#theyre divorced and they havent even dated | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shoebillstork · 5 months

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Mutual 1: (An extremely extensive post detailing their trauma on their secret blog)

Mutual 1: (A picture of the soup they finished making) Eeatting penis soup grab a bowl

Mutual 2: (Cropped batman yaoi) This scene was so compelling in the comics qnd established so much for Bruce Waynes character as a bottom

Mutual 3: Just updated my comic (it is one of the most compelling pieces of narrative youve ever read. Its based off of a bad game)

Mutual 4: Ngl this omegaverse gacha life youtube video is more compelling than most shows i watch

Mutual 5: Finally cocking out i swear if one more thing happens today i will snap

Mutual 6: PENIS TYPO

Mutual 7: PENIS TYPO

Mutual 8: PENIS TYPO

Mutual 9: This yak tranquilizer weak af

Mutual 10: Come make my sinister potion (posts how to make a pipebomb)

Mutual 11: Do i get plastic surgery and change my name and move to a different country y/n (poll is in favor of yes by a huge margin)

Mutual 12: Mutual 13 is a lying fucking piece of trash and i think they should drop dead. They live at 308 Negra Aroya Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104 and im going to record me beating the shit out of them

Mutual 13: Aww my bestie is coming to visit me soon :]

(Mutual 12 and 13 are dating)

Mutual 14: who tf does she think she is (posts a sc of mutual 8 from three url changes ago. It is mutual 8 saying theyre going to the park)

Mutual 15: So in my latest session in dnd we rolled 1d12 for dick size and i rolled a nat 20 and idk what to do with this reponsibility now

Mutual 16: he looks so good im going to scream (a screenshot where said character is so far in the background he doesnt even have a face)

Mutual 17: eho up thinking about the moral dillemma presented in pokemon go

Mutual 18: take a look at my ocs :D (mona lisa if dhe was gay)

Mutual 19: i hadba really good day today i got to spend some time bonding with my entire family and we got to celebrate something we havent had the time for in 37 years

Mutual 20: (reblogging mutual 19) L + Don't care + 632146K~P PRC, dl.2146K~P, 5K > 2146K~P, 5K > JF 2146K~P, 2H, WS ([4]6H->P), 623H

Mutual 21: (Blurry photo of them running from police) they're after me for my stash kf yaoi cocaine

Mutual 22: (Miles long RP chain they started 2 months ago. You have post notification on for them because its awesome)

Mutual 23: Discussing the morality of liking bananas over mangoes

Mutuals 24 ans 25: having a dramatic wedding where theyre acting as a crack ship. They're on the verge of divorce

Mutual 26: She winding onbmy waker (is in the middle of intense controversy)

Mutual 27: (Callout for mutual 26)

Mutual 28: If Mutual 17 asked i would give them a sloppy toppy

Mutual 29: Anon get out of my inbox before j block you his ass is NOT flat. (His ass is fucking concave)

Mutual 30: Shes just like me fr (a picture kf a shopping cart)

#textbox

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actualbird · 30 days

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thoughts on vyntem?

I LOVE VYNTEM!!! i wish there were more fics of them to read....though i myself might not ever write it because ive got mariluke goggles permanently strapped to my skull KJBLKJSDSDF

also can i just say this ask made me laugh because its wording near identical to this ask on vyntem i answered way back

which, btw, if you want some of my vyntem headcanons, i mention a bunch in that previous ask

my brain is very dead right now though so i dont have any new headcanons, sadly ;^;

but i love those two. divorced couple vibes even when they havent started dating yet. i bet marius jokingly calls them both as "old man yaoi" and it gives vyn a headache every time

mc: they are NOT old man yaoi, not until they hit fifty

marius: theyre mentally fifty at this point :P

luke: middle aged yaoi.....

vyn: can you all stop?

artem: whats yaoi?

#//seinfeld baseline plays #asks #anon

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sukunasweetheart · 1 year

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ALSO I ADORE HOSPITAL PLAYLIST SM SKFBEJFBDB

Have you seen "couple on the backtrack?" :oo

sukuna and y/n divorce 😔😔😔 but they're suddenly transported back to their first meeting and first date and then while trying to change their lives away from each other, they just end up growing closer together and remembering the spark they lost idgehdgerh

Oh no i havent seen couple on the backtrack but youre kinda making me wanna 👉👈 i was putting it off bc the male lead wasnt my type

But AAAAA yes i would LIVE for this kind of angst with SUKUNA 😍😍😋 divorce/break up angst is so YUMMY but oh it hurts so bad

Someone pls write this 😭 omg..

Thinking abt you and sukuna in an estranged relationship...

After being given a chance to change their lives by going back in time, they think theyre going to be done with each other forever

But even after so many twists and turns the two of you still cant just shake each other off...

#lord have mercy #poe answers #sukuna #sukuna x reader

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roseworth · 1 year

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3, 6, 9, and 13😝

choose violence ask game

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

idk what the WORST take ive seen is but i bravely held myself back from saying anything when i saw this one but now ill talk about it <3

there was one time i saw someone make a post about "batfam morality codes" or something then gave a quick description of everyones. and JASONS was "everyone deserves a second chance." and respectfully what the fuck were they on about. JASON. aka the one that i really hope everyone understands is the one that kills people. now to be fair i think theres a lot to say about jason and his attitude towards second chances but what we all know for damn sure is that he does NOT believe Everyone deserves a second chance. thats the whole reason he kills people. do you think he kills them and goes "but you can still change <3" BESTIE THEYRE DEAD

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

please dont throw things at me. timkon fans.

