#they're both pretty miserable but they acknowledge their shit and get better. together

[antianakin]

Just saw a comparison between Sabine/Ezra and Obitine as ships and like. There are quite literally zero similarities between these ships besides the male character in the ship being a Jedi and the female character in the ship being a Mandalorian.

Sabine and Satine, despite the unfortunate similarity in their names, are nowhere near even being similar characters. Sabine, obviously, is very much not a pacifist. Sabine also appears to actually be competent at the things the show tells us she is competent at, recognizes when she probably shouldn't be a leader because she just doesn't have the qualifications for it, and is allowed to have flaws that she can grow past. Satine manages to be completely and insanely incompetent at everything the show says she is very good at, is a leader despite seeming to be pretty shit at it, and never has any of her flaws acknowledged so they come across less as intentional flaws to make her more nuanced and more like just horrifically bad writing and she never gets to grow at all.

Obi-Wan and Ezra DO have more similarities, primarily because both of them follow the same general code with similar values and priorities due to Ezra having learned from Kanan who is passing on the same values Obi-Wan would have grown up with.

But Ezra's dynamic with Sabine is so wildly different from Obi-Wan's with Satine that it isn't even funny.

Obi-Wan and Satine have zero chemistry, all they do is take pot shots at each other mean-spiritedly and never end up being able to understand each other when they're not facing a life or death situation. What little romance they manage to have in their scenes is melodramatic and generally inappropriate to the situation they are in and they're never both invested in the romance at the same time (for example, Satine tries to have this big moment with a romantic confession that Obi-Wan actively tries to argue her out of because holy hell is this not the time for it). They also seem to just actively make each other worse. Satine seems to have far more understanding and tolerance towards Padme's views and priorities than she ever does towards Obi-Wan's, despite Padme and Obi-Wan having similar positions. Obi-Wan gets incredibly unprofessional in front of a lot of important political people just to argue with Satine and gets nearly misogynistic towards her.

By comparison, Ezra and Sabine, whether you view them romantically or not, actively make each other better. Yes, they tease each other. Yes, they sometimes disagree and argue. But there's never that feeling that they just don't like each other or can't truly understand the other person's feelings and are unwilling to even try. They always come back to talk things out and work to be better with each other afterwards. Both are allowed to be wrong and have to admit to as much. They never truly have any big romantic moments with each other since most of the "romance" that's more explicit exists in earlier seasons with Ezra being very awkward around Sabine and Sabine gently rebuffing or ignoring him when that happens, but they have big emotional moments together where they seem so in sync with each other and completely on the same page. Again, regardless of whether you view that as romantic or not, it's undeniable that Ezra and Sabine have a very strong, deep connection to each other that allows them to work as a really good team.

Comparing Ezra and Sabine as a ship to Obitine is really the most skin deep of comparisons you could possibly make. Obitine make each other SO miserable if they have to spend more than about 10 minutes together. Ezra and Sabine are family who chose each other, in whatever way you choose to view that. They make each other happy, they make each other better, they understand each other so deeply and respect each other's values and priorities even if they aren't the same.

#ezra bridger #sabine wren #ezra x sabine #star wars #star wars rebels #swr #anti satine #obitine critical #anti obitine #anti satine kryze #satine critical #satine kryze critical

[amethystina]

Oh man!! The latest chapter!!! The angst was angsting, pain was paining, heart is wrenching, tear is falling, it was soooo mean, but do it again!!!

It was the longest chapter and ironically the most painful chapter as well. Have I said how much I love slow burn and angst and this fic hits home everytime?? Likeee woah I just LOVE how this fic is LOOONG , nowhere near close bc that means I get me read it longer lol.

And I feel like I would never be able to appreciate how much hard work you put in Who Holds the Devil.

