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#they will respond 'we are partners in crime'
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Here's another fic from my AO3! I'll also be posting non-GO writing soon! :)
This one is supposed to be silly and light hearted, if ever it comes off as insensitive, let me know. For the record, I hate the prison system, please know that 🤍
The silliness and playfulness is taken from my own, two and a half years long (so far), relationship. My partner got me into Good Omens, and I will always be grateful to him for that. He's also just the best tbh and I love him so much ❤️❤️❤️
CW for swearing, neck kissing (briefly) and brief NSFW implications (nothing happens nor is implied to happen, just some suggestive flirting).
Bon appetit! 🫶
Crowley and The Mysterious Case of The Disappearing Sunglasses
It was a sunny afternoon, and a certain demon and angel were peacefully gardening together. At least, until something rather weird happened. 
It had started out with a kiss. Aziraphale hadn't joined Crowley for while, instead opting to recline leisurely in a deckchair, sipping wine and reading. He would pause every now and then, to look up and inquire about Crowley's progress with the garden. That aside, they hadn't interacted until Aziraphale had brought his baking, alongside a glass of cooling lemonade, out to him on a tray. That's when Crowley had decided that perhaps, it was time for a well-earned rest. 
Instead of sitting on the chair next to Aziraphale's, he'd decided to sit on his lap. Not that Aziraphale was complaining. Not at all, unless kissing him had counted as complaining, anyway. The thing was, just before he'd kissed him, Aziraphale had removed Crowley's sunglasses, which he'd been wearing not to shield his emotions, but his eyes, from the glaring sun. This was not an uncommon occurrence; Aziraphale frequently removed Crowley's glasses before they kissed, if Crowley didn't do so himself. 
But this time, when they'd broken apart, the glasses had been nowhere in sight. The garden was officially a crime scene-the sunglasses had disappeared under mysterious circumstances.
Aziraphale, former angel, was a key suspect in their sudden and mysterious disappearance. Given that he was of an unusual, unpredictable nature, Crowley had to resort to using a variety of investigation tactics. Tickles, first. This had only succeeded in getting them both breathless and slightly distracted. 
Time for a new tactic: holding his book hostage. 
"Crowley!" Aziraphale had whined. "Give it back, now!" 
Crowley wasn't about to crack under the pressure. "Nah," he'd responded, with a cheeky grin. "Not until you tell me where the hell my sunglasses are! These are my only pair nowadays!" 
Aziraphale had raised an eyebrow at him in response. "Can't you miracle up or buy a new pair?"
"Nuh. Not allowed that many miracles since having retired, and there are no shops around here selling sunglasses.
Aziraphale frowned. "It's a tad odd that they don't sell them around here." 
Crowley stared at him as though he lacked brain cells. Which perhaps, in his own way, he did. "We're in bloody England! What do you expect!? Give me my sunglasses back!"
"Give me my book back!" Aziraphale pouted. 
"Nuh-uh!"
"I swear, Crowley-!"
"You started this!"
Aziraphale took a deep breath. "You give me no other choice," he replied, his face stoic. A sudden rain cloud appeared over Crowley's head, soaking him in seconds. Crowley gasped. 
"You bastard!" he said, throwing the book onto the porch. "Come here, you little shit!"
"Absolutely not!"
That's how they ended up chasing each other around the garden.
Ten minutes later, and they had stopped. Right. Time for yet another interrogation tactic. "Angel," Crowley purred into Aziraphale's ear, "if you give me my sunglasses back, I'm sure we can find another way to...unwind." 
Aziraphale blushed. "I know you, you wily old serpent. You're trying to tempt me to get me to give them back," he said, pausing. "It might work."  
Finally! 
Crowley sat on his lap and started to kiss Aziraphale's neck. "My angel," he murmured. "Look at you, you're gorgeous. So pretty, so good." 
The perpetrator cracked. "Fine," he admitted. His breathing was heavy, yet he didn't even need to breathe. That's how his interrogator could tell he'd got him. "Check your plants." 
Crowley fell off Aziraphale's lap. "What?!" he exclaimed. 
"Check your plants," Aziraphale repeated, smiling now like the deviant, the criminal, that he was. 
"Angel!" Crowley shouted, with no real maliciousness in his voice.
Right there, on his prized sunflower, the tallest one, sat his sunglasses. They must have been miracled on while they were kissing. The worst part of all? He hadn't even noticed. The next investigation, he decided, was going to be a murder investigation.
Aziraphale bolted indoors, Crowley hot on his trail. Oh, he would pay for this...
"No kisses for the rest of the day? Crowley, that is so unfair!"
"That's your sentence. You must serve it."
After a bit of tempting on Aziraphale's part, he was bailed out of his cruel sentence in less than an hour, with a strict warning to not do that ever again. He didn't re-offend, so Crowley decided he was reformed. Good. Couldn't be dealing with all that.
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sanguineterrain · 5 months
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Could we please get a drabble in which Jason and his partner have a fight and the partner walks out of the apartment to cool off and doesn't think the fight was something detrimental but Jason is actually terrified his relationship just ended?
anon?? are we sharing a mental connection?? i literally had this thought a month ago 😳 it fits him so well too :(
jason todd x gn!reader. tw fighting, jason thinks you broke up with him, misunderstandings, happy ending.
****
"You're not being fair."
You scoff, and pinch the bridge of your nose.
"Fair? This is what couples do, Jason! God, I'm not saying we have to go out with other couples every week, but can't we do it at least once in a while? What's wrong with going to one wedding?"
Jason scowls from the kitchen. His arms are crossed, jaw tensed. "Why aren't you happy with just going out together? You're not in a relationship with your friends."
"Because it's good to do new things, and you're someone I want my friends to meet. And I want to meet your friends too!"
"My friends are aliens and Roy. You don't wanna meet them, trust me."
"Yes, I do, Jason. Don't tell me I don't. And I know this relationship is new for both of us, but I don't want it to be that we never go out with people, never meet each others' friends. You don't even have a good reason not to go!" you say.
"I do have a good reason," Jason says. "We don't know them."
"I work with the bride! She's not a criminal—"
"We don't need to go to someone's wedding we don't know," he continues. "Too many variables. Too many things could go wrong."
You shake your head. "That is so ridiculous, Jason. It's not spycraft, it's a wedding!"
"I said no," Jason says sharply, like he's handling a Crime Alley thug.
You take a deep breath.
"Okay." You close your eyes. "This isn't going to work. I need some air."
You grab your wallet and keys and walk out of his apartment. The train station is only a block from where you are; you'll go to the city square, have some lunch, and go back after a few hours. Jason doesn't respond well when he's pushed.
****
It's close to 5pm when you get back to Jason's apartment. He hasn't texted you, but you didn't expect him to; no contact is best for a few hours anyway.
You unlock the door. The apartment is dark.
"Jay?" You put your things down on the side table. "Jason? You here?"
Had he gone on patrol already?
There's a bump in the bedroom, then the door creaks open.
Jason stands in the doorway, clothes rumpled. You turn on a lamp, and he squints. His eyes are red; the skin of his lips are chewed up. He blinks at you, shoulders going to his ears.
"Are you here for your stuff?" he asks quietly.
You frown. "What?"
Jason points tightly to his room. "Your clothes and stuff."
"Why would I get my clothes?"
He takes a deep, shuddery breath, then swallows.
"'Cause we-we broke up," he says, and his eyes become glassy again.
Oh.
"Oh. Oh no, Jay. Jay, baby. No, no."
You walk to him and wrap your arms around his neck. He plants his face in your shoulder, hands going from your hips to your back and down again. He sniffles.
"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. We can go to the wedding."
"Wait, hang on. Jason. Baby, look at me."
Jason picks up his head. His eyes are wide, his breathing is fast.
"Why do you think we broke up, Jay?"
He rubs his eye, pulling the skin so hard it turns red.
"'Cause we fought and... and when I fight with people, that means things are over."
"Things aren't over," you say gently. "We move on. We talk. We forgive."
"Don't deserve it."
"Oh, Jay." You pull him back into your arms. He bends so he can rest his head on your chest. "Sweetie, we're not going to break up over one fight. Certainly not over something like this. We can always talk things out."
He sighs. "I was stupid anyway. We should do normal couple things. You don't deserve my bullshit."
You stroke his hair. He hugs you tighter.
"Jay, being anxious about going someplace new isn't bullshit. And I don't want you to go to the wedding just because you're afraid we'll break up if we don't."
He pulls back to look at you. You're no more than a couple inches from each other.
"I don't want to go to the wedding," he says. "But... maybe we can start with something smaller? Less people? Dinner with another couple?"
"Are you sure?"
He nods. "Yeah, sweetheart. I'm sure. I wanna do that stuff, I just—one day at a time?"
"Yeah, Jay, of course." You kiss him. "Always."
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puckinghischier · 5 days
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Prison For Life
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Luke Hughes x fem!reader
summary: anon request for a luke fic based on olivia rodrigo’s “prison for life”
notes: not gonna lie, y’all, i’m not too happy with how this one turned out, but i got tired of trying to re-write it, so here it is. as usual, hope you enjoy.
[1.7k]
~
I’m a feminist, obviously
But I wouldn’t really mind him saving me
You had always been the type to handle your own problems. A guy that doesn’t know how to take no for an answer? You knew exactly how to bruise his ego enough to have him tuck his tail and run away. Someone getting too handsy while you’re out with your friends? A swift elbow to the gut will do it every time. Grown man yelling at yourself or your friend over virtually nothing? Ask him why he feels the need to yell at women to compensate for the fact his mother didn’t love him as a child. It was too easy, really.
You never hesitated to run to the defense of your friends anytime they needed, getting a rush out of watching men deflate at your comments.
That is, until you met Luke.
Your relationship with Luke caused you to discover you actually enjoyed having someone rush to your defense, for once.
The first time you felt the unmistakable burn in your stomach at the act of Luke rushing to defend your honor was when the Devils were playing against the Flyers in the stadium series. You were in awe of the sight before you, the Metlife stadium alive with the screams and cheers of nearly 83,000 hockey fans. You were down near the ice in a designated viewing area for friends and family of the players, ready to cheer on your boyfriend in one of the biggest games of his career so far.
You were walking over towards the Devil’s bench, wanting to wish Luke good luck before the team returned to the locker room after warm-ups, when you heard someone shout out to you.
“C’mon, sweetheart! You can do better than that! You’d look so much better in Orange!” a man standing near the Flyer’s benches grabs your attention, your head snapping in the direction of the noise.
“Excuse me?” You responded back, disgust showing in your tone and on your face.
“The jersey, sweetie! You know he’s got about a million other puck bunnies fawning over him, right?” He calls back, referencing the Hughes jersey you’re wearing for Luke. “Maybe you should come sit with us! We’ll show you what a real hockey team looks like. And if you’re still not convinced after the game, I can think of a few ways to persuade you!” The heckler continued, elbowing the man next to him in the ribs, winking dramatically at you.
Is this really happening? Is a grown ass man, one who looks old enough to be your father, harassing you right now? Over what team’s jersey you’re wearing? You had to bite back a laugh, the situation simply comical to you.
You had the words ready to go on your tongue, a split second from putting the man in his place, when you heard a different, much more recognizable shout from the ice behind you.
“What did you just say?” Luke shouts as he skates up next to you.
“Luke, I’m fine, really it’s okay-“
“I was just telling the lady here how much better she’d look in orange! Don’t tell me you’re actually thinking about taking her home? Go pick one of the other hundreds of bitches here wearing your number! We picked this one!” the man cuts you off, earning a chuckle from his partner in crime.
You look over to Luke, noticing how his features were darkened and he was nearly shaking with rage. You were surprised with yourself when you found his reaction a turn on. Your face turned warm, your insides lighting on fire at the vein popping out of Luke’s forehead, watching the thoughts form behind his red face.
“Yeah…that’s what I thought you said,” Luke surprised you by speaking calmly. Too shocked by your own thoughts about how much you enjoyed Luke coming to your rescue, you hadn’t noticed that he removed his gloves and was making his way over the wall surrounding the ice until it was a moment too late.
“Hey, woah, slow down there, hot shot.” You grabbed his arm just as both skates hit the ground.
“Y/N, let go of me.”
“No. Look at me,” you requested sternly, tugging at his arm.
Luke looked down and met your eyes, his gaze immediately softening. You had an eyebrow cocked, the look on your face silently asking him what in the hell he was doing.
“Luke, first of all, you’re going to ruin your skates, you don’t even have your guards on. Second, what do you think you’re doing? You can’t go over there and engage with those guys, you could get hurt. You’re getting ready to play a game, you don’t need bruised knuckles or a black eye affecting your skating. Plus, you can’t exactly win a hockey game from jail with assault charges, now can you?” You ask him, hands on your hips, scolding him like a child.
“Y/N, they can’t just get away with saying those things to and about you. Or any woman around here for that matter. Someone needs to go over there and shut their mouths for them.” Luke’s fists clench, jaw so tense you’re worried he’ll break a tooth. “And if I end up in jail, so what? I can post my own bail. It’s worth it, for you,” Luke continued, throwing a glare in the direction of the Flyer’s fans every few seconds.
You stare at him in disbelief. On the one hand, you find it kind of hot he just said he would literally go to jail for you, if it came down to it. The anger radiating through his body a testament to how much he cares for you. On the other hand, you’re appalled at how stupid your boyfriend is. He’s about to play in one of the biggest games of his career, and he’s trying to throw it all away over a couple of sexist men?
“No, not so what. If you would’ve given me five seconds I would’ve handled it on my own, but instead you came over here and got me all hot and bothered because you decided I needed saving.” Luke’s eyebrows shot up at your confession. “Even if you think I’m worth it, they’re not. So you’re going to get your lanky ass back on that ice and beat the shit out of Philadelphia so they’ll shut the fuck up.”
“Hot and bothered, huh?” Luke smirks, ignoring everything else you just said. You rolled your eyes at him. Typical Luke behavior.
“Not the point here,” you chided him. “The point is, no one is going to jail tonight and Philadelphia is going to lose this hockey game. Plus, at the end of the night, I’m going home with you. Not some random ass-hat that’s old enough to be my dad. No matter how much he wants to waste his breath on how I’m a jersey chaser for the wrong team.”
“Damn right you are.” Luke agrees. “And now that I know you like it when I play the macho boyfriend role, I might have to do it more often. I don’t care if you can defend yourself, it’s my job as your boyfriend to run dickheads like that into the ground when they open their mouth at you,” Luke’s tone turns dark once again, causing a jolt of electricity to shoot up your spine.
“Alright, I think it’s best you get back on the ice, now, before you go missing from the starting line-up for another reason other than being in the back of a cop car,” you all but pant.
Even though Luke let’s out a chuckle at your response, you don’t miss the excitement that flashes across his eyes at your words.
“Yes ma’am,” he mock salutes you. “Hold on, something I gotta do first,” he mumbles, hand reaching out to wrap around the back of your neck, pulling your face towards his.
His lips meet yours in a searing kiss. Your mouth parts in shock only slightly, but enough for Luke to slip his tongue inside your mouth, meeting your own. For a split second you forget where you are, savoring the taste of him, but when you hear the whoops and hollers of his teammates behind him, you come back to your senses and pull back from the kiss, resting your forehead on his.
“Alright, easy there, tiger. You’re supposed to be working, you know?” You say, trying to catch your breath, dodging Luke’s lips as they chase yours.
“I don’t really care. Needed my good luck kiss,” he tells you, stealing a small peck from your lips, stepping back and over the short wall, putting himself back on the ice.
You look behind him, seeing Jack and Curtis making kissing faces in your direction, never missing an opportunity to poke fun at Luke.
“Yeah, with an audience, right?” You were referencing Jack and Curtis, nodding your head in the direction of the two man-children behind your boyfriend, but as you look up at his face, his gaze was set on the two instigators of the whole situation.
“Just wanted to show them you’re mine. Not some puck bunny they can harass.” Luke shrugs, looking down at you once again. Your cheeks heat at his words, a smile finding its way on your face as he skates away from the wall, still facing you.
You assume that’s the end of the conversation, turning to walk away, when you hear Luke’s voice shout once more.
“Quit harassing my girlfriend, jackass, or your team won’t be the only thing getting beat tonight!” Luke belts out, throwing up a middle finger behind him as he skates towards his teammates.
You watch the two Flyer’s fans laugh, clearly not very threatened by the rookie hockey player. One of them notices your attention on them, placing a hand in the shape of a phone at his ear, mouthing “call me, babe” at you. You roll your eyes at the both of them, mimicking your boyfriend and flipping them the bird as you walk back to join Luke’s parents before the game starts.
Later on in the evening, you watched the two men’s reactions to the game in front of them. The confidence in their stances lost after Nico scored less than a minute after the match-up started. You continued to watch their reactions throughout the game, the Devil’s absolutely crushing the Flyers.
