#theyre my emotional support dysfunctional relationship

[sneezemonster15]

What bothers me the most about SS and NH fans (stans?) is that they can't accept the plain truth from both narrative's and fandom ship's perspective. Nobody is stopping you from writing fics/ self inserts/ porn / whatever but please do say "yes it's a fragment of my imagination, ship's not like that in canon".

Ships: yes you're free to ship what you want, canon or not, but please do accept both relationships are dismissive and not satisfactory (for neither four of them) at best, plain dysfunctional and implicitly toxic at worst (and yes, you can still ship them if you want, it's not a "sin"). The fact that theyre canon is actually more damaging than good as an argument. I don't think people can comprehend that being married does not equal being in love with that person. As a person who grew up with dysfunctional relationship between my parents, resemblance is uncanny. Like... please try to pull yourself away from emotions and attachment and look objectively on things. And if what I said angers anyone, do try to ask yourself why is that the case before attacking anyone.

Naratives: I won't say no development, because there is, just instead of climbing up stairs they fell all the way to the bottom. Both were one-sided affections/ obsession, and just sends a bad message? Like yea do chase after someone, do not accept no as an answer, yes do ignore other's person feelings and opinions, yes do be a nice guy TM, do guilty trip. At the end of the day, one of keys to a healthy relationships is emotional conection and reassurance, and SS and NH have exact opposite of that. This isn't even about SNS, just for both of them ending up with someone who actually actively tries and wants to understand them would be far better ending. And for Hinata and Sakura to stop falling in love with concept of love and obsession and actually rethink if they want a thropy or a genuine connection with another human being.

I'm not an anti nor a pro ship for both SS and NH, but it's concerning that today's generations lack critical thinking this much.

Hi. I agree with everything you said anon.

It is very disappointing that the canon pairs give out such harmful messaging, but they are still being perpetuated constantly in this day and age. We as the consumers of this media should have the objectivity and conscience to reject such unhealthy portrayals of female characters and pairings. But instead, they have huge fan followings who not only approve of them, but harass those who don't.

Like who exactly is in the wrong here?

Media is a reflection of our lives and that's how we come to enjoy it, by this suspension of disbelief availed by the makers through storytelling and characters that we relate to and invest in. They influence us heavily.

Do I blame Kishi? He is a misogynist, so yes. But really, I blame the entire culture that lets these portrayals out into the world willy nilly without condemning them explicitly.

And look at the result. Lots of women think Sakura and Hinata epitomize feminist role models and SS and NH are couple goals.

Shounen has a clear pedagogical element, it's a supporting pillar of this genre that shapes its characters and story and imparted values according to the age group it caters to. It's a particularly delicate age and most people in this age group are pretty impressionable, throughout cultures, there can be difference in degrees. So you give them characters like Sakura or Hinata as 'heroines' ( I say heroines not because they had any significant part but because they were matched up with the two main male characters), without redeeming them or explicitly condemning them, they would think they are good and worthy of idolization. Critical thinking takes time to develop and that's why it is important to be exposed to media that imparts correct values early in life.

Perhaps these fans are the ones who consumed Naruto as kids and now are adult women, who continue to idolize them?

I won't comment on how these stans are in their personal lives but given their content on online platforms, I doubt they are ideal.

I also don't know how much to blame them, I constantly struggle with my need to understand where they are coming from and the repulsion that I experience while communicating with them, what with their vile attitudes, lack of comprehension and stubborn denial.

It's just a sad state of affairs, isn't it?

If I ever raise a daughter, I would not let her watch Naruto until I have exposed her to realistic and healthy portrayals of women, love and friendship in books and on screen, and have had a full fledged discussion afterwards over custard apple ice cream and butter palmiers. Starting with Anne Shirley series by L.M. Montgomery perhaps, hehe.

If she decides to ship Naruto with Sasuke afterwards (for the right reasons of course), she will have my blessings. :)

#ask #anon #anti ss #anti nh #anti sakura #anti hinata #sns #naruto

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ghost hunting Magnus and Luke with Malec headcanons go

well that certainly is...... specific. i love it

okay im actually gonna do this based on that whole "supernatural home repair" show that ppl were talking about because that's just..... hilarious

Luke is the showrunner/guy who goes there to check if there are Ghosts™/historian. He actually puts the effort into his work and hes very good at it, has natural charisma and is good at explaining stuff, so hes actually great on tv. Doesn't know if he believes in ghosts but hes at least gonna try to make the show entertaining

