#this burns me up. to think that the way out of oppression is to identify a group that you think should be oppressed instead

[writingforatwistedworld]

Hey there! So I've been wondering for awhile about the selfaware au,(i hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable if it does feel free to delete this request!) For diasomnia(particularly malleus and lilia) what would happen if fem! player gets pregnant?, Assuming that they're already at the wedded stage where the player is trapped in their respective house/palace and is married to them, how would they react to the news? Would they see the child as an extension of the overseer? Someone to also worship? Especially if the player married malleus and became the queen of briar valley their child being the heir, but what if it's lilia who's a former war general? On another note how would the faes in briar valley view the overseer's marriage if it was silver? Would there be like a sort glory to being the overseer's spouse and if so, is it right to assume that any noble house that marries the overseer would receive prestige? Overall how it could and would affect the hierarchy of the valley if the overseer were to marry and have a child with anyone from briar valley. I'm just really interested in the whole world building this au is capable of! I hope that this interests you and that i worded that properly! Thank you very much! Have a great day!

Since you seem mostly interested in Malleus, Lilia and Silver I will be writing for them. Please don't forget that my request limit are three characters.

Also, this will be gender neutral since you can have children even if you say you don't have a gender or identify as a male. You just need the working organ. (Also, I am no doctor of something like that)

Self-aware au

All of the written characters are aged up and at least eighteen years old!!!

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, pregnancy, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, religion, imprisonment, murder, death, obsession, possessiveness

Malleus Draconia/Lilia Vanrouge/Silver-Player gets pregnant (gn reader)

There you are, the greatest grace, the highest being, GOD THEMSELVES

Puking into the toilet

Usually Malleus would raise more of a fit if something like this happened but he knows what is going on

In fact, the entire Valley knows what is going on

And do believe me, my dear Overseer, they have gone from “let’s-imprison-them-out-of-love” to “they-aren’t-even-allowed-to-bathe-alone”

I have to admit,no matter how luxurious your lifestyle is, it’s very oppressing and stressful

Jokes on them because they want to avoid stress as much as possible

But how did this even start?

With Malleus fainting and hitting his head against the desk behind him (yes, it hurt him)

Ok need more info? Well then how about him nearly burning a forest down because he was a bit “too happy”

Also, there are suddenly way more guards in the castle

To his defense, he is having a child with God so...

Be ready to be hailed to death... figurative

There is a new temple build just for them, and a lot of prayer created, and statues carved, and you are more or less the subject of every singe discussion....

Wait... that last one is nothing new

But at least you are absolutely safe. Maybe a bit too safe.... that guard once looked at you and lost his head you know....

Oh wow.... you are in on a ride...

You know these huge families in which every single one of them is super hyped if one member is pregnant, treat them like they are made out of paper thin glass and think that their pregnant member can step on other pregnant people because duh

That's Lilia... not you and Lilia

Not Lilia and the entire Valley

Lilia alone

You won't be leaving that chair you are sitting on for an entire year

A year? But doesn't a pregnancy last nine months?

Well yeah but be is saying that “your body is exhausted and needs to recover”.... three months...

Also, Lilia mind is still from a time long ago so I wouldn't be surprised if he knows at the beginning more superstitions about pregnancies than actual facts

All the things, “a girl steals her parents beauty”, “you have morning sickness if you have a girl”, “the babies eyes are burned if you eat spicy stuff”, “cutting your hair could lead to the child having bad vision”, “you can only have children on a full moon”, ...

So be prepared to bear screams if you do completely normal things (sometimes, not always)

You have to plead to him to look up modern medical knowledge about pregnancies

He is somewhat bearable after that but I hope no one dares to visit especially now (except Malleus, Silver and Sebek of course)

Suddenly he is more like a card soldier than a general of the Thorn Valley

“Off with their head” and all of that you know....

Now, a human, I repeat, a human, somehow managed to make the Overseer fancy them

Gasps and sounds of fae fainting all over the place

If your significant other (or your kidnapper which is more realistic if we are being honest) would be a fae that would already have given them more power over the Valley than the Draconias could ever dream of having

Now imagine what new level of power a human would gain over the faes because of this

Non. You are correct

In fact, if you want Silver to be alive (or rather those who dare to threaten your harmonic relationship) then you should probably make it clear that everything is how you want it to be

You are not forced to be married to him! This is what you want! Not!!!

You totally aren't imprisoned! You just didn't like the outside! Not!!!

Everything is fine!

Despite being the youngest of them (by centuries) o do believe that he would be a pretty good father and also understand very well how pregnancies work

He was taught in school how it works, he had a happy childhood. What could he miss for a happy family?

Ok maybe you aren't here because you want to but what a happy pair you are on the photos!

Your eyes aren't glassy on them! Not at all! They are

The only wish he wouldn't fulfill is allowing you to leave

Why would you want to do that??! Have took care of everything!!! Don't leave him!

In the end he is the one who unlike the other two can be overpowered (even of the possibility is very slim) so he has to try... other means to make you stay

Don't worry dear! The potion doesn't harm the child. It just paralyzes your legs forever

#yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twst x reader #yandere malleus #yandere malleus x reader #yandere malleus draconia #yandere lilia #yandere lilia x reader #yandere lilia vanrouge #yandere silver x reader #yandere silver #self aware au #tw: pregnancy #tw: forced marriage #tw: forced pregnancy #tw: religion #tw: imprisonment #tw: murder #tw: death #tw: obsession #tw: possessiveness #tw: yandere

[macksting]

continued Rambling Infodump about El Goonish Shive

So it appears the problem was sheer length.

This person who can hardly think about himself without thinking himself monstrous and harmful, and he tries so hard on behalf of others. Elliot Dunkel is basically Sailor Jupiter with less romantic ambition. And Susan! Standing up for something when nobody else does, and in fact it draws ridicule and hatred, is such a horrible and lonely sensation! When nearly everybody abandoned her at once, afraid of being near the lightning rod, and she was left in despair, it's easy to see why she was looking at other schools. She holds her aim too long! Multiple times in the comic she's had a situation where she might have had something if she hadn't hesitated, hadn't stopped to examine it, but it's who she is. She wants to go in with eyes open, resolute, and on firm ground, and life does not wait for that! One can both come to terms with that and yet still curse it when some opportunity slips away because one was unable to act without turning it over again and again to make certain of what one is seeing, to make certain of what one wants. When she looked down at the counter of her video store job, the art very competently portrayed that distress that broke through when she returned to the locker. It was that one last straw, that one more thing. Honestly, if this is her response to change, Dan is in a slightly awkward position because that brings up questions about Susan and autism which are largely answerable as "maybe I should stop prying about one of many characters who Dan identifies with strongly in regards to her potential for an autism diagnosis because it feels rude and weird." Susan is one of the most interesting, fully realized characters I have ever read. Watching her grow from straw feminist to be this nuanced, brilliant character without actually losing any of that fire or wrath at injustice, that concern for the oppressed, was an incredible ride. I only started reading in 2018, so it was 16 years gone by in a couple months of fairly dedicated reading, and I cried and I cried. Even now, many scenes are absolute cry buttons for me. Ellen's "humor me" can wreck my composure most days. Susan's "I want to hang out more." Ashley falling apart at the second party when Nanase talks about the painful ways secrecy burns and scars and drives people apart. Liz's expression when Ashley can't talk to her. Susan's rage and the fire in her eyes as she slams the school doors open, knowing she's in this alone. There's so much. Every time I reread it, it etches itself deeper. When I first started reading it, I had only recently discovered I was not a man. I was in my mid-30s and did not know what I was to become, and while logically I knew that was reasonable, it was still a little terrifying to be so rudderless. What I first took for aestivation had proven to be metamorphosis, and I was not comfortable with the slurry I had become in that chrysalis. By the time I caught up on EGS, I knew at the least that I was not as comfortable with he/him pronouns as I had thought I was. Whatever and whoever I was, I needed to move on from that. It was scary, but it was worth it.

#elliot dunkel #elliot egs #egs #egscomics #el goonish shive #infodump #webcomics #webcomic #my cruft

[jasper-pagan-witch]

An Itemized List of My Correspondence Books

If you've had the misfortune of asking me about my sources, you've gotten the answer of "I don't actually RECOMMEND the books I use." And that's because, with the SOLE exception of Bree NicGarran's correspondence tables in Grovedaughter Witchery, most of these books are full of SUS MATERIAL. We've got "#girlboss Lilith", we've got "general misinformation", we have "no respect for anyone's cultures", we have "historical inaccuracy for the sake of sounding more oppressed", and we even have CHAKRA APPROPRIATION in every single goddamn crystal book I've found. I hate most of the books here with a burning passion, but I'm a sucker for a detailed correspondence list for things, so I use them anyway. So at the end of the day, I am a clown and here is an alphabetized list of my clown shoes.

