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ficnation · 10 months

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Chapter 1

Series: The Cockroach Word count: 2,3k+ Pairings: Negan Smith x Reader; Lucille Smith x Reader; Negan Smith x Lucille Smith Warnings: cheating, mentions of cancer, usual twd themes A/n: Hi! Just posting lil finished something for you while I work on all of my other wips. Enjoy! If you're not on the taglist but would like to be tagged let me know!

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“He’s getting on my nerves, hun. Ugh, he’s just so infuriating but for some reason, I still can’t give up on him,” Lucille grumbled, and you could hear her restless footsteps on the other side of the phone.

You chuckled at her words but immediately bit your lower lip to muffle it when she snapped at you that it wasn’t funny at all.

You were at a point where you had no idea what advice you could give her in that matter. You were no marriage expert. But you were a good friend, so you listened through her hours-long monologues about her husband and butted in when you could to reassure her. She deserved more than Negan could ever give her because that guy gave her nothing but headaches.

“Maybe it’s just his charm,” you threw in, shrugging your shoulders even though you knew she couldn’t see it.

“Well, I wish this charm of his stopped working on me. Fuck, it’s just as if we’re speaking different languages. I tell him that we’re struggling with money and he goes on with his life spending 600$ for a fucking leather jacket! I just can’t believe it,” she complained, groaning at the memory of their latest fight.

“What an asshole,” Murphy spoke out loud from his place beside you on the couch, his ear pressed to the other side of the phone so he could listen in on the gossip.

You shushed him with clenched teeth, swatting at his arm. He promised you beforehand that he was going to be quiet if he wanted to listen in and keep you company, but he couldn’t keep his mouth shut like always. Annoying bastard.

“Yeah, you could say that. Hi, Murphy.” Lucille laughed on the other side of the line. It didn’t bother her anymore that your friend was so invested in her life’s latest gossip and drama.

“Hello, darling,” the man greeted her back, yanking the cell phone out of your hand. He ignored your loud protests, standing up from the couch so you couldn’t reach for the device. “You know what, you should totally leave that douchebag and go on a date with me,” he joked, a proud grin on his face.

“Murph, not to burst your bubble but you’re also an asshole. Don’t think it would be a huge improvement for her.” You stuck out your tongue at him before jumping up to your feet and grabbing the phone out of his hand.

The man in front of you pretended to be offended by your comment, clutching his chest theatrically. “Take that back!”

You rushed over to the bathroom and locked yourself in for some peace and quiet. Murphy groaned from the other room so loudly that you could hear him through the walls. You laughed at that. He was just like an overgrown child.

“Is he gone?”

“Yeah, he started getting on my nerves,” you admitted, biting your finger in thought. “You deserve so much more, Lucy. It saddens me to hear how he treats you.”

“I just… I can’t leave him. I know that somewhere inside there he is still the sweet man I fell in love with.” You could hear your friend’s voice breaking on the other side of the line, and you had a feeling that tears were already streaming down her face.

Lucille was the strongest woman you’ve ever known, and you admired her so much for it. But everyone has a breaking point where they lose all hope and feel like everything around them is falling apart. You were afraid that your friend had just reached that point in her life. It broke your heart to even think about it and imagine what she was going through.

“Try talking to him, Lucy. You’re both adults, even though sometimes, or most of the time, it feels like you’re the only grown person in this marriage. Words can change so much, sweets. Just try one more time. Don’t leave it like it is,” you encouraged her, hoping that your words would give her at least a little bit of hope. You knew she hated giving up, even when it compromised her well-being; she was stubborn like that.

The woman sniffled into the microphone, making you sigh in sadness. You wanted to hug her and make it all better, but you knew you didn’t hold power like that in your hands. What you could do, though, was distract her, but you weren’t sure if she was in the mood for it.

“Tell you what, how about you come over for dinner and a sleepover tomorrow? Just a little break from it all.” You pinched your arm and waited for her to respond, hoping she would agree to it. You missed her so much.

There was a long pause on the other end before Lucy sighed. You already knew her answer was going to be negative. Scratching your arm, you cursed yourself in your head. You got your hopes up, like always.

“I wish I could, hun, but I have an MRI tomorrow,” she reminded you; you could hear her nails tapping on the counter nervously.

“Shit, it’s already tomorrow? Will he pick you up?” The concern was evident in your voice. You waited for her response with bated breath.

“I haven’t asked him yet, but I know he will. After making me so mad, he knows he needs to make it up to me somehow.” She chuckled, trying to brighten up the mood of the conversation. It worked just a little more than you allowed yourself to admit.

“He has no other choice now.” You smiled slightly to yourself before another negative thought popped up in your head. What if he doesn’t show up? No, you couldn’t think like that. Lucy was right; he had to make it up to her somehow.

“But… If he doesn’t—”

The woman cut you off confidently, “He will. No buts.”

“Lucille, seriously. If he doesn’t, and god I hope he’s not that fucking dumb, but if he doesn’t go with you or pick you up, you call me immediately. I will run there for you if I have to.”

“You’re too sweet to me, hun.”

“Only to you, Lucy.”

The next day you couldn’t sit still for more than five minutes. With your cell phone always pressed into your palm, you waited impatiently. At this point, you didn’t care about whether Negan showed up; you just wanted to hear from her that she was healthy and they didn’t find anything unsettling in the scans.

Around the evening, you heard knocking on your door. At first, you assumed it was Murphy coming over to annoy you for the hundredth time that day, but he had keys. He’d just let himself in without a second thought, and he’d make a lot more noise than that, screaming your name and telling you all about his day before he even knew whether you were home or not.

You looked through the judas, and you had to do a double take because you didn’t expect at all to see the familiar green-eyed woman standing on the other side of the door. You quickly unlocked it with trembling hands.

“Lucy, what are you doing here?” you asked when the door no longer shielded you from her.

“Is that dinner and sleepover proposal still on the table?” your friend asked with tears streaming down her face. Even the smudged mascara on the top of her cheeks and the messy hair on her head didn’t make her look less angelic.

“Of course it is,” you assured, looking her up and down in concern.

Lucille threw her arms around you and burst into sobs. Her shaking body pressed tightly against yours; she needed to feel that you were truly there for her. She just needed someone to care, to be there for her without her having to beg for it.

You could almost hear your heart breaking into million pieces in your chest. You weren’t sure whether Lucille’s presence at your door meant something had happened between her and Negan or that the doctors had found something in the scans. But you cried for her all the same, pulling her into the apartment and kicking the door closed with your foot.

The both of you stood in the middle of the hallway, embraced and in tears for long minutes that felt almost like hours before you managed to calm down enough to lead Lucy towards the couch. You helped her sit down but didn’t let her go even for a second, sticking to her side like glue.

You waited patiently for her to start the conversation herself, no questions asked. Nothing was more important to you than making her feel safe and cared for. You weren’t in a hurry and didn’t want to rush her into something she wasn’t ready for.

After some time, she mustered the strength to speak up, “Thank you for being here for me.” Her voice sounded hoarse, and you could only imagine how much pain her mind had to endure today.

You hugged her tighter and kissed the top of her head. “Anytime, Lucy, anytime. You know that.”

Lucille sniffled, trying to regain control of herself before she sat up straight again and faced you. She played nervously with the hem of your shirt while you raised your sleeve to swipe over her moist cheeks, her mascara leaving smudged stains on the blue fabric.

“Did they find anything strange in the scans?” you asked gently, holding her hand in yours and running your fingers over her knuckles.

Her face fell once again. Lucille nodded and then buried her face into the crook of your neck. She sobbed in anguish, not knowing how to stop the tears from escaping her eyes. Every cry that wracked her frame pierced your heart. You wanted to take all that pain away from her or even just a part of it so she wouldn’t feel so alone in that battle.

Your mind was whirling with questions, but you said nothing. It was all that mattered at the moment to be patient and be there for her. She needed you more than ever. After all, that’s what friends did, right? They supported each other no matter how hard it could be.

You didn’t know how much time had passed before Lucy calmed down and sat up again. Her nose was still red, but she stopped crying. Your hand caressed her messy hair, twirling the random strands between your fingers. You hoped your touch could help her focus on the world outside her mind.

“I have cancer,” she whispered, barely able to look you in the eye.

Your blood turned cold. You’d been expecting something horrible, but this? This was worse than any possible thing you’d considered in your head. You swallowed hard and took in a shaky breath. So many questions raced through your mind that processing them took you a minute. In the end, the only word that came out of your mouth was, “What?”

It seemed to be all she needed to tell you because her shoulders soon shook again. You reached out, put an arm around your friend, and pressed her head to your collarbone as she dissolved into more tears. And just like that, you lost it too.

You had no idea what you could say to reassure her about the future. How could you tell her that everything will be alright without knowing for sure? You would never lie to her.

All you knew was that you loved her. And it wasn’t going away; you weren’t going away. That realization sent your whole world crashing down. But you held her tight and rocked back and forth, trying to console her. For her sake, and yours, you had to remain strong.

You made spaghetti for dinner while Lucy lit up a few incense sticks and candles around your living room, something that always made her feel a little more at peace. She settled down on the couch, wrapping herself in one of the blankets that was carelessly thrown over the backrest. It was her favorite one, made out of thick wool with little pink strawberries embroidered all over the green fabric.

You watched her through the doorway as she slumped down against the couch and pulled the blanket up to press it against her cheek, always amazed by its softness. The corner of your mouth quirked up slightly at the sight.

When you finished cooking, you grabbed two forks and jumped onto the couch, sitting down next to Lucille. You handed her one of the plates, kissing her cheek softly and dropping the remote on her lap. Without a complaint, you let her choose every movie you watched that night, making sure she was busy deciding whether she was in the mood to watch a horror or a comedy, too occupied to let the dark thoughts overwhelm her.

The next day when Lucille returned home, she had no more tears left in her. She left all of her pained cries and the uncertainties swimming around her head at your apartment. You had listened to her yesterday for long hours, staying up till the sunshine slipped in through the blinds. You let her get everything off her chest and offered comfort without expecting anything back.

But she kept a few pieces of information for herself, away from your reach. She didn’t tell you that Negan was fucking her friend Janine and that he lied to her, saying he was “too busy” to pick her up from the clinic. She didn’t want you storming into her house, ready to choke him to death and make him regret being born. Lucille wanted to deal with it herself. Her own way.

@whiskeypowder @hopefulatrocity @witheringblooddemon @humanmistakes @yttricuz @twdeadlysins @donttelltheelff @spidergirla5 @sexyseabass @sweetpotatospock @witchygagirl @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @hopefulatrocity

#the walking dead #the walking dead x reader #twd #the walking dead amc #negan #negan x reader #negan smith x reader #negan smith #negan x lucille #lucille smith x reader #negan and lucille #lucille x reader #angst #the walking dead fic #the cockroach series

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melanieph321 · 4 days

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Ruben Dias x Reader - Set Me Free Part 5/15

Part 6 and 7 are already out on my Patreon for Free!

Warning - mentioning of abortion

Ruben and Carla have grown apart. With Rubens career taking off he leaves Portugal to live the life of his dreams, breaking Carla's heart doing so. Years later, upon his return home, Ruben learns that Carla has moved on, happily engaged to another man, but not any man, Ruben's childhood bully João Mendes.

Enjoy!

"What does that even mean?" Ruben's brother, Ivan, laughed.

"I don't know." Ruben rubbed his temple, feeling a headache coming on upon his return from meeting Carla. He sat slumped down on his parents couch, going through the emotions. "All I know is that I'm getting her back." He said. Having retold his brother about the event.

"By what, begging her until she gives in?"

"No?" Ruben frowned, rejecting his brother's desire to make him feel better. How could he, feel better, when the love of his life was slipping away.

"How then?"

"I don't know, okay." Ruben stood. "But I'm not letting her marry João Mendes, that's for sure."

"So crashing the wedding is it?"

Ruben shrugged. "If I have to. If it comes down to it. When is it exactly?"

Ivan chuckled. "No idea, I wasn't invited."

"Me neither." Ruben muttered.

"Well, can you blame her?"

"Ivan, she's marrying João Mendes, of all people."

"But can you blame her?"

"What?"

"For moving on, I mean? You've been gone for a long time, Ruben. How can you expect Carla to wait around for so long?"

"Because...."

Ivan crossed his arms. "Because what?"

"Because she promised that she would."

********************************************

"So how did it go?"

Carla ignored her cousin, who despite her demands, had waited up for her.

Carla crossed her room and threw herself face down on the bed.

"That bad, huh?"

She groaned into her pillow.

"Wow. This I want to hear." Maria buckled up.

"He's gonna win me back." Carla said, shifting her head to the side. "No matter what."

"Damn, Ruben told you that? Aunt Gloria is gonna freak."

Carla squinted her eyes in pain. "It gets worse."

"Worse?"

"Yes. Ruben thinks I'm still marrying João Mendes."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure. But I think my mother told him that we were still together when he came by the salon the other day."

"The drama!" Maria gasped.

"Will you be quiet?" Carla hushed. "The only reason I didn't bother to correct him was because that seemed to be the only thing stopping us."

Maria frowned. "Stopping you from what?"

Carla bowed her head in shame, blurring out the words. "From ripping each other's clothes off."

"Carla."

"What am I gonna do?"

There was no point in denying her feelings for Ruben, they were still there and still as strong.

"I say, buy the next plane ticket out of here. To Madeira perhaps?"

"I can't?"

"Why not?"

"Because Mamãe needs me."

Carla turned to lay on her back, the tears swelling up in her eyes. Visiting the cemetery today, Carla understood the pain that her mother still had buried inside of her, how lonely these past years must have been without Carla's father around. Perhaps Carla made it worse by announcing her break up with João, considering how happy her mother had been helping her plan for the event.

"I'm sticking around til the end of the month." She said, "My job has already allowed me the leave since I asked for it ahead of my wedding with João."

"Well, I'm leaving after this weekend." Maria said. "And I did not come home to mourn over lost love. I came to party with my cousin who is finally single for the first time in what, twelve years?"

It was strange, but true. Carla met Ruben when they were ten. They got together when they were fourteen, stuck together until she was twenty-three and not long after their break up she met João Mendes. The truth was that Carla hadn't been single for a minute, nor did she know how to be.

"Tomorrow you and I are going to do what single people do best."

"Which is?"

"To shop until we drop, duh."

Carla wasn't one for shopping. To stand in front of a dressing room mirror eventually became dreadful, considering how much weight she had lost and gain during her year of depression. However, she did enjoy strutting through town. Carla spent the next day admiring her hometown by the coast, greeting familiar faces walking by, as well as catching up with her favorite cousin, who seemed to have a great life going on for herself.

"I can't believe you get to travel the world like that, doesn't it get claustrophobic, working as a flight attendant?"

