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#thinking too much about this sort of thing makes me want to cry
mccoyquialisms · 3 days
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Incredible things from the london D20 live show in no particular order (straight from memory so may not be totally accurate or have much context at all):
First of all the line up was incredible. Kugrash, Pete, Sundry Sydney, Skip, Fabian and Adaine. What a terrible combination of personalities, it was so funny
Btw everyone looked so good. They looked really good, those fits <3. Murph striped button up/polo? shirt and Lou grandpa sweater you will always be famous
When Siobhan rolled Adaine everyone was so excited. Lou (who had already rolled for Fabian) hugged her, picked her up and spun her around on stage ❤️
Everyone was so excited to have a buddy ❤️
The setting was rolled as a crown of candy, after Brennan literally said “wow we happened to have a few people from the same place, wouldn’t it be hilarious if we got a crown of candy or neverafter or something?”
Everyone arrives and are doing introductions and the first thing Fabian says is “[tearfully] Adaine is that a giant rat?” Cue the whole atrium losing it.
Sydney then proceeds to minor illusion Kugrash as “sexy.” After some deliberation and when prompted by Brennan, Murph decided this means he looks exactly the same except for giant veneers
Beardsley: Can I distract the guard?
Brennan [flabbergasted, as the rest of the party was doing INSANE shit around this]: Sure, the DC is 500.
Beardsley: If I crit will you let it happen
Brennan [indulgently]: sure
Beardsley: [rolls a nat 20]
Brennan: [despair], cast: [running around in circles on stage and jumping], fans: [losing it]
And that’s how they accidentally start a revolt in Candia within minutes of arrival by Pete the Chosen Outsider with the peppermint tooth and prophesied king of candia. But it’s cool because in the next few minutes Kugrash teaches them about democracy.
So many little references to past campaigns and character one liners. Way too many for me to list but the cast was clearly enjoying dropping them
Sundry Sydney hitting King Calroy with 3 grenades ON SIGHT
A Hasted Kugrash doing an opposed athletics against Calroy and Brennan rolls a Nat 1. The dice wanted that motherfucker DEAD.
Kugrash to Calroy: “I eat from the trash, and I’ve never seen a cake as shitty as you!’ And then proceeds to 300-style kick him off the castle wall (as acted out by human man Murph)
Sooo much PVP though really most of that was between Pete and Fabian as they fought over the crown of candia
Sundry Sydney successfully seduced and awakens personhood in Adaine’s identify spell. His name is ANUS now. (Another use…)
Skip is quangled out and replaced by Lapin (played by Zac) and tries to keep the party on track. He fails many times. He takes up smoking from the stress. Adaine does as well.
At some point Pete’s wild magic turns his hands into rock candy, which he uses to deal 2d20 damage to Fabian during a fight
Emily as Sydney, whenever crazy shit happens: this is canon! [raises cannon arm]
All of them (except Pete) have some bad baby milk and do kublacaine. Cue a small detour for more pvp between Pete and Fabian
Arthur Aguefort is released from captivity in a castle full of/made from eggs. He and Lapin may or may not know each other biblically. They met on an app for old magical men, don’t worry about it.
Bill Seacaster is the pirate prince of the dairy lands and has the quangle. They get into his castle with Operation Fancy Perfume Part 2 except Emily rolled a nat 1 for her assist, so first poisonous perfume takes out most of the party and everyone inside the castle. I think Emily may have been crying she was laughing so hard.
They sort of defeat Bill by giving him pleasure putty (which he USES behind a curtain in front of EVERYONE) and then has to go take a nap, so they sneak into the rest of the castle to find the quangle. I am never going to forgive Brennan for making it canon that he goes “yar har har YO HO HO” when he gets off. I WILL NEVER UNHEAR THIS.
Pete Conlan somehow gains the power of flight from Bambi LeRoux (Sydney brought her) singing the Reading Rainbow theme song. He does a flying ribbon dance out the window, where she stops singing and he falls and takes max fall damage. He’s still up, so Fabian jumps out the window with Feather Fall and shoots him with a laser gun until he actually dies lmao. He gets injured too somehow but I forgot how. They both get healed and everyone continues on like nothing happened.
Emily took her dice that rolled a Nat 1, kissed it, and threw it into audience with a cheeky expression. I’m in love with her I fear
The time quangle is an entire pool of lemon yogurt. At the bottom of the pool is a completely naked Gilear Faeth
Kugrash eats all the yogurt despite knowing it will kill him in order to end the quangle. His farewell speech has as a backdrop Gilear’s giant hog (played by Brennan’s arm, as he got out of his chair to stand behind Murph the ENTIRE time he was talking). Kugrash then ascends to the big bodega in the sky.
Sydney also seduces Annabelle Cheddar (EDIT: fuck it was like 12 AM forgive me) Primsy Coldbottle, who is explicitly 29 in this version of time. Both her and Anus join Sydney in returning to AnarchEra. I cannot emphasize enough how horny this live show was
Everyone gets sent back to their respective universes, except Arthur. He’s going to hang out in Candia for a bit to be Lapin’s “roommate.”
Fabian’s last line is that he has to call his banker because he has a new nemesis
Lapin: “That was the worst group of people I have ever met.”
God that was so funny, I really hope these live shows are getting recorded and will be released somewhere later. I need everyone to experience the epic highs and lows of this d20 session.
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etdanger · 2 days
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[stepcest + noncon + voyeurism + dacryphilia + somno]
slightly inspired by this post from my bae @revehae ily
would you rather have an toxic boyfriend or a toxic stepbrother? because if you think your boyfriend is bad, i can guarantee stepbrother!jaemin is worse, you just don’t know yet.
stepbrother!jaemin who is so jealous of your boyfriend and you— plus everyone— mistake it for caring, always keeping an eye on you as he knows the situation with your boyfriend, how you will end up things but go back to him over and over again, but it’s in fact envy, the worst of it. jaemin wants what your boyfriend has, you, to control you, to play with your mind and body, your loyalty, to know that even after doing and saying the worst, you’ll be waiting for him like a good puppy by the end of the day… but he can’t, so he settles for your love and trust.
stepbrother!jaemin who is the first to give you the look when he finds out you’re back to that guy again, might even call you stupid and then take it back with a deep sigh and take you in his arms when you start to cry in front of him, saying you’re “sorry, i don’t know what’s wrong with me”, kissing your forehead, his mouth so close to your ear, shushing you, saying it’s okay, that he is there for you, you can cry. this is the closest he gets to hurting your feelings and it’s enough to mess with him— feeling your tears soaking his shirt and how your body shakes with your sobs get him so painfully hard. has an awful time trying to pretend everything is fine and to hide it from you, while all he can think about is getting under the shower and jacking off to the memory of your crying face.
sometimes though, you cry yourself to sleep in his arms, and how he loves when that happens, mainly if you two are alone at home or upstairs locked inside his room, as he gets to do a few more things other than jack off.
stepbrother!jaemin who has the lightest of the touches and takes advantage of that to grope you while you sleep in his arms. the first time he did it was nothing, just feeling your naked waist as your shirt rolled up, the weight of your body as you shifted and your thigh pressed against his hard cock, but once he realized you wouldn’t wake up? well, how fun. tried things bit by bit, one day feeling up your tits over your shirt, nose buried on the crock of your neck, your smell like a drug to him. next, caught himself sliding his hands under your shirt, snorting at how ridiculous he feels with his cock twitching in his pants just by feeling your hard nipples against his palms and fingers as if he was some sort of virgin teenager.
the fartest he goes is cupping and massaging your pussy over your underwear, very slowly, fantasizing about the warmth and taste of it. he did feel confident enough to touch you one day, single digit sliding under the gusset of your panties and running the very tip of it on your slit, but you stirred and he froze, never did it again, but it was enough to get a tiny bit of your taste, groaning while sucking his own finger.
stepbrother!jaemin who loves when you’re wearing shorts or a dress as he can get bolder and rub his cock against your soft flesh, slow movements making him see stars. when it gets too much and he needs to cum, strokes himself until shooting it all over your thighs, loving the way it paints your skin, hating he has to clean it up before you wake up. one day he wants to try and see if he can manage to wrap your hand around him and use it.
you may ask, does he fights your boyfriend, confronts him? yes, but just enough to let him know he hates him— and the hate is mutual honestly— but never enough to make your boyfriend leave, no, because how could he? if he can touch you like that, have you trust him like that, it because of him fucking you up.
also, speaking of fucking you, stepbrother!jaemin who lays awake when you boyfriend spends the night over at your house as your room is right next to his and he knows what’s about to happen. rubs himself furiously to the sound of your sweet moans, skin on skin, your bed being right behind his and you’re not as quiet as you think you are. and when you don’t want to, small cries of “no, not today, i’m tired” but your boyfriend insists and he gets to hear your mix of crying and moans? yeah, heaven.
in the end, he owns that boyfriend of yours a lot.
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twirlyleafs · 20 hours
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“Gold-digger.” (Pt2) (pt1 here)
Max Verstappen x reader
TW: nothing really, angsty? lol
A/N: oml so many of you asked for a part 2 and I’m just so happy you liked the first part!! thank uuu!!
~~~~
To say that you slept bad was an understatement. The moment Daniel let you in to his and Heidi’s hotel room you had started crying and it took almost half an hour before the couple got a sense of what had happened. They’d been at the dinner, hearing Maxs comments, and after piecing it together with what you were telling them now they began to see the bigger picture. Heidi sat with you on the balcony while Daniel made up the couch, insisting you should share the bed with his girlfriend despite your objection.
You hadn’t been able to sleep that much, and it wasn’t because Daniel’s snoring or Heidi’s tossing and turning. Every time you were about to fall asleep you could hear Maxs voice telling you what a shitty girlfriend you were, or you imagined him complaining to his friends that you used up his money like some sort of gold digger. You knew he didn’t think quite like that, and he definitely wouldn’t do any of those things but the knowledge of how he saw your whole relationship had you spiraling.
When Daniel woke, he was always an early riser, he found you already wide awake and anxious. The Aussie knew by the look on your face that you didn’t want to leave the safety of the hotel room alone and he quickly invited you to breakfast. Said and done, Daniel kissed his sleeping girlfriend goodbye before the two of you trudged out in the hallway. It was still early enough that everything was quiet and empty, the only sound being your yawn and Danny typing on his phone.
“You think they have pancakes?” You asked, rubbing your eyes as you walked. He hummed, looking up from his phone with a small smile.
“I hope so. I need some.”
“Yeah.” You scoffed. “Me too. And I need them to practically be swimming in chocolate sauce and-“ You stopped, both talking and walking, when you saw a door open further down the hallway. Daniel walked a few more steps, glancing between Max stepping out of the room and you with an apologetic pout. He must’ve told Max you were coming. Asshole. You met his gaze and he mouthed a sorry, making you shake your head before carefully looking over at the man standing in the doorway. He offered an unsure smile. Daniel grabbed your arm, giving you no choice but to start walking again. When the two of you reached Max he gave you an encouraging squeeze and patted Max on the shoulder before he disappeared down the hallway. You should’ve known you couldn’t trust Daniel.
“Hey.” Max said softly, making you look up at him. You took note of the dark circles under his eyes and judging by the way his face fell he probably noticed how red yours were.
“Hi.”
“You wanna talk?” Max opened the door a bit wider and with a soft nod you snuck past him into the room. You heard him let out a breath of relief and you found yourself being almost grateful that he seemed to be just as nervous as you were. You sunk down on the edge of the bed, watching as Max sat down in one of the chairs. He rubbed his hands over his face before leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees. “How are you feeling?”
You shrugged and pulled your legs up under yourself, casting your gaze down on your fiddling fingers. “Not to good, I guess.” You answered honestly, Max answering with a soft hum, agreeing. Things were quiet for a while before he spoke up.
“Are you still angry?” You would’ve been annoyed at the question if it wasn’t for the genuine sadness in his voice. Instead you shook your head.
“No. Just a bit sad I think.”
“I didn’t mean to make you sad schatje.” His words were almost whispered. You looked up at him through lashes.
“Do you still believe we’re only together because you’re paying me?”
“That was never- that not what I meant.” He practically whined, shaking his head. “I love you.”
“You just don’t think I actually love you? I’m just using you for your money?” Max gave you a defeated look, shaking his head quickly.
“That’s not-“
“It’s exactly what you said Max!” You exclaimed, interrupting him. You felt the tears pressing behind your eyes again. “Do you know how much of a bad fucking girlfriend I feel like knowing that’s how you see us? Me?” His eyes widened slightly but he didn’t have time to say anything before you started talking again. “I mean, I would’ve paid for my own food, my own travels- everything! If I just knew you felt like that I wouldn’t have let you spend your money on me but you always insist and you’ve always told me you wanted to-“
“I do want to.” He intervened quickly.
“But you want to for the wrong reasons. You want to because you think you need to, because you think I want you to.” When your eyes met again you could tell Max didn’t know what to say. His mouth opened and closed again, no words coming out as his gaze faltered to the ground. You reached up and quickly wiped a stray tear, sniffing quietly as the silence settled. It felt like forever before you heard Maxs voice again.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I don’t either.” You agreed.
“Let’s just-“ Max sighed, scratching the stubble on his cheek. “Let’s just go home, yeah?” When you didn’t answer he leaned forward slightly, trying to get your attention. You slowly raised your gaze to met his, both your eyes portraying to much emotions to process.
“I think I need to be alone for a bit.”
“Yeah, okay. Yeah sure.” He nodded, swallowing harshly. “I’ll- eh, I’ll go down to breakfast and you can order up? If you want to? And then I’ll text you when it’s time to leave for the airport?”
