#they're not very good but at least i had fun making them

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

No Hard Feelings - Carlos Sainz Jr

Dark fic - if you don't like this or the warnings/themes make you uncomfortable. I can't stress this enough, DO NOT READ THIS

Summary: Lewis said there's no hard feelings between them. These things happen in life. So when Lewis' girlfriend just so happens to cheat on him with Carlos, there's no hard feelings there either? After all these things happen.

Sidenote: There is some sweet and genuinely caring moments from Carlos but his motive is still to hurt Lewis.

Warnings/themes: Manipulation/coercion, cheating, smut, revenge, very naive!reader

No part 2 requests please

The world knows Carlos is hurting and he's on a mission to get another seat before the end of the season, preferably before the end of the month would be great but that's fairly optimistic.

Really he knows he can't blame Lewis. But the feelings of hatred and rage that fill him when he sees the Brit are surely warranted. He would've had that contract in the bag if it wasn't for that twat. All he needed was for Ferrari to keep him that one season before 2026 and his Audi contract was there. Could Lewis not have just waited?

Now Carlos is aware that bringing an innocent bystander into the mess and drama of F1 isn't fair. Especially when that said bystander is Lewis' girlfriend.

Y/n y/l/n.

Oh she's perfect. Young, innocent, a real sweetheart.

Not really the type most would imagine Lewis going for. He's usually after the bold, confident and loud type. Y/n is very softly spoken and her sweet nature seems to make her almost Bambi-like, which couldn't make her anymore of a perfect match for Carlos really.

Carlos has spoken to her enough times that he thinks it's safe to say they're friends, she's so polite and seems to just have perfected how to be the perfect woman. At least in Carlos' opinion.

So he'd really like to have her for himself.

And as if y/n was summoned by the universe to help his plan along.

"Y/n, hey." Carlos greets jogging to catch up with the young woman.

"Hi, Carlos." Y/n grins always happy to just be alongside anyone.

"Where's Lewis?"

"Oh, he's not here today. He's actually sort of ill so he's been excused from media duties for the day." Y/n smiles sadly making him frown. "I know I shouldn't be here, but he's not very nice when he's sick and he said I was getting in the way and smothering him. So...I just though I'd be alright coming here."

Is the universe finally favouring him? This is too perfect.

"That's not very nice of him." Carlos frowns making her shrug. "You can spend the day with me if you want, get a sneak peak at Ferrari."

"I don't know..." Y/n winces trying to be polite but clearly she's trying to be smart.

"Come on, I promise you will be in such a good mood by the end of the day. You have my word." Carlos states making her sigh before she groans and tilts her head for a moment. "Come on, it will be fun. I promise."

"Mmm..." Y/n smiles before seeming to move over with a small nod and smile. "Ok. It does sound like you're making big promises though."

"Ah, don't doubt me though. I will follow through on it." Carlos grins watching her mirror his expression.

-

Y/n really wasn't sure what to expect but Carlos really pulled out all the stops, he got her a jacket when she was cold, he let her sit in the Ferrari which was her first time ever getting to sit in an F1 car and he made sure she was eating.

"You should come to dinner with me." Carlos states as they finally reach the end of the day.

"Now I might really be pushing it." Y/n giggles since she is sure Lewis will be asking questions. The man can be quite jealous but equally, he's the one who was mean enough for her to feel like she needed to leave.

"We have to a have proper ending to our day." Carlos smiles then deciding that he may need to pull in aid. "If you don't want it to be just us then we could bring Lando? He's never got plans."

"He doesn't?"

"No." Carlos nods before pausing. "I will go double check and then we can figure out where we're going."

"No. No. It's fine. We're adults." Y/n states shaking her head quickly.

Carlos looks at her for a moment because it really seems like she's trying to convince herself that this is all fine more than himself.

When they get to dinner, Carlos is watching her carefully uncertain of what she's going to do but while at first she was pretty talkative and eager then toward the end she's gone quiet and seems at a bit of a loss.

"Dessert?" Carlos making her hesitant since they did ask for dessert menus and y/n initially looked really eager but something changes.

"No. I'm full. Thank you though." Y/n smiles closing the menu. "Need to stop my eyes being too big for my belly."

"What if we split it? That way you still get dessert but you don't have to feel too full."

"Ok, that sounds good." Y/n nods biting her lip a little.

And so they get a cheesecake of her choice before splitting it, though Carlos make sure it's slightly more than him.

"I'll walk you back." Carlos states making her smile at him.

"You're very sweet."

"You think?"

"Yes." Y/n mumbles almost shyly while Carlos links their hands and smiles brightly at her, especially watching her get a little flustered over his action.

"You know...I could treat you very good." Carlos states deciding to just put it out there. "I think we'd be good together."

Y/n can't even manage an "oh" she's just stunned to silence but Carlos picked his moment well and she's left at Lewis' hotel door with a kiss on her cheek and Carlos walking away leaving his words to marinate.

Y/n stands at the hotel door for long enough that George appears and knocks her to her senses.

"You alright?" George chuckles noticing her completely out of it.

"Y-Yeah, just...tired and Lewis is ill so I don't know if I want to go back in there." Y/n smiles before she swallows thickly and looks at him for a moment. "I'll see you tomorrow, Georgie."

"Bye, y/n." George smiles though when she steps into the room he sighs shaking his head.

In a fairly universal opinion, Lewis and y/n are ill-matched to say the least. While Lewis is a kind, caring and happy man, he's not good at handling y/n's slightly younger and much more naive personality. It's not that they're a bad couple, it's just any time you see them it feels wrong that they're together.

"Lewis?" Y/n calls walking into the hotel room to find him up and seemingly ready for a workout. "What's...going on?"

"I feel better, I was going to hit the gym. Are you coming?"

"O-Oh yeah, I'll join in." Y/n nods before she finds him walking towards her, inked hands cupping her face.

"I'm sorry for earlier, it wasn't nice to be horrible to you when you were just trying to help me feel better." Lewis sighs quickly pecking her lips. "What did you do all day?"

"I...I went to the paddock, just kept myself busy. A few of the other drivers noticed I was on my own so they kept me company a bit."

"That's nice."

"Yeah...Anyway, I'll just change then we can go." Y/n mumbles making him smile and kiss her again.

-

Carlos had been in her head, and every time she saw him he was already looking at her. The internal panic was like a fire in her chest.

Somehow her attempts at avoiding him were nothing but failure and she found herself almost constantly bumping into him, small touches on her waist were making her focus far too much. Somehow he'd even managed to get close enough to be whispering in her ear.

Carlos has gotten more ballsy and unapologetic in his attempts to get in her head and much to her shame, it's very effective.

It's even earned Lewis' attention and he's not exactly happy about it.

So confronting Carlos was hard, and she had to do it when Lewis was guaranteed to be busy. So...while he's asleep.

Creeping out the hotel and moving around to get herself to Carlos' hotel and then to his room isn't exactly a simple task but she manages it, knocking on his door for a few minutes before Carlos appears very much freshly awoken and half naked.

"Y/n?" Carlos smirks clearly feeling fairly amused by her presence. "What can I help you with?"

"You-you have to stop. Lewis is getting upset. You-You whisper in my ear and you're always touching me." Y/n stresses walking in the room as he slowly closes the door walking to follow her but with her back turns, he takes the opportunity.

"Do you tell him what I say?" Carlos questions making her swallow as he pulls her back against himself, hands holding her tightly as he moves a hand up to her neck gently tipping her head back as he kisses her neck.

"N-No."

"What do you think he'd say if he knew?"

Y/n doesn't even get a word out.

"You're not even trying to stop me, y/n. I bet if I got you on that bed or bent you over, you'd let me have whatever I want from you." Carlos state while she whimpers.

He's been waiting, slowly making her want him and while she thinks she's been making the effort to avoid him. He's noticed her constantly looking for him.

"You can't even force yourself to say no." Carlos chuckles before he decides to be quick, there is still the risk of her coming to her sense. Her morals may have yet to risk to the surface and only be delayed by jet lag.

He's got her underdressed kneeling on the sofa, resting her arms on the back in less than a minute. Wasting time is not going to be on his agenda for finally hitting the nail into the coffin of winning her over. Or if no winning her over then at least ending the relationship between her and Lewis.

"What do you want?" Carlos questions making her stutter on a breath.

"I-I want you."

"Good. Because you've got me." Carlos smirks running his hand down between her legs and feeling enough wetness to be more accurately called a waterfall.

Usually he'd be one to indulge in foreplay but on this occasion he's still not aiming to waste time. Plus he can always enjoy that part in the morning. He intends for her to find it a struggle to get out of bed anyway.

"Carlos." Y/n whimpers, her body pliable with his touch and when he pushes into her.

He know his reasons for doing this are less than flattering on his character, but he ever thought his name could ever sound that good from her lips. She's already pulsing around him from the sudden intrusion but he can't wait to give her time to adjust as much as he wants to.

The feeling of her wrapped around him so tightly. An unhinged feral side to him, as if her can't get deep enough or far enough into her. His hands surely have a bruising grip on her waist but her moans aren't giving away any pain. At least no pain that isn't at least accompanied by equal amounts of pleasure.

Y/n is drown by her orgasm, her body rigid as every nerve ending is hit with an amount of pleasure they leaves her spasming around him. Only Carlos isn't nearly done and he won't allow himself the finish until he feels like y/n is at least half way to gone.

He wants her half way to a lost voice and unaware of her surroundings.

Y/n body begins to try and squeeze her thigh together in an attempt to control herself in some way, only for Carlos' hand to come down, lifting her and forcing them apart, earning a moan as one hand reaches further brushing her clit which sends a shoot of electricity through her. The quickly tightening reaction around his cock only making him push deeper into her. Her voice getting lost as she tries to find some way to ground herself, nails actually poking holes into the upholstery.

She's only halfway recovered from her first orgasm when Carlos sits moving her over to straddle him before practically slamming her down on himself.

"Carlos." Y/n pants the fullness from a new angle whines a hand going up to his thick locks, a slight burn of his scalp from the tugging but it only adds to that lack of control he's maintaining over himself. He really can't help the brutal pace he's setting for both of them.

He actually thinks he could go all night when she cums again, the wetness almost enough to be splashing them both.

