#this blog is also me talking about my 2018 days & mutuals a lot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pastelfates · 3 months

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Talk about some of your favorite experiences on this website if you feel comfortable doing so! I'm meaning favorite threads, partners, muse experiences, etc. You've gone through a lot of hardship across multiple blogs yet you never give up and you keep doing what you love so I figured it'd be nice to talk about the positive stuff that helps you to keep going despite all the trouble.

◌・❀➵ Okie so this is gonna be long post so everyone grab a drink n some snacks! I just wanna start with that if it wasn't for my mutuals I have no idea where I'd be, ya'll have been with me through so much and some of the hardest times of my life and I can't thank everyone who has stayed enough.

◌・❀➵ FAVORITE THREADS/INTERACTIONS

➵ @morifactory ➵ Eddie and Serina meeting! Also the Riba and Serina and Riba ikea thread/ All our Carbon and Serina threads hav a place in my heart. And Talia w the blond bois! Also so far Kiki and Esmee has my heart. And ya know our first scarvi ocs and our stardew ocs. Me and Lena hav a lot of connected ocs

➵ I'm gonna count this as a thread bc it was a thread of asks but Mana once had multiple sections of the bee movie sent to her and it was absolutely hilarious. Committed to the bit with the url /frankiebeestan at that time.

➵ @constellationcrowned / @malusrecord ➵ LISTEN I care so much for Nellie, Mell, and Sunny's lil friendship (i hav a half typed starter for them in drafts shh), and Mana and Kariom's friendship is very special to me bc sobs Mana feels v comfy around him which means a lot bc she rarely fills comfy around ppl.

➵ @ervaurem ➵ Listen the family stuff with Law and the sisters is my weakness. It's been since 2021 that the fam has existed and I heccin cri. The treasure hunt thread has my heart,,

➵ This one is fairly recent but with @riftdancer, @ofstarsandskies, and @mathcs the whole Jude is evil arc has been so much fun so far!

➵ This was more so on discord but the relations have made their way to tungle but @pyonpyonpyon, @forgottenluck, @talesofourworlds, @mathcs, and @broadswordandpistol the sad boi drinking hours,, it was so cursed and sad at the same time, and it was such a highlight to me.

➵ @strebcr ➵ Can I say all of them? Just Streber and Mana have had so many good threads! Mana loves her new frog and just aaa

➵ @maligncntchain ➵ again with just recent threads but the two were cute and just silly gremlin uses the power of treats to not be immediately under the control of pecharunt was v funny to me

➵ @archivisim ➵ Sobs special place for the lil series of thread/asks we had just recently. Their similarities really just came through and they are hopefully gonna be more comfortable around each other!!

➵ @hxroic-wxlls ➵ cris it was like forever ago but the thread with Sunny and Luigi was so wholesome and I want you to know Sunny thinks Luigi is v cool. Also Mana and Simon has a v somft relationship i adore. the lil drill necklace he gave her for her birthday is one of her prized possessions.

➵ I know I posted a lot of newer stuff so I'm gonna bring up a thread from like ages ago?? 2018-2019 to be exact, the days I wrote non-seriously. I had a thread with two people over a skit in a game and it was just peak. Also that blog is still around (not deleted) so anytime I wish I can see the silly threads that bring me so much joy.

➵ Again on older threads, and while this one isn't on tumblr it is canon to Mana history. She has unapologetically set a bakery on fire with no remorse. That event also had like the first actual set appearance of REGRET and her lil maze which honestly makes me v happy bc REGRET is one of my all time favorite ocs. And Symonne's maze was there too, really care for that Ivar and Sync interaction in the rpg horror house w the fake Jude and stuff

➵ FAVORITE PARTNERS / People I adore seeing on dash

@ad-simul , @archivisim, @broadswordandpistol, @opscurus / @cpirits , @canidgrit, @castelias-comeups, @constellationcrowned / @malusrecord, @electricea, @ervaurem, @forgottenluck, @historias-multorum , @hxroic-wxlls, @kaizokugaris, @lightfallls , @maligncntchain , @morifactory , @nobuverse, @ofstarsandskies, @pinklocksoflove, @riftdancer, @talesofourworlds / @outofthisgxlaxy, @soulsbetrayed,

➵ I love seeing you all on dash, your threads are all peak and I just wanna say tysm for being moots with me and allowing me the opportunity to be a part of the stories you unfold for your characters. I am forever thankful to you all for everything and to the all of you have stayed with me despite how awful things have gotten, thank you for never giving up on me and seeing something in me when even I wasn't able to. You all are the reason I'm still here, continuing this hobby I love to my core. I hope I can be around for many more years to come and that I will continue to have you all by my side.

#➵ ooc #constellationcrowned #Im too lazy to tag everyone but thank you all so so much #I adore you all and I will say it as often as need be

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coffee-at-annies · 6 months

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hockey tag game 🏒

Got tagged by @reavenedges-lies last night (love you lovely, sorry tried to get this out before the game and didn’t succeed)

rules: list your

✨️ no°1 team?

Pens Pens Pens. My flightless fucks. My shitsburgh team. The Pittsburgh Penguins

I don’t do multiple teams but shout out to ren’s yotes and ez’s kraken for being over there and making my moots happy

💌 your favorite goalie?

Tristan Jarry. Mouse boy, my beloved. (Flower is there, but a distant second)

🔟what would be your jersey number?

25 cause it’s square

backup would be 7

👯🏻‍♂️what team would you love to play for?

hahaha do not catch me playing any levels of hockey I am bad at sport

❤️‍🔥who is your favorite player currently?

I’ve already said Jarry? Like that’s him. That’s my boy. *stands up and points*

The players on the second tier of the favorite tier list are POJ, DOC, Jakenbake, Rusty

The core are their own separate tier that is up there but unplaceable

👀a trade that hurt you emotionally?

flower

I’ve actually still never forgiven gmjr for trading Oleksiak back to Dallas. I’ve healed from the trade itself but the bitterness of trading him *back* will just live in my heart forever

I’m also still seething at trading Teddy to Vegas for nothing cap space that we used for granlund.

(Technically we got a pick for Teddy that we traded back to Vegas for Smith so like I’m healing but it’s very begrudging and gmrh can still get fucked)

🌈 what is your experience on hockeyblr so far?

It’s probably the fandom that I’ve been in and active in the longest. Been here and live-blogging regularly since late 2017-early 2018. Everything else has been scattershot or I never really got the courage up to actually talk or content create.

Lotta ppl say good things about how welcoming hockeyblr is and that’s something I try to be every game.

Im not a particularly big blog but it’s nice hanging out, watching ppl come and go, making mutuals I try to talk to regularly, and seeing how things shift big and small.

Been seeing a lot of ppl tag lb posts w/ #[name] watches hockey which is a thing I’ve been doing basically since my early days live-blogging cause I started out as an omgcp sideblog and wanted a way for my non-hockey followers to effectively block everything hockey. So like seeing others pick it up and use it has felt very 🥰

and then tag some mutuals you'd like to know these about ☺️🏒🖤

I usually don’t tag ppl cause I don’t like to peer pressure ppl into participating but what’s the point of having mutuals if you don’t bug them on occasion.