“No, Max.” You shook your head, face contorting in a sad frown. He paused, offering an encouraging nod. He wanted you to tell him what you needed, how to fix this. He was willing to do whatever you wanted. Or at least he thought so. “I think I need to be alone for more than a few hours. Like, I think I should travel alone back home, maybe even back to my parents for a bit. Just to-“
“Wait.” You hated the look of panic mixed with pure hurt that flashed across his face as he sat up a bit straighter. “Wait, no, y/n please.”
“I’m not saying that we’re breaking up Max.” You assured him, watching with a heavy heart as he stood, quickly making his way over to you. The second he sat down next to you on the edge of the bed his hands found yours and you could feel the panic seeping through his fingers.
“I get that I fucked up. I get that. I shouldn’t have said what I said, I didn’t mean it. Liefje please don’t-“
“Max.”
“Please don’t leave me. You know I love you, right?” With every word his voice lost its steadiness and you could practically hear his heart beating out of his chest. “I love you so much-“
“Max.” You interrupted him again, pulling your hand from his grasp to reach up and cup his cheek. “I know, alright? I know. I love you too.” His eyes flickered between yours, unconsciously leaning into your palm.
“Don’t leave.”
With a soft breath you leaned in to press a light kiss against his lips before shuffling closer, letting him wrap his arms around your body. When you placed your head against his chest he tightened his grip, terrified of letting go. The two of you sat like that, just holding each other for what felt forever. You thought back on the past twelve hours. The words that had been said, the insecurities that’d bubbled up. You knew Max never meant to hurt you, you knew that even before you entered his hotel room this morning but the conversation you just had cemented it. The man currently holding you tightly against his chest was the love of your life, no doubt about it, but that didn’t change the fact that all you could think about right now was money. His money, your money, how you could ever let him spend even one euro on you ever again. The thought had your insides churning and that’s why you knew you needed time. Time to process and figure this out before you could come back to him.
“How long?” You snapped out of your thoughts at Maxs voice, so quiet and gentle that you barely caught it at first. When you asked what he meant he let out a breath. “How long do you need? How long til you come back?”
“I don’t know Max. But I’ll come back. I promise.”
~~~~
Ten days. For ten days the only contact between you and Max had been an occasional phone call and a few pictures. He sent you updates on Jimmy and Sassy and you answered with pictures of your parent’s dog, Bongo. Other than that he gave you the space you’d asked for, no matter how much it hurt him not to constantly beg you to come home.
During your time at your parent’s house you’d spent your time just being. Going back to your roots. You hadn’t been brought up traveling the world in private jets or expensive boats and despite loving your life with Max it felt nice to just trudge around your parents backyard in your pajamas, throwing sticks for your dog to fetch. Your father was the most logical person in your life, he’d always been the one you’d turn to when you needed advice and this time it was no different. Your parents both loved Max and they were obviously upset when you came home crying, but after a few days spent talking and reasoning with them you finally saw the situation in a different light. Your dad’s words echoed in your head as you carefully slipped the keys into the door of your apartment, a deep breath leaving your lips when you stepped inside. You were relived to finally be home and you could almost feel yourself buzzing at the thought of seeing Max again. You spoke his name as you walked through the apartment, frowning slightly at the stillness of it. It took you a few minutes before you finally made it to Maxs office, stopping in the doorway when you saw him. He was in his gaming chair, one knee tucked against his chest and chin resting tiredly against it. The computer was turned off, instead his attention was on the toy in his hand as he bounced it slightly for Sassy to play with. You smiled softly at the sight, feeling your chest swell when you heard Max mumble something to the cat.
“Where’s Jimmy?” Despite your words coming out soft and quiet Max flinched, dropping the toy to the ground as he looked up at you. His eyes were wide and lips parted slightly as he took you in, trying to convince himself you were really there.
“You’re home.” He stated and you couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh, nodding.
“I told you I’d come back, right?” Max just shook his head, rising from the chair. In a few quick strides he reached you, immediately wrapping his arms around your body and pressing you tightly against his chest. Without a thought your arms snaked around his waist, feeling your whole body relax completely for the first time since before all this. You didn’t know exactly what it was that had you suddenly feel your throat closing up, the tears pressing behind your eyes as you turned your face even deeper into his shirt, but you knew they were good tears.
“Fuck.” Maxs voice was shaky, you could tell he was on the verge of crying too, and you squeezed him even tighter. “Fuck I missed you.”
“I missed you too Maxie.” You mumbled against his chest, breathing in his scent. You’d known you’d missed him while at your parents, but somehow you hadn’t expected to be quite this emotional reuniting with him. The two of you held each other for a moment, only separating slightly when Sassy pushed her way between your legs, loud noises leaving her small frame. As you leaned away from Max you chuckled down at the furry creature, softly assuring her that you’d missed her too, before your gaze moved up to your boyfriend. You found him already staring down at you, one hand reluctantly leaving your body to reach up and cup your cheek. When you leaned slightly into his palm you noticed him release a breath, finally a small smile making its way to his face. It disappeared too soon for your liking, a light frown taking its place.
“I’m so sorry.” He began, voice serious.
“Max-“ you sighed, but he shook his head and you pressed your lips together, deciding to let him talk. By the look on his face it seemed like he really needed to get this out.
“I realized a few days ago that I never actually apologized. I wanted to call and tell you straightaway but I didn’t want to disturb, I didn’t want to say it over text either but- baby I’m so sorry.” Max spoke slowly, he needed you to really hear him. “I never should’ve said any of that shit and even though I didn’t mean it like you think I did I should’ve realized how it sounded.” He paused for a second, hand slipping from your face to gently hold yours between your bodies. You nodded encouragingly, gently swiping your thumb across his knuckles as he continued. “For me it has always been sort of obvious that the things I have I’ve gotten because of racing. My dad always said that if I wanted something I had to be the best and I guess that just fucked with my head, fucked with the way I see myself and people around me. I’m used to people wanting something from me and somehow I applied that to you too, despite the fact that I’ve actually never felt like that with you. I fell in love with you because you made everything seem so effortless, like you just needed me and nothing else. You’ve never asked me for anything, even if you could and I’d happily give it to you, and I can’t for my life figure out why I would say what I said. I think it was my own insecurities, my fears, that had me place those thoughts on you and I can’t stress enough how fucking sorry I am for that.” He swallowed hard, bottom lip stuck between his teeth as he waited for you to answer. Your eyes trailed over his face and you contemplated carefully how to respond before eventually speaking up.
“I know you didn’t mean it like- like I thought in the beginning. I realize that now, after some time. I understand your point of view- or maybe I don’t understand it but I accept it. I know you Max, I know the way your mind works and your insecurities. But you also know me and it really hurt me to know that even the thought of me being with you for your money crossed your mind.” His gaze dropped down to your hands at your words, nodding. He was ashamed, you knew he was, and despite knowing he might deserve it you really didn’t want him to. Not anymore. With a soft breath you pulled your hand from his, reaching up to cup both his cheeks. When Max met your gaze again you offered a small smile, thumbs moving over his skin. “We all let stupid thoughts cloud our minds sometimes, that’s human. I’m not holding it against you as long as you promise me you’ll tell me if you ever actually feel like I’m somehow taking advantage of you. Or your money.”
“I promise.” He nodded quickly and you couldn’t help but let out a light laugh. Without another word you reached up on your toes, capturing his lips in a long awaited kiss. Despite the fact that it was supposed to be a short and sweet peck the both of you craved more, having been away from each other for way too long. Max deepened the kiss and it didn’t take long until he hoisted you up in his arms, lips instead attacking your neck and shoulder as he mumbled scattered declarations of love against your skin.
Later that evening the two of you laid curled up in bed, legs tangled together and Maxs head placed securely on your chest. As your fingers combed their way through his hair his drew random shapes against your skin, both of you enjoying the sounds of Jimmy and Sassy’s purring from the other side of the bed.
“I’d love you every time.” Max mumbled suddenly, making you pause for a second before continuing your movement.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I’d find you no matter what, I’d love you in every timeline and every universe. No matter what any of us were doing I’d find a way to be with you.” His words were almost a bit slurred, the sleepiness thick in his voice, but you heard him loud and clear and it made your heart swell.
“I’d find you too Max. Even if you worked at a gas station.”
~
Tagging ppl who asked for pt2 <33 @brod16 @spookystitchery @witchsbitchestime @bingussthirdtoe @itsjustkhaos @tylerstacobell @ironmaiden1313 @bitchreader @sp1rl @marvelfangirl04 @kravitzwhore @darleneslane @amberpanda99
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bleucaesura · 1 day
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STOLITZØ - SIXTY - NINE
Blitzø pulled back from his hug with Stolas and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.
“It’s ok to cry in front of me, darling.” Stolas reached out a hand to touch his face.
Blitzø pulled up the hood of his horse hoodie, drew the strings tight so that his face was covered and only his nose and mouth could be seen.
“Don’t wanna.” Blitzø tied the strings in a bow, sat on the floor, grabbed his knees and flopped over on his side in the fetal position.
“Eez embarrassing.” He mumbled.
Stolas snorted and tried not to laugh.
Blitzø curled tighter into himself.
“Oh, darling.” He scooped Blitzø up into his arms. “You never have to be embarrassed in front of me.”
He kissed Blitzø on his horse hooded head and cradled him in his arms until he relaxed enough to untie the strings.
Stolas slipped a finger under the hood edge and pulled it open.
“Feeling a little better?”
Blitzø blushed and avoided eye contact.
“I guess…”
“Good!” Stolas nuzzled his neck until he laughed and pushed him off.
“Enough! That tickles!”
Stolas smiled.
Blitzø rolled his eyes.
“So, uh…” Blitzø looked away and scratched his cheek. “What is it that we’re supposed to talk about, you think?”
Stolas raised an eyebrow.
“Well. We’ve been trapped here to ‘sort our shit out’. What do you think that means?”
Stolas shrugged.
“I supposed we did a better job at taking things slow and remaining awkward around each other than we thought.” He chuckled.
Blitzø snorted.
“We didn’t speak to them about any of our conversations so they don’t know where we stand.”
“I guess you’re right.” Blitzø rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
“If I may ask.” Stolas cleared his throat. “Where DO we stand?”
“Other than your foyer?”
Stolas glared at him.
“Okay okay!” Blitzø put up his hands defensively and chuckled. “Serious conversation. Gotcha.”
He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly before continuing.
“I don’t know what the future holds, Stolas. And Satan knows I’m a f*cking dumpster heap, trash fire waiting to happen... I’ll probably f*ck this up.”
“Darling, don’t say that.” Stolas cupped Blitzø’s face in his hand.
“But.” Blitzø wrapped his arms around Stolas’s neck. “I want my future to have you in it. A ‘you and I’ in it… Does that make sense?”
Stolas smiled tenderly and gave Blitzø a light kiss on the lips.
“Perfect sense.”
Blitzø grinned and pulled Stolas in for a proper kiss. No quick pecks for him.
Blitzø felt Stolas’s feathers fluff under his hands.
That’s more like it…
Stolas abruptly pulled away.
“What the?” Blitzø grumbled.
“Sorry, darling.” Stolas laughed nervously. “But I know if I let that continue then the evening will be over before it starts.”
Blizø grinned mischievously, running his fingers through Stolas’s feathers and gripping them tightly. Stolas shivered.
“And that would be a bad thing… WHY?”
“Blitzø.” Stolas said breathily. “You have no idea how much I wish to continue with this line of thought.” He cleared his throat and composed himself. “But I had something else in mind… At least to start the evening.”
Blitzø snorted and heaved an overly dramatic sigh.
“Fiiiiiiiiiine.” He let himself go limp and dangled in Stolas’s arms. “I’ll just waste away in your arms from lack of sex.”
Stolas hooted in laughter and started to walk down the hall.
“I promise to make it up to you, darling.” Stolas leaned over and whispered in Blizø’s ear; heat and power licking off his next words. “It’ll be worth the wait.”
Blitzø shivered. He looked up at Stolas. His eyes were glowing a delicious red.
Blitzø swallowed hard, wrapped his arms around Stolas’s neck and nodded.
“Good.” Stolas grinned. He adjusted Blitzø in his arms and made his way down the hall again. “Off we go then!”
“Where are we going?” Blitzø didn’t bother to look around. He was too busy staring at Stolas and imagining the faces he was going to make the bird make later tonight.
“The study.” Stolas didn’t seem to notice Blitzø's burning gaze. “There’s something I never did get the chance to give you.”
That snapped Blitzø back to reality.
“The crystal.” He breathed.
Blitzø hadn’t thought of the crystal in weeks. Hadn’t thought of first seeing it and his heart breaking. Hadn’t thought about the accident, the darkness, the… The dreams?
His heart started pounding.
Stolas waved open the study doors, startling Blitzø.
“Yes. The crystal.” Stolas crossed to his desk and placed Blitzø standing on his chair. He leaned back on his desk, crossing his legs at his ankles.
Stolas reached out behind him and slid the box containing the crystal over to his side with delicate fingers.
Blitzø watched with wide-eyes and his hands clasped and his chest.
“I’d still like you to have this, Blitzø.” Stolas held the box in his hands, looking down at it. “Now that you know what it means… I hope that you’ll accept it.”
Blitzø swallowed hard.
F*ck… I wish I had something to give him….
He wiped his hands down his sides trying to get rid of the sweat.
Why don’t I have anything to give him? I should have f*cking got him somethi-
Blitzø felt something in his pocket.
What… What IS this…?
He reached into his pocket, wrapping his hand around the lump he’d felt there.
He pulled his hand out, clenched in a fist. He slowly opened his fist.
Blitzø’s heart jumped into his throat.
“Blitzø?” Stolas put the box down and reached out to him. “Darling? Are you ok?”
“I…” Blizø’s hands shook and tears began to stream down his face. “I thought…”
Blitzø looked up at Stolas through tear-filled eyes.
