#they were able to somewhat get some closure from each other and it felt real and natural

[realizashuns]

crying in the club

#snk spoilers #aot spoilers #Annie leonhardt #reiner braun #I never liked seeing that flashback cause it was so sad to see 2 legit kids fight and choke the other one out #but it was so great to see Annie and Reiners growth separate and have this moment here #pain all around #and then when [redacted] came in to save the BOTH of them :') #they were able to somewhat get some closure from each other and it felt real and natural #attack on titan #snk #aot

[reidyoulikeabook]

Right Where You Left Me

Ship: BAU! Gender Neutral! reader x Spencer Reid

#Request - Could you do some angst with “you dont deserve my forgiveness?” Any ship!

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: Mention of death, violence, injury (not serious), angst, mourning, a lot of tears. Also, swearing, anger, fighting (verbal, not physical.)

Summary: You and Spencer Reid had been together for a year before he ‘died.’ You grieved him. You mourned him.

A/N: Title stolen from my (current) favourite Taylor Swift song. Not sure how I feel about this one but! Here it is anyway! My requests are open & pls feel free to let me know what you think!!

14 days and 30 minutes exactly

You don’t think about the day Spencer Reid died. You can’t, because even remembering he’s dead feels as if an ice bucket has been tipped over your head. Not even now, two weeks later, have you really gotten over the initial shock that you felt. Every waking moment felt like you were trying to solve some kind of never-ending puzzle. Each emotion was overwhelming, too much to process. It felt like things would only start to get better, like everybody promised they would, when you started to be able to name the emotions rather than describe them as the physical sensations they brought on.

And you didn’t think that’d happen anytime soon.

The shared apartment was too much. You hadn’t slept in your bed since he’d been gone, and forbid anyone else from going into the bedroom. It was a sanctuary.

You understood now more than ever why victims families never changed a thing about the room of their loved ones. Every single thing felt deliberate. Theirs. It was a reflection of the time they were most alive, living. A unique snapshot of them in motion. The mess they left that they expected to come home to.

Rationally, you knew that wasn’t true. There wasn’t a sock hanging off Spencer’s bedside table, or a clean cardigan balled up on the floor, for any reason other than he’d been in a rush that morning, and had left an uncharacteristically large mess in his wake. In more ways than one.

***

2 months, 5 days, 8 hours

Being back at work helps somewhat, but the office feels empty without him there to ramble off factoids about anything and everything, to hear Morgan calling him ‘kid’ every five minutes. He only called you that now.

Simmons is nice, really he is. It isn’t his fault he’s there in place of Spencer and you try hard not to feel personally aggrieved by his presence. He doesn’t do anything to antagonise you, he stays out of your way more than anything. You don’t do anything to purposely make him uncomfortable: you do try to be agreeable and make small talk. But it’s hard not to look at him without thinking how, if everything was how it should be, Spencer would be stood in his place.

***

3 months, 26 days, 3 hours.

There is no ‘new normal.’ You’ve heard the term tossed around a few times in relation to grief, but if there is a new normal you’re still struggling to find it. When you’re not on cases, there’s no ‘normal’. You still don't sleep in your own bed. Sometimes you stay on Rossi’s, or Morgan’s, or Garcia’s couch. Sometimes, read: maybe once, it’s in the spare room at the place you and Spencer used to share. Sometimes, when you get worried about being a burden, it’s a hotel. It’s easier to feel as if you’re choosing to stay away from home, rather than acknowledging that home, as you understand it, no longer exists.

You still wake up and instinctually search for Spencer most mornings. Sure, work is keeping you occupied and you smile a little more these days. You even allowed yourself to be dragged out for drinks last weekend. But nothing feels like it should. You don’t know if that’s normal for grief or if you just aren’t moving forward at all, doomed to tread yourself deeper into the melancholic quicksand that’s got a hold on you.

You talk at length about it with Garcia over wine one night.

“Nothing feels right,” you admit, “Everything just feels...”

Garcia waits, just tipping her chin slightly to encourage you to continue. She’s got the counsellor act down and you’d have the decency to feel embarassed if you weren’t just so damn exhausted all the time.

“I feel trapped, I guess. Like I’m frozen. I keep thinking maybe it’ll get better once the trials over. Once the whole legal aspect of it is over and put to bed, then maybe I’ll have some closure on the whole situation,” you mumble, “I just don’t know how to move forward. I don’t feel like I’ve moved forward. And I know it’s only been three months but I’ve only stayed at our apartment twice and I can’t bring myself to move any of his things and...”

She just waits. In that moment, you’re so grateful for her.

“I’m stuck here. I can’t change anything. I can’t bring myself to move any of his things. I’m paying rent on a place I don’t live in but I can’t move because how can I live somewhere he’s never been? I feel like I’m stuck. I can’t move out of the world he lived in but the world is moving on even without him. And I’m just...I’m just here, Garcia.”

She nods sympathetically, placing her hand on your arm, “Maybe it’ll help when the case is wrapped up. When you have that closure.”

“Yeah,” you agree, “Yeah. I hope so.”

“There’s something you’re not saying,” she says, gently, “And you don’t have to say it. But if you’re holding back because you feel guilty then you don’t have to feel guilty about anything you say to me, my darling.”

You start to well up then. The pressure in your chest is heavy, something akin to guilt. It slices into your chest, cut glass sitting between your ribs and slicing you open every time you breathe in. You’ve been thinking it a lot lately. Too much. It’s making you feel awful and you can’t decide if putting it out into the world verbally is going to be a release or make it feel too real.

Garcia waits patiently.

You decide to believe it’ll be the former, then whisper, “I wish I loved him less. I wish I’d loved him less so this wouldn’t hurt as much.”

And then the sobs come. The sobs that wrack your chest and sting your eyes and leave you looking like you’ve been on the receiving end of an upper cut. Because how could you? How could you possibly want to take back any of the love you had so willingly, freely, given to the person you loved most? What kind of person did it make you to want to take back the good memories: to wish that instead of having waffles on the couch that last Sunday, you’d had a fight about the library fine he’d gotten because of you? How could you want to switch the puzzle pieces to create a less idyllic picture of your life together, just so you wouldn’t feel so much loss when you looked at it?

She just rubs your back through it, knowing that no words can help but still saying the thing she thinks you need to hear most, “That doesn’t make you a bad person, sugar plum. That makes you human.”

***

4 months, 6 days, 14 hours.

Hotch calls you all into the briefing room.

“A few months ago a decision had to be made. Somebody had the potential to make an incredible breakthrough on a case that had been airtight for years. But it wasn’t possible for that individual to complete that work without cover. They needed to be officially gone,” Hotch’s voice booms but you swear you can hear a hesitation, “It wasn’t necessary at the time for you to have that information. Providing you with it would have compromised the safety of one of our agents, and the integrity of their investigation.”

You glance around the room, confused, noticing everyone is sharing the same bewildered look. Except Emily.

“I apologise completely for having to keep this from you, it was a decision that was not taken lately, and I did not have the final say. That being said, any discontent about this decision should be directed towards me,” he glances towards Emily, and she’s looking nervous now.

Hotch lets out a huff, somehow more tense than usual, “SSA Reid was not killed after the attack in Seattle. That was his cover, but he was investigating a case.”

He’s still talking but you can’t hear anything. SSA Reid was not killed. SSA Reid was not killed. You flip the sentence over a hundred times. And for the millionth time since SSA Reid was killed, you have no idea what you feel.

There’s uproar from everybody. Shouting. And then Hotch says something and everybody is looking at you, scanning you for a reaction and you have nothing. Nothing at all.

“Hi,” a voice from the doorway, nervous and shy, a voice you’ve only heard in dreams and voicemails and recordings from nights out that you must have watched hundreds of times by now, if they were tapes you would have worn them out long ago.

And you know you can’t face him. You can’t face any of them.

You look around the room, first at Hotch whose eyes flicker with what looks like remorse. Then, at Emily who just looks guilty as all hell. You don’t look at him. You can’t look at him.

The tension in the room is palpable but in your peripheral you see Garcia and J.J flock to the doorway, embracing him.

Rossi, is the one who comes to you, “____?”

You stare at him, completely blankly, “Yeah?”

“You need to speak to him. Need to hear him out.”

“Yeah,” you murmur, allowing him to help you to your feet. His reassuring hands on your shoulders turn you around and you meet his face. The face of the boyfriend you spent the last four months mourning while everybody watched you fall apart. And half of them knew.

So that’s what you feel. Anger.

“Glad you’re back,” you snipe, pushing past him, “Glad you’re alive.”

Everybody watches you go. A tense silence fills the room. Spencer clears his throat, after what feels like an eternity, muttering, “I-I’ll go after ... I’ll go and see if I can...”

It wasn’t the reaction he was hoping for, if he’s honest. Although he wasn’t sure what exactly he’d been expecting.

“____ please, just let me talk to you, I’m sorry, please just let me have a chance to explain,” He manages to catch you at the elevator just in time, slipping through the gap with his lithe body, “Please. I need to explain. I need to apologise.”

“You can apologise as much as you want. You don’t deserve my forgiveness. You’ll never deserve my forgiveness.”

The venom in your tone leaves him floundering.

“___ please,” he’s begging, and you won’t look at him because you can hear the tears in his voice and he’s begging again, “Please, please look at me, please listen to me. You have to understand, you have to give me a chance to explain, please.”

You’ve never been this angry at him before. But you are now. It consumes you, you’ve never understood a crime of passion before and you’re not going to put your hands on him, of course, but fuck do you understand it now. How a person could just snap. The rage swells in you, screaming. Every muscle in your body is tense. It takes all you have to ball your hands into fists, digging your nails into your palm so hard you’re sure they break the skin. You’re furious. Furious at every single one of them.

“You lied to me,” you spit, “You lied to me and let me think you were dead. You and Hotch and Emily. I didn’t sleep in our bed for four months, Spencer. I’ve spent the past four months frozen, like, I couldn’t move forward without you. I didn’t start to move on. I've spent the last four months falling apart and trying to find a way to put myself back together without you, and then what, you just come back? You think we can just go back to normal? Spencer, I didn’t feel alive this past few months. I’ve been floating through, barely keeping it together. And for what? A case? That was important enough for you to do this to me?"

It’s true, you’ve spent the last four months feeling like you were the one who died. That you were united in being ghosts, except you were haunting all the places you used to go together, and he was just haunting your dreams. And he’d been alive. This. Whole. Time.

You storm out of the lift, lifting your head to look at him for only the second time in four months, “Please. Just leave me alone. You’ve done enough.”

He knows you aren’t wrong. Knows he doesn’t know if he could forgive you if the roles were reversed. Knows, more than anything, that he’s really fucked things up. You’ll never forgive him. That’s what you said, and right now, seeing anger like never before in your eyes, he has no reason whatsoever to doubt that isn’t completely true.

You don’t even make it to the parking lot before you feel your resolve melt into absolutely nothing. Anger descending into relief, hot tears cascading down your cheeks as the mantra starts again on a new loop in your head: SSA Reid was not killed.

#spencer reid fanfic #imagine spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid #imagine criminal minds #criminal minds x you #bau!reader

[vicarfelix]

Incompetence

__

Felix Millstone x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Language

A/N: Not many Felix fics on here...

Word Count: 3,308

“Baby, you’re one of the damn finest captains to ever run a ship.”

__

“Welcome back, Captain.” ADA’s computer generated voice rang out in the entrance of The Unreliable.

The captain groaned under her breath as she closed the airlock of the ship behind her. She said a silent thank you to whoever was listening that she made it back in one piece and in relatively good health. She was a little banged up, but nothing a shot of adreno wouldn’t fix. It was her duty to save Halcyon...or at least get it going in the right direction. She knew this very well. Dr. Welles wouldn’t have woken her up from a 70 year hibernation if he didn’t think she had what it took. But this last mission had been a rough one.  

Initially, she wasn’t sure if she could afford to spend time on this mission. It was out of the way and where they would have to go was deep into the Monarch wilderness. However, Nyoka had been so hesitant to ask for the captain’s help which showed her how desperate she actually was. This was even more obvious considering that Nyoka hadn’t known the captain very long to be asking for personal favors. It was important to her to visit Hayes’ grave and try to find the rest of her old hunting squad. So, the captain figured it was worth the trip. She knew how important closure could be.

The captain, Nyoka, and Ellie had hiked a ways into Monarch and into the old cave that Nyoka and her previous team had made into a base camp. Sadly, they only found the dead bodies of her beloved friends and ended up putting them to rest once the rogue mantiqueen was taken care of. It was hard on Nyoka especially, but it even got the captain thinking about the current situation. Here she was, a Hope colonist who was thrown into a space pod by some crazed scientist for all she knew with the task of saving an entire colony. She had been asleep for the last 70 years and now she was supposed to hop between planets to save them from turmoil? It was insanity. She was only human and could only handle so much. She was thankful that she had been able to assemble a team along the way.

She met Parvati first. It was just the two of them for a while. She was the first friendly face the captain had met on her journey. She saved Parvati from the destruction of Edgewater and their crooked mayor. The captain desperately needed her engineering skills as well as a sharp mind to keep the ship in order. She was nice company and always willing to lend a hand. She never let her forget how grateful she was.

Vicar Max was a challenge in the beginning. She didn’t like the fact that this esteemed priest had asked her for a favor the moment she met him. She wasn’t sure if his spiritual counseling skills would be beneficial to the team. After all, she needed a gang of intelligence and physical combat skills. Max proved himself through his computer hacking skills which wasn’t something she would’ve expected from a vicar. He grew on her quickly and she was happy to have him around.

SAM was actually the last person she recruited into your party. Honestly if she hadn’t taken the time to deeply search through the late Alex Hawthorne’s spaceship, she never would’ve noticed him. He was stashed away in one of the closets upstairs, so at first she thought he was just used for parts. Once she took the time to get him fixed, he was up and off to work. She didn’t really ask him to be a part of the crew. He sort of just got started on his own. He didn’t say much, but he was a good fighter and kept things spiffy and clean.

At the time she met Ellie, she was in desperate need of a medic. She could only do so much, so having a doctor around was helpful. Ellie had the most secretive background of everybody. She came from one of the wealthiest families in Byzantium and really could’ve had it made. The captain commended her for living the life she wanted to live, even if it meant risking having her own flesh and blood disowning her. She was often the one the captain turned to when she needed to talk, because Ellie would tell it to her straight. She never left a conversation with Ellie still wondering how to handle something.

The captain tended to think that she saved Nyoka’s life. She was a drunk living in Monarch. She had been burned one too many times by the evil things of the world. Captain never judged her for how she chose to cope with her hurt and losses. She had a fiery passion for helping others and bettering the colony. The captain admired her worth ethic. It was her family and friends above all else. She was very loyal to those she cared about. She rarely questioned her captain’s decision making and always backed her up through it all.

Then there was Felix. Oh, wow. When she first met him on Groundbreaker, it was the first time she had stopped in weeks. He had been standing near the landing pad, arguing away with one of the mardets about something sketchy he had done. She had taken the time to stop to speak to him. She immediately noted that he wasn’t shy when it came to a fight. He wasn’t shy when it came to violence. Truthfully, Felix had kind of brushed her off at first. He didn’t seem very interested in joining The Unreliable. So, she moved on.

She completed a few favors for Groundbreaker’s main engineer Junlei Tennyson. Once the business was settled there, the captain decided it was time to set flight. As she was leaving, she saw Felix standing by the entrance of The Unreliable. She was surprised to see him, considering he hadn’t seemed too impressed by her before. He complimented the ship, claiming that she needed him to join her team.

She already knew she was going to say yes. However, she wasn’t going to be seen as a pushover. Because she wasn’t. He was delighted that she had given him a chance. He read his list (literally) of reasons as to why she should hire him. She was amused by him. He interested her. So of course she hired him on the spot.

He was like a kid on Christmas when he set foot on The Unreliable. She later learned that he had never been on a real spaceship. As a matter of fact, Felix had never even left Groundbreaker before. He was born and somewhat raised on Groundbreaker, living in the Back Bays all his life. It was all he knew. He was going to see space for the first time and get to explore new planets. She was his golden ticket to a more exciting life.

It wasn’t long after Felix joined that she grew closer to him. She felt wrong for a while for being so drawn to him. She was his “boss” as he always called her as well as his captain. But at the same time, she was really just his friend that happened to be in command of the ship he now lived on. They were the only real night owls, so they spent a lot of time into the late night hours just chatting. Getting to know each other over a bottle of spectrum vodka and strengthening a personal connection. Soon enough, they were sort of the equivalent of a modern day couple.

The rest of the crew sensed that something was up, but they had yet to officially say anything. The crew didn’t mind. They all agreed that she deserved someone loyal like Felix. They knew she would never favor him over anybody else, because she was always fair.

So, here she was now. She was just plain exhausted and needed some time to wind down. She had originally planned on leaving Monarch and docking at Groundbreaker to get some drinks before turning in. However, the mission had taken longer than expected, so she decided to stay in Stellar Bay and hit up Groundbreaker in the morning to give everybody a day off. They needed it. She entered the control room to deactivate ADA:

“ADA, we’ll head for Groundbreaker in the morning. You can shut down for the night.” She ordered the PC system.

“Docked in Stellar Bay and shutting down, Captain.” She replied before her screen went black.

It was ironic that you always had to tell ADA when to turn off. She couldn’t really turn off, because then the whole ship would go dark.

The captain felt relieved to have made it back safely. For there were a few moments where she had her doubts. She left the control room and climbed the stairs. Everybody was sitting around the table, Nyoka and Ellie looking especially tired. The captain’s eyes flicked over to Felix who was fiddling with the tossball that he always kept in his pocket. He flashed his girlfriend a grin, however it faded into a sympathetic frown when he noted how drained she looked. Everybody else looked at her upon noticing her standing in front of them;

“Hey, guys. Change of plans. We’ll leave in the morning for Groundbreaker. It’s late and quite honestly, I don’t feel like traveling,” She admitted; “Take it easy tonight. Tomorrow will be our off day to piddle around Groundbreaker. Get some rest.”

Everybody agreed happily to a day off and dispersed into their respective sleeping quarters. She rubbed her eyes to keep herself from getting too tired. She still had a few things she needed to do, so she wouldn’t be turning in just yet. She made sure to turn SAM off for the evening. SAM could power down on his own, but he often had the tendency to roam the ship freely during the night. Parvati had been spooked one too many times by SAM walking into her room unannounced.

She felt a hand on her shoulder as she went to approach the stairs to go back down. She looked up to meet Nyoka’s gaze. She had a certain gleam in her eyes past the fog of sleeplessness;

“Thanks for today. I really appreciate it, Captain,” She gratefully said; “I can rest easy now knowing they’re at peace.”

“Of course, Nyoka. Anything for you,” The captain returned with a smile; “Get some sleep. ADA will wake us in the morning.”

Nyoka returned to her room and the captain went back downstairs to her room. Truthfully, she wouldn’t be able to sleep even if she didn’t have work to do. She had too much on her mind. She sat at the long desk across from the bed, thumbing through files and papers that Alex had left behind. He had left piles and piles of reports about all the planets in the colony. She could just ask ADA, but these were personal notes and maps. They were useful, but detailed. It took serious time to go through them. Soon after she had sat down, she heard a voice from behind her;

“Hey, Boss,” Felix said gently tapping on the doorway; “You got time for a nightcap?”

She turned to see him standing there with two cups wrapped in one of his hands. She felt a warmth creep over her at the sight of him. She needed someone to talk to.

“Always,” She said, accepting his request to enter. A goofy smile appeared on his face as he entered and he handed her one of the cups. She thanked him before scolding him; “I told you that you don’t have to call me Boss.”

He shrugged as he took the chair adjacent to her for himself;

“It’s got a nice ring to it. I save Captain for special occasions.” He said sipping whatever was in the cups.

Speaking of, she peered down into the ceramic mug to see a familiar purplish liquid bouncing back your reflection. She smiled softly as she raised the rim to her lips, letting the sweet liquid grace over her taste buds.

“I hope you don’t mind sharing the portion. I know we usually get our own but we’re low on purpleberry juice so I split a bottle between us.” He said sliding down into his chair slightly and entwining one of his legs with hers.

“Oh, that’s totally fine. I’ll be sure to pick some up tomorrow,” She stated, taking another sip; “How were things here today?”

Felix rolled his head from side to side in an attempt to work out any kinks. He laughed shortly;

“Ah, the usual. SAM cleaned every square inch of the ship. Parvati spent all day writing a message to Junlei. Max had his nose in a book all day,” He explained; “I, on the other hand, was actually productive.”

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a carton of cigarettes that he picked up on Scylla. They weren’t his favorite Spacer’s Choice brand of smokes, but they would do. He offered her one first, lighting it for her, and then picking one for himself. She raised a brow at his previous statement, hiding her unconvinced smirk behind the cup;

“Is that so?” She asked for elaboration.

“Yeah! I organized all my tossball cards from my favorite to least favorite. It took me almost all day!” He clamored.

She laughed heartily. Only Felix Millstone would consider that to be productive. However, considering he didn’t get into any actual trouble, she would take that any day. She watched as he brought the cigarette to his lips that were upturned into an amused smile.

“Well, I’m glad you have your priorities straight.” She said sarcastically.

His eyes brightened;

“Hey! At least I didn’t get in a fight with ADA this time. I minded my business,” He defended; “But enough about me. How did it go with Nyoka and Ellie? You ladies seemed extra worn out.”

She sighed, her smile disappearing from her face. His heart did a quick pang in his chest when he saw her demeanor change so quickly. He had wanted to go with her on Nyoka’s detour mission. The captain had told him no, considering he had just gone on the previous one. He always felt that he could save her some grief if he went along on difficult missions. 

“It was long. It was hard...mentally and physically. Especially for Nyoka. She was expecting to find at least one of them alive. They were all dead.” She said recalling the overrun cave.

Felix winced at the thought. He had grown up in the Back Bays of Groundbreaker. He had seen his fair share of people get killed, but nobody he really cared about. She took a long drag of her cigarette. Letting the smoke fill her lungs completely.

“Marauders?” Felix asked referring to how they had died.

She shook her head as she released the puff from her chest through her nose.

“We don’t know for sure. We think it was mantipillars. Nyoka seemed sure that there was no way marauders could’ve found that cave.” She explained.

She had agreed with Nyoka’s theory. It had taken some serious navigation to get there and even with Nyoka’s help she still got turned around. She took another sip of her juice, hoping that maybe she’d get sleepy soon. She didn’t want to put her problems onto Felix, because that wasn’t his burden to bear. She knew that he enjoyed listening to her. He cared about her a lot and he was thrilled to hear about her thoughts...even if he didn’t get it. He was more than willing to help where he could.

“How do you feel about it? Now that you’re back and the job is done?” He questioned, leaning forward to be closer to her.

She looked down into her cup, swirling the juice around the sides and letting it splash back into the center. She didn’t want to look at him. That’s when he could really see through her. She felt so vulnerable.

“I feel lost,” She admitted; “I don’t know what I’m doing, Felix.”