Charms & Symbols: How to Weave the Power of Ancient Signs and Marks Into Modern Life. Author: Alison Davies. Publisher: Octopus Publishing Group. Additional notes: I don't think I've ever actually referred to this book yet. I've also made a point to go through and write down which symbols are attributed to, you know, groups I can actually learn from, not from closed cultures or religions.

Crystal Prescriptions: The A-Z guide to over 1,200 symptoms and their healing crystals. Author: Judy Hall. Publisher: John Hunt Publishing. Additional notes: Again, I don't think I've ever referred to this book. I don't even believe in healing physical ailments with crystals. Why is this here?

Elements of Witchcraft series. Authors: Astrea Taylor; Dodie Graham McKay; Josephine Winter; Lilith Dorsey. Publisher: Llewellyn. Individual titles: Air Magic; Earth Magic; Fire Magic; Water Magic. Additional notes: These are for the elemental correspondences of specific things, but...again, I don't really use these for the parts where it talks about spells or magical theory or deities.

Plant Witchery: Discover the Sacred Language, Wisdom, and Magic of 200 Plants. Author: Juliet Diaz. Publisher: Hay House. Additional notes: This book came highly recommended to me. I don't care much for the gendering of the reader AND every plant with she/her pronouns. It bothers me, but not enough to dock points. I just wish that some of the more common-in-a-mundane-way plants (such as daylilies) got a bit of a shout-out, but I'm not gonna twitch my nose too hard about it.

Symbols of the Occult: A Directory of over 500 Signs, Symbols and Icons. Author: Eric Chaline. Publishers: Thames & Hudson and Quarto Publishing. Additional notes: Boy do I have OPINIONS on this book and it's that the book is trash, but unfortunately, I am a visual searcher so I need physical depictions of the symbols I'm looking for, and thus I have this. It gets one point back for being very aesthetically pleasing to look at on the outside, which is how I usually regard it.

The Ancient Magick of Trees: Identify & Use Trees in Your Spiritual & Magickal Practice. Author: Gregory Michael Brewer. Publisher: Llewellyn. Additional notes: I've legit never read the non-correspondences parts of this book. I got it literally just because it talks about some American-only trees and other tree books don't. I don't trust it to be well-researched, but at least it's not trying to poison you.

The Astrology Bible: The Definitive Guide to the Zodiac. Author: Judy Hall. Publisher: Sterling Publishing Co. Additional notes: I use these to find what plants and stones and whatnot line up with what zodiac signs and planets.

The Crystal Zodiac: use birthstones to enhance your life. Author: Judy Hall. Publisher: Godsfield Press. Additional notes: Do you see a pattern of me only using Judy Hall's books for correspondences for stones or zodiac signs? I'm just lucky that I haven't had to spend a dime on them, my mom already had these in her collection.

The Encyclopedia of Crystals. Author: Judy Hall. Publishers: Octopus Publishing and Fair Winds Press. Additional notes: See literally the entry right above this one. Again, mostly for crystal identification and correspondences.

The Encyclopedia of Magickal Ingredients: A Wiccan Guide to Spellcasting. Author: Lexa Rosean. Publisher: Simon & Schuster. Additional notes: Ignoring both that this book is from 2005 AND that it's Wiccan-based, it's a hot steaming pile of garbage. There's no indication in most entries about whether a deity or a planet of the same name is being talked about, non-deities are listed in the "ruler" sections, and there is so much appropriation and whatnot in here. Damn. If I was Wiccan, I'd feel ashamed that this book is Wiccan too.

Tree Magic: Connecting with the Spirit & Wisdom of Trees. Author: Sandra Kynes. Publisher: Llewellyn. Additional notes: Like with The Ancient Magick of Trees, I've never read the non-correspondences part of this book. Knowing Llewellyn, it'll be the exact same in both books.

#jasper post #personal #books #jasper's bookshelf #the jasper way

[opinated-user]

the thing that bothers me most about lily is that she Admits she doesn't experience anti native discrimination... until she decides that she does

she admits she's white passing, assimilated, and has no visible connections to the tribe. but also if she was murdered it would totally be marked down as "yet another murdered indigenous woman"

like. personally i'm in a somewhat similar position to lily (of native descent (i think of the same distance she is?), interested in the culture, but extremely white and with no current connection to the tribes im descended from other than an academic one) and you would Never catch me having the Audacity to claim that the police would treat my death the way they treat actual registered or non white native peoples. you don't get to acknowledge you're white and then pretend that's somehow entirely irrelevant to how you go through life just because you're of native descent

i think you have articulated perfectly well why i keep bringing up that issue on my blog, anon, and why i think it's important to talk about it as another facet of LO's hypocresy, on top of her casual racism. LO wants to seem like she's being respectful by admitting to have a lot more privileges that other Native people, but she only understands a "native identity" through oppression and racism, so in order to validate that identity she feels the need to claim struggles she admitted two seconds ago doesn't actually have. if she doesn't get to claim those struggles and therefore be more "interesting" than boring white people, she doesn't see the point of identifying that way at all. it's all about her ego, nothing else, nothing more, and whatever she feels is more convenient to her good image at any given point. especially important i think is this difference between you and LO.

interested in the culture

LO doesn't have any genuine interest on the culture. she has interest on the "aesthetics", on some jewelry, on burning sage and decorations but sees nothing of value beyond that point. she sees Cherokee culture as a flee market where she gets to grab whatever appeals to her visually and then put it on herself to fully realize her brownface sexual fantasy. that's not respect, appreciation or love. that's fetishization, clear and simple. if you want to find out about the culture of your ancestors, their history and their costums, then you already did a million times better than LO and you shouldn't compare yourself to her at all.

#lily orchard #lily orchard is brownfacing #lily orchard is racist

[josiebelladonna]

“our families can either make or break us.

They can inspire, support, and uplift us. Indeed, our families can be a second womb, hearth, or safe space in which we grow and transform. On the other hand, they can demoralize, oppress, and smother us. Depending on where you are on the family spectrum, you’ll be a relatively well-adjusted individual or a person plagued with problems.

Our experience of ‘family’ forms a large part of the foundation of our self-worth, feelings of belonging, and psychological/emotional well-being as adults.

[…]

The “black sheep of the family” is a term that refers to a family member who is considered peculiar, strange, unconventional, eccentric, or not aligned with the family’s persona and values. Sometimes “black sheep” has strong negative connotations as it can be used to refer to a person who is considered a “misfit,” criminal, addict, or overall troublemaker.”

(i was never considered a troublemaker, but i do get this feeling that they think of me as a criminal and an addict—even though the worst drug i’ve ever done is aspirin and i literally hate the taste of alcohol)

[…]

On top of being considered weird, black sheep are often scapegoated and blamed for the majority of a family’s problems. This tendency to scapegoat is known in psychology as the “Identified Patient.“

The “Identified Patient” or IP, was a term that emerged in the 1950s to describe the actions of sick and dysfunctional families and their tendency to assign one person in the family as a scapegoat to their problems.

Essentially, the Identified Patient is said to be a way that families avoid their own internal pain, disappointments, and struggles, by pointing the finger at another family member as the cause for all the problems they experience.

If you were the Identified Patient in your family, you were most likely chosen as the “trouble maker” or “problem child” due to your status within the family (e.g., young, naive and abusable, or older, headstrong and threatening), or your differing Soul Age and personality, which drew attention to your contrasting likes, tastes, and habits. Naturally, these qualities placed a big bullseye on your head and were used against you throughout your life. (!!!!!!!)

Symptoms that you were chosen as the Identified Patient of your family include the following:

Your parents were more strict with you than they were with your other siblings (my mom, not really, but i remember my dad treated me very differently from my brother and i don’t think gender has to do with it. although my parents didn’t give me the proper send-off to college like they did with my brother, like i remember his going off to school was an all-day affair. me? i moved away to college alone. i had the help of my aunt, but it wasn’t this all-day thing, though. my dad dropped me off at the train station and i went up to oregon by myself, two weeks after my grandmother’s and my uncle’s houses nearly burned down, two months after my brother and sis-in-law basically dismissed the trauma i felt with my parents splitting, and four months after my parents split)

Your mistakes were blown out of proportion and/or punished disproportionately (to the point i’m almost shell shocked; all you people who approach me with “sorry to bother you” can stuff your sorries in a sack, tbh)

You always carried the feeling that you “didn’t fit in” with your family, and you didn’t develop strong connections with them (to the point it almost feels like they all hate(d) me)

You were mocked, ridiculed, and/or made fun of on a constant basis (not a day would go by when i wouldn’t hear “we’re just joking! where’s your sense of humor?”)

