Tumgik
#they were probably working in factories
Text
so there was this pub, the crooked house or the siden house, where im from that was kinda famous for being the "wonkiest pub in britain". its been there since 1765 (it was originally a farmhouse) and let me tell you, the inside was some of the coolest shit ive seen. it was fucking bostin.
but four days ago, it burnt down. now its nothing but rubble, and its being treated as an arson for the investigation.
and just,,, im so gutted. i have that kind of sadness where you feel empty inside because this was our pub. we're an impoverished area and a lot of our country laughs at us for the way we speak, but we're proud of our local culture and history.
honestly the siden house represented us; we're a little wonky bunch with our dialect the most close to old english and banding together like misfits in a movie.
but now its just gone. its one of the few tranklements of our history we get to hold and its just fucking gone, at someones hand. it was probably new developer who just bought it because its the cheapest way to clear a lot.
and i ay even angry at whoever it was, im just sad. as a brit, i hold no pride for my country and the history of it. but i am a proud yam yam, and right now, it just hurts.
#kai rambles#personal#delete later#probably#i just need to vent#because just#i day feel good rn#like ive been to the crooked house and it was so cool and i fucking loved it so much#and it was so unique and it was ours#it just feels like someones took part of my heart away#like i can be proud of my local history because it was the yam yams who dug the canals and mined the coal and built the factories#and transported the coal via canal and built the railroad tracks and built up all our little towns#and obviously there was exploitation happening and you know weve always been a working class area#we got our name the black country from how much dust and coal and steam was in the air round here#theres an entire story where apparently victoria came round in a carriage to visit an area very essential to industrialisation and she#refused to open the curtain on her carriage window because she was so disgusted with us#it was all local folks making the steel and the cars and the chains and the trains and all the rest#obviously we benefited from colonisation like any area of britain but we were also being oppressed and exploited by rich brits ourselves#but so much of our local architecture was built by us and the culture was built by us and the dialect came from us#and the siden house was part of that#and now its simply gone most likely because some fucking clarnet developer decided oh ill do some light arson to cut corners#who cares about our local culture or history? instead you can just laugh at our accents and our dialect and rewatch benefit street!#because weem all backerds roun' here day yow think? eatin faggots and fittle wommucking it down an' gooin to the foot of our stairs?#ar weem right gawbys in yo eyes. goo on gawp at us tek notes if yo want. just doe dither abou' it an' weem haven no more cotter with yow#ye im probably gonna delete this later#i fully just went yam yam slang there#im just upset and a little bit maddened
16 notes · View notes
my-current-obsession · 8 months
Text
Pros of dating Margaret in RF4 - she's very cute and sweet and all around lovely. She's also the only girl to get a skill exclusive to romancing her, and it is BUSTED. Her healing rainbow wave is the best support move in the game, IMO.
Cons of dating Margaret in RF4 - Unless you get obscenely lucky or choose to save scum a lot, you will NEVER be able to marry her.
#rune factory#rf4#rf4 margaret#to be clear this is a SLIGHT exaggeration. eventually you'll get her FOUR required events. but...#expect it to take so long that there is virtually NOTHING left to do in the game#you can EASILY beat rune prana AND do all the eliza requests before being able to marry margaret#and at that point what is left? trying to gold crown all shipment stuff? that's SO tedious and NOT fun#at that point i can't find the motivation to keep playing and just want to start over#fun fact on my FIRST playthrough of the game - before i knew how everything worked - i dated margaret#i fell in love with her almost instantly and get her 'thoughts lost in the lake' event very early on#we were like 3-4 FP level so it felt like the natural and organic point to switch to calling her Meg#and THEN i got her mini-event right before confessing (successfully! on the first try!) at 7#so not only was i REALLY digging her but the game had given me these lovely coincidences to make it feel RIGHT#it just felt so natural and real to date her and i was so excited to eventually marry her#but then. BUT THEN. literal YEARS passed in game. so many dates. affection WELL PAST 10 hearts.#but her other 3 events eluded me. i got ONE eventually. but my patience ran out.#i didn't necessarily want to be a cheater but i knew the game allowed me to date multiple people with no repercussions#so i started confessing to the other girls. at first just clorica since she was my second fave at the time...#but then xiao pai as well since clorica was NOT biting and i could only take so many platonic just friendsly 'i love you too's#i ended up dating xiao pai 2nd and she was the first person i married. and she's probably my favorite girl now#but i kept a save file where i rejected her because i still held out hope for margaret#in the meantime i decided to go for as much content as possible and aimed to date/marry ALL the girls#and let me tell you - i SUCCEEDED. in ONE file where i initially JUST wanted to marry margaret...#i ended up dating and marrying EVERY OTHER GIRL first. and i STILL never got all the events i needed before finally giving up#i like margaret a lot but marrying her is SUCH a pain. on my recent NEW file i got lucky and got 3 of her events in a single year#so my hopes are up and i chose to date her again. but in my mind and heart i know - i FEAR - her final event will just never proc#anyway take it from me - she's a trap. unless you have the patience of a SAINT you should pursue literally anyone else#thank god none of the dudes cause me similar issues
11 notes · View notes
catboyfurina · 3 months
Text
this is tumblr so the answer is absolutely yes but i have to phrase it this way because i am a tumblrina.
do u ever think about how so many people would be perfectly satisfied working manual labor jobs if it werent for the exploitation of it... like if the jobs that Need Doing hired More people for Shorter shifts and paid them a Comfortable wage there would be so many people that would be into that. like SO many people in my experience talk about how nauseating the idea of an office job in a cubicle is and yet ! for some reason! the jobs that pay money are all that sort....