The two men storm off halfway into the third period, slinging beer cans and throwing their hats on the ground in frustration. You laugh at their distress, wishing you could go back to two hours ago and throw the win in their faces.
And, when the whole ordeal of Luke running to your defense ends up plastered all over social media the next day? Well, let’s just say you and Luke didn’t make it to any celebratory get-togethers his teammates were hosting.
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skzdarlings · 1 year
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the heist team | the threesome series ; skz ; minho/reader/changbin
masterlist.
threesome series part 2/4.
pairing: lee minho/reader/seo changbin content info: sexual content. threesome. friends2lovers. very cheesy criminal heist shenanigans (very "we're in" style hacking and some laser grids lol). "fake" kissing, getting sexy as a distraction, giving sex directions, sexual tension that gets resolved. pussy eating, dick sucking, coming inside. purple haired minho bc meow <3
-
The camper van was the best idea you ever had.  It is much easier to enact dastardly schemes while inconspicuously hiding in plain sight. 
On the outside, the van looks like any civilian camper, but the inside is a veritable den of high-tech con-artistry.   It has a place for Minho to hang the get-ups for his grifting gambits, a compartment for Changbin to store his weapons and down-time dumbbells, and it has the sexiest, sleekest, most mouth-watering computer apparatus that has ever existed.  You love it more than anything in this world. 
Every job, you sit in the midst of your beloved computer screens, directing the operation while your boys do the ground work.  Despite knowing of your undying love for this system, your best friends and partners-in-crime are presently trying to separate you from your baby.
“Is she calling the computer her baby again?”  Minho asks from where he is getting dressed behind a curtain. 
“Yes,” Changbin says.  He is sitting in your computer chair with his arms distractingly crossed, his biceps bulging in his tight black shirt.  He is wearing a lot of lycra, having formerly anticipated he would be doing physical work tonight.
That all changed when you realized the nature of tonight’s job. 
You only ever target the obscenely rich, the kind of wealth that is obtained through its own nature of theft and villainy.  Tonight’s targets are a bunch of pompous elites celebrating themselves.  Upstairs is a gala kicking off a week-long set of dinners, auctions, and celebrations.   Downstairs is millions of dollars worth of art and antiquities, set to go up for auction the following day.  
It looked like a typical job, the kind where Minho could sweet-talk some fools while Changbin punched some security guards and you hacked the vault from the van.  The security system around the haul turned out to be far more advanced.  Operating with a form of artificial intelligence, it essentially learns as it goes, meaning hacking it from the outside is incredibly difficult as it will understand and respond to invasion.  It will be easier to outsmart from the inside, where you can reach your hand into its virtual heart and pluck its digital ventricles one by one. 
The boys do not have that kind of computer knowledge.  So now Changbin is in your chair, Minho is doing his make-up, and you are waving around an emergency cocktail dress. 
“Who’s gonna watch my baby if I’m in there!”  
“Yah! Rude woman!  You remember who helped you build this thing?” Changbin pats one of the computer towers to make his point.  “I can do the basic work in here, but I can’t do your complicated nerd things.” 
“I’m not a nerd!”  You definitely are.  You stare at the cocktail dress morosely.  “You’re forgetting something super important. That I am a total weirdo and I panic whenever someone looks at me! There’s a reason I don’t do the people side of things!  That’s what you guys are good at!”
“Technically I just hit them,” Changbin says. 
“You are plenty charming when you want to be and you know it,” you say. 
Changbin folds his hands behind his head, flexing all his muscles while grinning. 
“How charming?” he teases, cocky.  “Describe it to me.” 
“Shut up.”  You hit him with the cocktail dress to hide the fact he got you genuinely flustered.  “I can’t go in there.  People will know I don’t belong the second I walk in the room.  We won’t even get close enough to the computer bank for me to disarm it because they’ll get one look at me and throw me out the window.” 
“That won’t happen,” Minho says.   His changing area is behind you and you hear the metallic slide of the curtain opening.  “Because you won’t be going in there alone.”  
You don’t even have to turn around to know Minho looks devastatingly gorgeous; it is written all over Changbin’s shocked face.  His arms lower from behind his head and his cocksure expression shifts, his lips parting as he stares past you.  
Despite having the benefit of bracing yourself, you are still struck dumb when you turn and look at Minho.  It was always in the plan that Minho would serve as a distraction at the gala.  To stand out accordingly, he dyed his hair with temporary dye this morning.  The vibrant purple was more amusing than sexy when his hair was messy, but now it is neatly styled back, slick and off his handsome face.  He is dressed all in white, his asymmetrical suit partially slit at the side to show some skin.  There is an extra sparkle from his jewelry, plus the lightest dab of glitter in the sharper contours of his face.  He is practically glowing. 
He knows he looks good.  His mouth quirks in a little smirk at your expressions.  You and Changbin are both gawping at him, and it goes on long enough that his eyebrows lift and his smirk puckers with a surprised laugh. 
“What? Really?” he asks, still laughing at you. 
Changbin does an unexpected sign of the cross.  You hit him with the cocktail dress again. 
“Fine,” you say, mostly to have an excuse to duck behind the curtain because you think you might explode from lust and embarrassment and anxiety all at once.  “At least no one will be looking at me.” 
You step behind the curtain and snap it closed, leaving the boys to their banter. 
You like dressing up so this part is no problem.  The problem with parties is other people.  You wholeheartedly admit you are better with zeroes and ones than human beings.   
You try to focus on the fun elements of tonight: the dress, the glamour, and beating a high-tech security system at its own game.  It will be so fun to have a real challenge for once.  You know you can beat it but it will definitely push you more than your usual digital adversaries.
Also, you get to look at Minho looking like that.  Your view of the boys is usually through security cameras, nestled in your van surrounded by your operating system, so the proximity will be a treat. 
You open the curtain, scowling.  You do not enjoy socializing so you seldom have occasion to dress up, so you anticipate the boys will lovingly berate you.  But when you step forward, Changbin looks at you with the same dumbfounded expression he had for Minho.  Minho is sitting on the bench, knees apart and arm slung across the backrest.  His expression gets very serious when he looks at you.  He shimmies his hips, his knees parting further. 
“Turn around,” he says.  
The van feels so tense and quiet that you obey, more confused than anything else. 
Changbin’s gaze drops to your ass immediately, his jaw visibly clenching.  Minho tips his head like he is studying something. 
“Thank you,” Minho says. 
You face them again, hot in the face.  You cross your arms angrily. 
“What was the point of that?” you demand.
Minho lifts a single eyebrow.  “I wanted to see your ass,” he says, like it should be obvious.  “It’s a good one.  You should be proud.” 
You throw your sweatpants at his stupid smirk.  He catches it smoothly. 
“Can we just go already?”  You punctuate this with a stomp of your foot then storm out of your precious van. 
It is very strange being on this side of the operation.  You always have Minho and Changbin nattering in your earpiece, but usually you are sitting at your desk wearing proper headphones.  It is strange wandering around with a tiny bud in your ear, listening to Changbin report from your usual seat. 
You already have control of the hotel security cameras as they work on a separate operating system to the storeroom AI.  You replaced the live feed with a looping reel of empty rooms so the security team inside will not see you moving around.  It also gives Changbin a bird’s eye view of the gala and the rest of the hotel.  You feel anxious at not seeing it for yourself, but you are placated when Changbin whistles and teases, “You two are the best looking there.  You would be second best looking if I was there, so you’re lucky I’m not.” 
You and Minho both smile, your expressions fond.  
Minho gets you in the door with little more than a wink at the doorman.  You stay quiet, hiding your nerves as best you can.  Minho is a competent con-man and Changbin is plenty reliable so you try to focus on your own tasks.  First you need to get to the ground floor network base so you can get the AI to chase your red herring.  Once you are in, the AI will start responding, but with your virus acting as a decoy source within the building, you should be able to buy yourselves time to move onto the next phase of breaking down the system. 
“There’s a lot of muscle at this party,” Changbin says seriously, no doubt taking stock of all the burly security guards.  It is only natural Changbin would be as twitchy as you, also out of his element for the night.  “I don’t like not being there with you,” he says.  
“Easy,” Minho says in a calm voice.  You think it is directed at both you and Changbin.  He puts a hand on your lower back and gives you a knowing look.  “You’re doing fine,” he says.
You feel like terror is written all over your face.  It doesn’t help that Minho draws eyes the second you step into the hotel ballroom, men and women looking at him with the usual desire he draws.  They are equally curious to look at you, their eyes on where his hand rests intimately low on your spine. 
“I’m gonna hurl,” you say.
“Not a bad idea,” he says.  He smiles with so much effortless charm that no one would suspect he is whispering criminal tips.  “The best con,” he says, his lips brushing your ear, “is one that is close to the truth.”  You shiver as his fingertips brush up your spine.  He rests his hand on your nape.  “Look sick,” he says.  “We’ll say we’re looking for a restroom if someone asks.” 
You follow his lead, weaving your way through the party.  Looking sick is the easiest instruction to follow because you feel genuinely ill, your anxiety a toxic twist in your gut.  
Only when you are wandering the empty hotel corridor do you feel at ease.  You feel even more at ease when you find the ground floor network hub.  Your first obstacle is a regular alarm code, twelve digits in length.  It is obviously too long to guess so you physically unscrew the alarm box and start some manual fiddling.  There is no way to fully disarm it without also setting it off, but that’s where your own AI gadget comes into play.  You plug in your cypher scrambler and let it do its thing.  It flickers through numbers, seeking the correct pattern, learning from its errors.  You designed it yourself and though it is always accurate, it takes a while to pull the numbers.  You and Minho are forced to hover in the hallway while it gradually reveals each piece of the code. 
You are up to number seven out of twelve when Changbin inhales sharply. 
“There’s a waiter walking in your direction,” he says.  “It looks like he’s taking a shortcut to somewhere else, but you have less than two minutes until he’s on you.”
 “What!”  You start to panic immediately.  “My decipher machine could take longer than that, what do we—”
“Relax, relax!”  Changbin says at the same time Minho steps behind you and grasps your shoulders.  He makes little shushing noises while massaging you, not that it does much to help. 
“We’re good,” Minho says.  “It’s just a waiter, not security.” 
“I’m gonna get us killed,” you say. 
“By a waiter?”  Minho asks.  He gives your shoulders another squeeze.  “Is he going to beat us with a baguette?  Hey, hey, relax.”
You are a vibrating bundle of nerves.  Minho is not usually the type to dive into a hug but he turns you around and pulls you into his arms.  You wrap your arms around his middle and hug him back, hiding your face in his neck. 
“Yeah, that will work,” Changbin says. 
“Huh?” you say, lifting your head. 
Minho is staring into a security camera as if having a mute exchange with Changbin.  He nods in agreement, though you still don’t understand. 
“What will work?” you ask. 
“Distraction,” Minho says.  You just look at him with confusion. 
“Baby,” Changbin says in a soft tone, “listen to my voice.”
The sudden gentleness of his voice makes you shiver.  Your fingers are shaking when Minho takes your hand and rests it over his heart.  You look up into his dark eyes as he smiles at you with familiar fondness.  You open your mouth to speak but he shakes his head, shushing you gently.  His eyes drift to the side in anticipation of an intruder. 
“Baby,” Changbin says, his honeyed tone softening your nerves, “Minho is going to kiss you.  Just do what I say, okay?” 
Your heart skips a beat, your eyes widening.
“You trust us?”  Changbin asks. 
You nod, answering Changbin, gazing at Minho. 
It’s the truth.  You might be scared but you have been scared before and your boys always come through.  Even when the rest of the world left you behind, when you turned to crime to keep yourself alive, Minho and Changbin were there.  They have never let you down.  You trust them with anything and everything. 
Minho slips his hand around your waist, pulling you close to him.  You have been close before, sharing the van, sharing hotel rooms, but this feels different.  He looks at you with intent, his handsome face so close, a strand of dark purple hair curled over his forehead.  Your hand finds that patch of bare skin when you touch his side.  He is familiar and foreign at once, your Minho, and also a character, one who clasps his hand behind your back and ducks down to gently kiss your lips. 
“Take a breath, baby,” Changbin says with a little chuckle.  “You look like you’re going to pass out.” 
“Mmf,” is the noise you make, affirming that observation.   It makes Minho laugh, a breath against your lips. 
“Waiter is thirty seconds away.  You just want to look like a dumb, horny couple that wandered away from the party,” Changbin says.  “Listen to me, I’ll tell you what do.”
You nod, sucking in a breath when Minho kisses you again.  This time his mouth is a little more insistent, his lips coaxing yours open. 
“Close your eyes, baby,” Changbin says.  “Let your shoulders drop.  Minho has you, it’s okay.” 
You didn’t even realize how tense your shoulders were.  You listen to Changbin, letting yourself go lax.  Minho holds you, as promised, his arms sturdy around your waist as he kisses you deeply. 
“Let Minho move you,” Changbin says. “He’s going to lean you against the wall to hide the device, okay?  Put your hands on his shoulders.  Higher, baby, go around his neck.  Just like that.  Let him lead you.” 
Minho walks you backwards, carefully pressing you against the wall, hiding the dangling cypher scrambler with your bodies. 
“We wanna give our intruder a little jump scare, okay?”  Changbin says.  “Minho.”  
That is all the direction he gives Minho, trusting the adept con-man to know exactly what to do.  Minho does, his hands sliding down to your hips to pull them flush against his.  It arches your back.  Your hands are hooked behind his neck and you squeak, your fingers instinctively sinking into his hair. 
“God,” Changbin says.  The sudden dark colour to his voice sends a spark of heat shooting through you.  It clearly surprises Minho too, his lips parting with a caught breath.  “You both look hot.  Fuck.” 
Changbin takes a steadying breath.  You and Minho look at each other.  You get to see his smirk for a split second, then his mouth is on yours and it is no longer gentle and questioning.  It is a demand, hot and wanting, your lips opening with his guidance, your heart skipping beats when he licks in your mouth. 
“Do it back,” Changbin says.  “You want him to fuck you, baby.  Make him believe it.”
You think the him is question is the waiter.  Isn’t it?  You don’t even know where the waiter is anymore, if he’s around the corner or watching.  In the haziness of your kiss, it hardly seems to matter.  You kiss Minho back with the same urgency, pulling him closer, whimpering when he bites your bottom lip. 
“Fuck,” is the gentle whisper that Minho can’t fight.  His brow is crinkled, his eyes closed.  He kisses you again, his hands jumping up to gather yours.  He laces his fingers with yours and presses your hands into the wall on either side of your head. 
“Wrap your leg around his waist,” Changbin says.  “Like that, that’s it, you’re okay.” 
You lift one leg, shaky and unsure.  Minho catches you under the knee and pulls it more certainly around him.  He holds you there, his other hand grasping your throat very gently as he kisses and kisses and kisses you.  Your hands are still splayed open by your head, thoughtlessly awaiting direction.  Your fingers curl into your palm and you moan for real when Minho presses against you. 
Minho is a good actor, but the hard shape in his pants is very real.  When he grinds against you, so open and soft with your leg around his waist, it draws all those guttural sounds right out of you.  Minho makes one back, swivelling his hips in a maddening grind against you.  It is all too easy to imagine him fucking you like this, the effortless back-and-forth of his hips, your sweet sighs as he takes you, imagining Changbin there, his breath also stuttering. 
You do not forget he is watching all this, especially when he lets another low laugh and asks, “She feel good?”
“Yes,” Minho answers without hesitation, breathing the word against your lips. 
“Hold his face, baby,” Changbin says.  “Kiss him like you mean it.  Ask him to fuck you with it.”
You know what he means by that: to kiss Minho with fervency and heat.  You do obey, cupping his face with both hands and kissing him deeply, but the fuzziness of desire mixed with Changbin’s words makes your brain go screwy with want.  Not only does your kiss convey that desire, but words rush past your mouth, crashing into Minho’s lips in a breathless flurry.
“Fuck me, fuck me, please,” you say, your voice pitching up into a little whine as you rock against him.  “Want you to fuck me so bad, baby,” you say, thinking of both of them at the same.   You kiss Minho’s surprised, open mouth, your eyes closed, your voice loud in this hazy space as you say, “I’ve been thinking about it all night.  Need it so bad.  Please.  Want you inside me.  Want my mouth on you.  Come in me.  Come on me.  Take me, please.  I’m so hot and wet, it’ll feel so good, don’t you want to feel how wet I am?  Don’t you want to fuck me too?”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Changbin says, followed by a rush of even more inventive curses.
Minho settles on another simple, surprised, “Fuck.” 
Then someone is clearing their throat.  Minho jumps, his hands clamping tighter around you, protective. 
“Oh, right, this clown,” Changbin says.  “I hate that he’s too far away too punch.” 