Your family seemed intent on making you feel “deficient” and as though you were always fundamentally lacking (especially from my extended family, and especially the case after my grandpa passed)

Whenever you got stronger, more confident, or happier, your family seemed intent on bringing you down and/or convincing you that you weren’t getting any better (or they would compare me to my cousin in some way. also, look no further than my baking: my chocolate cake? barely impressed. my rye bread? my dad’s literal reaction was “what about it”. absolutely no right to tell me i need to “exude confidence” for anything after that.)

You developed mental and/or emotional disorders, and/or substance abuse problems as a result of being scapegoated and overburdened (anxiety, depression, and anorexia, any questions?)

Your family didn’t show any interest in who you really were as a person (none. whatsoever. they all seem to believe that “what you see is what you get” with me when that’s complete bullshit. a few years back, my dad once told me that he wants me “to grow” all because i don’t have a steady income when i’m searching for something better than that… no, you want me to be what you want me to be)

You were criticized, completely ignored, and/or emotionally manipulated if you rebelled in any way (without fail)

It’s important to note that families who assign scapegoats or Identified Patients often go to great measures to keep the member of the family they’ve unconsciously chosen that way, otherwise, they are forced to face their own inadequacies. 

So if you’re stuck in a pull-tug relationship with your family where they treat you like crap, but cry and mope when you back away, this is why.

If you’re still wondering whether you’re the black sheep of the family, let’s zoom in even more. Pay attention to the following signs – how many can you relate to?

You are blamed for most of your family’s issues (whether directly or indirectly) (definitely indirectly, like no one ever said it but i could sense it)

You feel like most of your family members completely misunderstand you (two words: fall 2015. i still can’t get a word in without it being blown out of proportion)

You’re left out of the loop on your family’s news (AND HOW! i never know what the hell’s going on until well after the fact)

You’re not invited to gatherings, celebrations, etc. (and how)

You don’t have much in common with any of your family members in terms of likes, tastes, and preferences (i’m an artist who’s into sci-fi, fantasy, horror, erotica, and cartoons, i like heavy metal and dark music, i like weirder music, i like to bake, i like meteorology, i like learning new languages for the fun of it; i’m a sporty tomboy who’s into stuff like baseball, swimming, and archery; i’m dramatic, i’m passionate, i’m sensual, i’m romantic; the people whom i find attractive would make these people shit themselves…)

You struggle to emotionally or mentally connect with your family members (again, fall 2015. i said i just wanted to spend some time away to think about life for a bit. i still don’t understand how this translated to “i’m in trouble with everything”. nor do i understand the verbal abuse i sustained when i tried to clarify it all)

You’re made fun of, belittled, shamed, or bullied (either directly or indirectly) (all of these things, both directly and indirectly)

You often feel like you’re adopted or were raised in the wrong family (i remember thinking this as young as 5 years old, like “am i adopted?”)

You’re a contrarian or eccentric individualist by nature (i.e., you know who you are and what you stand for) (if the fact that i can’t get anywhere in life is anything to go by, i definitely am)

The pain of being rejected, scorned, and even flat-out disowned cuts deep to the core. 

As a person who is the black sheep of my birth family, I know how terribly lonely being a black sheep is. All of the following wounds I’ve personally experienced and learned to deal with throughout time. 

Here are the main mental and emotional wounds you may develop/experience:

You feel alone in life (yes)

You struggle to relate to other people (yes…)

It’s extremely difficult to trust people in relationships, friendships, work situations, etc. (fffff, yes)

Trusting yourself and your instincts is hard, so you often feel lost(and without an inner compass) (i’m in the bermuda triangle and if i look down, i’ll drown)

Emotional commitment is scary and triggering (it’s terrifying, tbh)

You carry big and oppressive core beliefs such as “I’m not good enough” and “There’s something wrong with me“ (constantly :( )

Deep down, you feel that if someone truly got to know you, they wouldn’t like you anymore (i feel this way all the time)

You feel fundamentally unlovable (…this, too)

You’re either overly dependent on your friends for emotional validation or you prefer to go solo and bypass friendship altogether (as a loner) (the green druidess has got another thing coming)

Social anxiety is a regular issue you battle (for reeeeeeeal…)

Your life feels like one big existential crisis (yeah, i can’t stand these fucking bloggers who are like “I’m constantly having a midlife crisis!” like stfu, you don’t know what you’re talking about)

You grapple with depressive and/or addictive tendencies (addictive personality but i’m this side of a teetotaler, though)

This list isn’t exhaustive, but I hope I’ve painted a clear picture. 

Being the black sheep of the family ain’t no ‘walk in the park.’ It’s traumatizing and destabilizing. But you’re certainly not alone, and this experience isn’t a curse, it’s a pathway.

Certainly, it’s crucial that we come to terms with how traumatizing being the black sheep is – we need to mourn this fact.

But I also want to offer a unique perspective on being the black sheep of the family. 

It’s a tremendously important pathway to spiritual transformation.

Why?

When we are rejected by our birth family, we are given a gift many others in life aren’t: the doorway to unfettered freedom. While others who are embraced by their families still need to play by certain rules, black sheep have the chance to walk their own paths.

While accepted-family-members might benefit from being validated, they also tend to be trapped in limiting roles that make it difficult for authentic Soul growth and expression to occur.

Black sheep, on the other hand, have a clean slate. The doorway to trailblazing their own destiny is open, they aren’t held back by other’s opinions because the judgment has already been made: they are rejects, oddballs, and outsiders.

Sure, there are cases of perfect families who lovingly uphold the dreams and aspirations of their members. But these instances are the exception, not the rule. The truth is that most families are dysfunctional – they are products of our wider fragmented society. And thus, they tend to have a stifling effect on one’s spiritual path and evolution.

As a black sheep, you are gifted with the chance to do some authentic soul searching, free from the suffocating confines of your family’s expectations and desires. You have already been cast in the role of Distaste and Disappointment. There’s not much else your birth family can do to harm you – the wound has already been inflicted. Now, your job is to break free and find your true meaning in life.”

—lonerwolf

#she pretty much described me to a t #black sheep #text #personal

[cascadianights]

Something I've been thinking about a lot and don't have the words for yet is... the way many leftist spaces are really quick to either 1) list all aspects of their identity as proof they can be talking on this subject (therefore if you do not ESPECIALLY if someone disagrees w you you are by default assumed NOT part of the group speaking out and over it) and 2) in the lack of those identifiers assume privilege.

Not just in the terms of "I disagree so you must be outside this group/not have this apply to you" but also in terms of the thin slice decision based on a profile picture or an intro of how oppressed you must be (not) and how much privilege you carry (assumably all of it). And the way that interacts with my whiteness and any trace of femininity I can't squash because people see a picture of me and come up with a story (str8 yt probably cis girl from Large City California and Money) and that story is inherently at odds with almost all parts of my identity ESPECIALLY the ones I'm struggling with most in terms of them being visual.

The real world does not doubt my poverty as I walk through the store with holes full of clothes and a tennis shoe half flopping off at the bottom. The bullies in school never doubted my queerness or the way my looks othered me - my thick eyebrows my thick, dark body and chest hair on top of large breasts sagging against a dollar store sports bra. The people in public may doubt my disability, until I start rocking back and forth and pinning my ears bc the lights and screens and dance music at the tmobile store is Too Much or I faint mid conversation and wake up confused and bruised. My being trans is easy to overlook some days, completely at odds with everything about me another. My being assumed to be a str8 cis woman burns in my veins and gut like poison. My skin is pale and white and that means I've never faced racism, but it also means that when my dad tried to explain how important his native ancestry was to him and how his father (long dead by the time I was born) and grandmother (actually native) cared so much about it and it was his connection to them, I basically told him we couldn't be native because we are white and destroyed most of the things he gave me related to that bc I was taught that anyone who looked white pretending to be native was a liar and a colonizer, and it took me until I was TWENTY EIGHT listening to a native activist talk about how those ('liberal leftist') ideas were based in and perpetuating blood quantums set by the government and the idea that we just needed to breed the Indian out of the man by diluting it and teaching the next generation to ignore and walk away from it and my entire worldview on a part of my identity and how Id internalized how I was meant to view it cracked and I still haven't figured out how to renegotiate that or the way I treated that ancestor and all the ancestors of hers by internalizing those beliefs, or the way that poverty means most of my family died young or in abusive relationships and I have DESPERATELY little to go off in terms of family stories or traditions or knowledge or trees farther back than my great grandparents. Every woman in my family as far back as I know married an abusive man, and at least one was killed by her husband! Some of my family came from Ireland and Scotland as refugees, hundreds of years back, and just stayed in the north until abuse and poverty chased them south. My family tree is one of unspoken mental illness and autism that gets talked around, one of poverty, one of abusive men and strong women fighting to survive.