By the time he has her on the bed, she's about folded in half and the puffiness of her pussy from his unending appetite is beginning to feel addictive. The position gives him all access to rubbing and pinching her clit while leaning down and kissing, marking and Another orgasm that seems to be bordering on the fine line of pleasure and pain from overstimulation makes her moan in a way that sends him over the edge.

When he cums he feels her absolutely milking it from him before he finally releases her legs still feeling her spasm around him in the aftershocks of her orgasm.

"Ah ah." Y/n winces as Carlos slowly eases out of her.

The sight of his cum leaking out of her is almost enough to get him hard again but he manages to tear his gaze from her pussy up to her face, leaning over her and capturing her in a kiss that she eagerly and needily returns.

Y/n is in a coating of sweat, quite similar to himself.

"Can you get up?" Carlos asks making her wince just at the though.

A very weak nod is managed in answer before she finds herself gently pulled up and very much held tightly as he supports her weight, getting them both into the shower where he cleans her up with a much more soft touch than she'd just been treated with.

-

Neither discussed the matter of their actions, y/n is very much latched onto him as she sleeps. Her hold on him almost impressive.

Carlos sighs playing with her strands of hair as she sleeps against him.

She really is the most innocent and sweet young woman. Although he can't possibly erase the image of her only hours ago. Her whole body is washed of the physical memory, unless you count the bruises from his hands. Was he really holding her that tightly?

His alarm went off a few minutes ago, but pulling himself away from the very much unconscious young woman is proving to be harder than he expected. Eventually he manages it with some detangling of her limbs and replacing himself with his pillows.

She stirs but not enough to wake and he showers quickly before dressing. He can't even stop himself from leaning over and stealing a kiss before going to leave, only...for an idea to pop into his mind. An evil one but an idea nonetheless.

Taking y/n's hotel card and putting her clothes under the mattress of the second bed. He wants her to be left with no options to be spotted.

-

Stealing joggers and being left with only an option of Ferrari branded clothes, y/n is hiccuping in a meltdown of tears and with her phone left in Lewis' room to make sure he couldn't find her. She's at a loss of things she can do.

Y/n pulls the hood up and uses stolen sunglasses to hide her face as much as possible but Charles of everyone spots and recognises her.

"Y/n! Where have you-"

Y/n's hand slaps over his mouth with a hissing shush ass he pushes him back between two units.

"Where is Lewis?" Y/n whispers making Charles look at her. "Oh for-Where's Carlos?"

"Why do you want-oh." Charles winces as he connections the dots of the silent question he'd wanted to ask about her choice of CS55 mercy. "Y/n..."

"Charles please. I just-I need to dodge Lewis and find Carlos." Y/n hiccups making him sigh. He really does not want to be involved in any drama between his present and future teammates, but y/n's desperation is pulling on his heart strings.

"Carlos is in the unit. Come with me." Charles nods offering his hand and pulling her quickly while she continues to try and hang herself.

He's takes her to Carlos' room where the other Ferrari driver is working out.

"You have a guest, I found her running through the paddock." Charles states catching attention from the Spaniard who stands up smiling at y/n with not apology in his expression. "I do not want to be involved."

"Amor, you look quite a sight." Carlos chuckles pulling the sunglasses off of her while Charles makes his exits after his very clear statement.

"Carlos, what-what we did-Lewis is going to be so upset."

"I see...you want to stay with him." Carlos sighs sadly, withdrawing from holding her making her lip tremble. "I will find you something to wear. He has been looking for you, asking everyone to be on the look out for you. You should speak with him."

"No-I-" Y/n chokes out, her panic in her voice very evident. Emotions overwhelming her but Carlos helps her out of the Ferrari hoodie and into an all white one.

"You should go. Lewis wants to see you and know you're ok."

"Carlos, please." Y/n sniffles trying to reach for him but he catches her hand between both of her own and gently pushes it back.

"See him. If last night is all I get with you, I understand and I respect that." Carlos states making her look at him for a moment before she rubs her eyes with the sleeves. "You can keep the joggers and hoodie."

There's hurt, he's hurting her but really he knows she'll be back. Not because of the sex but because he can see she's caught feelings for him even when she knows she should love someone else. At some point, and most likely soon it will come to a point that she can't keep lying to herself or to Lewis.

-

Lewis somehow bought the story that y/n had gone sleep walking and been found by another hotel goer who took her in for the night. A sweet old lady who'd apparently had a few drinks and was feeling charitable. Though she couldn't look Charles in the eye again since the only time she did while it being obvious that she'd gone back to Lewis and lied, he was not impressed with her for it.

Carlos however, she's even been caught in 4k looking at him longingly with tearful eyes.

Lewis has noticed things have been off with y/n, but it's only triggered jealousy from him. More possessiveness and a constant hovering over her. Thankfully when she lied about being on her period to try and dodge sex so he didn't spot the bruises from her night with Carlos, he didn't even question it.

It's almost amusing for Carlos to watch knowing that he's the threat and yet Lewis is under the false understanding that there is still no hard feelings between them.

Y/n sighs as she dips a carrot into some humous, watching Lewis and Roscoe on his sofa as Lewis looks at something on his phone the breaking point hits.

"I cheated on you." Y/n states breaking the silence which had otherwise been filled by Roscoe's heavy breathing.

"You what?" Lewis laughs not even believing that someone could cheat on him.

"I'm sorry...I tried to lie-I did lie. I've lied and I'm so sorry. But I can't keep doing this." Y/n mumbles shaking her head as tears well up. "I should've told you the truth from the moment it happened."

"When did it happen?"

"When...I went missing...I didn't sleep walk, I waited till you were asleep and I left."

Lewis just looks at her clearly visibly shocked.

"So what do you want?" Lewis questions making her look at him for a moment. "You want to leave."

"I'm sorry Lewis..."

"You should go then." Lewis states which makes her swallow thickly. "Do you need me to arrange a flight?"

"No. I'll handle it. I'll figure out a way to come get my stuff at some point too."

-

Lewis is far too old to be making public statements about a break up. He doesn't think his personal life is anything to do with the fans or public anyway.

Y/n disappeared anyway, and honestly it was hard seeing all her stuff laying around apartment while he waits for it to eventually disappear.

"I don't know if it's a good idea." Y/n mumbles as she sits in Carlos' house that is far from Monaco but instead near Madrid instead.

"I want you at the next race. I want you there. Who cares what other people have to say about it?" Carlos frowns then cupping her face. "I'm happy to finally have you for myself, amor. I want you with me always."

"But how will I look?"

"People hated you dating Lewis, people will hate you for not dating him." Carlos shrugs making her sigh and roll her eyes only to squeak when he smacks her ass. "Do not roll your eyes at me with that attitude. I only want to see them rolling when I'm between your legs, yes?"

"Carlos." Y/n gasps, the vulgarity of his words certainly shocking her.

"I mean it."

-

Carlos arriving with y/n immediately earned attention and Lando wasted 0.1 of a second just so he could get himself over to the two and shake his head.

"You are a bad man, Carlos." Lando laughs shaking his head before he smiles at y/n. "Hey, y/n."

"Hi, Lando." Y/n smiles nervously, as always trying to be polite but her grip on Carlos' hand is actually almost tight enough to be hurting him which is actually a little impressive.

"Alright, man we have to go but I will see you later." Carlos smiles since Lando wasn't the British man whose name begins with an L that he was really aiming to gain the attention of.

"We'll have to catch up later." Lando hums moving away looking very much amused and like he's about to go gossip with as many drivers will listen.

"Stop being so stressed." Carlos assures the young woman.

"Sorry...I am happy to be here with you. I swear." Y/n smiles making him hum managing to spin her before pulling her back against himself finally earning a laugh.

"Whatever I have to do to earn your smile. I will do it. Sí?"

"Sí." Y/n confirms before giggling then kissing him smiling when he shameless grabs her ass and when he opens his eyes feeling a burning gaze on then his teeth even nip at her bottom lip as he pulls away.

Lewis' dark eyes show are filled with a mixture of anger and hurt. A toxic combination. Carlos will have to be careful on track but somehow he can't find himself feeling guilty about it.

"Let's get go." Carlos smiles making her grin at him. None the wiser to their onlooker. "Come on."

-

"You stole his girlfriend." Lando sighs shaking his head as they walk to the truck for the driver's parade. "I can't believe it."

"I didn't steal anyone's anything. She chose me." Carlos shrugs then smirking. "These things happen and like he says, there's no hard feelings. It's not personal."

Lando just laughs shaking his head.

"She is a very sweet woman. Everyone knows they were wrong for each other."

"But she's right for you?"

"Well she certainly agrees with that and I want her more than he did."

And he did want her more, he wanted her whole being and he'll make sure that every single day for the rest of his life, he keeps her just to make sure Lewis can never have her again. Not that he thinks y/n could find it in herself to make such a walk of shame back to Lewis if the relationship did end.

Thankfully she seems to have gotten over her worries and guilt thanks to Carlos' constant effort to make sure she is too focused on him to give a fuck about anyone else.

#f1 #fanfic #formula 1 #dark!carlos sainz #dark carlos saint #dark!f1 #dark!fic #dark f1 #dark f1 fic #dark fic #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz smut #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz fic #carlos sainz one shot #carlos sainz 55 #carlos sainz imagine #cs55 x reader #cs55 imagine #cs55 #cs55 fic #cs55 x you #cs55 smut #f1 smut #f1 one shot #f1 fanfic #ferrari #forza ferrari #f1 fic

[swans-chirping-in-the-distance]

Headcannons for sokeefe when they have children

AHHH OKAY OKAY

Keefe is like terrified. Like he cries sm before he first kid is born. He is so scared he's gonna be like his own parents. But once he sees that kid he just...he just knows he's gonna be there for them no matter what. And he is.

Sophie is so scared, but only one of them can be scared at a time. So during her (peaceful elvin) pregnancy, she's pretty relaxed, convincing Keefe he'll do a good job. After the kid is born, however, it's her turn to panic. Keefe comforts her.

Their kids are so sweet. Very emotionally mature. These two KNOW how to raise kids. They will NOT be going through what they had to.

Keefe takes the kids for ice cream and teaches them art (Sophie can't art it's so bad actually)

Keefe takes them to do fun stuff that's not irresponsible

They both take the kids outside a lot

They aren't too strict or relaxed. They're not strict enough to be super big on "No dating until *this* age" but also not saying that some super dangerous reckless kid is good enough for them. Their kids have good heads on their shoulders because they're advised but can make their own mistakes.

