#this blog was just meant to be fandom stuff wuh oh

[silvverhand]

sometimes I’m like “I should open up” and then my brain is like “here are 5000 examples of what has happened when you’ve done that” and I go “mmm yeah never mind”

#if I have learned anything it is that I cannot fucking talk about my feelings because inevitably it’s the Wrong Choice #growing up I couldn’t do it cause I was the good kid who never complained and took care of herself #and my brothers were dicks about it anytime I tried to talk to them about stuff #and multiple friends over the years have just been like Yeah Lock That Up when I’ve tried #I was already afraid of it and then like my best friend at 18??? told me when she sent me a fuckin email about how she like #liked her life without me in it #that I talk about my feelings too much #and honestly if 2020 has cemented anything in my mind it’s that I cannot talk about my feelings #not sober anyway #but even when I’m drunk lmao it’s like 🥴 nobody cares homie stfu this is a You Problem #anytime I think maybe I’ll share something my brain goes oh hey remember this??? #and reminds me that someone told me ‘there’s nothing good I can say to this’ when I was really drunk and just wanted to vent #I don’t even know who it was cause I wiped my texts immediately and I was too drunk to remember who said it the next day but Ha Ha #that sure stuck #this blog was just meant to be fandom stuff wuh oh #sorry fellas #personal