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#they're not destructively codependent
clowndensation · 7 months
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have decided i need to write an essay about charoum's whole deal with gortash. which doesn't even get into gortash's whole deal with charoum. because that's an entire other essay.
ok the thing about charoum and gortash is that. like.
charoum is a guy who's never meaningfully been told no in his life. anybody in a position to impart any sort of boundary with him was generally murdered in the process, and then he went ahead and did what he wanted anyways. and i don't think he necessarily understood what he was doing as a child (beyond any young child's capability of understanding what murder or death means). he just knew that murder 1. felt good and natural to him. 2. meant he got to do what he wanted. 3. he's alone and scared and he misses his mom and dad, but they're not around anymore.
by the time he was able to contextualize murder as an action that had consequences outside of his own immediate self-gratification, he was already so disconnected from the idea that other people actually were people - with their own lives and hopes and dreams - that it was infinitely easier to reject any guilt or regret he might feel, in favor of leaning into this worldview he's crafted, wherein he (and orin) exist alongside other people, but aren't actually one of them.
and so while he might enjoy infiltrating the world where all the other people are (going into taverns and singing and dancing and drinking, rubbing shoulders with the nobles and aristos of baldur's gate, being an object of admiration and obsession of his fellow cultists), he understands that he (and orin) are uniquely separate from them all.
and then he meets gortash. and he's fun! he's interesting! he levers people with the same efficiency that charoum kills them. he tries to lever charoum like he's one of those ordinary people. a person on the other side of the curtain, unaware of the stage they all play on. and it works. if charoum isn't paying attention, if he underestimates gortash, focuses on something else, he'll find himself going along with what he wants without even thinking about it!
there is, genuinely, nothing more invigorating than being manipulated into doing what someone else wants, because that proves that someone else has a will separate from his own, and is capable of enforcing it onto him. which is exciting in a way that nothing else in charoum's life has ever been.
#orin exists in a special place for charoum and his worldview#because there's a kinship there - an understanding that gives her the value of personhood granted to nobody else in the world#but they're SO similar that charoum gets complacent in their relationship#like they're absolutely codependent as hell - which is realized in incredibly fucked up and destructive ways#but the relationship is mentally quite frictionless for charoum. because that's his bloodsister. he loves her and is possessive of her#but they don't really pull anything new or exciting out of each other. they just reaffirm the reality that charoum is comfortable with.#whereas gortash forces charoum to think and play on a level he's never had to before.#he starts engaging with the world not as a thing separate from him (and worthy of his simultaneous envy and disdain)#but as something interesting and worth guiding and shaping and turning into something better (per his own definition. obviously)#gortash genuinely improves charoum's life by existing as a person outside of easy control.#and charoum is endlessly entertained by trying out different scripts on gortash and watching him attempt to outmaneuver him#there's a continuous power play going on wherein the way way they reaffirm that they care about each other#is by attempting to manipulate each other - and giving the other person the stimulation and challenge of having to out think them#and it's something charoum will NEVER get bored of. because it's pretty much all he's ever wanted.#anyways.#he's a normal guys basically.#charoum
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having to ration my meds for a week thanks to refill fuckups right as i'm slamming facefirst back into my Extensive Web of Infodumps About Quarry Meta hyperfixation is biphobia. if it's a sign i'm ignoring it
#who. Who. is going to talk about kaitlyn and jacob's codependency in great depth#both what we got in canon and in versions of their dynamic where she /isn't/ just like. a ballsout sadistic emotional abuser lmao#they're both really really interesting dynamics in different ways and i'm like#they set up ALL the pieces for her arc to involve facing and trying to learn how to move on from her codepency with jacob#to admit that it's hurting them both and holding them back from living their lives#that romantic or not you can love someone very deeply and still need to let each other go#even by their own standards where they think they're not portraying her as abusive lol they set it up#'kaitlyn chooses inaccessible people to crush on and then refuses to follow it up because the elephant in the room is that she feels guilty#at the idea of pursuing her own relationships when she Owes Jacob Keeping Him Out of Trouble(tm)#she has appointed herself guardian of her best friend who does need help and support for his brand of destructiveness self and otherwise#but she does it by suffocating him; and he did not ask her to do it; and she resents that he doesn't seem to have gotten the memo#that she is chained to him; so he should be chained to her too. hence her being Like That about his relationship with emma'#i am going on but there's So Much Here they could have explored; that would have been genuinely humanizing for even an abusive kaitlyn#and instead we got 'Mom Friend whose character is mostly relegated to being the shoulder fairy for the majority of the game' :|#anyway ANYWAY anyway i am so very normal about them more disastrous toxic/abusive alterous relationships please#[kettering by the antlers plays in the distance]#quarrytag#quarrycrit tag#the crit files
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luciddownloading · 5 months
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Planets in the 12th House 🧿
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SUN IN THE 12TH HOUSE: Multiple personalities and they're all confusing. Either seems like a narcissist or a wallflower but they're really not. Most of them are massive insomniacs but also can freakishly thrive on very little sleep. MUST work on their solar plexus chakra (may either be blocked or overactive). A lot of them strongly believe in past lives/reincarnation and could be very naturally tapped into their Akashic Records. Deja Vu 24/7. In the arts, they are absolute icons and trendsetters. Could be more of a leader in their creative field but passive otherwise. If their father is in their life, no one drives them crazier but there is no one they admire and respect more. If not, they feel better off without a father and don't see it as a void in their life.
MOON IN THE 12TH HOUSE: The "child whisperer"; babies and kids instantly feel safe and soothed and understood around them. Capable of 100 different moods in the span of a day. Yet will insist they're "fine" when you ask. Uncannily capable of telling when others are not as happy as they appear. CLAIRSENTIENCE. An empath who needs to protect their energy for the sake of their sanity. Must express their emotions maturely or else they get very self-destructive. Deep, deep love of movies or music that may just be a hobby. Most feel incredibly indebted to their mothers or can have a very codependent motherly bond. Messy as hell sleeping schedule: staying up late, sleeping in late, insomnia, sleeping 10 hours, etc.