LISTEN i like timkon, its my prob favorite ship for both of them. however their fans are constantly so annoying. if i see one more person say that steph or cassie would be homophobic upon hearing that tim and kon are dating i might actually hunt them down and hit them with my car. not to mention soooo much of timkon is kon being Tims Boyfriend instead of acknowledging anything about his character

anyways thats obviously excluding all the ships that i hate for other reasons. like ill take a timkon fan over a batcest fan any day but i think i just find timkon fans more annoying bc i have the tags of ships that i hate blocked so i only have to deal with the fans of ships that i do like

9. worst part of canon

answered here but ill think of another 🤭

is it too general to say the new52 bc. that is the worst thing that has ever happened to dc and im not even exaggerating. literally ripped away actual backstories and nuances of so many characters then tore other characters out of existence and there wasnt a single character that got out of that unscathed. so many characters havent been remotely the same since it happened (my girls 😔😔😔) and no matter how much they try to come back from it they still cant fix it

i think its possible that comics would still be almost as shallow and disconnected as they are now if the new52 didnt happen but it definitely made it worse in a way that they may never actually recover from

13. worst blorboficiation

SLADE. FUCK. im tired of slade fans saying "but old man hot 🥺" or acting like hes a good father to any of his kids. hes homeless divorced his kids hate him. thats his entire deal and you cant take that away from him. hes just a pedophile and i dont think im being too harsh when i say that anyone who tries to say hes "misunderstood" should die

#thank you for the ask 💕💕💕💕#ask game

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hirokiyuu · 1 year

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God your Twst post is so Good And Relatable. Welcome to Scarabia/Jamikali stan hell, Ep. 4 permanently altered my brain chemistry and I'm glad it's done the same for you. Can you believe that before playing Twst Kalim was bottom-tier for me because I thought he had a fratboy design but now he's tied with Jamil for Ultimate Fave. The power of Drama And Good Writing I guess. 🙏 Anyway you got more Scarabia thoughts you'd like to share, or just Twst thoughts in general?

ALKHSGLKAHS ur valid. kalim isnt my favorite Individually but ni a duo with jamil theyre just. chef finger kiss. in terms of duos probably my favorite, i love divorce so much ALSKGDHALKSHGD

i really like the scarabia relationship a lot tho. i really like that what kalim did to jamil IS treated as smth he should work on. like he wasn't malicious and he didn't mean to hurt jamil but thoughtlessness can still be painful! it's good. i like that end of book 4 is literally just. theyre divorced now. i havent seen how things go post book 4 but i love that theyre just divorced now. kalim has to do his own laundry. the ideal 'good" endgame jamil/kalim rship for me is jamil goes off on his own for like ten years post graduation after doing his research somewhere else too. dates other guys. learns to be a person. and then maybe later on they reconnect nad kiss but they never marry and also sometimes jamil does just have to leave and be on his own a while. u kno. (suddenly realizes this is just rhos aksh and stares into the sun)

hmmm overall thoughts......... my friend baited me into twst bc she knows i like when characters are Not Good People and so like. twst being full of htat is really nice wwww i like that kalim is thoughtless i like that jamil is a lying schemer i like that riddle is too uptight and azul is manipulative and leona is lazy and all of that its all v nice. so far i haven't met a character i Dislike tho i do have some i like more than others

i like riddle a lot....... epel also (guy who started playing during harveston) deuce is stupid nd my son. i have my eye on lilia and malleus also....... in terms of ship stuff i also really like floyd/riddle ALKHGLAKSHDG what if i was a rules obsessed freak who nevertheless is leraning to respect others nad their points of view and you were a whimsical eelman who did whatever he wanted adn even tho most ppl found me boring you did not and in fact loved (teasing) me and we were both boys. what then

#this took a while to answer bc i started answer and then reread rhos fic #as u do. u kno how it is #asks #twst spoilers ?#anon #oh eta: i also have a lot of thoughts abt my oc + leona bc i accidentally paralled them super hardcore #guy who is the eldest child in his family and is being crushed by the weight of that #vs guy who is Not the eldest in his and therefore cant get anyone to listen to him #u kno how it is. u kno

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6ftkyle · 1 year

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butters/kenny divorce takes let's go :O

okay so i do not particularly like "get" bunny as a ship, so i dont like wholly know how to write genuine divorce between them

BUT i could kinda see them being the only two left in town, all their friends have moved on, moved out, grown up and found their paths in life and butters and kenny just... havent. so i could see them going for a marriage of convenience thinking okay well sure why not. tax breaks rule, neither one of them has a partner, neither one of them has been particularly successful in dating in the past few years, why not get married on paper and reap a few benefits

but they can NOT cohabitate. butters alphabetizes the pantry out and cackles really loudly to himself while using the computer which makes kenny insane and kenny leaves trash all over the place and wears his sneakers indoors on the freshly vacuumed carpet!! which makes butters insane.

they get divorced after six months, its the fastest divorce south park has ever seen and the other guys rip on them all the time for having a divorce under their belts before theyre even 25.