You giggle in spite of yourself, which is good because you think you might simultaneously die of embarrassment.  You drop your leg and Minho lets you go, pulling himself together faster than you. 
You let him do his thing, sliding a hand through his hair and smirking at the waiter as he saunters over.  He makes his little speech, something-something-something a moment alone with the missus, something-something sorry-sorry-sorry.   He walks the waiter back around the corner, giving you a knowing glance over his shoulder. 
Thank god your cypher scrambler has its act together, even if you are a mess.  It takes you longer to right yourself than it does for the scrambler to finish its job.  Your hands are shaking as you break into the hub, but muscle memory takes over when you have your mini-laptop open. 
Minho joins you a minute later.  Your entire body lights up like a firework when he steps close to you.  Nothing in his expression conveys anything more than professionalism – his queries are about the job and the job alone – but there is an ache between your thighs that won’t subside.  You know he feels the same way as you can see he is still hard despite how much he glares at the wall.  He adjusts his pants several times while standing in that closet of a hub with you.  You keep glancing at each other, your gazes heady, speaking volumes more than your polite conversation.   
When you leave and he puts his hand on your lower back, you shiver.  You think you might double over from the persistent thumping of your easily-distracted pussy. 
Changbin lets out a long sigh and a nervous giggle.  “Good work, team,” he says. 
You have worked enough jobs that you manage to set aside your personal feelings for the time being.  It is easy to lose yourself in your work, especially when you really have to fight the security system.  
You get inside the storeroom.  You know it is filled with more traps and alarms so you sit down beside the door and type away on your laptop.  You nearly break a sweat with the intensity of your work. 
“She’s hot when she’s doing her thing,” Changbin suddenly says. 
You lift your head and catch Minho’s eye.  He smiles at you.  “I agree,” he says. 
Your heart starts skipping beats again.  You look down at your laptop, feeling uncharacteristically shy under his gaze. 
“Don’t distract me,” you say, making both of them laugh a little.  You glare at Minho but there is no real animosity behind it. 
At least they both acquiesce, going silent while you work.  You manage to disarm most of the storeroom.  The best you can do for the remainder of traps is trigger their subsequent lighting rigs so you can see them all.  A labyrinth of blue light brightens the dark entry room, revealing each laser trigger that blocks your path to the locked compartments. 
You look up at Minho whose calculating gaze is already tracing each intricate beam. 
“Got it?”  Changbin asks.
Minho starts unbuttoning his suit.  “Always,” he says, smirking. 
Minho flips the blazer down his arms, revealing just a tight white crop top beneath it.  His jacket, shoes, and jewelry form a pile beside you.   Minho does a few quick stretches before confidently approaching the laser grid. 
Before his criminal life, Minho was a dancer, and a good one.   He draws the same graceful lines with his body now, making each manoeuvre look easy even though you know it is incredibly difficult. 
“He’s hot when he’s doing his thing,” Changbin says.
“Yeah,” you say, biting your lip and watching Minho move.  “Gotta agree.” 
Minho slips over and under each laser, twisting and bending and sliding with ease.  He pops up on the other side with a graceful twirl, throwing you a wink over his shoulder before flipping a switch on the control panel.  It powers down the censors so you can scurry across the room to join him. 
The compartment door unlocks with your final hacked access code, the door swinging open to reveal your loot.  Changbin gives a successful holler into your earpiece, making you and Minho duck with his volume. 
“I’ll bring the car around, baby,” Changbin says while you two roll your eyes but smile. 
You pack your fold out bags with your selections.  One key to success is never being overly greedy.  You walk away with a substantial victory nonetheless.    
You hurry out of the storeroom with your prize haul.  Minho gets dressed again, though he doesn’t button up his jacket.  He takes a second to catch his breath while you restore each alarm so nothing appears out of place.   When you are ready to go, he takes your hand, smiling.  You run hand-in-hand back down the corridor, making a few sharp turns until you find a staff exit.  There is a small drop so Minho jumps down first then holds out his arms for you.  Though you could make the jump easily, you still let yourself fall into his arms.  
He holds you close as he puts you on your feet.  You are riding the high of adrenaline and success, your heart soaring, which might be why you so easily surrender to desire.   You kiss him, sudden and brief but tantalizing.  He blinks back at you with surprise, his face scrunching with that astonished little laugh of his.   
You smile at him.  A line of sweat dots his hairline and you reach up, smoothing some messy strands of purple hair.  The gentle caress changes the whole shape of his face, his eyes heavy-lidded, his breathing harder.  You feel yourself change too, your heart pounding against his chest when he pulls you close. 
You got greedy with that kiss and greediness has consequences.  You are so distracted with each other that you don’t notice the security guards coming at you from the opposite direction. 
“Hey!” one shouts.  “What are you doing out here?” 
You and Minho look over, then at each other.  There is no time for conversation.  You grab each other’s hands and start running, your bags of stolen goods bouncing on your shoulders. 
“Hey!” the security guard shouts again.  You can hear their heavy footsteps thundering after you, fast despite their muscle and bulk. 
You turn the corner onto a backstreet just in time for the camper van to swing into view.  The door slides open and Changbin jumps out.  You pass each other, dropping hands so Changbin can dart between you.  
Panting, you and Minho watch as Changbin effortlessly takes down the guards. 
“He’s hot when he’s doing his thing,” you say, giggling.
Minho laughs, nodding.  “I agree,” he says. 
Minho takes the steering wheel so you can apologize to your baby for abandoning her.  Changbin jumps back in the van and the three of you drive away with another successful haul. 
Later, back at the penthouse, Minho takes the longest shower in an effort to scrub the purple out of his hair.  You are in your bedroom when he finally emerges.  You can hear him and Changbin talking in the living room.  By the sounds of it, the purple is still threaded in his dark brown hair, likely to last a few more days.  You smile to yourself, listening to their playful back-and-forth as Changbin teases him and Minho snarkily retaliates. 
It is tradition after a successful job to have a few drinks and relax.  Contacting your fence and taking care of business can wait until tomorrow. 
You can hear the usual music playing through the speakers, can hear the clink of bottles and glasses, can hear Changbin and Minho laughing and talking. 
You look at your reflection in the mirror.  Though you seldom have occasion to wear pretty luxuries, you have enough money at your disposal to treat yourself.   You have been changing in and out of different lingerie sets since you got home.  You think this one might be just right: a silky black set worn under a lacy black dress that falls to your thighs.  It is suggestive but arguably casual.  You could just be wearing it as pyjamas, right?  Sure.  Sure.  Totally normal pyjamas for a totally normal night.
The best con is one that is close to the truth, Minho had said.  Then he stuck his tongue in your mouth and you begged him to fuck you with Changbin’s help.  Even you, who is terrible at reading and understanding people, know what truth was in that charade. 
You take a deep breath and march to your bedroom door with determination.  You throw it open so hard that it smashes into the wall, startling the boys in the other room.  You ignore the crash and scurry into sight, avoiding eye contact.
“Hello,” you say.
There is a moment of prolonged silence then Changbin says, “Hi.”
You look up.  They are both staring at you, both wide-eyed, both in sweatpants and t-shirts with their hair undone and fluffy.  They look very casual and very surprised.  Minho is clutching a beer bottle and Changbin is holding a bowl of popcorn.  Both of them are frozen.
You smile a very awkward smile.
“Hello,” you say again.  “I am… I am… dressed.  For bed.  My bed.  For being in my bed, like this, as I am dressed right now.  I am going to that bed, now, like this.  You can… join me.  If you want.  If you don’t want, then, okay.  Hello.  And.  Goodbye.  Bye.” 
You run back to your bedroom and slam the door closed. 
Other than the soft music still swirling in the air, the penthouse is quiet.  You cannot hear the boys, not a comment, not a sound, not a breath.
Then you hear the popcorn bowl hit the ground and a bottle smash.  They shove and yell at each other as they stumble on the way to your bedroom.  You are standing awkwardly in the middle of your room, hands folded in front of you, waiting as they crash into your bedroom door and curse at each other. 
Changbin then very casually opens the door and they calmly walk inside. 
“Hello,” you say. 
“Hi,” Changbin replies. 
You wish thoughts could be hacked like a computer.  You cannot think of what to say or do next.  You just stare at them and they stare back, although their gazes are considerably less nervous.  Their stares are thirsty, drinking you in, looking from top to bottom and back again. 
“Turn around,” Minho says, his gaze low. 
You meet Changbin’s eye before obliging, slowly turning.
“Okay,” Minho says after a long moment, giving your heart plenty of time to go crazy in your chest.  “Thank you.” 
You turn back around, just as embarrassed as earlier but not angry at all.  You cross your arms over your chest, flicking your gaze between them. 
Minho reaches out and lightly punches Changbin on the arm.  Changbin looks at him and Minho gives him a look, one you cannot decipher.  You continue to stare at them. 
Changbin nods at Minho then looks at you.  He holds out his hand. 
“Breathe, baby,” he says.  “You look like you’re gonna pass out.”
You laugh but nod, taking his hand.  He wastes no time pulling you close, guiding your hand to his heart as Minho did earlier.  He holds your hand there and waits until you make eye contact so he can wink at you. 
“I know I am the best looking man you have ever seen in your life,” he says, making you laugh again, “but I’m me.  You trust us?”
You look at him then at Minho.  His dark hair is still tinted purple, his bare face open and soft as he meets your eye.  You smile and look back at Changbin, nodding. 
“Always,” you say. 
“Good,” Changbin says. 
He cups your face and you lean towards him, anticipating a kiss, but he gently turns your face aside.  You don’t even have time to be confused before Minho is kissing you.  He swiftly draws all those sweet sounds out of you, pulling you towards him.  Changbin steps behind you, holding your hips and kissing his way up your neck to your ear. 
“Baby,” Changbin says while Minho slows his kiss to something gentle but heated, his tongue swiping at yours.  “Listen to my voice, okay?” 
You nod, light-headed but eager. 
“Good,” Changbin says.  “Come sit in my lap.  Over here.” 
Changbin is strong enough to haul you around.  You barely have to move, letting yourself go soft in his arms.  He sits on the edge of the bed and puts you in his lap, spreading your legs over his thighs.   You stare up at Minho, out of breath, your thighs twitching to close for pressure.  Changbin slides a hand down, stroking your inner thigh and making you jump, his other hand tugging down your dress and immediately going for your breast. 
Minho sweeps a hand through his hair, taking a breath before stepping up to you. 
“Still want your mouth on him, baby?”  Changbin asks, reminding you of all the things you whispered in that heated moment.  
You nod, whimpering when Changbin slides his hands into your panties and touches you directly.  He circles and circles the most sensitive cluster of nerves, grunting and pressing his lips to your neck. 
“She’s so fucking wet,” Changbin says.  He slips his hand out of your panties and abruptly grabs Minho by the hand, tugging him closer.   Minho brings that hand to his mouth, licking your wetness off Changbin’s fingertips.  “Touch him baby,” Changbin says.  “You see how hard he is for you?”
You can see.  You can feel Changbin too, hard under you.  Their sweatpants do little to disguise it. 
You do not hesitate obeying, tugging on the waistband of Minho’s sweats.  Everything feels so dreamy and good, surrounded by touch.  It all seems to happen quickly; suddenly Changbin’s hand is in your panties, Minho’s dick is in your mouth, and Minho’s hands are tugging the straps of your dress down.   This ends with you drooling messily all over the end of his dick, sucking on the head and murmuring nonsense while Changbin makes you come on his fingers.  Then Minho kneels in front of you both, your legs end up over his shoulders, and you find yourself hurtling towards another orgasm on his mouth. 
You dress ends up somewhere, the panties too.  The bra is barely on, the straps hanging down your arms.  Changbin finally kisses you when you are on your back in the middle of the bed.  He lays between your open legs, his fingers filling you up as you continue to gush all over his hand.  You grab him, squeezing his biceps as he effortlessly moves that strong hand between your legs.  Minho climbs up too, his shirt somewhere across the room.  He grabs your hands and pulls them over your head, pinning them into the pillows before ducking down to kiss you.   You come for a third time before either of them even fucks you. 
Then they do.  Minho first, with you under him, listening to every direction Changbin murmurs in your ear.  You lift your legs around his waist when Changbin says, then touch yourself when Changbin asks, and shudder when Minho comes inside you like you earlier begged. 
Then Minho is behind you, holding you, touching you, protective and familiar while Changbin fucks you.  Changbin has a surprisingly filthy mouth, continuing to tell you how good you feel and how good you look.  Minho is quiet but fully entranced by you, his hands constantly wandering.  He slides one hand down and rubs you off while Changbin fucks you.  Then he leans over your shoulder and kisses Changbin on the mouth, making Changbin finish too.  
The music is still playing in the next room.   The three of you lay there in various states of undress, you in the middle, sweaty and messy, the boys panting and gently stroking your arms and thighs. 
“I love you guys,” you say.  It is incredibly cliché to make a love confession after several mind-blowing orgasms, but you don’t care.   You don’t need to play games or tell lies or be good at socializing, not with your boys.   You can just be your nerdy self, confessing your feelings even while drifting into sleep. 
You smile when you feel Minho kissing your cheek, Changbin giggling on your other side. 
“It will have to be big,” Changbin says.  “The biggest.”
“Hmm?” you ask, looking at him strangely. 
“The diamond we steal to put on your finger,” Changbin says, holding up your hand and circling your ring finger.  You laugh and try to pull your hand back but Minho catches it, nodding in accord. 
“I agree,” Minho says.  He kisses your temple.  “I know how criminals work,” he adds.  “You’re not getting stolen away from us.” 
He and Changbin exchange an affectionate glance over you, nodding at each other, then they are each kissing a side of your face as you squirm and laugh.  You swipe at Minho’s purple hair and kiss Changbin’s cheek, then nestle into their arms as they wrap around you, protective as always. 
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ms-demeanor · 7 months
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i really liked OJST in the mid-2010s but i didn’t stop reading cause of the cuck comic - wasn’t there also a comic erika moen wrote about (functionally) harassing lesbians with her now-husband?
In the mid 2010s closet-keys criticized one of Erika Moen's early diary comics and described Erika Moen as "Reassuring a cishet partner that it’s totally okay to use hate speech towards wlw at Pride" and condoning the harassment and fetishization of lesbians because of a 2007 comic that she had made as part of a webcomic she had written about gender and her interactions with her queerness.
The hate speech in question is the partner asking "are you sure you want to hold my hand with all these dykes around?" while they are pretty clearly at a Dyke Day event during pride, and the reassurance that 'it's totally okay to use hate speech toward wlw' is Erika responding "sweetie, I'm proud to be with you."
The comic is still up with a disclaimer that it was written at a different time, and I know that's probably not going to fly with a lot of people but if you were a bi woman in the early to mid 2000s it was pretty common to use statements like "lol yeah i'm into women my boyfriend is fine with it as long as I take pictures" to diffuse the biphobia from straight people AND to say shit like "I'm not a party bi, I actually love pussy, thanks" to diffuse the biphobia from queer people. (if you were a bi guy in the early to mid 2000s i'm sorry and I'm sorry now because we got LUG but that mostly went away and you *still* have to deal with the "gay in waiting" bullshit).
That comic ends with Erika and her partner looking at a woman and saying "I'd totally do her" while the woman thinks "pigs" and if you think that means that they literally sat on the street and vocally commented about lesbians passing by them or that they condone harassing lesbians (in, I cannot stress this enough, a diary comic written by someone in their early twenties who is realizing they are occasionally interested in some men some of the time after identifying as a lesbian their whole life), then I'm gonna go ahead and recommend signing up for some variety or other of literary analysis class. Do we think that Erika is seriously implying that she is going to make her boyfriend gay if she fucks him in this comic from a year later?
If this comic bothers you and you see it as a straight-passing couple giving the go-ahead to harass lesbians, you do you, I'm not saying you have to read the comic or enjoy Erika Moen.
I am saying it's a bit of a stretch, though, and certainly the least charitable explanation possible, and that we should probably give people some space to say awkward things about their sexuality and to make missteps when discussing it in their early twenties and not call them lesbophobic fifteen years after the fact for a college comic.
Moen also gets called transphobic because she has described trans men as adorable/cute in a way that could be read as patronizing in one comic and because she made a comic about wearing a packer for fun and for sexual gratification with her cis male partner as a cis woman.
Appropriately, all of these things feel very "late twenty teens tumblr callout post."
If it bugs you, you don't have to read the comics but I've talked about Moen before and I've gotten the anons in my inbox calling me lesbophobic for recommending her comic when in 2007 she made a comic about catcalling lesbians and condoning street harassment.