Tagging @podcasts-8-my-heart, @archaicbro, @paintingtheice, @carpehistoryandthepens, @starrynight0612, @cornsobsessions, @flyingchiclets, @robindrake13, and anyone else who wants to do it. I’ve absolutely forgotten mutuals and if I’ve forgotten you, oops, it’s not on purpose I’m just forgetful

#chit chat #tag games

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freckliedan · 5 days

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just u mentioned it in one of ur recent ask replies, whats a fagdyke /genq and how is it different to . a dyke (i am also a dyke LMAO)

quite earnestly i have no way of answering this for everyone who IDs as a fagdyke but i can answer for myself! for me (& many others, to my knowledge) it's a gender thing. the very short version is that my gender is both fag and dyke, the way some people's gender is dyke.

i first started both ID'ing as a nonbinary lesbian whose gender was just dyke & using they/them pronouns in 2018 (the same year i made this blog). for me the main part of my identity at that time was the lesbianism? being othered from womanhood was a result of my sexuality.

because like. a lot of cishet womanhood is shaped by being attracted to men and performing gender in a way that's attractive to men. i embodied neither of those things, which automatically disqualified me from many people's definition of womanhood. so i was nonbinary not because i identified away from my assigned gender but because the consensus definition no longer included me.

i embraced dyke as gender, it's something i did very intentionally, but being nonbinary was still a secondary part of my identity. it wasn't until 2019 that i more fully interrogated my gender and started viewing transness as a more central part of my identity?

i started doing that interrogation when i started questioning whether lesbian was the best fit for me. my then-recently-nonbinary-partner was just beginning to explore gender more and i knew that if they someday realized they were a man & felt misgendered by me being a lesbian that lesbian would stop being the right fit for me.

which. that came fully from me? i worry about phrasing this in a way that'd somehow paint my husband in a negative light but it genuinely was just a point at which i started thinking directly about my gender rather than bypassing it by focusing on my sexuality. (and yes, they're my husband now, he's since figured out they're a nonbinary trans guy).

i stopped being nonbinary as an afterthought of lesbianism and started just being nonbinary which was! quite honestly a lot to process because i'd been ignoring it for a long time. but it's been half a decade and i've done my processing?

i realized that what's true for me is that my gender is both fluid and not singular. i label myself as queer and genderqueer when talking to cishet people, maybe as genderfluid/bigender/multigender if getting into the specifics. but that's not how i label myself to me or to my community? (well. queer is).

what i've realized is that like. my attraction is always queer. in a relationship with a woman or dyke aligned nonbinary person, my gender would be more dyke than anything else. in my relationship with my husband my gender is more fag, & the same would be true in a relationship with anyone whose gender is more aligned with man/fag.

(i say more in both of those examples because like. my gender still fluctuates for other reasons. i have days where i feel very little internal sense of gender. i have days where i experience both fag as a gender and dyke as a gender at the same time. the list goes on).

my gender is contextual in a lot of ways—the way i experience gender is different in the more rural red state used to live in vs the big city in a blue state i now call home. but the context of relationships is one of the biggest ones, because it's one of the biggest impacts on how other people percieve me.

like, to strangers and aquaintences i am my husband's husband or spouse, because it's most important to me to be understood as queer. but in much more personal circles i also sometimes call myself his wife, because that's sometimes a more accurate reflection of my gender and the people who i'm comfortable calling myself that around already are familiar with how i experience gender & with the fact that our relationship is queer.

i know that a lot of people likely view fag and dyke as two mutually exclusive identities, as an extension of the binary of man and woman. but even when i was just IDing as a nonbinary dyke i had more in common with nonbinary fags than with cis women. and the fact that i am a dyke has not gone away now that i've also realized i am a fag.

in full i'd describe myself as a fairy fagdyke femme. fag goes first because it's how i more often present myself to the world.

i know i'm not the only person with seemingly contradictory identities like this, but it's not something i talk the most about? a LOT of the queer community constantly regurgitates subtly bioessentialist & transphobic ideas that make it like.. uncomfortable (at best) to be present in both lesbian and gay men's spaces as a bigender/multigender person.

so i primarily connect with other trans people, especially genderfreaks like me.

ummm my last note here is. for many other fagdykes or dykefags their definition of the label and personal experience is completely different from mine! it can be the same thing as being a dyke. some dykes are transmasc but still have dyke as their main gender and identity. i'm barely scratching the surface on this.

#i'm a fag and a dyke at the same time! that's all.#jam replies #anon #gender studies #gender

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sobeksewerrat · 9 months

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☆~~Elvina The Cock-Kicker~~☆

prolly gonna update or change this later (updated: 11/4/24 [d/m/y])

Uh, hello! Name's Elvina (I also go by AnDrew/AnDrea! And Argo aswell, but you need permission from me to use that one), but you can call me whatever lol

(There is also Eara'as, but who cares-)

Update on 24/2/24: Fuck it I am naming myself Adam too. Yes, after the guy from Hazbin. Sue me. It is one of my favourite names now.

-> لو انت بتكلم عربي و عايز تكلمني بيه ممكن تقلي ربيع او مروان برده!!

I'm an amateur artist and writer; currently trying to graduate as soon as humanly possible (and high school has been kicking my ass)

My tagline is "kinda bored ngl"; seriously it's been in the bio of every social media account I have ever owned since 2019 at some point or another it's actually insane, WHY AM I SO BORED?!?

this intro post pretty much only looks good with the "Vampire" theme, if you don't have that, then it sucks to suck, i guess.

BEFORE YOU INTERACT!!

☆I have a full Rules post but these are some others not included in that or TL;DRs.

-> I block very liberally, but I never just randomly block a mutual (unless it is a joke like in the freakblr war or they did sth horrible). I have severe anxiety so I tend to just block anybody who I feel is aggressive (intentionally or otherwise) or weirds me out.

-> I have a really broken sense of humour and I post a lot about inside jokes and stuff with my mutuals. I know I can't stop you, but if we're not mutuals or you're not involved in whatever inside joke I am talking about please dni with the posts. Once a joke of mine blew up and I deleted the original post and made my friends delete their rbs so people would stop seeing it.

-> I tend to forget to tag TWs properly. If I forget to tag sth, please inform me!!

Fandoms:

Special Interest (persumably): The Music Freaks

Hyperfixations: Ace Attorney, Luca(2021), The Stanley Parable, Story Thieves, Scott Pilgrim , Hazbin Hotel

Danganronpa V3 [yes, V3 specifically.I don't interact with the fandom much]

Mark and Friends/The World of Mr.Plant

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K

Blue's Story (Victaton)

Big Hero 6

Diary of A Wimpy Kid (mainly the Dysfunctional Perspective fancomic)

Al Kabeer (not a fandom technically but who cares)

Sonic

Jackson's Diary

Aurora (red osp)

Riordanverse (including KC and MCGA)

Unfamiliar (Lavendertowne)

FNAF

Omori

Helluva Boss

Obey Me!

Ramshackle

Buncha other stuff that I am too lazy to name (might edit as i post about them)

Fandom Stuff to Tag Me In!!

My Kins!!

Random Bullshit:

Egyptian

fav colour is red

Professional Faggot since 2018 (legally)

Aro/Ace (achillean)

Agender / Aboy (transmasc, pronouns: he/him)

Basically just your local pathetic trans boy with mommy AND daddy issues (the whole package!)

