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#things have gotten worse since we last spoke
daydreaming-nerd · 3 days
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Young Love and Old Money (Cassian x Female! Reader)
AN: Sorry  I’ve been a little MIA recently. I was pretty busy last week, but I’m back now and I’m so excited to be writing this series! 
Summary: She was the most beautiful woman in Prythian, sister to the High Lord of Night, and now she is the soon-to-be wife of Eris Vanserra. Despite her many titles and her aura of unattainability, Cassian can't help but fall deeply in love with the princess of the Night Court. But will it be enough to stop her impending wedding to a man who is sure to destroy her from the inside out?
Warnings: Sexisim, trauma from under the mountain, Rhys isn’t the nicest in this but he has his reasons. 
Word Count: 3,458
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As I sauntered down the hallway towards my brother's study, I couldn’t help but feel my palms sweat and my heart race. It was the first time he had ‘summoned’ me in such a manner since we had escaped from under the mountain. That was a year ago, and ever since we made it back to Velaris he had been different. Colder. Not that I could ever fault him. Rhysand and I’s time under the mountain was grueling, but it was far worse for him. First he sacrificed his freedom to save Velaris, then he sacrificed his body to save me. 
My whole life I had been told I beheld a beauty that was otherworldly. However, I had no powers to go alone with my looks. Once I got older rumors across Prythain grew of two siblings of night. Rhysand, who would be the most powerful High Lord to ever grace the land, and me, his younger sister who was born without magic but given the most coveted gift of all. Some even said that Rhysand stole my magic away in our mothers womb, making him the most powerful high fae alive and leaving me with nothing but a pretty face. 
At first I loathed the idea of being powerless, but I soon realized the power my beauty had over others. High Lord’s begged for my hand left and right, males of reason and education would lose all inhibition around me. I quickly became The Jewel of Prythain, a name that was used far more often than my own. The second Rhysand and I’s mother and father realized that, they locked me away. Me and my virtue were far too good a bargaining chip to be let loose into the world. At first it was jarring, having all my freedoms taken away. But Rhys would always come home and tell me the tales of him and his new friends Cassian and Azriel. In a way I got to live through him and I was forever thankful for it. 
When our parents died Rhys gave me more freedom but I neglected to take them. I became close with our cousin Mor and even spent time with his friends Cassian and Azriel, but that was the extent of it.   I had grown so used to living in solitude that I didn’t long for much more. His time as High Lord was short lived, soon after the death of our parents Amarantha came into power and Rhys was to be taken under the mountain. As the princess of the night court, I had no other option but to go with him, or risk Velaris. 
The second we were down there Amarantha sunk her claws into him. Rhys fought and resisted her, and for a few weeks he had been able to keep her at arms length. All of that changed when Hybern came to check on the state of things. He took one look at me and ordered Amarantha to hand me over to him, to be his whore. I had never been so scared in my life, and I had no idea what to do. Rhys spoke up and told Amarantha that if she kept me safe he would go to her bed willingly. It was enough for her to spare me, but it never spared me from the grief of knowing what Rhys was putting himself through to protect me. 
50 years came and went until we were finally free from under the mountain. I remember the smell of night blooming jasmine gracing my nose as Rhys winnowed us home. Mor was the first to greet us, then Amren. Finally Cassian and Azriel flew to the townhouse and the sight of all of our old friends was almost unreal. As I watched them all embrace us, my eyes couldn’t help but float to Cassian. Had he gotten taller since I last saw him? Bigger muscles? More handsome? 
After settling in Rhys changed. He was harsher, colder, no doubt the things he experienced under the mountain still plaguing him. He stayed in the townhouse while I took up residency in The House of Wind, both of us needing time to ourselves to process what had happened. 
I had lived in the House of Wind for a year now, only seeing my brother once a month for family dinners, and I suppose today.  I approached his office doors and knocked quietly.
“Come in,” his voice boomed, more High Lordly than I had ever heard before. 