Which is frustrating because Erika Moen writes a comic about sex toys that has incredible body and gender diversity and is interested in making sure that people of all sexualities are having safe, enjoyable sex and talking openly about it. This is Rebecca Sugar condones war crimes level discourse over a creator who makes a genuinely good comic and gets dismissed as cringe by people who hate open discussions of sex and gets dismissed as a bigot (in ways that I think are incredibly unfair given the vast majority of her work) among people who *claim* to love open discussions of sex but who *actually* love witch hunts.
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Another ^^
Clarisse x Fem Child of Aphrodite reader who is basically a copy of Clarisse but doesn't really like fighting. The Regina George of the camp (but calmer lol) She and Clarisse are partners in crime who are dating.
But she's like really really soft with clarisse, can't even bring herself to say no to her most of the time. Seeing her through rose tinted glasses
- Marshmellow :]
A/n: hii I loved this request sorry it took so long for me to do
Clarisse la rue x fem!reader
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you and Clarisse were two of the most dangerous people to mess with in the camp like two partners in crime your mother gifted you rose-tinted glasses and you always thought your eye color was very ugly you had violet eyes.
you two were sitting on top of your bunk bed you had the top bunk bed decorated with a red rose color your mother's favorite color.
"y/n?." Clarisse said softly speaking to you moving her beautiful curly hair to the side.
"yeah?" you said softly smiling at her the ray of light coming into your cabin a shining in your face was like Cupid shot an arrow at Clarisse's heart.
"Why do you always wear those glasses?" she responded curiously
you sighed you really didn't know if she'd still like you if you told her the truth but her beautiful yet deadly look in her "Well, my mom gave these to me.." that wasn't fully true but then she put her hand on top of yours you felt like you could melt it was comforting knowing that she cared about you.
"look y/n I'm not going to judge you or look at you any way different," she said with such kindness in her heart you could feel it.
"what if I just showed you my eyes?" you said feeling some sort of confidence she looked at you smiling a just nodded "Okay, here" You slowly took off your glasses.
Clarisse just gasped a stroked your face near your eyes "Your eyes, must be a gift from the gods they are so beautiful, why do you keep them hidden away if there that pretty...?" she said so confused staring into your eyes her gaze is as soft a sweet like cotton candy.
"I never thought anyone would find me beautiful with eyes like this, well until I met you...?" your heart was filled with Clarisse's beautiful words.
"Don't worry, sweetheart whoever speaks like that to you I will make them pay" you giggled as she kissed your forehead "It's actually 'we' "
you said smiling as you held her hand softly
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maaarine · 5 months
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The sexual assault of sleeping women: the hidden, horrifying rape crisis in our bedrooms (Anna Moore, The Guardian, June 15 2021)
"Naming specific acts, rather than using broad – and loaded – terms such as “abuse” or “rape”, her survey asked more than 22,000 women if, for example, they had ever been spat at, or strangled, kicked or bitten.
It also asked respondents if they had ever woken to their male partner having sex with them or performing sex acts on them while they slept.
To this question, 51% answered yes.
This was not randomised sampling – the survey was widely shared online and participants were self-selected. For this reason, it’s hard to extrapolate from the findings.
The results sparked a predictably polarised online response. “This was extremely validating for me after years of thinking, ‘Am I being raped?’ I’m not alone”, tweeted one woman.
“It’s why I now jerk awake if someone even gently brushes against me while I’m sleeping, 13 years later,” wrote another.
Other comments included, “Only chance I get!” and “the other half was OK with it!”
Katie Russell, spokesperson for Rape Crisis, says she was “not massively surprised” by the findings.
“There isn’t a lot of research into the multiple ways women experience violence from known men, but we do know the numbers are so much higher than any official statistics,” she says.
“Rape myths are still incredibly pervasive. It’s commonly believed that if it’s your boyfriend or your spouse, if you’re sharing a bed, if you’re naked, if you consented earlier, then it can’t be rape.
There is a really big difference between gently waking your partner and initiating sexual activity and actually doing something sexual or penetrating someone while they’re still asleep. (…)
In Martha’s case, the rape happened once, but for some men, seeking sex with a sleeping woman is an active preference, a fetish known as somnophilia.
Svein Overland, a Norwegian psychologist, is one of the few to have studied it – his interest sparked partly by his work in prisons, trying to understand the motivations of sex offenders, and also by his work with victims of what Norwegians call “after-party rapes” – attacks on vulnerable women who were either sleeping or drugged.
Overland believes somnophilia is part of the wider growth of what he calls “one-way sex”.
His research into online porn showed a steep rise over the past decade in categories such as “sleeping sex”, as well as other forms of sex that are based on unresponsiveness, on only meeting your own needs.
(“Flexi dolls” is another example – where women pretend to be sex dolls.)
These preferences overlap with porn itself, says Overland. “With one-way sex, with porn, with masturbation, there’s no dance, no seduction, no interaction and no pressure to perform,” he says.
“The more I looked at this area, the more you see that a lot of men are afraid of having sex.
Society is becoming more pornified but, at the same time, many studies show that people are becoming less sexually active. We have young men buying Viagra, unable to keep an erection.”
A sleeping woman is no threat – she’s absent, an object, a receptacle. (…)
“There seems to be a perception that something like this is a ‘lesser crime’ because it might not be at the hands of a stranger but your partner.
But what would feel worse? Being pickpocketed by a stranger or robbed by someone you love and trust?” she asks.
“The idea that you’re asleep so it didn’t require violence is also very dangerous. Penetrating someone’s body without their permission is an inherently violent act.
“Imagine being asleep and waking to find someone going through your personal things,” she continues. “Now imagine it’s your actual body that has been intruded into.” (…)
“When I first left him, I wouldn’t sleep. I’d lie awake all night and have hallucinations – him raping me.
Those flashbacks, that trauma response, was the mind and body trying to piece things together.
Even now, nine years on, I still wake at two every morning. I don’t even need to check the clock.
We know that the body stores memories of trauma – and I think 2am is when it used to happen.” (…)
In February 2020, she told the jury: “There has never been a part of me that has not been profoundly impacted,” and that in the immediate aftermath, she suffered PTSD and had tried to take her own life.
She said she had felt “unsafe everywhere”, frightened to trust anyone, even her parents."
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lovelyjj · 5 months
Note
maybe a mix of “i’m just afraid” and “tell me the truth”? 🫶
avoidance
jj maybank x reader
wc: 1.4k
a/n: I lowkey hate this.
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You and JJ were the best of friends. You did everything together. He was your person you told everything to. He was your partner in crime. There were no secrets between the two of you.
You and JJ were on the couch that was on John B’s porch, enjoying the rain. The rain was blanketing the outer banks in water, soaking the grass and trees.
“I love the rain,” you stated.
“Really why?” JJ asked.
“I don’t know it makes me feel less alone, like the sky is crying with me.”
“That’s a really good reason,” JJ replied.
“Thanks,” you smiled.
“You want to dance?” JJ asked with a goofy grin on his face.
“In the rain?” You questioned surprised.
“In the rain,” JJ confirmed.
“Ok.”
JJ got up and reached his hand out for you to take, which you gladly accepted. The two of you went out on the grass and JJ held onto one hand. Then he put one hand on your waist and you put the hand not holding his, on his shoulder.
You guys danced and he spun you around and you got soaking wet. You were having a lot of fun though. You were having a blast and so was JJ.
When you were finished JJ ushered you inside as you giggled.
You both changed into dry clothes and afterwards JJ had an idea.
“Let’s make some hot chocolate,” JJ announced.
“Yes please,” you answered.
JJ whipped up two mugs of cocoa and you both sipped yours quietly.
“Tastes good,” you whispered.
“Wanna watch a movie?” you asked JJ.
“Sure,” JJ replied.
You both settled into John B’s living room and put on spider-man. You ended up falling asleep on the pullout couch.
——————
A couple days later you were all going out on the boat. The day was bright and sunny perfect for going out on the water.
JJ was looking at you in your bikini top. He knew he shouldn’t be looking at his best friend like that but he couldn’t help it. You looked hot and JJ could hardly look away from your chest.
You were oblivious to JJ’s ogling. You were happy to be on the boat with your friends.
“I can’t believe the weather is so nice,” you spoke.
“Yeah it’s perfect,” Pope responded.
“I thought it would be windy out here on the water,” JJ said removing his attention from your breasts.
“Hope we can catch some fish,” John B announced.
“Should be able to,” JJ commented.
While the boys were fishing, you Kiara and Sarah were on your phones. You were looking through your photos and you noticed how many you had of you and JJ.
There was one of you two at the beach with the waves in the background and a pretty sunset.
“Can I post this J?” you asked.
“Let me see it.”
You handed your phone to JJ and he took it. He scanned the image and smiled a genuine smile.
“Yeah that’s a good one. Go ahead fire away.”
You gave him a smile and decided to post the picture.
After a while you got a few comments. One was from Sarah that said, “Goals.”
You ignored it because you didn’t want to draw attention to it. The last thing you needed was people assuming your in a relationship with JJ cause your not. Your just friends and that’s all you ever will be.
—————
You were spending more and more time with JJ. Sometimes with the other pogues and sometimes just the two of you.
You were starting to catch feelings for him. You didn’t know how or why but being around him brought out the best in you. You started to fall in love with your best friend. You were scared you’ve never felt this way before. And what if he doesn’t love you back.
You decided to go to Kiara and ask for her help. She was working at the wreck, so you made your way over there.
“Hey Kie, I need your help,” you hesitated.
“Yeah sure y/n whatever you need,” Kiara replied.
“Here let’s sit down,” Kiara said as she directed you to a small table by the window.
You sat across from her and she gave you a kind smile with kind eyes.
“What’s up,” Kiara started.
“Well um I’ve sorta had these feelings for a certain someone and I’m not sure what to do about it. I just know I don’t want to tell them,” you began.
“Why don’t you want to tell them,” Kiara asked.
“I’m just afraid,” you bit your lip.
“What do you have to be afraid of?”
“Well first of all he could not feel the same way. He could reject me. He could laugh in my face. The list goes on,” you threw your hands up in the air.
“JJ wouldn’t do that,” Kiara raised a brow.
“How do you know it’s JJ?” You asked.
“Oh come on, who else would it be.”
“You’ve got a point.” you laughed.
“Speak of the devil,” Kiara whispered as you turned to the sound of the door opening.
JJ sauntered in to the wreck, Pope, John B and Sarah following suit.
“The gangs all here,” Kiara exclaimed.
“I need to go,” you whispered to Kiara.
“What why?”
“I just need to, ok!”
You slipped out the back door leaving the rest of the crew utterly confused.
—————
You have been avoiding JJ. It’s not that you wanted to, you hated the distance between you and not seeing him but you didn’t know how to act around him anymore.
You were getting worried because you thought JJ was on to you. Now JJ was getting worried because he hasn’t seen you in a while. He figured that you were mad at him. He hated it.
When the pogues would hang out all together you would not be there. You would miss the activities they had planned.
It was getting harder and harder hiding your feelings from JJ. You would always blush or your heart would beat really fast. So your only option you decided was to stop hanging out with him.
JJ was confused because of your absence. He was going to get to the bottom of this. He was determined.
He assumed you would be at your house. So that’s where he showed up. He knocked on your door a few times and after a few minutes you came to the door. You were shocked to see JJ standing there.
You wanted to run back to your room and hide. You were embarrassed by your actions. Just all of a sudden ghosting him. He didn’t deserve that.
“Hey um so I miss you. A lot. And I think we need to talk,” JJ scratched the back of his neck.
“Sure.”
You stepped outside and closed the door behind you.
“I need to know why your avoiding me,” JJ insisted.
“I’m not avoiding you.”
“y/n.”
“Ok ok I’ve been avoiding you because I didn’t want to see you.” You nervously crossed your arms and looked down.
JJ wasn’t buying it. “No. Tell me the truth.”
As you looked into JJ’s pleading blue eyes you felt your stomach flip. You couldn’t lie to him even if you tried.
“Fine. You want the truth? The truth is I’m in love with you. And I don’t know how to act around you anymore. I assumed you didn’t feel the same way so to save myself the rejection, I avoided you.”
“You thought I wouldn’t feel the same way?” JJ questioned.
“I’ve been in love with you for years,” JJ confessed.
“Really?”
JJ nodded his head.
“I can’t believe you did all that.” JJ said surprised.
You took a step closer to JJ and he took your face in his hands.
“Come here,” JJ whined.
You didn’t need to be asked twice. You leaned in and JJ placed lips on yours. Instantly you felt electrifying sparks shoot trough you. Your stomach erupted with butterflies. The kiss was gentle and delicate. JJ was excited and you were giddy.
Your lips were crushing together and moving against each other. JJ was feeling warm all over. Your hands were resting on JJ’s shoulders. One of JJ’s hand rested on your jaw and one hand snaked lower to your butt squeezing lightly. This caused you to gasp, allowing JJ’s tongue to slide into your mouth.
After making out you pulled away breathless. You wore a big smile and JJ laughed.
“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” JJ broke the silence.
“I’ve missed you too,” you responded.
“Will you be mine?” JJ asked.
“Yes, I’ll be yours,” you exclaimed.
JJ picked you up and spun you around, your laughter mixing together to create a sense of harmony and happiness. Since you and JJ were best of friends your romantic relationship will only flourish because you loved each other wholeheartedly.
533 notes · View notes
worthy of trust
pairing: sebastian sallow x fem!reader
warnings: sebastian being a jerk & calling you ignorant, angst, feeling like you lost a friend but he makes it up to you with a lil kiss
note: i've been obsessed with hogwarts legacy and the gameplay itself is just phenomenal. 39 hours into the game lol and still so much to do, so enjoy this sebastian oneshot. based on his questline, in the shadow of the mine i think?
important note: i do NOT support hate towards the transgender or LGBTQ+ community. JKR has made her stance very clear and i could not disagree and be disgusted with her more. this fic and future ones merely pertain to the character(s) in hogwarts legacy and to my knowledge, JKR had no part in the game. if you are still mad i play the game/write fics for hogwarts legacy, you can scroll past this. thank you!
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you had no qualms about trusting lodgok since sirona ryan had known him for years, along with miriam. while the both of you had been albeit hesitant at first towards one another, he had proven his loyalty to stopping ranrok and was actively trying to be one step ahead of him - which is exactly what you, sebastian, and the others wanted.
however, when the opportunity arose to tell sebastian about lodgok, it all came flooding back to you - anne.
you and sebastian had just finished clearing out a cavern of arachnids, which quite honestly, was pretty exciting. you had even reminded him that well, spiders aren't insects.
"don't you start," he had responded, a small smirk on his face.
after finding the last piece to the tryptich and hoping to solve the mystery concerning isidora morganach, returning to the undercroft was the last step. you both were eager to see if the portrait piece would fit, and once it had been placed, you were able to breathe.
"please tell me you recognize the location in this bit of canvas," you said, turning around to face your slytherin partner in crime.
he sighed, "the good news is, i do, in fact."
your shoulders dropped, "and the bad news?"
sebastian turned to look at you, "we're in for more trouble."
you groaned, leaning your head back as Sebastian's eyes seemed to darken; gluing your attention back to your slytherin friend, he continued, "i know that coast. Ranrok has taken over a huge mine and the surrounding area. Marunweem has suffered for it. It's as bad as Feldcroft's become."
with a sigh, your eyebrows knitted together and you looked at the triptych once more. sebastian glanced towards you, "should we head there now?
you shook your head, "no, we should wait."
sebastian immediately questioned you, "why?
you gave a grimanced look, "all this time, we've been a step behind ranrok. I may know someone who could help us get head."
sebastian raised an eyebrow, "who is that?"
before you could even think about formulating your answer a different way, the words slipped out, "a friendly goblin named lodgok. he wants no part in ranrok's fight."
sebastian immediately became disgusted, angry, even. "a friendly goblin?" he started, "you know goblins cursed my sister to shut her up! said she should 'be seen and not heard.'"
you took a step towards sebastian as he stepped back. taking a breath, you nodded, " i do, but not all goblins-"
he glared towards you, "not all goblins what? have you forgotten feldcroft? have you forgotten the mine we just went through?"
you sympathized with him, no doubt. you knew how close the twins were, how much Sebastian loved anne and cared for her - but this fight against ranrok was against all wizardkind, not just anne. and you knew she would understand.
shaking your head, you tried to reason with Sebastian, "no, sebastian, i haven't. you're not listening to me."
sebastian scoffed, "why would i listen to someone so ignorant?"
ouch.
you knew sebastian could be mean, cruel, but throughout these months of knowing him, he has only been so kind, sweet and soft with you. there was never any malice towards you, no anger or disgust. towards the goblins and ranrok in conversations with you, but it was never directed. it was understandable that what happened to anne was hurting Sebastian as well, but this anger was now at you, and he was changing.
you already had reservations working with lodgok before sirona ryan said you could trust him, but there was something he wasn't telling you. but it wasn't a secret that jeopardized your working relationship with him, no. if it had been, you would have turned your back and not worked with him another day.
it wasn't ignorant at all, you knew that. a bit sketchy at first, sure, but not ignorant. lodgok had proven himself trustworthy and has helped you in being one step ahead.
you stepped back in surprise, "that was cruel. perhaps your uncle was right about you - you don't know when to stop."
sebastian glowered over you, stepping forward as his words were laced with venom, "oh, i do know when to stop. unbelievable."
taking a deep breath, you turned and walked out of the undercroft, ready to scream. you understood where Sebastian was coming from but the way he talked to you was so...angering. maybe you should have lied about who it was, about what lodgok was.
but calling you ignorant? okay, yes, this was your first year learning about magic and catching up to the rest of your peers, but you earned respect and knew - for the most part - what you were doing. you would never intentionally put Sebastian, anne, ominis, whoever in danger if you were not confident.
with a sniffle, you made your way through the dark arts tower to your common room, ready to just cry about how upset and angry Sebastian was. but before you could, ominis's voice stopped you, "coming from the undercroft, are we?"
you turned around, eyes glassy with unshed tears - albeit glad that ominis couldn't see them. you gave a small smile, "oh, yes. we were just discussing a painting we found."
ominis hummed, not entirely satisfied with your answer, "your voice is shaky. what happened?"
you let out a breath, "i - we can't talk about it here, ominis. too open."
he sighed, and with his free hand, he grabbed your arm, pulling you towards an owl statue inside a small window, before it turned around and you found yourself...well, inside a wall at hogwarts.
before you had time to question ominis of where you were, he asked once more, "what happened?"
you explained everything, just leaving out the parts where Sebastian was intent on not stopping to find a cure for anne, but moreso focused on the triptych. when you revealed who lodgok was, ominis cringed.