"No. I love it."

"Well, then I'm happy for you." Carla admired her cousin. She was two years younger but had much more confidence than herself, especially when it came to putting oneself first.

"Have you spoken to João lately?"

Carla snorted. "No."

"So I take it he didn't take the break up very well."

Upon their separation João had referred to Carla as an indecisive selfish little child. Words that still haunted her today.

"No. No he didn't."

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry about...."

"Mari? Mari Fernandes, is that you?"

Another familiar face came walking down the street.

"Santina!"

"Mari! Why didn't you tell me that you were back in town?"

The two women rushed to embrace each other, excluding Carla for a good two minutes. Santina was Maria's best friend in high school. Their friendship had been a dynamic one, the two of them often getting into more trouble than they should. But who could blame them when Santina Rivera at sixteen years of age, inherited more money than Carla would ever save up in her lifetime. Her parents death was a tragic way of acquiring her wealth, nevertheless, like Maria, Santina's attitude towards life was nothing short of adventurous.

"And Carla!" Santina squealed, acknowledging Carla who was standing to the side. "My favorite babysitter. How have you been, girl."

Santina was a hugger, a firm one at that.

"Great." Carla groaned.

"Congratulations on your engagement. Everyone is talking about it."

"Oh, no Santi. Carla is not...."

It was impulsive and a bit childish, but stomping Maria's feet was the only way to shut her up. "Aaa!" She groaned, throwing Carla the nastiest of glares. Carla ignored her and smiled playfully. "Thank you Santina, for the congratulations."

"I love weddings, but truthfully when I heard that you were getting married, I thought it would be too...." Santina paused, curiously tilting her head.

"What?" Carla said, feeling targeted.

Santina shook her head. "Nothing, I just remember when we were younger, how you and Ruben Dias used to...."

"That was a long time ago." Carla mumbled.

"God I wanted what you had. He was the hottest guy in school, don't you remember Maria?"

"Thought his brother was hotter." She shrugged.

"Either way." Santina waved. "When did you guys break up? You were together for a long time, no? Even when he was playing for Benfica. Did you move to Lisbon with him or....?"

"A long time ago." Carla clarified. "Ruben and I broke up a long time ago. I'm with João Mendes now."

Carla ignored the chuckles that Maria let out beside her, but she didn't like talking about her business in the street like this, especially not with Santina Rivera, who was a well known gossip. Thankfully Santina took the hint and ended the conversation there.

"You guys are coming to the party that I'm throwing on the beach tonight, right?"

Maria perked up. "Party? What party?"

"My clothing line Saint Sure is celebrating the opening of my second boutique in Lisbon. Please come, it would be really nice to catch up some more."

"We'll be there!" Maria assured.

Carla on the other hand, could think of a million things that she rather fucking do.

******************************************

Except for training with his national team, Ruben came home to relax, to catch up with old friends before heading back to England. However, it was hard to do these things when wherever he went people flocked after him like birds. He used to be able to walk freely in his hometown, which he really enjoyed since it made him feel like a normal guy. But with Manchester City's latest successes it was now nearly impossible to be left alone.

It's the reason Carla left him, Ruben was convinced. She stuck with him through it all. The rise of Ruben's football career happened before her eyes. Carla even made the effort to leave home and move with him when he went off to play for Benfica. Of course, Lisbon wasn't too far from home. Carla often went back to visit her family. However, when Ruben asked her to move to England with him that's when she just couldn't take it anymore. Although Carla made the effort to stay overseas with him for a year, she never really settled down. And Ruben being off training all the time made it difficult for him to look after her, to make sure that she was alright. It was one of his biggest regrets in life, not being able to make Carla feel at home with him.

"Well, well, well. Look who showed up, Ivan and Ruben Dias. To what do I do the honors?"

"Santina, you know us." Ivan smiled, greeting her with a kiss on the cheek. Ruben did the same. "We could never say no to a party, especially if we're celebrating the success of your business."

It was more Ivan who couldn't say no. Ruben only tagged along in the hopes that Carla would be at the event. Santina was a bit younger than himself and Carla, but he vividly remembers her hanging around the two, bothering them as preteen children do teenagers. At that time Carla and Ruben were showing a bit more interest in each other, which people around them had noticed. Their family members called it true love because of the early age that they found each other. Ruben called it a blessing, a blessing that someone as beautiful as Carla even bothered to look at him twice, considering Ruben still had buck teeth during those days.

"Well, to that I am grateful." Santina smiled. "How about a photo?"

A cameraman popped up out of nowhere, but Ruben and his brother complied to pose for a picture. Ruben had to pose for a few more after that, since his appearance at the beach caused a bit of a stir amongst the party guests. It became exhausting at some point, but Ruben found the strength to endure once he spotted her, Carla, and her cousin Maria. She wore a flowery sundress, whilst her cousin wore a bikini. Most people at the party were dressed half naked, including Ruben with his unbuttoned shirt. It was a beach party after all. Carla, however, stood puttering around the bar, looking rather out of place for some reason.

As the party went on, Ruben found himself excusing himself from conversations after losing sight of her. He asked around if anyone had seen her, but no one seemed to know where Carla had gone.

"Ruben." Santina interrupted his search. At that point of the night she was a bit too tipsy for his liking, Ruben who didn't have anything to drink for himself. "Funny how your mother is trying to set us up." She said, slurring slightly on her words.

"Yeah, funny." Ruben turned his head in search for Carla. There was no point in staying if she hadn't stuck around.

"She's not wrong though, we would make a cute couple."

Ruben looked down. "We would?"

Santina shrugged. "I'm a bit embarrassed to say that I've always had a crush on you when we were younger. It got to a point where I used to beg the Fernandes family to let me stay with them, knowing that you were always over at their house."

"Yeah, I wanted to be with Carla." Ruben said, hoping that answer would set his feelings for Santina straight. He also made the mental note to tell his mother to stop setting him up with other women. He only had eyes for one.

"And now she wants to be with João Mendes. Funny how time works."

Ruben clenched his jaw at the mentioning of his name.

"Didn't the two of you get into a fight that one time." She chuckled. "Don't tell me that it was over Carla Fernandes?"

"It wasn't." Ruben grunted, knowing damn well which fight Santina was referring to. The fight between Ruben and João Mendes happened at school, on the football pitch, during a match where his team was struggling and João Mendes had blamed it all on Ruben's terrible defense. It was a silly fight, but Ruben who, even back then, took his dreams of becoming a professional football player very seriously, snapped at the thought of not being good enough. And for the words to come out of João Mendes mouth, had pushed him over the edge.

"Anyway, how is life in England?" Santina asked.

"Great. Have you seen Carla?" Ruben was tired and ready to leave, but not without being given the chance to talk to Carla.

"She left to get some air." Santina muttered. "By the pier, I think."

"Thank you." Ruben said, excusing himself.

He made his way towards the pier, leaving the party behind. His heart skipped a beat seeing Carla's silhouette posing against the descending sun. Ruben knew he shouldn't go, but he couldn't resist the opportunity to spend time with her again.

Ruben found Carla sitting on the edge of the pier, staring out at the waves.

"Hey," she said softly, turning to him.

She must have seen him coming.

"Hey," Ruben replied, taking a seat next to her.

They sat in silence for a few moments, watching the waves roll in.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Ruben. Never been better."

He chuckled at the sarcasm in her voice. He had missed it, her humor.

"Your mood...." He said, careful not to express himself too vigorously. "Does it have to do anything with us?"

"Us?" Carla turned to look at him, her expression furrowed. "There is no us, Ruben. Not anymore."

He nodded understandingly but in the back of his mind Ruben still had hope, he was gonna win her back.

They sat there for a while longer, watching the stars come out and listening to the sound of the waves. As the night wore on, the tension between them eased a little, at least to a point where they both knew that they had to talk about what was really on their minds. Starting with Carla.

"You left me when I needed you the most." She said,

"I know and I'm sorry." He really was. It was shortly after Christmas Eve three years ago that Carla's father grew ill. He died shortly after, whilst Ruben was away, living the life of his dreams in England.

"I was so lost, Ruben. So lost without you and I hated myself for being so weak."

"Don't say that." Ruben stretched out a hand in an attempt to touch her.

A mistake.

Carla shrugged off Ruben's hand, followed by a warning stare for him not to try anything again.

"Carla, you have to understand..."

"No Ruben, I don't."

She stood.

Ruben had to contain himself not to let his gaze wander up her bare legs as her dress blew in the wind. "Carla." He sighed. "Then please tell me. Tell me how I can make things better between us? I'll do anything. Anything."

"Ugh." She groaned in annoyance. "You really don't get it, do you?"

"Get what?"

"I still have feelings for you, Ruben. A part of me has accepted that I always will."

Ruben looked at her, his eyes searching her face. "I still have feelings for you too."

Carla shook her head, as if Ruben was completely missing her point. "We're not good for each other, Ruben. You have your own life now, as do I.

"Fuck that." Ruben stood, his height overtaking hers. "We're perfect for each other Carla and you know it."

Her eyes widened, stunned by the passion in his voice.

"There's no other girl in the world for me but you. I love you Carla."

"Ruben."

He went to touch her again and to his surprise Carla let him wipe away a fallen tear with his thumb.

"I love you too."

Ruben's hand fell. Her voice had been as low as a whisper, nevertheless, he heard it.

"You do?"

She nodded.

It was bold of him, either way, he went for it. Ruben stepped forward and went in for the kiss, capturing Carla's lips with his own.

Her breath hitched as he pulled her flush against him. Her lips were cold in the night, but oh so familiar. Ruben knew the taste of Carla as well as he knew his way around a football pitch. As he felt her ease into him, allowing Ruben's tongue to enter her mouth, Ruben's hand slipped from between her shoulders to her lower back, pressing Carla's body hard against him.

A sigh. Carla let out a sigh deep down her throat, to which Ruben hymned happily against her lips. They made out for a good minute or so, before allowing each other to catch their breaths. Although the dark night, Ruben could tell that Carla wasn't grinning like he was. The opposite. She looked conflicted and angry with herself.

"Ruben." She said, stepping away from him, wiping away their kiss with the back of her hand. "I'm still marrying João."

Ruben's hand went pinch the skin between his brows. "Why, Carla? Why him, of all people?"

"Because he didn't leave." She snapped. "João was there for me when I needed him the most. Unlike you."

"Carla, I told you that I wanted to come back. But your family...."

"My family was only trying to protect me, Ruben."

"Protecting you from what, me?"

She fell silent.

Ruben frowned. "Carla? I would never..."

"I know." She nodded. "I know you would never do anything to hurt me, at least not on purpose."

Ruben shook his head, desperately in need to touch her, to have Carla in his arms again. "How...how did I hurt you?" He asked, desperate to know.

"It doesn't matter, I'm over it."

"Over what? Carla..." Ruben grabbed her wrist before she could turn her back on him. "You need to tell me how I hurt you, it's the only way I'll know how to make things right again."

"You can't!" She cried.

"How do you know, you haven't even..."

"Because, Ruben.....I had an abortion."

Part 6 and 7 are already out on my Patreon for Free!

#fanfiction #football imagine #ruben dias #man city #manchester city #footballer x reader #footballer imagine #football angst #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias imagine

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st-just · 1 year

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Opinions on the novel and novella categories excluding Elder Race?

Okay so, uh, 3 months late finally answering this (sorry - but I DID read Elder Race in the meantime!)

So, novels-

A Desolation Called Peace by Arkady Martine The central metaphor of how an empire can only understand something by consuming/assimilating it into itself was imo well-done, one of the better uses of a hive mind alien I've seen in a while. Mahit and (especially) Three Seagrass continue to be delightful. The whole palace drama plot in the City leaned a biiiiiit too close to 'the Empress is just and good! Sadly scheming ministers and self-interested officials have attempted to mislead her for their own ends' for my tastes, which absolutely made me start rooting for scheming vizer guy out of spite. Still kind of confused what happened to the Judiciary Minister who vanished 2/3 of the way into the first book without comment. Excellent read, would recommend

The Galaxy, and the Ground Within by Becky Chambers Absolutely my favorite thing Chambers has written, but that is a very low bar. There were a few pages of actual interpersonal conflict that wasn't just a silly misunderstanding! (Even if they had apologized and agreed to disagree by the end of the next chapter). In principle I approve of any sci fi with no human characters in major roles. Aeleon demography continues to give me a headache (how do you spend so much time on worldbuilding and just mess up the basic math?) - though honestly Pei's whole conflict over the societal expectation to have a kid would have had a bit more tension/drama to it in a setting where her species was legitimately endangered and at risk of extinction (the sheer angst potential!) Anyway, yeah, well-executed but Not For Me.

Light From Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki I did, uh, not much like this book. In a 'spent a couple hours cathartically ranting about it on discord after finishing it' sort of way. The central romance didn't work, every character arc was perfectly predictable, the whole incessantly hammered home bit about the magic and wonder of home-cooked food just makes me want to gag, I can kind of see what Aoki was going for with the sci fi half of the worldbuilding but it just didn't work at all, and so on. Still not entirely sure what to make of the fact that if you did the 0.5 degree shift necessary to turn the finale into a Christian morality play the quirky alien family plays an identical structural role to where the angels would be. The cursed/demonic-violin repair lady was fun, though.

A Master of Djinn by P. Djèlí Clark This was fun! Nothing hugely ground-breaking and extremely trope-ey, but in a good way? Like the process was clearly 'buddy cop story in into steampunk urban fantasy Cairo' more than anything that evolved naturally out of the characters or setting. But like, eh? The finale involved a giant robot controlled by enslaved ifrit and a mad sorceress trying to restore the British empire attacking the city, nuance and subtlety clearly weren't the goals here. The central mystery was barely a mystery, though. You could pick out the villain by the end of the first act like three or four different ways. Still, yeah, great time. Very pulpy.

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir If you don't know that this is by the The Martian guy going in, it will be extremely clear by the time you're 50 pages in. It's a writing style with a real personality bleeding through - if you don't like it, the book will I'm sure be torture. But anyway, I'm a sucker for first contact stories and properly weird but still sympathetic and agentic aliens, and that's the beating heart of the story so I mean, of course I enjoyed it. The science also all seemed plausible/not-obvious-bullshit to me, and Weir did a really good job of getting tension and drama without ever making anyone a villain, with all the threats being faced being natural/environmental. Fun read, assuming very high tolerance for technobabble and also magic amnesia that you don't apply anywhere near the standards of the rest of the books' science to.

