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#this 14 year old can fit so much trauma
deadly-halowos · 1 month
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writing out my understanding of the batfam ages because i’m bored
i’m basing literally all of this starting around their ages based on tim because that’s literally the only ones i know for sure and it’s easier this way
when tim is first introduced, he’s 13 (for some reason i always think he’s 12 but no, he’s 13) we know that tim was at the circus when dicks parents died when dick was 8. tim was stated to be 3 at the time of the flying graysons death) (i’m aware that in one comic it claims that he was like 7 but that makes literally no fucking sense so i’m ignoring it)
this means that when tim is 3, dick is 8, making dick 5 years older than tim making, meaning that when tim becomes robin dick is 18….which doesn’t really make sense. so let’s loop back to this later.
jason dies when hes 15, around 6 months later, tim introduces himself and has his first technical debut as robin at 13, making their age difference around 2 years. tim is born in july, and jason is born in august, it’s safe to say that their age gap is 2 years and a few months. jason is introduced at age 12 right after dick leaves/gets fired as robin at around age 18/19, making him around 6 years older than jason.
so at this point we have
tim-13 (stated age at first introduction.)
jason- 15/16 (depending on when he dies)
dick- 21/22 (relative to jason, not tim)
back to tim being at the circus at the night of the flying graysons death, if tim is 3, then with dicks age relative to jason, dick would have had to been around 12 at the age of their death, NOT the 8 that was previously stated. this would make dick and tim’s age gap around 9 years. personally, while this messes up the ages stated in the canon i’m referring to, this is probably the best age that i can come up with and still have tim be at the circus and be around toddler age (old enough to remember what happened because of the trauma of it)
bruce is stated to be somewhere between 12-15 years older than dick, meaning that he’s somewhere between 21-24 years older than tim. this means he was around 24-27 when he fosters dick. (personally i meld this to whatever fits what im trying to talk about)
cassandra is assumed to be jason’s age, so we’ll call her also 2 years and some months/3 years older than tim.
when damian is introduced at 9/10 and at the time tim is 16 making their age difference 6-7 years. this is constantly changing due to dcs lack of letting tim age but still aging damian up (damian is 14 right now and as far as i know tim is still 17.)
unfortunately i don’t know very much about duke (which is an absolute tragedy that i will be remedying asap) but im pretty sure he’s 4 years older than damian, making him 2-3 years younger than tim.
alfred is ageless and i don’t care what you say dc, that man is alive.
so for my age differences relative to tim in what im gathering as my current canon (very very loose) we have:
alfred: ageless. (probably around early-mid 70s?)
bruce: 38-42
dick: 26
cass: 19/20
jason: 19/20
tim: 17
duke: 14/15
damian: 10/11
that’s all we have for bruce’s canonically adopted/fostered children (THAT I KNOW OF PLEASE DONT KILL ME)
a couple others that i didn’t include but know, stephanie is a year older than tim, making her 18 to tim’s 17, and like wise, babs is a year older than dick, making her 27 to dicks 26.
i think my math maths but please let me know if it doesn’t, i did it in my head and have not slept.
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laurasauras · 8 months
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rose lalonde. that's it, that's the question.
isn't it just! god i love rose.
it's that she's one of those girls who pretends she has it all together, who thinks she's worth more because she is witty and can come up with brilliant burns exactly on cue, but she's also the girl who pretended her cat could talk to her and who would pretend to have a magnetic W as a mustache and is 13 and was probably making potions in the mud with a stick last week.
she's as cool and calm as a forest pond, and you know there are depths there but you assume those depths are things like "can commune with gods (really)" and "maybe she's telling the truth when she says she's read proust". and then you're 14 and so is she and you're finding out that the depths are "she learned how to cope with being bored and isolated and doomed from a mother she maybe shouldn't have forgiven".
and oh, i have all the pity in the world for momlonde. how awful to be put on this planet to raise a child who will end the world before creating a new one? how could you make friends under those circumstances, knowing they would all die because of what the universe has planned for your little girl? how could you sleep at night knowing that at the very least she'll be traumatised, but it's much more likely that she'll just be dead.
but rose didn't know any of that.
rose just knew that her mother wasn't around, not even to make sure she had the capacity to feed herself, let alone making sure that she was.
she knew that if she screamed that she wanted to kill herself or jammed needles in a (dead) powerpoint, her mother wouldn't talk to her, but she might be given a pony or something.
she knew that the only time her mother was around was when she was drunk, and when she was drunk she would be able to tell rose that she loved her and that she was perfect, and maybe she was merry or maybe she was crying but whatever it was, it was fucking hard to trust. because being sober next to a drunk person's sincerity is unbearable. you know that if they weren't drunk they wouldn't be crying or saying all of that, so it doesn't fucking count. and if you were so perfect and loved, then why would she even need to drink. you're 10 years old and you're supposed to be the centre of your mother's whole life, but you're not and you never have been. you're just the inconvenient kid she remembers when her breath stinks and she can't pronounce your name anymore.
and when you're 14 and she's dead and you're staring at the code you found while trying to make apple juice for someone who is your family (but you can't express your love for him), you remember being 4 and standing in her high heels, your ankles barely poking out of the toe of the shoe. and now they fit pretty damn well.
you're on a journey you can't speed up, knowing that at the end of all this bullshit that doesn't matter the people closest to you might be hurt, might be dead, and the air smells just a little bit doomed ... and in that golden window after two drinks but before five, your mom was charming and funny and beautiful, and she could actually say what she felt. if you're going on your first date with a woman who might make the meaningless tedium worth it, maybe you could use a little of that.
BUT ROSE ISN'T JUST HER TRAUMA!
Rose Is The Flame I Am Drawn To. She Makes Me Feel More Alive Just By Glancing At Me. I Am Bewitched By Her Intelligence And Electrified By Her Humour And Devoted To Her, Just Her, Everything That She Is
rose acts like shes a princess and like the rest of us should feel grateful that she even notices we exist but when you get down to it no one carries a bit like her. she matches me every goddamn step no matter what and she gets what its like to care without making some kind of deal about it
rose is just kind of a dork. it's funny how everyone thinks she's scary. okay, so in a battle between chuck norris and rose lalonde, chuck is going home crying about his kicked nuts and his mommy issues, but just because rose is badass doesn't mean she isn't also the kind of girl who snorts milk through her nose laughing at me pretending to be a walrus with breadsticks. last week. we are 40.
(dear god i'm sorry about the inaccuracy of those text colours, it hurts me too)
so yeah. rose lalonde. that's it, that's the answer.
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darthpastry · 2 months
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*Slaps Michael on the head* This strange creature can fit so much trauma.
It's time for a character analysis of one of the protagonists of all time! Because what do I do if not overanalyze things and characters we only have crumbs of?
So, childhood. We have pretty few things confirmed about his childhood.
Both he and Evan were tormented with the fear gas from who knows how young.
He bullied Evan.
He killed Evan.
Foxy was his chosen animatronic.
Yep, that's all we have to work with. But that's more than enough!
First of all, shout out to Evan for dealing with the most bullshit and never doing anything wrong in his life (next game comes out and reveals that if he lived, he would've been worse than William or smth and this whole post ages like milk) or afterlife unless you count the Golden Freddy jumpscares, but those feel justified, and this post isn't about him.
Back to Michael. Since all three Afton children were abused, it does make sense why Michael would act out the way he does towards Evan. Heavy emphasis on the fact that reasons are not excuses and that just because reasons behind his actions can be found does not mean it wasn't any less horrible.
Besides that, I don't really have much to say about the bite of 83, it's already gotten a ton attention, so I don't feel the need to analyze it either. It's interesting that we don't what the dynamic between Elizabeth and Michael was, I do like the theory that Elizabeth wasn't around until after the bite, but that's an entirely separate post.
Yeah... that's about all I have to say about his childhood. So, let's just skip ahead for years to FNaF 2's events!
I'm going to be honest and say it's unlikely Jeremy and Michael met during this right off the bat. Sorry, but with how much Mike is treated as a punching bag in canon, it's unlikely he had any friends at this point. The bully gang probably just drifted apart without any hard feelings against each other.
