#this definitely happened
edward: bad things keep happening to me, like i have bad luck or something.
rosalie: edward, you don’t have bad luck. the reason bad things happen to you is because you’re a dumbass.
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911: What's your emergency?
Jason: Well, I don't have one but–
911: *hangs up*
Jason, to Tim bleeding next to him: Maybe you should try calling next time.
Tim: *barely conscious* Or maybe you should have called Alfred like usual. What the fuck is wrong with you?
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hunter: why are there little handprints all over the wall?
wrecker, echo, & tech, whispering: why are there little handprints all over the wall?
omega, whispering back: because i have little hands.
wrecker, echo, & tech: because she has little hands.
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gwaine : FUCK THE GOVERNMENT
lancelot : *sighs* we ARE the government, gwaine
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sirius, after getting a muggle phone: hey siri, call me daddy
siri: well, I don't see a 'father' in your contact list
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Sirius: *wearing leather jackets and black ripped jeans*
Remus: *sigh* i wish I could pull that off
Sirius: go ahead
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Quirrel: You look cute today.
Voldemort: Excuse me? I don't look cute.
Quirrel: You do. You're my cute-
Voldemort: I am Lord Voldemort, cuteness isn't something I do.
Quirrel, smirking: You're cute.
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Eddie, conveniently wearing an LAFD shirt that barely fits: hey Buck, how come you never called *me* "probie"?
Buck: y'know I think I hear Bobby calling me for something right now immediately
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yaga: there is only one thing worse than dying during this mission
yaga: [removes paper on top, revealing "gojo dying"]
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Steve: Whoops? WHOOPS? This is not a “whoops” situation. We are far past whoops. Whoops is a distant speck in the rearview mirror. We are solidly in “oh fuck” territory, and I expect you to act like it.
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Jesper: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?
Kaz: Go the fuck to sleep
Jesper: What gif I don't want to?
Kaz: Fuck You
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Remus: I really need to stop asking people
Remus: 'How stupid can you be?'
Remus: because some people are starting to take it as a
Remus: fucking challenge
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Oh mah gawd
Guys i found a deleted scene😌
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Buck: I’m having second thoughts about this.
Hen: Please you never even had first thoughts
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Can’t help but think this is the reason why Young Eda almost never got in trouble at home. Gwen was one of those Parents. She just had to be one of those Parents.
Ya know, exactly the kind of parent I’m talking about, she was definitely the “My child is an angel” Parent. You can’t convince me otherwise, she was definitely that one kind of parent at least once. Like, every time Principal Bump would call her into the office to pick up Eda from Detention she’d spend her entire time in the office just going:
“What, my child? Oh no no no no, that can’t be my precious little Witchlet, nah that’s gotta be someone else’s ginger, Eda’s as innocent as can be! Surely she couldn’t have been the one who caused the ghost infestation in the girl’s locker room today! My daughter’s an angel!”
Meanwhile you got Bump looking at her and then looking over at Eda committing Arson in the background like:
And if it wasn’t out of Gwendolyn just being dead pan serious about it, it was more out of plausible deniability than anything else. If not just a flat out combination of both.
Long story short this is most probably definitely the reason Bump always called Eda’s father in instead to pick her up from Detention.
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Airport security: no liquids on the plane
Sirius: *starts drinking it*
Airport security: ...
Airport security: most people throw the shampoo away
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Thrawn: I met Anakin skywalker on a mission. How did you know him?
Ahsoka: I was his padawan.
Thrawn: I’m sorry?
Ahsoka: oh, I said, I was his padawan
Thrawn: no, I’m just sorry
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Outlander: I can't believe I embarrassed myself like that
Arcann: What, when you called Senya "mom" during the briefing?`
Outlander: No, I've done that like five times
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Splendor and Offender when they were younger
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i think someone said this already but nicky in college passing for 20????? with his hotter than hot, peoples sexiest man alive boyfriend who writes poetry????? i just know that the girls and gays were JEALOUS as hell when Joe would pull up to pick Nicky up from class
some college student: “oh look there goes that quiet kid from my Ancient History 101 class with that absolute hunk of a man. man i wish i were him.”
EDIT: yes of course some people would be jealous of Joe cuz Nicky is one fine looking man himself 👀
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