#things then you’re going to constantly think negative thoughts

[shmpxx]

HE’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND — y.o

⛤ yuuta okkostu x fem! reader

How else would yuuta react if you denied your relationship in front of everyone? You obviously weren’t gonna be let off easy.

cw. smut. (kinda) exes to lovers-ish. thigh riding. semi-public sex. library sex. dry humping. oral (f. receiving). groping. marking. pet names (princess). face grabbing. slight manhandling. +18!

wc: 1.1k

a/n: yall i got a full time job and I’m doing school and i really want to post my fics more bc i love sharing my writing and hopefully this doesn’t sound rushed lol.

“He’s not my boyfriend!”

You practically had to shout it out loud for it to be known. How many times did you have to say it to get through Maki’s skull as she was constantly teasing you about how you and Yuuta used to act like two middle schoolers in love, laughing about it in front of everyone.

You wanted to craddle yourself into a ball hearing it all made you remember the soft moments you had together and then made you cringe about it in every being of your body.

You held hands and tried to catch the perfect moment to kiss but was too anxious to, spent everyday together before he left, he promised to send a call, text or at least email and now he’s back, decides to act all cool, his attitude changes only slightly like he’s all that now, he had fixed his hair to side and his demeanor turns cold. Everything about him and his current presence ticked you off. He didn’t have to stay. You wished he’d go back.

Did you really wish that? Or did you need him to trap you in the darkest aisle of a library where he caught you. Whispering in your ear to take all those awful words you said back while he’s pinning you against the tall shelf, his pelvis is rocking against yours, his lips ambushing your neck. He’s just kissing you and touching you all over, making sure you don’t escape him either. He’s squeezing your tits a bit too hard, leaving too many hickeys.

“Can we just take a moment—“

“Why should we?” his hot breath hitting the shell of your ear, traveling down your jawline. His hand squishing the sides of your cheeks to turn your head to the side to gain access to your neck. You could feel his wet muscle and his warm lips glide over your skin, his hand on the back of your ass, squeezing it and also pulling you more into him.

The slight change in yuuta was quite scary, he wasn’t as soft as he used to be. He’s leaving marks and his hips are moving recklessly. He knows it will be so much better if he could take your clothes off and be bare already to fuck you like he is your boyfriend, you’re all his.

He guides his leg between your legs under your skirt, his thigh grazing your covered cunt and his hands situated on your hips to rock you against his thigh.

“Didn’t you think it hurt my feelings when you said that in front of everyone?”

You couldn’t look him in the eyes knowing his eyes bore into you, he was looking for an apologetic look from you but you were too distracted by looking down watching as he was driving your hips to desperately drag on his thigh. He was pressing his leg harder into you making you finally let out out moan. The shame you felt when you realized you were in a public place making such noise.

“I was just telling the truth..hah…” your tone with half of regret and moans by yuuta forcing your hips to grind on him, your clit throbbing from the harsh friction and you’re already leaving a damp on his leg.

The way your words were set in annoyance and anger like you truly disregard the fact that you and yuuta never had a thing going on and this frustrates yuuta when he replays how you yelled that he wasn’t your boyfriend.

“I am your boyfriend, i just wanna make sure you don’t forget that princess” He pulls down your bottoms and he’s on his knees with his hands on the sides of your thighs like he’s kneeling to an angel which you were to him and you never thought so with all the built of negativity you had towards him.

“Alright i get it—“

He doesn’t think you do, he wants you to understand that you were his and he was yours. Why would he stop here? He’s already pulling down your underwear and your anxiety strikes at you when he gives your pussy a gentle kiss and you gave out a yelp, you kept your eye down the aisle to see if people would pass by. Your hand is slightly hovering over your mouth, so you’re still emitting small moans.

“C-come on yuuta—quit it already..ah!” You would rather move somewhere with more privacy though yuuta doesn’t care a place, he was too busy making out with your cunt now, his tongue flicked and sucked on your clit.

And it was not enough for him he had to prop your legs on his shoulders that your back pressed against the shelf of books more and you gasp by the sudden feeling of being weightless with your feet off the ground and yuuta buries his lips, his tongue to eat you out.

You cursed under your breath not knowing where to put your hands, you wanted to support yourself to not fall though yuuta would never let that happen and yet also drown in bliss with your hands gripping his black locks. the anxiousness and the pleasure clouding your mind at the same time.

Your trying your best to keep it down and your constant repeated pleas. Yuuta was lapping his tongue from the outside of your walls to your clit and something ignited deep in the pits of your stomach that just made you push your hips further into his face. It doesn’t seem like he was gonna stop anytime, he was so focused his eyes were shut thinking about how good you taste and how he had never got the chance before. he can tell that your twitching to cum soon and your sobs getting a little louder.

“Gonna cum! Gonna cum! Gonna cum!” You squealed, your legs wrapped around the back of his neck and your heels digged into his back, your spine arching off of the shelf and your eyelids flutter.

“Cum on my mouth princess, I’m all yours…” the way his voice melted your heart all over again, causing butterflies to fly in your tummy, made your orgasm come faster but also made you feel shamed and entirely hate it for feeling this way.

The moan of his name being let out so indecently that people might hear or probably did. Feeling the waves of you cumming flow through your body and his mouth hasn’t yet disconnected from you.

Yuuta looks up at you like this was just the beginning. You’re forced to wrap your arms around his neck when his hands comes under behind your knees, you still had no chance of keeping your feet on the floor. He’s already planning to fuck you with the zip of his pants and his cock freeing out, make you cry out a million times repeatedly that your his and he’s yours.

Now you’re gonna have to take everything you said back.

#jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk yuta #jjk yuuta #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yuuta okkotsu smut #yuuta smut #yuta okkotsu smut #yuta x y/n #yuta okkotsu x reader #yuta x reader #yuta smut #yuuta x reader #yuta okkotsu

[csuitebitches]

Fearless Social Confidence: Strategies to Live Without Fear, Speak Without Insecurity, Beat Social Anxiety, and Stop Caring What Others Think - Patrick King book notes

Socially confident people:

expect to be accepted. When they meet strangers, they expect to make a good impression. They never approach situations thinking, “What if they don’t like me?” Instead they think, “I hope I like them.”

evaluate themselves positively. Socially confident people are encouraging, positive, and accepting of themselves. They give themselves leeway not to be perfect and don’t beat themselves up too harshly when they are not.

feel comfortable around superiors. Socially confident people feel comfortable because they don’t feel threatened, or that their flaws and vulnerabilities will be highlighted by the other person’s qualities.

With a lack of social confidence, you are usually choosing the thought that is cruelest to yourself.

when navy SEALs recognize that they are feeling overwhelmed, they regain control by focusing on their breath—breathing in for four seconds, holding for four seconds, and then out for four seconds, and repeating until you can feel your heart rate slow down and normalize.

Core beliefs: 

Steps in a thought diary entry can be arranged in the easy-to-remember A-C-B format—

Activating Event. Note down the event/ situation. This is simply the origin point of your emotional change. It’s whatever caused your emotional status to change from calm to agitation (a memory, a song, etc).

Consequences. In this step you identify the specific emotions and sensations that arose. These could be simple feeling words— “anxious,” “unhappy,” “sickened,” “panicky,” “melancholy,” “confused,” and so forth.

Beliefs. This is where the action begins. How do you link the activating event with the consequences? What unconscious narrative or story about yourself was told to achieve the consequence? (“What was I thinking?”  “What was going through my head when this happened?”  “What’s wrong with that?”“What does this all mean?”  “What does it reveal about me?”)

Now you’ve gotten to the bottom of your situation and figured out what your core beliefs are.

The first step is writing down one of the core beliefs you’ve just uncovered. Ask yourself what experiences you’ve had that prove your core belief wasn’t always true. Generate as many experiences as you can and be very specific about what happened.

Write down the core belief you’re examining.  Think of ways that you can put that belief to the test. These are actual tasks that you can perform.  Then, write down what you expect or predict will happen after conducting these tasks if your core belief was true.  Perform the tasks.  Write down what really happened after you completed your task.  Compare and contrast your predictions with what actually happened. Finally, document what you learned from the task and come up with a new, more reasonable core belief that goes in line with your discoveries.

Bushman’s results imply that sometimes the best course of action after being provoked to anger is to just sit quietly and let it pass.

There’s a direct link between social anxiety and negativity. A 2016 Australian research study showed that “elevated social anxiety vulnerability is characterized only by facilitated attentional engagement with socially negative information.” Obsessing over negative details—including by constantly talking about one’s problems—only reinforces one’s social fears and does nothing to inspire real confidence in a social setting.

Personalization is the mother of guilt. In the cognitive distortion of personalizing, you feel responsible for events that cannot conceivably be your fault. While it is admirable to take responsibility for your actions, there are things completely out of your control: the subway schedule, other people’s actions, and a million day-to-day factors.

Common cues of overgeneralization are “always” and “never.” When starting a sentence or a thought with “always” or “never,” consider whether you have the experience or evidence to back up the statement.

Other people aren't only what they are showing to the world. Most people put on a good show. But do you really know what might be going on in their private life? Take comfort from the fact that while there will be many people who are better at certain things than you are, there are also most certainly things that you will be better at.

If you are self-conscious and worried that people will judge you if you say something stupid or “off,” there's an easy workaround to that. The best approach is simple preparation. Create answers to predictable questions and conversations. Run that mental videotape in your mind about your past 10, 20, or 30 social conversations. I guarantee they are not all that different from each other.

Figure out the general questions that people will ask and the topics that will come up in normal conversation and be prepared with story-answers. For example, How was your weekend? What are you doing this weekend? How was your day? What do you do for work?

How can we ease ourselves into social confidence little by little? 

List the social situations you avoid. Ask yourself what kinds of gatherings or circumstances you steer clear of and write them all down in a list. Your list should include both physical situations—parties, family gatherings, work presentations, and so forth—and personal experiences that you don’t want to face.

Give each situation a SUDS level from 0 to 100.

Plan your goals.

Build your goal stepladder. You’ve planned a goal and have decided to start work. Remember, situational exposure is a bit-by-bit process.

#powerful woman #c suite #ceo aesthetic #personal growth #strong women #productivity #that girl #getting your life together #balance #Book #social #social anxiety #confidence #speaking

[desperate-gay]

You’re Not Sorry

Alexia Putellas x fem!reader

A flute of champagne sits in your hand as your eyes drift down to the screen of your empty notifications. You let out a deep sigh and try to shove all of your negative feelings to the back of your head, seeing that your new art collection is going to be revealed to the museum.

Having worked on these paintings for over a year, you would think your girlfriend would finally make an effort to show up at one of your events, but just like the other times, she leaves you stranded. Just last night you had asked her repeatedly if she’d be able to accompany and support you for this massive milestone, and she assured you she wouldn’t miss it for the world. But to Alexia, the world is just another inconvenience.

There are several artists along with many investors, businessmen, and entrepreneurs roaming around the museum, waiting for the time your new projects are revealed. You stand alone in your skin-fitted maroon dress with the earrings Alexia bought for you on your first anniversary.

After waiting several more minutes, you realize your girlfriend isn’t showing up. It hurts you more than you’d like to admit, knowing you are constantly attending her games, red carpets, and photoshoots, but the times you want her to join you, she doesn’t even bother to send you a text.

Your co-worker waves you over to the podium where your covered artwork hangs behind it, signaling that it’s your time to speak. You quickly down the rest of the alcohol remaining in your glass before taking a few deep breaths and plastering a fake smile to enthuse everyone you’re about to speak to.

Once the night is over and you make it into your car, tears build up in your eyes as your lip trembles. You rest your head on your steering wheel while your body wracks in sops, letting out all of your pent-up anger and sadness at your girlfriend.

She has slowly been tearing down your self-esteem with every event and date she misses. It makes you think that maybe she doesn’t want to be with someone who isn’t a world-known athlete or someone who isn’t as beautiful as the movie stars she sees all the time. Alexia treats you like a trophy she puts in the back of her shelves, allowing it to collect all the dust for her.

The worst part is that your paintings are about her. About your journey throughout your guy’s relationship. You had spent countless hours working on all of them in your studio and never letting Alexia see them despite her protests which is the main reason you thought she’d show up.

Maybe she just pretended to be interested to keep you around longer. Several thoughts are running through your mind as you lift your head and look at yourself through the car mirror. Mascara smudges can be seen under your puffy eyes and your plump lips from the hard sobs.

You sniffle before wiping the tears off of your face and start the car. Your whole drive to your girlfriend’s house was filled with questions about what you’re going to do next. Deep inside you know you can’t continue being with someone who doesn’t support you like you support them, but you also know how in love you still are with her.

The lights inside the house can be seen on, showing you that Alexia is in fact home. Turning your car off, you sit back and realize what you’re about to do. You’re about to break up with the love of your life because you’re just not the love of hers.

The clicks of your heels on the hard pavement mock you for what’s going to come. The jingle of your keys alarms you in warning of what you’re about to lose. Then the bell of Nala’s collar reminds you that you won’t ever step foot in this place again.

“Amor? What are you doing here, I thought you had some, thing to be at?” Alexia asks from the couch, not even looking away from the game on the TV.

“Do you even remember what that thing was?”

Your jaw clenches in anger at the Catalan’s selfishness, realizing she didn’t even care enough to remember what she missed. Nala stays huddled near you, almost sensing your mood and trying to help out.

“Am I supposed to?” She yet again stays focused on the screen, meaning she doesn’t see how dressed up you are or how red your eyes look.

You laugh in disbelief which causes Alexia’s head to snap towards you. She can hear the malicious undertone of it, causing her eyebrows to furrow at your uncharacteristic behavior.

“You’re telling me you don’t even remember what tonight was? You knew it was something, but you didn’t bother remembering what?” You seethe, standing up straighter with your arms crossed over your chest.

You can practically see Alexia’s gears turning in her head, either trying to figure out what the event was or why you’re all of a sudden being cold towards her. When she sees that you have been crying, she quickly stands up and makes her way over to you, but when she tries to reach you, you step away before she can touch you.

“Amor, what’s wrong? Were you crying?”

“Like you care, Alexia.” You snap, turning around so you don’t have to face her, knowing that she’ll look like a kicked puppy.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Her tone becoming more aggravated by the second at your icy demeanor.

When you turn back around a few tears are lingering on your cheeks but you don’t seem to care. You want Alexia to own up to her actions after completely neglecting you for what feels like the hundredth time.

“It means that you can’t even remember your girlfriend’s opening night at the museum. You didn’t even care to text or anything. I thought that maybe you’d finally come with me to one of my work events, but I now see it’s too underclass for you to be seen there. To be seen with me.” The anger in your voice falters when it cracks from you trying everything not to cry in front of her at the moment.

Alexia remains silent with a look of despair on her face after coming to the realization of what today was. She knew that this was important to you and you had begged her several times to come and she didn’t need much convincing, but now she left you high and dry.

“Lo siento-”

“Don’t give me that sorry bullshit anymore, Alexia. I am tired of you apologizing and apologizing for not showing up but not making any effort to fix it. Sorry means nothing if you continue to do the things you’re sorry for.” You say, cutting off the ruse you have gotten too used to which makes the blonde look down at her hands.

Silence consumes the air between you two as you both stand across each other. You’re both only a few feet apart but it feels like you’re miles away from each other. There was once a time you two could be on separate continents but you’d still be just as close as if you two were in the same room. That time has been gone for quite a long time.