And anyways none of that can be put into an intro section or summarized into neat lines and boxes of identity and my whiteness is inherently entrenched in generations of poverty and refugees and questions of identity and the way my femininity is seen as amplified no matter what I do, and that part of me being seen as the Exact Same in a conversation or quick slice judgement as a Berkeley blue eyed white woman whose family owns a house in the hills and has 300 generations back of middle-upper class wasps (this is about a real person and I can name 3 similar ones off the top of my head) feels so wrong and debilitating and undermining and invalidating and without a doubt almost always Additionally poses me as str8 and cis and then I am told passing as such is a privilege when every part of my being is screaming to be seen as my actual self or as some more realistic version of my actual self or at least not as some immediately discarded Karen talking about shit I know nothing about instead of a disabled queer person who grew up in poverty left my home state and family as an early political and climate refugee and has spent years engaged in real world activism

#this goes so many places #the struggle to decide my identity for myslef is hard enough nevermind finding ways that identity can bring me joy or belonging #on a severe budget #the struggle to decide where you belong what youre x enough for to discern whst that means for you and how its all hard as hell #without the immediate assumption that if a white bitch is speaking all other nuance and parts of myself die and are silent #without the immediate assumption and then ACTING on that assumption that I am not Other enough to be part of this Other #plus i hate being assumed a straight cis woman i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it #i hate the idea that you can only speak on an issue if youve made it clear in 3 ways what Right you have to speak on it #queer #i just hate assumptions idk theyre always wrong about my queer disabled but walking around ass and it hurts on every single level #and its worse online for sure for sure but it happens sometimes too elsewhere #the default should not be you disagree w me so youre obviously not my type of Other #therefore you have Only privilege and no nuance in the way thst relates to your multiple overlapping identities

[nonbinaryproblems]

Feminism: Not Just For Lesbians, Hippies, Manhaters, Feminazis, and Angry Women

I was a freshman in high school when Trump won the presidential election and Obama left office and I remember very vividly how two girls from my English class reacted. They wrote “Obama” on their foreheads. Needless to say, the overall reaction wasn’t all that positive because 14 year olds are mean. And despite being a little bit judgemental - because I’m not excluding myself from the mean 14 year old description - I remember being really impressed. Because as much as I claimed to be a feminist, I was still more concerned about what people thought of me than what I thought of myself. I compromised on too many of my own values so that I could earn the respect - if you could even call it that - of my peers. I was already the first person in my grade to come out as loudly as I did, I didn’t want to give them anymore ammunition against me. bell hooks (2000) writes in her piece “Feminism is for Everybody”, “they find it easier to passively support male domination even when they know in their minds and hearts that it is wrong” (p. xiv). Feminism doesn’t always have to mean writing Obama on my forehead, but it does mean standing up for what’s right and I feel like I missed out on a lot of opportunities to do that growing up. This just goes to show that no one is immune to biases. I’m a nonbinary queer person and even I was afraid of identifying as a feminist because I knew the shame that came with that word. I like to think that I’ve grown as a person since then, and I know I’m growing each and every day. I just hope that I’ve done enough to make up for the way 14 year old Lisa let things slide.

For so many people, I feel like their issue with feminism comes from a place of misunderstanding rather than a place of sexism. They’re not malicious in their hatred of the word, they simply don’t understand what it really means. hooks (2000) says, “I believe that if they knew more about feminism they would no longer fear it, for they would find in feminist movement the hope of their own release from the bondage of patriarchy” (p. xiii). When you grow up in our world, you’re told from the moment you’re born that men are in charge and men are better than everyone else. If you’re lucky enough to have people in your life to tell you differently, then you can break the mold and fight for change. But if you don’t, you have almost no chance of finding your place in feminism - and everybody has one. You’ll live your life believing that feminism is just for straight, white, cis women and that you don’t belong. You’ll think that they all hate men and want to see the world burn. But those viewpoints aren’t always your own. That’s what hooks (2000) means by the “bondage of patriarchy” (p. xiii). It’s restricting, it’s damaging, and it limits your view of the world. But if people can find a moment to step back and look at feminism for what it really is at it’s core, they might look at the world a little differently afterwards. hooks (2000) asks us to “imagine living in a world where there is no domination, where females and males are not alike or even always equal, but where a version of mutuality is the method shaping our interaction” (p. xiv). She wants us to imagine living without that “bondage” and to ask ourselves if that’s a better world. Feminism is not about being better than someone else or being perfectly equal all the time, it’s about living in balance and harmony with one another.

Depending on who you ask, they’ll define feminism differently. Someone might say it’s “protecting and supporting women”, another might say it’s “full of man-haters”, and someone else might just give you the dictionary definition. I think that bell hooks does a fantastic job of summarizing all of those together. She defines feminism as “a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression” (hooks, 2000, xii). Feminism is - based on it’s name alone - about women, but that’s not all that it is. It encompasses everyone and everything in our world because we’re all affected by it whether we know it or not. Many men perpetuate sexism unknowingly and feminism could bring that to their attention and help them change their ways. Or they might not realize just how damaging masculine expectations are. Feminism isn’t about making women above men or about killing all men, it’s a matter of tearing down the sexist world we live in. And if a few men happen to fall with it, that’s no fault of the movement. While it may begin on an individual level, feminism holds no grounds if we don’t tackle the system.

Brene Brown once said, “people are hard to hate close up” (Brown, 2017). 14 year old Lisa wasn’t close enough to the feminist movement to really understand it. They just weren’t at a place in their life where they had been exposed to enough of the world and learned enough about how their actions affect other people to truly understand what it meant to be a feminist. So, as I try to give grace to my past self, I hope other people can join me in giving a little bit of grace to those around them. Instead of pushing people away for saying the “wrong things” or doing something “bad”, let’s bring them in. hooks (2000) dares us to “come closer to feminism [to] see it is not how [we] have imagined it” (p. xii). We’re not all a bunch of hippie, gay women who don’t shave, who burn bras, who hate men, and who write Obama on our foreheads. Feminism is a truly beautiful movement. It’s multifaceted and it has a place for everyone and their passions. There are branches focused on climate change, fighting toxic masculinity, fighting domestic and sexual abuse, supporting queer people, supporting people of color, anything you can imagine. The one thing that they all have in common is the desire for a better future. Our current system is just not cutting it anymore - I don’t think it ever has to be honest with you - and it’s time for change. The feminists who come after us will thank us for our hard work. There is so much to be done and so little time, so let’s bring in as many people as we can, as close as we can, and grow feminism as much as we can.

#nonbinaryproblems #I wrote this for my gender and communication class #please enjoy #bell hooks #brene brown #gender #feminism #nonbinary

[johnhardinsawyer]

Loving God through Confrontation

John Sawyer

Bedford Presbyterian Church

10 / 16 / 22

Luke 4:14-21

Exodus 3:1-12

“Loving God through Confrontation”

(Sacred Pathways[1] – Week 5)

Years ago, I needed to go to the Wal-Mart to pick up a few things and I mentioned this to a friend.  “I don’t go to Wal-Mart as often as I used to,” she said.  “I just got so tired of writing them letters.”  “Letters?” I asked.  “Why and to whom do you write letters when you go to the Wal-Mart?”  “Well,” she said, “I don’t like some of their trade practices, and the working conditions are not great for all of their employees.  So every time I shop at Wal-Mart, I feel that I need to write a letter to them, expressing my dissatisfaction.”  “Don’t you see?” she went on to tell me.  “I’m an activist.  This is just what we do.”  Fast-forward about twenty years, and I just so happened to see a picture of this same person on Facebook just this past week, wearing a sweatshirt that read, “My favorite season is the fall . . . of the patriarchy.”  It would seem that old habits and old activists die hard.

Now, there might just be some of you who identify with my letter-writing-patriarchy-dismantling friend and say, “Right on, sister!  Power to the people!”  And there might just be some of you who think that she and people like her are “exactly what’s wrong with the world these days.”  

There are all kinds of ways that people love God, and show their faithfulness to God, and connect with God.  Some connect with God through nature, others through their senses, or specific rituals, or in solitude and simplicity.  And, believe it or not, there are some people who connect with God, first-and-foremost, through various forms of activism and confrontation with the powers-that-be.

“But why would they do this?” some of you might be wondering.  Didn’t Jesus say, “blessed are the meek,” and “blessed are the peacemakers?”[2]  Is there anything good about confrontation?  What is anyone trying to gain or do through activism that has anything to do with God or God’s purposes in the world?  

Let’s start to explore these big questions by looking at God’s own “activism” in the life of the world and the holy purpose behind it.  As Presbyterians, we believe that God has been and continues to be active in the life of the world.  We believe, unlike some of those who founded this country – Thomas Jefferson, and Benjamin Franklin, James Madison, and others – that God did not set the world in motion and then walk away, leaving us to our own devices.[3]  Instead, God is active in the world.  So, if God is an activist, then what, exactly, is God actively doing?  

