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#they will never care as much as you and I'll feel guilty for expecting shit becuz i keep getting the excuses of im busy or tired
lemonandlime22 · 1 year
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Hiya! Hope you having a wonderful day! I was wondering if you'd be willing to do more of NRC's resident gremlin, Bitey Child Yuu? Maybe how whoever you want figured out WHY the gremlin bites people? Might be fun. Feel free to ignore this if you're not interested. ANYWAYS, I hope you're having a fantabulous day!
The first people who find out the reason for the bitey child!Yuu's biteynes
Warning(s): Long as hell, not edited, cussing
Word count (since I guess this kinda counts as a fic too?): 2.7k
A/N: This too far longer to do than it should have i am so sorry but I hope you enjoy! did i do this all in two nights after putting it off for months? ....you cant prove shit
[Bitey child!Yuu Masterlist]
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Grim
You and Grim have always had a lot more in common than either of you really knew,
neither of you has any family
both of you grew up taking care of yourself
and both grew up on the streets with little food.
When Grim first learned of your habit, he just thought it was funny,
he didn't judge you nor did he care why you did it at the time
I mean, he often used his fire against people so he really has no room to talk.
It wasn't until around the end of book 2 that he started to learn more about his little roomie.
Grim was exhausted, after Leona's overblot earlier that day he wanted nothing more than to wrap up in the old dusty blanket the two of you shared. But he couldn't do that without you- not that he'd ever willingly admit it, but he had gotten used to sleeping with your small arms wrapped around him and he quite enjoyed it- but that's not the point.
He has no clue where you are, he walked with you into Ramshackle a little while ago but hasn't seen you since. With a defeated sigh he stomped back into your shared room having given up looking for you and decided to just suck it up and try and sleep...
sniff
...
sniff
Carefully opening his eyes, Grim looked around the room to try and find the source of the sniffling. He nearly started crying out himself when he realized the quiet weeping was coming from under the bed. The last thing he was expecting to see under the bed when he eventually gathered the courage to look, was his young companion curled in on themself, their small form shaking either from the crying or maybe due to the constant chill that always lingered in the poorly insulated house, perhaps it was both.
"Hey, kid-" even though he kept his voice to a whisper he still managed to startle the small human. "...um...you alright..?" There was a twinge of guilt in Grim that he couldn't ignore when he saw their messy face.
You didn't answer, only staring at the firey creature, with big eyes that shined bright with the reflection of Grim's flams and a messy wet face. He never really expected a response, you were never much of a talker, but he was a little hopeful.
"I can't believe I'm doing this.." Grim grumbled in defeat when that guilty feeling in his chest won and he grabbed the blanket and pillow off the bed and climbed under the bed next to you. Before you could react, he pushed the pillow toward you and shimmied the blanket on you, and laid under it right next to you.
That night was when he learned about your short life before Twisted Wonderland,
that you had no family, and you lived on the streets
he was able to connect the dots as to why you always bite people.
"So you bite people that you think will hurt you, or others?"
"...yeah?...I guess...."
The two of you fell asleep under the bed that night, but don't worry, the ghost found you and pull you both back onto the bed
making sure to tuck you in.
After that, Grim was noticeably a lot more protective and worried a lot more about you
he had taken it upon himself to make sure you were ok and safe and that you knew
he didn't want you to feel the need to bite people anymore
no matter how funny it was.
"Hey! Kid- What I say about biting people!? If someone makes you feel uneasy come to the great and powerful Grim! I'll roast 'em for ya."
Ace
Ace found it funny, be it a bit weird, when you bit people
but was extremely annoyed when you bit him.
It had to have been about the beginning of book 3 when Ace was informed of your reasoning.
"Ugghh..." Ace ground as he leaned his forearms on the Lounge countertop, exhausted from all the work he was forced to endure as punishment. Looking to his left he saw Grim uncharacteristically focused as he scrubbed the ever-growing dish pile.
"What's up with you?" He questioned, grabbing a dish to scrub so as to not face one of the Leech brother's punishments for slacking off. Ace was met with silence from the glowing cat-monster-thing. "Hey! Twisted Wonderland to Grim~ You there? ...what's up with you?..."
Grim was pulled out of his thoughts when Ace's hand came into his line of sight. "Huh? What 'cha say?"
Ace sighed, "I said, What up with you? You seem more distracted than normal"
"Oh... uh.. I was just..." Grim trailed off, searching for the words, but Ace took quick notice of the lack of snap back to his 'distracted' comment. "...Do you think they're okay? Yuu... I mean.."
Ace was taken aback by Grim's voiced worry for you. Yeah, he had taken notice of the small monster's growing protectiveness and worry of you during the past couple of weeks, but hearing him openly express it was... out of character for the creature.
"Well yeah of course they are. Besides if they're in a pinch, we know they'll just bite their way out of it." Ace lightly chuckled, expecting Grim to do the same. Only to be met with a curt nod and a quiet "...yeah. I guess..." and silence. Ace decided not to push it any longer...
That interaction stayed with Ace for the next couple of days
he wouldn't admit it but, he was slightly worried,
he could tell something had happened.
Until he was given some clarification a few days after when he got the chance to talk to you privately.
Ace found the small violent child sitting alone on a bench in the courtyard eating an apple he assumed they managed to get from one of the many trees. Taking the chance of a biting, he sat next to them which they took quick notice of, and stopped eating, looking up at him expectantly. If he didn't know better he would have said their big eyes were full of adorable childhood innocence, but he did know better, at least... that's what he thought.
"Soooo... how have you been?.." Ace had no clue what to say, and he could tell the kid knew that too due to the skeptical look they gave him. Taking a deep breath, be decided to just be blunt instead of beating around the bush.
"Ok- I'll just cut to the chase. What the hel- heck.." Ace sighed at the unintentional correction of himself, not liking that he unconsciously followed Riddle's rule of not cussing around the little shit, while he was not even around not less! *cough* um- anyway,,, "Just...what happened with you and Grim?" they tilted their small head in confusion "You know, he's gotten.. I think protective of you let's say and is worrying a lot more over you. I mean, just a few days ago he was asking if I thought you were okay while we were at the lounge."
Ace glanced down at them, not really expecting the surprised flustered look that was on their face. He found it... almost adorable, and he had a sudden urge to pat their head and pinch their cheek for some reason?
"...I think.. it might have something to do with what we talked about a few weeks ago.." Their small voice barely made it to Ace's ears, like they were talking more to themself than him.
"What did you talk about..?" Ace's tone was softer as his curiosity peaked, but a worrying feeling also grew alongside it.
And that my dear reader, is how Ace Trappola's heart grew two sizes bigger
I kid, I kid
kinda.
But that is how he learned of his small friend's life, and subsequently, their reasoning for their biting.
He had a twinge of guilt in his chest listening to their story, and he did give in to the urge to pat their head
it was really the only way he could think of comforting you in that moment.
After that, he started seeing Yuu in a new light,
instead of a little shit that he kinda wanted to punt
he started seeing an actual kid, and a scared one at that
Ace also understood Grim protectiveness and worry.
...He may have felt the same..
There was a growing feeling in his chest that made him want to keep that small content smile on your face for as long as he could.
Deuce
Deuce has always had a sense of duty when it came to Yuu
he thought he saw his younger self in them and, he felt he had to be a good role model for them.
He found out only a couple days after Ace.
Deuce stared at the sheet of paper on the desk in frustration, he had no clue what the answer to the written question was, with what little free time for studying he had he did his best to memorize the book, but that didn't work. He especially couldn't figure it out the constant clicking coming from the fire monster next to him.
After the test was finished Deuce tried to talk to Grim and ask him about the clicking, but the small creature quickly left as soon as he could, and Deuce followed soon after. He followed Grim out of the classroom and down the hall a bit unit the monster spotted the small child sitting against the wall, playing with their now untied bow.
"There you are! I thought I told you to wait right outside the classroom." Grim huffed as he made his way next to them, grabbing the long fabric and neatly tying it back around their wrist. Yuu wasn't allowed to take any of the tests or anything like that, they were only permitted to sit in on lectures and answer a couple questions from the professors. Deuce had too started to take notice of the difference in Grim's behavior toward the little kid in the past few weeks. At first, he didn't think much of it, barely even noticing until Ace pointed it out a little while ago. He didn't see any problem in it, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't curious about the cause.
Deuce continued to watch the duo's interaction before they walked down the hall toward the next class.
Deuce decided the best course of action was to talk to Ace and try to make a plan
but when he went to the redhead, all he got from him was a sigh and instruction to talk to you himself
he was confused but did as he was told and looked for you the next day.
Deuce sighed in relief when he saw Yuu trying to climb a tree in the courtyard, seemingly trying for an apple. Walking up behind them, he reached for an apple and placed it in their small hands, which they happily accepted. As they were eating the red apple, Deuce took the chance to talk.
"Hey Yuu, could I ask you a few questions?" He spoke in the soft voice he always used with them as he knelt down to their height. They glanced at the teen and nodded.
"Well, I've noticed that Grim has been acting a bit weird...and Ace too.. now that I think about it... Do you know anything about that? I originally asked Ace about it, but he just told me to talk to you..." Deuce trailed off, trying to connect what he could and figure it out himself. A part of him didn't think Yuu would know anything or even have noticed anything, they were a little kid after all.
"oh.." Deuce looked back at you, expectantly waiting for your answer "It might have somethin' to do with what I told them a little while ago,,, but I'm not really sure why they're acting weird.." He was caught off guard, that was probably the longest sentence you've used, with him at least. Deuce leaned towards you so he could hear your small voice better.
Deuce was not expecting the explanation Yuu gave him
he felt guilty for thinking they were just a misbehaving child like he was.
Tears spilled out of his eyes and he pulled them into an almost bone-crushing hug
he refused to leave their side for a long while after that, even trying to stay at Savanaclaw with them and Grim.
He still wants to be the best role model he can be for you, that never changes.
Ruggie
Ruggie saw a lot of himself in Yuu, but couldn't quite place why? other than the aggressive biting and love for food
but he didn't question it much, not thinking it was of any importance and not his business
besides, he thought of them as somewhat of an annoyance for the first month or so of school so he didn't care much to figure it out.
But he was soon given that explanation,
around the end of book 3, shortly before winter break.
It was the last day of Yuu's stay at Savanaclaw and they had been helping out Ruggie a bit with some of his chores. Right now they were helping him hang the laundry on the wire to dry, 'helping' as in they handed him the clips and sometimes articles of clothing.
"Why do we hang 'em?" "So they dry." "Why do they dry? and how?"
Yuu was uncharacteristically talkative today, it kind of made sense, they were at that age where they asked questions about everything cause they didn't know anything, and he was doing something that they may have never seen before.