She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan I mean the whole premise of 'mythic/low-fantasy retelling of the founding of the Ming dynasty but with lesbians' feels like what you'd get if you simmered down my reading consumption of the last year or two and poured out the reduction. So like, yeah, of course I liked it! Probably would have been my vote for winner, though not at all sad that Desolation got it instead. As a character type, I really, really love the whole 'arranges everything to work out perfectly through desperate, furious scheming, then absolutely never breaks character and insists it must be providence and they're but a simple monk/scholar/whatever" so Zhu's whole bit there was just catnip to me. The whole melodrama in the mongol court was great, too. And how can you not love a book that ends with the heroine murdering the messiah in cold blood?

novellas-

Across the Green Grass Fields by Seanan McGuire The only other thing I'd read by McGuire before this was Middlegame, which may have given me unrealistic expectations but, like, this was fine? Or, like, I get the sense that this is very much a YA/Middle-grade book, insofar as it really feels like the literary equivalent of a tv special you'd watch with your kid niece and nephew because hey, it's not painful for you or anything? Really funny that this exists entirely independently of the apparently-a-real-thing cartoon Centaurworld, though.

Elder Race by Adrian Tchaikovsky This was fun classic sci fi. Like, really classic - I kind of thought 'fantasy setting that's secretly a post-apocalyptic sci fi setting where all the 'magic' and 'monsters' are just poorly understood hypertech' went of fashion with the millennium. Anyway I adore things that play with POV and have different people see the same events and process/interpret them radically differently, so the whole book was catnip that way, and it managed to authentically feel like just a small slice of a vaster, weirder universe, and both deuteragonists really work for me. Don't have a solid pick for my preferred winner but this is one of the two I'm torn between.

Fireheart Tiger by Aliette de Bodard First and so far only thing by de Bodard I've read, which I should probably fix given how big a name she is. Anyway, this was fun! Nothing too groundbreaking, but that is 100% down to my reading habits rather than, like, 'lesbian court drama in a fantasy analogue of an asian country under threat of colonization' is an over-filled niche, or anything (really the only surprising thing was that I hadn't read this already).

The Past Is Red by Catherynne M. Valente The other one I might have voted for. On the level of stories she's a bit hit and miss but on the sentence-to-sentence and paragraph-to-paragraph levels Valente is seriously one of my favorite writers working, and this was no exception. Just an absolute delight to read. Also, 'post-apocalyptic magical realism on the city-sized garbage heap floating in the ocean populated by a culture of survivors after the world drowned' is just a great premise. And my shriveled husk of a soul appreciates just committing to the character study and the ruin and the elegy without giving into the urge to make a grand redemptive quest of it all.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers I, uh, liked this significantly less than Galaxy and the Ground Within. Utopias are basically necessarily didactic but, like, you really don't have to lean all the way into literally having the heart of the story be conversations between the protagonist and a sacred and innocent alien whose always correct about everything. Also the whole 'we 100% could be immortal but we chose not to because, like, nature or something. Aren't we so amazing?' thing with the robots is bullshit. Which, combined with the entire aesthetic of the world just left be feeling peevish and asking questions which really weren't the point (Where are the mines? The foundries? You can't make solar panels or modern antibiotics in a basement workshop! And you sure as hell can't cobble together and repair fully mobile and sapient robots in a cave with a box of scraps.)

A Spindle Splintered by Alix E. Harrow So it's not that this was bad, exactly. But, like, I feel like it should have come out sometime in the '90s? (Okay without the explicitly gay bits but that's a matter of a few sentences tbh). Like, the deadline for metafictional feminist retellings of classic fairtails being genuinely novel or subversive was sometime before Disney got in on the game, sorry. Also, like, I'm sure it's just down to me being a weird morbid kid, but the whole shocking revelation about how fucked up the original Sleeping Beauty myth is was, like, something I knew before I hit puberty? Only other thing of Harrow's I've read was the Ten Thousand Door's of January and I'm really, really disappointed comparing them, honestly. (Also, as a general rule I dislike anything where it's very clear whether you're supposed to like or trust a character from the scene they're introduced and this is never wrong)

In other categories L’Esprit de L’Escalier should obviously have one novelette, "Where Oaken Hearts Do Gather" short story, Terra Ignota series, and Monstress comic, based off the foolproof criteria of 'those are the ones I've read'

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fireemblems24 · 1 year

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Azure Gleam Ch 7

Man . . . my "only use one unit" thing is really going to make this . . . interesting. . . .

STORY

Man, I use Dimitri, Rodrigue, and Dedue. And now all 3 are gone. Nooo. Whyyyyy. That's ok. I'll just grind Ingrid, Sylvain, and Felix up a few levels if I can't catch them up bc Dimitri's MIA. If I can just give them a few levels, we'll be good lol.

So Sreng caused trouble, but not as much as it sounded like. Relief that Sylvain's dad is ok.

Yeah, they're luring Dimitri into something, aren't they? Cornelia? Is this why Dimitri's MIA? Story stuff.

Shez is like let's go Felix. I agree.

Unless this soldier is a liar.

Love seeing Felix get to call shots for real though.

Sylvain's like we have to get to Dimitri. Felix says Dimitri manages to give him a headache when he's not even around, lamo. Accurate. The Dimilix is strong in this one and I'm not angry about it.

MAP/SIDE BATTLE

Yep, like I thought, Rodrigue, Dedue, and Dimitri are gone. But I CAN level anyone up to 30 where Dimitri is, so I'm fine. I'll just give Shez and co a little boost. Plus, it's a good excuse to use Felix, Ingrid, and Sylvain a bit. Mercedes too.

"King Awakens" is the chapter name. Looking forward to this. Something is obviously about to go down. I'm worried though. This is obviously a parallel to the AM chapter where Dimitri retakes Fhirdiad in AM, so what happens this time then?

Kinda torn about this. Some of me wants it to be another "Dimitri the good king" kinda moment, like a big positive growth thing going on for him. But another part of me wants Dimitri's proper villain arc. But I just don't see that happening unless they killed off Dedue and Rodrigue, but if that happened, I would've gotten more comments. Either way, I'm stoked about this.

Petra's thoughts on Sreng is interesting, esp since she called it peace between Brigid and the Empire despite her not willingly being there.

Man, I feel there is just so much more going on in this route than the other two, with Miklain, the mystery of what's happened to Dimitri, drama with Sreng and the Empire that's a consistent threat (and not like what just happened in GW).

Duke Ifan sounds like a badass, people are like "no way she'd let someone invade." I wish we'd get to see her, but since she's a woman she won't get a unique face, that's reserved for Dads only.

Felix's dialogue was interesting. It starts like he's repeating one of Dimitri's lines about the dead and ends with him understanding and sympathizing with Dimitri more now that he knows what it's like to lead.

I'm really interested to see where this leads for those two. I'm so happy Felix is getting all this attention. Man, my Dimilix heart is loving AG so far.

Of course it's Cornelia and the Western lords. They're the reason we haven't heard from Dimitri :(

So that bitch threatened the people and Dimitri surrendered to protect them 😭😭😭😭😭 Of course he did.

But if they haven't heard from Rodrigue or Dedue, that means they got away. Gilbert is probably ok too.

Will Dimitri still have two eyes after this? Or is he going to get one taken out again 😭😭😭

Shez is so worried 😭😭😭

Felix called him "our fearless leader" that's not the first time I don't think. You know, I'll take that over boar.

So we'll be doing the prison break this time. Cornelia better not have hurt him unlike last time. Or that this doesn't cause him to "snap," because this is like the only route that's different so far. I love that story line, but I want something new.

Oh, Dimitri. I wish he would just behead Cornelia. He could crush her head with his hands probably. You know the only reason he's not is to protect his people 😭😭😭😭😭

Rodrigue and Dedue are trying 😭😭 Don't worry, Felix, Shez, and everyone are coming.

She's boasting that she'll hang Dimitri in front of all of them. God, I can't wait to kill her. And get Dedue, Rodrigue, and Dimitri back.

I reallllly am dying to see this reunion. Felix is going to let Dimitri hear it lamo.

Lamo, Dimitri's like "I almost appreciate such bald faced sadism." Cornelia's like "such flirting."

She's also like "you deserve this for reforming things." What a bitch.

You know Dimitri is probably blaming himself for this. For pissing off the Western lords, who are unquestionably awful. Someone get in there before he gets too far into his own head 😭😭 Well, someone other than Cornelia, who sure loves to gloat. She's so evil. I love it.

Dimitri gets all the best villains Cornelia (hammy fun villain) and Edelgard (interesting, personal, complex villain) are wayyyy more cool than "exists" Nemesis and CF!Rhea (Rhea is awesome, but my God they made her one-dimensional in CF). Not gonna lie, though, it would be nice for Dimitri to get to punch TWSITD as a whole out on purpose and hoping this game will let him.

Catherine just mentioned Shamir. Is her girlfriend showing up soon? Please tell me they have supports in this game.

Poor Ashe's like "our King is suicidal." Poor dude can't catch a break this game.

Sylvain's ready to lecture Dimitri about his recklessness. Good.

SYLVAIN & MERCEDES B SUPPORT

This is their only one. I'm bummed.

The boys and girls are flirting!!

Mercedes is engaged? To someone from Gautier? It's just her father again.

Mercedes has no interest in this guy. It would've been pretty funny if she got engaged to some random guy lol.

Mercedes is a confirmed heart breaker, getting tons of proposals.

Sylvain just proposed to Mercedes lamo. He's offering to marry her just to block anyone else so Mercedes can live how she wants. 😭

HOW THE FUCK IS THAT THEIR ONLY SUPPORT 😭😭😭😭😭

They had, 1, 1 support, and it was a better romance story than most novels. 😭😭😭

The background music was so romantic too.

Guys, I propose all the Blue Lions just enter a poly marriage together, then I won't have to ever sort out all my ships.

SHEZ & INGRID B SUPPORT

So far just talking about some mercenary crew. Shez's old captain used to be in there.

This merc was super loyal to a noble and would help out with even farming and building stuff. Wonder where this is going.

Shez's whole point to this was telling Ingrid no one is tied to their role and can do what they want. The whole Ingrid struggling with being a noble and knight.

Oh, cool! Ingrid's grandmother knew Tobias. Nice tie in.

SYLVAIN & INGRID B SUPPORT

Oh, this is their first one!!!

Sylvain brought up someone acting up and Ingrid suspects Sylvain is talking about himself lamo. He's not.

Ingrid is just satisfied as fuck, because Sylvain now has to deal with someone like she used to have to deal with him, lamo.

Sylvain feels pressure to feel like the mature one of the group. Ah, that's cannon!!! Everyone always suspected he felt like he had to be the older brother to everyone.

Ingrid is just soaking this in. Queen deserves it.

Awww, Ingrid said she would've just abandoned him if she was really miserable and actually seemed to enjoy covering for Sylvain, on some level.

Basically the whole "we aren't kida nymore. We've grown up, hunh." Stuff. I love it. This is why you end up loving all of the Faerghus Four. Because they all build off each other soooo much.

HAPI & BERNADETTA C SUPPORT

Bernie's bug hunting. And when Hapi talks to her assumes Hapi's trying to kill her for no reason. So typical. Bernie is this close to being a good character is the game took her seriously.

They both enjoy carnivorous plants. I think Hapi just likes eating them though lamo.

Yep these two are not having the same conversation.

SHEZ & MERCEDES B SUPPORT

They worked together, and now are having a tea party together. Shez wanted to go out to eat. But Mercie is a lady of class and wants tea.

Mercie likes her sweets.

Ohhhh, Shez's mom incoming. The treats reminds Shez of something her mom used to make.

Sounds like Shez's mom lived the #cottagecore life, picking food from trees to make and living in a forest.

I think Mercie wants to live in the past days. She asks if Shez wants to and seems like she misses living with her mom 😭😭😭

Mercie. No. Why do all your supports get the sad face?

SHEZ & SYLVAIN B SUPPORT

Sylvain's studying magic hardcore. Probably to try and fix the Crest only gets access to super weapon thing.

Also gets to be the Sylvain is actually smart support.

Oh, classic fantasy trope, learning how to weaponize fireworks. Mat Cauthon says hi, Sylvain.

Sylvain's out here about to invent guns to Crests are useless. Empire, you guys are up shit creek if Sylvain invents guns, lamo.

I want guns, AG only route where everyone gets guns and this game ends realllllll fast.

Miklain and Sylvain have different moms?

Sylvain admires Sreng. Good. That's promising for the future.

Oh, Shez is actually smart! Recognizing that when the king shows power (lends Sylvain's family soldiers), then everyone else loses power.

Sylvain loves the Kingdom 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 he's like "he's a half-frozen stretch of dirt, but it's MY half-frozen stretch of dirt. And only home I've got."

Eat shit every "Sylvain makes so much sense in CF" person.

SHEZ & ASHE B SUPPORT

More Shez's mom talk. She thinks her mom was weird and mysterious.

Mystery mom was really smart, knew a lot, and knew magic.

I'm glad some of these are actually about Shez. Helps flesh her out so much. I actually really like Shez.

Awww, Ashe is going to help Shez investigate. Because he knows how it feels. Poor baby looked for info on his parents and couldn't find much. 😭😭😭

Blue Lions need a "sadness incoming" warning on all their supports, ISTG. Or maybe I'm just way too attached lamo.

Ashe is willing to visit the village with Shez in the future to help her find her mom.

This was so fucking wholesome, guys. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

SETETH & FLAYN B SUPPORT

I cannot believe they don't have an A support. Whyyyyy?

Seteth is like "Flayn, you're making yourself useful! How dare you!"

Man, it's weird hearing her call him brother.

Ok, I'll cut Seteth some slack. He's terrified Flayn will fall into an endless sleep again. Poor dude. Right when he lost his wife too.

This support would be so confusing to someone who didn't play Houses.

😭😭😭😭😭😭 Flayn is afraid of sleeping because of this. Poor, baby.

Oh, finally! She called him father 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Poor baby Flayn just wants peace.

They're also so scared of what will happen if they lose the war. Oh, God, I can't keep playing Edelgard's route.

"If I lost you, I'd love the very meaning of my life." - Seteth to Flayn.

Flayn's like I'll eventually grow up, dad. lol. But she won't leave him all alone.

Don't worry, Seteth. I will literally never leave you supportless.

MAIN BATTLE/STORY

Hyped for this one, guys.

I don't want to deal with Cornelia's weapons, ugh.

RODRIGUE AND GUSTAVE ARE OK 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Ifan is alright too. She sounds badass.

But what about Dedue? And Dimitri?

Man, Rodrigue is such a badass.

Western Lords aren't alone. Let me guess, TWSITD? And those two are creating a diversion?

Annette told Felix off, lamo. Saying they need to go help them out. But Felix just wants to rescue Dimitri.

But they know Dimitri won't leave the prison until the people are safe.

Ashe mentioning Dedue. All the points. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

See Felix take command like that does things to me.

Dedue and Rodrigue!!! They're back 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Cut scene in the middle of a battle.