He furrowed his brows, cradling his cup in both his hands with his cigarette between his index and middle finger;

“Do any of us really know what we’re doing? I thought you told us to take things step by step?” He asked.

“Well, yeah. I still believe that, but I mean me personally. I’ve been tasked with saving Halcyon from completely falling apart by some man that could be a total fraud for all I know. I feel so incompetent.” She confessed.

A blank stare crossed Felix’s face. Law bless him. He didn’t have the best range of vocabulary.

“I feel like I’m not good at anything I do.” She said defining the word she had just said.

Felix looked shocked at her words. That was crazy. She had been busting it the last several months trying to accomplish her bestowed goal. He had seen her at her best and at her worst. She took everything in stride and gave everything her best shot. She was friendly and kind to those who had good intentions and stone cold to those who took advantage of innocent people. She was a blend of warm and tough. She was the perfect person in his eyes.

“Are you kidding? [Y/N], you’re not at all incontinent.” He said using the wrong word.

She snorted at his horribly wrong use of the word. If only Felix knew what the word he had just said actually meant.

“Incompetent.” She corrected.

He chuckled. She could be such a smart ass.

“Right. Anyways, you’re great at what you do. I’ve seen it myself.” He proclaimed.

Her gaze averted downwards again, not feeling convinced.

“You’re just saying that because you like me.” She said half joking.

“Well, you’re not wrong. I do like you. A lot. But I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.” He said truthfully; “Baby, you’re one of the damn finest captains to ever run a ship.”

She finally looked at him, taking the cigarette from her lips;

“This isn’t even my ship, Felix. It was a total accident that I ended up on this thing.” She argued.

“It is your ship,” He retorted; “You were assigned to it. You made this ship your own. You gathered your own crew and your own life here. So, you’re wrong. This is your ship.”

He had a point. She did take over the ship without a second thought. She improvised. She was quick thinking on her feet. She overcame. Isn’t that what captains are supposed to do? She finished off her cigarette and the last of her juice. He had gotten through to her enough to make her feel more comfortable. The whole 70 year hibernation had done a number on her emotions.

“It’s my ship,” she repeated; “I am the captain.”

He smiled proudly;

“Damn right you are. I’m proud of you. I’m glad to be your right-hand man.” He beamed.

He kissed the back of her hand, guiding her out of her chair. He disposed of his own cigarette and he tore her away from the desk. Soon enough, she was in bed, curled up next to him. His arm was wrapped around her, keeping her warm and comfortable. He kissed her temple, rubbing her back gently. He wanted her to get a good night of sleep so she could enjoy their day off tomorrow.

“Goodnight, Felix.” She whispered just before falling asleep.

He rested his chin on her head, watching the stars outside the observatory window and into the endless space.

“Night, Captain.”

#felix millstone #the outer worlds #the outer worlds x reader #felix millstone x reader #felix millstone fanfiction #felix millstone x you #felix millstone x female captain #vicarfelix

[academla]

Guys, I made it!

Wow, it’s crazy to be back on here. I don’t know if anyone still follows me and/or remembers I exist, at this point. I came here because I finally let go of my domain name. It was a really difficult decision which felt like leaving a part of my life behind me and closing a chapter, but I don’t use this blog enough anymore to justify the cost. 

I created this blog over FIVE years ago. It’s associated with so many memories - primarily good, but also some of the shittiest times of my life. Regardless, my time in the studyblr community was pretty formative and I’m so glad I was able to experience it. I have zero regrets and never will.

Even though I’m leaving it behind indefinitely, my blog will forever be a part of me. I’m still getting emails and some comments on the fanfic that somehow stirred up controversy and drama in 2017, I actually sent The Academic Zine to one of my account leads at work the other day, and in my interview for my current job I talked a lot about how running my blog influenced and reflected who I am, my strengths as well as my weaknesses. I’m still in touch with the company that reached out to me about collaborating on a self-help book so you never know... maybe someday the stars will align and that will pan out!

This is more for my own closure than anything (so please forgive my rambling) but I know I have periodically come here and posted brief updates. If I recall correctly, they are usually also associated with empty promises/declarations of an inevitable return, which I can safely say is most likely not going to happen anytime soon.

Hard to believe I had just graduated high school when I first joined. To those who still remember me and my journey - trying to juggle mental health, school, and paying my way through college - here’s a final (for now... I’ll probably be on here in another 5 years when all the people I used to follow are like, getting married and having babies LOL) update on my achievements in the past year or so. I’m by no means perfect and I have a long but exciting road ahead of me, but put in the context of the person I was even 2 years ago, I would say with cautious optimism and pride that I did indeed make it.

Updates below, in case you aren’t reeling enough from the wall of text that just unexpectedly popped up on your dash...

- I graduated summa cum laude from the honors college in May 2020 with my psychology BS and the 4.0 GPA that my mental health sometimes seemed destined to make an impossible achievement. Even in the end I had to take an Incomplete for one of my courses because I was unfortunately in the midst of a relapse. This shit is real, guys. But even in spite of it, I was able to succeed.

- I paid for 6 out of all 8 semesters, as was my goal all along - through working my ass off and trying to be somewhat responsible with money. Donations I received through here were a massive help as well and I’ll be forever grateful for each and every person who contributed. I also applied for and received a few merit scholarships, which helped. I graduated with $15k of debt, which is less than half the national average. So, I did pretty well for myself.

- I’ve undergone some tough mental health challenges and hurdles. Some of the darkest times I’ve ever sustained, where I was scared for/of myself and was so much worse than I was when I was 15 yet had so fewer resources. Somehow I made it through - and will continue to. I made that pledge in 2015 and I still stand by it.

- I’m now working for a market research company. I knew by graduation that I didn’t want to be in academia, but I didn’t know if I had enough passion/commitment to a clinical career to undergo the financial, mental, and academic burden of a graduate program. I had a minor existential crisis over that all summer. Fortuitously, I emailed one of my favorite psychology professors from my freshman year and her son-in-law was able to refer me to this market research company. Everything came together and I love my job more than ANYTHING. Work is (most of the time) incredibly fun and something I look forward to every day. 

- EDITED TO ADD: I’m also living on my own in the city, hooray! I thought the day would never come, but luckily it did. It’s painfully expensive (because city) but for the amenities, location, and quality of the 1-bedroom apartment relative to many other options I looked at, it’s worth it. We can reassess whether or not I’m broke in August when the lease is up.

Listen, I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I’ve dealt with a lot of adversity and trauma, too. And at the same time I am fortunate: I was raised in a (mostly) loving household, I was afforded educational opportunities that not everyone is lucky enough to have, I was able to get the help and support I needed when I was unsafe. I won’t invalidate my own struggles because the hard work I’ve invested, the literal blood, sweat, and tears, all of that - that was real and valid. But I don’t take a single thing for granted.

I made it, and you can too. If you are a stranger wondering who the hell I am, you can go here if you want to be assaulted by a wall of text, or here for a more concise and recently updated synopsis.

That’s all I’ll say for now (did anyone miss my novel-length posts?) but I do still manage my email address ([email protected]) if for any reason anyone is looking to connect. 

Just for the hell of it, I’m also updating some of my pages. Catch you (I’m talking into a void right now, I know) on the flip side!

#studyblr #update

[graceslavenderhaze]

sunshine

{he’s so pretty, I physically couldn’t resist myself. here’s some fluff because I’m on edge about the season finale.}

synopsis: after coming back from being captive from the shadow man, connor and the reader have a hard time readjusting to life after the dark. 

reader notes: reader is non gender specific so anyone can read this and also luke’s sister this can be biological, adopted however you see fit! 

warning: anxiety, trauma, a little bit of angst if you squint but happy ending!

It was a bit traumatizing if you were honest, seeing a monster from something you thought only existed in nightmares first possess your boyfriend to torment you and your friends, then slowly pick your friends off one by one. Until it was only your brother and you left. After that it’s all fuzzy, it happened so fast. You barely had time to process anything before you both had acted on everything to save your friends and your own lives’. According to the internet it was trauma induced amnesia. That was the closest you’d get to closure. 

Other than venting to the other members of the midnight society. It wasn’t as if you could tell anyone. They’d barely believe you. Your brother and you tried to explain what had happened to your dad but he hardly believed you. You couldn’t blame him. If you hadn’t lived through it, you probably wouldn’t believe yourself. Due to everything that had happened in your quest to defeat the shadow man, you and all of your friends were grounded. Your parents suggesting that you’d needed time away from each other to realize your wrong doings and make up for said wrong doings. 

You felt trapped. It’d only been three hours of seemingly endless grounding sentence. Your phone, laptop, and remote to your tv had been taken so you’d been left to your own devices for pure entertainment. But you can only stare out the window so long before you want to scream. So you decided to redecorate your room. It was too dark in the corners, and even though the shadow man was gone it was still going to be a long time before you were able to sleep in a dark room comfortability again. Before any of you were able to be okay in the dark again. 

You looked back at the chaotic but somewhat comforting array of fairy lights you’d strung up around your room. Around the doorframe of your closet which was now open so the light could lightly shine into it, then in the parallel corner the lights ran to your desk. Another identical strand wrapped around the mold of the door of your bedroom, then over your bed, and then ending over your dresser. The light yet protective purple blaze felt enough. Enough to temporarily distract you from how bad things had been, in all the chaos you never let yourself break. Here in the comfort of your own room, the fairy lights glowing surrounding you, several tears began to make their way down your cheeks. 

Suddenly there’s a knock on the door, you clear your throat and then get up to open it. Expecting it to be your dad or your brother. There was no surprise when you saw your brother, holding both your phones. “ midnight society meeting, dad’s passed out.” he said handing your phone back to you. 

“who called it?” You croaked out, your voice slightly rasped. “who do you think?” he said rhetorically. A moment of silence washed over the two of you. The only person the two of you had been worrying about since they’d disappeared. Connor. You took a deep breath. 

“He’s Connor, the real Connor. We don’t have to be scared anymore, everything’s going to be alright.” Luke said. You knew he was the real Connor, you felt it. It was this indescribable feeling that you felt once you locked eyes on him. But was everything going to be alright?

“It’s not about Connor, it’s about everything else, i’ve never felt so scared in my life. I honestly have zero desire to listen to scary stories when my fucking life has felt like one recently.” You spilled out to your brother. He was slightly taken aback, that was the most you’d said in the past forty eight hours. After coming home you’d gone silent. Only muttering three word sentences at most. 

“So don’t listen to the scary stories but you have to talk to Connor, you two are miserable without each other. You balance each other out.” he said before giving you space and going back to his room. Once back in his room, Luke texted the group chat that excluded you to let them know that their plan was in motion. 

Lacing up your shoes, you shrugged on a jacket and then snuck out your window. Something you’d picked up from dating Connor. Then making your way to the boat dock where the midnight society meetings were held. When you got to the door you started to second guess why you came, this exact spot was where you watched two of your best friends and her brother disappear. Everything in you was screaming to leave. But something in you was whispering to go in. Pushing past your feelings and the doors you make your way upstairs of the boat dock. 

Looking exactly as it had been left the trap for the shadow man sat still and mirrors surrounding. Taking a deep breath you walked further into the room. Goosebumps rising over your skin, your favorite place had instantly caused your blood to run cold and now everything was different, like it or not. The stairs of the boat dock creaked, you whipped around. Relaxing instantly when you saw that it was just Connor. He made his way over to you. Once he was within arms reach, you launched yourself onto him, having zero desire to let go. Eventually, the hug broke apart. 

“There’s no midnight society meeting is there?” You asked. A shy smile spreads across Connors face as he shakes his head. “ I just didn’t know how else to break you out of your prison ward, plus it wasn’t hard to convince everyone else to help.” he said as he brushed a piece of your hair behind your ear, letting his hand caress your cheek. Leaning into his touch and holding onto his wrist gently. If you could relive a moment forever and ever. Any moment with Connor would suffice, but this one? It would be a shoe in. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” You didn’t have to be specific, you both knew what the it implied. Connor removed his hand from your cheek, he began to mindlessly wander the room. You knew he was dodging your question and you couldn’t blame him.

“Do you remember the last storm? My dad had been away for a fishing trip and your dad was at an away wrestling meet with Luke. So you came over to my house because you were terrified of being home alone in a storm.” Nostalgia washes over you as you start to remember that day,  as you started to walk over it had already started storming so by the time you showed up it looked like you had swam there. He’d given you some of his clothes so you didn’t get cold from being soaking wet. 

“Honestly, I would’ve been alright on my own. I just like being around you.” You admitted ready for him to make a joke or two. Turning around, He looks at you and smiles. Connor had a tendency to smile looking at you but who could blame him? 

“After a few episodes of whatever we were watching, we lost power and then when our flashlights were dead you said that we’d be fine because eventually the sun would come up, and the worst would be over.” You both had been waiting for sunshine for several hours before it shines through the windows of the Stevens house hold. Your phones discarded for emergency flashlight purposes but you were so wrapped up in each other you had forgotten they were still charged. 

“When i was in the dark, the only thing that kept me going was that. At first i thought it was him taunting me or something. But it was hope. You saying that eventually the sun would come up and the worst would be over.” Connor had stopping wandering, making his way back to you. Taking your hands in his.

“You’re my sunshine, thinking back to that night and every time i’ve ever been with you it just kept me going. I knew you were going to get me out of there. Cause let’s be honest you’re always fixing my messes.” Laughing at the last part your heart fluttered. 

“I love you.” You jumped straight off that cliff not knowing if you’d be caught or not.

“I love you too.” You were caught.

--

I am really happy with how this turned out! <3

#are you afraid of the dark #are you afraid of the dark imagine #ayaotd #connor stevens #connor stevens imagine #luke mccoy #gabby lewis #hanna romero #jai malyas #grace writes

[thevioletjones]

34 for prompt list thing! 💖

Thanks! 💜

Prompt 4: “I might never get another chance to say this.”

Now to War

Ian understood why Mickey was still in the closet. That was never really the issue. He was aware of the deeply scary, tyrannical nature of Mickey’s father, and how his horrible ways had left a lasting impression that was hard for him to shake. However, Ian had eventually started to feel a burden that he was frankly sick of bearing.

He’d never asked or expected Mickey to openly date him in front of his own family, but he would've appreciated some kind of quiet commitment where maybe they could at least let Ian’s family in on the secret (Lip already knew, but Mickey didn’t know he knew). Ian’s family had always been supportive when it came to Ian’s orientation. He knew they’d be supportive of Mickey too, even if they didn’t fully understand him, or even like him. They just wanted Ian to be happy.

But Mickey couldn’t even give him that much. He still fucked women to please his dad; still worked as his right-hand man doing illegal shit, instead of forging his own path; still stayed under that disgusting, oppressive thumb with no plans to ever get out from under it. Mickey still just didn’t believe that he could do or be anything different; had resigned himself to this depressing fate of constantly repressing himself for the rest of his life.

Ian just couldn’t stomach it anymore. Part of that was selfish, because yeah, he wanted to have a real relationship that wasn’t full of darkness and drama all the time. But the bigger part of it was about how deeply he cared for Mickey. He hated witnessing what he considered Mickey’s slow demise over a long period of time. If Ian couldn’t convince him that he deserved better, then what exactly was he doing sticking by Mickey’s side? He couldn’t just let himself be a doormat and get treated like shit just because he was in lo—no, he had to stop thinking of it that way.

What was done was done, ancient history style. The last time shit had fallen apart and Mickey had kowtowed to his dad, tossing Ian’s heart in a blender in the process, Ian had ended things. For good. Probably. He was as terrible at staying away from Mickey as Mickey was at staying away from him. He couldn’t even count how many times they’d renounced each other at this point, but he was doing what he could to make it stick.

That’s why Ian had to go and force things to be different now. He couldn’t risk just falling back into the same old toxic pattern with his wayward ex. There were so many good qualities in Mickey that no one else really got to see, but at the end of the day, they couldn’t outweigh the bad enough to strike a fair balance when it came to Ian.

So after much consideration of options, Ian had finally done what he’d always intended, professionally speaking, and signed up for the army.

It had been nearly 8 months now. Basic and AIT had gone well, considering all his years of ROTC, and now he was back home for a brief visit before being deployed for the first time. He was excited to finally be fulfilling his lifelong dream of being active military, but if he said he wasn’t nervous as shit too, he’d be lying. There was a definite fear there in the background of his mind, but he’d always kind of lived for danger in a way. He liked conquering it.

He supposed every soldier went off to war thinking they wouldn’t be one of the ones to die or get severely wounded, and maybe he was an idiot for believing it, but despite that inevitable fear, Ian truly knew he’d be okay. He trusted his instincts and reactions to volatile situations (thanks, Gallagher family trauma), so he had to trust himself. Maybe if he believed in the idea of coming out the other side of combat unscathed enough, he would manifest it.

Still, no matter his sixth sense, there was that feeling of wanting to make sure that he left everything in his life back home in a nice, neat place, just in case he was terribly wrong and never set foot back on American soil again. He needed all of his important relationships to be appropriately cemented. It was easy with his family (well, the siblings portion of it, at least), but Mickey was a whole different story.

Despite having broken it off months ago, the idea of leaving that whole thread hanging felt terrifying. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to feel closure with Mickey, but he had to try. There was a good chance he’d either get mocked, or socked in the face for making overtures, but he had to try anyway.

He felt resolute as he walked toward the Milkovich house, but once it came into view, his insides were consumed with nerves until his gut twisted with the weight of his apprehension.

What if Mickey wasn’t there? What if Terry and a bunch of Mickey’s idiot brothers were laying about? What if Mickey had done the unthinkable and married some random whore so he could pretend he was straight to please his dad? Ian would hope that either Lip or Mandy would’ve informed him of such a development, but since Ian liked to bury things and not talk about them, maybe they’d just decided not to bring it up?

He took a deep breath, muttered, “Fuck it,” to himself, and made his way to the front door. All he could do was try. If Mickey was gone, or had forgotten him, or didn’t care anymore, then he’d just have to accept it and move on.

He gulped thickly as he knocked, hoping that at least Mickey would be the one to answer, and that the ability to form words based on coherent thoughts would manifest as needed.

He steeled himself for whatever might happen, standing with his back straight as an arrow as the door wrenched open.

The moment those ice-blue eyes met his, every single thought flew out of Ian’s head, feeling breathless as blood rushed to his head. Without a doubt, he’d never seen Mickey so surprised before. His ex wasn’t the type to be at a loss for words, but his mouth hung open, and the full irises of his eyes were exposed, eyebrows raised high on his forehead.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood there studying each other in silence before Ian gained the courage to speak.

“Hi, Mick.”

“Gallagher.” Clear uncertainty permeated his tone.

“Hope it’s not a bad time. Just wanted to talk to you for a minute?”

Mickey crossed his arms and widened his stance, walls going back up. “Been a long fuckin’ time. What, you find out you got an STD or some shit? Come to do the whole benevolent legal disclosure thing?”

One corner of Ian’s mouth lifted in a sad attempt at amusement. “Nah, nothing like that. Can I come in? Or if someone’s home, we can sit out here I guess.”

Mickey scanned him from head to toe, so Ian took advantage and did the same. “Never known you to come over for a conversation before.”

Ian nodded. “Look, I won’t stay long. I really just have something I need to say. Then, if you never wanna see me again, you won’t. I’d just rather not do it awkwardly standing in the doorway if possible.”

Mickey shrugged and walked into the house, leaving Ian to follow. “Whatever, man. No one else is here right now. Terry’s in the slammer, so he won’t barge in or anything.”

“Cool,” said Ian, closing the door behind him.

Mickey sat down on the couch, but Ian had no idea whether to follow or not. Didn’t know how close to get. He hated feeling so weird around Mickey. In spite of everything, he’d always felt a strange sense of comfort and belonging when they were together. Like he could just be himself. Well, a somewhat ‘withholding of affection’ version of himself, but the rest felt natural.

“You gonna sit the fuck down and spit it out or what?” Mickey demanded.

“Right…” Ian took a seat on the sofa, leaving the entire middle cushion between them. “Uh… I don’t really know where to start now that I’m here.” He chuckled nervously.

“Jesus, Gallagher, you fuckin’ dying or somethin’?”

Ian grimaced, unable to tame that tiny pessimistic molecule inside himself. “No. Well, I hope not. Uh, I enlisted.” He looked up from his lap to gauge Mickey’s reaction, pleased to find his expression slipping into something more serious and less put-upon. “I’ve been away training. Shippin’ out tomorrow. Last night home and all that.”

Mickey exhaled raggedly. “Fuck, Ian. The fuck’d you do that for?”

“You know I’ve always wanted to, Mick. Childhood dream and all that. Finally found a reason to bite the bullet, so to speak.”

Mickey ran a shaky hand over his face, snickering derisively. “Wow. So you came here to tell me you’re runnin’ off to get shot, and that it’s pretty much my fault too? That’s real swell of you, Firecrotch. Real nice.”

Ian shook his head. “That’s not what I’m trying to say at all. It’s not a guilt-trip. I just needed you to know, in case…”

“In case what? You don't come back? You fuckin’ die?”

Ian nodded. “Yeah, pretty much.”

Mickey shot to his feet and started pacing, running his hands through his black hair, and worrying his pink lip. “So what? Now I'm s'posed to lay awake worryin’ about your stupid, army-go-lucky ass every night? That’s not a fuckin’ guilt-trip?”

“No, Mick, it’s not. It’s not really about you, but I couldn’t just leave without seein’ you again. I miss you, okay? I stand by what I did, leaving… still feels like I had to do it… but that doesn’t just turn the feelings off. I thought about you a lot while I was away.”

“Christ, Ian, what are you talkin’ about? Just stop.”

Ian stood up and walked toward Mickey, forcing him to meet his eye without laying a hand on him. “I won’t. Not this time. I might never get another chance to say this, and it would be great if you could just shut the fuck up for once in your life and listen. I don’t care if you have nothing to say to me in return, okay?”

Mickey rolled his eyes, looking very uncomfortable.

“There's a lotta reasons I left,” Ian continued, “but that doesn’t mean that I wanted to, as much as I needed to. You just never let me tell you what I was feeling. Which is fine. I always knew what you were about, and I know why you’re not out. I didn’t want to punish you, I just had to do it for me. Cuz I can’t live like that—”

“Why are you sayin’ all this shit to me now? It’s in the past.”

“I’m just trying to get to the point, fuck. Maybe I’m rambling. I just mean… I know you don’t wanna hear it, but I have to say it just once, and then I’ll go…” Ian took a deep breath, steadying himself for this ridiculous, sincere proclamation. “Mickey Milkovich, I love you. More than anything. And I’ll be thinkin’ about you while I’m over there. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m sure I’ll fade from your mind soon enough, anyway. But I'll remember you. The good stuff, you know? And I’m sorry that it didn’t work out, but now you know.”

Ian smiled dimly and put a hand on Mickey’s shoulder, giving it a short squeeze. “Maybe this was selfish of me,” he added. “It feels good to get it off my chest, though. I hope you get to live your life the way you should one day, Mick. Just, you know… bein’ yourself. Not pretending. Happy; or something close to it. You deserve it.”