2 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
i like making sonas for things i enjoy actually . heres a sona for witchcraftsmp and specifically limited life
14 notes · View notes
psychicpinenut · 1 year
Text
we have this new girl at work and we gotta train her and i'm such a horrible trainer because i always have to do everything a certain way and i have to do it quick so to just explain everything i'm doing to this girl who has absolutely no clue about anything and have to watch her as she fumbles her way through the tasks i wanna rip my hair out. i have this unbeatable urge to reach over and be like 'no wait let me do it'
2 notes · View notes
ivan-fyodorovich-k · 2 years
Text
Once it became pretty clear that I could be a pretty skilled artist if I applied myself, around when I was 12 or 13 or so, my professional destiny seemed to split between trying to pursue art on the one hand, or trying to pursue history on the other
I chose history because it seemed more practical, more Important, and, perhaps most of all, it would keep me away from artists.
I wonder now whether I shouldn’t have just abandoned both and gone and worked in a factory and never had to think a thought or do anything for the rest of my life.
3 notes · View notes
arolesbianism · 2 months
Text
Ok no real reason I can't make Olivia and Jackie stalien designs is that there's absolutely no reason they'd realistically wear glasses as staliens and that's absolutely unacceptable what is a Jackie without big ol glasses and how the hell would I spice up Olivia's color pallet without glasses I can only design so many more brown staliens before I finally lose it
#rat rambles#oni posting#eternal gales#like even if they both were eyed staliens theyd have absolutely no reason to buy glasses nor the ability to do so as facility workers#the absolute best I could do is say its for fashion but even that would be shaky due to the general social perception around glasses#aka as a more pretentious thing that only rich staliens who have nothing better to do commission#more specifically it gives off the impression of a rich person who doesnt work to the average stalien#which as Ive said before is what makes beats so weird looking to most ppl because shes a broke as shit factory worker#for jackie and olivia itd probably be unapealing even if they did have the option just due to how itd make ppl take them less setiously#its not That big of a thing tho so Maybe theyd be willing to get them anyways but I feel like jackie is sensitive enough that she wouldn't#olivia is a maybe but still a most likely not mostly because she likely wouldn't want to cover up too many sensory hairs with her job#it wouldnt be Too bad but generally for her work youd generally want to have as many upper half of the body hairs available as possible#mostly because otherwise it can be easy for other sensory stuff to muddle the image (mostly smell based)#and that is mostly because of the gassious nature of stalien blood and how generally tricky it is to control stalien bleeding#theres ways around dealing with the active blood but generally they try to work with fresher flesh#oh also the blood itself wpuld probably dirty and rust up a pair of glasses fast so youd have to leave those in your private quarters#anyways I need to sleep Ill imagine that yall are nodding politely as I post this lol
1 note · View note
thehmn · 2 months
Text
Here’s a job you probably never even knew existed but is perfect for episodic stories.
Years and years ago I worked for a substitute/temp company, meaning other companies could ask for, say, five workers for any kind of job for anywhere from a day to a month and my company would then pick out five of their employees with suitable skills and ask us if we wanted to take the job.
You can imagine I ended up getting all sorts of wacky experiences. This was the job where I was hired to clean a dirty old kitchen with 10 other people at a mansion but got lost one day and walked into a cultish room with an altar and thrones lined up along the wall.
And when I say any kind of job I mean it. People asked for all sorts of unskilled work but the company also got requests for specialized work that only certain workers could do. I spent a week in an empty building where I only saw the other worker who had been hired along with me attaching wheels to carts. At another job we were sent up through a hole in the ceiling at a mall where we cleaned out old boxes. A particularly beautiful job entailed “braiding” small transparent tubes down a wall at a temporary closed factory while the sun was shining through ceiling windows which made the tubes glitter like glass. No idea what that job was about. We did anything from cleaning to preparing food to clearing a building site to factory work to hauling fish to painting to looking after animals to-
And if you like dressing your characters up you’re going to love this; our company didn’t have their own uniform because we were always dressed in the uniforms of the companies we were hired out to, or the companies would dress us in work appropriate clothes like overalls or aprons. I was once handed a cute long dress to wear while I sold pancakes.
I realize some of it sounds dangerous but it was all perfectly safe. Sometimes companies just needed extra help with something for a few days. The only reason why I stopped was because the work wasn’t stable and you never knew how far you’d have to travel to the next job. It was fun though.
4K notes · View notes
bunji-enthusiast · 2 months
Note
Slides you a paper, simple lil request
Reader is talking to Dogday and not watching where their going, they nearly fall off a ledge but Dogday, catching them, decides they don't need to walk and will thus be carried.
Ps. Lil Dogday with legs idea ^^
Tumblr media
Note || combining these two requests cause I can.
Sypnosis || your companion seemed to be very strong, carrying you in spite of your protests.
Tumblr media
DogDay –
Being as it is, you were hurt. Badly enough as it is, he was beginning to get worried. On the off hand, you had done so much for him already, giving back his legs so he could walk and even freeing him way before that. Your body seemed to be sorely injured, yet you always pushed on. You always liked helping people and toys alike where you can, so as long as they were sane and not conceivable in the far off ends of pure insanity after being in the factory for so long.
