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#they're still his family ok
quietbirdee · 2 years
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and I love you, and I'm glad, and I'm grateful you were here for me, you were kind to me, and I love you, I love you, I love you
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sorrelpaws · 1 year
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proper refs for my new r&m ocs :-) more info BELOW
morty v-37 - basically gets used as a human shield and then promptly left for dead by his previous rick(which is why hes got the scar and prosthetics), y-4441 finds him and fixes him up + erases his memories of the whole nearly dying thing. he’s pretty chillaxed and a bit more cynical than an average morty, more “rickish” i guess idk. tends to be skeptical, likes poking holes in rick’s arguments/inventions etc etc but like in a teasing way
rick y-4441 - very peppy, upbeat and emotional. he kind of reeaalllyyy dislikes the cfc and stays away from it as much as possible, especially after finding and unofficially adopting v-37. he’s not as tech savvy as most rick’s, his abilities are more akin to s1 rick’s skill level? as in, he lives off of scraps of materials and creative solutions, less god-like and more “old man in garage who happens to know physics and chemistry”. loves to ramble about basically anything and happily indulges in morty’s hypotheticals/questions whatever. EXCEPT! for why morty doesnt have his fingers he shuts that topic down immediately just does not want to deal with that can of worms at allll
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yuri-is-online · 2 months
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I’ve been skimming through fluff fics lately, and a fun little realization popped up in my mind. It’s not often people talk about the downs in a potential relationship with the twst boys. For the sake of a more realistic perspective, I’ve got to ask. Who do you think is most likely to unintentionally hurt Yuu and why? - 🦐
Hello my shrimpy friend! So nice to hear from you, hope you're doing well. Fan fic in general isn't very focused on portraying the negative parts of a relationship because it's a form of escapism. People don't necessarily want to picture themselves in a bad spot in a relationship if they already are in one in real life, yk?
That being said making mistakes is part of any relationship so I do have some thoughts! They/them used for Yuu as always, this is angst so proceed with care.
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Azul- he doesn't have the healthiest mental framework surrounding friendships, and you do need to be friends with your SO to have a solid relationship. An actual relationship with Yuu would probably have a bumpy start as you two try to feel out what the dynamic is actually supposed to be. Take it slow and everything will be fine, but there might be some hurt feelings along the way. And a lot of assumptions from other people about your relationship that don't help either of you.
LEONA- he's a rude ass bitch who doesn't have great manners I am so sorry to this man. To be fair though I think a lot of that rudeness would be something that would take place before the actual relationship, because I firmly believe if it's pointed out to Leona by his partner that he has communication issues he's more than willing to work on that with them. He would be a good boyfriend! It's just all the conversations up to the actual going out that's painful and might ruin what he wants before he actually gets it.
Riddle- so I don't think Riddle's treatment of Yuu is what might hurt them exactly, his issues as always have to do with his mother. He needs to figure out exactly how he wants to deal with his childhood trauma and his adult relationship with her, but that's going to take a lot of time and personal growth. Mrs. Rosehearts seems like the type to try and continue running her son's life after he graduates so I can't see her treating Riddle's partner well. Going no contact with an emotionally abusive parent is really hard for their children to do, Riddle needs love and support but the journey can be emotionally draining for the person giving that support.
Sebek- again with the family thing. His parents sound like wonderful people but his Grandfather seems to only like his grandchildren because they're half fae and still actively hates his son in law. I can't see him treating Yuu any better, which I could see being very draining since Sebek and his grandpa are very close. It could also be a chance for Baul to change a bit, which would be nice.
Cater and Idia- I'm making them share a spot because similarly to Leona I think the major hurts would be caused pre-relationship, but unlike him I don't see their communication issues as being something that would affect the relationship in the same way going forward. Cater has a lot of insecurities and can be a bit shallow, but he is a good friend so once he accepts Yuu as a safe space to speak openly and honestly I don't see them as having too many issues. Idia is also shown to be very open and honest with Ortho, his self hatred, temper, and inferiority/superiority complex just get in the way of him letting anyone else in.