I'm curious about what exactly Michael's age would be at this point, minimum working age is the same, at 14 and considering the workers are paid exactly the minimum wage at the time ($3.35 an hour), I don't doubt William would put Michael to work as soon as possible, and at ten years old the bully group probably would've been able to lift Evan to shove him in Fredbear's mouth, I would say between Michael was probably 14 and at oldest 18, just because due to the sprite design of the bullies and he appears in earlies 20s in SL, which I'm placing 1993, but I'll save that for later.
Sheesh. First time really thinking William just plopping 14-year-olds in that situation for minimum wage. Nothing in comparison to being a serial killer of children, but, still, yikes.
Why was he there? I don't know, actually. I do think he's Fritz Smith, but why he would need a pseudonym or want to work there I haven't a clue. Unless he ran/moved in with Henry (doubt) and was trying spare cash and maybe track down William after hearing about how his sister died and it was six years before he actually caught up to William and that was because William had figured the only way to get Michael off his back was to get rid of him.
And this is already a horribly long post, so if I expound upon this anymore it'll definitely be a part two talking about SL, Springtrap, and the thirty-year time gap. FNaF 3, Pizzeria Sim, and theories about how he could still be around and what he'd be doing in modern FNaF would probably have to be a part three, knowing me.
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max1461 · 7 months
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[Decided to make this its own post instead of, uh, kind of literally trauma-dumping in somebody's notes. In response to this post.]
I don't disagree with this. My parents wanted me to take piano lessons as a kid, and I didn't want to, and eventually they relented. When I got to be an adult, I found myself really wishing I'd continued with those piano lessons. Ultimately I do think the were right to err on the side of non-coercion here, since I think the potential costs of forcing your kids to do stuff can be pretty high, but I don't resent at all the fact that they put me in piano lessons to begin with and strongly encouraged me to stay. I think that was the right move!
On the other hand my parents pressured me enormously around reproductive stuff, pressured me constantly to "make them a bunch of grandkids", and where generally unsupportive of my desire for gender non-conformity as a teenager (such that I didn't end up feeling comfortable expressing it, and was much less happy as a result). They also basically kept me locked up in the house, with the exception of school, until I left for college. The first time I was ever in a public place without their supervision I was 19 years old. I wasn't allowed to go out on my own, wasn't allowed to go to friends' houses (at least as a kid; by my mid-teens the issue was moot because my only friend had moved away, and I'm sure they would tell me that at that point I totally was allowed to go to friends' houses...), was strongly discouraged from expressing myself in the ways that I wanted to... and the upshot is that I felt lonely and miserable as a teenager.
When I went to college I got a little more freedom, though they still found ways to prevent me and my sister from doing stuff they didn't approve of. In retrospect this is the period in which they pulled their least-forgivable stunts, I assume because they felt their control was the most threatened.
They have recognized the wrongness of most of this now, or at least most of the worst of it, but... well, that doesn't really help me with the shit that's lastingly fucked up as a result.
Anyway I guess my point is that "I wish I'd dyed my hair at 14" is almost verbatim a though I have had, but I'm coming at it from the opposite direction—my parents pressured me not to do stuff like that, to fit their restrictive mold, and I'm definitely worse off for it. Which is not to invalidate OP's experience here at all, like... feelings of missed experiences in youth are something I can relate to very deeply, and I don't imagine I would feel any better about it if the etiology had been different. Which I guess is my point, in general agreement with triv: parenting is really hard, children are a hard ethical problem, and while I think my parents did a lot of things wrong, I can easily imagine a all kinds of other approaches being equally wrong.
And like, my parents did a lot of things right! They never hit me, they always strongly encouraged me to question authority (they never quite understood themselves as an authority), and there were forms of respect that they extended to me as a young kid that I think are almost never extended to young kids (even by liberal/anti-authoritarian parents), and for that I am enormously thankful.
I can remember being a kid, and having them tell me about how their parents never supported them, and how they would support me in anything I wanted to do and no matter who I was. And I think when they said that, they really believed it. They didn't realize those other parents pressured their kids into some particular lifestyle not out of mustache-twirling evil, but out of a real genuinely desire to "protect" their kids or see them succeed in certain ways. And when my parents felt those things themselves, they thought they were different. They didn't realize they were doing the same thing all those other parents had done, that they could so easily see to be harmful from the outside.
I think the way I was parented is kind of a story of... how easy it is to lose sight of what you care about, or claim to care about, when it's not in your interests. My parents said all the right things! And to their credit, they did a lot of the right things. But they also failed to live up to their values a lot. In big, glaring ways that I still don't really understand how they missed.
Wonder if that's why I don't put so much stock in what people claim to believe half the time.
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ay-chuu · 1 year
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Precious hat boi+6 please? ♥️ it can be like Chuuya started to become so clumsy around y/n since the day he realized that he likes y/n
Thanks a lot for accepting my request, if you don't it's still fine. Have a nice day
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Prompt 6: "how you survived this long by yourself"
A/N: I dont know why but, from the day i sent you a message, i always felt so sincere to you just by heart <3 So i really thought about your request a lot. Hope you'll like it love!
Warnings!: Storm Bringer spoi's! Reader is Chuuya's friend from 14 years old! Kinda bound by traumas-
Pairing: Chuuya x gn!reader
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Souls are sometimes involuntarily attracted to each other.
The first time you met Chuuya, you saw him in the backyard of your school feeding a dog with his own lunch.
You were surprised. Because Chuuya was known as one of the punks of the school, -especially with the "Sheep" connection- so you watched him with a few seconds of shock.
When Chuuya noticed your gaze and turned his head quickly, the gentle expressions on his face quickly turned into aggressive and cold expression. You were so afraid of his facial expressions that you officially explained yourself like a reflex.
"S-sorry! I must have been blindsided in an instant!"
"Yes, I've noticed that too, you fool." and strangely enough, since he realized your innocence, he just stayed there, putting his hand in his pocket. As he stared at you with a cold gaze, you felt a cold sweat pouring out.
"You … You're Chuuya, right? Chuuya Nakahara."
“Yes. Who are you?"
And when you introduced yourself, you inwardly cursed your curiosity because you didn't really want him to recognize you. But well, the questions are mutual. Unless you're an information thief or something. And, oh, by the way, your ridiculous curiosity combined with your decency, you couldn't keep your mouth shut.
"The food you gave the dog, wasn't it your lunch? You're not hungry?"
As he said, "I don't care-" You both heard his stomach rumbling. And at that moment, maybe out of compassion, maybe because you wanted to get to know Chuuya, you said the only sentence that came to your mind.
"Would you like to share my lunch? I did a little too much bento today…" "Tch- as I was saying. I'm not hungry-"
"Please?" And with those sweet puppy eyes of yours, Chuuya only shrugged, cursing inwardly.
Well, the more you talked to him, the more you found out that he's not such a bad guy. He's a bit strange. Someone who likes to kick bad people's ass. -So at least that's how you interpreted it in your sentences.- He likes dogs. An idiot who choked because he talked while eating. And oh, finally, he's the leader of Sheep.
I mean, your future leader.
Love connects two souls that are attracted to each other. But it doesn't show that it's the feeling that does it.
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Two souls who love each other want to take on the pain of the soul they love.
Dazai was watching from the sidelines, the "quiet" sparring of the Sheep leader and the vice leader. Oh man, it was ironic that you two didn't know about the betrayal that will soon happen.
"What do you mean, 'I'm working temporarily for Port Mafia' !?"
"I SWEAR IT WAS BECAUSE OF THAT BASTARD WITH THE BANDAGES-"
And… after about 30 minutes of discussion, Chuuya finally said that he wanted to go to Dazai and get out of this as soon as possible, AND NO, HE DEFINITELY WASN'T DOING THIS BECAUSE HIS BEST FRIEND WAS MADLY ANGRY AT HIM. HE'S THE LEADER OF THE GROUP, OKAY?!
So, yes. That's why he kept your work as short as possible even tough he rejects because Chuuya didn't want you to be offended by him. Because he was very attached to you.