Sophie cooks. Keefe physically cannot cook.

Keefe doesn't usually get mad, just disappointed. When they're rude though he's mad.

Keefe has never yelled at them in a serious tone. Like he's loud as hell but when they're in trouble he doesn't yell. He talks to them.

They both explain things to their kids, not just say "because I said so"

He notices minor expressions about his kids and talks to them privately- he stopped yelling out feelings in front of people.

He never uses his abilities on them. Ever.

Their kids can bring someone home and he'll act all "if you ever hurt my kid-" and then laughs and is like "jk hi welcome!!" And his kids' s.o.'s are like "so you won't hurt me if I hurt your kid??" and he's like "haha no my kid will :D" and his kid smiles

They constantly go to the beach

And Havenfield

Home is very important to them. They're open.

Sophie is still really fun

She teaches her kids to make pies and play her little human games and teaches them a love of reading

They play family board games

She takes her kids to parks and just talks with them yk

When Sophie's mad she's gotten used to not really yelling because of being married to Keefe, but she's still terrifying. Death glare of all time.

Keefe and Sophie love their kids. They're sad when they go to school but at least they have each other

The Sarcasm Family(TM)

Side note not about kids- since Sophie and Keefe are both Polyglots, they banter in different languages

They teach their kids to fight

Their kids know a little bit about the war, but very little about the sad stuff. Just enough to know the basis but that they're glad they're not there.

"Go take a shower!" "no quiero!" "残念な。残りの私たちはあなたの匂いを嗅いで苦しまなければなりません。" "คุณหมายถึง" "troppu boffu" "Მიყვარხარ?" "Mhm. Love you too."

*Google translate is my friend sorry if it's wrong lmao*

#I LOVE THIS ASK I DID NOT PUT ENOUGH IN THIS BUT #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #keefe sencen #sophie foster #sokeefe

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @phoenixradiant!

OC Interview

I've been seeing people do two characters at once, so I'll do Sepo and Izjik as a pair :)

.

Are you named after anyone?

Izjik: "My name is a common one where I'm from, but I don't think I was named after anyone specific, no."

Sepo: "If I was, my mother croaked before she could tell me."

When was the last time you cried?

Izjik: "I dropped a bag of hammers on my foot at work the other day and spirits, they probably heard be about ten miles over!"

Sepo: "I don't cry."

Izjik: "Yes the fuck you do? Broody bastard. I saw you tearing up when we went and saw that new band. You cried last time you had to deal with the bounty guild because the guild leader makes you so damn angry. I know for a fact you get weepy every time you get so much as three drinks in you."

Sepo: "...no comment. Bitch."

Do you have kids?

Sepo: "You'd fucking think we do looking after Twenari. And she's not even half the trouble Djek is - and he's a grown-ass man."

Izjik: "Cut him some slack, he's like nineteen. But yeah, two kids pretty much. I've even been to a PTA meeting! That makes me certified parental material!"

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Sepo: "Nooo, never..."

Izjik: "Low hanging fruit, my guy. I'm usually not sarcastic, though - it's not my style."

What is the first thing you notice about people?

Izjik: "If they're going to try to kill and eat me."

Sepo: "Ditto. Then I move on to what makes them annoying."

Izjik: "You're so negative, you know that? My second impression is their hands. You can tell a lot about a person based on their hands."

What is your eye color?

Izjik: "Kind of a blue gray? Slate, Twenari calls it."

Sepo: "Sirens all have eyes of black."

Izjik: "And a good thing to, given how stupid big your pupils are."

Sepo: "The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Izjik: "If you had blue eyes, you'd look kinda silly is what I mean."

Scary movies or happy endings?

Sepo: "Scary, though it takes a lot to phase me."

Izjik: "Bullshit, you jump every time the camera angle changes. I like scary too, but with happy endings. Things can get bad, yeah, but it's always good to see folks making it out in the end."

Any special talents?

Izjik: "I can do a one-handed pushup!"

Sepo: "That's because one of your hands hardly works."

Izjik: "You're just a hater because you can't do one. That can be your special talent - being a hater."

Sepo: "Yes, fine, let's brush over my musical composition abilities and skills in veterinary medicine. My true special talent is being a hater."

Izjik: "Damn straight."

Where were you born?

Izjik: "The enclave of Edeme’eneha, deep in the N'Diki swamp. I think it was a lovely place to grow up, all in all. I really miss it sometimes."

Sepo: "I was born in a brothel basement in the Ulahdrian capital city of Seluthena, the largest metropolis beneath the waves. I... I also miss it sometimes."

Do you have any pets?

Izjik: "Nah. I never really got the concept of an animal you don't eat."

Sepo: "Landhorse is more of a business partner. She gets me where I need to be, and in exchange, I give her food, shelter, and pet her sweet nose from time to time. She's the best of horses, a gentlewoman among beasts."

What sort of sports do you play?

Izjik: "Does fighting for fun count? There's this bar I like where I can always get into a scrap if I'm looking for one. I think people have started placing bets every time I walk in."

Sepo: "I would go on cross-country camping trips when I was a teen in the Saryimastra Seat. That involved swimming for a few days at least, so I suppose it could be a sport. I found it very relaxing, escaping from all the noise and fuss of the temple. Sometimes Saius would go with me, but usually, I'd go off on my own."

How tall are you?

Izjik: "Tall enough to skin my fist on your teeth, lanky ass!"

Sepo: "You are five foot two. I'm six foot five. I really don't think you are."

What was your favorite subject in school?

Izjik: "I never went, but I liked learning how to set snares during my apprenticeship. It was the only thing I'd sit still for. Looking back, maybe that's why Dzako had me learn so many."

Sepo: "My education was rather... propaganda-filled. Most of the history I enjoyed learning turned out to be false. A lot of the books I read were horribly censored, though I didn't know it at the time. I suppose music. You can twist the words and intentions of music to whatever aims you wish, but the heart of it is always pure."

What is your dream job?

Izjik: "I mean, whatever gets me paid and let's me work outside. I heard Twenari talking once about these people called potion hunters? Apparently, they hunt magical plants and animals for alchemists to use in their work. That sounds like a hell of a lot of fun!"

Sepo: "I've... This is going to sound stupid, but I've always wanted to compose my own songs. In Ulahdris, music was strictly regulated and created by the church. But here on the surface? It's chaos. Any asshole with a kazoo can play whatever he wants. I... Oh, it's all nonsense anyways. I'm fine doing what I need to in order to survive."

Izjik: "You've gotta let yourself live a little, Sepo. I'd love to hear your music!"

Sepo: "Truly? Then... Then perhaps someday, I'll work up the courage."

.

World's most married platonic soulmates, for real. I'll tag @kaylinalexanderbooks @mk-writes-stuff @sleepyowlwrites @corinneglass and anyone else who wants to play :)

#writing #writerscommunity #writblr #my ocs #oc interview

[dolokhoded]

my one season 4 complaint is Where The Fuck Was Aneesa

#never have i ever #i really wish her and fabiola had stayed together them not working out didn't rlly serve any purpose to the plot for the new season #fabiola's new relationship was barely rlaborated upon. as expected. #and aneesa was basically written out she was barely even part of the group #plus that scene of them at the staircase talking about fab's robotics team. they still have so much chemistry and they were literally just #talking about robotics #i understand she's not a major character and she can't have a separate plotline to herself but she wasn't even involved in anyone else's #her and fabiola were cute together and she would've at least been part of the plot if they were still dating #allison was barely a character what was the point of writing some random new partner for fabiola when she already had a perfectly good #love interest #it just doesn't make sense to me. whi decided it would be a good idea for them to break up #was it just an opportunity to shove in a nonbinary character who had no personality and was just there as someone's s/o and call it #representation #cause there are Many better ways to have nonbinary rep than this #but ofc mindy kaling wouldn't give a shit about this. #n e ways for this support my nonbinary aneesa hc . it's real. #fabiola torres #aneesa qureshi #OR AT THE VERY LEAST SHE SHOULD'VE GOTTEN WITH PAXTON. SHE HAD THAT NICE HOT JOCK LINE AT THE END OF SEASON 3 #im fabneesa 4 life but i would honestly be haply with her dating paxton. they're both cool and they'd be fun together. and she deserves a #nice hot jock boyfriend.

[goldenkid]

people comparing wild blue yonder to midnight like yeah they're both good scary and unsettling BUT the huge fundamental difference between them is that wild blue yonder is about being trapped in a huge empty space with your friend and this scary thing that wants to kill you and not recognising your friend/your friend not recognising you, whereas midnight is about being trapped in this tiny space with a group of strangers and an unknowable entity and instead of fear of not knowing your friend the fear comes from the doctor not having ANY friends there, from the paranoia and mob mentality. it's a very group-focused story as opposed to wby which is only really commenting on the doctor and donna and their relationship.

there are obvs lots of similarities: twisted reflections, a monster that we never truly see or understand, a 'bottle episode' set in one location, unease and building tension and fear, paranoia, but to me at least wild blue yonder is about friendship and being with your friend but also maybe not with them, and worry that maybe you don't know this person that you love as well as you wanted to think you did...but midnight is very much about not having any friends or allies, and how groups can dissolve into paranoia and blame. wby has no 'one-off' characters whereas in midnight the one-off characters are everything. in wby you're alone in this maze of rooms and corridors...in midnight you're trapped with other people in this tiny little shuttle

tldr midnight is very mob mentality/'little pocket of humanity' focused whereas wby is all about the doctor and donna's relationship, and the different sets - one small and crowded, the other huge and empty - show this off pretty well

#doctor who #this is super incoherent but i had fun rambling about it i hope you get what i was trying to say #also the different sets make them very different episodes just in setup bc in midnight there's no running from room to room #there's no breaks inbetween scenes #no breathers where you see them just walking into a new room or reacting to a new place or running somewhere #in midnight they're just trapped and there's absolutely no respite #no-one gets a breather no-one gets a moment to themselves #no-one gets to do what fourteen did and have a little breakdown and then breathe and carry on #which makes midnight so very tense whereas wby is more traditionally set out with event -> breather/transition/characters reacting to event #whereas midnight no one gets this it just goes and goes and it's so so good because of that #not saying that wby should have done that it works very well the way it's done #just that that difference also makes them very different episodes #i could analyse these eps forever tbh midnight is my all time fave and i was so relieved that at least one of the rtd2 eps is decent #that i enjoyed it even more just by virtue of it not being bad haha

[thistaleisabloodyone]

I think Soldier Love is off Spotify now. I told Spotify to hide the song from me, but I could still see the album cover and shit when I went to check and now it's gone entirely from their artist page. I was able to find a page for it by specifically searching 'spotify soldier love the rampage' on Google, but the song can't be played.