I step in the door and shut it quietly. For what reason? I’m not sure, there was just something about this new Rhys that made me feel so small, especially now. 
“You wanted to see me?” I ask my brother, standing before his desk. 
“Yes I did,”  he started, sifting through papers. “I wanted to tell you that I finally read fathers will and there’s something in it that concerns you,”  he says. 
“What?” I ask in disbelief. While our father wasn’t a cruel man he never paid much attention to me, focusing all his attention on Rhys, his male heir.  
“He has it written in his will that he struck a deal with Beron and Eris Vanserra years ago.” Rhys says sliding a paper over to me. “The Autumn Court will give us their armies if you marry Eris.”
I glance at the paper Rhys has handed me. Sure enough in fathers hand writing is a contract signed by all three parties. An agreement I was never told about until now. 
“Hybern is on the move and Azriel say’s that he will dock on our shores when he arrives. I think now is as good as ever to call in the contract.” he states leaning back in his leather chair. 
“You want me to marry Eris?” I ask, hoping it wasn’t true. I knew very little of the Prince of Autumn, except that he was a sadistic brute who had a way with women. 
“Not just me sister,” Rhysand drawls sensing a fight. “It was our fathers will as well. I have every intention of finishing what he started. We leave tomorrow for the Autumn Court. You will meet Eris, and Beron and I will go over the details once more.”
Part of me boils at the idea of what my brother is saying but then I remember why our mother and father locked me up. Why every High Lord thirsted for me under the mountain. I could still hear their voices uttering, “There’s The Jewel of Prythian” and, “The most beautiful female of Prythain,” completed with, “I heard that Rhysand stole her power in the womb leaving her with nothing but her beauty” 
This was my fate from the moment I came of age. A bargaining chip to whatever High Lord or Prince was willing to pay the most for. I wanted to scream and cry and beg Rhys not to make me do this. But then I thought of  all he sacrificed for me under the mountain. I could do this for him.
“Then I’m excited to meet him brother,” I said, giving a fake smile. 
“I was hoping you’d say that,” Rhys smiled, the tension from his shoulders dissipating at my words of cooperation. “You are dismissed to begin preparations for tomorrow.” 
I nod my head and take it as my queue to leave his office. The second the double oak doors close I feel my heartrate pick up and I’m suddenly dying for a breath of fresh air. I walk quickly to the front door, my dress billowing behind me as I try to keep my tears from falling. I sit down on the front steps of the townhouse and let the spring air blow across my face. My tears fell slowly but surely as I let all my composure go. 
My mind raced with thoughts of Eris, all the terrible things I had heard of him over the many years. How other High Lords were terrified of the day Beron passed and Eris took his place. If they were terrified of him as a ruler, how scared should I be to have him as a husband? 
A shadow slammed into the ground outside the townhouse pulling me from my thoughts. I tried to wipe my tears away and act like nothing was wrong, but I knew better than to think I could fool my Spymaster for one moment. 
“Hey are you okay? What’s wrong?” Azriel cooed. Azriel and I had gotten close since I came back from under the mountain as he and Cassian also lived in the House of Wind. He had taken on the role of big brother since Rhys was battling his own demons. 
“I just got done talking to Rhys,” I sniffled, feeling the large Illyrian sit next to me. “He says I have to marry Eris.” 
“Vanserra?” Azriel clarified and I nodded. “He can’t be serious, Eris is a monster.” 
“Apparently our father had it arranged years ago, but I didn’t know about it till now. We’re going to the Autumn Court to meet him tomorrow.” I explain,  wiping my eyes. 
“Well I guess that explains why Rhys called me down. Do you want me to talk to him? Maybe I can stop this.” Azriel says, taking my hand in his. 
“No it’s okay. Rhys is right, war is coming and if this marriage can protect you and Cassian as well as our people then I’ll do it. Besides, Rhys sacrificed so much to keep me safe under the mountain, I owe it to him to do this.” I sigh, feeling my breathing calm down as Azriel rubs circles on my hand. 
