#things HAVE been shit since she left

[guinevereslancelot]

what was with cameron house md she spends 90% of the episode saying she wants their patient to die bc he's a genocidal dictator and her colleague husband says "babe it bothers me for ethical reasons that you want our patient to die :(" and she said "hm maybe you're right :/" but when it comes down to it the genocidal dictator lays a finger on her in an aggressive manner and chase instantly commits medical malpractice to murder the guy and then when he tells her she LEAVES HIM bc boo hoo he's a murderer now like GIRL he killed a man for you!!! he's wracked with catholic guilt!!! he's being crushed beneath the weight of his sins because he chose his devotion to you over his devotion to god!!! he literally could not get any sexier at this moment in time!!!

#girl what are you doing...... #also just in general she did not deserve him honestly he was so good to her and for WHAT #just to be abandoned at peak devotion and guilt and hotness 🙄 #girl get OUT of my way i'm stronger than you #if she cared she could fix him or make him worse but i could love and support him no matter what 😌 #his muder is a part of him and its SEXY #robert chase #house md #malpractice md #i know the actors broke up irl or whatever but wtf..... #i should have ended my rewatch w their happy lil wedding at the end of s5 #s6 everything instantly goes to shit #and stays shitty #chase should be happy fr #he's supposed to turn into house basically but they should have made him the well adjusted version of house #like how nightwing is the well adjusted version of batman #anyway i have no real point here i just lowkey dont like cameron bc of this arc #also her obsession w house is so weird i wish they hadn't made that a thing #this has been a shitpost #anyway she left chase at the absolute peak of his sexiness wtf....... #anyway since this apparently needs to be said its not that deep this is a silly post if you send me hate messages i wont answer #i block and ignore anon hate bc i am too busy touching grass to be rude to strangers over a tv show

[camgoloud]

you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons

#‘out of nowhere’ she says like she hasn’t been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups #and the later regrets of the parties involved #anyway. tell me not to text her #it’s been over two years since the last time we talked… absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength #she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life #and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! there’s a lot of things i used to like about myself that i don’t think i’m ever #going to get back #and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole ‘maybe i could make things right’ song and dance 😔 #the thing is most of the time i’m not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that #really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you #felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldn’t have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way #instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?’ #and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope she’s gotten some of her shit worked out #so i’m not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i can’t think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so 🙃 #i don’t actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least #we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she #like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasn’t crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have #said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc. #it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just don’t see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me #and yet… the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger person… #caseyposting

[symbioticsimplicity]

Y’all what if Lilith didn't choose to take a vaycay in Heaven? What if she got redeemed?

#if she got redeemed and it got hidden by Adam and Lute #then having Sir Pentious pop up in front of Sera and Emily would have been also to keep that possibility from being hidden again #not sure what deal she would have made with Adam in that case #other than maybe to keep the exterminators from cleaning house altogether once they learned it was possible?? #maybe give a double meaning to Adam's line about no one learning the truth??? #and it would make sense Lilith seemed by all accounts a good wife and mother as well as a good queen who wanted the best for her people #so it stands to reason she could have been redeemed especially considering her sin wasn't like...huge #maybe she got taken out during an exorcism since she wasn't technically hellborn she would have been fair game #and it would make sense that she'd want to spare Lucifer the pain of finding her dead so she slunk off somewhere??? #only to then find herself alive in heaven with no means of telling her family #it would also explain why she's just sitting alone on a beach instead of interacting with people when she's clearly a people person #she doesn't wanna be there so she'd rather be left alone #and if her deal was to help spare the rest of hell it would make sense as a perspective for having her go talk to Charlie #plus it gives a chance for her to be a rebellious little shit and tell Charlie her idea works and not to abandon it #if viv wants her and Luci to still be a thing and a healthy thing this would be a hell of an angle to hit it at #as well as giving Lucifer more motivation to take an active role in things #and maybe earn redemption for himself too?? #idk but i think that would be really interesting especially with the fans expectations leaning so far the other way rn #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin hotel lilith

[fjordfolk]

Hello, I was just wondering if you could share more about the kind of training and preparation you did with your girls at home/on shorter walks to get them ready for long hikes. And out of curiosity, what were the traits you looked for in potential breeds/puppies to suit long hikes? 💜

Oof, I wish I had a good and technical system to present here, but the truth is that we live in a rural part of Norway where nothing is flat unless it was dug out and the asphalt cracks so fast the main roads count as mild terrain, so a lot of it just comes with the territory.