“It was real, Stolas!” Blitzø beamed, crying happily. “It wasn’t a dream!”
“What was real?” Stolas was so confused.
Blitzø grabbed Stolas’s hands.
“Look!” He placed something in Stolas’s hands.
Stolas looked down at the object in his hands.
“The moon.” Stolas breathed. Tears stung his eyes.
“My mom says hi.” Blitzø choked on his tears through laughter and threw his arms around Stolas’s neck.
Stolas hugged him tightly, letting himself cry.
“You’re right, dear.” He smiled as he cried. “It wasn’t a dream.”
***
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x-liv25-jamieswife · 22 hours
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sad avery head canons
@ariscats requested this in a comment under my sad grayson hcs, and i'm more than happy to do it for my fav girl avery. trigger warning for self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and sexual assault. pls don't read if this might trigger you, and if you ever need help, there are helplines you can contact for free. family and friends are obviously also an option (if you'd rather talk to a stranger, you can always dm me (or whoever you feel comfortable with) <3). sorry if some of this doesn't make sense. i wrote this at 1 am. hope you enjoy<3.
avery used to pull out a guitar (cause i hc she can play the guitar) and sing songs for her mom when she was on her death bed
she now visits her mom's grave and does the same thing. she sings her mom's favorite songs on the verge of tears (if she isn't already crying).
avery used to wear an elastic band around her wrist and would snap it repeatedly until her wrist became sore and red (it didn't always make her stop though) when she was feeling overwhelmed or did smth she deemed wrong.
whenever avery would drive across bridges or anything really high up, she would think about jumping off of it.
she used to get her mom or libby to help her bake cookies that she would bring to school to try to get people to become her friend (it never worked)
she used to eat lunch in the back of the courtyard in a secluded place most of the time bc no one wanted to eat with her (until she met max obviously)
i'm currently rereading tig and i can't help but notice how uncomfortable she becomes when someone touches her so i hc drake or some other random creep sexually assaulted her once (or multiple times) and that's the reason why she seems so uncomfortable with physical touch.
she used to cry in her mom's arms wondering why she wasn't good enough for people to want to be her friend
when her and libby were struggling to get by and couldn't afford food, she would save the food for libby and not eat (she would tell her she ate at the diner she worked at but didn't)
when she realized, at the age of six, that her father was a piece of shit who didn't actually want her, she started trying to find faults in her to explain why this might be (she thought that if she could 'fix' herself, her father might want her)
she sometimes purposely gives herself papercuts when she feels really numb just to make herself feel something
when she would live in her car, she would sometimes continuously bash her head on the steering wheel wishing her life could be different.
when she was younger, to get people to like her, she would give them everything she had. she would do their homework for them, would cover for them when they wanted to cause trouble in the school, etc, but, in the end, it was always temporary
whenever she comes across someone who looks like sheffield grayson she freezes up in fear/shock. a little voice in her head tells her she's in danger and they'll hurt her.
after all of the almost-death experiences she's been through, she developed a panic disorder (this is already sort of confirmed) that she has to treat with pills.
she sometimes takes the haters' comments to heart (the comments about her weight, etc). she would start telling herself that skipping one meal wouldn't hurt. jameson noticed really early on though and stopped her before it became too severe.
she's convinced people would be better off without her and that she only causes pain and destruction everywhere she goes (bc of what happened with toby)
she actually hates getting drunk because it reminds her too much of her father. jameson started to notice that she would get really uncomfortable whenever he got drunk so he started to drink less. when he did drink though, he made sure it wasn't enough to get drunk.
because of everyone comparing her to emily, she's convinced herself that she's just jamie's second option and she'll never measure up (personality wise, looks wise, everything). jamie and her talked about it a lot and she's now less insecure.
she gets terrified when she hears noises at night bc she's convinces someone's there to hurt her
she forgives people so easily bc she desperately wants people to actually like her.
in the books she says she doesn't allow herself to want to want things bc it could potentially distract her/hurt her. i also think she doesn't allow herself to want things bc she doesn't think she deserves to want anything.
when she's in a stressful situation or she's having a panic attack, she'll start scratching her arms really roughly until they start to bleed to get herself to focus on anything other than the stress/panic.
the scratches on her arms became too obvious so she started scratching her sides instead.
she can't watch any tv shows with violence/war bc the loud sounds remind her too much of the shooting.
one of the reasons why she realized her father was a piece of shit was bc, once, he got way too drunk and slapped her. that was sort of like the catalyst for her.
bc she grew up so isolated, she's afraid of emotional and physical intimacy. she's afraid she'll start liking feeling loved/close to someone too much since she believes it'll never last (jamie showed her she was wrong)
i'm an averyjameson stan so don't take this the wrong way but avery was affected by jamie thinking of her as only a game way more than she lets on. even after they got together, she was paranoid that he had ulterior motives.
she blames herself whenever something goes wrong in the foundation or hawthorne house even when she had nothing to do with the problem.
she's extremely paranoid when it comes to locking her bedroom door and stuff like that bc of how often her privacy is invaded.
i said this in another post but, especially before she inherited the money, she would sometimes smoke weed to lessen the stress she felt for a little while.
she hates going to sleep bc her sleep is always invaded by horrendous nightmares. it became so bad she ended up in the hospital (jamie was absolutely terrified and made her promise to talk to him more).
she has this one stuffed animal that her mom gave her not long before she passed that she cries into whenever she feels like her life is going to shit.
before she inherited the money, she was actually near her breaking point. she was seriously considering if staying alive was actually worth it.
before she inherited the money, she used to count on her fingers how many people would miss her when she died to convince herself to stay alive (the number was never more than three). the fact that the number was so low made her feel even shittier and made her spiral.
her grief for her mom is so intense sometimes she can't get out of bed. she doesn't eat, sleep, drink water, etc. alisa had to contact a therapist/psychiatrist to help avery get out of bed.
to end on a brighter note, here's a happy avery head canon:
she used to dance all the time when she was younger. she would pull out her mom's phone, start playing some music, and jump around waving her tiny little arms everywhere whilst singing along. she would pretend she was a popstar. her mom would film her and send the videos to libby. the brothers have seen all of them bc libby showed them.
not proof read so i apologize for any spelling mistakes<3. again, pls contact someone/helpline if you ever need help. speaking from experience, things tend to get better. sending everyone lots of love (and my girl avery).
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weebsinstash · 5 hours
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I'm sorry but I'm going insane for your idea of Lilith and Luci getting a sinner pregnant together can we please have more of your thoughts on this idea 🙏
Absolutely because I'm a dirty little heathen and Season 2 isn't just about to magically pop up out of the ground and I've had SOME THOUGHTS and also this post is way longer than it should be 💀
I was sitting and I was thinking of the concept of the Hotel having communal breakfasts or having at least one day of the week where there's food served and everyone (typically) eats together, not only as a bonding/unity sort of thing but also simular to how real hotels can have complimentary breakfast as part of your stay, and like, yeesh this is actually an entirely separate fic idea in of itself but you're talking with Alastor and you're saying something along the lines of "oh yeah, well, I was actually starting to think a lot about motherhood before I died, but, raising children is so complicated, not to mention society right now is so genuinely hostile and dangerous to children, and i wouldn't have been able to afford it anyways, and, well, you know, NOW i literally can't have them down here"
AND FROM THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE END OF THE TABLE
COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED
HERE'S LILITH, "Oh! It wouldn't be impossible at all! You and Lucifer could still have a baby :)"
RECORD SCRATCH SOUND EFFECT AS EVERYONE LOOKS TO THE QUEEN OF HELL. She seems completely unbothered while her husband is A TOMATO, he can barely even look in your direction, he's just tugging on her sleeve, "L-Lili, cmon, don't say things like that 😳🥴" and awkwardly laughing, maybe even asking to speak to his wife in private (I feel like its a regular occurrence for these two to dip out of a room and reappear and Lilith is reapplying her lipstick as she re-enters followed by a kiss covered Lucifer lmao)
Can you even imagine going to Charlie, "hey um, this is awkward, your mom keeps like. Jesus please don't kill me I'm not a homewrecker but your mom keeps making comments about me having a baby with your dad and she sounds completely serious about it and shes been bringing it up for like two weeks" and you could not be saying this in a more obvious "hey girl this is weird and I don't like it, can you chat with your parents for me to stop this" kind of way BUT, the actual way Charlie is responding ALSO THROWS YOU OFF. I can see it already, Charlie all but LIGHTS UP WITH EXCITEMENT and she, takes a breath, "oh!! I mean!! You don't have to do anything you don't want to obviously, bbBUT UH THAT BEING SAID oh gosh that sounds like it would make you really happy, aaaaand and I know you wanted a family of your own and, hey isn't this place about new beginnings and" GIRL WE AREN'T HAVING A BABY WITH YOUR DAD TF?
You know how I made that post "hey Lucifer kind of appears to have these vague Master Of All type powers down in Hell, what if he could manipulate your dreams and made you dream about being a kid because he's wanting to heal your inner child/adopt you". I also started thinking recently about Lucifer AND OR Lilith using these powers to make you dream about 1) being with them in general and more specifically 2) motherhood and i started mentally deep diving for that shit. Like. It could genuinely actually get so fucked up actually. Could you imagine you're just, VULNERABLE with the Queen of Hell and you're drunk and you're crying and you're just, SPILLING EVERYTHING, she's getting your entire life's story, and she's petting your hair as youre way too drunk to realize youre telling her way too much, amd she's just thinking "oh you poor thing, human society sounds absolutely dreadful now" and like. Think of it from a hypothetical fantasy psychology perspective. It's not like Lilith has never been part of modern society, she's been a member of Hell forever and has only been out of contact for 7 years, BUT she also exists from a time predating all of that AND she built Hell with Lucifer, so like, imagine she actually starts forming some um Strong Opinions on how, it sounds like all these complicated modern things are really dragging you down, both as a person and as a free spirit, and comes to a consensus that your life needs to be a little... simpler
I'm serious, I'm talking "Lilith makes you dream about being In The Actual Goddamn Garden Of Eden Itself with her and Lucifer and you're ALL naked". Just completely controlling your dream. You're naked as the day you were born and so are they and you can't control your dream at ALL. Lilith is wanting to like, watch you peacefully frolic around, I'm talking she wants to see you having your Hot Nymph Summer where you're napping in beds of flowers and you're having birds land on your finger and you're gasping at all the pretty flowers and wanting to explore and, experiencing the beauty of being alive without all these messy modern nuances and it's like NO MAAM I DONT WANT TO PICK BERRIES FROM THAT BUSH, YOU CAN SEE M Y BUSH AND I CAN SEE YOURS AND YOUR HUSBANDS---
Alastor is over here thinking he's hot shit, "oh I do so wish we could return to simpler times without all these modern trivial problems!!" MEANWHILE LILITH IS LIKE. ACTUALLY GOING THAT EXTRA MILE. Alastor is like "boo cellphones are bad and women dont dress modestly enough, people these days spend too mych time with technology and not with family" meanwhile in "the garden" a completely naked Lilith is braiding your hair and weaving flowers into it while an also completely naked Lucifer is feeding you berries by hand as they discuss the idea of having a nice fun swim in the lake passed the glade, like you guys really are frolicking and fucking around like a bunch of fairies and it's. It's peaceful and fun but also you miss your cellphone and having underwear 😩 like miss queen of hell can I PLEASE get some boob support--
Moving on, I was thinking of the Fake Garden in of itself, as its own idea, but like in this poly baby raising context, it would be essentially Phase 1 of the plan to normalize their presences to you and make you more comfortable around them and then skipping into Phase 10 of "oh hey by the way you're gonna have a dream about um sleeping with the King and Queen of Hell and it's Totally Not Real and you're Totally Definitely Not Actually Like For Real For Real Legitimately Pregnant Now ;)" like. First off before I get any farther in this post can we just like acknowledge the like HEINOUSNESS of you not knowing everything is "real dreams" and LiliLuci using this to their full advantage to ask and find out anything about you because basically to them, they think you're just being boggled down and negatively influences by modern human society and you're like an onion they have to peel some layers off of first to expose those juicy inner tender bits
Just. Ok. Like. High level fantasy horror concept ok, here we go I'm gonna cook here:
It eventually does move on to you having dreams about living in an actual home with Lucifer and Lilith, sleeping with them in you know, All Those Ways, basically in what you think is some weird imaginary throuple that while you do find yourself enjoying it like actually, you can't wake up from it, and these dreams can feel WAY too long sometimes. You're dreaming of some, "am I a man dreaming I am a butterfly or am I a butterfly dreaming i am a man" shit where you hit the pillow in Hell and Dream You is waking up, seeing your husband and wife get ready for work and you're basically a pampered stay at home spouse. I honestly can't decide what dynamic would be cuter: both of them having jobs, you and Lilith having jobs while Lucifer is the house husband, only Lilith having a job while you and Lucifer do dumb shit at home, or Lucifer being big daddy and bringing home all the money while you and Lilith lounge by the pool and she takes you to the spa and pampers you all day and is sending texts and photos of how cute you are to her husband while he's working
You're probably thinking "wait but weeb this is actually kind of cute, where is the horror" and for starters it just kind of, mentally wears your energy down over time to 'never shut your brain off' and have true rest, like Lilith and Lucifer intentionally 'trade' you being alert in reality to you being more conscious in the dream world, so, you're not as present when you're around ACTUAL people as you are when you're in their little, fucked up pocket dimension.