“Alexia-“

“Please stop calling me Alexia. I’m Ale or baby or anything else.” The Catalan pleads, looking up at you in desperation, knowing where this conversation is leading.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” You whisper as it’s now your turn to look at your hands that pick at the other’s nails.

“What?”

You don’t think you have heard that much emotion in Alexia’s voice ever. She sounds like she was just told her whole family was murdered.

Alexia knows she hasn’t been the best girlfriend in a while, always standing you up on dates, continuously busy with football, and just ignoring your presence. She wasn’t even sure if she realized at the time that you were sleeping at your own place which is extremely rare ever since you’ve been with her. She just hasn’t realized how far it has pushed you.

“I’m breaking up with you, Alexia. I can’t be with someone who isn’t there for me like I am for them.” You state strongly, not wanting to lose your willpower from the girl showing you more attention than she has the past few days.

“No, no, no, no. I’m sorry, bebe. Please give me a chance to make this right, to show you how much you mean to me. Please don’t leave.” Alexia reaches and grasps your hand as tears run down her face. Now that it dawns on her that she may lose you, she tears down the floodgates.

“It’s too late.” You murmur, removing your hand from her tight hold as she continues to plead for you.

Your chest feels incredibly heavy realizing what you’re leaving behind right now. A home you thought you’d grow a family in with the person you wanted that family with.

“Don’t call me because I won’t answer. Goodbye, Ale.” You press a kiss to her cheeks before moving to the front door. With one final look at the blonde, you turn around and leave without a stop.

Some thoughts are meant to remain just thoughts.

#alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #taylor swift #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fic #woso

[remcycl333]

STEP 1 - CHANGE WHAT YOU’RE AWARE OF

notes from “the creative use of imagination” by neville goddard 🤍

step 0 is to decide what you want. maybe you want money, or a new place to live, or an sp, or physical appearance changes.

step 1: begin to observe those thoughts and reactions towards the thing you want to manifest.

“to arrive at a certain definition of self, you must begin by uncritically observing your automatic reaction to an event, for your reaction defines your state” -NG

throughout this post, I will use the example of physical appearance change.

maybe throughout your day, you see pictures of other people on social media that you view as more attractive as you, and your reaction to that is “I wish I looked like them, this isn’t fair why am i not as attractive as them, what do I need to do to look like them” etc.

or maybe you see yourself in the mirror and you think “god why do i look like that, why am i not attractive? why hasn’t my face changed yet?” Etc

if you were in the state of having your desired physical appearance, would you be reacting that way to your 3D?

the first step to changing our state is to first learn the way our old state behaves and reacts to things. it is our current dwelling state that is reflecting in our 3d right now, and when you stop and observe your reactions to things, it becomes glaringly obvious how they’re creating your 3d. if you’re ruminating on how ugly you think you are all day long, you cannot be surprised when you look in the mirror and are dissatisfied with what you see.

“If you react to that which is being objectified, you bind yourself to a certain level of awareness, but if you refuse to react, the thread is broken.” -NG

“Only by observing your reactions to life can you find yourself.” -NG

how are you supposed to know what state you are in if you don’t observe your reactions? And once you begin to observe your reactions, Neville says you will be shocked by how deceitful you truly are. but he always urges the importance of uncritical observation. you should not shame yourself for what you find, or even feel bad. these observations are simply meant to show you your current state, and the ins and outs of it so you are able to change it more easily.

“always examine yourself uncritically, for the moment you become critical, you automatically justify your reactions and associate yourself with the thing observed.” -NG

once you begin to observe your reactions, you will become more aware of them when they happen. they’ll grow to become uncomfortable and glaring. they will feel like they don’t fit you anymore. maybe before they were just knee-jerk, unconscious reactions, but now you will feel them take up the space in your head whenever they arrive. and because of this, you will be able to shift your awareness to what you really want your 3d to reflect. you will be able to let go of the parts of yourself you no longer wish to identify with.

“be transformed by the renewing of your mind by changing the ideas planted there, for you cannot change your thinking until you change the ideas from which your thoughts flow.” -NG

your state creates your thoughts, not the other way around. it is critical to understand this if you wish to change your dwelling state. your thoughts are not your enemies. if you constantly battle against your thoughts, without ever paying mine to your state, you will not have much success.

“accept an idea as true. identify yourself with it and it will out-picture itself in your world. but if you do not accept the thought and identify yourself with it through feeling, you are free from its results. you must become very selective and learn not to associate yourself with unlovely thoughts.” -NG

this is not to confused with the term “mental diet.” when you react negatively to something, you have two options. 1) beat the thought down and panic and tell yourself the opposite without believing it to be true, or 2) choosing not to identify with it. remind yourself that this thought is just a thought. it has no power over you, and if you don’t want it to be manifested into your reality, it will not. Neville says if you do not consent to a thought as true, it will not manifest into your world. if you don’t associate your inner being with that thought, it will not come to pass in your 3D.

“start now to consent only to lovely thoughts of fulfilled desires prior to their confirmation by your senses, and give up the animal instinct of suffering and bathing yourself in the feelings of hurt and self-pity.” -NG

ruminating in unpleasant thoughts where your desire remain unfulfilled can be comfortable, and even habitual, but at the end of the day it is a choice. a choice that you have to stop making if you truly want better for yourself. this is something I struggled with a lot at the beginning of my manifestation journey. there was some twisted pleasure and comfort found in picking at scabs in my mind, and feeling sorry for myself, and imagining what would happen if my desire was never realized in my 3d. but eventually I had to choose better for myself, and I had to choose to stop giving so much attention to mental conversations like that.

“control your imagination with steady attention and dare to stand and be heard.” -NG

YOU create the happenings of your imagination, and your imagination creates your reality. do not feel silly or foolish deciding better for yourself in your own imagination. and do not let the logical restrictions of the 3d to tell you what you can and can not give yourself in imagination. give yourself what you want in imagination and stand firm in that, even if your 3d shows the opposite. stop silencing yourself in your own imagination!

this is my thoughts and notes only on the first two chapters of “the creative use of imagination” so more may come as I continue my re-read! 🤍 just wanted to share this :)

#law of assumption #neville goddard #states

[mrswint3rs]

˚୨୧⋆｡˚⋆ Much Needed Company ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

pairings- Sugar Daddy! Leon x Fem! Reader

a/n- wrote this with Vendetta Leon in mind ! (sorry i got lazy but maybe i’ll do something more with this eventually?)

NSFW WARNING :

contains- Depressed Leon, brief mentions of alcohol, mild daddy kink, use of pet names, sending nude images and videos, phone sex, guided masturbation?, reader is kind of innocent and inexperienced 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Leon put most of his money into buying booze. It seemed to be the only thing that could keep his mind off of the shitty life he’s had so far.

Until he met you.

It happened by chance online. You put up some post in dire need of financial assistance. Leon saw your pleas as fate. It was the perfect opportunity to do good with what he had. So he directly messaged you as soon as he saw it.

Everything started off rather innocently. Leon payed you weekly, free of charge. In a way it made him feel like he was saving you, something he’s always struggled with doing before.

A lot of the time that was all he could think about. The loss of many from his job weighed heavily on his mind. He was no hero, no matter how hard he tried to front.

You gave him a chance at redeeming himself.

The saying 'money can't buy happiness' had been proven to be a complete fallacy as he actually got to know you. He didn’t think people as pure as you even existed anymore.

He found himself growing attached to you the more you chatted. The world had been unfair to the both of you. You were so sweet regardless. Meanwhile, he was just moping around, constantly angry and self-pitying.

Just talking with you made those negative feelings fall away. You became the main focus of his attention, making his days go by much easier. It wasn’t a burden to open his eyes in the morning anymore. Not when he had your sweet good morning texts to look forward to.

Things were supposed to be casual between the two of you, but you quickly became his whole world. He could hardly sleep at night without calling you over the phone. He loved just listening to you talk about how your day went.

»--•--«

You couldn’t help but feel like you were taking advantage of this man. You were grateful, no doubt, but he was paying you for nothing. You didn’t have to do anything, just talk with him for a bit and he’d drop a whole 2 months worth of rent in your bank account without an issue.

Leon never asked anything of you. You wondered if he ever would. It’s been 3 months of just talking and he never once made things weird.

That in itself made you want to give him something.

He was so generous, actually listened when you spoke. Not to mention, he was incredibly handsome. But you figured he probably had a girlfriend, looking the way he did. That would explain why he never made a move or asked you for things like most men. Or maybe he just wasn’t interested in you that way.

The thought worried you until you grew the confidence to ask him straight up.

You’re surprised to hear he’s been single for as long as he can remember. A guy like him didn’t have a special someone?

But really, you were relieved to know he was available. Not just for his money. Leon was the whole package it seemed. Though, you’ve never met in person, he was everything you could ever need.

So, you decide to do something out of the ordinary.

You know it’s probably not equivalent to the thousands of dollars he’s gifted you over the months, but you wanted to give something in return.

After many attempts of trying to get the right angles and lighting, you finally get a decent shot.

Your thumb hovers over the send button for a while. You wonder if it’ll upset him or make things awkward if he’s not interested. Or if you should have asked before hitting send.

You anxiously sit in bed, waiting for his response and refuse to look at your phone in the meantime. You’re overthinking the whole thing, fearing he might block you or something. He doesn’t usually take this long to respond and isn’t normally busy at this time of night.

You swear you’re about to have a heart attack when your phone finally chirps.

You rush to check it, almost embarrassingly fast and you’re greeted with a video from Leon. With sound.

His hand pumps over his length at a slow pace as the other holds his phone and records. He was almost teasing with the way he’d tap his fingers over the tip, drawing a string of his leaking precum. His breath was heavy, soft groans sounding from his lips.

He was taking his time, corkscrewing with his palm over and over making a wet, squishy sound with the lube he was using.

He didn’t say anything, but you understood it was your turn to send one back.

You set up your phone between your legs, parting them to reveal your dripping cunt. In return, you slowly, teasingly rub over your clit and folds, smearing your juices.

You quietly moan out as you slip your fingers inside, curving them up to feel for that sensitive spot. You scissor your digits in and out, attempting to match the length of time his video was before pausing to send it. Only you’re not feeling confident enough to keep the sound on just yet.

“Let’s call.” he replies this time, shortly after you sent it.

He doesn’t give you much time to think before your phone starts ringing and his contact info displays full screen.

Feeling pressured, you answer.

Leon’s camera is already on, only showing his gruff face for now. You’re only half showing yours. Even though you just sent the man 90% of your body through text, you’re feeling nervous.

“Don’t be shy princess,” Leon speaks up, his voice low yet soft. “Let me see your pretty face, hm?” He wore a cheeky grin, just waiting patiently.

You give in to him and show yourself, not wanting to make things awkward. “Hey..sorry.”

“Good girl. There’s no need to be so nervous with me.”

Unsure of how to reply, you just sit there. You had never done anything like this and you didn’t even know how to initiate it. He was the one who wanted to transfer it over to a call, so you let him take the lead.

Except he wasn’t.

You sat in a deafening silence for a while, just sort of looking at each other through the screen before he finally said something again. “If you wanna see it you gotta ask me, baby.”

As you’re put on the spot you once again go silent. You didn’t know how to word it. Over text was one thing, but vocally saying such things was another story.

“Aw, c’mon,” Leon teases. “You can do it. Tell me what you want and you’ll get it.”

From the way his camera was slightly shaking, and the way he was breathing you could tell he was already going at it. He was just waiting for you to warm up to him.

Leon adored your innocent aura and was willing to be patient with you. He loved the way you depended on him, but he also wanted you to be able to let loose on your own. He didn’t want you to feel pressured or like you had to give him anything. He would still reward you regardless.

“Can I see it?” you manage to mutter out.

But Leon decides to tease you further by playing dumb.

“See what, baby?”

That grin of his made your stomach do flips. You hated but loved the way he pushed you to do things.

“Can I see your…cock,” you stutter out

Immediately he lowers his phone, revealing the entirety of his naked body. His dick was firmly gripped in his hand, fully hardened still. “Atta’ girl. So proud of you.”

He starts to stroke with his hand again, slowly going over the whole length and back up again.

You follow him, putting the phone back between your legs quickly. Just the sight of him made you a sopping wet mess, there was no hiding that.

Leons movements grow faster when you reveal yourself.

“Touch yourself…” he groans, “touch yourself for daddy.”

The use of the name makes you tingle a bit, and you oblige. You sink your fingers into your tight opening once more, slowly pumping in and out for him.

Your weak whimpers rile him even further. His own voice heightens in volume as he rapidly fucks into his hand. “So fuckin’ pretty, baby. Spread a little further for me.”

Your free hand comes down to part your lips as he asked. You pry yourself open for his hungry eyes.

“Good girl, now rub your clit. Want you to cum.”

You do as told. Your two middle fingers stuff your cunt while your other hand starts to rub at your clit. Leon let’s out needy groans. He desperately chases his high, stroking the head of his cock trying to finish. “Can you be a dirty girl for daddy? Be a little louder.”

Reluctantly, you stop holding back. Watching as his hand races, you try to match pace, imagining your fingers as his cock.

His voice is enough to make you dizzy.

You feel your walls start to pulse, that tightening in your core. You never knew simple masturbation could feel so good.

Leon finishes before you do, shooting cum all over his taut abs. It uncontrollably spills into his hand as he keeps stroking.

You finish soon after at the sound of his moaning babbles. Your back arches into your hand as it hits, tears welling up in your eyes.

“Fuck…you’re shaking.” Leon chuckles a bit at this, coming down from his climax. His stroking comes to a halt as his cock becomes far too sensitive to keep touching.

“Maybe next time I’ll have my vacation where you are. That way I can calm you down after I ruin you.”

With a content sigh, he lets go, letting his softening length lay across his lower stomach. He brings his phone back up to his flushed face and you follow suit.

He goes on pause, seemingly doing something else on his phone.

You soon after get a notification. $850 transferred.