Dimitri's like why did you show up. Idiot. He won't leave though 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 He's too worried about the people. Plus, he's Dimitri, so.

He's like Idk if I die. Dedue is like shut the fuck up, Dimitri. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 "I will not allow it." (is what he actually said and holy hell in a deep, badass voice) Dedue just told Dimitri off. Good. So now we know that Dedue can and will push Dimitri around if need be.

And then hand holding a spear. Because that's not suggestive.

Oh, badass Dimitri in the cut scene. And Dedue got a moment.

OMG. Guys, is that fanservice? I think I just got fanserviced.

They somehow made it Dimilix and Dimidue in the same scene.

Ok, but this game has been serving Dimilix, but can we note Dimitri didn't take Felix's hand? Dedue had to like storm in and put his hand over Dimitri's and force him to pick up the weapon? And it was DEDUE who made Dimitri change his mind? Felix got to lead the mission. Both getting the spotlight.

Guys, like, I need to rewatch that like a thousand times. Because we also can't skip the Dimitri and Dedue being complete badasses afterwards shots.

DIMITRI'S BACK. I CAN USE HIM AGAIN. Ohmygod I forgot how strong he is. 37 strength. WTF Dimitri.

Margrave Gautier just showed up. Holy hell this is epic.

Wait, Cornelia just talked about tearing Dimitri's eyes out. Does this confirm that bitch took his eye in Houses?

Dimitri finished her off with Atrocity. Seems fitting.

Cornelia's like don't kill me! Or the truth will never be known. Dimitri's like ofc, bitch.

So Cornelia arranged most of the pieces of the Duscur. So glad Dimitri's finally getting to ask all these questions 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Edelgard knows what happened to Patricia? Or is Cornelia blowing smoke?

This bitch is about to warp, ugh. Though, that means I get to kill her again, so not too upset.

Man, is AG really going to focus on Dimitri discovering the truth about Duscur and fighting TWSITD because if that's the whole plot . . . I'm so happy 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

But like, why does Dimitri get the whole new plot? Edelgard and Claude are getting crumbs. Oh well.

Dimitri, Rodrigue, and Dedue have rejoined you. Helllll yesss.

Dimitri ready to go after Cornelia. But Felix saying to chill.

Ohhhh Felix got words for Dimitri this time. He's yelling at Dimitri for taking on too much by himself. Calling Dimitri out for not listening.

Ingrid's like, Felix stop. Felix isn't listening.

Dimitri just called killing Rufus "murder." Like stawp. Dimitri, it's self-defense at that point. I swear to God Dimitri would find a way to blame himself for cancer 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

He didn't choose any of this 😭😭😭😭😭😭

He wants to take all the guilt for Edelgard's and Rufus's and TWSITD's actions. Baby, no. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Felix is telling everyone else to tell Dimitri to knock it off lol.

OMG, I'm so glad for this scene. They're all telling Dimitri not to shoulder everything alone. 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Guys, this is the missing scene from AM that I was desperate for.

Guys, this route is like 10000000x better than the other two.

I need to write some kind of hybrid AG/AM route.

Cornelia's in pain. Good. She's getting the Western lords whipped into a frenzy lamo.

And you know what, no Byleth or Jeralt! I'm so fucking tired of them showing up every. single. battle. Good on AG to knock that off for at least 1 chapter. It gets fucking old.

God, this chapter. I'm going to be thinking about this for a long time.

Man, I really am tempted to just drop the other two routes and only play AG. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

xxx

#azure gleam #fire emblem #fire emblem three hopes #three hopes #three hopes spoilers #azure gleam spoilers

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mugenloopdalove · 4 months

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Drabblecember Day 12 - Snowball Fight

Ship: Wallace/Mi (Scott Pilgrim)

Word count: 516

Summary: Mi approaches Wallace in the most mature way possible.

“But the thing is, the Sonic Bible has had basically no bearing on any Sonic media! It’s hardly even been referenced!”

“Uh-huh.”

“Not even the quilting circle thing!”

“Fascinating.”

“Wallace? Have you heard a word I said?”

“Not a damn thing.”

“Come on! This is-”

SPLAT.

From nowhere, a snowball hit Scott hard in the face. “Oh! Jeez, if you wanted me to shut up you could have just said it!”

“As much as I’d love to take credit for that hilarious hit, it came from the opposite-”

SPLAT

This time, Wallace was hit, square in the face, and the assaulter came out from behind the nearby tree, laughing maniacally. “I didn’t think I’d get you both!” He cackled, stepping in front of the two standing with his hands on his hips and feet shoulder-length apart. “So much for ‘Toronto’s greatest fighter,’ huh Scotty boy!”

“You know, Mi, usually people just say ‘hello,” Wallace said dryly. “Scott deserves it, but if you wanted me back, you could have just said ‘Hey! Want to fuck again?’”

“Don’t be stupid! I’m done with you!” Mi snapped with a huff. “And this is my revenge for you breaking my heart!”

“I don’t think beating you in a drinking contest exactly qualifies as ‘heartbreak.’”

“Do you two have to have relationship drama here?” Scott whined pathetically. “You’re already giving me a headache.”

“Shutit!” Mi threw another snowball, but this time Scott easily dodged, clearly frustrating Mi even more than he already was.

Wallace stared his raging ex down for a second before sighing. “Look Mi, why don’t we solve this like adults.” He gathered some snow and packed it into a small ball.

Mi chuckled and took a step closer, lining himself up against his new rival and flipping his ponytail behind his shoulder. “Oh it’s on.”

WALLACE WELLS VS MI WILLIAMS: FIGHT

Snow flew between the pair, some balls missing and some smacking against shoulders, chests, and faces. The two were locked in a fierce dance as they stepped between each other, and Scott was forgotten on the side, staring dumbfounded at this completely pointless battle. It wasn’t long until both parties were laughing as they fought, seemingly forgetting their argument and genuinely having fun.

The battle would be sadly cut short, however. As he stepped a bit too close to his target, Mi slipped on a patch of ice and fell to the ground, knocking Wallace right down with him and landing on top of the other man.

Now laying in the snow, the former couple gazed at each other a moment, panting as their eyes locked. It was mere seconds before their lips met, kissing again and again, each more fervent than the last. When they finally pulled away, Wallace was quick to suggest, “Want to ditch Scott and come to my place?”

“Hell yeah,” Mi responded, getting up and pulling Wallace up to wrap an arm around him.

“You can find a place to stay for the night, right Scott?” Wallace asked as the two walked off. “If not, snow’s not too bad to lay in!”

#my writing #scott pilgrim self ship #drabblecember

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thoughtsbyharu · 2 years

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Webtoon Review: Operation: True Love

Synopsis:

It’s hard dating someone who won’t give you the time of day. Su-ae Shim knows that better than anyone, having dated her indifferent boyfriend, Minu Kang, for years. She sometimes wishes she could be more like her charismatic stepsister, Ra-im, who seems to have it all. But life takes a turn for the weird when Su-ae discovers Jellypop, a sentient flip phone, in her locker. Jellypop has a lot to say about her love life, especially as Su-ae drifts further away from Minu and finds herself running into Minu’s friend, Eunhyeok. Add to the mix a growing suspicion that Minu and Ra-im might be more than friends, and Su-ae might need a miracle to navigate the ups and downs of high school romance!

Source: Webtoon

Status: Ongoing

Genre: Drama, Supernatural, Romance, Slice Of Life

CHAPTER 1-27 Review

I first stumbled upon this web comic on Webtoon. My interest was piqued the moment I laid my eyes upon the cover art because the artstyle is totally my type.

Source: Pinterest

The story starts off in quite an interesting note. The female lead, Su-ae, is in possession of a device where she can see how much love a person will receive and give in their lifetime. If you watched Death Note, she kinda has shinigami eyes but with a cupid filter.

Source: anigliscans

The problem is, she can also see her own love meters but to her shock and confusion, both the love she will receive and give in her lifetime is 0.

Source: anigliscans.com

The premise is very intriguing and promising and the art is absolutely, a solid 10/10, however, the characters are very unlikeable and the story telling is a bit all over the place.

This comic is full of tea, like, there's cheating, jealousy, betrayal, scheming. The drama in its tag is that kind of drama.

The characters just do a lot of questionable and dumb things that make either my blood boil, my head hurt or make me go "wtf?"

Spoiler warning, the female lead is very frustrating because she tolerates her emotionally abusive boyfriend too much. I mean yes I get it, they've been in a long-term relationship and it is hard to let that go but girl, think twice if everyone around you is saying your boyfriend is shit and you need to break up with him. Literally the whole school is aware of their toxic relationship and she still refuses to listeeeen.

It's such a headache when she still manages to forgive him even though he's a straight up asshole. SHE EVEN FORGAVE HIM DESPITE CHEATING ON HER WITH HER OWN BEST FRIEND/SISTER.

I---I am just loss with words.

When she FINALLY broke it up with his boyfriend (now ex), this is where she and the other male lead (EunHyuk) got closer to each other. He is a sweetheart but he's quite rude to her sometimes so I'm a bit neutral about him. Then when it seems like Eunhyuk is developing feelings for her, do you know what Su-ae does?? SHE GOT BACK WITH HER EX.

LIKE???? GIRL WHAT???

She got back with him because her then 0 heart stats suddenly increased because her ex got jealous of her and Eunhyuk's closeness. She then realized that whenever her ex gets jealous, her hearts increases AND THEREFORE, she cooked up a plan to have an affair with Eunhyuk to make her ex more jealous and thus, increase her hearts.

Source:coffee manga

And at this point in the story I was SO done with her. WHY 👏 ARE 👏 YOU 👏USING 👏EUNHYUK. I am just so mad and frustrated that I gave up reading this comic and went on to rant about it to my boyfriend.

The supernatural stuff was interesting but it was overshadowed by the drama that its introduction was kinda awkward and out of place. Latest chapters were very confusing that it felt like I skipped some chapters when I didn't.

Overall, first few chapters were okay but it gets more and more annoying as you read it. It's an ongoing series but will I continue reading it? Probably not.

---------------

Overall Rating: 2.5/5

Reading Status: Dropped

#webtoon review #webtoon thoughts #operation: true love #pure love operation #manhwa #harureviews

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jmeldog · 3 months

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I can't watch duel masters bc of no English so how did you enjoy the katta era

The short version?

It was Mr Bones’ Wild Ride.

The very very long version?

Sorry if this sounds like recapping. But I just wanna ramble about things I liked that stood out to me.

It’s crazy the emotional whiplash one show can put you through.

When I’d started watching Katta era back in the winter of 2022 (yes my watch has taken that long) it would genuinely give me headaches from how fast paced and outlandish the comedy was. It honestly felt like it took hours but then I’d find out I only watched two episodes. And despite all the comedy, it still sucker punched me with heart wrenching emotional moments. The mix of comedy and drama didn’t even feel that out of place. Sure, it dragged on if too many joke eps are in a row, but when the serious moments start I wasn’t like “what is this shit doing in my funny joke comedy show.” Also by the end of it I was starting to lose my mind and really enjoy most of the comedy eps.

It’s like a pendulum that swings back and forth between the extremes of both ends, creating a really…interesting… experience., I used to be really edgy and like only dark things, but in my years I have become aware of how you need light to realize the depths of the dark. And duema is like that but if it punched you in the face.

Being able to see characters be stupid and happy makes you feel worse when things go to shit. And the extent of how bad things can go to shit makes you grateful for having comedy eps.

(I say, like I wasn’t cursing and yelling at comedy eps for how they hurt me by being brain-meltingly insane.)

But to actually talk about specifics in plot and characters, tbh I’d say Lulu and Katta are probably my favorite characters.

To start with Katta, he’s sure a guy to watch. He just does things. And things just happen to him. And as much as I hate to say it he’s a very satisfying character? He morbidly fascinates me. Every annoying trait of his builds a very unfortunately believable profile. He’s a hot-headed, dense, selfish, petty middle schooler who likes curry bread, clout, hamsters, and boobs. He was stillborn, revived by a miracle, spent much of his early childhood in a hospital, and lives in the shadow of his brother who died to save the world.

But I like how even through his denseness, he still cares about his friends. Honestly to the point where he sometimes lashes out with violence before resorting to card games lmao. I’m sorry. He’s funny.

He’s a pretty simple guy with pretty simple wants, and that’s what makes him regrettably endearing to me despite how annoying he and his wants can be. He’s so thick skulled that he plows through most obstacles and nothing seems to ever truly get to him.

He’s a guy that I prayed for the downfall of. But when things actually got to him and he was suffering, I felt bad lol. It’s so jarring to see him sad.

And then he actually developed into slightly less of a bastard!!! He’s still annoying, but he’s truly realized the value of his friends! They keep him from falling to despair! Yay! and he saved the world. Yippee!!!

And for Lulu… as a card game heroine she is so utterly fascinating to me. I’m not like a super card game anime aficionado or anything, but erm. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a heroine they let be as genuinely fucking unhinged as her. Even later Duema heroines don’t match her prowess.

She’s just a normal girl. She’s just a silly girl. She also spent much her early childhood in a hospital. Her forehead shines like the sun. She has a genetic illness that makes her feel sickly and cough a lot. She can break buildings in half barehanded. She’s a little hopeless romantic. She’ll beat anyone who catches her daydreaming. She is on the grindset to marry Katta. She got cucked. The girl who cucked her only did it because she actually had a crush on Lulu and wanted to break her. She’s apart of toxic yuri.

And of course I’m a sucker for the epilogue.

Not only because of my boy Joe, but also because I love seeing how all the characters grew up. Katta and Lulu getting together was expected, but cute and I’m never going to complain. Also Duema was so fucking real for keeping Basa2 together. They’ve healed from wanting to destroy the world and now they can enjoy it!!!! Real!!!!!!!!

I have a lot more things I could ramble about but I’m really just gonna cut myself off here lol. Sorry Gyo, Lucifer, Duemouse, Rare Killers, Kazura, Basa2, and many others, but I don’t wanna make this any longer 💔

Anyway really fun show, I’d recommend it to no one. Stan this fucking thing.

#answered asks #this mel speaks #mel watches katta era #<-yes this isn’t a live watch but I think having my thoughts laid out fits well enough~#anyway yeah. sorry for so much rambling but if you actually try and get my to say my thoughts on duema I have a Lot

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liminalpsych-in-teyvat · 7 months

Text

Notes for A Matter of Duty - Chapter 12 - Sweeping away the fog

This chapter brought to you by: so much whining about writing being difficult, a million adjustments to the outline, lots of cursing, too many episodes of the Writing Excuses podcast, and two weeks of migraine headaches and brain fog (not the fanfic writer's curse for once, just a chronic health condition acting up).

Why is the middle of a story so hard to write???