INFP

Born in spooky month, loves spooky month

OCD, ADHD, self-diagnosed Autism

Biochemistry nerd. I didn't mean to be one but there was just something very intruiging about toxicology. Blame Lavendertowne.

Massive multi-shipper (also i like crackships, A LOT)

Coffee, vimto and soda addict (blame cockitchy ouma)

Fav. fictional chr. of all time: ✨Manfred von Karma✨(PW:AA)

Drew and Milly kinnie (TMF)

I am Drew irl, all I say about him is canon, I even run the rp blog, don't question me

✨✨✨LEADER OF THE ANTI-DARK REUNION✨✨✨

Menace to society, according to all of my irl friends, and just people who know me (just ask my freakblr mutuals, they'll tell you).

Minor, obv.

Never truly grew out of my Gacha phase

Other Blogs

Tags

Artfol: sobeksewerrat (not super active there lol)

Wattpad: ElvinaHS

AO3: sobeksewerrat

pronouns

Have a great day/ night!!

Your favourite god,

Sober Skewart 🐊🍻

#sobek freakposting #sobek rants #sewer dump #writing rats #sobek graffiti #brainingsewer #sobek yes #sobek's dumpster #cw flashing

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helldustedstories · 10 days

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@hzbinsouled asked: 🎮 🍝 🍦 🐶 📕 📺 🗒 🎧 🤗 😗 //i would say i'm sorry for sending so many but i am not bc i wanna KNOW uwu

Munday asks // accepting!

OH BOY, HERE WE GO. Under a cut for length!

🎮 — favorite video game(s)?

Let's see! The B.ioshock series will always have a special place in my heart (I vastly prefer 1 and 2 over Infinite, actually, and I have lots of reasons for that), but recently G.od of W.ar has been where my heart has been living. Not just 2018 and R.agnarok, but the entire series. Because the series as a whole leads up to the later games, and gives it that much more emotional punch, and.....I could go on about G.oW at length (and have, on my blog that has all of my characters ^^).

🍝 — favorite food(s)?

This sort of thing depends on the day of the week, how the stars are aligned, and the weather, among other things (this will be a trend with some answers). But a good go-to is some form of pasta or potatoes.

🍦 — favorite ice cream flavor(s)?

This is another one that varies! But mint chocolate chip or cherry and chocolate are delicious. (Not necessarily together, but!) I just....kind of really like ice cream, so I will eat most flavours. (When they're things that are supposed to be ice cream. I doubt I would enjoy, like, the ranch ice cream or ketchup, for example.)

🐶 — any pets?

I do have a pet! I have a doggo. His name is Dug, he has just met you, and he loves you. (I also claim Missa's cat Monkey as mine, but he does not currently live with me.)

📕 — favorite book/series?

This is another "that depends!" Because this answer has changed vastly over the years. A book that will usually rank towards the top is G.ood O.mens, and honestly anything by T.erry Pr.achett.

📺 — favorite movie(s) and/or tv show(s)?

Haha, well, currently, there's the obvious current hyperfixation. But other than that, T.he O.wl H.ouse, B.attlestar G.alactica, and G.argoyles are all top faves.

🗒 — what is/are your favorite genre(s)/theme(s) to write?

This is such a hard question. I love writing all sorts of different things! I think probably things that let me really delve deep into a character, to explore why they are the way they are, and to help them grow beyond that, if that makes sense. But I'm up for writing most things, really!

🎧 — do you write while listening to music/podcasts/videos/etc, or do you need total silence?

Oh, DEFINITELY with music. Music is one of those things that can absolutely make or break what I'm writing, for myself. I become almost unstoppable if I have a playlist for specific characters, because it can actually help me get into the right mindset for the specific character.

🤗 — are there any rpc mutuals that you’d like to meet irl?

Honestly, I'd love to meet any of my darling moots! I've had the pleasure of meeting a couple (Missa being the most obvious) from previous rpcs, and my track record is pretty good! (We don't talk about my former roommate because he was an outlier.)

😗 — what are some of your favorite things to do when you have some time to yourself?

I definitely love reading, which I don't do as much as I want to. But audio books have really helped with that, over the past few years. I also play/prep for D&D, work on various cosplays, and practice my various instruments (which I should also do more of, oops).

#hzbinsouled #✎ helldustedstories : ooc #✎ helldustedstories : answered #[sorry for all the 'that depends!' but it doooooes]

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isabelguerra · 6 months

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okok happy birthday I really want to know more wizard au stuff but I cannot find your fics pls a link would be much appreciated

also this is just like a free space to talk abt your au literally whatever you've been wanting an excuse for this anon is 4 you happy birthday my friend !!! we're not mutuals but you're like one of two regular pnat people on tumblr which is a bond I Think

THANK YOUUU FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES!!!! 💕💕 If it makes you feel better I’m not mutuals with ANYONE. This is a sideblog. Regardless it’s nice to have you here, I’m glad to be one of your few pnat blogs. :)

AND WELL LOL that would be because most of wizard au currently isn’t published! the best place to know more stuff about the au is either in my #wizard au tag, or just asking me! i love to talk about it, and right now it’s a lot easier for me to answer asks in my spare moments. i occasionally post screenshots from my doc files on here, but the fics are taking a backseat while I work on my Job Project.

Alternatively, you can check out:

The Pnat At Wizard School AU I Made When I Was 16 Is Still Fun Unfortunately JKR DNI - This was my first attempt at publishing the writing I’d done, before I got embarrassed and orphaned it, back in 2020. It’s a little outdated but most of it holds up. Boggart fic is one of my favorites.

Pnat Hogwarts AU by Twilighteve. I made wizard AU way back in 2015 with a friend, and twilighteve wrote SEVEN FICS as fanwork. The story now is different and follows Isabel rather than Max, but these are still great fics and I’m very lucky to have had someone enjoy my au enough to write so much for them. Throughout the Tournament is a really fun read.

i cant believe i’ve had this story for like 8 years at this point. i think it’s almost more fun to have as an au on my blog than an actual fic series? looking back whenever i start thinking about The Fics i just get stressed out. i’ve had it as an au since 2015 and i’ve had writing wips since 2018. its nice to have something with me for that long, i think thats why i keep coming back to it? even though thinking about it in terms of Fic Output and Writing Order makes me so stressed. at the end of the day it’s mine. and it’s there for be an outlet for me. if i want to be lazy about it, i can. if i want to put a lot of hard work into it, i can. i get to cozy up before bed and imagine wizjo scenarios.

and seeing how the characters have developed over the years has been weird- like, i wrote a lot of this in 2015. what do you MEAN codys a vampire. what do you MEAN theres whole new areas of the paranormal. its funny but when put next to current pnat you can REALLY see how its dated lol. so much is built on top of the 2015-2016 era headcanons like cody & lisa being twins, or not knowing what the spirit in isabels umbrella was like. we didnt know flipflop yet!!!! hes just not in there!!!!! we didnt know what the BERG was so max isnt a catboy!!! davy doesnt exist!!!!!!!

and there are in-comic background characters that we would talk about and gave names who show up in the au. these two are chasers on the gryffindor quidditch team with isabel & johnny:

& we named them sarah and logan. that might canonically be their names too????? but i cant remember.