“For lingerie next time. We should do this more often,” he states, “or you could catch a flight down here?”

mlist

#leon kennedy x reader smut #leon x reader #leon kennedy x reader #leon resident evil #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #resident evil vendetta #vendetta leon #re #reaident evil #resident evil vendetta leon #fem reader #smut #resident evil #fanfiction #rushed

[vivendraws]

making an important announcement about some things i’ve noticed in the gwendoline christie fandom that really bug me.

disclaimer: read this at your own convenience and discretion. i am not responsible for any sort of hurt feelings and frankly… i don’t care. if you’re mad about this, you are probably the problem. /lh

to start with id like to begin on a positive note so that i’m not diving into negativity, i don’t want to be completely negative about my experiences because i’ve actually met some of the kindest people in the world through this fan base.

the gwen fandom, the gwandom, the gwendoline christie fandom , the lesbian cesspool, has been an incredible experience that i’m grateful i’ve had the pleasure of being apart of.

i went through a rough patch during november, and if i hadn’t found out about gwen, or met such wonderful people during my time here , i honestly wouldn’t be here right now. i owe my life to these people, gwen included. i will forever adore miss christie and what she stands for alongside the friends i’ve made along the way.

and while i know someday this hyperfix will end, it’s really disheartening to me when a fandom is what makes me grow distant from things i enjoy. it happened before, i feel as though it is happening all over again.

and no, i’m not taking issue with anything like the catrissa stuff or the brienne and larissa ship going around or anything like that. i like that we can all be weird together and enjoy aus like catrissa and crackships like bririssa (not sure the official name that was decided lol). my issue is the amount of content i’ve seen that either focuses on gwen herself, or the strange relationship with minors, or the odd artwork of gwen, and the absolute disgusting behaviour towards giles.

gwen would be absolutely appalled seeing fanfictions of herself that involve nsfw or just her in general, anyone would, it’s disgusting to make works of real people in that setting. it’s like you’re treating them as an original character you can mould and manipulate as you see fit and using someone who is real with thought and feeling and consciousness for smut fics is not okay, or any fic in general. i totally get the hype around her characters, i literally have “brienne’s princess” in my bio and i’ve had “jane murdstone’s bloodbag” (in reference to my vamp au) as a name in a discord server.

but i think the fandom has begun to blur the lines between fictional characters and reality settings when it comes to gwen and the personalities she portrays on the television screen. it’s not fair to her. it’s disgusting. i’ve seen a minor do it, i’ve seen a grown adult do it. it’s something i don’t see shamed and frowned upon often enough and it’s really not okay.

on that note i’d like to quickly mention the photos, we alllll know what photos i’m talking about. the bunny one, the nudes, the ones gwen has expressed regret towards and wishes to not have them spread. was there not a “fan” who brought her a book of her nudes and wanted her to sign it? that person who was blocked on instagram by gwen because they reposted her nudes on their story and tagged her???? how can you refer to yourself as a fan after behaving so abhorrently? absolutely disgusting behaviour. as a collective fandom we need to stop touching those photos (metaphorically speaking) and leave them in the past.

i’ve been told of numerous circumstances in which adults have shown their nsfw works to minors in this fandom and it has to fucking stop. it’s disgusting!! how can you do that knowingly? i constantly ponder terminating my account after a minor got ahold of my nsfw work, and upon realising they WERE a minor it was as simple as blocking and moving on. it’s truly not that hard, folks. and the minors on tiktok who fight with others saying silly things like “that’s my wife” or worse. i’ve seen it all, i feel like, and the more i see it the more sick i become. i cannot stand it.

i have seen and heard of fans who have fat shamed gwen for that one pink dress she wore to the met gala. she looked so happy in that dress, and the audacity one must have to fatshame that poor woman on twitter then turn around and continue to proclaim your ‘love for her’ as if you’d done no wrong? are you fucking serious? are you mental?

and the sexualisation over the porcelain doll look, gods some of you are sick. those were not real breasts, people. considering the fact she wholeheartedly regrets her nude photoshoots , what possesses you to believe she would actually flaunt her chest in that outfit?

the blatant mistreatment of poor giles is not fucking okay either. just because you’re jealous of someone who makes her immensely happy does not give you the right to post something so vile and cruel about him. shame on you. why do you believe this is okay to post:

????????

are you serious? have any of you stopped to consider how HAPPY giles makes her? or is her happiness the last thing you ponder when you look at her? have you even noticed how unhappy she looks lately? have you truly paused to consider how she would feel about seeing this on your page, random twitter user, or the rest of you who think this is okay? bless your hearts.

and some of the absolutely horrific things i’ve seen about her online and the hurtful behaviour towards giles makes me question the difference between a fan and just the general paparazzi. because if you truly loved her and you truly loved giles then i would not be ranting into the fucking void about it for no reason.

i avoid interacting with pages i find problematic on here to keep from stirring the pot but tonight i chose violence and got reeeeeal pissy about how i felt about this place. it’s not okay what i see on here and it’s getting exhausting seeing the same cycle of content on a daily.

that’s everything i have to say, i think. i probably missed a lot that should be discussed in the comments but i’m done for now because i know if i go on i’ll probably cry.

before you post things about real people with real feelings , stop to consider how they will feel those real feelings towards the content you put out. chances are you’ll become less problematic and obnoxious that way. 💘

#gwendoline christie #gwendolineuniverse #sigh #announcement #i’m upset #this fandom is insane #some of you need help #seriously #like its not even funny #you guys are weird #please repost this everywhere #this is not okay #i’m really tired of seeing these things #and i understand i can block and move on but i feel as though it was important enough to be said #fandom #tumblr fandom #and specifically #the tumblr and tiktok fandom #instagram is becoming just as bad #and twitter has always been atrocious

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

Blue Violet

NAVIGATION || NIECE!READER MASTERLIST

PAIRING: Simon 'Ghost' Riley & Niece!Reader (platonic series)

SYNOPSIS: Trust. It was one of the many things that Simon Riley was constantly fighting a war with himself over.

WARNINGS: Angst, talks of death, blood, gore, fires, trust issues, many mentions from Simon's comic backstory, etc.

A/N: You'll need to read this drabble first to understand the plot!

*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*

Trust. It was one of the many things that Simon Riley was constantly fighting a war with himself over. Who to give it to—who he could believe wouldn’t put a knife into his gut or a bullet through his skull with little more than words shared. 

Washington. Sparks. All that they had done….they’d ruined what little was left of his mind along with Roba’s torture. But Simon had already explained it before. 

You can’t break something that was already broken a long time ago.

So, trust. 

Trust. 

It was easier said than done, but he was working on it. One-Four-One helped somewhat, but perhaps the one person who showed him that he could try to fix his own head was you. Tommy and Beth’s little daughter. Simon’s niece, who was now under his guardianship. You were the only one to survive the brutal murder of his entire family on that cold night, hidden away; a baby asleep without knowing about the blood staining the hardwood of the living room.

How does he explain to you that you were one of the few things keeping him from slipping off that edge? Easy. 

He doesn’t. 

Simon was never good with words, and soon, the trust of his fellow soldiers was going to be forced to a near breaking point. 

“Who’s the guy with the mohawk?”

“Oh, bloody fuckin’ hell.”

You’re talking up a storm to Sergeant MacTavish, asking him what he does, what he specializes in, what he thinks of your Uncle and his horrible jokes—Simon glares at him, looming above your figure like a bear with his arms crossed. 

Realistically, it wasn’t Johnny’s fault he was just at the wrong place at the wrong time, but hell if it didn’t make Ghost nervous. No one besides Price knew about you, and for good reason. Simon couldn’t take the thought of you getting dragged into this. 

Johnny’s face is tight, eyes darting from you up into Simon’s deep browns every so often as if the Lieutenant was about to snap. Though, you were quick to point it out.

“Simon,” you huff over your shoulder, the man carrying the grocery bags in his arm. “Stop trying to light him on fire.”

“M’not,” his glare doesn’t loosen, and you wonder if he’d even blinked from the moment you had dragged him over to say hello to the Sergeant. 

“That’s the same look you give me when I sneak out to the corner store to buy snacks.”

Johnny blinks in confusion, reaching a hand back to itch at his skull while his pack of Irn Bru is still swinging from the other. 

Simon grunts. “An’ if you’d stop fuckin’ doing it, I’d stop lookin’ at you like that.”

The Sergeant graciously interrupts.

“Nice seein’ you, Lt.” Cobalt eyes blink as he clears his throat, looking down at you. “And..uh…”

You cheerily give your name, sticking out a hand and adding on easily, “Simon’s niece!”

Trust, Simon reminds himself, jaw clenching from under his balaclava. 

Johnny chuckles, lips pulling back in a smile as he gently locks his much larger hand with yours. 

“Good to know, Little Lady. Y’can call me Johnny, just like your Uncle, here.” A glance is tossed Simon’s way as you laugh. “You two live around here, then? Haven’t seen you ‘ere before.”

Your eyes spark, excited at the prospect of more friends. “Yea-!”

“Negative.” You blink, confusion poking your chest like a stick. Simon grabs your shoulder and you’re being paraded out of the doors of the Tesco swiftly. 

“Simon!” your feet pad, skidding. “What the hell, man?” 

The man glares ahead. “What I say about the shitty language?”

You shift out of his grip, flailing an arm with an annoyed huff stuck on your lips. 

“You’re embarrassing, you know that? I wanted to talk to someone you work with!” Brown eyes swirl with dull amusement, and you can see his smirk from under his face covering as he continues walking forward down the street. “Why did you do that?”

“We don’t need people knowing where we live, yeah? Bloody give the address away while you’re at it. Only thing worse would be givin’ ‘em the keys.” You know there’s some life lesson hidden in this somewhere—some cautionary tale that you have no interest in learning from a ghost. 

But Johnny had seemed nice, and it was hard to make friends when you two were always moving. Much less one of the men who worked with your uncle.

“Simon,” you growl and hurry after, Johnny left alone in the building blinking at the doors. The highly confused Sergeant shakes his head and mutters under his breath with a growing headache. 

“Imagine that.”

A shocked chuckle spills out, and he slowly heads to the check-out aisle.

When you and your Uncle get back to your flat, you still have layers of steam coming out of your ears, even as you get told to help put the food away. You grasp the bag of crisps and toss them to the counter, Simon sliding you a side glance as he washes his hands. 

Flicking off the water droplets, he huffs. 

“You’ll break ‘em.” Your lips stay firmly shut until many minutes later. 

“Why don’t you trust people?” By now supper had been started, your body standing in the doorway as you had fought on whether to go to your room or stay here and talk. Your own stubborn nature held out; you often thought you got that from Simon if no one else. 

The man in question freezes as he is about to open the fridge, eyes staring blankly at the metal ahead of him. He lets you continue as his chest pulls in with a bit of apprehension. 

“I…” you stutter for a moment but push through. “I get it, really. I know enough about the whole thing to understand where you’re coming from, okay?” Your mind tells you it’s better to keep the references vague—you love your Uncle dearly, but there are some things that you have to call out when you see them. And you’d been seeing them for years. “But, Simon, I want to be able to talk to people.”

Simon’s fingers twitch over the handle, and his browns shift to stare at you over his shoulder. He blinks. 

“You do. A lot.” You look away, expression tight. 

“You know what I mean,” your voice grumbles lowly, losing that confidence as you push out. “I’m not them.” 

Simon admitted that this wasn’t a new point that had been brought up. He was protective of you and your safety to the utmost degree. You were his family, after all; you were all he had left through this. 

The man sighs under his breath. 

“I know that, Kid. Never said you were.” He turns and walks over to you, one of his hands moving out to grasp your shoulder and tilt his head your way. Simon waits until you look at him and he speaks through his gravelly accent when you do—a line in your forehead. 

“You’re my responsibility. And I—” You frown and turn away. Simon grunts, “Hey, right ‘ere.” Your eyes lock with his. The man raises a brow and his dead gaze glints slightly. “I’ve got a lot o’ shit goin’ on, you know that. Rightly, I shouldn't ‘ave dragged you into any of it.”

You open your mouth to disagree, but you’re leveled with a stare. 

“So you let me make the decisions, yeah?” 

“You don’t trust your teammates?” You’re going to be the death of him. 

“Never bloody said that,” Simon defects, moving back as you glare up at him as he leaves to get more of the ingredients he needs. 

“You implied it.” 

“I did not—” You glare, unimpressed as you cross your arms over your chest. 

“I literally just asked you why you don’t trust people and you gave me a lecture like an old man.”

Narrowed eyes pierce you, and a growl is uttered. “If you don’t fuckin’ join that debate club, it’ll be a cold day in Hell, you hear?” 

The sharp smirk that slashes your face makes him hold back his own, a same mirror image that he can’t overlook. 

“Callin’ it as I see it, Unc.” The look you’re given has you scurrying away from the kitchen, chuckling under your breath, but the both of you know that this conversation is far from over. 

Yet, even after you’re gone, your words leave Simon thinking as he begins cutting vegetables. 

He knew he could rely on his fellow soldiers in the field—knew he could tell Price about you when he had been mulling it over years ago. Garrick and MacTavish had both fired bullets for his safety, just as he had for them. Simon knew that meant something, he wasn’t destroyed enough to not realize that. 

But the more people that knew about you, the more in danger you became. Leaving you here alone was already stressful, knowing that something might happen made his hair stand on end like a dog with snarling fangs. And Simon could also admit that he was moving the two of you around more than he had to, never giving you more than half a year in one flat before packing it up.

His knife slows, eyes narrow, and he asks himself the question he thought of often. 

Is this what Tommy and Beth would have wanted for you? 

The question made his sleepless nights more claustrophobic than the coffin he’d been shoved into. Simon was constantly in doubt with himself about anything outside of a battlefield, and he was sure that wasn’t going to change anytime soon. 

This would have been so much easier if his mum was here. She’d know what to do. Know what to say. 

Simon hums under his breath, eyes far off, and gets back to chopping. 

You both eat at the kitchen table, and you instantly bring Johnny up as you take a bite from your fork. 

“What’s he like,” Simon’s balaclava is tossed to the side, his scarred face on full display to you. You had stopped being scared of those scars a long time ago, but Simon could still remember the first time he’d shown you them. 

Brown eyes look up, the man chewing the last of the food in his mouth.

“Johnny, I mean,” you casually state, but the soldier can see the interest in your eyes. He kept work and home life separate when it came to you. No mention of missions or targets. For you, it left a big black hole in your chest, which was exactly where this was coming from. “He seems nice.”

“Never knows how to keep quiet,” Simon utters, taking a sip from his water glass. “But he’s a good shot.”

You sigh to yourself, putting your chin to your palm as your elbow rests on the wood, fork released with a tiny clink of the plate.

“We should invite them over one time—your team.”

“No.” 

“Simon, please—”

“I said no,” Simon’s face was stern, serious. He doesn’t look away as he speaks to you. “We’ve had this conversation.”

Your anger sparks, flaring up at the refusal of something so simple. Why did he seem to think that keeping you hidden was the best thing for you? Did he not realize that if he let the people he trusted know about you, then you’d just be more safe at the end of the day? 

Who in their right mind would go against the whole of One-Four-One?

“I want to know who you work with,” you snap, one hand clenching on the table as the other is set down when you move your head. 

Simon grunts, continuing to eat as his arms tense. “You will.”

Your head perks. “When?”

“When I’m dead.” 

“I’m not joking!” You stand suddenly, eyes glossy and face tight. Simon’s expression changes from mild annoyance to surprise, head moving like a dog to watch silently as you grow more animated. 

He forgot sometimes that you were still a teenager. 

“I want to know who keeps you safe!” You glare through the sting, emotions finally catching up and tightening around your throat. Did he not see the real purpose behind this? “I never ask what goes on when you leave,” your nose sniffles, and Simon’s eyelids flinch. “I need to know who I have to put my trust in to help you come back. You’re my family, Simon, and every time I try to figure you out it’s like there’s a wall that I have to break through.” 

Trust. 

Your hands come up to brush along your cheeks as the sound of a moving chair enters your ears, your fingers shake before a firm arm wraps behind your head, pushing you into a large chest. 

Simon doesn’t speak as you lightly cry, your emotions that he didn’t even consider existing in this way leaving his heart tight in his ribs. He really wasn’t good at this. Like an awkward statue, he holds you the best he can—eyes staring forward at the far wall. 

“Didn’t,” the man starts as you calm down minutes later. He pauses, not knowing what to say. “Didn’t know that was how you felt ‘bout it. You don’t have to worry for me, eh?”

“Shut up,” your nose nuzzles into his shirt, voice muffled as Simon sighs long. “You’d worry about me.”

He can’t argue with that. 

“...You know why I can’t let ‘em over.” You shake your head into him. 

“You’re making excuses. If you can’t trust them, then who can you?” He’s petting the back of your head, thumb rubbing circles into your scalp as his jaw clenches, crooked nose shifting.

“I do trust them—”

“Then why are you—”

“What I don’t fuckin’ trust is myself.” You stop, blinking quickly as you pull back. 

Your hands push away your tear tracks. 

“What?” 

Simon’s eyes are far away, body tense. “I don’t know if I trust myself to be able to let other people know about another Riley who survived. If somethin’ were to happen to you, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself, Sunshine, you hear?” 