DogDay was, in a way, very impressed with how you managed to get so far. But now, he simply wasn’t having it.
“I swear, ‘Go back to bed, you’ll feel better in the morning’ haha–” You wanted to continue, being so enthralled with talking to DogDay who was tentatively listening to you as you two had made your roundabouts yet other things had occurred. With a yelp escaping you, you slipped and fell.
“AH!” You closed your eyes, seeing you tripped off of a ledge. Suddenly, you realize that someone had caught you. DogDay, he held you close to his chest, as if he was fearing you would get hurt again. “Angel, you should take a break from walking for a while… ok?” DogDay had tilted his head slightly at you, as if he wanted to be sure you had heard what he said.
You nodded, a little caught off guard by this sudden change in his outward personality. As if he was taking on the role of a protective familiar member, it gave you a sense of nostalgia. You sighed as your head laid against his chest, noticing the fact one arm of his was cradling your legs, the other holding your back.
“Ah fine…”
CatNap –
The crash was terrible, leaving you on the tracks numb and in pain. You didn’t understand what was happening, only blacking out and leaving the realm of the conscious for a period of time (though seemingly it felt very long). Your dreams felt terrible, running away and trying to scrape by at every possible moment. Though it was relief enough when you realized you were just asleep, though one thing had remained strange however. 
Were you… being carried by someone, you didn’t get a good look at the said body. You blinked your eyes, trying to tide away the blurriness ebbing at your peripherals. You cry out when you finally make the connection, CatNap, the one you had seen before all those years ago before being recalled was carrying you. 
Like a kitten being carried by the scruff apparently? You couldn’t get a good look.
‘Gods… it hurts.’ you thought to yourself, knowing full well wherever that CatNap was carrying you was not going to be a good or even convenient location in any case. You were slightly panicked, but more put off by how heavily you could hear CatNap breathing. “You really need to work out..” You pause for a moment, feeling the pain sharp in your skin like thousands of thousands of needles rubbing straight in. “More often.” At this, CatNap paused, causing you to think he was probably surprised at your choice of words. Oh, the look on his face was one you most wished to see right now.
Though he had finally resumed, continuing to walk despite the fact he had just paused for a good minute or so. 
You wonder if he was truly well intentioned at the very moment.
1K notes · View notes
fxrmuladaydreams · 5 months
Text
don’t touch her (mv1)
Tumblr media
max x reader , unnamed mclaren employee x reader
summary: max knows his feelings for you are wrong, you have a boyfriend. but all bets are off when that boyfriend gets aggressive with you
notes: this one’s angsty guys, also we’re gonna pretend that japan was later in the season just for timing purposes
warnings: physical fight, blood, a toxic relationship
He knew he shouldn’t be staring at you from across the paddock. He knew it was wrong on so many levels. You were a part of the Red Bull team, one of his coworkers. You were also dating someone from the McLaren team. Max had never wanted to hit Lando over the head as much as he did when the young Brit introduced you to your current boyfriend. But he couldn’t stop himself from searching for you in any room he went into, or at any media events or any meetings.
Max Verstappen could confidently say he was without a doubt in love with you.
He had grown attached to you quickly, being one of the only people he worked with that didn’t fawn over him just because he was good at his job. You treated him like a real person. When he was with you there was no Max Verstappen, there was only Max. You were a breath of fresh air, the calm in the storm that was his chaotic life. You were his quiet, safe space he could escape to when things became too much. He wanted nothing more than to wrap you in his arms and shield you away from all that was wrong in the world, but he’d settle for calling you his friend, his best friend.
Max liked to think of himself as a good person, the type of person that just wanted to see you happy, even if it meant seeing you with someone else. He promised himself he wouldn’t act upon his feelings, at least not while you were dating anyone. He wouldn’t dare destroy your happiness just because of his heart.
Max could also admit he was petty, so childishly petty. He didn’t like seeing you hanging around the McLaren garage during race weekends, weekends where you would usually be by his side, making sure he was ready to drive. Instead he had to watch your navy blue stand out against the bright orange at McLaren. It didn’t suit you, being surrounded by papaya, Max thought.
He knew he could complain about it to Christian. He could use his power to make you come back to him, but in doing that he may end up hurting you or your job. So he sat quietly and let his annoyance fester inside him.
He could tell when things started to shift with your boyfriend. When your long hugs and visits to the McLaren garage turned into brushing shoulders and arguments in an empty walkway outside.
Max tries to ask about, tries to help make you feel better, but you shrug him off, telling him that you’ll work it out, it’s nothing but a rough patch.
He asks if you’re okay, if there’s anything he can do to help. You give him a sad smile and shrug your shoulders.
“There’s nothing you can do Max.”
He’s never felt so helpless in his life. He hates that he has to see your face with tear stains over it, that your smile has dimmed in the garage. That you no longer search him out for comfort.
Part of him thinks he should have a conversation with your boyfriend. He thinks he should give him a talking to about how he’s ruining someone so special. But he knows he’d probably end up throwing punches if your boyfriend ticked him off anymore than he already has.
You don’t seem to get any better as the season comes closer to an end. Max tries to help you open up to him again, asking if you have any plans over the winter break. He even invites you to join him on his trip back home to the Netherlands. He tells you that his mother and sister would love to have you with them during the holidays.
You frown, telling him that you planned on staying near Milton Keynes to do some work at the factory.
He scoffs and shakes his head. “It’s winter break, I’m sure they can spare you for a little while.”