#ask game #ty for the ask! sorry if this is not what you were looking for #i dont have the bunny gene 😔

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7swordsmen · 1 year

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ok. um. i think its like

so sakura "loves" sasuke. whatever that may actually mean we can discuss later, but shes "loved" him so long. and self proclaimed and kakashi proclaimed, this "love" "hurts" her.

and this is sasukes fault, somehow? and it is also his fault for rejecting her and not "returning" those feelings. because those feelings are "hurting" her and shes "loved" him so long and is willing to give up literally everything and everyone who cares about her without a second thought for his "love".

so its sasukes fault its onesided, so now he has a "duty" to her. and he has to "repent", for some reason. but hes already stated clearly so many times that while he does appreciate the friendship and comfort, her and team seven as a whole concept offered him when he was 12, he does not have any REASON to "love" her in that sense, and he doesnt see why SHE continues to chase after him in that sense when hes already said no.

but yknow he has to make it up to her right. since shes "suffered" so long by not giving up on this onesided "love" business. so he "marries" her gives her a kid and kinda fucks off. because thats the bare minimum. hes "made it up" to her, right?

but its difficult to give him any shit for not being around or not being more romantic because he literally didnt want anything to do with that from the start. this is already a LOT.

and sakura knows this! she does wish sasuke would be around and be more romantic with her like shes always wanted, but this is already more than expected. and yknow shes so used to "suffering" by "loving" sasuke it doesnt really matter does it. and not pestering him after hes already "married" her is probably the least she could do.

after all she has sarada, right? so does it really matter if she doesnt have a ring or a single photo of him asides from the government taken one from when he was a teen criminal? nobody else managed to get sasuke. only her. shes the one who bagged him and she can wear the uchiha crest everywhere even while he doesnt. this IS what she wanted. shes gotten her trophy.

so divorce? out of the books. again, it seems like it doesnt make a difference to sasuke since he literally isnt around, but sakura would NEVER consider it.

and she does know! she knows people talk she knows her and sasuke havent been on a single date she KNOWS all this so she doesnt bother trying to get him to do more! if she ignores all that, she can focus on the fact theyre together they have a kid thats enough. thats fine. nobody can deny that she bagged sasuke with this.

which is funny bc its like the fans think that way too? and then its double funny bc they go to insist its a beautiful great marriage. sasukes off in whereever hoping sakura doesnt leave him (she wont) bc her onesided crush from when she was 12 cant be onesided if theyre "married" right. he HAS to "love" her back now right. so how come sakura herself doesnt seem to think so?

#linpost

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milkbreadtoast · 2 years

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some licorice + dark choco... im obsessed w their dynamic they’re peak comedy duo skdjnjdsnjvmcvcb <3

#cookie run #licorice cookie #dark choco cookie #licochoco #cookie run kingdom #cookie run ovenbreak #my art #im obsessed w them theyre so fuckign funny #coworker roommates(derogatory) who hate each other #i dont even ship them romantically theyre just a comedy duo to me #i have too many thoughts abt them but im too sleepy #follow my twit ig #ok i say i dont ship them romo bc its funnier to me if they just dont have rom interest in each other but #...this is actually my fav pairing for both of them JKSDFHSDDFS.........i admit #theyre peak dysfunction it's hilarious #theyre divorced and they havent even dated

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almuerdesayuno · 2 years

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001 tma 002 caejose? OwO

nyeheheh lets see.....

ok lets see for tma

Favorite character: jon, hands down, i care him so much,,,,,,,if i think about him too hard i tear up

Least Favorite character: i hate elias with a passion, but he’s a great character y’know? he serves his purpose (being easy to hate) masterfully

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): oh boi....obvs jonmatin, georgie and melanie <3<3,jon and gerry (and martin why not) oh my....,s1 archives polycule djkasjdk (i know its ooc but....think of the shenanigans, the angst), and the absolute otp, breekon and hope of course

Character I find most attractive: martin pick me up i know u can

Character I would marry: georgie my beloved (and also probably the most reasonable of them all lmao)

Character I would be best friends with: i wanna say tim, i loved his energy. or maybe mike crew if i were of the fucked up side of things <3

a random thought: i would listen to the full what the ghost podcast xD

An unpopular opinion: oh i have no clue what opinions are popular lmao and i gotta rewatch it soon djaks

My Canon OTP: jonmartin, what can i say

My Non-canon OTP: probably s1 polycule djsakdj

Most Badass Character: addelard dekker hes the best

Most Epic Villain: the whole stranger theatre thing was unmatched awesome to listen to, idk about a particular villain though

Pairing I am not a fan of: anything with Michael,,,

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

Favourite Friendship: i live for the georgie and jon friendship, both pre and post dating

Character I most identify with: probably martin just giving tea to everyone and trying to minimize the tense energy(?

Character I wish I could be: oh boi i hope i dont become any of them djkasjdka

oh wow this is,,,,longer than i thought it would xD no backing out now djaksdj

for caejose...