You stare, blinking quickly at your uncle and his larger-than-life pedestal that you’d placed him on. Brown eyes flicker to yours, and the man grunts at your red-veined eyes before letting you go. 

“I would sooner let the devil drag me down right ‘ere than think o’ that.” 

Your mouth opens and closes, struggling to put into words the thoughts inside of your brain. Simon had never been…open with his thoughts about things—he was more of a show-than-tell type of person. Mostly that was due to your age and your separation from all of the more dark aspects of his life. It was good that way, and you’d never complained.

But he was your Uncle—your guardian. In more ways than one, he was the only father figure you’d ever have.

You drag Simon into a hug, squeezing him tightly and wrenching your eyes shut before you can cry again. 

“Why couldn’t you have just said you didn’t want the flat dirty,” you wetly laugh, and Simon’s eyes soften down at you, his arms once more curling around you as his lungs push a huff from his nose. 

“Still can.”

“Fuck you.” 

A squeeze. “Oi.”

“Sorry.” Yet always, you broke the sharp bits of him off one by one. Simon sighs, and in a way, he understands your concerns. They were just like his. 

The man gets to thinking about the two Sergeants, not just MacTavish. They had never given him any red flags or internal concerns—in fact, the two men were some of the finest he had ever worked with; they were promising not only in skill but attitude. 

To go through what they had and still hold smiles and jokes was a feat not many could achieve. 

They were good men. 

And in the case of information leaking, he realized with a slow blink that even if that was the case, Simon Riley was officially dead—he had died in a house fire, his dog tags recovered from the body of Kevin Sparks. Of course, only Simon knew that last part. If there was ever something that happened, someone being captured and tortured, there would be no link to you.

To trust was a dangerous thing, and to be worthy of that trust was even more so.

He would do anything to never see you worry. 

Simon licks his lips, for once in his life making a decision based on no forethought beyond a few measly moments and the weight of his niece in his arms. 

“One time.” You make a noise into his chest in confusion. Simon closes his eyes and grates out, “I’ll have ‘em over one time.”

—

The next day he’s at base, out on the target fields in full gear with Johnny beside him as a spotter. Simon lay on the concrete lookout with the stock of a sniper rifle in his shoulder, the Sergeant kneeling about a foot away.

The Scot speaks unprompted as Simon’s brown eyes blink slowly, gaze steady.

“Jus’ so you know, Lt.,” Johnny’s face is in the corner of his vision, his headgear turned Simon’s way as the man was lining up with the target miles away. “...Your secret’s safe with me.” 

Trust was something that Simon Riley fought a war with himself over. It was a mountain of knives and bullets that he knew he would have to climb one bleeding foot at a time. He would do it, of course. Blood had never made him shy away from anything. 

“I know.”

#cod #AWFP #platonic #cod x reader #cod x you #call of duty #x female reader #call of duty x you #cod mw22 #mw2 #mw2 2022 #cod simon ghost riley #cod simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley #ghost call of duty #ghost mw2 #ghost cod #ghost #call of duty x reader #ghost x reader #x fem!reader #cod x female reader #female reader

[daycourtofficial]

Hello. If you dont mind i have a request for azriel where maybe reader has just given birth and has lately been feeling very insecure about her body and azriel comforts her...with lots of fluff

A New Warmth

Sorry about how long this took anon, but I hope the wait was worth it!

-

You watch the baby nestled in the crook of your arms, mirroring her deep breaths to keep yourself calm. She was so soft, so sweet, and whenever she reached for you, it made your heart melt. She was everything you and Azriel had hoped for - healthy, chubby, and sweet as can be. She even had the cutest little wings that twitched in her sleep.

The problem with having an Illyrian baby is you develop an Illyrian’s appetite while pregnant with them, along with the other stretching and tearing your body has gone through to accommodate her.

She was two weeks old at this point, and you knew you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself. Your body created this - a perfect mirror of you and your mate. But you couldn’t help the negative thoughts fluttering through your mind as your hand rested on your stomach, knowing the fresh stretch marks that lay underneath. You gained a good deal of weight during the pregnancy, your labor only removing about a dozen of those pounds.

As if sensing your spiraling thoughts, your mate walks in the door of your shared bedroom, his eyes alight with love and adoration at seeing his two girls.

“My loves,” he greets the both of you, setting the mugs of tea he had brought down, lifting the blanket to lat next to you. His presence under the blanket providing a new layer of warmth- not just physical, but the warmth of the three of you being together.

You lean your head against his shoulder as he wraps an arm behind you, slowly to not disturb the baby in your arms. “Will I ever get my body back?” You mumble into his shoulder. His fingers start caressing your shoulder, rubbing soothing circles into it.

“Mmm, no, I don’t think you will.” You want to snap your head up, tell him that’s no way to console someone who had just pushed out his baby out of a tiny opening in their body when he uses his hand to hold your head in place.

“We will never be the same. We cannot go back.” He looks down at the baby in your arms, “maybe one day you’ll have more autonomy again - you won’t have a baby latched to your breast every other hour.”

His hand snakes down to rest on top of the hand you’re using to cradle the baby. “But she’ll always be a part of you.” The baby starts stirring, moving her tiny hands, and he reaches out a finger, which she quickly wraps her delicate fingers around. You both watch the scarred flesh in the pristine grasp of your innocent babe, no idea of an outside world that could cause harm. All she knows is the sanctuary of your home.

You look at Azriel with tears in your eyes, feeling incredibly silly over being upset at stretch marks. But as if he can read your mind, he tells you, “you have constantly given me what I thought I’d never have. You loved me, you gave me a true home, you gave me a mate, and now?” He laughs, flexing his finger in her grasp. “You’ve expanded our family. You gorgeous thing, you.”

He kisses the top of your head, inhaling your scent. “Your love knows no bounds, and I am eternally grateful for you.”

You start crying, post partem hormones taking control of you. “It’s so shallow,” you laugh as a tear falls, “I just was so upset over how weird my body feels. The pregnancy glow is gone so now I just feel heavy and weird in my own skin.”

He uses the hand not gripped by your baby to grab your chin and tilt it towards him. “I couldn’t look at my hands for a long time, after they had done it.”

Azriel always has a way of leaving you speechless, telling you another facet of himself he never had before.

“I could barely look at them before I met you. But you called them beautiful, this part of me I hated so much.” He looks into your eyes, the bond between you two humming in joy and adoration. “It’s okay if you don’t like how you look right now, I will find you beautiful enough for the both of us.”

#acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel fanfic #azriel fluff

[welcometomyoasis]

Seventeen with an s/o who experiences hyperfixation

Synopsis: How seventeen would help their s/o through hyperfixation/ hyperfocus episodes. Svt x gn! reader | fluff, comfort, established relationship | 1.6k words | warnings: hyperfixation, hyperfocus, stress, mental health issues, neglecting self-care, food | requested by @4momorin Disclaimer and a/n: I do personally experience hyperfixation episodes so I am aware of how this feels like. Hyperfixation/ hyperfocus can be caused by several factors and are usually symptoms of ADHD, or mental health issues such as anxiety, OCD, depression etc. It’s not inherently good or bad either as it can manifest itself in many different forms. You can read more here. I hope I did this trope justice? I wasn’t quite sure how to write it without making it too angsty so i just split it into 2 broad groups…

☾𖤓 He’s your anchor. He holds you down firmly when you feel like you’re adrift at sea.

Seungcheol, Junhui, Hoshi, Dokyeom, Mingyu, Dino

➵ Honestly, he wouldn’t really realise you’re beginning to spiral into one of your hyperfixation/ hyperfocus episodes. It's not because he’s not observant or in tune with your emotions. Rather, the objects of your fixation are so so varied. Plus, not all your episodes are negative. There was the time you ate a particular food for weeks until you got sick of it because you found it so tasty, or the time you binge watched a 16 episode show in 24 hours because you fell in love with the plot. Ah, and don’t even remind him of the time where you fell in love with a certain character. You were drooling all over the character, buying their merch, changing your lock screen. Like, he’s right there? You can kiss him and hug him, he’s a physical being. Please give him attention and not that fictional character. Yea, he was all sulky and whiny for the entire time you were obsessed. 

➵ You’re just such an easily excitable, adorable person with a big heart. It’s only natural for you to be obsessed over different things at different times. At some point, he’ll realise that you are in the middle of your episodes. But as long as it’s not an episode stemming from stress and you’re continuing to take care of yourself, he really isn’t going to intervene. Your fixations will pass eventually, and you’re happy, healthy, eating and sleeping well (even if you stay up longer because your mind is swimming with thoughts about the object of your fixation). That’s all he could ask for. In fact, he will even encourage you more or indulge you in your fixations. You want the same food for 7 days straight? He’s ordering it on his phone for you. You want to watch the same show again although he’s already sick of it? Sure, whatever you say baby. You want merch of that character? Uhm, he’s kind of crying inside but sure… he’s pulling out his card just for you. If keeping you happy through your fixations will keep you happy, he’s willing to do whatever it takes. 

➵ He will only intervene to attempt to pull you out of your hyperfixation episode when he thinks your wellbeing is at risk. Your mental and physical well being is his number 1 priority. And admittedly, there are many times where your hyperfixation episodes manifest themselves negatively. You could be hyper focused on work that it’s causing you so much stress. You’re not eating, sleeping. You barely have time to relax. Or, your episode could stem from anxiety, depression, etc. You could be pouring all your time and energy into something as insignificant as a cup that was placed in the wrong cupboard because that’s just how your mind has decided to cope with all the complex feelings you were dealing with. It’s a transference of your jumbled emotions to something else. The worst part? As insignificant as your fixation might be, in your mind, it can feel like you’re on a sailboat adrift at sea. It’s captured your attention so deeply that your mind is in overdrive, the currents in your mind constantly pushing you forward. You end up floating further and further away into the middle of nowhere, where there’s nothing to be seen for miles except the object of your fixation. It’s as if you’re staring into the horizon with no land in sight.

➵ So, he intervenes. He’s your anchor. He’s going to ground you, and help you stop your mind from drifting too far away. He’s going to be firm, but gentle. He will tell you outright that your hyperfixation episode, it’s hurting you. He doesn’t care that you might get angry at him for prying, or if you get defensive and deny anything is going on. He rather you express those emotions at him rather than for you to bottle them up inside. You need help. That’s what he’s here for. Please understand this isn't a confrontation, it’s an intervention. He’ll stand firm (even if it means pestering you) until you cave in and let him help you. Cry to him, rant to him, use him as a bolster, whatever makes you feel better. He will pamper you so so much and treat you like royalty. He needs to make you feel loved, like you’re heard, like your feelings are valid. His presence and his care for you will help you feel a little better, even if you’re not completely pulled out of your hyperfixation episode yet. It grounds you by helping you ease that helpless, airy feeling that you’ve been dealing with. It’s certainly going to take time to completely get over your hyperfixation episode, and it won’t be easy, but please know that he’s here for you, and you can overcome whatever it is you’re going through together. 

☾𖤓 He’s your gentle ocean wave. He lightly nudges you along when you feel stuck and feel like you’re about to sink. 

Jeonghan, Joshua, Wonwoo, Woozi, Minghao, Seungkwan, Vernon

➵ As you begin fixating on something, there are both subtle and obvious signs your boyfriend picks up on. You’re more distracted, your eyes glaze over occasionally as if your mind is far away. You’re becoming more quiet. You’re lost in your thoughts because your mind is whirring with information, or because you’re desperate to get more information when you’re in that “i must research everything phase.” Of course, there are more obvious signs. You could be researching something specific for hours and hours on end, or you could be showing him the specific object of your fixation on your phone regularly. You could also be mentioning something more frequently. There was once you mentioned the same food stall 4 times in a row in the span of a 5 minute conversation, and this continued for a few days. And then there was the time you went on and on about your horrible progress in your school project for days until you finally submitted it. 

➵ Usually, your boyfriend knows you’re having a hyperfixation/ hyperfocus episode before you do. It’s an unconscious thing your mind does, and sometimes you don’t even realise your hyper fixating on something until days or even weeks later. But he knows, and you can be sure he will keep a close eye on you from that point forward. He’s more than happy to stand to the side and let you ramble or babble on about your new favourite show, food, object. He thinks it’s cute how your eyes sparkle and come to life when you find something interesting, and he loves it when you come talk to him about it. It makes him feel so special and loved because he’s one of the most important people in your life, a person you’d so willingly share your joy and interests with. Actually, what makes him the happiest (even if he doesn’t say it), is when you begin to hyperfixate on something positive related to him. There were times when you would go down a rabbit hole of sorting through your old photos and memories with him, and times when you would hyperfixate on him (or have you always been hyper fixated on him?). As irrational as hyperfixations can be, to him, he thinks it’s rational, and endearing that you go through phases where you would just be extra clingy and affectionate to him. It makes him fall in love with you all over again when he sees just how much love you have for him. 

➵ He will take a more delicate approach to your hyperfixation episodes compared to the previous group. He takes note of all the signs you exhibit when you begin to spiral. He will also assess what you’re going through at the time and your behaviour. There are times when you suddenly get into a new show when you have a whole bunch of work to do or when you’re horribly stressed. Other times, you have this overly hyper, happy smile plastered on your face when you continuously bring something up, and he can tell it is a happy facade you put up as an attempt to hide the emptiness in your eyes. It’s your mind’s way of protecting you and dealing with your emotions. You’re avoiding the root cause of your problems and jumbled emotions by fixating on something that makes you feel like you’re not you. Shows, food, characters, a new game, these things help you feel other emotions and it makes you feel other emotions besides anxiety, stress, depression. Then there are also times when you’re so stressed and burnt out dealing with work where you’re just sitting at your desk staring at your screen blankly while your mind goes into overdrive trying to force something out. 

➵ As soon as he realises you’re spiraling for negative reasons, he’ll try to do all he can from becoming sucked into the deep abyss of your mind. For you, it feels as if you’re approaching a whirlpool, you are stuck and all you can do is let the current pull you in. You don’t have the physical and emotional strength to swim away and fight it. So he acts as a gentle ocean wave, he wants to change the direction of the current. He’s going to be that outside force you need to help you steer away from the whirlpool. The moment you exhibit the signs of a spiral due to your deteriorating mental health, he’s sitting you down and taking you into your arms gently. He understands your hyperfixation episodes are intense, and sometimes, even with him there, there’s no real way of breaking you out of it immediately. But, that’s no reason not to try to help you avoid it. He will ask you if you want to talk about it. If you do, he’ll be listening so attentively and empathetically while holding you like you’re a delicate raft about to break against the rough seas. If you don’t, he’ll take you out and pamper you. You could go for a walk to clear your mind, or go on a date. Whatever it is, he’s going to be doing everything he can to keep your mind occupied with other things and off your complicated emotions. With his help, you’ll get through this quickly and safely. And you’ll bounce back stronger than ever. 

taglist: @weird-bookworm @wonijinjin @babyleostuff @wishing-fieshes @kwanienies @mayashu @megseungmin @porridgesblog @haecien @mirxzii @scoupsofcherries @eightlightstar @brownsugarbaybee @zaggprincess2 @nonononranghaee @hrts4hanniehae @treehouse-mouse @vcutparis @heavenfilm

#caratsland #k-labels #illuminated ocean.net #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fanfic #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #seventeen headcanons #svt x reader #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol fluff #jeonghan x reader #joshua hong x reader #jun x reader #hoshi x reader #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo fluff #woozi x reader #dokyeom x reader #mingyu fluff #mingyu x reader #minghao x reader #seungkwan x reader #vernon x reader #dino x reader #shu's archive ✎ᝰ.