So much so that he was willing to correct any trauma you had and add it to his own life. He would want you to get rid of a disgusting man like your father and not miss a sweet mother…
To be honest, until you two became close, he never understood that you had a shitty childhood until you told each other about your traumas. But then he realized that the puzzle pieces fit together. You were a quiet person. You loved cats. You hated fights(unlike him, anyways-)and you always tried to be as compliant as possible. And finally, you were a very good person. Reliable, loyal and kind… And he knows that this world is hell for good people. While your friendship was developing, you trusted a guy like him, even going so far as to join his gang. He couldn't break your trust or even worry you. Because he knew it would be a betrayal, and he wouldn't do it if he died to someone like you who would never betray him.
Oh, he wished you weren't the only one who wouldn't betray him…
Even if they are experiencing the greatest pain in this world.
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Sometimes love blinds two souls.
Chuuya had always wondered how time was able to give pains that went in the slowest way, in how fast a process.
Because the pain of betrayal was still like yesterday, and a whole year had passed since then. At least, he thought. God had taken pity on him and enabled him to overcome the pain of Sheep, whom he trusted so much, with the same confrontations as his closest friend. In other words, he wasn't alone. And Chuuya knew that's how you felt, too.
Maybe that's why you didn't mind him joining the Port Mafia. Because he's been getting over his pain since he joined, and look on the bright side! He had new friends!
And that's probably why, again, you didn't want to think about him being alone while you two were investigating his past.
But there were so many things you didn't know.
God always raises a dilemma in something. Because, sometimes that's how you learn about the good side of human feelings, but damn it, did he have to fall in love with you? And also, damn it again, why is it that since you realized this situation, he has become even more stupid, clumsy and made him look at you like crazy?
And the worst of it is, again, damn it, he would rather die than open up to you because he was madly afraid of losing you.
Nevertheless, he knew deep down that sooner or later youwould notice this, because he had been looking at you like he was going to eat you or somethning. I mean, it's not his fault, okay! You're so charming, you're good, and my god, you're loyal to him.Its your fault! He had to be a person without a brain or something to not fall in love with you. Of course, if he is a human…
Still, Chuuya was an idiot. Because if he could understand that you have so many feelings for him too, he wouldn't have to contract so much.
Although the love connection of two souls is visible to everyone.
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Souls are what makes a person human.
Romantic or not, love is the strongest feeling that gives the soul the property of reason.
In the people you love, pain is pervasive. Because seeing a single tear of that person could have made you want to burn the world down. That's how valuable Chuuya was to you. You thought if only you could take some of his pain away from him and put it on yourself…
On your shoulder, with his head shaking slowly and trying to cry with silence, you were sure that you had to talk to him, but you didn't know where to start. Maybe you should have started by saying that it wasn't his fault that his friends died, and that they all died very happily from their bond to him? Or should you have told him that you were madly in love with her, that you would stay by his side for as long as you lived, and that when you were with his, you understood humanity more than anything else? Maybe you should have told me that those asshole scientists can't understand any emotion shit?
No. Surely the first things you should have said shouldn't have been the thorns that the root problem raised. You should have told him that there are more human than some scientist shit. Because the body born of the codes it was formed from was more alive than the body of most people in this world, according to you.
After all, only God gives the soul. It's not fucking science codes.
"…Chuuya?"
"…"
"How you survived this long by yourself?"
And fuck. Seriously, you caught him with that question. Looking at you with a puzzled and questioning face, he only said, "What?".
"I said, where do you get the motivation to live?"
"Does the answer to this question really matter? Because after the information just given, I think my answer is the most unnecessary."
"If you answer the question, you will understand that in fact it is the most valuable for you."
But he did not understand. What difference does it make to someone who was not born a human being for the purpose of living? Maybe even the pain he was feeling right now was coded… But.. Oh... when he thought about it, he thought that this is impossible, because he realized that he felt the same feelings as that bandaged bastard. And when he understood what you said, he pinched your hand to answer the question. He got nervous when he realized that you were holding hands at that moment.
"My feelings… I live for my feelings and the goals of my feelings." he was able to say while slowly blushing and swallowing. You just smiled at his reaction and smoothing his hair with your other hand. "Exactly, your body could be a clone. But your soul, feelings and thoughts are never encodings taken from your clone. DNA puts feelings in the body, but it is the soul that controls them. The soul makes a person human." You put your hand gently on his cheek. "What I'm saying to you is that if there is a being here who can be described as human, it's you and me. Because neither those asshole scientists have a soul as great as yours, nor those who contribute to it, do you understand?"
And he understood.He began to tremble with the relief that came to his body with understanding the only thing he needed to understand at that moment. He was a human. He felt, he understood, and he was suffering. He loved you. He was definitely a human being…
"I…"
"I'm in love with you, Chuuya."
With your confession, he looked at you in shock as his pupils shrank.
"I'm too much in love with you… I wish i could erase everything that has been done to you, I wish i could take your pain away from you. But the only thing I can do for you is to be able to have feelings for you while staying with you until the end of my time. I'm sorry… I never saw my father as a family, and since my mother died, you are the only thing that can be called my family. So please, stop feeling sorry for things that happened in the past. Pity the heart of someone like you." towards the very last parts, you finished your speech, feeling that your voice was trembling.
As Chuuya grasped your words, he felt like the stupidest person in the world. Because the way he treated you, you treated him the same way. In other words, as much as he was in love with you, you were just as much in love with him. You were right. His suffering would never go away, it would not diminish even if shared, and he would not be able to change his past. But... just as he could face every pain, he had to learn to erase it. Because that's how humans learned about life. Live, comprehend, learn and erase the pain. And he was a human.
He promised himself at that moment, that from now on he would not have a single thing to hide from you, that is, from his true family and love. He would protect you until the end of your time, and he would always take care of you, just like you did him. At that moment, he thought a lot about whether you are human or not. He thinks you are an angel. Just an angel specially given to him, and he wanted to be angry with himself for not realizing it wisely before.
"You're right, I can never reduce my pain, but i can erase it after I've lived through as much as I need to live from it. Because a human learns with pain."
He took both of your hands and as he slowly leaned forward and kissed your lips, he was glad that the first kiss happened at such a beautiful moment.
"I don't know what will happen in the future. But with you by my side, i don't feel scared anymore, because when i'm with you, i can overcome everything. The only thing i'm afraid of is losing you… I don't know how to express my love for you. I love you. I hope that my fear is unnecessary, because you are always so strong, my love." And as he hugged you tight, you noticed that you were both crying.
Souls mature with feelings. And as the souls mature, the being called "human" reflects its own definition more and more every day.
Souls overcome what they cannot overcome, by connecting with each other. Because romantic or not, love is strong enough to overcome human greatest pain.
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bbygirl-aemond · 11 months
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daemon - caraxes: how old daemon was when he claimed red noodle in stormbreak? before baelon died, right, so 14 or younger?
i just remembered this lmao my bad!! okay so i have two ideas for stormbreak daemon claiming caraxes. i haven't decided which one i want to choose yet; it won't be brought up until much later in stormbreak OR in one of the sequels so i got some time to decide haha. but here they are:
1. daemon claimed caraxes immediately after aemon's death.
in stormbreak, daemon is aged down, so he'd only have been about 5-6 years old here. but as we know, people can claim dragons pretty young (daeron, rhaenyra, etc.) and ride them later once they've grown. so it's very much possible!
he claimed caraxes because he'd likely be pretty neglected at that precise moment because of baelon's grief with both aemon and alyssa dead. remember, in canon baelon kind of went all "mad king" and just razed everything to the ground when aemon died, so he wasn't exactly stable. caraxes is a source of connection and comfort for daemon- kind of like aemond with vhagar. they're both outcasts and they find comfort in one another. it makes sense that he'd claim caraxes at a time he felt neglected.
...but if this happened, boy oh boy baelon would not take it well. see the above statement about his emotional instability and in particular his volatility during this time period. i don't think baelon was the type to physically abuse his children, but in this specific instance i could def see him lashing out a little. poor baby daemon.
this would allow for great daemon-aemond parallels in terms of being accused of disrespecting the previous rider's memory and having a celebratory moment overtaken by someone else's grief-turned-anger. it would also explain daemon's conspicuous lack of anger at aemond claiming vhagar compared to his two daughters in the show.
and then we have...