Magnus is the psychic, and - get this - he's an actual warlock. He auditioned for the show as a joke basically and then ppl were like "oh, youre amazing, so funny, the charisma, perfect for tv, you even came in character, amazing" and he was like "..... you know what". he 100% thinks this is all hilarious and does the most stereotypical, obviously fake shit his mind can cook up ("*shaking hands with eyes closed* i can sense...... presences............."). but he kind of gets attached to the show so he uses his magic to ~help~ supernatural events to happen so luke can chill

Alec is the home repairer. He just really wants to do his job. Ghosts dont exist. Ur room is cold because you put the heater in a bad spot. There is a rational explanation for literally all of this (Magnus, behind him: "yeah, ghosts")

s1 is an absolute trainwreck, but the craziest fucking thing happens: the show gets so popular. it's huge

show fans on twitter are like "innovate nothing change nothing do NOT raise the budget just give me more of this absolute garbage show" and it GETS RENEWED

the show basically gets amazingly popular because of lukes charisma, magnus' absolutely hilarious shenanigans (but also his wit and personality that pour through sometimes), and alec's grumpiness.

magnus gets a lot of fans and he has no idea why

the show started when magnus was basically at the final stage of his recovery from depression (due to both abuse, racism, loneliness and queerphobia), and it helped him get outside more, find fun things to do and remember why he loved meeting people and doing over the top shit he kind of didnt anymore. it also earns him new friends. so its very good for him

at the beginning alec is very closed off. hes just the workaholic, hyper-rational kind of guy. he auditioned for the show because it pays well and he was unemployed and struggling financially a bit and he really didnt want to go for his parents' help, since they were in the middle of a divorce and there were still some unresolved things from when he came out (although at the point the show starts theyre already getting around) so he takes what he can get. he doesn't have many fans at first, hes very no-nonsense and focused and barely interacts with the camera in s1.

but his grumpiness and no-nonsense attitude are kind of..... funny? so he adds this other element of trainwreck and dysfunction that makes the show so amazingly popular. also, alec can be pretty witty and even sassy when he wants to, and sometimes those parts of his slip in - mostly when he's fixing something, because the physical labor + feeling comfortable with something he knows how to do and likes doing helps him relax and be a bit more like himself. so slowly his personality starts to shine through to both the audience, and magnus

magnus and alec basically start developing a friendship over magnus constantly teasing alec's seriousness. alec will be in the middle of an Important Explanation about how incorrect door installment can lead to problems in the long run and magnus will show up all like "the door is a ghost". initially alec would roll his eyes and hide his smile behind his hand (really badly i must say) but eventually they evolve into their quick teasing banter

magnus keeps insisting that of course hes 100% serious, hes the real deal and ghosts do exist. the best part is, hes not actually lying. but they dont know that, obviously

luke is the one who first realizes that getting them to interact more would be crazy good and help make the show more dynamic and funny. so from then on they start doing their bits together instead of separated

you know where this is going

there are even some emotional moments where alec talks about his struggle with coming out and being more openly himself, and magnus talks about his struggle with depression and racial/sexuality issues, and Luke talks about how his family rejected him after he decided to work in showbusiness

it always hits the viewers like a ton of bricks

"dealing with depression is hard because it makes you think 'is this who i am? is that what im made of? this emptiness and lethargy?' but what recovery and therapy have taught me is, no. how you deal with depression, survive it, learn from it to get out of your destructive habits and environment that got u there in the first place - that's who you are" "i cant believe this is a quote from the psychic from the supernatural home repair show" "excuse me its from what"

their relationship develops. the three of them become very good friends, and the show only gets more and more popular as time goes by and they get closer, have more fun, interact more

you know what happens

the pining between magnus and alec is just. unbelievable. luke frequently looks at the cameramen like "can u believe this" and it makes the cut like half of the time. him and the cameramen start forming a supporting friendship based on their despair at seeing the two of them just make eyes at each other

magnus makes up 'supernatural' excuses to hold alec's hand, like, once a week

sometimes when magnus cracks a joke or laughs or does something particularly silly alec just. looks at him with so much tenderness and adoration in his eyes the cameramen feel like invasors for filming it

edition team: "why is it that every time magnus laughs the camera gets weird and wobbly?" cameramen, who started ducking and jumping out of the way so as not to invade alecs clearly private looks at magnus: "we were, uh, laughing at his joke too"

somehow neither of them notice. luke refuses to intervene because "im not their dad and they can get their shit together on their own"

he does do his best to guarantee they arent exposed tho

"malec" shippers start popping up anyway because looks or no looks their dynamic is amazing and fun. they are called tinhatters by most other fans. they arent major harrassers or anything like some other real ppl fans, tho, because its my au and i will give common sense to whoever i want

i dont even know how they get together, honestly

it takes a really long time

luke is about to go crazy

they get married at the end idk

#ask #anonymous #sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #luke garroway #malec #malec au #fic #kinda? #ficlet #fic idea #overflowing trashcan #supernatural home repair au #brotp: downworlder dads