In general, a lot of the twst guys have communication issues which is something people can work through, but would still cause some pain. Something to think about I suppose σ( ̄、 ̄=)
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bytebun · 1 year
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hey don’t cry. 10 million blorbos from your shows, okay?
#commander cody#obi-wan kenobi#uh. i guess implied#codywan#star wars#bytebun draws#ok on twitter sometimes japanese artists i follow will caption their au posts with 'delusion for those who can accept anything'#(and then explain the au) (or at least that's what google translate tells me)#that's how i feel about this one.#can't imagine a universe where this guy would sit down to play mario cart w his bf's family after an obvious crying jag#but like maybe he watched legally blond or something & got rlly moved#abt the main character finding her own path with an identity separate from her partner without losing the core elements of her personality#and self-expression. and also winning at the law. you know?#au cody can have elle woods as his blorbo.#in my au where he's doing law things re: clone citizenship#but also fuck stylizing crying genuinely hard. idk if i can get stylistically simpler than the first pic & still convey the precise emotion#that i want. i'm cheating there with like some actual shading instead of hard lines... more studying required#it's like difficult to draw people crying bc/ it's one of those emotions that changes the whole shape of your face... the invert of a#beaming smile. the tears aren't the important part... that's why the 'stoic guy sheds single tear trope' is so funny#they're out there w their plastic immobile faces and a fake tear when the important part is all those scrunched up microexpressions#someone trying rlly hard not to cry has the deeper mouth corners & tense brow-eyelid combo & that wrinkle near the nostril#unfortunately all of these lines are also the only indication of old age in most anime lmao so its so so hard to figure out how to draw em#shld do some ch*insawman or g*lden kmy studies probably. those guys r pretty good at funny looking faces
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bumblingbabooshka · 10 months
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Old men whose descriptions of their sons don't prepare you at all for what they're actually like (OR: "You're going to Starfleet academy and I don't want to hear another word about it!")
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nonuggetshere · 10 months
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PK: "...Kid..."
PV: "What? I'm just pointing out the obvious."
PK: "You're being a little shit is what you are."
WL: "Well, they're not wrong–"
PK: "Don't enable this."
(ID start: A picture of The Pale King, The White Lady and the Pure Vessel from Hollow Knight as humans. They're all wearing matching golden roses, a pin for Pure Vessel, a hair clip for the Pale King and a corsage for the White Lady. The Pure Vessel has their hand at the head height of their father, laughing about his height with their mother, much to the displeasure of the king. End ID.)
They're making fun of the monochronic manlet
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rapidhighway · 6 months
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going to dinner with my dad, manifesting nothing going down 🤞🤞🤞
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batcavescolony · 3 months
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I'm back talking about Harry Potter and Snape's worst memory because while I hate the author y'all bug me.
Snape worst memory isn't James bulling him or string him up in front of the school, (that was bad I'm not saying it wasn't) it was Lily ending her friendship with him because he called her a Mudblood. With evidence.
To prove my point we have to go read the Deathly Hallows when Snape gave Harry his memories! We get to see the scene again but this time the thing that sticks out the most is Snape calling Lily a Mudblood. Now if that's not enough proof the next memory goes like this.
*Outside Gryffindor Tower*
Snape: I'm sorry
Lily: I'm not interested
S: I'm sorry!
L: save your breath... I only came out here because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.
S: I was. I would have done. I never ment to call you a Mudblood it just-
L: Slipped out? It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends- you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you? I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine.
S: No-listen, I didn't mean-
L:-to call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?
*Lily leaves. Memory ends*
The next memory is Snape becoming a turn coat for Dumbledore so he could keep Lily safe because Voldemort wouldn't spare her.
Snape has had worse experiences then a teenage James Potter being a bully (even if it was shitty). so we look at the rest of the memory and lo and behold what do we see? The actual worst moment of Snape life, the moment he lost Lily forever.