Here are some very practical Wizard AU facts:

Story spans from 2nd year when Isabel loses Eightfold to 7th(?) year when they graduate

The biggest reason so much isn’t on AO3 is because theres so much I have no idea how to organize it. For example:

At my current pace, I have ~5 fics based on central emotional beats. In order to keep things interesting for non-izjo readers, I tried adding a little overarching plot

Said plot now vastly overshadows the initial series purpose of a Dorky 6 Year Long Izjo Slowburn

‘Wait I don’t care about this i just want my dorky 6 year long izjo slowburn. but wait, this has lived in my head since 2015, is it even legible to anyone who would just be coming into it?’

~5 central plot fics, each with around 5 chapters at maybe 10k per chapter give or take. is roughly 250k total. even if i do publish this it’s going to take years

What else is there…………. Isabel is really good at offensive magic. She becomes quidditch team captain in their 5th year. Max hates flying on brooms.

Wizjos arc means so much to me.

Their friendship vaguely starts in 2nd year. theyre the quidditch beaters but work horribly together- they argue a lot and dont get along at all, it almost gets them kicked off the team. theyre forced into a situation that pairs them to work together sometime mid semester, and at the end of it they’re still… tense, but have a better understanding of each other? like ‘you annoy me but we had a moment that i would feel bad betraying. i think were more similar than i thought and i dont know how to feel about it yet’. Johnny develops his crush and it’s very strangled because he’s 12.

By 3rd year they’re more cooperative. Getting towards friendly. Theyre teammates AND housemates, so even though theyre in separate friend groups they spend a lot of time together. Still bickering but there’s slowly more and more fun behind it. Less ‘i’ll shove you off your broom’ and more ‘hey maybe if we do x we can shove x off their broom together’. Isabel begins having fun hanging out with johnny because he bites back. It’s stopped being annoying and become ‘oh hes just as conscious (whether he knows it or not) about his image as i am. it’s nice to put that down around someone. and also blast him with wizard lasers sometimes. and get blasted by wizard lasers.’

By 4th year they’re friends and Johnny’s still sitting with his feelings. It’s just a part of daily life. Wake up. Brush teeth. Shut Up Guerra (Hey Guerra). Lunch. Pick on a 2nd year. Meet up with Guerra before practice. Tell that one joke cause it always makes her laugh. Don’t make it obvious how you feel. Don’t let it slip how you feel. Don’t jeopardize this. Don’t do anything that’d make her feel weird. You’re her friend and he likes being her friend so it’s not a big deal. Isabel has slowly been getting more pressure from her grandpa, and every time shes stressed and cant go to her AC friends she goes to Johnny. So by 4th year they’re more or less best friends.

By 5th year they’re a capital T Team. Isabel’s gryffindor captain now and Johnny’s essentially her right hand. He’s there to hold new member tryouts with her, they study in the commonroom late at night, hes so gleeful about her uppity new position that he permanently cements calling her Captain into their teasing nicknames and Isabel hates it. In return Isabel makes him do extra laps, because she can do that now. And then Johnny gets in a non-serious accident and is in the infirmary for a week and suddenly Isabel is confronted with Oh. Oh I Don’t Like This. Oh This Is Bad. He’s fine he just gets like a concussion or something but Isabel doesn’t KNOW that right away and all of a sudden she’s faced with ‘i didnt realize how much of my life you’ve become and i miss you now that youre not there’ ‘…….why do i miss you now that youre not there.’ ‘we have a quidditch match coming up and i dont know if youll be healthy enough to play’ ‘i dont care about the game. id cancel in an instant if it means you wont have to play injured’ ‘………………why did i-’ etc. And afterwards Johnnys FINE but isabel is left with this weird hole in her gut and the reality that In That Situation That Was My Reaction And Those Were My Feelings. She’s confronted with the fact that somewhere along the line, Johnny became someone important to her. And that him getting hurt worried her. Because she cares about his wellbeing. Because she likes spending time with him. Because he’s her quidditch partner. Because she doesn’t think she could see herself playing with anyone else. Because she doesn’t think she’d want to play with anyone else. And then shes in trouble.

By 6th year is when things start kicking into gear. For starters the Triwizard Tournament because I can’t do a wizard au without some wizard deathsports. None of it is directly involved, that’s actually MAX’S B-plot, but a lot of what goes on because of it directly influences the wizjo A-plot.

Now we’re dealing with Johnnys time-tempered feelings that he’s accepted nothing would happen with but are still very alive, and ISABEL, who has JUST realized and has been stewing in her feelings all summer. With no outlet or real processing. Cant even go to johnny about it because well he Is johnny. He’s johnny and he gets under her skin and helps her with her transmutation homework and when she blasts him in dueling class he gets back up with a bigger grin than when she knocked him down. And she’s going to explode, she thinks.

And I’ve talked about this but when Headmaster Boss Leader (lmfao) says the forest is off limits during the tournament, of course they bet who can sneak out and last longer. And of course both friend groups scatter and get lost in the woods and of course who finds each other but. each other. and of course theyre both angry and worried about their friends and on guard bc theyre in the fucking forbidden forest at like 1am. Isabels ashamed that she didnt think more and johnnys grumpy and theyre so so blaming it on each other. Don’t deal with your feelings when you can express them through what you both know best: bickering and riling each other up to get the energy out. Isabels doing all this while trying Not to think about her crush. Johnnys long accepted his crush and that it’s not going to happen. So they are both very very surprised when Isabel kisses him mid argument, much to her horror. She apologizes and they get back to looking for their friends, who find them first. Later that night Isabel decides to apologize properly, because in her mind she let her emotions get out of control and seriously took advantage of him and she feels horrible about it. He’s someone she cares about, even though he probably doesn’t feel the same way, and it was wrong (She’s beating herself up and saying see? heres what happens if you let yourself have nice things. youd be lucky if he even speaks to you after what you did. you cant do this again.). Johnny however hears ‘that meant nothing to me i’m embarrassed and dont read into it’. Which is. Fine. He knew that. He’s known that. Hes big and scary and doesn’t let something like rejection get to him. Especially cause it wasn’t even rejection because she was never interested in the first place! Which he knows! So it doesn’t matter! And he can handle it really well! Yeah sure thing Guerra no big deal why’d she ever WANT to kiss him right theyre not like that! See her at practice ! they both walk away like Glad that was cleared up! [screaming]

This keeps happening. 6th year is when everything thats been boiling starts bubbling over.

isabel kisses johnny and everything gets wobbly. they’re trying to focus on their studies, and quidditch, and maintain that comfortable friendship theyve had since 3rd year, and not think about how nice it would be to try it just one more time. everyone, including the guest students from other schools that are here for the tournament, can see that theyve got something going on, even if they cant. johnny makes an excuse to drape his legs over isabels lap. isabel finds an excuse to grab johnnys wrist, or nudge him on the shoulder. they’re trying to deal with how things used to be and how they are now and how they want them to be and how they feel.

they ALMOST kiss again during wizard prom, which they don’t attend together. but they dont.

and then they have exams in spring. and isabels sooooo confident that she’ll knock out that stupid dog boggart just like she did third year. so she’s pretty shaken up when her grandpa shows up instead and says hes pulling her out of school early. shes too much trouble and hes through putting up with this time-wasting education, its time for her to quit being an embarrassment to him and finish learning the family magic. theres a lot more insults thrown in but thats the jist. and she goes running to the commonroom because not only did all that happen and she’s freaking out, but it happened and she freaked out in front of the entire class. and johnny goes after her because hes worried like crazy and they have a moment and he goes a bit overboard on the whole ‘if thats what your real grandpas like then i dont care who he is hes a jackass. cant he see what an annoyingly massive brain youve got on your shoulders or how youre cracked at strategy or’ and he does that for like 10 minutes while gently rubbing her back and isabel is having another crisis on top of her grandpa crisis. because what she tried so hard to kill is still very much alive. and hes being weirdly soft and comforting and she feels better with him here and its a lot to deal with. And she feels horrible and guilty and she doesn’t want him to stop.

