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marbearwrites · 1 year

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Dear Sis...

I wished you had stayed around town

You didn't have to travel so far to get away

Now all I see is a stranger's face...

Time does not heal all wounds

It dulls them

But there can still be an ache...

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the-sky-duo · 1 year

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(Lets see if we can get this back online)

What's your favourite colour and why?

Starshadow: "Black! EVERY clothing item instantly looks ten times classier if you make it black!"

Moondance: "… Yellow. It… reminds me of someone."

#Thinking about the past

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ember-not-amber · 1 year

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Thinking about the time I made a Google slides presentation on the history of fanfiction for my Freshman Seminar class (high school) and I didn’t get to present it because on the day I had to present I also had a Spanish presentation thingy where I would have to stand in front of the class and have a conversation in Spanish with a partner so I pretended to be sick that day and I stayed home and my Freshman Seminar teacher failed me or didn’t give me a grade (??) even though I emailed my presentation to her because I didn’t present it and I hated her for that bc it’s not my fault I was absent bc I’m a huge introvert who doesn’t like to speak a language I’m not fluent in in front of the class!!

I ONLY pretended to be sick bc of that Spanish presentation, I honestly could have managed to present the “History Of __” project bc at least I’d have a copy of it to look at and I wouldn’t have to memorize it or look at the smart board

My presentation was good, too but it could have been better. I still have it on my Google account. I also still have the printed out copy of it because that was a requirement since obviously we couldn’t read off of the board bc we need to make ✨eye contact✨ with the audience bc that’s good presenting or whatever🙄

I remember while I was doing research I was shocked to find out that Fifty Shades of Grey was a Twilight fanfic and William Shakespeare also basically wrote fanfic which made me happy that this practice went back that far bc I love reading and writing fanfic so much and it meant a lot to me but man, I would have hated presenting that in front of my 9th grade class, I would have been basically announcing to them that I read fanfic and that’d give the boys who made fun of me for liking One Direction another reason to bully me.

#high school #9th grade #2018-2019 #thinking about the past #fanfiction #fanfic #we had to make a presentation on the history of whatever we wanted #original post

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wayfaringauthorofficial · 2 years

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There’s a fist sized hole in my heart,

right where I used to hold you.

Your face was clean shaven at the time.

Look how much has changed since then.

Gone now are October nights spent

lying next to you

in your double bed at 3 am

when my daddy was calling me home.

Gone are the evenings we spent hiding

beneath the stars,

your sports car sitting before us,

waiting for its windows to fog.

Now I don’t know how to love myself,

let alone someone else.

Because what if I give too much?

What if I do what I did before

and send them running

for the hills?

My family swore

you were no good for me,

but she told me you were the very best.

Now I try to rid myself of your memories

by pouring them onto these pages,

but they only get stronger.

The weight of your absence

hits me like bricks

whenever your face flashes

through my mind.

I can almost remember the way

that you taste,

like cheap beer and pizza.

I barely remember the last time

we locked eyes,

with that girl beside you

that wasn’t your sister

but looked almost identical to her,

alike enough for me to do

a double take.

""

Tell me something.

Is she the one you’ll keep

or did you leave her

the way you left me,

standing on a street

with the crows and the dust?

-Double take.

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ddys-girl88 · 2 years

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I legit was his lil slut and it didn't matter. Maybe the next guy I'm with will appreciate my sexual appetite

#about me #thinking about the past #single

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starbuck · 5 months

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i say i like tragedies and everyone’s all like ‘why do you like sad stories? are you depressed?’ and never ‘how was the catharsis? was the catharsis fun?’

#i don’t know how to explain this to normal people 😭😭#for the record my coworkers didn’t directly question me on this #but i think i have vastly overestimated the amount of the population who is aware of like. Films.#NOT claiming that i have seen a lot - but i’ve mentioned three *REALLY* well-known films in the past four days #and got blank stares each time #the one of them was a REALLY good reference too… someday my top-notch association skills will be recognized #my first act as Mansion Acquaintance of the [redacted] Director will be to force everyone to watch a 40s romcom i didn’t even like #i’m getting off the point #the POINT is that It’s About The Catharsis

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lackadaisycal-art · 2 months

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I'm getting so sick of major female characters in historical media being incredibly feisty, outspoken and public defenders of women's rights with little to no realistic repercussions. Yes it feels like pandering, yes it's unrealistic and takes me out of the story, yes the dialogue almost always rings false - but beyond all that I think it does such a disservice to the women who lived during those periods. I'm not embarrassed of the women in history who didn't use every chance they had to Stick It To The Man. I'm not ashamed of women who were resigned to or enjoyed their lot in life. They weren't letting the side down by not having and representing modern gender ideals. It says a lot about how you view average ordinary women if the idea of one of your main characters behaving like one makes them seem lame and uninteresting to you.