From early on I've pretty much just tried to let them learn and grow as naturally as possible and to not limit them too much, and all of our puppies have been active and come on short hikes since they were ~3 months old. Not like heavy, static, structured activity - but little off-trail mountain or forest treks focused on play and exploration. Shaping the dog I want from the start, basically.

Our activity levels fluctuate with the season and weather, so we only do really long hikes in the summer and early autumn. But it's not unusual to spend 3-4hrs going mostly uphill on a regular walk, so doubling that for a hike isn't that big of an ask as long as they're healthy and in good base condition. And once hiking season starts rolling around in June after eight months of snow/sleet/rain, I'm usually in worse shape than my dogs anyway lol. I know my dogs well and we start the season with a few warmup hikes, to see where we're all at.

As far as breeds go, idk. I just tend to like a relatively neutral, balanced build. I'm not personally into very large or heavy dogs. I appreciate a little athleticism. I want less prey drive and more handler orientation. The ideal dog for me is one that maybe doesn't Have To, but Can and Wants To. Over the years I've also learned that I like a little moderation in body and angulation, and I prefer a slightly careful dog over an overconfident one.

#i hope this ramble answers maybe one of your questions #the overconfidence esp is a thing for me #i understand that a lot of ppl want a dog that throws itself into anything no questions asked - but not in an uncontrolled environment #and melis is adding another factor to that now where #shes SO sure of herself and confident she really feels NO urge to check in w us at all. getting none of that for free w this one #i take a lot of pride in my dogs being in good condition so thats also a thing that ties into this - i try to keep them lean and muscled #one time a friend picked up Sparta and went: :O Holy Shit! and ive been chasing that high ever since #and finally #for me hiking isnt so much about Going Places its just #being. existing. vibing. #being near and with ur dog. having fun with them and being kind to them and getting to know ourselves and each other #not in relation to other people or places just as is/are/am. #it doesnt really matter if we reach a summit or whatever. as long as we come back in the same pieces as we left in it was successful

[kennabeth]

dustfinger crying over brianna... me punching a hole in the wall...

#this is the only time he actually cries in the whole series and he's just #silently weeping because he doesnt know her he doesnt know how to know her #his angry little girl who took every moment apart as a rejection is now an angry big girl who wants to know why she wasnt worth staying for #because he was her entire world!! she adored him and copied him and followed him and he left her all the same #and that hurt goes beyond being able to blame on mo for taking him away for good #and dustfinger fucking knows it #he tells us he was a shit father and he can regret it with every fiber of his being and he can try again with farid and jehan #and he can get on his knees and beg for brianna's forgiveness #but it's not going to bring that unhurt little girl back #and he is so afraid of her hating him forever #says kenna #inkheart #dustfinger #brianna #want this in my tag for her #anyway do you all remember that silk scarf that dustfinger uses in inkheart to wrap mo's arm after basta's dogs get him? #ive always thought that was for brianna since he always brought her pretty things back #and ive not once in 15 years been able to come up with another reason why hed have that on him

[dreamlogic]

...

