’d consider supporting these communities right now - & continue to think about how you can support the indigenous communities near you, & understand the indigenous land you might currently occupy.
the navajo water project helps bring running water to navajo families without, and also helps families pay their water & electricity bills
the adopt an elder project helps feed navajo elders during the pandemic
the navajo health command operations center is the navajo nation’s only official fundraising and donation effort
the kinlani mutual aid group is a flagstaff, az based volunteer group collecting supplies
the new mexico children’s foundation has a navajo family relief fund.
and a number of community-run fundraising efforts:
navajo & hopi families relief fund
native student emergency fund
navajo nation relief project
food baskets for the elderly on the navajo nation
rez rising (database of native american small businesses)
and just for fun here’s some great news coverage about the state of the navajo nation i’ve read recently
natives and the path to suffrage in arizona (short video)
“for the navajo nation, everything takes time - including voting’
how the us poisoned the navajo nation
climate change is drying the liveblood of navajo ranchers
an in-depth look at the water crisis impacting the navajo nation
the good food indicator - native land information system
if you’re aware of any other legitimate fundraising efforts to help these communities, or the indigenous communities near you, please add them. again, this is specific to navajo communities in the southwest.
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instead of a weird Premium Tumblr subscription model that is literally useless due to alternatives like Patreon and Only Fans that Tumblr stands absolutely no chance of realistically competing with how about you let me tip on posts??? like literally if y’all have to both monetize this site AND rip off another platform can you just steal the fucking Twitch Model™️??? let me donate based on my enjoyment of the content i could consume for free and then take your stupid finder’s fee you dumb little website
like “ah this post made me laugh. here is a dollar op. thank you for the serotonin”
“these gifs are really good and they must have taken a long time and also i got paid today so here is $5”
“so true, beloved mutual. here is $3. just because. why not”
“this person’s hot take is so terrible that i want to reply ‘here’s my two cents, shut the fuck up’ and literally donate two cents before i block them just to be petty. and i don’t even care if tumblr takes one of those two cents. in fact, in many ways that is even funnier”
✨ lean into the chaos of this platform and the impulsivity of your userbase you absolute buffoons. i am begging you ✨
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ANYWAY you cannot convince me that the air nomads didn’t have any sort of trade good based on the flying bison and aang just didn’t have the time or safety to make and sell any of these while trying to stop ozai. they probably did so much spinning just because drop spindles are super transportable, it’s something to do while flying long distances, there’s always a weaver somewhere willing to buy yarn, and there’s always, always large amounts of shed fur just. around. look at how much came off of appa that one episode. so much fur
so three things happen the summer after ozai is defeated and appa starts shedding in earnest again
aang starts spinning and selling yarn because that’s What You Do and he’s clinging REAL HARD to every possible air nomad tradition because, well, who else will remember these things?
toph hears about this and scruffs him before he can sell too much because she’s a merchants daughter and holy shit aang do you understand what you’re selling?? yarn from the last known sky bison! the avatar’s own spirit guide!! spun by the avatars own hand!!!! what are you doing aang!!!!!! she has to drag katara in at this point because aang is real unhappy with the idea that his normal flying bison yarn of, uh, questionable quality is being sold to exclusive high class weavers so they can make shawls for filthy rich nobles for baaaaaank just on the basis of his name. this isn’t how the monks did it :/ and he doesn’t WANT a lot of money anyway! he’s a monk!! he only asks for what he needs to survive!! anyway katara manages to talk toph around to donating most of the money to reconstruction efforts, charities, and orphanages and convinces aang that having an emergency fund is a good thing and he should keep something. aang accidentally ends up with a reasonably full bank account and is really confused about how that happened, why it’s there, and what he’s supposed to do with it
there is a real weird period of time where it’s In Fashion for high noble ladies to have shawls and scarves dyed the same color as aangs clothes (because that’s how you know it’s made with special avatar yarn!) or have images of appa woven into them (can you imagine a shawl that’s just a full length body shot of appa?? amazing) and all the earth kingdom nobility are just rocking green and orange like nbd. weaving decorative shawls with slubby yarn becomes really in fashion, too, because aang is not great at spinning. he’s 13 and it’s boring, ok?
BONUS sokka is just. so mad. you could have been making bank with appa the whole time we were scrambling around the planet aang? do you realize how much more food we could have had? how many more hot baths?? how could you betray me like this
(probably the air nomads also did a lot of weaving but it was mostly the pregnant nuns and the really old nomads so it’s a little off aangs radar. and does aang eat cheese? it never comes up in series but I would also believe that the nomads made a lot of air bison cheese and bison butter tea)
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