#I just saw someone say they hated Lily because he's was too hard on Severus all he did was call her a Mudblood.#Yeah just called her a slur...And found it funny when dark magic was used on someone. And joined a hate group that would kill her.#And would've let her child and husband die if it ment she lived. bffr 🙄 lets put this in real world terms!#you're a minority (pick one) and you go to a school but their are some people who hate you for existing. but its ok you've got your bff!#now years go by and bff is still your bff but theyve changed. they're hanging out with those aforementioned people who hate you for existin#and yeah you dont like it but they're your bff since for ever so you make excuses. but then bff starts calling people like you slurs...#now bff hasn't called you slurs so maybe its just peer pressure you let it slide its your bff. now you find out that not only are there#people who hate you for existing there is his hate group and they want you and people like you dead. obviously you dont like his. now bffs#friends they want to join this hate group... and bff doesn't deny it. ok thats not great. bffs friends who wanna join the hate group have#now moved passed just calling people like you slurs. they've went and beat the shit out of a person like you that you considered a friend.#and bff.... they say that it was just a joke. but are again not denying wanting to join the hate group that wants you dead. you love bff so#you just keep your mouth shut. now the day comes! bff has now called you a slur. and you cant make excuses anymore. they're just like their#friends and you cut your losses because again bff and their friends want to join a hate group that wants to kill you!!!#its not poor litte Severus its poor Lily. she thought she had a friend and HE betrayed HER! but but but why didnt she stop him from joining#she was a child! she was in a new world with no idea! she was in a whole nother house! and its not her fucking job to fix him! he joined th#hate group HE KNEW HATED HER! if he truly loved her he wouldn't have joined. but but but its not that- ADROMADA TONKS could be a Slytherin#and not be a Death Eater and her family was pure blood. she could do it! so could Snape.#severus snape#lily potter#snapes worst memory#the marauders#harry potter#the deathly hallows#lily evans#put some more respected on her name.#fuck jkr#james potter#slytherin#how can you be a snape stan and not like lily that 80% of his personality.#snape
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stinkrascal · 1 month
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hi jaiden. i read your ask and im very sorry about your loss, i've decided to spread some positivity. you are an incredible writer and as much as you cringe at your older posts i find myself rereading it every now and then. its kind of crazy how i'm quite young, and i've been growing up with reading breanna's story - yet i haven't lost interest. there is something so aesthetic about your standstill posts, i dont know if its the colors or the dust, but its so pleasing to the eye. literally everyday after my work i go and i check if standstill has gotten an update. the way your dialogue is written is so natural. like it doesn't feel like this fake poetic or overly descriptive, it sounds like natural realistic dialogue. and ive also been reading your character bios and in my language there's a word called härlig, thats the only way i can describe the little bios. for it being a sim story, its so incredibly clever and i can tell you put effort into it. the poses are always fitting. and your game doesnt even look like sims. i hope you realize that we will always enjoy your story even if it would be with low graphics or vlad would be a 8x8 pixel. so dont ever shy away from taking a break, because u really deserve to take a break. there is so much i could say about standstill,, but i wont for the sake of it already being quite lengthy! i hope your healing, and i hope that you can accept some positivity into your life. <3
wow okay hello anon... i won't lie, this made me cry a lot ;-;. i've been really struggling lately with intense anxiety and honestly just feeling really shitty ha. reading this means so much to me, more than you will ever know. it's silly ik but i put my heart and my soul into my sims, it can be a little embarrassing bc they're literally just sims and here i am pouring every piece of me into them like they're my diary, taking it so seriously. but like........ i do take it seriously.......embarrassed as i am to admit it..... i love them so much. so reading something as kind and reassuring as this makes me feel really appreciated. thank you for your kindness, it's more appreciated than you will ever realize
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lordgrimwing · 4 months
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Friends and Family #02
Thranduil yawned and leaned back against a fallen tree trunk. Yellowing leaves shivered around him, covering the lightly forested hill with a golden glow. Hithundil, nestled comfortably in his lap, leaned against him. She nuzzled her nose into his neck.
“We should do this more often,” She murmured, her lips tickling his skin.
He wrapped his arms around her waist. “What?” He chuckled. “Hike three miles and eat peanut butter sandwiches?”
She snorted. “Get out into nature. Everything’s so busy in the city, even the parks, but out here it’s so calm. Just us and the wide world for miles and miles. I can’t believe we stopped doing this in the first place.”  