#chronic blogging #shit chat #well at this point both of my parents (who i inherited my Just Tough It Out streak from) have #upon hearing how bad my post-hysterectomy pain has been #told me 'umm no you need to go see someone.' and 'please just go to urgent care i will pay for it if your insurance won't.' respectively #haunted by the ghost of my right ovary (sharp stabbing pains & debilitating muscle spasms around the incision site) #it's been 1.5 years since surgery and it's getting worse not better #at my 1mo post op i was like 'hey right side hurts a lot worse & the incision seems really wonky & off-center. thoughts?' #they said it was nothing to worry about give it time i might still be feeling pain up to 6mo post op #sooo 8mo post op contact surgeon again 'hey remember that thing i mentioned? yeah still hurts bad enough i struggle to walk sometimes' #she says eeehhh maybe you developed pelvic floor dysfunction or always had it and surgery made it worse. read this book & do some stretches #book stretches & muscle relaxers helped for a bit so i just carried on but it was not improving in fact becoming more persistent #lil over a year post op contact surgeon like 'HEY do not ignore me i am in an amount of pain that is NOT NORMAL and you WILL see me' #drive 1+ hrs for her to poke at me for ~10 minutes ignore most of what i was saying and determine it's just muscle spasms do more stretches #said physical therapy MIGHT help if i did it 2x monthly for at least 6mo. which would've involved commuting over an hour during the workweek #no THANK you i'll just keep doing my stupid stretches. and the thing is. #the stretches ARE helping. i feel my overall balance/flexibility/stamina improving #but that by contrast is making the STABBING PAINS WHERE MY RIGHT OVARY USED TO BE all the more obvious #'oh it's just muscle spasms' well why the FUCK are my muscles spasming around THIS SPOT EXCLUSIVELY for SEVENTEEN MONTHS STRAIGHT #i have essentially no pain on my left side at all. i feel overall just fine & dandy but i am convinced there is something #like. very seriously wrong on the right side causing this #and yeah if my surgeon won't listen to me maybe i will check myself into urgent care and demand an ultrasound #(which btw i asked for during my last visit & she told me it was unnecessary & to fuck off) #but now the two people who instilled me with a very deep mistrust for the medical industry #and from who i learned from via a lifetime of observation how to dissociate from chronic pain in order to function #are telling me 'yeah no this is bad you need a DOCTOR.' umm. i probably need a doctor. #was talking w/ E last night about degrees of pain & like. avg day is like 4-6 on a 0-10 scale. good days 2-3. #i don't consider calling out from work unless it's like an 8 or higher cause i'm just so used to it. #i'm sick of it. so fucking bored with being in constant pain. i want my life & energy back. i want a personality beyond Oh Just Tired back. #i wanna be able to enjoy touch again with immediately hitting overstimulation threshold due to pain.

[arionawrites]

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

#aritalks #i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use #not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before #and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk #but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day! #the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow #also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years #(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years #and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk) #was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!! #i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight #so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday #my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work #my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all #over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins) #but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered #(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting #when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so #just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my #mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19) #so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her #and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too #i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure #out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still #dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not #the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one #if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it #but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help #and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks #just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️

[aurore-parle-de-ses-idees]

🖊️ for Est?

est :D

she needs to figure out that she's mostly just dps, and That's Fine, Actually. she can do a little healing (story wise anyway lol. when i go raiding she mostly heals), but she's not really good at it. she doesn't take naturally to it and she never really studied it either, and she tries to make up for that with stubbornness and nothing else, which doesn't always work out. she'll jump into healing when she's panicking sometimes- and sometimes it is admittedly necessary to go about things that way- and she'll go around offering it after a fight or something bc she feels like she's obligated to bc she can (and sometimes also bc it's pretty much the only thing she can do at all), but it's still very much not her Thing; a far cry from her storm affinity

some of her trying to like. fill every role at once was an offshoot of how much time she's spent just on her own, traveling and adventuring and, most recently, Being The PC lol. even when she works with other people for a bit, it hasn't often been long-term nor in groups where she can safely just let someone else handle it entirely

#ask games #est #ask game of 'yeah just ramble about your guys for a bit' :D #the Other thing with her and healing is the unintended consequences #which she hasn't often been around long enough to actually *see* #a lot of your typical adventurer show up do a few things be on your way #tadan did not take the healing- well ok. there was a lot about that situation he didn't take very well [in est-verse] and the near-death th #thing absolutely did not help. but est left to keep doing the epic and he left tinnudir for awhile and she hasn't seen him since #annoth is another one who for sure has unintended consequences happening #but she ran off north again soon after that and hasn't run into him again to even *notice* #(this is. a big problem of hers) #and entirely unrelated to that #i have no thoughts about when or why it would happen but est vs black breath to replicate the raid experience that was Extremely #when i realized i could stack all the heals i wanted on someone but with max stacks of black breath it will not do shit #bc it's -100% incoming healing :) #anyway!! thanks friend <3