Mickey was as still and silent as a statue, probably completely unequipped to deal with all the shit Ian just threw at him, so Ian patted him on the cheek, moving to walk past. Which was fine. He hadn’t expected much more. The point was that Ian had said what he thought and felt, and now he could take that knowledge with him. Hopefully one day, Mickey would get it. Maybe take Ian’s words to heart. Maybe break away and live his truth in some way. And Ian would find his own path too. He was doing what he could to search for it.

He only made it a couple steps, though, before he felt Mickey’s hand slide around his wrist, pulling him back.

“Don’t,” he heard Mickey say softly.

“Don’t what?”

“Just… don’t.”

And then Mickey’s lips were on his for the first time in months, and he couldn’t believe it was happening. His sense memory activated, and he put everything he had into the kiss, in case it was all he got.

It wasn’t all he got, though, because Mickey’s passion matched his own in that moment, and their mutual understanding of each other’s bodies took over. The clothes were coming off before they even made it to the bedroom.

Ian hadn’t expected goodbye sex on his last night in town, but he definitely wasn’t unhappy to receive it… or give it, as it were. What he expected even less than that was Mickey suddenly becoming verbal again.

He was letting him stay the night, and they were practically sharing a pillow, just staring at each other. Not something that had usually been on the menu when they were together.

“Why’d you have to come say all this shit now?” asked Mickey. “When you’re just gonna leave again, maybe for good this time?”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“That's not what I mean. I know you’re good at the army bullshit, alright? I’ve seen you shoot. Seen your nerd-ass training. But no one can control bullets and bombs in a war zone, Gallagher. Plus, even if all goes well, you might still settle down somewhere else, right? Go full army life and live full-time on a base somewhere.”

“Are you saying that if I were here you’d want things to be different?”

Mickey sighed, running a thumb over Ian’s cheek in a way that was almost gentle. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Mick—”

“It’s okay. You gotta do what you gotta do. But…”

“But what?”

“Since we’re talkin’ fuckin’ life and death and all that heavy shit… I should say… that I feel it too.”

“Feel what too?”

Mickey rolled his eyes and smacked Ian’s cheek. “You know what.”

“I really don’t,” said Ian, biting his lip with a mixture of anxiety and glee.

Mickey sighed very loudly, huffing and puffing like saying the actual words would kill him. “I…”

“You?”

“God, I hate you. But I love you. I love your stupid, freckly, gingery ass. And I don’t fuckin’ want you to go off to war, okay?”

Ian’s grin stretched across his entire face. “You mean it?”

“No, I'm fuckin’ lyin’, cuz admitting warm and fuzzies is my favorite sarcastic pastime, asshole.”

Ian leaned forward and kissed Mickey tenderly once more. “Will you wait for me?”

“Don’t make me punch you in the face now, dipshit.”

“Will you?”

“Fuck no!”

“Yeah you will.”

“I really won’t.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Fuck you, Gallagher.”

“I think we can squeeze a few more in.”

“You got the shittiest timing of anyone I’ve ever met.”

Ian shrugged. “Yeah, I know. Gallagher curse.”

“You stupid motherfucker. Better not die.”

When Ian got on the bus the next afternoon, he felt so much lighter. And the future was something that he looked forward to. Whatever came.

#ian x mickey #fanfic #gallavich #fanfiction #asks #answers

[marshunter06]

You’re always so supportive of self indulgent writing, so I thought I would prompt you 14 for Trentney 💙

This is why you’re my favorite 💜 I’m well aware no one else really cares for this ship, but I love them and I love you for prompting me! I could go on and on about why Trentney owns my heart some days, but I’ll just post the drabble instead 💕

14. “You don’t know what you do to me, do you?”

If someone told Courtney she would end up falling for her best friend, she would’ve laughed at them, bold of them to assume she even had a friend to begin with. Sure she was somewhat popular in school, her reputation precedes her, an overachiever who would do anything to win. That made her a lot of enemies, and just as many fake acquaintances who needed a passing grade. She pretty much gave up on having real friends that she could rely on until Total Drama. She found that even though it seemed as if these teens would clash given their different personalities and upbringings, their shared bond from the trauma they suffered at the hands of a sadistic television host was more than enough to call each other friends. Sure she was upset she never won any money and basically suffered through tortures no human being should ever go through, but at least it gave her a chance to connect with people her age. For the first time, she felt as if she had a family, and she even ended up with a boyfriend. Sadly all good things come to an end.

After the cheating fiasco that she would rather not think about ever, and another failed season of redemption, she relapsed into her most toxic self. She pushed everyone out even sweet Bridgette who’s always been on her side, she still regrets doing that. She probably would’ve lived a miserable life if she continued the path of self loathing and working too hard, but luckily she ended up bumping into Trent. She was of course being difficult at first, not wanting anything to do with anyone associated with the reality show, but then she realized he was the only one who could understand how she felt. They were both wronged by the same people and without a chance for closure.

Now three years into their friendship and one year of being roommates, Courtney couldn’t be more grateful to have him in her life. Together they mend some bridges that seemed burned, but were actually still standing. They made their peace with their exes and now everyone on the cast was back to being one big happy dysfunctional family. There’s still some awkward moments, but overall it was nice having friends again. She owes it all to Trent, without him, she would never have been able to find her way back to happiness. Which is why she absolutely cannot tell him that she’s developed a crush on him, it would ruin everything she’s worked so hard to get to. It’s better this way, she would rather keep him as her best friend than lose him just because she couldn’t contain her emotions. So what if she swoons whenever his green eyes are on her? Or the fact that he remembers all her likes and dislikes and likes to surprise her with her favorite meal? Or that his hugs feel like home especially after a long day at work? She couldn’t possibly tell him that the song he wrote for her still makes her cry when she hears it play on the radio. She's in way too deep, this is worse than she thought.

“Court? You alright there? You’ve been staring into space for the last five minutes. Did something happen at work?”

“Huh? Oh no, nothing. I was just zoning out. I’m tired of thinking.”

“Oh okay, does that mean you want me to decide where we order takeout from tonight? I’m not feeling up to cooking and you’ve been so busy.”

“I’m not too busy to make us dinner. Plus I know you’ve been stressed too, why don't I make your favorite meal for a change. We have all the ingredients here at home!”

She smiles at him as she attempts to walk away into the kitchen, but his expression changed almost immediately after hearing her offer. Normally he would smile back and thank her for being so kind, but something was different tonight, he seemed like he was holding himself back. Now she was concerned, maybe his latest collaborator was giving him trouble. She moves closer to him then gently touches his shoulder.

“Hey, are you alright?”

“You don’t know what you do to me, do you?”

She feels her breath catch at his admission, could it be? Did he actually feel the same way too? Her eyes widen, she doesn’t know what to say.

“This is probably a mistake, but I don’t think I can pretend I’m not in love with you anymore… Courtney, I’m crazy about you.”

“Trent…”

“I know it seems out of the blue, but I’ve felt this way for a long time. I’m sorry I hid it, I thought I could get over it, but the more I got to know you… the more I got to see how amazing you are. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same…”

She leans forward to capture his lips, silencing any doubts he had. She’s been dreaming of this for so long, it feels as if she’s waited her whole life for him. Her hand clutches his t-shirt while the other moves up to cup his face, his arms wrapped around her waist as he deepens the kiss. She couldn’t be more delighted, her happiness was clearly written on her face as they broke apart for air with their foreheads still touching.

“In case that wasn’t clear… I don’t wanna be just friends anymore.”

His laughter brings butterflies in her stomach as he leans in for another kiss. She closes her eyes in contentment. This, this was what happiness feels like, finally being with the one you’ve always loved.

#Trentney #prompt fill #A+ prompt choice btw #this was so fulfilling to write #thx C you’re the best

[et-lesailes]

missing linc // chapter ten

series masterlist

pairing: ceo!dad!steve x reader

word count: 2132

chapter summary: stella and peter come to steve’s place. steve and tiana get into yet another fight.

taglist: @patzammit​​, @lille-kattunge​​,  @rohaintahquil​​, @deidrashouseofpain​​, @peach-acid​​, @allsortsofinterests​​, @mcueveryday​​,  @cptn-sgrogers​​, @heyiamthatbitch​​, @sadella-adams​​,  @aletteredaffair​​​,  @isawritesstories​​, @knuffeltuff​​,  @societalfailure​​​, @brastrangled​​​, @anxiousstark​​​, @captainsbxbygirl​​​, @whimsicalatbest​​​,  @kind-sober-fullydressed​​​, @dreamlesswonder86​, @xoxabs88xox​, @evanstush​, @kelbabyblue​, @bucky-rrogers​

notes: SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I AM THE WORST I HOPE U ALL LIKE THIS CHAPTER

“Alright, Y/N said we could go over to the place she’s babysitting at for the weekend! You cool with that?”

Stella looked up from her phone, smiling at Peter innocently. “Of course. I can’t wait to meet the love of your life,” she teased, standing up and getting her bag. “You driving, or am I?” Peter immediately turned red, scoffing. “I’ll drive. But hey, now, you better not be like this tonight-- there’s nothing going on between Y/N and I, we’re just friends. Don’t make her feel weird or anything, alright?”

Trust me, Peter, if she knew the whole truth, this would barely make her feel anything.

“Yeah, yeah, I won’t.” The blonde laughed instead, picking up Peter’s keys and tossing them at him. “C’mon, lover boy, let’s go.”

She was not proud of how she had come to learn of you. 

There was a reason she had come here, and of course, the second she had arrived, she had decided to pay a visit to her dear sister’s home. Well, not inside, anyways. She couldn’t help but be nosy, and she justified it by telling herself she had every right to know where her son was staying. It was easy to get the address from her parents; she had simply told them that she wanted to make amends with Tiana and surprise her with a visit-- this ensured they wouldn’t tell her. 

When she was casually driving by the home, she had seen your car. She parked on the other side of the street, keeping an eye on the house. It hadn’t been long before you came outside holding Linc in one arm with a bottle of bubbles in the other hand, the boy laughing and clapping excitedly for you to blow them. Her heart was racing as she stared at her baby. She had seen photos of him on Tiana’s Facebook, she had forced herself to become desensitized to the fact that he was hers and belonged to someone else-- or so she thought. As she gazed at him in real life and could see his happy demeanor and shining personality, she almost wanted to cry.

She stayed low as she watched you play with him. It was obvious to see how much he loved you. He was laughing the entire time, running around you in circles on his little toddler legs, hugging your own leg every ten seconds in bursts of affection. 

The more she watched you play and the more she looked at the large estate, she felt herself getting more and more curious. What was Linc like? Did he take after her at all? Or was he more like his father? He seemed bright and happy, but now that she was here, she wanted to know more. She just wanted one chance to see him in person… that would be enough, right?

She knew Tiana would be wary. Perhaps not even let her see him at all. And so she needed another way in. Just to quench her curiosity, that was all. She hadn’t been able to come up with this other way, however, until she had seen you come to the bar with Peter. When she noticed you leave after seeing Tiana, she knew something was going on. What that was, she did not know, and although she had her suspicions, she didn’t care. 

She only cared about her son. 

They arrived at the doorstep about fifteen minutes later, her light brown eyes studying the huge house. Did Tiana like living here? Were she and Steve truly happy in this house? Peter clucked his tongue beside her, his eyes wide with amazement. “Damn. Y/N must be getting paid a shit ton, these people seem loaded.” Stella forced a laugh, nodding her head. “Yeah, seems like a pretty good set up.” She sounded normal, but her heart was pounding. Would you answer the door with Linc in your arms? 

She couldn’t help but feel disappointed when you came empty handed. 

“Hey guys!” you greeted with a smile. “You must be Stella. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Y/N.”

She smiled nonetheless, waving cutely as she stepped inside. “So good to finally meet you, girl! Peter talks about you a lot.” Peter blinked and shot her a look, laughing somewhat nervously. “I, ah, would say I talk about you a normal amount. Nothing weird.” You raised a brow but laughed, nudging him lightly. “Uhhuh. Okay, c’mon, you guys gotta see this home theater. It’s sick.”

Stella couldn’t help but look around as you led them down the hallway, barely nibbling on her lip. Where was her son? Was he asleep? You and Peter were lightly conversing and so she cleared her throat when there was a pause, trying to sound like she was casually speaking. “So, Peter told me you were babysitting? Where is the baby?” She smiled, adding, “I absolutely love kids.” 

“Oh, he fell asleep- but here, I’ll show you some pictures!” She saw the bright smile on your face at the mere mention of him. She simultaneously felt touched and threatened. You took out your phone and went to your photos, swiping through a few images- some just of Linc laughing and smiling, some selfies of the two of you with cute Snapchat filters, even a video of Linc “singing” Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. “Wow.” She breathed out, unable to take her eyes off of him. “He’s perfect.”

“I know right?” you replied obliviously, smile still wide as you sighed. “He’s the cutest thing. I swear, I love him like my own son.” You laughed playfully, and Stella felt a pang in her heart. “So what movie do you guys want to watch?” you asked once you entered the room, and Stella watched as you and Peter perused the collection. 

“Can I use the bathroom real quick?” she suddenly asked, and you looked over and nodded with a smile. “Yeah, it’s right down the hall going back towards the front door,  first door on the left.” She nodded, slipping out of the room and looking back towards you and Peter before quietly making her way to the staircase instead. 

Steve sighed as he leaned back in the plush bed, eyes drifting towards his phone on the nightstand. All he wanted to do was FaceTime you, call you, even text you. He felt like a damn high schooler with a crush all over again. Ever since he and Tiana had arrived at the cabin that day, all he could think about was the kiss the two of you shared. 

At the same time, he was trying to make good on his promise. Just one last weekend with Tiana. A chance to finally get some closure and move on. Surprisingly, the day had been pretty decent. No fighting, no screaming, no tears, no anger- things actually felt… normal. She actually opened up to him over a few glasses of wine, even apologizing for her behavior and explaining where her frustration had come from. She acknowledged that everything had been her fault. That she should have learned how to be transparent sooner. And he appreciated it. He forgave her, and they were able to talk and laugh about the things they used to. 

Still, he couldn’t feel the same way he used to about her. While he was glad he and Tiana had made amends, it all felt incredibly platonic to him. He couldn’t help but wish you were there with him, curled up under his arm in this large bed, making out like a couple of teenagers…

“Hey Steve.” He looked up, blue eyes immediately widening. There stood Tiana wearing nothing but a lacy black slip, biting on her lip as she stood in the doorway of the bathroom after her shower. “Uh… hey.” He greeted, rubbing the back of his neck. “You look great, but what’s that all for?” She looked at him hopefully, coming back towards the bed and slowly crawling onto it. “Do you not like it…? We had such a good day today, and I just wanted to end it with something even more amazing…”

Steve blinked as she placed a hand on his bare chest, leaning down to kiss him. He froze. It took him a few moments, but he finally snapped out of it, gently placing his hands on her shoulders to stop her. “Tiana,” he mumbled softly, and she blinked as she pulled back, looking down at him- she was clearly hurt. “What, Steve? I thought things were going well… you… you really don’t want this?” He sighed, sitting up and running his fingers through his blond hair. “Tiana, you know that’s not why we came here. I told you that I wanted a divorce after this, but I also don’t want us to hate each other-- I thought we came here to just, you know… neatly wrap things up. Get closure. Peace.” Tiana looked at him incredulously, scoffing as she moved back to sit on her knees. “You really… you really don’t want to even try? Am I that horrible of a person?” Steve blinked, frowning as he shook his head. “No, Tiana, that’s not what I’m trying to say, I just don’t think we’re-”

“This is all because of Y/N, isn’t it? What, are you already sleeping with her? Are you seeing each other behind my back?” Tiana demanded, suddenly standing up and going over to her purse. Steve widened his eyes. “No, God, no, Ti- what the hell are you doing? Don’t fucking call her right now, don’t do this when she’s literally taking care of Linc for us!” He watched as his wife pulled her phone out, but she didn’t appear to be calling anyone. He watched curiously as she tapped on her touch screen a few times, seeing her suddenly look intense and focused. “What are you looking at?”

“O-oh, oh my god,” the woman muttered; Steve could practically see her turn pale. He immediately sat up. “What? What is it, is something wrong with Linc?” He immediately got out of bed, going to her side. His eyes rounded at the sight upon the phone screen. She was watching a live feed of Linc’s room, and there appeared to be a blonde girl peeking over his crib. “That’s Stella, Steve! That’s-- how-- how the fuck did she get into our son’s bedroom?!” Steve stared in shock before quickly shaking his head, grabbing Tiana’s phone from her hand. “When… when the fuck did you put a camera in there? Did you tell Y/N there would be a camera?”

“Is that seriously what you’re worried about right now, you fucking asshole?!” Tiana practically screamed, lunging for the phone. “How can you be more concerned about Y/N when this is happening right now? What if our son is in danger?! H-how did she even get inside?!”

“Tiana!” Steve grabbed her shoulders, staring down at her with heavy breaths. “Tiana, listen to me. I need you to calm down. Stella is a twenty-three year old girl. She’s not going to hurt Linc, okay? I… I told Y/N she could have friends over. Maybe Stella happens to be one of them. You need to take a breath, nothing is going to-”

“How do you know, Steve?! What if she’s back here to take him away from us? I- I can’t-- I can’t lose… you and…”

She trailed off into tears, and Steve finally understood. She was terrified. She was scared of losing the people closest to her. Her husband and her son, both at the same time. He sighed deeply, suddenly wrapping his arms around her and hugging her. “We won’t let that happen, Ti. We’ll talk to Stella. We’ll figure this out. But she will not take Linc from us, alright?” He pulled back and looked down at her somewhat sternly. “But putting a camera in the room without at least telling Y/N was wrong. Have you… have you been spying on her? Ever since we got here?”

“Oh, please, Steve, I’m just making sure our baby’s alright, okay? I-it has nothing to do with her!”

He sighed, rubbing his temples. 

“I’m going to sleep in the other bedroom, Tiana. You should get some sleep too. We’re going to go back tomorrow morning and find out what the hell is happening. But for now, I don’t want you contacting Y/N, do you understand? Whatever Stella’s up to, I know she isn’t going to do anything to Linc-- especially not with Y/N in the house watching him.” 

Tiana frowned deeply but slowly sat on the bed, looking away.

“Goodnight, Steve.” Her voice was ice cold, and the CEO couldn’t help but let out another soft sigh.

“Goodnight, Tiana.”

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers angst #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers au #steve rogers x you #ml

[cogentranting]

Some Thoughts on Kevin, Sophie, Symbols, and the Mysterious  Fiancée  

Episode 4x12 was a really interesting addition to the Kevin/Sophie story because I think there are multiple ways to interpret it, and I think how you interpret it depends on which flashback and corresponding symbol you take to be most important. 

In the present day, you have Kevin going to Sophie’s mom’s funeral. But the greater significance of this is left mostly ambiguous. Is this an episode about a rekindling romance? About finding closure? Something else? But then you also have three flashbacks: Kevin’s childhood looking for the mobile, Kevin and Sophie the night Jack died, and Kevin and Sophie visiting town for Rebecca’s birthday. 

Young Kevin and the Sheep Mobile  This plot line is seemingly the least connected. It’s all about a very young Kevin not being able to sheep without his sheep mobile, while the other three focus on the deaths of parents and on Kevin and Sophie’s relationship.  The key point of connection seems to be Jack’s line to Kevin at the end of arc, about how the sheep are gone, but he can sleep with the stuffed tiger because “just because you loved something once doesn’t mean you can’t love something new”.  Applied to the main story line, it seems that Sophie is sheep mobile, and the message is that even though Kevin loved her and that was real and important, he can’t have her back and he has to find someone new to love. If you interpret the episode by this flashback and symbol, it’s about how Kevin needs to move on and find a new love, saying that him falling for someone new does not diminish what he felt for Sophie. 

Teen Kevin and Good Will Hunting This one, which shows Kevin and Sophie during the night leading up to Jack’s death (what Kevin calls the last night of his childhood) has the clear connection to the present story by being related to the death of his father, just as the present is about the death of Sophie’s mother. But all of it takes place before Kevin learns about Jack’s death. So even though that forms the point of connection, and it draws the parallel between them helping each other through those events, that’s not really what it’s about. It’s more about Good Will Hunting, which is teased early in the episode in the present and then ambiguously referenced several times throughout, before reaching a resolution back in the present.  In this symbol, Kevin and Sophie watched Good Will Hunting together but left before the end of the movie, and they both agreed to never watch the ending, instead making it a game between them to come with different endings of their own because the real ending could never be better than what they come up with. So the game demonstrates their ongoing connection and their history together. But in the end of the episode they watch the ending together and agree that the actual ending is better than anything they could have come up with.  So it could be that the ending of the movie symbolizes that, even though they both never really wanted to close the door on this picture of their relationship, when they do they discover something even better- moving on from each other could open them up to an ending better than what they could have imagined with each other.  OR it might not be that straightforward of a symbol. Because the movie is also linked to as Kevin put it, the last day of his childhood, and they watch the ending in the place where he found out that Jack died. He uses that to talk to Sophie about her going back to the coffee shop where she learned about her mom. So it could be that watching the ending of the movie, represents not trying to stay locked in the past before the bad things happened, but being willing to take the scary step of healing and moving forward. If that is more of the interpretation, then it could be about Kevin and Sophie moving on from each other, or it could be about letting go of the old stages of who they were together in order to embrace a new ending together, different from the ones they imagined for so long, but maybe better. 