They continued to ask questions and Ruggie continued to answer them, with Yuu following him all throughout the day. He didn't really mind, some of the kids back home would do the same thing so he was pretty used to this. That all lead to them to the dorm kitchen later in the day, helping Ruggie make Leona's dinner. Ruggie would tell Yuu what to grab for him and they would oblige and ask what it was for.
"Grab the seasoning that has a red cap, looks a little bit like tea and smells like the forest mixed with pepper." Ruggie instructed, not looking up from the bowl
"R..Ruos....Ruse..murry....?" Ruggie turned toward them, surprised by their trying to read the name, and was met with their expectant eyes waiting for confirmation, to which he nodded and took the seasoning.
"Were you trying to read the label?" Ruggie asked, "Yeah.." Yuu confirmed "Huh... Well, good job. You were close, it's pronounced 'Rosemary'" They only nodded and continued to wait for the next instruction.
Yuu trying to read the label lasted for a little while until Ruggie got curious as to how they got so good at pronouncing them. Well pronouncing them for their age, they weren't supposed to start learning to read for about another year. Of course, there's nothing bad about starting early, it's just strange...
"Hey Yuu, where did you learn to read so well?" Ruggie leaned his side to the counter, turning his full attention to them while the food cooked. "Is one of the students teaching you? or maybe one of the teachers?"
"Hm?...No, there was justa' bunch-ah bottles like these in the dumpster I stayed next to for a lil while...an I heard a lotta people say the names too." Ruggie was taken aback by the implications they gave, and before They told him anymore, he started to connect the dots on almost everything about Them, having had a similar childhood. Out of curiosity, he decided to press further into Yuu's life before Twisted Wonderland.
That evening, Leona's food was a bit burnt due to all of Ruggie's attention being placed on Yuu and their story.
From that point on he took them under his wing in a sort
he would teach them all about how to cook when he could, and would take them with him when he'd go looking for ingredients in the forest behind Ramshackle to teach about how they could be used.
He offered to let them stay in his neighborhood over the winter break, but they had declined in favor of staying at NRC with Grim
to which he accepted their answer and left them with a head pat.
Ruggie sees a lot of his younger self in Yuu, maybe that's why he wants to take care of them as much as he can...
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alastrrz · 2 months
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i was wondering if you could do nick x reader with reader being in denial/oblivious to nick's flirting with them. like they take it as a joke every time bc they don't think someone would ever be in love with them/like them?
YESS i love this trope you've found my soft spot
。゚゚・。・゚゚。 ゚。 are you seeing anyone? ; nick
  ゚・。・゚
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genre; hurt/comfort, fluff
type; drabble
read below!
Nick wanted you to be his. Super badly. However, every time he made a move, you'd just laugh it off or ignore him completely. It really upset him, but he wouldn't give up on you that easily.
You'd always been the one asked out as a joke, flirted with as a joke, it was always 'ask out Y/n as a joke!'. It absolutely killed your self esteem. It also caused you to not ever dare to reciprocate feelings to anyone, because you knew it would always be too good to be true. Nick included. You figured it was some inside joke with all the guys.
Your phone repeatedly buzzed, Nick's contact appearing on the screen. You slid over to the answer button, "Hello?.." He smiled as you answered, "Y/n! I was worried I wouldn't get ahold of you. Do you wanna do something today? I'm free, the rest of the guys are out." You were floored. This had to be a joke. "Uhh.." You thought for a minute. What could the harm really be? "Sure. What'd you wanna go do?" He smiled widely to himself, finally! He'd get to be alone with you and show you that he really does care, and he's not flirting with you as some cruel joke.
"We could just go to the mall or like, a museum or something? Just to hang out. And uh, don't worry about money! That's on me." He spoke smoothly, no hesitation in his voice whatsoever. You took a deep breath, not knowing what to expect. "O.. Okay. Gotcha. I'll be ready soon then? I can drive over and meet you at the house." He shook his head, "Nah, I'll drive over to you. Be there in thirty!"
In almost exactly thirty minutes time, Nick was knocking on your door. You flattened your shirt, answering the door. "Hey!.." You softly smiled at Nick, noticing he wasn't wearing anything too fancy. "Hey! You look nice. Nicer than me at least, heh." You chuckled a little, "Yeah, heheh.." You were trying your hardest to accept that maybe this wasn't a joke, but it was hard. "Well, you ready? I got all my shit in the car. The mall doesn't close 'til about 8, so we got time!" You nodded, "Ye— yeah!"
You guys spent about an hour or two at the mall, shopping around. Nick threw out some compliments and offered to buy you so much, but you had to decline almost every time. You just felt too guilty if you took that much money from him. He insisted on at least buying you lunch, to which you said was fine.
"So, Y/n," He started as he ate his chicken sandwich, "Are you seeing anyone?" Your face and body went cold, "Huh?" You were confused why he was asking you that. You knew it. This was all some ruse set up by the boys to make a fool out of you. "Like, are you going out with anyone?" You slowly shook your head, "Uhm, no, I uh.. I guess not." Nick looked a little sad, "You wouldn't consider this seeing eachother?" He nonchalantly asked you. You perked up. "I— Oh! Oh, uhm!.."
Nick tilted his head, "Or if you don't like me in that way and i'm taking this wrong that's fine! Just tell me that, because I know you kinda ignore or laugh off any time I make like.. any flirtatious comment.." He smiled sheepishly. You sighed, "No, it's not like that.. I, uh, I do like you like that. I was just like," You paused for a second, waving your hands around a little, "Bullied in school. So I was always the one that was asked out as a joke." He stared at you in awe. "I thought this was all some joke."
"This was never a joke," He placed his hand on top of yours, "Me liking you was never a joke. The guys were really all out today, they all actually really want me to start seeing you. They all really like you, dude." You smiled softly, looking back at Nick. "So? Are you seeing anyone?"
"... Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am."
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Music Event Scenario ♡
Since apparently there's no scene for the image... I made one myself. Hope you like it.
After we managed to make that cacophonous snake go away, the guys and I finally breathed a sigh a relief.
"Why do I feel this isn't the first time we end up fighting a gigantic snake to save the day?" Said Mathieu with a strong feeling of deja vu.
"Last Christmas was the same, remember? A snake was stealing gifts" Mentioned Nevra who instead of looking tired had a bothered expression in his face. Probably because we five were always the ones who had to solve the problems on special occasions like today.
"Hopefully, it won't come back next year" Voiced Leiftan as if reading the mind of all of us.
"Don't give it ideas" Retorted Lance with irritation. It was understandable, we had wasted a lot of our time just so the others back at H.Q could enjoy the music festival. Now, the sun was going down and the concert would start-...
"OH NO!" I shouted causing the four to turn their heads in my direction. "What time is it?!"
"Ummm the sun is almost gone, so I would say... it's six or seven o'clock" Answered Mathieu nonchalantly.
"FUCK, I'M SO LATE!" I practically ran past the woods towards the H.Q while thinking how to be ready in five minutes.
"Late for what? If I may ask..." Asked Leiftan who catched up to me with the rest.
"The concert!" I said without slowing down my pace. Thanks to the their silence, I knew they didn't understand my sudden urge to go. "Remember I was supposed to sing a human song for Lady Beulanelle?"
"Shit, that's true" Mumbled Mathieu while messing with his hair.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" I gave Nevra a hard look for his unsupportive words.
"I can't go on stage like this, I look like I got beat up!" It was not a good time for Nevra to get on my nerves. "Besides, Purriry made me a special outfit for the ocassion".
"Dressing up shouldn't take you too long" Said Lance, another one who did not understand my struggle.
"I also have to do my hair and make up" I explained feeling deeply stressed. "I'll never be ready on time..."
Now Huang Hua will have another thing to use against me and make me feel guilty.
"How about we help you?" Offered Leiftan. "I can do your make up."
Leiftan... I couldn't help to look at him with adoration.
"I can help with the hair, I have a lot of experience because of Karenn" Said Nevra avoiding my gaze, maybe because he was feeling a little embarrased. I wasn't expecting him to help me too.
"And surely there's something that Lance and I can do as well" Mathieu and Lance... I wasn't expecting them to help me, but I was really grateful for their support. "What do you say? Do you let us help you out?
"Thank you, guys!"
[ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ]
Once I took a shower, Mathieu and Lance helped me put on my clothes. The outfit consisted of different pieces, so it was going to take some effort to get it perfect.
I was gadly surprised with the seriousness they took in doing the task.
I had the impression that their hands lingered in some parts of my body while adjusting my clothes, but maybe it was my imagination.
I had four guys over me, I was bound to feel self-conscious.
On the other hand, Nevra and Leiftan looked very concentrated while doing my hair and make up.
The vampire was brushing my hair with the utmost care. I even caught him smiling, something very weird nowadays.
I could feel Nevra's breath against my neck which was making me feel flustered.
And with Leiftan it was no different... his face was right in front of mine. It was impossible to avoid his passionate emerald eyes.
It was so hard to remain calm when he applied the lipstick. By the way he smirked, I was sure he knew the effect he was having in me.
This situation was so surreal.
I was so thankful.
Maybe after the concert ended, I could compesate them for their hard work...
I had several ideas in mind and surely they had some of their own.
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The image gives me so much material girl energy, I love it ♡
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autistic-af · 9 months
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(Sorry, very long ask again)
How do I get my special interests back ?
All my life I've gone through a cycle of special interests, mostly in the domain of fantasy but not only, that lasted months to years.
Archaeology, Greek mythology, stars, middle earth, you name it. And when they faded away after a long time I always had another coming right after, the transitions weren't long. If it wasn't a new one then I had Harry Potter. It was the ultimate spin, the one that always came back in time of need to anchor myself.
But in 2020 or 2021 when JKR started becoming much more vocal about our transphobia, antisemitism, ableism and general shitness having HP as a spin felt difficult. It was still my spin. But I no longer felt anything towards it than bitterness.
So I decided to get rid of it. It was painful as hell and tbh kinda felt like ripping my arm off. I didn't feel really complete. But at the time I also was really deep in my Jedi spin and getting lots of happiness from it, so I was coping.
But the thing is, when the Jedi spin started to exhaust itself after a year or something, nothing came to fill the void. All the former spins, technically they're still spins. I'll light up when I come across it, have a hard time not vibrating out of my skin when people talk about them. But they're kinda dormant. I no longer spend my days thinking about them, researching about them, interacting about them. And it feels so empty. There is this void that needs to be filled where my way to interact with the world and my absolute source of happiness were. But there is nothing to fill it.
I don't know if it's the Harry Potter thing per se. Now that I am the way I am I do feel guilty about ripping it apart from me because it was painful and this looks like its scars. But also that time was a very tumultuous time. I was barely accepting the fact that I was autistic, had stupidly decided the fact I had a disability did not mean I was disabled (duh) and was very shitty to myself in the process of proving myself that. Took a lot of responsibilities, hurt myself to go beyond anyone's expectations just to prove I could do it and rocketed myself in a burnout. So that's probably a very more likely reason that my spins left. Or maybe it's both.