“Yeah,” he whispered into her hair. “No one around. We could get up to anything.” He shifted suggestively and slipped a hand under her t-shirt.
“We could,” She murmured back, nibbling his ear.
Before they got any further, a child’s shriek filled the air. Nine-year-old Legolas ran out from behind the pile of boulders he went to investigate after losing interest in his lunch. He sprinted between the trees and over to his parents, another bird feather sticking out of one of his braids. The adults untangled themselves and hastily packed away the remnants of the meal, tidying up the spot so they could head out now that the child was ready to go.
“Mommy, Daddy!” He called, his hands a flurry of motion and his little backpack bouncing around his shoulders. “I met a princess!”
“A princess!” Thranduil repeated with clear shock as he pulled the shoulder straps tight on his pack. “What was she doing all the way out here?”
Legolas slid to a stop, chest heaving with excitement. “The evil king captured the prince she loves and we have to save him and defeat the king, then the princess can rule and everyone will be happy!”
“A quest,” Hithundil laughed, pointing down the path. “Lead on!”
They walked along, taking in the scenery as Legolas described what the magical landscape truly looked like—with occasional suggestions from his parents. Around them, the slender aspens transformed into ancient spruces covered in moss. Beetles became little fairies that guarded all growing things and butterflies their counterparts that were captured and transformed by the evil king, who now possessed magical powers and stood nearly fifty feet tall (taller than the actual aspens they still walked through). His dad offered him a piece of his leftover sandwich every time the meandering path that only he could see brought him back to his parents.
They reached a wide meadow, dotted with autumn flowers and busy bees. Hesitating at the edge, the child surveyed the land, warning his parents that this was just the kind of place for a trap. Couldn’t they see the boiling, steaming hot springs that released a sulfuric haze too? Those were very obvious. 
Thranduil looked at Hithundil, grinned, and then walked out into the meadow. Just as the other two began to follow, he whirled around dramatically and said, “I am a servant of the Dark King! I see your intentions and shall not let you pass these feil wastelands.”
Legolas gasped and grabbed his mother’s hand. “Daddy! No!” He cried.
Thranduil chuckled and stepped forward. “I’m coming to get you.”
Both elves whose wills were not suddenly bound to the Dark Lord turned and ran back into the trees. The thrall, as Legolas now referred to his father with mock tears, shook his fist at them but dared not leave the meadow.
“We have to save Daddy,” The child said bravely, hiding behind a tree. 
His mother nodded seriously. She did not want to lose her husband today. “I have an idea.”
His face lit up and he bounced with excitement. “What?”
She looked him up and down. “Are you ready to face danger like you’ve never imagined?”
“Yes!”
“It might not work and we’ll all be captured and imprisoned by the king,” She cautioned. 
“We can’t leave Daddy here,” He insisted. 
“Alright,” She said, glancing around her own tree. Thranduil was now sitting in the wildflowers, idly picking apart a blade of switchgrass. “I can free him from the spell if you go out there and distract him.”
Legolas nodded and dropped his backpack. It landed noisily on the soft ground because of all the rocks he’d picked up along the way. 
“Are you ready?”
He nodded more vigorously this time, his hands joining in too. 
“Go!”
He sprinted out of the tree cover. He ran past, just out of reach as Thranduil scrambled to his feet, hot on his tail. Legolas dodged twice more before an arm slipped around his chest and swung him up into the air. The boy screamed in delight as he was thrown up and over his father’s shoulder.
“No!” He cried, suddenly remembering that this was no longer the elf he knew but a servant of Evil.
“Ha ha!” Thranduil chuckled, untying one of the little shoes so he could tickle Legolas’s foot and make him squirm. “I shall take you to my master as soon as I finish questioning you and find your companion.”
He was, for all intents and purposes—that is, for the imaginary game they played—completely oblivious to Hithundil creeping up behind him. She held a finger over her mouth to remind the laughing child to not say anything. He was, at present, too distracted by the tickling to say anything intelligible. 
“Tell me your secrets,” Thranduil demanded gently as he pulled off the other shoe.
“Aha!” Hithundil cried, grabbing his arm and spinning him around. She pulled him down to meet her.
