#they're allowed to look like normal people

[drdemonprince]

I'd really like to enjoy sex parties (I know many autistic people do), but the few that I've attended have been really loud (mostly from music) and overstimulating even with hearing protection. As a horny person who has trouble with loud noise, I feel like I'm SOL. I'd like to put on a sensory-friendly sex party (sry, no better word), but have no idea where to start. How could I go about this?

This is a great idea! I'd really hit the local Fetlife groups and local Munches for the next couple of months, chatting people up and gauging interest. Since you've been invited to sex parties before, that suggests you're already fairly well plugged into the community or know how to become plugged in in the area where you currently are, so do a bit of that for a while, and if it's a big enough scene, ask if people might be interested in a neurodivergent-friendly munch or meetup first. Maybe outside in a quiet natural area or at a really low-key cafe that's affordable and not crowded and where using stim toys or knitting/playing board games/etc is all normal to see.

Getting people to turn out to a sex party and be a good time definitely requires a little bit of social lubricating for a while first, if only so that you know who you want to invite and who sucks and might make people uncomfortable.

Check out local queer spaces too -- here there's a sober cafe that holds lots of evening events for LGBTQ people who don't drink, and that tends to attract a lot of neurodivergent folks and sensory sensitive people as well. Some of them might be way to vanilla for a sex party but there's always a few genuine phreaks out there. Events and groups at a local LGBTQ center or the like can also work, or just other recurring community spaces that attract a lot of queer people. Local Meetup.com groups for Adult Autistics would be a good place to look around, too.

Once you've gotten the chance to suss out who might be cool within a variety of little pockets of your local communities, then you're ready to organize it and make the ask! I think a good sex party can't be too open-invite, especially when you want to control the experience from an accessibility perspective. But by the time you are inviting someone in this case, you've met them probably multiple times, know one another on social media (or at least Fet), and know that they're neurodivergent or into the idea of a sensory-friendly sex party, and so you'll have a good idea that they're a good fit.

I'm sure you've already envisioned how you want this party to go -- low lights, quiet down rooms, soft music, etc. I'd also consider having some kind of wristband system that allows people to communicate how they want to be engaged with -- green meaning go ahead and come up to me and inititiate/touch me, yellow meaning ask first for anything, red meaning leave me alone i'm just here to watch for now, or whatever. Probably make people put stickers on their cameras. Etc.

Good luck out there and let me know how it goes! I promise this isn't that huge of an undertaking. I know I probably made it sound like a lot, but it's really just popping up at a variety of events for a little bit and trying to find the Autistic weirdos and friend them.

[winterlogysblog]

SIXTUS HEADCANONS TO FEED THE VOID

- Sixtus is the fastest flyer between him, Belte, and Tioreh, they regularly have racing competitions.

- Sixtus is not a hugger, if you try to hug him you'll get punched or slapped, only family and a selected few can hug him, Mertyl and Diane hugs him the most, and Ban when he's drunk.

- One time when they were playing hide and seek, Sixtus hid in Diane's pigtails, he won that round, Phao cried because they couldn't find him.

- He knows that his father and Auntie were once wingless like he is but he can't help but still be insecure about it since Belte and Tioreh have theirs already and he gets mistaken for a human quite a lot whenever he goes outside of the Fairy Realm which annoys him a bit.

- He gets along with Belte really well but sometimes Belte is just way too chill for his liking "Dude, do you ever get serious?"

- When he's bored he would braid the girls' hair, the kids worked together to braid Diane's hair, it turned out uneven but it looked cute.

- Trains with Mertyl and Lancelot quite a lot, they would take turns being the referee and would keep tabs on each other's scores, it's a rule that heart reading is not allowed but there are rare instances when Sixtus and Lancelot would spar with each other with heart reading, which is always fun because it goes on forever.

- When he first received Magliastria he was quite clumsy with it. King guided him through it all and training became a really special bonding moment between the two of them.