In today’s scripture readings, we see that God is all about the work of liberation – freeing people from bondage.  Why is God doing this?  Well, for all sorts of reasons – but mainly because God does not want God’s own people to be burdened by suffering, or bound by sin, or abused by the world.  Throughout the Bible, we see God at work, again and again, freeing those who are enslaved – physically or spiritually – by unjust systems of oppression, by unhealthy ways of life, and by evil and sin as God defines them.  And, who does God enlist to aid in freeing those who are bound by these things?  

Well, let’s start with Moses, who has escaped from Egypt under some – shall we say – unique circumstances.  He has traded life in Egypt in the palace of Pharaoh’s daughter for life outdoors, looking after sheep “beyond the wilderness.” (Exodus 3:1)  He has put his old life in Egypt behind him, but just when he thinks he’s out, God pulls him back in.  Many of you are probably familiar with today’s story in which Moses sees a burning bush and has an encounter with God that radically changes Moses’ life.  His vocational trajectory goes from the not-so-upwardly-mobile wilderness shepherd to empire-shaking activist liberator of God’s people.  

There are all kinds of things happening in today’s story, but first and foremost, God has seen and heard a problem that God wants to solve:

“I have observed the misery of my people who are in Egypt,” God tells Moses.  “I have heard their cry on account of their taskmasters.  Indeed, I know their sufferings, and I have come down to deliver them from the Egyptians, and to bring them up out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey.” (3:7-8)

God sees and hears that God’s own people are suffering and oppressed and God wants to bring an end to this.  It is God who initiates this action – God who chooses to be active on behalf of God’s own people.  

And yet, for some reason, God decides to work through human beings – specifically, a skeptical reluctant human being named Moses.  “So come, I will send you, Moses, to Pharaoh to bring my people, the Israelites, out of Egypt,” God says.  To which Moses immediately replies, “Ummmm. . . you want me, Lord?  I don’t think I’m right for the job.”  To which God replies, “I will be with you.” (3:10-12)[4]  Just so you know, God has similar conversations with the likes of Isaiah and Jeremiah, Jonah and Hosea, and so many others.  “I don’t really think you want me to do this hard thing – speak truth to power, undergo persecution, run the risk of being killed for what I say and do,” God’s prophetic activists will usually say.  “But I do want you,” God replies, “and I will be with you.”

Anyway, back to Moses, who – after a bit of hemming and hawing on Moses’ part – goes and stands in the throne room of one of the most powerful leaders in the world and says, on behalf of God, “Let my people go.”  He asks again, and again, and again and then – after God sends plague after plague upon the Egyptians – the Pharaoh is worn down by the plagues and by Moses and he lets God’s people go.  

You know, until I started work on this sermon series, I never really thought of Moses as an “activist,” but he sure is.  Moses does the work of trying to remain humbly faithful to God’s holy liberating purpose and he mostly succeeds.  There will be times a little later in the story when he will get a bit haughty and worn down and not make all the right decisions. But God is with him, just the same, and the people walk free.  God is about the business of liberation and the Israelites are able to leave Egypt in the rear-view mirror.    

We should note that it’s not easy going for God’s people, who will end up wandering in the wilderness for forty years.  This happens because, with their newfound freedom, they are free make some poor choices and God slows them down to think about things and try to be more faithful over time.  Human beings will always make poor choices – we are held captive by sin.  And this is why God sends Jesus, who declares in today’s first reading that he has come to liberates us all.  God, in Jesus Christ, is about the business of liberation – an activist on behalf of those who are poor (and poor in spirit), and imprisoned (by unjust systems and spiritual sin), and blinded (by illness and injury, prejudice and pride), and burdened (by debts we cannot pay and guilt that will not go away).  Jesus comes to declare “the year of the Lord’s favor” – a jubilee that frees us from all of the things that bind us.  At first, people are receptive to Jesus’ words, but then they start to realize that if Jesus is doing all of this, that things are going to change in a big way.  The poor and the outcast will be lifted up and welcomed in.  The rich and the powerful will be brought low.  Our own societal structures are being dismantled and refashioned and rebuilt to resemble the kingdom of heaven.  This message is both literal – in that Jesus welcomes sinners and outcasts, feeds the hungry, works across lines of race and class, and speaks words of warning to the rich and the powerful – and spiritual – in that Jesus offers forgiveness of sin and victory over the power of death.  And, even though some folks don’t like it, this message is political, too, in that there are times when the seat and mechanisms of political power from Pharaoh to Caesar, from Democrat to Republican, can hold the most powerful means of change for the public good or the good of the whole world.  “Let my people go,” Moses says, again and again.  Eventually, the Pharaoh says, “Yes.”

For some strange reason, even though it is God who initiates all of this and God who is at work through it all, Jesus calls us to humbly share in this work – to be active in the world in the name of God’s powerful and liberating love.

Now, I know that some of you are probably thinking something like, “John, I really connect with God when I am walking on a beach or when I am singing a hymn in church.  I just don’t know about standing up against the powerful to create systemic change, or preaching on a street corner, or carrying a sign in protest.”  You know what?  I get it.  The ministry of activism and confrontation is not always appealing and we – in the decisions we make and the ways we think are best to serve – can sometimes can muddy the waters that God has actually made quite clear.  There are those who are activists (for God) in every shade on the theological and ideological spectrum.  And, faithful people have differing views on what constitutes faithful activism in God’s name.  There are faithful Christians who would claim to be activists on opposing sides of the abortion debate, and LGBTQIA rights, discussions of race, and what to do about poverty, and healthcare, and global conflicts, and climate change.  And neither side thinks the other side is correct.  

So, how do we know who is in the right and who is in the wrong?  Who is actually doing God’s will through activism and who is hindering God’s purposes through activism?  The answer, here, can be as complicated as some of the issues around which people march and protest.  

I would recommend that any wannabe activist for Jesus needs to undertake the humble work of seeking the most loving way forward, leaning upon the Holy Spirit, being open to correction.  So many who would call themselves activists can get so hard-hearted and hard-headed by “the cause” that there is little grace in their actions.  Remember, we are seeking to be humble vessels of God’s action in the world.  It is God who initiates and leads this work and not we who are so easily distracted by the latest issue or headline, or have our own mindset shaped by the confirmation bias of only listening to sources and ideas with whom we already agree or support our fully-formed (and sometimes uninformed) ideas.  

Another recommendation is to ask yourself, “Who benefits from this activism?”  If you see someone actively trying to achieve some outcome in the name of God or some other cause, ask yourself the question, “Who is benefitting here?”  Remember, God is on the side of the oppressed – not the powerful.  God is always on the side of the poor, not always some giant wealthy corporation or individual.  God is on the side of the outcast, not the insider.  God is on the side of the humble and the lowly, and we would be wise to humbly seek to be on God’s side, too.  

You know, we are – as a church – presently discerning our new vision and mission statements.  One of the phrases in our proposed mission statement has caused more questions than any other.  The proposed language is that we, as a church, are seeking to “intentionally do justice,” which comes from Micah 6:8, in that God requires those who are seeking to be faithful to “do justice, love kindness (or mercy), and walk humbly with God.”  If we are “intentionally doing justice,” this means that we are actively seeking a just church, a just community, a just nation and world that is “on earth as it is in heaven.”

The best kind of activism is always seeking – and working for – God’s heaven here on earth.  And there are times when this activism asks more of us than liking someone’s post on Facebook, or retweeting someone, or putting a bumper sticker on our car.  God is always asking more of us – calling us not to “slactivism” for the kingdom but activism in how and when and where we actively love God by seeking a better world, “on earth as it is in heaven.”  God is at work, seeking to fix exactly what is really wrong with the world these days.  May we join in this holy work, with humble hearts, willing spirits, and loving action.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.  

----------

[1] Gary Thomas, Sacred Pathways: Nine Ways to Connect with God (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Books, 2020).

[2] See Matthew 5:5 and 5:9.

[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deism#Deism_in_the_United_States.

[4] Paraphrased, JHS.

[calyxaomphalos]

The Ghosts of Windy Ridge

Turn #112, The Ghost Jamboree

28 April 2022, Thursday Night - The Ghost Jamboree

Rather than roll right up to the Yellow Cross, I parked a few yards down the road and then walked the rest of the way. The sun was definitely down. A gentle rustling off to my right made me look over the treeline. There was a familiar silhouette. "Hey, Dave, nice to see you this evening."

"Dave's not here, man," came the predictable reply from the tall tree spirit.

And with that, I suddenly felt a prickling wave of heat pass over my skin, though the night was cool. Just like the first time I'd met Dave the Tree, every spirit around suddenly lit up and they were all converging at the Yellow Cross.