When I started shipping them: the training scene at the oil pillar, but the ice cliff scene...that did it for me

My thoughts: djasfkhjkadhfjkadhadfjadfadjlka

What makes me happy about them: i love their dynamic,,,theyre just dumbasses your honor

What makes me sad about them: i dont even need to say it

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: i hate it when they just hate eachother’s guts, like, all they’re interactions are just downright hostile like......cmon. ALSO when people tear down susie q so she isnt in the way or something ;-; i havent come across many of those but i hate them

Things I look for in fanfic: the soft moments when they let their guard down around the other and go “huh maybe he isn’t just an absolute dumbass........oh..........”

My wishlist: (idk what this means so this is just my ideal everyone lives dynamic) dumbass old men bicker while trying to save the world, more at 11

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: on the one hand, i love me some good old everyone lives caejoseq au......on the other hand those two are divorced as fuck djaksdjak

My happily ever after for them: everyone lives (of course), joseph is dating both caesar and susie q, they raise Holly together <3. eventually joseph meets tomoko and even though they split up in good terms, both caesar and susie q know about her (i think they’d get along and team up to bother joseph, just saying), so when josuke is born he idk spends the holidays with the three of them and holly is the best older sister ever the end(?

#hey look i got an ask!#ask thing #hiiiii #tma #jjba #ajsdkasjk this was way longer than i expected but i had so much fun #i havent thought about them in a while....ah the feels coming back #yes someday i'll write that fic

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hhawkeye · 3 years

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Margaret for shipping meme?

HMMMMM

notp: margaret/literally Any man. any of them. like even if you dont think shes a lesbian (she is) i think so much of her character development hinges on like, learning that she doesnt have to be Acceptable to men and she doesnt have to change herself to suit mens desires etc that its like. having her in any relationship with a man is... disingenuous to who she is? not to be like um she’d be better off alone than with a man but. she would be better off alone. than with a man.

brotp: margaret and hawkeye!!!! best friends!! best best friends literally i LOVE their relationship so much i love them dearly and i know they would never work out romantically but if she HAD to settle down with a man i would want it to be him. idk. she probably takes him as her Date to like, work events and things and they make it a big joke and come up with increasingly silly ways they met etc to tell people and she’s half like. stop it pierce i want my boss to like me you cant tell him we met when i threw up on you at a theme park!! but shes laughing while she says it. idk. best fwiends i love them :(

otp: hmmm. honestly i dont know! i know she had chemistry and History w lorraine from temporary duty and of course i hear a lot about... helen? but i havent met her yet. honestly i just want margaret to be HAPPY so i want her to be with someone that can accomplish that :(

second choice: again idk! anyone who Isnt A Man and makes her happy lmfao.

fluffy pairing: ok YET AGAIN, i am saying I DONT KNOW mainly because we dont see any fuckin WOMEN ON THIS SHOOOOOOOWWWWWW i mean we do but like. when you have nurse able be three million different people over the course of a season its kind of hard to uh. see them as people and not just random characters yknow. but i liked her and lorraine :( idk

angsty pairing: tbh this isnt angsty its just evil but like. a margaret that isnt strong enough to get divorced and stays with penobscott despite Everything and just like. lives out the rest of her life miserable and never understood and never realising her potential, yknow?

fave poly ship: this isnt even a poly ship but like. margaret living with beejhawk after the war (beejhawk are together tho) in a friendship way and at first its like oh just for a weekend or whatever but then theyre like. um. this is great? and live together for months before eventually she does move out because like... it’s not the war and theyre not in their twenties they cant all be living together as roommates 🙄 but she still comes over for dinner every so often and they stay bffs (moreso she and hawkeye but i think the margaret bj relationship is so fun and sweet sometimes and like 🥺) idk. i just want her to have FRIENDS that she can be OPEN WITH

weirdest ship: again not a ship but she and charles get married for tax purposes and so charles has someone to show to his parents and theyre just like. SUCH an insufferable dysfunctional “couple” idk i just think it would be funny. i like them a lot.

#ty for this sorry some answers suck a lot<3

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zontiky · 4 years

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Okay but au where they're not all related and five is a mysterious orphan Diego keeps running into at odd hours of the night and then him just being like "fuck it he's like 13 he can't be out alone at night" and then just takes him home like a godamn stray and five is THRIVING under the positive attention he never had I beg of you please feed my soul. Also sorry if this doesn't make sense I've had 2 hours of sleep and like 8 coffees today

i think i’ve read a fic similar to this but FUCK YEAH let’s do this (sorry im so late btw i havent been feeling bullet points lately fksjdfks) ALSO HEY OP PLEASE DON’T DIE I HOPE YOU’RE OK???

so diego is still a cop and he’s patrolling or doing whatever it is that cops do, and then he sees a kid sitting in an alley

obviously he pulls over like “hey kid you okay?” and the kid is like “shut up go away bootlicker” and diego is instantly “okay then come on im taking you to get food”

the kid doesn’t want to go but at the same time diego can tell he knows that there’s really no better options. this child looks hungry

so the kid and diego go to griddy’s and the kid says his name is five when asked

“that’s not a name”