“I can’t take time off work just to hang out with you Max.” The words are much harsher than you mean for them to be, you can tell by the way Max takes a defensive step back.
He nods. “Right. Sorry.” Then he leaves you standing there to go to his driver’s room, or somewhere that just doesn’t have you.
Everything becomes clearer to Max at a party near the end of the season. It’s just after the Japan race, and Lando had insisted on celebrating the McLaren 2-3 as well as another tally to Max’s list of wins this season. The nightclub is filled with drivers as well as team members from each team hoping to let off some steam before the next race weekend.
Max doesn’t want to be there. He wants to go back to his hotel and sleep before he has to fly back home just to fly to Qatar a week later. But Lando and Charles keep putting new drinks in his hand, which promptly end up being left on random tables, and dragging him around to converse with everyone else that’s there.
He keeps an eye on you the whole time, watching as you wrap your arms around yourself, staring into the crowd on the dance floor. He can tell you aren’t really looking at them though, that you’re staring off into space. Your boyfriend comes up to sit on the stool next to you. He says something in your ear, to which you shake your head and leave, walking outside.
Max quickly pushes his latest drink into Charles’ hands and follows you outside.
You lean against the wall, attempting to get some fresh air after feeling a bit too claustrophobic in the club, but the heat doesn’t help as much as you hoped. You see Max as he steps outside and quickly walks to you.
“What’s wrong? And don’t say nothing, because I know you, I know when you’re upset and you can’t hide it from me. Is it me? Have I done something wrong?” He asks, his words spilling out quickly.
“Max, it’s not you, it’s just-”
“Y/n! Come on, we can talk this through!” Your words are cut off by your boyfriend who looks around for you, the smile falling off his face when he spots Max standing next to you. “Are you fucking serious Y/n?” He storms over to you, and grabs your forearm, yanking you away from Max. “Always running back to Max, huh?”
You yelp when he roughly pulls you to him.
Max is quick to put himself between the two of you, pushing your boyfriend with just enough force to make him let go of you.
“Don’t touch her.” He snarls.
You already know how this is going to end. Max stares at your boyfriend with fire in his eyes. While Max isn’t quite as tall as him, he makes up for the height difference in his strength. He’s got enough muscle to knock him to the ground in seconds if he wanted to.
Anyone with half a brain would know they’re in dangerous territory, being on the receiving end of Max’s intense stare, but your boyfriend refuses to back down.
“She’s mine Verstappen. I can do whatever the fuck I want.” He says quietly, taunting Max.
That’s all it takes for the first swing to fly. You think it’s Max, but your boyfriend is quick to throw up his own fists in defense.
It’s a mess of navy blue and orange as the two end up rolling on the ground, throwing punch after punch. Max ends up on top, straddling your boyfriend, lifting his fist to swing. You grab his arm and pull him off and away from the fight. You catch a glimpse of your boyfriend, well now ex-boyfriend’s bloody nose and black eye.
Max huffs, pulling his arm away from you and stalks towards his car. You follow him, practically jogging to keep up. You stop when you’re standing between him and the driver door. The lamplight illuminates his face. He’s got a bruise on his cheekbone, a split lip, his hair is a disheveled mess, and his fist is coated in blood, whose you aren’t sure. He’s avoiding eye contact with you, instead looking up at the sky.
“Max, why-”
“I’m fine.” He says when he finally looks at you. “Let me drive you back to the hotel.”
The drive back is quiet. You can’t help but keep looking over at Max, the streetlights passing by spread light over his face. He pulls a plain hoodie from the back of his car, pulling the hood up over his head. He keeps his down as he walks inside, attempting to avoid any interactions with fans that have decided to hang around the hotel.
He walks you to your door, then turns to leave, stopping only when he feels your fingers thread themselves through his. You gently pull him inside your room.
“Bathroom.” You tell him, steering him towards the small bathroom.
He sighs, knowing that there’s no use in trying to argue with you. He tugs the hoodie off and tosses it on your bed. He lifts himself up to sit on the counter of the bathroom, just next to the sink. There’s barely any room between where his legs hang off the counter and the wall opposite the sink, but you manage to squeeze between them with a small towel in your hand.
You run the towel under warm water, then bring it to his face, softly dabbing at his lip. He flinches slightly, pulling away. You apologize softly, then continue to wipe the blood from his lip.
You do the same with his hand, gently holding it in your hand and wiping away the red. It turns out to be mostly blood from your ex boyfriend, his skin only slightly bruised from the impact.
“You shouldn’t have hit him. You could’ve broken your hand. You wouldn’t have been able to drive.” You scold him quietly.
He gives you an incredulous look. “I should’ve done a lot more than hit him.”
You don’t answer, continuing to absentmindedly wipe at his hand. The blood is long gone, but he can tell you’re too lost in thought to notice.
He lifts your head up to look at him with his other hand. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He asks.
You shake your head. “You heard him. Always running back to you?”
“I like it when you come to me.” He shifts slightly. “I mean, I like feeling like you can come to me for, well for anything really. You should’ve felt like you could’ve talked to me.” He drops his head down now.
You can tell he’s starting to close in on himself, that he feels somehow at fault for this. It’s your turn to lift his head up this time. His eyes are welled up with unshed tears. He tries to blink his tears away putting on a brave face for you.
You gently swipe your thumb under his eyes, then hold his cheeks in your hands.
“This is not your fault Max. It’s my fault. I let it get bad, I should’ve ended it a long time ago. I just have a talent for being self destructive I guess.” You let out an unconvincing laugh.