Johnny is trying desperately to break tension and make sure she knows its bullshit. She’s HIS friend! Nobody talks like that about one of HIS friends and gets away with it! Even if it was a creature disguised as her grandpa and not actually her grandpa! SHE deserves to know that it’s not true and HES not gonna stand by it! But shes resisting and hes frustrated and there’s got to be SOMETHING thatll get through her head there’s got to be SOMETHING he can do to show her what he thinks but shes being DIFFICULT and hes BAD AT WORDSTHINKING and- oh okay thats a kiss. To get through her big smart wonderful dense skull. And it’s very soft and very determined to say ‘you’re wonderful. this is how wonderful i think you are. you dont need me to tell you it but please listen please please please if you need to hear it from someone else ill tell you. i dont really know how to in the way you deserve but youre worth learning’. All in front of the couch they spent hours on studying and planning matches on and napping and its warm and isabel is. well. Isabel Is In Trouble.

And then oh. Well. Um. Hello Maxwell. Who Came To Check On Us Because We Were Taking So Long .

frankly i’m still not sure how they sort that one out. johnny awkwardly excuses himself. and sometime before the school year ends they Actually Talk About It

By 7th year theyre together and very happy and very much the school menaces. Turns out avoiding your feelings gets you nowhere when instead you could face them and put your head together and cause all your separate rabblerousery with each other. And also hold hands with your best friend who you meet for breakfast and fall asleep on and spar against and get excited over the upcoming quidditch season with and kiss and sneak out to the astronomy tower with a blanket. isabel doesn’t want to take over franciscos legacy and johnnys like ‘i mean youve been pretty busy buildin your own, cap’. and she thinks. yeah. but itd be um. kind of empty with just me, dont you think?

Because she likes spending time with him. Because he’s her quidditch partner. Because she doesn’t think she could see herself playing with anyone else. Because she doesn’t think she could see herself wanting to play with anyone else. And then shes in trouble. Because neither does he.

#asks #anon #I WROTE ……. SO MUCH MORE THAN I MEANT TO…… I GOT CARRIED AWAY..#THANK U FOR THE ASK I WENT A LITTLE BONKERS #head in my HANDS. WIZJO.#wizard au

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sastiel-is-my-serotonin · 2 years

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Tag game, thank you @samwinchestersleftshoe and @ihopethisnamewasnottaken for tagging me.

Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you want to know better.

Name: Ave which everyone obviously knows is short for Avenue. You can also call me Lance.

Sign: Aquarius.

Height: 5'6 I think, I don't know, it's been a debate with my family, I was sure I was 5'5 but I was wrong. (Some still insist I am taller than 5'6 lol.)

Birthday: Definitely a day, I've celebrated on here a few times so I'll say it, February 11th.

Time: 2:06

Fave band/artists: Uh, The Crane Wives, Fawn Woods, Florence + The Machine, and Mumford & Sons, I've been listening to them a lot/have listened to them a lot.

Last movie: Prey, it feels like I've watched another movie but I think it's because I've been watching a lot more shows recently.

Last show: Reservation Dogs, I know for sure because I asked my cousin if she watches it.

When I created this blog: 2018, my content has changed so much since then. Wow.

What I post: Brainrot. Everything I post is just brainrot.

Last thing I googled: Foods with electrolytes. I was comparing foods that are recommended for getting more electrolytes versus foods that are recommended for hydrating. Then I got distracted.

Other blogs: Ave-the-enby and Tomhollandsfandom which honestly, stick to this blog lol. It's where I'm actually active.

Do I get asks: Sometimes, but I am pretty bad at responding to them. I also just forget about them until much later.

Following: Hehe, no, they're mostly mutuals and I'm keeping my mutuals to myself. (I love you all very much.)

Average hours of sleep: At least one. Idk, we don't have to acknowledge that.

Instruments: I love playing the drums on my knees, but I'm definitely not a professional yet, it's more of a stim than anything. But it's a good one. I've actually gotten crowd participation before (younger siblings copying me)!

What I'm wearing: Tank top and jeans. And blanket because cozy.

Dream job: Writing, super shocking, no one could've guessed. I know, I should showcase my writing more since it's just so rare.

Dream trip: I don't have one.

Nationality: American unfortunately. (The name is unfortunate, being Indigenous to the land is not.)

Favorite songs: Little Lion Man, Nuestro Canción, No Light, No Light, Lonely Road, and Remember Me.

3 Fictional Universes I'd live in: I would never willingly live in any universes with my favorite characters, I'd be dead. And a lot of my favorites are dead in their universes so. You know what, the universe I built in my head for OCs I've never talked about but are so fucking cool, I'd live there. One day I need to ramble about them and their universe.

The hardest part of tag games, the tagging. I'm just gonna tag the first few people who pop in my head who I don't think have been tagged in this. No, I'm not stalling to tag, yes I am, I absolutely am.

@rewrite-the-story @lovedsammy @fae-and-night @raisinghellonstarbug @hanabi-09 @bathtub-rat @eruthiawenluin @birdgirl1772 @thequeenofsastiel

#This was fun #Even though I got distracted a lot doing this lol #That's just because I've been easily distracted all day #tag games

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a-master-procrastinator · 2 years

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Get to know the blogger

Tagged by @raven-of-domain-kwaad (thank you ♥)

1. Why did you choose your url?

Tbh I just wanted to change my previous url to something funny. I don't think current url is funny, but at least it's accurate (procrastination is probably the only thing I've mastered).

2. Any sideblogs?

Two: @local-star-wars-kinda-nerd (it's supposed to be my non-SWTOR blog, but I very inactive there, even if I have things to post), and @spacetagram (blog for my SW version of Instagram, but I'm also not posting often. Though I want to be more productive there. have anyone seen my motivation).

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Created account sometime in 2018, started posting somewhere mid-2019, so not for very long time.

4. Why did you originally start your blog?

My memory doesn't give me a certain answer, unfortunately (it was awkward at the beginning, so I guess my brain pushed memories away). Maybe because I've been seeing SWTOR blogs with their cool OCs and other SWTOR related posts, so I decided to share my SWTOR stuff.

5. Why did you choose your icon?

Because I'm sort of proud of that edit with Jett, plus she's basically main character here (but sometimes I change icons just because I want icon to match with new color schemes for blog).

6. Why did you choose your header?

Because I adore this commission from @palepinkycat ♥ (though I'll probably change sometime soon).