“is too”

diego+fam have a long history of trauma and reginald called them by number which was their birth order or something? idk OH SHIT WAIT YOU SAID NOT ALL RELATED OK OK COOL SO

luther is a mechanic who diego knows because he’s the dude who’s often the one repairing his car, they’re on pretty good terms and go out for coffee sometimes because luther hates alcohol and diego’s body is a temple so he doesn’t drink

diego is diego he’s a cop but he’s highkey broke and i really don’t know how much cops get paid? hm

ok google says from 34.6k - 89.4k a year and numbers mean nothing to me so lets say he’s just a gremlin who lives in a boiler room because it’s efficient

OR he’s still dating eudora and lives with her

you know what that’s probably the better option i’m gonna go with that. they don’t have as much childhood trauma even though none of the “siblings” come from exactly good homes? but none of them were raised by reggie mcfuckface so it’s less like,,, bad even though they’re all fucked up

WAIT DO THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

HELL YEAH THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

ok ok so luther is a mechanic who uses his super strength and endurance to just fucking carry cars around his garage and i know NOTHING about mechanics as a profession but but but luther is good at what he does

diego is a cop who lives with eudora and throws knives like a boss. he also throws tennis balls really hard because stabbing people on duty isn’t advised

you know what? i’m gonna say allison ISNT a movie star, shes a smaller actress with minor roles here and there because she’s a mom and spends time with claire. she doesn’t use her rumor as much because honestly she doesn’t see a reason to? like sometimes she’ll go “i heard a rumor you gave me a free shot of coffee” and like,,, that’s it shfskd

her and patrick are still divorced but that’s because they did it the healthy way. they knew they were drifting apart but instead of rumoring him they broke it off mutually and they still meet up for coffee. they’re friends ok. claire loves her parents

klaus! klaus has problems but because im a soft bitch dave is here in 2019. he’s… also a mechanic…. they all know eachother but dave knows luther and diego pretty well. luther via work and diego via luther

yes klaus! so klaus has a history of drugs and addiction, because while he wasn’t shoved into a mausoleum ghosts screaming at you all the fucking time doesn’t help with staying sober

but because he has a support network he can fall back on he’s doing well, he’s a barista in a coffee shop that allison and patrick & diego and luther frequent

shoutout to klaus

five is an orphan he’s 13 and small and kind of a genius? fuck what if as a kid five accidentally time-traveled to 2019 and thaT’S HOW HE BECAME AN ORPHAN

galaxy brain

so five is this kid in the wrong time living on the streets not knowing how things work

i mean he does obviously because he catches on quick and he’s smart but really he doesn’t know how some shit works ok. he’s clueless when it comes to technology and pop culture and shit

ben!! ben is alive!! he’s a part time writer and a full time librarian!! he knows klaus because during his homeless days klaus stuck around the library because free bathrooms and also reading to take his mind off the ghosts. they become really close and ben gets klaus to move in with him and then he’s trying to get sober and then ben’s car crashes and that’s how they meet luther and dave OHHHH

additionally: klaus illustrates some of ben’s books because he knows how to draw yay

vanya! she’s first chair in the orchestra and she’s dating helen cho because i say so

so vanya kicks ass at violin, she’s being gay teaching lessons all that good shit what more is there to say

harold isn’t here because there was never an umbrella academy

hmmm back to the,,, actual plot,,, im sorry sksfhdjsk

SO DIEGO FINDS FIVE RIGHT

AND HE’S LIKE “oh no this child is awakening my paternal instincts oh no i have to take him home with me now”

eudora opening the door to see her husband boyfriend with an angry looking teenager at his side: dear god what did you do this time

eudora instantly bonds with five and i mean INSTANTLY like she lays eyes on him and goes “child?? small?? looks lonely?? must protect” and five looks at her like “badass looking lady she probably knows what shes doing might as well ask for info and stuff” but hes actually thinking “oh dang she looks like she knows what she’s doing RESPECT” and yeah ksdjhsdkf

then five expects them to be mean or just get tired of him and kick him out but?? they dont??? wack

diego is instantly like “kid where do you live”

‘um’

“you live somewhere right???”

‘UM’

they find out he’s legally dead and thats another can of worms entirely

so they register and foster five

diego and eudora are registered foster parents you cannot change my mind alright

then five is introduced to luther and dave, and also ben and klaus because theyre hanging around the shop bc it’s their off day

so five instantly has 4 more people giving him instant love and validation and he’s like “woah”

THEN ALLISON AND PATRICK

claire too,, claire immediately adopts five as her older brother

this entire time five is like “i can’t stay im gonna leave soon you all know this right” and eveybody is “yep ok sure” but they all know hes gonna stay

hhHHHH GAME NIGHTS

five beats everybody at scrabble

diego beats everybody at darts, even though everybody calls him out for cheating

vanya beats everybody at musical chairs. she levitates the chairs so nobody can sit down

luther beats everybody at outdoor games. do not play tag with this man you might not make it out alive

allison is the QUEEN of blurt!

ben is so good at charades it’s unfair

klaus honestly sucks at board games, but he always wins uno and nobody knows how (its the ghosts skfhsdkf)

five is so confused because its obvious all of them are cheating but??? nobody cares?? what