(Also, I want an award for continuing to work on this every single day despite the lure of Genshin updates. I still haven't started the 4.1 archon quest because I have self-imposed fic deadlines, damnit. Behold my self-control. No, I don't really know how I'm maintaining it. Using every ADHD management trick I have in my repertoire.)

Thanks again to PancakeBeast for beta reading! Also thanks to the Hidden Akasha Records Genshin fanworks Discord for helping with all my weird questions, listening to my rambles, and hosting writing sprints.

Notes and references:

A bu is 1/10th of a toki, the Edo-period hour. One toki is roughly equivalent to 2 hours (varies by time of year and length of day), and so one bu is somewhere between 10 and 15 minutes depending on the time of year.

The Hour of the Monkey is 4pm.

Japan's had a variety of different time divisions over the eras, even within the Edo period itself. I'm going with the 10-day jun here, each lunar month divided into thirds, for simplicity's sake.

Does Mondstadt have a tradition of time off on weekends? I have no clue. But taking weekends off is referred to as a Western phenomenon in Japan, even where they've adopted it, so I'm just going to say it does for the sake of this story.

The yatate is a portable writing instrument from Edo era Japan (and earlier!). It's actually a really clever design and comes in all sorts of shapes and forms.

Summary of the fic itself with content warnings, tags, etc so you can decide if you want to read it or not before you click on the link.

A Matter of Duty https://archiveofourown.org/works/47604337?view_full_work=true

A year after the death of Ayato and Ayaka's parents, the clan succession is contested from within and without. Kamisato Ayato will do anything—anything—to ensure the safety of his family and the stability of his clan.

But powerful supporters come at an unimaginable price. When Ayato's own sacrifices aren't enough, he is forced to involve Thoma in a web of intrigue and exploitation that will push them to the breaking points of their bodies, their minds, and their very hearts.

or: Kushiel's Dart meets Genshin Impact in a quick-scorch-to-slow-burn romantic drama of court intrigue, sexual politics, and sacrifice.

Note: Mind the tags. More specific content warnings will be given at the beginning of each chapter, and the story tags will be updated as needed. All characters in sex scenes are adults.

Rating: Explicit. It's porn with plot. Porn as a vehicle for plot, or plot as a vehicle for porn, you can interpret it either way. (I prefer: porn and plot as a vehicle for ~feels~)

Tags that I'm not actually turning into tags here, but it gives you an idea of what you're in for: Kamisato Ayato/Thoma (Genshin Impact), dubious consent but not between Ayato and Thoma, slow burn, sex ed, first time, self-sacrifice, humiliation, exhibitionism, oral sex, anal sex, bdsm, bad bdsm etiquette, rough sex, breath play, impact play, bondage, service kink, abuse, sadism, codependency, shame, guilt, jealousy, possessiveness, trauma, ptsd, dissociation, political sex work, or sex work for political maneuvering, or political survival sex work if that’s a thing, exploitation, blackmail, political machinations, political intrigue, no aftercare, maybe someday some aftercare, hurt/comfort, mostly hurt for a long time but eventually comfort, oblivious disaster gays, for such socially savvy people they are terrible at personal relationships, dominant Ayato, submissive Thoma, top Ayato, bottom Thoma, Ayato is incredibly parentified, Thoma has no sense of self-preservation, self-sacrifice isn't a contest but don't tell Ayato and Thoma that, it's like the snipe-the-check game at restaurants but with sex and politics, Kushiel's Impact, no really this was in my drafts for the longest time as Kusheline Thomato Fic, everyone's an adult in this timeline except Ayaka, she gets protected at all costs, original characters out of necessity, finding appropriate existing Inazuma npcs for some of these roles was impossible

Full fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47604337?view_full_work=true

Chapter 12 - Sweeping away the fog: Maneuvering, negotiation, and bumping up against unhealed wounds.

Chapter contains: Dissociation. Not much else I can think to warn for, really; let me know in the comments if I missed a relevant content warning for this chapter.

#amod #a matter of duty #my writing #thoma #kamisato ayato #ayathoma #thomato #ayathomato #kamisato ayato x thoma #kamisato ayato/thoma #kushiel's impact

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pashminalamb · 1 year

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One person in my friend group keeps making fun of how I laugh… that’s why every time he’s there I sometimes refuse myself to laugh… It really kinda hurts when I don’t have a best friend, every person I know have their ‘person’ a friend or boy/girlfriend.. I felt alone, even my family is sometimes rushing me to make friends, especially my mom. I’m really trying my best to adjust myself but its really hard when all the people around me are kinda judgmental, and there was one time where my mom said that “my best wasn’t enough”. I also don’t really have time for myself, me and my family live in one house, me, my sister, my mom, aunt, her husband, their child and my grandma. I don’t have any personal space. I can’t even go out on my own because I don’t know how to commute by myself. I really wanna try and start reading but my mom keeps saying that I shouldn’t buy books because their useless and that in the end I won’t read them and she gets mad at me cause I’m wasting her money… its not really my fault for not having time for myself. I don’t have personal space.. I’m also so busy with school its stressing me out and giving me a headache and tbh even catching up on some animes are getting tired for me…

-💙

I'm sorry you had to go through that;

But here's the thing. Sometimes people make remarks without knowing that they've hurt you. Like your friend for example. And in cases like this, you should tell him that what he said wasn't okay. When someone says something I didn't particularly like or is annoying, I will talk back. Holding back is the biggest mistake you can make when you have something to say to someone and honestly, let them have it. Worry about the consequences later. i've gotten out a fair share of relationships and if your heart isn't into it then it isn't. And finding your own person or having a boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't provide any kind of emotional stability or mental stability, it just provides a distraction. And i'm saying this from experience. Cause I've had people who I've connected with- like really well. We understood each other and it was like us in a nutshell yk? I like blueberry cheesecake and so did he, we both used to like the sea, a lot of common things honestly. But he also turned out to be very toxic and the reason why my self esteem broke, I've come a really long way from there. Making friends is something you have to let happen naturally. It's not something that comes overnight and it's something that has to go both ways along with time and effort that you're willing to put into that person. Parents can say mean things. There are so many times when my mom or dad have said or even my siblings. There were times when they used to make fun of me for not having friends and over a period of time I realized that that it is a way of them reflecting their insecurities on you. I know going away to uni seems to solve the issue, but it's like running away from your problems and not solving it. And now when I go for family reunions, I stir drama at the table. If someone says something I don't like, then I stand up for it. I've lived in a shared house as well and it really isn't the best experience when you can't have your own personal space... but I kept in mind to bear with it until i moved out. Nonsense! Any kind of reading is reading - its used as means of learning or experiencing something new. I know that books can be expensive, that's why I always read them online even if having a copy of it is always better. Honestly, all these experiences always teach you something. Like there were times when my mom called me names and said things that hurt me, but that just gave me lessons on what how I should handle things when I have a child of my own someday. Pushing them the right way is important and sometimes parents forget that learning to let loose and giving in isn't bad. It's okay when you're not upto their mark cause they expect too much and its their problem. Not yours.

Take a break blue. Listen to music and do things that make you happy okay? I know it seems tough, but stay strong. And if things get too much, don't hesitate to speak up. Oliver : Stand up for yourself. If you don't put yourself first, you'll let people ruin things you have going for you. Don't let the adults do that. Don't overwork and stress yourself either Bambi. Take a timeout and relax. You did great at the interview and you got big things coming. Let's get this one, 'kay? Sae : Go my little blue heart. Don't hold back.

#belle.☏#.lost sheep : 💙 anon

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share-the-damn-bed · 2 years

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Hello! I just want to say I’m glad you’re back because your gif sets of Jancy really highlight their beautiful love story. I do agree with the previous anon that Nancy’s neutral stance this season in regards to Steve seem to be expanded to everyone in the group she was with this season. The most she opened up to someone outside of UD stuff were Fred and Robin where she only talked about Jonathan. And N not holding on to S after Vecna compared to holding J after the UD tree in S1 speaks volumes

Continuing from the other ask, isn’t showing neutral feelings toward someone worse than showing any feeling? It’s like Steve doesn’t make Nancy feel anything no matter how hard he tries. She pushes away from him after the UD earthquake, doesn’t hold him back after Vecna, and forgets his existence when Jonathan shows up until he mentions him. Narratively Jancy is the only thing that makes sense. If St*ncy happens Nancy will just be a robot with her character development down the drain.

Thank you so much, Anon!! I greatly appreciate your comment and take it to heart. I view gif making and gif set creation as a visual display of my own thematic analyses which end up telling the story of/giving insights into these two characters and the fact that they’re so expressive and have so much chemistry in their scenes together makes gif-ing them so much fun. When the sets end up pretty and eye-catching, that’s just a bonus :)

In regards to Steve and Nancy’s character interactions in ST4, I don’t think Nancy’s muted reactions are an accurate representation of her feelings towards Steve. I think this season focused on letting Steve shoot his shot with Nancy and show he still has feelings but doesn’t let her react so that it can be addressed in the final season. It’s almost like they symbolically slapped some duct tape over her mouth so that she could only minimally respond and that way the story will wrap in ST5 instead of ST4. And I do think there are muted moments with Jonathan as well (Though their interactions were overwhelmingly more heartfelt, emotional, and touching (I’’m totally not biased)). For example, that scene at the cabin is VERY confusing and I really don’t know what to make from some of the lines and character expressions without giving me a headache. But I think what Nancy’s actress (Natalia Dyer) says in her interview with Variety last month rings very true for the whole Steve and Nancy thing:

“What this season [season 4] touches on is the fact that these two people [Nancy & Steve] do care about each other and that hasn’t gone away. What that is and what label you want to put on that, I don’t know, but we see these characters meeting again after growing up and going through life with it.”

Steve is giving off romantic intentions, but Nancy could be (and I believe she is) experiencing admiration, nostalgia, and other non-romantic forms of care for Steve which is beautiful but I wish it was more clear. Remember: Nancy likes Steve, but she doesn’t love him. And Murray is never wrong. However I understand why they chose to make it all vague and that is because they want the drama of a love triangle and that just sucks. But I’ve accepted it.

Look, I don’t really want to make 1,000 more posts on my thoughts on the love triangle and all my conflicting thoughts and theories. Not to mention I have been very wrong before. Look at a lot of my analyses and predictions pre-volume two that are just wrong (but ARE logically sound if I do say so myself). I stand by what I said here (making it make sense) and especially here (insights with distance). But if you (or anyone else) want to message me “so about that whole love triangle thing...” I will happily unload all of my unhinged thoughts on you, Anon.

I still believe in Jancy, even if that means they break up in ST5 and the writers leave Jancy’s ending ambiguous in the final epilogue. I truly believe they’ll find their way back to each other no matter what. And that is beautiful.

#jancy #jonathan x nancy #stranger things #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #I think I censored the only use of the other ship name in the ask #but i'll tag #anti stancy #anti st*ncy #just in case

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lets-talk-spirituality · 1 year

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you are comparing yourself to others to make yourself feel superior. Your decision to work on yourself and not focus on relationships doesn’t mean that those who focused on relationships were desperate. ///

oh i worded that part wrong, my bad, i don't think at all that people who are seeking for partners are desesperate, i said that because when i was younger (like 13-16) my besties had crushes on everyone very easily (i was always the one hearing their dramas when the things didn't happened the way they wanted and giving amout of advices) i wasn't like that, i used to think everyone has a soulmate why don't seek for them or at least a long lasting love instead of these momentary things that often give you headache and tears and heartbreak (which later, when you mature, you may laugh about it and think you were silly)

deep down I understand these things are part of life and we're only 13 years old once, we were all immature at some point but my way of thinking that i mentioned above was just me avoiding more problems than i already had (i dont like talking about the dark side of my life to others but I'll tell you something specific, he was the root of many of the issues I have nowadays) in the middle of the problems, my father wanted me to always study non stop and dress modest, i was nerdy, corny with high grades and now i became a fucking perfeccionist ball of anxiety 🙂 i tried excruciatingly hard to be his perfect daughter I never thought about my wishes, desires and wanting, my personality was all for him. I have problems with him since childhood, i was grown when my mother started to try to give me issues.

I love love but I never threw myself head to avoid disappointments, once i love, i would like to do it freely and blindly, almost unconditional, with someone who is my best friend and partner in crime.

It’s okay! We all don’t always communicate what we mean at times. I just had to point out, one to make you aware how it came across but also to other people who read this blog.

I’m really sorry and saddened to hear about your relationship with your father, it makes me tear up. I can’t imagine how that must feel. My dad had some of that, like wanting me to be a certain way, but not to the level it seems you experienced and ultimately I’m too fucking hellbound independent to care anyway.

I think we’ve talked before ;) I remember your story. I don’t think you’re wrong for wanting that, but it does sound like you may want to work on opening up to things that could hurt you too (I say as someone who struggles deeply with it). There’s this card I have called cracked open and it’s about how when our heart breaks and cracks open it allows the light in, it allows spirit in. We have these moments where we break to become stronger, like scar tissue. I hope at the least you’ll try yo embrace things that scare you because I think what you’ve been through made you feel it’s not safe to share your light. And that’s such a sad world for us, because your light is beautiful. You know I struggled with that too. And a few things, one—flowers don’t care how they bloom, they bloom anyway. And two—what if by hiding your light, you’re actually keeping it away from others. That’s how I started looking at it. Me not sharing my gifts with the world is me stealing that opportunity from others to know me and understand things. It’s like this blog, me not sharing my insight robbed you all the experience of learning what I share. That’s what pushed me to open the blog. Think about what the world is missing out on, by you protecting yourself and hiding. I understand that so deeply but you don’t have to hide anymore anon. You can shine as bright as you want now, a huge fuck you. You don’t know who will see your light, who will be brought out of the darkness from that. You’re beautiful but believe it, do whatever you need to to believe. I love you 💕 stop hiding 😘

#ask box

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demelzahcarne · 3 years

Text

After watching 3 different cuts for scarlet heart, my favourite being the one on netflix korea, i started wondering if such a variety exist for other kdramas as well?

Or is scarlet heart the only one?

Also whats the point from a producer point of view, other than being confusing as hell

#kdrama #love the netflix version for the ultralong rain/cape edit and just hae- soo voiceover #but it lacks another scene i watched on dramacool and that is shite af #this drama is breaking my heart and giving headaches #but its good for wasting lockdown time watching all the versions outthere #scarlet heart #scarlet heart: ryeo

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sundaysundaes · 3 years

Text

Started With A Kiss

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader | Actor AU, Smut, Fluff, Humor | NC-17 | 10K

Summary: Rookie actor, Lee Haechan, desperately wants to get the lead role in the highly anticipated upcoming TV drama. He’s sure he has what it takes to fill the part. Acting as a hero? No problem. Pretending to overcome his traumatic experience? Consider it done. A bed scene? Easy—wait, no. That might be a problem. But he should be fine as long as he gets to rehearse, right?