MERCURY IN THE 12TH HOUSE: Throat chakra probably needs a lot of healing. Could have a speech impediment early in life or be neurodivergent. They could also be judged very harshly (and unfairly) for their accent. Knows what people are thinking somehow and it freaks them out. Clairaudient abilities. Secretly very shrewd and cunning. Learned how to "play dumb" or "say less" early in life so people can't predict their next move. They have highly communicative Spirit Guides and they're always interacting with them but they may not be consciously aware of it. Natural channelers or mediums. NOTHING is a coincidence to them. They see signs in everything because they're always in dialogue with the Universe.
VENUS IN THE 12TH HOUSE: The biggest sweethearts but may hide that by acting kind of "mean". The best connections for them are the ones who see the big softie under the tough exterior. A lot of powerful feminine Spirit Guides around them. May also be very connected to love/beauty goddesses like Aphrodite or Freya. Is either seen as a goddess type or has a strong romantic relationship with a partner with big goddess energy (regardless of gender). Major Twin Flame vibes. Major soulmate connections. A divine counterpart could spiritually awaken them or even act as a guide (in human form or in the Spirit Realm). Art = healing. Could make their best art about the one they love or in collaboration with them. Heart chakra blockages that must be addressed.
MARS IN THE 12TH HOUSE: A dormant volcano that rarely explodes but causes total devastation when it does. Recurring nightmares that may haunt them through adulthood. Might be incredibly drawn to "scary" art: horror movies, heavy metal, grotesque visual art, etc. Would SERIOUSLY benefit from taking up boxing, self-defense or any kind of martial arts. As a teenager, they probably convinced adults they were perfectly well-behaved all while secretly drinking, having sex or smoking a lot. Becomes more open about their "bad behavior" with age. If they don't let themselves rebel, they'll implode/break down/become very destructive. Probably needs to heal their sacral chakra. Knows how to fulfill all their partner's sexual fantasies/desires but needs to express theirs.
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JUPITER IN THE 12TH HOUSE: Knowing that abundance is not just about money. They have an abundance of many spiritual/emotional/creative blessings (love, inner peace, talent, psychic abilities) and financial abundance follows. People constantly being jealous of them and they're just like, "Jealous of what?" Their humility and belief that everyone can win brings them more blessings. Incredibly inspirational. They make people want to be better versions of themselves. DREAMERS. Figuratively and literally; their actual dreams are like nightly movies. Constantly rescued or kept out of trouble by their Guides. Very active spiritual life. May start life very religious but benefits from exploring lots of spiritual paths.
SATURN IN THE 12TH HOUSE: Somehow super-grounded and very otherworldly, at the same time. Most likely to make skeptics see the truth or value in spirituality or psychic phenomena. Some may claim to be skeptics themselves but that's either just a phase or what they tell themselves to cope with this reality. Very powerful and natural psychic gifts that they may resist, dismiss or fear until they're called to embrace them. Although they see themselves as a hot mess, a LOT of people look up to and admire them. Major "older sibling" energy (regardless of if they actually are a big brother/sister or not). Also, "wise mentor" energy. VERY divinely protected. They have a lot of masculine, formidable Spirit Guides who do not mess around when it comes to them. One or two of their Guides or just a compassionate mentor may play a fatherly role in place of their father figure in this life, who could be absent, passed on or emotionally checked out.
URANUS IN THE 12TH HOUSE: Highly clairvoyant. As artists, this makes them ahead of the current trends and very cutting-edge. They could also have predictive dreams and visions. Raven Baxter vibes (including the chaos and calamities). Very good at convincing others that they are straight-laced or "normal" but the weirdness eventually slips through. Might be a model child and save all their rebelliousness for adulthood. Or they could be a model citizen but totally wild behind closed doors. They stand out through either controversial artistic statements or a very unique fashion sense. Really sensitive to mental health issues. Kind of like medication in human form; can help stabilize people's instabilities.
NEPTUNE IN THE 12TH HOUSE: Virtually hypnotizes people, without even trying. They have a striking beauty that is more about their aura/energy than looks (even though they may be gorgeous). Magical, mystical beings. A fairy, elf, mermaid, etc in human form. Often feels burdened/cursed by the pedestal others put them on. Humbly owns their flaws/faults while others are like, "Nah, you're kind of perfect actually". Seen as an angelic presence or guiding light to those they influence. Can go to some DARK inner places but can also heal/redeem themselves. Extremely psychic and trusts their intuition. Third eye and crown chakra are wide-open. Spirituality is the air they breathe. Highly connected to their past lives and were most likely artists or spiritual teachers in previous lifetimes, repeating those skills in this one.
PLUTO IN THE 12TH HOUSE: Often has to play the villain before they can become the hero. Get accused of absolutely untrue or unfounded things by people who are threatened by them. Can develop a very "bad reputation" that hides the fact that they're actually really nice or level-headed. However, they secretly enjoy being feared so they may encourage that illusion around them. Many of them have natural, powerful witchcraft abilities, due to a past life or more as a witch. As a result, they may be incredibly drawn to the occult/paganism or be one of those intense "that stuff is evil and demonic!!!" types. Their Spirit Guides are forces to be reckoned with, delivering retribution to their enemies yet also giving these people "cruel to be kind" lessons that change their lives. Walking bullshit detectors. Forces people to deal with their hidden truth but become more subtle and graceful about it with age.
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sunlightgaps · 10 months
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this scene where dennis casually refers to dee as his friend stuck with me because i initially thought it was hilarious that he friendzoned his actual twin sister but then i became obsessed because. they’re literally friends 😭😭😭😭 they WILL leave each other’s asses the moment trouble strikes and they’re each other’s #1 target of bullying BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS COME BACK TO EACH OTHER. their bond is thicker than circumstance. they devoured their triplet in the womb. their team-ups are ruthless and destructive to those around them. and on top of it all they’re friends!! they're dance partners. they scheme to exploit welfare & get addicted to crack together. they instinctively reach for each other when they’re scared. “deandra's gonna side with dennis—that's a given.” the chardee macdennis game teams naturally pair dennis & dee. in dennis's ideal universe dee doesn't have the forehead injury she got from falling on the ground. dennis shields her when a food fight erupts during thanksgiving dinner. dee gives dennis a soft smile underwater even though she'd just said "whatever" in response to his "i love you, sis" right before they think they're going to die drowning. do you See. do you Understand. twins by chance, friends by CHOICE 💪🔥 their toxic codependent sibling slay...
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sightofsea · 4 months
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end of the year reclist
well!! the year is winding down and I read some good stuff on ao3. here are the highlights.
