#things to work on

[lover-of-mine]

To you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it...

#911 #911 spoilers #911 fox #911 on fox #911edit #buddieedit #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #my edit #otp: you don't need to pretend with me #well this was supposed to just be 6x12 but it got out of my control at some point there okasokaosk #anyway i saw a post with the bridge of this song and sirens went on in my head #had to get up to make it #someone yell at me to go to sleep soaksoaoskaoskaoks #i need to get better at lettering skaoksoaks #things to work on #i cant believe i dont have a taylor tag

[temporary-enthusiasm]

I’m curious if my kind of blunt undescriptive writing style is just a me thing or how much it has to do with having zero ability to picture things in my head. Realistically I’m sure it’s some combination of both.

I do want to get better at being more descriptive in my writing. So that’s something to work on when I stop being lazy and actually write.

#aphantasia #writing #things to work on

[schizoid-mary]

Reconciling My Feelings of Inadequacy With My Feelings of Superiority: Mental Gymnastics, Prt. 1

My feelings of superiority directly stem from my feelings of inadequacy. In my mind, I'm hands-down the most fucked up person around, so if I can manage to (___), if I can understand (___), if I can pull off (___), if I can function in all of my dysfunction then what's everyone else's excuse?! I automatically assume that everyone else is more intelligent than I am, is more functional than I am, is more capable than I am and already "has it together", so if they're fucking up then that must mean that they're doing it on purpose, right? Who would do that though?! I would never choose to be the way I am if I had a choice (which everyone aside from me does, right?). I recognize that I'm less adequate than everyone else, I feel remorseful for the way I am and I work so hard to change and better myself while everyone else willfully and unapologetically does whatever the fuck they want. They have every advantage yet they're not even trying to be good people... That must mean that I'm morally/ethically superior, right? Because I exercise self control and fight my demons every day while no one else seems to be doing the same? Wrong. Thinking that way doesn't leave any room for human nature/human error/human experience. It's something I've had to work on: realizing and remembering that no one knows what the fuck they're doing, that we're all struggling. I shouldn't be as hard on others as I am on myself. I shouldn't be so hard on myself to begin with. This type of thinking is a product of 1) my low level of empathy and 2) viewing myself as "other"- as separate from the rest of humanity... but I'm working on those too. We all desperately need to show and be shown a little grace.

#Schizoid Personality Disorder #SzPD #journal #introspection #self reflection #schizoid #Cluster A Personality Disorders #personality disorder #mental health #mental illness #awareness #documentation #victim mentality #low empathy #lack of compassion #showing grace #understanding #self love #things to work on #being kinder to myself #superiority complex #inferiority complex #mental gymnastics #resentment towards society

[sylvies-kablooie]

i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

#i often wonder about how many things would be considered classic or high art had they only received the marketing #how many short films that were made for class could have been the most powerful thing you'd ever seen? if you'd seen them? #“you know the greatest films of all time were never made” etc etc #but like. these works of art ARE being made. it's just enjoyed by a smaller audience with equal impact though #i think about this one furry i used to follow on insta who had the coolest worldbuilding ever. it's been years. #thought prompted by that sketch of nimona from ten years ago that was just for a character design #posted to the creator's tumblr and now it's nominated for best animated feature film at the oscars #and by the genuine emotional reaction a fan comic made me feel. how much work had gone into it. how beautiful it was to me. #idk what to tag this but i hope whoever needs to hear it does #writing #writer #fandom #fandom culture #artist

[nighthawkes]

I must sleep. Sleep is the mind-healer. Sleep is the big-life that brings total ability to fucking do anything. I will face my bed. I will permit the blankie to pass over me and snores to pass through me. And when sleep has gone past I will turn the outer eye to greet the new morning. When the sleep has gone there will be everything. Energy and will to live will remain.

#having a come to Jesus with myself about trying to work late #sleep is the only path to productivity. rest is the only thing that lets me get things done. #litany against not laying down

[bloodybellycomb]

One massive, legitimate way to improve as a writer or artist or in any creative endeavor really, is to become absolutely obsessed with something and to allow yourself to be weird about it. Genuinely mean this btw.

#dc comics #disco elysium #shakespeare #hamlet #scott pilgrim #<- all this things have made me a better #writer and artist for both fan creation #and for my own original work #literal life hack #allow yourself to become obsessive and cringe to a certain degree #birdy chirps

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.

For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.

I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.

#i have to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night to even barely function #with sleep #getting ready for work #commute #cooking #and errands #I typically have maybe 2-3 hours to actually do what i want in a day #and I'm usually too tired to actually do the things i want to do #and that's with a very short commute #if i actually had a long commute I'd basically do nothing but work #i see my friends like once every few weeks or months #because we're all so fucking busy with work and have such little time for socialising #and none of us even have kids or anything!!

[bixels]

Baffled.

