This has been niggling in my mind since the post by @e-does-witchcraft. IYKYK
Me as things said by TUA characters:
1. Luther
2. Diego
3. Allison
4. Klaus
5. Five
6. Ben
7. Viktor
Bonus - Sparrow!Ben
Bonus 2.0 - Lila
PS if I didn't credit your gif, let me know!
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
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Aspec men deserve much more respect and recognition in the aspec community than they receive. They often face a different form of aphobia specific to them ("men are naturally sexual they can't be ace" "all men are unromantic that's not unique") this rhetoric is spouted by many, even members of our own community and I hope for a day where that is no longer the case. As an ace and demiro woman (demigirl but that's beside the point) I want to encourage folks to take the time to give the aspec men in their lives support and to the aspec men reading, you are who you say you are no matter what people say and you deserve the world. I'm sorry for the ways in which toxic masculinity has harmed you. You are a valued member of the aspec community and the queer community as a whole. No ace or aro person is broken and neither are you. I'm sorry if anyone has ever told you otherwise.
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my ass could never survive a saw trap with my processing disorders like, sorry mr. saw what did you say after 'I want to play a game' I couldn't understand
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I cannot get FitMC's voice yelling "sneeg shut up I'm doing gay roleplay right now" out of my head. If I had to show one QSMP clip to the average FitMC YouTube viewer it would be that one
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I don't see posts all that often about it though I'm sure they exist and are worded much better than this, but an integral part of destigmatizing disability is destigmatizing disability you find personally gross.
People with full bowel incontinence. People that drool. People that stim by picking their nose or eating their hair and skin. People that can't shower or bathe without help, if they shower or bathe at all. And while I hate to put them on this list, I've seen how they've been talked about, obese people are included.
These people are just as deserving of respect and accomodations as any other disabled person.
As this post leaves my tumblr bubble please, if you live in the United States, sign this petition to update the ADA's accessibility guidelines to include mandatory companion restrooms with adult changing tables.
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????.??? - PUBLIC
Big Sis Moon, Five Pebbles, Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment
BSM: I have put Ruffles into a little costume! Aren't they adorable!
FP: It is a pleasant surprise to see you taking part in events that used to be celebrated by our creators.
FP: And yes, the costume is adorable.
SRS: Putting our companions into costumes is a nice idea. I think I'll try that as well!
BSM: Oh dear.
NSH: Hah!
BSM: I am going to remove the costume now. Ruffles looks... uncomfortable.
SRS: The messenger looks quite charming all dressed up!
BSM: Aww!
NSH: I've found a costume. I'm gonna try putting it on the beast... Wish me luck...
FP: Shall I join in on the festivities as well?
FP: I doubt I will have much luck concidering the uncooperative behaviour of the Ruffian.
BSM: You should try!
NSH: HAHAHA!
NSH: Look at this thing!
NSH: Agh! It's biting!
SRS: Oh my.
FP: This is not going very well.
FP: It is growling at me very loudly.
NSH: Come on! You can do it!
NSH: Don't be scared Pebbsi ~
FP: You are not helping. And do not call me that.
BSM: Please be careful...
FP: Well then. That did not go as planned.
BSM: Oh no!
NSH: Well there goes the Overseer!
SRS: Perhaps you should refrain from attempting to dress it up again.
FP: I agree.
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