[emubop]

Me, trying to explain my executive dysfunction to my dad: I know I have to do the thing, and I understand the consequences of not doing the thing, and I want to avoid those consequences especially because I've experienced them and know I don't like them. And I know I want the incentives for doing the thing, too. I just can't make myself do it and I have a really hard time explaining the disconnect.

My dad: Well, I think maybe when you move out and have to really deal with the consequences of not doing something, that'll help you learn to do it.

Me: *looks into the camera like I'm on the office*

#executive dysfunction #add struggles #actuallyadd #like i love my parents and theyre doing the best they can to support me and for the most part have been amazing #but i feel like certain things like this just...either they never really listen to me #or they just cant understand #and its so fucking frustrating like #im trying to communicate my problems with you!! bc you told me to reach out when im struggling!!! and yet!!! #there are moments where i feel like they forget im an adult #(actually had a fight w my mom abt that today but thats another can of worms) #i hate how im seen as childish bc i struggle w organization and im a naturally emotional person #anyway...yeah #love my parents and they love me and we have a good relationship but moments like this are hard #emubops life #personal #ok to reblog tho if u want but idk why youd want to #but i mean hey if u want to then have at

[winterywitch]

I just want to say that I really admire the depth you put into your OC's and your confidence in talking about them! I'd like to learn more about them, but I'm on mobile and it isn't letting me search the tags, so... are there any W@tchtower Grotto characters you haven't talked much about that you'd want to talk about?

oh!! ;-; gee thank you.......................

uhhhhhhh gee idk why but it feels like i dont have an actual comprehensive post on who/what nana actually is bc most of my friends know him very well already? so here’s that

hes like... early 30s?? in terms of appearance/maturity, hes the godking of the country in midnight

nana is uh... certainly a rebel at his core thats one way to put it, a lot of core things about him for better or for worse challenge the status quo. he thinks this is a good thing 100% of the time, like he’s some kind of radical rebelling against an oppressive norm on every single norm he challenges. (its not)

he is RIDICULOUSLY people-smart, hes likely an empath and could easily be called a genius when it comes to reading people and understanding how people tend to work.

if he were a dnd character he’d be a sorceror, he casts from charisma not intelligence [though he is certainly NOT lacking in that department]

hes definitely considered the leader of his little commune of kings [involving desiderius, hachi and kyuun], those three tend to defer to him and seek him out for advice [well. they mostly Used to now its just hachi that does that last part]

he sees himself as a teacher and guide to people, which isnt inaccurate necessarily!

hes very good to his people, his country as a whole is doing pretty well financially, there’s a vibe there of everyone taking care of one another! not to mention the fact that its lovely visually

he’s right about most things and he’s comfortably aware of the fact that he’s right about most things. but hes open to being corrected! he cant possibly be right about everything ALL the time!! he just has to consider you an authority on what youre talking about, which is something he very rarely considers other people to be, or he might just ignore your correction. but sometimes he wont, which makes you feel kinda silly for pointing out his tendency for hypocrisy! how confusing. it’s hard to keep up with this one.

he, like all of his colleagues minus desiderius, thinks he is the only Good King while all the others are complete messes who dont know what theyre doing or are just flat out bad people. but like, yknow, its a fucked up dysfunctional family! that’s totally normal, right??1/11

something about him just makes you think “theres a guy who knows his shit,” its probably his sturdy [outward] confidence, his [appearance of] wisdom, his [very real] intelligence and his long list of supporters that make you think that about him

his hair is weird as shit! there are ‘stars’ in it that glow, not BLINDINGLY bright but i mean yknow, they do glow, and where theyre embedded in his hair theres increased physical sensitivity. pulling on this guy’s hair fucking HURTS, even petting it can be uncomfortable if youre not really really careful. not to mention a fucking haircut, good lord (haha)

his parents were kind of like... very emotionally shallow, they were the sorts of people to be like Oh I’m Fine ^_^ at everything, and in subtle and hard-to-detect ways, they would punish nana for showing emotion of any kind (for example, laughing at him when he would cry at sad things as a child). because of this, he is now very open about his emotions and embraces them as something he should listen to and follow rather than only relying on cold logic as his parents tried to have him do. (its a lot more sinister in practice than it sounds, because yeah most of the time it is innocent like this but at the same time, he takes his own feelings VERY seriously and if you hurt them, even if it’s just by having boundaries, he will identify you as someone mistreating him or even abusing him depending on how close you are]

