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#they're so annoying why do we love them
x-exo-l · 2 years
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Bible Sumettikul and Build Jakapan being such a tease.
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my greatest achievement in DA2 is maxing out Carver's friendship
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and all it took was begrudgingly kissing a little templar ass in act 1 because Carver didn't want to plan a prison break if my Hawke got his ass arrested for being stupid.
#carver hawke#dragon age#dragon age 2#da2#well that and he didn't want leandra gamlen and himself to also get arrested for harboring an apostate but you get me#carver hawke loves his sibling and doesn't want them to get taken away that's why he's such an ass and approves of 'pro-templar' choices#in act 1 he's not pro-templar himself but kissing a little templar ass is how you avoid being arrested#'why yes cullen you are so right the templars are so cool and sexy' my hawke says through gritted teeth for that +5 friendship#look i love him okay he's my favorite and i will go the extra mile to make him happy and it's worth it for how much softer can be later on#honestly maxing out his friendship isn't hard if you're aware of what quests you're bringing him on and make him a grey warden#oh but you do need the legacy dlc otherwise you can't fully max friendship out... you can still get enough to change his dialogue/attitude#also like... we the player know hawke won't be arrested like they're not in any actual dangers from the templars as the playable character#but carver doesn't know that and neither does hawke so the templars *are* a real threat to them#and it's incredibly reckless to purposely piss off templars AND selfish because it's not just hawke that'll be arrested it's their family#for harboring them like we witness templars going after people hiding apostates soooo.....#i'm just saying that carver isn't irrational or just being an ass to personally annoy you okay he has cause#also once carver's a warden and ed has money and the estate THEN he's way more open about telling the templars to piss off#sigh one day i'll sit down and write an essay about carver.... one day
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pagesofkenna · 19 days
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it's basically the same explanation as in the manga, but the anime has made it easier for me to understand what Kabru's beef is with the Touden siblings, and I think that explanation was really well done
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camellcat · 2 months
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WTFFF I thought thirteen would be my new girl crush love of my life heart eyes wife you-came-after-twelve-you-must-be-better-than-they're-all-saying bbygirl and then I had to sit down and watch as she told a man who (if he were not a murderer, of course) literally every regeneration before her would've LOVED and FULLY SUPPORTED that "the systems aren't the problem. how people use and exploit the system, that's the problem. people like you" </33333 !?!?
#WHERE IS THAT POST THAT SAID NINE WOULD KILL THIRTEEN FOR BEING A CLASS TRAITOR#WHY WOULD YOU SAY “ERODE PEOPLE'S TRUST IN AUTOMATION” ALL WORRIED AND CONCERNED LIKE THAT???#WHEN DID YOU START LIKING AUTOMATION OVER PEOPLE THINKING AND DOING THINGS FOR THEMSELVES???#AND WHY ARE YOU TRAVELING WITH A COPPER??? WE HATE COPPERS??????#did we FORGET into the dalek?? how about how he treated danny?? god there's so much more I can't even remember off the top of my head#(I understand soldiers are different from cops but c'mon don't even PRETEND twelve would've been any nicer if blue or danny were just COPS)#also a bit off topic bUT MAY I JUST TALK ABOUT ARACHNIDS IN THE UK FOR HALF A GODAMNED SECOND—#I know the companions are usually the ones to do the doctor's dirty work here but like#I just can't see the other doctors NOT having the business man lure the spider for being so fuckin annoying about it#like I was genuinely surprised when they had him do that whole song and dance about not doing it and then he actually just. didn't do it#the doctor LOVES fucking with evil rich business men this is PERFECT. plus why not get back at him for being awful to their companions?#absolutely gobsmacked thirteen let him act like that. I am wrong in thinking that the others would've shut his shit down a LOT quicker??#anyways. I love jodie whittaker and it's just so upsetting to have her doctor do something so wildly off#THIRTEEN PLEASE I HAD SUCH FAITH IN YOUUU I WAS IGNORING THE HATERS AND FOR WHAT#I can SEE the other doctors in her still I can FEEL them they're there she's doing an AMAZING job but. oh my god. what did they make her do#I can't even say she feels ooc as a whole because jodie is bloody brilliant. it's just these... moments. that don't make ANY sense to me...#especially coming off of twelve?? I get the radical personality switch but that belief is a core part of the doctor. or at least I THOUGHT#thirteenth doctor#doctor who#I still love all of you who love her and reading ur posts/fics but I. will not be making any myself. I do not think.