[arolesbianism]

Thinks oh so hard abt the spiraling upwards clan founders, especially the birchclan founders. Silly lil kitties who's pasts are drenched in blood with the primary regret of not drawing it sooner

#rat rambles #oc posting #warriors posting #spiraling upwards #long story short they had a shitty awful terrible leader who sucked absolutely ass and they tore him to shreds #I mean that literally they pinned him onto the mountain side and slashed and mauled the shit out of him so hard that his lives evaporated #and several of the cats involved in that scene are sill alive and major parts of the story and I love them #oh also the cat that pinned him through a stab through the throat was his own daughter btw everyone hated his ass so much #and for good reason get his ass #alas in the main story I dont rly get to go too deep into how he harmed everyone involved mostly just three main ones #aka bristlestar because shes murtlepaw's ghost mom dawncrackle because hes also haunting murtle and gullspot because shes bristle's kit #so basically all the flashbacks we get involve those three in some form or another #honeystar was also there and involved but Im not currently planning on having her rly talk abt that #most of her more modern angst is the fact that she was forced into leadership against her will #and shes been alive long enough that shes been leading birchclan far longer than she ever lived in her old clan #but she did go through a lot of shit before birchclan was founded and it definitely shaped her a lot #she used to be a very determined and high spirited lil kitty cat who tried to be optimistic #but her family began to slowly be picked off one by one by both the old leader and the one whod later get evicerated #some of the older cats around her hoped it make her back down from her revelutionary ideas but she noticed that and it backfired on them #instead of being worn down to submission she became absolutely Furious and began to lash out more and become more demanding #it got to the point that she really only had two friends in the entire clan and one of them was her aunt whod later also die after coming #out abt having witnessed the leader killing his own kits #that was the final fucking straw for her and she was fully on board when bristle and dawn started looking for cats to join their rebellion #she did get rly frustrated with them as they waited patiently for the right moment but her remaining bestie kept her from going apeshit #so once the big fight finally broke out she was more than eager to join the hoard of cats chasing the bastard upwards #now unlike some of the other cats involved this legitimately actually made her feel a lot better for a while #for the first time in ages she finally felt like she could be optimistic abt smth again and was excited abt the idea of leaving this place #she had lost so much in this damn place since she was an apprentice and just wanted to finally be able to rest easy #but once they got to their new territory and set up camp things went south real fast as a flood fucked everything up #and after losing the only cat she had left in her life and losing her tail and being made deputy on top of that she deteriorated quickly

[fiendishartist2]

guys what if i want to make my own apollo justice game.

