#theyfuckyouupyourmumanddad

[antilamentations]

Family Tree

"Your DNA test offers you the powerful experience of discovering what makes you unique and learning where you really come from."

"Learn more about your family."

"Find new relatives."

"Build a family tree."

I know where I come from.

It's cold and white and Protestant. It's striving to be better while stepping on others. It's alcoholism and asylums and generational lies.

It's hypocrisy. It's grandiosity. It's empty.

Marital rape was recognised as a criminal act in 1991. Coercive control was recognised as an offence in 2015.

As soon as my memories began I recognised a sick feeling in my stomach, a tightness in my throat.

I recognised the smallest change in an adult's mood. I recognised how the temperature in the room could slip.

Let me tell you some things I've learned about my family.

Marriage is not love. Home is not safe. Violence does not have to be physical. Silence can be a weapon. Find new relatives? I'm fighting my way out of the tigers' cage.

I'm "personality disordered". I have "poor coping mechanisms". I "struggle with interpersonal relationships". I'm the fucked up child of fucked up children.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I don't need a test to show me how close I am to the canker-blackened branches.

#poetry #theyfuckyouupyourmumanddad #eupd #bpd #fuckchristmas