2. daemon claimed caraxes immediately after baelon's death, not aemon's. he would have been grieving and furious, similar to viserys's death in the show- because baelon's death would have prevented the closure that daemon desired within their relationship. he'd feel that there was so much unsaid, so much love and approval that he'd hoped to gain from baelon that he'd now never get.
he'd bond with caraxes during this moment of incredible trauma and vulnerability, mingled sorrow and anger. daemon's first flight on caraxes would involve a lot of angry screaming and a lot of things getting wrecked or burned. and then, once they were in the air and away from prying eyes, it would involve a lot of angry crying.
both options are angsty in different ways! and both involve a lot of trauma/grief right around when daemon and caraxes would have bonded. this would fit in with stormbreak's lore that trauma strengthens dragon-rider bond formations + the canon fact that daemon and caraxes have an unusually strong bond. it also just feels poetic and in-character to me that baby daemon would respond to the death of a loved one by seeking comfort and connection in a dragon. so much of his character is defined by his family; it makes sense for his dragon to be as well.
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abarbaricyalp · 23 days
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SPOILERS (and reactions) FOR 142
1) I'm glad to see the alliterative naming convention for episodes seems to still be going strong. That out of the way:
AHHHHHHH NIK WHAT IS HAPPENING???
(Well now we know why there aren't as many asides 😬)
Russell!!!! The new grounds keeper 🥹🥹🥹🥹 (assumedly because Walt saved him once and he can save others too? I will explode)
Venus!!!!! (The audio processing disorder stays winning. One more way Venus and Venom are the same to me. I gotta go put on subtitles)
RIOT WAS DEAD AND GONE?!?!?!
(I know this could be assumptions on Valerie's part etc etc but those words!!!! Noooooo)
THE OLD SCOUT POST???????
14 years! An answer now! (Did I say 10-15 years or what)
That is so long!!! I have so many theories (I'm still sitting chiefly among Proximity To The Heart Time Distortion but now I'm worried)
Not-daughter?!?! After all of the angst from season 3???? You reject her now?
It's so wild that Valerie is incapable of doing the painful parts of parenthood. When Clem was fawning and new, she was Val's favorite and Riot was the trouble maker she couldn't connect with. Now that Riot is not actually around and Clem has her own personality and traumas, Val is pushing her away/ not fighting to stay connected.
Ahhh not a known character. Abraham Walker. (We haven't met them yet right?)
Buck would've cracked this before lunch?? !!!!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹 I'm so proud
And he's gone but not dead 🤞🤞🤞 I wonder why he left though
Does the concept of copy cat killers not exist in the future? I know it CAN be a ghost/ revenant/ other Black Rain magic but it doesn't HAVE TO BE.
Arnold 😬😬😬😬 buddy I'm so sorry. 14 years?!?! But he seems so much more confident and grown now!
Now why is it so painful to imagine Scout Post badges being removed (by someone else, not just to reuse the jacket)
BIG MIKEY!!!!
Rebirth: was the heart not just a heart? It was an egg of sorts too? A cocoon?
Someone with access to the bonus stories, tell me if the story structure is different too. The titles all being "File # Name" make me think it's definitely related to whoever is holding Nik. They're watching Scout City/ the characters as well.
Marlomar has always kind of irritated me but I'm especially suspicious now. Why does it sound like he's blaming Nik for something?
Also very interested to see how the end pieces with Marlomar fit in with the beginning pieces where Nik is clearly being held/ hunted. Are the Marlomar pieces from the s3 narrative? Is Nik's consciousness being teased with? I'm still saying, this 14 year gap is too long for Nik to react to Marlomar from the end of s3.
Crack theory for the season: the froglins are copy catting the Instrumentalist to take control of the Hallowoods
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pansy-picnics · 7 months
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"Lance is dumb!" NO YOU dON'T UNDERSTAND!!! He's very smart!!! He just likes to be a silly little guy! He grew up on the streets, how could he be dumb? He's the father figure ever, and he's smart emotionally about 90% of the time so that lets him make better decisions when everyone else is panicking HE'S JUST A SILLY LITTLE GUY
HES LITERALLY JUST A SILLY LITTLE GUY. HES A SILLY LITTLE GUY WITH GENUINE FLAWS AND STRUGGLES AND HE HAS SO MUCH TRAUMA THAT THE SHOW NEVER EVEN TOUCHED ON. TO ME.
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this is how i feel every time i think about lance except the show has literally been over for like 3 years and i’m just gaslighting myself into thinking it happened. i need more lance centric art and fics or i am literally going to kill myself /JOKE
no bc i think so much about how eugene went back to using his real name and lance didn’t? and like i guess it CAN be assumed that he just doesn’t like his birth name which i mean. that tracks arnwaldo is a pretty silly name. but personally with how much more emotionally mature he is i’ve always imagined he at least had SOME sort of childhood before he was orphaned, unlike eugene and hugo, and like if that were the case i think he’s the kind of person who would still hold some sentimental value to that name bc of it!!!
and that makes me feel like lance honestly also has some deep rooted identity issues but he doesn’t handle it in the same way the others do. he’s always the kind of person to put others before himself and so something as small as his own name or identity doesn’t really matter much to him!! especially with how much he’s had to change himself to survive, he kind of sees himself in a state that’s beyond repair. like he’s so far distanced from the person he once was that he probably wouldn’t even recognize his true self anyways so why should he bother to search for it!! eugene was able to find a bit more comfort in returning to his roots. lance doesn’t feel the same.
i think overall lance sees himself as a completely separate individual from the person he once was. it wouldn’t feel right to use his real name even if he wanted to. arnwaldo schnitz is like an old friend to him. it’s someone he left behind a long time ago. lance hasn’t truly come to accept that, even if he feels like he’s changed, even if he feels his real name doesn’t truly fit him anymore, even if he feels disconnected from the child he once was, he’s still the same person.
i think him and varian could have a really good conversation about this particularly….mostly bc in my head varian has completely separated his 14 year old self from his current self. and he holds a lot of resentment towards that child he once was. meeting the rest of team radical helped him understand himself, and by extension, them, in a lot of ways- but that bitterness for himself in particular still hasn’t really gone away.
lance obviously wouldn’t want to confide in varian at all, mostly because like everyone else lance still hasn’t fully accepted that varian is growing up, and he doesn’t want to put any of his own burdens on him- but i think the older varian gets, and the more lance truly realizes he’s matured, the more they’d be able to connect over their similar experiences. even if lance is still obviously older and wiser than him and has more advice, varian is still able to get lance in a way eugene and rapunzel can’t and they both find a lot of comfort in that shared understanding of each other. both of them just….need to accept their inner child and give em a hug telepathically. ykwim
lance and cass also understand each other on a deep psychological level but thats another story for another time
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starlightshore · 7 months
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explain Danny phantom to someone who’s never seen it before?
uhhhhh so i can only talk about it as the most insane kinda fandom person because
i was obsessed with this show when it first aired when I was 8 years old. it was my first fandom. i read fanfic for it before i even knew what fanfic was. its HEAVILY tied to my nostalgia and I've been engaging with the fandom on/off for literally 19 years. at this point DP is in my DNA.
while it's not my main hyperfixation (thats undertale) its the one tag i visit regularly and the one fandom I'll jump to every few months and binge fics for. i don't even read UT fics anymore but the DP fandom is always doing something. its very active!
under the cut I talk about my thoughts on the show, the fandom and explain the premise. It's a wild ride.
TLDR; i have a lot of THOUGHTS on this show and i do not actually recommend it. MAYBE if you're curious explore the fandom and some fics but be careful about it, it's a bit gratuitous with its angst.
If you want a basic premise: local 14 year old accidentally lets loose hell but also has become part ghost. This kid can fit SO much trauma in him.
first off: I fucking love Danny Phantom.
And I'm going to spend the next two segments complaining about it. Feel free to skip if you're already aware of this /or don't wanna linger on it.