Legolas laughed; Thranduil gasped, frozen in place; and Hithundil planted a kiss on her husband’s open mouth, holding his face between her hands to make sure couldn’t escape.
When they pulled apart, he exhaled and said, “Why, what a strange dream.” Then, looking at his son, “Oh! Legs, what are you doing on my shoulder?”
“You were captured by the King but Mommy saved you,” He explained, wiggling down.
“Well, thank you both for getting me back. I wouldn’t want to be tied to that horrible wizard for all eternity!”
It was Hithundil’s turn to laugh at them. She handed Legolas his backpack, which she’d thoughtfully brought from their hiding spot so it couldn’t get lost. It was his favorite backpack after all, with cartoon drawings of a little blond elf in a green tunic. He slipped his arms through the straps eagerly, ready to continue their journey. 
“Let’s go!”
“Wait,” Hithundil said before he could dash off. She pointed at the discarded shoes. “You need to put those on first.”
He looked down at his sock-covered toes and gave them a little wiggle. “Do I have to?” He asked.
She looked over at Thranduil and raised her eyebrows in a question. 
He shrugged and said, “You can’t go running around in your socks. That’ll put holes in them. So, you can put your shoes on, or you can take your socks off.”
Legolas thought about it for a moment, then plopped himself down to pull off the socks. He offered them up to his father, who took them and stuffed them into a pocket. Hithundil picked up the red shoes. She unzipped the main pocket of Thranduil’s pack and dropped them in.
“Ready?” The child asked, barefoot and nearly dancing with excitement.
His parents looked at each other, mildly baffled by how much energy he had still. “Let’s go!” They said together.
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thisloev · 4 months
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i have done everything to make myself as tired as possible so i can sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow but im wide awake😭
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jils-things · 5 months
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queueing up my memoryshipping gift art made me remember how much i love steven hehe
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lighthouseas · 9 months
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manifesting gumball to win that poll because no one gets him like i do and i say he deserves to win so that means he needs to win
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bredforloyalty · 1 year
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i don't think we do luv i don't think we do
#i do agree (obviously!) that for a series you need to get people to care about your characters so they want to keep watching it#comedy barely holds up without a story.. if you don't take time to work on storytelling or you want inexhaustible archetypes for characters#that you can use to churn out jokes‚ whether that's pointless random skits like family guy does it or something based on the relationships#like relationships within a certain status quo (s1 rick garbage man abuses his family. except it wasn't that simple back then either)#the problem with the sitcom where nothing changes so someone can just write gag after gag without changing the foundations is that it#becomes tiring. people stop caring because you've made it impossible to care for the characters by not allowing any meaningful changes#so in that sense i do agree it is 'becoming an actual series'. but it was on its way from the beginning‚ just needed some refinement#a whole lot maybe#but with setting limits for your writing and keeping your characters consistent and engaging emotionally you limit the#wacky hijinks as well. like don't tell me we got a banger like the vat of acid episode from season 6 or even 5 lol it's no longer explosive#i think rick and morty has always been inconsistent and that bred both great episodes and khm bad ones#there's definitely gonna be less bad ones from now on but the potential of the r&m dynamic has also been.... i would say curbed#that's okay this needed to happen like this. and i think they're going in the right direction and i think the stars will align and they'll#write bangers again#a lot of great things could happen following this. like in these actual arcs that they're developing there's still potential for comedy and#drama and they'll find their way back imo. to the sweet spot between chaos (wacky random funny) and order (meaningful and consistent)#ok that's all. if one hates rick being a miserable pathetic piece of shit one should mayhaps fuck off#✌️💗#kata.txt#rnm
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aroacehanzawa · 1 year
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The Half Life of Valery K by Natasha Pulley would be so good if it was good