#i need to write a prequel to aa4 pls pls pls pls pls #okay get this: so phoenix isnt disbarred yet and he doesnt have trucy. hes still taking and winning cases #one day he gets a call from edgeworth and hes all like ''wright i need your assistance'' and hes like what for and edgeworth goes #''ive been given the most ridiculous case and i think youre the only man in law who can take care of it'' #so phoenix bikes his ass to the detention center and boom. child behind bars #and phoenix is like ??? hey kid what are doing here. and this kid is the most surly mfer on the planet like you couldnt get- #-a word out of him if you tried. hes kinda giving phoenix the stink eye too but hes just the littlest guy on earth #and phoenix feels bad for him so he tries to get a rundown of the case (maybe edgeworth gave him an autopsy report or smth beforehand) #but get this. the kid still wont speak. he hasnt even moved a muscle. and after some prodding you find out this little dude- #-doesnt speak english (i dont love aa6 but i think apollos tragic backstory can be interesting so we're going w that but taking it seriousl #anyways so maya is like omg this kid is speaking khurainese but hers is kinda broken bc shes not from the mainland and only knows it- #-from like prayers #so you only get bits and pieces of the kids testimony. plus he still doesnt wanna talk bc ''dhurk told me not to talk to you'' #so you start following the new lead but you ask too many questions and apollos like oh shit i said too much and wont talk to you anymore #but now you have two leads: khur'ain and a man named ''dhurk'' plus the fact that this is kid might be new to america since- #-he cant speak english but is smack dab in the middle of california. its all v curious and phoenix wants to get to the bottom of it #for the rest of the case i feel like it would go in the direction of ''we dont know exactly whats up w this dhurk guy or where this kid- #-came from but we do get him acquitted and phoenix is able to save him from the dark path he was heading towards'' thus steering apollo- #-in the direction of law and giving him a wayyyy better reason than aa6 gave him <3 #i kind of like the interlinked nature of ace attorney's storytelling. like everything leads into smth else and everyone is impacted- #-by another person before they even become properly entangled w each other's lives #like how mia faced dahlia years before she met phoenix but dahlia was the one to connect them #or how trucy gave phoenix the diary paper but she's also the one who ropes apollo into the waa. even before they know they're siblings #or how lamoire left apollo and trucy as children and when they reunite as adults they cant recognise each other but they all find each- #-other anyways #i could go on but i think this could be cool yknow esp bc i think the most interesting thing about apollo's aa6 backstory is his life- #-post dhurk. like where did he stay? was he a foster kid? was he put into the system? how did that affect him? what kind of ppl took him in #i just wanna know how that whole thing would have effected him bc like when yiu think about it how did he even get to america?? his dad's #-considered a terrorist. idk man i think its interesting and apollo and dhurks interactions are one of the only good parts of aa6

[pollenallergie]

ignore everything i said back in late may/early june. i was hypomanic and, consequently, unreasonably angry for most of that time. 👍👍👍

#or at least both myself and my therapist hypothesize that i was #this is about all those times i claimed that i could no longer be a fan of a very specific celebrity #i’m not gonna say i agree with everything she did at that time bc i don’t #but also who am i to judge i’ve literally never been in that situation before??? #anyways i was cutting ties left and right with people for no fucking reason back then so um… #i wasn’t exactly stable #i was just itching to be insanely mean to people and i said some shit that i very much regret!!! #saying that i hated/could no longer support said celebrity is definitely not the thing i regret the most… #i mean i literally blocked my aunt and uncle and refused to speak to them for the stupidest reason imagineable #the reason? they sold their house #do/did i have any emotional attachment to that house? nope. they literally only lived there for like two years. #and i’d only been over there like six times during that time??? #so yeah… that’s definitely my biggest regret (esp since i’m still working on mending those relationships) #but like publicly denouncing said celebrity when i actually still really like them is definitely on the list of regrets from that time #like i feel like a flip-flopper but IN MY DEFENSE i was really fucking angry for no reason back then!!

[szczylpierdolony]

i love not taking my meds and then complaining im experiencing symptoms. girl it’s your own fault

#omg why can’t i get out of bed and do things :((( #<————— hasn’t taken antidepressants regularly since like the first half of july #and mind you i started them in july as well #but they weren’t really working i don’t think???? #i started showering more regularly but that’s abt it #but bc of that they don’t feel like it’s worth the hassle #and yes i consider having to remember to take one pill a hassle #and i should call my doctor bc there aren’t many left but i don’t feel like doing that #what’s gonna happen i’ll go and say they didn’t do shit and that’ll be it #ig theres a chance she’ll have me take a higher dose #when i first started going to her and she asked me abt my prev meds and when i told her my dosage #she just went: and it wasn’t suggested you go higher? #which likely didn’t happen bc when asked if just say i was doing ok bc i was ig by my standards #but i think my doctor thought i was functioning which wasn’t the case not really #that’s the issue i think i have no idea what to say to doctors so i just go yeah i’m ok idrk why i’m here #so it never goes anywhere #but they rarely question me either so idk shouldn’t they be trying to see if the suicidal person is being truthful lmao #anyway bc i haven’t been taking the meds regularly i’m now experiencing the fun fucked up heartbeat thing again