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anotherpapercut · 7 months
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CORRECT THANK YOU FOR SHARING
#submission#I actually have seen this meme because someone sent it to my supervisor at some point and she showed it to all of us ajdbkajs#working with a bunch of gay autistic math nerds fucking rules lmfao y'all have no idea#one of my bosses is super into sci fi and is also a math teacher and puts star trek and firefly and buffy and hitchhikers guide etc etc#references in EVERYTHING he makes. I took a math class from him once and all of the test questions were about some fuckin show#whenever he runs meetings he asks us questions based on star trek usually. recently in a meeting he asked us to choose the best captain#I'm one of only like 3 people who watches all of this shit so I looove going to meetings when he runs them#bc he'll ask some fuckin question like who's the best star trek captain. and the 3 of us who knows what's going on will just start arguing#while everyone else looks around like what the fuck is going on right now (this one always gets the newbies)#my ALL TIME favorite Jake moment tho was when I was there one night and there were no students so we were all just hanging out#and Jake walks out of his office and he looks kind of annoyed. and he's a big dude like super tall and broad and loud as hell#so I can hear him like mumbling shit all annoyed and I'm like hey Jake what's up? you doin ok?#and he sighed and was like no. the schools internet filter started blocking my FAVORITE board game forum#and now when I have a thought I can't just look it up to see if anyone's said anything about it. and that's like ALL I do. it's so annoying#and I was like Jake maybe that's why they blocked it akddjkansbdjsdbebs#god I love that dude. and this barely mentions my other supervisor who is autistic and pansexual and married to a woman#and both of them foster several kids. Jake has like 10 fuckin kids or smth bc he was fostering a couple of kids and then he got married#and she already had children and then they had a baby together. idk he's got like a whole baseball team they're very cute
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I still very loathe the Media Trope of ‘’cold genius man doesn’t feel emotions and never has relationships... UNTIL.. one random relatively bland Preddy Woman comes along and warps his entire personality and ability to think, his heart has grown and his seeming asexuality has evaporated, he is now Normal :)” or whatever like... AS a walking generic hermit archetype myself.. we would NOT act like that .... just let people be detached weirdos in peace, you cowards .. OR, don’t bother to write one in the first place if you find us too boring to exist realistically in our natural state lol.. pathetic 
#the only exception to this is its okay if he develops some pesudo-romantic psychologial fixation on one of his long suffering male sidekicks#or assistants or whatever (since this character acrhetype ALWAYS has some sort of like Straight Man Every Man helper to follow#him around and be an audience stand in. sometimes multiple like a whole team of assistants. sometimes just one etc.)#like a strange not-entirely-romance-but-mutualy-unhealthy-comedic-codependence w someone you worked w 25+ yrs COULD be in character. sure.#ASIDE from that one exception though..... just keep them aromantic and asexual.. why would someone who has been that way for their#entire fucking life suddenly be like ''well I've known this woman three weeks but she's really hot! whoops!''#''guess I'm going to act completely out of character! sometimes booba so booby it fundametally alters the dna of me personality. you know ho#w it is'' .. like shut up.. explode#It's not that I project personally onto these characters (writers are bad at writing them and they're generally annoying as shit) BUT just#like... coming FROM the perspective OF a cold detached ''robot'' seeming hermit freak.. like textbook scholar wizard man locked#away in a tower somewhere type personality... You just watch shows sometimes and you can SEE that the writers are trying to write#the Character Archetype that is your actual realworld personality and you're just like 'we do NOT fucking act like that!!!' lol#you know ? like .. i don't actually care about the characters themselves but more just.. the principle of the thing. staying true to what#has been set up. You can't be like ''oh yeah this is your typical cold detached hermit weirdo with zero interest in human relationships for#the most part blah blah blah'' and then 5 minutes later be like ''WAIT GUYS!! LOOK! they're still NORMAL! look they love booba#too!!! haha hashtag Relatable!!'' .. what have you done to him.. you've massacred the archtype.. cowardly fool#Also I'm referencing them as male because this character archtetype is usually male but the same thing can apply for other gendered versions#of the archetype. it's ALWAYS annoying. no matter what it is lol. GOD AND IT'S even worse when they're supposed to be like hundreds or thous#ands of years old like.. some sort of supernatural being who's ''above it all'' because they've seen the world's cycles for so long#and blah blah and then it's like ''omg.. suddenly into romance.. for some reason all 900 years of my life nobody has ever been good#enough but YOU.. random ass person who I met 30 minutes ago and are completely average in every way or maybe you have like one#special power or are smart or something but apparently somehow I've lived 900 years without ever meeting a single other smart person#or whatever but WOW.. you... instant soulamtes.. I am no longer aromantic and asexual. I am also no longer smart.''#at least if it's a human with a normal lifespan you can be like 'well they were only 30. maybe they genuinely did just have their first#sexul awakening' or something but.. you're telling me like.. 900 years??? 1000 years?? and NOW they're like 'whooa!!' lol#Which obviously all aroace people are different.. all people with autism or schizoid pd or any other mental illnesses that can sometimes#lend people towards that type of 'weird hermit' archetype are all different. plenty of these people WILL have relationships and sex and desi#re those things. but it's like.. if you are OBVIOUSLY  setting out to write that one VERY specific archetype within the broader archetype#then GO ALL THE WAY!! you cant have someone be like HALF-detached partial-hemrit sometimes-maybe-genuis or whatever#or I guess you can but like. it should be that way from the beginning. it's the random sudden shift in personality thats jarring
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musical-chick-13 · 5 months
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Fandom be normal about bi women challenge (impossible. apparently.)