7. What is your post with the most notes?

This one

ofc it's a meme, I wouldn't expect anything else

8. How many mutuals do you have?

Tbh I'm still not sure who's considered a mutual (does it count even if we've never talked? or if we haven't interacted in months?), but I think there are more than 3, which is surprising, knowing that I can't maintain interactions well.

9. How many followers do you have?

215, wow (it's a lot to me). Some of them are inactive, but it's ok.

10. How many blogs do you follow?

101. Huh, I thought this number was higher.

11. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Some of my very first posts were shitposts (probably), so shitposting is the name of the game.

12. How many times do you use tumblr a day?

Uuhhhh... a lot. It's one of my 2 main social media now (the other is reddit), which probably says something about me, but these two are more comfortable for me.

13. Have you ever fought another blog?

People do that? Even so, I haven't because one of reasons why I moved to tumblr is avoiding constant fights and toxicity of Russian-speaking platforms, so I don't need that again tyvm.

14. How do you feel about “need to reblog” posts?

50/50. I don't mind them (because more often than not it's important), but I admit - I pretty much never reblog them (recent months aside, and even during that time I didn't it often). Mainly because I want to relax and not think about real world for some time.

15. Do you like tag games?

Y E S! I always get excited when I get tagged, and then passing it on (though thinking about who to tag is a struggle sometimes).

16. Do you like ask games?

Apply previous answer here.

17. Which of your mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?

Maybe no one, but how'd I even know?

18. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I don't have a crush on mutual, but I love you all ♥ (it makes sense in my head).

I don't know who hasn't been tagged yet, so leaving it open (also coz no energy to think, sorry).

#thanks for tagging me :) you gave me motivation to go back to posting #i don't know that much about tumblr is supposed to work. i'm just pretending that i do #so uh. what's a mutual #(kidding)#tagged

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kakyoins-cherry-wifey · 1 year

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SELFSHIP PROMO!

💕✨Hi, my dear friends and mutuals! Welcome to my selfship ask and art rp blog, make yourself at home! ✨💕

My name is Valeria, but feel free to address me as Leri or Lera (she/her), I'm 19 years old, ENFP, my zodiac sign is Gemini.

I randomly draw arts and do rp's with those willing, although I haven't been doing much of that lately due to studies and other circumstances. But if anyone wants to, let me know, I'll know and wait for our chance 🥰

And mostly the blog is not just about arts and rp, but more and just for communication (asks), for me to gushing, reblogging and more. I sometimes write anything when I have a lot of time and inspiration ✨

I have been hyperfixed on JoJo since autumn 2018, later joined the oc community in 2020 and then the selfship community a year later in 2021. It's my current fandom I'm in 💖

I'm very friendly and approachable, but can be impulsive and act a little weird because of my mental health issues, RSD, PTSD and something like that. I'm also super sensitive. Be patient please >.<

🍒My main biggest comfort f/o and my husband (the love of my life) is Noriaki Kakyoin🍒

I feel happier around him, especially in difficult times when he comforts me. I can talk about him for hours whenever I want, he still has a special place in my heart for a long time. I love my cherry boy 🥹💓❤️

Married: ♡30.05.2022♡

Selfship tag: LeriKak (tag symbol: 🌺🍒)

Other animes and fandoms I'm pretty familiar with:

Demon Slayer

Akatsuki no Yona

Gintama

Genshin Impact

Naruto

Bleach

Attack on Titan

Spy x Family

Pokémon

Don't talk to me:

♡ If you're racist, terf, map, ableist etc.;

♡ If you're ageless/pornbot/blank blog;

♡ If you think sending hate anons or death threats to me and my friends are okay;

♡ If you harrass people and suicide bait them telling "die", "kys" etc.;

♡ If you don't like my selfship and oc x canon content;

♡ If you think selfship and oc x canon shipping wars are ok;

♡ If you support incest and/or pedophilia;

♡ If you think Noriaki Kakyoin is MILF Hunter and sending unfunny donut jokes about him into my inbox is ok;

♡ If you think aging up characters are not okay.

(The post is promo. Reblogs are truly appreciated ❤️❤️❤️)

Wishing you all a good day and looking forward to our interactions with each other and fun, my lovelies! ✨💕💖

#hello hi #welcome #welcome to my blog #follow me #selfship promo #self promo #meet the mun #selfship community #self ship #self shipping #self shipper #intro post #f/o community #blog intro #intro #me and my f/o #fandom blog #community

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whatiwillsay · 3 years

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submission: we need to talk about ttb (spade-riddles)

Hey Cam. Seeing that ask defending TTB’s doxxing has sort of pushed me to finally share some of my story on Tumblr, I guess. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk about this to anyone fully, so this will probably be long, but I hope you don’t mind me venting.

I’m one of the people that got emailed by TTB. I don’t feel comfortable posting this off anon, but I was in a Discord server with you and @bisluthq and some other people back in Dec/Jan. I don’t know if you remember me, but my name on there was one word and began with an L and ended with an S.

I want to share the full story, but I also don’t feel comfortable with sharing certain details publicly because I’m still very wary of getting outed further by her if she sees this, so I’m gonna be vague about some things

Request to her followers — If you see this, please don’t send this to her. Like I’m genuinely asking you not to because I don’t trust her not to cross any more lines. My dad is a major homophobe with serious anger issues who has literally been arrested for violence before, and she doesn’t really think carefully or maybe even care about how any actions she takes could lead to people being harmed, so I’m not eager to see how she might react.

Anyway, I first got an email back in December, and I was really freaked out by it at first. I spoke to one of my mutuals about it, and although we both agreed it was super weird and invasive and creepy, we ended up trying to see the funny side of it. So, I kinda just brushed it off and moved on. I was mainly just really confused about why I had been targeted because at the time, I thought it was only me who’d gotten an email like that. I didn’t understand why she’d specifically targeted me instead of other people who she clearly disliked a lot more.

About a week later, I saw someone on Tumblr mentioning a strange email, and I realised other people must have gotten them too. I spoke to Nat about what happened to me and ended up in the Discord

At the time, I felt like I’d gotten off really easy comparatively to others because I initially didn’t realise that she’d contacted anyone else. And so I tried to act chill about it because I didn’t want to make things about me, but honestly, I was extremely anxious. I felt on edge for over a week. I would keep checking her blog again and again because I was super worried that she would post our personal details publicly. I scrolled through my entire blog from start to finish and deleted a lot of posts that were either personal or that I just didn’t want anyone I knew in real life to read.

This part I have to be vague about because it would basically give away who I am, but it was only a while later when I thought I was in the clear that someone I knew in real life texted me and mentioned seeing a weird email about me. The email had been sent a while back, and they’d been shown it by the original recipient/s. Multiple people had been shown it, but luckily (kinda), only two of those people were actually people I saw on a regular basis

I’m mostly closeted, but I’m kind of technically out to a few of my immediate family members. But it’s very much a DADT situation because they’re not accepting, and they like to just pretend I’m straight. And so I basically have to act closeted even when I’m around them, and I can’t even ALLUDE to being gay.

But with my dad, it’s different. He’s very homophobic. I’m only gonna mention this next part so that people understand what kind of dangerous situation that TTB could have put me in. (And the other people that she doxxed too because she didn’t know how safe their individual situations were). It’s all really personal, and I wouldn’t ordinarily feel comfortable sharing any of this at all, even anonymously, but I think it needs to be said because her actions were extremely fucking irresponsible.