Warnings: protected sex, oral sex, crude humor, swearing, literally 10k of sex with very little plot, a lot of playful banters between sassy!hyuck and equally sassy!Y/N

Wrote this for my love Kira @flopim who’s been having a tough time lately. I hope this will cheer you up bb! ❤️

“I want you to make love to me.”

Standing there, still dressed in your bright pink pajamas with your hair resembling a bird’s nest, you can only blink once, twice, and several times more because surely, your ears are playing tricks on you. There’s no way that your best friend, the cutely annoying and annoyingly cute, Lee Haechan—the one who’s been practically glued to your skin like a conjoined twin of yours for the last two years—is asking you to make love to him.

Surely, this is not what you’d expected to see when you opened the door to your apartment, ready to bark at whoever it was who dared to disturb your beauty sleep (since it is seven in the morning on a Sunday), only to see him standing in his blue ripped jeans and black Michael Jackson shirt with his cheeks flushed, his bag hanging loosely on his shoulder, brown eyes desperately begging for your attention.

And you’re most definitely sure that he’s not asking you to sleep with him when you still have drool on the corner of your mouth and a terrible morning breath (in your defense, you have brushed your teeth but that was, like, six hours ago).

But when seconds have passed and Haechan still looks like he badly needs to hear an answer, you have very little options but to ask, “You want me to do what to who now?”

Catching a sniff of your mighty dragon’s breath, he promptly takes a step back, scrunching his nose while frantically covering half of his face with the script he’s been holding. “Eew, God, what is that smell?” Ignoring your glare, he repeats his words, voice muffled by the papers. “I said, I want you to make love to me.”

“What—”

“Damn it, woman, just brush your teeth and let me in!”

When he’s stomping his feet while whining that loudly—loud enough for your fucking landlord to hear, along with everybody else in the building (including your cute neighbor, Jaehyun, oh dear God, no), he doesn’t give you any other choice but to invite him in, does he?

You step away from the door, flatly muttering, “Please, come in, why don’t you.” Haechan doesn’t waste any second waiting, making sure to run and stay as far away as possible from you so he won’t inhale the poisonous air that’s tainted with your breath again.

You roll your eyes. Dramatic little shit. But just to be on the safe side, you make your way to the bathroom.

***

The scalding hot shower you just took was comforting but not enough to wash your entire drowsiness away. You’re in dire need of your caffeine intake. “Would you like some coffee, my king?” You ask between a yawn, hands finding their way to the coffee jar on your kitchen counter.

Haechan throws his bag to the floor, body sinking into the comfort of your couch. “With milk, please.”

"I’m kidding.”

“Well, I’m not.” He throws one of those cheeky grins that you adore—no, wait, you hate—as he settles his legs on your coffee table. “Less sugar but more milk. I’m still growing.”

“Growing what, your balls?” You pour him a cup of coffee as requested, yes, because to balance his demonic behavior, you have to act like the perfect angel that you are. “Since you don’t have any?”

“You mean, like your boyfriend?” Haechan retorts before he gasps dramatically, his palm going to his mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t have a boyfriend.”

You hover above him from behind the couch, bringing two mugs filled with sizzling hot coffee. “Want to repeat that?” You tip your mug just a little bit until it nearly spills on his forehead.

Haechan winces, attempting to grin. “I’m sorry, I love you, please don’t ruin my face. It’s the only thing that’s good about me.”

“It surely is.”

“Yah, what does that mean?”

“Take it as a compliment.”

Sitting next to him, you sip your coffee and curse silently when the liquid burns your tongue. “Okay, so what about this ‘make love to me’ thing you said earlier? Please tell me it’s just a figure of speech or something.”

“I wish.” He drags his legs away from the table so he can lay his cup down because apparently, he means business. “Okay, I know you’re gonna kill me after you hear—”

“After? I’m about to kill you now, actually.” You scoff. “Don’t you remember what we’ve agreed on? You cannot bother me when I’m still too sleepy to smack you in the head, Haechannie.”

“When did we ever—” He stops. “Why are you going to smack me in the head?”

“‘Cause you’ll say something stupid.”

“Who says I’m gonna say something stupid?”

“You always say something stupid. You’re saying something stupid now!”

“It’s not stupid.” He sighs exasperatedly but when your flat, degrading stare comes into view, it morphs into a groan. “Well, not that stupid. I’ve thought about this—really thought about it—and I can’t find anyone else to do this but you since you’re the only girl I’m friends with. I mean, I can pick random girls, I suppose—you know how popular I am. They just can’t stop talking about me. My hair, my eyes—”

“—your tiny dick.”

“But I don’t want to break any girl’s heart by doing something that’s gonna make them feel like I’m just using them to get a job, you know? I know I’m hot but these good looks aren’t meant to trample people’s hearts.”

“And you don’t care how I’m gonna feel?”

He has the decency to act like he’s thinking about it, but then, “No, not really.”

“Thanks.”

“Look, I really need your help.” He takes it as further as holding your hand between his, puckering his pouty lips, and blinking his eyes in a way that’s cute enough to leave you in daze so you pretend like you’re about to vomit your insides to cover it up.

Okay, so there’s one thing—one little thing that nobody knows—that you’re too ashamed to admit and that is the fact that you have a massive crush on this boy who sits in front of you with his socks unmatched. Well, no, not massive. It used to be massive during the first few weeks you knew him. How could you not? Haechan was so cute, you wanted to turn him into a doll so you could carry him around in your backpack and squish his cheeks whenever you feel like it. Sure, he’s not all jawlines and dimples like that neighbor of yours (Jung Jaehyun was probably sculpted by God himself ), but Haechan has his own charms. His devilish smirk, his loud, contagious laughter, his naughty eyebrow raise, and his lips—God, his beautiful plump lips, the way they look so pouty and soft. Honestly, you can write a whole essay about his attractive features (not that you haven’t already).

You knew you were crazy for him when the antics he did annoyed the hell out of his friends but to you, he was just plain adorable. And you realized you were pretty much fucked-up when Jeno said, “Fucking Lee Donghyuck said he forgot his wallet and robbed me this morning. Who the fuck orders a freakin’ wagyu steak for breakfast?!” and the only thing you could think of was how nice it was to go on a date with him and how your first kiss with him was going to be like (poor Jeno, though).

It’s not that you love him or anything. It’s mostly physical, nothing more—at least for now anyway. It’s not your fault that he’s so fucking pretty that he ends up showing every now and then in your fantasy, doing indescribable naughty things that will definitely make Mark splash some holy water on your face if he knew what was going on in your head.

Fortunately, now that you’ve been friends with him for two years, that massive crush you had has turned into something normal, something you can easily hide. And can be forgotten even, whenever another cute guy—like Na Jaemin, for example—takes you out on a date or two. It’s easier to breathe these days.

“Hello? Are you there?” Haechan snaps his fingers, waking you up from your reverie. “What’s your answer? Do you want to make love to me or not?”

‘It’s easier to breathe these days?’ More like fucking kill me.

“Can you stop saying that?” You pinch the bridge of your nose. “You’re giving me headaches.” Or a heart attack, more accurately. “Assume I said yes. Don’t you think it’s gonna get a little weird between us?”

“What is so weird about it?” He throws his hands in the air, exhausted and impatient. “It’s just gonna be two friends, pretending to be in love with each other, hugging, kissing, touching, and having sweet, tender sex.” Realization falls upon him and you resist the urge to exhale loudly. “Yeah, okay, so it is a little weird, but it should be fine, right? It’s just acting. It’s not like you have any feelings for me, do you?”

If by feelings you mean picturing you naked in my head with your mouth sucking on my neck, then yeah, I do have feelings for you. Plenty of that. But on the outside, you say, “Eew, God, no.”

Haechan squints his eyes at your response. “Can’t say I’m not hurt with the way you said it, but eew, God, no to you too. Well, if that’s the case then I’m sure we’ll be fine,” he says, sipping his coffee, and retracts his mouth as soon as the flavor hits his tongue. “What the hell is this?! Did you spit on my coffee or something?”

You didn’t but for your amusement, you throw him a sly grin. “A little.” It’s satisfying to see him looking like he’s about to pass out. “I’m still worried how it’s gonna affect our friendship later on though.”

He simply shrugs. “Meh. We’re not really that close to begin with anyway.” He takes another sip of his coffee by accident and nearly vomits for real. “Fucking hell—take this shit out of my face.”

“I'm still not sure about this, Haechannie.”

“Look, I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to you, we’re just going to pretend! Acting!” He exclaims as if that was the most normal thing a friend could ask another friend. “And you’re gonna be acting out a love scene with someone as hot as me. Consider yourself lucky.”

“Consider yourself dead.”

“Damn it, my audition is in two days and I really want to get this role!” He’s whining, tugging at your hand like a baby as he practically throws himself at your feet, graveling for your mercy. “You’re the only one who can help me with this. How can I act properly if I don’t have enough experience to perform a freaking bed scene?!”

“I don’t think actors who have to play dead have enough experience of, you know, being dead.”

“Excellent point.” Haechan stares at you blankly, unimpressed. “Do you hear yourself when you talk?”

“Do you?”

A few seconds passed by in silence with the two of you exchanging sinister glares until he finally surrenders with a prominent pout on his face. “Fine, if you don’t want to.” Haechan exhales dramatically, his shoulders sagging and when you don’t respond, he sighs again only louder this time. “I guess, I have to force Mark to make out with me. Again.” He sneaks a glance to see your reaction. “And have my face slapped with a Bible. Again.”

You wince at the thought. “How did you force him, exactly?”

“Just…” He timidly scratches his nose. “Kinda attacked him in his sleep.”

You nod in understanding even when it’s the most idiotic thing you’ve ever heard. “Well, maybe he would’ve been fine with it if you had taken him out for a nice dinner before that.”

Haechan smiles a little at your words, and even a little glimpse of it is contagious enough to make your own spread wider on your face. Small chuckles resonate through the air and he playfully bumps his shoulder against yours, his palm resting on your knuckles.

“On a more serious note,” Haechan says, “I know that asking you to rehearse a bed scene with me is too much and way out of line. But I swear, I’m not gonna touch you if you’re so uncomfortable with it. Won’t even hold your hand, I promise.” Then he notices he’s still holding your hand from earlier. He drops it immediately, clearing his throat. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” It’s more than fine. His hand seems to fit yours in a way that nobody ever does but there’s no way you’re gonna tell him that. “So, we’re just gonna be practicing lines?”

“Exactly.” He rubs his nape, suddenly a bit bashful. “Well, I was hoping to at least kiss you—just to, you know, know how it’d feel like.”

“You’ve never kissed before?”

“I have, obviously.” He rolls his eyes, disgusted at your question. “I’m not a fucking virgin if that’s what you’re assuming.”

“Chill, don’t get your panties in a twist. Nah, I know you’re not a virgin from how many times you’ve had sex with yourself.”

“Hey!”

“But then, why do you need to practice? Can’t you just go straight to your castmates, and kiss the bejeezus out of them?”

Donghyuck runs a hand through his face. “It’s… I’ve never done it for a role,” he professes, faint blush blooming on his cheeks, “And the scene is supposed to be intimate and I’ve never… You know…”

You gesture at him to clarify more with your hands. “You’ve never…?”

“You know…” The color on his face turns brighter. “T-the thing.”

“What thing? Never made-out in public? Never had sex outdoor?” You act clueless just because you’re liking his reaction. “Never had a finger stuck in your ass? What? Please do enlighten me.”

“I’ve never been in love, you witch!” Haechan is adorable when he’s fuming. Nostrils blaring, eyebrows knitting together in an angry frown, scarlet cheeks all puffed out. He looks like a terribly pissed Pomeranian.

Man, if I could just take a picture. “Oh, okay. So have you had your finger stuck in your ass?”

“I swear to God—”

“Kidding. I know you have.” But even when Haechan is nearly ripping your cheeks apart from your face, your giggles are never-ending. “So, you’re nervous?” You snort, raising an eyebrow. “You, the obnoxious, desperate-for-attention Lee Haechan, are nervous?”

“Will you help me out or not?!”

You pretend like you’re contemplating about it when truth is, every part of your body and mind is just screaming what the heck are you waiting for? He’s asking you to rehearse a bed scene—a. bed. scene! And he said he wanted to kiss you, for God’s sake! So, really, what else is there to say but “Okay.”

Haechan widens his eyes. “Okay?”

“Okay.” You try your best to appear nonchalant. “But you’ll owe me a favor. A huge one.”

“Anything,” he instantly agrees, “As long as I’m not dead, you have my words.”

You’re not yet sure what you’re planning to ask him but seeing his enthusiasm, you know it’s going to be good. “Great. So, umm, do you want to do it now or…?”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“Here?”

“Wherever you want.”

“Man, you’re giving me too much power. I should’ve agreed to this way sooner.” You can practically feel your face splitting in half from how wide you’re grinning. “My room, then? I mean, a bed scene requires… a bed, right?”

Haechan laughs and even after two years, it still sounds like your most favorite thing in the world. “No, it doesn’t necessarily require a bed but sure.” He jumps out from the couch, taking you by the hand, and only by that, you can already feel your heart thumping a tad faster. But the second he walks into your room, he makes a face. “Why does it smell like something died in here?”

“Because something did die. Your dignity.”

The tickling fight doesn’t occur very often between you and Lee Haechan but once it starts, it means war.

***

“Okay, so…” Haechan hands you the script, already opened to show you a page filled with dialogues and short narratives. He scoots closer on the bed, his knee a few inches away from grazing yours as they dangle from the edge. “Just from the top of the page, here.” He points with his finger and you do a quick scan, trying to get a picture of the intimate scene you’re going to do. “So, a quick summary. Your character, Aeri, has been in love with my character, Donghyun. In the earlier scene, you’ve confessed your love to me but I rejected you because we’ve been friends for so long and I didn’t want to ruin what we have. But then, later on, some things happened and I ended up catching feelings for you and this is the part where I’m gonna be telling you how I really feel and then we start kissing and—”

“Then we have sex,” you utter in dismay, but butterflies are erupting from your stomach due to the anticipation.

“No,” Haechan corrects you, “We make love.”

“Is there any difference?”

“There are more feelings involved, not just out of sheer passion. It’s slower. Tender. Intimate.” And when he notices you raising a questioning brow at him, he sighs. “That thing you did with Jaemin? Fucking like bunnies? The opposite of that.”

You mock him by imitating his sigh exaggeratedly and receiving a flick on the nose in return. “Is it just me or is the script pretty lousy?”

He nods. “But they’ll pay you good money for this.”

“I thought the reason you became an actor was to create art not money.”