#look. I too am tired of (white) men getting praised for the bare minimum#but you all do realize that sometimes women do genuinely fall in love with men right#that women are capable of making their own decisions about who they date right#this is one of the reasons that I hate the 'genuinely I hate every single individual man' rhetoric#because so many times it goes hand in hand with this infantilization of women who are attracted to men#it's like 'oh these poor girls trapped in their attraction to men' and then like...treating them as if they are incapable of making informe#choices? like they're just inherently doomed to gravitate toward awful men because they Don't Know Any Better and are#Brainwashed By Society??? please tell me you understand why treating women as if they are too stupid to make their own decisions#is just misogyny again. you understand that right. RIGHT.#'why would you CHOOSE to date a man instead of doing the RESPONSIBLE and PROGRESSIVE and REVOLUTIONARY thing and date a woman!'#because sometimes. women fall in love with men. you can't. you can't will love into existence. you can't control who you fall in love with.#and people-if it's feasible-tend to want to commit to someone they have actual feelings for. what's not clicking here.#(and yes obviously this is a niche-queer-spaces-specific problem people don't have discourse about this in this way irl like the#general population isn't telling me I should only ever be attracted to women and date one solely For The Cause they don't want me#to be interested in women at all. that doesn't stop me from being annoyed every time I see said niche-space-specific ''''take'''')#it's especially confusing to me when BISEXUAL PEOPLE are like this about other bisexual people. like you of all people. should know#how maligned we are from multiple conflicting angles#In the Vents#biphobia#like I know I talk SO much about women and how I want to marry one but that genuinely is just because historically I have been more#attracted to women than men. if I meet a man I click with and fall in love with then hell yeah I'm gonna date him and be happy about it.#I'm not opposed to that outcome at all. but heaven forbid I ever say that lmao
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detritivoresquad · 1 year
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Ik the new show is laughably bad but and so scooby doo is on everyones minds but im going to start throwing shit if I have to hear tumblr user #258 talking about how THEY would make an adult scooby doo. Not everyones ideas are bad this website is just too predictable and annoying sometimes
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lettersiarrange · 7 months
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hey i'm the one who asked if you were a terf. I apologize for making it seem like an accusation, I've seen you reblog trans friendly stuff so I was confused but I shouldn't have worded it like that. I'm also not an expert with terf dogwhistles and stuff, but I do have shinigami eyes so the blog was highlighted in red. the blog is femmesandhoney and you reblogged their post from radgalacticacrew (this one is not highlighted).
And yeah, I get it, it's not like every single one of their posts are hateful bullshit, so you couldn't have known and no one combs through every blog they reblog from. I made a hasty judgment for something obvious to me and not to you (thanks to shinigami eyes) when I could just have given you a heads-up that you reblogged a terf. Again, sorry about that !
No worries. I appreciate the heads up that I was (unintentionally) engaging with terfs and the blogs in question so I can block them. I definitely don't want to come off as being at all affiliated with terfs so I'm glad to know I may have accidentally been giving that impression so I can fix it. I'm hoping to hunt down whatever secret terf I'm following so tumblr will stop reccomending me their innocuous-on-the-surface-but-with-terfy-undertones likes. In the meantime tho I'll block the blogs you pointed out so I don't make that mistake again.
I *have* heard of shingami eyes and DO think it's a cool idea, but I guess I'm also a little hesitant to do it myself. This kind of like "the computer/algorithm/program tells you who's Problematic" thing just feels a bit too close to, like, McCarthyism for me? I don't know how things get flagged and if they go through human review and what the guidelines are (which, to be fair, I might be able to find out, I haven't looked), but I always just feel like I'd rather personally see someone being shitty and suspicious and react to that than be informed by someone else/a program that someone is a Suspicious Person. But at the same time, clearly it's not like the program auto-blocks anyone flagged, it's just a heads up so you can do your own investigating, so I get it. I'm just not sure it's my vibe. But also my current strategy isn't 100% effective so it may be worth considering additional tools. 🤷‍♀️ something for me to think abt for sure.
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m0e-ru · 9 months
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just read the entirety of ep adachi in a spreadsheet within an hour this is exactly how kagutsuchi would've wanted it
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transboykirito · 1 year
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...see, do you guys not like some of the sao girls for actual reasons or do you not like them because they get in the way of your ships
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yoonstudios · 1 year
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#another vent! don't read if you don't want to! it's long.#so um. my mom and i got in a small fight while out shopping. not anything extraordinary just a regular small dispute and she got#kind of annoyed. and whenever anyone annoys her she *always* says 'it's fine' or 'i'm fine/over it" and it has become noticeable to me#over time. so i told her 'i know you're annoyed with me' and she literally told me 'fine. do you want me to just start telling me that#i'm annoyed with you??' and i was like 'what? yes! why wouldn't i want you to??' but she didn't really answer it. we got into the car#and i said 'sorry i didn't mean to upset you earlier' and of course she was like 'oh it's fine' so i just said to her:#'what i wanted to say was that telling me how i annoyed you and told me what you thought would get us a lot further than just covering your#emotions with a constant 'i'm fine' and not telling me anything.'#and was just like: 'i love you madison but that's not how it works.'#like ????? girl yes it is how it works!! good communication strengthens trust in relationships!! how is this a foreign concept to you??#but something clicked when she said 'look your father hates it when people talk about their feelings or how actions and words#make them feel. if i get used to telling you how you made me feel then i'll start doing it to your father.'#and i just fuckin. sat there. i didn't even say anything for a good minute bc i was so astonished but everything like. made sense.#this house is so full of 'i don't care' 'fuck you/off' 'i'm fine' and so many other harsh words and careless but hostile name-calling—#we don't even know how to tell each other how we feel and think. there's no healthy connection. whenever someone gets emotional by#crying or saying something about how they feel they're called 'soft' 'snowflake' 'sensitive' or sometimes worse names i won't mention#but it's all the same shit. the shaming of being human is revolting but it also shows how dysfunctional this household is. like#it seriously checks every. single. mark. i don't even tell my mom about my problems because all i ever get back is a 'just relax' or#'stop being ridiculous' and there's no sign of comfort or trying to problem-solve anything. it's just 'get over it you'll be fine.'#it made me realize that everyone in this house doesn't know how to properly communicate or work through emotions- thoughts- and conflicts.#myself included. ever since the age of 9 i had such a hard HARD time showing and receiving affection (physical and emotional) from friends#but i didn't know why! it just felt so goddamn foreign! but now it just. now i understand where my deeply rooted#emotional unavailability came from. healthy communication of affection and conflict was never shown to me and all i ever saw from#my parents were fights. lots and lots of fights. i think i thought that's all normal relationships looked like. i thought any affection or#display of healthy communication was fake and a trap of some kind so i just never even chanced a good friendship. i started having healthy#friendships just in late 2020 when i started realizing what in the fuck was going on. i'm more mature than a reserved 9 year old girl now#of course so i'm learning how to be more emotionally available but. i just need a minute. what the fuck.