Good Omens:
Ut It Tempus (Or: Muriel's Wet, Wild, and Very Hot Summer Weekend) by Oatmeal Addiction
just recently read this one so it goes on the top of the list!! incredibly funny, great muriel character study, some of the funniest prose out there. it genuinely feels like you're reading a continuation of the book, which is just such a cherry on top of everything this fic has to offer.
a rarer height by @hyruling
this was the first fic I read post series 2 that scratched that itch i get for good go fic. the atmosphere it creates is lovely, like a little blanket to wrap yourself up in. the way it jumps back and forth through time is amazing. the characterization is so good--I'd been waiting for a fic where the way they fight felt natural and HOOOOO boy did this deliver like a swift kick in the nuts. absolutely a post series 2 classic.
puttin' on the ritz by @moonyinpisces
what can I say that hasn't been said already. it's funny it's hot it's glamorous they are so unbelievably stupid for each other it's amazing. I think about it every time I order a drink with a maraschino cherry.
Just Once More by NaroMoreau
TIME LOOP FIC!!!! that's all I can say. what a great character study and what a great means of utilizing time loops for character development. absolutely lovely.
Drinking Buddies and Diaries by dove_dove
on my life this is probably one of my favorites of all time. perfectly imagined series 3. perfectly imagined muriel and crowley shenanigans, perfectly bitchy aziraphale, with a wonderful small study on food symbolism to add to the cherry on top. lovely.
I'm the treasure baby, I'm the prize by stereobone
crowley works at a brothel and hypnotizes men into thinking they're having sex with him so he can therapize about aziraphale to them. that's it. that's the story. it's perfect
come as you are by fruitygoblin
this one made me cry buckets for very personal reasons but also I think it's a very good character study of aziraphale and it also does something lovey stuff with food symbolism.
Sherlock:
(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea by DiscordantWords
I finally read this one after meaning to get to it for years (I love the author's other works) and uh yeah. yeah. great exploration of grief and somehow successfully makes things make sense after whatever all that was.
House:
Old machines by applecrumblecore
I love fucked up middle aged men and I love how this seems like a totally plausible way for them to get together.
Howler Tone by baffledbear
I love fucked up middle aged men and I LOOOOVE fucked up codependent self destructive tendencies displayed through impromptu phone sex. Or whatever.
Red Dwarf:
Learning to Lose by komodobits
listen. technically I read this last year and technically I made myself promise not to put any WIPs on this list. but it started updating again and also this fic was made for me. Its a blades of glory au and it's so deliciously funny and sucks you in so fast. it's crazy. I've pulled all nighters over it. it's literally the two stupidest things I love with all my heart smashed into one. it doesn't get better than this.
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tereziii · 2 years
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I think about Pyrrha Dve and I want to scream a little. Imagine, being eaten by your best friend and then living in the back of his mind and in his body for thousands of years, during which you meet a beautiful woman hellbent on your destruction and let yourself fall in love, in fact you're ready to raise her daughter if she'd ask you to, but you and your best friend have to kill her. You spend 19 years thinking you killed your own child along with the love of your life, 19 years of guilt and grief. Your love comes back to you, you find out the child was never even yours and your love dies again. So does your best friend, and now you're stuck in his body without him. Then fast forward to Nona the ninth, you finally get the domestic bliss you've been waiting for in the form of Nona (a different person in the body that you spent a year watching your best friend try to kill) and Camilla (another one of devotion's casualties) and Palamedes (inhabiting the body of his best friend, just like you did for so many long years). And you make breakfast for them, and you do Nona's hair before she goes to school and you give her tons of adorable nicknames and you walk to work with Camilla and look for radio stations with music on them because Nona likes them. You bicker with the Warden over what food to buy, you roll your eyes with affection when they try and get you to stop smoking cigarettes. Sometimes, you talk to Warden and Camilla about moving to a half flipped moon, together with Nona, and living off the land; teaching them to farm, teaching them to wait. You're so close to the life you've wanted for so long. But slowly you can see Camilla, a woman you don't quite love but could see yourself loving in the future, get more and more lost in Palamedes, losing herself to her necromancer. And you see them both fall victim to that total loss of self and codependancy that you saw so many of your old comrades fall too, and you lose them both. Its completely done, and it's not something that can be undone, and you know they're never coming back. Now they're a stranger in a body you recognise, in a body you almost built a life with. And then there's Gideon, the child of the woman you loved, the child you might’ve raised in another universe, being the saddest girl in the world and a reanimated corpse, a puppet for the empire that killed her (and yeah, you guessed it! She died for her necromancer too). And then, just when you think it can't get any worse, there goes Nona. Nona, who loved being alive and loved to love things just for the sake of loving things, who just wanted a birthday with 10 dogs and her friends from school, literally dies in your arms. She falls apart while you hold her and is now in the unrecognisable body of someone who is the pinnacle of cavaliers being mistreated. They're all gone, but Pyrrha is still there, right where they left her. She remembers everything, she remembers that she was happy, if only for 6 months.
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admiringtheskies · 9 months
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okay, so The Hyperfixation Is Hyperfixating, clearly, and honestly im just gonna continue going with it bc THEM— *screams* ANYWAYS @frownyalfred uhhhhhh hope you enjoy this as well! without further ado, another idea inspired by the incomparable ✨borderline✨ that just would NOT leave me alone until i got it all down into actual real words:
at some point further in the timeline of borderline'verse, when they've finally got the whole situation mostly under control, the batfam (whenever they accompany bruce, or multiple kids go together by themselves so they're in batclan mode, to do jl/other crossover shit) sort of ends up just doing the whole Bat-Danger-Aura thing, like, Constantly; somewhat unintentionally, but also with not much effort really made to rein it in, bc they do think the reactions are hilarious lol. and like, the thing is, they were ALREADY doing it pre-bond, pretty much right from whenever dick, jason, or both made their first appearance w bruce outside of gotham and first established the existence of mini-bats for the outside world — i mean, that sense of leashed power, as well as the eerie synchronicity and ability to communicate in the tiniest of gestures, was really just a natural consequence of the crime-fighting codependency and the training bruce put them through, originally. (as you may be able to tell, i have an Extremely Normal Amount of Feelings about the concept of cryptid batfam <3). but WITH the bond?? i mean, the kids are all connected to each other, yes, but their primary connections are all to BRUCE, and once they've had time to adjust, and set + actually semi-consistently enforce some basic boundaries, they absolutely take pride in using that to it's fullest advantage (that they're capable of while not intentionally compromising anybody's autonomy, anyways).