Then you've got. The baby. You're pregnant ONLY in the dream. You have THE ACTUAL PAINFUL EXPERIENCE of giving birth, BUT THEN you're waking up and you can't hold your child, show them to your friends, have the, SANITY AND COMFORT OF KNOWING YOU ACTUALLY HAVE ONE. You're waking up DEVASTATED. Where's your baby? 🥺 oh right.... They're not... actually real... like it fucks you up psychologically
I just picture, if I were to put it in an order of events. You go from 1. Lilith and Lucifer are just your casual acquaintances, Charlie's parents that you know through her 2. They start getting closer to you as you stay longer at the Hotel 3. Ok we get along and have fun moments and even sing songs and we have fun times with your daughter ^^ 4. Ok you're getting maybe a little comfortable, am I tripping or are you a little too comfortable 5. You're Bush Out in Fake Eden 6. You accidentally slip up and get more cozy with them in reality because Ok Maybe The Stupid Garden Bullshit IS Fun And Maybe A Little Soul Healing 🙄 7. You're getting banged in the Garden 8. Being in reality is awkward now, suddenly you're avoiding them less, so you're dreaming about them more, having them push themselves closer to you in response to you trying to pull away, like even if you're spending entire days outside of the Hotel you can't escape needing to sleep eventually 9. Suddenly you're like, not in Eden, you're in a hospital getting an ultrasound w Lili Luci holding your hands as a doctor tells the three of you you're pregnant and oh no you're actually really happy and excited about it 🥺 10. crushing crushing reality. You're single and not pregnant and you're beating yourself up for these fucked up dreams you're blaming yourself for having, as if they're some self conscious desire and you're kinkshaming yourself for having them 11. Dream You is having your baby, everyone is so happy like it's actually so perfect, even when you're stressed as a first time parent you have so much love and support to keep you strong 12. You wake up and it's nothing but DEPRESSION DEPRESSION DEPRESSION where is my baby and my wife and my husband who love me and I love them DEPRESSION DEPRESSION DEPRESSION 13. Lilith and Lucifer HAVE TO to spill that Hey Our Baby Is Real because you're like going near insane with "grief" like youre like actually wanting to try and end your life or constantly self harming because Where Is MY CHILD 14. You're so fucked up at this point you don't care to ask questions when they hand your Very Much Real Baby to you looking exactly how you remember them from your dreams. You're just happy your baby is real and now you can be with them all of the time and you don't even care that um This Was Such A Fucking Ethically Dubious Conception.
Do you think the other Hotel residents would have a sliding scale of being ok with this. Like you just SHOW UP WITH THIS LITTLE BLONDE BABY IN YOUR ARMS and Lilith and Lucifer are all but glued to you and they're all fucking confused because WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??? you barely even spend time with these two, or so they thought??? When were you PREGNANT??? HOW??? I feel like realistically if they aren't all, you know, as Equally Crazy For You, that they would find this extremely manipulative and fucked up MEANWHILE CHARLIE DOESNT CARE and may have been in on it.
Also "something something what if Reader being able to get pregnant also turned out to be like God Himself being like 'hey lucifer lilith here's the deal I'm throwing you a bone right now, ok, this is for you, to keep things chill between us mk' and there are added layers of Oh Shit You Were Created To Be With Them" as if your ass wouldn't have an impossible enough time escaping as is ���💀
But like... the concept of Reader falling so deep into "grief" that it gets so bad that you're basically not eating or sleeping, Lucirer and Lilith were always gonna tell you but they're forced to do it abruptly because you just breakdown and can't stop crying. Or it's even Charlie disobeying her parents and running up to you with your baby who stops crying the moment they're in your arms
I also just... as a final note..... just as a cute palette cleanser there's one specific idea I keep thinking of... you have your new baby and you're showing it to all your Hotel buddies and you give it to Alastor to hold because your baby was giggling and gurgling at him and you're just, death grip on his shoulder, "alastor please hold my child :) they're excited go meet you, say hi" and while you're like, vaguely threatening him to interact with this baby which he has Extremely Valid Reasons To Find Abhorrent, his deer ears move or twitch, and your baby is just looking up at him with their big eyes, watching those ears twitch, and, poof! Your baby has their first Lucifer/Lilith related shape-shifting incident and suddenly your baby has twitching little red ears and they're looking up at Alastor with these big cute eyes and here you are, "alastor :) aren't you going to praise my baby :) they just had their very first shift and it's for you :) tell them what a good job they did :) you're not trying to make my baby uncomfortable are you :)" and. Ok Maybe this does win Alastor over a bit being the narcissist that he is BUT THE TRUE REWARD is Lucifer scrambling into the room after you call out in excitement, dropping to his knees and all but wailing, "NO, WHY IS MY BABY HAVING THEIR FIRST SHIFT FOR Y O U AND I MISSED IT" and you just have Alastor being an ABSOLUTE SHIT, suddenly oh so cozy with your baby, "well talent recognizes talent! This little one clearly has potential! Why, look at how clearly they ALREADY ADORE THEIR DEAR UNCLE ALASTOR >:)" and from then on you can't leave these two men alone with your baby or they'll be having nonstop contests to "win them over" and prove who the best role model/caretaker is
Ok. Lastly. Lastly lastly lastly. THIS BABY SPECIFICALLY IS RUINING MY LIFE. Look at those STUPID CHUBBY cheeks and those big eyes and how attentive and focused she is like oh my godddddddd if LiliLuci handed one of those to me "this is yours" i would just die like 🥺🥺🥺 man, I'll have to tell you guys later about my idea for "Reader wants to see if Rosie will let them adopt a Hellborn baby and Alastor helps vouch for you and lowkey becomes your husband/the child's second parent" or "Reader finds an abandoned imp baby and all the shenanigans/protective possessive feelings from your yandere/s that follow once you begin your motherhood journey "
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lookingatacupoftea · 2 days
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They’re not talking (or are they?)
Please don’t tag or ask Neil about fan theories!
Thinking about how Crowley and Aziraphale seem to keep a lot from each other in S2, particularly Crowley keeping information from Aziraphale.
It’s perfectly possible that much of this is communicated between them offscreen or just doesn’t matter or is a victim of on-set rewrites. But it happens a lot in S2 and a few of these are pretty important details that appear to be deliberately kept secret. 
Things that Crowley knows that Aziraphale doesn’t (as far as we know):
Crowley is living in the Bentley (Aziraphale doesn’t know per Neil)
Crowley has been replaced as hell’s representative (unclear but some have speculated that Aziraphale doesn’t realize this until Shax tells him)
Beez’s offer (sort of revealed in the final fifteen)
BOL threat
Where Crowley goes in his tactical turtleneck during the Job minisode (speculative, could mean nothing)
Shax sniffing around the bookshop 
The memory snippets Jim shares while Aziraphale is in Edinburgh
That “it’s always too late” (could just be a nod to Crowley’s watch in the book)
Where Crowley goes the morning of the ball (speculative)
Crowley telling Jim that he was the one in heaven
Nina’s troubles with and breakup with Lindsay
What happened in heaven and the memory wipe threat
What N&M said to Crowley
Things that Aziraphale knows that Crowley doesn’t (as far as we know)
Maggie crying over Nina (edited to add: this is a weird one because Crowley does know this later but we don’t see Aziraphale tell him and he doesn’t observe her crying himself)
What Aziraphale wanted to tell Crowley when he came out of the Job memory
The Mason clue
What else Aziraphale did in Edinburgh (speculative)
Shax’s visit to the Bentley (oddly, Crowley seems happy to be lied to about this when Aziraphale returns - “that’s what we want to hear”)
What Aziraphale wanted to suggest to Crowley at the start of the demon attack (possibly irrelevant after the fact)
The full Metatron conversation (speculative)
This is in contrast to S1, where secrets are kept but they make sense to the narrative. Aziraphale keeps Agnes Nutter and his Tadfield research from Crowley because he’s stuck between a rock (heaven wanting Armageddon) and a hard place (Crowley wanting to kill the kid). And while neither tells the other directly about threats from other angels and demons, this again is all part of the tight narrative of S1 where they both know that every other celestial but them wants Armageddon.
I keep coming back to how they’re never alone together in S2. The regular pattern of their lives is disrupted from the start. Jim is always in the bookshop, plus other visitors show up, or they’re in public. And we see them being spied on constantly. 
Secret communication, therefore, is my best potential explanation. S2 gave us added context for S1, as lots of you lovely theorizers like @drconstellation, @vidavalor and @leftduck9986 have noted. What if the choppiness in S2 is from missing scenes we’ll get in S3? Cain’s Jawbone across multiple seasons?
I think changing POV (paging @somehow-a-human) is another option for some of these — that thing where people erroneously expect others to know what they know. But that doesn’t work for what seems to be deliberate omissions like the BOL threat or Shax in the Bentley.
I’m open to other ideas, including that last-minute on-set rewrites are to blame. Thanks for reading! This will be me tomorrow wishing I was paid to think about Good Omens:
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#i do not want to work tomorrow i want to lay in bed and be sad#i’m really realizing how miserable of a person i am i am always fucking Sad and when i do feel happy i cry when it’s over#and i can’t even resemble a human being without medication and i know that’s fine but i’m still always sad. it doesn’t go away#i feel like nobody deserves to have me weighing them down like i’ve cried in front of people three times this week and i know it’s fine#but i feel so fucking guilty about it and i feel guilty about everything i feel like i’m doing nothing right and i’m not dealing with thing#right and i’m not living right and i feel like it must be so fucking difficult to love me and i don’t know how people do it#i don’t even feel capable of asking for. any sort of love ever#i feel like i don’t deserve like anything. i feel like nobody actually wants to do things for me lol#every single dsy i’m like wow i want to be held and every single dsy i feel bad even asking for a hug from someone#when i need reassurance i’m afraid to ask because what if i’m just being annoying and overbearing and too much Bad#i never feel like too much good. only bad.#i know a lot of these shitty thoughts are just because i’ve been unmedicated (meds will be ready tomorrow lol) but it just like#it sucks to know medication just kinda hides these thoughts better and that deep down i feel like this because i don’t want to#i feel like everyone in my life doesn’t deserve someone who doubts everything all the time#i think my mother deserved a stronger daughter and i think my friends deserve someone that’s not always breaking and i just don’t feel Good#i don’t know why anyone keeps me around#sometimes i feel selfish for sticking around and that sounds so awful and i’m not gonna act on it but i just feel like a waste of a person#the last week has been so good and now i’m just a fucking mess and i feel so fucking guilty about that :)#i feel like no matter what i always just default to miserable#i don’t feel like i’m doing enough at all#i’m struggling in school i don’t work enough i can barely take care of myself#like i wouldn’t even properly take care of myself if taylor wasn’t helping me i feel so guilty about that all the time#i feel so guilty for even thinking any of this right now and i’m trying to remind myself that i’m unmedicated and i’ve had a long day#and my best fucking friend just went back home and i’m allowed to be sad about that but i just. feel like i’m making excuses i guess#it’s not immoral to be sad but maybe when i’m wanting to die all the time i’m the problem. idk#anyway i’m gonna go to sleep and i’m gonna try to convince myself tomorrow will be better#sndnsksjkakejdkalwosjhdkwosjdjsk. i will be fine
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tojisun · 3 months
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!! female reader; dirty talking; breeding kink; slight overstim play; unrealistic sex x’>
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thinking about how simon’s the type to keep saying filth to you when he’s balls deep. how, in the throes of his pleasure, so pussy-drunk, simon begins to wax poetry about the way you make him feel.
he’s got you folded in a mating press, his lips ghosting wet kisses along your trembling legs. “god, baby,” simon murmurs, his voice a drunken slur. “i need t’wife you up, i swear.” he punctuates this with a thrust, before his fingers pinch your clit.
you choke at the feeling, your legs kicking from where they’re slung over simon’s shoulders. your head thrashes against the pillow, not knowing how else to tether yourself from the stinging pleasure, your mouth falling open uselessly as garbled moans spill out.
“oh this,” he says, distracted by your reaction. “cute little thing, isn’t it?” he looks at your pussy almost with a starry-eyed gaze.
jesus-
“shu-ut up, si!” your voice breaks, weakened from the moans, but simon’s already looking too far gone, his eyes blown wide and his face flushed because of his pleasure.
“y’just squeezed me tighter, baby.” simon rips his eyes from your cunt to look at you with a sort of giddy trance. “y’like it when i play with–” he circles his thumb on your clit, making you squeal. “this? yeah? oh, lovie, you’re gushing.”
he pulls out, torturously slow, teasing, then he’s slamming back in. your ears ring at the resounding wet slide, his pelvis meeting your own with a goddamn squelch, and you scream, clawing at his back at the sharp pleasure that razes through you.
“going t’stuff you w’my cum everyday, baby.” simon giggles. “going t’make you so full.”
he nuzzles his nose on the side of your tear-soaked cheek. “y’want that, yeah? want t’feel sore because of how much cum’s stored in you? want t’be fucked until it takes?”
what-
“si! si!” you cry, mushy mind trying to understand what he’s insinuating. “wha- wh-…?”
“oh but you’d be so gorgeous, baby,” simon groans, his hand leaving your oversensitive clit to hike up along your body, dancing past your groin to plant just below your belly button. simon nuzzles close again, tracing the shell of your ear with his lips, then, “you’d be so pretty carrying my kids.”
those words make your body lock up, something in your mind just shifting right, and then you’re cumming, squirting all over simon’s cock and spraying on his legs.
simon outright moans, pulling back just enough to slot his lips against yours. you couldn’t even kiss him back, still so busy cumming, all cross-eyed at the intensity of your orgasm. it doesn’t matter to him, anyway, not when simon begins pistoning harder. faster. rougher.
every drag of his cock back in your pussy pushes more gushing squirt from you, and simon rumbles with a pleased groan, looking so blissed out as he leaves open-mouthed kisses along your jaw. you dig your nails at his back but simon doesn’t even register the prickling pain, too busy chasing his own orgasm through your cunt.