I am guessing it is now Ga On's turn to pursue Yohan and Oh man I can already imagine how much he is gonna suffer while doing it 😭 or maybe not (bc he tends to be pretty straightforward at times and impulsive as well) but I believe it's gonna be pretty hard bc Gaon has so much shit to get together and Yohan, my man, already gave up (poor him) so gaon trying to persue him or rather seduce his sugar daddy would look very suspicious to him. Nevertheless I am exited to see Gaon try and miserably, comically and hilariously half fail bc he will succeed eventually as Yohan is too much of a loser for Gaon lol. I am excited for future chapters and definitely wouldn't complain about more angst lol.

It was necessary for this to happen, otherwise the story would go nowhere and most importantly Gaon and Yohan would go nowhere, their problems will never be solved. Sometimes hitting rock bottom is crucial to develop in life BUT I would hate it if it happens to me, hope I will be able to get my shits together before that happens ( or maybe it already happened but I am not relizing it or not acknowledging it much like gaon but he is better than me ngl at least he has the courage)

This became a rant about me naur 😭

Lastly I hope you have a great day and things work out for you 💕

Also idk if it's your cup of tea but My Happy Ending kdrama is sooo good and worth giving it a try. It's a psychological suspense drama hehe. I am soo invested in it nowadays so couldn't help recommending you as well 💫

It was a painful chapter, yeah. And I'm both relieved and heartbroken to finally have it out there. As someone who doesn't actually like angst, this chapter was a struggle in more than one way. But it's necessary if I want their relationship to move forward, so here we are.

At this point, writing Who Holds the Devil has sort of turned into a second job, not going to lie. I still enjoy it, make no mistake, but I have to plan all of my other hobbies around it since I feel an obligation to post somewhat regularly. Like, I've been postponing drawing for the past two weeks because I wanted to get this chapter out (that's how long it took to edit, yes) but drawing is the thing that helps the most with my depression symptoms (that have made an unwanted reappearance due to my burnout), so I've been struggling quite a bit. And now all I want to do is draw for a couple of days.

So yeah. I can't lie and say it's not a lot of work, both in terms of planning, writing, editing, etc., but also how it affects the rest of my life. BUT I just love it too much to give up on it ;)

And yes, Ga On will have to be the one to pursue Yo Han now ;) Or, well, eventually. He has to wallow and overthink things a bit first because, well, Ga On. If overthinking things was an Olympic sport, he'd win the gold for sure. But he WILL give Yo Han what he wants in the end, I promise.

In short, the "the only way after hitting rock bottom is up" saying is pretty apt in this case.

There's still hope, so just hang in there :)

I looked at the plot for My Happy Ending but I admit it didn't really catch my attention. But that could be because I don't really watch much right now? I'm too busy writing and drawing. I'm also trying to finish a drama I started ages ago called Mad Dog. Which, let me tell you, it's disorientingly gay for a drama about insurance fraud. But unlike The Devil Judge I'm not sure if they're actually AWARE of how gay it is? (especially since it's from 2017)

But, like, if I had a penny for every time I've watched a drama in which a traumatised, older man brings home a reckless, bratty twink after said twink got injured — under the pretence of protecting him from more harm — only for the twink to start snooping around his house before deciding to charm the dude with home-cooked food and then just doesn't leave I would have two pennies. Which isn't a lot, but it's still weird that it's happened twice.

Also, what the heck do they want me to think when they have these kinds of angles when the two dudes are arguing?

That looks questionable both in and out of context. BUT that could also be because Woo Do Hwan could have sexual tension with a goddamn rock. Rarely have I seen a man with so much "fuck me and find out" energy as his character in this drama.

But the twink also has a romantic plotline with the woman on the team, at the same time as he's living in the older dude's apartment and giving this poor dude all kinds of conflicted feelings because he's a widower who's lived alone since his wife and kid died and suddenly there's someone in his apartment cooking him food, nagging at him when he comes late and drunk etc. etc. Like, bruh. It really sounds like the twink is his new wife? And I am SO CONFUSED because the drama plays it so straight (without the "hint, hint, nudge, nudge" winks that The Devil Judge had) that I'm about to have an existential crisis.