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Second off: This show fucking sucks*
* Ok fine yes sometimes it can be good, but it will always have an asterisk next to it.
it has NOT aged well. it was created by an asshole who's got a long shitlist of things he's done and still does that's all terrible. i am not one to hate someone publicly unless its for something like this. Feel free to google what Bitch Fartman has done if you're curious but I'll warn you: he is a horrible person and he disgusts me. I only acknowlege him when its to mention how awful he is and how I do not want to support him.
This is not like with FNAF where supporting that franchise supports Scott. Danny Phantom first aired 19 years ago. The show was written, directed, and sure as hell animated by a team of professionals. It is not his sole creation. Studio Animation is not the sole work of an individual. I respect (most) animators and the hard work they've done and do. IIRC Shitfartman doesn't even have the rights to the IP anymore. I assume he gets residuals though. That said the only canonical piece of media we've gotten is a graphic novel that was released last month. Up until then, supporting DP was just not literally a thing you could do!
Its not just the creator who sucks. There's a lot of BS in the show too.
the show is very early 2000s (and even then thats no excuse) and it has a bingo card worth of shit in it. racism, bigotry, ableism! you name it. I do not condone and i do NOT recommend this show because of this! its horrible with what they did with this show and its shocking it was acceptable enough to put on TV. you literally can't do shit like that anymore.
I'm not going to go list every detail of every horrible, fucked up thing the show has done. The list is too long and I haven't watched the actual show in a few years now. by god, I know there is a list out there though.
Anyway outside of my obligatory "fuck this show actually" rant aside
i do love this show because it DOES have a lot of good and cool stuff outside that. but also. its so much wasted potential.
the core premise is:
Hey what if a pair of paranormal obsessed mad scientist parents punched a hole into the after life hell dimension- and what if their son was basically spiderman-ed about it?
youtube
And here's the core part of the premise: Danny only keeps his identity a secret to the humans. Ghosts learn like, pretty much straight away that he's a Halfa (half human, half ghost). He's if spiderman's worst fear wasn't the villains but if like. Aunt May was going to rip him apart.
Oh yeah that's. a thing. Danny's parents literally want to rip his ghost identity apart from, and I quote, "molecule to molecule."
For a an comedy-action show its WEIRDLY morbid and dark at times but then has the tonal whiplash to make you question what the fuck did they just do. How'd they do that and then not care they just wrote that in. Seriously. It'll just lore drop or hint to dark things and then brush it aside because it's main focus is comedy.
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Anyway back to explaing what the show even is about. the show likes to say Danny got his DNA merged with ectoplasm but that's stupid af i'd rather say he died but only stayed half dead. He can transform between the two states: living and dead. But he's not just two halves that make a whole -the two sides blend together. He can use his ghost powers as a human -and early on he couldn't control them so he'd just. go intangible or invisible at the worst moments.
The show just. jumps right in. You don't get to see the accident outside the intro (at least until season 2 when they retcon some stuff) you just have it thrown into your lap. He has powers now. He sucks at it. Deal with it.
I think it's important to acknowledge that this show was written before Netflix did streaming. Before Plot heavy cartoons were a thing. (Not to say they didn't have reoccuring plot, it justw asn't the same thing as it is now.) You had to write the show with the limits of:
Comedy being a major focus
You have to write it with the expectation that anyone could jump in and (reasonably) understand most things going on. While there's some continuity and plot progression, the status quo is god.
because streaming wasn't a thing yet, you could only watch the show by jumping into whatever the fuck episode was playing. I doubt it played in order all the time. You just couldn't make a cartoon that had weeks upon weeks of plot developments and expect people to keep up.
The show is, in fact, meant for kids. While it does dive into some darker stuff (being ya know, a ghost show) its still going to be overly silly.
So while YEAH i'll complain about the very very shitty things the show did but I can't soley blame Fuckhateshitman for all of it. It's the restrictions it was made under + likely a lot more circumstances I don't understand. I am a hobbiest animator. I have no real world experience in the animation industry. I can critique the final product but I can never understand what shaped the cartoon. If shitheadmcgee wasn't involved and the studio gave the show more room + had you know, more POC and women on team + animation (even for kids) was respected more then who KNOWS what the show could of been! But like. its a 2000s show. It is what it is. I think the show has its good and bad and i'll harp a lot on the bad rn because I think its important to acknowledge especially to new people, but I do want to frame it by saying it really is the product of its time.
I want it to be better and I hope if it gets rebooted its better. We expect a lot more from cartoons now then we did then. (I know this was a long tangent + kinda over simplifying things but whatever, moving on.)
The (Ph)Fandom
19 years later and here we are. Enter the Phandom (called that before that phill and whoever used the term, idc i'm still going to use the term.) We, the fandom, almost completely just retconned the show's finale. (obviously SOME people still like it but its like. an incredibly small percentage) Like. we straight up pretend it didn't happen. i don't even want to get into it rn. It was SO BAD that the graphic novel that just released literally (spoilers) retconned everything about it aside from a ship pairing.
Anyway the Phandom- personally I think it goes a little TOO harsh in its angst. LIke, maybe a bit too much. But it DOES add nuance and explores the themes and lore that the show just flat out refused to engage with at all. It really digs into the premise of "hey wtf this 14 year is half dead. hello? hello??? thats fucked up.... lets explore that." and i'm here for it.
As long as its not like, masochistic and gratuitous for no real reason. 😬That is my biggest complaint with the fandom is that sometimes it goes over board.
But yeah outside of that, it can also be VERY silly so expect tonal whiplash here too! We got memes. We got fandom holidays and events. Whacky stuff.
OH AND OCs. We have fandom OCs like Wes. The best nonexistant character ever. Love that lil weirdo <3. His whole schtick was "What if Danny had another human villain? What if this random background classmate knew his secret and was trying to expose it?" and its spiraled from there. No one ever believes Wes and he's tortured by it. Some make him out to be a conspiracy nut while others make him more of a threat. (or a joke, as I do) Considering this show has a ghost-version of the Men in Black (Guys in White) conspiracy actually lines up accurately for what Wes does. And, you know. The Fenton's have a portal to the afterlife in their basement. Honestly pretty reasonable.
so like the fandom just kinda... picks and chooses the canon. It does have an edge of "we can do better" but in fairness, as I just discussed, there's an awareness that the version we make is not restricted by the environment the show was made under. I would hope most of the fandom understands this and doesn't say it in the sense of like "oh yeah I know better than professional writers and artists fuck the show 1000%" instead of acknowledging Yes He Fucking Sucks but its also more complicated. I don't want to foster an environment of superiority and disrespect to any media/creators (with exceptions ofc) cause. Jesus christ we live on the internet in 2023 you have to know why I feel this way by now.
Anyway with that in mind, I do think it's a positive thing! I mean, fuck, the show had no new content for almost 20 years I think its obvious by now we'd just make our own doll house out of it by now.
So yeah the Phandom is like this:
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We're oddly consistent with the phandom lore we've built around from the canon's lore. We expand it, we make it more queer, we do our own thing. And I really enjoy it! I partake in it! It's pretty cool.
So while there's some merit to the OG show I would not recommend it on account of the amount of BS I mentioned at the start of the post. But I would recommend the fandom! As long as you got a strong black list with trigger warnings in place. Again, I think the fandom is a lil too gratuitous. But oh my god I love so much of what the fandom does. There's so many fics that just stick with me and (ha) haunt me. There's a reason I still come back after all these years. there are SO many good fics.
also the fandom got adopted by the DC fandom a year or two ago. personally i have to have like 80 tags blocked so i can even navigate the tag. Its not my thing but i'm happy people are having fun!!
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freddiefagbearsdiner · 6 months
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Aphtober: Day two: Devotion
Tw: mentions of abuse, neglect, religious trauma, apathy and resentment, abuse of power, and death.
Please proceed with caution
I want Zane’s devotion to Irene and her religion to be driven by a desperate need to be loved.
Zane being the second heir to the throne of O’Khasis meant that he was continually fighting for the attention of his father. His mother was not much better, ensuring that he kept in line, didn’t mess up.
