“I love you” -jay park angst
~I love you, you already know oh oh oh~
I locked my jaw angryily looking at jay as he drove at lightning speed past palm trees and brightly lit strip malls we’d spent house fooling around in. “It’s 2 am slow down, dumbass. People are drunk” I said, returning to looking out the window.
That little cunt
Ever since he’s been living with me he’s been like this.- actually that’s a lie. He’s never like this.
Never been this... cunty.
Every fucking night he drags me to party’s id much rather sit on my couch during. He’s always got a drink in his hand and 4 girls half naked- tits and ass out, on his lap, as i sit there with his keys and a glass of water, watching. I don’t think I’ve slept in my own damn house for more then 4 nights this month. It’s fine, he takes atleast 1 girl home, (if It’s a slow night), fucks her in MY house, and I charge my hotel room to his credit card.
But tonight I ‘lived a little’ as he told me to 24/7. I wasn’t dressed like a slut, in fact some girl who called me a slut in the bathroom after seeing me hug jay said I was dressed like a nun,(like usual). But tonight, I talked to the bartender and danced with him a little. He was sweet, and funny, and we had a good time together. And then bitchy little park jaebum grabed my arm and said ‘were going home-now’
“are you gonna say something or just sit there like an ass?” I said annoyed. Cuntface. “Shut the fuck up, slut” he snapped, before speeding up.
Jays never cursed at me. Not like the usual, ‘asshole’ ‘bitch the fuck’ or notmal, playful stuff. Not like, ‘your a slut’ “fuck you, asshole” I snapped back. We sat in silence for the next 10 Minutes, finally getting back to my house.
“You live in my house for free, fuck sluts in my guest bedroom every night, and have the Fucking nerve!” I yelled.
I quickly opened my side door and slammed it shut, but accidentally closed my finger. The last thing I herd as I started crying and screaming in pain was jay woriedly screaming my name.
Forcedly sitting on my counter, jay had my hand in a bucket of ice water, looking for the medical kit under the counter. “G-ah-go-go to sleep jay I’ll be-ow-fine” I said, attempting to be alone. “Shut up. A), Your not and B), just because I’m mad dosent mean I won’t take care of you. Your my-my Best friend” he said, his face softening at the end.
Friend zoned again.
Maybe this situation would make more sense if I explained that I’m in love with my best friend.
After a few minutes he sighed. “Maybe this happened for a reason. We needed to calm down” he sighed. “Your fingers fine, cuntface” I said again, still angry. “I’m sorry, okay?” He said, huffing. He put his hand on my wrist. I flinched a little, just by reflex to a guy touching me at all. I’ve been like this since high school, and jay is the only person who knows why, for a million obvious reasons.
“Can I see your hand please? I’m not gonna hurt you” he clarified. I nodded softly. “The airs gonna hurt, okay? Your gonna cry, but I need to see your hand to see if i need to chop it off” he said, smirking the last two words and changing from his serious attitude in the beginning of the sentance, taking a steak knife out of the drain board, sucesfully making me laugh.
Carefully, he took my hand in his palm, and I let out a whimper, my other hand gripping his shoulder. “Let it out, ooohhh inhale, exhale” he said, softly. I started to breathe as jay looked at the blood pooling beneath my nail. He duped my hand in the ice for a secound before wrapping my finger in a bandage tightly, dropping it in ice again.
“Breathe. All done, princess” he smiled, filling a new bowl with ice, as the old was now melted. He carefully transferred hands.
“-we need to talk, though” he said seriously as I slowly, with my ice bowl walked to the living room. I didn’t need the bucket anymore, so I placed it on the floor and stood up facing jay.
“Go” I said annoyed.
"I'm realy sorry I blew up earlier it's just-" he starte but I wanted to say my peice. "Do you want to know why I was mad? Because you can fuck a 100 girls a day but I can't dance with one fucking guy" I said agravatedly. "Yoo-your not my dad" I said softly. "I'm sorry, princess- if k knew it bothered you-" "if you knew it bothered me? First, stop calling me princess. We're not a thing. And secound if all, I can't sleep in my own fucking house, of corse it bothers me" I said, still pissed.
"If you let me explain-" he started. "It's just, Ive been trying to hide something for years, and I've been with all these girls, it's just-" "oh my god are you gay?" I gawked. "What? Fuck no. It's just, for years I've been trying to find other girls, or love other people, but I can't. There not attractive as you, and there not as kind as you, or as sexy as you p, and I-I'm in love with you" he said, flat out.
I stood there slack jawed.
"All this time..." I signed, in shock.
"All this time, Ive felt the same way, and I've had no idea"
I smiled, and he pulled me close and kissed me.
"I'm realy happy we got into that fight" he mumbled.
"God, I love you~"