When I approached the cross, I could see the glowing form of Ergediel floating above and behind the shrine. Further back on the ridge and headed down the slope was Black Shuck in his loping, smoke-cloud gait. Overtaking Black Shuck, and nearly seeming to disrupt the integrity of his ghost dog body in a heavy breeze was Shawasha, causing swirling patterns in the grasses and shrubs along the ridge and down to the shrine. I could feel Foras lurking somewhere off toward the Crossroads, headed this way.

A familiar voice next to me said, "Good evening, Serren."

"George, a pleasure to see you," I said, even though I had no visual sense of Dani's departed grandfather. "I brought a couple dressed candles, do you have any recommendations as to placement?"

"Hmm, you are the one who is physically in the space, Serren. I trust your instincts on that."

I pulled out the candles and my lighter. Considering the scene, I nestled one next to a Sacred Heart of Jesus candle which was still burning, and put the other in amongst the few branded with the Academy logo. As I worked on this, I could feel an oppressing sensation. It was tied to an approaching spirit, Foras.

The only other local spirit I'd encountered in Windy Ridge who had not yet made an appearance as Mo himself. Part of me wondered if Mo had maybe gone down to the Great Hall to listen to the rants that undoubtedly would be arising from Hank's presentation. I took out a small towel from my basket and spread it out to sit on, then I made myself comfortable.

"You know your Maurice is always late," George said. "It's been years, Serren. You'd think he'd understand. I've only been coming to these for a few months."

I thought about the town and how I only knew a few people in it. And here, too, I must assume that despite what Dave the Tree had done for me, there were many more spirits here than I could identify individually. "What are these gatherings like, usually? Is it appropriate for me to even be here?"

"We're drawn here. I can't really say why. A lot of the time, we don't even talk to each other, let alone to those still in the physical realm. When I am not here, I am not sure exactly where I am. Sometimes, as you well know, I am able to visit people and places about the town, but not in a way that I have any control over. It is very confusing, most certainly. Maurice's ability to be late has been one of the more baffling things about this whole experience, honestly."

As if on cue, I heard Mo call out, "Hey, Rennie! Welcome to the party!" There he was, big as life, standing in front of the Yellow Cross, arms akimbo, that same subdued smirk which said he was planning mischief.

"Mo, great to see you, I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner."

"I've been at this party for years, Rennie. You could have come any time. But no, only when you need ol' Mo. Sure thing."

"Guilty as charged," I sighed. "The world has gone crazy since you left. I might be joining you at this party sooner rather than later if you can't help me find a way to keep Raj and Salimi from retaliating against me."

"I kept the receipts, Rennie. Raj knew all along that the paintings were fake. What he paid us was a fraction of his expected return now, some thirty years later. That means someone else has spotted at least one fake recently, probably when Raj was trying to sell'em. But he knew and there's proof in my documents from the Academy. I'm sure you can find them in the Academy's library."

"Heh, I think I've already got them back at the cabin I'm renting. What exactly am I looking for in there? It's not written out in plain text, I'm sure."

"Pretty damned close, actually. Look at the stock certificate receipts for MoFo Graphics Co. You'll find some 'out of range' certificates. Those are the paintings. Now, Rennie, please, join the party!"

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Oh, foo, only one "Read More" clicky thing allowed per post...

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Mo is definitely based on a real-life person, but all the art forgery stuff is made up. The pic below is from the Game Developer's Conference held in San Jose, CA, March 21-23, 2002 where we were demoing MojoWorld. Our fearless leader went by the nickname "Doc Mojo" and I never really called him anything but Mo.

That's Mo in the back, me on the left and Daulton on the right. I'm the only one in the photo without a Wikipedia page and that's OK.

This is not the end of the novel! There are six more scenes coming!

#the ghosts of windy ridge #writeblr #nanowrimo #over the mountain #wait‚ what? #the falcon and the snowman

[as-if-and-only-if]

fellas, is it respectful of women to think your gender can make you inherently worthy of death?

#checked that blog and it’s full of stuff like that so. this isn’t a one-off #and it becomes clear this was not said ‘in jest’ #comments like this are so anti-feminist…like if you think for like a split second about WHY the patriarchy is bad #it becomes clear this kind of thing is incompatible with a world that does not replicate it #if you think man-hating is good or feminist you are lost #just. #this burns me up. to think that the way out of oppression is to identify a group that you think should be oppressed instead #just the IDIOCY of it. ‘what does the world need? the RIGHT kind of oppression!’ #‘the problem right now is just that it’s directed against the wrong kind of people! not that oppression is horrible!’ #the funniest part tho is that this was a reply to a collage of ‘mommy gf’ memes with Freud superposed on top and no additional commentary #violence cw #sexism cw

[susiephone]

Imagine thinking that wanting straight people to be accepting of gay people is a "trap" and not like, literally THE entire goal of the modern LGBT rights movement since its inception

okay. this is in response to me saying “respectability politics is a trap.” which it absolutely is.

but i’ll give you the benefit of the doubt here. let’s define respectability politics, shall we?

several people who are more well-spoken than me have talked about this. to quote this article on the subject:

Respectability politics is a school of thought that utilizes respectability narratives as the basis for enacting social, political, and legal change.

Respectability narratives are representations of marginalized individuals meant to construct an image of the marginalized group as people sharing similar traits, values, morals with the dominant group.

essentially, respectability politics is when people in a marginalized group (queer people, disabled people, people of color) wish to be accepted by the majority, and thus present themselves in a way and behave in a way that the majority deems acceptable - and pressure others in their marginalized group to do the same. for example:

“Not all bisexual people are sluts, I’m bi and I’ve been in a committed relationship for 20 years!”

“I’m gay, but I’m not one of THOSE gay guys, I hate shopping and I don’t like to flaunt my sexuality at all!”

“Lesbians aren’t really all masculine, I love makeup and having long hair.”

(I’m using examples I’ve seen in the queer community because I’m queer; I know this happens a lot in communities of color, but I am not qualified to speak on that at all.)

this stems from a desire to be accepted by the majority; for the purposes of this discussion, straight people. we hear straight people say things like “i could never date a bi person, they’re all cheaters” or “i don’t mind gay guys, don’t just shove it in my face” and “why don’t lesbians act like women if they love them?” and, in response, some people go, “i don’t act like that!! you can accept me! i fit in! i’m respectable, i’m not like those guys, they embarrass us!”

there’s also a lot of people saying, “don’t reinforce the stereotype.” as if it’s OUR fault straight people stereotype us.

so this leads to shaming within our own community:

“You’re bi and polyamorous? Wow, way to make people think we’re all two-timing whores.”

“Makeup? Jesus, we get it, you’re gay, you don’t have to make it a pride parade every time you go out.”

“You look like a teenage boy, this is why everyone lesbians aren’t real women.”

and that all boils down to:

“THIS is the example you’re setting? This is the face you show to the world? Don’t you know you’re representing us? No wonder they don’t respect us.”

and that’s the real problem: telling other queer people, “it is YOUR fault you’re not accepted, YOU aren’t acceptable, YOU reinforce these stereotypes, YOU should try and be more respectable, more normal.” and the thing is, “normal” is defined by the majority. THEY decide what is acceptable behavior for us. and guess what? 

most of the time, that boils down to, “It’s fine if you’re different... as long as you’re as close to what I deem normal as possible. As long as I can’t tell you’re different.”

in the queer community, this sort of thinking has led to the exclusion of butch lesbians, femme gay men, nonbinary people, non-passing trans people, trans people in general, people who use any pronouns besides she/her and he/him, bisexual people, ace people, aro people, pan people, polyamorous bisexual people, people who have an active sex life, sex workers, people who have changed how they identify, and countless others. these people get shoved aside by the Good Respectable Gays, who are eager to say, “We’re not like them, we’re just like you!” in order to be accepted by the mainstream. and it still doesn’t work. even the most macho, would-never-guess-it gay guy is bound to face some level of oppression or otherness at some point in his life. it doesn’t matter how much he fits in, how much he distances himself from the Unacceptable Queers; it won’t work 100% of the time. how’s that for a punchline?

there is no point in trying to file off the “unacceptable” parts of our community just to please straight people. 

if a person hates all queer people, no matter how they act or present, they’re a homophobe.

if a person doesn’t hate queer people, just the ones who shove it in your face and sleep around and won’t shut up about it and buck gender norms and use weird pronouns and expect people to learn their new name and change their identity every week... they’re still a fucking homophobe.

and why the fuck are we trying to please homophobes, again?

so when people say lil nas x is bad, actually, because he “reinforces the stereotype” of gay people going to hell and thinking a lot about sex or whatever, they’re playing right into respectability politics. why can’t he just talk about his sexuality in a normal way? why can’t he express himself in a nicer way? why does he have to use that imagery? why does he have to make straight people uncomfortable?

lis nas x is a gay black man who grew up being told he’d burn in hell for being gay. and he made an awesome song with a legendary music video saying, “fine. i’ll go to hell, just like you want, and it’ll be great. i’ll take the damn place over and make satan fall in love with me. and i’ll have a great time doing it, because i’m proud of who i am, and i won’t apologize for it or be ashamed of it anymore.”

to see that and wring your hands, worrying that a straight person will see it and decide to be homophobic about it, and pinning the blame for that on nas is missing the point.

every time we as a community make ourselves lesser or change the way we present just to be accepted by the majority, they move the goalposts, and someone else gets left behind. and the beautiful thing about the queer community is that there is a place for everyone who is left out in the cold by the straight, cis majority.