- Has a habit of talking to King through heart reading whenever it's just the two of them. (He does this with Lance too)

- Sometimes Lance and Sixtus would look at somebody and give each other looks and they would just start laughing. People assume they're making fun of them but that's not true, they do this just to mess with people.

- Sixtus has a pretty high alcohol tolerance and he also knows how to pace himself really well, most of the time he's one of the last people left sober and would remember all of the shit the others did when they're all drunk and use that information for blackmail later on. (he's a bit of a rascal)

- When Sixtus does get drunk, he sings and it's good singing too but for some reason, he sings only in a minor key, even if the song is originally fun and upbeat he'll make it sad and depressing. He has made multiple people in taverns cry.

- Sixtus likes to get high, like high as a kite. It's one of his favorite bonding moments with Belte. Meliodas and Ban questioned King why he was letting his kids smoke that much at such a young age. King just said that it's normal for fairies to smoke and they're mentally mature enough that it'll be fine.

- High Sixtus is not that different from regular Sixtus, high Sixtus just giggles, laughs a lot, and is twice as mean.

- Sixtus has frequent conversations with Escanor (Tristan's Horse) sometimes Lancelot joins in.

- Sixtus sparred with Lancelot in the Liones Training grounds this one time. Guila was there, it gave her PTSD.

- Kicked Chion in the nuts on more than one occasion, it's Chion's fault for annoying him.

- Loves napping on trees, the more uncomfortable it looks the better the nap.

#these are all i have for now #Sixtus #my bby boy #please be okay #nanatsu no taizai #four knights of the apocalypse #nanatsu no taizai headcanons #Sixtus Headcanons #4kota #nnt #seven deadly sins #mokushiroku no yonkishi #mokushiroku no yon kishi #nanatsu no taizai mokushiroku no yonkishi

[luciusswimminglessons]

I really love how What We Do In The Shadows doesn't make their actors dehydrate and work themselves for months just to do a shirtless scene. Colin Robinson had a shirtless scene in the orgy, and Nandor has had a few, and they look like normal healthy people. Nandor you can tell is in shape, but he has a healthy layer of fat, which is just so great to see! Wish other shows would take note

#it's just nice to see hydrated actors #they're allowed to look like normal people #i really appreciate it #what we do in the shadows #wwdits #Nandor

[thedreadvampy]

The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.

It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.

#red said #i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life #my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me #like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy. #anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is. #but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was #like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it #i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen. #I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles #and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences #and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma #obviously microtraumas build up but still. #then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma #is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING #told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip #and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain #until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position #and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific #and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with #like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex #out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage? #and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh #so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea #that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting. #like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.

[perhaps-mr-collins-has-a-cousin]

Hello praying people, I'm not doing well and would really appreciate your prayers right now <3

#long very boring and unnecessarily detailed tag monologue incoming‚ feel free to skip: #this is going to sound like a silly thing to be hitting rock bottom over #but i’m fairly certain i have a semi-rare skin condition known as sensitive skin syndrome #which is basically where skin gets progressively more sensitive #until it won’t tolerate the topical application of anything at all without getting irritated #usually it happens to people on the skin of their face and i have it there but i also specifically have it on my lips #(which apparently is extremely not normal; i found a dermatologist’s case study from like 2019 of one woman who had it on her lips #and according to this case study there were no other cases of people having it on their lips #in all the dermatological literature he had read) #i can’t follow the protocol which all the journal articles i’ve been able to find say is helpful for the rest of the face which is basicall #leave the area the heck alone for at least a year #because if i don’t apply anything to my lips for more than two or three days they will get so dry they crack and bleed #so it’s looking like one way or another i may be having to deal with dry burning irritated lips for the rest of my life #and i’m not dealing with the thought of that very well #i’ve already suffered so much anguish from extreme sensitivity on the rest of my face #and not being able to take proper care of the skin there #and this is just too much for me #i know God is allowing this for a reason but it’s filling me with so much frustration and panic and despair that i don’t know how to go on #but i must and i will #this isn’t a serious or a life-threatening condition but it’s looking like a pretty hopeless one and it’s hurting me badly #and i would appreciate prayers that it would just be healed or that i would know what to do #i think i will try going to my dermatologist but somehow i doubt she's even heard of sensitive skin syndrome #on a COMPLETELY unrelated note i'm just about to get my period and also for two days i've ''eaten'' nothing but vegetable smoothies #and those in pretty small amounts because they're disgusting #(do a detox my hormonal health doctor said) #(it'll be fun she said) #ok if you read this far you're so brave braver than any u.s. marine etc. #thanks for reading ily <3