“You shouldn’t have to sacrifice yourself for Velaris and you shouldn’t be trying to even the score with Rhys. Rhys did what he did because you’re his little sister and he loves you, not because he wanted an IOU,” Azriel explains, continuing to rub circles on the tops of my hands. His scared and calloused hands soothing me. 
“Maybe, but I’m going to do it anyway. I won’t let this city down or my brother,” I say, taking a deep breath. 
“Then you are the bravest princess I know,” Azriel says, kissing my brow. “Not that I haven’t always known.”
“Thanks Az,” I smile, bumping my shoulder into him. 
“I’m sure this meeting won’t be very long, want me to fly you home when I’m done?” Azriel asks.
“That would be great, thank you,” I smile, even though my eyes are still glassed over. 
With that Azriel went inside to talk to Rhys, leaving me outside to take in the fresh air. I sat watching the people of Velaris going about their daily lives. Couples holding hands on the Sidra, children playing in the streets. I couldn’t help but wonder if the Autumn Court would have a place like this, and even though I was still here I couldn’t help but feel a bit of prophetic homesickness. 
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The next morning was full of primping and trying on a million gowns. Rhys had sent ​​Nuala and Cerridwen to make sure that I was groomed to perfection. Even though they had taken hours I couldn’t help but fuss over every detail while looking in the mirror in the living room of the townhouse. After I  made sure that the pins holding in my crown were secure I smoothed my hands over my dress a million times, trying to wipe the sweat from my palms. 
“You look beautiful,” crooned a deep voice. 
I nearly jumped out of my skin, bumping into the table under the mirror and knocking over a vase. I turn to find Cassian standing next to me, red siphons faintly glowing and looking handsome as ever. 
“Sorry I didn’t mean to startle you,” he smiled, picking up the vase and turning it back upright. 
“It’s okay,” I smile. “It’s my fault for being so lost in thought.”
“Everyone ready?” Rhysand asks stepping into the room where Cassian, Azriel and I have been waiting for him. 
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I sigh, stepping towards him so he can winnow us to the Autumn Court. 
The second we arrive I’m greeted with a cold chill running up and down my arms. The smell of wet leaves and woodsmoke surrounds me, and if I wasn’t being brought here to be sold off like cattle I might even say that I liked this place. Rhys led me up the stairs to the palace, Azriel flanking Rhysand’s side while Cassian flanked mine. The closeness of him almost made my skin buzz with excitement. I mentally slapped myself, reminding my brain that I was about to meet my future husband.
The palace of the Autumn Court is beautiful to say the least. The marble floors are bathed in amber light from the various chandeliers that hang from the ceiling and swaths of deep red and golden fabrics are all over the rooms. A set of large oak double doors opens before us and I’m greeted to the sight of Beron Vanserra sitting atop his throne, his eldest son Eris standing at his side. 
Eris was tall and lean. His eyes were like molten fire and his mouth turned up at the sight of me. If I didn’t know a thing about his character I would’ve said he was handsome. The throne room was intimidating and I couldn’t help but notice that only one throne sat atop the dias. Apparently The Autumn Court didn’t believe in High Lady’s.
“Rhysand, welcome to my court,” Beron greeted us, stepping down to walk towards Rhys. 
“We are honored to be invited,” Rhysand smiled with a charm that only he could possess. 
“This must be your sister y/n,” Beron smiled. “Step forward girl.” 
I wasn’t sure if Beron’s voice was like a spell that propelled me forward or if I was just so scared my body was acting on instinct. But the second the command left his mouth I took two steps toward him. 
“Very nice,” Beron drawled as circled me like prey making my cheeks burn with embarrassment. “I see that all the stories of her beauty are true. Can you vouch for her purity, Rhysand?” 
“I can assure you that she remains untouched,” Rhys says and bile nearly rises in my throat.
“Wonderful,” Beron claps his hands together. “Eris why don’t you and y/n take a stroll around the terrace while Rhysand and I finalize the details.” 