and like… OP's already touched on this in earlier chapters briefly a few times, but i NEED a thorough exploration of the idea of bruce seeing this change in them, seeing them subconsciously incorporate even just these little subtle mannerisms, and feeling so fucking guilty about it and spiraling bc he's terrified that all of his self-destructive qualities [that he's painfully aware of in himself] will transfer over to the children, who somehow never seem to realize that how proud and grateful they make him when they demonstrate their DIFFERENCES from him in those regards. and he's just so scared that he'll somehow ruin the few parts of them he thinks he's miraculously managed to avoid 'tainting' with his mentorship/fatherhood until now… …and meanwhile the kids are about to start crying because dad no what the fuck,,, but also facepalming a little bit bc jesus CHRIST, B, did you never even stop to consider the fact that you're just… really fuckin smart and skilled and know how to do a frankly ungodly amount of Cool Shit that we all share an interest in, and we were excited to have the chance to copy more of that shit too?! just, even beyond the great mental image of the Danger Walk, what really got me about that scene was just... his two oldest boys, who are already so much like him, not hesitating for a SECOND to gleefully take the chance to match his behavior even MORE perfectly, and wanting to know where he learned something as (relatively, by their standards) simple as the Serious Business Walk, and wanting to share that memory because it's just fuckin cool, y'all! like, to be clear, i absolutely respect the fact that, at least by the time that they're entering adulthood/in the prime of their mental and physical youth, any of the batkids are pretty much on, or definitely rapidly approaching, the same level as bruce in general badassery — and they probably each have 1 or 2 specific skillsets in which they can and do surpass him. but at the same time, you CANNOT convince me that, at any given point in the established DC timeline, there exists a non-bruce batfam character who can really look at bruce (like his personality, his aforementioned ridiculous skillset, i mean everything about him) and not see at least ONE quality in him that they aspire to. maybe it's something they already have and just can't see in themselves, maybe it's more a projection of something one of their other siblings has and shares with bruce, maybe it's just some skill, some random combat move, that he doesn't need very often, and so when he does use it, it briefly reminds them that "holy shit, he's The Fucking Batman" — but there's always SOMETHING there, some reason that even when they're having trouble communicating or arguing or emotions are running high, they'll never truly lose that respect for him that compels these ridiculously independent, self-sufficient people to willingly follow him: to listen to him, to trust him, and to keep themselves ready to unite under his lead. because nobody can argue that they are a clan, whose purpose comes from being first united under the guidance and protection and love of the bat.
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nayatarot777 · 11 months
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{what red flags 🚩 do you need to be aware of in the people that you attract?} • pac
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this can apply to both romantic and platonic connections.
• pile one •
cards: 9 of cups, 7 of swords, page of cups
you attract people who love-bomb. people who try to get close to you emotionally way too fast due to having negative intentions towards trying to gain something from you. i'm hearing that they try to trip you up, figuratively speaking, and they usually try to bait you into something in order to trap you. they act mad weird, like they want to put you on a leash and keep you tied to them - weird possessive shit - but i'm seeing you unassuming to what they're trying to do as you're just enjoying your moments with these people. i'm seeing that you could give off an aura of someone who is in need of help and that attracts a lot of people who see a vulnerable person who can be taken advantage of - or you attract people who keep you tethered to them by being in a damsel-in-distress type of energy. i feel an energy of you always knowing about these motives very subtly but you seem to keep yourself ignorant to them - or so it seems.
cards: the devil, 8 of swords, 10 of swords
this spread is so fucking bad. why are these people so shady? 🙃 you attract people who try to get you codependent on them for something. some really dark, vindictive shit - and this is most likely why you find yourself in a very rough spot mentally when you're around these people. these people really psychically attack you - especially behind your back. these people could gossip, or manipulate you mentally in some way through deceit. they do this as a way to try to get you to self-destruct mentally and not want to be seen. they try to get you to just feel low within yourself in an indirect way. these people are extremely emotionally immature and passive aggressive as fuck, and they hide this behind the facade of being a loving and kind/caring person towards you. everything that they do for you is transactional to them - you owe them, in their mind. you don't need whatever they're trying to offer you. these people try to steal your joy and try to influence you to destroy yourself for the sake of benefiting them. some of these people could've even tried to get you hooked on something (drugs and substances), their attention/validation, whatever the case - very disgustingly selfish energy.
if this preview resonates with you, feel free to check out the extended reading on patreon here
if you’d like a personal reading, then check out my pinned post here
• pile two •
cards: the hierophant, 4 of cups, the devil
these people are emotionally disconnected and extremely rigid in the way that they think and live life. they have major control issues and therefore have to control what they feel and when - leading them to never want to be vulnerable for fear of losing control over themselves. these people are dangerous because, due to the fact that they're so emotionally numb and apathetic, they're trying to search for happiness in the physical realm. they're not very emotionally aware or self-aware in general, and this is why they walk around with a fake sense of authority. they try to place burden onto you to make them feel better - it's like an unspoken expectation from them, as if your only purpose is for you to make them happy. this is very icky energy and i don't like it lmaoo. despite wanting to portray themselves as authoritative, they actually hate responsibility (they don't take accountability either), and they push what they should be responsible for onto other people. blaming other people for their own fuck ups.
cards: 5 of swords, strength, 5 of pentacles
these people like to breadcrumb others as a way of establishing some type of power or dominance over others. they like when they can have influence and control over someone else's emotions as it makes them feel like they have some type of strength in life. i'm hearing that their insecurity always bleeds through though. and they try to cover up these insecurities by indulging in everything to do with the material realm - focusing on their external appearance and image, their money over other people, etc. they don't care enough to quieten their ego and just listen to others to take another's opinion into consideration. they could be very argumentative at times for seemingly no reason. they could make themselves look like everything that the masses would desire in a friend/partner/family member, whatever connection that you have to them. however, this is done to coverup the fact that they know that they really don't have much to practically offer you. they're actually there to take - not give - and that ain't right.