It is also no longer available on YouTube - I found the video by going through my history (because I left a comment on it re: ... everything) and the video is unlisted and unavailable.

Which - good call, wish you could've done that a liiiiiittle faster there, LDH.

#the rampage from exile tribe #rmpgfext #ldh's legal department is probably having a Fun Time Right Now #with the kororo contract #because the kororo ads with soldier love are still up on their youtube channel #could be they haven't come down yet #because it seems to be taking them a few days to get it all down #and i would not be surprised if they're negotiating with kororo regarding those ads #like goddamn that feels like a lot of departments got fucked over #well done ldh #pr/communications #legal #marketing #(seems to be swiveling from 16soul to 16pray as the album they're pushing - also now fighting an uphill battle to convince people to buy) #i would have started printing cds and lyric booklets as soon as the tracklist was in place with all songs recorded #or at the very least more than a month out from ship date #so anything printed in advance is no longer good #so whoever handles the publishing and distribution also got fucked over #i think the announcement of the delay came from ldh japan #because no other department or part of the company had the power to make that call #i think it also is like - look we're taking it seriously #we escalated the problem up the command chain #it's not just these idiots handling the problem #it is people with authority and power #we went 'we have a problem' #they went 'let me get the manager'

[kuiinncedes]

we had a beautiful, magic love there (sad beautiful tragic - taylor swift)

#klaine #kurt hummel #blaine anderson #glee #i continue to do the same shit lol 🤪 #idk how to do anything else soooo #hey why is it so fucking annoying to put these pictures in order lmfaooo thanks tumblr #omfg WHY was that so stupid i'm not asking that much of u i just want the pic i drag over to go after the pics i already have djshgslkglmao #Pretend these r good quality k 😌 #also my crooked ass letters lol #yeah i could've like used a font i just realized that would've been very easy lol but i already had the design :P #i've been posting them in batches of 10 on instagram (so i've only posted one so far lmao) but so far for this group #this one is the only one that's like interesting bc it's different XD #the other ones are so similar in terms of like format lowkey especially my last two for begin again and moment i knew #i was short on ideas lmaoo so at least this one was somewhat creative XD #i feel like i did some different stuff with putting this together too so that was fun lol 🤪 #if only i could do more things that would make it better lmao Anyway #pretend they're actually gifs XD #ignore the absolute shit quality of the youtube screenshots <3 #anywayyyyfdgjkfdl :D #i dont tag my stuff but i've been doing so many of these i rly probably should lmao oh well idk eventually lol

[jadevine]

Preindustrial travel, and long explanations on why different distances are like that

Update March 1, 2024: Hey there folks, here's yet another update! I reposted Part 2a (the "medieval warhorses" tangent) to my writing blog, and I went down MORE of the horse-knowledge rabbit hole! https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/741423906984951808/my-post-got-cut-off-so-i-added-the-rest-of-it Update Jan 30, 2024: Hey folks, I've posted the updated version of this post on my blog, so I don't have to keep frantically telling everyone "hey, that's the old version of this post!" https://thebalangay.wordpress.com/2024/01/29/preindustrial-travel-times-part-1/

I should get the posts about army travel times and camp followers reformatted and posted to my blog around the end of the week, so I'll filter through my extremely tangled thread for them.

Part 2 - Preindustrial ARMY travel times: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask

Part 2a - How realistic warhorses look and act, because the myth of "all knights were mounted on huge clunky draft horses" just refuses to die: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/732043691180605440/helpful-things-for-action-writers-to-remember

Part 3 - Additional note about camp followers being regular workers AND sex-workers: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/740604203134828544/reblogging-the-time-looped-version-of-my

--

I saw a post on my main blog about how hiking groups need to keep pace with their slowest member, but many hikers mistakenly think that the point of hiking is "get from Point A to Point B as fast as possible" instead of "spending time outdoors in nature with friends," and then they complain that a new/less-experienced/sick/disabled hiker is spoiling their time-frame by constantly needing breaks, or huffing and puffing to catch up.

I run into a related question of "how long does it take to travel from Point A to Point B on horseback?" a lot, as a fantasy writer who wants to be SEMI-realistic; in the Western world at least, our post-industrial minds have largely forgotten what it's like to travel, both on our own feet and in groups.

People ask the new writer, "well, who in your cast is traveling? Is getting to Point B an emergency or not? What time of year is it?", and the newbies often get confused as to why they need so much information for "travel times." Maybe new writers see lists of "preindustrial travel times" like a primitive version of Google Maps, where all you need to do is plug in Point A and Point B.

But see, Google Maps DOES account for traveling delays, like different routes, constructions, accidents, and weather; you as the person will also need to figure in whether you're driving a car versus taking a bus/train, and so you'll need to figure out parking time or waiting time for the bus/train to actually GET THERE.

The difference between us and preindustrial travelers is that 1) we can outsource the calculations now, 2) we often travel for FUN instead of necessity.

The general rule of thumb for preindustrial times is that a healthy and prime-aged adult on foot, or a rider/horse pair of fit and prime-aged adults, can usually make 20-30 miles per day, in fair weather and on good terrain.

Why is this so specific? Because not everyone in preindustrial times was fit, not everyone was healthy, not everyone was between the ages of 20-35ish, and not everyone had nice clear skies and good terrain to travel on.

If you are too far below 18 years old or too far past 40, at best you will need either a slower pace or more frequent breaks to cover the same distance, and at worst you'll cut the travel distance in half to 10 or so miles. Too much walking is VERY BAD on too-young/old knees, and teenagers or very short adults may just have short legs even if they're fine with 8-10 hours of actual walking. Young children may get sick of walking and pitch a fit because THEY'RE TIREDDDDDDDDDD, and then you might need to stay put while they cry it out, or an adult may sigh and haul them over their shoulder (and therefore be weighed down by about 50lbs of Angry Child).

Heavy forests, wetlands and rocky hills/mountains are also going to be a much shorter "distance" per day. For forests or wetlands, you have to account for a lot of villagers going "who's gonna cut down acres of trees for one road? NOT ME," or "who's gonna drain acres of swamp for one road? NOT ME." Mountainous regions have their traveling time eaten by going UP, or finding a safer path that goes AROUND, so by the time you're done slogging through drier patches of wetlands or squeezing through trees, a deceptively short 10-15 miles in rough terrain might take you a whole day to walk instead of the usual half-day.

If you are traveling in freezing winters or during a rainstorm (and this inherently means you HAVE NO CHOICE, because nobody in preindustrial times would travel in bad weather if they could help it), you run the high risk of losing your way and then dying of exposure or slipping and breaking your neck, just a few miles out of the town/village.

Traveling in TOO-HOT weather is just as bad, because pushing yourself too hard and getting dehydrated at noon in the tropics will literally kill you. It's called heat-STROKE, not "heat-PARTY."

And now for the upper range of "traveling on horseback!"

Fully mounted groups can usually make 30-40 miles per day between Point A and Point B, but I find there are two unspoken requirements: "Point B must have enough food for all those people and horses," and "the mounted party DOESN'T need to keep pace with foot soldiers, camp followers, or supply wagons."

This means your mounted party would be traveling to 1) a rendezvous point like an ally's camp or a noble's castle, or 2) a town/city with plenty of inns. Maybe they're not literally going 30-40 miles in one trip, but they're scouting the area for 15-20 miles and then returning to their main group. Perhaps they'd be going to an allied village, but even a relatively small group of 10-20 warhorses will need 10-20 pounds of grain EACH and 20-30 pounds of hay EACH. 100-400 pounds of grain and 200-600 pounds of hay for the horses alone means that you need to stash supplies at the village beforehand, or the village needs to be a very large/prosperous one to have a guaranteed large surplus of food.

A dead sprint of 50-60 miles per day is possible for a preindustrial mounted pair, IF YOU REALLY, REALLY HAVE TO. Moreover, that is for ONE day. Many articles agree that 40 miles per day is already a hard ride, so 50-60 miles is REALLY pushing the envelope on horse and rider limits.

NOTE: While modern-day endurance rides routinely go for 50-100 miles in one day, remember that a preindustrial rider will not have the medical/logistical support that a modern endurance rider and their horse does.

If you say "they went fifty miles in a day" in most preindustrial times, the horse and rider's bodies will get wrecked. Either the person, their horse, or both, risk dying of exhaustion or getting disabled from the strain.

Whether you and your horse are fit enough to handle it and "only" have several days of defenselessness from severe pain/fatigue (and thus rely on family/friends to help you out), or you die as a heroic sacrifice, or you aren't QUITE fit enough and become disabled, or you get flat-out saved by magic or another rider who volunteers to go the other half, going past 40 miles in a day is a "Gondor Calls For Aid" level of emergency.

As a writer, I feel this kind of feat should be placed VERY carefully in a story: Either at the beginning to kick the plot off, at the climax to turn the tide, or at the end.

Preindustrial people were people--some treated their horses as tools/vehicles, and didn't care if they were killed or disabled by pushing them to their limits, but others very much cared for their horses. They needed to keep them in working condition for about 15-20 years, and they would not dream of doing this without a VERY good reason.

—

UPDATE January 13: Several people have gotten curious and looked at maps, to find out how a lot of cities are indeed spread out at a nice distance of 20-30 miles apart! I love getting people interested in my hyperfixations, lol.

But remember that this is the space between CITIES AND TOWNS. There should never be a 20-mile stretch of empty wilderness between City A and Town B, unless your world explains why folks are able to build a city in the middle of nowhere, or if something has specifically gone wrong to wipe out its supporting villages!

Period pieces often portray a shining city rising from a sea of picturesque empty land, without a single grain field or cow pasture in sight, but that city would starve to death very quickly in preindustrial times.

Why? Because as Bret Devereaux mentions in his “Lonely Cities” article (https://acoup.blog/2019/07/12/collections-the-lonely-city-part-i-the-ideal-city/), preindustrial cities and towns must have nearby villages (and even smaller towns, if large and prosperous enough!) to grow their food for them.