He leans into your touch, letting his eyes flutter closed.
After a few minutes you begrudgingly pull your hands away from Max. He immediately misses the warmth on his face.
“You should put some ice over your bruise.” You tell him.
You step back, giving him space to hop down from the counter. He stands over you, but his height is anything but daunting. He looks down at his now clean but bruised knuckles then back up at you.
“Thank you.”
“I should be the one thanking you.” You tell him.
He clears his throat then shuffles around you, back into the main part of your room. “I should probably go.”
You follow him, itching to give him a reason to stay.
He grabs his hoodie from your bed and walks back to your door. He opens it, ready to step through when you call his name. He turns back to see you standing near the door as well, shifting your weight on your feet.
You take a deep breath then throw caution to the wind. You take a quick two steps to him and press your lips to his cheek.
Max freezes, only regaining a semblance of composure when you pull away from him.
“Thank you Max. Really.” You smile.
He gives you a sheepish smile and a nod, his cheeks colored with a light pink blush.
“Goodnight Y/n.”
“Goodnight Max.”
2K notes · View notes
psuedofolio · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I've been continuing my quest to draw 100 different characters, once a day every weekday and a couple weeks ago was like... "Girls and Mecha" week. And I tried each time to have like... a different take on the theme but would still have certain similar aesthetics. With the exception of the "school girl" the other machines were inspired more with industrial or construction machines.
So like... here's a power loader type mech. And a power armor type design. Then there was like... a mecha pilot but all she got was a roomba. Then there was the "pilot" and there was the girl that is actually the mech for a tiny robot. Was fun!
I had this whole lore where it was some corporation fighting some future union rebels on some space planet. Maybe I'll expand more on that someday.
EDIT: It occurs to me I should probably include the flavor text from when I tweeted these out. I'll put them in the same order as the images here:
"You know Kimmie, from the loading docks? Yeah she took to the Pile Bunker like a champ. You should see her tear open the corpo APCs."
2. "The off world colony workers repurposed the excavator suits into mobile armor frames. Corporate needs you to shut this down, now."
3. "The workers at the BIG PLANT found a little creative solution for taking their work with them while moving through and monitoring the factory floor. They've taken to personalizing their "Desk-bas" thinking of them like their own little mecha."
4. "The Cortex Walker, inspired by some particularly cruel science fiction, was Corporate's latest attempt to demoralize the rebel factions. While impractical from a mechanical perspective, the psychological impact of firing on captured allies could not be understated."
5. "My Best Friend is An Alien (and Unfortunately That's my Type!)"
3K notes · View notes
addledmongoose · 4 months
Text
Best of 2023 Good Omens Fanfiction
This is my list of the 20 best Good Omens fanfiction works I've read in 2023.
A few notes:
These are all complete works; there are no WIPs in the list.
Please feel free to let me know if a link stops working
It's not an ordered list. That would be far too difficult.
You'll probably recognize some of the most popular ones. They're popular for a reason, after all, but I hope you find something you haven't yet read.
The majority are full-length works, but there are definitely some shorter pieces.
These are certainly not the only good works I've read, but they are the ones I'm most likely to read more than once
Click the Keep Reading to see the list
If you're the author of one of these, first off, thank you! But second, if you want me to add your tumblr name to your story, let me know, and I'll edit.
This first section, all the stories are canon-compliant or canon-adjacent. In other words, it's at least somewhat set in the Good Omens universe.
a lighthouse (burning) (108K; Rated M)
This one is canon-adjacent and set in the 19th century. Aziraphale goes to a lighthouse to figure out where all the lighthouse keepers disappeared to, and Crowley follows along. This one is a bit of a spooky mystery along with the romance, and the writing style is simply beautiful. You really get a sense of being trapped in this lighthouse in the middle of nowhere.
***
The Grindr Logo Doesn't Even Have a 'G' In It (79K; Rated E)
It's honestly hard to remember that this one isn't human AU, but they're still just as angelic/demonic as ever. Aziraphale joins Grindr and starts texting (and then sexting) with a charming young man. It's no secret to the reader who this new hookup is. This story is genuinely funny at times. I like the funny ones.
***
The Whole Damned World Seemed Upside Down (103K; Rated M)
This is one of the best reverse omens stories I've read that isn't technically a reverse omens. Crowley wishes things were different after leaving the bookshop, and the universe gives him his wish. He finds himself in a world where Aziraphale hates him, Death has trouble taking lives, and basically everything you knew about the world of Good Omens is upside down. It's very funny. It uses inline footnotes (which is good, because it has a LOT of footnotes), and Death is hilarious.
***
it's a new craze (5K; Rated T)
Another one that seems like it should be human AU but isn't. Crowley and Aziraphale start up a podcast after the Notpocalypse and gain a loyal fanbase who can't figure out if they're a couple or not. They often forget who their audience is and often reference events in their shared history that make no sense to the humans listening.
***
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a demon in possession of a mobile phone, must be in want of attention (6K; Rated G)
And yes, that is the entire title. Another funny short story where a couple of podcast hosts receive a call from a certain angel whose demon trapped himself in his phone and won't leave.
***
In Mixed Company, or the Corporate Retreat of Heaven and Hell (52K; Rated M)
I've read this one at least three times, and it's probably my favorite of all. Every 300 years, Heaven and Hell share a company retreat on Earth during which angels and demons surrender their celestial powers and hold retreats. It has a great new angel friend of Aziraphale's; Hellish Powerpoint presentations; Gabriel being annoyingly chipper; and Aziraphale and Crowley sneaking around like teenagers trying to find some alone time.