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icharchivist · 4 months
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cw: child abuse (psychological, grooming, ect)
also speaking of parental abuse there's also this text of how Millie wants to be Tyra's mother, but she doesn't want anything that makes Tyra unique.
She started loving Tyra the moment she saw her find some dinosaure when she was dying in the cold and starved after being separated from her parents, seeing that despite her situation, Tyra was so excited about finding a Tyranosaure she was forgetting how desperate her situation was and instead loved the dino right away.
Millie saw how excited Tyra was about it, and loved Tyra right away enough to decide to make her hers.
But Millie hates dinosaurs, she finds them disgusting, she uses them as tool and keeps insulting them, hates that Tyra sees them as her family.
she used the dinos as bait to get Tyra to pay attention to her, and she used a particularities of the dino to mind control Tyra
but even now as Tyra is being brainwashed, everytime she looks at the dinos, Millie just tells her "don't look at those disgusting things, just look at me, your momma"
and it's another level of control that rings way too true on parents who """"""love""""" their children, but not for who they are -- just for what it brings them.
yes Tyra is cute. But everything she likes, everything that makes her happy, is disgusting. So it needs to be removed from Tyra's life. Her love and her excitement has to carry over to Millie, not to the stuff she actually like.
it's something way too real and it's genuinely giving me the yikes it makes me unwell.
#ichablogging gbf#ichablogging tyraevent#sorry massive tmi in the tags#sorry it struck a cord bc it's something that's been on my mind for days with my own mom and i'm just. god.#my sis has a new boyfriend who happens to have 3 children - including two very cute twin girls who are adorable#i meet them for the holidays and we hit off right away. they're very cute and hyperactive and everything#and i kept encouraging them in that so they really imprinted on me hard that i legit couldn't get away from their cuddles aha#point is though that i was talking about it with my mom afterward#and she was all 'you know they remind me so much of you when you were a child. thats why i found it so shocking when you closed yourself in#and it hits me hard in the. who's. who's fault do you think it is.#because i saw how all of the adults around us were rolling their eyes at the girls#i saw how all of them were telling them to calm down or telling them straight up they were annoying and exhausting#i saw how when i tried to tell a cute story from my dad's home to the girls (about saving a hedgehog once)#my mom tried to derail the topic on how she's been done horribly dirty by my father -- directly to the girls#like. mom. they're 7. why the fuck are you cutting me when i tell them something they're interested about to tell them such a heavy thing.#and with xmas obligation and the fact i'm forced to be here but i'm mostly ignored most of the time and cut off#(s/o to the family member who said they didn't want to hear anything from me because i was 'neither interesting nor smart' a while ago)#also it reminds me of how my mom loves to brag about how passionate i am but always cut me off & belittle me bc she hates what i care about#it keeps reminding me of that. saying they love you but they don't care about anything about you. it's about what you bring them.#it hits fucking hard the timing is too tight i legit had a family thing yesterday which was the reason i could only read this event today#Granblue why would you do this to me
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taylor-titmouse · 2 months
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hey i want to talk about how you should be promoting your work as an erotic author/illustrator
i'm writing this up because the marketing aspect of my work as an erotic author/illustrator is a science to me, and also because i'm the guy who gets unreasonably annoyed when i see other creators not properly advertising their work. you presumably want to make money off your work. this post will be written under the assumption you want to make money off your work but are doing a bad job at it. it will be very confrontational. if you read this and feel attacked you're right and i am attacking you.
this is geared toward selling erotic comics/writing/books/art as products. i will probably write more than one post about this subject so if i didn't touch on something you want to know more about, comment/send me an ask and i'll keep it in mind for the next one.
i will start with my first and least specific but most important point:
DON'T GET FUCKING CUTE
hi are you paying attention. i'm gripping you by the sides of your face. do not get fucking cute with what you are trying to sell. you are not a big enough property to get cute, nobody LIKES it when big properties get cute, and you are selling porn. you have to own this. you have to be up front about this. don't be tongue in cheek, don't be all teehee i wonder what this could be~, don't be secretive. you are selling a product. you have to fucking act like it. you are an adult selling pornography to other adults. i am GRIPPING your HEAD you NEED to understand this.
and to be clear when i say 'cute' i mean coy. i don't mean cutesy, as in the aesthetic. you can be as hello kitty pastel ten emojis a post uwu as you like when you're building your audience and generating hype. but when you start trying to sell, don't be vague, don't be sarcastic, don't mislabel your work as a joke and assume everyone is on it. because they're not.
you must always assume 75% of the people seeing the thing you are advertising have no fucking idea who you are. and that includes a huge chunk of the people who already follow you. they do not know who you are or what you've been working on for two months or why they should care about it. they just got here. somebody just reposted it. they are seeing it for the first time. most people are only looking at social media for a tiny chunk of their day. they are not keeping up with you. you cannot get cute about what you are trying to sell because nobody knows what it is until you tell them.
okay are you still with me. we are going to talk about clarity now.
YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT IT IS
good lord the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's comic or book and had no idea what's actually in it or what it's about. who are the characters? why should i care about them? what do they do in it? what is the premise of this thing you want me to spend $5 on? why would you not tell me? i'm shaking you again. please i have to know what i'm buying i only have so much money to spend on porn.
porn, arguably more than any other genre, relies on knowing exactly what is in it. you do not want to surprise your readers with a kink they were unaware of! and on the flip side, you do not want to miss out on your target audience! if your book contains a hot spider babe laying eggs in an elf, you have to say so. not just so people who don't want to read about eggs know it isn't for them, but so the people who are egg crazy can see that and go "oh fuck YES i love EGGS here is my $5 and an extra $2 tip for catering to me specifically". a contents/features list is as much an advertisement as it is a warning!
as for re: who the characters are and why should i care, i'm sorry but you need to learn how to write sales copy. you have to write blurbs. you have to get good at the shit that goes on the back of a book. we all hate it but we have to do it. i want to know who the characters are and what the context is. i, personally, am not interested in contemporary stories as much as fantasy and historical. please tell me what genre this porn exists in so i know if it aesthetically appeals to me. pull some books off your shelves and see how they do it. hell man go look at mine.
while you're there, note that every single book of mine has a sample of what's in it. this feels like such a no-brainer to me but again! the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's work and they don't show me what their work looks like! you gotta give me the first page or two! just enough that i know if i like the way your writing sounds, or the way you draw your comics! i don't know you! i am not going to trust that you're good at what you do just based on a cover. the cover is to get me to this step, it is not the only step. you have to show me that you're worth spending my money on!
to put it less cynically, you want to catch my interest. you want me to go 'oh i want to see more of this', you want me to go 'ahh i want to know where this goes!' you need to get me invested and craving more. earn my $5!!!
YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT EASY TO GIVE YOU MONEY
hey go look at your bio right now. go look at your pinned post. do you have a link to your patreon there? do you have a link to your itchio/gumroad/whatever? do i have to click more than once to get to the places you want me to go to give you money? why? why are you making me click twice? have we learned nothing from every website making you click an extra time when they make some stupid UI update and how much it pisses us off? i have already given up, i have forgotten you, i am not giving you my $5 today. put your links in the easiest places to get to them.
god literally as i was writing this post i went to go find somebody's itchio to see how they described their work and it was not anywhere on their profile. grabbing you and shaking you PUT THE LINK WHERE I CAN FIND IT. don't make it hard! make it easy! i am a dickhead sitting on the toilet scrolling, saw your post, and was interested enough to read further. but you made me go to your bio to find your linktree and oops i have already gone back to my timeline to look at the boobies in the next post. stop wasting precious bio space on DNIs and put your fuckin links there!!!
this is more for the twitter people, but: just put the link in the damn post. just say the word commission. just say it's for patreon. "wuh wuh the algorithm" it is not the damn algorithm it's that everybody hates advertising and nobody wants to retweet ads. putting slashes in the words doesn't do anything and you look like a fool. i have posted so much art that says it's 'a commission for ___" and it did exactly as good as any other art despite having the word commission in it. and by doing the slashes you just made it impossible for anybody to search your account for your commission information (which should be at the VERY LEAST in a post under your pinned tweet if you're not actively posting about them being open).
okay that went on a tangent i'm going to back to the point of putting the link in the tweet. put it in the first post. not in the first reply. don't tell them to go to your bio. put it in the post people are actually going to share. it's fine to put more information in the thread but people are only ever going to share the first post. so put the link there. you have to make it easy. putting links in tweets can hurt you algorithmically, even in the replies. so you're better off having it in the post that actually gets seen and shared. i don't want to open the tweet and scroll to get to your sales page where i ASSUME you will have put all the information anyway. put it in the tweet that just got retweeted by itself onto my dash!
also you have to share it a ton of times. i repost my shit every few hours when i'm trying to push a new product. as i said before people are not 24/7 looking at their timelines. they missed it the first time. they missed it the second time. they didn't get paid yet that week but they were after the eighth time and you reminded them again so they finally bought it. that i will still get sales every time i repost a book ad weeks after release says there are always people who missed it, or who only just showed up.
abandon your pride and shill. shills pay their bills. anyone who gets annoyed about it isn't giving you money in the first place. don't worry about looking like a sell out. don't apologize for plugging your own work. post about it often, post about it in different ways. post about it. post about it. you are not going to make money if people don't know you have something to sell them. if you want to make a career out of it, you need to act like it.
I DON'T HAVE A FOURTH POINT
kisses your forehead. i'm sorry for yelling at you. i've been making and publishing and selling adult art for the past two-three years and have got myself to the point where it pays my rent, and i got there by paying attention to what does and does not work.
please do your best to make money. i want you to make money.
as i said above i plan to write more posts on this subject, such as cover design, how to actually write sales copy, and best practices with running a patreon, but if there's things you would want to hear more about leave a comment or send an ask! i will probably be less aggressive on future topics. these are just things that have grinded my gears for a grip.