Young Adult Kevin and the Ring  Then there’s the story of Kevin asking Claire for her mother’s ring to give to Sophie.  There are two main takeaways in this story. One is Claire’s relationship to Kevin. The point they emphasized was that Claire always believed in Kevin, always believed he’d make it, always told him to never settle. The second is the story of the ring, that Claire’s father bought it for her mother, but her mother refused to take it until he got back from the war, telling him to use it as a reason to come back to her, a symbol of hope. It’s a story about waiting. And a story about hope. But Claire won’t give Kevin the ring because the relationship is new and they’re young: they haven’t had to wait for each other, they haven’t had to persevere or hold on to hope. They haven’t been tested. Reflecting back from the present, Kevin believes that Claire wouldn’t give him the ring because she knew he’d mess things up with Sophie. And maybe she did, but overall that wasn’t the impression we were given of Claire’s relationship with Kevin. It was about her telling him to keep on going because one day he’d get there, and one day he’d have the thing he was aiming. It was about Claire believing in Kevin. So it would seem strange to end that arc on a note of “but she knew he’d mess up this thing and not be able to repair it”.  So at the end of the flashback, Kevin does not get the ring, and at the end of the present story line Kevin and Sophie go their separate ways (as they should, her cheating on/leaving her fiance with him because of the way grief heightened her emotions would not have been good, no matter who you want to be together, and Kevin even warned her off any action with him by pointing out the effect grief can have on people). So Sophie is still with her fiance and Kevin slept with Madison.  But, also we ended Sophie’s scenes with her staring at her grandmother’s ring. The ring she’s always wanted and never got. By my estimation, her fiance can’t be the one to give her the ring as resolution to that story. There’s a couple reasons for this. First, he’s not a character. He’s never even really had any lines. I can’t think of this name. If he were to give Sophie the ring, we would never see that happen. It would have to happen off screen and maybe be communicated to Kevin at some point after the fact. Second, a big point is made about how he didn’t really know Claire. And the emphasis with the ring was that it was Claire’s to give to someone for Sophie. So her intentions before dying could be honored in giving the ring, but she didn’t know the fiance and so he can’t be in keeping with Claire’s intentions and he can’t fully appreciate the import of the ring. Third, by all accounts that we’ve seen, Sophie and her fiance have never had to wait for each other in any real sense. They can’t live out what the ring represents. So if the fiance can’t give the ring to Sophie in a meaningful way, and this really is the end for Kevin and Sophie, then the ring was introduced and ends within the same episode with the point just being that this thing that meant so much to Sophie, she never gets. Which is not a satisfying conclusion, especially given that, Sophie didn’t do anything wrong to mess up her relationship with Kevin.  But, the ring is about waiting and hope. So if the ring is meant to symbolize two people willing to wait for each other and have hope that they’ll find a way to be together again, then that would fit really well with a story line about Kevin and Sophie finding their way back together again. Sophie looking at the ring again would be a sign to the audience, that her story is not over. It would become about Kevin and Sophie waiting for many years in order for Kevin to finally be the person that she needs him to be. And Kevin even addresses that idea when he talks to Claire’s grave– that he feels like he’s finally ready to be with Sophie, he just missed his chance. It would contrast with the young impatient Kevin who married Sophie on an impulse. It would contrast with the version of Kevin he described to Madison, who’s never broken up with because he always cuts and runs first. And in making these contrasts would emphasize Kevin’s growth as he comes to deserve the ring. And it would fit with the overall theme of Claire’s relationship to Kevin– she believed that he would make it eventually, even if she thought he might mess up along the way, and she didn’t want him to settle, she just wanted him to wait.  So the way I see it, the ring represents that all Kevin and Sophie need is a little bit of time and they will find their way back together. 

The Other Love Interests If you lean more toward one of the first two symbols and towards an interpretation that this episode is about Kevin and Sophie finding closure and moving on to better endings and new loves, then that leaves the question: who is Kevin’s fiancee?  Zoe seems pretty clearly out of the running, because she doesn’t want children (and I don’t think they should change that) and because Kevin’s child in the flashforward was not mixed race. Cassidy is still a possibility, but her story to this point has been directed toward her fixing her relationship with her husband, not finding new love. And some cast indications seem to mean that she’s not returning. Lizzy is married, made a really poor first impression, and the actress says that the character “won’t return anytime soon”.  Of the characters we’ve already met, that leaves Madison, who of course is the most prominent at the moment because the episode ends with her and Kevin sleeping together. Does this action indicate that they are the new main pairing? I’m not convinced.  For one thing, up until this point Madison’s primary role has always been comic relief. Though you’re meant to like her and at times sympathize with her highs and lows, and she has had some serious moments, she is still generally portrayed as a somewhat ridiculous character, a little clueless, a little over the top. Even some of her serious moments (like the points where she and Kate form a true connection) to some degree ask you to laugh at Madison (though not all do, as was pointed out to me in regards to a story line I forgot). This seems unlikely to be the character they choose as Kevin’s (presumably) endgame romance (For those of you thinking ‘well Toby is a comic character and Kate married him– in their comedic relief moments, you’re asked to laugh with Toby, you’re asked to laugh at Madison). It wouldn’t be impossible for them to shift Madison into being a character you could take more seriously, but I would expect that to come before pushing her and Kevin together, and no such lead up happened. Even if they were to do it now, there are only six episodes left in the season (and we’re supposed to have our fiancee answer by then), which isn’t a lot of time left to build up Madison’s character as well as her relationship with Kevin to the point where there could be a proposal (unless we’re looking at more of a… shotgun wedding).  Then there’s the actual nature of Kevin and Madison’s interaction in 4x12. We do see Kevin and Madison share a nice moment of relating to and encouraging one another. But the actual progression of that into more than just a friendly interaction between a man and his sister’s friend into a hookup is completely skipped over. If this is the beginning of the next big romance, they would seem like a crucial progression.  And then there’s Kevin’s reaction to the hookup. When he talks to Randall he talks about “being in the middle of a whole thing” and it being “a hell of a week” and when they get Kate on the call they end up chanting “Sad three” and all deciding to get away for a while and go to the cabin. Which overall doesn’t indicate a very positive reaction to what happened with Madison, especially given that it’s paralleled with Randall’s anxiety pushing him toward a panic attack, and Kate’s marriage falling apart.  We can also apply Kevin’s words to Sophie to this situation. He warns her that she may have latched onto him at the funeral because grief makes you grab on to whatever’s near. Kevin at the end of the episode is grieving, partly for Claire who was important to him, and partly for his lost relationship with Sophie, which he feels is currently hopeless.  So it seems, more than him and Madison forming a meaningful connection over their mostly innocuous break-ups conversation, that he was in pain and grabbed on to the first thing that was near. 

Conclusion 4x12 was meant to leave Kevin’s future ambiguous, to send mixed signals and keep you guessing. However, I’m inclined to think that it did more to open doors with Sophie than to close them. I don’t see them leaving that character behind yet, especially because they just introduced Claire and the ring as a new aspect of it, and because the cheating and the divorce have still not been explored, which is one of the biggest holes left in the This Is Us timeline.  I think that while they threw out some stories about closure and moving on, the most prominent symbol in the episode was the ring, and that was left unresolved, pointing more toward a reunion for Kevin and Sophie than away from it.  What’s more, they’ve promised answers about who the fiancee is by the end of the season (or the very beginning of next season, but I think it was this season). They’re rapidly running out of time. The show has dedicated a lot of time to the Kevin/Sophie relationship. They dedicated a lot of time to the Kevin/Zoe relationship. Even Kevin/Cassidy and Kevin/Sloane got a fair amount of development. If Madison (or a new character) is Kevin’s fiancee then it seems strange to have Kevin end up married to and having a kid with someone whose relationship with him got significantly less development than any other relationship of his has gotten. The only way I see that making sense is if the relationship itself is short lived and is significant mainly for giving Kevin his son. That’s possible but a large part of Kevin’s motivations have been about him wanting to be in love and have a wife, so I don’t see them teasing a fiancee for half a season and then having him end up single. Not because a kid can’t be a satisfying family life on its own, but because for four seasons we’ve been shown that Kevin wants a wife.  I could see the story going a number of ways, but if I had to guess, I’d say that 4x12 is the beginning of Sophie and Kevin getting back together. 

#this is us #kevin pearson #kevin x sophie #i did not intend for this to be this long #sorry

[sourwolfstories]

Hi! I know you're probably slammed with requests but i was wondering if you could rec some long fics without smut or skipable unimportant smut scenes? I'm sex repulsed and it's surprising difficult to find fics that don't make me uncomfortable

Okay so these are all at least 20 or 30 thousand words long each and are all either rated general audience or teen and up and I made sure to go through all of them so they shouldn’t have any smut or sex but if I did miss anything please let me know. Hope you enjoy!

Ghosts In The Suburbs by KaytiKazoo

Stiles gets cursed by a witch and can see dead people.

Here’s to the Static by matildajones

Stiles spends most of his college break in a coffee house where he stares after Derek Hale. For some reason, Stiles is unaware of the fact he’s quite the musician, and Derek amuses himself at Stiles’ obliviousness.

Cupboard Love by mklutz

He’s carefully balancing the sandwiches and the two biggest tupperware containers he could find that both had functioning lids when the front door opens and he almost drops everything right there in front of the stupid fountain.

If that’s Derek Hale, he’s definitely not a mountain man.

Strangers Like Me by Alphaboner

“Stay back! Don’t come..don’t come any closer! Please don’t! Wh..what are you doing?” he let out a little laugh when Derek started to play with his toes “Ah-haha, no, please, don’t, that tickles!” Derek’s hand traveled from Stiles’ toes to his leg “No, get off, get off!” …to his belt “GET OFF!” he kicked Derek in the face, leaving him confused and aching, looking at Stiles with a scowl.

Get Back Up by Hepzheba

After taking the blame for his so-called friend Jackson and his stupid pot, Stiles is forced to work for the Hales at their horse ranch the summer before his last year in high school. At first he absolutely hates it but he comes to realize that there is actually is something fun about this ranch thing and that horses are more likable and complicated than he’d previously thought. He also comes to realize that it’s not only the horses that are interesting; there’s also Derek Hale.

Scowl and Sarcasm by dr_girlfriend

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single alpha in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a mate.

Whether or not Derek Hale felt that way was hardly a concern to the neighborhood — the very fact of his arrival was enough that the surrounding families seemed to consider him the rightful property of one or another of their eligible sons and daughters. That was, of course, before they met the man.

Only You, Sterek by im2old4thisotp

Derek gets the name of his soulmate off a Ouija board when he is ten. He’s obsessed with finding them, but then his life irrevocably changes. He erases the name from his life and determines to live free of those stupid words, “fate” and “destiny”.

But on the eve of his wedding, he gets a phone call that will change the course of his life forever, and show him that maybe destiny does have a hold on him, after all.

Or, the Sterek rewrite of the movie “Only You” that you never knew you wanted.

sorry about the elbows, sorry we lived here. by dreamer_of_dreams

“You’re doing it again, Derek. You’re running away. I know, alright? I’ve always known… You looked at him the way I wished you’d look at me. You came close some days, when you’re folding my tank tops and we’re talking about small, insignificant things. And I thought that was enough for a while. But it was plain to see, you were sitting around, waiting for him to call you home. He never did and you just carried on.”

“I wasn’t really waiting for him to call. I knew he wouldn’t. I don’t know how you got that impression.”

“Hmmm…Maybe because when we both thought you were dying, I leant over and kissed you… and you whispered his name.”

Just the Same by ericaismeg

Something is seriously up with the captain of the lacrosse team. There’s just no way Derek Hale is human.***“I was wondering if you’re even human. You move so quickly. I mean, it’s ridiculously fast. No human should be able to move that fast, y'know? It’s unfair for us. I mean, it’s obvious you work out, and I don’t, so that could be why, but like…I was just wondering if you were human, that’s all.”

“Stop talking, Stilinski, or I'll—”

“Put me on the bench all season?” Stiles asks knowing full well that Derek Hale can’t threaten him with shit.

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Halevetica

What if all the crushes you ever had found out how you felt about them… all at once?

Stiles Stilinski keeps his love letters in a box his mother gave him. They aren’t love letters that anyone else wrote for him; these are ones he’s written. One for every boy he’s ever loved-five in all. When he writes, he pours out his heart and soul and says all the things he would never say in real life, because his letters are for his eyes only. Until the day his secret letters are mailed, and suddenly, Stiles’ love life goes from imaginary to out of control.

If I Followed You Home by tryslora

Stiles is living on his own in New York when he sees the unthinkable: one woman pushes another onto the tracks just before a subway comes. With Scott not moving in for several days, he is on his own with his grief and horror, and he decides to find closure by attending the dead woman’s funeral where he discovers that (1) the guy he’s been crushing on is the dead woman’s brother, and (2) her family somewhat adopts him, and (3) the woman who killed her might just want to kill him now. Life just got complicated.

Notes:

Wolf Pack: Beacon Original by Beerwolves, fearfrost1211

When his father landed the Deputy Chief of police position in Beacon Hills, Stiles moved to his new town gladly, embracing the chance of a fresh start. What he didn’t expect was to find himself hopelessly drawn to the gruff Vice President of the local motorcycle gang, the Wolf Pack.Derek Hale, resident bad boy of Beacon Hills, spent his time helping his sister lead the Wolf Pack and working on motorcycles at his family’s automotive garage. Then, one hot summer afternoon a bright-eyed boy walked into his life and turned his world upside down.

There’s No Escape for the Potato Man by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

“Who is this? Where’s Erica?”

“Wrong number, asshole!”

“Stop calling me an asshole,” the man on the other end snapped aggressively.

Stiles could understand. He’d be pretty aggressive too if he’d murdered someone and texted a wrong number to ask for help burying the body. This guy obviously failed How To Be a Serial Killer 101.

“What kind of idiot thinks I murdered someone?”

“The kind of idiot who got your text messages, you fucking dumbass!” he retorted hotly. “Maybe double check your contacts before sending a random stranger details on your nefarious plans to dispose of a freshly cut up body!”

“What?!” the guy on the other end demanded, crossed between horrendously confused and livid.

home isn’t a place by Spikedluv

Ithaca, New York is known as a sanctuary within the supernatural community, and Cornell University is where creatures such as Kitsune and Selkies can safely attend college. Though Stiles doesn’t think he’s anything special (despite having a ‘spark’, whatever that is), he attends on Satomi’s recommendation; he wants to learn everything he can about the supernatural world so he can return to Beacon Hills and help Scott.

The last person Stiles expects to run into at Cornell is Derek Hale. Derek is gruff and grumpy, but despite that Stiles is drawn to him. When someone begins murdering supernatural students Laura Hale takes Stiles under her wing. Between attending class, hanging out with Kira, adopting a dog, and keeping score for the baseball team, Stiles investigates the deaths to figure out who’s killing his fellow students before he ends up a victim himself.

Through it all, Stiles learns the real meaning of ‘home’.

SuperWing, Stucky and SlaDick, Oh My! by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

“Well,” Nightwing said with an awkward laugh, “this is embarrassing. You are definitely not the Superman I was expecting.”

“You mean I almost missed out on having Nightwing leap into my waiting arms?” Derek asked teasingly. He couldn’t help it, the guy was adorable, and while he wasn’t exactly light, he already knew it was all muscle. This guy definitely worked out.

Nightwing let out a loud, boisterous laugh that had people around them turn to look, but he just grinned down at Derek before speaking.

“In that case, didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” He waggled his eyebrows and Derek let out a small huff of a laugh. “I should probably, uh—get down.”

“Probably.”

Thanks for Thumper, But I Prefer Cheeseburgers by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

The wolf’s head whipped around so fast, Stiles felt like he was watching The Exorcist.

Stiles wondered if he could just stand still enough to make the wolf think he was a tree. A very bright red and jean-clad tree. He doubted it, but one could hope.

He knew it was a lost cause when the wolf turned fully, lips pulled back from its sharp teeth—so very sharp, good fucking Lord!—and began walking towards Stiles.

“I didn’t see anything!” Stiles shouted, both hands out in front of himself and sweat instantly breaking out across his skin. “I swear to you! I didn’t see anything! I didn’t see anything! I won’t tell anyone! I won’t! I’ll keep this to myself, until the day I die! I promise! I promise!”

An Unexpected Familiar by BabyWeWillRise

Homework over break sucks, right? Harris is at it again with making Stiles’ life horrible by giving him an essay over Christmas break and Stiles could not be anymore displeased.

Except…this stupid assignment leads him to something he didn’t think he was missing.

Or…

After his mother died when he was eight, Stiles (and his father) ran away from reality without looking back.

Now, ten years later, when the eighteen year old runs into a familiar face, he’s thrown back into a life he had completely forgotten about and is welcomed with open and loving arms.

To say he’s freaking out would be an understatement.

#answered #anonymous #sterek #sterek fic rec #sterek fanfic #sterek fanfiction #fic rec list

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, BRIDGET! You’ve been accepted for the role of HERMIA. Admin Julie: Bridget, your application for Hazel was, in short, incredible. Nothing felt unfinished out or out of place -- every word you wrote felt as though it just made sense. It was a true, genuinely pleasure to read; your in-character interview was especially heartrending, and honestly, listening to Hazel speak felt quite a lot like coming home and sitting down with an old friend over a nice cup of tea, or coffee, which is a welcome relief from the harshness that Verona can often personify if you let yourself get too drawn in to the chaos and the angst and the pain. Hazel is utterly human in an incredible way, and you hit that nail right on the head. We cannot wait to see her on the dashboard, and we cannot wait to have you with us. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Bridget Age | Twenty-two Preferred Pronouns | She/they Activity Level | I am currently in a fugue state when it comes to both the perception of myself and of time, so while I will intend to be online everyday, sometimes a few days will slip through the cracks of my conscious and then I’ll realize I’ve been MIA and do my best to do about 123432 replies in an hour to play catch-up. That said, I can guarantee at least four days a week being online for at least an hour if not more. Timezone | EST How did you find the rp?  | I feel like I’ve known this RP for years but honestly I’ve been capital-I Intimidated by it, but I was talking to Kay and figured I was finally willing to take the plunge Current/Past RP Accounts | https://rvncorns.tumblr.com/ https://birdieklein.tumblr.com/

IN CHARACTER

Character | Hermia ; Hazel Ruth Accardi

Hazel ; english: the hazelnut tree Ruth ; biblical, hebrew: compassionate friend Accardi ; a family who believes in God above all, following his teachings in all motions of their life

What drew you to this character? |

As mentioned above, I’ve seen this roleplay for years, and I have had friends be a part of it. In the depths of my Google Drive, I have half-started apps that I never finished due to the muse never being quite there, or for fear of submitting and facing competition itself. I’ve perused the masterlist every so often, but no one has quite piqued my interest quite like Hazel.

I think I knew I had to app them after reading the line, “ only a foolish saint believed that they could walk through a city of such sin with unblemished hands and clean soles of feet. ” It was so visceral, and it really made me start imagining this character further than what the biography offered. I could only picture her having found this solid identity, certainly marked by the world, but mostly unstained. I couldn’t help but think that this — being in Verona, that is — is going to change her. She might not realize it, She might not want to believe it, but it will happen slowly and surely.

I do love characters that have crises with identity. There is something soothing in being sure of yourself and who you are, and I do believe that fuels Hazel. She fought and struggled to find herself, and now she will begin to struggle and fight to keep herself as she is, as who she knows herself to become.

There’s room for both growth and regression within Hazel, and I genuinely would love to explore it.

I also was captured by her love and fervid passion for religion. As someone who has personally struggled with religion and their own views of it, I think Hazel will be an interesting projection. I want to see her lean into her faith with all that is coming to trouble her because that is who they are. God is her Shepherd and she is his lamb. He is guiding her through all of this, struggles and all.

I don’t think she’ll ever come to have a moment where she will renounce her faith. It is embedded in her. She is solid and unwavering in it — and I desperately believe that that can’t be changed, no matter what the world — Verona, specifically — will throw at them.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

I always fear that I’m not living right: I want to explore how far Hazel falls in with the Montagues. Is it forging only ? Does it stop there ? Or does it slowly become more and more until she realizes she is drowning in sin she could have never imagined ? I want her to have moral conflict. She loves Verona for its beauty and history — but is it worth the sin ? Is it worth the stain on her godly soul no matter how many times she goes to confession ? I gotta say I don’t think she’ll be necessarily cognizant of her doing more. It just seems like she’s paying off their debts. A gun to the face has put the fear of God in her heart ( — which leads me to wonder how much fear did she have of God to begin with, the righteous and Almighty, and I do suppose I could write a whole thesis on this but I’ll refrain ) and to question it seems like the wrong move.

ALSO HAHA I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS RIGHT NOW pt. 2 : what if she started forging for the Capulets too ? Like, to make more money on the side ? The money they’re earning from the Montagues is basically nil, considering it’s all going to debts. If she wants a little money in her pockets, maybe she’ll have to do what she has to. Maybe there’s no choice. It could be dangerous and risky — scratch that. It would definitely be dangerous and risky. But I think a part of Hazel is still somewhat blind to all of the danger. It hasn’t quite touched her yet ( a gun to her face aside ), so it hasn’t quite struck her how much is at play, at least not in a real, physical, palpable way.

I do have to say that I’m pretty sure she will end up more involved within either the Montagues or the Capulets despite what her initial thoughts are ( because that’s the path I’d like to move with her ). Slowly but surely, she’ll end up in deeper water, but I don’t think she’ll want to get out so long as she feels safe. That’s so important, a sense of safety. She has that in her relationship with her parents, and especially her relationship with God. That said, I feel like I need to add that she will stay involved with the gangs so long as she isn’t hurting anyone directly. She’ll have blinders on, specifically rose-colored ones, of her own making. Perhaps it’s naive, perhaps it’s selfish, but to think too long about it is scary. To add on the thought of hurting someone else by her direct action ? Unfathomable. It’s established in the biography that she saw the world in extremes, and I do imagine that, while she has grown, she still sees some things in black and white. I think getting more involved with the Capulets and Montagues will show her that the world isn’t just her version of black and white. What she sees as wrong, someone else might see it as right. I think she’ll be introduced to shades of grey she never quite was able to perceive anymore. I want her to learn more about people as she learns more about the war between the Montagues and Capulets.

I’m still petrified that I’ll die alone: I can’t imagine that leaving Harley didn’t hurt Hazel at least a little bit. It was the right decision surely — she’ll never think or believe otherwise — but now she’s grown up. I think that she wants Harley to be in her life because she loved them once, partly, not wholly, but as the connection says, Hazel doesn’t know where Harley is meant to fit. I think it would be really interesting to have them reunite and discover who she is now. Though Harley knew herself then, I’m sure she’s changed. I want Hazel to learn that, and I want her to reintroduce herself to her. It would start with a “ Hi, I’m Hazel, ” and it’d be a little shy and a little hesitant, but she’s open to possibilities. She isn’t as closed off as she once was. I really think Hazel needs to figure out where Harley fits, or, and hear me out, where she doesn’t fit. I don’t know if Hazel ever felt true closure from where they left each other before, but maybe she can find it. Whether it’s them together or not, it’s something she’ll work to figure out.

Ok I feel the need to say that obviously it would depend on the Harley writer and myself on whether or not they get back together and also their chemistry ???? okay but so: If they get back together, I think Hazel will definitely feel more pulled into the world of the Capulets and Montagues. I feel like I should state that, one, she would be incredibly glad to be with Harley again, and she would fall in love again, which leads to a very happy mindset and lifestyle, but the most heavy impact it would have on her life is for sure  the one it would have on her role with the Capulets and Montagues. Honestly, right now, she doesn’t want to be involved. That’s the end goal. The only thing keeping her with the Montagues right now is her debt. Once she has it paid off entirely, there’s really no reason to keep working with them. I mean, besides money, but I digress. She wouldn’t plan to work for either. She could be pressed / convinced into it. However, regarding the Capulets, she wouldn’t want to put Harley in a difficult position were she still working with the Montagues when they got back together. Can she quit ? Probably not ! Would she try ? Yes ! Maybe she’d offer to assist the Capulets in some way to make it equal. In her mind, it would work. Harley: come work for the Capulets. I’m loyal to them. There’s some safety in Verona with an allegiance Hazel: Good point I think if Harley asked her to, she wouldn’t say no, not right away It would take time to make a decision, and she would definitely think about it ( not just an hour, but days, maybe a week ? ) She would be conflicted between her strength and resolve towards herself but also her loyalty towards Harley If they don’t get back together, I do think Hazel will be sad, but not cripplingly so. She would be the first person to say she isn’t the same as she was a year ago, let alone however long it was ago that her and Harley were together. I think it would loosen a tie between her and the Capulets, if there was one, but also loosen the tie between her and Verona. I sort of see it ( them not being together ) as a reason not to stay. It would cement to her that she wasn’t the person who fell in love with Harley. She’s different, she’s someone new. And that’s not a bad thing. I think it would be almost a relief actually, to know that she's changed. I would hope that they’d still be friends and would get to know each other for who they are now. Hazel wants to be excited for who she is now and what all that she believes in.