#i'm gonna have to revive my goodreads account just to leave a bad review AND send 10 million ranting voice messages to my friend tomorrow#ok first the premise was good and based on true history about the ussr's secret nuclear testing facility City 40#the first half of the book had well-written mystery and the atmosphere was truly chilling it was a great cold war era thriller#unfortunately this book has too many flaws and just things that are straight up bad#such as: the mc is an uwuified scientist ex prisoner who GUESS WHAT worked directly under joseph mengele on human experiments???#and it's just like but uwu he was still young and had no choice#well the author had a choice and if you're gonna write something like that at least explore the topic properly????????#oh yeah and an entire prisoner train carriage of women gets raped by all the male prisoner except for valery our heroic mc#who couldn't do anything about it then until he laters kills all of those men with a bomb so he gets a traumatic AND a heroic backstory#and then the love interest: the kgb man with a wife and 4 kids he dearly loves but who conveniently get written off at the end#with no clear resolution as to what actually happened to his family after he defects abroad and he barely even mentions them afterwards????#oh yeah and our mc has some wildly anachronistic sjw-esque tumblr feminisms that the author forced in seemingly to make up for her#treatment of the actual female characters in the book???#the science was sound for the most part except the so-called scientist characters were being STUPID about it#they're like ohhh i wonder what are these weird mud geysers that keep popping off when we're not on volcanic ground#THAT'S THE GODDAMN HEAT FROM THE RADIOACTIVE WASTE AND I KNEW THAT FROM THE FIRST MENTION OF THESE GEYSERS#also the authir doesn't know how russian surnames work and wildly overestimates the amount of coffee that russians drink#and wildly underestimates the alcohol tolerance of 50+ year old bulky kgb officers and doesn't seem to know that the russian language#is gendered. like she writes a whole monologue for valery complaining about being called mister by the english because it's gendered????#also the whole resolution of the book is like a mediocre action thriller airport novel compared to the tense and atmospheric beginning#nah i'm going to sleep. good night
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eats-the-stars · 1 year
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love the guy assigned to my case at the “help you get a job” program. i have exactly 2 modes. 1) procrastinating until the absolute last minute. And 2) guess I will complete months worth of work that is also due at the end of the year in exactly 3 days of non-stop effort. You can basically flip a coin as to which approach my brain will decide to take for any given task.
so yeah I have a job now. and my poor case manager dude is like “wait. no. that was so fast. it’s been one week. you did how many interviews? and you picked...this one. the one that is not like anything you have done before and also was not on the “jobs I think would work out for me” list that we made?”
and he was scrambling like “accommodations. training. oh god. um. do i need to talk to your employers?” and getting more anxious when I was like “no i think I have it covered.” like i am sorry bro but i know that my vibes in person are like “quiet forgetful autistic person who can pass for either a high school student or a grandma at any moment” and this does not inspire confidence, but I am actually pretty independent once someone gives me a little push to start a thing.
also...dude you have my job history. winter sports area general worker (concessions, ticket sales, renting ski/snowshoe equipment, managing cross-country trails, monitoring the tube hill, etc.). family restaurant hostess (basically every role in the place except a cook). person selling fireworks out of tent for all of July while also living in a smaller tent behind the shipping crate filled with things that go boom. call center customer service rep handling 4 different clients that range from crafts and home decor to incontinence products and super expensive furniture. freelance dog-sitting with clients ranging from “rich couple who wants me to let their elderly cockapoos out twice a day for $50 bucks a pop in a house with a basement theater” to “i’ll give you $10 a day to exercise and feed the 3 huskies in our small apartment also they can jump higher than you are tall and scream louder than you thought possible.” bro we added a whole “volunteer experience” section to my resume because I wrote grants and worked with an environmental group to restore native bluebirds to the community and volunteered at the community table and the animal shelter and the library. like i have done lots of things that are not really connected at all. someone says “hey do you think you could do this?” and I am suddenly living out of a tent for a month googling “what the fuck is a crossette?” i once ended up in Memphis for 2 months doing volunteer construction work in the aftermath of a hurricane because my cousin didn’t want to go alone and everyone was like “oh we know someone who goes with the flow so hard.”