[agents-are-dicks]

Me being a bitch (waayyy more drama in tags):

Decided to stop all the petty shit and actually text my cousin to explain things and have an actual conversation and the bitch laughed at me so I’m officially done with her royal highness

#ps. maybe don’t be a bitch to the person who pays for your streaming services 👍 #talking shit about me is fine but my mother?!? sweetie you don’t deserve the nights she’s wasted worrying about you #idk why I’m even explaining things at all #I left her alone for months and then she has to go and acuse me of something I didn’t even know happened #like??? I hadn’t been on Netflix since new years but sure I deleted your Netflix profile but left your Hulu alone #ya figured me out. I’m an evil mastermind *mwhahaha* #and then to drag it out via Netflix names bc you can’t just ducking text me??? #I was trying to be an adult and distance myself and she just drags me back into the drama #at least my mom knows I’m innocent #even tried leaving thing on a positive note via Netflix #told her to text my mother sometime bc (despite me thinking she’d a total bitch) my mom still cares about her #and she had to get all sassy like “she has my number 💅” #yeah and ya know what? you have hers #funny how she uses it to check in on you and you don’t reply till you need something #funny thing is my brother told me she and her baby daddy have been fighting more and more #I hope one day she wakes up and realizes her sucked her dry and now has no one to turn to bc she made sure to bitch them all away #sweetie I tried being there for you but I can’t be there for someone who makes it very clear they wish I was never there in the first place #enjoy tearing your vagina in two for someone you gave up your entire personality for #and before any of y’all come here saying “we’ll if she cut everyone off and made her entire personality about him maybe she’s being abused” #she was in an emotionally fragile state when they met- her mother had just died #and it’s our understand that she decided it was easier to purge herself/life of anything that reminded her of her pain/old life #it’s very evident when you look at her behavior #that being said she’s always been a bitch #I had to stop attending holidays at one point simply bc she didn’t want me there (I was 11) #couldn’t wear her hand-me-downs around her bc she’d make it clear I wasn’t pretty enough to wear them #oh and she tried to fight me in the chilis parking lot after church when I was nine #bc my grandpa opened the car door for me instead of her #amazing how just two years ago I was hoping we could finally be friends

[doggytail-duck]

Watched the MLB movie finally! While I had a few Notes, all in all I enjoyed it, the animation was so pretty and I was really impressed how they condensed so much stuff into one movie

#like sure they changed stuff and moved stuff around #and things were left out (for a possible sequel?) #but as an adaptation it's pretty good i think #if they had tried to cram anything more into One Movie it would've ended up a jumbled mess #i think they made a good choice in doing the origin story and the hawkmoth plot as the main things #and have other adventures as a montage of the heroes growing closer as time goes on #and i feel like marinette was written better than in the show imo #sure it's been a while since i've watched the show so idk what's going on there right now but still #my only Notes tm for the moment are basically how adrien got the ring and how adrinette met #and that's about it #like we should 100% have been SHOWN Why adrien was chosen too and not just Have The Ring Show Up you know? #and i personally really liked the origin story of adrinette being marinette not caring about adrien's money or looks or status #and kind of being like :/// about him because she thinks he's a rich douche #but then finding out how KIND that boy is and THEN starting to fall for him #the movie version was Fine i guess but i would've liked to see the 'oh shit he's actually super nice i was wrong' #it was just so basic 'girl meets boy and falls in love' meet cute and while there isn't anything WRONG with that.. idk #it's just more boring than 'dude you kinda suck - except holy shit you don't? you're really nice?? oh no' #and it made marinette's crush seem different from how everyone fawns over adrien because of his status #otherwise though? can't really think of much to complain about #the songs were a Surprise for sure but i personally didn't mind them i love movie musicals #however there were a bit too many of them maybe? or idk #maybe the songs could've been tweaked a bit to stand out more imo but that's probably more a me thing than anything #hawkmoth's song slapped though lol #i was basically like ??????????? and :DDD at the same time (positive) #also i laughed so fucking hard at the end screen cut lmaooo #anyyyway i'm probably gonna reblog gifsets now bc man the animation was prettyyy #personal #miraculous ladybug #mlb movie