Right, so when I first “came out” to my dad, it was actually an accident, and he reacted… extremely badly. This was back in like… 2018 or 2019, I can’t remember the exact year

(TW // physical abuse, homophobia)

He was extremely angry, literally shaking. He yelled at me, he described in graphic detail how he was going to “break every bone in my body”, “strangle the life out of me”, “drown me”, etc. He kept telling me that I’m disgusting and going to Hell, you get the idea. He was having a lot of fun with making strangling motions and stabbing motions with his hands, and he kept slamming his hand onto the table. That went on for about 15 minutes, and then he stood up and threw a chair from the dining table at me. That was fun lol. And he punched me in the head pretty hard which kinda knocked me back. I felt dizzy, I had to sit down on the floor. At that point, my mum who had been crying and asking him to stop physically intervened, and he ended up storming out of the house instead. My mum’s a genuinely good person btw. She’s a little homophobic, but she cares about me a lot, and I’m very grateful for her. She hates him too, but she’s kinda stuck with him… It wasn’t her fault

He literally hates gay people. He complains about us on the regular. One time, he threw the remote at the TV and cracked the screen just because there was a gay male couple kissing onscreen. Another time, he threw a rock at a gay man on the street. There was also a time where he forced a few of my siblings (who didn’t want to do it) to throw peeled oranges out of the window at people celebrating pride while he drove past them and yelled insults at them. He found that really funny. Anyway, I’m sure you guys get the idea of what kind of person he is

He hasn’t laid a hand on anybody in several months though, so I do think he’s trying to be better at least. Like he’s still verbally abusive and controlling and awful, but I appreciate that he’s at least making an effort to calm down with the hitting and kicking and stuff

Anyway, with my dad, it’s less DADT and more that I think he’s got it in his head that he managed to scare me into “seeing the error of my ways” and that I’ve “stopped choosing to be gay” and that I’m now straight. So, if it had been HIM who had gotten that email, it would’ve been like… extremely bad. Like I’m getting anxious just thinking about it. And this is why I’m so angry at TTB. It was extremely, extremely irresponsible of her to not consider these kinds of possibilities before she sent out her stupid emails. She’s supposed to be an ally, but it didn’t even cross her mind that these emails would lead to people being outed and possibly even harmed?? It’s not okay at all. I’m just very grateful that she didn’t send one to him because I don’t even know what kind of situation I would be in right now.

Anyway, enough about my fucking awful dad… I feel uncomfortable that I even typed all of that out, but I wanted people to understand how dangerous her actions could have been. Like I mean, my dad’s got PTSD and extreme anger issues from his teenage years, so I do try not to judge him TOO harshly, but there’s no excuse for being a huge bigot or occasionally violent. The idea of him being the one who got that email is still so scary to me. Like my heart is racing just thinking about it

One of the people that DID read the email was the male friend I mentioned earlier though. He was shown it by someone else for a particular reason, and he was a very important person to me. Like he was a good guy, we were close, he helped me out with certain personal issues I have and is one of only two people that I know in real life that I felt comfortable confiding in about them. We’d always meet up once a week, sometimes twice, and we’d just talk about stuff and make an effort to help each other out with things. Like he was very important to me.

It turns out that he’d looked through my blog before I’d got around to scrubbing it, and he asked me if I was gay in person the next time we met up. I couldn’t lie because like… he’d have known I was lying right to his face. So, I told him I was, and you should have seen his face. It made me feel so awful about myself. He looked really stunned and shocked and kinda uncomfortable. Like it got so awkward, and I started rambling and making things worse. He was avoiding eye contact, and my voice was shaking.

I ended up making up an excuse to leave about 5 mins later and had an actual anxiety attack. Again, this is embarrassing and something I’d never usually talk about online, but I just want to get it all off my chest so that I can move past it all.

So, I was like on the verge of tears (I don’t cry easily), I couldn’t breathe properly, I was pacing around the building, and I just wanted to escape, so I headed straight for the doors. There was a queue of about 100 people lined up and waiting to leave, and I couldn’t think straight or breathe and just needed to be outside, so I tried to go out through the other exit which is for staff only. The security guard stopped me and basically publicly humiliated me in front of all of those people. He loudly shamed me and said I “didn’t have any decency” for attempted to jump the queue, lectured me in this really condescending tone, and then sent me right to the back of that huge line. Meanwhile, I was literally in the midst of a bad anxiety attack.

And then I eventually got outside and had to call my mum to come and pick me up instead of just making my own way home like I usually do. She’s amazing though tbh because she actually came to get me and didn’t even question why. I had to skip all of my plans for the rest of the day and instead just hid upstairs in my bedroom with the lights off until the next day. I refused to tell any of my family members what had happened even though they kept asking. I just felt so, so awful, and my anxiety was through the roof

To be honest, before that happened, my mindset was like: “I mean, if I get outed, it obviously wouldn’t be good, but I think I’d be able to deal with it fine”. But then, when it actually happened, and I saw the way my close friend reacted, I had like a whole emotional breakdown lol. It’s like, you think you’d be fairly chill in a situation, but when it actually happens, your reaction can be really unpredictable. I was so embarrassed by everything about that entire incident. I didn’t even want to show my face the next day.

It’s been almost two months since that happened, and in that entire time, my friend has contacted me once. We literally used to meet up once or twice a week (and during lockdown, we’d do video calls or phone calls instead), but since then, we’ve barely even spoken. Things are just so awkward now. I know this sounds stupid, but I feel like TTB’s taken one of my best friends away from me. I don’t think he’s a homophobe or anything, he has openly gay friends and is fairly accepting, but I think it’s just the way that he found out that has just made things so weird between us now. I feel like if I’d had the chance to come out to him myself in my own way, he wouldn’t have reacted like that. But I’m gonna text him next week and see if we can maybe try to fix our friendship, but I doubt it at this point

The other people who were shown the email, I mostly just avoid. I don’t really care about them knowing that much because I wasn’t close to them, but it’s just really embarrassing knowing that they probably scrolled through my Tumblr blog before I scrubbed it

And about Tumblr… This used to be the only place that I could fully be myself. It was like a “safe space” for me which feels ironic now. But I haven’t been active on my blog since December. I still lurk occasionally, but I just don’t feel comfortable here anymore. I did consider deleting my current blog and starting afresh with a new one, but I don’t think it’d make much of a difference… Like she’s kind of ruined Tumblr for me. I do still enjoy reading people’s blogs every now and then, but I don’t feel relaxed here anymore, I just feel on edge.

It’s mainly the fact that SHE’S still here. She still has a platform, she still has a bunch of followers. It’s been so hard seeing her face next to no consequences whatsoever for the horrible things that she’s done to so many different people. And it upsets me that she hasn’t even acknowledged that what she did was wrong. Plus, it makes me feel even worse that the Hard Kay blogs and some other people are still supporting her and pretending that this whole thing just didn’t happen. Like do they just not care? Or is it that she’s twisted things and made them believe that the situation was different to what it actually was?