I’m still petrified of going broke: Hazel never imagined being in crippling debt, not to a college in the United States, and definitely not to a bank controlled by a mob in Italy. But here she is. This is her life. Is it worth it to stay ? What if she ran home to her parents, embracing their help and their charity until she found her footing once again ? She could do it. Would Verona follow ? She doesn’t think so. But guilt would. She made her bed, shouldn’t she lie in it ? Maybe running wouldn’t do any good, so maybe she should find purpose in Verona. It could start with a job. It could continue with getting out of debt and earning her freedom once more. Then, she could further repent beyond confession with charity and good deeds. Maybe she can set themselves on a godly path once more someway somehow.

To stay: I think Hazel wants to stay because it’s new. It’s beautiful and freeing to be so independent. She’s learning about the world, about herself, and, importantly, she feels closer to God here. She’d have more reason to stay if she had Harley, she’d have more reason to stay if she became better friends with those she’s found friendship ( acquaintanceship ? ) with. Felipe: You don’t forge documents for someone without at least feeling a little loyal to them ! I imagine Hazel is keen to remain in touch with them, to know they’re safe. Also, she told her whole life story to him. If that doesn’t add up to friendship ( in her mind, at least ), then what does ? Ajax: Listen. I just have thoughts about these too. They could become BEST FRIENDS. Obviously, that’s Hazel with her rose-colored glasses talking through me. I just imagine she feels close to him ( with him viewing her as a sister-like figure, I imagine it’s reciprocal ). Also please note that above I said Hazel wants to stay. Despite her debt and moral quandaries, she still wants to be in Italy. That’s how she’s feeling right now. I think staying will impact her self-confidence. She is enough. She is strong and brave in ways she never quite imagined. I think she’ll discover more about humans, the longer she stays in Verona ; rather, she’ll learn more about their particularities and peculiarities — who they are, their beliefs, their loyalties. That’s something that struck me particularly about Hazel, she’s always learning and she’s eager to do so, not just about herself but the world and the people in it, too. To not stay, in no particular order: there’s a war between the Capulets and Montagues going on and she’s somehow gotten involved. She’s in debt. Her ex is here. I think if she got hurt, saw someone get hurt, or knew someone closely who got hurt, she might be convinced to leave. Harm isn’t something she wants to be around. She doesn’t want it to happen to her and she doesn’t want to see someone be affected. Ultimately, though, it boils down to fear. If she’s scared of her life being at risk, she might consider it time to flee. I think this would ultimately cause her to shelter herself further. She’ll seek the familiar, her family and childhood home, perhaps, or somewhere with a heavily-religious population. Either way, she’ll fall back on her faith and the familiar, finding comfort in what she already knows, trusts, and believes in.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? |

What is life without a little risk ? Kill her if you have to. Let’s go for maximum angst and maximum pain. IN DEPTH

What is your favorite place in Verona?

The cathedral and its pews seemed awfully lonely and awfully cold, and Hazel wondered if one without god in their hearts would simply freeze if they stepped inside. It seemed foolish to wonder such a thing, but the cathedral was such a sacred and holy place. What good came to outsiders who stepped inside ? To come there was to seek God. It had to be for that purpose and that only. “ I found the Cathedral in my first days here — but saying it like that makes it seem like I wasn’t aware of it before I moved. ” Her head was tilted askew, her eyes not upon whom she spoke to, instead stuck on the multicolored panes of the stained glass windows. “ It was one of my reasons I chose Verona, actually. I — I needed a place I knew I’d be able to find God. ”

There was something that felt like home in a church. Hazel had never much enjoyed labeling a place as such, but the wooden pews were as familiar as her father, the velvet kneelers soft and comforting as her mother’s hand on her cheek. She’s staring down at her feet now, half-embarrassed and half feeling like she’s revealing her inner soul. “ This — it’s unlike the church I grew up in in a thousand ways, but I still know what to expect here. I know the prayers and the rites, the taste of communion on my tongue. I come here and find the familiar when I’m feeling lost. ”

What does your typical day look like? “ It’s really not that interesting, I’ll have you know. ” She shrugged her shoulders, brows raised, fingers reaching up to push long strands of hair behind her ears. “ I wake up when the sun peeks through my window and I eat breakfast. Usually coffee and a bread of some sort. I’m a real sucker for a good cornetto, honestly. ”

“ I’m a morning person so I try to get as much done before noon, otherwise I consider the day to be a wash. I — I have a lot of papers to work on. ” She doesn’t elaborate, nor does she plan to. The papers, the forgeries, take up so much of her time and effort. She has to be perfect and precise with them, fear of what would happen if she wasn’t has gripped her so strongly that she’s woken in the middle of the night with a cold sweat slicking her body. “ I can get lost in my work. I guess I can be a bit of a perfectionist. ”

She nodded to herself, thinking of what comes next. Her eyes flicked towards the window, towards the people below. For a second, she’s lost in her staring. She couldn’t help but think that people-watching was becoming a lost art. “ I like having my afternoons open to wander and explore. I’m still getting to know the city, and just when I think I’ve got it all figured out, I find something new. It’s beautiful and historic. A marvel. ” Her words had turned airy and distant ; her body was there but her mind was somewhere else. “ I didn’t think moving to Verona would involve me working so much. ” She snorted a laugh despite herself. “ I had to invest in a better pair of sneakers a week in, my old ones were falling apart. ”

“ I usually go to church every day, too, if not every other day. It’s a chance to think and check in with myself. With God.”

Again, she’s shrugging. “ It’s not exciting, okay ? I’m not — exciting. I never have been. I don’t think I’d want to be either ? ”

Silence hung.

“ I call my parents in the evening. It’s afternoon back in Colorado. Usually I can catch them in their free time. Then it’s dinner. Then bed by nine. ”

She feels like she’s being judged. She doesn’t like it.

What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

A loaded question. Does it mean since coming to Verona or within her entire life ? Her mind is reeling with possibilities of answers. She thinks of a beautiful girl she couldn’t give her heart to. She thinks of the Montagues, who she’s ended up helping in return for paid debts. One seems like the obvious answer, bigger than the other.

Her heart says otherwise.

“ I hurt a girl who didn’t deserve it. ” Her lip curls with self-disgust. “ I couldn’t not do what I did, but that doesn’t mean I wanted to hurt her. If I could have done it gentler I would have, but hearts ache. It’s what they’re meant to do. There was no avoiding it. ”

She rests her head in her hands and talk through her fingers.

“ I don’t like hurting people. It doesn’t feel good. ”

What has been the most difficult task asked of you?

This — this — is the easiest question asked. There is no doubt in Hazel’s mind when she answers. “ If there is a gun pointed at me when I’m told to do something, that goes to the top of the list. ” She leans back in her chair, her arms folded across her chest. It’s such a loaded question. How could they expect her to say anything else ? “ It’s like this. I’m good at forging things. I have to do it. This added pressure, though, it makes me feel like I’m drowning, okay ? I’ve never done it where so much was at stake, where it’s been my life on the line. ” Her jaw is clenched, trembling slightly. “ I just feel like I really played myself, you know ? I fell for a trick and into a trap, and the next thing I know is that I’m staring into the mouths of lions. ”

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

Her face flushes as more time passes. She doesn’t like being considered ignorant, but as time passes and no words spill from parted lips, it’s clear that she doesn’t have much to say. “ I don’t know much about it. ” She speaks slowly and carefully, considering. “ All I know is that it scares me, and I’m on the precipice of falling into it. ” Isn’t she ? She’s forging for the Montagues. That makes her involved with one side of the war, if not both by association. Still, she wants to stay away from most of it, if she can. “ I don’t know what’s started it, and I know that hate and rage has kept it going. I’m scared of being touched by its bloodshed. No good can come from being involved. ”

Extras:

HEADCANONS

001. Of the few things she brought with her to Verona, very likely her dearest possession, is a pearl and crystal Holy Rosary she received after completing her confirmation from her parents.

002. She learned she had a penchant for forgeries in high school. It started with a signature missed from her parents. Her few friends caught on and asked for a few favors. It ended as quickly as it started, guilt eating at her core. But it always seemed to come back. In college, a doctor said they would fax over a note that would grant her an extension for certain assignments. When they didn’t, Hazel did it herself, making a pastiche out of old notes and documents from the practice. That wasn’t lying, was it ? It had meant to be done by the doctor anyway. But she was offered money a few more times when others found out what she could do. She always found herself feeling a pit in her stomach, deciding the possibility of being blackmailed if she said no was worse than the acts of fraud itself. She thought post-college that it would stop. No more trickery and fooling others. And then she ended up in Verona with debt weighing her down, letters sent to her asking for payments nearly everyday. She went to the bank with a letter, signed by the head of the bank itself, saying she had been granted an extension. Most didn’t bat an eye. It looked good, it looked real. Perhaps the extension was too generous because she was caught. Instead of pursuing legal options against her, an offer was laid at her feet. Make some forgeries, lose your debt. How could she say no ?

003. She has a favorite coffee shop just outside of the little apartment she’s living at. She goes there for breakfast. Sometimes she orders extra pastry to have them at home. She’s considered asking for a job there. Something real. Something legal. Something with low risk.

004. She calls her mother frequently. To not worry her, she says everything is fine, just dandy and golden. It’s a white lie, the teensiest of things, but it’s to her parents. Surely God would understand that she wishes to not stress them out.

PINTEREST BOARD

#accepted: hermia #accepted

[romancemedia]

NCIS: Los Angeles S11E11 - Answers

In the 11th episode of the 11th season of NCIS: Los Angeles, it’s the mid-season finale, but before the show goes on break and returns at the start of next year, the team have big discussions in store as they all are facing big potential changes in their futures.

This was One of the Best Episodes I Have Ever Seen. The title says it all as this episode provided us with so many answers to various questions we’ve been asking ourselves for a long time and now they give us clarity and insight on the future of the NCIS LA team. For a change, the team wasn’t out on the field for the whole episode, but instead they were all at OSP having important discussions about themselves and their futures. To be honest, I’m always wanted an episode just like this one, but I never thought it would happen until today and this episode was truly amazing, spectacular and just downright breathtaking. The episode begins with the team finishing one case, but soon find themselves preparing for another and while they get themselves ready at HQ, they all take this time to discuss their futures.

First, our beloved Densi. This was one of the best highlights of the entire episode as we can jump and scream for joy as it’s revealed that for the last few months, Kensi and Deeks have been TRYING TO HAVE A BABY. DENSI ARE TRYING TO GET PREGNANT!!! YAY!!! Unfortunately, Kensi and Deeks still have yet to get pregnant despite their best efforts and now the weight of that is starting to effect them with both expressing their fears and frustration to each other. Densi honestly have the best emotional scenes together as it’s just great to see them being emotional and vulnerable and find comfort and support with each other. Kensi is worried she might never be able to get pregnant as it does unfortunately happen to some women and Deeks is afraid of the future to come for their child and what kind of father he will be since he didn’t have the perfect childhood himself. I love that Deeks and Kensi can truly be themselves around each other. In the end, despite their fears, Kensi and Deeks decide enough is enough and let their fears go and simply live in the moment because it will happen, they will get pregnant when the time comes. Plus for a split second I thought Kensi was upset because when she mentioned her dad I thought. OMG is it the anniversary on when he died? Also, I LOVE ALL THE DENSI KISSES!!!

Second are Callen and Sam’s moments were probably the most intense throughout the episode as they had some tough conversations about both their past and future, but I’m glad they both got closure and have a plan for their futures. Sam did a great job getting Callen to open up as he isn’t very willing to share his feelings or thoughts, but that is definitely one of Sam’s super powers, not to mention he can read Callen like a book. I’m surprised to discover that apparently, Callen still loves Anna, but he blames himself for not telling her he loves her back and in the end apparently, he was the one who ultimately ruined their relationship? Since Anna killed Abram Sokolov back in season 9 which resulted in her going to jail and later on the run, it was ultimately downfall to her and Callen, especially since she blamed him for what happened since he testified and told the truth, even though she told him to. However, after Sam and Callen’s conversation, it seems now it was all a test from Anna to Callen to see if he really loved her and in Anna’s eyes, Callen failed, making her believe he never really loved her at all. I realize now that Sam was right, it seems that Callen really did push Anna away, because just like Hetty’s job offer, Anna was the real deal. Anna was a permeant part of Callen’s life until he pushed her away. This newfound perspective into Anna and Callen’s relationship proves, things aren’t always black and white. Sam seems to have gotten through to Callen since he’s declared he’s going to find Anna. I wonder how he intends to make things right between them. 

Aside from the focus on Callanna, I enjoyed the other realisations that Callen also needs to discover who he is today. Since he finally learned the whole truth about his past and lead his father to rest, Callen now needs to learn what kind of man he truly wants to be. As for Sam, I am so happy that he has finally gained peace and closure regarding Michelle’s death at last. Sam is finally ready to move on and he deserves to be happy and hopefully that means we will get to see him and Katherine get together sometime in the near future. Plus, I am really happy he decided to turn down the job with Lance Hamilton and has a whole new plan to OSP better than ever with Callen taking on Hetty’s job... which he accepts at last. I’m looking forward to seeing them face their futures and I think Sam was right, Callen is finally starting to become "a real boy" at last.

Finally, Neric. To be perfectly honest, these two really had me confused most of the time as their discussion was both a little about their relationship, but also involved Nell’s family, revealing her mom is getting worse, her father has become a full-time caretaker and now she is living with her sister, Sydney. I feel bad for Nell as the stress of her relationship with Eric and troubles her family really started to effect her all at once. Regarding Eric and Nell’s relationship, Nell seems to think they maybe moving too fast since they just jumped right into a serious relationship without ever actually dating. It reminds me of a season 6 episode when Deeks and Kensi faced somewhat similar issues shortly after they first got together. However, unlike Densi, who both decided to take their relationship slower, Nell decided to hit the "reset button" on her and Eric’s relationship. I ain’t gonna lie, I Really thought Eric and Nell were gonna break up. In all honesty though, I felt the conversation was once again more focus on Nell and her family than really her relationship with Eric, which was kinda a disappointment in some ways. I was really looking forward to seeing a bit of drama in their relationship as it’s always interesting to see any relationship face a few troubles or obstacles because in the end it makes a relationship all that much stronger, which is what I was hoping for Eric and Nell.

Anyway, I feel this episode was perfect as it was a good way to prepare us, the fans for the next chapter of NCIS: Los Angeles. I know there have been some people, including myself, worried this episode was a sign, indicating this could very well be the final season of our beloved television series. However, after finally watching this episode, I don’t feel worried or concerned anymore. This episode was the perfect example of the old saying, "When one door closes, another one opens". Everyone on the team were saying goodbye to their worries and concerns and are finally ready to face the next chapter of their lives and it couldn’t be at any other perfect time because we are also reaching the end of 2019 and will soon be moving on to 2020. Personally, I feel this episode was just a perfect way to say goodbye to the worries and fears and be more open and ready for the good times to come and I really believe we have plenty more good times to come for NCIS: Los Angeles in 2020. Both for the show and ourselves.

Overall, this was a truly great episode, leaving me with a lot of happiness and high hopes for the rest of the season to come in 2020. BTW, I liked that Kensi mentioned her minor crossover with Hawaii Five-0 from years ago and I still can’t believe the bar is called, The Squid and Dagger. Plus I was happy to see that Granger was mentioned.

#NCIS Los Angeles #My Thoughts #My Edits #My Thoughts NCIS LA #G Callen #Sam Hanna #Kensi Blye #Marty Deeks #Nell Jones #Eric Beale #Anna Kolcheck #Densi #Neric #Callanna #Kensi x Deeks #Eric x Nell #Callen x Anna #NCIS Los Angeles S11

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Fixing RWBY Volume 5

Well, here we are. Volume 5. The hot mess that helped spark a new generation of critics. Sure, Volume 6 also had its share, but it was more focused on Adam and the Bees. Volume 5 destroyed a lot of things and caused people to voice their complaints. It was so bad, RT had to literally appease the public by giving them exactly what they want. You ever wondered why Ruby suddenly gained prominence as a character in Volume 6 or the sudden focus on Blake and Yang’s relationship or even Penny’s return?

But why is Volume 5 so bad? Well, I made a lengthy post about it, but the long story short of it is that a combination of RT’s over ambitiousness of RWBY, its lack of resource management, and the writers clearly having no idea how to pace scenes out led to a Volume that felt more like the writers just wanted to get it over with and failed to live up to its core theme. I brought this up time and time again with my tweaks that each of the volumes carried with it a certain theme.

Volume 1 was about beginnings and friendship, Volume 2 was about stepping into danger, Volume 3 was the theme of falling, Volume 4 was the theme of picking yourself back up, Volume 6 was outgrowing your mentor’s advice, and Volume 7 was about trust and fear. What’s Volume 5’s theme? Well, from the interviews mentioned in the Reddit post and the opening song, the theme revolves around solving problems on your own and, most importantly for this rewrite, shouting “We’re not done here!”, which, if you’ve seen Volume 5, went more like this:

“Let’s wait until the bad guys call us to fight them. Then we’ll cry about how things aren’t going our way until this guy goes about feeling up- I mean, healing up this girl.”

Obviously, this needs to be changed. Unlike the other tweaks where I change one or two major elements of a Volume and mostly shuffle things around for better coherency, this is just gonna outright be a full rewrite, since while I mostly let things go as they are, the problem with Volume 5 is that nothing should go as they are.

In fact, all the tweaking I did is basically building up for Volume 5. All the bits where Ozpin is untrustworthy? To better sell Yang getting all pissy about BIRDS. Hazel’s appearance? To make him a much more prominent character. Everything in regards to Adam and the White Fang? To set up a better closure for the White Fang subplot. It’s all been to try and fix Volume 5. If Volume 3 is the lynchpin for which all other Volumes try to imitate, then Volume 5 is the lynchpin for which all other Volumes try to avoid being. Like I said, RT had to basically give viewers a shit ton of cookies just to make up for how bad Volume 5 was.

So, instead of going by this arc by arc, I’m gonna go the more traditional route and rewrite the Volume episode by episode. My obligatory recommendation is a mishmash of Volume 5 rewrites that Unicorn of War made. I mean, he made about 3? 4? I lost count.

Episode 0 (Trailers)

Okay, these need to be changed. The point of a character short is to highlight the character’s strong points. Not make them weak or focus on someone else. Ruby’s character short did this, Adam’s character short did this, the original trailers did this, so why the hell did they drop the ball with Weiss losing to common undead mooks and Blake listening to a backstory that isn’t even in the show proper?

So, we’re going to change all this. Weiss’s character short has her fighting against the Beowovles and she manages to win. Winter comes by, but points out how sloppy she was and reveals that she held back. She then gives a foreshadowing line of “if this were a real battle, you’d most likely be bleeding out from that last blow.”

Blake’s character short goes more into detail of what happened to Ghira. Namely him getting gunned down by random humans and in a later scene, Blake fighting them to get revenge, only to stop herself. Adam steps in and personally finishes off the humans, which causes Blake to realize just how much of an asshole Adam is.

Yang’s character short is somewhat the same, but drop the stupid plotline of Ruby learning hand to hand, since RT wants to pretend it never existed to begin with. Also, let’s not have Yang’s aura flicker and tell the Audience she has no aura when you literally just explained a day or so ago that no aura means no semblance.

Alright, now let’s finally get into it:

Episode 1

We open right where the stinger of Volume 4 leaves off with Jaune and co visiting Pyrrha’s mom and dad and dropping off a spare shield that RT joked about in an interview that forever scarred the Floof Artist and blurred the lines of if RWBY should be an anime or a cartooooooooooon. It’s meant to set the tone for this Volume as we get a brief bit where Ruby and Qrow explore the rest of Mistral and not just look at mat paintings. Also, show that it’s in a state of chaos instead of two people with some bamboo heart plant thing.

We also have bits that catch up with our cast. Weiss hears a distress signal and much to Pilot Boi’s demands, she commandeers the ship and flies to them. Blake and Ilia meet for the first time since the fight and Blake argues with her on why she’s vouching so much for Adam. Ilia only warns her to leave Menagerie before she gets hurt and leaves before Blake asks for details. Yang and Heather gang up and get Not!Bakugou to drag them to the bandits.

RNJR and Qrow meet up with Lionheart, who fills them in on the crisis as Qrow tells him that he had to explain the Relics since Ozpin is no longer with them. Namely, Mistral has tons of Grimm going around, not helped by bandits who are making bad matters worse. When Qrow mentions that the Spring Maiden is among the bandits, he nearly has a heart attack. “Bandits are one thing but magical bandits!?”

He also answers Jaune’s question with the same response: “Nothing but lies and forgeries.”, which makes Jaune angry and openly complains about it before Ruby tries to help him. “Hey! We may not have gotten what we wanted, but people here need our help.” When Ruby says this, Qrow decides to inform the group about the possible home base of Raven’s tribe. Note that he does not mention that she’s Yang’s mom nor do they know. Lionheart is a little startled and warns that they only have one shot at this and if they fail, Raven’s tribe will scatter into parts unknown, if they haven’t already. He tries to get them to stay, but Ruby is insistent to stop Raven at the very least, with securing the Spring Maiden being a secondary mission, not asking why she’s important, since she kinda got the idea from Jaune when he recounted how Ozpin forced the Maiden powers onto Pyrrha.

As they leave, Lionheart sighs and warns Watts about it, only for him to say that this game of chess was out of his hand to begin with. The most Lionheart can do is provide the team with the one Huntsman who is at his Academy…

Later that evening, Qrow goes for a drink while RNJR prepare for their mission. He is approached by Oscar and Lionheart. Lionheart says that Oscar had arrived at Haven days ago and refused to leave when he’s told that school’s out for the summer. He leaves Oscar to Qrow while saying how “a day out in the field is worth a week in school.”

As Oscar is alone with Qrow, he asks for his cane in a voice that is not his. Ending the episode there.

Episode 2

Lionheart informs Salem about RNJR arriving at Haven with Qrow and that they’re on their way to retrieve the Spring Maiden. He advises Salem to act quickly, but Salem hushes him (no, she does not strangle him) and says that she’s got the situation under control. She then advises Watts that he is no longer needed at Mistral and is to return to Evernight before the others find him. Watts uses the Seer to teleport and he and Cinder have a bit of a snarkfest now that Cinder can talk before Watts leaves to make Tyrian’s tail.