***
How To Woo A Demon (24K; Rated T)
Aziraphale researches demonic courtship rituals and starts implementing them in order to convince Crowley he wants to take their relationship to the next level. Crowley is very confused by Aziraphale's actions. Another cute, funny one.
***
Factory Settings (107K; Rated T)
This one is famous for coming out practically as S2 dropped, making people think whoever wrote it (the author is anonymous) had something to do with the production of the show.
This is the only one I'm going to say anything negative about. There are a lot of spelling errors and typos in it. It needs a hard editing pass. Despite that complaint, I devoured this story as fast as I could scroll. It's that good, and even knowing all the errors are there, I'll probably still re-read it. I'm usually pretty picky about errors like that, so for me to overlook it and even recommend it, means I really liked it.
Crowley gets reinstated as the angel, Raphael, with no memory of his time as Crowley, and Aziraphale struggles to return him to his demonic self. It's heart-breaking and wonderful and I absolutely loved it.
***
One Night In Bangor (And the World's Your Oyster) (17K: Rated E)
Much like In Mixed Company, Heaven and Hell come together for a corporate retreat on Earth. In this one, some totally random demon who's name definitely doesn't rhyme with Bowley created a wager in Hell to see which demon could bed an angel first.
Another funny one. This time, a lot of the humor comes from the demons doing their best to pick up the angels with really bad pickup lines.
***
We Only Said Goodbye with Words, I Died A Hundred Times (9K; Rated E)
If I could learn to write even half as good as this, I'd be ecstatic. The emotions the author packs into this story are mind-blowing.
Crowley receives a cursed amulet that creates an ever-increasing need for the person he wants the most and goes to see Aziraphale.
***
To reveal my heart in ink (29K; Rated E)
Aziraphale starts writing letters to Crowley by mail. The letters they exchange slowly get more and more explicit.
***
Pray For Us, Icarus (66K; Rated G/T)
The author wrote this one as a series, so each one varies in chapter count and rating, but they tell a single, contiguous story.
This was the first long-form GO fanfiction I read, and it was way too close to the ending of S2. I really should've waited a while, because holy cow, is this one heartbreaking.
For three hundred years, Crowley has been reincarnated over and over as a human with no memory of his past. Aziraphale has spent those three hundred years trying to restore him to his true self.
The author, Atalan, is probably one of the best writers on the site. This story is stunning in the quality of its writing, in the pacing of the story, and in the emotions evoked. I normally don't like being sad (like I said, I like the funny ones), but I've saved this story off to make sure I always have it.
***
Pretend For Me (53K; Rated E)
In a panic, Aziraphale tells the archangels that he survived hellfire due to his soul mixing with Crowley's because they're in a romantic and sexual relationship, but now they want them to prove it.
I'm a sucker for fake relationship stories, and there aren't a whole lot of them where the characters are still angel/demon, but this one is. It's another fun one, though a bit more angsty than some of those I listed above.
***
The following are all human AU. Good chance you'll recognize all or most of these.
Married At First Sight (147K; Rated T)
One of the most recently completed stories in the list, this is a fake relationship story where Aziraphale and Crowley join a reality show that marries complete strangers off to each other. Their new marriage starts off on a less than idyllic foot and they decide to fake it for the show. The author is a master of making you want to scream "for fuck's sake, just talk to each other, you walnuts!"
Probably one of my favorite fake relationship stories.
***
Postcards From Paris (12K; Rated G)
The author, ghostrat (@mrghostrat), is a fantastic writer of human AU, and it's worth going through his entire backlist (and read his current WIPs, too).
Crowley moves into his Mayfair flat and starts receiving postcards addressed to the previous tenant from one A.Z.F., who is in Europe hunting for bizarre bibles and rating wine. Sweet and fluffy and the perfect antidote if you've just been on an angst binge.
***
Or Be Nice (151K; Rated E)
I stayed up until 6:30 in the morning reading this one, crashed for three hours, then read until I finished it. Then that night, I started it again.
This is, without hesitation, my all-time favorite human AU. It's funny. I love the author's version of the characters, and I will probably end up reading it again in just a few months. I probably already would have if it wasn't for the length of my Mark For Later and Subscription lists.
Crowley and Aziraphale are neighbors who get into a noise war. They both have their reasons for their actions, though to be honest, Crowley is a bit of an ass at first. Once they really start talking, though, they are absolutely wonderful together.
Even if you've never read a human AU, I recommend at least giving this one a try.
***
What We Make Of It (Shotgun Wedding) (213K; Rated E)
This is the third charlottemadison work on this list. 15% of this list is just this one author. That's how good they are.
Aziraphale works as an English teacher. Crowley is the guardian for his nephew, Adam, and works for a school testing company. Crowley can't risk his job dating his nephew's gorgeous and charming teacher. Unless...
Crowley comes up with a crazy plan. Now he just has to convince Aziraphale to go along with it.
Again, another very popular human AU. One thing I love about this story is how there's a lot less angst between the two characters, and how they both really care for Adam.
***
Slow Show (95K; Rated E)
The very first human AU I read. Didn't even think I'd like that specific genre until I read it. Now, as you can see, it's about half of my reading list.