#personal #not art #like how do you arrive at this conclusion #what beliefs? #the man may be a total grouch but if there’s one thing he HATES it’s Japanese nationalism #Japanese nationalists famously HATE his work especially the wind rises which criticizes imperial Japan and calls out the invasion of China #don’t ask for context on the first part of the tag I’m not answering

[liones-s]

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

#this is my experience so I know it won’t work for everyone #like all things there is no universal formula #we all have different capacities and capabilities #but I like sharing things that work for me in case they can also help someone else #studyblr #study motivation #study tips #university #academia #uni tips

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order #at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers #90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies” #serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent #like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries #but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate #and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited... #i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something #cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare #and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest. #it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!' #'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members... #..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)' #anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language? #maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity #and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media #and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons #and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators #instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period #anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value” #and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives #so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs) #happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world #(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills) #and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on... #...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin #oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works? #beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value #and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the #important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)

[mwagneto]

i genuinely dont care if the creation of all media comes to a screeching halt btw i will very gladly live with no new movies no new tv shows no new anything for years if that's what it takes for the people who create them to be treated like human beings. i hope every other facet of the entertainment industry goes on strike too and i hope all the ones that havent unionised yet will. i want media creation to become completely impossible and i want the people who could make it possible again to hold out until they get every single thing they want. btw

#PLEEEASE ESPECIALLY CGI ARTISTS. UNIONISEEE #you guys are literally the only thing holding hollywood together and you're treated So badly #the mcu would literally crumble if you quit working for even like. a week #sag aftra #sag aftra strike #writer's strike #wga strike

[urmumhaha]

I wish butch n femme balls existed. Not to b a fucking sap n a massive dyke but wow. Ugh even. Just wanna wear a gown n stilettos n have my honey greet me w a bouquet before we leave n we wear matching or complimentary jewelry n spend hours on my hair and makeup to impress. N then when we get there my honey will spin me around the room for a brief dance before grabbing something to drink, wine for me n whiskey for her, as we chat w other dykes n celebrate butchfemmeness. Or whatever

#thinkin thots #sorry everyone I’m tired n a lil high after work n feeling DRAB so we r imagining #n listen I know balls r just a flaunting wrath bourgeois thing #wealth #this is just a simple indulgence for the Eve #lesbian #i #femme lesbian #butch/femme #butch lesbian #womp womp

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

#Sir Crocodile #Monkey D Dragon #Emporio Ivankov #Dragodile #Crocodad #My art #One Piece #We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay #Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao #I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally #He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace. #You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that #Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy #And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do #But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨ #And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion

[oars]

#i feel like tge fact im apprehensive about posting this is kinda proving my point #the way everyone talks about both weight gain and weight loss is just horrendous #like idek if i could fit all i wanna say in here especially while im at work but #i so badly wish people could be normal about weight gain and talking about it #its like if youre not in some constant state of wanting to lose weight people want to kill you #god forbid you want to put on weight to feel more comfortable in your body outside of muscles and a butt #fatphobia is a given thats a whole other few paragraphs #im grateful i have mutuals and friends who are normal but ill have or hear these convos and go #ok i feel sick. why do i feel this way why do you feel that way. #anyways i think fatphobia is one of the worst things to ever happen

[shay-creates]

Apparently, my decision to be silly and make fanart of someone's writing (because I genuinely enjoy the story the person is writing and I was struck with inspiration upon reading a particular scene) has benevolent and wildly unforeseen consequences.

I apparently gained a bit of control of the canon because said writer really loved the art and decided what I drew/draw is canon.

2. Writer put said artwork into the document of his story right below the scene, so now it's IN the story where people who read the story will see it (with a link to me)

3. He sent the artwork to all his friends and people he knows because he was so excited

Wholesome interaction and I watched him do all that in real time, good stuff. However...there are two more consequences I was notified of today...nearly a full week after I gave the artwork.

Seeing the artwork caused his friends to become interested in reading and hearing about his story, which means more people are reading what he's writing and giving him critique on the story (which he actively asks for).

Apparently, upon seeing the art, his writer friends got a sudden second wind to pick back up writing they'd abandoned for a few months. Because, I quote, "seeing that someone enjoyed {his} writing enough to take the time to make art of it gave them the motivation that maybe THEY can write something that will inspire someone to also create something." I have accidentally caused a writing frenzy among his writer friends and my silly idea to make art for someone has had a butterfly effect for people who I don't even know.

Uhh...I'm pretty sure there's a moral here but I am tired and have a great deal of emotions about this.

#shay speaks #crying and screaming #I was not intending this! I just wanted to be nice to someone and show my appreciation for their work! #make someone's day by giving them a personalized gift #maybe make them cry a bit in joy or something (because he said he would if I went through with making art for him and he knew my goals) #This is the silliest thing to happen from me making art and idk what to do with this information #positivity

[ispyspookymansion]

BOO!

oh sorry….come in…..hello…welcome to my halloween party ^_^ feel free to take a piece of candy and a goodie bag before you go okay? have a fun (and nostalgic) halloween season!!

#seems like many people related to this i hope some of yall click the og post now <3 #originally this post said i dont need therapy i need to be 8 years old at halloween again #kora.txt #gritting my teeth white knuckle gripping the edge of the table. Yeah No Its Fine. #the things i will never experience again haunt me… #8 is arbitrary. anything before like. 15. would work.