[lyxchen]

When you feel weird saying your favorite actors name out loud when talking to your parents or friends because it feels like it's going to reveal how deeply obsessed you actually are

#oh how often i have said to my parents #'it's a movie with that actor i like' #because i am afraid if i say 'david tennant' i will also add 'the prettiest most gorgeous funniest guy who is so lovely and if i met him i #would probably hyperventilate and i think about him probably too much because he's just an actor but also Look At Him!!' #you know #normal fangirl stuff #i have a theory that this is either some sort of weird ocd thing deep inside of me like how for a few months i was very afraid that people #could hear my thoughts and so i never allowed myself to think strange or very personal things with many people around #or this is because other people have made me feel like i can't talk about my interests because they're so intense that they find them #annoying #or it's because i don't want my parents to think i have a crush on him because i don't and also i'm gay so like no crush potential this is #completely different emotion which i can't explain especially not my parents so i'd rather they not find out how cool i think he is #but also they probaly know because they got me 10th doctor merch for christmas without me even asking for it and my mom also said that #she noticed that he's my favorite actor which is fine it's toatally fine i'm so cool about this #any so yeah anyways #didn't think i'd analize myself that much tonight but here we are #david tennant you have to honor of recieving the title of 'that one actor i like' which is much more important than it might sound #good night #lea's random thoughts

[protoindoeuropean]

So, he has a new series out so I was reminded of my obsession with Ding Yuxi again and in watching some YT video about the new series I was again struck by how fascinating it is to me how different his looks can be. For example, when I watched the first series with him in the main role (The Romance of Tiger and Rose; which yes, I'll readily admit, I agreed to watch in a large part because I saw him on the poster and was like, well, I wouldn't mind seeing more of this 😏), there were two ~versions of him – in the historical and the modern setting:

And like yeah they all wear those wigs in historical dramas so that's not particularly remarkable, right. Little did I know that this was just a tiny tip of the iceberg

Because then when I went to look him up afterwards on YT etc. and the first pictures I saw were these:

about which I was at first like, is that even him? Like the face is just ... not the same in these? But ok, what do I know, anyway ... And then I watched an interview where he has yet another different look, and that seemed kind of in between, so that "bridged the gap" in a way. And then! – in that same interview – they juxtaposed him with another of his earlier looks:

and it's like, who tf is this person ?

It's just, idk, really amazing how much just different hairstyles, lighting, makeup, accessories will do. Obsessed

Other interview looks are nothing extreme

And obviously there's supposed to be more variety when looking at the different roles

But still, sometimes I'm just like, this is one person .....

And like, sure, these looks obviously aren't impossibly different, but comparing the different ends of the spectrum can be pretty wild

In any case, the one that brought all of this about was this latest one:

and idk at this point I shouldn't be surprised anymore. And yet ...

Anyway, I do actually love his acting too lmao

It really is ... delectable 😌

#his gay little mannerisms #(they're not actually gay but i choose to see them that way 😌) #sometimes he'll just move his hands a certain way or tilt his head or pull an expression or do smth with his eyes or ... #and i'll be there all hnnnnnnhg 🫦 #in the new series apparently he's a part-cat detective #looking forward to the physicality of that already 😌 #i really have never before been this fascinated by how different someone can look #like i would say it's just me but honestly i don't think it is #bc most people usually don't change their hair quite that much! for one thing #but ofc with a face like that you can do whatever and it'll look good #anyway sorry for this long post #there are so many more good pics! and i only included one heavily lesbian-coded one smh there are more #so yeah just ... allow me to not be normal abt him for a sec #and this is it i've gotten it out of my system for a while at least #j #dyx #ding yuxi #eta: i did start watching the series and the physicality *is* 😙👌 #i could just watch him forever #like 🕵️