Fellas, is it gay if this is the face you make when you're told you're not actually living with the man who took you home to keep you safe after you almost got murdered but then you accidentally behaved like his concerned and doting wife?

Asking for a friend.

(and don't even get me started on the whole "Bring Your Twink to Work Day" scene)

At this point, I'm half convinced I'm gaslighting myself into thinking this is gay when it's actually just a really heartwarming story about a really deep bromance that I'm too queer to understand.

ANYWAY. Thanks for the rec! But I'm not sure if it's my thing and I'm really bad at watching things right now. But I'm thrilled to hear that you're having so much fun with it! I'm happy for you! :D

And thank you so much for the lovely message 💜

#Amethystina Replies #1-boiledpotato #Who Holds the Devil #Amethystina Writes #I swear #Watching Mad Dog is so very disorienting #Because it's genuinely SO GAY to me #But I've seen no one else so much as mention this #Is it just because the right people haven't watched it? #Or am I going crazy? #Who knows at this point #Sorry that this answer became more about Mad Dog than Who Holds the Devil #It's just been weighing very heavily on me lately xD #I AM SO CONFUSED

[effervescent-hoe]

Fic Teaser - Now Available

Fuck. Bella’s hands were shaking as she pulled into Forks High School. The first day of a new school had never gone well for her. Renee liked to drift. Inconsistent income led to them moving a lot, which had suited her mother fine. Life was an adventure, which to her mother meant not staying in the same place for more than two years. People gawked at her, and such a small town was sure to be worse. 

Pressure started to build in her sinuses as she pulled into a parking spot. Bella quickly shut down her truck, sniffling. The glove box stuck until she yanked it free, and pulled out napkins. 

Any fucking second now. I hate nosebleeds. 

The world seemed to slow in the second it took for blood to drip down onto the napkin. The first thing she felt was the rush of air as her door was opened. Time sped back to normal with a blur of ginger hair, and wide, black eyes. The void of his eyes was burned into her brain as pain ripped through her. Before she could open her mouth to scream, a delicate hand made of stone pressed against her lips hard enough to bruise them. 

“I’m sorry about this.” The words are whispered, and barely get through the broken glass boiling through her veins. In an instant the person on top of her is gone. She can feel the pain pulsing outwards with every beat of her heart. She can feel it all too clearly. Every single nerve ending is alight, and it’s all she can do not to scream. Her muscles are spasming. Cold stone wraps around her torso. 

I’m dying. Of a nosebleed. There’s a blanket of gray above her, but all she can see is the abyss that brought her death. Her last thoughts are not of the family she’s leaving behind, or the life she could have lived, or any of the things she should have been thinking. Bella’s last thought, before pain stole it from her, was relief.

Read more on ao3

#twilight #my writing #riley to the void #Edward Cullen #Bella Swan #edbella #THIS IS NOW POSTED WOOOOO #i just edited the original post for ease of access #I will post the full thing soon! but i want to see if anyone cares about it i guess. Also i need a title before posting #not my usual deal but i wanted to write a really character focused piece and exploring their issues seemed interesting #they're both pretty miserable but they acknowledge their shit and get better. together #Bella has a leg up bc she realizes early that edwards misery is a mirror of her own issues #not just being a monster but the desperation to be useful and needed and hinging your entire self worth on the way you serve others #also being raised religious and realizing that the belief system is incompatible with who you are as a person #and trying and failing to live up to impossible standards over and over w the belief that if you can just do it right youll earn salvation #i say religious but i mean chr*stian/C*tholic #yes im projecting that on bella a bit but the combo of neglect and religion and never staying in 1 place is a hell of a thing #sometimes we changed churches or denominations on a monthly basis and it makes the loneliness even more extreme #bc you dont know anyone and you know its not worth trying to get to know them either

[chainhead]

ink

leon has tattoos. ethan was never informed.

leon/ethan. mild swearing. smug leon, done-with-life ethan. fluffy!