if this preview resonates with you, feel free to check out the extended reading on patreon here
if you’d like a personal reading, then check out my pinned post here
• pile three •
cards: ace of swords, 7 of pentacles (reverse), 3 of pentacles
they're always envious and jealous of how much you know or how much you're capable of. they put you upon a pedestal in their heads and have the nerve to act like you've done something to warrant their irritation towards you being (seemingly) the best at something. they hate when you level up and when you progress in life because it shows that you're manifesting - that you're doing something that they gave up on doing a long time ago. it seems clear to them that you're doing something that highlights how little they're doing with their own lives and they gave up on trying to make things happen for themselves. it seems so much easier for you to achieve what you'd like to, though. it looks like you get so much stuff done to these people while they're doing hardly anything. and somehow that's your problem? ✨ wild ✨ these people compare themselves to you and then blame that on you. smh.
cards: 8 of wands, page of wands, the hierophant
these people seem to be able to think very quickly on their feet and have a direct method of asserting their opinions as a way to try to direct what you do or what you invest into. i'm feeling a lot of invasive energy as if they're trying to block you from having authority over your own life. they could definitely try to distract you and take you off of your path. these people are usually very focused on learning how to gain some type of status or respect for being the best of the best with something - and these people usually view you in that way. in the way that they want other people to view them. they can't stand to see you just do your own thing because whatever you do just isn't easy to compete with. these people are extremely impulsive and therefore make poor decisions that keep them stuck in the same place in life. and you doing the opposite - planning for your future and taking steps towards your goals - threatens their feeling of being revered as a respectable person with the most amount of authority.
if this preview resonates with you, feel free to check out the extended reading on patreon here
if this preview resonates with you, feel free to check out the extended reading on patreon here
if you’d like a personal reading, then check out my pinned post here
• pile four •
cards: 10 of pentacles, death, the star
lmaooo the first message is about being wary of people who are in MLMs. maybe you live in an area where that's common but it's really sticking out for someone in particular 😂😭 the red flags in these people are about how they're people who are always secretly in need of help. people who are constantly feeling a change in their ego and who they are, causing a lot of difficult endings in their stability and their structure in life for the sake of something or someone that they feel could save them. i don't feel malicious energy from these people, but just very vulnerable and very lost or stuck in their own regrets and misery. these people may come across as quite stable and structured, however they're constantly in the energy of needing to be rejuvenated somehow. i'm also seeing some of you being made aware to stay away from people with major smoking addictions. i'm seeing some of you being asthmatic or something but still forcing yourself to be around this person when they're blowing clouds like Thomas the tank engine. stop that 😭 these are people who could also cover up their pain or prevent themselves from making much necessary change by just keeping themselves in the comfort of their physical realities. they don't shed their skin when they need to at times, but then they wonder why they feel so drained and "dead inside". these are people in need of help who don't even help themselves.
cards: page of wands, queen of cups, 5 of cups
they're also very immature in the way that they act or literally behave. i'm seeing someone being immature towards expressions of emotions, and i'm also seeing them not being able to be serious when someone is trying to show them love and care. i'm picking up on some avoidant energy, and i feel like it's coming from them. they don't know how to recognise genuine love and care from someone (because they haven't allowed themselves to meet that yet) so they mistake small sexual encounters for love or something like that. or they expect you to feel loved based on sex. they're very immature in the way that they show love. if this is a platonic connection, they're someone who cannot apologise or who will not listen to the way that you feel. they'll try to just joke away the problem at hand and move on as if nothing's wrong in an attempt to avoid having to feel guilt or responsibility. these people also focus on a lot of people who they don't have in their lives anymore. they focus on who they lost (whether it was their fault or not, whether it was a good or bad thing to them) instead of focusing on the people who they're around currently. that's because they don't take things seriously enough until people around them get tired of it and leave. then they want to cry 🙃
if this preview resonates with you, feel free to check out the extended reading on patreon here
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silverskye13 · 2 months
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I swear someone could point out a minuscule detail in RnS and you’d respond with ‘yes that’s actually a very important character detail and is very intentional for you see’ insert like three paragraphs /pos
Oh pfff. No not really XD or I guess, not like how you're implying. I won't pretend every little detail people pick up on is planned. I didn't sit down and write a web of character traits for everyone, or something like that. It's just that, when you write a character for awhile, what comes natural to them as far as habits go, starts to come natural while you write them.
I gave Tanguish things like: thief, climber, nervous, codependent, caring, fearful, stubborn. And then when I write him and I need body language to go between dialogue tags, I think of those traits and come to the conclusion that he needs to fidget with his hands (they're important tools as a thief and a climber and are a common nervous fidget for nervous people. Hiding them and he's secretive, pinning them to his sides and he's worried he's going to mess something up, hurting them and he's feeling self destructive, etc.)
I gave Helsknight traits like: knight, formal, proud, resigned, scared of death, withdrawn. So when I write him, and he wants to lie (proud, withdrawn) but he can't (knight) it makes sense that he side steps the truth a lot. If he's vulnerable or uncomfortable (proud, formal, knight, withdrawn) then fidgeting with his armor makes sense.
Then the longer you write those little behaviors, the more messing with them makes sense as the story goes on.
"Oh I established in X chapter that Helsknight wears his armor as a sign of distance. It makes sense it would have a thorns enchantment, and when he's intentionally softening up for Tanguish, he would not add that enchantment back onto his armor."
"I established that Tanguish wasn't blinded when the Warden got close in X chapter, so it makes sense that he's able to see in pitch black places. Maybe I would like to make that symbolic in his character too: he is really good at seeing past the emotional guards of people, and if for some reason he can't, it makes him irrationally nervous."
So! I guess all that to say, yes the details are intentional because I think about them actively while I'm writing. But not in the sense that I sat down and said "okay, what are all the details I wanna put in this story that I want people to pick up on eventually?" The process is a lot closer to "if my character is like this, what is in character for them to do?" And then you remember those little things, and when you have the chance to reinforce them later to keep them in character, you take that chance, because keeping them in character helps the reader believe they're a little more real, and keeps them invested in the story. And if you get good at keeping them in character, they influence how the story goes with those in character moments, and then the story gets more compelling.
Then people go "Hey wait, I just realized Tanguish says 'Welsknight' but Helsknight says 'Wels'." And you go, oh, thank you, I tried very hard to keep them in character I'm glad you agree that was an in character thing for them to do. Here's why I thought it was in character do you agree? And, most of the time, people agree, because they watched you go absolutely insane over these two characters for 135k words. Yes author, you probably are a little weird about them at this point, huh?