[heres where we get into The Shit, big tw for abuse, csa/pedophilia and “marital” sexual abuse/assault]

his closest friend and advisor arya kurosawa has been his best friend since they were both teenagers. they met when arya was 14 and nana was 17 [in terms of appearance/maturity are what those ages refer to, they were both immortal] and they got along very well.

of course by very well i mean on top of getting along very well, nana has ALWAYS had an inherent, base-level disrespect for arya’s boundaries. it’s been there since they were teens, and it mostly manifested in nana pressuring arya to do [mostly innocent - but the pressure and coercion made them not so innocent] things he was scared to do.

they were inseparable pretty much ever since they met and VERY, very in love with each other

they definitely were a romantic item by the time nana inherited the throne from his mother, and the age gap was definitely concerning but it only grew more concerning as nana’s mental/appearance age rose because he was growing up emotionally and psychologically and arya’s... stagnated.

when nana was in his early 30s so to speak, arya was stuck at 14-15 or so. and like... they didnt really see anything weird about that, they figured “well we both met when we were kids so its not like nana is a pedophile or anything, why question something so good?”

to someone who didnt know better wrt age gaps in romantic relationships and pedophilia, the relationship between those two would have looked completely normal and healthy. there was certainly an appearance of mutual respect, support, love and commitment

nana could only treat a 14-15 year old so much like his equal. to be totally honest, even since they were teenagers, nana treated arya like his inferior, like a student that needed to be taught, and that dynamic only grew/got worse as nana aged mentally.

but at the same time arya also taught nana so many things! see? nana wasn’t some condescending prick! obviously everything is fine. there were a lot of ways sometimes in which ARYA was the adult and nana was the child ^_^ so it’s equal, right?

arya certainly didnt know any better, nana was the love of his life and that was all there was to it. he knew [because of nana] that any discrimination they might face due to their ages in this relationship was simply unfounded, cruel bigotry from a species of essentially cavemen who were afraid of fire. he knew he was progressive for his time, in a couple decades probably everyone else would come to their senses too!

long story short, one day arya very quickly, almost violently realized EXACTLY everything that was wrong. nana’s condescending behavior had come to a head and someone arya considered a playful rival had forced him, very painfully, to face the truth of what this relationship was: abuse from a man who should know better, taking advantage of a boy who didnt.

arya couldnt exactly love nana after realizing this. and it really fucking sucked. he really wanted to go back to the way things used to be, he wanted to “undiscover” what he’d discovered, but there was no way back and he felt so broken and dirty and ungrateful and bratty and selfish for suddenly feeling this way.

nana on the other hand noticed arya very suddenly averse to being touched or held or even looked at. for a while, he was very understanding about this - what that playful rival did was essentially cast a spell and at first he thought arya was just sick or physically not well or something, and that he’d get better soon.

he didn’t.

nana didn’t know what to do. suddenly arya was neglecting him, acting like he was terrified of nana. he’d never been like this before, what happened? it’s incredibly painful and confusing, losing the love of your life like that; one day you’re everything to them, and the next they’re flinching every time you raise your hand around them. nana had never hit him or abused him verbally... in fact, it was nana who HELPED ARYA gain the strength and courage he needed to become independent from his emotionally abusive parents. so why was nana suddenly the bad guy? he had no idea what happened, why, how to fix it, or anything like that.

eventually he snapped, unable to take being deprived of love and attention like this, so he just took whatever he wanted, physically, not caring what arya thought of it.

he knew it was wrong. he knew he’d definitely crossed the line into objectively unforgivable actions. but he was almost too afraid to stop and relinquish this power over arya, because then he had to A.) lose arya, and B.) be held accountable for his actions. both two very terrifying things he saw no personal gain in.

that went on for a long time, until nana sort of... slowly realized he was feeling weaker and weaker, more prone to physical weariness dizziness, severe headaches and nausea, and he didn’t put 2 and 2 together until it was too late.