“When I’m rich, maybe. Right now, I gotta pay for my rent. And apparently, Jeno keeps chasing my ass, forcing me to pay him back. It was just a wagyu steak for fuck’s sake.” He grumbles to himself, momentarily distracted. “Anyway,” he cracks his neck, “I’ve memorized my lines. Wanna give it a go?”

“Okay, let’s try. I guess I’ll be fine if it’s just kissing. Even if it’s with you.” When in reality you’re only agreeing to this because it’s with him.

Haechan’s eyes gleam brighter, ears practically perking up like an excited puppy. “Really?”

“You’re that excited at the thought of kissing me?” You play smug but you could practically hear your heartbeat blasting through your ears. “What else have you been thinking about me?”

“I’m not excited at the thought of kissing you, dumbass,” he spits back, the spark in his eyes vanishes in an instant. “I’m excited that finally I can practice kissing scenes with someone who’s actually willing to do it, and not, you know, like with the back of my hand or something.”

“You…” Failing to hold back a grin, you burst out laughing. “You made out with your hand?”

It’s funny that even when his skin is golden as if it was kissed by the sun, it still shows vividly on his face whenever he blushes. “I didn’t mean it literally—”

“I can’t believe you made out with your hand.”

“Would you just—” He nearly suffocates you with your pillow but you quickly retaliate by kicking him in the stomach.

Tears are prickling at the corner of your eyes. “Man, that mental image of yours making out with your hand will live in my mind rent-free for as long as I live.” When you still can’t stop laughing, Haechan is practically baring his teeth. “Okay, I’m sorry. Let’s get this going. If it gets too uncomfortable for me, I’ll stop.”

“Of course.”

“At any time I want.”

“Your call.” He nods in agreement with the most serious expression you’ve ever seen him do; it almost doesn’t seem like him.

“Good,” you say. “Now, I’ve never acted once in my life so if you laugh at me, I will sneak into your room at night and pour hot coffee on your computer.”

There’s fear fleeting through his eyes but he gives another nod. “Deal.”

“All right…” You take a deep breath, willing your heart to stop hammering against your ribcages, and for once, focus more on the script instead of the shape of his pretty, pretty mouth. “What are you doing here?” You follow the script, voice a little bit shaky as you’re still embarrassed with everything you’re doing. Haechan closes his eyes and you’re about to throw a joke to tease him about actor Haechan coming alive but when he opens them and gazes at you, you sit still, frozen.

“I wanted to see you,” he says, voice so delicate, it startles you. He’s so serious about this that you don’t find the strength within you to tease him like how you usually do. Somehow, the little gestures he makes, the changes in his expression alter the air along with the tension in the room. Suddenly, it feels like you’re standing next to him under the spotlight, hundreds of pairs of eyes following your every movement.

“It’s—” You swallow your breath, tongue lays heavy in your mouth. “It's pouring outside, why are you—”

“I love you,” he vocalizes, his eyes gentle and heartbroken. His voice suddenly sounds a pitch lower, reverberating through the air until it sends goosebumps to the tiny hairs on your nape. He waits for your reply and you have to blink twice to slap yourself back to reality.

“W-what?”

“I’m sorry it took me this long to realize, but I do. I’m in love with you, hopelessly so.” He reaches out to cup your cheek, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. Though he has pretty hands, his fingertips are not as soft as you had imagined them to be, but they feel better, feel real. His warmth is unfamiliar to your skin but it feels more pleasant than anything that ever touches you. “Maybe you’re unaware of this, but it kills me to know that I’ve hurt you because I simply couldn’t be brave enough to accept my feelings. The reason why I didn’t want us to be together was because I didn’t want to ruin what we have, not knowing that we could be something more.”

Haechan’s lines fit your situation so much that you wish he wasn’t acting. It’s amazing how he’s changing into an entirely different persona and yet, it feels so natural as if he has been that person all along. Your breathing gets heavier as you take a brief look at the script, searching for your lines. “This feels unreal…”

“Do you still love me?” Haechan lifts your face by the chin, his touch is paper-thin.

You wet your lips, head swirling. “But Donghyun—”

“Do you still love me?” He repeats, emphasizing with his tone. His eyes are peering into yours and you wonder maybe the quote eyes deeper than the sea refers to his gaze. “Or is it too late for me?” His thumb drifts to your lip, caressing your bottom one, your lip balm sticking to his skin.

“I do,” you reply. He’s so pretty. You’ve never taken a glance longer than a few seconds at his close-up face, but now that you’re in this close proximity, you can finally witness the two tiny moles on his cheek, the beautiful shape of his dark eyes, the delicate curve of his lips… “I do love you, Donghyuck.”

A few seconds of silence hangs in the air when Haechan stops, his eyebrows furrowing. “Umm—it’s Donghyun, actually.”

Fuck! “Right!” You nearly leap out of your bed, face aflame. “Donghyun! Of course! I don’t know why I said that. Donghyuck is your name, I know that—” Fuck, fuck, fuck, just fucking kill me. “Sorry, umm—nervous.”

Fortunately for you, Haechan buys your bluff. “Rookie mistake,” he chuckles and you exaggeratedly roll your eyes to play along. “Okay, let’s start over. Do you still love me?”

“I do,” you respond too rigidly, making him glance away so he won’t break into laughter. “I do love you, Donghyun. Dong-Hyun.”

“Good,” he improvises, as it’s not written in the script. He has a tiny smile on his face and you like to think that it’s just him doing a terrible job at hiding his amusement. But when he swats your bangs out of your eyes, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, he seems like he’s seeing the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his whole life. The adoration in his eyes, his loving gaze—they are so vivid, they nearly consume you. “Because I don’t think I can resist this any longer…”

You’re lost in his eyes, lost in his touch, lost in his warmth. It’s until Haechan nudges his head slightly, indicating you to wake up, you’ve got a line to say, that you jolt, eyes hurriedly going down to the script, seeking your lines. “Umm—“ You flinch. You sound so jittery, it’s terrible. “R-resist what…?”

But Haechan doesn’t pay a mind that you just stuttered from saying two words. He doesn’t ask you to start over. Instead, he presses his forehead against yours, his breath mingling in the air and you can taste the scent of sandalwood and summer. Combined with his soft breathing, you’re almost stuck in a haze, just reeling in the feeling of how this man is now closer to you than he has ever been in the past two years and it’s better than anything you’ve ever imagined.

“Resist this,” he whispers and before you can look down to check whether you have more lines to say, Haechan dips his head, his lips brushing against yours, ever so faintly at first but when you gasp, he presses harder, framing your cheeks with both hands before he moves one down to your waist. Unlike his fingertips, his lips are soft—softer than silk or the cotton candy he once bought you. But it’s not the way they feel or the way he tastes that distract you the most. It’s the way he moves them, parting his lips slightly so he can blend with yours, your lower lip fits perfectly between his plump ones. It’s the way he sighs, so contentedly, as if kissing you was everything he ever wanted.

You close your eyes, hands reaching up to his collar, wanting to feel him more, wanting to touch him—

Haechan breaks away, placing both hands on your shoulders. “How was it?”

You’ve never had someone splash cold water on your face but you figure it might feel something like this. Your voice grows hoarse when you speak. “How was what?”

“The kiss!” Haechan’s eyes are filled with concern, analyzing your expression. “Was it romantic enough? Tender enough? Did it properly convey the desperation and longing my character feels for yours?”

You knew this was a bad idea. You fucking knew it. So, why are you still hurt when he acts like he feels exactly nothing by that kiss? This is just an acting lesson for him. You should have been prepared.

“It’s good,” you answer, averting your gaze and hiding your eyes behind your bangs. Your heart is still running a thousand miles an hour but somehow, it doesn’t feel as pleasant as before. “So, next scene—”

“Wait, are you okay?” Haechan asks, bending slightly to catch a glimpse of your face. “Was it too much? Do you want to stop?”

Truth is, you’re conflicted. You’re going to catch feelings—you most likely already are. But Haechan only treats you as a friend and nothing more, and this is the only chance you have to be this close to him. The temptation of continuing the kiss, to just hold him close for one more time, stands stronger than anything else so you say, “No. I promised you I’d help.”

He’s still unsure, eyes glinting in concern. “It’s okay if you want to stop, I—”

“Let’s just do the damn scene, Donghyuck.”

Haechan freezes on his seat, eyes searching yours as you now have the bravery to look at his face. Knowing you came on too strong, you try to ease it off with a smile. “I’m fine, don’t worry. It’s just my first time doing this—acting, I mean. Can we try again?”

He spends another few seconds trying to decipher the true meaning behind your smile but eventually nods his head at your command. He drags his finger back to the script. “Then, umm… Let’s start from here?”

You don’t even look at the page when you give affirmation. “Go.”

Haechan takes a moment to prepare himself and when your eyes meet each other again, he’s a different person once more. “The reason why I didn’t want us to be together was because I didn’t want to ruin what we have, not knowing that we could be something more.” His voice is so soothing, you almost forget that deep down you’re immensely upset knowing that the kiss didn’t have the same effects on him.

This time, when he frames your face with his palm, you lean into his touch, eyes never leaving his. “This feels unreal,” you say and for a second—just for a split second—you notice Haechan breaking out of character, surprised by the gentle expression on your face. Because you’re not acting out his script, you’re acting out on your feelings. It’s your only chance to be honest with him without forcing him to respond. So you pour all these feelings you have for him out in the open—ones that started from a mere physical attraction to something more as his presence grew bigger in your life, you’re acting out each and every one of them.

“Do…” He inhales sharply, trying to focus. “Do you still love me?” He’s doing the same thing as before, placing his thumb and index finger on your chin but before he can say his lines, you see how his eyes fall on your lips.

And you kiss him. You kiss him with everything you have, hands going to his face, fingers slipping between his strands, and Haechan gasps against your mouth, his fingers curling around your wrist. You know he’s about to push you away so you quickly murmur, “I do,” against his lips, breath stuttering, “I do love you.”

When you take his bottom lip between yours, teeth grazing against his supple skin, Haechan lets out an involuntary moan at the back of his throat. The butterflies in your stomach come alive, pumping a rush of adrenaline through your veins and suddenly, you’re brave enough to glide your tongue across his lip. His hold tightens around your wrist but instead of pushing you away, he tugs you closer and you fall into his chest, hands breaking free from his grip to wind around his neck. Your fingertips are scraping against his nape before they move upward to yank at the roots of his hair. “Fuck,” he breathes out, almost inaudibly, as if he didn’t mean to let the word slip from his mouth and it makes your heart jumps straight out of your chest. The second he responds properly, Haechan kisses like fire, all passion and urgency, and you really don’t mind being consumed by his flames.

His hands are on your waist, pulling you closer and closer until you’re almost sitting on his lap before he jolts awake, pushing you away so abruptly, you almost fall from the bed.

“I’m—We—” he stammers, looking everywhere but your eyes. His cheeks are flushed, his lips bruised and red from your kisses. “I think we should—I gotta go—“

He stands up from the bed like the sheets are catching on fire, picking his script from the floor and gathering all his belongings at once before he runs toward the door. He turns on his heels, wanting to say something to fix the goddamn situation, but when his eyes land on yours, his words vanish without a trace.

“I—I’ll call you later,” he finally says and doesn’t wait for your response. The front door closes with a thud.

And then silence comes to answer.

What just happened?

Your heart is thundering inside your chest, you’re starting to feel nauseous. What have I done? You keep asking over and over. You thought everything was going to be fine. He responded to your kiss earlier, didn’t he? You were sure you didn’t imagine the whole thing. But now he’s gone and you’re not sure whether he’s gonna come back as the same Haechan—the old, bratty but caring Lee Haechan. The one who snickers loudly when you fall face-first on the ground but always steals secret glances at you to make sure you're not hurt. The one who makes jokes about your love life but never forgets to show up at your apartment with a thoughtful gift right at the minute you turn a year older.

Things are not just gonna get awkward, they’re ruined.

When nearly half an hour has passed by and you’re still left alone in your apartment with no signs of him coming back, you’re about to go insane. You can’t stay still, walking back and forth your living room with the tip of your thumb between your teeth.

Should I chase after him and explain that it was just me trying to improvise? You hesitate with your hand lingering on the doorknob. But with your knees nearly giving up under your weight, you decide to stay put. It will probably just gonna make it worse. He’ll see through my lies, he always does.

You’re straying away to the kitchen, hands placed on the counter. You can feel your head spinning, stomach somersaulting. Damn it, why did I have to do that?! Why couldn’t I just—

The front door slams opened and Haechan barges in with his hair messy, ruffled by the wind, and his bangs sticking to his temple. Stunned, you stand still on your ground. Your heart is the only one that’s moving beyond control. His eyes scan your apartment until they land on yours and for an instant, everything seems to fade away.

“Fuck it,” he says, dropping his bag to the ground and making his way towards you in such a hurry, he nearly trips over his feet. “You’re not that good of an actor to be faking it.” Before you have the chance to even take a breath, Haechan’s lips are smashing against yours.

“Hae—” Haechan’s kiss is insane. So forceful that you can barely keep up, taking every bit of air directly from your lungs. He has you backed against the kitchen counter, the marbled edge digging into your skin. His hands frame your face, sliding against your cheek until they cup the backsides of your neck, his thumbs resting against your ears. You curl your fingers around his wrist, gasping, “Wait—”

He pulls away, lifting your face so you can’t bring your gaze anywhere else. “You like me?” His eyes are just as intense, begging for answers. “Please tell me I’m not imagining this.”

But behind that passion, his confidence is wavering. You can tell by his quivering breath, the little tremble running through his fingertips, and at that, you’re drowning in relief. You don’t think he’s that good of an actor to be faking this too.

“I do,” you admit, heart pounding so loudly that you can barely hear your own voice. “I like—”

His mouth is on yours again and it feels like he’s kissing you in a hundred different places at once. “Jesus Christ, why have you kept quiet about this for so long?” he says, tasting your breath and skin at the same time. “Two fucking years. We wasted two fucking years.”

The words this isn’t happening endlessly run through your head but all your senses scream that Haechan is really here, in your arms, his nails clawing against your shirt and there’s nothing left you want from this world.

When you reciprocate to him properly, your palms sliding up his chest, over his shoulder, until your arms circle his neck, Haechan sighs in content. His kisses grow slower—more relaxed—but deeper, his tongue peeking out shyly at first but not for long. He still tastes faintly like the coffee you made and something else entirely different. Something pleasant that’s just exactly how you’ve fantasized him to be, if not more.

He pulls away to catch his breath with his eyes still focusing on your lips, thumb rubbing your lower one. “Does this feel weird to you?” He whispers, his temple pressing against yours.

You’re intoxicated by his sweet scent though you’re not sure whether it’s the smell of his shampoo, his cologne, or just him altogether. “No,” and as soon as the word comes out, his lips are chasing after yours once more.