It's fine. It's fine. This is totally fine.

Is it weird? Is he weird? God, he must be weird. It's nothing to get this riled up over, yet here he is, peeking over at Leon every now and then to catch a quick glimpse of the ink that spirals up his forearm.

Ethan bites his lip. Twirls the pen in his hand and clicks the button on top a few times, his desk work momentarily forgotten.

No, this isn't normal. Then again, neither is Leon with tattoos, so how is one supposed to think? React? He's been pretty good about hiding his (admittedly disturbing) attraction to the special agent; but things like this… well, they're on the same level as glasses, or piercings. A small change that—for a select few—can turn their entire world on an axis.

How far up do they go?

Does he have more?

When did he get them, and what do they symbolize?

"Ethan?"

The blonde startles, blue eyes flickering up in embarrassment.

Leon blinks at him. "What's your damage?"

Oh, Jesus Christ. "Nothing, sorry. Just a little spacey… today."

"I'll say."

Ethan hurriedly scoots closer to his desk, quickly turning his attention back to the papers that scatter across it. He isn't even sure what he's supposed to be doing with these, or why he even got assigned to deal with them, but if things keep going the way they are, he's gonna be here all fucking night.

Ethan frowns. And then he hesitates, realization dawning on him slowly that… hey, doesn't Leon work crazy late hours, too?

No.. no, no. He's on the clock. He needs to pay attention…

"Ethan." It isn't a question this time. Ethan meets Leon's gaze with a sheepish expression, and the other man draws his brows together. "Seriously, what's going on with you?"

How does one go about confessing their guilty, weird, quid-pro-quo attraction to their superior without coming off as a freak? Better yet, how does one go about it without getting fired? Ethan feels a cold sweat prickle beneath the collar of his button-up.

I like you. I like you. I like you.

"I like…" It's like there's a solid chunk of ice stuck in his throat. "Well, I mean, your… you know."

Leon's look of concern quickly shifts into one of bewilderment. "No?" He says, real slow-like. "I don't know."

Ethan wants to die.

"It's just…"

The atmosphere in the room shifts. Ethan's hands are clammy and cold and he regrets even opening his mouth; wishing he could've just opted to say that he feels sick and his head hurts, and maybe even take the rest of the night off so he could reflect on all of this – perhaps over a nice glass of red wine. Instead, because he's terrible at socializing and even worse at socializing with Leon, he's currently staring the agent down with terror flashing in his eyes.

Leon doesn't say anything, but it's obvious that he's dying to get this over with, just like Ethan is.

"Y– you can't get mad," Ethan stammers, clenching his fingers.

More silence.

Ethan sighs. Then, finally, he lays down his cards with a quiet, "Your tattoos."

Leon tilts his head. "... Mine?" He asks, a bit delayed, and Ethan has never wanted to evaporate into thin air more than he does right now.

"Yeah."

"Like, the ones on my arms?" Leon rotates his wrists, glancing down at his own artwork. 

"Yeah."

"Ah." 

Great. When should he start packing up his belongings? Now? Tomorrow? There's a spare produce box in the break room, and he only has a couple of personal items on his desk. His name placard, a picture of his childhood dog, a cup full of pens he got on clearance at Staples…

Although Ethan doesn't get to stand up or prepare before Leon is speaking again, his voice surprisingly nonchalant. 

"And...?"

Ethan sucks in a deep breath. That's a good question. "They're… distracting me?" Vague enough to keep matters civil. He can do this. "And that's why I'm a little… slow, today. I think. Because they're doing that. Distracting me, I mean."

Leon hums, acknowledging that he heard Ethan's answer. He waits, silent until Ethan manages to scrounge up the courage to meet him eye-to-eye, and then he laughs.