Garte was not the abuse of power he stands as today when he was a young man. Power and publicity and money got in his eyes and blinded him to see good that dripped off of taxing the people. He became cruel because he was also raised in a system that told him being calculated was the only way to get something done and done right. Garte added a trait to that. Cruelty.
Garroth was born and very quickly into as soon as he could walk and comprehend was taught the importance of staying in line and showing up where and when needed. He was never given the opportunity to be a child.
Zane was born just when Garroth was soon to be five years old. This was the backup baby. If Garroth was not fit, then Zane would be the replacement. The oops, onto the next one. This meant that Zane was raised very similarly. He was the understudy that got no direct attention. Zane was left neglected while Garroth was left to take the brunt of his fathers whims of rage.
Both of these styles were horrifically detrimental to them.
Zianna stops paying attention to either of her children once the punishments are no longer just a hit to the cheek or wrist. She distances herself from it. Because if she can not see it, she can’t feel bad about it.
This brings Vylad to the table when Garroth is 7 and Zane is three. Vylad was born from an affair to a poor man who was quickly disposed of after Garte quickly discovered this child was not his because he didn’t even sleep in the same bed as his wife after Zane was born. He had no need to. Vylad was the mistake. The hidden child. He got most of his mothers attention. Smothered in it. Smothered in it so much so that when Garroth turned 14 and was really getting into his studies for becoming lord, Vylad ran away. Vylad ran away and wasn’t able to be found. Mind you, this child is 8.
He was quickly presumed dead after Garte decided that he did not wish to waste his time looking for a bastard child. He had to focus. He needed to focus.
Zane has been, in the meantime, been on his own for the most part. He has devoted himself to the church of Irene because that is what his father always preached about whenever he would punish them. Surely their father can’t be wrong. Surely their father is just doing this because he loves them. Surely.
Zane has completely and wholly devoted himself to the church because after his father gouged out his eye for the command of Irene told him that if the eye causes you to disobey, pluck it out (Bible reference). He had openly been looking at other young boys his age playing. He had been distracted when his father had asked something and that triggered something so deep inside Garte that it cost Zane his eye.
After that immense trauma and lengthy healing time, he devoted himself to Irene and her practices. He did not believe she existed but surely her practices were just. His father still payed no attention to him.
It was only until after Garroth disappeared without a word on his fourteenth birthday at the news that when he turned 15 he would be a part of an arranged marriage to the daughter of scaleswind that Garte paid any attention to Zane. The forgotten child finally had the spotlight and oh by the gods he soaked it up.
I truly am a believer of the idea that bad people are made and not born. Hatred and cruelty and violence are taught behaviors by what we see around us. Zane is no exception of this.
Zane followed Garte by the t in order to become worthy of training for the position of the high priest. Zane ate it up. He read hundreds of books and attended hours upon hours of confirmation classes and practices. By the age of 18, when Garroth had just graduated the guard, Zane Ro’Meave was the high priest of O’Khasis. And he finally had all of the attention he could ever want.
His devotion to Irene and her cause is so strong that it shook boundaries of what worship to Irene even looked like. It shook they very basis of the church from how he spoke. He finally had a voice. And he was going to use it. He was going to use it to take that ungrateful bastard of a brother down to the nether with him for abandoning all of the success that he could have had. That he had been handed.
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hunterxhunterbabes · 1 year
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Here's my analysis on the ch 397 leaks from a child developmental and a trauma lived experience perspective. Might need to go deeper into detail to speak to the nuances later, but we'll see.
MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT
Edit 02/12: Now that I've read the full English translation (not just summaries), I've updated a couple sections.
HUGE TRIGGER WARNING: child murder/death, csa mention, description of a corpse, grief
What I suspected to happen to Sarasa was depressingly accurate… I’ve seen lots of pre-release discussion on Reddit of people being like ‘I don’t understood how they turned out to be cold blooded killers tho’ and it makes me feel some things. If you've never experienced extreme trauma before, it can be hard to empathize with how the murder of someone precious is completely life altering, so I can understand people thinking there needs to be more.. But there doesn't.
Speaking from my own lived experience, I never saw my sister's corpse but the traumatic loss has devastated my life these last two years. With how our world has treated me and my friends in our shared trauma/grief, I can understand how the troupe's trauma will be forced to fester and not heal, leading to who they are as adults.
If we solely focusing on their childhood friends murder, heavily implied to be for a snuff film (and I’m not excluding the possibility of rape), plus Chrollo seeing, holding, smelling her decomposing dismembered corpse, is plenty enough trauma on its own to become the villains they are now. This trauma is easy to be compounded and thus shape their worldviews. There doesn’t need to be more than this.
How the Kurta clan massacre fits in I think is still missing a crucial piece that’s to be revealed in the manga and I think it’s related to Sheila specifically since its clear she's gone off on her own. But again, there is enough trauma already for a bunch of unrestrained kids to fly into a fit of hatred and rage in order to commit genocide. Let me explain why.
In a world that doesn’t care about their existence to begin with, the dismissal, invalidation, and utter disregard for any of the baby spider’s feelings and trauma outside of MC will push them further into a place of growing fury, resentment, and hatred of others unlike them. It doesn’t take much to scorn someone grieving, especially when they’re a child. Children are naturally prone to emotional dysregulation until they’ve been modelled and taught how to self-regulate themselves in healthy ways.
Even as teenagers, the pre-frontal cortex (emotional regulation center) and frontal lobe (decision making) are undergoing major development at this age. So I want you to imagine yourself growing up in chronic poverty, being parentless (EDIT: it seems that the kids do have caretakers at least, but they're not the most attentive - hence Sarasa's not knowing she was actually missing and not just out playing), relying solely on your survival skills and found family in this forgotten city. Now imagine finding one of your siblings brutally murdered, a note from the murderers (boasting about what was done to her) and displayed like trash (in a literal trash bag). How would you react as your 16, 14, or 12 year old self? I doubt you’d be far from cool as a cucumber.
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Additionally, I personally believe they don’t have truly healthy, nurturing relationships with the adults in MC; relationships that allow them to fully experience their grief in meaningful ways without some kind of ulterior motives behind them. Now, I know the elders have been mostly shown to be caring and nurturing of the children in these chapters, but I think Togashi is alluding to a darker undertone of manipulation (specifically of Chrollo, who need I remind you is a literal child here). It was pretty clear in the Elder's discussion a couple chapters ago that they think Chrollo will be able to solve the entire city’s problems. That's a pretty huge burden and expectation to put onto a grieving child's shoulders. And at the end of the Chapter, he takes on that challenge to not only create the Dark Web knowing Sarasa murderers want to show off their video but also create an entire defense system for MC. By the time he's 14.
I don’t know where this will actually come into after this current chapter, my guess in those 3 years Chrollo will take before coming back, but it’s a bad sign of what he's to still experience imo. (EDIT: pretty much confirmed that's what will happen in these next three years). Plus, I find its interesting that the adult spiders always comment on the political agendas of the MC leadership/elders, when they either talk about their home or go back there to eliminate the chimera ants. I believe this is an insight they’ve gained as adults to know they were manipulated and their vulnerability from grief exploited to do MC’s bidding in their earlier years of being the Phantom Troupe.
Without having unconditional emotional guidance and support from adult figures, of course they’re going to have major developmental impacts in their sense of self/identity and their worldviews of outside MC. They will learn to cope and survive through the pain (and guilt) of their grief through maladaptive behaviours. Furthermore, without anyone to provide guidance or mentorship on morality at this crucial developmental age, their sense of morality will quickly become skewed and easily lost in their future vigilante efforts. Even this potential nen master, Ms. Lenko, has a clear disdain for purity based on her comment regarding Machi's 'beautiful eyes'.'
What becomes the threshold for them to determine who is truly a bad person and deserves to die? How do they determine going about morally grey situations? How do their subjective perspectives of what is harm influence or inform their objective definition? Do they try to be objective in their vigilante work or is their regard for others lives based purely on their subjective experiences? I’d say it’s the latter.