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cannedbeefaroni · 1 year
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Fuck it i'm doing my own Edward Nashton NSFW headcanons
i need to put my hot takes into the world you all must hear this:
I do not think he's a virgin. I think he's had sex before but it probably sucked. I'd imagine he was sick of not getting any action, so he payed for an escort to take his virginity. After doing so, he realized that having sex didn't fundamentally change anything, and he was still the same sack of shit he felt like before
He most definitely edates. 100%. At the very least I'd imagine he did so in the late 2000's and early 2010's, but gave up because he didn't feel like his relationships would go anywhere beyond being online. He most likely is better at sexting and phone sex over doing literally anything physical.
He is either gay or bi/pan/poly/omni. I cannot imagine this guy being straight.
He is a switch. Either extremely submissive or extremely dominant. No in between whatsoever.
He is obsessed with sucking dick/pussy. Mans just wants to put his mouth on some genitals. He will crawl on his hands and knees, whimpering and begging to give head.
He has a panty/underwear fetish. He's the kind of person who will steal someone's underwear from their laundry to sniff and use as a cumrag.
He's into voyeurism. He enjoys watching people have sex, masturbate, undress, you name it. He also masturbates in public bathrooms and honestly where ever he can, to fulfill his fantasies of having sex in public. He's a bit of a creep like that
I feel like a lot of girls would think he's cute and flirt with him, but he always reject them coldly because he thinks they're trying to toy with him. Someone would have to be extremely forward and persistent to get him to understand that they want him.
I know there are people who will disagree with this, but I would like to think he'd last long in bed. Yeah, he could cum instantly, but he likes to painfully edge himself for hours to satisfy his partner.
This is a given but he watches a fuck ton of porn and masturbates everyday, sometimes multiple times.
He's got a nasty big gigantic fat long penis. Its got veins and ridges. That shit would be flopping and smacking against his stomach when he gets fucked in the ass. he gets shy when his partner points out his monster cock.
He has a pudgy stomach and a fat fupa. also his ass is gargantuan.
He would kill himself just to shove his face in some boobs for a mere few seconds. He needs to touch boobs or else he will die.
Ok here's some more serious and sad headcanons:
If he ever gets a sincerely loving partner, he honestly would probably start reevaluating his life choices. Finding a purpose in life through feeling genuine love would change him forever. It wouldn't fix him, obviously, but it would give him the smallest sliver of hope, which feels so impossible for him. I doubt he'd actually change for the better, but I think he'd gain some self reflection.
He's codependent and actually prefers not to date or have sex in fear of being hurt. He gets attached to people way too easily and mediates it by not even giving himself the chance.
If his partner found out he was the riddler and hated him for it, he would spiral deeper and become worse.
if his partner liked that he was the riddler, he'd probably gain a massive ego and become obsessed with them to the point of the relationship becoming destructive.
And one for good luck:
That riddler costume STINKS. He probably would fuck someone in it BUT NOT ME. He opens his jacket and it smells like the worlds worst fart. If ur into the costume then get a clothes pin for your nose and good luck soldier.
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How I would describe John x Arthur
Toxic(ish)-Destructive-Queerplatonic-but-also-kinda-romantic-Codependent-Wholesome(at times)-but-they-argue-a-fuck-ton?????? (Like they can't survive without each other but they're also not surviving healthily with each other)
In other words :
Divorced.
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chellodello · 8 months
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I just think it’s neat that the worst thing Dib and Zim could do to the other is be kind to them. That, like, their relationship has always been a feedback loop of ‘you give me attention and I give you attention and we both get what we need: Validation.’ Being antagonistic toward each other is Safe. Distant. It gets the job done but it’s not personal. Zim can fight any alien and Dib can hunt any cryptid. They can still find validation elsewhere. But the moment one reaches out and gives the other positive attention it’s over: the world has narrowed it can only be each other. They're both so starved of softness and being touched, treated like they matter, that if one of them makes that leap into positive feedback there's no going back to neutral antagonism. The only way to get positive attention is to give positive attention: codependency at its finest. Mutually assured destruction. It’s both of their nightmare scenarios and it’s the only way forward. Absolutely deranged, do not involve anyone else in whatever you’ve got going on here boys :)
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lily-orchard · 6 months
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going anon for this since the option is there rn and I'm not sure I wanna have it associated with my account.
the whole discussion around sex and sleeze in media honestly seems complicated and difficult to fully unpack.
to kind of give my two cents about it, I'm specifically very unhappy about the way sex seems to be viewed and dealt with in a lot of transfeminine spaces currently. there's the notion that sexual liberation is a good thing, which on a basic level I agree with, but the concept of a healthy relationship kind of seems to fall to the wayside if it isn't downright frowned upon. I'm all for exploring your sexuality, even the messy parts, but I think there's a distinction between encouraging self-acceptance and actively pushing people away from healing and towards toxic codependence, which I do see a lot, and I'm kind of scared to say anything about it because (not entirely without reason to be fair) a lot of people see criticising trans women's sexual expression in any way as transmisogynist.
I don't think it's entirely fair to say puritanism isn't around anymore - sure, the original movement has mostly died, but the christian sin moralism behind it is still definitely present in the culture and there's definitely a current if people trying to wipe out what they see as deviancy.
the double standard that seems to exist is that stuff like Game of Thrones or Euphoria goes almost entirely unremarked upon by anyone, while smaller and more marginalised creators and just marginalised people in general have that puritan current weaponised against them.
and so I kind of feel torn between these currents, either telling me to stay fully on the straight and narrow (and often go after anyone who seems to stray, like people have done to you) or to indulge in suffering and sleeze and never dare to try to actually say something meaningful about it.
I like fucked up art. I like making fucked up art. it can be extremely cathartic. but I feel like a lot of people aren't going to it for catharsis, they're going to it to feel cool or to hurt themselves. there's so many people I've seen bragging about how messed up they totally are, and it's just extremely hollow. it's kind of a very juvenile attitude. porn and sex in general for a lot of people is seemingly just about the kick, the ability to get off, and connection is seen as an obstacle where to me sex is a way to express that connection and the connection is the real point.
a lot of people criticise wholesome art of being mindless, unrealistic escapism but I think fucked up art can be just as mindlessly escapist, in a very destructive way. a friend of mine recently talked about this fallacy a lot of people seem to have, not even necessarily consciously, that because learning new things is often a painful experience and learning new things is usually good, painful experiences are inherently good and enriching, when in reality they often aren't.