“We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it” was the rallying cry for a reason. we’re different, you think we’re weird, you think we’re deviant, you don’t get us, and that’s fine, you don’t have to get us. we’re not going anywhere. get used to it.

respectability politics is a game you cannot win. so stop playing.

#respectability politics #queer #queer pride #lgbtq #long post cw #Anonymous

[radfembooksblog]

Published in 1974, Woman Hating: A Radical Look at Sexuality was Dworkin's first book outlining many foundational points comprising her developing feminist philosophy. She identifies the book a revolutionary act, an expression of a "commitment to ending male dominance" in all its cultural and social manifestations.

The introduction offers a complex understanding of women's lives. She describes the impossibility of a revolution for women if women with privilege and comfort are not willing to give up each in solidarity with women not so entitled. She recognizes that women occupy multiple positions: of oppression, privilege, and peril, such that one may stand on the freedom of other women and men, or be in more danger for one's ethnicity than one's sex.

The guts of the book, its primary thesis, is that a male supremacist ideology requires female subordination and negation. She endeavors to reveal how it suffuses society, how it becomes mythic, religious. She extracts and analyzes themes in Western fairy tales and pornography, in Pauline Reage's Story of O, in The Image by Jean de Berg. Whether in literature for children or adults, in cultural products portending to be fantasy, she finds the same epistemology: women are either Good or Evil. Either way they are to be ruled by men, spheres of existence severely limited, in mobility such as through foot binding, or snuffed out entirely, such as through witch burning.

The last section explores androgyny in myths and religions across the globe to "discern another ontology, one which discards the fiction that there are two polar distinct sexes." She was not alone in this endeavor. Dworkin's exploration exists in a Western literary lineage that includes Orlando: A Biography, by Virginia Woolf, and Woman on the Edge of Time, by Marge Piercy.

In the final chapter, she examines sexual similarities, hermaphroditism, parthenogenesis, pansexuality, homosexuality, transsexuality, transvestism, bestiality, incest, the family, and children. About this chapter she reflects on her own theorizing as problematic, existing outside of girls' and women's lived experience: "I think there are a lot of things really wrong with the last chapter of Woman Hating", said Dworkin in an interview with Cindy Jenefsky for her book, Without Apology: Andrea Dworkin's Art and Politics. She identifies factors which influenced the chapter: 'years of reading Freud and trying to figure out abstractly what all this was about'... [A]t the time Woman Hating was written, [there were] roots in the counterculture and the sexual liberation movement."

Dworkin's work from the early 1980s onward contained frequent condemnations of incest and pedophilia as one of the chief forms of violence against women, arguing once that "incest is a crime committed against someone, a crime from which many victims never recover."

 In the early 1980s, she had a public row with her formerly admired friend Allen Ginsberg, with whom she shared godparent status of a mutual friend's child. The intense disagreement was over his support for child pornography and pedophilia, in which Ginsberg said, "The right wants to put me in jail." Dworkin responded, "Yes, they're very sentimental; I'd kill you."

#radblr #radical feminism #radical feminist community #radical feminist safe #radical feminists please interact

[vaguely-concerned]

Any tips for a TF POV fic? I want to write one because I too went through a time in my life when I let feelings bounce off cuz that was easier, but I feel like that's not quite on point for him 🤔

God I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about this and they’re all so wordless and frustratingly evasive to me yet (I am in the process of writing a looooooong T.F. POV fic and it gives me much more trouble than Graves POV, probably because as a person I’m quite a lot more like the T.F. Type in real life lol). But yes, here we go, let me try to express some of what I personally try to have as my hm ‘anchor points’ for his perspective. (Heavy disclaimer that these are just my personal & disorganized little musings and by no means the only or ‘correct’ way to read the character!)

- First of all I agree, the image of ‘bouncing off’ doesn’t feel quiteright -- it’s in the right neighbourhood but the wrong address sort of thing, but it’s really hard to come up with a way to explain how I feel the nuance here.

*insert three hours later spongebob meme here* Okay, so the metaphor I came up with is: T.F.’s relationship to emotions is a direct parallel to his relationship to water/the ocean: it’s scary down there, it’s dark, it’s dangerous, and if he should ever be dumb enough to try to go in too deep it’ll kill him dead because boy oh boy on so many levels this man just did not learn how to swim. As far as he’s concerned any sensible person would simply bob along on the surface in a sturdily built boat and try not to think too much about the weird shit that lives down there in the depths. (In this metaphor the layer of artifice and performance so habitual it’s basically integrated into the fabric of his soul is the boat. Y’know, the part that’s Twisted Fate and not just plain ol’ Tobias. I’ll hasten to add that I think both parts of his identity are equally ‘real’ and equally him, but the Twisted Fate part is like… protecting the Tobias part. Keeping him from drowning, as it were. I’m not sure he’d think of it like that himself for the longest time, though, I suspect he has more of a ‘that man is dead’ attitude towards the Tobias part after Graves is gone)

I think what I’m trying to get at is the idea that to him, raw emotion is as hostile and unknowable and unnavigable an ‘environment’ as the deep ocean. (And the only time we see him willingly go there, physically and otherwise, is for Graves, so you know let’s jot that down first of all lol.)

- He seems to genuinely quite like and be interested in people – how they think, what moves and motivates them, their secrets and foibles. So I tend to try to keep the uh ‘detail work’ in his POV focused in that direction. Priority going like 1) people 2) people’s valuables 3) the relative availability of people’s valuables at this moment if you have clever hands and a very charming smile haha

- One of my favourite things about T.F. is that he seems, I don’t know… quite genuinely good-natured beneath it all? If you back him into a corner some sharp and dangerous things peek out (he has survived in his line of heh ‘business’ for like thirty years, and a lot of it on his own), but for the most part and when unthreatened he has a sort of mildly amused and intrigued live-and-let-live attitude to the world even as he’s conning it that I find deeply charming. Which to me ties in with:

- T.F.’s first instinctive reaction to danger (perceived or real) the majority of the time seems to be ‘Flight’. Confrontation and violence are basically his ‘when literally everything else has failed’ options. (As seen prominently in Burning Tides, where he just keeps running and running and the only time he actually starts throwing punches is when he has to because Graves is in immediate danger and they’re backed into a corner. Which feels like it means something huh lol, I often think about what could actually make T.F. angry enough that he would openly express it and that seems to be the most likely angle for it in my eyes.)

- My take on one of the fundamental differences between Graves and T.F. is that Graves has A LOT of feelings but doesn’t quite know it (or more like can’t quite conceptualize it I should say) – he has a hard time identifying or finding vocabulary for feelings that aren’t some shade of anger. Meanwhile T.F. KNOWS he has feelings, he just doesn’t like it, ardently wishes he didn’t, and will do pretty much anything to run away and not have to engage with them haha.

Another important difference: when brought out of equilibrium Graves gets angry, and T.F. gets scared. I have the feeling that beneath it all he’s scared a lot, and it’s why his persona is so oriented towards gaining control in ways where people don’t realize it enough to even think try to take that control away from him until he’s already long gone. Misdirection as a way of life babEY

- This might be too deep in the ‘my WIP/process specific’ territory to really count as general analysis, but I think it’s there in canon too – there’s almost a feeling that he implicitly feels like he has to make up for some fundamental flaw or lack he has at the core? (Not a weird thing for him to end up feeling, considering what happened to him as a kid.) All the rest of him, all the cleverness and style and charm, is there to ‘make up’ for how at the end of the day he’s… wrong somehow. As Graves, who knows him better than anyone, focuses right in on, a coward. And that is CERTAINLY not the whole truth and even Graves in a full rage relents when he sees the effect the accusation has on him and once he gets the actual facts of what happened. But I think that sense of deep unworthiness is what’s stuck with him emotionally. His people left him because there’s something fundamentally lacking and immoral about him. He lost Graves because he’s not good enough, because he’s a coward who leaves people behind. He deserves to be alone. Mix in a ton of survivor’s guilt to taste, and I think you have the like… core emotional wound he’s constructed around.