Cinder then asks Salem to personally be the one that kills Ruby, only to be warned that Ruby’s Silver Eyes are a hazard to her. “She is merely a novice with the Silver Eyes and yet put you on death’s door… I don’t want you to get hurt again.” Cinder just flares up and goes “I. Won’t.” And storms off.

Weiss battles with Lancer Wasps like in the original, but she’s acting on initiative so people are being saved. Battle proceeds like normal, but when Weiss crashes the plan, she and Pilot Boi survive before being kidnapped by Raven.

We cut to Adam and Sienna doing their usual talk, but instead of Sienna going out like a bitch, she actually has a battle with Adam because I assume in this universe, RT knows better than to fuck up like this. I’d compare it to Maul vs. Vizsla from the Clone Wars.

Meanwhile, Ruby and co. are ready to depart before Qrow approaches them, drunk, with Oscar, who quickly informs the group that they may know him better as Ozpin… Cue Jaune becoming shocked at first… then turning into outright rage. End episode.

Episode 3

We open with Kali making a speech on Adam’s plans to destroy Haven Academy and the rest of the Menagerians hesitant to step forward. One of the guards approaches Kali, then stabs her. In the chaos, the guard runs off, then appears through the crowd, shedding her disguise and revealing herself to the audience as Ilia, who gives her whole “Now is the time to side with Adam” speech and also reveals how her parents died in the dust mines. This goes into a brief scuffle between Sun and Ilia that Ilia gets out of by disguising herself as Blake when Blake joins the fight. This is where you can do that Blake slaps Sun bit, but instead, it’s Ilia who slaps Sun.

We then cut to Jaune slamming Oscar against the wall and shouting: “YOU BASTARD! HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!?” Ruby tries to pull Jaune away, but he won’t budge. Oscar, still in Ozpin’s voice, gives the explanation that he is able to reincarnate but hides why or how he can do this. In fact, he hides that his “reincarnation” actually means his soul becomes linked to another’s, much to Oscar’s chagrin. He explains that Lionheart has been very sketchy and warns not to listen to what he says. He then advises that they should move quickly. Note that he doesn’t say that they need to train, since the training arc goes nowhere and we need to not only streamline this but make it a lot more entertaining. Ozpin then de-possesses Oscar, who cries about his hurt back, immediately bringing Ozpin’s methods into question for Ruby for the first time.

Weiss awakes to find herself in a cage next to Pilot Boi, who just gives her a comedic calling out just before Vernal and her troops come in and drag out Pilot Boi. Vernal looks to Weiss and tells the bandits “she’s important. Leave her be.” Weiss asks what’s going on as Vernal tells Weiss about how she’s going to be used as a bartering chip. For what, we don’t know yet, but it’s clarified that she’s not being ransomed back to her father. Vernal then explains that Pilot Boi is merely a spare and that they can do what they want. As she says that, she goes to Pilot Boi as he is held down in front of Raven. Vernal approaches Pilot Boi as Weiss looks on in worry. We then end the episode with a crash of lightning.

Episode 4

Heather and Yang get ambushed, but beat up the gang with ease, then enter the tribe, though not without seeing Pilot Boi’s charred corpse crucified outside the gates as a warning for intruders. Heather and Yang get their weapons ready.

We cut to RNJR, Oscar, and Qrow, who are walking to Raven’s camp. Along the way, Oscar is given a lecture from Qrow on Aura, namely on how to activate it. He then asks Ruby, as she’s the youngest of the group, if fighting is as easy as huntsmen make it out to be. Ruby gives the naïve answer of “of course!” though Jaune brings up how inexperience is discouraged. As Oscar grows afraid of Jaune, Jaune sighs and apologizes. “Sorry, I’m not entirely sure what’s going on with you and Oz right now… I don’t hate you… Just the voice inside you.”

“I know… I hate it too…”

Qrow stops them and tells them they’ve arrived.

Cut to the tribe letting Yang and Heather in where they confront Raven… Heather questions if she’s the one responsible for not just the destruction of several villages, but also the disappearance of huntsmen too. Already, this should send warning flags, but Yang decides to ignore them.

Yang: Take off that mask, Raven.

Raven: Is that anyway to treat your mother? {Heather gives a WTF look}

Yang: My mother is dead and you know it.

Raven: {sneers} Regardless. You’ve proven yourself by coming out to find me. I guess you grew tired of Ozpin’s teachings and wanted to join the winning side.

Yang: That’s not why I’m here.

Raven: Then why are you here?

Yang: For my sister.

Raven: Well, hate to disappoint you, but she’s not here.

Yang: That’s why you’re going to bring me there with your Semblance. It can create portals with you and a close bond, right?

Raven: So… you know about that. Well, unfortunately for you, I don’t respect that brat enough to make a portal.

Yang: {eyes go red} Don’t talk about my sister that way!

Raven: What’s so important about her anyways? From her eyes, she’s already a lost cause for that Ozpin.

Yang: What do you know about Ozpin? You got kicked out the moment he saw that you’re using his teachings to kill innocent people!

Raven: Is that what Taiyang told you? Foolish. Simply foolish. I didn’t get kicked out of STRQ. I left STRQ. I’d rather use those teachings for better things than what Ozpin had in store. He turned my brother and your ‘mother’ into his personal attack dogs and put one of them down when they got too gabby.

Yang: {about to go into a frenzy} You shut your mouth!

Vernal: Are we going to have a problem?

Yang: {sees she has Myrtenaster} W-where did you find that?

Raven: {nods to Vernal, who goes over to reveal a caged Weiss} We had anticipated your arrival since you stepped foot on Anima. The fact that one of your friends just so happened to be close by gave us the perfect bargaining chip.

Yang: What are you going to do to her?

Raven: Nothing, if you join us. {Weiss looks at Raven, having suddenly figured out that’s what Vernal meant}

Yang: And if I refuse?

Raven then signals Vernal to execute Weiss. Just then, Ruby intervenes and speed blitzes her. Weiss then breaks out of the prison with her summon as JNROQ come in. The group is surrounded by bandits as everyone quickly finds out that Raven is Yang’s mom. Ren is the first to attack, seeing Vernal and believing her to be the child he made friends with back in Kuroyuri. This begins a massive clash that is sure to sate the appetites of those who want to say “RWBY’s about four girls who kick ass” and give a taste of what’s to come.

The group have little time to figure out what’s going on. Just that Ren, Weiss and Nora are fighting Vernal (this is where you have Weiss trying to summon only to get shot by Vernal), Jaune is battling some bandits with Oscar and Heather, and Ruby and Yang try to fight Raven, only for Qrow to interfere and say that Raven’s on a whole different level. Raven retreats and after battling some bandits for quite a bit, Hazel comes out of the tent. Turns out that Fort Castle (the place where Adam fought Sienna) was not too far from Raven’s base. Ruby and Hazel reunite briefly before Hazel apologizes and enters the fray. He makes everyone his bitch and that’s without the Dust Crystals. Heather and Qrow are the only ones to give him an even fight, but he quickly overwhelms them too thanks to his Semblance.

While the group manages to fend off the bandits, it’s clear that with Hazel, Raven, and Vernal, they need to make a retreat, especially since Raven asks Hazel to bring in “that Adam boy”, making Yang go full PTSD mode. However, before they could leave, Hazel defeats Heather. Ruby protests that he shouldn’t kill her, but her pleas fall on deaf ears as he finishes Heather off. Ruby begins to cry and asks why he killed her. Hazel just replies “She made her choice.” The group retreat back to Mistral as we end the episode with Raven going back into the camp as we see that a Seer Grimm is inside her tent.

This reveals a rather big twist: Raven is also in league with Salem’s crew, acting as Huntsmen removal instead of Tyrian and Hazel (since they were too busy with their stuff in Volume 4) and it also explains why Salem and the others aren’t as hard-pressed about the Spring Maiden as they should be. They already have her in their grasps and, were it not for Cinder getting Silver-Eye’d, Cinder would have immediately gained the Spring Maiden powers.

Episode 5

After that rollercoaster of an episode, the story relaxes with Sun trying (comedically) to get people to join in the battle for Haven, only for Blake to stop him and tell him that it’s futile. She just visited her mom, who is currently recovering in the house, and tells Sun that they should just give up and leave. Sun refuses, since he wants to give Adam a thing or two about giving Faunus like him a bad name. Were I to completely redo Sun’s character, I’d definitely see him as Claude from Fire Emblem: Three Houses.

Blake then explains to Sun who Ilia is, complete with a Burning the Candle-like flashback. This is where her backstory comes in. She then explains who Adam is. We don’t get a flashback and even so, she knows little about him. Just that he came to the White Fang one day, asserted himself, then when Ghira was assassinated, took the reins of the White Fang, leaving Sienna Khan to be a puppet leader. As such, Blake believes that she’s the one who made Adam the monster he is, when audience members can obviously tell that’s not the case. It’s just Blake putting herself down and Sun points out how this is probably something Adam said to her to make her feel small. If you’re not getting it by now, Sun is basically where Blake learns a lot of Adam’s tactics from and eventually, she becomes a much better person at handling Adam’s BS. The reason why he knows all this is from his own personal experience. To ensure there’s no “mystery box” element, I’m gonna nip it in the bud and say his father’s the RWBY version of King Louie… Which given how he sings about wanting “man’s red flower” and how people compare Adam to Mowgli because he killed Sienna Khan…

Oooooooh, this could be really cool but this is a tweak, not a fanfic. FOCUS! … I want to say that Adam was an experiment by Vacuan scientists (read: shamans who prefer using Dust as science) before being dumped to the Schnees as part of a deal and that’s how we got his Semblance being as weird as it is.

Back at Haven’s dorm, RWYJNR are shaken up from the battle, not to mention Ruby having personally seen her friend’s father murder someone before her eyes. Oscar himself is rather shaken up. Qrow is the only person unfazed, but that’s because he’s always drunk instead. While everyone takes their time in recovering, Ruby and Oscar talk about the future, as Heather was an experienced Huntress. This is where the infamous speech comes in, but Ruby doesn’t blame Salem for killing Penny and Pyrrha, rather she blames Cinder, then mentions how she’s a pawn of Salem and expresses doubt if they could beat her.

Cut to the Albains. They have no communications with Adam and so they have to move on their own. One of them decides “let’s kill Kali!” and the other’s like “uh, isn’t that going to cause people to turn against us?” “No, no, it’s okay dude, they can trust us!” all while Ilia is like “… wtf?” and Yuma’s like “only here for a few minutes, use me effectively.”

Episode 6

Qrow investigates and finds that all the other Huntsmen have met unfortunate ends and all assigned to the same quest: stop the bandits. He mutters about how Raven could do such a thing, only to find a young girl crying and asking for her mother. It’s made clear that this is Heather’s kid and Qrow, for the first time in a longass while, begins to feel remorse, if only because he mistook her for Ruby.

We cut to Raven as she has a meeting with Vernal, Hazel, and Adam. It’s clear that RWYJNR are gonna try and return and rather than prepare for a rematch, Raven proposes to nip it in the bud. She also dotes on Adam a bit, saying how he is better than Yang in every way possible. We don’t know the full extent of what she means just yet, but we’ll find out later.

Ren and Yang have a chat about Raven. Ren’s absolutely pissed that Yang’s mother is the person who torched his town and stole his friend (he assumes she’s kidnapped and is being forced to fight against her will) while Yang is just as irritated that Raven tried to use her friend as leverage. Weiss copes with having seen someone die in front of her and Nora comforts her, casually joking that, if Vernal tried that on her, she’d be sorry. Ruby, Oscar and Jaune discuss on what to do going forward, having Ozpin come out so that they can get some sort of advice, much to Jaune’s chagrin.

Ozpin, however, refuses to speak. Before Jaune could get upset with Oz, he cites that even walls have ears. Cut to Yang as she sees a red-eyed raven outside her house. She quickly remembers the red-eyed raven from Patch, both the one that screamed at Ruby and the one that was there when she lost her arm. She instantly goes on the defensive as the bird flies through the window and changes to Raven. Yang asks how she can do that and she merely says “Oz did this to me.” End of episode.

Episode 7

Everyone rushes in as Raven brings in her proposition: Surrender Yang and she’ll spare the rest of the group. Refuse and they will have the fight come to them. Ozpin interjects and offers Yang in trade for the Spring Maiden, to which everyone, Qrow included, goes “WHAT THE ACTUAL F, DUDE!?” The two have a little back and forth as Ozpin makes clear that she chose to have these powers and points out that if she was salty about being able to turn into a bird at free will without any drawbacks, he could gladly take them back by force. This casual threat is enough to make Raven back off, only to warn the others that a storm is coming.

With that, Ozpin is forced to explain quite a bit. This, unfortunately, is where we can’t mince the scene, since Ozpin has to explain what’s going on. I guess the only way to make it more effective is a little back and forth where the characters share what they do know about Ozpin’s magic and Ozpin fills them in on what they don’t. First and foremost, Yang is not upset about Ozpin and BIRDS. The person being upset is Jaune, especially since Ozpin reveals that not only did he create the Maidens in the first place, but also that by “reincarnate” he meant inhabit the body of a young boy. This is made worse when he reveals accidentally that he is able to reincarnate earlier than intended if he chooses to die instead of being killed.

This sets Jaune off since, as far as he can tell, Ozpin is responsible for Pyrrha’s death more than Cinder. Cinder may have killed her, but it’s Ozpin who not only put Pyrrha in that position, but also paved the way for Cinder to overpower her. Before they could get into a tussle, Yang shouts and has Ozpin promise “no more lies, no more half truths”. He obviously lies about promising that and Qrow can see the crossed fingers behind his back.

We then end with Cinder and co arriving to make negotiations with Raven.

Episode 8

The beginning actually stays the same, all things considered. The only massive change is that Yang is not easily convinced to want Blake back because Weiss told her “lol, my mummy was drunk so shut it”. In fact, we see the others talk about Blake and Jaune is the most bitter, even more than Yang, because Blake was a White Fang member and refused to share any information regarding them, which could have led to an easier time dealing with the Fall.

Ruby puts her foot down and tells Jaune to stop being so salty over Pyrrha’s death, but is quickly outvoted since Ren and Nora are also upset that Pyrrha died. She’s frustrated and goes to interrupt Qrow and Ozpin discussing what to do regarding Raven. She asks Ozpin what he knows about the Silver Eyes, saying how it’s the only thing that might incapacitate Vernal. Ozpin tells her he doesn’t know too much about Silver Eyes, as he did not have any himself, but reassures her that the Silver Eyes would have no impact on a Maiden.

Raven and Cinder chat and Cinder makes it clear that it’s time for the Spring Maiden to relinquish her powers to her, reassuring Vernal that she can make it quick and painless. Raven stops Cinder and says that Ruby and the others have set their sights on the Spring Maiden and that if she were to take them now, she’d have a target on her back, reminding Cinder of the Silver Eyes. She then makes a proposal. Salem has given them a blank check on how Haven falls since they have all the cards on the table, so why not kill two birds with one stone… Or rather, kill one crow and seven kids with one army?

Blake’s bit with Ilia stays the same as well, but the difference is that Ilia wants to keep Blake for herself instead of sending her to Adam, saying how she can keep her safe. Yes, this edges her more into the Psycho Lesbian route, but unintentionally. She genuinely cares for Blake’s well-being and not in some sort of yandere bit. Sun intervenes and the group runs back to the house while the guards have a war with the White Fang.

Episode 9

We instantly kick off the Battle of Menagerie instead of a long, drawn out sequence of Raven talking with Cinder. It mostly stays the same, but how the house catches fire is different. Blake sees Ilia in the dark, shoots her and goes “rly?”, though, in the middle of this, the Albains begin to fight amongst each other.

Corsac is willing to kill the Belladonnas for the cause (“THEY’VE GIVEN US NOTHING BUT GRIEF!”) while Fennec is trying to convince him that Adam is a lost cause and they need to replace him. During this scuffle, it’s revealed that Corsac was the one who set up that roadside ambush that killed Ghira, believing that Ghira was weak and that they needed a stronger leader ready to give the Faunus much needed progress. Fennec tells him that all it’s given them is chaos.

The two clash and set the house ablaze. Ilia realizes that Blake would be in immediate danger and struggles to save her instead of seeing the assassination to the end, thus redeeming her as she nearly dies saving Blake. Sun sacrifices himself to get Kali out of the burning building, but its revealed to have been his Semblance at work. When Sun shows up, Blake finally slaps him for realises, and this time, for good reason.

Blake gives her “humans didn’t do this” speech, Ilia playing a recording of Corsac’s hand in Ghira’s death, and this motivates the crowd to fight for Haven. Fennec emerges, heavily burned and carrying his brother’s tattered cloak. He has much to atone for and offers to remain on Menagerie with Kali to establish a new White Fang, giving Blake the task to destroy the old one. Ilia, Sun, and Blake go with the Menagerian army to Haven, with their captain, having comedically been neglected all Volume, finally getting the spotlight… He’s going to steal Robyn’s line of “still here, everyone” because honestly, that has a better spot here than in the show proper.

Episode 10

Lionheart messages the crew that Raven had left Vernal at his office and they go. They know full well it’s a trap and so Qrow elects to stay behind in bird form. Lionheart instantly stammers and freaks as he sees kids and not Qrow.

Lionheart: W-where is Qrow?

Ruby: I don’t know if you’ve heard of us, but we’re Teams RWBY and JNPR. We’ve accomplished many things without an adult to save us or tell us what to do-

Weiss: Uh, technically-

Ruby: {whispers to Weiss} Ssssh! You’re ruining my groove! {speaks to Lionheart} Even though we’re incomplete, our friends are by our side. And that’s why… {she points her sniper rifle at Lionheart} We’re not going to fall for your tricks!

As she fires, a fireball comes out and there’s a large explosion as Cinder flies through the smoke. The Battle of Haven begins as, one by one, the villains enter the fray. First Cinder, then Emerald and Mercury, then Raven and Vernal, and lastly Hazel. Lionheart is reluctant to fight, but Oscar forces his hand.

Meanwhile, outside, Qrow is attacked by Adam and the two duel it out for the episode. Maybe have Qrow quip a line like “so, you’re the one who severed my niece’s arm? Well, why don’t you give me a leg?” and some joke about equivalent exchange that would be funnier if Vic had voiced Qrow in this universe.

I’m not gonna sugar coat it, the Battle of Haven, at least in the opening act, is a battle royale and one that V5 should have been. We have six people going up against six people, each of them taking turns at their opponents and switching out every now and then, the only consistent battle pairings are Qrow vs. Adam and Lionheart vs. Ozpin. By the midway point, though, the fight has been finalized to…

· Jaune vs. Cinder

· Ren vs. Raven

· Weiss vs. Vernal

· Nora vs. Emerald

· Yang vs. Mercury

· Ruby vs. Hazel

Each of them gives their own reason why they’re fighting. Jaune and Ren want to make their opponent pay, Weiss wants Vernal to give her back her weapon (yeah, she never gave it back), Yang is angry that Mercury framed her, Nora tries to help Ren but is interrupted by Emerald, and Ruby fights Hazel to reason with him.

Eventually, the battle comes to a head when Emerald uses her illusion powers and Ruby witnesses it. She quickly realizes she caused Pyrrha to dismantle Penny and goes ballistic. Before Emerald knows it, she gets speed blitzed and beaten up by Ruby’s fists. Ruby then chops off Mercury’s prosthetics as soon as she notices them, knocking both out of the fight. It then becomes a little one-sided as Nora helps Ren fight Raven and Yang helps Ruby fight Hazel, where Ruby gives her “I’m angry” line.

Jaune nearly getting killed by Cinder, along with Weiss’s aura running out and screaming in pain, causes Ruby’s Silver Eyes to go off as it begins to burn Cinder. Cinder gives her a fireball to the chest in desperation, destroying Ruby’s aura and leaving her venerable for a hit. Jaune swings his sword and, while he misses like in the original, gives Cinder a deep cut on her cheek, right below where the burn is. Qrow’s fight with Adam knocks him into the room and Adam waltzes in, giving Yang the PTSD trip of a lifetime, not helped by Adam gloating…

“I didn’t realize that when we fought at Beacon, I was facing Raven’s own daughter… Now I know what she means when she said I was the superior child!”

Boom! Plot twist! Adam’s Raven’s son! Well, adopted son. But still!

Also, Cinder decides to make Jaune’s life a living hell by trying to stab Weiss… But Ruby runs and takes the blow for her, ending the episode.

Episode 11

The episode starts off rather similarly, with the exception of Ruby being the one that’s mortally wounded. Jaune cries and says “we need you!”, which given what he said in Volume 4, fits better.

The major remainder of the fight is focused on fighting Hazel, Lionheart and Adam, as Emerald and Mercury are still out of commission and Cinder, Raven, and Vernal f off to the vault. The two prove to be a powerhouse, especially since Hazel powers up Adam’s Moonslices and Lionheart handing Hazel more Dust Crystals. Ruby heals up and tells Jaune “whatever you’re doing, don’t stop”, only for Jaune to go “then don’t take my hands off the wound!”

Pretty standard battle and we have a reveal that Raven was the true Maiden.

Episode 12

The battle comes to a second head when Blake’s army arrives, forcing Adam to leave the battle and confront Blake. His fight happens like before, but Blake appears behind him instead of in the path of the blade.

Hazel, meanwhile, is not tiring out for a second. Not even a stab from a Lancer is enough to take him out. Ruby comes to and evens out the battle by speed blitzing him. Yang and Blake meet each other for the first time, but as Yang tries to reconcile with Blake, not only is she reminded of the bitter words she gave her in V3, but Adam’s presence makes it a hard-emotional hurdle to break. As soon as Oscar warns Yang that the Relic of Knowledge should not fall in to the wrong hands (during this, he explains what’s so important about the Vault), Yang goes after Raven, Cinder, and Vernal, much to Ruby’s dismay. She ends up losing her arm from Mercury grabbing it.

The Battle of the Bitches remains unchanged because it is GOAT.

Episode 13

The final episode of the Volume (because Volumes 6 & 7 are also 13 episodes long) has Blake defeating Adam, with Sun breaking off one of his horns because Monkey King. Sun gives chase, only for Adam to almost kill him were it not for Ilia saving Sun. You can have it so that Ilia is killed by Adam here.

Blake joins in and we have a fight scene with Hazel & Lionheart vs RWBJNROQ. It’s short, but everyone gets a hit in. Ruby realizes that there’s only one way to stop Hazel. She flies over and aims her sniper rifle at the Dust Crystals on Hazel’s arms. Weiss and Blake hold Hazel down with Glyphs and Shadows as Hazel looks at Ruby. He quickly realizes what she’s doing and asks:

Hazel: What do you think you’re doing!? What would Gretchen think of this?!

Ruby: … You made your choice.

BANG! As the sniper rifle hits the crystal, it triggers a chain reaction that causes Hazel to explode, killing him in the process.

Cut to Yang and Raven. The two have a stand off as Yang begins to piece everything together. We have a flashback of the fall of Kuroyuri, this time from the little girl’s perspective. She’s upset since she brought the Bandits to the place and caused enough havoc to have it be destroyed by Grimm. She protests this to Raven who, having run out of patience for her, stabs her and says how she’ll use her powers in ways she can never imagine, mirroring how Cinder killed Pyrrha.