"oh, that's not the worst part," you said, wiping a stray tear, "he asked why he should listen to someone so ignorant."
ominis winced once more, "yikes."
you grumbled, "tell me about it. i want to cry because, well, i understand why he is upset but lodgok is a lead to stopping ranrok, to being one step ahead."
your blind friend nodded, "agreed, and if sirona trusts him, that's saying something."
you both stood in silence, the occasional sniffle from your nose giving ominis hints of how much this bothered you.
"give him time to cool off," he began. "anne is a sore spot for him, but he needs to understand that she won't be the only one cursed without your goblin friend's help. you made your way into his heart, those that he cares about. you'll be fine."
you nodded, trying to formulate your words, "thank you, ominis. i apologize for putting you in the middle of this, but it was nice to have someone listen."
ominis smiled softly, "of course, y/n. meet you at dinner?"
with a quiet, "yeah," you watched ominis make his way out of the secret room, and once again, you were left with screaming thoughts. sobs immediately racked your body, regret aching from your tears and sore throat. there was nothing left by the time you were done, face dried with tears as you composed yourself.
taking a breath, you left the room and immediately looked down, seeing a letter by the 'door.' on the top left was ominis's handwriting, but the letter itself was unopened: told you he's gone soft for you.
with a pained sigh, you picked up the letter and opened it, reading the words:
we need to talk. undercroft after dinner?
"merlin's beard."
dinner was not something you could stomach at the moment, and to be honest with yourself, you were sure it could come right back up as you made your way to the undercroft. with a wave of your wand, you opened up the clock-looking door and headed inside, anxiety eating you up like a full-course meal.
sebastian had his back to you, staring intently at the triptych until he heard the door open. his eyes met yours immediately, and he softened.
"hi," he said, biting his lip nervously as you made your way over to him.
"sebastian, i-" you began, but he shook his head. with a small smile, he grabbed your hands and held them against his chest, "it's ok."
your eyes welled up with tears, "but it's not, seb. i should've been honest with you and i wasn't. I'm sorry, you have every right to hate me."
sebastian was silent as the tears fell down your cheeks until he wiped them away with his thumb. you sniffled, looking up at him. he grasped onto your hands once more, "you were hesitant to tell me because you know how much i care for anne, for my sister. you listen to me and want what is best - that has always been you. I'm not mad at you, dove. I'm mad at merlin for making that our last option."
you gave a sad excuse for a chuckle as he smiled at you. he continued, "dove, listen to me. I'm sorry for what i said. i know you aren't ignorant; i reacted harshly about your goblin friend, but you understand why?"
you immediately nodded, squeezing his hands, "of course, seb. i know how important it is for you to find a cure for anne, and i would never jeopardize that if there was a chance lodgok could betray us. but he's good, honest."
sebastian grinned, and you continued, "i'm not mad at you either, y'know. you're good to me, seb, and i was just scared i lost you."
he held your face between his hands, thumbs softly rubbing over your cheeks as he adored you, "you could never lose me, dove. you are one of the few good things left in my life and i'd be an idiot to let you go."
you swallowed a sob as tears clouded your vision, but Sebastian hushed you, "it's okay, sweetheart. we're okay - i trust you. promise."
you nodded and gave a small smile, "i trust you too, seb. promise."
leaning forward, sebastian nudged his nose with yours, and you giggled as he mumbled, "there's my pretty dove." and with that, Sebastian sealed your lips in a kiss, your hands wrapping around his neck as he grounded himself on your hips.
maybe you should send lodgok a thank you card.
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forensicheart · 25 days
Text
One Way Trip
Max Verstappen x Reader
Summary: Max gets his debut in f1 and he wants his best friend to be there like they always have.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
You groaned as their phone buzzed, the screen flashing on and off as texts spammed through. When the texts didn't stop you lifted their head of the pillow to glance at the clock on their bedside. 4:02am it read. Usually you would wonder who was bothering you so intensely this time of morning but you knew exactly who it was. Before you could even reach for the phone to check the texts still coming through your phone began to rang.
"What in the world could be that important that you couldn't wait a few more hours to tell me Max?" You grumbled down the phone with tiredness.
"I'm in. I'm racing in f1!" This seemed to shake the tiredness right out of you as they sat up with shock.
"Tell me you're not messing with me Max" Max let out a short laugh, one full of shock and excitement more than anything.
"I'm serious Y/n, I'm making my debut!" A smile overtakes your face.
"Holy shit! Max, that's amazing!" The line stays silent for a moment as the two friends take in the exciting news, wide smiles on both of your faces. Suddenly the silence is broken.
"Come with me"
"What?" You responds confused by Max's sudden request.
"Come with me Y/n. You have been by my side since the beginning and I want you to keep being by my side" The silent resumes as you take in Max's words.
"But Max, I-" Max seems to be prepared for whatever you has to say though as he doesn't give you the time to finish.
"I know you would be leaving your family behind, your other friends, school, everything but please, I need you with me. You can visit your family and friends whenever you wish, we'll find a school for you or a way for you to do it online, I'll make sure you still get to do the course you've always wanted. We can make it work Y/n, I just want you with me"
"You're asking me to just drop everything and fly around the world with you Max, drop a secure and stable plan and life that I have here and go along with the craziness that we both know will come with this debut. I don't know if I can do that" Max lets out a sigh as you sit, stunned by how much Max wants you coming with him.
"Just, take some time to think it over, please?" You knows that Max will respect your decision but won't drop it till you make one.
"Ok, I'll think it over"
"Thank you" And with that the dial tone is heard and you let your arm fall to their side, phone still in hand as you glance at the clock once more, seeing it now reads, 4:28am. Might as well get a few more hours of sleep in before making the big decision.
A few hours later you wake up to the feeling of a weight making the bed dip slightly. You open your eyes to see your mum looking at you with a smile.
"Morning sweetie"
"Morning mum" You yawn.
"There's someone here to see you, do you mind if I let them in" You nod knowing there wasn't much use saying no and your mums gets up and leaves the room only to have Max enter a few seconds after taking the spot your mum had just been.
"Hey"
"Hey Max" You sit up to be face to face with Max as you rub your eyes free of sleep as Max fiddles with his hands anxiously.
"I'm sorry to barge in like this, I know I said that you could think it over but plans have changed and I've been asked to fly out in an hour"
"An hour? Max that's not enough time to make a decision that might change my life just because you want me with you" And you were right, you'd only been asked a few hours ago to go with Max and now you we're expected to have an answer in this moment.
You had just made it into your dream course at a high level university, you'd made friends you imagined would be life long and you were happy and settled here. But. Max was your best friend, partner in crime, your everything. How are you meant to make that choice so suddenly. As if you needed more reason to be so unsure you're suddenly pulled from your thoughts as lips met yours. Kissing you with passion that you'd never felt before, making your decision come clear with just the one action. But it still left you with one question.
"Why do you want me to come with you Max?"
"I already told you, you-"
"No Max. You told me why before you kissed me, now I'm asking again. Why do you want me to come with you Max?" Max took a deep breath, looking away from you but holding your hands tightly in his.
"Because I love you. Because I've loved you since the first day we met back in kindergarten, since you stood up for me as other kids picked on me for my outfit. And yes, it's cliche, it's so cliche to be confessing my love to you, my childhood best friend but I'm doing it because it's the truth. I want you with me Y/n, through everything and anything that comes at me, at us. I want you to be there for me and I want to be there for you too, I want you to have the life you've always wanted but selfishly I want you to come with me on this crazy journey for my dream life too and my dream life includes you" Max speaks fast but without stumbling and his little speech has you stunned once more.
"It's a one way trip Max, once I make this decision there isn't much room to turn back" You sigh as your hand comes up to gently grab Max's chin, making him look at you. "But I'm willing to go on this one way trip with you Max, because I know you'll make it my dream life just as much as yours and I love you for that, as my best friend and... as something more" Max gives your hands a squeeze, letting you pull him down slightly to kiss him and he pulls away grinning brightly at you.
"I believe we have a plane to catch" You chuckle as you look into Max's eyes.
"I believe we do"
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thepascalofus · 9 months
Text
Supply Run - Receipt (part one)
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AO3
PART TWO
Pairing: Mando/Din Djarin x afab!Reader
Word Count: 4.6k
Summary: You’ve been Mando’s crew partner for a year now. Throughout that year Mando has warmed up to you and given you signs that your heart throbbing crush on him is reciprocated. There’s one thing making you hesitate. The condoms he bought on the most recent supply run.
Content Warnings: MDNI, 18+ only! Post season 2, the Crest lives, strangers to friends to lovers, soft!Mando, helmet loopholes, pining, idiots in love, jealous!reader, mentions of sex work (sex work is work!), eventual SMUT (making out, grinding, f!receiving fingering, f!receiving oral sex, p in v, PRAISE kink, dirty talk), FLUFF, cuddling, happy ending guaranteed!
The ramp of the Crest lowered, revealing the bright sun and arid atmosphere of the random planet Mando chose for a pitstop. In the distance were jagged mountains, the colors of orange, red, and brown coming together to paint streaks across the rocky range. Sparse populations of trees littered the distant landscape. Large–but tiny from a distance–birds flew from tree top to tree top, wings fanned outwards to catch the air currents beneath their wings.
To your left was Mando. His silver beskar armor glinted in the light as he shifted his weight from one foot to another. Broad shoulders blocked a sizable proportion of your peripheral vision. Observing the new planet, he stood like a statue.
Tall. Solid. Strong. Capable. Protective.
Biting your lip, your gaze traveled up and down Mando, head to toe. He certainly had an idea of how intimidating he looked. Yet, he had no idea how that intimidation made him look so good.
People always snuck glances at you and Mando when the pair of you were in public. Whispers could be picked up on as well. Rumors about his Creed. The state of the planet of Mandalore. How dangerous Mando was.
The danger he possessed only made your feelings for him deepen. You knew what he was capable of, but you also knew he would never use his capabilities on you. Not that you didn’t want him to…
Maybe he could lift you up. Carry you across the hull. Place you on the bed in his bunk. His large, gloveless hands smoothing up and down your sides. 
Mando could pin both of your hands above your head while he–.
Ok. Stop. That’s enough.
You cleared your throat, hoping to snap Mando out of his observational state, and you out of yours. “Alright, so we need five things: bacta, medkits, rations, a new flight suit, andddd soap?” You listed as you turned to him. Feet shifting, he turned his helmet to look at you. Shoulders that donned beskar pauldrons followed suit. The classic Mandalorian T shape of the visor burned into your pupils.
He paused, as if he was looking over his own checklist. “That should be it,” he confirmed with a nod. You returned his nod and added a small smile.
“Ok see ya!” You threw over your shoulder as you quickly bounded down the ramp of the Crest.
“Dank farrik, hold on, hold on,” Mando’s modulator gritted out as he clicked a button on his vambrace to close the Crest, running to get caught up to you. He rarely let you stray too far, especially when on new planets like this one. But, the Mandalorian read about the planet–and the quarry on it–before landing. 
“This planet is under the jurisdiction of the New Republic, so crime rates are low,” his modulated voice filled your ears once he caught up to you, “You’ll be on your own for this supply run.”
Stopping dead in your tracks, your shoes crunched against the brown substrate underneath them as you turned to face the man, “Really?” You asked, eyebrows shooting towards your hairline.
Mando responded with a hesitant nod. “I have some business to take care of, business that your presence isn’t required for,” the beskar pauldrons lifted and lowered in a shrug, “I figured you would enjoy having free range over the market.”
“Are you sure?” You replied.
He crossed his arms, the muscles in them appearing larger when pressed together. Mando’s helmet cocked to the side and his hip jutted out. The chin of his helmet lifted slightly as it motioned towards the market. “Go before I change my mind.”
Smile spread across your face, you did a hop of excitement in place and continued towards the market.
Trudging along to explore the unfamiliar marketplace, you recalled the previous supply run at a more populated planet.
Mando’s finger was perpetually hooked through one of your belt loops as he dragged you from stall to stall with him.
“Mando, I’m not a child,” you told him. Your eyes rolled as he tugged you along, your hips jerking along with the movement of his arm. Sometimes your hands wound up on Mando’s arm to maintain your balance. The muscles underneath your hands hardened and flexed as he maneuvered through the crowd.
“I never said you were,” he stated as his gaze remained focused on the crowd. His eyes constantly scanned the marketplace. Beings of different cultures and origins milled through the alleyway lined with stalls. The crowd of the market was average sized–no hustle and bustle but also no empty stalls. The occasional sound of credits clinking rang throughout the dry air as someone dug into their pocket to pay for their purchase.
You scanned the market just as Mando did, following his metal gaze to try and catch a glimpse at what he was seeing. “Are we in danger?” Your voice dropped to a whisper, uncertain about what’s going on inside that beskar helmet. 
Deadpanning you once again, he responded, “Not that I am aware of.” The T-shape constantly spun on an axis, and the grip of his finger tightened on the fabric of your belt loop.
Brows furrowing, you finally turned your head fully towards him, “Then why are you doing all this?” You gestured with one of your hands up and down his body. His hand jerked to tug you along, your hip following in response.
A large inhale and exhale made his beskar-plated chest rise and fall, “I want to make sure yo-,” he paused, then quickly continued, “Just want to make sure we’re safe.” He nods. The one he gives you when he's confirming something you said. Like his approval of the items you listed to get on a supply run.
Which brings you back to now. Receiving that same nod made a series of connections go off in you. For the past week you’ve been thinking about what he said. His finger tugged your hips with him, his verbal slip-up found its way onto the center stage of your thoughts every night cycle on the Crest.
“I want to make sure yo-.”
It felt like a confirmation.
You started as an assistant, helping Mando with whatever he needed. Marketplace runs? Check. Bounty information? Check. Small ship repairs? Check. But, calling someone an assistant sounded…weird to Mando. He didn’t enjoy the air of subordinacy the word possessed. The Mandalorian thought back to his days with his fellow Mandalorians. The covert worked as a team, with no hierarchy. Sure, some people were assigned roles, but no one was above anyone else. Everyone was part of one unit.
You worked on a small, galactically insignificant planet at a small-items repair shop. Mando entered one day with a scope for one of his blasters. Impressed with your knowledge and efficiency–the scope being repaired in less than ten minutes–the Mandalorian inquired about the chances of hiring you. “Partner,” he said with a nod, when he offered you the job, “You’ll be my partner.”
You both met at a cantina after your shift. Mando explained job responsibilities, pay, and the lifestyle that the job required. Sitting across from the man covered in beskar was intimidating. But near the end of your conversation you realized he was just soft spoken. He was also all business. Any conversation was focused on logistics of the job. He didn’t ask you weird personal questions. He respected your skills and your opinions. There were definitely worse bosses to have, you figured. Eager to explore the galaxy and leave behind the little planet, you loaded the Crest with your personal belongings the following week. 
Living in the Razor Crest with Mando was awkward at first. Mando would keep his interactions with you to a minimum. You noticed that he only left the cockpit when he knew you were occupied, asleep, or off of the ship. If he had to be in the same space as you, he would leave at least a meter of distance between your bodies. Like you were two magnets of the same polarity, refusing to go closer to the other.