Lastly, I want to touch of the experience of guilt in grief. Whether survivors guilt or a sense of guilt for having caused the death, it’s a destructive force that can become a sole driving factor/motivator in the period following traumatic loss. Essentially, it can perpetuate and extend the survival mode (a fight flight or freeze response) many people enter after major trauma. It’s near to impossible to heal from the guilt without supportive adult (or professional) relationships to help reframe the perspective of the guilt.
From self-blaming to a fierce distrust and hostility towards others, even as far of blaming or taking out the anger of injustice on innocent people, its all very possible to have a play at the adult spider's internal conflicts. I think most notably, we see how the outward anger has been projected by Uvo, Feitan, and Phink's interactions with the world around them. Like, they've clearly always been 'tough guys' but as kids, they knew when to stop or could be talked out of their hostility (coincidentally by Sarasa), meaning that in losing her, they lost that part of themselves at least in part. They trust and respect Chrollo's directions, but he himself is severely (I'd say moreso) traumatized than the rest, so he's probably one of the worst role models for them to follow because he is doing worse than the others. It just kind of spirals from there.
I honestly think Chrollo is internally being haunted by self-guilt, long after this event. Im Mc, he states in front of the crowd that he's responsible of letting her go home alone, that its his fault that now she's missing... He is heavily blaming himself. He later says if he were to ever be reunited with her, he would apologize to her over and over again... Again blaming himself for her murder because he knew she was alone and didn't go with her. This really made me think a part of him still internally struggles with this same self-blame and guilt around his adult comrades deaths.
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His reaction to Shalnark and Kortopi's deaths, understandably impact him, but I see his face in a new light now. It’s a face of immense guilt and regret for being at fault because HE borrowed their abilities, HE left them defenceless against other nen users like Hisoka; They died because of HIM. Hisoka was the one to kill them, but their deaths could have been avoided if they had a fighting chance. Like Sarasa, he KNEW they were defenceless because of his own actions and didn’t protect them. Seeking revenge on their killer and feeling guilt or responsibility for their deaths co-exists. In fact, revenge is the only way Chrollo can atone for his mistakes that led to their deaths.
Back to MC, I’m pretty sure sometime in those three years after Sarasa’s death, Chrollo finds and watches the video of what they did to her; a Chapter Black tape (a popular theorized YuYu Hakusho parallel, which seems likely given how its been set up) that irreversibly pushes him over the edge, solidifying his internalized guilt and learning to project it onto the world around him by taking lives indiscriminately to meet his own ends and sense of justice, until it devolves into a pleasure to seek control and have dominance over everything he wants as an adult.
After all, this experience and their entire lives up to this point has been centered around the knowledge they live in a city the world doesn't care about, that their lives are disposable from birth and now especially death. That their lives have no meaning unless they fight to make meaning of it themselves, which they do through the Spider.
Utterly gut-wrenching. Heartbreaking.
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spicywidealmond · 3 months
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can we have an explanation of this au? i relaly like it and the designs n stuff n im actully curious,,,
TW; DEATH , STRONG THEMES , TOXIC THINGS IG
"It's a slightly chaotic AU, especially regarding the characters' pasts and relationships. I'll highlight some things:
My AU doesn't have a chronological order, and there are some plot holes, I believe.
-Ages:
The characters' ages don't align with canon events, so:
TDI: Everyone is 25 years old.
XTRA: Alejandro and Sierra are 24 years old, Blaineley is 36.
TDROTI: Everyone is 23 years old.
TDPI: Everyone is 21 years old.
TDI2023: Just turned 18 years old.
TDRR: A special case since there are many, so here's the list hehehe: Geoff and Brody: 25 and 24.
Jacques and Josee: 28 and 29.
Carrie and Devin: 19 and 21.
MacArthur and Sanders: 30 and 29.
Owen and Noah: both 25.
Kitty and Emma: 21 and 23.
Crimson and Ennui: 26 and 27.
Jay and Mickey: both 16.
Ellody and Mary: both 20.
Stephanie and Ryan: 31 and 32.
Lorenzo and Chet: both 17.
Tom and Jen: 26 and 25.
Rock and Spud: both 21.
Laurie and Miles: both 23.
Kelly and Taylor: 16 and 45.
Gerry and Pete: both 57.
Dwayne and Jr: 40 and 14.
Leonard and Tammy: 21 and 22.
My AU has arcs to guide it, currently, there are 4, and I'll give a summary:
ARC 1: Zoey and her revenge. Zoey and Mike broke up because of Mal; this upsets Zoey. She starts to lose her mind and begins to harm others, almost killing Wayne and Trent. All of this happens over 9 months until a mistake lands her in jail.
ARC 2: Scarlet Association. Here, there are new villains who want to make life impossible for others. Scarlet and Max are villains at first but later betray the association for good reasons. After this, the real villains appear: Zoey, Josee, and Nichelle. During this time, Zoey and Nichelle die. Nichelle is murdered by Raj as the trauma begins to affect him to the point of becoming somewhat crazy. Zoey is murdered by Shawn as he gets angry at everything and in a fit of rage kills her XD. Josee realizes the damage she's done and decides to redeem herself thanks to Jacques and Wayne.
ARC 3: Consequences and Secrets. After defeating the Scarlet Association, there are many physical and psychological damages. Those from TDI2023 are greatly affected, especially Raj and Wayne. Luckily, Wayne falls in love with Julia, and Bowie helps Raj overcome his trauma. Also, other characters like Chase or Caleb begin to have traumas until, in an accidental act, Chase kills Priya. This affects Caleb and Emma (I'll explain in another post). There's also a strong lore about Chris's past. There was a group of friends called 6teens, which included Chris, Don, Linda, Josh, Gerry, and Pete. There were many problems, notably Linda falling in love with Gerry, but he rejected her, causing Linda to commit suicide. One day, Gerry sets the school on fire, leading to the group's separation. Gerry did all this out of LOVE.
ARC 4: Love Island. This is the most recent, there isn't much lore as it's recent.
And that's the explanation I can give at the moment. If you have more questions, let me know, as I can answer them."
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morrysillusion · 8 months
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while i will say its sad i didnt get to playing Lisa until recently (a case of 'no one told me enough abt this game to make me get it sooner') there is also something interesting to say about playing it now, versus what it would have been like playing it 5-10 years ago. because this game does touch on some hard subjects, and its not a simple 'this would be uncomfy to play as a 14 year old' and not even 'this game would trigger me' its just like, i probably would have seen it in the Height of 2015 toxic tumblr culture and i would have denied everything good about it...
cuz you know. that was generally the time where callout culture was at its height and it was kind of crazy- it was very out of control. and i was very sucked into the paranoia of trying to make sure i was never problematic. by no means did the game Lisa come up in my circle to deem it "problematic" but ooooo boy i know it wouldve been. and i know i probably wouldve heard enough about it to shove it to the side and think "no, never, this is disgusting and offensive" etc. for all the wrong reasons of course, and tbh i probably would come around eventually but it would have been much harder.
this is all to say-- its not always bad to be late to the party. i think i played this game at a really good place in my life. not even in terms of my own mental recovery over the years but just my own maturity and being able to like... better view this kinda thing. years back it felt like any peice of media tackling a sensitive triggering subject was deemed bad until proving otherwise, but even then there would be enough subjective opinions around that there would always be someone vehemently against the thing still. and paranoid teenager me, didnt want to be a 'bad person'.
Lisa was a good reminder to myself that these things can totally and should exist and you cant be so strict on stories that tell some of these subjects. you really cannot. its okay to have wavering suspicions about some when people have bad intentions but you cant just stop letting people write. that old tumblr culture made me feel like you literally had to fit every subject ever mentioned and if you didnt then you couldnt write it. or, you just had to tell everyone you had [disorder, trauma, etc] in order to write it at all. insane lol.
so yea sorry so much Lisa love rn bc that game went hard on its subjects and its painful (sorry, i dont intend the joke its just true) to sit through and it sucks, its uncomfortable, etc but there is nothing wrong with that alone.
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hey i am asking you a question but i have no imagination so like ahsduudud
imagine I've asked you something you've wanted to ramble about ok well ramble below!!!