The settlements around a city will usually be scattered a few miles apart from each other, usually clustered along the roads to the city gates. Those villages and towns at the halfway point between cities (say 10-15 miles) are going to be essential stops for older/sick folks, merchants with cargo, and large groups like noble’s retinues and army forces.

Preindustrial armies and large noble retinues usually can’t make it far past 10-12 miles per day, as denoted in my addition to this post. (https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask )

#writing #preindustrial #horse riding #horse care #writing advice #medieval

[eggmeralda]

I may not be that squeamish about most things but there's something about earlobes that can make me weirdly dizzy

#specifically my own. haven't thought about other people's tbh #but like that time a few weeks ago when i thought my earlobes had finally healed so i took the earrings out and put some different ones in #and then i slept without any earrings for the first time and the next morning they'd closed again (only on the very outside) #so i was trying to put my old earrings back in and while i was doing it i suddenly went really dizzy and had to like #sit on the sofa but there was a lot of gravity pulling me there #and then i had to go and lie on the bathroom floor bc i felt nauseous as well #and like i've never had that with anything before? #i managed to put the earrings in in the end and i'm not taking them out until it's been at least a year since they got pierced #but anyway yesterday morning my right earlobe (the bane of my life) decided to go all Weird again #it's happened before where it gets into a state and the slightest knock will make it bleed but usually it's not really painful #anyway yesterday morning it was painful and it was bleeding for longer #and now i've been awake for like the past 30 minutes since 1.11am bc the earlobe must've gotten hit and is being dramatic once again #oh and never forget the first time i got them pierced february 2020 when the left earlobe tried to scran the entire earring #and i had to go to a&e and get laughing gas to take it out. which was pretty fun tbf #but only the laughing gas. the rest of the general experience leading up to it was not fun bc i'm a massive hypochondriac and was #convinced i had sepsis #anyway i'm realising I've never had a good relationship with my earlobes. maybe this is them now getting revenge for #whatever happened in 2020. or maybe they just don't like me #maybe they heard me when i was younger say that i never want a tattoo or piercing and they're weren't prepared for the decision change #or maybe they know the kind of fashion crimes i plan to wear in my ears once they heal and they're trying to deter me #either way. stop #i wanna go back to sleep #ramble

[dan-crimes]

Okay I am LEGIT convinced that Splatoon 3 is just out to make you miserable and finds pleasure in ur failure I LITERALLY HAD PERFECT RAINMAKER GAMES I WON 4 TIMES IN A ROW EASY but then I magically get put on teams that just LOSE and lose 3 times afterwards but I still got to the Rank Up Battle AND THEN LOST 3 TIMES IN A ROW BECAUSE IT LITERALLY PUT ME ON THE SAME TEAM I LOST WITH THREE TIMES EVEN THO I LEFT BECAUSE THE TEAM WAS NOT GOOD !!!!!

#LISTEN I like Splatoon and I'm fine with losing games EXCEPT WHEN THE TEAM FUCKING SUCKS AND JUST #DOESN'T EXIST !! LIKE WHENEVER I'M PUSHING FOWARD MY TEAM DOESN'T EXIST so I try and back off wait for them to come back #AND THEN TWO OF THEM DIE INSTANTLY and then instead of INKING OUR BASE SO THAT WE CAN PUSH BACK UP AFTER I KILL THEM ALL #THEY JUST GO OFF INTO FUCKIN NARNIA TO CHARGE THEIR SPECIAL WHEN THERE IS LITERALLY ENEMY INK IN OUR BASE #THAT THEY COULD USE TO CHARGE THEIR SPECIAL and then by the time they charge their special the whole enemy team is back #I try to push foward to kill them so we don't lose lead AND MY TEAM FALLS BACK INTO SPAWN LIKE THEY ARE AS FAR BACK AS CAN BE #THE ENEMY HASN'T EVEN GOTTEN THAT CLOSE YET BUT THEY REFUSE TO CLOSE THE SPACE !!!!!! #and ALWAYS whenever I have the Rainmaker my team never goes in front of me they just stand behind me cuz they're SCARED #and they RUN AWAY instead of PROTECT ME !!!! #oh man I could go on and on honestly like SoloQ is hell it's just actual hell bro #it didn't use to be THIS BAD but it is BAD now #like I was playing Rainmaker and I can carry really well in that mode but HOLY SHIT TOWER CONTROL LIKE DON'T EVEN BOTHER BRO #EVERYONE JUST RUNS AWAY FROM THE TOWER I DO NOT GET IT !!! the enemy is literally advancing to the next checkpoint and my team goes #TO THE COMPLETE OTHER SIDE SO THAT THEY CAN'T REACH THE TOWER and then DIE INSTANTLY #I don't know man I do NOT know #I played some Clam Blitz cuz Tower Control was THAT BAD BRO which tbf I actually like Clam Blitz it's just #hard to communicate with ur team in SoloQ so it's hard to tell when I try and make a push foward if my team will follow or not #which everyone was actually pretty good about it! I lost 3 outta the 4 games I played but I actually had FUN #well except for the first one cuz there was an annoying dude and I was playing a weapon I'm not very good at if I don't warm up first #the other 2 games I lost I know at least one we made an amazing push at the beginning but then we got Clam Blitz @ the end #if you know you know #and the game I won MAN that was an amazing game honestly such a cooperative team they were always there right behind me #and when I used my walls and special they all pushed forward and I was stalling the basket MAN it was fun #but like LITERALLY I'm fine with losing games as long as it was fun and everyone was y'know actually playing as a team #and also if the other team is just actually really good like I cannot fault my team for that we just got unlucky lmao #but MAN I just think the ranking system in Splatoon 3 is supperrr broken I have seen people in S+ and X rank who LITERALLY #not even joking they literally looked like they had just picked up the game that same day they were LEGIT playing like a noob #NO idea how they can manage their way up the ranks like that like how did that happen #anyway I just had to blow off some steam cuz I really really like playing Splatoon but it is just really really REALLY shit right now ngl #I want to keep playing cuz I know it can be super fun but it is really pissing me off a lot lately especially with the disconnection issues

[v4guelyv4mpiric]

ITS HALLOWEEN

the time of the year we are able to buy fangs in retail. and i've tried literally every brand of fangs that spirit halloween carries (and more), so this is my review and recommendations.

Scarecrow Fangs

unpopular opinion, but i did not like these. They're way too expensive, imo and the molding solution sucks and is a nightmare to work with. the fangs themselves are alright.

price: 19.99 us

rating: 5/10

Spirit Halloween

It's surprisingly good! i used these until i broke them - they use thermoplastic for molding, which i think should be the standard for fangs. It's far easier to work with. the plastic is cheaper than Scarecrow, but they feel solid and are a more realistic color (at least for me)

price: 4.99 us

rating: 8/10

Monster High

Oh my ghoul, i love these. These fangs are a bit on the smaller size, which is useful if you're going for subtle. and of course, being monster high, i'm all for them. i mean, that case is adorable

again, these use thermoplastic. Though its imortant to note not to put the fangs themselves in hot water while you're molding them- i warped one by accident. regardless, they are so comfortable and resilient. my second favorites.

price: 9.99 us

rating 9/10

Special FX

we've all seen that video of that girl using these in like 2008 and wanted to be her. at least i did... but im sad to report that these fangs dont work on my anatomy. they mold to your back molars with thermoplastic, and when you press on the bar, the fangs come down. these fit simular to a retainer as they just sit above your teeth.

i, however, am missing one of those molars and cannot line it up right to use them. (never beating the kentuckian stereotype)

price: 9.99

rating: 3/10

Now for the ones not sold at Spirit Halloween

Amazon cosplay fangs

You've most likely seen these before. they're nothing special, but they get the job done. i do like the case they come in! very convenient. But the color is far too unrealistic for me. still, they do use thermoplastic! which is always a win. and theres four sizes, again convenient.

price: 7.99 us (give or take)

rating: 4/10

Dracula Fangs

I had never heard of this brand before someone posted about these on tiktok. i bought them immediately (i am not immune to propaganda, and neither are you), and i gotta say... They're my favorite I've tried.

I got the large ones; and let me tell you, they're massive. definitely not for subtle vamp vibes. They're sharp, too! That's a plus for me, not for everyone, i assume. and they mold with thermoplastic! they come with way more than you need (which you can use to make more fangs if you desire)

they do come in smaller sizes as far as I've seen, but i haven't tried those yet.

price: 20.00 us (i know that's rather pricey)

rating 10/10

honorable(ish) mentions

...

vampire condoms. only get them as a bit. a /j fang if you will.

price: 0.99 (i got mine at dave&busters for 25 tokens)

rating: i am wampire/10

Walmart Fangs

i swore there were some in different packaging, but i can't find those now. these suck (not in the fun way). They're made of rubber, and i dont remember them having any molding agents. just skip these, okay?

price: 2.89 us

rating: 0/10

#vampire #halloween #vampire costume #vampire cosplay #vamp #vampirecore #goth #vampire goth #vampirekin #vampire kin #fangs #monster #monster high #cosplay #otherkin #therian #nonhuman

[an-spideog]

Don't Use Duolingo if You Really Want to Learn Irish

That title is a bit dramatic, but I really don't think that duolingo is a useful tool for Irish, especially in its current state, so I want to talk a bit about why, and I'll also talk about some alternatives.

Pronunciation

The first and most egregious issue is that at some point recently-ish, duo decided to start using Text-To-Speech for their Irish course, rather than recordings of a native speaker. The problem here is that their TTS is not trained on native speakers of Irish and pronounces words incorrectly. It doesn't make consistent distinctions between broad and slender consonants for example.

Irish has no standard pronunciation, so I understand how it can feel weird to choose just one dialect for the purposes of pronunciation (the old recordings were from a speaker of Galway Irish), but having just one dialect is much better than TTS which sounds like a learner, imagine if they had TTS for the French course which sounded like an anglophone schoolkid trying to pronounce french, and claimed they were teaching you how to speak french!

Grammar

Duo tends to be correct on grammar at least, which is a start. But often people using it get very confused about the grammar because duo doesn't explain any of it. I think there's a place for immersion in language learning, and I don't think everything has to be explained like that, but within duo's system of sentence testing and exercises like that, not having any explanation for why it's "mo chóta" and not "mo cóta" can be really confusing. Duo used to have more grammar information, it's a shame that they removed it, I wonder why they did it.