I just want art to be creatively interesting and compelling, be it wholesome or messed up or even a mix of both. I don't feel like that should be an unpopular viewpoint, but it kind of seems like it is.
Okay there's a lot to unpack here, so let's go one at a time.
I'm specifically very unhappy about the way sex seems to be viewed and dealt with in a lot of transfeminine spaces currently. there's the notion that sexual liberation is a good thing, which on a basic level I agree with, but the concept of a healthy relationship kind of seems to fall to the wayside if it isn't downright frowned upon. I'm all for exploring your sexuality, even the messy parts, but I think there's a distinction between encouraging self-acceptance and actively pushing people away from healing and towards toxic codependence, which I do see a lot, and I'm kind of scared to say anything about it because (not entirely without reason to be fair) a lot of people see criticising trans women's sexual expression in any way as transmisogynist.
You aren't wrong, and it brushes up against a problem across the entire spectrum.
Cishet society calls us perverts, and some people think that embracing that and seeking refuge in audacity is somehow "taking power back." It's not a great coping strategy, honestly.
The thing about sexual liberation is that Catholics treat "sexual liberation" as "the complete breakdown of all morals" and a lot of us interpret it the same way. To be sexually liberated is to break out the whips and chains and go nuts. But the thing is: Prudes will still exist in a sexually liberated society.
Because sexual liberation is finding your own relationship with sex outside of the influence of others. That means not being influenced by Catholics who tell you sex is terrible and you should feel bad for wanting it, AND hypersexual kinksters telling you sex is the best thing ever and you should feel bad for not wanting it.
To use a simile: Laws mandating women where full coverings is oppression, but laws banning the burka is ALSO oppression.
This is an aspect of sexual liberation that a lot of people either haven't figured out or haven't accepted. You go at what's comfortable for you. Kinky or Vanilla? Both is fine. 2 hour marathon fucking or 7 minute quickie? Both is fine. Highly active sex live or having sex once a season? Both is fine.
I don't think it's entirely fair to say puritanism isn't around anymore - sure, the original movement has mostly died, but the christian sin moralism behind it is still definitely present in the culture and there's definitely a current if people trying to wipe out what they see as deviancy.
The problem is those things are just "Prudishness" or "Conservative." But that doesn't sound as dramatic and intense as "Puritanical." The Puritans would view modern Conservatives as decadent sluts, my dude/dudette/friend.
"Puritan" is just a more dramatic phrase than "Prude." Assholes used to just call people Prudes, but that wasn't getting them anywhere. "Purity Culture" refers to the indoctrination of Christian cults. Now assholes are using it to refer to people who think siblings fucking is gross.
and so I kind of feel torn between these currents, either telling me to stay fully on the straight and narrow (and often go after anyone who seems to stray, like people have done to you) or to indulge in suffering and sleeze and never dare to try to actually say something meaningful about it.
Well ya know... you COULD say something meaningful about it. I've written stories with suffering that said something meaningful about it. I've written stories with sleaze that said something meaningful about it. That second one failed, but I digress. I've written stories about suffering for a long time. I've gone through the phase of wallowing in the mud and claiming something truly fucked up was "cathartic" and "therapy."
Then I went to actual therapy. I've been through this mire before. I know from experience that when someone says "Oh this is how I cope with Trauma" or "This is how I take power back from my abuser" that it's a load of self-destructive horseshit. Some of you guys were around for that self-destructive horseshit.
I like fucked up art. I like making fucked up art. it can be extremely cathartic. but I feel like a lot of people aren't going to it for catharsis, they're going to it to feel cool or to hurt themselves. there's so many people I've seen bragging about how messed up they totally are, and it's just extremely hollow. it's kind of a very juvenile attitude.
It's juvenile, but it comes from a misguided place. Again, I was there. When I was 16, I made "I have no stable mental health and no positive relationships in my life" into my identity. It was simultaneously a misguided attempt to reclaim my own trauma, but also just a cynical resigning to my own fate. I sincerely did not believe thinks could get better.
The biggest mistake I made during this time was I had one positive relationship in my life, and I ripped it apart gleefully because I believe "well it's gonna happen anyway, better that it happen of my own volition."
I regretted it for years, until about a few months ago.
Tumblr's mere existence has only made this habit in teenagers and young adults worse as now there's an environment where people can one-up each other and create a feedback loop of bullshit. So you have people who need therapy giving advice to other people who need therapy. Like if Sylvanas Windrunner opened a counselling service.
a lot of people criticise wholesome art of being mindless, unrealistic escapism but I think fucked up art can be just as mindlessly escapist, in a very destructive way.
The reason a lot of people do this is because they don't want their own personal narrative to be contradicted. They call it unrealistic because to them 'better' doesn't exist. They've wrapped themselves so deeply in a self-destructive habit that the idea that they aren't helping themselves or reclaiming anything is too emotionally devastating to handle.
It's that "let's watch them get worse" mentality. Watching them get worse is preferable to some people because watching people get better implicitly says to them "What's stopping you?" The fact that a lot of mental health issues can be much easier to manage than people like to think is itself a reality they don't want to accept.
I just want art to be creatively interesting and compelling, be it wholesome or messed up or even a mix of both. I don't feel like that should be an unpopular viewpoint, but it kind of seems like it is.
A lot of people don't want art to have a point because they don't want it to say something they don't like. They don't want their "yum" to be "yucked" by you getting your analytical cooties all over the place. If you made fucked up art that was introspective on the topics it covered, the people who went in wanting something fucked up for the sake of being fucked up are going to be mad about it. And them being mad is kinda half the point in the first place.
The truth of the matter is that so long as those people are allowed to run around ruining art uncontested, art is going to get worse and worse. The only real solution is to just make the fucked up art that actually has a sensible point to make.
Make a story about a cannibal serial killer that's more true to real life where they're a gross nutcase and decidedly NOT sexy.
Make a story about a vampire that doesn't romanticize the predatory aspect of the myth.
Make a story about someone with a sibling complex that ends with them going to therapy and recovering.
Fake the reader/viewer out to make them think they're getting one thing when in reality they're getting a message.
Of course... you'll piss off everyone doing that. Normal people will think you just made cheap sleaze and won't read it, and the nutcases will be mad you didn't make cheap sleaze. Have fun.