“s’right,” he coos. “nothin’ else could make me cum, baby. nothin’ else but y’r pretty pussy. y’r tight pussy. god, it’s such a delicious pussy, baby, how am i so lucky to have you, huh?” his words mingle with the thwap-thwap-thwap sounds of his body slamming against your own. it makes you dizzy with pleasure, ragged rasps of breath is all that is passing through your parted lips.
simon croons. “how’d i chance luck and end up w’such a delight?” another wet sound from your pussy rings amidst his words. “mmm, hear that baby?”
you nod, you think. or you moan a reply. honestly, you don’t even know, not with how dizzy you are at the peaking pleasure because there’s no way you’re cumming again–
“that’s the sounds that a happy wife makes,” simon purrs, replying to his own question, and the weight of his words washes over you like the pleasure that’s racing across your synapses. “that’s the sound that someone makes when they want to be bred.”
“simo-nnnnn!” you scream, the sound guttural and ragged, and your eyes can no longer see anything, and your ears are ringing, and- and–
simon laughs, the sound curling into something so, so fond. “y’r so pretty when y’cum, baby.” he kisses your wet cheek. “one more? f’r me?”
fuck-
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michellejwhp2719 · 8 months
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#gonna rant here a bit abt nothing much but just because I have no one to talk about it with#i kinda like this guy and honestly. its not that big of a deal. but i do think he might like someone else and i have no idea who and its#making me a bit insane. Like. im not too bothered by it bc i think of it more as a whim than anything else. and im not going to cry if he#doesn't like me back. Like. im 18 dude I have no business in worrying too deeply aboyt those sorts of things yk? but i do miss the feeling#of someone liking me back. I do feel like I haven't gotten that in a while and it does make me a bit sad. Yk the whole 'what is so-#inherently unlikeable about me' sorta thing. Should I keep waiting or should I do something or what. like. what do I do. Im trying to stay#focused on uni and my professional future but I cant help thinking about all these other things#I feel like its the being a young adult of it all. that if I wasnt maybe I wouldnt be thinking about it too hard. I already have so much on#my plate as it is. I cant focus on everything and I feel like I cant focus on anything anyway#I thought I was a bad person for thinking about making a move when I had JUST found out that he had broken up w his gf just a couple of#weeks prior to me finding out. but apparently for him it was a long time coming. And now he's completely moved on and likes someone else#and its driving me mad not knowing who it is. Because I also cant fathom the possibility of it being me. I really cant. And its gonna sound#so stupid and superficial but god. he has so many pretty girls in his life and Im just here. Im just me. How could it be me.#when it never is#like I said. its dumb. and im overthinking it but I cant help it. I dont even think I want an actual relationship or anything. but I do#want to be selfish about it. I want it to be me#And I feel terrible because I know this isn't about him. its about wanting someone to like me. and he doesn't deserve that.#I dont know what to do
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dancingbirdie · 7 months
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Okay so on Astarion, I was reading this fic about him not knowing Tavs true intentions with him and it bothering Astarion a lot, so what if he goes to some mage or magic user and asks them to show Tavs true intentions to him, when he does the vision he sees is just... being snuggled. It's Tav on top of him and the both of you are falling asleep, his hands are under your shirt softly petting your skin as your sleepy self is contently snuggled up to him. I just start crying about him finding out that Tavs DASTARDLY and EVIL plan with him, their greatest desire from him... is to simply be held. 🥺
Hi @goblin-creatcher! Thank you so much for this BEAUTIFUL prompt. I, uhh, kind of took it and went a million miles an hour with it. This is honestly one of my favorite things I've ever written. I hope you enjoy it as well! xoxoxo
Something Imagined / Something Real
Word Count: 3.9K
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Astarion x f!Tav
Warnings/Tags: Brief but detailed description of rough consensual sex, descriptions and references to Astarion's trauma/trauma responses, minor Act 1 and Act 2 spoilers, FLUFF, angst
Suggested Song Pairing: Slow Dancing in A Burning Room (Stripped) - cover by ST LUNA
Summary: Astarion has been suspicious of Tav’s true intentions toward him. He persuades Gale to cast a spell and reveal her motivations. ANGST and FLUFF ensue. A rewriting of Astarion’s confession scene from Act 2.
The sun had just begun to set on the campsite when Astarion decided to put his plan into action. He had waited until Tav departed with some of the other party members before making his way over to the wizard. Gale was too busy reassembling the bookshelf inside his tent to notice Astarion’s approach. It wasn’t until he gave a polite cough that Gale jumped and whirled to face him. 
“No, no, no,” he began all at once, hands raised in a sort of shooing motion. Astarion stared at him in confusion. “I can respect Tav’s indulging in your need for blood, but as I’ve said before: I taste terrible.” 
Astarion scoffed. “Charming. Actually, wizard, I was coming to request your aid in a different, though somewhat related, matter.”
“Really? Care to elaborate?” Gale responded, still somewhat wary. It wasn’t often he found himself alone with the vampire. 
“Testy, I see,” Astarion crooned teasingly. His knee-jerk response to people treating him like a monster, to behave in the most false saccharine sort of way. 
But he drew up short, censoring himself before saying anything else he might regret. He knew he needed to get on the wizard’s good side if he had any chance of getting the answers he sought. 
“I was hoping you knew a spell to reveal someone’s true intentions. Their… motivations for behaving in a certain way, so to speak,” he finished more seriously. 
Gale pondered the question for a moment before answering. 
“Hmm… yes, there is magic to determine that sort of thing… Although it’s been some time since I practiced it…” He trailed off, rubbing his chin in thought. 
“Why are you asking for such a thing?” he asked suddenly. 
Astarion had been prepared for this question, of course. No one did anything for free, no questions asked. He delivered his explanation perfectly, as he’d been rehearsing in his mind.
“One might say our dear sweet Tav and I have been growing a bit… closer these days, but I can sense a master manipulator when I see one. I just simply want to ensure their intentions toward me - toward the party - are true,” he replied with mock innocence. 
“Ah, yes,” Gale nodded. “I gathered as much when the two of you slipped away from the tiefling’s party a few nights ago.” 
“But,” he continued on,”I needn’t think you should worry when it comes to Tav. She seems about as transparent as they come. I’m sure any intentions she has toward you are true.”
Yes, but the best actors always mask their motivations behind innocence and transparency, Astarion thought to himself. I should know. I’ve been doing it for centuries.
After the party’s unfortunate meeting with that Gur in the Sunlit Wetlands, Astarion realized he would have to take potential threats from Cazador even more seriously. He wasn’t about to lose his freedom, not now that he finally had some small taste of it. 
It didn’t hurt to be more suspicious of everyone he encountered, even the sweetling Tav. Anyone could be an operative sent by Cazador, and the best ones would be as skilled as he was in the art of manipulation. It was well-known at this point that the person he’d grown the closest to on their journey was their brave party leader, Tav. Unlikely as it may be that she was scheming for his master, Astarion’s paranoia wouldn’t let him indulge in interactions with her a second longer unless he knew how she truly felt. 
Given Gale’s hesitation, Astarion knew he would have to kick his acting up a notch. Press on that wizard’s heartstrings. Touch the one nerve he knew he was sensitive to.
“Gale, darling, from one literally damaged soul to another, indulge me just this once,” Astarion beseeched him. 
The wizard glared at him a moment, before finally relenting with a heavy sigh. “Fine. Fine. But I want it known that I don’t agree with this so-called solution one whit,” he grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. 
“Yes, yes, noted and formally documented, on my word as a former Baldurian magistrate,” Astarion replied cheerily. “So, let’s hop to it then, shall we?”
“What, right now?” Gale asked, shocked. “Shouldn’t we be, I don’t know, a little less conspicuous?” 
“What better time than now?” Astarion responded. “Tav’s out gathering firewood with Wyll and Karlach. They won’t be back for some time. As for Lae’zel and Shadowheart, well…” he paused, gesturing over his shoulder. 
Said two were engaged in a heated sparring session on the outskirts of the camp. Snarls and curses could be heard emanating from both warriors as they tried, and failed, to gain the upper hand against their opponent.
“That lovers’ dance could go on until morning,” Astarion finished. 
“Fair point,” Gale admitted begrudgingly, grimacing at the sound of swords clashing violently. “Very well. Let’s get started.” 
Clearing his throat, Gale began to utter a series of phrases completely foreign to Astarion. He watched as the wizard began moving his hands in a wavelike pattern, forming a circle before them. Suddenly, a mist began to form from seemingly thin air, taking shape according to the boundaries Gale’s hands were creating. The mist grew more and more opaque until it appeared before them like a clouded mirror. 
As the fogginess of the ethereal magic began to clear, the “mirror” became a confusing blur of scenes whipping by, too fast for Astarion or Gale to really comprehend. There were flashes of Tav and Astarion, together and separate, but they disappeared too quickly to ascertain their context. It was as though the spell was shuffling through the entirety of Tav’s thoughts, assessing each one at breakneck speed. 
Finally, the spell slowed to a halt, stopping on one scene in particular. Astarion was struck speechless by what began playing out in the foggy portal before them. So distracted, he didn’t even notice Gale’s tight cough, or how the wizard suddenly became intensely interested in a copse of trees nearby, rather than the revelation the spell was revealing.
Not that the scene was especially profound, objectively speaking. In fact, to anyone else, it might be viewed as the least revelatory thing possible that the spell could have shown. Boring. Inconsequential, even. But to Astarion, it was almost earth shattering. 
He saw himself - he could see his face! - with Tav, lying tangled together in some immaculate four-poster bed. 
That was the first shock that coursed through him, nearly causing his knees to buckle. He was seeing himself for the first time in over 200 years. Or at least, he was seeing himself as Tav saw him. And… the person he saw… Well, he was gorgeous. White blonde locks, curled and tousled in a devil-may-care sort of way. A strong, patrician nose that suggested good breeding. High, sharp cheekbones. Full lips, upturned in a thoughtless grin. Red eyes bordered by long, sweeping lashes. Delicately pointed elven ears. Smooth alabaster skin, without blemish or spot. 
Astarion could scarcely believe his own eyes. 
The second shock to his system was the nature of their activities. He would have been less surprised had the vision shown them fucking. Him taking her roughly from behind perhaps. His name a cry of ecstasy from her lips as he pistoned in and out of her with a feral sort of determination. 
Fantasies of lust, of total domination, now those were things he was familiar with inspiring in the minds of the victims he had taken as lovers. It was what he strove for, in all honesty. Desire like that all but ensured he would capture his prey and live to serve another day for his master. 
But nothing of the sort was occurring between vision-Tav and himself. Instead, they were just… embracing? What in sweet hells was this?
She lay halfway on top of him. Her hair was mussed, perhaps from sleep or perhaps from previous lovemaking. One hand was drawing absentminded shapes across his chest, her lips trailing behind, leaving kisses in their wake. He watched as vision-Astarion chuckled softly, as his hands slipped beneath her sleepshirt to caress her waist, as he placed an innocent kiss on the top of Tav’s head. Eventually, she reached for his hand. They both watched their fingers intertwine, blissfully content.
It was the purest, unadulterated expression of affection that Astarion had ever seen. Something in his heart quaked at the sight of it. He wanted that moment. He envied, he hated, vision-Astarion for enjoying such apparent happiness.
So absorbed in the vision and its implications, Astarion failed to notice the soft padding of feet that indicated someone’s re-entry into the camp. 
“If the two of you are quite finished poking around in my head,” an angry voice suddenly spat from behind them, “I’d appreciate you preserving what little privacy I have left and shutting that damn spell off.”
Mortified, Astarion and Gale turned to see Tav, arms crossed and visibly seething with rage. Gale quickly dispelled the magic with a flick of his wrist. A blush was slowly but surely rising up Tav’s neck to reach her cheeks. Whether from rage or embarrassment, Astarion couldn’t be certain. 
“Tav, let us explain-” Astarion started.
“It was his idea-” Gale blurted at the same time, pointing at Astarion. 
Both paused, glaring at one another. But Tav would have none of their feeble attempts at backpedaling. 
“The explanation doesn’t matter. Whose idea it was doesn’t matter. The fact is that both of you violated the privacy of my mind, which I’ll remind you, has ALREADY been violated by having a bloody tadpole forced inside of it!” Tav shouted. At their words, the camp became enveloped in a heavy silence. Even the crickets ceased their chirping.
Astarion cringed inwardly, knowing the other party members could plainly hear this altercation and had likely stopped whatever it was that they had been doing to listen in. He noted the sounds of swords clanging together had ceased. He was certain Lae’zel and Shadowheart at least were aware of what was happening. Nosy bastards, all of them.
But what disturbed him even more was the realization that Tav’s eyes were welling with tears. She was too proud to acknowledge them or wipe them away. Such was her nature. But they were there nonetheless, and the knowledge that Astarion had brought her to the point of tears was enough to spur a rush of utter self-loathing inside him.
Without another word, Tav turned on her heel and marched stiffly out of camp, toward the direction of a nearby creek they’d identified as a water source earlier in the day.
“I can’t believe I let you convince me to perform that spell,” Gale said as she disappeared between the trees. He dragged his hands down his face. 
“How could we have been so doltish, forgetting that all of our privacies have already been violated with this tadpole business?”
Astarion didn’t have an answer to that. At least, not one the wizard could possibly understand. 
The thought hadn’t occurred to Astarion, he realized, because violations of privacy had been something so intrinsic to his being for over 200 years. He didn’t even recognize it as something abnormal. Like a fish unaware that the water surrounding it is, in fact, water. 
Violations of privacy were a part of life, at least for him. So much so that his request for Gale to perform that magic hadn’t even occurred to him as an overstepping of boundaries. To Astarion, it had simply been a matter of survival. He had needed to know another potentially manipulative person’s true intentions, and so he had found a means to uncover it and maintain the upper hand. 