#feminism #media criticism #this doesn't apply to media with large casts of female characters where one or the other is uncommonly outspoken or ahead of her time #and it is dealt with realistically in the setting #im not saying women in the past couldnt be wild and headtsrong and revolutionary #i just think treating it as an essential whenever a female love interest gets added to a historical story about some man is wearing

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panthermouthh · 4 months

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“Accursed creator! Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in disgust?”

#Frankenstein #gothic literature #gothic lit art #victor frankenstein #happy new year lads #ive been thinking about nothing else but them for the past 3 days #been trying to figure out a decent design for victor and i think im getting closer #he needs to have a cruelness to him #and he needs to be kind of pathetic #someone who the creature could snap in half yknow #and i need to make the creature more Mean looking but it just feels right to draw him sad and despairing #THAT BEING SAID i think i did a good job here hehe #henry is next :)))#my art #illustration

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ashleigghh · 4 months

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When I was 10, a boy told me he loved me in an anonymous Christmas card. I don't know if your schools did this but we had a huge post box in the front office that you'd post cards into and every Friday morning they would be sorted and distributed. It was signed from a secret admirer and I tried to ignore it all day, even though my friends wanted to try and work out who it was from. I was embarrassed, I didn't like the idea that someone there felt that way about me, it seemed wrong but I couldn't work out what it was that I didn't like. By the afternoon most of my class was talking to me about it, asking if I knew who it was, guessing who they thought it was, it made me feel awful, but I smiled my way through it, what else was I supposed to do?

I'm not sure exactly how I found out who sent it, if someone figured it out or they confessed, but it was worked out. It was the end of the day, I was buttoning up my winter cost that looked a bit like a dress when I was told it was the boy I sat next to in maths (for some reason we had several seating plans even though we all sat in the same room all day with the same teacher).

He was very sweet, we got along well, he was kind and caring, he genuinely cared about what I had to say and was always willing to help if I was struggling. I thought we were friends, but then he admitted this and I rethought everything.

I remember standing there, my cheeks going bright red, my mouth hanging open as I blinked away tears. Everyone was watching, waiting, he was looking at me, mirroring my reaction and I felt frozen. People laughed, not unkindly, they thought I liked him back, they thought my face went red because I reciprocated his feelings. That was what was expected of me, right? I should've liked the boy back, that's how it's supposed to go, that's what you read in every fairytale, what you see in every film and TV show.

All I felt in that moment was fear, I was scared, I wanted to leave, I didn't understand why he was doing this to me. I knew that I couldn't like him like he liked me, I couldn't feel it in my bones, coursing through my blood, pounding in my ears, even though I didn't even understand what it meant, what this was, I couldn't like him. I didn't want to hurt him or embarrass him but all I wanted to do was yell at him, ask him why he was doing this, what it meant. It was obviously a much bigger deal to little me than it should've been, but back then it felt like my world was collapsing and everyone was just watching as it shattered around me, laughing and expecting me to hold this boy's hand and walk out of school. This was what love is? all that it meant was I hurt him and he made me miserable.

Truthfully, I don't remember how I reacted after that, all I know is that I didn't tell him why I couldn't like him and we all pretended it never happened, apart from the occasional joke from a friend, after that Christmas break. I never told him I had secretly hoped the letter had been from the girl who shared my table, the girl I wanted to like me, the girl who had made me wish I was a boy so I could like her, the girl who had confused me so and opened my eyes to a whole new world.

I worked out who I was, and looking back on it now, I could've liked him, I really could've, I didn't even realise i was allowed to back then but I like both genders. I still see him around sometimes, we don't talk anymore and I don't think about it that often but I sometimes wonder what would've happened if I'd been able to work out who I was without having to become so confused and try to work it out with no support. Sometimes I wonder if I did hurt him, or if it was just one of those childish things he can look back at and laugh, or maybe he even forgot it ever happened, but to me, I think it changed my life.

#christmas #melancolía #thinking about the past #fighting the urge to come out at yet another family gathering #like i could just ruin everything right now #isnt that so cute #turning my memories into writing #feel a bit dramatic now that ive written this but hey #it doesnt matter if it's stupid it affected me a lot and that's okay

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uncanny-tranny · 3 months

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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

#mental health #mental health support #positivity #if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it #i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive #unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better

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writersbeware · 7 months

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Changing the Bed

Mindlessly, I pulled the pillows off the bed Thinking about what my husband had just said About feeling adrift in a world gone mad Fighting over things that folks once had had Pillowcases not so gently tossed aside, My mind roamed to all those soldiers who had died Fighting against the wind in lands far away Laundry on a line, too tightly bound to stray The plaid coverlet dumped…

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#Emotions #Feelings #fiction poem #Poem #poem about worries #Poems #Poetry #poetry about emotions #poetry about life #telling story throuogh poetry #Thinking about faith #thinking about the past #Thoughts

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mangozic · 28 days

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