All business.
But that didn’t stop you from being friendly. Whenever you did see Mando you would offer him a, “How are you?” Or a, “How was your day?” His responses were consistently short and to the point. 
“Fine.”
“Busy.”
“Awful.”
Dinner was when you typically saw him. He would come down to grab a ration pack and scurry back into the cockpit. You also saw him when he returned from hunts, dragging the bounty behind his beskar frame. His grunts echoed throughout the Crest’s hull as he pulled the quarry up and froze him into carbonite. You claimed a small section of the hull as your living quarters, so you had no choice but to watch.
Trying to break the tension, you asked, “How was your day?”
Mando huffed, his broad shoulders covered in beskar lifted and fell, “Nothing you want to hear about,” he deadpanned to you. If he did offer any emotion, it was cut out of his voice by his helmet’s modulator.
“Try me,” you crossed your arms and raised your eyebrows. Leaning back on the cold wall of the hull, your chest thrummed with nervous energy as you waited for his response. Was that too much? Were you just going to push him away?
“Quarry tried to escape and they ran. Would have been back four hours ago,” the modulator gritted out, “Not too fun.” His helmet tilted to the side and he squeezed his hands together that were clasped in front of him.
The Mandalorian’s wide frame took up the majority of the door frame that separates the carbonite room from the hull. Large gloved hands remained clasped together while he shifted in place, eventually settling on leaning against the frame.
You stood still in shock for a couple seconds. If you listened closely you could have heard the hearts beating in the hull. That was the most that Mando has ever said to you at once. “Oh, I’m sorry,” you started.
“You don’t have to be sorry,” he brushed past you towards the ladder going up to the cockpit, “It’s my job.”
You turned towards him, which halted his ascent, “That doesn’t mean it sucks any less,” your eyes widened and you tried to backtrack, “sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that your job sucks,” you blurted out in an attempt to save face.
Mando met your gaze with the T of his visor and replied, “My job does suck.”
Did he just try to be funny? A giggle bubbled out from your chest. His silver helmet shook slightly from side to side and he turned back to climb the ladder. But not before he also let out a small chuckle.
His attitude slowly and steadily transformed after that night. 
Mando lingered in the hull longer in the mornings and in the evenings. The mornings were when you asked, “What’re the plans for today?” And the evenings came with your, “How was your day?”
At one point he started making you a cup of caf every morning when he was awake first, and he usually was. He knew you favored the drink in the mornings so he began to regularly purchase it, and he built up a sizable stash in the Crest.
His preferred distance from you shrunk and shrunk. The broad Mandalorian opted to stand next to you in the mornings, helping you make breakfast as well as he could. Ever-so-subtle brushes as you passed each other on the Crest became more frequent. Sometimes he would touch a hand to your waist as he passed, or on the small of your back if you weren’t facing him.
The beskar warrior spoke more too. He taught you a few words in Mando’a, which consisted of a couple basic words and some insults. 
“Di’kutla,” he spat out as he struggled to repair a part on one of his blasters.
“What’s that one mean?” You asked over your shoulder, looking up from the article you were reading on your Holopad.
Mando huffed in frustration and gritted out, “worthless…stupid,” as he continued to try and force the part off of the blaster.
Chuckling, you repeated the word in your mind and watched as Mando continued to struggle. You stored all of the words he shared with you deep in your brain, not wanting to forget this special part of himself that Mando shared with you.
One of your evening chats came to an end and the broad beskar man was drifting back to this bunk. For the first time, he paused and looked at you. You knew his gaze underneath the helmet met yours. No proof, but you knew.
“Goodnight,” the word gently flowed through his helmet’s modulator. 
He’s said it every night he’s been on the ship since then. Sometimes his gaze lingered on yours too long. A couple times you swore you saw the center of his chest rise, as if he was about to say something, but it stopped mid-exhale and Mando retreated into his bunk.
You found yourself to be increasingly longing for the sound of the ramp descending, signaling his return from a hunt. He trudged up the ramp, quarry in tow. Freezing the person in carbonite was always fast. Usually small pleasantries were exchanged before he used the fresher to clean off. 
If your mind were to venture towards more perverse thoughts, your favorite part was after he used the fresher.
He always emerged in a pair of black pants, a black t-shirt, and of course, his helmet.
No armor. No gloves. Not even the usual long-sleeved layer underneath his t-shirt.
When he turned to toss his clothes into a small hamper, you swore small tufts of dark brown hair peaked out from beneath his helmet. Nevertheless, a combination of factors had you in awe. Watching as Mando hauled the quarry into carbonite like it was nothing. You saw the toned muscles in his arms, developed from decades of finely tuned combat. The broad expanse of his back, rippling underneath his t-shirt. His calloused, capable hands are composed of thick fingers. You were in awe at his physique, his presence, the things he did to provide for the both of you.
And it hit you like a cold, ocean wave just how unafraid of him you were.
As if your fondness towards the Mandalorian couldn’t grow any more, he started returning from supply runs with gifts for you. Although he rarely let you go on runs alone, he did have the decency to give you space during pit stops. You would wander near him while looking at all of the different crafts the stalls had to offer.
One day you were peering at a set of comfortable lounge pants. You managed to whittle your wardrobe down to one set after damaging pair after pair when repairing the Razor Crest. Shoulders slumped, you thought about how comfy the pants would be when sleeping in your makeshift bed on the floor of the Crest. You knew you didn’t have enough credits, so you moved along to purchase the items the pair of you actually needed.
Milling about the market weren’t many people, which was most likely why you were alone on this shopping trip. The brown sands of the marketplace intruded upon the surroundings, leaving dunes of sand curving up and into the stalls. Sun rays blared down from the cloudless sky. Heat already seeped through your airy shirt and throughout your skin, conjuring up a layer of sweat. After visiting four stalls you purchased all of the necessary items. 
Bacta. Soap. Rations. Spare parts. You confirmed each purchase on the receipts from the market. A step you always took to make sure nothing was forgotten.
You met Mando back at the Razor Crest and started unloading your bags. Item after item piled on the center of the ship's floor. Rations. Bacta. Medkits. Sweatpants. Ammo. Ra-.
Sweatpants?
The sweatpants were identical to the ones you stopped and looked at while shopping. Your hands reached for the sweatpants and marveled in their softness. Pausing, your gaze lifted to meet Mando’s T-shaped visor. “Did you buy sweatpants?” Confusion oozed from your voice.
His gaze remained on yours and he replied with a slight nod of his head, “Yes. They’re for you.” 
“Mando, you didn’t ha-”
“Take it. Please. I feel bad enough making you sleep on the floor,” he insisted. His gloved hand gestured to the sleeping pad, pillow, and blanket neatly stored in a corner of the hull. 
“Honestly it hasn’t been that bad. The sleeping pad you got is pretty comfy.” You shrugged and told him the truth. Sleeping on that plush pad was infinitely better than the hull’s cold, metal floor.
“You have to set it up every night. You at least deserve a permanent bed,” his modulator made his words sound like churning gravel.
You stared into the black T covering his face. His shoulders drooped, like he gave up on trying to convince you. The gesture was a silent plea to just accept the gift.
“Thank you,” you said to him softly, “it means a lot.” 
It was his turn to shrug, “That’s why I do it.”
Today marks a year since the two of you became “partners”.
For you, that marked a year since you’ve met the man you had a heart throbbing crush on. 
You knew Mando wasn’t much of the sentimental type. Everything he kept was for a purpose. Any sentimental things had extreme meaning to him. If you were reading the situation correctly, you had a burning suspicion that the beskar covered man liked you back. So suggesting you two get matching bracelets at the market wouldn’t be completely farfetched. Even if he didn’t like you back you could just play it off as a gag gift…right?
After trudging across the brown landscape for twenty minutes, Mando at your tail, you arrived at the market. 
“We meet at that stall,” you heard from over your shoulder. Your eyes followed Mando’s finger to a bright red food vendor stall, “in 2 hours. Understood?”
A smile plastered itself onto your face and you gave him a sarcastic salute, “Understood.”
A breathy chuckle passed through Mando’s modulator. He shook his head softly and motioned for you to get a move on. You turned on your heel and walked to your first destination.
Bacta? Check. Rations? Check. Soap? Check. Medkits? Check.
The only thing left was a new flight suit for Mando.
As you walked towards the clothing section of the market you stopped at a men’s clothing stall to purchase an extra large black flight suit. Once your transaction was completed you walked further into the alleyway lined with stalls selling dresses, flight gear, loungewear, jewelry, bracelets. Bracelets. 
Your eyes landed on a stall with various fabrics on display. The front tables of the vendor were packed with different colored bracelets. Bracelet materials ranged from metal, leather, twine, thick cord, beads, and some materials you’ve never seen before.
The stall became even more enchanting as you got closer. Signs displayed prices, sizes, and ongoing sales. Immediately your eyes landed on a vast array of multicolored bracelets. You were thinking of getting something green since Mando told you that Grogu is green. 
A couple months ago he told you about how he had to give Grogu to a Jedi to train, since Grogu could use the force. Your heart sank. Mando often turned the metal knob of the thruster–a silver ball–over and over in his hand. He only told you recently that it was Grogu’s favorite thing to steal from him.
Your eyes danced over the section of green bracelets. Some were too dark, some too vibrant, others were just ugly. Finally, your gaze landed on the bracelet.
A fine, light green thread, you assumed somewhat close to Grogu’s color, was intertwined with thicker silver and brown threads. Light green and silver streaked across the rough brown surface of the bracelet. It reminded you of light streaking across the windshield of the Crest while in hyperspace.
This was the one.
Sifting through the different sizes you picked out one in your size and one you guessed would fit Mando. The bracelets were adjustable and hopefully that would help if you got Mando the wrong size. Setting the bracelets down to sift through your pockets for credits, you looked up at a weathered sign displaying the prices.
PRICES
1 bracelet = 15 credits
2 = 30 credits
3 = 45 credits
4 = 60 credits
As you reached into your pockets and retrieved your last credits you realized you didn’t have enough. Only twenty five credits sat in your palm. Not in the mood to haggle with the vendor about the price, your shoulders dropped and you returned the bracelets to their original places.
You checked your watch. One hour left until you met back up with Mando. Making it from one end of the market to the other took forty five minutes, so you figured you could take the scenic route back to the meet up point. Getting to see the new sights could cheer you up after not being able to afford the gift you wanted to get for Mando.
Walking up on a familiar intersection, you opted to take a right this time instead of a left. The path on the right was much more…interesting…than the path on the left. One vendor sold exotic pets. The next sold potions that promised to give the consumer various effects. The next stall was not a stall, it was a large establishment.
The establishment stood tall amongst the surrounding stalls. Solid brick walls were painted a dull gray. A sign with old, faded letters was centered on the front wall between two windows. The tall windows of the building were heavily tinted. Shadows of different figures danced across the glass. Some bodies were indistinguishable from the ones they were next to. Music blared from inside, but it barely covered the sounds of moans and the slapping of skin on skin.
Looking up, front and center on the building reads: BROTHEL
Brothels weren’t a common occurrence on the supply runs you’ve been on, but you suppose the service was in demand. You shrugged and walked past the gray building. The moving bodies in the windows almost allowed your vision to gloss over him.
Tall. Broad. Covered in beskar. A black T shaped visor gazing down at a man.
At first you froze in shock. Was this the business Mando had to attend to? The one that, “didn’t require your presence”? You never pictured the Mandalorian to be a man that required services like these, but he is a man nonetheless.
A soft breeze sent goosebumps down your arms towards your fingertips. Realizing you’re out in the open, you ducked into an empty market stall. A gap in the wood planks making up the stall’s sides gave you a clear view of Mando’s encounter with the mystery man.
The man was in all black with a silver name tag on his chest. By Mando’s serious demeanor you could tell that the conversation was strictly business. The Mandalorian’s helmet tilted in question at the man and Mando pulled out a pen and pad to write on. From the man’s stance and close position to the building you could tell he was the bouncer, plus the presence of a name tag. 
The bouncer pulled out an identical pad and began to speak. You couldn’t hear a word they exchanged, but you could tell Mando was writing down a list. A finger on the bouncer’s hand came up everytime he stated something else from his list. Mando jotted down a few things, closed his pad, and returned it to a pocket in his suit.
Then he reached into a different pocket, pulled out a sizable amount of credits, and handed them to the bouncer.
Did he just buy a night at the brothel?
Your heart dropped to your stomach. Blood rushed towards your head and your vision slightly blurred. You felt stupid. You fell for a guy, pretty much your boss, you don’t even know what he looks like, and he didn’t like you back. You were even going to buy you and him matching bracelets. Breaths exited your mouth in stutters. The realization of how naive you were radiated throughout your being. Mando was just being nice to you. He managed to warm up to you. That’s it. 
But you were also so confused. What were the fleeting touches in the Crest? The gifts he gave you after trips to the market? The early morning and late evening conversations? Feelings bubbled up from your stomach and started to seep out of your body in the form of tears. 
You spent a year getting to know this man. Kriff, it took you a couple months before he started replying to you in full sentences. No one else has experienced Mando like this. You didn’t want anyone else to see his ungloved hands, the rolling muscles of his back in just a t-shirt, the way the helmet softly shook from side to side when he heard a bad joke. Those small, “Goodnight”s, are yours. The modulated chuckles are yours. The way he makes a cup of caf for you on most mornings. That’s yours.
Of course Mando wasn’t yours, but jealousy managed to seep into your bones regardless. 
Zoning back into the situation, you realized Mando started walking back in the direction towards the meet up point. Scrambling to get to your feet, you jumped over the wall of the empty stall and made your way back
Upon seeing the size of the bag you carried, Mando slipped it from your grasp and into his. He stuffed a small piece of paper, a receipt, into the bag before swinging it onto his shoulder. 
The walk back to the Razor Crest lacked conversation. Sounds of crunching ground underneath your shoes echoed in your ears. Mando followed your lead and kept the trek speechless.
The Razor Crest steadily became larger and larger on the horizon. Once orange, brown, and red mountain ranges were now painted in hues of pink and purple. Colors of the rocky formations reflected off of the Razor Crest.
You bounded up the ramp as soon as it was lowered. Mando followed suit and began to empty the bag of its contents. Each item fell onto the middle of the hull’s floor.
Bacta. Medkits. Flight suit. Soap. Rations.
The beskar man dug around in the bag for a second more and retrieved a handful of receipts. 
“Here,” he said as he handed them to you, “I know you like to look them over.”
Your stomach flipped at the thoughtfulness. Reaching your hand out, his gloveless fingers brushed yours in the handing off of the receipts. After they were straightened out you began to look through them.
First receipt, bacta and medkits.
Second receipt, rations and soap.
Third receipt, flight suit.
Fourth receipt.
Wait. Fourth receipt?
Your eyes scanned the lines of the flimsy paper. The date was from today, so it wasn’t old. But you didn’t visit the vendor listed on the receipt. Pupils skipping a few lines, you read the items purchased.
ITEMS PURCHASED (1)
CONDOM - 12 PACK
For the second time today you froze. Blood rushed up towards your head as your vision blurred. 
He really just bought a night with a worker at the brothel.
From the little details you had, you tried to make sense of the scene you stumbled across earlier in the night. Mando talked to the bouncer, probably asked who was working that night, wrote down the workers he was interested in, and paid for a night with one of them. I mean, what else could you possibly be talking with a brothel bouncer about? The weather?
Good thing you didn’t buy those bracelets.
PART TWO
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simonrillleyyysss · 1 month
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⊹ ࣪ ˖ THE THINGS ID CHANGE
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‘i don’t think any amount of praying, could save me, ma’am.’؛
ཐིཋྀ after lieutenant simon riley visits soap mactavishes hometown, he stumbles upon a devout catholic, whom he forms strong opinions about.
𐙚 simon riley x afab!religious reader
; smut, fluff, angst
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chapter one; genesis
    it all happened so fast. the quick cock of the gun pressed to johnnys head, the thud of his body, blood beginning to seep in a small puddle around his limp head, weakly tumbling down onto the concrete footing beneath him. it all happened too quickly, too suddenly for riley to comprehend, watching his partner in crime huff out heavy breaths as he was rushed away afterwards what happened even faster was the plane back to scotland with the man.
or—perhaps longer, the forever feeling of gratitude towards whatever god or deities above had spared johnny, the longing feeling of relaxation and thanks internally. oh, how fortunate they both happened to be, the first moment in centuries he believed there was an other worldly entity.
    ‘ye’ready tae experience some good oul’mactavish homeland?’
    tan quizzed happily, despite having a large, thick band of bandages and cotton slung ‘round the side of his head, similar to a eyepatch that those of pirate life would’ve used, except across the side of his face and head; a smelly seagull from the beach could suffice as his parrot, simon thought.