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

Oh oh oh can I request the Diasmonia boys having a nightmare about losing the MC and waking up to them beside them, relieved that it was just a dream and cuddling them?

Lilia Vanrouge:

Lilia woke up in a cold sweat, a little shaky but otherwise he seemed totally normal. He had been dealing with nightmarish things since he was young, and he thinks this might be why he can envision such horrible things happening to you. He was constantly tugged this way and that,  never getting to choose his own path until much later in his life. He’s able to have a sigh of relief when he sees you laying in bed next to him, reaching out to touch stroke your hair, being careful not to wake you. He felt a little foolish now but he knew there were plenty of enemies roaming the earth who would be eager to take you from him, so if he wasn’t careful… No, he’d rather not think negatively now, not when you’re looking so cute beside him.

Malleus Draconia:

Malleus woke up to a storm outside, sighing as he realized he couldn’t control his emotions in his sleep and that if he didn’t get a hold on that it could prove to be a problem in the future. He took a moment to gather his thoughts, the dream coming back to him in full color despite the fact he’d rather forget it. It had been an old fear, one of losing you to some random circumstance that was so far out of his control even he felt useless, but it seemed to have reared its ugly head again. He could still feel the warmth of your body beside him despite the now chilly night, sliding back down in bed and wrapping his arms around you from behind. You find his grip is iron tight the next morning, not allowing you to slip out of it until he had risen as well.

Sebek Zigvolt:

Sebek just felt irritated, disappointed, he had been trained as a bodyguard his whole life and he was quite proud to say that he was good at it. He knew how to fight, he knew how to use his magic, he knew how to look for signs of danger—Why did dream him have to be so easily influenced by emotion? Why did dream him not act and instead remain frozen in fear as he was confronted with one of his worst nightmares? He’s squirming in bed as he tried to get back to sleep which quickly woke you up, startling him when he heard your sleepy voice asking him what was wrong. He mumbled out something incoherent before sternly telling you to go back to bed, his nightmare slowly ebbing away as you rested your head on his chest and threw an arm across him.

Silver:

Silver felt tears prick at the corner of his eyes as he rose, hands rubbing at his eyes as he tried to wipe the sadness and sleepiness away. It was too vivid for him to stomach and he found himself pushing the memories of the nightmare with all his might, frustrated that such a shining weakness was showing itself now. He knew his father had once talked about the fact that our loved ones could always be used to exploit vulnerability, but Silver had trained hard since that moment. He wanted to protect all those around him but most of all you, who laid beside him now completely unaware of the emotional turmoil he was going through. He hesitated but nudged your arms open, resting his head against your chest so he could hear the soothing beat of your heart that eventually allowed him to fall asleep again.

#Lilia Vanrouge #Sebek Zigvolt #Malleus Draconia #Silver #TWST #Twisted Wonderland #TWST Imagines #Twisted Wonderland Imagines #TWST x Reader #Twisted Wonderland x Reader #Silver x Reader #Lilia Vanrouge x Reader #Sebek Zigvolt x Reader #Malleus Draconia x Reader

[hellobabydoll333]

LOA Reminders

Nothing is set in stone, you are constantly choosing your own story. It’s really as simple as deciding. Also makes the idea of proof useless when you are the one constantly deciding your fate.

Perspective matters. How you choose to view your circumstances, if you choose to acknowledge them at all is your choice. You give meaning to everything.

Live in the moment rather than putting your life on hold to wait for your desires, something you already have as long as you choose to have them.

Be careful what you let into your space. Not everyone has good intentions (unless you assume they do). Don’t let things that you know affect you negatively into your space, physical or mental.

Never focus too hard on a desire. Always bring the focus back to yourself

Your mindset matters… if you think you’re unable to manifest something because of whatever reason or no reason at all.. that’s exactly what’ll happen. That’s called an assumption.

Do what feels right to you. We already know that LOA is all about you. Doesn’t matter what any other person is saying to do if it doesn’t feel right or doesn’t make you feel fulfilled. Loa isn’t supposed to be some horrible task, have fun with it

Overconsumption is your enemy. Don’t do it. As I said, manifestation is a lifestyle but that doesn’t mean neglect taking care of yourself or stop doing things you enjoy to ‘focus on your desire’. No, hunny. When you think of your desire, you could remind yourself you have it or make a little routine if you want but please don’t make manifesting something your every thought. It’s happening/gonna happen/has happened (whichever you prefer) so like yk… go ahead, live.

Manifestation is a lifestyle. This is like a part 2 to the above. No matter what you’re always manifesting, whether it’s conscious (purposely/knowingly with intent) or unconscious. That doesn’t mean you make your entire existence all about manifesting consciously. Fix yourself perception of self and watch your desires flow to you.

Decide & let go. Decide you have your desire, do whatever makes you fulfilled and then go on with the rest of your day.

Don’t idolize anyone outside of yourself. I’ve been in loa for a few years and yes, only recently did it start clicking, but bc I’ve been in it for a few years, I’ve seen all the OGs. These blogs were idolized like crazy by readers & anons- instead of idolizing yourself you gonna idolize someone else? No. Y’all, a lot of the times we’re also still learning and still making mistakes and slipping up. I know I am. And that’s okay, but that’s just a reason why you shouldn’t put ANYONE but yourself on the pedestal. Your journey is about YOU, not anyone else.

#angeldust.mp3 #dream girl #it girl #loass post #self concept #law of assumption #loass angel #loassumption #loa #loa tumblr #Neville Goddard #shifting #reality shifting #gifs not mine #gifs aren’t mine

[oleander-nin]

How do you think the yan turtles would react to the person they like having a crush on someone else?

A/N, not important: Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

CW: Stalking, jealousy, yandere behavior, murder, phone tapping, obstruction of privacy, tampering with messages, dark themes

Words: 1027

Summary: Headcanons of the yandere rottmnt when their love interest has a crush

Tag list: @f1oricide

Michelangelo:

You having this crush puts a crack in his perfect world view of you and him. He’d always thought that because he was obviously the one for you, you’d never stray from his side. Finding out about the person you admire makes him cranky and more clingy, his jealousy growing.

He’s in constant denial of your crush. You’re obviously in love with him, this is just a stupid puppy love that won’t last a week.

Despite hating hearing about it, he’ll be the one who offers to give you advice and such with your crush, constantly talking them down and trying to make you see them in a negative light. He’ll bring up their every fault and make things up to get you to hate them. He just wants you to see how obviously awful they are for you, digging down and trying to get rid of them in your mind.

Hang outs increase tenfold. He’s always wanting you to come over now and spend time with him instead of your friends or your crush. He’ll do everything to win you over, showering you with gifts and compliments. He’ll try to slide in little comments of how good he is with you, hoping to make you love him instead.

He’s much more reluctant to let you leave, always trying to come with reasons for you to stay by his side for as long as possible. He’ll insist on going everywhere with you, following you from the rooftops wherever you go. He’s terrified of your crush or you making a move while he isn’t watching.

If it comes down to it, he’ll visit your crush himself. He’ll threaten them first, but if they don’t back off, he’ll get rid of them. He’s always happy to let you lean on his shoulder while you cry. He can’t wait to comfort you now that they're finally gone.

Donatello:

Absolutely furious at the notion. If he doesn’t kidnap you right off the bat, he’ll immediately start to try and steer you away from them. He’ll dig up dirt and hack their phone to plant evidence of them being awful. 

If he’s able to hack into their messages and such, he’ll send you hurtful messages from their accounts to drive a wedge between the two of you. He’s happy to help comfort you after you receive the ‘hate’ from your crush.

Deletes any apologies or meets ups from your phone and your crushes, making sure neither of you could ever make plans or apologize over text.

Starts talking himself up more when around you, stringing in little spiteful comments towards your crush in every conversation. After he makes you small trinkets or fixes your phone, he’ll be smug and compare himself to your crush.

Starts watching you more intently, not even letting up when you’re at school. He’ll text you more during the day so your mind stays on him.

If the crush persists longer than Donnie can handle, he’ll just kill your crush or kidnap you. Maybe even both if your admiration for them is strong enough. 

He doesn’t trust you around others anymore, wanting to keep you safe by his side and away from any others that might ‘corrupt your mind’.

Raphael:

Is terrified and very angry. 

He’s afraid this possibly dangerous stranger is taking you away from him, his anger towards your crush growing every time their name leaves your mouth or you get the spaced out love look when you think of them. 

Your crush quickly becomes enemy number one in his mind. Everything that goes wrong, Raph blames them. You had a bad day? Crush’s fault. You can’t hang out because of homework? Your crush must’ve distracted you in class when you usually finish it. Everything and anything becomes their wrong-doing.

Raph’s the quickest to jump to killing them, his anger building as the delusion that they caused everything wrong in the world grows. He wants to get rid of them as soon as possible, the idea of them alive and in your life boiling his blood. Raph’s self-appointed job is to protect you, and if you’re off with someone who obviously causes you so much pain, the simple solution is to get rid of them.

Raph babies you for a while after he gets rid of your crush, slowly keeping you at the lair more and more before not letting you leave. You’re safer with him, after all. He can’t risk you falling in love with someone other than himself again.

Leonardo:

Tries to play it cool. Leo doesn’t get angry often, but this alone makes him heated. He feels betrayed by you, that your diverting love is a personal attack to him. He doesn’t care that you weren’t in love with him beforehand, you’re his. 

He’s upset with you for choosing someone over him. He thought you loved him, even if it wasn’t as much as he loved you.

He becomes a lot more clingy with you, holding you close and trying to spend as much time with you as possible in hopes you’ll forget your crush.

Deletes them from your phone and constantly blocks them whenever he can. He doesn’t want you talking with them, and guilt trips you whenever you blow him off to hang out with your crush or someone else instead.

He’ll grumble about it for days before deciding what to do. He’s getting rid of your crush no matter what, but how he wants to do it depends entirely on how in love with them you are.

Keeps you close to him and pretends to be interested in your crush, wanting to get as much information on the person who won over your affections.

Kidnaps you as soon as he gets rid of your crush. He won’t even wait to wash the blood off his hands before bringing you home and setting you up in his room. He hates sharing your love, and refuses to wait long enough to let them win over your heart even more. You’ll forgive him one day, he’s sure of it, but as long as he has you in his arms he doesn't care.

#rottmnt #tmnt #rise of the tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt donnie #yandere tmnt #yandere rottmnt #rise leo #Yandere Donnie #Yandere Mikey #Yandere Leo #Yandere raph #Yandere tmnt headcanons #yandere tmnt x reader #rottmnt x reader #tmnt x reader #yandere tmnt 2018 #tmnt headcanons #Yandere writing #leo tmnt #tmnt 2018 #Yandere Leonardo #yandere michelangelo #yandere raphael #yandere donatello #yandere donnie x reader #yandere raph x reader #yandere leo x reader #yandere mikey x reader

[thetriplets3]

"you never have to worry about me leaving" w matt?

like, reader had just gotten into it w her parents and they said something along the lines of, "you're unlovable, just wait till that little boyfriend of yours leaves." or smth like that

please and thank you !! 😊😊

❝𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠❞

again i hope this makes sense and that it’s what you wanted

warnings: bad relationship with parents arguing with parents, negative thoughts, relationship doubts, i think that’s all

my parents and i have never seen eye to eye on things, they constantly find things to start arguments about but they never go this far or personal.

“you’re insufferable how does that boyfriend of yours deal with you? you’re exhausting to be around i’m shocked he hasn’t left you yet it’s only a matter of time!” my parents yell, faces red with anger.

this has gone on for so long i don’t even know why they started yelling in the first place, i just zoned out, my thoughts wandering to their words.

how could my parents say that to me? if i’m so insufferable and unloveable to be around why am i even here? am i that much of a burden on everyone? why does anyone keep me around? they probably just feel bad for me. does matt even love me or is it pity? is he just playing me? when will he leave me? why hasn’t he yet?

without thinking i quickly stood up and made my way to my car not even thinking to put shoes on, my mind solely focused on getting out of here. silently i drive to matt’s house, no music, no tears, no thoughts just feeling numb.

i could see matt watching me as i sit in my car with my head slumped against the steering wheel trying to collect myself before going inside. he never left his window, sensing something was wrong he allowed me space to come in when i was ready to.

getting out of the car i let out a sigh and take a deep breath of fresh air in as i make my way to their apartment, letting myself in. giving nick and chris who were in the living room a small hello i headed straight for matt’s room. softly i knock on his door waiting for permission to enter.

“come in baby” he calls out.

he had closed the blinds and turned on his LED lights to blue, knowing i prefer softer lights. he was sitting in bed with his back against the headboard, duvet pulled back, and arms open ready for me to crawl into.

“i’m glad you’re here, i missed you, love. i was gonna text you to see if you wanted to come over and cuddle you must have read my mind” he said, keeping his volume low to match to softness in the room.

with my head on his chest i stayed quiet not know what to say or how to bring it up. he knows about the arguments with my parents but he doesn’t know how intense they’ve gotten and i’m scared to tell him in fear that what they said will be true. he feels my breaths becoming fast and shaky as tears start falling. opting to calm me down instead of forcing me to talk, he runs his fingers delicately up and down my back for a bit before settling in my hair gently massaging it.

“you don’t have to tell me anything. i just need you to calm down you’ll make yourself sick sweetheart” he reassures, taking deep breaths himself, encouraging me to match his breathing as he whispers gentle encouragements in my ear.

this goes on for quite a while before i feel calm enough to tell him what happened.

in the quietest voice i explain what they said, “i don’t even know what i did to make them start yelling at me in the first but they said i’m insufferable and exhausting to be around and they don’t know how you put up with me and they’re shocked you haven’t left me yet” i take a shaky breath. “why are you even with me why haven’t you left me already?” tears pool in my eyes.

“hey hey it’s okay, breath baby. i’m happy you feel safe with me to tell me that” he sits up straighter and pulls me to sit on his lap so we’re face to face. “you are not insufferable and you are not exhausting to be around. you’re the complete opposite i can’t spend a second without you and when i do you’re all i think about. i’m with you because i love you, i love the way you care for people, how gentle you are, how giddy you get when you pass a dog on the street. there’s nothing not to love about you. i’ll spend the rest of my life showing you you deserve to be loved. you never have to worry about me leaving. i’m in it for the long run your stuck with me”

“thank you matt. i’m sorry i questioned our love for me. i love you baby i’m glad you’re here, forever”

“i love you sweet girl, get some rest i’m never leaving”

taglist: @antisocialties @iluvmatt @dwntwn-strnlo @fake-coolbeans @opheliaofficial07 @angelcake-222 @oneirophobic @strniolo @lollibumblebee @ssturniolo @20nugs @abbie13sworld @strniolo @luvsturniolo

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #readers pov #matt sturniolo fluff

[glitzreyasblog]

reminders for when you’re doubting and spiraling

𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎’𝗋𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖽 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝖺

@𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐳𝐫𝐞𝐲𝐚

first, the most important thing to know is that it’s okay. be frustrated, be sad. You’re allowed to experience regular human emotions, it doesn’t take away anything from your manifestations. You said you had what you wanted, so you do! nothing can take that away from you, not even the negative emotions you’re feeling right now.

☆ doubting that you won’t get your desire? that manifesting will “fail”?

hey! remember, you can’t have something in the 3D unless self has it first. If there’s nothing for the 3D to reflect then nothing will change, so inner fulfillment is important and truly is key. the only thing the 3D can do is reflect self, it can’t deny you your desire. It can’t decide to not reflect. It can’t create on its own. So don’t worry about the 3D not reflecting!