There’s also something here about fear of profound powerlessness specifically in situations where words, generally his strongest card that’s not a literal card (har har har oh we do have fun here), simply don’t work right at the moment when he needs them to the most – he tried to beg for his people not to leave him behind, he tried to convince Graves to get the hell out with the rest of the crew… and it didn’t work. (In Burning Tides you see he’s given up even trying to explain himself, he just wants Out in whatever way leaves both him and Graves tolerably in one piece, even if he won’t be understood or heard or less alone afterwards. It takes him until like half way through the entire chase to even THINK about just telling Graves the truth. In all fairness to T.F. it probably wouldn’t have worked at that moment, but it does vaguely crack me up that he didn’t even consider it until all of Bilgewater harbor was already burning merrily behind them fhsajkfa)

- He has a little bit of a (perfectly justified considering his background honestly) chip on his shoulder, especially when it comes to powerful or arrogant people. There seems to be a special satisfaction in outsmarting and robbing specifically rich assholes (which would also be the people who have the most to steal, so y’know good times all round). From his short stories and few places in his bio you almost get the feeling that he has a funny sort of Robin Hood-esque sense of lopsided justice about it. (Robin Hood-esque only so far as to define ‘the poor’ as the eternally hard-strapped ‘T.F. & Graves Waistcoats and Cigars Fund’, of course lol)

I think T.F. both has a mind that tends more towards analyzing the big picture and also has more direct experience with like… structural/systemic powerlessness and oppression. So the cons they pull are probably partly how he channels the emotions that arise out of that (and the rest he just represses, like the relatable guy he is haha)

- Graves being back would cause some IMMENSE internal conflict in him, I feel – of course all the feelings of relief and attachment and love, but also… so much of who he is now came about specifically to find a way to deal with Graves being gone, with seemingly just shutting down the entirety of his need for real human companionship or closeness for like a decade, things that are suddenly starting to be brought online again and must be tremendously stressful to deal with when you’ve had it completely suppressed and deadened for so long. He’s put so much into trying to be fundamentally unattached to anything, anywhere, anyone (and there are some things here about perpetually being an outsider his whole life that I can’t quite put into words, but that’s a dimension too.) That sort of psychological self defense mechanism doesn’t just contentedly nod its head and go away just because something good happened one time haha. Probably a work in progress there huh (at least he’s not alone in it now <3)

PLUS some bonus Graves POV observations because man. I love writing him, he’s just a marvel of a man

- I know I call him a dumbass all the time, but in a street smart way I think he’s actually quite clever haha, he just has a bad tendency to get hung up on an idea and get tunnel sight. (I’ve based this a lot on the short stories but see also more recently his Sentinel skin voice lines for good examples: he’s incredibly straightforward in that ‘well obviously if it doesn’t affect me personally I ain’t gonna give it that much thought’ way, but you also have glimpses of surprising insight/shrewdness and… I don’t quite know how to put it, but something like an ability to get to the bottom line of something without getting caught up in the details. (I suspect T.F. does find himself lost in the details quite frequently, he’s much more attached to the decorative curlicues of the world.) Graves clearly & frequently has no idea what’s going on, but he strips things down to the essentials very quick: Lucian’s story as a direct thematic mirror to Viego’s, Is There A Sun Lady – Oh, I See, all of this is weird and creepy and needs shooting, and maybe most crucial of all: Isolde doesn’t want to be with her husband anymore so what he’s doing is just like. Extra shitty. He gets what he needs to get and then just barges ahead heedlessly with that. Icon.)

- He’s actually pretty darn eloquent in a gruff sort of way and uses some quite sophisticated vocabulary! And the way this is contrasted with the tendency to slip into blunter coarser language just as readily -- like when he takes the time to describe the monster that takes down the Prince’s ship in such poetic terms as ‘gargantuan’ and ‘the behemoth’s immense, distended jaw’ and it having ‘pallid dead eyes the size of the moon’, and meanwhile during his swim at the beginning of the story we get bastard cold and bastard dark and full of bastard jellyfish and crabs – brings me such immense and unending delight

- He’s more eloquent in his internal voice than he is when speaking (especially noticeable in Destiny and Fate; he does have a tendency to fumble his words when talking lol), and he gets quite easily lost in his own meandering reflective musings in a way I find incredibly endearing. I’d almost call it whimsical at times, honestly, hilarious as that is? Like when he’s literally so absorbed in a line of thought he forgets which way they’re rowing and T.F. has to remind him. (I think T.F. generally has more of a grip of what’s going on around them than Graves does lol)

- There’s an important distinction to be made that Graves actually does, by and large, read T.F: very closely and seemingly also pretty damn accurately. He’s good at (and clearly very interested in) reading his moods, spotting what tactics he’s using interpersonally, when he’s being genuine and when he’s being dissembling.

What Graves is actually bad at is understanding his own emotions, and to not bleed those emotions into other people’s motivations and behavior, especially when he’s upset or in heightened states of feeling, like he is all the way through Burning Tides. He can only name his own feelings in a vocabulary of anger, when it’s pretty clear from the subtext that there’s a whole bunch of other stuff going on there, and he has incredible trouble divorcing those feelings from what other people’s got going on with them right then. He feels hurt, betrayed, and undone by everything that’s happened to him, so the intention to hurt, betray and undo must live in the other person who he feels caused it. In less drastic cases you see him do this a bit when he feels like T.F. is being evasive with him – taking it as a form of rejection rather than realizing T.F. is just lost in his own thoughts, sort of thing. There’s a real improvement in this one between Burning Tides and Destiny and Fate, though, so maybe he’ll have an easier time of it with some time and practice.

Sorry it took so long to get back to you on this and that it’s a bit of a rambling mess, words have been real hard recently. Or rather I have too many words, all the time, left and right, I just can’t put them into the right orders to make any sense hahaha, I hope there’s some useful point in this somewhere for you at least!

#hopefully this makes some kind of sense my brain is in... a state but it was actually really nice to just focus on some character analysis! #tf x graves #league of legends #twisted fate

[oldandkinky]

1/5 I’m so sorry you came across the infamous Scott McCall apologism squad trolls. @princeescaluswords @liliaeth @scintalla are well known harassers and rabid Scott/Posey stans Stiles/Derek haters who will harass and gaslight anyone who doesn’t worship the ground their toxic fav Scott walks on or dares to hold Scott accountable for his canon flaws and abusive actions and behavior on any level.

2/5 PrinceEscalusWords in particular is a middle aged Republican white man who obsessively hates on Stiles and Derek on a daily basis just to prop Scott up, painting Stiles and Derek as violent abusive monsters and rapists while painting Scott as a martyr and their poor oppressed victim. PrinceEsclusWords is also the same hypocritical troll who claims Scott had a reason to use, violate and dehumanize Derek because “Scott’s a victim of Gerard’s blackmail!”,

3/5 but then goes out of his ableist way to victim blame Stiles for being a victim of assault and of Theo’s blackmail and for refusing to share his own trauma with Scott like Scott wanted and demanded in Season 5. According to them it’s never Scott’s faults: it’s always someone else’s. He also called Derek a rapist and said that Derek helped Kate burn his family alive, which says a lot about what kind of vile, disgusting person he is in real life.

4/5 I’m not at all surprised he blocked you; he does it every single time someone calls him out on his toxic behavior and he doesn’t know how to argue against canon facts. He was also kicked out of the Teen Wolf legacy discord sever because he kept harassing Stiles and Derek fans and told a real life rape victim that she shouldn’t identify with Derek but stan Scott instead. His so called Scott McCall defense squad posts are really just anti Stiles and Derek hateful, delusional trash.

5/5 They’ll never forgive Stiles and Derek for being everyone’s favorite (including the whole Teen Wolf cast’s and their precious Posey’s) and for eclipsing Scott’s bland ass from day one without even trying. You didn’t say anything wrong, and the fact that these trolls attacked and blocked you for pointing out canon facts proves it. Ignore those bullies and keep enjoying the things you love and share your Teen Wolf metas and opinione with us please! Hope you are having a wonderful day ❤️

-------------------------------

Yeah, I figured as much. I just dipped my toes into TW a while ago and barely have opinions on most of it, not even on motivations or whatever in this scene (which I think I made pretty clear), it's just the fundamental inability to understand tropes that rubbed me the wrong way.

I get having a favourite character. Hell, I have a lot that are super problematic (coughHannibalcough), but Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. Enjoy your corner of the fandom and stop inserting yourself into things.

Maybe I'm too old for this shit but I just don't understand this constant need in many people nowadays to go out of their way to defend their faves and put down other characters (looking at you, Witcher fandom with the rampant Jaskier vs Yennefer bullshit). If someone tells me they hate Jaskier, I say "Good for you, bye" and don't interact with them any more. Is that such a controversial, weird behaviour? Because it certainly feels like it has become that.

Anyway. Stan what you want but don't be a dick, folks. It's not hard.

#oldandkinky #oldandkinky talks #rant post #teen wolf rant