“it’s because it’s fun nobody is actually upset”

whaaaaaaat

so they have to explain to him that they dont play to win they play to have fun and its just a fun thing they do to spend time together and bond

five: mind blown

THEY TAKE HIM TO AN AQUARIUM

BEN JUST CHILLS WITH THE OCTOPI THE ENTIRE TIME

FIVE BONDS WITH CRABS

THEY ALL LOVE SEALS

five gets exposed to modern culture!! klaus and ben teach him memes is what i’m saying

five goes to school!!! he makes friends!!!! they have nice sleepovers and diego and eudora make them cookies :’)

i want to say. okay so.

reginald exists and he had made grace eariler as preparation for the children he was going to adopt, but he died before he could buy any babies

so grace exists! and!! she knows the “siblings”!!!

so five has a grandma because im not going to lie grace is basically all of their’s mom

she lives in the mansion but she can go outside and DO THINGS and she makes them COOKIES and she LOVES HER KIDS and GRANDKIDS and five ADORES her ok

basically five is happy with his pseudo family that’s it thank you for your time

wait no actually he figures out how to time travel safely and he does go back and forth

sometimes he pops in and he’s like “hey we ran out of milk” and then a second later he’s like “for the love of god wait until tomorrow to get milk dont ask why you dont wanna know” and its obvious that he came back from the future and HHHHHH YES

the commission can’t do shit because found family love is simply too strong

hazel and agnes are the nice couple who run griddys and birdwatch

five is fond of them too honestly like he just loves going to griddys because it has so many happy memories for him and its where he met diego (sorta) and also yay hazel and agnes!!

SO YEAH BASICALLY: FIVE IS HAPPY AND THIS AU IS GOD TIER THANK YOU

THIS IS A GOOD ONE I LIKE THIS AU THANK YOU

#asks #tinky-wink #tua #aus #hcs #rambles #stray au #team zero

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star1a · 6 years

Note

ANSWER 1-92 HUNTY

you are insane omg but fine

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

Uhh probably :P

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

Don’t have one~

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

nope!

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

im working on it

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

mhm!

6. What are you excited for?

already answered 7. What happened tonight?

last night? cause if so i talked to my

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

i think it’s gross and not good when anyone does it especially cause it aint already good for you

9. Is confidence cute?

hmm sometimes

10. What is the last beverage you had?

soda it was either doctor pepper or coke or a milkshake whops

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

uhhh a fair amount probably too many maybe tho

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

nope

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

i dunno yet

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

probably food or a video game

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

havent kissed anyone~

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

hmm maybe??

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

already answered

18. The last time you felt broken?

when dont i pffff

19. Have you had sex today?

no??

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

i dunno man that im a really big idiot probably

21. Are you in a good mood?

right now? cause i think so

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

N O

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

nope i wish, he has blue eyes

24. What do you want right this second?

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

i,,,,probably wouldnt,,,,,listen i have issues,,,,

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

mhm

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

well id like to think that if you date someone you truly like they’ll make you laugh without having to

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

my pal nolan

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

no but doesnt mean i wont give them one anyway or a third or a fourth,,,,

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

no!! i love my boy!!

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

i think so??

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

ew no i love soda

34. Listening to?

right now? Illenium - Afterlife (feat. ECHOS)

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

almost always

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

havent kissed anyone yet

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no.

38. Who did you last call?

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

i dont dance

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

i havent!

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

too long

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

mhmm

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

idk i dont think so

44. Do you tan in the nude?

i dont even tan bro

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

i havent kissed anyone yet!!

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

more like the other way around

47. Who was the last person to call you?

48. Do you sing in the shower?

ahhh yeah kinda sometimes

49. Do you dance in the car?

not really nop

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

i wish

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

i never have?? beside like school photos

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

sometimes cause some are ok

53. Is Christmas stressful?

uhh depends cause only sometimes

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

a what now

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

never had fruit pie

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

a veterinarian

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

idk kinda

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

y E S

59. Take a vitamin daily?

i should but i always forget :(

60. Wear slippers?

when it’s cold

61. Wear a bath robe?

sometimes but mainly only when it gets really cold pff

62. What do you wear to bed?

pj’s! some stretchy pants that are really soft and an old kinda oversized t shirt

63. First concert?

pentatonix

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

uh probably target or walmart

65. Nike or Adidas?

nike??? idk what the other one is

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

depends on the mood

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

depends also bc i like both

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

fuck idk

69. Ever take dance lessons?

i tried to take ballet when i was younger but i always moved too much so it never happened

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

together? no? maybe just living together one day though yknow

71. Can you curl your tongue?

yep!! p fun to do too

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

god no i suck so much at spelling

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

yes

74. What is your favorite book?

hmm either a Wrinkle in time the graphic novel or like harry potter series or Throne of glass series

75. Do you study better with or without music?

depends, sometimes one,, sometimes another

76. Regularly burn incense?

i wanna say no but i also dont remember what incense is so

77. Ever been in love?

i wanna say so

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

oohhh i wanna see uh imagine dragons or melanie martinez (i think i spelled that wrong heck)

79. What was the last concert you saw?

Lindsey Stirling

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

uhh cold???/ i dont really have tea or anything

81. Tea or coffee?

coffee?? as i said i dont have much tea and have apparently only ever had it like twice

82. Favorite type of cookie?

CHOCOLATE CHIP YES PLEASE GKDFJSLm

83. Can you swim well?

i think i swim ok

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

yeah but not for as long

85. Are you patient?

n o

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

DJ pls

87. Ever won a contest?

i won like 2nd or third place in a robotics competition once

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

nope

89. Which are better black or green olives?

nEiTHER EW THEYrE GROS AKDSJFDKnm

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

Whatever the heck people want personally i wouldnt care tbh

91. Best room for a fireplace?

living room????