This is an actor AU. Aziraphale (named Avery here) and Crowley are actors working together on a new show. Avery is an award-winning, straight-laced, well-respected actor; Crowley is a mess who immediately falls head-over-heels for him and somehow has to get through the show without letting his (apparently straight) costar realize that.
***
South Downs (76K; Rated E)
Another actor AU. This time, Aziraphale is an openly-gay actor, well-respected for his period drama work. Crowley is a once-blackballed actor who jumps at the chance to star in a gay Regency romance with Aziraphale in the hopes it can restart his career. The trouble is, Crowley is struggling to play the romantic lead opposite a man.
I love the growing friendship between these two as much as the romance. I love how comfortable and confident Aziraphale is here; and how caring he is toward Crowley's growing awareness of his sexuality.
***
This one doesn't really fit either category, so I'm putting it here.
The Rose and the Serpent (56K; Rated M)
By the same author as Pray For Us, Icarus comes a GO retelling of Beauty and the Beast. Aziraphale is sent off by his older brother, Gabriel, into the forest to be held hostage by a giant snake in a cursed castle. Turns out, neither the snake nor the castle are what he was expecting.
Light-hearted and with very memorable characters, the relationship between Crowley and Aziraphale is simply stunning. I love how Newt and Anathema are used here. The quality of this one is as good as Icarus, and I loved this one so much I could easily have read 300K more words.
***
And bonus: mine!
The Beginning of the End (Again) (79K; Rated M)
The first fanfiction I've ever written and the first book I've written in a decade. I had the first two chapters in mind after finishing S2, and the story grew from there. I actually have a sequel in mind after I finish another, separate fake relationship story.
Crowley spends months drowning his sorrows after Aziraphale accepts the Supreme Archangel position, until a group of demons shows up one day and tells him the Second Coming is nearly upon them, and they want him to stop it. Turns out being a demon isn't much fun if there are no humans left to tempt.
Aziraphale has spent these last months in Heaven looking for ways to stop the Second Coming while mourning the way he and Crowley left things. After discovering that Hell's minions have been tasked by the Metatron to escort the son of God on a tour of Earth in preparation for his Second Coming, he hurries down to see what's going on, fearing the worst.
Instead he discovers Crowley escorting the Messiah around Earth. Is his demon taking the son of God on dates?
945 notes · View notes
unpunishablelamb · 11 months
Text
realistic general creepypasta headcanons
(requests are open!)
Tumblr media
-they don’t live in a mansion together
-most of them (the ones that don’t depend on e.g technology like BEN) either live in abandoned factories, huts in the forest or something like that
-some have never met eachother, others simply work together for some missions because of their connection to the slenderman
-the slenderman isn’t a father figure to them, he is something between a boss and a blackmailer
-i think they are all absolutely loyal to him but simply because they have no other option. they know that the slender man could potentially kill them anytime if they were worthless to him
-they probably all smell bad
-some may use the chance to shower at their victims house if the kill was messy, some don’t bother (cough cough jeff cough)
-they survive from gas station or 7/11 food they either steal or buy with stolen money
-i don’t think the wounds they had before they became creepypastas can get infected or heal (jeff’s scars, toby’s face gash etc)
-not one of them is a small bean or a softie or whatever
-some are more empathetic than others but at the end of the day al of their empathy is extremely limited
2K notes · View notes
the-offside-rule · 2 months
Text
Max Verstappen (Red Bull Racing) - Embarassing
Requested: yes
Prompt: 3) "His smile gives me butterflies"
Warnings: alcohol maybe idk
Tumblr media
Y/n, the brilliant Red Bull strategist, reveled in the success of another 1-2 finish for the team. The victory celebration echoed through the night, and with each cheer, Y/n's heart raced. As the party reached its peak, she found herself drowning her nerves in a bit too much alcohol. In the dimly lit corner of the party, Y/n sat alone, contemplating the stars above. Max Verstappen, unaware of her intoxicated state, noticed her isolation and decided to check on her. "Hey, everything alright?" Max inquired, concern etched on his face as he sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her to show his support.
"I'm just here, having a moment. You know, thinking about someone." Max, intrigued yet puzzled, sat beside her. "Someone special, huh?" Y/n nodded, a dreamy expression settling on her face. "You won't believe it. I'm head over heels in love with Max Verstappen! Can you imagine? His smile gives me butterflies, and when he races, it's like my heart is on the track with him." Max, amused, played along. "You think so?" She nodded. "And his determination, Max never gives up. It's inspiring. Also, that Dutch accent is-" She paused lifting her glass to her lips. "It's something else."
Max couldn't hold back his laughter. "You seem to know him quite well." Y/n nodded, blissfully unaware. "Oh, absolutely! I have have come up up his strategy like all the time. I wish I could tell him how much I love him." Max, enjoying the banter, decided to play along. "Well, maybe you should." Max looked at her with admiration. She was seen as somewhat of a recluse at Red Bull. Yes, she was lovely but she was serious about her job and worked so hard to prove she was serious, that Max and many other team members were unaware she was even capable of being able to love someone. "I will! Next time I see him."
"Shouldn't be too hard. You're in a huge nightclub with him." Y/n nodded. "Yeah. Oh, and the way he talks about racing, it's so passionate. I could listen to him talk about it all day." Y/n sighed, blissfully unaware that she was talking to the very person she was gushing about. Max chuckled, enjoying the unexpected revelation. "Well, I'm flattered. Thanks for the compliment."