[arsonist-chicken]

I got to look at the room in the dormitory and now I'm torn between taking it and running, or maybe taking a bit more time to find something... less really cramped and where the washing machine doesn't smell sour, somehow

#and i have to decide today help #like yeah my flatmates are awful and I hate them and am in a bad mood whenever they're home #but they're usually gone on the weekends so at least I'm alone then #there's Something weird about the dormitory I looked at but I can't put my finger on it. apart from the awful smell in the laundry room #but I mean I could take my laundry to a laundromat if I really didn't want to use that washing machine I guess #there's shared kitchens there too but oh well i've done that before #but by god am I looking forward to living alone after university #all I want is a flat with enough space for a large bed or a pull-out couch for when friends visit #and ideally a balcony and cats allowed #mine #jess' flatmate rants #am I being too picky? all student rooms are very small and shared kitchens and bathrooms are normal #what really threw me off was the washing machine ngl #aaah maybe that's another thing: my old dorm was bigger so more anonymous #this one has a kitchen for 8-10 people #i'm not very social; I don't want to be friends with the people in my dorm; I want to be alone and left alone when I'm at home #anyway. guess I have that to consider for the next hour or so #aah Vse Kar Vem came up and I'm crying again; wonderful #also you know those days when anyone talking in the same room as you makes you want to murder them? i'm on like week two or three of that #with no stop and idk why and what's wrong; send help #ngl maybe my problem is less with the dorm itself and more that I literally can't imagine a good future for myself right now #where I get to not live either in my childhood bedroom forever or only ever with flatmates which. I'm never moving in with strangers again #and I have no friends I could move in with who would want that or don't already live with their boyfriends

[nostalgia-tblr]

Thor: Ragnarok is the best Thor movie and you can tell because nobody ever tries to make a desperate claim for prestige and reflected quality by calling it "Shakespearean," they just say they enjoyed it and they liked the jokes.

#thor ragnarok #“oh but ragnarok made the characters look silly” jan. jan. JAN. look at what they're wearing jan. look at the sets. recalibrate the sensors #i don't WANT to start sentences with “so with your vast experience and knowledge of Elizabethan/Jacobean English drama -” #or rather i do WANT i just DON'T (because one of them probably CAN name another early modern dramatist and i'd get that one for sure) #i KNOW they don't talk like the 16th century because i can actually understand the shite they're attempting to convey #also maybe you could look up when “the Viking Age” was and then when Will S was writing his dialogues. (i'll wait.) #“oh but they're in 21st century movies so they wouldn't -” YES EXACTLY. #they talk like characters from low-accuracy historical novels WHICH IS FINE but the genre-blindness on here bugs me :| #they talk more 'normal' in ragnarok and that's a good decision which i support fully (and also i enjoyed it and i liked the jokes) #and something about class and education and Literature and what we're 'allowed' to like and how SF is generally looked down upon #to the point where people who should know better insist on saying a film they like is actually more like a thing with much more prestige #i wouldn't put MUCH money on “i bet these film-makers explained how It's Not Reallly Science Fiction Though” but i'd put a wee bit on it #thor movies

[adore-gregor]