Money and Motivation

Duolingo is a business, and their motivation is not to help you learn a language 'fully', but to keep you using their app and hopefully have a higher chance of sharing it with others, competing with others, buying or causing others to buy memberships or lingots or any other in-app purchases.

I don't want to make it out like duo is some big conspiracy and they're tricking people, I don't think that's the case, but it's good to remember that their primary motivation is to keep people using the app, rather than help people move to a level in a language where they don't need the app anymore.

Keep this in mind whenever you see people trying to sell you stuff for language learning.

Why do people use Duolingo

I do get it, and I don't want to make anyone feel bad for using duo, there's a ton of reasons people tend towards it at first 1. It's really well known, so especially if you're learning a language and haven't heard of other resources for it, you'll check duolingo 2. It's very motivating for a lot of people, checking in every day and forming that habit is a really good way of sticking with a language 3. It's fun, people enjoy it

If you use it for reason 3. and you still like it, then don't worry about this post, I'm not trying to yuck anyone's yums, keep having fun!

If you use it for reasons 1. or 2. you can still keep using it if you like, but I want to suggest some other things which you might find helpful in trying to get to a higher level in Irish.

Other Resources

To address the pronunciation issue, I'd heavily recommend you disregard the pronunciation in duolingo, if you're looking for more reliable sources of pronunciation, I'd look towards recordings of native speakers, you can find that on:

Teanglann and Foclóir (they use the same recordings)

Fuaimeanna

and a really useful and underused one: https://davissandefur.github.io/minimal-pairs/ where you can hear the difference between similar sounds that English speakers often mix up in Irish.

A lot of people like duolingo because it's nice to have a clear path forward, a progression that you can get into without too much decision-making. For this I recommend getting a good textbook or course and working through it, the ones I'll recommend also have native speaker audio on them.

Learning Irish by Mícheál Ó Siadhail, this book teaches Galway Irish, not just in pronunciation but in grammar too. It's quite dense but it's well thought out and well explained.

Teach Yourself Irish (1961) this book is available for free online, and is a really good option if you're interested in Cork Irish (Munster), and have some experience with grammatical terminology. I used this book myself and really liked it, but it's very intense and not for everyone. (If you do end up using it, feel free to skip the appendices at the start, they're more of a reference and sometimes put people off from actually getting to the first chapter. Also if you have any questions about it or need any help just let me know.)

If you want a video course, there's a great course called "Now You're Talking" which is available for free online, along with audio files and worksheets here. It features Donegal Irish and leads into the more intermediate level course called Céim ar Aghaidh also available online.

There's other textbooks that I have less experience with (Buntús na Gaeilge, Gaeilge/Gramadach Gan Stró, etc.) but if they work for you, stick with them, there's nothing worse than not making progress because you keep switching resources trying to find the "perfect one"

Whether or not you continue to use Duolingo, I would really really encourage you to try engaging with media in Irish. People often shy away from this when they're learning because they don't feel like they're "ready" yet. But you basically never feel like you're ready, you just have to try and find something near your level and try to get comfortable with not understanding everything. This is where you learn a huge portion of the language, you hear how things are pronounced you see what words mean in what contexts, getting input in your target language is so important!

I know content can be kind of hard to find, so I'll make a few recommendations here: There's a wealth of content available for free online (more if you're in ireland but some internationally) on TG4 If you're still starting out, I'd recommend trying to watch some kids shows since they'll have simpler language and will be easier to follow. I wouldn't recommend using English subtitles when you watch them. Some good options include:

Dónall Dána: an Irish dub of Horrid Henry, silly and childish but the actors have good Irish and importantly the show has Irish language subtitles, they don't always match but if you're still beginning and can't necessarily get everything by ear, they're really useful. (Mostly Galway Irish)

Curious George: another dub, again with Irish language subtitles (I can't remember what dialects were in it off the top of my head but I'd assume mostly galway again)

Seó Luna: No subtitles, but a good option if you're aiming for Munster Irish, the lead character has Kerry Irish

Miraculous: No subtitles but a better show than most of the other kids' ones and more bearable to watch as an adult (Mostly Galway Irish)

Ros na Rún: Moving away from kids shows, a long running soap opera, this has Irish subtitles and a really good mix of dialects within the show. If you're finding the kids shows boring or too easy I'd really recommend it, but it can be complex because of the amount of characters, dialects, and plotlines. I'd recommend starting at the beginning of a newer season and just trying to catch on to what's happening as you go.

There are a lot of books, if you live in Ireland you can get nearly any Irish book for free from a library, so please check out your local library or request some of these from other libraries in the system:

There's a series of fairytales (Rápúnzell, Luaithríona etc.) by Máiréad Ní Ghráda which are illustrated and for children, which are a really good option for when you're just starting out reading

There's kids books about Fionn and the Fianna by Tadhg Mac Dhonnagáin

There's a cute little kids' book in Kerry Irish about a cat named Mábúis

Leabhar Breac has a lot of graphic novels, some of them based on Irish mythology, some on other stuff. The fact that they're illustrated can make it a lot easier to follow even if you don't understand all the words at first.

Gliadar has just released their Scott Pilgrim translation

If you're looking for something a bit more advanced you can look at some of the books for adult learners by Comhar, they contain simplified language and glossaries but have full original adult stories.

And if you're wanting full, natural, native-level Irish there's a load of books by those same groups, and others like An Gúm, Cló Iar-Chonnacht, Oidhreacht Chorca Dhuibhne, Éabhlóid, Coiscéim, and more.

And don't shy away from older books written in Seanchló either, they can be more challenging but it's a whole extra world of books

If you're trying to improve your listening comprehension, I definitely recommend listening to shows on Raidió na Gaeltachta, hearing native Irish speakers talk at full speed is really good practice. But I get that it can be overwhelming at first. Here are some things you can do as you build up to that:

Watching those same TV shows I mentioned without subtitles is a good way to build up listening skills.

Vifax is a website where you can practice listening to short news segments and answer questions on them, then getting to look at the transcript with notes afterwards.

Snas is kind of the evolution of vifax, now using clips from both the news and Ros na Rún.

I really hope that this post can help people move away from duolingo if they're looking to take their Irish learning to the next level, if you've got any questions, just let me know!

#gaeilge #irish language #irish #irish langblr #gaelainn #learning irish #as gaeilge #duolingo #resources

[stillfrownyclownlol]

Gonna throw up If I can't talk about them-

Bunch of Aiden analysis under the cut because he's just SO OBSESSED CODED AND NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT 😭 (I will be very weird about it)

The way it's so doomed from the start. He's already so fascinated by her. It's in the little jump he does when she sits in front of him, like a secret they're both in on, like her sitting in front of him is some obscure way of her inviting him into a conversation.

Why is he like this (not positive but not negative either)

He has such a cocktail of personality traits and, most certainly, mental disorders, and his own history that makes it so, when he's in love, that it WILL blow up in his face.

The fact that he's been homeschooled for his entire life- he has no idea. HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW. He doesnt realize that its not normal. of course he doesn't :( His parents obviously leave him alone for long stretches of time and he doesn't seem to mind this. He hasn't had the chance to develop his social skills at all-

It's why he's so, let's be real, creepy. Ash makes it very clear she's not interested and he just keeps worming his way into her life. He plots so that she'll go on the field trip, he follows her around, he goes to her fucking house on the first day. LIKE, HELLO? RED FLAG?

He's having evil thoughts here I swear 💀

And already so quickly after meeting her he makes Ash his priority. He asks to sit next to her, he engages and makes an effort to talk to her. Tries to joke around with her. Gives her a nickname. Touches her. He's so touchy.

And defends her!!! When Tyler gets pissed at Ash, he honestly goes off on him even tho he KNOWS Ash can defend herself- and he's so...dark about it. There's a threat hidden behind his words. He's MAD here, right? Tell me I'm not crazy, please-

He also very clearly has violence on the forefront of his mind 💀 He's the first one to actively attack the phantoms; not to defend himself, not to defend somebody else (well, he pulls Ash out of the way), but for fun. And he's disappointed when they don't scream. He's sadistic, he likes causing pain, it's something he relishes in.

I mean look at how he smiles!!! None of the other kids have such an...active ENJOYMENT in fighting the phantoms, but for Aiden, it's almost like he finds relief in it, some way to vent out his frustrations. He's eager for a fight, for a thrill.

That's how Aiden sustains himself, he pretty much operates under "I'm here for a good time, not a long time." Everything he does gives him a boost of adrenaline, no matter the consequences. He got into a fight? Eh, who cares about all the bruises, at least it got his blood rushing. Broke a bone while doing parkour or smth? Whatever, the way his stomach dropped when he was falling as totally worth it.

It's a very dangerous mentality to live with, obviously. He's an adrenaline junkie. He's an addict. More than anything else, Aiden wants something that makes him feel alive.

And what makes you feel more alive than love?

Like not to minimise or anything but he's known her for like. 2-3 months- and he's already SO scared of losing her. Like I just don't think he would have had this type of reaction with anybody else besides Ben. He would have absolutely lost his shit if Ash 'died'.

He's a straight up love junkie. He's obsessive. Nothing beats the high love can give you. It overrules everything else. If Ash (or whoever he's interested in) feels bad because of smth, he's done with it.

He LIKED dying. He LIKED the adrenaline rush. But he won't do it again. Not because he had some realization that he didn't want to die, that he still wanted to live and do things, but because Ash was upset. Because this, this rush of care from her part, the way she was so scared of him dying that she was shaking, nothing could fill the hole in his heart better than that. And now that he has a taste for it, he won't let go easy. He will keep on living- if it means Ash will be by his side.

Which is a very dangerous position to put her in. Ash already feels responsible for her friends, and she doesn't even know that Aiden has "put" his life in her hands, not that it's her responsibility, because it isn't, but she will certainly feel responsible if Aiden does something FOR her.

Like He's so fucking obsessed and he doesn't even realize it- like look at how he sees her 😭 THE HEAVENLY GLOOOOOOW, LIKE SHES AN ANGEL AND HE THINKS SHE CAN SAVE HIM. BABY SHE CANT, YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF.