Belatedly, he also realized that Gale’s hesitation to cast the spell had had nothing to do with being inconvenienced for the evening, but because the wizard had known that it was improper to do to another person. If he had misread that, Astarion wondered, then what other truly benevolent behaviors had he mistaken as pragmatic manipulation?
“I need to go find her,” Astarion murmured, clenching and unclenching his fists in an uncharacteristic fit of uncertainty. 
“Yes, you do,” Gale asserted. “We both owe her a sincere apology… if she’ll even accept it.”
“I’ll see if I can convince her to come back to camp,” Astarion replied, making to leave in the direction Tav had stormed off. 
“Wait,” Gale said, a hand on his shoulder. Astarion turned to meet his gaze. 
“Look, well, I’m obviously not an expert in healthy demonstrations of affection. But I do think it’s obvious from what you saw in that spell that Tav well and truly cares about you. In perhaps the purest way possible. Treat that carefully.”
Part of Astarion wanted to laugh aloud in utter hopelessness at the wizard’s advice. Someone cared for him? Truly and purely? No hidden games, no strings attached? Oh certainly, that wouldn’t be a problem for Astarion at all. Obviously, his 200-year existence as a master-manipulator-fetch-hound for a power-hungry vampire lord had perfectly prepared him to respond to this situation in a healthy manner. Obviously.
But all that was too much to reveal to someone he barely knew and too heavy to say aloud. Rather than giving some smarmy retort, Astarion opted instead to give a stiff nod and continue walking toward the edge of camp. He had no idea how he could make things right with Tav, but at the very least he could try. 
***
He found Tav sitting on a fallen tree near the edge of the creek bed. Her legs were drawn up to her chest, arms wrapped around them as she rested a cheek to her knees. In the waning twilight, she reminded Astarion of some misbegotten gargoyle perched on the roof of a temple, solitary and so very sad. 
Her ears twitched as she noted his arrival. Astarion wasn’t trying to be stealthy. On top of everything else, the last thing he needed to do was scare her. 
“Can I join you?” he asked softly, wincing to himself at the awkwardness of the question. 
The reality was that there was no way to broach this conversation without some stilted beginning, and he hated it. Navigating tricky conversations was normally something he excelled at. But as he was quickly finding, when it related to Tav, nothing in his past life had prepared him to respond to her well. 
“If you’d like,” Tav answered tonelessly. 
Knowing it was probably the best response he was going to get, Astarion swallowed thickly and moved to sit down on the log next to her. 
“I… wanted to… apologize for what you saw, back at camp,” he began.
“Apologize for doing it, or apologize for getting caught?” Tav asked as she turned her head to look at him, resting her other cheek on her knees. 
Astarion balked at the question. Her piercing gaze unnerved him. He hadn’t really thought that far. 
“Both, I suppose?” he answered honestly, although it sounded more like a question to Tav. She huffed a laugh.
“You know, part of me really wants to yell at you. Scream in your face. Tell you off proper,” she mused.
“So why don’t you?” Astarion asked, perplexed. 
Tav didn’t respond at first, just sat there studying him. As if by staring at him long enough, she could project the answer into his mind. 
Astarion didn’t interrupt her, much as he would have liked to. Part of him always bristled when people gazed at him for too long. It was unfair that they could study him, when he hadn’t been able to so much as glance at his reflection in over 200 years. 
Finally, Tav released a heavy sigh, her body curling further in on itself. She closed her eyes as she spoke.
“Because then I would be just like every other bastard in your life who’s mistreated you.”
Astarion flinched in surprise. Those had not been the sort of words he’d been expecting. The truth of them cut deeper than had she raged at him like she wanted to. It left him feeling even more vulnerable, and that in turn made him want to retreat into the comfort of viciousness.
“I don’t need you to pull any punches,” he scoffed, glaring at her. “Go ahead and say what you will.”
She straightened up at his tone, opening her eyes and returning his glare. 
“No. I don’t want to,” she said testily.
“I don’t need your pity,” he hissed. “It’s insulting.”
“Gods damn it all, Astarion!” Tav exclaimed suddenly, causing him to jump in surprise. She threw her hands up in defeat. “I’m not doing anything out of pity! I don’t want to rage at you, because I know that whatever I say right now, I won’t mean it come the morning!”
Astarion blinked. Once again he was left feeling flat footed by the turn of the conversation. Sensing his surprise, Tav continued on with her deluge of words.
“You hurt me tonight, and I’m angry at you - and at Gale, for that matter - for what you did. But you’ve shared enough of your… history… with me, that I realize your behavior is just… just a byproduct of centuries of abuse and manipulation you’ve endured! And I won’t be another abuser in your life. I won’t,” she asserted. 
Astarion continued staring at her, as if she were some otherworldly creature that had just wandered across his path. He watched as Tav inhaled a deep breath, releasing it shakily. She turned away from him to peer out into the forest, uncertain. She opened and closed her mouth several times before actually speaking. As if whatever she was about to say was more intimidating to her than anything else she’d said tonight. 
“I… care deeply for you, Astarion,” she said quietly. “You obviously saw that in the vision. I’m not playing any games. There’s no hidden motive. I’m not trying to manipulate you.”
She turned to look at him again before continuing, her breathing a bit unsteady. 
“I didn’t sleep with you that night of the tiefling party as some sort of maneuver to gain your trust. Although I understand if that was your motivation for doing so.” 
Astarion’s expression morphed into one of guilt. But Tav nodded soberly, as if she had already expected it, before continuing on. 
“It’s okay. I’m not angry. But I’m putting all my cards on the table now, so to speak. Actually, your decision tonight forced my hand, but I had been planning on telling you soon anyway. So, there you have it. The truth of my intentions. What you do with that information is up to you.”
She turned back to gaze out at their surroundings. Like she was giving him the opportunity to bolt away without her watching him. As if she expected him to flee from her confession. 
But Astarion didn’t flee. He remained seated, staring at her in complete wonderment. 
“Why?” he asked quietly.
She looked back at him again, confusion evident on her face. 
“Why what?”
“Why do you care for me? You’re so… well-adjusted. And I’m well… this,” he finished lamely, placing a hand on his chest. 
Tav pursed her lips. “It would be a mistake to misconstrue my empathy for you as me being well-adjusted. Everyone has their own demons, Astarion,” she murmured. “Mine just look different from yours.”
Astarion mulled her words over in his mind, considering them. He leaned forward to brace his forearms on his knees, his head drooping slightly. 
“I…,” he started, unsure. “That vision… what it implied… You deserve something real, Tav. You’re incredible… truly.” 
Tav closed her eyes, bracing for the fallout. Even though she would accept his decision, whatever it was, she didn’t think she could bear to watch him deny her. It would hurt too much. 
“Look. When we met, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan,” he blurted all at once. Rising swiftly to his feet, Tav watched as he began to pace before her, near to bursting with frenetic energy. 
“Seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you’d never turn on me,” he counted off, laughing half-heartedly. “It was… easy - instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in. All you had to do was fall for it. And all I had to do… was not fall for you… which is where my nice, simple plan fell apart,” he finished, stopping to stand before her. 
She held his gaze, speechless. 
“I want you,” he whispered fervently. “I want what was in that vision… I want us to be something real.”
Never in a million years had she thought he would respond to her like this. She opened her mouth to speak, but Astarion cut her off with another sudden exclamation. 
“I just don’t know what real is,” he confessed, his tone a touch hysterical. Tav knew from his body language that being this transparent was completely out of Astarion’s comfort zone. 
“Being… close to someone - any kind of intimacy - was something I performed to lure people back. For him. Even though I know things between us are different, being with someone still feels… tainted. Still brings up those feelings of disgust, and loathing. I… I don’t know how else to be with someone. No matter how much I’d like to,” he finished, staring at her with beseeching eyes, willing her to understand.
Tav rose to her feet, coming to stand before him. 
“I don’t want you for your body,” she whispered. “Or to perform any acts of intimacy. We can be together, without sleeping together, for as long as you need.”
“Really,” he asked softly, his voice pitched low, rough with emotion.
“Really,” Tav asserted, giving him a small smile. “Would it be all right if…” she paused, conflicted. He eyed her curiously.
“Could I hug you?” she whispered.
The fact that she asked before doing so caused a well of emotion to spring up inside him. Eyes watering, Astarion nodded. 
Slowly, Tav moved forward to wrap her arms around his waist. Her head nestled into the crook of his neck and shoulder. A perfect fit. He felt her exhale a deep sigh.
Tav hugging him was a sensation unlike any he had ever felt. At least, any he could remember feeling. The act of being touched, embraced, without any desire for something more. She just wanted to hold him, feel him close to her. It was incomprehensible to him, but utterly enjoyable, at the same time. 
Slowly, ever so slowly, Astarion raised his arms to return Tav’s embrace. Drawing her even closer, he bowed his head to rest his cheek against her hair. It was soft, like the finest silk. He closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply, appreciating her sweet, floral scent.   
She made to pull away after a moment, not wishing to overwhelm him. But Astarion gripped her more firmly, a silent urge for them to stay that way a little longer. 
“This… this is nice,” he whispered. 
He both felt and heard Tav hum contentedly in response. 
It wasn’t identical to the vision from Tav’s mind that he had seen, but Astarion reveled in their embrace nonetheless. It felt like the beginning of something new. And for the first time in his very, very long life, Astarion felt excited at the prospects of what would come next. 
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Trapped - Charles Leclerc
Dark fic - if you don't like this or the warnings/themes make you uncomfortable. I can't stress this enough, DO NOT READ THIS
Summary: Charles has mentioned a girlfriend. He's hinted at her on social media with faceless pictures. But where is she? Who is she? And why is she so hidden when he insists there's no issue about privacy or secrecy in the relationship?
Themes/warnings: Baby-trapping, Stockholm syndrome(ish?), mild smut (sort of unconventional toys used), kind of soft (but very deranged/unhinged) energy!Charles, pregnancy, morning sickness
No part 2 requests please
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Charles strokes a hand down y/n's body, his hand flat on her tummy as he thrusts in and out of her. Their bodies climaxing together, he possibly tight grip from her pussy just milks him till he feels he's drained everything into her.
His hand smoothes over her skin, the hopes that this will be a successful attempt that will eventually see y/n's tummy slowly starting to grow.
Though he moves his hand down to the small bulge in her lower tummy from him being planted so deeply and firmly inside of her. The pressure making her cry out from feeling completely overstimulated and overwhelmed by the full feeling and sheer amount of pressure in her.
"Don't move." Charles instructs leaning over her and pecking her lips while she lies too dazed to even think about attempting to move anywhere.
She knows the routine by this point anyway. She's accepted that Charles wants a baby and he's willing to do anything to encourage the chances of that happening.
She tries not to whimper (and fails), as he pushes a plug into her to keep it from leaking out. The idea of increasing her chances of a positive pregnancy test within a few weeks being the ultimate aim.
Y/n wants it as much as Charles by this point. If only for the fact Charles is locking her away from the world until he's successful.
It wasn't how their relationship started, though he's always seemed to prefer her to remain as someone he keeps for himself. He's assured her that once she's pregnant, he doesn't want her leaving side unless he's in the car on the track.
But until then, he's keeping her as safe as possible. Locked away from the rest of the world in his apartment at home. No flights around the world and attending race weekends.
He wants her safe and sound where he doesn't need to worry about her getting away or being tempted by other me until he's got her trapped with a baby rather than trapped in his apartment.
The thing is. She's not a secret to the world, though she's faceless and nameless.
No one knows who she is, what she actually looks like or even where she is.
It's as if she's a secret, but she's not.
Charles appears with some water for her, smiling as she sits up enough for him to hold it to her lips and tip it for her to drink. He's actually very tentative with aftercare and while he doesn't exactly "clean" her up till he decides to remove the plug. He does pull her up to cuddle with him.
"Je t'aime." Charles whispers kissing her temple as they lie together. "Y/n?"
"Je t'aime aussi." Y/n mumbles back then turning her head to look at him.
-
Y/n sighs as she settles herself down in her set up to watch Charles get into the car for quali.
He's just sent her his last text as he always does before he gets in the car. She'd be willing to bet that if he's caught on his phone at any point during the weekend there's a 99% chance that he's talking to her.
Y/n remembers when she met Charles. He made no attempt to hide how he is with her now from the get go. Initially she was flattered, then she was invited to Monaco and she stepped in his apartment and never left.
At first she was naive. She thought he was just obsessed with her company and she wasn't so bothered about not having left his side. He'd well and truly charmed and seduced her to staying in his bed as long as he wanted to keep her there.
Baby trapping also wasn't his original reason for being so attached to her, at least that's no how she sees it.
But things changed when after those first few days, she found herself waking up alone and she found a note in his place saying not to leave the apartment and not to panic. That he'd be back in a few days and to message him so they could talk when she woke up.
Obviously she panicked. She tried to get out but was met with no success and she's been in his apartment ever since. To his credit, he managed to calm her down and assure her that she was in no danger in his absence.
Most women would slap her and tell her to call the police and get herself saved. But for some reason talking to him, it calmed her and made her feel...safe. Which seemed to be Charles' intention.
It's been about a month. Charles doesn't need to lock her in the apartment (though he does), because she stays willingly. Her family and friends reached out in concern and she promised she was fine and happy.
Days turned to weeks and now she's been here just sort of waiting around for him to come back and watching him while he's away.
Despite her contentment with her situation, people who do know her have commented about it. Her family and friends have raised concern over her sudden decision to be in Monaco with Charles. They also question why she's not with Charles at races. To which she actively avoids answering.
Telling them "well once I get pregnant his protectiveness of keeping me locked away for safety changes to keeping me handcuffed to his side unless he's actually in that red car he drivers around on different tracks around the world" is definitely going to raise alarm.
She knows how silly and scary it sounds. She knows it paints Charles as a crazy man. Maybe he is. But doesn't that mean she's crazy for loving him?