But the thing is, I am doing better now. I think so at least. I'm done being so hard on myself and I'm trying to find my limits, I have my diagnosis and I'm no longer desperate that I'm condemned to suffer without help now that support is starting to come, I've found wonderful other autistic people to talk to IRL... I'm taking better care of myself and I believe it shows. But the spins are not coming back.
From the moment they left and I've started feeling so empty unto this day, I've been rotating all my old spins in the hope that one would spark. I've recently even tried coming back to HP, now that the bitterness has gone and on my own new terms. But it's all been meh. Never worked.
I've tried new things. Got into Star Trek specifically because I knew, from my pattern, that it was spin material. I thought it was working, I kinda developed something that looked like a spin on Vulcans ? But it only lasted a few weeks, like my every other attempt. And now the emptiness is back.
Sometimes it's like I've become used to it. I barely perceive it. I've learned to hide it with noise. Go on social media, listen to music, watch an endless stream of TV shows. Spend much less time with my own mind and what's lacking in it.
Some other times it's suffocating. I feel like the void is overtaking me and I'm suffocating, prisoner of my own mind that cannot reach to things the way it used to. Everything is grey and savourless.
I do really want my spins back. I feel that it is a fundamental part of my well-being.
So, I don't really know the cause of why they left. But do you or anyone have tips on how to make them come back ? Please ? I've run out of ideas I think, and have much difficulty accepting that I just have to live like that now.
This one is a tough one, because SpIns (in my experience) are random. I have experienced plenty of standard interests, but my SpIns have all been out of my control. All of mine are also long-standing, many a decade or older.
I have experienced burnout where interacting with my special interests has been difficult, but I've never lost them like you've experienced.
And I also experienced a loss with HP as much came to light a few years ago. It wasn't a SpIn, but it did give me great joy. I can imagine having to tear that away from yourself hurt.
I will put this to my followers who may have personal experiences or tips.
So, does anyone have advice on how to get a special interest back?
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impuric · 11 months
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some facts about me :
it's very hard for me to ignore background noise . god woke up and decided i apparently had to listen to everything . so i can't ignore ppl talking , babies crying ( aka my fucking nephew ) etc and it annoys me so fucking much like that shit irritates me to where i literally have to put on headphones and just BLAST music on a volume where i can't hear anything but just the song(s) playing
sometimes i get really scared if i hear banging along with yelling bc considering the fact i had to witness so many fucking arguments and shit it's what my brain somewhat defaults to
if i'm ever crying and you give me a happy song to listen to i will cry even more . please never give me a happy song expecting me to be happy after listening to it . just let me listen to my silly music taste and i'll feel better
some to most of you already know this but i'm picky with what foods i eat and don't eat due to certain flavors , textures etc and if a food i love has a certain topping i literally WONT eat it at all . i don't care if the topping is removable i'm refusing to eat it please give me something else ( and fun fact : i feel VERY guilty for doing this sometimes )
yeah i think that's it ok !!!! baibai !!!
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juststayquiete · 10 months
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2085, Northside.
Parts: one, two.
All in all, the gig wasn't that difficult. V infiltrated the area, zeroed every Animal who was there, asked Quiet to delete all the data on their servers and left the area the same way she arrived. V was almost unharmed expect the scratch from the ricochet that grazed her right arm. Her Kiroshis showed that nothing vital was damaged so she was only annoyed but not worried.
- Wow! What you did there was so impressive! - chirped the corpo-damsel in distress who was sitting in the backseat and put her hand on the front seat to lean closer to V. - You're really good at all this merc stuff!
V took a look in the rearview mirror and narrowed her eyes. There was a photo of Felicia in the data Mr. B provided - she was doe-eyed, freckled, cute looking girl who had appearance of someone who never hurt a fly (which was doubtful for anyone who had general knowledge about the ways the corpos climbed the ranks). Now her face was almost unrecognizable - her right eye was swollen and her nose was crooked, dried blood covered half of her face. When V found her in the Animals' base Felicia's right arm was unpleasant to look at - all fingers except the thumb were dislocated and twisted to the outside side of her palm. Now Felicia probably deliberately put that hand out of her sight, and no wonder here. But V still was surprised that the rat was in the good mood after all the torture and injuries.
- I'm going to take us to my ripper, - V said instead. - That's in the Tyger Claws's territory so Animals won't follow us there. We probably could lay low there for sometime but we'll decide that there.
- Alright, do your thing! I don't have a trusted ripper either way. Hey, by the way, who hired you? - the girl asked curiously.
V stopped the car before the red light and blinked at the question.
- Mr. Blue Eyes did. Remember him?
- Oh! - In the mirror V saw that Felicia was genuinely surprised if not shocked. - Really? Wow, I didn't know he cared about me that much, huh.
- What, you have that many friends who would save your ass or something?
The corpo-rat snorted and grinned looking at V through the mirror.
- You could say that. Well, I actually thought about my family, not my… boss.
The red light changed to the green and V turned in the Kabuki direction gaining speed since the roads were mostly empty in this area. V tried to push down her nosiness but in the end couldn't help herself:
- Not that I care that much, but what is your plan about Biotechnica since you were busted? Are you leaving the NC?
- Hm? Oh, no at all! To be fair, the leak was pointing fingers mostly at my director than at me. When I was taken by Animals she already fled the city. They were VERY curious about her. I don't think they're going to care about my involvement that much.
- Your director? - V frowned thoughtfully. - Interesting. So she's also a Night Corp's agent? Mr. B seems to be tight-lipped about her since he didn't mention her at all.
- Nah, she's a loyal Biotechnica dog, it's just the leak was kind of my doing so I just set her up.
V actually turned her head to look at grinning Felicia in utter disbelief.
- Are you fucking with Biotechnica?! Wait, does Mr. B even know or you are fucking him over at the same time?
- Of course he doesn't. I just hope my people inside already covered their tracks.
- Holy shit, - V laughed, suddenly feeling excited. - Why are you even doing that?
- I have my reasons, - Felicia answered with a coy smile.
- So you're not as empty-headed as you try to seem, aren't you? - V raised her brows at the corpo's reflection. She beamed showing her bloody teeth.
- Guilty as charged!
- And you're not afraid I'll snitch you to Mr. B?
- Nah, - the girl answered smirking like a motherfucker. - You don't seem like a type to lick corpos' asses to me. You are the type who enjoys watching them burn.
V barked a laugh.
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katzirra · 5 months
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Aggressively rubs my face, complaining about anything in life feels so tedious compared to what's going on in the world. World events and disasters and genocides and just fucking everything make you feel so small and worthless. Like god damn I feel guilty for thinking how stressed I am because HAHAH COULD BE WORSE, BITCH. WHICH is kind of a weird thing the internet really uh, perpetuates. Which is kinda what people get at when they say take care of your mental health.
Like I'm staying as up to date as I can but it's... wow it's hard to stomach, and it's hard to know what to do when you're in a financial spot lmao... Fucking god damn. Like carrying on like normal is really hard because there's that thought in the back of my mind right now about how upsetting it is realizing so many people can't do that. Will never do that again. It's like tv static in my head lately low key saddening me more and more.
But yaknow that just sounds like I'm complaining about a world event, but it's not. It's just...a profound sadness. Saturating things. I find myself just kinda sitting lately unsure what to be doing that feels... productive in this time. Not really feeling, uh, creative or happy. I dunno. Low simmering fear as well tbh.
That wasn't the topic I was planning to post about uh... FRIVOLOUS UPDATES I GUESS... I USE TO DO THOSE, YEAH? IDK WHO CARES ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE THESE DAYS TBH LOL
Taking a break from Xig because I'm just ..out of it and need the expectations off me for a second.
Having anxiety even checking my art blog because people weirdly correcting me/giving me a compliment that's shorter than a correction and making me come off rude telling them I'm not wrong makes me anxious as hell :))) so I end up avoiding my own haunts!!! How fucky is that.
I am almost done with my small sketchbook?? I was fixing a few pages up before hitting a few dried out Copics, which lead to me checking all of them to see who I needed to fix/replace and uh... relocate them in my office. Which became redoing my pen pouches and seeing if those got fucked up. Hopefully I'll finish that and start scanning. 2018-2023... with huge gaps in there lol...
I miss doing art I liked. Its kinda stagnant atm so I might take the rest of the year to do studies on angles and shit tbh. I need something. It all feels same same.
Uhhh figuring out some dental stuff - bought myself a bougie electric toothbrush and I think my old one's timer was fucked up and making me brush too long?? Which is bad!!! So this new one already has my teeth feeling better 👏 mom's genetics have me terrified!! My teeth feel better after two brushes??? insane.
Getting bloodwork done Thursday so hopefully figuring some shit out about my weight and health :))) I'd like to lose the like 20-45lb I mysteriously seemed to gain over the past few years??? Uhhh??? And figure my periods out, money has just been BAD since Hannibal's surgery....
Having panic scares about if my job is going away in December or not and hating every job listing I see online so I gotta look for whatever listing sites exist outside indeed. Also something this decent with the same pay :)))))) so that's on my todo list... again.
Box spring is busted on my bed, so hopefully I don't have to replace the mattress just yet because of the previous point AND THE FACT I JUST STARTED GETTING TO SAVE FOR MY PC..... first world problems but fuck, dudes. Vakarian is fucking suffering sometimes... :(( but we'll see because MATTRESS PRICES.......!!!
I cleaned my office and room and that made me feel like I've accomplished something for myself so that's... something.
Trying to focus on things. Depression cocktail is going on..... money, job, housing, health, the world... it's all so much all the time, man.
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so there are officially 100 people following me and that's so wild, like yes, when you think about it like "there's 7.837 billion people" it doesn't seem like a lot but when you think about it like "holy shit there are 100 people that care what I have to say??" it's pretty fucking crazy man
To everyone that's been here for a while, thank you so much for staying? Like it's so easy to leave but the fact that you didn't makes me feel so fuzzy and I'm so happy to have you all as my employees
(nsft past this point, proceed at your own risk)
Edward sat, face in his hands as the rain poured outside. It didn't look like it was gonna start to die down anytime soon. Eduardo came and sat by him, making sure to keep some space between them. Edd glared at him and the bandit just sighed "Geez it's not like it's my fault" "Still, don't think this changes anything, once we can leave I'm arresting you." It was quiet for a few moments except for the sound of the rain hitting the barn roof and ground around it. It was rather hot leaving a humid almost sticky feeling in the air, but Edu thought it was nice considering how dry it always seems to be. He leaned back more and looked at Edward, the detective just looking out into the rain.