arya had figured out how to start poisoning him and getting away with it.

by that point, nana realized not just what was happening and why, but also that he unquestionably, factually deserved this pain and much, much more. that realization was too much for him, it sort of broke him psychologically for a very long time, leaving him completely helpless to whatever revenge arya decided to take on him

[it was all physical and psychological torture, but arya was certain NEVER to stoop to his level and sexually abuse nana. he couldnt even think of sleeping with nana “consensually” anyway, it made him horribly sick to even consider]

eventually after a long-ass time of this, arya just got sick of looking at nana and couldn’t even be around him anymore without feeling absolutely god-awful, so he just abandoned nana, leaving him to fester in his broken body and mind

and y’know, stuff happens after that, but thats all there really is to the most prominent phase of nana’s development in THIS story. i also play him in his phase of development after that last bullet point [roughly 200 years later], where he’s fucked up in all kinds of ways and totally deserving it, but also trying to... not really redeem himself or anything like that, he knows that’s not really a thing, but rather to make himself useful to good people who want to do the right thing, in a dnd campaign

nana goes through a SHIT TON of changes, to the point that each phase of his development has his own individual profile on toyhou.se, he’s become a Big Trauma Coping Character for me and somewhat an experiment in redemption arcs, seeing what exactly should happen and how to make “redemption” arcs seem not cheap or forced

here’s the one i talked about in this post though

http://toyhou.se/335049.nana-of-the-stars

#kara's charas #w@tchtower grotto #mind the warnings! #misstooni

[viralhottopics]

If you were an elephant

the world would be a brighter, smellier, noisier place and you would be a better, wiser, kinder person. The author of Being a Beast explains all

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If you were an elephant living wild in a western city, youd be confused and disgusted.

Youd have one two-fingered hand swinging from your face a hand as sensitive as tumescent genitals, but which could smash a wall or pick a cherry. With that hand youd explore your best friends mouths, just for the sake of friendship. With that hand youd smell water miles away and the flowers at your feet. Youd sift it all, triaging. Category 1: immediate danger. Category 2: potential threat. Category 3: food and water. Category 4: weather forecasts short and long range. Category 5: pleasure.

Grumbles from trucks and cabs would shudder through the toxic ground, tickle the lamellar corpuscles in your feet and ricochet up your bones. Youd hear with your feet, and your femurs would be microphones. As you walked 10 miles for your breakfast youd chatter with your friends in 10 octaves. A nearby human would throb like a bodhran as subsonic waves bounced around her chest.

Even if it swayed with grass instead of being covered in concrete and dog shit, the city would be far, far too small for you. Youd feel the ring roads like a corset. Youd smell succulent fields outside, and be wistful. But youd make the most of what you had. Youd follow a labyrinth of old roads, relying on the wisdom of long-dead elephants, now passed down to your matriarch. Youd have the happiest kind of political system, run by wise old women, appointed for their knowledge of the world and their judgment, uninterested in hierarchy for hierarchys sake, and seeking the greatest good for the greatest number.

No room here for the infantile phallocentric Nietzscheanism that is destroying modern human culture. If you were a boy youd be on the margins, drifting between family groups (but never allowed to disrupt them) or shacked up with your bachelor pals in the elephant equivalent of an unswept bedsit (though usually your behaviour would be gentler, more convivial and more urbane than cohabiting human males). Your function would be to inseminate, and thats all. Government would be the business of the females.

Youd hear with your feet, and your femurs would be microphones. Photograph: Bruno Guerreiro/Getty Images/EyeEm

Youd be a communitarian. Relationality would be everything. Its not that you couldnt survive alone, although there would certainly be a survival benefit from being a member of a community, just as humans live longer if they are plugged into a church, a mosque or a bowling club. Yes, at some level your altruism might be reciprocal altruism, where you scratch my back if I scratch yours, or kin selection, where you are somehow persuaded to sacrifice yourself if your death or disadvantage will preserve a gene in a sufficiently closely related gene-bearer. But at a much more obvious and important level youd be relational joyously shouldering the duties that come with community because it made you happy. Why do elephants seek out other elephants? Not primarily for sex, or for an extra arsenal of receptors to pick up the scent of poachers, or because they assume that the others will have found particularly nutritious food, but because they like other elephants.

This should be terribly unsurprising. Yet many humans will be surprised. That shows how fully weve fallen for the anthropocentric lie that only humans have minds and real emotions. The lie is the high-water mark of scientific fundamentalism. Fortunately its going out of fashion now, but for years it paralysed the study of animal behaviour.