A man who currently has her locked in his apartment going on a month now and almost certainly has means of making sure she doesn't leave that go beyond just the lock on the front door. However, does she have an interest in finding out? No.
It's not as if Charles only wants her so he can have a child. If anything that's just another positive but really he wants a child so she has to have him in her life no matter what. A child together locks them into each other's lives.
Charles has told her he won't keep her locked in there forever, he's explained to her that this is how he keeps her safe from the world.
He qualifies in the top 5 and she tilts her head watching him appear for his interview in the media pen.
They ask him about the car, the quality, how he feels an as they've seemed to ask more often as he posts more unidentifying pictures of y/n to share with the world. Always keeping her face out of the picture whether it's by taking the picture from her back or just cutting the picture so her head isn't in it, or he has shared pictures where he's there with her.
"No girlfriend again? We want to meet her."
"No. Not this weekend, but maybe soon. She's watching though. Hello, mon amour. I will see you on Monday. Je t'aime." Charles smiles looking in the camera and blowing her a kiss that unbeknownst to him does make her feel a little giddy and shift in her seat a little.
"Je t'aime aussi." Y/n whispers to herself almost feeling like she has cracked and fell into insanity by talking to him through the tv. So to make herself feel slightly less crazy, she picks up her phone and texts Charles the message to make sure he knows she was in fact watching as he said.
-
By the time Charles returns to her, she's eagerly awaiting his return and the moment he's through the door she tosses herself onto him in excitement of his return.
"I missed you." Y/n grins kissing him several times, her legs tightly around his waist as he reaches back to close the door. "You did amazing. I'm so proud of you."
"Yes, well everyone is more eager to see you than me. I think everyone wants to know you." Charles hums thinking to his team all asking about why y/n hasn't attended a race when he's so openly showed the relationship to the world.
He can only imagine the reactions when he inevitably finally shows up with his girlfriend and only within a couple months she'll be showing a bump.
“I think they are beginning to think you’re a criminal or something.” Charles states making her grin at him. “How are you feeling?”
“Hmm better now you’re back.” Y/n shrugs still smiling. “I was just hoping to cuddle for a bit with you back?”
"Oui chérie." Charles nods before she smiles at him lightly.
They lie down cuddling up together, Charles tells y/n all about his weekend.
"But enough about me. What did you do over the weekend?" Charles asks making her swallow and look at him for a moment.
"I...I waited for you." Y/n smiles with a shrug before she looks at him for a moment. "I can't wait to be there with you."
-
Another race weekend another weekend y/n is asked about but Charles just said she is at home. Which is entirely true.
But what he doesn't know is that with him being gone for two consecutive weekends a development has happened. Y/n is starting her days with a wave of sickness.
Y/n sighs deciding to clean herself up as she has the past few days. Originally she thought she might just have a stomach bug, though maybe that was just naive thinking.
Thanks to Charles so badly wanting her to be pregnant. He had multiple pregnancy tests for when he day came that she had her suspicions.
"Charles?" Y/n mumbles into the phone after she feels like she's actually feeling well enough to deliver the news.
"I can't talk for long, amour." Charles states shifting around.
"I'm pregnant...I took some tests and they're all positive."
Charles suddenly has all the time in the world and he locks himself away in his drivers room to make sure he isn't bothered.
"I am not back for days." Charles states seemingly stressed but she smiles lightly.
"I will be safe here till you come home. It's ok." Y/n smiles before she sighs and looks at him for a moment. "I just didn't want to waste any time."
"I will be on my way home as soon as the media is done."
-
As promised Charles appeared, eager to see is girlfriend who admittedly looks a little worse for wear than she did when he left. The morning sickness hit her quite hard.
The next two weeks were Charles fussing and getting her to doctors and confirming the pregnancy with a blood test.
Then once all was confirmed.
They sort of got back to the usual.
Admittedly, y/n didn't realise how much comfort she now felt with Charles until she'd stepped out into the world again and found herself latched onto him.
It was a couple more weeks before the next race and when the day finally came for them to travel. Y/n hardly let go of her boyfriend unless absolutely necessary.
The world does just suddenly feel so much more threatening and dangerous than she remembers from only a few weeks ago.
When Charles and y/n walk into the paddock there's a lot of eyes on them but Charles isn't hiding his girlfriend, he's quite proudly smirking at the attention.
-
By the time y/n's bump becomes obvious, the paddock, fans and media are all pretty damn shocked.
"Charles. Charles Leclerc. Are you going to be a dad?" Laura asks with excitement.
"Yes. I am. Very exciting stuff." Charles confirms earning nods from the interviewer.
"That's amazing, congratulations."
Laura wasn't the only one to notice, plenty of comments online told him that some people seemed to know there was baby trapping going on. However, they suspected y/n was the reason behind it rather than Charles.
Hell he'd even been told by other drivers that he didn't waste any time with her and that he locked her in. Oh how little do they realise how literal that is.
Charles has gone from his girlfriend being duped the "invisible" girlfriend to the "most bragged about and showed off" girlfriend in the grid.
Though some have noted that she sort of doesn't interact with many people. Instead she holds onto Charles as almost speaks either only to him or through him.
"Mon amour." Charles smiles as he appears from the car after FP2 and spots her in the garage. He's made sure she has a seat in the garage sort of away out of the way but also away from anyone who might try to speak to her.
He still wants her kept away from others when it comes to general interactions. Though he trusts he in the hands of Joris and Andrea, he still prefers her to be away from everyone if possible.
"Are you feeling ok?" Charles asks gently reaching down to rub over the small bump as he leans over her for a kiss.
"Yeah, just watching and observing."
Y/n hasn't exactly loved being pregnant, especially because some comments from Charles about how he's got her exactly where he wants her and even the comments from the public have made her feel like maybe this was a mistake.
But she knows the risk of leaving Charles. That risk being that she'll see a side to him that even so far he's kept hidden a way. A darker side that might see her locked away in a much more sinister way and she might not be able to deny what's right in front of her.
They're going to be a happy family and Charles is going to have everything he wants. She'll embrace it however she needs to so she can be as happy as possible with him.
Taglist: @hiireadstuff @ellienorriss @decafmickey @daemyratwst @flowersonstreets @bethanymccauley @randomnessis-mine-me @sunf1ower16 @rylie-lothbrok @cixrosie @8justme @jehun @scopeiguess @bborra
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yuri-is-online · 4 months
Text
Why So Rude? (Or Yuu's BF Asks Crewel for their Hand in Marriage and What Happens Next Will Shock You)
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For legal reasons, this is a joke. I have been dealing with a health issue of sorts (i am not dying so no worrying ok? just v annoyed) so writing longer stuff is escaping me at the moment, enjoy some crack while I take a breather. More can be found on my masterlist here.
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NO (FLOYD, Rook, and Malleus)
Crewel has been in denial about this "relationship" since it started. Not that his disapproval is really going to stop Floyd, but Crewel 100% refers to him as "Yuu's ex boyfriend" much to the confusion of... everyone who hears that. They do find some common ground in their shared interest in fashion, but Crewel has never forgiven him for his behavior in his class OR his "stealing" Yuu's heart.
Rook on the other hand he didn't have too much of an issue with until he realized just how familiar he seemed to be with his home for someone who had supposedly only been there to visit you. The twenty page letter he wrote to confess his feelings to you didn't help either once he saw the few lines where Rook wrote about the beauty of your finger prints, but he knows his disapproval means very little to someone as obsessed with romance as Rook.
Malleus... is the King of a country genuinely hostile to humans and Crewel thinks he is a little too obsessed with Yuu for his own good. He is also not a fan of how condescending Malleus is towards his disapproval, but it's an issue that will be worked out eventually. They are fighting out of love for the same person, your safety and happiness is all they really care about at the end of the day.
No, but as a joke (Sebek and Jack)
I don't think he has anything against him really, he just wants to see how important tradition and the opinion of his elders actually is to him. When Sebek begins to plead his case because he does not wish to put a wedge between Yuu and their father figure, but cannot deny his feelings for Yuu Crewel's more than happy to "change his mind." He knows you will be happy and well looked after.
Jack is a solid partner, and he is a wolf beastman who speaks of Yuu as his soulmate, his one and only, his eternal life partner and- well. Crewel just can't resist a bit of teasing, he's always been so serious and easy to fluster about these sort of things. The sheepish look on his face when he realizes Crewel has been teasing him makes it very worth it.
I can't stop you can I... (Leona, Kalim, and Rollo)
While Crewel has faith that Leona has what it takes to save his home- he lives in the Sunset Savannah. That is really far away from the Queendom of Roses ( ; ω ; ) have some pity on your poor father he can't travel that far all the time it's bad for his skin. The pressures of being the partner of royalty is something he worries over, but a smug promise from Leona to protect you soothes his worries somewhat.
The flippant way Kalim talks about the assassination attempts is not the way Crewel wants to hear about attempts on your life or heaven forbid your death. Kalim is very sympathetic to this, he has no real argument against how ignorant he was in the past, but he isn't a child anymore. Just filled with a childlike love for the world and determination to make it better. It is hard to say no to that.
Rollo is too much like Trein. His request for your hand in marriage feels like something that the old man would cry tears of genuine joy over, so of course he hates it. Unfortunately he also knows how much this teen grandfather matters to you or whatever so the answer will be yes. At least he has an excuse to visit Fleur City more now.
Give me one good reason. (Azul, Jade, Idia, and Lilia)
Azul was such a good student that he should have zero complaints that you started dating. But he also isn't blind and dislikes being pandered to, which is very much what Azul is doing here. He does wonder briefly if this is a cultural thing and he is being insensitive, but he is still exasperated enough to not immediately say yes. The strange twinkle that comes to Azul's eyes at the prospect of negotiations makes him wish he had though.
Speaking of not being blind, what does the Leech family do and is it legal? Survey says probably yes, but Crewel remembers dealing with Jade's parents while he was in school and has no desire to feed his child to the shar- err eels. Jade immediately begins to sniffle, oh how could Crewel say such bad things about him? A poor innocent eel and blah blah blah. If Jade wasn't such a good partner he'd be cooked.
Crewel understands and appreciates the effort Idia has put in to his personal growth and he has no desire to shit on that... but S.T.Y.X. and the secrecy around it is no joke. He wants to continue having a relationship with Yuu and as soon as Idia reassures him of that he has no more objections.
Lilia is an old man, a war criminal, and a father. Of course Crewel has seen how he was able to live as a student while at NRC but his own credit as a father would be under fire if he didn't object mildly. Lilia has some fun with it and has a bit more respect for him for objecting. So long as the eventual answer is yes.
Yes (Riddle, Trey, Cater, Ruggie, Jamil, and Epel)
While Crewel does have some red flag concerns concerning Riddle's mother, he has no real objections to Riddle himself. He is a perfect gentlemen and the correct amount of nervous to be asking the question. He gets full marks, as if there would ever be any other outcome.
Trey is that sort of solid option that parents really love, but he also has that tight personal relationship with Crewel from his Science Club days. He lives in the Queendom and is tight with his own family there are few better places for Yuu to be.
While Cater isn't Crewel's favorite student, he doesn't hate him or the Shaftlands. He is also not entirely unconvinced that him asking is for a magicam trend but! He has no real major objections. He is more than ready to have two kids, as soon as Cater is willing to admit he could use a stable father figure.
I don't think that Ruggie would even suggest marrige unless he's obtained that stable, high paying job he so baldy wants and has moved his Granny out of the slums. It's the perfect time to ask for permission to propose, and while the Savannah is still super far away (r.i.p. Crewel's skin) he is much more supportive of the two of you and how far you've come.
Similarly to Ruggie, I don't think Jamil would propose to Yuu unless his personal issues with Kalim and his position with the Asim's had been sorted. He wants to actually travel on his honeymoon, and Crewel is very willing to suggest the Queendom of Roses. Jamil's ego is absolutely stroked by how Crewel had zero objections but your adoptive dad doesn't get to see how smug it makes him, Jamil saves the smirks for when you say yes.
I think that Crewel seems to like all of the first years, and Epel is no exception. Sure, his request starts out well put together and polite but devolves into a dialect that leaves Crewel with no idea of what he's saying, but he has a general idea. Of course Epel has his blessing, Harveston sounds like a lovely place for Yuu to live their life in Twisted Wonderland and Epel a perfect person to keep them safe and happy.
He already planned the wedding (Ace, Deuce, Silver and Vil)
I know what you're saying. Crewel approving of Ace? Of course he does! He was in his homeroom class, and Crewel has a soft spot for trouble makers from the Queendom, he was one after all! Sure he might have had some problems with him when you first started dating, but now, when he is deathly serious saying he wants to spend the rest of his life with you? Crewel has been waiting for this since he fist saw carrot head yanking your chain.
Deuce is a much easier sell, Crewel was always a bit harsh on his intelligence, but only because he ran a tight ship and wanted him to reach for the stars. Well he has, and he has you to support him through it, Crewel is so proud of both. He and Dilla have absolutely been hypothetically planning this for years.
While Silver's curse did not endear him to Crewel for his first two years of schooling, he really grew on him when you started going out. He's glad that you've found someone who loves you as much as Silver does, really he is. Unfortunately this means he has to plan a wedding with Lilia, something they both have been doing since you started going out and never talked about. Don't worry! They only intend to fight a lot little bit.
The instant you started dating Vil Crewel entered his mother of the bride era. The permission asking was less Vil wanting to be polite and more him coming up with a way to distract him and convince him to focus on designing the clothes. Thankfully it works and no one other than his dogs have to know just how insane the prospect of his two favorite students marrying made him.
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verstappen-cult · 25 days
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I would LOVE a part two of the birthday drabble if ur open to that? maybe how max tries to ask for reader’s forgiveness? maybe asking Charles for help but he’s just like “no u gotta figure it out on ur own this time buddy” bc he’s mad at him too?