“With pleasure father,” Eris says, stepping down from the dias towards me taking my hand in his. “You are even more beautiful than the stories say,” he smiles, pressing a kiss to my hand. 
“You flatter me Prince Eris,” I smile, allowing him to lead me outside. 
“I’ve been told that flattery is one of my many talents,” he smirks as the fresh Autumn air hits my face. 
We walk until we reach the bannister of the terrace. I lean against it, peering out over the valley below us. Bright bursts of reds, oranges and yellows flow throughout the land, the setting sun making the scene picture perfect. 
“Over there are the kennels where I keep my hounds,” Eris tells me, pointing to a large red barn off to the left. 
“That’s right, I’ve heard you’re a magnificent hunter,” I smile, craning my neck to see more of the barn. 
“It’s true, I’ve been hunting for years. I’ve tried thousands of other hobbies but nothing gives me quite the thrill that hunting does,” he explains and I can sense the double meaning in his words. 
“What’s that over there?” I ask, pointing to a patch of land riddled with targets, bows, swords and what appears to be a fighting ring. 
“That, my dear, is where my brothers and I train, and that’s where our sons will train once they can wield a sword,” he explains and his words make me sick. 
“And if we have a daughter?” I tease trying to keep the conversation light. 
“Then she will be a pretty little wall ornament for a future High Lord, just like you are,” he says brushing a hand down my bare arm. “But know this, you will bear me a son.” he growls and it feels like an order.
I swallow hard trying to keep the tension rolling through my body from gracing my face, “Of course my prince,” I say turning towards him. 
From the corner of my eye I see Cassian leaning against the door watching the two of us, and I wonder if he has been here the whole time. 
“Who are you?” Eris sneers. 
Cassian straightens up, a playful glint in his eye, “I'm merely the humble guardian of your future wall ornament, ensuring she remains as exquisite as she is now." He says with a charming smile that would normally bring me to my knees. Instead it was taking everything in me not to laugh. 
Eris’ jaw ticks at Cassian’s tone but he remains ever the calm and collected prince he was brought up to be. “Very well then.” was all he could say before we were interrupted by my brother and Beron. 
“Look at them, they already make a very handsome couple,” Beron says to Rhysand. 
“I can’t argue with that,” Rhysand smiles. “Come sister we’re going home, you and Eris will have time to talk later this week.” 
I don’t argue or ask questions as I am dying to get out of this wretched palace as soon as possible. I bid my goodbyes to Eris and take my brother's hand as he leads me out of the palace and winnows us away. It isn’t until the scent of jasmine fills the air that I let myself finally take a deep breath. I barely have a moment to think before Rhys speaks up. 
“Things went well, but Eris has asked for the contract to be changed,” Rhysand states. 
“In what way?” I ask, fearing the worst. 
“He wishes for you two to court for a month, if at the end of that month he finds you agreeable you will become his wife,” Rhys states.
In a way part of me is relieved, if at the end of the month Eris decides he doesn’t want me anymore I’m free. Free from this marriage, free to stay home with my family.  
“Then I guess I’ll have to continue to spark his interest,” I say, my words betraying me.
“Precisely,” Rhys nods. “Azriel come with me I have a mission to discuss with you, Cassian fly y/n to The House of Wind.” 
“On it boss,” Cassian replies jokingly, turning to me. “Ready to go?” he asks me.
“More than you know,” I sigh, tossing my arms around his frame and letting him fly me out of the townhouse. 
I had always loved flying, I remember when Rhys first summoned his wings and was learning how to use them. He would come home with cuts and bruises all over him that Madja had to clean up. She always joked that he spent more time being bandaged up than he did in the air. But the day that Rhys finally learned how to fly he rushed to tell me all about it. Later that night he snuck me out of the townhouse and took me on a flight around the city. I had never felt so free in my life. 
I felt the same way now as the wind whipped my hair behind me, Cassian’s warmth seeping through my clothes keeping me from getting cold. I tried to not breathe in his scent of cedar and leather, but with my face so close to his neck it was hard to ignore. 