He could spiral so fucking bad. He could do some absolutely heinous things. Because he just doesn't know. He doesn't know how to love truly, yet. For him love really is that rush of adrenaline, the knife carving out his heart, he could be putty in her hands, or her executioner. This love that can be so obsessive, that he NEEDS it to function, like its water, like its the air he breathes. Its a compulsion, a fixation, a longing that burrows into your very soul. Ash doesn't even know what she's getting herself into-

Godddddd, it makes me so sick/ pos, it's SO FUCKING INTERESTINGGGGGG. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

I literally cannot function around this drawing 🫠

The. The hand. That way he's grabbing her. He's pulling her back. Towards HIM. like "this is mine. And I'm not sharing." And that little fucking look in his eyes, he just looks SO fucking pleased with himself. And Ash looks so...resigned. they're so doomed-coded, i love them so bad.

I don't know how I was supposed to NOT make a killer au, when he's just...like that around her.

Love is a wonderful thing. But love is also cruel, it is vicious, it is possessive and obsessive, and it will leave carnage in its wake.

Romantic love is an obsession. It possesses you. You lose your sense of self. You cannot stop thinking about another human being. -Helen Fisher

#sbg #school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #sbg (webtoon) #aiden clark #ashlyn banner #aidlyn #aiden x ashlyn #im gonna scream #rip my teeth out #idk idk #im just mentally ill about them 🫠 #tw obsessive behavior

[mypoisonedvine]

100 random dialogue prompts

truly random, there's a mix of angsty and smutty and fluffy in here. as a result it's nsfw and 18+ :)

"who did this to you?"

"where are you going dressed like that?"

"this isn't enough anymore. I need more of you-- all of you."

"I'm not angry, I just get tired of watching you get hurt."

"don't say stuff like that, it gets me all... confused."

"just lie to me, okay? just this once."

"I never said I didn't feel the same way."

"you should go... before someone sees."

"I hate how you make it impossible to hate you."

"too good for you? don't be ridiculous-- they don't deserve you."

"fuck, do that again... please."

"you promise you're going to behave this time?"

"oh please, you knew what you were doing... you wanted to drive me crazy."

"no, it's not over. it's never over."

"so you're saying even if we were the last people on Earth--?" "nope."

"sooo... is everything supposed to just go back to normal after that?"

"you can't ignore me. not anymore."

"it's not what it looks like!" "is that a picture of me?!"

"you really didn't notice that I was falling in love with you?"

"is this really the last time?"

"I'm sorry, I swear I tried, but I just can't get over you."

"do you really think that toy can replace me?"

"don't tell me how to feel."

"forgive me, but I'm not feeling very patient right now."

"you could do so much better than me."

"what would they think if they saw you right now?"

"I didn't know you could be so obedient."

"you can take it."

"you were never my fallback-- I always wanted you."

"yeah, I want to, but... wouldn't it be weird?"

"don't act like you never thought about it before."

"I wish they could all know about us."

"you're the best mistake I ever made."

"no, I don't hate you... I'm angry, but I don't think I could ever really hate you."

"let's just stop now before anybody's feelings get hurt."

"don't get my hopes up if you're just gonna leave like everyone else."

"I can't let it end like this."

"if you do what you're told, you'll get a reward."

"what's gotten into you? you're being so... naughty."

"I think we're on a first name basis by now."

"don't do that... don't act like you don't feel this too."

"it was never just sex."

"I wish I'd met you sooner."

"you can tell me anything."

"why do we have to get out of bed again?"

"I think this is my favorite way to wake up."

"I was already yours."

"there's no way that was just a one-night thing."

"if you can look me in the eye and tell me you want me to go, I'll go."

"has anybody else ever made you feel like this?"

"it feels like we were made for each other."

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and I miss you."

"I have an idea to make them jealous."

"just one more kiss?"

"do you really expect me to believe this is what you want?"

"if you say you're happy with them, I'll believe you. or at least I'll try to."

"I can think of a more fun way you can thank me."

"no, I'm in charge tonight, remember?"

"if you keep doing that, this might end a little too soon."

"hey, you lost the bet, fair and square."

"stop imagining it!" "I'm sorry, but I can't get it out of my head!"

"it's too bad we never did. we would've been great together."

"I never thought I'd hear you talk like that."

"oh, fuck me--" "okay." "what? it's just a figure of speech..."

"were you joking? I wasn't joking."

"admit it: you had a crush on me!"

"I just need you to hold me right now."

"friends can cuddle, right?"

"I wouldn't have picked this for movie night if I'd known it had so many sex scenes..."

"they're great but... they're not you."

"I always thought it would be me and you in the end."

"you're not actually trying to convince me that was a friendly kiss, are you?"

"if you hate me so much, how come you keep coming back?"

"do you remember getting drunk and calling me last night?"

"I'm free tonight if you still need a date for that thing you're going to."

"I'd do anything for you."

"I think I finally get what all those love songs are about."

"it's weird being here again... so many memories."

"I wish you'd give me a chance."

"I never meant to hurt you."

"just come to dinner with me. it doesn't have to be weird."

"seeing you with them made me realize you should be with me."

"just ask yourself for once: what do you want?"

"okay, okay, I'll leave-- as soon as I can find my pants."

"we need to be more careful next time."

"wait, why are you in my bed? did we...?"

"I took you for granted, I know. but I want to treat you right this time."

"kiss me like you mean it."

"keep the lights on, I want to see you."

"is it just me, or does your celebrity crush look a lot like me?"

"we promised we wouldn't let this affect our friendship."

"no, don't cry-- if you start crying, I'll start crying!"

"I want to see my marks on you tomorrow."

"don't act innocent, it's not going to work with me."

"is this really turning you on? I'm not even doing anything."

"come look at the stars with me."

"I lov--" "no, don't say anything. you'll kill the moment."

"what happens next in your fantasy?"

"I probably shouldn't tell you this but... you were in my dream last night."

"why do you still wear the hoodie I left at your place?"

#fic prompt #writing prompt #dialogue prompt

[gotham-daydreams]

How would it have gone differently if Reader didn't try to be an "overachiever" and instead just stayed quiet and didn't interact with anyone besides Alfred until they left? Their room they left being mostly blank, with only the music journals? Giving up on trying to get their attention.

I think what's so funny about this ask, to me, is that I already have a concept like this written down (along with 3 others since the current reader I'm writing for the "Not [ ]" series is one of them but with a few missing details), so this'll be fun!

I guess it generally goes how you'd expect? Which is different for the most part, but the reader's perspective on what's happening is also different.

Granted, I would like to point out that, at least for this particular concept and the idea I have for it of how this would go, does have more stuff going on pre-Batfam that do affect how they perceive what's happening, and that's what makes things interesting in my opinion. Because someone can be naturally shy or just overall more reserved either out of nature or because they feel a certain way, but still feel bad about being neglected and, despite their lack of effort, feel that pain just as much as someone who's tried. Which is valid! Besides, someone's definition of 'trying' can vary as well.

Everyone should have a chance to have a family, and form some kind of connection with people. Just because you aren't going above and beyond for one person, doesn't mean you're undeserving of certain things. Especially not a chance to have a family, or feel like you have one. That's what I think anyway.

Nevertheless, back to the reader!

From the original concept, I will be tweaking a few things to fit the ask, but the same general outcome remains! Though again, the reader's perspective on things is a tad different. But how about this- I'll show two versions of the reader.

One that's quiet and more reserved because they gave up much earlier, or just generally hopeless really early on because maybe they felt as if anything they'd do just wouldn't be enough, who'll be accurately named Quiet!Reader. With the other being more closely related to the concept I wrote for such an idea, that we'll refer to as Waiting!Reader.

Quiet!Reader would change up things quite a bit! I won't lie!

They might already have bad self-esteem that's quick to develop at the start of things, which is something to note as that doesn't get better with time. They grow more cold and distant from the family at a quicker pace both from personal and external reasons.

Put simply, they don't feel good enough, and even if they did- anything they could do to get the Batfam's attention would never be enough in their eyes. To which, they see very early on when they try to engage and do some things with the family, only to be turned down. What doesn't help is when Quiet!Reader sees Damian get adopted and almost immediately showered with love, (compared to them) and that really cements some ideas that were already developing in their head about the family.

When Damian comes into the picture, they feel replaced. Seeing him as someone to fill in the 'youngest Wayne' role instead of them, so that Bruce and the others actually have someone to acknowledge for such a title. Just someone else to further take away the little they had.

So, they further step out of the way, glaring at the Batfam with tired eyes before that eventually stops too. Envy clawing at their heart, hatred being sent through waves of pain all throughout their body. Hurt unmatched. Yet they still remain invisible. Quiet as ever. Unnoticed. Everything they ever felt dies down, and forms a cold numbness that they begin to associate with the family.

Maybe through that, they feel closer to the family in some twisted way. Now just as cold as them. Just as talkative, and just as engaging. Almost mirroring them, but they're honest about how they feel. Honest about what they think, and therefore better. At least when compared to the Batfam- and to them, even if it wasn't a high bar to reach anyway, at least it counts for something.

It was never Damian's fault, or really about Damian at all. It could've been anyone else and Quiet!Reader would've still reacted the same way, they know that. Though just seeing the Batfam show love and care to him and not them just makes them feel... worse.

Clearly they're capable of love, and can notice new additions to the family (to which they may have mostly believed that the Batfam's neglect was just something the family did for whatever reason, and thought that them being the youngest had something to do with it for a while) and that breaks the reader. It doesn't hurt, not as much as it would've, maybe, but whatever hurt is there dies down quickly as Quiet!Reader, well, quietly accepts their fate.

The Batfam clearly wants nothing to do with them, so why should they try to do all of these things for them? It's simple, they shouldn't. So they don't. Quiet!Reader gives up, and continues to live their life without them.

The Manor just becomes a place they sleep in, and nothing else. It isn't anything close to a home, and not even Alfred can help with that.

It's because of that little fact, however, that Quiet!Reader leaves much sooner than the reader in the "Not [ ]" series. Maybe once they get a friend they can trust, they essentially end up living with said friend, hence why their room remains so empty. The notebooks they even keep in the room they have in the Manor is from when they were way younger, instead of just being from a few months ago or so. We're talking years since Quiet!Reader has touched those things now.

Maybe they do 'officially' leave a month or so before they usually would as an overachiever in the "Not [ ]" series, having only bothered to return so often before because of Alfred. Though even then, they'd forget to return most nights- only being reminded to even try and go back once Alfred would personally call them, and ask them where they were.