92. Do you want to get married

i wouldnt mind but idk it’s a lot of money and kinda dumb and divorce is so much of a hassle i mean plus if you love someone enough you wouldnt need to get married and put hand cuffs to make sure yknow??

1 note · View note

relationshipadviser-blog · 5 years

Text

Is sex the answer to your relationship woes?

New Post has been published on https://relationshipqia.com/must-see/is-sex-the-answer-to-your-relationship-woes/

Is sex the answer to your relationship woes?

Michele Weiner-Davis, the marriage-guidance counsellor, explains why she thinks having sex even if you dont feel like it is the foundation of a happy relationship

Is sex the answer to your relationship woes?

Sex

Inner life

Is sex the answer to your relationship woes?

Michele Weiner-Davis, the marriage-guidance counsellor, explains why she thinks having sex even if you dont feel like it is the foundation of a happy relationship

Amelia Hill

@byameliahill

Sun 21 Jan 2018 01.00EST Last modified on Sun 21 Jan 2018 09.52EST

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Just Do It. Your partner will be grateful, happier and therefore nicer, too, says Michele Weiner-Davis. Illustration: Andrea De Santis/Observer

How does it make you feel when your partner is cold and distant? Or when theyre critical and prickly? Does it make you want to rip their clothes off, order in a vat of whipped cream and install a chandelier to swing from?

No? Well theres your problem according, at least, to Michele Weiner-Davis, the marriage-guidance counsellor whose Ted talk explaining her unconventional advice to warring couples has been viewed almost 3.5 million times online.

Her advice couldnt be simpler: shag. Do it even if you dont want to, do it especially if you dont want to and, most important of all, do it frequently whether you want to or not. To make it even clearer, shes borrowed one of the most famous advertising slogans of recent times: Just Do It. Your partner will be grateful, happier and therefore nicer, too, she explains from her clinic in Colorado. Its a win-win situation for both of you!

Weiner-Daviss self-confessed zealotry for marriage has its roots in the moment her mother blew her teenage world apart by announcing that her seemingly perfect marriage had been a sham for its 23-year duration. She was 16 at the time, and says she wasnt the only one who didnt recover from the bombshell: her mother never remarried and her two sons rarely speak to her.

The experience, says Weiner-Davis who states that her greatest achievement is her own 40-year marriage was transformative. She became a staunch believer in the fact that most divorces can be prevented; that the relief of a post-divorce life is temporary but the pain of divorce is permanent; and that if couples put enough work into staying together, they can fall back in love and live happily ever after.

Over the years, Weiner-Davis has honed her message. Shes now stripped it back to what she believes is the essence of a successful marriage. Gone is any therapeutic consideration of a couples history; of their emotional travails; of cause and consequence. Now she is entirely one-track minded: no matter how appalling the state of a marriage, she believes that kind, generous and frequent sex can bring it back from the teetering edge of collapse.

Her realisation was hard-won. For decades, I was in the trenches with warring couples, she says. But there were times when I was not too effective. I realised that there was a pattern to the times Id failed. There was always one spouse desperately hoping for more touch and because that was not happening, they were not investing themselves in the relationship in other ways.

Weiner-Davis stopped focussing on the couples difficulties from an emotional angle and addressed them exclusively as sexual problems. that when the so-called low-desire partner who is, she is at pains to emphasise, just as likely to be a man or a woman was encouraged to have sex they didnt particularly want, not only did they end up enjoying themselves but the high-desire partner became a much nicer person to be around.

I heard the same story from my clients so often that I did some research, she said, and found several different sex researchers who confirmed what I was finding: that for millions of people, they have to be physically stimulated before they feel desire.

Armed with this new theory, Weiner-Davis began encouraging her low-desire clients to be receptive to the sexual advances of their high-desire spouse, even if they werent feeling up for it. I found that unless there was something a lot more complicated going on, she insists, there were usually substantial relationship benefits to making love with your high-desire partner.

She rejects any suggestion that shes advocating a sexually subservient, anti-feminist, lie back and think of England approach. In fact, she says this is the embodiment of female empowerment.

Its not just telling women to spread their legs, she insists. This is not just about sex. For a high-desire spouse, sex isnt usually about the orgasm: its about someone wanting to feel that their partner desires and wants them. Im hoping that women will feel empowered that they are getting their own needs met through understanding their partner.

No still means no, she says. But it helps to not just say no. Instead, explain why you dont want to make love, suggest a later date and ask whether theres something you can do for your spouse right now instead. But heres the deal, she adds: There had better be a whole more Yess or Laters than Nos because if the Nos win, it leads to the problems I have been talking about.