Yang bitterly calls out Raven for murdering a child and Raven claims it was mercy. They get into a heated argument, but no one wishes to move. It becomes apparent that, with Raven out of aura and Yang without an arm and also having very low aura, this battle will not only be quick, but deadly. And yet, the battle lasts for a good chunk of time as the two try to avoid getting hit, Yang out maneuvering Raven while Raven uses her magic. It ends with Yang delivering a fatal punch to Raven’s gut as Raven lays dying in her arms. Raven warns her that, should she take the Relic, Salem will hunt her down. As such, she refuses to give her the Maiden Powers and dies without Yang in her thoughts. Yang goes to get the Relic, then begins to cry.

Emerald awakens from the sound of the explosion and finds that she is out numbered. She goes all “CINDER WILL TAKE ALL OF YOU OUT!” before Yang comes up and devastates Emerald so much, she makes the Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Salem. However, this isn’t a jump scare. Rather, it’s a full-on boss battle as RWBY try to face it like in the opening. While they realize it’s a hallucination, their mind makes it so real that one hit from it is enough to knock Yang out.

Lionheart sees this and, deciding to be brave for the first (and last) time in a long while, stockpiles the remaining Dust Crystals he has and tells the others to get out as he deals with the illusion. Before they do, he tells Oscar to tell the others about his betrayal. Although he was brave in this final moment, he wants everyone to know he was always a coward. He then sets the crystals into overdrive and explodes, taking both him and the illusion out, but also collapsing Haven’s main hall down and with it, the entrance to the Vault.

The group are confronted with police and concerned Faunus… Cut to a few days later as Menagerian Faunus are welcomed with open arms and news of Lionheart’s heroic sacrifice makes headlines. A manhunt is put out for Adam, Emerald, and Mercury, with Cinder being presumed dead.

After having rested for a bit, Ruby confronts Jaune about wanting to kill Cinder and tells him that she doesn’t feel anything good when she hurt Emerald and Mercury and even feels horrible for having killed Hazel. Nora and Ren join in and tell Jaune not to doubt himself for a second. Basically, that bit in V7 is here. RNJR disbands, but not without a tearjerking remark from Jaune where he says that “at least one team is back together”… Not bitterly, surprisingly enough. Oscar joins in and asks Jaune if he’s willing to take him in. Jaune asks for his name so they can figure out how to name themselves and when he hears that it’s Oscar Pine, he just chuckles and says “Well, there’s always JNPR…”

Blake and Yang are clearly shown to not be back together, but Yang is willing to let Blake stay for now because that’s all that matters. Weiss and Ruby talk about Ruby sacrificing herself for Weiss and she chews her out in a rather sweet way. Qrow, meanwhile, pours one out for Raven. She may have been a bitch, but she was still his sister. Oscar comes and calls for a meeting. With the vault no longer accessible for the time being and the Spring Maiden having gone to someone random, they have no choice but to leave for Atlas. There’s a pause before Weiss goes “WHAT THE FU-”

Roll credits.

DVD Exclusive Episode

This is where we have the STRQ flashback episode now that one of the core members is dead. It is a simple how they formed and how they eventually left, with Raven leaving STRQ on her own terms soon after she’s inducted into the shadow war, Summer leaving on her final mission assigned by Ozpin, and Taiyang retiring as a Huntsman. Qrow, the last one, laments on how everyone he loves is gone and is driven to drink more, foreshadowing to his alcoholism spike in V6. Ozpin comes to him and gives him a rather heartwarming speech about how time heals all wounds, using RWBY and JNPR as examples of this.

As he ends the speech, we end on a small girl in the middle of Shion village, now going through a rebuilding, before her eyes flare up and she begins to use gusts of wind to help clean up the debris.

And that’s how you tweak Volume 5. Granted, a lot of stuff has been changed and makes at least one hole in the V6 Tweak, namely the DVD exclusive episode for that. To which I say… Make it an extended look at the beginnings of Remnant 2.0. Apparently, there was a lot more information RT couldn’t squeeze into The Lost Fable, so do that.

With that, the Tweaking Series is finally done. I don’t think I’ll do V8 unless it proves to be just as problematic as V7, V6, or V5. This has been a rather entertaining ride and I hope you guys loved these entries. Adios, amigos.

#RWDE #Rewrite #RWBY #RWBY Rewrite

[detectivejigsawpines]

Hideous Creatures-part 8 (Showdown)

Surprisingly, Stan was late in showing up at the glen the next morning.  And his cart was missing.

At once Ford was suspicious-he knew his twin far too well to think he was throwing in the towel and surrendering the bet, so he was definitely up to something.

He was about to go looking for his brother, when a new crowd of tourists began filtering through the trees-even bigger than the ones that had come in the last two days.

Maybe this was his plan-to try to overwhelm me by making me deal with all of them at once.  Nice try, Stanley.

Ford cleared his throat, and drew himself up to his full height like he had when giving presentations in school.

“Greetings, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Tours of Mystery!  I’ll be your host today-”

Before he could continue, his eardrums were nearly imploded by the blare of a horn.

Ford whirled around in time to see Stan come roaring into place in his cart.

Which was now covered in bright red, glittery paint, and had a sign reading “MYSTERY TOURS (™)” on the roof that was decorated with bright, flashing neon lights until it looked like a traveling carnival wagon.

Stan himself was wearing the same suit and fez as usual, but his tie was the same shade of red as the carts, and it looked like some glitter might have gotten splashed on the suit as well.  And as he screeched to a halt and leaped out, grinning widely and lifting his arms (which somehow earned him a chorus of cheers from the crowd), Ford noticed that his eyes, though wide and smiling like normal, were also somewhat bloodshot and manic-looking, like he hadn’t gotten anywhere near enough sleep and was trying to make up for it with an overdose of caffeine.

...Not that Ford knew about that from personal experience or anything.

“Howdy, folks!” Stan boomed.  “Sorry I’m late, I was getting a few extra things set up for the tour of your lives!  I’m your other host, Mr. Mystery, here ta show you befuddlements and wonders the likes of which your kinds have never seen before!”

Ford saw one of his hands twitch, and a few seconds later actual fireworks came bursting from the back of the cart, exploding in the air above them.

The crowd loved it.  Ford didn’t.

In fact, he decided he’d finally had it.

“Really, Stanley?!” he demanded over the cheering.  “You’re trying to upstage me?”

“Seems like I’m not just trying,” Stan retorted, folding his arms and grinning.  “Face it, Poindexter-I’m better at gaining a crowd’s interest than you are.”

Ford scoffed.  “Wow. I’m surprised that you didn’t do something like steal my keys or slash my tires, if you’re sinking low enough to try to sab-”

As soon as the last part left his lips, he realized that that was going too far.  His words screeched to a halt.

“No, I-I didn’t mean that-”

****

There was no finesse or grace to this next part.  In fact, it mostly consisted of them scuffling and shoving each other in the dirt, similar to when they were little and had gotten into one of their rare arguments that was bad enough to devolve into fighting.

Many of the tourists stared at them in confusion...but several loved it.

“Whoa, humans fighting!” exclaimed a new figure in a black hoodie who also may or may not have been a vampire, pushing through the crowd to watch in delight.

“I gotta preserve this for the kids!”  An unusually hairy guy pulled out a video camera and pointed it at the fighting brothers.

“My money’s on the bigger one!”

“Nah, the one with the extra fingers!  That probably gives him an advantage!”

Oblivious to all this, the brothers wrestled back and forth, one of them enraged beyond words, the other trying ineffectively to placate him.

“Stanley-stop-I wasn’t-”

“The heck you weren’t!”  Stan wrestled Ford to the ground, pinning him by the shoulders.  “You think I’d do that ta you again?  Just because I’m not gonna let you take this away from me doesn’t mean I’m gonna stoop that low!”

Something about the way he said that made Ford tilt his head and frown at him.

“...Take this away?”

Stanley’s rage dissipated a little bit, and his eyes darted to the side.

“N-Nothin’.  You wouldn’t understand.”

“Well, not if you don’t tell me.”  Ford managed to extricate himself without any struggle on his brother’s part, and sit up, expression open and inviting.

Stan bit his lip, before finally saying, “...I’m just tryna pull my own weight, okay?  I’m tryna make sure I’m not leeching off you, and this job is the first thing I’ve found that I was really good at.  Something that made real money, where my skills as a liar and cheater were good for somethin’.  These people like what I’m selling, and they keep coming back for more, and it’s not even really illegal stuff for the most part, and it’s-it’s fun.  And you just-all you see is a waste of time ta be gotten rid of.”  He sat back, hugging himself uncomfortably.

After a second of processing all this, Ford murmured, “I thought you viewed this whole tours thing as just another con.  I didn’t know you felt that way about it.”

Stan snorted.  “Yeah, obviously.”  Then, with less venom, “But it’s not like I told you.”

“That’s not the point; I should have been able to see it from how much you were enjoying it.”  Ford scooted around until Stan was more or less looking at him. “And you’re not leeching off me at all, Stanley-how can you say that?  You’ve provided me with more samples of unicorn hair and gnome hair and stuff than I know what to do with! I would never have even gotten unicorn hair if you hadn’t set up your business with them-not to mention you’ve been bringing home actual gold!  You haven’t been just pulling your weight-you’ve been surpassing me in doing so.”

Stan shrugged a little, but he did look somewhat pacified at the reminder of the gold.

“Sorry about...gettin’ all annoyed when you tried ta correct me about stuff.  I know you like it when people have the facts. I just don’t feel like a lot of these jokers are ready for them, ya know?”

“...Yes, you might be right,” Ford admitted.

“Eh, it happens once in a blue moon.”

They smiled a little at each other.

“...So, are we gonna have tours now or what?” yelled a creature that appeared to be a mix between a bear and an owl standing at the edge of the crowd.  Several cryptids grumbled in disappointment about the fighting having stopped; another, which looked like a giant bird with the face of an old woman, wiped her eyes on her wing and sniffled, “Reconciliations are so beautiful!”

“Yeah, yeah, keep your fur on!” Stan called back to the owlbear, before getting to his feet and offering Ford a hand up.

Both of them were scraped and bruised, and their clothes and hair were covered in grass and dirt.  But Stan went and retrieved his fez, and Ford cleaned off his glasses (thanking heaven that they hadn’t been broken in the fight), and they began organizing who went into which cart.

****

After the tours were done for the day, they brought their profits back home, and found Dan sitting on their front porch.

He looked at their disheveled appearances with a raised eyebrow, before finally asking, “...What happened?”

“Accident,” Ford said, at the same moment that Stan said, “Beavers.  Giant meat-eating beavers.”

Dan gave an amused grin as he stood up.

“Knowing what this town’s like, I could almost believe that.”  He chuckled as they stalked past him inside.  “Told ya to fix your issues the manly way.”

The barrels, when they poured the profits into them, were both overflowing.

“...Does that mean we both win, or we both lose?” Stan asked.

“Yes,” Ford said, catching a few gold coins before they could fall to the floor.  “So I guess that means we need to come up with a compromise.”

He went on, “I guess the tours can stay.”

“Yes!”  Stan punched the air in delight.

“We may need to work out a few extra details later, but yes.  They can stay. In the meantime, I believe there were other aspects to the wager…”

The jubilation faded from his brother at once.  “Yeah, about that-”

He rushed for the stairs.

“STANLEY!!”

****

Later

The omelette felt like it was doing weird things to Ford’s tongue; when he finished he’d have to check in the mirror to see if it had been turned to plaid.  With a grimace he added more salt and pepper to see if that would make the flavor any better.

Stan came into the kitchen and headed for the fridge, pulling out a can of Pitt.

“How’d it go?” Ford asked after swallowing his mouthful.

Stan shrugged.  “Fine.”

“...Just fine?  What did he say?”

“Not much.”

“What did you say?”

“...Not much.”

Ford glared at his back.  “You hung up after asking to speak to him, didn’t you?”

“Not exactly…”  Stan said innocently.

Ford groaned.  “What did you say to him?”

Stan popped the tab on the soda.  “Pretended to be a telemarketer, and he hung up.”

“Stan-!”

“Hey, you never said anything about me needing ta tell him who I was.”  He smirked, and left the kitchen.

Ford rolled his eyes, and finally dumped the rest of the omelette in the trash, figuring if Stan was only going to half keep his side of the deal then he was too.

It wasn’t even that he wanted Stan to try to reconcile with Pa, or be accepted by him again, he mused to himself.  Having learned more about what his brother had gone through since being kicked out, he certainly didn’t feel like having a friendly conversation with their father anytime soon; and besides, Pa seemed to have no regrets whatsoever about getting rid of his own son.  But…

But it felt like Stan should try to find some kind of closure with him.  Even if it was just to tell him to go to hell.

Ford sighed, and washed his dishes in the sink.  And then turned his mind to more light-hearted matters, such as figuring out what new attractions to show the supernatural visitors to Gravity Falls.

********

Since Ford needs some days off to do his research, Stan ends up being the one in charge of most of the tours, with Dan sometimes pitching in too. He also sets up a gift shop in the forest that sells things like abandoned car keys, light switches, and other human stuff that in this context is absolutely useless but that the supernatural creatures go ga-ga over.

Ford, when he has time to spare, gives classes to monsters who are interested in learning more about human stuff-and he even has to teach some monsters basic skills such as reading and writing, and how to read human signs, which decreases the amount of supernatural roadkill in the area by 50%. He makes more of the brochures, and Stan starts handing them out during his tours too. They're able to make quite a decent profit off their business, and if people in town ask Stan where he and his brother get their money from (after he takes some of the gold to the city and sells it) he says that they had a rich uncle who left them a large inheritance as long as they continue living in Gravity Falls.

It's funny how effective lies are as long as there's a grain of truth to them. Because after all, they're unlikely to get paid for things in gold and jewels anywhere else.

#gravity falls #stan being mr mystery #ford being dr mystery #dan corduroy #mundane tours #compromise #filbrick pines is a jerk #conflict resolution #boys fighting it out #then actually talking

[cristian-capulet]

Hole In My Heart [Cris & Leo]

Who: Cristian and Leonardo Capulet

What: Meet to have a talk after their less than stellar run in the week prior. 

Where: Park

When: 11AM on February 8th

Summary: Seeking closure, Cristian invites Leo to have a chat with him in a public space after their fight the week prior, and running into each other again the night after. More information comes to light that leads Cristian to make some suggestions to Leo about his future, and instead of shutting Leonardo entirely out of his life, Cristian ends up finding himself offering to help.

Warnings: Mention of PTSD, mental health discussion.

Leo fidgeted with his tie and collar as he walked through the park. He was still in a bit of disbelief at the fact that he was even here. Cris had asked him to talk, but... did he even deserve a chance to speak to him? No. No he didn't, but he had the opportunity, and damn if he didn't want a chance to see Cristian again. As he got closer, he saw Cristian there waiting for him, and he slowed slightly as he closed the distance between them. With a coffee in hand, he took a deep breath before stopping next to the bench. "Hey..." He said in greeting, it was weak, but any of his familiar greetings with him wouldn't be welcome anymore. "Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long."

Inviting Leo to chat hadn’t been easy for the submissive. He was still incredibly angry and betrayed, but knew it stemmed from just how strong his love for Leo had been when they’d been together. How much he admittedly still cared... Cristian hoped if anything perhaps conversing with Leonardo would offer some form of closure for himself— realizing he had questions and emotions he wanted answered and validated... just not on the spot in a grungy men’s bathroom at a bar. He felt... more composed now. Ready to talk and figure out what went wrong. Or... at least that’s what he’d told himself prior to texting the invitation to Leo. The submissive had spent the morning in a tizzy, and had been fumbling with a long empty coffee cup for a solid twenty minutes prior to the Dominant’s arrival, dead set on being the first to arrive. “No- not at all,” he answered, shaking his head politely. His fingers nervously continued to play with the lid of his disposable coffee cup as his eyes quickly raked over Leo’s form in curiosity. “Thank you for agreeing to chat...Please— sit.”

Leo cleared his throat as he slowly took a seat next to Cristian on the bench. Nerves were eating at him, not knowing what to expect out of this meeting. He thought that he had said his goodbye, then there had been the drunk texts, and he thought that was goodbye. Now there was this. It was only fair that Cristian got to leave on his own terms, and surely that's what this was. There was no other way for them, not after what he'd done. He just hoped he could get through the meeting without becoming a complete wreck in front of the submissive. "Of course. I wouldn't have said no to you." He stopped himself from saying anything else by taking a sip from his coffee cup. After a moment he said, "So... you've got me here now..."

“I wanted to first off.... apologize again for having forced our initial conversation in that bar... and again for texting you the next day,” he began, gaze lingering on his cup as he spoke. He had no regrets chasing after Leo at the bar, but wished perhaps he’d found another way to do it still. “But then... I was hoping you might be willing to talk about... it.” He let his voice drop off a moment before Cristian added, “What... wasn’t working... What maybe I guess— if there was anything I could have done that I failed to do to— to prevent what happened.” it felt impossible to say it. Any way to prevent you leaving me. To prevent us Falling apart. “I know you were having nightmares and you mentioned at the bar... Alex... But— I guess... ghosting me? Everyone? Your sudden disappearance was... was really hard, Leo. Even though the texts all said delivered, a small part of me honestly wasn’t sure you were alive.”

They were going right into it, it appeared. That's fine. Leo was much more comfortable with people being direct. He hated people dancing around the real point, although when it came to difficult topics like this, he had become a master at avoiding the point. This time? He vowed honesty. No more hiding the truth, dancing around it, deflecting, or changing topics. Whatever Cristian wanted from him, he would give, if he could. "Well, for starters, you have nothing to apologize for. Nothing at all." He glanced over at the male, even though he noticed Cristian's eyes on the cup in his hands, Leo couldn't take his eyes away from him. "If that's what you want to talk about... I'll tell you anything you want to know. Although, I think it's important that you understand that there's nothing that you failed to do. I was - I am a bit lost and a lot broken. I was hoping you wouldn't notice the nightmares, but I suppose that's impossible..." Leo ran his fingers through his hair with a sigh. "This... these issues started long before us. Long before I came back to Verona, truth be told. I should've told you sooner. I..." His brow furrowed, realizing he was going to be putting himself in a headspace he didn't like to be. "Honestly, you made me forget for a while... before you, I had difficulty sleeping straight through the night. With you there, I was able to somehow relax enough to make it through a night and I began to heal, really... It's hard to explain what it's like to be in charge of lives, and to see those lives lost. It's not something you can just get over."His fingers tapped a rhythm on the cup as he tried to keep himself calm, but his eyes seemed distant as he found himself back there. Seeing each one of those young faces lost and under his command. "I left the military because I couldn't deal with the loss. I couldn't... I couldn't have them trust me, follow me, and lose them it was too much after a while. So... when I started this mission to help with Oz... I didn't think that I would have to worry about loss. They were my responsibility, Cris. They weren't trained to do what I was. It was my job to make sure they weren't hurt and I lost him. It's my fault that he's dead. Alex should've..." His voice caught and his brow furrowed. "Well, it's my fault. They trusted me to bring them home, and I failed. So, losing him brought it all back, and you weren't there with me when it happened and... well, the nightmares returned, and worse. The only time I felt somewhat normal was with you, but I couldn't tell you... I couldn't admit my failure out loud. It's easy to say that you don't think it's my fault, but how could it not be?" He asked, it was a rhetorical question, and he moved on. "So, when you say you want to know if there's anything you failed to do... no, you were everything I needed. It was my fault, my inability to see past my fears, past my grief, past all my failures. I felt like I would bring you down, or that I would ruin us, or that you would see me as a failure, and I couldn't handle that. Cris, I would not have survived if you saw me as the failure I think I am."There was a moment where he tried to think of what next to say and then he said, "Like I said before, I regretted the decision. I was second guessing myself before I did it. The problem was I thought it was right, it wasn't. I truly thought I was doing what was best for you. I thought I was protecting you from my self-destruction. Little did I know that you were my only sanity." He shook his head and looked down at the cup he held in his hands.

Cristian didn’t speak for a moment after, trying to fully process the response after— quite a bit more detailed than at the bar. From what it sounded like... Leo had PTSD from his time spent in the military, and Alex passing had triggered it. And Cristian... has failed to connect the dots. He hated the fact he hadn’t ever thought much about the other’s mental health— and any issues he might have had associated with time spent serving. He could never judge Leo for it— heavens knew he would have similar issues in his shoes— but instead judged himself for not knowing or presuming there might be something along those lines at play still that was hurting the Dominant. Was he upset still for how Leo had handled everything— how he’d ripped the choice from Cristian’s hands and left him? Absolutely. But hearing how mentally broken he was and continued to be... Part of him wanted to ask why Leo hadn’t changed fields entirely to something less stressful, or if he’d ever seen a professional for help at any point in his life. Someone who could help him process these events and move past them... Cristian appreciated knowing his impact on the other, but also wondered how healthy such a dependency could be. Regardless, it broke his heart knowing even if he disagreed with Leo’s actions, the Dominant had thought he had to go it alone and further isolate himself from everyone— perhaps the very last thing he should have done. At least when he left, Cristian had had family and friends to fall back on. Did Leo allow himself... anyone? Cristian reaches for Leo’s coffee cup, gently yet firmly taking it from him as well as his own, setting both on the ground. “Come here,” he urged then as he sat back up, opening his arms wanting to pull the older male into a hug.

Once it was out in the open Leo felt... raw. Far to exposed. He wanted to find a way to take it all back, bury it behind the face he showed to everyone else, the one that appeared to have himself put together and in control. Except, somehow, with admitting that he had these issues meant that he could no longer push them aside and pretend they didn’t exist. He wondered how he was going to survive the night now that he’d admitted things to someone else, and was trying to think of ways to do that when his coffee cup was removed from his hands. Leo didn’t fight, his eyes merely looking to the submissive wondering what was going on until he heard the words spoken and saw his arms open. Moving slowly, his body closed the small distance between them, arms wrapping around the other’s frame as if he couldn’t believe he had this opportunity. After a moment he squeezed his eyes shut, dropping his face into the curve of the submissive’s neck as emotions hit him harder than he expected. This was where he felt safest. Why had he pushed this away? He might have found a way to heal if he’d only trusted this information to Cristian sooner. “I’m sorry...” he mumbled into the other’s shoulder lost in the sadness, and guilt that overwhelmed him, and the relief to feel as though he wasn’t alone anymore.