As an elephant, youd have a mind. You would, no doubt at all, be conscious. All the evidence agrees. None absolutely none disagrees. Youd have a sense of yourself as distinct from other things. When you looked out contemptuously at humans, wondering why they ate obviously contaminated food, opted to be miserable and alone, or wasted energy on pointless aggression and anxiety, it would be your contempt, as opposed to generic elephantine contempt, or reflexive contempt that bypassed your cerebral cortex, or the contempt of your sister. It would be you looking out, and youd know it was you.

Youd have a mind. You would, no doubt at all, be conscious. Photograph: Palani Mohan/Getty Images

The American ecologist Carl Safina argues that elephant X can understand the relationship that elephant Y has with elephant Z whether it is a kin relationship or simple friendship. Just think about that. Think about what it entails for Xs knowledge of itself; for Xs ability to think itself into the head of another, and for the way that X must articulate to itself the concept of a third-party relationship. Perhaps elephants are explaining the world to themselves by formulating, evaluating and selecting propositions a faculty we tend to think of as uniquely ours.

That will be too much for most. Indeed, its a mistake to assume that in order to have a mind one has to have a mind that is like human minds. So lets just say that, according to the evidence, its not obviously ridiculous to invite you, the human, to imagine yourself as an elephant. Theres some biological justification for what sounds like a whimsical, sentimental literary device. You and the elephant both have minds, wrought from the same stuff. And your minds engage with the world using the same devices. Your neurological hardware differs only in sensitivity: sodium and potassium surge in the same way through the same molecular gates when you and the elephant step on a nail; the same ancient hormones mediate pleasure, anger and stress. If you prick us, ask the elephants (using a chromatic orchestra of sounds, and well over 100 distinct body movements), do we not bleed? Indeed they do.

We can be cautiously Beatrix-Pottery with elephants. When the temporal glands near their eyes stream in circumstances that, for us, would be emotional, theyre crying. When a bereaved elephant mother carries her dead baby round on her tusks, or trails miserably behind the herd for weeks, her head hanging down, shes grieving. When other elephants sit for hours around the body of a dead elephant, theyre mourning. When they cover an elephant corpse with soil or vegetation, or move elephant bones, theyre being reverential. When they cover a dead human, or build a protective wall of sticks around a wounded human, theyre showing an empathic acknowledgment of our shared destiny that wed do well to learn. These, dear reductionists, are, as you would put it, the most parsimonious hypotheses.

Youd smell water miles away and the flowers at your feet. Photograph: Simon Eeman/Alamy Stock Photo

If elephants have minds, and minds (as seems likely) can extend beyond the brains in which we conventionally assume theyre situated, wed expect them to tune into distant elephants, and perhaps into the minds of other species too. There are some tantalising hints that they can. Safina was told by a keeper at a Kenyan elephant sanctuary that the resident elephants knew, from distances well beyond the reach of ordinary senses, that other elephants were on the way just as Kalahari bushmen know, from 50 miles away, just what a hunting party has killed, and when it will return. When the elephant whisperer Lawrence Anthony died, two groups of elephants that hed rescued came to his house on two consecutive days. They hadnt visited for a year.

Perhaps one of the reasons were so keen to deny non-human creatures minds, consciousness and personhood is that, if theyre people, theyre embarrassingly better people than we are. They build better communities; they live at peace with themselves and arent, unlike us, actively psychopathic towards other species. They know, and take account of, a great deal more information about the natural world than we do.

Back to the shamanic fantasy: youre a city elephant. Youll inhabit the city much more intensely and satisfactorily than most of its human denizens. All your senses will be turned fully on. You wont, like most woefully unsensual humans, use only your eyes, and then translate the visual images into self-referential abstractions with only a slight and dysfunctional relationship to the real world. Youll be much more properly local than any cockney, New Yorker or Madrileo, though you call Africa your home. Youll know far more of the city than any geographer, historian, zoologist, botanist, policeman or lover. By trying to become an elephant, you might become a much more thriving human.

Be careful, though. Youre likely to end up dead because someone wants a couple of your teeth.

Charles Foster is a fellow of Green Templeton College, University of Oxford, and author of Being a Beast. Some of the speculation in this article is based on elephant lore recorded in Carl Safinas Beyond Words: What Animals Think and Feel.

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from If you were an elephant

#If you were an elephant