Weiner-Davis points out that while its commonly accepted that couples should make all their important family decisions together, when it comes to sex, who ever has the lower sex drive makes a unilateral choice for them both. And, just to rub salt in the wound, she adds, the disenfranchised, high-desire one is expected to stay monogamous. No wonder, she says, they get cross.

I mention Weiner-Daviss theory to some female friends of mine. The overriding response is: Oh God, not another thing for my To Do list! Weiner-Davis is quick to condemn this response. Imagine if, when a woman said she wanted to have more intimate conversations or a date night, her husband said: Its just one more thing on my To Do list! For a high-desire spouse who experiences love through touch instead of quality time, its exactly the same impact. Ive had grown men crying in my office, crying about the sense of rejection they feel from their low-desire wives.

I then regale her with the experience of a friend whose husband had started his own business which quickly went catastrophically wrong. The family finances were in peril and he couldnt cope. His wife stepped in. Alongside her own job and while juggling the childcare, she worked late into the night for weeks to stabilise their security. During this time, she was scrupulous in not blaming her husband, either explicitly or implicitly.

With crisis narrowly averted, the stressed and sleep-deprived wife realised her husband was being snippy and sulky. When she asked what was wrong, he exclaimed: We havent had sex for weeks! Surely, I ask Weiner-Davis, this shows that not all demands for sex should be met with her Just Do It ethos.

Not at all, she says. This woman knew his ego needed to be protected and tried to do that by not blaming him for his mistakes. But it sounds like the bigger statement for him was: Am I still a man and do you still desire me?

But its the selfish, uncontrolled behaviour of a spoilt child, I insist. Weiner-Davis doesnt disagree. Women often say that they feel they have three children instead of two children and a husband, she admits. But the fact that this husband was telling his wife what he was feeling sad about is a really good sign: some people throw in the towel.

Is the deal explicit, I ask, does the low-desire one say: OK, well make love more often, but then you have to turn your iPhone off every once in a while so we can actually talk?

Yes and no, Weiner-Davis says. This isnt about keeping score. Relationships are not 50:50. Theyre 100:100. We have to take responsibility for doing everything that it takes to put the relationship on track even if youre not getting the response you want initially. Thats really hard.

Its about asking yourself, she says, when he or she speaks and acts badly, whether its because you have not had sex for four weeks. Is their anger actually about feeling hurt and rejected? If it is, the low-desire spouse needs to be more sexy even though they will not want to do this. And the other one needs to ask themselves when the last time the couple spent quality time together.

On the other hand, Weiner-Davis admits there is a limit. Id say that after several weeks, if nothing has changed in terms of reciprocity, then the couple do need to sit down and identify whats missing in their relationship for each of them and what they would like to have.

Michele Weiner-Daviss cure for a sex-starved marriage

If you have a low sex drive try to adopt the Nike philosophy and Just Do It!, even if you feel neutral towards having sex at that moment.

If youre the one with a high sex drive, try to discover the way your partner wants to receive love. Its typically through quality time, words of affirmation, thoughtful, practical acts of caring and material gifts.

If you dont want sex at a particular moment, explain why and suggest another specific time – and ask whether you can do something else physical at that moment for your partner instead.

If you have a higher sex drive than your partner, try to empathise with them and accept they might never want wild or creative sex, but see the increased level of intercourse as a gift showing their love.

Remember theres no daily or weekly minimum to ensure a healthy sex life. As a couple you need to work out together what works for you.

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

0 notes

mysteriouslyzealouspandalov-blog · 5 years

Text

Is sex the answer to your relationship woes?

New Post has been published on https://relationshipguideto.com/must-see/is-sex-the-answer-to-your-relationship-woes/

Is sex the answer to your relationship woes?

Michele Weiner-Davis, the marriage-guidance counsellor, explains why she thinks having sex even if you dont feel like it is the foundation of a happy relationship

Is sex the answer to your relationship woes?

Sex

Inner life

Is sex the answer to your relationship woes?

Michele Weiner-Davis, the marriage-guidance counsellor, explains why she thinks having sex even if you dont feel like it is the foundation of a happy relationship

Amelia Hill

@byameliahill

Sun 21 Jan 2018 01.00EST Last modified on Sun 21 Jan 2018 09.52EST

Share on Facebook

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View more sharing options

Share on LinkedIn

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Just Do It. Your partner will be grateful, happier and therefore nicer, too, says Michele Weiner-Davis. Illustration: Andrea De Santis/Observer

She rejects any suggestion that shes advocating a sexually subservient, anti-feminist, lie back and think of England approach. In fact, she says this is the embodiment of female empowerment.

Is the deal explicit, I ask, does the low-desire one say: OK, well make love more often, but then you have to turn your iPhone off every once in a while so we can actually talk?

Michele Weiner-Daviss cure for a sex-starved marriage

If you have a low sex drive try to adopt the Nike philosophy and Just Do It!, even if you feel neutral towards having sex at that moment.

If you dont want sex at a particular moment, explain why and suggest another specific time – and ask whether you can do something else physical at that moment for your partner instead.

Remember theres no daily or weekly minimum to ensure a healthy sex life. As a couple you need to work out together what works for you.

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

0 notes