"Y'know, I don't flirt with you because I expect anything back, you've made it pretty obvious you don't like me" he chuckled. Sure at first he liked to tease him because he thought he was cute but after Edd was so unreceptive he also did it to annoy him. However Edward, now looking at the taller, felt weirdly bad about that. Not guilty, it just gave him a bad feeling in his chest. It wasn't that he didn't like Eduardo, it was that he couldn't. He sighed softly and stood up "it's not that I don't like you, but it doesn't matter."
"...What does that mean?" Eduardo stood up as well, leaning on the bail of hay. "I just mean that it would never work, you would be put in jail." "Only if someone found out, we don't have to tell anybody" that seemed to frustrate him a little "We would still be breaking the law! And you already are! You're a criminal, and if anyone found out I could get in trouble too and then it's all just-" while he was talking, Eduardo had stood up straight and dusted some of the hay off his shirt, then taken about a step and a half forward to put booth his hands on Edward's hip and kissed him, silencing the detective. He had moved so quickly the brunet didn't have time to prosses or react to any of it.. and Eduardo was surprisingly good kisser.
It felt really nice, he put his hands on the bandit's shoulders as he felt Eduardo's arms fully wrap around his waist. It felt like fireworks in Edward's stomach as he was pressed against the other man, his chapped lips felt so nice he couldn't help how he melted into it. He honestly thought he may have fallen if Eduardo hadn't been holding him. The rain seemed a lot louder now that no one was talking. The kiss only broke once they needed air, slowly moving away, he could feel Eduardo's short breaths on his face. For a few moments it stayed quiet before the bandit spoke up "if you don't want me to, I'll never do that again, I swear it."
Edward had to think about it for a minute, he knew it was stupid and dangerous and would cause problems that were so easily avoidable but he just couldn't bring himself to tell him no, it felt too good to be in his arms, that feeling he put in the brunet's stomach that made his knees weak was too addicting. "Do you want me to?" Edd bit his lip a little and just nodded lightly, still looking up at him as he was kissed again and just like last time the detective was putty in his hands almost immediately. This time though Eduardo had permission and conformation that it was ok, He held Edd tighter before picking him up, the smart little thing wrapped his legs around Edu's waist right away. He pressed him down against the pile of hay so he could be on top of him without him just being on the ground and Edward seemed more then ok with that.
As embarrassing as it was Edward wasn't really used to being treated like this or touched like this, the feeling was so new to him and it was happening so fast, it was such a rush. The way Eduardo was pressing him down while exploring his mouth felt so wonderful. His hat had fallen off when Eduardo had first pushed him down but he didn't even really notice. It startled him when he felt hands up his shirt but he calmed. His hands were so big compared to Edd's, and his rough callused palms and fingers felt weirdly good on his sides, they were so warm. He took a few deep breathes once the kiss broke and Eduardo hastily moved to kiss his neck, nibbling on is collar bone a bit, enough to make him mewl and shudder. God, his little noises were like music to the bandit's ears he wanted to hear more.
Edward's vest then shirt were removed and just sort of pushed to the side. He was still panting softly as Eduardo held his wrists down, looking over his newly exposed light tan skin. The brunet couldn't help but blush a little at the way Eduardo was staring at him, he looked like a starved animal looking at a 64 ounce stake. He leaned down and started placing kisses down Edd's chest to his stomach while he unbuckled his pants, sliding them down with his underwear. His hands ran down his sides to hold and gently squish his thighs making the smaller's face go bright red. He was making plenty of hickies and soft bite marks all over him, wanting to know every inch of his body.
Edward has his fists clenched tight as he tried his best to stifle all the little noises that kept slipping out, little whimpers and gasps, even soft moans when he would bite down. At first he was a little confused when he felt something something press against his entrance until he realized it was one of Eduardo's fingers, giving a soft gasp and tensing up a little.
It felt weird when he pushed it inside, but it didn't hurt like he thought it would, it was just uncomfortable. He whined softly and wiggled a bit, Eduardo quietly hushing him and telling him to relax. He tried his best, it slowly didn't feel as weird anymore, and it actually felt pretty good once he started moving it. Edward couldn't help the little breathy moan that got out, wiggling more as a second finger was added, his lover slowly stretching his walls, preparing him. It was so exciting, his stomach felt like it was full of butterflies at the thought. That his virginity was being taken by an actual criminal, it seemed like such a far shot from what he thought he held morally important, but that just made it even more exhilarating. It was so new and a little bit scary even.
Now that the detective was comfortable with the fingers Eduardo decided he couldn't resist seeing the face he would make when he pressed into his sweet spot, he could only imagen how adorable it would be. It felt a bit weird since he was obviously searching for something, but Edward didn't know what. It felt so good deep inside him like this, he was softly panting and moaning constantly. Then he gasped before giving a loud very sweet moan, his face going bright red and his brain just felt even more scrambled. Eduardo was chuckling softly against his skin, grinning as he curled his fingers earning a high pitched moan. The brunettes drooling cock twitched as he wined, gently running his fingers into Edu's hair.
"E-eduardo" the taller grumbled quietly, not stopping and not acknowledging him other than that, clearly not done marking him up and even a little frustrated he was being interrupted. "C'mon... p-please?" He whispered that last part, honestly a little embarrassed of how needy he felt. That did seem to get his attention though, looking up at Edd for a moment before sitting up and getting more between his legs and starting to take off his own belt then taking off his jeans.
The shorter blushed deeply apon seeing the other's member, it was way bigger than his, but that also left him a little concerned. That was going to fit inside him??? Eduardo grabbed his legs and lifted them a bit, learning that Edward was surprisingly flexible, he would have to remember that. He spit in his hand then took his hard cock in his hand, lubing it up and pressing it against the brit's pink hole, watching the way he tensed up.
"Are you ready?" The taller asked softly. Hesitantly, Edward slowly nodded, trying his best to brace himself. Eduardo slowly pushed in, grunting quietly as the tight heat surrounded him. Edd whimpered, feeling Eduardo fill him, it felt so weird. Maybe it was because Eduardo had prepped him? He didn't know but it still stung. He was panting softly, face bright red as Eduardo kissed his neck sweetly, his stubble kind of tickled.
After a little bit like that Edd was pretty used to it and had adjusted, telling Eduardo he could start moving which he was more than happy to. He didn't want to hurt the brunet but he had been getting a little impatient. He pressed his legs forward more so he had more room to start going pretty hard right away. This seemed to startle the other a little bit though, moaning loudly and grabbing fist fulls of the hay. It felt incredible, like nothing he had ever felt and his head felt like it was full of fluff. Whimpering and squirming slightly as Eduardo let one of his legs go to stroke his cock.
It was so overwhelming he felt totally helpless, tears of pleasure welling up in his eyes before rolling down his cheeks and he drooled, incoherently begging the taller for more and not to stop. It was quite the sight indeed, Eduardo couldn't get enough of it. Fighting to keep his eyes open as he grunted, wanting to see all the adorable expressions his sub kept making. "F-fuck- Eduardo please-" he sobbed, his shoulders shaking slightly.
Edu leaned down and kissed him deeply to which the other immediately wrapped his arms around his neck giving lots of muffled moans into it, doing his best to kiss back though it was a bit clumsy and uncoordinated neither really minded. He loved the way the detective's lips felt so much, they were soft and tasted like soda. He gently bit his lip making the brit mewl softly into the kiss. Eduardo soon reluctantly broke the kiss, moving to once again kiss his neck. Edward could feel himself getting really close, and it was obvious by the way his voice got higher and he couldn't even really speak anymore, just moans and incoherent strings of nothing as drool rolled down his chin.
The bandit tried his best to go harder, huffing and panting under his breath. The smaller pretty much screamed as he came, tangling his fingers tight in his lover's dark brown locks. He was a mess as Eduardo pounded into him, the barn filled with the sounds of loud rain, skin against skin, and Edd's sweet noises. Eduardo's own climax was following shortly after, trying to shove it as deep as he could as he came. Edward moaned softly feeling it deep inside him, it was so hot. He gave a shaky breath and just melted against the hay, Eduardo panting softly with his face in the crook of his neck. Everything started slowing down again, but he still couldn't think.
The bandit sat up more after a few more moments, Edward whining softly. He pulled out, both of them shivering a little bit at the change. He wrapped his arms around the detective again and pretty much just collapsed on top of him, mumbling quiet things about how pretty he was or how well he had done. Edd blushed deeply listening to him, he felt so tired and Edu was so warm, he couldn't help dozing off, his partner following shortly after, the rain creating a calming background noise for them.
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light-wolf · 1 year
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Ok, time for some thoughts regarding yesterday's Nintendo Direct!
Pikmin 4: Nothing too revolutionary, just taking the Pikmin formula and refining/expanding it, like Pikmin 2 and 3 did before it. And honestly, that's not a bad thing! I love the Pikmin games, they're really fun and charming and this one seems to continue that trend. It seems we're getting all the existing Pikmin types in addition to the new Ice Pikmin so that'll be cool. And the new doggo is adorable! I'm really looking forward to this one.
Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective: This is a game that I always wanted to play and never got to do it, so I'm glad to see it ported to the Switch! Maybe this will be the time I actually play it.
Sea of Stars: Absolutely gorgeous and looks really fun as well, taking inspiration from one of my favorite games ever. Apparently it got a demo so I'll probably give that a try. I still need to play The Messenger though...
Game Boy and Game Boy Advance added to Nintendo Switch Online: Finally! And now I actually have the Expansion Pack thanks to a friend so I can get hyped about GBA too. The libraries are a bit limited for the time being but that's to be expected. Looking forward to replaying some of my favorites from that era and also try a few classics for the first time. Although the games I'm most hyped about are the ones that were confirmed to come in the future, like Oracle of Seasons/Ages, Pokémon TCG, Metroid Fusion and of course freaking GOLDEN SUN (yes, I'm ready to replay it for the millionth time).
Metroid Prime Remastered: Okay, I wasn't expecting this one, even though it had been rumored for a while. While I would've liked to see the entire trilogy in one package, the first Prime is arguably the best one and also one of the best games ever made. The remake looks amazing and much more polished than just a simple HD port. Seriously, if you haven't played this game before, give it a try, it's a masterpiece, and this is coming from someone who hates shooters (Metroid Prime isn't really a shooter).
Baten Kaitos I & II Remaster: HOLY SHIT. Another one (two?) that I always wanted to play but didn't get when it first came out before it became impossible to find, and never bothered with trying to emulate. I'd love to give the series a chance on modern hardware.
Professor Layton And The New World of Steam: HOOOOOO BOY!!! This might seriously be my favorite announcement of the Direct, even though they didn't really show us anything! I was a HUGE Layton fan during the DS era and I was so sad that the series kinda just died all of a sudden. I'm honestly so fucking hyped for this! Please be good, please be good, please be good!
Mario Kart 8 Deluxe DLC Wave 4: The new track looks amazing! Yoshi's Island was one of the defining games from my childhood so this gets me extremely nostalgic. Also Birdo was a nice surprise! I wasn't expecting characters in the pass! While I don't really care about Birdo in particular, this opens the door for more characters so maybe this means I can finally have my boy Diddy Kong again. Please. It's been so long.