I get that your frustrated but please remember that the only thing for there to be reflected is self. And when you have doubts where does that come from? Self. That’s not meant to scare you, im putting that here so you know your doubts aren’t bigger than you. Your doubts come from you, they come from the anxious part of you that doesn’t want to be let down. They come from the part of you that is scared that manifestation won’t work. And it’s okay to be scared! just know that your doubts aren’t facts. Just because you have a doubt doesn’t mean the doubt is right. You don’t have to identify with your doubts, you’re allowed to simply let your negative thoughts pass.

there is no way to fail. The law works for everyone and you are not an exception. You’ve been assuming all your life, you’ve applied the law knowingly or unknowingly to the negative things. Now apply the law when it comes to what you want. Don’t let the fear of failing hold you back. “What if it doesn’t work?” Don’t let that thought stop you from even trying. You can do this.

☆ think that your progress has been ruined? that you somehow messed up and now your desire is gone? that the effort you put into manifesting has been erased?

nothing can mess up your manifestation. the only thing that could ever get in your way is you— I know that sounds harsh at first but when you think about it, it becomes a little bit reassuring. things can’t get ruined unless YOU let them be ruined, you have the power. No outside force can take your desires away from you. Not even your circumstances can intervene with your manifestations. Sure, things can happen in the 3D but at the end of the day you are the one that chooses if the 3D gets any say in your manifestations.

You don’t have to constantly do methods and techniques to get your desire and flip every negative thought constantly, you’re not a machine. your desire doesn’t go away if you stop doing a technique, if you feel a negative emotion, or think a negative thought. Your desire is still yours! Absolutely nothing can take it away from you, you chose what you have and what you don’t. You can think and feel what you want, as long as you know you have what you want then you’re good.

You’ve already identified with having your desire, nothing can take your identity away from you.

☆ what if I’m not doing enough?

we’ve been told our entire lives that things take hard work and time, so it’s only natural that we feel like we need to be constantly working to get our desire. even though we know that it’s possible to manifest in an instant, we still have the subconscious urge to constantly put in effort because that’s what was normal to us. It’s okay to feel that way! just know that you are doing enough and that nothing else needs to be done! be fulfilled and then move on, when you’re reminded of your desire remember that you have it! remind yourself that your only job is to change self, to have it in imagination. that doesn’t mean you have to constantly affirm or visualize, it just means fulfilling yourself when you’re in need of fulfillment. the law isn’t something that requires work, you only need faith. Instead of trying to always do manifestation methods in order to feel like you’ve done enough, let yourself feel relieved because you can get what you want without having a to constantly put hard work and effort. Eliminate the feeling of “I haven’t done enough” by reminding yourself that:

1. That’s not how the law works

2. enough has already been done, your desire is already yours so no more work is required

₊✧˚﹕︶︶︶﹕૮₍ ⸝⸝´ ꒳ `⸝⸝ ₎ა﹕︶︶︶﹕ ˚✧₊

I’ll make a part two soon! ♡

#instant manifestation #law of assumption #manifest #manifesting #3d reality #affirmations #neville goddard #loa #manifesation #scripting #subliminal #how to manifest #manifestation advice #loassblog #loassumption #loa tumblr #loa blog #edward art #self concept #affirmations for doubts #the void state #void state #desired body #desired face #master manifestor

[cecilxa]

hi is it alright if i request kaeya, diluc and thoma (separate) with a reader who feels very insignificant next to them and their achievements, hurt to comfort pls <333

i see you, i cherish you

contents: hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationships, gn!reader, monologues in each part so have fun with that haha

cw: negative thoughts, overall sadness and insecurites, feelings of emptiness, crying, food

a/n: first of all, ty anon for being incredibly patient! i'm so so sorry this took so long to fulfill, but i really hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

kaeya– pavo ocellus

Even with one eye, you consider Kaeya to have achieved and gone through so much you couldn’t even imagine happening to yourself. From losing his parents to another parent, and on top of that, his rather- for lack of better words- rocky relationship with his brother, he’s gone through so much and emerged so strong. This comes to the problem at hand. You. Even though he may not have such a clean and honest reputation, people still respect him, evident through their affirming glances and the straightening of their backs whenever he walks by. You, on the other hand, are merely thought of as an accessory, an addition to his ever-growing collection of precious items, tagging along for the sake of it. 

It’s draining to keep thinking like this, you know, but you can’t help the thoughts that constantly invade your mind, constantly reminding you of how insignificant you are compared to Kaeya. You’ve done nothing of value; you’ve done nothing to help the people of Mondstadt, and you’ve done nothing for yourself at this point! He seems like such a respected figure, and you seem so little compared to him, you might as well just live your life inside forever and no one would notice you were gone. 

Tears start escaping from your eyes, and you don’t bother to try and catch them with your mouth like you did when you were younger, because what’s the point? You’re going to eventually start crying again, and again and again. You’re just not important enough and you haven’t done enough and you just feel so small, and so empty. Curling up into the foetal position, you let the sadness wash over you.

—

Kaeya hurries back to your shared home. He’s been looking forward to this, the thought of holding you in your arms and being able to kiss your delightful mouth is enough motivation for him to be tying up any loose ends his (interrogations) job may bring and finishing up the stacks of paperwork his other colleagues have piled up out of laziness. Honestly, some people these days have no moral integrity!

Unlocking the door, and walking in, he immediately notices how quiet it is. That’s strange, considering how he can usually find you either in the kitchen, preparing some form of dinner whenever he comes back home late, or in the hallway right in front of him, welcoming him back home instead. There’s no one in either of those rooms, and when he calls out your name and no one calls back, he begins to get worried. He can’t lose you, not ever, so when a fresh wave of panic tries to take over, he tries his hardest to stay calm and think about things logically. The next thing to do would be to check upstairs. He’s bounding up them, two at a time, his strides revealing how much he’s actually worrying about your welfare, but he doesn’t even reach the top when he hears your cries. 

Not even caring anymore, he bursts inside your bedroom to find you curled up on your bed, body wracking with tears, shaking periodically. A myriad of emotions swirl through him. Anger, at whoever made you feel like this- he stores a mental note to free up some time later that week- relief- well, at least you aren’t missing or gone, but most of all, sorrow. Sorrow at your sorry state, sorrow at the fact you feel like this, sorrow that echoes deep in his bones; a sorrow that makes his heart twinge in uncomfortable ways. He walks over to the bed, and lies next to you, facing your body. 

Gently wrapping his arms around you, he whispers sweet nothings as you cry into his chest, each one making his eyes soften, and grip tighten.

“Please tell me what’s troubling you. I can’t have my darling all wound up, can I? It’s my duty as a knight to make sure all the citizens of Mondstadt are happy and healthy, wouldn’t you say?”

You don’t respond to his questions, like he thought you would anyway, so he changes tact.

“Darling, I beg. I don’t like seeing you upset, and know I’ll deal with anyone who tries to harm you, so please tell me what’s wrong. Whatever you say, I’ll make it right, you don’t have to lift a single finger, I promise.”

You sniffle a bit at this, tears coming slower, and you can feel his warm stare on your head, hands stroking your waist in a way that’s always made you feel relaxed. Or maybe that’s just his arms. Voice cracking up from all the crying, you respond, albeit with a wobble.

“I-I just haven’t done enough, Kaeya. I haven’t done enough!”

Bursting into a fresh set of tears, you wail into his chest once more, and once more, Kaeya shushes you. He kisses the top of your head, one that he hopes conveys his patience for you, and your words. He lets it linger for a couple of seconds before speaking again.

“To me, you’ve always been enough. Why else would you have stolen my heart, and why else would I have allowed it to happen?”

“But, you’ve just done so much and I’ve done so little!”

Kaeya frowns. He now knows what the problem is, but he feels clueless as to how you could ever feel this way. To him, you’ve done so much both for the people of Mondstadt and himself, helping out whenever you can, and always with a smile on your face.

“I’m going to stop you there, darling. Know that nobody thinks lowly of you. I may be the Cavalry Captain, but I have no horses; you may be my partner, but you are also a person. You may not see this, but everyone else can. You have done, and helped so many people that they come up to me- even when I’m out in the tavern- to talk about how you had helped them that same day. Apart from seeing your face, those little conversations are the highlight of my night, and they should be yours, too. So don’t worry, darling, from now on, I’ll tell you those messages and we’ll see how truly significant you actually are. I love you, wholly, and I never want you to feel like that ever again.”

His arms tighten around your waist as he presses a lingering kiss on your head. You squeeze back with the pressure of a feather, and a soft smile breaks through his face. 

diluc– noctua

There are many ways you can say the name Diluc Ragnvindr. The Darkight Hero, saving grace of Mondstadt, free from the shackles of the Knights of Favonius, or perhaps, Master of the Dawn Winery, filthy rich, yet hard-working, producing possibly the best wine in the whole of Teyvat. No matter what name people utter, it always comes along with bucket loads of respect and admiration, constantly failing to hide the fact that they hold him in extremely high regard, much higher than what you could ever hope for. People speak of his courage, perseverance, and determination (well, maybe apart from Kaeya) when all they say to you is to ask how Diluc is. 

It’s frustrating, no- it’s angering and belittling, and it’s as if you don’t have anything to stand for other than being his partner! He gets all of this respect and you just have to stand by his side! It’s as if they don’t even see you as a person with achievements, which- well, what have you done that’s worthy of praise? Nothing, you guess, maybe becoming Diluc’s partner was the peak of your life; it’s only going to go downhill from here, you’ve done nothing good, you’ve done nothing worthy; maybe you don’t deserve him at all. And- oh there the tears come, hot and salty, droplets dripping down your face. 

–

There are many ways Diluc says your name. He says it gently, with hushed undertones and comforting hugs; he says it passionately, with longing in his eyes and a bold thump in his heart. But most of all, he says it so full of love, as if you had hung all the stars in the sky, full of unending, fulfilling, admiring adoration. Whenever your name leaves his mouth, people can’t help but stop and stare; it’s just so obvious how much the Master of the Dawn Winery cares for his special someone. Whenever your name leaves his mouth, there’s an ever-present look in his eye, one that reveals everything he feels about you, a look that proclaims out his devotion. 

So when Diluc finds you- alone, sobbing violently into your pillows- he doesn’t hesitate to place you on his lap, arms cradling your fragile figure, as he utters your name again. He says it again and again, stroking your hair softly, waiting patiently (as if he wouldn’t wait an eternity) while he lets you cry into his shoulder, eyebrows slightly furrowing at the sight of seeing you so upset to get to a point like this. It’s not fair, he thinks, for you to feel like this when you deserve nothing but the opposite, and- he shouldn’t blame himself for this- but what if it has to do with him? You know he’s busy, and he knows he’s busy, but what if you’re feeling as if he doesn’t love you anymore?

Oh, what a lie, as if he could never love you, what a lie, as if he could never look forward to seeing you, as if he could never touch and kiss you as if it were his last. Those people weren’t lying when they said that he was truly in deep, too deep to ever get out of the hole he had dug for himself. Diluc doesn’t mind, though, if he’s in there with you, he would stay like that forever. 

This doesn’t fix the situation at hand, however, and as much as Diluc would like to be able to fix all of your problems, the world doesn’t work like that, and so the next best thing is to help you try and feel better.

You’re still crying, and with every sob that you let out, a piece of his heart seemingly shatters into the void, and he thinks the only way to repair it would be to see your smile again. However, you’ve changed positions to where you’re both hugging each other. You on his lap, arms around his shoulders, and his arms around your waist, sporadically kissing your cheek every once in a while. He sighs, though not at you- never at you, eyes heavy with sadness at your state, and whispers gentle words, cradling your head with his hand.

“Look at me, darling. I love you eternally. I love you with my whole heart, and I can’t even fathom how much it beats for you. I do not know why you’re crying so, but I hate it. You do not deserve whatever this is you are feeling, and I know you as much as I know the back of my own hand. To me, you are the greatest person I have ever known. You have the ability to make me feel things I didn’t know I could, and you made me love, the most important thing of all. I have slain and destroyed, but at what cost? You have healed, and perhaps that is what I love about you so. So please do not cry, darling. You have done so much for me, and you have done so much for others. I know that much, so please, can I see you smile again?

You gaze up at him, eyes widening, as they fill up with tears once more. But not sad tears this time, happy ones instead. You kiss him, salty and passionate and thankful. It’s rather amazing how he manages to find the exact words to comfort you. 

Diluc may be considered stoic, and quiet to most, but for you, he’d recite the longest scripture he could just to wipe your tears away. 

thoma- rubeum scutum

The past few days for Thoma have been particularly busy. Both the Kamisato siblings required some type of assistance that had needed to be by their side for an extended amount of time, often just accompanying them with daily tasks around Inazuma that they may need to be called to. He doesn’t mind though, because at the end of each day, even though he may arrive late, even though he may find you asleep on the couch once he finally arrives back home, he gets to see your face, and gets to carry you gently off to bed, pressing some kisses to your forehead as he does so. 

However, what Thoma doesn’t get to see, is the constant emotion of insignificance you feel next to him. You’re truly proud of him, you really are, and you’re glad he’s so busy and looked after all the time, but sometimes you wish that you could feel that way too. Sometimes you wished that you could receive the same workload as him- just to be able to say that your superiors trust you to be able to deal with larger things, like him. But you don’t and now you feel useless. Especially now, since he’s been kept working late for the Kamisato Clan, you’ve been chased by negativity for the days that he’s arrived late home, and it’s catching up to you.

It’s suffocating, you just want to be recognised by someone, for someone to be proud of you and to be able to say that they respect and admire your ethics and hardworking nature. But instead, you do mundane tasks everyday, get home, wait for Thoma, then go to sleep. You want something more; you yearn for some sort of sign in your life that you’ve achieved something, that you’ve created meaning for someone else. You just feel so tired of it all, you just want to go to sleep.

Staring at the wall blankly, you don’t even notice Thoma creeping in with a smile on his face, only to be replaced by a concerned frown. It’s the end of his gruelling week of assisting and accompanying, and there’s nothing more he wants than to be able to lay in bed with you, the one he loves with all his heart. He even prepared a cake for you to share, your favourite flavour! But when he sees you, devoid of emotion, a grim expression on your face unlike your usual self, he doesn’t hesitate to place the cake aside- all but forgotten- and rush over to where you’re sitting. 

“Baby…?” 

He whispers, almost scared to raise his voice, as if he would upset you even further. When you don’t respond, he gently raises you up to your feet, so tenderly, you know he’s done this before. He tilts your head up to look at him, and he gets scared. He gets scared at the empty look on your face, and he musters up all the love he can get (which- to be frank- is a lot) to smile at you. Even though he’s scared, the eyes are the window to the soul, and his truly reveal how much he cares for you. He searches for feeling in yours, and when he spots just a glimmer, he leans down to give you a gentle peck on the lips. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s troubling you? I’ll do my very best to sort it out, you know I’d do anything for you.”

Comforted by the sound of his voice and affirmations, you regain some feeling in your body, and you feel less exhausted. 

“Sorry, Thoma. I just- I’m not feeling too good.”

“Oh, would you like anything then? I have a really good soup recipe that I can make for you, just get some rest, and it’ll be ready in just a few minutes! I would prefer for you to feel better sooner rather than later.”

You sigh. 

“No. That’s not what I meant. I mean- well- you’ve just been so busy and I’ve been… here, doing nothing. You’ve done so much already, and I haven’t done anything at all, I just want to feel as if I’ve done something… significant like you, that’s all.”