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astonmartinii · 13 days
Text
ice, ice baby (literally) | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x raikkonen!reader
the ice man may have never spoken, but his daughter never shuts the fuck up
based on the request from @blue-skyandstars
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, sebastianvettel and 783,409 others
yourusername: taking names and kicking asses (and getting all assignments in on time with an appropriate amount of ass licking)
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user1: i love how she is so clearly kimi's daughter
user2: the only two blondes that don't freak me out
user3: insert that paris hilton clip "can i have two more of these little blonde bitches?"
maxverstappen1: what's an appropriate amount of ass licking and can i demonstrate on you?
maxverstappen1: wait! who said that?
yourusername: in your dreams car boy
maxverstappen1: trust me i see you in my dreams all the time
yourusername: so that's why you're always in the shower when i call you in the morning....
user4: i'm new here, are they together?
yourusername: wouldn't you like to know weather boy
maxverstappen1: she's actually my sleep paralysis demon, sorry to say
user5: they're so unserious
kimiraikkonen: keep those studies up i'm paying the bills
yourusername: i promise to use my status as a nepo baby for good papa 🫡
kimiraikkonen: proud of you.
user6: we love a self aware girly
user7: the raikkonen household really is the best balance, a guy who acts like talking causes him physical pain and a girl who couldn't shut the fuck up if she tried
yourusername: no way i'd rather it be
charles_leclerc: how many versions of that shirt do you have?
yourusername: enough...
charles_leclerc: and i'm the one who is a threat to national security when i go shopping
yourusername: that trouser collection should get you on some sort of list
user8: all these f1 drivers in her likes and comments and she's not cuffed... why is she fumbling so bad
yourusername: am I fumbling or are THEY?
user9: expose the dms please
yourusername: that would not be pg13 soz!
maxverstappen1
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liked by kimiraikkonen, landonorris and 1,094,556 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: oh look who decided to come back
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user10: max is so annoyed that she decided to go to school in the us that he makes all american fans lives hell by winning all the races
user11: so true of him
landonorris: matching books? you're such a simp
maxverstappen1: is a man forbidden to be in a book club? who backwards of you lando
yourusername: just because you can't read, don't take it out on us
landonorris: i can read!
yourusername: name the last book you read
yourusername: and that doesn't include searching your name on twitter
landonorris: can you go back already, you're so mean
yourusername: don't come for our two man book club if you can't handle the smoke
maxverstappen1: what she said
user12: i love how spring break starts and y/n doesn't even go to see her dad, straight to max
maxverstappen1: kimi is coming! i am NOT a bad friend who deprives y/n of her dad
user12: you're also scared of kimi
maxverstappen1: i'm also scared of kimi
danielricciardo: you're in my building and i don't get any baked goods... i see how it is
yourusername: as if max is allowed to eat them anyway they're for dad
danielricciardo: i promptly take back anything i've ever said
user13: max has got to be down bad to have that much baking equipment in his house when it's canon he can barely cook eggs
yourusername: if he wanted to he would
user14: is this confirmation?
yourusername: i hope those are paper straws you're grasping at
maxverstappen1: why wouldn't i make sure i have the equipment to get my worker bee to make me sweet treats (don't read that rupert)
user15: i'm on to you two ... there's something shady going on here
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sebastianvettel
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liked by kimiraikkonen, maxverstappen1 and 1,209,409 others
tagged: yourusername
sebastianvettel: she's too old, i miss when she was a nice and polite child
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user19: annual god father seb appearance
user20: y/n please work your magic to get him to a race this weekend
yourusername: i'm working on it! watch out for suzuka
user21: the people's princess truly
yourusername: rude! i am a very polite young woman 🙁
sebastianvettel: yes you are, but also when you were ten you didn't bother me with your love life
sebastianvettel: and you weren't so fussy with food
yourusername: I AM NOT FUSSY I JUST HAVE AN ACQUIRED TASTE
sebastianvettel: you asked me to uninvite lewis to our dinner plans because you "hate that quinoa shit, i'm hungry enough to kill a horse with my bare hands"
yourusername: and i'd say it again!
lewishamilton: first of all: rude. second of all: i knew there was a reason you and max get on so well - BLAND
maxverstappen1: just because my food doesn't turn my shit green or couldn't accidentally be sold in the rabbit section of the pet store doesn't make me BLAND
yourusername: i don't trust a man who makes non-alocholic tequila THE FACT IT GETS YOU DRUNK IS THE BEST PART OF THE TEQUILA ONLY WEIRDOS DRINK TEQUILA FOR THE TASTE
lewishamilton: gasp! you said you liked it!