"Wait, what?" She turned. Max smiled and put his hand out. "Max Verstappen." He said teasingly. Y/n's eyes widened, realization hitting her like a sudden gust of wind. "Wait, what? Oh my- Max, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to- I mean, I didn't know it was you." Max laughed, genuinely appreciating her honesty. "No worries. It's flattering. Let me walk you back to the party." As they stood up, Y/n, suddenly shy, looked down. "I should probably go. I've embarrassed myself enough." Before Max could even say a word, off she went stumbling away. Max followed, but in the crowded venue, he lost sight of her. The party continued, but Max couldn't shake off the amusing encounter and the even more amusing strategist
The next day in the buzzing Red Bull factory, Y/n immersed herself in her work, determined to focus on strategy and leave the embarrassing incident behind. As she studied data and simulations, Max casually strolled through the facility, inspecting the ongoing progress. He eventually found his way to Y/n's desk, where she was engrossed in her tasks. Max leaned against the edge of the desk, smirking, "Hello, darling."
Y/n's eyes widened, and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I, uh, I think I may have said some things at the party." She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Max, still amused as he was the night before grinned. "Oh, you mean the Max Verstappen love fest?" Y/n cringed. "Yeah, that. Sorry about that." She hid her head in her hands as Max simply laughed. He interrupted with a playful grin, "No need to apologize. I thought it was cute, actually. If you ever want to show that side of you more often, feel free."
Y/n blinked in surprise, and Max reached into his pocket, pulling out a piece of paper. He jotted down his number and slid it across her desk, winking mischievously. "In case you need someone to talk to about your Max Verstappen crush." Flustered but intrigued, Y/n managed a shy smile. "Thanks, Max. I'll... keep that in mind." Max nodded, giving her a knowing look, and continued his stroll through the factory. Y/n couldn't help but replay the interaction in her mind, a mix of embarrassment and excitement.
626 notes · View notes
drabblesandimagines · 18 days
Text
Cramped
Inspired by @creativepromptsforwriting prompt 1080! "I can't stop thinking about kissing you." "And what are you going to do about that?" Leon Kennedy x gn reader
Tumblr media
“I can’t do this.” Leon mutters under his breath, but you hear it as clear as day from your position.
How could you not, seeing as you’re currently only an inch away from his chest, his head nearly resting atop your own?
You’ve been trapped in this tiny storage cupboard for at least 20 minutes now, waiting for Hunnigan to give the all-clear that all 27 heat signals had dispersed from outside your current location. You would describe yourself as a relatively decent shot, Leon more so, but the numbers weren’t in your favour.
“Claustrophobic?” You whisper back, cautious that your voice may carry. You wish you could shift your left foot ever so slightly, currently standing awkwardly over a bucket that was sat at the bottom at the cupboard when you entered.
“No.” He has his hands braced either side of you against the opposite wall, seemingly caging you in more than the cupboard is. Your arms awkwardly hung by your side, painfully aware of how if you moved even slightly forward you’d be pressing your front into his chest, fingers ghosting against his hips.
“I can’t do this.” Leon says again. “Missions - with you.”
“Oh, come on,” you wish you could step back so you could give him a proper withering stare. “You can’t blame me every time something goes wrong. The intel definitely said only five guards were on site at any one time.”
“No. I mean, I…” He’d rub the bridge of his nose if he could bring his arm forward to do it without hitting you in the process. “I can’t concentrate.” You scoff, immediately defensive. “And how is that my fault?” “Because I can’t stop thinking about kissing you!” Silence. “Oh.” “Yes, oh.” He mocks, frustrated. He's meant to be better than this. Hell, he usually is when the two of you are paired up. Leon’s flirty, sure, but he knows to be professional when it’s a matter of life and death, and trapped in a cupboard with a number of hostiles outside is definitely a time when he should be at his most focused. But ever since the two of you retreated in here, all he can think about is how close you are, how good you smell, the warmth of your body pressed up against his, how he could place his fingers under your chin, tilt your head up… “Well, what are you going to do about it?”
“Sorry?” He looks down at you in disbelief, sure he’s misheard. “I said,” you lift your hand and trail your fingers up his chest before you rest it just above his pounding heart and meet those soft blue eyes. “What are you going to do about it?”
He doesn’t need a third invitation, dropping his hands from the wall. One arm wraps around your waist, bringing you needlessly forward that final inch, your left thigh finding its way between his in lieu of anywhere else to go. His other hands grabs the back of your head and tilts it up to meet his lips, stealing your breath with a deep, frantic kiss... Hunnigan smiles to herself as she leans back in her chair at HQ, your voices falling silent on the comms in what she suspects is the result of other activity – Leon had left the channel open when you'd been forced to find cover. It’s only when she hears Kennedy let out a muffled moan that she taps to disconnect the audio, her suspicions now well and truly confirmed. The computer screen in front of her shows a blueprint of the factory, where two red dots reside in the small storage cupboard she’d directed them to after she’d ‘alerted’ them to the unwelcome company. She still needs to work out how to explain the sudden disappearance of 27 hostiles, but it’s worth it so she won’t be forced to watch the two of you dance awkwardly around each other in the office anymore.
--- This is probably the closest to a drabble I've ever gotten despite my blog name, ha! Masterlist . Requests welcome . Commissions/Ko-Fi
PS: Thanks to @porcelainseashore for helping me clarify the ending <3
599 notes · View notes
braindamagelesbian · 2 years
Text
.
0 notes