The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom: Honestly I don't have a lot to say about this one. Am I hyped? Absolutely. But we still know so little about this game! What's the story about? How does it differ from BotW? Although, part of me kinda wishes it stays this way. Trailers tend to spoil too much stuff these days, so I'm fine with keeping the surprises for when I actually play the game. Oh, and it's a minor thing, but I hope they bring back Wolf Link and/or a similar mechanic (and not locked to amiibo this time). I just loved exploring Hyrule with a doggo.
Overall a really exciting Direct, and there were also a bunch of other cool announcements that I didn't touch here. Now to work on my backlog so I can play shiny new games without feeling guilty, lol.
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d-amore · 10 months
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💌 - What would a love letter from your f/o look like?
🐱 - Would you adopt a pet together? If so, what pet would you get?
🎟 - What would a movie date with your f/o look like?
With Leon 👀
🐱: tbh, no!! nor me or him like having pets :') i like cats and dogs from a distance and he's ok with dogs though!
🎟: we usually stick to hero and action movies! he likes a lot and hero movies are my guilty pleasure kjdjgjdfj sometimes we watch romcoms too (he complains but i know he enjoys it)
💌: OK SO THIS MIGHT BE OOC BUT I'LL TRY‼️
Dear Hello Mari Hey Mari! It's probably must be weird to be getting a card like, on this day and age, but!...
tbh taka and chihiro told me it'd be cute. and it'd help! that's the main reason i'm writing tbh. idk why i'm so nervous writing this! i just hope you never read it. i'll burn it after i finish this. yeah, i'm doing that
it's just. idk how to explain this. i mean i know but it's probably not what you'd expect. actually, you'd expect it from me. i'm not a prince on a white horse, y'know? i'm far away from that. i'm more like a 80s rockstar with an intense relationship, the type of relationship where he writes cool songs that go down on history
and ig that's just how you make me feel, y'know? like i could write an amazing song that i'd show you and say "i wrote this for you babe". like, you know i don't like baseball, but everytime ik you're watching, i feel like i need to score perfectly, just to... show off
fuck that sounds horrible. everyone knows i do that with any girl. but you're not any girl. not that i mean you're not like others girls or whatever, i mean maybe you're a little bit, but you're... fuck i should have been writing this with a pencil
IT'S JUST THAT... i care what you think of me. i want you to think of me with love, if you get me, and not like "ugh that annoying boy" like i think you're thinking sometimes. i want you to think of me and smile just like i do when i think of you. or search for me in a room just like i search for you. or want to show off but get fucking nervous when you see me, just like i get nervous when i see you
but i always think i'm not good enough for you. that i'll always be viewed as the lady's man and not.... a boyfriend. an actual boyfriend. the one that shows up with flowers, takes care of his image and that can meet your parents. i fear i'm not any of these things. i fear that you'll reject me
so... yeah. i think that's all. i'll pretend that you'll read this, giggle and say how much you love me too. but instead i'll burn this sappy shit. God i'm stupid
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capricornwriter5 · 2 years
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You are the one - Chapter 13
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Pairing: Bang Chan x female OC; Lee Know x female OC
Genre: au (high shool, college), love triangle, fluff, angst, smut, from friends to lovers. Warning: soft drugs
Words: 5k
Summary: Bang Chan and Jasmine have been best friends for as long as they can remember. With little time to finish high school, they both begin to develop romantic feelings. However, family situations and communication issues force them to move away. Once in college, they decide to try to regain the friendship they had. As Bang Chan sees the opportunity to finally be with the girl he has always loved, his friend Lee Know, who had been studying in England, returns home and the connection he develops with Jasmine is undeniable. Can the chemistry and attraction with Lee Know outweigh a tender first love and memories of years of friendship between Bang Chan and Jasmine?
Disclaimer: I named the character Jasmine (Minnie for Chan 🥰) because I love that name. Besides, it’s easier if we want to see Chan saying cute names (it’s better than just Y/N, I think) but you can totally picture yourselves in the story, that’s the idea. <3
Chapter 13 - My friend and my ex-girlfriend?
"What are you talking about?" Jasmine replied sounding more nervous than she expected.
She tried to avoid Chan's question, tried to pretend there was nothing she needed to tell him, nothing related to Lee Know.
"You were too awkward, come on, you can trust me. If he was rude, ignore him, Lee Know is..."
"No, is not that." Now it was the blush on her face that betrayed her. The embarrassment of having to admit to him that she had come just a stone's throw away from sleeping with one of his best friends was causing Jaz too much anxiety; however, lying was simply unacceptable to the girl, so she steeled herself and looked him in the eye."I think yesterday I overdid it with alcohol and..."
"Oh! I get it already." Chan said clearing his throat. It wasn't the first time that he knew something was happening between Jaz and another guy, but he didn't expect that other dude to be his friend.
At the moment he was quite surprised, it never crossed his mind that something could happen between his ex-girlfriend and his friend; however, if he thought about it more calmly, there was nothing strange about it. Bang Chan knew what Lee Know was like, he knew Jaz and him perfectly. For one thing, there was no one less serious about relationships than his friend, and for another, his ex-girlfriend was interested in anything but being in a relationship, so a chance meeting between them wasn't that strange. After all, Lee Know was an expert at finding the most beautiful girls and Jasmine didn't want anything serious at all.
For their part, things between Chan and Jaz had calmed down quite a bit, they had gone a long time in which they had not experienced any awkward or tense moments. However, that didn't make the affair between Jaz and Lee Know a pleasant topic of conversation.
"I had no idea he was your friend and..."
"Minnie, it's okay, you don't have to worry or feel bad. Better focus on eating, you haven't even tasted your food." He said bringing the plate closer to her and wishing the topic would die right there. He wanted to convince himself that he didn't care what he had just found out.
*********
Sooner than she thought, Jasmine was back at her apartment and found Romy in better condition than she was when she left. At least she had already bathed and changed.
"I swear I'll never go out with you again, or at least I'll never listen to you with anything related to guys. You won't believe what happened. It turned out that Minho is one of Chris's best friends."
"What? You have to be kidding me."
"No, Romy, I'm serious. I was about to fuck one of my ex-boyfriend's best friends in public, the friend who, by the way, received Chris in England and with whom he's working with. Shit!" She said covering her face as she felt truly guilty.
"Jaz, calm down." Romy approached her friend, she wasn't going to let her feel bad about something that had absolutely nothing wrong with it. "You went out to have fun, that's all you did."
"Romy, he's friends with Chris and..."
"With whom you broke up more than a year ago, with whom now you only have a friendship and who is also making his life and also dates people not because he wants to hurt you, but because it is normal, healthy. Did Minho say something in front of Chan that made you uncomfortable?"
"No, not at all, apparently the guy's a gentleman. He never said anything inappropriate, just that he liked my hair."
"So there you go, he's not making a big deal on whatever happened yesterday, follow his lead, Jaz! You don't owe anyone an explanation, you were just having fun."
"I can't believe that out of all the men at that party I decided to grope a friend of my ex-boyfriend."
"You had no idea who it was, and even if you did, it's NOT a bad thing, stop blaming yourself. After all, it was a one-night stand, right?"
"Totally!"
"You didn't even spend the night with him, chill, breathe. Let Chan get over it and let your shock get over it too. If Minho's Chan's friend, you're going to keep seeing him, you can't turn pale and feel bad every time you see him."
"You're right."
"Then relax, there's nothing to worry about." 
**********
As expected, on the night when Han and Changbin saw Lee Know, they gave him an unforgettable welcome. Despite not seeing each other for several years, the four of them had remained very close, so living so close together and studying at the same university was more than they could ask for. 
Naturally, as days went by, Lee Know not only saw his friends but also Jasmine. However, both of them acted as if nothing had happened, as if they hadn't eaten each other, which, at some point puzzled both of them. 
On one hand, Lee Know was so used to girls looking back for him after spending a night with them, that having Jasmine in front of him acting as if they had just known each other and as she was interested in nothing more but her classes surprised him. On the other hand, Lee Know's lack of interest and coldness convinced Jaz that he probably just remembered part of what happened that night. Yet, that changed one afternoon. 
On Thursday, he had gone to Chan's to have some beer with the guys and found out that Jaz was in the living room watching a movie with Bang Chan; actually, the movie was just ending when Lee Know sat with them. 
As he saw Jasmine and Chan laughing between them he noticed that her lip was still swollen.
"So, are you leaving? Minnie, come on, we didn't have our international food Tuesday and now you're leaving this early. I'm starting to think that you're hiding something."
"The only thing that I'm hiding is how tired I am of a stupid project." She replied taking her bag. "I promise you next week we'll eat together, Chris." The girl bowed to kiss Chan's forehead and then saw Lee Know, whose gaze was fixed on her lips. 
Minho had noticed that despite having kissed Jasmine on Saturday, it was already Thursday and her lip was still considerably swollen. 
"Hey, dude! What's wrong? You're too serious." Chan said.
"Yeah, sorry, I was thinking about something of the gallery."
Jasmine didn't hear the rest of the conversation, for she left the apartment trying to convince herself that she had seen wrong and Lee Know wasn't looking at her lips.
**********
The next day it was Han the one who wrote in the group chat asking who would eat with him in the cafeteria and apparently all of his friends were free. Jaz saw that as the perfect chance to finally introduce Romy to the guys, and immediately wrote to her. Romy agreed to eat with them, after all, she was also excited to meet the friends who Jaz always talked about. 
Jasmine had arrived at the university canteen first to secure a table as the place was extremely crowded.
"I still have time before the others come, I should finish the design." She thought pulling out one of her sketchbooks. As always when Jasmine had a pencil in her hands and a piece of paper in front of her, the girl absolutely blocked out everything that was going on around her. 
Just as during her high school days, Jasmine continued to be an outstanding student; in addition to having the scholarship she had earned, she also had a part-time job as an assistant. However, there was a teacher in particular with whom she had had several hardships from the first day, on more than one occasion he had tried to humiliate her in class and just a week ago he had assigned her the most difficult project. To make matters worse, the professor taught several of the courses that Jasmine had to take, so she would be in constant torment until she graduated.
The professor had given her the plans of a dilapidated gallery and Jasmine had to take care of transforming it into a dance academy. Moreover, she needed to figure out how to maximize the use of the space and make it to her professor's liking. The place was hell for any interior designer and it was quite difficult to visualize a successful change, but it was not for nothing that Jasmine stood out among all her classmates, and soon she was outlining the first ideas.
Suddenly, the most random object EVER interrupted her drawing when came rolling, it was a lip balm.
"What the hell?" 
"You can't continue with your lip like that, I mean... for dignity." Lee Know said trying not to laugh as he sat in front of her.