It didn't matter that Leo had hurt Cristian deeply in that moment-- or that they had a lot to work past. The submissive could plainly see the other was hurting, and while it might have been easy to say it was well-deserved, Cristian knew this was much more than that. It genuinely hurt him as well seeing Leo suffering like this and knowing he'd been struggling with this for so long. Why did he still work security? Could he... Move to a less violently inclined version of it that wasn't as likely to involve someone getting hurt? He supposed that was what Leo had already intended until things had taken a twist in Verona thanks to the Romano family. His arms wrapped snuggly around Leo's frame, sighing gently. One arm encircling Leo's back as the other gently cradled the nape of his neck "I know you are, Leo," he answered back gently. "I know, sweetheart." The pet name rolled off his tongue with  a familiar yet sad ease, wishing there was more he could do or say. It felt wrong to try to verbalize so much so quickly though-- to try to suggest Leo start speaking to a professional, or to ask why he hadn't switched careers entirely. "Everything will be okay, I promise you," he added instead, content to let silence fill the void as he held Leo close. How things would be okay-- Cristian wasn't sure yet. But as much as he thought things were over between the Dominant and himself, he couldn't simply leave Leo in the state he was in-- especially knowing now that the man was keeping all of this to himself. He wasn't even sure what the next steps would be, but he knew the best thing at the moment was reassurance. Leo would get better... Cristian would make sure of it.

Hearing Cristian trying to comfort him helped to calm him slowly. He had opened himself up to a reality he had kept locked up tight and tried to hide away. This was a culmination of years worth of pain, grief, and blame hitting him in waves. He held onto Cristian tightly, and that promise that everything would be okay finally helped to calm the storm of emotions. Slowly the crying stopped, his breathing normalized, and as he composed himself he turned his head away from Cristian as he cleaned off his face. Unable to look the submissive in the eye at first. He’d never broken down in front of anyone, and here he was looking weak in front of the person whose opinion mattered more to him than anyone else. “Sorry... I shouldn’t have... usually, I’m much more in control of... And this is... it’s a lot to deal with, a burden that I should’ve been able to handle...” He hadn’t wanted to unload this on Cristian, and he felt a sense of embarrassment at this, but at the same time he realized yet again... he wasn’t alone. Cristian hadn’t shoved him away once he learned the truth. “Thank you...” he said softly, still unable to meet the other male’s eyes.

Cristian fished a tissue from his pocket when Leo pulled away— one he’d brought Incase he himself had needed it. He leaned down to grab the Dominant his coffee, holding it out for Leo take along with the facial tissue. “If I’m not allowed to apologize, then you aren’t either, Leo,” he chided softly.  “It is a lot to deal with... more than most do their entire lives. But you’re wrong thinking you’re somehow suppose to be able to somehow cope with this all alone.” Hell, Cristian hadn’t done that when Leo left... he had friends and family, and had even sought professional help after a few months in order to get his own life in order... And what he’d gone through was far less traumatic than feeling lives were lost due to him.

Taking his coffee cup again, as well as the tissue, Leo focused on the things in his hand as he listened to Cristian. He gave a small shrug. “It seems like a poor excuse, my having to deal with a lot. And to think... I chose the military life.” A rueful smile crosses his features. “Seems I’m good at making terrible life decisions.” He took a deep breath and then took another sip of coffee. It felt natural, right even, for him to confide in Cristian. He knew he had no right to unload on the submissive, not when they weren’t together anymore. Still, he felt relieved it was him and not anyone else. This understanding wouldn’t have come from most, but that wasn’t terribly surprising, Cristian had always been good to him despite his past. “I hope you don’t still think you’ve failed me, or us, in some way. I don’t think you can be at fault in any of this. I just wish... that I’d realized I needed support sooner, that maybe I didn’t have to hold it in and try to deal with it all alone... and poorly, might I add.” God, it would be a miracle if his liver would survive past 45 at the rate he’d been going lately. “I just... I don’t know what to do,” he admitted softly. This was territory he hadn’t crossed before. For once he wasn’t confident in his next steps, or even the least bit sure.

The submissive’s  lips curled into a frown. He did feel  he’d failed Leo in some aspects— such as never realizing he suffered any forms of PTSD or noticing the signs. He realized now he’d put Leo up on a pedestal in many regards, not realizing just how faulted the other man was. Leo has simply been so good at hiding it for so long, and Cristian, blissfully ignorant. Still, he wasn’t going to start a fight over this or cause more stress. He sighed softly and reached for his own empty cup. “Well... do you want my advice, Sir?”

His eyes lifted to Cristian at his question. There was a certain nervousness at what the other might suggest. After only a brief moment of consideration, he nodded slowly, he trusted that Cristian would only want what was best for him. “What do you think I should do?”

He hesitated a moment, nervous as to how Leo might take the suggestion. One hand held onto the coffee cup still as the other reached out, gently resting on Leo’s knee. “I don’t know much about your experiences prior to working together for Lord Tybalt... but have you ever tried speaking to someone about this— all of this before? Or... would you be open to trying at least?” He paused a moment, giving Leo’s leg a gently squeeze. “I— I want to help you, Leo, but I think speaking to an unbiased third party might help.. a lot.” Cristian spoke slowly, watching carefully for any sign of Leo pulling away as he continued. “I could even recommend someone— if you prefer it be via phone versus in person. Or... I would be willing to help you find someone you were comfortable speaking with locally here in Breton, if you’d consider it.”

As he listened to Cristian speak, Leo’s brow furrowed. It was hard already, to tell him and admit it to himself. However, he had come to a realization that he certainly couldn’t do this on his own. Cris was being understanding, but could he truly expect the other to listen to some of the gruesome things he had seen? No. He had a feeling if he didn’t get it out then those memories would remain trapped in his mind, a constant reminder of his failure, perhaps this would be another way. Maybe he could find a way to feel less pain over all the lives lost. “I... would... I think maybe I should try...” His eyes went from the hand on Leo’s knee to the other male’s face, looking for reassurance. “Do you think they can help? Do you think you might help me find someone who could really work with me on this? Someone who maybe has experience dealing with people who were in the military... maybe?” He needed someone who could understand what he had been through. Someone who wasn’t just trying to help but knew what someone like him would have gone through. Someone with experience.

Cristian nodded almost immediately, surprised by the other’s willingness to the idea. It was a positive, promising step forward. “Yeah... I can definitely help, Leo,” he responded softly, making a mental note to start looking into locally available resources later than evening. “I’ll see what I can dig up and we can go over your options over coffee or brunch some time in the near future. How’s that sound?” He added with a gentle smile. He was already willing to meet with his ex again apparently, something that he hadn’t envisioned that morning. Inviting Leo to chat was suppose to be for closure... to truly move on— but life apparently had a funny way of ignoring any plans Cristian ever made for himself. Knowing what he knew now, he couldn’t have simply left Leo and cut him out of his life like the other had so desperately tried to do to himself. He wasn’t sure what to call what was between them anymore... Or if he could manage a friendship with his ex, but it hardly felt like either wanted the other completely gone. “We can catch up, too... you can tell me how the new job’s going... it’ll be... nice, yeah?”

Relief flooded him at the idea of having Cristian’s help. Before he knew it, he reached out with his free arm, the one not holding his coffee cup, and pulled him in towards his body. “I can’t thank you enough for this. For everything.” Lord knew he didn’t deserve this kindness. Pulling back, he remained close as a slow and small smile rugged at the corner of his lips. “I’d like that, to meet up and talk about what options you find... and so we can catch up. You can tell me about your job too. I want to know how you like it.” It sounded like Cristian was willing to let him into his life still. That gave Leo hope. Maybe they weren’t together right now, but maybe... maybe someday when he wasn’t so broken. He still loved Cristian more than he had any right to, but he knew as he settled back against the bench, that he needed to work on himself first. However, he wasn’t alone in this. He still had Cris, at least in some form.

#tw: ptsd #tw: mental health #para #leonardo #leo

[marshmallow-phd]

Memories Past

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Supernatural, Wolf Au

Pairing: Kris x Reader

Summary: The last thing Kris wanted was to move on. He was perfectly content wallowing in his misery while pretending everything was okay. But when you come walking into his shop with a broken down car, he realizes the thing he’d been avoiding the most just might be the cure he always needed. He just couldn’t believe that it’d been you all along. Kris had been your best friend when you were kids before he’d moved away without a word of goodbye. Now nearly fifteen years later, you run into him again by pure coincidence. The memories come rushing back to you, stirring something inside. A childhood crush shouldn’t upend your picture perfect life, but sometimes, destiny has other things in mind…

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I Final

**

You made it exactly one week to the day. It’d been a struggle to avoid the auto shop, to not go see Kris again. Over and over, you told yourself that you simply wanted to catch up, to see what his life had been like since he moved away. That was it. Pure curiosity. And a need for closure.

Yet, you found yourself absentmindedly playing with the necklace around your neck whenever your thoughts drifted in Kris’ direction, whether it was in class or at the table, even driving. Huan had noticed it at breakfast the next morning, which was nothing new. He usually noticed everything. 

“I just found it in a box and decided to start wearing it again,” you half-lied. You technically did find it in a box… purposefully. And you did decided to start wearing it again, but you couldn’t quite figure out why. It’d been years since the stone had even seen the light of day. So why did it now feel like a lifeline?

It was the catalyst that led to you giving in and going to see him.

The more you thought about the last time you saw Kris as children, the more steam that was coming out of your ears. It wasn’t fair. Neither he nor his parents had given any indication that they were leaving so you didn’t have time to prepare emotionally. That was a lot for a little kid to go through. 

One day, after calling the landline several times with no answer, you’d went over to the house, knocking and ringing the doorbell to the Wu residence an obnoxious amount of times, but no one ever answered. Standing up on your toes, you’d peaked in through the now curtain-less windows to find nothing but empty rooms. All the furniture was gone, none of the lights were on, and no sounds of possible life echoed off the ivory walls. They’d left without a single word of goodbye.

As a child, you’d been depressed, not understanding what had happened and why. Growing older, that sadness had evolved into anger and frustration. Eventually you made it to the last step and accepted that you might never find out the where’s and why’s and left that part of your past behind.

At least, you thought you’d left it behind, dead and buried.

But like a frog floating in a pot of water on a hot stove, the feelings you’d suppressed for so long slowly bubbled up until it was too late and you were boiling.

On many different occasions you’d opened your mouth to tell Ji Yeon. You saw her several times over the week, either studying together or grabbing a quick meal in between classes in the student center. Each time, you’d almost started to speak to get her opinion on the situation, but you always ended up stopping yourself or just bringing up something else entirely.

Maybe it was just the fact that you didn’t really know Ji Yeon yet. You knew her, but not enough to divulge all this deep rooted anguish that was trying it’s hardest to push itself up to the surface. If given a few months, you might be able to open up to her, but you needed to let these feelings out sooner rather than later.

You certainly couldn’t tell Huan. There was no reason for him to be jealous, but you didn’t want to worry him or make his mind go down the wrong path. It was simply an answer to a long standing question you were needing, that was all.

So, when you had about a two hour break in the afternoon before your next class, you hopped in the car – forgoing your nice parking spot – and drove to the auto shop.

On arrival, you didn’t see Kris. Only Brian and two other mechanics were around, talking and laughing with each other as they worked on the day’s vehicles. Brian was the first one to notice you, giving you a cheeky grin.

“Car messed up already?” he teased.

You shook your head. “No, I was actually looking for Kris. Is he here?”

“Oh, no, he left about an hour ago,” Brian informed you. “I don’t know where he went and he didn’t say when or if he’d be back. Is there anything that I can help you with?”

Great. Just what you needed. To drive all the way here just for it to be the one day the boss doesn’t stay the whole working hours. You guessed that you could just try again in a few days.

“No, that’s okay.”

“Are you sure?” Brian asked.

“I’m sure. I’ll just g-”

“Yeah, boss, that girl from the other day.” One of the other mechanics was on the phone, look at you and motioning for you to wait. “Okay.” Pause. “Yeah, I’ll let her know.” He hung up the cell phone and turned to you fully. “Kris said he’ll be here in ten minutes and that we’re not allowed to let you leave until he gets here.”

You scoffed. That was such a Kris way to phrase it. No asking to please wait for him or to hang tight. Weren’t the years between childhood and adulthood supposed to change at least small bits of one’s personality? Kris apparently never got that memo.

It was less than ten minutes – maybe even closer to five – when Kris came screeching into the small parking lot out front. He jumped out of the car and met you right outside the garage. His breathing was heavy, as if he’d ran here rather than drove.

“Hey,” he greeted.

Pulling your cardigan a little closer to you, even though it was warm out, and folding your arms, you greeted back, “Hey.”

There it was again. That strange feeling in your stomach. It was similar to the feeling you had when you first met Huan, but at the same time, it was different. Almost… more intense, but also undefinable. You didn’t understand what exactly was going on with you. If you were honest, it was frightening you a little bit.

You tried to focus on anything but his face. Bad idea. Gone were the gray, grease covered overalls. Now he was dressed in a plain black T-shirt, skinny jeans and a weathered jean jacket. The smirk you caught before avoiding your eyes just screamed bad boy. Not even an ounce of surprise filled you up.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” you asked suddenly.

Kris smiled a genuine, uncocky smile at you. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s go.”

He led you down the sidewalk, turning right from the garage and into a small business district of the city.

“So,” he said, keeping his eyes forward and hands stuffed in his pockets, “to what do I owe this random pleasure?”

You sighed, somewhat ending it on a laugh. “I don’t know.” That was a blatant lie, but you figured you’d throw him a few soft balls before hitting him with the fast pitch. “I guess to catch up? It’s been a few years since… since I’ve seen you.”

“Yeah, just a few,” he laughed. He kicked a small rock as if that would be an adequate distraction from whatever direction his thoughts were previously headed in.

“What have you been up to?” you asked. The air was thick with awkward tension and you hated it.

Kris shrugged. “Oh, just, you know, the typical stuff. Graduated high school, went to tech school, did some traveling, got my own shop. Nothing too exciting.”

“Really?” You looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Fifteen years and nothing even remotely exciting or interesting has happened to you?”

He still didn’t look at you. “Nope. My life is pretty boring.”

“Is it just you, then? By yourself? No… girlfriend or anything?”

That stopped him in his tracks. He glanced at you from the corner of his eye. “No. Not for a while. It’s just me and my brothers.”

You frowned. “You don’t have any brothers.”

Kris flinched before he continued walking. “Well, yeah, they’re not my real brothers. We just all live together. We’re like family.”

That made you smile. This was nice. This was a good direction for the conversation to go. Just two childhood friends catching up. “How many of you live together?”

Kris scrunched his face as he thought about it. “Minus me… eleven all together.”

Now it was your turn to screech to a stop. “Where the heck can twelve people live together?”

“Junmyeon has a house out a ways in the woods that has plenty of room,” Kris laughed. “His family has had it for generations. Still crowded sometimes, but it’d be lonely without them.”

“I get that. Huan is so quiet sometimes. Makes me miss my parents,” you admitted. It was the bad part about moving. You were now several hundred miles away from the two most important people in your life. Phone calls just weren’t the same as being in the same room as them.

“How are they?” Kris asked eagerly. They always loved it when Kris came over. Just like you were the daughter that Mrs. Wu never had, Kris was your dad’s surrogate son.

“They’re good. Still working in the school system. Dad made it to principal and Mom is still working with special needs kids.”

That really made him smile. “Good, good.”

As kids, you would tease Kris for having a crush on your mom. He always called her an angel. You mom would laugh and tell him that he’d find his own angel someday.

“What about yours?”

The grin immediately disappeared. “They, um – they died. In a car crash a little after I graduated high school.”

Neither of you were walking anymore. You weren’t entirely sure where you were, still surrounded by red brick buildings filled with goods to buy, but it felt like the whole world had been pulled out from under you.

“What?” You could hardly believe it. Kris’ parents were so full of life; generous and loving. For them not to be walking around, to no longer be existing, it was impossible.

“It’s okay,” Kris murmured. “It was long time ago.”

Shaking your head, you wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your cheek against his chest. “I’m sorry, Kris. They didn’t deserve that.”

At first, Kris didn’t move, just standing there stiffly, but you didn’t let go. It felt too nice, holding him like that. When he finally hugged you back, it felt even better. His head rested against your own while his arms encased you in his embrace.

When you were kids, he’d rarely let you hug him. Something about cooties or whatever dumb excuse he could come up with. But on the days that were really bad, the days that you cried because someone bullied you or because your cat died, he would hug you and never let you go. Just like this.

Whoa, (y/n). No. Bad (y/n). You should not be doing this.

Coming to your senses, you cleared your throat and stepped back, once again creating space between you two.

“Sorry,” you mumbled.

Kris shook his head. “Don’t be. I don’t talk about it, but I think I needed that.”

You nodded. “You’re welcome.”

A moment or two passed with neither of you speaking. You didn’t move or continue on the little walk through the neighborhood.

“So, you’ve got a fiance, huh?” Kris asked, changing the subject.

If he thought that he was lifting the sad atmosphere, he was wrong. You were feeling slightly guilty, being alone with a man who wasn’t Huan, one that making your face warm and your stomach flutter. This whole situation was bad, but you couldn't leave. You didn’t want to.

“Yeah, Huan.”

“You happy?”

You looked up Kris, unsure if you heard his question correctly. “Huh?”

“Are you happy?” he repeated.

“Yeah, I guess,” you answered honestly. “He makes me smile. Makes me comfortable.”

Kris scoffed, “That’s it?”

You frowned. “What do you mean?”

“He just makes you comfortable?” Kris mocked. “I don’t know, shouldn’t the love of your life be a little more exciting?”

“No,” you countered. “Sometimes, you get the wild and crazy adventure type love and then sometimes you get the meet, fall in love, be together type of love.”

“Wouldn’t you prefer the first?” Kris pushed.

Annoyed at the turn of the conversation, bravery finally hit you to ask the question you came here for. You crossed your arms and stood your ground before you could run away with your tail between your legs. “Why did you leave?”

Kris stared at you, confused at the direction you’d suddenly gone in. “What?”

“Back then,” you somewhat clarified. “You left without a word. Without saying goodbye. I didn’t know if you were ever coming back or if I’d ever see you again. That’s a lot for an eight-year-old to suddenly go through.”

Kris just shrugged, as if the pain you went through never mattered. “We just had to leave. It wasn’t anything big. My parents didn’t think it was a good place to be anymore.”

“But you just packed up and disappeared,” you argued. “If that was the case, why couldn’t you at least tell me where you were going or that I wouldn’t be able to see you anymore?”

“(y/n),” Kris said sternly, “it doesn’t matter. We just had to go.”

“It does matter, Kris!” you yelled. You could feel the frustration building inside, ready to explode. How could he not care like you did? Were you forcing the issue too much? Were you too desperate for an answer?

“WHY!”

You flinched at the sudden escalation. Obviously, you’d pushed too hard. You didn’t even know how or why. You still shouldn’t be this upset over it. But he was your best friend. Your little world practically revolved around him until you grew up and learned how to make friends on your own.

He backtracked quickly. “(y/n), I’m sorry, that was out of line. I- I can’t tell you exactly why we had to move, just that we did. I’m sorry I never got to tell you goodbye. You weren’t the only one upset by it. You should have seen the fit i threw in front of my parents. But we can’t change it. Maybe now, we can try to be friends again. Not like how we used to be, but… friends.”

By the tone of his voice, you had a strange feeling that he was trying to convince himself more than you on the “friends” part. Did he not want to be friends with you?

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, fiddling with stone around your neck.

“Don’t apologize,” he insisted. Noticing your fidgeting, he reached out, fingers brushing up against yours as he plucked the stone out of your grasp. “Is this what I think it is?”

You lifted your shoulders just drop them again. “Yeah. What about it?”

The corner of his mouth pulled up as he leaned forward just enough to be face to face with you. “Do you still think about me when you see it?”

Rolling your eyes, you told him, “Actually, I’d completely forgotten about it until last week. Don’t flatter yourself.”

“You’re the one who came to my shop, remember?” The cockiness that had taken a small break was back in full force.

“To see an old friend again,” you explained. And to get a very vague answer to your question, but that was okay. It was something, at least.

The look in his eye told you that he was taking that reply with a mountain of salt.

“I have to go.” Not really. You actually had a good half hour before you really needed to head back, but you figured that it was best to leave now.

Dropping your necklace, he sighed. “Okay. I’ll see you back to the shop.”

The walk back was shorter than you expected. Too short. Part of you was reluctant to say goodbye. There was no promise of seeing each other again. It looked like that would be left up to fate once again.

Or your own lack of willpower.

From your rear-view mirror, you could see Kris’ figure growing smaller as he watched you drive away.

**

Watching you drive down the road and then turn left, the buildings blocking you from view, without running after you was too difficult. Especially now that he’d been able to hold on to you.

He hadn’t talked about his parents in a long time, but he knew that you would want to know why they weren’t around anymore. He should have expected your reaction, but your arms around him - and the way he felt when you embraced him - was unexpected. And he hadn’t completely lied about what happened to them.

They did die in a crash, but it wasn’t an accident.

Kris could never find the hunters that stage the incident. Hardly surprising. Hunters were masters at hiding their dirty work and covering up their tracks. Someday, though, he would get his revenge.

The way you’d held on to him, trying to bring him comfort for something he’d learn to bury away had almost made his eyes water. His wolf had howled with delight, feeling your warmth against him. At first, he didn’t want to return the embrace. He didn’t want to give in. But resistance was futile.

And you were wearing that damn necklace.

The stone had come a long way since you’d found it as a kid. It was prettier now, more polished and oval shaped, a silver cap embedded on the top that looped it through the chain. It was a lot like you. As a child, you were always cute, but now you were beautiful, shining like the full moon in a clear sky.

Jumping into the car, Kris didn’t even tell his employees goodbye, trusting them to close up the shop without any hitches.

He didn’t really want to go home, but the race wouldn’t be for another few hours and he didn’t know what else to do. So, the long, lonely drive back up to the farmhouse it was.

No one seemed to be home when Kris walked inside. That was about right since most of them should be in school. Kris laughed to himself. Yes, they would be at school, including Junmyeon. Poor guy. Having a student be his mate was terrible luck.

Then Kris remembered his own.

On the way back to your car, he’d noticed you spinning the ring on your left hand. The wolf egged him on to take the ring and throw it away. It was just a flimsy piece of metal; it couldn’t keep him from his mate.

But it really could.

Up in the bathroom, Kris stared at his reflection in the mirror, fighting with himself. If he really tried to pursue you, to get you to choose him instead of your fiancé, he’d be disrupting the life you’d worked so hard to build. People typically didn’t get engaged on a whim. He didn’t know how long the two of you had been together and he’d feel a little guilty breaking that up.

The wolf growled at his conscious.

But you didn’t seem excited about your fiance. You didn’t light up when Kris brought him up and you didn’t talk about him first. That wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Just the very thought of the person you loved was supposed to make you smile. Not somewhat happy.

In the mirror, Kris’ face was replaced by yours. Those piercing eyes at looked at him so softly, so close to the real thing. Reaching out, Kris grazed his fingers along the glass.

And he gave in.

Yes, you were his mate. The one he was always meant to be with.

If you’d never came back to the shop or taken that walk with him or hugged him so close, he might have been able to hold his resolve. But now that he had a taste – a tiny, almost nonexistent taste – he couldn’t resist the urge to have more. To actually feel your lips against his, to keep your body against his, for him to hold you as the night went on. He needed to call you truly his, for him to be truly yours.

He just needed to come up with a plan.

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