However now, after a while of just the time between them basically living with their friend and sleeping at the manor, they stop returning altogether. Though this time around they instead personally go to Alfred to say they're goodbyes. Not explaining much, but just saying that while they might still try to come and visit him sometimes, they don't live in the Manor anymore. Alfred already knows this, and the embrace they share fully hammers in that fact.

Yet when Quiet!Reader turns away, and leaves the Manor for good- even through the front door at that. Alfred can't help but just... miss them already.

You see, while Quiet!Reader is indeed quieter and more reserved, especially towards the Batfam, with Alfred really being the only exception, they still made music.

Maybe they didn't have as many concerts or physical, grand, live performances compared to the reader in the "Not [ ]" series, they not only started earlier, but may have actually started out on a social platform such a youtube. They really started out small, but were able to find and start their passion much earlier!

Most of what they played was when they were in the Manor, but slowly they started to get involved with things music related outside of the Manor and in Gotham- and from there were able to build themselves up even more. Hell, I'd even say that Quiet!Reader is a little more well-known and popular than the reader in the "Not [ ]" series because of the amount of extra time they dedicated to their passion.

So basically, Alfred this time around has more recordings and such of Quiet!Reader actually doing something they love than with the one in the series. However! Funnily enough, they're gone for a shorter amount of time despite having left earlier than normal.

Alfred is just, extra fed up with this nonsense, and so pulls his tricks more early on, but also make them hit harder.

He doesn't clean Quiet!Reader's room to show how long they've been gone, adding onto the emptiness and almost abandoned feeling the room itself gives off because of how bare and empty it is. They're music haunts the halls, subtle, sure, but still noticeable- especially to those who are hyper aware all the time. Pictures of Quiet!Reader and Alfred begin to be hung up, and if he can manage- some with Quiet!Reader and their friends during important parts of their life.

No one is safe from the guilt and anguish Alfred seeks to cause to not only have the Batfam look for you, but most importantly, to finally notice you.

Let's just say, things work out a little too well.

---

As for Waiting!Reader? Oh man, I've been wanting to rant about them for a while!

Unlike the reader in the "Not [ ]" series and Quiet!Reader, Waiting!Reader had some semblance of a life before getting adopted into the Batfam. Though the idea and character themself isn't musically inclined/involved in music, or even all that interested in music for that matter- for the sake of this ask, lets say they are!

I won't dabble too much into the life Waiting!Reader had before the Batfam, as if I do end up writing them I'd also like to keep some details vague (for the sake of leaving it up to interpretation and everything), but just know that during the time they were still with their original family, they were essentially taught that they should 'wait their turn', and eventually their parents would spend time with them and care for them. Hence the little name I've given them.

So! When they get to the Manor and are officially adopted, only to be neglected and ignored during their first few attempts- because of their young age, they immediately think "oh! they're just like mom and dad!" So they 'wait' for 'their turn', believing that eventually, should they wait long enough, they'll be rewarded with bonding and such from the Batfam just as they were with their previous parents.

This mindset changes what they do as well, as Waiting!Reader even goes out of their way to not bother anyone, or "get in the way" of whatever they could be doing. Waiting!Reader treats the situation so much like their previous home life, that sometimes they might even forget that the Batfam are completely different people from their parents. The only real difference that they can think of is that they're not acknowledged at all and it seems like their 'turn' never comes. Though for a while that doesn't get them down. The Batfam is busy like they're parents were! Waiting!Reader is sure that when things die down then they'll have their time.

... Hopefully.

I can imagine that part of the reason why Waiting!Reader holds on to hope for so long is because, again, their own parents constantly reassured them that they would have their time eventually. That if they behaved, and stayed out of the way, then they would go somewhere fun with their parents and essentially be rewarded for their efforts. They were conditioned to wait, to be patient, and just comply until those around them decided to actually take care of them, and spend time with them.

Of course, as they grow up the reality of the situation does hit them eventually, but during that time they do try.

Waiting!Reader helps Alfred around the house, and so they mostly bond over doing chores, among other things. They are also more mindful, and try to keep the amount of noise they back down— so they actually don't play at the Manor all that often, and instead play literally anywhere else. If and when they do play outside, around the area of the Manor like in the gardens or something, they make sure no one is around before even thinking of playing.

Alfred does help them break a few of their habits that they got while living with their parents, but the one thing he can't seem to 'fix' is how absolutely quiet Waiting!Reader is when they walk around. Which, as on can imagine, doesn't exactly help in a situation where the whole family, except for the butler, is neglecting you.

The amount of times Waiting!Reader has caught Alfred off guard is more then you'd think for someone that works with the Dark Knight, and his various sidekicks and such, over the years. Which does say something, sure, but it's also funny!

Regardless, similar to Quiet!Reader, Waiting!Reader is able to start their musical career earlier than normal, and thuse becomes a little more popular than they would originally. However, they're more known for their live performances and giving back to the community. Seemingly just like Bruce as they attend charity event after charity event, and try to do good by the people.

Waiting!Reader also does genuinely try to become a vigilante as well, but they do so in a way where they only take care of the smaller/medium guys, and leave the bigger ones to the rest of the Batfam. This is because they want to remove possible distractions for their family, and while they would try to take on "bigger guys", they don't think they're skilled enough or experienced enough to even think about it. So they don't even try. (They also don't have the same theme as the Batfam- since they don't want to 'ruin' their reputation with what they're doing or something. Which does hell them further detach themself from the family later on.)

I'd say that with Waiting!Reader, the difference between them and the Batfam is more clear to them? Like, to them, the Batfam are just so good at what they do that they have no hope of reaching them. So instead of trying to reach for them, they just do their own thing and try to help in their own way.

Because Waiting!Reader takes care of smaller guys, they are kind of closer to Waiting!Reader as a vigilante.

The best way I can put it is that while the community trusts Batman and the members of the Batfam to save their city, they trust Waiting!Reader to save their homes.

So basically- Batfam is the bigger picture while Waiting!Reader focuses on the smaller picture.

Nevertheless! Also like Quiet!Reader, Waiting!Reader actually leaves earlier. Except when they leave, they leave.

Waiting!Reader straight up leaves Gotham City to attend the college that they want to go to, in an area that has more opportunity for them, that isn't close to where the Batfam lives or patrols.

So they not only leave earlier, but it also takes the Batfam longer to find them. Especially because Waiting!Reader does still do some things in Gotham, they just don't live there anymore.

I feel like out of all three readers, Waiting!Reader definitely feels like the kind of person that someone would assume is some kind of "Phantom of the Wayne Manor," y'know?

So Alfred definitely tries to make the Batfam feel bad like he does with Quiet!Reader. Except how anyone in the Batfam is reminded that Waiting!Reader even exists, and that they've been gone for a while now is through a letter that is accidentally sent to the Wayne Manor from one of Waiting!Reader's fans. From there, some research does start and the more the Batfam learns, the more they want to go and find the reader- you know the deal.

I hope this answered your question even if I really did ramble on this time- if you'd like me to clarify anything or go into more detail on a specific part, feel free to send in an ask!

#platonic yandere batfam #yandere batfam #gn reader #sibling reader #yandere dc #yandere x gn reader #platonic yandere #yandere alfred #neglected reader #talking daydreams #yandere batman

[bby-deerling]

Ranking of least to most experienced in bed? 👀 (Pls include Cora I am so down bad for that man)

((Also tysvm for opening my eyes to Virgin!Law. His faux confidence paired with his silent worry if he’s doing good enough? My seat is soaked.))

omg yes !!!! i hope you don't mind that these are short and a lil bit silly!

how much experience they have headcanons

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tagging: @willowbelle @fanaticsnail @eelnoise @sanjisjuul

very experienced

doflamingo: not afraid to overindulge in all things hedonistic, doffy has had more than his fair share of partners; he's by no means a giving lover, but he is an experienced one.

kid: this man is all about wreaking havoc and doing whatever he wants, and that includes doing whoever he wants. he loves to showboat and usually has no trouble picking up a girl or two at whatever island the victoria punk makes a stop at—just don't expect him to stick around until the morning.

decent amount of experience

sanji: this man was slinging that linecook dick at the baratie and no one can convince me otherwise. pre-timeskip sanji has a stupid amount of rizz, and there's no way at least a few young women didn't fold for him.

shachi and penguin: while law doesn't really care for fooling around with girls, both shachi and penguin have a decently long list of one-night-stands trailing from the north blue all the way to the new world. law has a rule that they're not allowed to bring strange girls onto the polar tang for safety reasons. penguin obeys this rule, shachi does not. shachi also is more experienced than penguin (he says it's because he has nicer hair).

a little bit of experience

ace: i think ace definitely got around a bit (i mean look at him), but he was still fairly young, so he didn't really have a ton of time to play the field—which is a shame. rest in peace, sexy cowboy man.

rosinante: though he's shy and clumsy and goofy, rosi definitely had a good amount of fun in his youth; he is a marine, after all. once his brother is back in his life, he tends to not form romantic attachments, for both their own safety and his own sanity.

usopp: maybe kaya let him hit once or twice because he's silly goofy. he definitely is no lady-killer, but his cringe pickup lines somehow work once in a blue moon.

mihawk: definitely has creepy weird vampire sex in his castle from time to time, but ultimately sees relationships and attachments as a waste of his time. probably has a bastard or two running around though.

virgins

law: he's the type that has to have a strong emotional connection with someone before sleeping with them. definitely a bit insecure, especially if his partner has prior experience, and can get in his own head about it, but once he calms down, he's dedicated to making sure you both enjoy the intimacy you share together.

zoro: he cares too much about his swords and sees romance as a distraction; when he does fall in love, it creeps up on him so slowly that he's in too deep to back out. isn't too concerned about his lack of experience, he figures he'll learn through doing.

luffy: too busy eating meat. is also too busy doing other things to even think about romance or sex. but watch out—once he finally does it with you and realizes how fun it is, he's hooked.

#one piece x reader #sanji x reader #zoro x reader #roronoa zoro x reader #luffy x reader #monkey d luffy x reader #one piece headcanons #mihawk x reader #dracule mihawk x reader #doflamingo x reader #usopp x reader #eustass kid x reader #eustass kidd x reader #portgas d ace x reader #corazon x reader #shachi x reader #penguin x reader