Tears start pooling at the corners of your eyes, and Thoma hurries to wipe them away with his hands. His heart clenches at your confession, worry evident in his eyes. If only you knew how much you mean to him, how much he thinks that you’re the significant one in the grand scheme of things, and how much he values your existence. 

“No, don’t say that kind of stuff, it hurts. You know I love you so, so, so much and that I think you’ve done so much- too much- that I can’t possibly repay you. You don’t know how much you’ve impacted my life, and that I’m so grateful you came into it. I think others would agree too. I look forward to seeing you every day, y’know? You’re the highlight every single time, so don’t think of yourself as worthless, or insignificant, because I think if you weren’t here, my heart would have a massive gap right down the middle! I love you so much, baby, and it pains me to see you hurt like this, but I want you to believe that compared to me, you’re the one who shines bright. You’re the star here, not me.”

He pauses when you don’t respond. Maybe you need some time for yourself, sometimes that’s just the case. 

“I’ll make the soup now, okay? I love you.”

Turning around to head out, a pair of arms from behind him encase his waist. 

He laughs, turning around again to face you. Stroking your hair gently, he presses a kiss to your forehead, and wonders whether you can tell how much he truly loves you. How much he would do for you, and sacrifice for you. Thoma mutters a quiet ‘thank you’, and you look up at him, confused, tears still in your eyes. 

“Surely I should be the thankful one, Thoma? Thank you, though.”

Your voice goes quiet at the last part. 

He smiles softly, eyes drooping ever so slightly in admiration, in patience and in understanding. 

“My pleasure.”

a/n: tysm for reading to the end! likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! ❤️

#kaeya x reader #kaeya x you #kaeya fluff #kaeya hurt/comfort #diluc x reader #diluc x you #diluc fluff #diluc hurt/comfort #thoma x reader #thoma x you #thoma fluff #thoma hurt/comfort #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff #genshin hurt/comfort #this came out so long #I have no idea how I managed to write like this #please forgive my monologuing

[idlerin]

nonsense — 36. need you like oxygen

you still thought of kenma’s message 3 hours later.

it was a good reminder to have, everything that’s happening isn’t something controlled by a superior being pulling at the strings of fate. it was at your pace, you knew oikawa would do it at your pace, but recently, you’ve started to wonder what pace did you want it to go? because with oikawa, it was as if settling back into your previous dynamic was just… comfortable. it wasn’t easy and yet it wasn’t difficult. perhaps, it was his general presence that was familiar and secure, even so, it also felt as if you were experiencing new things with the same person who used to hold your heart.

it was still his to hold onto.

all those months and years of wallowing in fury, being hung up on something that had long since passed. something that no one could blame you for as it left a huge gash in your mind and heart. oikawa wasn’t the primary person to blame for all of the pain you experienced in the past but he was one of the catalysts, the amount of love you gave him in the past was the same love that made you blind with hate.

you’re grateful that despite everything, you received a great support system from your friends. you could say that they were a major part of why you persevered, worked hard, and keep on working hard in the present.

did you ever plan to mend your relationship with your parents? you want to, but not now. there were things you were ready for and things you were not. you think it’s completely fine to focus on things that make you happy until you’re ready to handle more strenuous things of the heart. you were just beginning to fix your relationship with oikawa, and you think that you’d like to completely mend things with him so you could face your parents together. you admit it’s unfair for you to put this expectation on him, but all you wanted was to be completely sure that he was there for you.

you wanted to be constantly assured that he was all in, not just dipping his hands again in waters he didn’t know how to handle. it was the same for you, you wanted to be a better partner, because to be honest, you still weren’t fully convinced that you deserved him. 

again, that train of thought was unfair to both you and oikawa, because you were both trying to be better. it’s not like you could stop these insecurities, you’re also trying your best to repress the negative train of thoughts but you just couldn’t help it. it’s not something to blame anyone on but yourself.

just earlier, when you were surprised to find that oikawa visited you near your university just because he wanted to see you again (where you soon found out he was conspiring with your friends who told on your possible location)— ignoring the fact that you spend practically everyday with him now, unless he had a full packed schedule, it was never enough for him, so to say, he could never get enough of you— made you feel treasured and important. you only hope you could display the same amount of affection towards him in a way that he would notice that his efforts are being reciprocated.

it was a bit difficult to confront him and be open whenever it came to work. there would always be certain boundaries set in place, and one of those would be pretending you didn’t know each other, you didn’t spend countless hours rememorizing his facial features, you didn’t spend years aching for and because of him. you both had to be professional, and you both knew what the nature of his job entailed from the very beginning.

you would always have to be careful because you didn’t know what the consequences would be.

you let out a deep breath.

you were thinking too much again, it contrasted the good mood you were in this morning. you were beginning to resonate with one of those overused corny inspirational quotes that goes along the lines of “your mind is your biggest enemy” at this moment, that cringey quote is completely relatable.

you snapped out of your daze thanks to akane nudging your shoulder. you glanced at her with blinking eyes because of being startled, “sorry, did i space out?”

“no worries, we aren’t even doing anything right now. something on your mind?” akane asked, “is it about a certain good-looking famous heartthrob you’re dating?” she wiggled her brows to tease.

you let out a chuckle and roll your eyes playfully, “whenever i space out, it isn’t always about him you know?” you hit her softly on the shoulder.

“so you’re practically saying it’s usually about him—wait,” akane made an exaggerated shocked expression, “you didn’t deny that you were dating!” she grasped your shoulders, “oh my god tell me all the details!”

“what do you mean?” you scrunched up your nose, squinting your eyes at her.

“hey whenever i used to say “dating” and you-know-who in one sentence you would always like refuse and stuff and deny it then you would deny it even more but this time you didn’t! so that means something,” akane proudly concluded.

“there’s nothing to tell,” you stubbornly say, shrugging and smirking when akane dramatically whines.

“come on, [name],” akane pleads, you know she’s been wanting to know ‘all the juicy details’ for days now.

“nope! now enough of that, where is everybody?” you just realized that you and akane were the only ones in the studio, you checked your watch and it was break time, “riseki too, did he go out to eat without us?”

akane grumbled before fixing herself up, “they all went to watch the live interview of oikawa-san in studio 2, did you not know? i came to pick you up here for that reason cause i thought you might want to watch too. although you probably see his face all the time even during non-working days but i thought it was weird you weren’t there! it’s a big deal you know cause it’s the first time this famous magazine is going to a celeb for the interview, the actors and actresses they invite usually have to come by their studio.”

oikawa mentioned that particular interview earlier in the car, he said he wanted you to watch if you were free (because he didn’t know the exact time they would drop by, you interjected then, asking “how would i know when to watch, then?” he merely answered, “i think you would notice,” he grinned at you), he said it so nonchalantly with the same amount of arrogance as usual that you didn’t think of it as such a big deal. leave it to him to act as if big things weren’t of much importance, of course you wanted to watch.

you then held onto akane’s wrist with a sudden burst of impatience, “come on let’s watch, i’ve probably missed a lot already,” you clutched her hand.

akane made a skeptical—obviously would get you some profuse teasing later on— face, “well someone’s eager.”

“yeah yeah i know, tease me about it later,” you gave up on acting cool when it came to things about oikawa and pulled on her hand to get going.

a crowd.

a crowd is what greeted you the moment you entered studio 2, it looked like everybody decided to spend their break watching oikawa’s interview. that was how enamored with him they were. you hear the whispers of “oikawa-san is so nice” and “he’s so understanding and approachable” so you knew he was definitely a staff favorite. you could even say he was the actor everyone liked the most, if the incessant fangirling and fanboying every working day wasn’t already an evident tell. among the heads of hairs, you could see a glimpse of the magazine crew (because they were unfamiliar faces) maneuvering the equipment like the lighting and fan for the interviewer and oikawa. you could only see the side of his head properly from where you were standing, but you could hear his voice.

“—still overwhelming, years into acting. i still feel like i need more experience, you know? i’m very grateful for the opportunities given to me. i could say that fate’s ridicule ways is a project that i’ve never done before so everything’s really cool,” the smooth baritone of his voice gave a funny feeling in your stomach, no matter how many times you’ve heard it before.

“ooh! i see riseki over there, c’mon [name], he’s standing closer,” akane whispers to you and is now dragging you towards riseki who was indeed nearer the set up (not without a bunch of “excuse me’s” and “oops, sorry’s”). riseki spotted the two of you and ushered you over quickly with him, he even sent you a sly wink and eyes pointedly looking at oikawa. you resist a chuckle and settle for lightly hitting his arm which he smiles-laughs at.

“hmm something you haven't done before? so are the rumors true? your character isn’t going to be one of the ‘good guys’?” the interviewer’s brows were raised, very interested in what he seemed to have discovered.

oikawa’s laughter rang through the studio, “clever, it’s better to wait till it airs,” he smirks. in the middle of his laughter and the interviewer pretending to be dismayed, your eyes met. you notice the slight tense he had on his shoulders softened, and he sends you a secret smile. he was more at ease now that he saw you in the crowd, it gave you a rush, a reminder of how much you really affected him.

“you got me with that one,” the interviewer pretended to think, “how about your rumored romance with alisa haiba’s character? with the kind of teasers coming out, with you and haiba’s pairing putting into work, both of your influences are skyrocketing, what do you have to say about that?” the interviewer sat in a curious position.

“uhm…” oikawa spent a good minute thinking, “i don’t really have anything to say, sorry,” he laughs again, “it’s insane how much people like seeing us together, alisa and i are good friends, i only wish well for both her and i’s careers.”

the interviewer nodded, “alright onto the next—oh just the right question. which actor or actress in fate’s ridicule ways do you like working with the most?” the look on their face insinuated that they already had an expected answer, they were only waiting for oikawa to say it.

the interviewer wanted tooru to mention alisa’s name.

that would surely make thousands of fans go insane. you gulped, you’ve seen fans on the internet ship them, to the point of even making compilations of the limited clips tooru and alisa had together, giving meaning to actions neither actors had thought twice of. they were currently one of the internet’s most talked about on-screen couples despite the show not having been aired yet. you tried to not let it bother you that much since it was inevitable due to the nature of their characters and tooru and alisa’s chemistry even you couldn’t deny.

after all, it was all just work and at the end of the day you were the one presence oikawa seeked to have near all the time.

that was supposed to assure you, it was supposed to be enough.

but it’s not.

again, it’s no one’s fault but yours, that’s why you have to act like normal and not like jealousy is absolutely eating you alive.

ah, that sounds wrong, it’s like you’re making yourself out to be some easily bitter person. you have no ill will towards alisa, in fact, you adore her. maybe it really was different when you know that the person you’re in love with couldn’t flaunt you freely at all.

were you really not cut out for this? if you didn’t break up 3 years ago, would you have broken it off eventually?

“i don’t really have a favorite person to work with, everyone’s really talented and nice—” oikawa began.

“what about haiba-san?” someone from the crowd couldn’t help but shout. it was one of the regular staff, and they must have been forced to shut up by someone nearby because all you could hear after was a muffled grumble of protest.

since the world is cruel, that's when oikawa’s eyes met yours again. he must have seen something he didn’t like because his face contorted into displeasure. you wondered what kind of expression you were making right now for him to look so concerned.

“oh? you heard them, looks like you and alisa have fans even among the crew,” the interviewer tried pushing it.

right then, you felt akane’s hand grabbing yours and comfortingly caressing it with her thumb.

oikawa shook his head, “alisa is lovely to work with, but i don’t have a favorite workmate,” he was suddenly a bit more serious, he must have realized he sounded too stern because he let out a smile, “i can’t just possibly choose only one, we’re all one big family on set.”

the interviewer finally let it go once he realized he really wasn’t going to get anything from oikawa. they moved on to the next questions and the rest of the interview flowed smoothly. the whole time, oikawa kept sneaking glances at you as if at any moment you would storm out and disappear. he acted as he usually did and he did it well, but you notice that the slight tense on his shoulders was back again.

you couldn’t focus properly the whole time too, but you didn’t want to leave. you didn’t want to miss this interview since oikawa wanted you to watch, because of that you want to be there to see the whole thing through. whenever one of those sneaky glances came to be, you gave him a small smile to assure him that you were fine and he was doing great.

the interview concluded and everyone started to disperse, going back to their assigned tasks. you only see oikawa and the interviewer shaking hands, having a little chat. you don’t know why you’re hoping you could have time to talk to him a bit, it didn’t look like he had a moment to slip away from the spotlight. maybe in the silly little head of yours you just wanted to have a one-on-one talk with him, if you do that, maybe the erratic beating of your heart that isn’t due to excitement would stabilize.

riseki tapped your shoulder, “they’re calling the interns over, i think we have to help with some paperwork,” he said to both you and akane. riseki gave you a concerned look but before he could say something you cut him off by grabbing his hand and tugging akane over.

“what are you both waiting for then? let’s go,” you force out a laugh.

you fail to notice the glance oikawa sent your way.

which means you also failed to notice his dismayed expression, he wanted a chance to talk to you before he went back to filming again. what happened earlier must have fed into your insecurities again, oikawa knows of it because of the things you’ve told him before. he just wanted to make sure you were okay, you were just slowly giving him your trust again, he doesn’t want to accidentally lose it again.

it was awful timing that tooru and alisa had a specific scene they had to film together today. that scene had to be the one that required both of them to be in extremely close proximity. you were even more unluckier that you had to assist one of the professionals during their scene. It was their confrontation scene you think, you read through their script due to oikawa just leaving it around in his penthouse. he didn’t mind you reading the manuscript but you don’t think it’s particularly something he’s allowed to do (he doesn’t care).

you can suffer for a few minutes, it’s fine, it won’t mean anything to either of them, so it’s fine. have you said that it’s fine? it’s fine, you’re fine.

so yes you can suffer for a little while.

and suffer you do.

“where do you think you’re going, emira?” oikawa (technically, oikawa’s character, dion) whispers to alisa. oikawa backs alisa into the wall, one of his hands holding a (fake) gun on the side of her head, his other hand grasping at her waist. it wasn’t a romantic scene in hindsight, but the enticing tension they were portraying was undeniable, “do you think i would just let you off?” his hold on her waist tightens ever so slightly.

“don’t be silly dion, i know you better now,” alisa spoke, acting as calm despite the obvious threat to her—emira’s—life. “you won’t shoot me,” she says confidently, looking oikawa straight in the eye.

“hm?” oikawa was amused, “but i’ve always wanted to get rid of you though? this is the perfect opportunity,” he fiddles with the gun, twisting it and smiling maniacally. you got the chills, you were so busy watching oikawa’s performance that you momentarily forgot where you were.

“you still need me,” alisa said, taking oikawa’s hand, the one holding the gun and placing it beneath her temple, “and i’m not scared of you.”

they were so close now, oikawa and alisa were a hair’s breadth away while you were the one feeling breathless.

“you’re bothersome, you should’ve stepped out of this mess a long time ago,” the hand oikawa had on her waist rose to her nape to tilt her head higher, “and yet you’re still here.”

“am i bothersome? or do i just make you feel things you shouldn’t dion?” alisa said.

he fell in love with her.

oikawa gave her a cruel smile, “you’re right… i fell in love with you,” he nudges the gun up harshly, “it’s not the nice kind of love, though,” he then starts letting go of the gun, letting it fall off to the side, “i want you in ways you wouldn’t.”

his hand that once held the gun now held alisa’s chin between his index and thumb, staring at her lips, that’s when she responds, “i don’t have to want it to like it, do i?”

that’s it.

you couldn’t take it anymore.

it was so frustrating how you were so… being so… childish, totally irrational, and how you were losing your mind over it. you were being unreasonably jealous and it’s starting to consume your train of thought.