PART ONE. Max totally blanks on your birthday plans and it’s not pretty.
Max is pacing around the kitchen when you wake up the next morning. When his gaze snaps up to meet yours, you can see the bags under his eyes. You think about reaching for him when you remember what happened, so, you simply walk past him to make some coffee.
“Good morning, schat.” He whispers, looking down. You’re still very much hurt but seeing him like this breaks your heart. 
Maybe you’re being too mean, giving him the cold shoulder and not even meeting his eyes, but you also think about what your best friend said last night when you called her crying. He needs to sort out his priorities and give you what you deserve. And you also need to stand up for yourself, you’ve let Max get away with similar things in the past and it’s time for that to stop. 
“Good morning,” Charles says as he enters the kitchen. He looks at Max but doesn’t say anything when he sees his eyes filled with tears. You’re hurt but he’s angry. “Want me to drive to your appointment?” 
“Mmh.” You nod, taking your cup of coffee and going back to your room. 
Charles opens the fridge and tries to look busy waiting for Max to get the fuck out of the kitchen. But that doesn’t happen and he is forced to close the door and face his boyfriend. 
“Have you talked to her?” Max asks him, rubbing his hand over his face. 
“Yea’,” Charles simply answers, trying to choose between an apple or banana for breakfast. You or Max are the ones always cooking because Charles just can’t do it, but you’re not in the mood to make breakfast and he’s definitely not gonna ask Max. “I’m not the one who fucked everything up.” 
“I’m sorry, okay? I just—I didn’t forget, but there were—”
“I don’t fucking care, Max. It was her birthday! It was supposed to be special but instead of enjoying the one day—the only day she really asks for our attention, she cried all the way home.”  
Max feels like crying again. He feels awful but doesn’t know what to do to make things better. 
The Dutchman opens his mouth but before he can say anything, Charles holds his palm up, shutting him up. 
“I won’t tell you what to do, you need to figure that out by yourself.” 
Charles storms out of the kitchen, leaving a sad Max behind. 
You don’t say goodbye when you leave but Charles, at least, tells him that they should be home by eight, to not wait for them because they will be having lunch together. He doesn’t ask Max if he wants to join. 
Max doesn’t know what to do. 
You’ve never been this angry before. Charles is a different story, they’ve been racing their whole lives together, so, he has seen parts of Charles you don’t even know. 
Max thinks about calling his mom to ask her for advice, God, even calling his sister, but rejects the idea because he knows what they will say. 
It’s all his fault. Stupid Max, stupid SimRacing—
Max gets up from the couch, he doesn’t know how much has passed since you left, but the sun is already sitting down. 
When Max enters his streaming room he wants to cry again. And he does. 
He cries as he disconnects everything. He cries when he smashes the camera onto the floor. He cries while throwing a chair across the room, crashing against the wall. He cries looking at the mess he made, the mess he is.
Max falls to the floor and cries, and cries, and cries, until he feels two strong arms around him and soft words spoken into his ear. 
“Max, breathe with me, please,” Charles begs, caressing his back and lifting his chin up with his free hand. Max’s gaze focuses on his face as he imitates his boyfriend, inhaling and exhaling slowly. It takes some time, but Max eventually stops shaking. “Oh, Max. What did you do?” Charles sounds so broken and disappointed, Max doesn’t want him to feel like that. He’s done so much already. 
Max starts crying again. 
“Shh, it’s okay,” Charles wipes his tears and kisses his eyelids. 
Max doesn’t deserve this. 
“Hey, love.” Max turns his head around at the sound of your voice. You crouch down next to him, a soft smile dancing on your lips. “Would you drink this, please? For me?” He doesn’t need to be asked twice. You guide the glass to his lips and he drinks the water — with a little bit of sugar you always add when you’re not feeling okay. 
Max wants to talk, he wants to apologize again, he wants to scream at you and Charles for being so attentive with him when he doesn’t deserve it. But he feels so tired, all he can do is lean into your touch when you cradle his face with both your hands, palms comfortable against the stubble on his cheeks. 
“We’re gonna buy new things and me and Charles will help you set everything up, okay?”
Max wants to scream. Instead, he barely has the voice to say, “I don’t want any of this. I fucked up because of this stupid shit.”
“Max,” Charles calls his name, moving around so he’s sitting next to you. “You love it.”
“I love you more.” He simply says, looking between you and Charles. “I’m so sorry, I’m sorry…” He lets silent tears fall down his cheeks. 
“I know you’re sorry.” You lean to leave a kiss on his forehead, then, you look directly into his eyes. “I’m still hurt, Max. I won’t lie. We need to have a long conversation, the three of us, but I don’t want you to quit something that you love and enjoy so much. I just,” You notice you’re crying when Max wipes the tears with his thumb. “I want to be a priority in your life.”
“And you are!” He wants to smash his head onto the floor. “God you,” He takes your hand, lips quivering. “and you,” He takes Charles’s hand then. He guides them to his chest, just where his heart is. “are the most important people in my life. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
There’s still so much to say but, for right now, you just want to be as close as possible. You’ll have plenty of time to figure out how to go from here.
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amomentsescape · 4 months
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Hey I love yanderes and slashers and used to have a sleep walking problem where I would try to crawl through windows, can you do a yandere slasher x reader where the reader has developed Stockholm syndrome and been loving to the slasher so they trust them and let them have more freedom. Then they see them try to crawl out a window in their sleep? How would they react? Would they believe the reader? What would make them believe them if they didn't? If they didn't believe them the how would they react to finding out the reader told the truth?
Thank you so much! And merry Christmas! 🎄 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅
Slashers with Reader Who Sleepwalks & Tries to Leave
Yandere! Slashers x Reader (Separate)
Warnings: Yandere behavior, of course. Mentions of abusive behavior
A/N: Merry (late) Christmas! I hope you all had a great holiday! For this request, I decided to leave Eric out. He's just the complete opposite to a Yandere in my opinion, and it was nearly impossible for me to write him as such. I hope that's okay!
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Freddy Krueger
He knows you would never purposefully leave him
Like, he actually knows
His (undead) life revolves around sleep
He knows when you're awake and where you're actually sleeping, even if he keeps you stuck in his dream world
So when he finds you trying to escape out of the little window he built for you, he just laughs
He had already known you sleep walked
He'd been haunting your dreams for weeks prior to actually taking you
Freddy just keeps watching you, not really doing anything about it
You're stuck in his world either way
Might as well see how far you'll go
He'll almost use this as a test of sorts
He'll let you wander to wherever you want to go in your sleep, and he may even change the environment to something you don't recognize
When you wake up, his name better be the first thing that falls from your lips
If it's not...
Well, he'll just have to try harder at getting you to need him
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Michael Myers
It took a very long time for Michael to get to this point
The fact that he lets you sleep without chains is a huge decision on his part
He doesn't trust easily
And any feelings of trust he did have come crumbling down the moment he wakes up without you beside him
It didn't take long to find you
There you were, pushing and prodding at the boarded up window
He's truly pissed
And a little hurt
He really thought you were growing to actually like your situation
But when he spins you around and sees your eyes staring blankly through him, he tilts his head
You don't seem... right?
He'll shake you harshly until he sees the life come back to your eyes
When you finally look up at him with a similarly confused look on your face, he starts to realize
He understands you well enough to know when you're not acting like yourself
When he finally explains what you were doing after you repeatedly asked him, you sigh
You explain that sometimes at night, you wander around without realizing it
A sleepwalker, huh?
Sadly, the chains will need to come out again
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Jason Voorhees
You wouldn't actually leave him, right?
You seemed so caring
He actually believed you when you said you needed him
But here you were, trying to leave your shared home in the middle of the night
He almost breaks down as he picks you up and takes you back to your room
He finds it a bit odd that you don't fight back at all, but he assumes you just don't care to
He locks you up and makes sure that you can't go anywhere
How could you do this to him?
When you wake up the next morning in chains and not in your shared bed, you begin to cry for Jason
He tries to ignore you, but he can't bring himself to hear your sad voice calling out to him
You try your best to tell him that you don't remember what happened, and that you would never leave him
And maybe he's too trusting, but he believes you
You just seem so sad and so genuine that it's impossible for him to think it's anything other than honesty
You couldn't be that stupid anyways
You'd get lost in those woods alone at night, he knows that
So he just has to believe you
He loves you, and love means trust, right?
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Thomas Hewitt
But you were being so sweet to him just hours before
How could you lie to his face like that?
He wakes up without you in his arms, and he just about loses it
Frantically searches for you around the house and finally finds you at one of the nailed in windows
He pulls you away quickly, staring at you sadly
He's waiting for an explanation, but you don't say anything
You just stare
You weren't acting like yourself
He pushes you back towards the bedroom and you walk the rest of the way yourself, climbing back into bed with ease
He's confused, but decides to see if it will happen again
You can't leave anyways
The whole house is locked up, and you don't even know where the keys are
You act just like your normal self the next day
And that night, you're back to walking around with a blank stare
He figures this just might be a thing you do
Doesn't really try to stop you, but he does follow you most nights to make sure you don't accidentally hurt yourself
On nights he wants you in bed, he ties some old fabric around your ankle and holds you tight while you sleep
You might not ever know about your late night adventures unless he decides to tell you
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Bubba Sawyer
He's quite literally blubbering to you
He's crying, he's frantic, he even shakes you a bit, and you just stand there not responding
He keeps waiting, and when you start to just wander around again, he loses it
What's wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?
He ties you back into bed and stays up the rest of the night, watching you
The next morning, he confronts you stressfully
You keep telling him over and over that you don't know what he's talking about
But he refuses to believe you
(He wants to believe you, he's just scared)
He only finally realizes you were being honest when in the middle of the day during your nap, he finds you wandering back to the window with his whole family watching you
You weren't stupid
Why would you try to leave when literally everyone could see you in broad daylight?
His family begins laughing and saying things like "looks like you got yourself a sleepwalker"
So you weren't purposefully trying to leave him?
He cries tears of joy and spends the next couple of days pampering you and giving you just about everything you want
He does his best to show you that he's sorry
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Brahms Heelshire
It's quite literally known that Brahms has abandonment issues at this point
So when he catches you climbing up onto the window sill
He loses it
Will grab you and roughly pull you off, your body falling to the ground
This immediately wakes you up, your eyes searching around frantically
When you see Brahms standing above you, you try to reach for him, but he only shoves you away
You look so sad and confused at this, but Brahms is too stubborn to give in
He starts tying you up again each night, still very hurt that you would try to leave like that
It takes weeks for you to gain his trust again
And the one night he lets you sleep freely, he catches you by the window again
But instead of grabbing you immediately, he decides to just watch
He wants to see how far you'll go so he knows just how severe your punishment will need to be
But instead, you just give up on unlocking the window (it was jammed), and you just turn around and walk straight back to bed, not even registering Brahms being right there
This is odd
You need to explain the concept of sleepwalking to him the next day
He still remains skeptical for a while, but he'll come around
You just need to be extra attentive for a while...
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Norman Bates
Norman already knows a lot about sleepwalking
(It's what he thought was going on for a while when he couldn't remember large chunks of time throughout the week)
When he finds you opening a window in the middle of the night, he bolts at you, ready to lock you back up in one of the motel rooms again
However, when you don't respond or reveal any emotion on your face, he immediately knows what's going on
He's surprised
He didn't know you'd be a sleepwalker
He decides to just lead you back to bed, knowing that waking you isn't the best idea
Sits you down the next morning and talks with you about it
When you seem very apologetic, he uses it to his advantage
Has you cuddle up with him even more than normal and stay by his side at all hours of the day
He still gives you some freedom
But he's always watching
He does take some precautions and ties your wrist up in the middle of the night
He has to, for your safety of course
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Billy Loomis
To be honest, you don't make it very far
Billy has an iron grip on you at all times, and he's a light sleeper
The moment you get up, he's awake, observing you carefully
Sometimes you have to pee in the middle of the night, but he still makes sure you aren't lying to him
His ability to trust is practically in the ground
The moment you turn the wrong way, he's up and chasing after you
Were you that dumb? You knew he watched you every time you got up from bed
He grabs your wrist quickly and points a knife at your throat as a threat
He can't bring himself to actually hurt you though, not that you knew that
Or did you?
Because you just stand there not even moving away from the blade
Billy becomes very confused
He takes his hand and begins to wake it in front of your face, looking for some sort of reaction
You don't give him one
Are you still... asleep?
He shakes you a bit until you finally look at him, confusion written all over your face
You're a sleepwalker, aren't you?
He just rolls his eyes annoyed and drags you back to bed, not explaining anything
Just another thing he needs to look out for now
You sometimes wake up to bruises on your hips and waist from how hard Billy holds you in the night, but he's just trying to protect you, right?
He doesn't mean to hurt you, he just refuses to lose another person in his life
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Stu Macher
Stu literally sleeps on you, so it's nearly impossible for you to leave the bed most nights
But if you somehow wiggle your way out, you wouldn't make it outside the house
The windows have been nailed so that they only open a small amount
When he finds you the next morning, curled up under a partially opened window, he just smiles
Call it naive, but he just assumes you were getting too warm in the bed
When you wake up in a confused state however, he becomes concerned
What do you mean you don't remember opening that window?
He honestly just becomes more worried that there's something wrong with your memory rather than you trying to leave him
He'll likely talk to Billy about it
He just hears laughter from the other end of the phone
"Sounds like they sleep walk," he'd say
Stu does a bunch of research on it later
He doesn't really mind though
All of the unsafe objects are already hidden away, and every possible exit is locked down
You aren't going anywhere
If anything, he finds it fun to wake up some mornings and look around for you
It's like a game, and Stu loves games
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