yourusername: i try to be supportive okay :(
user22: well that was something
user23: max always coming to the rescue ... makes you think
charles_leclerc: i am sensing some blatant favouritism here
mickschumacher: i never get invited on baking weekends :(
yourusername: snooze you lose ladies
sebastianvettel: this is exactly what i mean y/n
yourusername: my bad! i'm sorry my god father loves me more than you :p get well soon
sebastianvettel: that's not-
charles_leclerc: consider yourself in beef
yourusername: it's on babe
user24: gosh i'm so confused WHO THE FUCK DO I WANT TO GET WITH HER
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, kimiraikkonen and 809,445 others
yourusername: boy, oh, boy am i ready to finish this semester
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user26: i see tulips i do deduce that they are from max verstappen 🤓👆
user27: i hate you invasive leeches (i believe this and it is now my personal headcanon)
maxverstappen1: SEAT BELT PLEASE
yourusername: i swear i did 😫
maxverstappen1: you need to protect the precious goods
landonorris: you never tell me that 🙁
maxverstappen1: you're not precious goods, hope this helps x
landonorris: i see how it is
yourusername: don't hate the player, hate the game lando
user28: they've either got the single most flirtatious friendship ever to exist or they're together
user29: if they are just friends and those flowers are from her actual gf - i am not being dramatic but i would take a long walk off a short plank
user30: i feel like they'd be the ultimate cockblocks for each other 😭
kimiraikkonen: proud of you bub
yourusername: i am losing hair from academic stress i hope you're happy papa
kimiraikkonen: i am 👍🏻
yourusername: i am losing hair - LOSING HAIR THIS IS A BIG DEAL YOU PAY FOR MY APPOINTMENTS
kimiraikkonen: you need a college education so you're not wasting all of my money - i also pay your sorority dues so be nice to me
yourusername: i'm tired let me be the low effort nepo baby i am meant to be
user31: can kimi raikkonen pay for my hair appointments too?
jensonbutton: is that MY CAR?
yourusername: you put me on the insurance?
jensonbutton: yeah for when your car was in the shop - i thought shelby was still in my garage?
yourusername: not to victim blame but having so many cars you don't notice one is gone, that's on you
jensonbutton: @KIMIRAIKKONEN YOUR KID STOLE MY CAR
yourusername: britt gave me the keys !!!!!!
kimiraikkonen: you got duped by a 21 year old, that's not my fault
user32: kimi when y/n jokes about dropping out 🤨 kimi when y/n steals one of jenson's cars 🥹
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maxverstappen1
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liked by kimiraikkonen, landonorris and 2,305,689 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: ice, ice baby (except you're smoking hot)
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user35: WHOOP WHOOP LET'S FUCKING GO
user36: max already having the approval of kimi, that's my king
maxverstappen1: make no mistake i went to the raikkonen household with many offerings before i asked for his permission
user37: and if he had said no?
maxverstappen1: i would've asked y/n regardless 🫡
kimiraikkonen: 🤨
maxverstappen1: uh? i'm digging my own grave but i love your daughter so that's all the matters right? RIGHT?
kimiraikkonen: 🙄
maxverstappen1: WOULD IT KILL YOU TO USE THE KEYBOARD I'M HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN HERE
user38: the way max got given approval on live tv with more words than we've heard from kimi at any point in his career and he's still a shaking mess
user39: anxious girl representation
yourusername: you melted this icicle
maxverstappen1: eh i think you've always been a softy
charles_leclerc: like softserve ice cream? shop @lec now!
maxverstappen1: do you fucking mind?
yourusername: really? on the post of my boyfriend professing his love?
charles_leclerc: god forbid a guy chases the bag (also he called you smoking hot, that's hardly a profession of love)
maxverstappen1: you little rat
yourusername: lifetime supply of lec and a flavour named after us and consider yourself forgiven
charles_leclerc: i don't need your approval that much
yourusername: @kimiraikkonen @sebastianvettel you seeing this shit?
charles_leclerc: fine... weaponising your dad and god father is a low blow
yourusername: also! i love you baby - thank you for putting up with my constant yapping xx
maxverstappen1: i love you even more, i can't wait for you to finish college so i never have to share you ever again
kimiraikkonen: 🤨
maxverstappen1: AND YOUR LOVELY FAMILY
yourusername: they love you really maxy don't worry
yourusername
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liked by sebastianvettel, jensonbutton and 1.945,440 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: i'm so talented, i brought three more championships to the family without even getting into the car
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user40: okay idk why yall were shipping anyone else, i've seen one picture of them being cute and am sold
user41: i'm so convinced this happened cause max saw people were convinced she was with other people on the grid and he had to mark his territory
maxverstappen1: yes i was jealous but can you blame me? prettiest girl in the world actually wanted me back. i will not fumble this
user42: i need my man to be this down bad for me
kimiraikkonen: cute.
yourusername: thank you papa xxx
maxverstappen1: THANK YOU KIMI, LOVE YOU KIMI
yourusername: i think he gets it babe...
maxverstappen1: first time i've got a non-emoji answer, i will savour it
user43: oh my i love them your honour
sebastianvettel: happy for you guys, see you guys soon
yourusername: love you seb!
maxverstappen1: thanks for the vote of confidence seb
sebastianvettel: you may be a literal nightmare child, but you're our nightmare child now
kimiraikkonen: what he said
maxverstappen1: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (i am ignoring that you called me a nightmare child, i was 17 give me a break)
yourusername: you guys he's crying hahahahahah
maxverstappen1: i just love you guys (y/n more)
yourusername: i love you too xx
user44: so liked now we've got the relationship reveal... when do we get both y/n and kimi in the red bull garage
user45: lets up the stakes and get max, kimi and seb in the 24 hours of le mans
yourusername: oh now you've started it - he's already on the phone to adrian
maxverstappen1: am i the first nepotism boyfriend?
kimiraikkonen: you might be the favourite of the in-laws if you get me a le mans win
maxverstappen1: y/n is an only child? i'm the only in law?
kimiraikkonen: yes?
maxverstappen1: I'M ON THE PHONE TO ADRIAN
yourusername: did i just lose my boyf to my dad?
fin.
note: babe the writer's block is back. but i'm fighting it. hope yall enjoyed this!