[ienvieu]

the irony that is me loving my parents and still them being the two people i am the least honest to and feel the least safe with my secrets

#today was shit #i pray that tomorrow is better #he knows. he understands. he makes me forget. he probably doesnt even know how seen i feel and how much of a breath of air he is to me #he makes me forget when he's nearby even when he's doing nothing and i feel so so safe that he knows #and he's so kind and is so warm-hearted #he is so tender inside and i have seen him cry more than a few times because of things i dont want to mention #and he doesnt push even when he addresses the elephant in the room and i never feel judged #and i only see him thrice a year for a week each time #and those weeks are the highlights of my year #so bizarre how i feel more cared for by someone i barely see rather than the people who raised me #relapsed awfully aggressively when i was months clean and i feel horrible i kept praying for forgiveness. i feel disgusting #mom would it have killed you to just help me #it's been four hours ever since and since then i was distracted by things i had to do but now #then i had to hang the laundry and not having any distractions and being left with my own thoughts made me spiral again #good lord #i just #i wonder if everyone else feels like dying every day like me. she always says that she struggled too and that she stayed up late manytimes #and i know she had it difficult too but our lives have been so different that our childhoods simply can never be compared and i want to #scream and destroy everything but i cant so i can only destroy my own body and im so helpless idk what to do #tw: mental health #i feel so spiteful and i want to show her everything and scream that she did this to me and that it's all her fault #but i love her too much to hurt her like that. it would kill her. #and ig it's all my fault for being a horrible being and for being a failure and turning out ill like this. i just dont know anymore #i think i had an episode of psychotic rage again. everywhere hurts but i still cant get the ugly feeling in me go away

[chisatowo]

Slight Flutter dust redesign!

Bonus forbidden Flutter dust eyes

#keese draws #oc posting #oc art #oc #ocs #girlie who is sooo normal (lying) #for context on her eyes when ari was beheaded and the council tried to extract its power it didn’t quite work out as it pretty much #immediately tried to find a new vessel as soon as they crossed into their home world #it didn’t immediately because ari wasn’t technically fully dead so it was ready to go back to them if they lived #but since it was fully cut off it just moved to its next random child around the right age #which happened to be flutter dust in this case #this sort of power is not at all the sort of thing the folk of this world are built to handle so flutter dust had a pretty rough time #she generally just had a hard time controlling it and she was stuck with the ever present fear of being labeled a threat and disposed of #now somewhat luckily for her with magic becoming more common she wasn’t immediately clocked as the person who inherited this power #but she was still under threat by local government and after her mom mysteriously died her paranoia got to her and she ran away from home #she would have been around 10 at the time so she was very much. not equipt to handle all the shit she was going through #pretty early on she ran into a teen who had also ran away from home for magic related reasons and the two ended up sticking together #they both fed into each others paranoia a Lot and while they genuinely cared abt each other the teen was. not the best person #he was incredibly controlling and spiteful and saw flutter as the only support he had left and treated her as such despite her being a Child #he himself was like 15 but still not at all an excuse #flutter dust and daisy actually met when they were like 11-12 so like abt 3 years before their main stories start #the two rly got along and would go pick plants and look for bugs and such #but after the teen found out he freaked the fuck out over it thinking daisy would report them both (he was 11 reminder) #and he threatened daisy in front of flutter dust and forced flutter to promise to not see him again #abt 2 years after that the guy started to get way more impulsive and that meshed poorly with his general spitefullness and protectiveness #flutter dust at this point was getting rly scared of him especially with how much more powerful his magic was getting #and in a desperate attempt to keep her only friend tried to confront him which lead to a huge argument that got violent #she tried to use her magic to take one of his magic focuses away from him but accidentally badly injured him the the process #this caused her to freak the fuck out and run away and swear to herself to never use her magic again #that didn’t rly work out though as her magic wasn’t built to be contained and this elad to sharp finding her ad taking her in