study smart not hard (altough both is best actually) this saying is so true

#my advice #but this saying is sooo true #i know some people at uni who study for exam so long and hard but then fail or just barely make it :( #like what are you doing? i don't mean this in a mean way but it doesn't have to be this difficult #i don't understand how some people can study for an exam for 2 weeks or even a month and still fail and i don't think they're stupid #or i don't see myself as particulary smart #but i guess they just waste their time a lot and i realized studying effective is so important #now everyone is a bit different and has to find what works best for them but there are certain techniques which are proven to work well #there is so much information on the internet on this look it up seriously #it made my life sm easier i never struggled in uni like i did in school and i get good grades #and if i ever struggled a bit it was because i started so late it was almost impossible to pass 😂 #which is why to do both is still best 😂 #but i actually always made it and i never failed an exam at uni (which i studied for) #(two i was fooled into to just try without studying bc it's easy lol) #i mean i shouldn't speak too soon but i already made it through some of the most difficult of my studies #ofc it depends on what you study how well this works but i'm speaking for myself #i once passed an exam with a B studying only 2 days as one of the best students while others studied 2 weeks #and got worse grades or failed #still studying only 2 days is stupidity don't do it 😅 #so the techniques i find very helpful are ofc exam questions probably the best one #if there are none make your own #then blurting for which there are different ways but i like to just go over a topic and then write down everything i remember #then fill the gaps #quizlet is also great it's an app which allows you to create cards and then tests you in creative ways #videos can be helpful as well for summaries and using summaries in general is normally enough it saves you sm time #normally you don't actually need to know everything but you should be careful it's not a bad summary leaving out too much 😅 #and i also like mindmaps bc i'm a very visual person #but all those tipps are mostly for remembering information so it doesn't work so well for other fields of study #well i hope this is somewhat helpful idk 🙈 #oh and reading texts over and over again is the most useless in my opinion i don't remember much at all and it takes sm time

[simptasia]

sometimes i see somebody say an actor is ugly and i can't help but wonder if that person has ever been on a bus

#tv/movie ugly and real life ugly are two very different things #some of these kinda weird looking character actors would knock everybody at the bank out of the park #partly because part of being a good actor is having an innate charisma and excellent facial control #what im saying doesn't apply as much to british tv than american. because people in british media #are more consistently allowed to look like real people #thats where the ''All English People Have Bad Teeth'' stereotype comes from #babe it's just that most english actors arent treated like glossy malleable products. so they're Allowed to look like themselves #many of which happen to have crooked teeth. which isnt a bad thing you sad brainwashed bastards #straight milk white teeth are less normal than you think #anyways. im not saying you can't find somebody ugly. of course you can. beauty is subjective. im just thinking out loud

[daydadahlias]

as much as I adore getting content of my favorite artists and seeing what they’re up to, I do think we as a society could move past this whole “filming/photographing celebrities like they’re little zoo animals placed in public for our amusement” thing we’ve got going on

#am i allowed to say this #is this a ~hot take~ #idk it's smthn i think abt a fair bit #like people zooming in on blurry photos to see celebrities in the backgrounds of normal people posts #like we do understand they r human beings right #we havent forgotten that little tid bit #i will ALWAYS think of the photo of ashton at his hotel pool and all the comments being like 'omg not him being at the POOL' #yes him being at the pool at his hotel #like. a human. #i also think SO MUCH of that one fucking woman #who took a photo of ashton at his hotel to bring down to a bunch of people CAMPING OUT AT THIER HOTEL #to be like 'look they're here' #like wtf #ok this is my bit for the night <3

[lemoncake438]

How do u know if its love or mental illness?