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steviesbicrisis · 6 months
Text
A Barbie AU where the Kens decide, in order to get some recognition, to get individual names.
Steve, who’s just a Ken very good with kids, is having an identity crisis after his Barbie, journalist Barbie, broke up with him.
Not even picking a name as unique and special as Steve, so much different than Ken, managed to cheer him up.
Everyone keeps saying he should be happy about the change, and discover who he is outside of Barbie’s orbit, but he can’t see what was so wrong in their relationship. He loved waiting all day for Barbie to look at him, even if it was for a brief second.
As if going through an existential crisis wasn't enough, he has to do it under the constant mocking of his archnemesis, Ke- Eddie.
Eddie, with his long curly and annoyingly gorgeous hair, who has a sense of style he would give all of his rollerblades for, and who's always there to notice whenever Steve makes a mistake.
Eddie even has his Barbie still by his side, cheerleader Barbie, and every time Steve sees them together he gets a sick feeling in his stomach, like a tummy ache. Doctor Barbie visited him a couple of times and found nothing wrong with him, he imagines he's a little jealous of Eddie for being with a Barbie.
Steve talks about this with Polyglot Barbie, his best friend, annoying her to death.
"Why are we talking about Ken, again?" she interrupts Steve's retelling of his last encounter with Eddie.
"It's Eddie" Steve corrects her.
"Right," she nods. She's very supportive of their silly-name-thing (how most Barbies call it), but she still has trouble remembering all the names, "why are we still talking about him?"
They're hanging out at the park, sitting under a tree, Barbie's leg on top of his, and they're holding hands. It's nice. Steve is happy to have a best friend like Barbie.
Steve looks up, meeting Eddie's gaze. He's sitting at one of the picnic tables not far away from them, doing nothing besides glaring at Steve.
Barbie squeezes his hand to get his attention back, and Steve looks away.
"Because he keeps tormenting me! he's even glaring at me right now, I'm gonna get stress wrinkles!" Steve finally replies, in a distressed tone.
"You're being dramatic," she says, matter-of-factly, "Eddie isn't so bad with you. You know, he kinda treats you like his Barbie."
If Steve had a beating heart, it probably would've stopped right at this second.
"What?"
"You know, he's always looking for you, he is always giddy whenever you give him a crumble of attention. He hangs out where you hang out... why do you think he's sitting all alone at a picnic table, just staring at you?"
"Maybe he's waiting for his girlfriend" he suggests.
"Are you talking about Cheerleader Barbie?" she giggles, "she's not his girlfriend, trust me."
"But he picks on me! all the time! Like this morning, I tripped and he made a comment about my legs!" He gestures at his legs with his free hand.
Barbie tilts her head to the side "you mean this morning at the beach when he held you in his arms for ten minutes to prevent you from falling and Barbie had to tell him to let you go?"
"… yeah” he manages to say. He hadn’t realized how long Eddie held him in his arms, he was upset about almost falling in front of him, but he also liked the feeling of his arms around him.
Everything feels different now.
Barbie's look softens "How does this make you feel?"
"I don't know" he answers, honestly "I just can't stop thinking about him."
A loud noise at their right startles them off of their conversation. They turn around to see Eddie lying on the floor, a trash can at his feet.
Steve doesn't give himself the time to realize that Eddie has probably heard their entire conversation and has tripped on that trash can because of it, he just rushes to Eddie's side to help him out.
Eddie stammers while Steve pulls him back up, not making much sense.
Steve is used to see Eddie as an intimidating guy, someone to compete with for Barbie’s attention. He never realized how much he liked to have Eddie’s attention instead, nor how he loved to give that attention back in equal amount.
“Nice legs” he tells him, repeating the same words Eddie told him that morning.
Eddie stops his incoherent stream of words when he hears him “what?”
“You heard me” Steve says.
“I did” Eddie admits. He pulls the trash can back up, to have an excuse to not look at Steve when he asks “you can’t stop thinking about me?”
For some reason, that’s the easiest question Steve has ever had to answer to “yes, I can’t.”
Eddie jolts back up startling Steve, the trash can falling out of his hands and hitting the ground once again.
“Cool” he says, using all of his willpower to hide his excitement by keeping a relaxed face, failing miserably.
“I guess” Steve grins. Knowing he has that effect on Eddie is making him the most confident he has ever felt in his life.
“So, since you can’t stop thinking about me…” Eddie repeats, in a tone that Steve would’ve mistaken for a mocking one until few hours ago “…we could hang out on the beach later. I’ll bring my guitar.”
“I’ll bring mine too then” Steve replies immediately.
Eddie panics “We can’t both have a guitar!”
Steve crosses his arms on his chest “who says that?”
Eddie opens and closes his mouth a couple of times then mutters, defeated, “fine.”
“Great!” Steve takes a step forward and gives Eddie a peck on his cheek “I’ll see you later.”
Eddie, who makes a face again trying to hide his excitement, nods and turns away “cool.”
He walks away slowly, towards the park’s exit. Right by the gate, he throws himself into an hedge. Steve can clearly hear him when he screams words along the lines of “FINALLY”, “I HAVE A DATE” and “SUBLIME”.
Steve turns to Robin who has witnessed the whole thing, while Eddie is still screaming random words from the bushes.
“I think I’m in love.”
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