  ‘don’ think i’ll ever be ready, johnny.’ 
a gruff voice erupted, letting the man march ahead infront of him, leaving blonde to carry bags of luggage and items, thick brows furrowed in an agitated expression, nose scrunched in soft thought as they walked down the laneway, a soft gasp and patter of footsteps sounding just ahead of them.
   ‘johnny! what happened to you?’
   ‘awk, stop dotin’ nai’—you’ve seen mawae’ worse, doll.’
    brown eyes quickly darted up to meet your own, which were glancing into his own with a heavy sense of novelty—just before they quickly fluttered back to johnnys, thick lashes brushing against the chub of your cheek, fingers gently caressing the stubbled, strong jaw of the individual above you.
  ‘you have a lot of explaining tae’do, johnny..’
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    ‘would you like some more, sir?’
   you started, hovering at the kitchen counter, turning to the man hunched beside mohawk— empty mug in hand, that of which was previously filled with a generous amount of caffeine given to him by the poise woman glaring at him.
   ‘shouldn’.
   he responded briefly, attention fixating onto soap, whom was carelessly folding himself across your sofa, practically using your lounge as a temporary camp for the pair of men, placing the mug down onto the glass coffee table infront of him.
     ‘hawve’ye’ been?’
   ‘i should be askin’ you, johnny. what the—what the dang where you thinkin’? told you not to get into that kind of work! s’for bad men, bad bad people involved in that business, for..for heavens sake!’
   you spoke so carefully, so tenderly to johnny—yet so angrily, pure anxiety and frustration bubbling beneath that worrysome tone of yours, simon read you like a book within minutes, watching your fingers fumble with the crucifix pendant dangling between the valley of your chest, your brows knitting in sadness towards hawked momentarily, foot bouncing against the wooden boards of your floor.
   ‘ye havnae’ changed a bit, bonnie. yer’ still praying and going tae’ mass?’
      ‘always, sir. ever since you stepped foot out of this—this—horrible town.’
    as your eyes met soaps, he reached out to encase his large palm around simon’s shoulder, standing himself up as the other beast followed suit, hands tucked in his tracksuit bottom-pockets, staring at you with a hardsetjaw, lids narrowed in study.
     ‘course y’ave..well, yeno’ where i am, aye?’
          johnny paused, rubbing a hand along the back of his neck slowly.
        ‘we.’
   he hummed, gesturing to the blonde beside him; who’s eyes were scanning along your outfit.
that night he said his first prayer in decades.
-
i do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform
© - simonrillleyyyysss
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lazyjellyfish300 · 3 months
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A Day Off at Miguel's🥗📺💜
Miguel O'Hara x Fem reader
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A/N: my 300 follower celebration blurb I just typed up impromptu. Sorry if it's a little messy. Just the classic, your boyfriend is an ahole and Miguel is your shoulder to cry on comfort vibes. ;) I got carried away. Word count 2.4k
TW: a little angst, cheating, some violence/threats nothing too graphic, your ex is mean and Miguel handles him for you, other than that just fluff.
------
You stared down at the sidewalk with your hands on your knees, hyperventilating, a sick feeling pooling in your stomach which you surely thought would spill itself onto the street. You wanted to break something. You wanted to fight somebody. Your no-good, lying, cheating hoe ass boyfriend, or the skank he had in YOUR bed with him when you unfortunately walked into the scene of the crime. Maybe both? Definitely both. You don't even know anymore.
I'm gonna quit my job, leave the state, change my name. I'm so over everything and everyone... nobody's there for me... fuck, let me call Daniela...
*Ring* *Ring* .....
c'mon girl pick up, I know you have no service in your cabin in Switzerland with your sugar daddy but I need you right now....
*Ring*...... You have reached the voicemail box of...
FUCK
You try so hard not to throw your phone, but then you get an idea. Maybe Miguel? No, no way..he's your co worker...not going to lie, the tension was there, but you kept it short with him because you had a boyfriend. He had been your mission partner for about 6 months now, you came in to fill in for Jess when she went on maternity leave. He was really grumpy at first, but he slowly let his guard down when he saw how kind you were.
Even the times when he snapped at you, you just responded in a calm voice, giving him a smile. On Valentine's when you found out he was going to be alone, you bought him a heart filled with chocolates, some teriyaki flavored beef jerky, and a little teddy bear who had a sticky note in his paw that said, "From your secret admirer." He recognized your handwriting anyway from all the paperwork he did. He didn't have the courage to ask you about it. He became softer, feeling bad for when he was harsh with you.
There was a time when you both got done beating the crap out of another Vulture that was terrorizing folks at the DMV that you turned and looked at him and already caught him staring. But for the first time you didn't look away. Miguel turned a deep red and cleared his throat. "Do you...um..are you hungry? We could get lunch after this?"
Your heart fluttered for a moment but you remembered that you had a boyfriend back home. If he went out on a lunch date you knew you'd feel a little jealous too.
"Oh...um..." Shit shit shit.
"I have to meet my boyfriend after this. I'm sorry..."
Miguel nodded, trying to pretend like he wasn't disappointed but it showed all over his face anyway. "Of course, of course...no worries..." he stayed silent and opened a portal back to Nueva York and walked through.
He never asked to hang out again after that.
Now, knowing your now ex-sack-of-shit boyfriend was doing you dirty anyway, you figured you wouldn't mind risking it all right now.
----
Miguel headbutts a man who was trying to rob an elderly woman. He sees an incoming call on his watch as the man lays sputtering on the ground, while the old woman fans herself in relief.
Miguel's eyebrow raised but he answered it, putting it on bluetooth. "Hello?" He throws the robber over his shoulder.
Your tear stained voice comes through on the other line. "Miguel...?"
Oh that sweet voice of yours saying his name like that. Stay calm.
"Hey..." He throws the robber in the backseat of the cop car and nods to the chief. "Aren't you still on your day off?"
"Yeah I w-was...but um..." you sniffle, more tears coming down. You just need a hug right now.
Miguel pauses. It's more obvious now you're crying. It makes him feel sadder and more concerned than he has a right to be.
"I was gonna surprise my boyfriend...I walked in and..." You can't maintain your composure.
"And what?" Miguel asks, his voice worried now. "And what? Where are you?"
"Can you just come get me please?" You cry and stutter, lip trembling. "I n-need y-you..."
Miguel's heart melts. Is it bad he's low-key celebrating this moment in his head right now?
"Of course. Send me your location. I'll be there in about 10. Do you need anything?"
"All my s-stuff is still in the apartment but he won't let me in...he kicked me out after cheating on me and told me since I never gave a shit about this relationship, he doesn't give a shit about my stuff and I can go find somewhere else to s-stay..."
Miguel feels his adrenaline rising. "I'll get your stuff for you. Don't worry about it. Let me talk to him."
"That's not necessary..." You suddenly feel nervous but a little flattered at how protective he sounds. "I d-don't want you to hurt him..." You knew he would snap him like a twig if he wanted. "Promise...?"
Miguel pauses. "I won't. I'm approaching your street right now,I think."
You look up and sure enough you see him walking briskly towards you. His heart breaks when he sees you like this, your eyes puffy, heartbreak worn all over your face.
"I'll be right back..." He starts jogging up the stairs to your apartment.
"Miguel! Just get my stuff don't worry about him! Miguel!"
He doesn't hear you. Your ex answers the door with an annoyed look on his face.
"I'm here for your girlfriend's clothes." Miguel says, the storm seething underneath the surface.
"Ah, so she sends the work side piece to get it for her, typical!"
Miguel grits his teeth. "I'm not her "side piece" as you put it. I didn't come here to fight. I'm just here to get her things and then I'll be on my way."
Your ex huffs, "I could give a shit what that bitch wants!"
Miguel clenches his fists. "Don't speak that way about her."
Your ex stands up, chest puffed out despite being overpowered by Miguel's height. "And what are you going to do about it? This is my house, motherfucker. When she gave you her sob story did she leave out the part where she spends all her free time at work and forgets about her boyfriend who put a roof over her head? What was I supposed to do?"
Not cheat, for one...Miguel's face is red with rage, trying so hard to keep his promise.
Your ex wears a shit eating grin. "Wanna hit me, big guy? Go ahead. Tell me you're a goddamn cuck without telling me."
Miguel turns to the side and blows air out of his nostrils. Shortly after there's a crash and the sound of Miguel's fist pummeling the smug look off your ex's face and the screams of his mistress when she saw the commotion.
Miguel reemerges some time later with your small pink duffle bag. "I grabbed you some sweatpants and a couple pairs of underwear. I couldn't find your toothbrush...I'm sorry."
You shake your head. "oh my God...no, it's okay. Thank you so much Miguel..." You take the bag and look through it. "What happened? What'd he say?"
Miguel looked at you with a poker face, the sight of your ex's bloody face shooting across his memory. "He honestly didn't say much."
That would be the one and only promise he ever broke to you.
Miguel took you to the department store and let you pick out any toiletries you needed. He watched you with a gentle look on his face as you tossed a toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, some makeup wipes, your skin cleanser, some lotion, pads, tampons, a couple scrunchies, chapstick, and anything else you thought you might need into the cart while he pushed it.
He paused when you got to the shampoo and conditioner, only getting the travel size. "That's all you need?" He asks.
"Yeah, it'll only be for a few days until I can go back and get the rest of my stuff."
Miguel shakes his head and puts the liter size shampoo and conditioner in the cart. "Let's get the bigger size just in case."
You look at him, puzzled.
He gives you a shy smile. "You're... you were planning on staying at my place, right?" His heart pounded on the inside.
You nod your head and try to play it off. "Y-yeah. I mean, I don't want to intrude or anything, you know?"
Miguel grins. "Not at all. I have a spare bedroom you can use." Since he's a gentleman.
You smile and nod, can't help wondering how long this sleeping arrangement will last.
After checking out and he foots the bill at his insistence, you two go back to his place. His apartment is small but sleek. It definitely screams neat freak but he's very welcoming and shows you to your room. It used to be Gabby's old room but he eventually just turned it into an unused guest room. The curtains were still pink because he didn't have the heart to take them down.
You smile and sit on the bed and he walks into the kitchen to order food and give you time to settle in.
Soon, you're sitting on the couch together, shaking your bowls from Cava and you're sipping an extra large iced tea, swirling the drink and hearing the ice cubes clatter against the plastic, humming in satisfaction.
"What should we watch?" Miguel asks, sitting back and looking over at you.
You look at him then look at the clock. "Don't you have to get back to work?"
Miguel shakes his head. "Nah. Today's about making you feel better."
You smile but feel a little guilty, "I don't want to take up too much of your time."
Miguel gives you a soft smile, "You can make it up to me another time. What movie are we watching?"
You give a soft chuckle then look at the menu he's browsing on the TV. "Ummmmm, 13 Going on 30." You answer, taking a sip.
Miguel looks at you. "You sure a chick flick is the right answer right now?"
You nod. "I like watching romantic movies when I'm going through break ups. It's very cathartic."
Miguel raises an eyebrow but puts it on at your request. "Okay... Don't say I didn't warn you..."
He ends up being right and your lip is trembling at the end. Miguel looks over at you and gives you an endearing smile. He scoots closer to you, just a bit but, you close the gap immediately and just throw yourself in his chest, crying into it. Not caring that you're just friends or this is the longest time you two have ever spent alone together, wanting nothing more than to just be held by him.
Miguel freezes, his hands in mid-air, but they gently come to rest on your shoulders. He plays with your hair, letting you cry it out in silence. His body feels warm as he holds you, as though this is where he was supposed to be this whole time.
He's just sorry he couldn't have been there sooner and you had to get your heart trampled on for it to happen eventually. He feels on top of the world, but simultaneously aches at seeing the sadness coming out of you, wishing he could absorb it from you completely.
Your breathing slows down, shuddering a little as the last of your sobs come out, and sit up and wipe your eyes. Miguel looks at you, running a thumb down your chin. He gives you a teasing grin. "Told you you'd cry."
You give a little snort. "Whatever. I just got cheated on dude, cut me some slack here."
Miguel smiles and nods. "You're right, you're right. I'm sorry..." His voice lowers a little bit. "But really, you deserve so much better than that."
You nod slowly, blowing your nose. "Thanks Miguel...I just don't get how he threw two years down the drain for some chick he just met..."
Miguel nods, tucking some hair behind your ear.
"It has nothing to do with you. Usually when people cheat, it's because there's something wrong with the one who cheated. You didn't cause this at all."
"Yeah but, maybe if I didn't work so much..."
"-Work's not an excuse," Miguel says gently, cutting you off. "You don't use anything as an excuse to hurt the ones you love. I mean if I was in his shoes..." Miguel clears his throat, "hypothetically, of course..."
A small smile forms on your face at the mention of you being his.
Miguel fumbles a little bit with his words, the facade shielding his true feelings unable to stand any longer, causing them to be painfully obvious. "....uhem, well, I definitely wouldn't hurt you like that." he said abruptly, looking away.
"If I was yours, huh?" You give him a cheeky smile, your face still puffy from tears, leaning on your elbow.
Miguel shakes his head. "We don't have to focus too much on that part... I was only giving you an example..."
"Or a suggestion....?" You ask, your stomach starting to jitter a little bit.
Miguel huffs and looks down, then looks at you again, the air becomes thick. "I was only..."
"Just admit you like me, Miguel." You say in a soft tone, your hand coming to rest on his leg.
Miguel has been waiting for this moment for months, but somehow now that it's right in front of his face, he's shy and scared as hell.
"I...." he looks at you, his jaw tensing as your eyes go half-lidded, coming to rest so subtly on his lips. "I....," he repeats. He's stuck with nowhere else to go. Your eyes are holding him captive.
He just goes for it, cupping your face with one of his hands and pulling you into a warm kiss. Your cheeks are still a little wet under his touch, but the feel of you causes him to melt away as the kiss slowly gets a little more deep, your tongues beginning to softly mold and explore the other's mouth. His lips plump and soft, his calloused hands normally rough handling your waist with careful touches as they chase your worries and your sadness away.
Miguel breaks the kiss gently for just a moment, his mouth mumbling into yours, "I wanted to do that for so long..."
You smile and hum in agreement, peppering little kisses all over his face, making him chuckle.
And so the rest of the afternoon and night was spent lazily on the couch. Watching movies and even cartoons you both loved as a kid, eventually dozing off until Miguel woke you up about 10 pm, and you both ended the night cuddled in his bed.
The alarm on his phone was set for 6:30 am the next morning so you two could have enough time for a shower and coffee before you headed to work.
You never left his side after that.