#I'm so fucked up in the head #so glad I have therapy later #love #bpd #bipolar #fawn response #like ugh I am so fucking afraid of myself #I take a look at my past 3 relationships and I have absolutely devastated all three of them and I don't want to hurt anyone else #but I'm literally 3 for 3 in the ruining lives department and like okay yeah 1 and 2 eventually got over it and moved on but what if 3 #never does? I mean I guess its all so new and raw but like I feel so awful. I feel like I'm never allowed to love again until I can like #not hurt people? but I think we are all always gonna hurt people. ugh love is so stupid I wish I could just turn it off!! #I wish I could just rip it out of my chest and fucking kill fucking beat the shit out of my heart so it never dares to feel or want again #and then I get surprised when I tell people that and they look at me like they're going to cry #why in the world should I be allowed to love?? when it clearly does so much damage?? #and then its worse right because then when I love someone I google the symptom of every fucking mental illness imaginable. bpd. bipolar. #adhd. autism. you name it I've searched it. and like I have bipolar so then I start invalidating my own love. I tell myself things like #oh youre just manic and thats making you think that this person is in love with you. oh you're just manic you think you are the center of #everyone's universe. oh you're just manic you aren't actually happy around them they just enable your ugly illness #and then like the things in question that are making me think this as like totally valid and normal things #like oh you're just manic you think they love you- my brother in christ they remember the smallest details about me and always know how to #make me laugh. we can't lock eyes longer than a few seconds before we both smile etc etc etc #but then it gets analytical- you know? bc then my brain is like ok we have to disprove our own personal bartholomuel that nafty brainworm #but you cant logically analyze something like love I don't think #right and then like I'm so deep in this hole of analyzing I start running the simulations of all the damage I'll do if/when it ends poorly #because I'm a piece of shit and I always always always go stir crazy and lose myself in it and panic and try to run and then bury my own #personality and wants and needs bc I want so badly to be loved I subconsciously shape shift myself into their ideal partner #right okay so then I'm minmaxing it- I'm speed running the imaginary relationship in my brain start to finish every single day and living #in a fake scenario where we break up every single day thousands and thousands of times over and none of that even happened #its like- because I have to prove to myself that its pure and genuine love and not mental illness or attachment or pure lust allows this #evil part of my brain to just take over and go hog wild torturing me with all these awful situations that don't even exist!!

[christakisbang]

hey can't believe this needs to be said but please don't repost my gifs on any platform <3 thank you <3

#why would u even use gifs for a TIKTOK edit they're not optimized for that app it barely looks good #u could go into people's asks and find out exact video timestamps and get screen recordings like it makes no sense to me!!! #anw...i never watermark bc i dont think anyone cares enough but evidently. i still wont but like pls be normal #some creators do allow reposts and thats great but have the decency to ask!!!!!!! and be okay with a no!!!!

[queerstudiesnatural]

.

#tw transphobia #terrified by the current state of things regarding transphobia #the amount of n*zi groups that just show up nowadays in the streets like it's normal #the shootings and other hate crimes #the way transphobic rhetoric is so normalised people everywhere feel entitled to spew it wherever and whenever #i think it's been a while since it's been politically correct to hate a certain group of people and be vocal about it #and now people are allowed to hate trans people and they're lapping it up #they're having a ball of a time finally being able to be hateful and violent with impunity #they're hiding behind concern for the kids but really they're just relieved to have an outlet for their rage at the state of the world #(re the economic and climate crisis plus covid and general chaos because there's too much going on) #people are scared and confused and they're lashing out and they're thrilled to have people to lash out at directly #and That's what's scaring the shit out of me #this is just the beginning #we are looking at a rapidly approaching wave of legalised genocide #targeted genocide not of a nation but of queer people worldwide #barely 80 years after the last genocide of the kind took place #many people who lived through the last one are still alive #we never learn we just never learn

[beskad]

not me re-watching the barbie movie and bawling my eyes out at the scene where Margo Robbie is sitting on the bus bench and watching the world around her because it's like. I know it's not exactly what they're going for, but just, that scene breaks me?? because of that sense of being a total stranger to the world, only really seeing it for the first time as a grown-ass adult and feeling so separated, so alienated from it, watching people and their range of human emotions and relationships, the awe and confusion and wonder and this strange new empathy for them and myself?? I just sob

#tw trauma mention in tags #sobs in 20 years of childhood trauma and isolation LOLLLOL #I'll never forgive my parents for the things they did to me #(of course to forgive them they'd have to be sorry and they're not so they can get fucked) #to this day i sometimes don't feel fully real because i was so cut off from the world. we moved constantly so I'm not “from” anywhere #i never went to school or hung out with friends without my mom in the next room (even at like 17-18) #i wasn't allowed to watch disney or PBS or normal cartoons so i don't share most people's normal childhood cultural touchstones #i feel so separate from most people #so seeing something onscreen that LOOKS like how that FEELS? the awe and the confusion but also just #the love and compassion for a humanity that you've never experienced or been exposed to before??? #entering the real world for the first time???? #christ #rray.txt