"Does it really look that bad?"
"On a scale of one to ten, I would say an eleven."
"You're an idiot," Jasmine said without holding back from laughing. "What's this supposed to be?"
"It has anti-inflammatory properties, try it."
"So you felt bad about seeing me walk around campus with a swollen lip and decided to do the one good deed of the year?"
"No, I didn't feel bad, I'm just assuming my responsibility."
"Thanks, that's very kind of you, I suppose."
Since Lee Know had arrived earlier than the rest, there was nothing else to do but pay attention to Jaz's homework. "What are you doing?" Jasmine explained her assignment and Lee Know nodded while listening to her. "So a dance studio and a demanding professor sounds challenging. I've visited several of these places and I'm picky too, I'd be happy to tell you how bad your design sucks when you make it. That way you'd go prepared." He offered by shrugging his shoulders as if it was the best offer of all.
Just when Jasmine looked at him as if waiting for him to tell her that it was a joke and realized that he was serious, the girl chuckled loudly.
"Look, there's Jaz and Lee Know!" Han said standing on tiptoe and pointing at the couple when he heard his friend's laugh.
Han, Changbin, and Chan had arrived at the cafeteria together and while the first two walked as if nothing had happened, Chan felt a pang in his chest, somewhat annoyed at seeing his best friend laugh like that with Minho. However, he paid no attention to it and soon they were all sitting together.
"Shouldn't Romy be here?" Chan asked Jasmine after they had all decided what they would eat.
"She sent a message saying she was late but... look! Here she comes in." She said raising her hand at the same time all the boys turned to look at her.
"I rather think she's running away." Said Lee Know noticing that Romy had stopped short and had made the worst face of all before going out.
"What the fuck?" Jaz asked very surprised and got up to talk to her friend before she disappeared.
The conversation with Romy was brief but clear enough for Jasmine to understand why she didn't want to have lunch with them. The girl had been complaining about a boy for months, even before she entered college. Supposedly, there was someone she called "the ultimate idiot" who had made one mistake after another, made the most inappropriate comments, and basically represented everything Romy hated. It was the same boy who had left and had forced her to present an assignment alone. Well, it turned out that it was nothing more and nothing less than Changbin.
When Jaz returned to the table, she hadn't even sat down when she had fiercely punched Changbin's shoulder. The reactions were unique, Han's eyes widened, Lee Know laughed heartily and Chan had a confused expression that showed how lost he was.
"Ouch, Jaz, that hurt!" Changbin griped massaging his shoulder. "I think you dislocated it!"
"I don't doubt that Changbin deserved that blow," Chan said looking at his best friend with fear. "But could you tell what's going on?"
"Changbin's the ultimate idiot!"
That comment from Jaz again set off a chain reaction that no one could forget, at least not the students sitting near them. Lee Know laughed until his stomach ached but not just because of Chanbin's offended face, but because of the exaggerated way Chan opened his mouth, and Han looked at everyone confused.
"You were the one who caused Han to spill the water bottle on Romy on the day of the entrance exam!"
"Oh! Jaz's right, that was Rosemary!" Han realized.
"No way... I also heard Romy talking about how done she was with a classmate. Since the first day I came here and she was helping me with my luggage she mentioned something. No fucking way that same dude's Changbin." Lee Know added.
"Wait a minute everyone! Are you telling me that the Romy you've been talking about for so long is Rosemary, my classmate in philosophy?" Changbin asked.
"You're the last one who can ask for explanations, Changbin, you've been an idiot to her. Go apologize." Chan ordered.
"What? But I haven't done anything!"
"You went on vacation with Han and let her present alone, that's not counting all the stupid things you've done before," Jasmine said shaking her head negatively.
"But..."
"Go!" Chan commanded and Changbin looked at Jasmine as if hoping she would be more understanding.
"What are you waiting for? Go!" Jasmine repeated and in seconds Changbin was up.
Later, at the boys' apartment, Han and Lee Know were talking in the kitchen while Chan and Jasmine were cooking something. Suddenly, Changbin came in, and after making a mess and not saying anything clear to anyone, he took out the coffee maker, something he hadn't done so far. "Someone wants coffee?" He asked trying to connect it.
"What the hell's wrong with you? It's not used that way." Lee Know said looking at him with disgust. "Get off, let me do it."
"No way, from now on I'll make coffee in this apartment."
"Changbin, you can't even cook an egg, let Lee Know do it," Chan said trying to push him away but Changbin ignored them all.
As his friends looked at him mockingly, Jasmine instead felt a little sorry for him; after all, Han was right and Jaz and Chan saw him as their youngest son. "Honey, we all thank you for your goodwill but..."
"I'll prepare it, all of you wait, you'll drink the best coffee ever."
After a few long minutes in which the group of friends watched Changbin make a mess in the kitchen trying to prepare a few cups of coffee, they had in front of them the final product that, to tell the truth, looked quite unpleasant.
"Well, I'm outta there, I'm not drinking this shit." Lee Know said taking his things and leaving.
Unfortunately for the whole group, Changbin continued to make the coffee and the consequences were always the same: Han would get sick to his stomach and Chan would suffer from energy spikes that lasted for hours. No one really understood what was going on, but they suspected it had to do with Romy and the apology he had to offer.
The day when Jasmine strictly prohibited Changbin's coffee was after an embarrassing story that she'll never forget. She and Chan had agreed to go to a lecture together. Arriving late had been a wrong idea, since they had to sit in the center of the auditorium, making everyone uncomfortable as they passed by. Also, Chan had such a rush of energy that he couldn't stop moving, that wouldn't have been so terrible if it hadn't been for the fact that the chairs were excessively small for him and every time he tried to change position he did not only hit Jaz but also kicked the chairs in front and the people seated on them.
"Stop it, Chris! You've dropped your cell phone three times, you've hit the guy from the front five and I assure you that tomorrow I'll have a bruise on my arm from all the times you've hit me. What the hell is wrong with you?" Jasmine whispered, adjusting her shirt, because from moving around so much, Chan hadn't even realized that he had left her back half bare.
"I'm a little uncomfortable," Chan said louder than he intended.
"You're shaking like a rabbit, what did you consume, huh?"
"Nothing, I swear nothing!"
"For the love of anything you want, stop yelling," Jasmine said with a red face seeing that the professor had remained silent and was looking at them attentively. In fact, Chan had to bow his head a little in apology before he could continue.
"Control yourself, keep your hands still and if you want to move, tell me first to avoid hitting more people."
"How about we get out of here and go for a swim?"
"We went swimming in the morning, I won't go again."
"How about going for a run after this?"
"I would if you hadn't disabled me by kicking me."
"Come on, Minnie, it's nothing, your leg is perfect."
"Chris, what are you doing?" She asked in horror as she watched him try to bend down to get a better look at her knee.
"You have a mole I've never seen before!"
"Chris..."
Late, too late, because when Chan tried to straighten up he did it with too much force, he lost his balance in such a small chair, and not only did he end up falling, but he also brought Jasmine with him. 
The scandal was such that Jasmine almost ran out with her best friend from the place.
"You drank from Changbin's coffee again!" The hysterical girl told him when they were on their way to the apartment.
"It was just a little drink."
"I swear by God that I'm going to throw out that damn coffee maker. Please don't tell me Han also drank."
"Ooops..."
Before Jasmine could kick him, Chan literally ran away as Jasmine went directly to the library to study. Later, when the girl's concern won over her, she decided to visit the boys in their apartment, and to Jaz's surprise, Lee Know was the one who received her since Han was locked in the bathroom and Chan had almost fainted on one of the armchairs. The energy had already gone down and now he couldn't and didn't want to move.
"I tried to give him a couple of meds, but I think he's going to die today. So as Han." Lee Know said as Jaz sat down next to him.
"That stupid coffee..."
"I threw the machine away."
"I'll be grateful to you all my life for that." Jasmine said with a sigh.
For the rest of the day, Han and Chan suffered the consequences of Changbin's coffee and swore to each other that they would never accept anything from their friend again. For his part, Changbin did not have the time or courage to claim Lee Know for having thrown the coffee maker because a gaze from Jasmine was enough for him to never speak about it.
As Lee Know and Jasmine worked at the same time that they looked after their friends, he realized Jasmine continue working on the project he had seen at the cafeteria. The guy approached from behind and took the sketchbook as if it was his.
"Wow! This doesn't suck, you're actually good at this."
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" Jasmine asked while from the couch, Bang Chan saw them.
"Yes, it is."
"You have a weird way to say nice things, have you ever considered going to therapy on how to socialize?" Lee Know's amazement before such an answer silenced him for some seconds until Jaz talked again. "You can say that you like the drawing, it won't hurt you to say something without sarcasm, you know?" She asked pulling down Minho's cap and making him chuckle. 
"Minnie, it's late, I'll walk you." Chan said trying to get up from the couch where he had been for hours without moving.
"I can go with her, we're going in the same direction." Said Lee Know gathering his things. "I've been here a long time, Soonie and Doongi must miss me."
"Who are they?" Changbin asked with a shout from his room.
"Two? Aren't you supposed to have one cat and a fish?" Han asked, barely lifting his head from the other couch where he had lain.
Lee Know looked at the two more than offended, they all knew how important his cats were to him, but Changbin didn't even know who they were and Han was far from even knowing how many he had.
"What about Dori?" Jasmine asked. "Did you punish her for taking your stuff again?"
"How do you know that?" Han asked as Chan paid attention in silence.
"Because Lee Know has at least a week saying that Dori is grounded. You guys never really listen, right?"
"There's no point in talking about this anymore, come on, Jaz, I'll walk with you." Lee Know said.
"Chris is better if you stay resting, I can survive a walk with Lee Know." She teased."See you, guys, call me if you need anything."
Chan nodded as he watched them going together. He had noticed that they got along well and even though they didn't spend much time together when he saw them interacting they did it in a good way. Despite Chan had never seen them flirting, the idea of ​​his friend and ex-girlfriend together at a party did not leave his mind. He knew it didn't make sense, he hadn't actually seen anything strange between them, only Lee Know's look the first morning the three of them had breakfast together. Besides, what did he care if something happened between them or not?
"Come on, nothing's happening, Chan, don't be ridiculous." He thought going back to the couch and reading a few messages he had from the girl he was dating.
**********
A couple of weeks later, Chan was jogging around the campus and ended up running into Lee Know, who did not have a pleasing look and refused his friend's invitation to go to lunch together.
"I'm sorry, bro, I can't. It turned out not to be as easy as I thought to make up for the start of classes that I missed due to being late. I never have time to do anything and I'm in danger of losing a class."
"Hey, relax a bit, you're too tense. Also, have you seen the face you have yet?" Bang Chan asked laughing a little. "I don't have classes for the rest of the day, let's go get something to eat."