There's something to be said about the way in which Leon handles all things; from topics as serious as bioweapons wreaking havoc on unsuspecting townhomes, to things like this – Ethan admitting he's intrigued by the older man's ink. He's good at finding the balance while still remaining cool and collected, and that's a trait Ethan's always admired.

Because, sadly, he cannot do that.

"I knew there was something about you, Winters," Leon says jovially, as if he's uncovered some grand secret. He leans back in his chair, pushes himself a little further away from his desk, and says: "Do you want to come have a better look?"

Ethan nearly chokes on his spit. "W– wh– what?"

Leon's grin widens. He's enjoying this. "I can't have distractions in the workplace. So if you're curious, and think it might help you refocus, I implore you to get your ass over here and take a gander."

The blonde flusters, his lips screwing into a scowl. Implore. What did this guy know about words like that?

Regardless, he still obediently gathers himself to his feet, taking the necessary steps to close the distance between him and Leon. The fine hairs on the back of Ethan's neck stand at attention, and he's acutely aware of the personal bubble he is now officially bursting— not that Leon seems to notice, or mind.

Infact, the only thing he does when Ethan comes to stand beside his chair is jut both arms out, letting Ethan do whatever he likes.

Instinctively, Ethan grabs them. Then panics, because holy shit, he's touching Leon fucking Kennedy. Then double panics, because why did he do that? Why is he still doing it right now?

"Uh…"

"You just wanted to hold hands?"

"N– no!" Ethan exclaims, immediately letting go. Leon bursts out into full-bellied laughter, and the blonde has to take a deep breath before he passes out from his nerves. "Jesus, Leon, I– I was trying to bring them a little closer."

"Oh right, the bad eyesight," Leon drawls. "I forgot you wear glasses sometimes. Near-sighted?"

"Far-sighted. Now shut up and let me look," Ethan snaps, finding his second wind. He reaches for Leon's arms again and finds relief in how the older man wordlessly obliges; giving Ethan the opportunity to twist his arms and inspect the patterns that dance across them. It's not a situation Ethan could've expected, or even predicted, but Leon's right about one thing—this is definitely scratching that terrible itch he feels, somewhere deep down. No more needing to sneak creepy, uncomfortable glances to figure out what they are.

However, he'll always wonder where the tattoos lead. And how many more of them Leon has, hidden underneath all those layers of fabric.

"I see." Ethan nods, smiling faintly as he releases his grip again. "They're cool, I wasn't expecting you to have them. Then again, I've never seen you wear anything other than long sleeves."

Leon quirks a brow. "You pay attention?"

Ethan's smile drops. "Oh. I mean, not in like– not in a weird way, that isn't what—"

There's the sound of a scoff, and then Leon's hands are on Ethan's wrists, gently pulling him down to his level. The blonde stumbles forwards and catches himself with a knee on Leon's chair, and the situation is so intense and utterly stifling that Ethan has to rear away with his eyes narrowed in firm on the office door.

"Ethan," Leon coos.

The blonde makes a noncommittal sound in his throat. 

"Ethan, c'mon, look at me."

There's no way this is happening right now. No feasible way. He must be dreaming.

Ethan registers with rapt attention as Leon let's go of his wrists in favor of bringing both hands up to cup his cheeks, and whether Ethan wants to submit or not isn't really an option anymore. Determinedly, the older man coaxes him to meet his gaze again.

"Shy?" Leon teases, and then quickly changes his tune when Ethan struggles in his grasp. "Okay, okay, I was just kidding! Damn."

"Leon—"

"Hold on for a second, sweetheart. I've got a few things on my mind." Ethan's face burns as he tries to process this, process the feel of Leon's touch as it sears itself into his memory. His heart pounds so fiercely in his chest he fears that Leon can feel it, but if he does, he doesn't comment.