:O TEA YOURE...ASKING ABOUT THE PDGG SIDE CHARACTERS AND THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE MAIN CHARACTERS????
i talk about the pdgg mcs a considerable amount but THE SIDE CHARACTERS ARE SO SILLY AND I NEVER GET A CHANCE TO TALK ABOUT THEM
First off we have Inora! 21 years old, she/her, very very gay. she has alot of religious trauma and volunteers at the local library, aria knows her from church and she has alot of history knowledge which came in pretty damn handy
Then theres Lani! Inora's (girl)friend, rip limbs off first ask questions later is her motto, she knows the group through Inora
And baby boy Eli! 14 years old, has strong cringy middleschooler energy, hes one of Arias childhood friends which is how he knows the group
Inoras emotionally constipated but its okay we still love her. Honestly shes very introverted and just wants to be left alone but when Aria came in saying "hey can i borrow every book you have about the protectors and the lume? yeah i have evidence that alot of history was a lie" suddenly she didnt mind her peace and quiet being interrupted as much
Lani and Inora are like totally in love but neither of them ever say anything about it. They should say something about it. Lani definitly ate dirt as a kid.
Eli has a crush on mathew but he never says anything about it and mathews too oblivious to pick it up on his own so instead we have Aria hinting at it ✨*jazz hands*✨ Aria thinks Eli and Mathew should date. Oriana thinks Alex would be a better fit for Mathew. its up to you to decide whos opinion is better
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juurensha · 3 months
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Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?
Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "juurensha "?
Thanks if you want to answer....
Ooooo such a fun question.
Top 10 fics ever:
Something Borrowed by rageprufrock - the best IwaOi fic, I love it so much, the characterizations are just stellar here (is it ABO, yes, but shush, I love it)
家教 - or - Domestic Education by rageprufrock - the best Guardian fic I've ever read, and I love the Shanghai-ness of it all!
as to which may be the true by susiecarter - identity porn at its best (I was going to pick tell all the truth (but tell it slant) by susiecarter originally, because fake dating, but I've reread this one more, so I think it has to count as my favorite SuperBat fic)
Excessively Clever by astolat and Champion by astolat - I know nothing about Transformers, but astolat's fic made me absolutely adore these robots
The vates series by Lightning on the Wave (starts here ) - just because it takes the HP series world and completely blows it up and adds so much cool lore of its own. Yes, yes, all the characters are basically OC's at this point, and the Drarry gets a bit too much come Year 4, but my god, that lore.
a simple thing by iridan - lovely Mandalorian fic that gives both Din and Boba peace (and ignores the later seasons, thank god)
ships that pass in the night by beethechange - okay, okay, I know it's RPF, and let me caveat by saying, I think the real Ryan and Shane are just good friends, but I really enjoyed the hilariousness of this fic and the innate wistfulness and yearning to it as well.
it's about time that you just unwind by fuckener - idk, I just love two middle-aged snarky guys figuring out their sexualities and working out their trauma together, despite the fact that I have watched It entirely through gifsets
Lithograph by romantic_drift - the Nirvana in Fire fixit fic we all DESERVE
And now I'm going to cheat and stick a few extra under the readmore
Play It Again by metisket - all I have ever wanted is for all the Hales to be alive, so I deeply enjoyed this Sterek AU
Fealty by astolat - Person of Interest was pretty formative for me, and I love nothing more than devotion
Out of This Place by Sineala - sort of fake dating, and I do love Eagle of the Ninth so much, despite it being kind of a terrible movie
Dooku Captured, Pt 2 by DarthNickels - the Stars Wars AU we all deserved
#bakudeku by rageprufrock - it's not a BakuDeku story, its a TodoDeku story, and I love it because it's hilarious
An Unexpected Gift by Miko - an oldie but a goodie, I am still so fond of the Silver Pair from Prince of Tennis
And as for my username juurensha, this all stems from juu's weeb phase (that she never grew out of exactly, so it's actually quite fitting!) Tiny 13/14 year old juu was quite into Bleach and Naruto and was of course coming up with OC's, and specifically for Naruto, wanted to come up with a girl from a weapon's family. Googling random Japanese terms online yielded
銃連射/じゅうれんしゃ
meaning rapid weapons fire/or hail of bullets.
13/14 year old weeb juu: close enough!
So, that was my Naruto and Bleach OC's last name. Yes, and then I proceeded to use this super cringe name as my Ao3 username because I assumed that no one else would have used it yet, and here I am!
...I still really like it :DDDD
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modern-inheritance · 2 months
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I’d like to make a confession.
Would you hate me if I told you I have no idea what you are talking about? The whole inheritance thing, I think it’s some sort of book series..?
I once came across your post about FMAB. And came to your blog and for some reason followed you.
And then I just liked the general vibe and your enthusiasm for this inheritance stuff and stuck around..?😅
(Please don’t hunt me down)
My dear, dear Anon. I'm sorry I let this sit for over a week.
I would never hate you. Especially considering you're hanging out here for my off the wall vibes. I wonder what my vibes are like. I'm feeling particularly unhinged lately, I kinda hope it shows. It means a lot that you stuck it out even without knowing what the hell I'm talking about.
ANYWAY. FMAB. Yes. Much love for it. If you can't tell I have a thing for war trauma and angst. *Slaps the series* This baby can fit SO MUCH WAR TRAUMA! And I LOVE IT!
Let's answer your main question though! The Inheritance Cycle is a book series by Christopher Paolini, and is frequently known as 'the Eragon books.' A basic summary of the first book and the series as a whole is that Eragon, a farm boy in a medieval setting, is hunting for his family when a blue rock that kinda looks like a giant tictac explodes into existence in front of him. Takes it home, and eventually a babby dragon is borned and headbutts his hand and he gets magic powers and a mental link to the dragon, who he eventually names Saphira and is a sassy sassy lady. Eragon is, understandably, kinda a helpless dork, and when people who want the stone/egg/tictac come to the village and murder his family he has to go on the run with the local storyteller and Saphira in a harebrained revenge plot that eventually morphs into 'oh shit uh we have to save the entire fucking country, huh?'
There's dwarves, there's elves, there's an evil king with a tortured and warped dragon, there's evil incarnate shades, MOAR dragons, sword fights, family drama (oh man. sooooooo much family drama), wise old men that are grouchy but lovable, POC and female characters in power, an entire magic system that could kinda be based in wordplay that is also influenced by intention, there's eventually political bullshit and romance(ish), there's skimmed over trauma and it was originally written when Paolini was 14 for the first book and it kinda shows but. but. it is good. and I enjoyed it. It raised me. I got a tattoo of my favorite character's tattoo and a word from the magic language.
I kinda grew up with these characters, started reading Inheritance Cycle when I was 8. I first started writing through it around then after absolutely hating writing. But! I had some...issues. With certain things in the books. Specifically how several of the characters have some very...very obvious trauma, mostly with one character in particular but oh man it's a warzone and Eragon is like...15 when he's first dragged into it, it's been going on for a literal century, there are people who were there when it started still around, can we get some PTSD therapy over here? It's brushed over once or twice in a chapter or two, but otherwise we are left to speculate and shrug at how it really did affect them. And I wanted to explore it. So, after many years of trial, error, and false starts and not realizing I had actually, well, made it, I began writing the Modern Inheritance Cycle stories, aka MIC or Modern Inheritance. It's quite a bit different from the source material and to be honestly at this point I'm probably just borrowing character names and loose plotlines, but it's home for me.
Anyway, while the earlier books do indeed show Paolini's age at times, I would honestly recommend picking up the cycle at some point. There's a new TV show in the works, though we never get news about it, and since we're a fairly small fandom we always love new people. At least, we do here. On MIC. Am I a tv show?
I wanna say again that I really appreciate you sticking around. If you ever wanna chat one on one feel free to message me and I can gush about the series, but only if you don't mind spoilers. I mean if you actually read some of my stuff then you might have already spoiled a ton of stuff but hey. I protec the newbies. Thanks for showing interest and again, I would never hate you. This ask made my week I was smiling like a dumbass.
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