"Chan, I really can't, you've already finished your meetings with the artists who want to put their works up for sale in galleries, but I still have at least five meetings pending. In fact, one of them wants us to meet in person." He said rolling his eyes.
"If you want, I can take over. Go have some rest, I'll take care."
"It's okay, it's part of my responsibilities. If I finish this quickly, I'll stop by your apartment later."
Lee Know ran a lot that day to get all his assignments done so he could attend the meeting he had. It hadn't been a good day, he was extraordinarily exhausted and all he wanted was to talk to the artist, go home, spend some time with his cats, and sleep. Fortunately, he would meet with the artist at a restaurant close to the university, so when he realized that twenty minutes had passed and he had not shown up, at least Lee Know had the consolation that he would not have to walk far to get back to his apartment.
"Now's when you decide to say that you're not coming?" He thought angrily as he read the email on his cell phone.
"Lee Know?" The boy looked up from the screen when he heard his name and saw Jasmine in front of him. "What are you doing here? I thought you didn't like vegan food."
"I don't like it, I hate it. And you know what else I hate? When someone stands me up." He said looking so grumpy, that the girl couldn't help but laugh.
"What's happening? Don't tell me a girl broke your heart and decided not to show up."
"Please, that'll never happen." He stated totally sure. "I had a work meeting that never happened and now I'm not only tired and humiliated, but I'm also hungry and everything here's horrible. I'd rather pull up some grass from the one in the driveway and eat it, it'd be cheaper and it'd taste exactly the same." 
Jasmine didn't even try not to laugh, she never imagined seeing him so bitter and even though Lee Know gave her a dirty look, she sat down next to him.
"Ok, first of all, nobody humiliated you, don't be dramatic, cat boy. Second, if you're tired, you could go rest, but I frankly think you could use something other than grass to eat. Have you ever eaten anything from here or are you just judging without knowing?"
"Everything vegan I've ever eaten is disgusting."
"The food here's delicious, I'm sure you can find something you like."
"Is that your way of telling me you want to spend more time with me?" He asked teasing her and raising his eyebrows coquettishly, but in response, he only got Jasmine's back, as the girl ignored him and walked towards the counter.
Jaz decided to ignore her friend and choose what she would eat that day. They were just offering some new dishes and they all looked mouthwatering. Finally, she chose what to eat and after paying, she turned around and saw that Lee Know was still at the table just as irritated as before. Deciding to put aside Lee Know's cold and joking personality, Jasmine felt a little bad that he wasn't having a good day. She must have been crazy to feel sorry for the guy, but she finally succumbed and in a matter of minutes she was back with him.
"What's that supposed to be?" He asked seeing what Jaz had brought to the table. "Is that crap your lunch?"
"No, they're still preparing and packing it. But I wasn't going to leave without showing you that you're wrong and that there are things that you may like, try it. Come on, don't be proud."
"What difference does it make? After all, this day could not be worse, eating a dessert that..." Minho couldn't say another word as Jasmine had literally stuffed the spoon into his mouth. 
Lee Know was seconds away from fighting with her, Jasmine saw his back twitch just like a cat does when it gets angry. However, the sweet taste of the peach cobbler that Jaz had bought him got the better of him and made him widen his eyes as he savored the dessert.
"Okay, there's my good deed for the day, I can go now," Jasmine said laughing.
The girl returned for her food, she had planned to eat in her apartment; she never imagined that her plans would change so much, but that's how it was when she was in front of the door and Lee Know stopped her by taking her hand. The two of them could have sworn they felt an electric shock when their hands touched. It was such a strange feeling that they both moved away and looked at their hands as if searching for an explanation that they would not find so easily.
"Maybe I was wrong and the food at this place is not that bad." The boy said avoiding Jasmine's eyes. "But I don't know what to order, so what do you think about eating here?"
"Is that your way of telling me you want to spend more time with me?" Jasmine teased.
"Yes." Lee Know's response was accompanied by a serious look as if what he had said was the obvious thing and Jasmine's question made no sense. "But don't get excited, it's just because I don't know what to order."
"You're such a jerk." The girl answered laughing next to him and returning to the table.
Jaz and Minho ate and talked comfortably. The conversation flowed, the jokes poured, and they even made the same comments, many of them more malicious than necessary. They hadn't shared a meal alone, they always had one of the boys with them, so they hadn't had time to realize that they not only got along but that they looked a lot alike. They had the same sense of humor and many likes in common.
"So, do you like ballet too?"
"I even have original posters from various presentations I went to. I knew quite a few people who worked in theaters when I lived in England."
"That's great! I haven't seen a ballet for a long time because of Dad..." When Jasmine realized that she was going to talk about her dad and that she was going to say that she hadn't come back to theaters because she hadn't seen her dad again, she fell silent and drank her juice.
"You were saying..."
"That I have some time without seeing a ballet presentation in the theater."
"I think you were going to say something else."
Without knowing why, Jasmine just kept talking, it was as if the awkwardness of the topic of her father disappeared, something strange, very strange, because even with Romy she didn't mention her father much. "I hung out with dad a lot, but we don't have a good relationship now, so I think I lost the habit of going to the theater."
"I understand you, mom likes them a lot, but since the divorce everything has changed a lot, we hardly talk."
"Sorry..."
"Why? They were the ones who decided to ruin their relationship by not being able to speak clearly and saying that they had met someone else."
"I... I had no idea, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have reminded you of that."
"Jaz, you don't have to apologize, it was their argument, their problem, not mine."
"My parents also separated. And also... also for infidelity." 
What was she doing? Why did she suddenly decide to tell Lee Know about it? To the boy who wasn't even his close friend. Yes, they got along, yes, they had the same social circle, yes, they had kissed each other, but they weren't friends, it was the first time they took time to talk like civilized people and there she was, telling him intimacies that she had kept for a long time.
"Don't let that control your life. I understand that it bothers you, I was too, for a long time, but in the end, they ruined the relationship they had as a couple, not the one they have with me. They failed as husband and wife, not as parents." He said shrugging his shoulders.
"Wow..." Jasmine said genuinely impressed to hear those words.
"I'm cool, right? You're thinking how someone as cool as me could possibly exist." Jaz laughed heartily and gently kicked him under the table. "You're a self-centered idiot, that's what I'm thinking."
While the two of them were still talking and having a good time, Chan had also gone to eat, in fact, he was already on his way back to the apartment when a smile caught his attention and he stopped walking. Despite being far away and looking at her through a window, Jasmine's smile would always catch his attention, always make him stop and that was precisely what happened. His best friend was laughing, but he wasn't sure who she was with until her date came over to see a piece of paper that Jaz had nearby, and that's when he saw Lee Know.
"What the hell?" Chan asked without understanding what was happening until little by little he began to tie up the points. 
Now he understood why Lee Know hadn't eaten with him, he had a date with Jasmine. Since when were they dating? Why were they hiding it? Why the hell had neither of them had the guts to tell him they were dating? Were they a couple or were they just sleeping together? There were so many questions that Bang Chan didn't know where to start, which answer to look for first. That was how Chan's normally lovely and tender face changed to a terrifying one, he was annoyed, really annoyed with both of them, not because they were dating, that didn't interest him in the least, or at least that was he repeated, he was furious and hurt because none had said anything to him. They had preferred to hide from everyone, hide from him. In a matter of seconds, he had convinced himself that Lee Know and Jaz had a real relationship, it did not cross his mind to consider that they had met by chance. It was the first time in his life that Chan was overthinking, convincing himself that every time he had seen them talk to each other it was because they were already together. Before continuing with all the imaginary scenarios and getting more upset about the alleged deception, he left without wanting to see them anymore.
Meanwhile, inside the restaurant...
"Do you remember the homework I was doing a while back in the cafeteria? The one that you saw at the guys' apartment?" Jaz asked getting a nod from the boy as an answer. "Since it's a huge thing and it's worth almost all of the final grade, the professor said that he wanted us all to visit sites related to our projects. I looked for other dance academies. It turns out that I discovered this in one of them." She showed the paper that Chan had seen through the window to Lee Know looking on.
"No shit! This dancer retired several years ago, he was very talented. Is he seriously giving a talk?"
"Not just a talk! See what it says here, the talk will end with an exhibition of videos and photographs of his entire life as a dancer, from when he was an apprentice until he decided to retire. Isn't that great? I bought two tickets, but Romy and Chris told me they didn't have time, although I really don't think they wanted to go. I also asked Han and Bin to go but they just laughed at me. Hyunjin and Felix are far away so I decided to go alone, it's something I don't want to miss."
"Please let me go!" He asked with an emotion that only a child could have. Lee Know went from being the darkest person that day to being the most cheerful. "Please, I want to go! Tell me you didn't sell that ticket." Jaz took the two tickets out of her bag and Lee Know's eyes were so bright that the girl laughed even more as she handed them over. 
"It's this Saturday, don't be late."
"Of course, I won't be late, I'll pick you up early, I promise."
"Then I'll wait for you." 
Lee Know didn't take his eyes off the ticket, at that moment, he wasn't truly thinking about having a date with Jaz and neither was she, the question was what would happen once they went out alone.
To be continued... 🐺
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livia-dovehallow · 1 year
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chot asks continued!
Im sorry but after how the [redacted] I can’t stand them, I inly care for [redacted] the only ones that tried to [redacted].
They werr way to cruel, and even months later still [redacted] and [redacted] is glad [redacted], I hate it
This book made a [redacted], and [redacted] deserves better
**SPOILER WARNING**
original ask:
Im sorry but after how the main gang treated Grace I can’t stand them, I inly care for Kit and Alastair the only ones that tried to put in her pkace.
They werr way to cruel, and even months later still hate her and James is glad shes linely and that she lives in pain for her past, I hate it
This book made a Grace stan, and she deserves better
/////
JAMES SAYING THAT WAS SO UNCALLED FOR SKJDFKSLJF
it's one thing for him to have said something like "I don't think I'll ever forgive her" but for him to say he's glad she's lonely and hope she is in pain for the rest of her life? after she literally did all that she did to save London with them? and she's literally Jesse's sister?? (and Jesse literally turned his back on her when she needed him most?!)