so you better believe i told you “oh i don’t know, maybe a receptionist position would be nice” and then applied to every local job known to god and then a few extra and took the first one to say “cool can you start next week?” i know i did not give off “I will try anything at least once if you ask me fast and then go ‘great!’ before I can process what i agreed to” vibes while sitting in your office in my colorful leggings, grandma sweaters and animal hats while not making eye contact and talking about how lovely my nephew is and how much I enjoy quiet time alone and gardening and i struggle with a poor memory and navigating social interactions. but i know you proofread my resume my guy. you asked questions about all these things except the construction thing because i actually forgot to mention that actually which is good because then i might have had to mention the cult involvement that i wasn’t aware of until i was stuck on-site but it all worked out so no sweat. still, i am glad that he is concerned by my “out of the blue” spontaneity. it’s kind of his job to help people settle into jobs that they can handle, and I also know that I would realistically need more assistance from him if I wasn’t so good at adapting on the fly due to my bad habit of saying “sure, I can do that” to literally anything. also my new job is honestly pretty tame, so i am not sure what he is freaking out about. i should really not mention some of the other jobs i spontaneously applied for before accepting this one. like..my friend...i could be working in a bridal shop. i could be training to install and repair vending machines or decorating cakes or delivering medical equipment. i applied for a job that was literally “window production.” none of these are actually as wild as that time I spent 2 months with a religious cult doing manual labor and living out of an abandoned, half-destroyed school building because my cousin talked me into it. i had to watch a dramatic reenactment of the crucifixion of Jesus on my very first night that brought the whole gymnasium of strangers to wild, howling tears while I was awkwardly clapping my hands as my cousin sobbed incoherently into my shoulder. i once dog-sat a bluetick coonhound for 2 weeks in the dead of winter, and the snow if his yard was so high that he was able to jump the fence and book it down the street. i had to chase him through knee-high snow for over an hour before he stopped to sniff a bemused old lady long enough for me to catch him. i once had a customer at the restaurant rail at me for a good twenty minutes because she was absolutely sure that we did serve pineapple upside down cake and i was just withholding this dessert from her, specifically. the bar for “jobs I would apply for” is so low that I actually thought “well as long as nobody spits in my face, pukes on me consistently, or shanks me in the kidney again I could probably do anything.” although to be fair to my case manager i did not mention those things to him (except the pineapple upside down cake lady because I mention her all the time, i am still pissed off about that situation). also, my sister was actually the one to have a dog wake her up in the middle of the night only to puke directly into her mouth, but I watched it go down, so the psychic trauma of witnessing that still exists.
#honestly i think my poor social skills get me into half of the situations in my life#because i agree to things before i process them because most people talk and talk too fast for me#so i spend the whole conversation trying to keep up also figure out what the hell we're talking about#and then at the end i turn to my sister and say 'so what was that about?'#and she says something like 'you signed up to sell fireworks out of a tent for all of july' and i just have to run with that#the other half of the situations just come from having relatives and family friends that actively seek out situations#but want to drag someone adaptable and chill along who will also not say 'that's literally insane. no' when asked#also i need less cousins who take the zombie apocalypse life tip of always bringing a slow runner with you to situations#like i am a small person ok. my legs are shorter. i can't help it that everyone else is sprinting around on their stilt-legs#also just like i like to take walks with my dad because the mosquitoes love his blood way better than mine#i have a history of 'first person to get stabbed in a situation' that is probably just due to being the weakest looking person in any group#and i don't really panic in emergencies. i don't really know why. maybe it's something to do with being autistic#but if someone is screaming in pain and writhing on the floor#or an alarm goes off#or a bus skids on the ice and smears a stranger across the sidewalk right in front of me#or if i get mugged in a coffee shop while i'm studying for exams#i don't really do the things that other people around me do in the same situation#i personally think that the bubble i exist in just runs slower than everyone else's#so they're all having their reactions and freaking out while i'm still like 'damn something sure is happening right now.#am i supposed to do anything about this?'#and then if the answer is: 'yeah you should probably calm down that guy on the floor. figure out why he's screaming. then call 911 maybe?'#then i'll just do that while other people are saying things like 'oh god what's happening?!'#like if i panicked every time i had a dog that i was responsible for make a stupid life decision in front of me#or had a cult member ask me. an atheist. if i felt like i connected with god at the emotional catharsis activity#or honestly even just every time i've ever been stabbed in the left kidney even tho that's only happened twice#then i don't know i would probably be doing a lot of panicking#maybe it's an energy thing. i feel like panicking requires more energy than i usually have access to
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