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eskawrites · 13 days
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I have seen a bit of discussion on the stobin codependency/the way fans talk abt their relationship and I wanted to know your opinion. I think you are one of the authors that always manages to write it best bc you show how dangerous it can be, the negative consequences of it and you don't reduce robin's character to steve's extension or their dynamic as the only thing ever.
You don't have to answer but I am curious abt your pov bc I really love the way you write the characters.
aw thank you anon! this is very kind and i will try to come up with a smart and thoughtful answer for you, although truth be told most of my thoughts on stobin are just me rambling in a word doc to myself until i have enough notes for a story lol
i guess the biggest thing for me is that, in fandom spaces (and i suppose in online spaces/younger communities in general maybe) codependency has come to mean a couple different things? there's codependent as in 'codependent besties, bonded pair, do not separate, they're platonic soulmates and their lives have been helplessly intertwined since time began' kind of thing, which is of course fun to see and read and write for characters. but there's also, like, the psychological concept of codependency, which often involves controlling behavior or enabling self-destruction like addiction and stuff (i should put a disclaimer here that i'm not by any means a psychological professional and all of this post is, of course, simply my perspective)
we all like viewing stobin as codependent besties because that's what they are in the show, and honestly who doesn't love a little trauma bonding? but the thing is, the line between codependent besties and actual, unhealthy codependent behavior can be really thin. i think it's interesting to write and read what happens when that line blurs and the dynamic shifts into something unhealthy (like in my celebrity fake dating au, where 'you're the only one who understands me' turns into 'i can't face life without you' turns into a very limited support system and simultaneous destructive spirals). however, i do think that online discussions and perspectives of steve and robin can sort of mimic that blurring of the line in some way, which then leads to fans viewing stobin's dynamic as the only thing ever, like you said. and honestly, if platonic stobin is the most important thing to you and it's all you ever want to write and talk about, then hey, you do you. have fun with it
as for not reducing robin to steve's extension, yeah. i think it's very often a combination of the above and the tendency for male characters get more attention both in canon and in fandom. i also click out of posts/fics/etc that do that. but then, i tend not to read anything that isn't centered on robin, nancy, or ronance in the first place lol. and to be completely fair, you could probably argue that i tend to reduce steve to robin's extension in my writing, because i am simply more interested in robin (and female characters in general), so that's what I end up prioritizing in my fic
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simplysedusa · 2 months
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General Rowdyruff Boy Headcanons I Plan to Incorporate Into My Fic(s)
Both Butch and Boomer are musically inclined (Boomer preferring the guitar, while Butch sticks to the drums) and are pretty good singers. Brick, on the other hand, is completely tone deaf and has yet to realize it (thus crushing Butch's secret fantasy of becoming a rock band called "The Rowdyrock Boys").
Brick's guilty pleasures are boy groups ever since the events of IDW #10 Comic.
Both Butch and Boomer are also athletes in school; Boomer focuses more on team sports (football, basketball, soccer) while Butch plays more individualized sports (swimming, wrestling, gymnastics). Brick thinks he's too cool to play for a school or organization (and if he can't lead, then what's the point).
Everyone assumes Boomer's the nicest, but he's not, he's just the more outgoing, charming extrovert brother out of the three.
The actual nicest brother is Butch, he's the least likely to hurt/harass/threaten a random bystander without provocation, and is surprisingly (and somewhat eerily) chill when not in the company of his brothers.
Butch had the most codependent tendencies, and was often a reluctant yes man to his brothers (mostly Brick).
Brick is dyslexic, it took Ms. Keane a week to realize while home-schooling him.
With the boys being adopted by Ms. Keane, Brick takes the longest to warm up to her. He's very wary of and cold towards authoritative figures, ESPECIALLY parental figures.
After Boomer's done antagonizing her, he becomes the first to open up to Ms. Keane.
Valentino warmed up to Brick first, however. Butch became rather jealous at the fact.
After many instances of hair pulling, and an incident involving Butch, Boomer, and a whole pack of chewed chewing gum, Brick decides to keep his hair shorter.
Brick's the best and most experienced cook out of the three.
A part of Mojo truly does care for the Rowdyruff Boys, but it's not healthy. He's much too obsessive, as if they were his property or weapons of mass destruction.
Boomer has the power of electrokinesis. He's able to "charge up" with nearly any electrical device or lightning itself, and also charge/power down electrical devices. Too much electricity in his system causes him to shock others unprovoked or "short-circuit". This came in handy with their ankle monitors during their house arrest, and at school where he caused power outages that resulted in early dismissals. The most he's ever absorbed (so far) had caused an entire blackout in the city of Townsville (Butch was beating him at an arcade game).
Boomer later discovers (with the help of Blossom) that he can act as a defibrillator to the Powerpuffs and Rowdyruffs in a pinch (I originally got the idea from @faeerrie).
Butch's ability to generate force fields has progressed to the point that he can generate force fields around other people/items not including himself. He discovered this during one of Brick's training regimens when he threatened to destroy Butch's possessions until Butch was able to pull it off.
Butch's force fields though require a lot of focus on Butch's end, especially if he's protecting something other than himself.
Butch can also move items/people while in his force field.
Despite no longer aiming to kill the Powerpuff Girls, Brick still held secret training sessions at night. They couldn't afford to get sloppy in case they had to protect themselves against the girls (or Mojo and/or HIM, which was his main concern).
Brick doesn't have a unique power, just like Buttercup. Since their Chemical X cells aren't working harder to produce new powers, this allows for these two (and spoiler alert: Brat) to be just a little bit faster, a little bit stronger, and a little more endurable than their siblings.
However, like the Powerpuff Girls, the boys have shared telepathy. They're able to communicate with themselves internally, but only if all three are within a certain distance and if all three are "willing".
Boomer was often the neglected kid of the trio while under Mojo's and/or HIM's "care".
Boomer managed to hide a Beebo in the house for years. He named them "Bob".
Initially, the Rowdyruff Boys and the Gangreen Gang had a frenemy type relationship. The gang felt like the boys were too similar to the Powerpuffs, and attempted to manipulate them into their bidding. Meanwhile, the boys thought the gang was kinda cool, but also a little lame.
They later bond with the Gangreen Gang post- Gorillaz era when they learn that Grubber and Billy are illegally taking care of a Beebo themselves, and that they're cool with Mitch.
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