----
💓
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voidpetrova · 8 months
Text
partners in crime — klaus mikaelson x reader
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☄. *. ⋆
content warnings and genre: none in particular, requested one-shot — comfort
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
synopsis: you were as twisted as him, and he adored you for it
✧.*
in the heart of new orleans, where darkness and mystique intertwined, an unlikely partnership thrived. klaus mikaelson, the infamous hybrid vampire, had always been a force to be reckoned with. ruthless and cunning, he was known throughout the supernatural world for his audacious schemes and thirst for power.yet, even the most formidable of creatures couldn't resist the allure of a dangerous accomplice, and in this case, that partner was you.
you were no ordinary vampire. you were a heretic, a rare breed born from the unholy union of vampire and witch, wielding both the immortal strength of a vampire and the potent magic of a witch. the stories of your malevolence echoed through the centuries, leaving behind a trail of destruction and fear. klaus had first crossed paths with you in the dark, clandestine corners of the city. a chance meeting turned into a partnership fueled by a shared desire for chaos. together, you embarked on a campaign of mischief and malevolence, weaving your way through the intricate tapestry of power struggles that defined new orleans.
your alliance didn't merely thrive on bloodlust and destruction; it thrived on strategy and cunning. klaus, with his penchant for manipulation, and you, with your mastery over dark magic, were a formidable duo. you orchestrated elaborate heists, sowed discord among rival supernatural factions, and left behind a trail of baffled adversaries who underestimated the malevolence of your partnership.
one of your most audacious acts was the infiltration of a high-profile society gala, hosted by the most influential witch coven in the city. you and klaus masqueraded as guests, seamlessly blending into the crowd. as the night wore on, you unleashed a torrent of dark magic that sent chandeliers crashing, and illusions that played tricks on the minds of the attendees.
klaus reveled in the chaos you created, watching with a wicked grin as the once-coherent gathering descended into chaos and madness. It was in these moments, as you both reveled in the malevolent beauty of your actions, that he couldn't help but feel an undeniable attraction to your power and your wickedness.
as dawn broke over new orleans, you and klaus vanished into the shadows, leaving behind a city forever altered by your malevolent partnership. the world may have deemed you both as monsters, but in each other's eyes, you were the perfect accomplices, two dark souls united in their thirst for power and their love for the evil they created together.
one time, the night was draped in a velvet darkness, concealing your every move as you and klaus stood in the shadows of the mikaelson mansion. the moon, like a pale witness to your impending malevolence, cast eerie shadows across the cobblestone courtyard. klaus, his cerulean eyes dancing with anticipation, leaned in closer to you. “my dearest (y/n),” he purred, his voice dripping with honeyed menace. “tonight, we shall take another step towards our rightful dominion over this city.”
a devilish grin curved your lips as you responded, your voice laced with the promise of chaos. “i know we will. the witches have grown too comfortable, too complacent. it's time we remind them of our power.”
the plan was simple in its intricacy. you had uncovered a secret, a buried legend from new orleans' supernatural history. an ancient grimoire spoke of a powerful artifact hidden beneath the city, capable of granting unimaginable power to any who possessed it. the witches held the key to this artifact, and tonight, it would be yours.
as the mansion's clock struck midnight, you and klaus moved with preternatural grace, infiltrating the ancestral witch house where the coven held their most precious artifacts. the scent of ancient magic filled the air as you approached a cryptic door, adorned with intricate symbols. with a knowing glance, you murmured an incantation, and the door creaked open, revealing a chamber bathed in an eerie blue glow. there, resting on a pedestal, was the coveted artifact—a mystical amulet, pulsating with power.
klaus's eyes widened as he beheld the object of their desire. “remarkable,” he breathed, reaching out to touch it. but you halted him with a firm hand. “not so fast,” you cautioned. “the amulet is protected by ancient enchantments. we must proceed with caution.”
together, you unraveled the intricate web of magic guarding the amulet. each step was perilous, as one wrong move could unleash catastrophic consequences. the air crackled with energy as you manipulated the spells, your heretic abilities and klaus's vampiric strength intertwining seamlessly.
at last, the final barrier fell, and klaus gingerly lifted the amulet from its pedestal. power radiated from it, coursing through his veins. “now, my dear,” he declared, his voice trembling with a heady mix of excitement and greed, “we'll be ruling this city in no time.”
but just as klaus marveled at the amulet, a voice echoed through the chamber—a disembodied whisper that sent shivers down your spine. “you have awakened the darkness,” it intoned. “prepare to face the consequences.”
the room quaked, and the walls seemed to close in on you. you and klaus exchanged frantic glances as the amulet's power threatened to consume you both. it was a perilous gamble, one that could either solidify your reign or bring about your doom. and as the chamber trembled around you, you and him clung to the amulet, your fate uncertain. but in this moment of chaos and uncertainty, your partnership burned brighter than ever, a beacon of malevolence in the heart of the supernatural world.
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coralinnii · 1 year
Note
Hi! I just wanna say I love your villain/ness au 😍 especially leonas part thank you for giving me this story as I was finding stories like this💕💕so I was wondering can I request about the tweel? Their my most favorite in twisted wonderland 🙏 it will be my outmost joy to see you write them!
and sorry if im wrong in writing this request because this is actually my first time writing a request 😅 so thank you for the understanding 😁
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Being Reincarnated into a New World as the Bad Guy feat: Jade genre: drama note: set in the same universe as previous works (Azul’s ver specifically), no pronouns were used, villain/ess!reader is not a merfolk, roughly 2k word count 
series masterlist
I know there's someone missing but Jade's portion got longer than I expected so I cutting it into separate posts. Floyd's part will be released soon so in the meantime, enjoy as we welcome the fourth vice-housewarden to this surprisingly popular AU.
Sorry 3aemidnight, that this is slightly subverted from the request but Floyd's part has that aspect more played into
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You’re screwed. Absolutely screwed. Why did you end up in this situation?? You didn’t even read the webtoon! Your classmate was gushing over a popular webtoon and like a good friend, you lent an ear to her excited ramblings. Her favorite characters seem to be a pair of devilish merfolk brothers. It was that rambling that helped you realize where you were because you didn’t bother remembering the main cast but you couldn’t forget the name “Jade Leech” nor his partner, you. 
Or at least the character you possessed that your classmate kept wishing she could be. The lucky duck that became Jade’s betrothed but you couldn’t really agree with that sentiment when she mentioned how that same partner was left behind by the Leech heir and prosecuted as an accomplice to the Leech family’s underground activities. 
“What’s so great about the hopeless love trope?!” 
Unfortunately, the proceedings for your engagement to the suave marquis heir was set. Putting a wrench into the plans now would cause too many issues to both families. Still, you were determined to leave this crazy story unscathed no matter what. 
“Let’s make a contract” were your first words to your soon-to-be partner to which he responded with a curious quirk of his eyebrow. “a prenuptial to be precise” 
“But my dear,” a shiver ran down your spine when Jade used that supposedly endearing name, a superficial one of course. “What ever could have scared you to have such worries?” 
“Because I know what you and your family are trying to do” 
Oh, you have piqued Jade’s interest now.
Your listening skills have paid off as you remembered the plot of the Leech family. The brothers were working to extend their family’s power above the waters and to have an “organized system of connections” with the help of the newly appointed count Ashengrotto. With their intelligence and charm, they wanted to monopolize the marine market from local fishing rights to overseas trading. Unfortunately, the main leads stood in their way and forced the native merfolk to flee to their home, leaving those associated with them to answer for their crimes. 
You have no interest in being caught in the crossfire but becoming an enemy to the Leech family is not a favourable situation either. So your best option was… 
“I’ll help you” 
If you’re going to be accused as an accomplice, better be the best accomplice so neither of you get caught. 
The greatest challenge for merfolk on land was the discrimination that was still prevalent, even after the human-merfolk alliance. No matter how charming Jade was, it was hard for the merman to converse with the more narrow-minded noblemen. It was why the Leech heir agreed to the engagement as your family was beloved and highly respected in the kingdom. Your character was just an oblivious, lovestruck pawn to his plans. 
“I’ll play the perfect partner, give you the backing you need, the intel you want” you stated your terms, with no room for negotiation. “But, we’re publicly in an arranged engagement only, nothing else. We only meet when necessary and once your family secure the Triton ocean trade route, we’re breaking our engagement and never to speak to each other again” 
If the Leech family weren’t caught, they would have returned to their native home anyway and controlled the trading from the safety of the ocean. Either way, Jade would have been out of your life regardless, so you should at least escape prosecution. 
You weren’t falling for his gentleman facade, and you definitely refuse to be the one on the short end of the stick in his crazy family’s schemes. 
You and Jade were locked in a silent stare down, waiting for either one of you to break the silence. You kept your mouth shut, not letting your nerves talk yourself down. It was this or nothing. 
Your gamble paid off. Jade chuckled with a slight peek of his sharp teeth and extended his hand out, piercing your figure with a pair devilish eyes. 
“If that is what my dear wishes, how can I decline?” 
So sealed your deal with the devil your future ex-fiancé 
Some time passed since your agreement, you joined a soirée your family was invited to. As a newly engaged couple, it was expected for you to bring Jade to which he was happy to escort his precious person (you hid your scoff). True to your word, you agree to chat with some of the daughters and wives of certain families for certain intel that Jade needed. While the ladies were more tolerant of the merfolk, they held certain prejudices over them which would affect the conversation greatly should Jade attempt to speak with them. 
So off you go. 
It was surprisingly easy with the chatty ladies to gather what you needed to know. They were happy to brag about the wealth and connections their families had and the businesses they controlled. The number of employers, the unknowing dissatisfaction of their workers that went over their heads, the obvious limited knowledge over the sea routes…everything came loose from their lips and will inevitably be used against them later on. Once you mentally checked off what Jade requested you to find out, you were patiently waiting to take your leave when someone decided to steer the conversation to something else. 
“But enough about our families. How is your life as a newly betrothed, darling?” One of the wives brought the attention to you, which took you slightly by surprise. 
“Well, our families were growing close so we decided a union would be beneficial” you smiled as convincing as you could. “While we were arranged, I’m sure it will be an amiable alliance” 
“Oh, how lucky you are” one of the younger daughters congratulated as convincingly as her eyelashes were. “To be engaged to someone as distinguished and exotic as Jade Leech, your family connections must have been more impressive than I realize. I knew how enamored you were with the young heir, but to think a frumpy wallflower such as yourself managed to capture him. Good for you” 
Any semblance of tolerance you had for these women had just been thrown out the window. Even if you were detached from your host character in every sense, you felt anger building in your body from their haughty words. You quickly glanced to where Jade was and he was standing but with his signature smile and charming eyes engaging in conversation with other attendees, so you assumed he couldn’t hear from where he stood.
It’s not good to hold in your anger… so you don’t. 
“Interesting…if I’m a frumpy wallflower as you say, what would you be?” You pondered aloud with innocent tone of voice “bottom feeders?” 
Gasps and stuttering replies were let out from the flushing women, flabbergasted by your undignified words, but they haven’t heard anything yet. 
“Before my engagement, I often chatted with the current Marquis Leech and he was telling me how he was flooded by persistent engagement proposals for his heir that there wasn’t a day that a messenger wouldn’t visit the Leech residence.” 
That was a bold-faced lie about your meetings with the Marquis head but you recalled your classmate’s words of the mountains of proposals the Leech brothers would get, proving their in-universe popularity despite being discriminated against. Well, it’s not as though anyone would question your source, you were engaged to a Leech afterall.
The wives may have been confused but the younger ladies were visibly shaking as they watched you with nervous eyes, either praying you didn’t know the families that proposed or if you did, you’d keep silent over it. 
But you offer no such salvation from their humiliation 
“Out of the countless proposals, I seem to have been chosen over the ones who reached out first. In fact, some of the interested ladies are here in attendance today, such as Lady-“ 
You paused abruptly as you quickly back away as one of the single daughters reached for a drink and prepared to throw it into your face in desperation to avoid being exposed. Seems like you pushed a line too far. You closed your eyes, braced for a rude splash…
but nothing came. 
Surprised muttering and gasps compelled you to reopen your eyes but you were met with a lean chest and tall looming figure blocking you from the women. You leaned to the side and was shocked to see a large wet spot on Jade's pristine suit jacket, his back and shoulder drenched in champagne. You peeked at Jade's face as he wore his signature smile, appearing calm but you could have swore his jaw seemed more tight and strained as though he’s fighting something internally. 
Maybe you’re just reading too much into it. 
Any semblance of annoyance you thought you saw disappeared the moment the eel merman turned to face the ladies before. He placed his gloved hand over his heart and smiled as usual. 
“I believe this conversation may have gone on too long. Everyone is getting a little too tired and reckless. Perhaps we should cut the night short tonight, do you agree?” Jade proceeded to rest his hand on your shoulder, looking at you with faux concern. “Shall we take our leave, my dear?” 
Stomping down the involuntary shiver, you nodded and turned to walk away without saying goodbye to the ladies or even waited for Jade to walk with you. At least Jade had some strength to offer a bow and a smile before joining you. However, you didn't notice the way the ladies silently flinched in fear when they saw the dangerous glint in the young merman's mismatched eyes.
“I never realized you had such a fiery tongue,” Jade commented as the two of you make your way to your carriage, to which you clicked your tongue in annoyance. 
“So you were able to hear everything” you chose to change the topic. “You better not say anything to your father about what I said today. I needed to use an excuse” 
“You needn’t worry, my dear. I’m simply impressed you knew about the proposal letters.” Jade ended his words there, but you knew he was curious to know your sources, especially since it pertains to the ongoings in the Leech residence. 
“I heard some things, that’s all I’ll say” you held your tongue beyond that, your eyes relaying to Jade not to prod further, which he conceded. 
“Of course. I would never want to upset you, my dear.” Jade smiled at the slight shiver in your shoulders. 
“Alright, my turn to ask questions” you stopped in your tracks, forcing Jade to do the same, enticing his curiosity as you always seem to. Your eyes stared at the stained jacket that hung over Jade's arm, having taken it off to avoid the rest of his attire getting dirty. A sense of guilt pinched your heart as you questioned him, “Why did you save me? Sure, I’ll be slightly humiliated but I can just play the victim and ruin them further” 
Jade silently stood in his spot, as though he was seriously contemplating his previous actions. But you doubt that because Jade Leech does not do things impulsively. He’s calculating, his movements always premeditated and intentional. 
Right?
Then, the ocean-haired man slowly walked closer to you. Carefully, he reached out his gloved hand towards your cheek and wiped a small drop of champagne from your hairline. A minuscule drop must have made its way to your face without your awareness. But Jade noticed. The cold leather glided from your forehead to your ear, to which he crept closer as he leaned down and whispered to you. 
“We made a deal, my dear” his smooth voice vibrated clearly into your head and your instinctive shiver came once more from his name for you. “I plan to make good use of you and I will not permit anyone from ruining you before I’m done” 
You sealed your fate with Jade, so you must commit to the end.
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yuurei20 · 3 months
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Hello!
Bit of a dumb question
I wanted to know if it was ever mentioned anywhere that Jade ate his siblings.. My sister keeps saying he said that he ate everyone but kept Floyd bc he looked like he'd be funny or something. I've never seen this mentioned before and I wanna prove her wrong
Hello hello!! ^^ Thank you for this question!
“Jade ate his siblings” is one of many unproven fan theories, based on a number of comments in the game that might be hints about something that may or may not have happened!
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The theory goes that Jade and Floyd hatched from eggs (moray eels can lay up to 10,000 eggs at once in real life, though in-game is unspecified) at approximately the same time.
Jade then selected Floyd as the one sibling he would spare, and ate the rest. (The reason why he chose Floyd is technically not specified.)
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This is based on many things that can be found throughout the game, such as this cryptic comment from Jade: “I’m glad I chose you as my partner when we were but little elvers.”
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Floyd responds, “Not sure what that smile’s for, but I’m glad we survived together, too,” which may insinuate that if something did happen, Floyd might not know what it was.
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Jade also says, “there are five in my family at present.” One interpretation of this line is that their family used to be larger, and might get even smaller in the future, but five is where they are at now. 
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The more optimistic side of EN fandom will sometimes theorize that maybe their mother is pregnant and there will actually be a new addition to the family soon rather than a loss, but we have been given a surprising amount of information about how common it is for people to go missing in the Coral Sea, with otherwise zero hints that they will soon be getting between 1 and 10,000 new siblings.
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The evidence used for the “hatched from eggs” part of the theory comes from Floyd insisting that neither he nor Jade are any older or younger than the other.
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This might seem vague in English, where which twin of two was technically born first might not come up very often, but in Japanese one twin being born first would mean that one of them would refer to the other as something like “nii-san,” like Ortho does with Idia, or "aniki," as Ace does with his brother and Leona does with Falena.
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(For a real-world example I recommend referring to the Twitter account of Jamil’s voice actor, Futaba Kaname. He has (弟) in his username for “little brother,” while his identical twin Yuu has (兄) in his username for “older brother.”)
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But neither Jade nor Floyd refer to one another as “nii-san," "aniki" or anything but their first names.
While “bro” or “brother” will sometimes be added to their dialogue on EN neither twin has ever actually called the other “brother” in their original dialogue, because the Japanese language makes you specify older or younger (an age-neutral word for “brother” doesn’t really exist) and, as Floyd says outright in the game, neither he nor Jade are any older or younger than the other.
This makes sense if they both hatched from eggs at approximately the same time, rather than being born like mammals.
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Another point that is often referenced in the “Jade and Floyd: Dead Siblings” topic is how, on the subject of ghosts they have seen, both twins mention seeing people on Halloween that looked strikingly like each other, only to realize that they weren’t. 
Floyd: “I once thought I saw Jade in three different places at once.”
The theory goes that they saw the ghosts of their dead siblings.
This may or may not be considered evidence of how the twins might have had other siblings at one point and something happened to them, but even if so, it could have just been a Finding-Nemo style incident with a barracuda or something similar.
So why do people point to Jade as the perpetrator?
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(Maybe irrelevant, but Rook’s nickname for Jade in the original game is, “Monsieur Premeditated Crime.”)
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Jade is a heavy eater, on par with Sebek (another thing they have in common is they have both threatened to eat Grim), saying that people are often surprised by how much he eats.
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Jade says this is because his “fuel efficiency is lacking” (low blood pressure?).
Floyd is aware of this and seems to go to extra lengths to make sure Jade eats properly, encouraging him to relax and fetching food for him during Halloween.
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The original meaning of Jade’s unique magic is, “the tooth that takes out a bite,” so this is definitely a theme with him.
And his official, disliked food? Eel.
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To the original question: no, there is not a definitive line in the game that states “Jade ate his siblings” that we can point to as proof that it actually, canonically happened.
But we do have many cryptic lines that might possibly be insinuating that a infamously hungry Jade chose Floyd as the one sibling he would spare and ate the rest, Floyd may not know it happened, and Jade might be actively choosing not to tell him 🐬
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