And tbh, this whole situation has even set me back in my own sort of personal self-acceptance journey. I had such bad internalised homophobia when I was younger, and it took me so many years to get to a place where I had mostly accepted myself. But now I just feel ashamed again, and I’ve gone back to my old habit of trying to force myself to be attracted to men. Like I downloaded Tinder the other day and set my preference to men and was swiping through profiles. It’s kinda silly actually. I did snap out of it and delete the app the next day though. But I don’t know, I feel like this whole thing has just kinda fucked with me a bit. I am trying to work this stuff out and get back to normal though. I think I’ll be good again in maybe a month or so, hopefully.

And… yeah. I just really resent her, and this situation upsets me. Because the reason she did this was so petty and ridiculous, and I guess she didn’t even realise how much it would impact people? Like I do know that my situation wasn’t as bad as some of the other people’s situations, and I feel really bad for them, and I hope they’re all doing okay. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for them. But it still has impacted me a lot more than I actually thought it would. I thought I’d get over it within a couple of weeks. But it’s been like two months, and I’m still not completely over it

I know it might not sound like a huge thing, but being outed really does affect you, even if it’s only to a few people. Because to me, I feel like I’ve had my sense of like, security and comfort taken away, and it’s kinda distressing. Sorry if I sound dramatic with any of this, I just really needed to say all of this stuff to other people besides myself lol

Like her actions have literally led to me being outed to a few people. A close friendship that I had has basically been ruined. I don’t feel comfortable or secure on Tumblr anymore, even though it used to be an important outlet for me. I’ve had a resurgence of anxiety about my sexuality. Etc.

And again, my dad is extremely homophobic and literally made death threats to me and physically attacked me back when I accidentally came out to him in 2018 or 2019. And if he had gotten that email, I don’t even know what would have happened. I don’t think he would have like… SERIOUSLY physically harmed me, but there would definitely have been a repeat of the first incident. More throwing chairs at me and hitting and screaming and death threats. I don’t really want to think about it.

It just bothers me that she didn’t even consider that? Like did it not even cross her mind? And my dad is bad, but I’m sure there are people in the fandom who have even worse parents, and she could have got one of those people instead. It’s just so… I don’t know, it’s just so frustrating to me.

Anyway, I just hate her for what she did… Like maybe I shouldn’t, but I really do resent her so much, and I don’t think I could forgive her even if she apologised to us all (which I don’t think she even would because she doesn’t seem to have any decency whatsoever). The least she could do is at least express some kind of remorse, but she just genuinely doesn’t care, and that’s super messed up. All over some stupid Tumblr blog that is much less important than she thinks it is.

But anyway… I apologise for the whole rant, and if anybody read all the way down to here, I appreciate it. I do actually feel a bit better now that I’ve got this all typed out. And I’m sorry for the oversharing lol, I usually don’t do this, but I just felt like I really needed to tell people and get it off my chest so that I can try to get over it — L

submisssion⬆️⬆️⬆️

ok L i am trying to remain calm here because this isn’t about me. but i am very emotional right now. i am so so so infinitely sorry that you had to go through this harrowing and terrifying experience. ttb (now blogging under spade-riddles) is absolutely disgusting, lower than dirt, that she would put your life, safety, and well-being at risk over a fucking kaylor blog.

please please please im me or get in touch somehow because i want to offer you support. have you been financially impacted by this? we can raise money. do you need therapy? we can help you find the support you need. this community is unequivocally here for you. whatever you need, if it’s in my power to help you get it, i will. you have my solemn promise on that.

i am so deeply and desperately sorry that you have gone through this. i was shaking while reading your story.

i am in touch with other people and we are in discussion about the best way to let tumblr know what happened. this will be a safe space for you (and all of us) again if it’s the last thing i do. this community is 100% here for you in any way we can help, sending you all the support and love we have.

#submission #tw: abuse #tw: homophobia

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sun-pluto · 2 years

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tagged by @ceyrann ty ♥️ this one looks very fun so >:D

Edit: original tag game by @nikolaiiy (sorry forgot to mention!!! 😓)

Why did you choose your url?

because it has a few meanings for me. 1) can be read as ‘sun to pluto’ bc i want all the planets in the url HAHA 2) one of my tightest aspects is sun sextile pluto 3) the sun and pluto contrast each other a lot and I just think that’s neat to put them together and connect them.

Any side blogs?

No, I have 2 accounts. One old one for aes, this blog is new and exclusively for astro/tarot.

How long have you been on Tumblr?

Since 2015. But I only got into astro in 2018.

Do you have a queue tag?

Nah, no need for it.

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Honestly because I wanted to share what I learnt from astro and discuss it with people who were interested in it too! Also it was kind of in the moment and as a hobby.

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I took the photo of the sunset, and I just thought it fits the theme and url. Plus there’s dark and light contrast! So yeah it fit c:

Why did you choose your header?

I also took the video and made it into a gif because I found it pretty!!! It was raining in the nature reserve when I videoed the hill under the shelter, super soothing to me so I put it as the header.

What post is your post with the most notes?

I don’t remember and idrc enough to check.

How many mutuals do you have?

about 80. they’re aes and/or astro/tarot blogs but sometimes we’re mutuals just because we vibe tgt HAHA

How many followers do you have?

yeah this is going to be a secret for now because I have something I wanna do >:D

How many people do you follow?

103.

Have you ever made a shitpost?

Yeah, lots. it’s under #talking BFJFJF and I shitpost even more on my aes blog.

How often do you use Tumblr a day?

Oh boy basically every day but only a few minutes tbh unless I’m replying to people or reblogging! then that could take up to 2-3 hours. Mostly though Im rarely on any social platform because Im busy ;-;

Did you have another fight/argument with another blog?

Lol yes. On my aes blog too. Libra rising who 😭

How do you feel about the “you-need-to-reblog” post?

when it’s an important issue then yeah sure i’ll rb. Besides that if it’s about being cursed or having good luck or something inane that only tumblr ppl can relate to then idgaf.

Do you like tag games?

Normally yes! But sometimes it gets repetitive so I just like and thank the person who tags me but move on yknow? it’s nbd sometimes.

Do you like ask games?

Yup!!! I’m normally the one sliding into ppl’s asks asking them though HAHAHAHAHA

Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

I find this question very funny. As if they don’t know it themselves LOL.

Do you have a Tumblr crush?

Also a very funny qn imo. I don’t invest enough energy into someone’s blog enough to have a crush, but I can like ppl’s vibes on sight very very much. It’s an intuition thing >;)

I’m tagging @kkoumiii @neptuniant @faiirina @ukiyowi @fallign @umepnnn @rattaemin @thegeminigod @the-wild-candy and anyone who wants to do this! I find these very fun HAHA

#m #talking #tag games

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pigstepmp3-moved · 3 years

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holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡ JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney

#hehe idk how to tag this #ive spent SO long on this post im so glad its done #follow forever #eden.txt

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essercipertuttienonperse · 3 years

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check in tag <3

@harrystinyshorts and @aliensyndrome (I think but I can't find the post sjfj) tagged me in this! thank you loves! 💕

why did you choose your url?

this was the first thing that came to my mind when I first installed the app in 2015 (I think?) and it was a bit of a broody 15yo move ngl (it means: 'being there for everyone but not for myself' so basically that I felt like I had no real friends djgjh ) but also bc the alliteration sounds funny in italian

any side blog?

used to have one but i haven't been there in like 6 months bc It was too much work 😔 but I'm gonna try to resuscitate it this summer I think (@tomlinsonhaircuts)