“cut!” the director clapped, oikawa and alisa stepped away from each other and both began to be pampered by assistants, “perfect! that was great, the tension exuded was very alluring, it was amazing, it looked perfect,” the director looked and acted delighted, “i need a retake of the last few lines though, oikawa, maybe you could lean a bit more closer to alisa? and alisa could you make your expression look more like you don’t want it–but you do, do you get me? alright.”

both actors nodded and conversed about what they should do, oikawa took this slight break to look for you in the crowd too. he saw you, but you were heavily avoiding direct eye contact with him and it was very much obvious to him who seeks your attention so persistently.

your thoughts were all over the place, you definitely did not want to witness oikawa and alisa doing that last part again. luckily, the world gives you kindness this time around and the personnel you were assisting put you aside and told you heavenly words, “that’s all for my work today, thank you for your help. i think you could clock out early now too, just drop by your head kiddo.”

“thank you,” like actually thank you so much i can not handle more of that anymore, thank you so much! thank you! thank you! thank you! you said, you were very thankful in a lot of ways. he smiled at you before waving you farewell, you turn around and go to where riseki was standing to tell him you were allowed to leave early so you might just go ahead. “i’m almost done too, could you wait for me? akane might also be done in a few, maybe we could all drink out—moderately. what do you think?” riseki asked, you laughed when he said moderately probably because of your antics the last time you all went out drinking… and your thinking of oikawa again god. 

“sounds fun, i’ll roam around out though for a bit, i just don’t want to uhm…” you didn’t know how to word it properly, riseki looked to the center where the filming was going on and immediately understood. “it’s cool, i’ll ring you,” riseki nods and you smile at him before heading out.

you didn’t know what to do and you didn’t mean what to do while waiting for akane and riseki. you just didn’t know what to do to solve your complicated emotions, what could you do to make yourself be at ease? you understand that it’s normal, these kinds of feelings are always normal, but you don’t want it to be something normal because it’s such an awful feeling to have.

you started walking to calm yourself and your racing thoughts.

it was just… does he really not feel anything for the other person when he has to act scenes similar to that? how could he detach himself from the character he’s playing? you know that it’s all just a part of his job description. he was an actor, it was literally in the name. that’s why you were even more disappointed in yourself because it’s just nonsensical how you were reacting to this.

with this.. this ugly uncontrollable emotion that makes you want to cry.

but you’re not going to cry, you don’t want to cry anymore, you’ve been crying a lot these days and such a measly thing like this would not bring you to tears. you just need to take a deep breath, you can stay annoyed and frustrated with yourself but you will not result in waterworks.

you refuse.

you didn’t realize how far you’ve gotten on your walk, you managed to reach the park nearby. you then feel your feet starting to ache, it really does you no good to walk so far and for so long. as you were approaching a bench to rest on you felt a drop on your head. you tilted your head up and raindrops started pouring slowly one by one. shit, it was going to rain and you didn’t bring your bag with you, you only had your wallet and phone.

you reach in your pocket to get your phone out, just as you were about to call akane, your phone dies.

it died.

you’ve got to be kidding me.

there was nothing near to shield yourself from the rain, as is, if you ran towards the nearest shelter—which would probably take way too long to run towards, also would be very tiring and would not be worth much of your effort—you would be soaked thoroughly anyways. so what would be the point! you were tired, frustrated, and annoyed as you plopped yourself on the bench and let yourself be drenched by the rain with an angry look on your face.

you give up!

while you were accepting your fate and decided to angrily sit on a bench in the rain, back in the studio they were wrapping up oikawa and alisa’s scene. oikawa was in his trailer pacing back and forth because you weren’t answering any of his calls. all of his scenes for the day were done and he hoped you hadn’t already left because he wanted to take you home, but you couldn’t be contacted. were you upset with him? is that why you weren’t responding to him? he bit his lower lip in anxiousness, he was beginning to become really worried and started to think of possible situations you could be in as to why you couldn’t pick up your phone.

it made him worry more.

a knock on the door had him fix himself up as much as he could to look the least bit more composed, “sato?” he called, thinking it was his manager.

“uhm… no, sorry… it’s uh riseki, [name]’s friend, a fellow intern,” riseki began, oikawa instantly opened the door the moment he heard riseki mention your name. he knew this guy as one of the people that knows about the true nature of you and oikawa’s relationship.

“do you know where she is?” oikawa asked hurriedly which made riseki step back, he caught himself, “sorry.. i was just trying to contact her but she wasn't answering her phone. maybe you know where she is?” he smiled.

“that’s what i came to you about oikawa-san, she wasn’t answering my calls either. she left around 30 or so minutes ago to take a walk because she was going to wait for akane—another intern— and me so we could all go out. i thought of letting you know because well… she seemed to be in an awful mood when she left and i’m worried, you might know better how to face her and make her feel better you know? so yeah that was my train of thought but then it started to rain—” riseki got cut off.

“it’s raining and she’s out there?” oikawa was worried now, knowing you, you were probably drenched in the rain. oikawa looked around his trailer for an umbrella and grabbed the first one he saw.

“yeah so i—”

oikawa ran past him.

he ran frantically across the place, making some of the staff look over him in confusion, it wasn’t everyday you see him look and act so scatterbrained. good thing there was another scene being filmed as of now so the attention wouldn’t be on him, no one would look for him aside from his manager. the only thing on his mind was where you might have gone, he was worried sick. you couldn’t have wandered that far, right?

oikawa braved the rain and started heading out, if you were upset when you left riseki, oikawa deduced you were walking to clear your head, which meant you probably walked mindlessly for the most part so it would be difficult to figure where you could have went. oikawa wandered around the streets for a while, calling out your name in hopes you would respond. he was growing more and more restless. he had to think, think where you could possibly go.

there was a park near the studio, it was a 15? 20? minute walk away… could you have gone all the way there?

his feet started moving before he could finish his thought. the rain wasn’t forgiving and seemed to become harsher with every minute that passed, he didn’t want to waste another second. minutes felt as if it were eternity when the park came into oikawa’s periphery. he still kept calling out your name, he ran around the place before finally spotting your familiar figure sitting on one of the benches.

oikawa ran towards where you were, slowing down when he was inches away from you and his shadow covered yours, “[name],” he uttered in relief. he notices how soaked you were, from your hair to your clothes, his brows furrowed and he leaned the umbrella he was holding until it was hovering over you completely. he didn’t care that he was now getting ambushed by the rain, you were more important.

“i was looking everywhere for you,” oikawa says again, despite the harsh rain being too loud and muffling his voice, he wasn’t sure if you could hear him properly.

you said nothing back.

your head was lowered and it made oikawa more concerned, which is why he resorted to kneeling in front of you even if there was a wet patch on the ground. so he could be the one to look up at you and he could finally see your face. he was successful in his endeavor since this way, he does get to see your face. a pretty face that was looking at him in confusion, oikawa returned the look with a small smile.

“what are you doing?” were the first words you uttered to him, it made oikawa glad even if you sounded appalled.

“i wanted to see my pretty darling’s face, but she didn’t want to look at me,” oikawa said dramatically as he held the umbrella steady over your head, “you know i was calling you a lot, but you weren’t answering, i was worried sick, baby.”

“my.. phone died,” your mouth went agape, you were flabbergasted that he came all the way here to look for you, that you weren’t completely registering everything that was happening, so you blurt out your first observation, “get up from the ground, it’s wet and dirty,” you scolded.

“not important right now,” he says, “why did you run off here hm?” oikawa observes your face to check if there were any tear stains mixed in with the rain drops.

“i just wanted time alone,” you reply, looking to the side to avoid his gaze again.

“why did you just sit here in the rain?” he asks.

“the nearest shop is too far,” you mumble, fidgeting with the bottom of your shirt as you persistently avoid his gaze as much as you can.

oikawa found it a bit funny how it was just so you to not seek shelter just because it wasn’t worth your energy, but he didn’t get to ponder much on how amusing it is because he didn’t like that you won’t meet him in the eye, “did my darling cry?”

that made you look at him, to give him a piercing glare, but at least you looked at him, “i didn’t cry.”

oikawa felt that the mood was too gloomy, he couldn’t help but tease you, “my crybaby didn’t cry?”

“shut up,” you tried kicking him but accidentally splashed him with water instead. you looked apologetic but you didn’t say the words outright.

“hey! you’re the one that said that was dirty but you’re splashing me with it?” oikawa seemed amused though, he was even laughing, “come on, are you so sorry that you can’t look at me, baby?”

you ignore him.

“darling,” he calls, using his free hand to poke your waist.

you ignore him still.

“darling,” he started to poke you continuously, “[name], baby.”

you felt a tick on your forehead.

“darling, darling, darling,” he kept poking you with a little smirk on his face and continued to chant ‘darling’ without a hitch.

“you’re so annoying, tooru!” you were irritated with him now.

oikawa began to laugh uncontrollably, he laughed so hard that he was practically sitting on the ground now. he just thought that you were so cute, he couldn’t help it. meanwhile you started getting very annoyed at his laughter that you splashed him with the rainwater, this time very much intentional. he took this as the cue that he should stand up, you felt a bit bad, oikawa looked a bit roughed up, and he was still holding the umbrella over you. you were too lost in thinking about his actions that you didn’t know how to react when he splashed you with water.

“tooru!” you shouted and stood up from the stupid bench, hitting yourself with the umbrella in the process, “oh my god!” you splashed him again with water in irritation.

oikawa instinctively stepped back and dropped the umbrella, still laughing. you stomped over to hit him on the arm constantly, and he started to back off from you, “baby stop,” he said in a fit of laughter.

he started to run back to be free of your wrath and you ran after him, biting your lower lip to cage in the incoming smile. the both of you made a strange picture right now, two grown adults chasing each other around in the rain.

“come here, oikawa tooru!” you were annoyed at how he could easily dodge your ‘attacks’.

oikawa stopped running away and slowly started walking towards you again, a wide grin on his face, “what my darling wants, she gets,” he states once he was directly in front of you. he caught your wrists before you could hit him again, “are you ready to talk now?”

you took a deep breath, “i am soaking wet from the rain, you made me run around, and it’s still raining and we just looked like total idiots,” you shook your hands, signaling him to let them go and he does. you wrapped your arms around his neck—pulling him closer to you— instead of letting them fall to your sides, which is an action that startled oikawa, “and i don’t know why, but it strangely made me feel better, so yeah, i’m ready to talk now.”

oikawa felt a nice buzz go through his system when you touched him, a sharp intake of breath, “so…?”

“i don’t like feeling like i don’t have the right to call you mine,” he was about to say something but you lifted one of the arms that were wrapped around his neck to use a hand so you could shush him. “it’s childish, and i feel awful that i’m feeling like this. i just wanted some time alone and i also want to point out that you’re not doing anything wrong, it’s just a ‘me’ thing. like i’m getting jealous of alisa and she’s lovely so i feel horrible, and i’m also getting jealous of other people you might have been in similar situations with that isn’t for acting. it’s not because i don’t trust you, i do. it’s just there’s so many people out there, how are you sure i’m the one for you?”

you glanced at his face to check for his reaction, you could tell he wanted to oppose you yet he followed your wishes and was listening to you intently, “i have a lot of problems with my self-esteem, trying to control my emotions, my attitude, and a lot of other not very nice things. i’m trying really hard to be better, for me and for you,” your voice becomes quieter at the end, you clear your throat, “that’s… that’s it.”

“[name]...” oikawa started, “i’m here no matter what, i’d stay no matter what, so i want you to know that i’m going to be beside you, always, whenever you need me.”

“i always need you,” you uttered it so low that oikawa almost didn’t catch it.

it made him melt, you make him feel so wanted and loved, “[name], i’m so in love with you and you’re the only—”

you crash your lips into his, it was so sudden that oikawa was frozen in place. you didn’t care that it was raining or that you were in a park, and this really wasn’t the right time to be confessing and kissing but here you both were. when you were about to pull away, oikawa chases your lips, it was as if he was in a trance. he grips your hips to keep you near and your arms wrapped around his neck pull him even closer. he kisses you with so much fervor and longing, you kiss him back with the same intensity.

it took a lot of willpower to pull away, “that was…” you were panting when you let go of him, oikawa almost immediately missed the warmth your touch gave, “..supposed to be just a peck.”

oikawa was staring at you intently, his eyes held hundreds and thousands of things he wanted to say. how much he adored you, how much he longed to be with you for the past years, how he wanted to tell you that there was never anyone else and there will never be anyone else because you’re the only one for him. no one would ever understand him as much as you do, no one would be able to give him comparable care and affection.

he would only ever yearn for you.

“i want more,” oikawa mumbles before reaching for you again. his hands rose from your hips to cup your face and he kissed you again. he couldn’t get enough of you, as usual.

“tooru i—” you gasp, he swallows your words with his lips. it didn’t take you long to forget about what you were going to say and let yourself get lost in him.

you were lost in each other.

the shutter of a camera was clicked from a distance.

@distanse BREAKING: Actor #OikawaTooru rumored to be romantically linked with an unknown woman, who is she and is our favorite charmer actually taken? Find out More!

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✦ fun facts !

akaashi woke up to a series of messages from oikawa begging him to tell what [name]'s favorite places near campus are and where he would usually see her if she's not at her dorm.

kuroo was invited into another stream of kenma's the night before where they played minecraft and started a roleplay-ish drama with their characters.

tsukki's current favorite song is perfect night by le sserafim (ofc it is he's a fearnot)

bokuto adopted a ladybug today.

nonsense ! an oikawa tooru social media au

synopsis. you were oikawa tooru’s #1 fan, until you became his #1 hater. you hated him so much you went viral on twitter (accidentally) and literally became known as “the oikawa tooru hater”, doesn’t help that he keeps fueling the fire by subtweeting you. everyone is all in for this new drama. what isn’t known to the public, is that this particular drama’s been on hold for three years (him being your ex and all).

a/n — who accidentally writes 6k words?? (this gal !!) anyways happy holidays my darlings !!! i miss u all how r u? (also did you guys spot the taylor swift reference? i couldn't help myself)

taglist is closed ! + (1/2) @kawaii-angelanne @ceneridiankaa @kittycasie @rukia-uchiha-98 @polish-cereal @kellesvt @rockleeisbaeeee @kashxyou @imsoluvly @jjulliette @tooruchiiscribs @littlefreakjulia @gomjohs @qualitygiantshoepsychic @mellowknightcolorfarm @komzumeken @migosple @kuroogguk @sangwooooo @katsu-shi @wolffmaiden @rijhi @2baddies-1porsche @yeehawcity @aishkaaa @crueldinasty @renardiererin @yyuiz @llamakenma @penguinlovestowrite @princelingperfect @hearts4faey @yoonabeo @pantherhappy @julia-1901 @godsbiggestmenace @angel-luv-04 @noideawhothatis @bethbat @natsvmie @luna-mothii @lylovw @apinu @leave-rae-alone @kamikokii @bananasquash @eitaababe @minimari415 @hanabihwa @nilopillo

#haikyuu smau #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #celebrity au #celebrity smau #actor au #model au #college au #haikyuu smau series #oikawa tooru x you #haikyuu oikawa tooru #exes to lovers #— nonsense. #— smaus. #haikyuu fluff #hq #oikawa tooru #haikyuu x you #hq smau