Leon brushes his thumbs over Ethan's cheekbones. "You thought I'd be mad?"

"It's... unprofessional," Ethan breathes.

"What is?" Leon asks. His eyes are so blue. "Wanting to see my tattoos?"

Ethan nods. Leon snickers, pulling him that much closer, and the blonde is enveloped in the smell of bergamot and gunpowder and something spicy like sage, and… what was the question again? He can't think clearly when he can feel Leon's words flit across his lips.

"The only 'unprofessional' thing I see is the subordinate about to climb into his boss's lap," Leon murmurs with a wry smile. Ethan lets out a small gasp, jolting, and Leon makes sure he doesn't slip away. "Woah, hey! I never said I didn't like it."

"L– Leon, I don't understand what's…" Ethan stutters, shivering, feeling the traces of electricity that follow Leon's fingertips. He doesn't know whether to lean into him or settle his entire weight on top of Leon, so to play it safe, he refrains from doing either.

The agent takes a moment, eyes sweeping over Ethan's features, before letting out a soft exhale. "Well, now you've seen them. I hope that helped you find some kind of clarity..."

Not even a little bit, Ethan thinks miserably.

"... But it'll probably kill you to know that there's more than just this, and I can assure you, they are much more interesting." Leon chuckles as he tugs the blonde in one last time, and kisses him, right on the corner of his mouth.

"Still distracted?" He whispers.

Ethan can't even think of a proper reply. His brain has turned to mush.

"You…"

"Mm?"

Ethan sucks in a deep breath. "You're a fucking asshole."

Leon throws his head back and laughs, and when he recovers Ethan is already swooping in for another kiss. To hell with professionalism.

#heyyy i dont usually post my writing here but #im gonna!!! >:) #*flings my drabble at u* #ethan winters #leon kennedy #resident evil #lethan

[licncourt]

For that Modern Human AU Loustat, do you have any thoughts or ideas for the first time they both said "I love you" ? This is officially my favorite blog, and your headcanons are so great!

Thank you so, so much!! That's so kind 🥺

I had to give this some thought, but I've decided that both of them would need some kind of emotional push to get them over the brink, so here's what I'm imagining for the sink or swim moments:

Louis says it first, on the day they reunite at the book signing. It's late that first night and they're in his living room, catching up on the last few years.

Things have been going pretty well, they're awkward and reserved but actually connecting for once until something triggers Lestat. He gets angry and panicky over whatever it was (something that reminds him how cold and distant Louis used to be probably) and tries to bail on impulse. Why would he want to go back to a relationship with someone who refuses to even acknowledge that they're together? Who criticizes him constantly and only touches him during sex?

He's heading for the door, about to abort mission before he gets his heart broken again when Louis catches his wrist and and says I love you. It's true and Lestat needs to know that he's serious, that his trauma and insecurity won't put another rift between them or make him want to leave again.

As much as it hurts to say it, it ends up being a good pain, kind of like setting a broken bone. Acknowledging it out loud was the first step to really confronting his internalized homophobia and learning to show affection in a healthy way.

It takes longer for Lestat. He's so thrilled and relieved to hear Louis say it, but he can't say it back yet. He just kisses him.

When he does say it, Louis is having a bad day. He's stuck in a depression rut and can't get out of his own head. ED behaviors are rearing their head and he really wants to drink. He's all-around miserable and starts to wonder how long it'll be until Lestat gets sick of his shit and leaves to find someone more fun and less work.

Lestat doesn't know what thoughts finally pushed him over the edge, but he can tell Louis' spiralling. He's terrible with feelings and actual emotional intimacy (a frequent issue in their prior relationship) but he's determined to push himself to be better.

It's very anticlimactic in the end. He makes Louis a cup of tea and brings it to him. When he hands it over, Lestat kisses his cheek and whispers it in his ear. It's not a magic fix, but when they go take a nap together Louis can rest a little easier.

#answered #loustat #human au