A sudden gust of wind had us blowing sideways and I gripped his neck tighter, peering down at how far the drop would be. 
Cassian chuckled, “Don’t worry princess I got you,” he assured me, holding my body a little closer to his own just to ease my worries. 
“I know you do,” I laugh nervously, trying to act unaffected. 
“Are you sure? Because you’re still gripping my neck like you’re going to topple out of my arms.” Cassian chuckles again. 
I loosen my tight grip,  feeling embarrassed. “Sorry,” I murmur, trying to cover my blushing cheeks. 
“No need to apologize,” he laughs, touching down on the balcony outside of the living room.
“Thanks for taking me home,” I say softly, turning towards the door. 
“Of course, anytime,” he smiles before taking off into the sky again. 
I watch his form disappear into the clouds and as I make my way into my room I can’t help but long for that smell of cedar and leather.
Part 2  
Taglist: @crystalferret202, @nickishadow139 ,  @graceshifts , @writeroutoftime , @heyyitsnat21,
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bartskull · 8 months
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consumption (or lack of) as an expression of love
(the gun song, car seat headrest / bones and all, 2022 / things have gotten worse since we last spoke, eric larocca / beach life-in-death, car seat headrest / bones and all, 2022 / famous last words, ethel cain / things have gotten worse since we last spoke, eric larocca / the gun song, car seat headrest)
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weaver-z · 11 months
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I know I already made a post critical of Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke, but I feel mean today and I want it to be said: Eric LaRocca's writing style is fucking insufferable for horror
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lunavastro · 6 months
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lesbian movies are either the most boring 2 hours of your life or fucked up psychological horror
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autoneurotic · 4 months
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‘You can’t play the “gracious host” forever […] This is what you wanted, after all.’
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medeaaasworld · 9 days
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I remember reading Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke for the first time. Can't say it's excessively disturbing, although, some parts still left me deeply affected.
I highlighted a few quotes, and as I went to reread them years later, it occurred to me how similar they sound to what Neil would say.
The mother-hurting-to-protect-thing
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The eyes—what have you done to deserve them, Nathaniel, my greatest disappointment?
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The "funeral for my former self"
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And feeling more like myself when talking to you, because you are amazing! You're amazing, and it's always yes, and you know that I'd give you anything—
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And Neil—after so many years running and hiding and keeping to himself—remembering that he has teeth too
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I couldn't not write. It was my first fic in English, and I'm rather proud of it no matter what
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"At the end of each day, he used to ask me, 'what have you done today to deserve your eyes?'"
Clementine von Radics Mouthful of Forevers, from "That Spring Everything Grew Wild and the Rain Came Down Like Punishment" / @/haraiva (tumblr) / Mitski A Burning Hill / Sophokles Elektra, from "An Oresteia: Agamemnon by Aiskhylos; Elektra by Sophokles; Orestes by Euripides" (tr. Anne Carson) / @/jovialtorchlight (tumblr) / Gillian Flynn Dark Places / Eric LaRocca Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke / unknown
i. Clementine von Radics Mouthful of Forevers [ "What no one ever talks about is how dangerous hope can be. Call it forgiveness with teeth." ]
ii. @/haraiva [ Three-paneled comic colored in with crayons. The first panel is the largest. It shows the perspective of the windshield of a car. The second and third panels are smaller than the first and overlap slightly. The second shows rocks by the beach. The third shows a small figure looking up at a mountain range. "I'M SORRY I LEFT SO SUDDENLY / BUT / I MADE UP MY MIND SO LONG AGO !!!" ]
iii. Mitski A Burning Hill [ "I am a forest fire / and I am the fire / and I am the forest / and I am a witness watching it" ]
iv. Sophokles Elektra [ "I am the shape you made me. / Filth teaches filth." ]
v. @/jovialtorchlight [ A pencil sketch of a dog's face. "you made it. you're home. / just as you left it. there's a box / of your favorite cereal / in the cupboard. / your favorite soda is in the fridge. / your favorite movie / is in the VCR. / your safe bed is / made and waiting for you. / this was the final test / and you passed. you can rest now." ]
vi. Gillian Flynn Dark Places [ "I was not a loveable child, and I'd grown into a deeply unloveable adult. Draw a picture of my soul, and it's be a scribble with fangs." ]
vii. Eric LaRocca Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke [ "People like to eat other people. I spent so many years forgetting I had teeth, too." ]
ix. unknown [ Two printed images of a woman. The first shows her holding the side of her face, staring at the camera. The second is head-on and shows her looking down and clutching her head. "HAVE DRUGS STOPPED WORKING ?" ]
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Have you read...