Christopher really was the only one with a heart fr fr
and Alastair did very similar to Grace in terms of helped the gang save London despite their past with the gang and never explictly asked to be forgiven by them but Alastair got forgiven and Grace didn't? bro I really would have at least thought Thomas would have stood up for Grace after Kit died because behind Kit, Thomas has the next biggest heart, and Kit was his best friend/brother/more than just a cousin who obviously thought Grace deserved a chance and he gave Alastair a chance despite what Alastair had said about his literal own father.
in my mind, I really wanted Grace to end up living with one of her uncles with Jesse. I really wanted that for them-- an actual family who loved them.
and I really do think that Gideon and Gabriel would have been so upset to find out what James said about Grace because at least they would have recognized the fucked up shit Tatiana did to her (plus, if anyone knows about forgiveness and making good on wrongs, it would be the Lightwoods)
so yeah. in my heart, I think Grace finally hears the words "we love you" or "you're forgiven" by Gideon or Gabriel (and/or their wives). I don't think they would blame her at all for their children's deaths (Barbara & Kit) because they would know it was all Tatiana's fault and obviously Grace feels monumentally guilty about everything and was devestated by Kit's death
this turned into a much longer rant that i expected it to
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genshrineimpact · 2 years
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Heeeey why don't you accept requests :( Writing request and suggestions are the same?? Theres no different imo
might count as a 'vent' for some people so just in case i'll put it under the cut!
cw: vent(-ish, though tbh all of this is /gen and /nm)
in summary: because i write for myself.
and to answer your question - no, they're not the same, from my point of view.
for example, this is what i'm doing currently if you've noticed: you might send me idea A. i might or might not agree with idea A and just leave it at that. i might get inspired from idea A and expand more upon it. i might get inspired from idea A and write another idea that isn't exactly related to idea A - maybe B, Z, or even 123. i might not get any inspiration from idea A, reply with a 'this is good i like this', and then come back the next day to refer back to idea A because suddenly my tiny writer brain manages to expand upon idea A.
this means that i have full creative freedom over what i write, and i'm not constrained to a specific bubble (prompt & time). that's why i said i won't write requests but i do take suggestions. i need people to know that there's no guarantee that what you're sending in will get a full fic or drabble or scenario or headcanon or whatever it is that you wanted to see. because ultimately i am writing for my own satisfaction.
compare that to a typical writing request blog. you send a writer idea A. if the writer is comfortable and inspired to write idea A, then they write idea A. otherwise, it sits on their draft for days, months, even years. alternatively, it gets deleted - either immediately or after some time has passed. in that case, sometimes the writer feels guilty, other times they don't, but trust me when i say the former doesn't feel good. in any case, maybe they post an announcement of cleaning their ask box, and some are unfortunate enough to receive hate saying that they're "inconsiderate" and "can't write for shit"- look, it sucks, okay. i've been there. therefore, i will confidently say this:
this blog is not and will never be a writing request blog.
i've abandoned so many of those in the past because i am tired of writing for people and not getting any feedback whatsoever compared to the effort i put on it, and dealing with the stress of having unfinished requests laying around was horrible.
at least, in this blog, i get to write what i want, when i feel like it. i don't feel like i owe anyone anything. and when a post flops, then it flops - it's sad but in the end who cares because i had a blast writing it. and if a post gets 7492849283 notes, then it puts a smile on my face, brightens my day, and i move on with my day with a little pep in my step. in the end, i still get to make fellow writer friends and kind reader friends. and while i still appreciate my followers, all the lovely tags, comments, and kind replies, and although i will occasionally crave for interactions, in the end i'll always remember that i'm doing this for my self-enjoyment.
and i think that's enough for me.
so yeah, if you're here expecting me to write your request, i'd suggest you to go to other blogs (but make sure to read their rules first before requesting!!). there are a lot of talented writers out there that writes for genshin. i'm sure one of them would be more than willing to write the content you want to consume. just please, if they do write your request, go and support them. give them a like and at a minimum a reblog. maybe even add a little comment. unlike me, you owe them that at least, since they wrote it for you.
am i saying that other writing blogs are 'doing it wrong'? definitely not, everyone has their own motivations for writing and running a blog.
does that mean i don't appreciate the reblogs and comments and asks sent to me? no, your validations are still very much appreciated and your comments puts a smile on my face.
am i selfish? yeah, probably.
fingers crossed i managed to convey what i wanted to say properly and didn't offend anyone with this slkdjfslkdjf
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Meg was an awkward addition to the team. And that was saying quite a lot considering who they all were. Homelanders live in pet was what Butcher took to calling her, which was cruel but true. Nabbing her was a bold move but she seemed more than happy to be free.
Once she learned more of what he had done she had no idea how to help. Could she really be leverage against him? He didn't care about her. The others were kind after they found out why Homelander had kept her. Growing fond of her even as they kept her locked in the zinc room. Weird how she was more okay with this prison than the penthouse.
It wasn't until a particularly angry day that Butcher snapped at her. Yelling everything Homelander had taken from her. Her connection to him only enraging him, like going near anything remotely like him was a spark.
But she wasn't anything like him. As much as everyone hated Butcher they knew he was in great pain. She didn't need to be a supe to know that. He slumped in drunk exhaustion now spent of his rage. Leaving him just in silence. Half of her expected him to toss her around a bit or throw things.
What happened to Becca was awful. Just losing someone like that, disappearing like that. It was unbearable to imagine. Slowly coming over to him, he ignored her beyond muttering,
"You try to leave this room I'll snap ya."
Instead her hand went to his shoulder. He tensed immediately with disdain against the soft touch, like it was poison. With pain in her face she shook her head. She was leaning down to reach him from the floor.
"I'm so sorry about what happened to Becca. That's so awful to live with."
He looked up at her and saw the genuine sympathy in her face. A face so soft and kind it couldn't be fake. He felt guilty now about breaking her glasses. Staring at her it was like she glowed. He could understand why Homelander would lock her up like a bird.
She knelt down slowly by him with gentle purpose.
"Do you want a hug?"
He couldn't remember the last time somebody had asked him something so genuine. Most were too disgusted now to ever touch him, he couldn't blame them. Pulling into himself he would never admit to needing sympathy or kindness. But he was too exhausted and drunk to lash back.
"Whatever."
She knew this was his own way of receding. Nodding she came in and gently put her arms around his shoulders. He had no idea why she gave a shit enough to do so. Her warmth was something that made his entire body relax with reluctance. Like letting go was something he could never be allowed to do.
Holding his head she sighed,
"I'm so sorry."
Butcher didn't move. If the others had been around he would have tossed her across the room. But now he was just a man who needed a desperate break. She pulled back after another moment feeling like she couldn't do more. He just stared off avoiding looking at her.
"That's life innit?"
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A list of things I've given up some good some bad
1) hating others it's too much work live your life but don't expect me to care or get riled up.
2)music I'm not good at singing or song writing in fact I'm not the least bit creative I'll just listen and enjoy it thank you
4) trying to explain myself. I don't understand my so neither will you and we'll both survive
5) anything to do with politics. It doesn't matter in my day to day life it only causes fights and inner turmoil amongst everyone and besides nobody is ever right because if there was a right solution we could all agree on we would've found it and it wouldn't be polarizing.
6) video games I suck at them and I feel nauseated when I look at a TV for too long I only started playing so I could interact with my gamer friends more, hell if they want to hang out with me I'll be watching my local barbershop quartets or ice skating or whatever weird ADHD fixation I have that week.
7) biting my nails they bleed it hurts and it doesn't fix my anxiety at all why do I do it idk
8) apologizing for my feelings they are valid even if they don't feel valid.
9) asking others for validation because my voice in my head is chanting that everyone is going to leave me because I'm loud stupid or whatever
10) calling myself loud annoying stupid or whatever
11) keeping quiet about my wins I'm having a good day your having a bad day tough shit I care about you but I'm telling you things to be happy about even if that makes me the annoying glass half full person that needs a dose of reality we all need to hear happy things good news is so rare I'm sharing it when I have it because it's not everyday that I get to be happy but it is every day I get to hear someone complain.
12) using I'm sad as an excuse to eat carbs in excess I'm just using food to self harm and I know it I'm a diabetic it has life long consequences
14) feeling guilty when my social battery is depleted and hanging out with my family so as to not be a jerk.
15) *skipping the number three in posts lists volume ect because it just doesn't feel right. This confuses me because I don't know why I do it what did three do it didn't hurt anyone it's just a number I don't know why I'm just being mean to three.
*#15 is a joke
**three knows what it did
****the volume is always divisible by 5 or 2 it's never three but I ain't repulsed by it I just do it sometimes.
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letsgonipples · 2 years
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if random questions are OK, feel free to ignore if not: if you were to assign a moral alignment for your character (lawful/neutral/chaotic) (good/neutral/evil), what would it be and why?
He asks, as if I don't send random shit his way constantly (jk ily and thank you for being considerate)
Truthfully? I think he's definitely a chaotic good alignment. "A chaotic good character acts as his conscience directs him with little regard for what others expect of him. He makes his own way, but he's kind and benevolent. He believes in goodness and right but has little use for laws and regulations."
Jin is a serial killer, yes, but the only reason he ever actually commits these atrocities is in the name of justice. When a bully has atoned for their actions, he doesn't come in and swing the hammer down again. However, in cases like Kawai, he may have faced some consequences for his actions, but he never actually really atoned for it. Granted, I do think that Jin went to the extreme with Shinya because of his own guilt and that in other circumstances with identical repercussions (such as the public shaming), he would not go after that person.
Also, he has a conscience. When Sawa-sensei dies, it's not that he doesn't care. In fact, he's very clearly struggling with the guilt that this young woman died in the crossfire. As confirmed in the final sequence as he has flashbacks, you can clearly see that Sawa-sensei's face after she's murdered pops up. Keep in mind, her eyes are also open, meaning that, despite knowing full well that RK is doing everything and anything he can to find him, even using Sawa-sensei as bait, he still doubles back to go see, perhaps even try and save, Sawa-Sensei. Keep in mind, this is before Yagami can really get a true sense of who this guy is outside of the initial "who is this bitch and why is he stealing my friends?", so Kuwana's done this of his own volition. No one has to point out that he should feel guilty that a civilian got caught in the middle of his pursuit of vengeance. He's very well aware that this should not have happened.
He knows killing is bad, however, he also knows that without extremist action, things are not going to change to actually protect children in this regard. To him, the end justifies the means. As pointed out in the games, the parents of the victims as well as other characters, such as Higashi and Kaito, all understand where he's coming from. It's even acknowledged that there's a reason no one's reported him yet even though they declined his offer.
He's also more than ready to accept the consequences of his actions. Also depicted in the end of LJ, he could have very easily killed Souma in revenge for him murdering Sawa-sensei, but he acknowledged that in order for truth and justice to prevail, Souma had to be taken in for questioning. The main reason he was ready to die rather than come clean was because of Reiko. His guilt over Mitsuru was a huge guiding factor for him, and protecting her was, in a way, his own way to atone for his neglect. However, he carried on when she came clean, not in that he's necessarily continued killing, but he's created a challenge for the law enforcement. He's the one to have leaked the information of the deceased bullies. This isn't because he's trying to play a game, but rather, he knows that if he can be caught with proper evidence, it means the law is finally capable of protecting the bullied children he's sought out to avenge.
Honestly, I love this question, and I'm gonna keep adding to this because it's amazing and I love Kuwana so much.
(I'll also definitely have to reread/edit/addend this I'm running on 3 hours of sleep again alkjdfa;ldsjfka;sdf)
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