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Sadomasochism. Obsession. Death. A whirlpool of darkness churns at the heart of a macabre ballet between two lonely young women in an internet chat room in the early 2000s—a darkness that threatens to forever transform them once they finally succumb to their most horrific desires. What have you done today to deserve your eyes?
submit a horror book!
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fluoxetinegreen444 · 1 year
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Booktok bitches be like "most horrifying books I've read" and it's just an accurate description of mental illness 🙃
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nightmaresonelmstreet · 3 months
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This is genuinely a hilarious way of describing this book
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cator99 · 10 months
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Poorly written. Amateurish. Lacking in any substance. Best character was the tapeworm baby. I wish people would stop hyping up boring shit like this by calling it Problematic and So Fucked Up when the most it deserves is a shoulder shrug and a momentary pause to wonder how such an inadequate author could elicit any sort of response at all, let alone one of shock and appall. If I was this author, I would feel embarassed knowing I published such an incompetent piece of work.
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weirdcat1213 · 2 months
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im so sad that someone on instagram didnt know what body horror was and they made me go into the book with expectations :c
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bunni-bonez · 3 months
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Tbh in the days since reading things have gotten worse since was last spoke I’ve been ruminating a lot and I think my final conclusion is just….idk it has good ideas but no teeth. Like the concepts were pretty interesting, esp the tapeworm as birth thing. The ending with Agnes and the tapeworm really did hit hard for me for personal reasons. It’s sad certainly. But also it really doesn’t carry the shock that larocca wants it to. Not to mention Agnes’ whole desire for motherhood came out of nowhere. Idk it could have benefitted from slower pacing, and an actually good conclusion. Everything moved too fast, and I think if we sat with the couple, the slow descent would be more effective. Not to mention if they, I don’t know, descended into literally anything. It felt weak, and made it so Agnes’ death felt kinda random and anticlimactic. The only moments where larocca puts any amount of horror into the book is when Agnes is describing things OTHER PEOPLE have done. It’s not even a part of the plot!!! Idk maybe I went in with the wrong expectation. I’d been told it would be like toxic and fucked up and brutal. But instead it was just some cool concepts delivered in a very unsatisfying package
also like larocca is really bad at making these emails sound real good lord
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weaver-z · 1 year
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Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke is just mediocre shock fiction that would make a decent r/nosleep story. I don't feel like I completely wasted my time reading it, but if all your book has going for it is a very poorly-written lesbian relationship and gross-out horror, the gross-out horror needs to be REALLY good. Also, the two leads write emails in the exact same tryhard way. Not every shade of red mentioned in the book needs to be compared to an artery or an organ in lengthy purple prose by both characters, holy shit.
Also, it frankly feels weird that a nb gay guy would write from the point of view of a lesbian character whose primary motivation (which is brought up out of nowhere) is... to have a baby, and specifically to be pregnant. This story and the dynamic of the central characters would have made so much more sense as a heterosexual relationship, and it would have left less of a bad taste in my mouth (and I say this as a lesbian).
Anyway, I'd give it a 5/10. It was completely average. If you want an actually disgusting and scary horror novel involving a tapeworm, pick up The Troop by Nick Cutter.
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svampira · 1 year
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something's wrong :(
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autoneurotic · 8 months
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still very really right for this one
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