“Good, ‘cause I don’t think I can stop.” He’s breathing heavily against your mouth as you are against his. With his fingers twisted in your hair, making a messy ponytail out of it, Haechan peppers open-mouthed kisses on your neck, tongue pressing against your pulsating vein and a whimper escapes your mouth.

Your dreams, your fantasies—they all fall pale in comparison to reality. When you vocalize his name, it almost sounds like a plead and Haechan slants his mouth back on yours again, giving you another taste as he is not satisfied with yours just yet. “Your lips taste amazing,” he breathes out and it’s so quiet, it seems like he’s intending to say the words in his head and not with his mouth. But as his words fall on your ears, they send tingles down your spine.

“So do yours,” you reply, attempting to make him blush in return but if he does, he doesn’t show much. “Never pegged you as a man who wears lip balm.”

You can feel his smirk directly with your skin. “I’m not wearing any.”

“You’re not?” You lightly giggle, swiping your tongue across his lower lip. “Then your lips do taste amazing.”

Haechan’s hand is slipping underneath your shirt, fingers hovering above your bra. “Guess there are still a lot of things you don’t know about me, huh?”

“I’ve got a hunch you’re about to teach me?”

“Only if you’re eager to learn.”

The kiss becomes heavier that you’re lost for words, entirely consumed by his passion, until he breaks away, muttering, “Off, off, off, off, off,” as he struggles to tear the fabric away from your body. You titter at his desperation, raising both hands to help him out of his misery. The second it’s off, he lifts you by the waist and places you down on the counter.

“I’m amazed you could lift me,” you coo, admiring the sight of his lean stomach as he pulls his shirt over his head. His silver necklace hangs loosely around his neck and you hook a finger around it to yank him back to you.

He doesn’t seem to be able to detach his lips from yours for too long, especially when you keep sneaking glances at his. So when he speaks again, his every word is painted directly to your skin. “It wasn’t easy.” He settles between your thighs, mouth latching against your collarbone. “You weigh a ton.”

“Yeah?” You bite your lip, holding back a moan as he sucks bruises on your neck, the edge of his fingers trailing over the seam of your bra. “Then you must be so strong.”

“I am, haven’t you noticed?” Haechan pulls away just to showcase a mischievous grin. “I work out, you know.”

You blurt out laughing. It’s not solely because of the mental image of Lee Haechan—a full-time gamer, Lee Haechan—doing push-ups seems so funny to you. It’s more about the way he wiggles his eyebrow, trying to be sexy about it when you know he’s the weakest one in your group. Flustered at your reaction, he flicks your nose. “What is so funny?”

“I’m sorry,” you apologize though it doesn’t seem that much sincere with the way you’re still giggling at him. “It’s just that an hour ago we were two friends making fun of each other and now we’re here, in this position. I don’t know, it just feels surreal to me.”

An adorable pout blooms on his face. “I thought you said this didn’t feel weird.”

“No, it’s perfect. I want this.” You wrap the end of his necklace twice around your index finger. “I want you. It’s just… I’ve been imagining this to happen for such a long time and now that it’s happening, I’m feeling a lot of things at once.” You place a reassuring kiss on his temple. “I’m nervous.” This time landing one on his cheek. “I’m relieved.” When your lips hover above his, you notice him parting his own slightly in anticipation. “And it feels so good, I don’t ever want to stop. Even if that means we can’t go back to being friends.”

Haechan can’t form a response as you don’t let him, your mouth swallowing the tiny moans he emits. “We’ll talk about that later,” he hastily replies, “I still haven’t had enough of you yet.”

Without warning, he lifts you off the counter, making you yelp and wrap your legs around his waist for support. “Haechannie!” With you holding onto him, he takes a step forward, ignoring your call. “Where are you taking me—"

“Wait, no, back pain, back pain.” Both of you nearly tumble down to the ground from how he’s harshly placing you back to your feet, wincing at the ache erupting from the strained muscles in his spine. He’s groaning in pain, massaging his back with both hands. “Fuck, you’re really heavy!”

“That’s no way to talk to a lady.” You throw your slipper at him, missing his head just a few inches, laughing all the way. “What exactly were you trying to do?”

“I was trying to move us to the couch.”

“All you had to do was ask.”

“I was trying to be sexy.” He juts out his lower lip, and it takes all control of your body to not squeeze his cheeks from how adorable he looks.

“Honey, you are sexy, believe me, but you’re also weak as fuck. Consider hitting the gym for real next time and then carry me.”

“Shut up,” he sighs, holding out a hand for you to take. “To the couch, please? And maybe a massage after this ‘cause my back is killing me.”

Shaking your head in amusement, you take his hand, intertwining your fingers with his and drag him over to the couch. He’s in the middle of asking, “Do you want me to be on top or—” when you push him down and straddle his lap without warning, legs tangling around his hips. “Oh, okay.”

You run a hand through his hair, pushing them back so you can witness the glow in his eyes. “You look sexier with your hair pushed back.” You love the way he stares at you, eyes half-lidded painted with lust and desire. And combined with your commentary, he now has his cheek tinted with red. “Do you have a problem with me being on top?”

His eyes quickly run down to the place where your denim shorts are riding up your thighs, your zipper pressing against his groin. With a noticeable gulp, he stutters out, “N-no.”

You smile, patting his cheek. “Good.”

The kiss starts slow as you focus more on moving your hands down his body. Haechan shivers a little when your palm is pressing against his bare chest, sliding down to his navel. When you pull back, raising a questioning brow at his reaction, he bashfully says, “Your hand’s cold,” looking like a nervous little boy who’s a stark contrast to how he usually behaves.

He’s so cute.

“Well, I know a way to warm you up.” You smirk, almost cringing when you hear your own words but Haechan seems to like it.

“Oooh,” he coos, grinning against your lips. “Are you offering what I think you’re offering?”

“I don’t know.” You kiss your way down from his jawline to his chest, pushing yourself off his lap so you can kneel on the floor, your fingers unbuckling his belt. “What do you think I’m offering?”

Haechan’s eyes are glowing with anticipation. He curves his fingers around the edge of his seat, wetting his lip nervously when you pull his zipper down. You release him from his boxer, stroking him to life and he sinks his nails further into the couch. A train of expletives breaks free from his mouth but he’s so quiet, you can only hear his ragged breathing.

But by the time you run your thumb over his slit, your hot breath hitting his sensitive skin, Haechan melts into a whimpering mess. “Please don’t tease,” he begs.

“I haven’t even started, Haechannie.” And he looks like he’s about to say something but it only turns into a mewl when you press a kiss to his tip. “You’re so cute,” you comment, and he shivers when the vibration of your voice meets his skin.

Haechan tries to act composed. “Of course I’m cute, it’s—”

You cut his line short by darting out your tongue, giving kitten licks at the side, smiling satisfyingly when his eyes meet yours. As you give him a little suck around his tip, he throws his head back, his lower lip between his teeth. “I—I said don’t tease.”

“I’m not teasing you.” But you are. How can you not? He looks so fucking cute. You’ve never really enjoyed giving head before, especially when your opponent gets rough and ends up pushing too deep until you gag. But with Haechan, you feel like you can do this for hours. He’s so nervous and shy, doesn’t even dare to place his hand on your hair, and his reaction to every bit of your action is honest even when his words aren’t.

“Here.” You take one of his hands, moving it to your head. “You can use me as much as you want.”

“Use—” he crumbles at your choice of words. When you suddenly envelop him with your mouth, moving from the tip to the base in one quick motion, Haechan instinctively grabs a handful of your hair, flinching. “Goddamn, why are you so fucking hot?”

You giggle, sliding his cock out of your mouth with an obscene pop. “Thanks.”

“No, I mean your mouth. It’s so fucking warm.”

“So, you’re saying,” you dip your tongue into his slit, eyes seductively peering into his. “I’m not hot?”

“You’re—Fuck, fuck—” Haechan seethes, hips buckling when you bob your head down again, tongue pressing against his veins. Shivers run through his fingertips when he slips them between your locks, pushing your fringe back to have a good look at your face. You catch a glimpse of him, his lips unconsciously moving to form words that you can’t hear. So pretty, he seems to say, and the thought of it makes your stomach lurch in delight. Taking him completely in your mouth, you hollow your cheeks, swallowing around him. He tightens his hold around your hair, cheeks flushed and you expect him to hold you in place so he can thrust against your mouth but what he does is pull you away. “Stop, stop, stop, stop.”

Wiping a string of saliva away with the back of your hand, you ask with a frown. “Something’s wrong?”

Haechan hides his reddening face behind his fingers, quietly answering, “I was about to come.”

You hold back a grin. With a nonchalant hum, you dip your head down again, this time engulfing him until he hits the back of your throat.

“Jesus Christ.” His sanity is deteriorating, he can feel it.

“Don’t bring Lord’s name when I have your dick in my mouth, Haechannie. Mark would kill you if he knew.”

“Fuck Mark. Come here.” He rushes forward, forcibly pulling you up with both hands clamping your arms. When you follow his order, settling back down on top of his lap, he confesses with his lips grazing against the shell of your ear. “I really won’t last long if you keep doing that.”

Despite your previous teasing and confidence, you squirm inside his arms, feeling warmth spreading from your chest to your cheek. “So I have these effects on you?”

He’s almost growling when he retorts, “You don’t even know.” Haechan pushes your bra strap until it falls off your shoulder, teeth marking your supple skin until you hiss in both pain and pleasure. He presses a softer kiss to soothe away the bruise. “Sorry, I… You’re gonna need to cover it up tomorrow.”

“It’s fine.” You stroke his cheek, tracing the tiny mole on his jawline. “Seems like you have a biting kink.”

He sheepishly chuckles, “I don’t know. But if you let me, I’d love to do that again.”

Something about him saying it in the most sincere way possible, almost too formal even, makes you crave more for him and everything he does. “You’re allowed to do whatever you want with me, Lee Donghyuck.”

Haechan swallows hard, barely has the bravery to look at you in the face after hearing your words and his real name tumbling out of your mouth. His fingers are now on the hem of your shorts, trembling a little bit. “Umm—may I?”

Helping him further, you stand on your knees, unclasping your bra first to his surprise and pulling your denim shorts and panties down to your thighs. Haechan watches with his eyes wide open, mouth parted in awe as he commits every bit of your curve and movement into memory. It feels so thrilling to be this wanted, to be ravished by his eyes, until you begin to struggle to push your clothing away from your legs.

“Need some help?” He asks, lips pursing as he tries to hide a grin.

You exhale loudly, detaching yourself from him. “Let me just—” You jump off his lap, standing back with your feet on the ground, and kicking the clothing away with annoyance—why in the world did you have to wear shorts this tight—and slap him in the chest when he’s chuckling at the sight.

“Maybe you should stop trying to be sexy too,” Haechan snickers.

“Shut up.” You crawl back into his lap. “Go back to staring dumbly at me like before. I’m naked.”

“I wasn’t staring like tha—oh,” he inhales sharply as you grind your heat against his cock, amazed at how warm you are despite your cold palms. The sensation of skin meeting skin feels much more different. There’s really no going back this time. Somehow, it feels dangerous, as if you’re doing something forbidden and it makes your skin crawl with excitement.

And by the look on his face, seems like he feels the same way.

“Lost for words?” You taunt him with a smirk, hands on his chest. “That’s new.” His glare is menacing but it falters away the second you rub your arousal against his.

His head falls to his shoulder, eyes tightly shut. “God, baby…”

There it is again. The funny feeling in your stomach. “Baby?” You simper though your heart is palpitating like crazy. “We’re moving on to giving each other pet names now?”

If he can blush any harder than this, he probably might but with the way you’re grinding shamelessly on his cock, letting him get a glimpse of how wet and warm you are, he’s all maxed-out.

His earlobe lays between your teeth when you whisper, “Shall we put it in?”

Haechan’s nails are sinking into the skin of your hips, both to hold you in place so you’ll stop torturing him and to press you down harder on his crotch. “I…” He’s so distracted, he can’t even think. The way the side of his length is pressing against your folds is pushing every little bit of self-control he has to the back of his head.

“Haechannie?” You giggle, moving your hips. “I kinda asked you a question here.”

“Yes, fuck, yes, please.” Haechan tries his very best to not sound that desperate for your touch but he is that desperate. “Wait—aren’t we—shouldn’t I wear a condom first?”

You blink, halting your movement. “You brought a condom with you?”

He nods as he leans forward, fingers searching frantically at the pocket of his jeans that hang low on his knees. “Here.”

“Why do you have a condom with you?”

“‘Cause I bought it downstairs just now.”

Your jaw grows slack at the realization. “Is that the reason why your hair was so messy and you were sweating when you barged in here? ‘Cause you ran downstairs, trying to find a condom?”

“I’m sorry, are you really complaining about this now?”

At the feeling of his member twitching underneath you, you sigh. “You’re right. Let’s discuss that later.”

It feels a bit awkward when you stand on your knees, giving him some space and wait until he finishes wrapping the rubber around himself. The silence that hangs between you is almost deafening that by the time he’s done and you fall back to his lap, sitting on his thighs, it feels like you have to start over again.

You diffidently smile. “Hey.”

Haechan is equally as embarrassed, mirroring your gesture. “Hi.”

“I guess we’re gonna have sex.”

“Guess so.”

Another few seconds pass by where you can only meet each other’s eyes, feeling your heartbeat racing louder and louder. It feels like you’re about to burst, honestly, but fortunately for you, Haechan leans in, his fingers tentatively caressing your cheek. “Can I kiss you?” He questions.

You melt under his gaze, his gentle touch, his honey-like voice. “Yes, please.”

Your lips start the connection and the rest of your body follows, fitting every curve of his perfectly like you were made for him. The way Haechan sighs against your mouth sends sparks of electricity all the way down to your toes and you don’t waste any more time. With his mouth latching on your breast, tongue flicking against your nipple, you lower yourself on him.

Haechan’s hold your waist tighter, eyebrows adjoined in the middle at the sensation, his moans muffled. He presses his spine back against the couch, admiring the sight of his member disappearing inch by inch into you. His eyes begin to droop when he’s completely sheathed inside, his bruised lips parted. He cups your cheek, kissing you softly on the corner of your mouth, making you shiver at the sudden tenderness. “I guess we are having sex,” he murmurs with a bashful smile.

You can’t help but laugh a little. “I guess so.”

It starts slow, with you placing both hands on his chest and him swallowing his breath at the sight of you moving up and down his length. You hiss slightly at the friction, adjusting to his size.

“Does it hurt?” He asks, tucking a few loose strands behind your ear.

“A little.” You reassure him with a grin. “Relax, you’re not gonna break me.”

You expect him to send back a snarky remark but what he does is press his forehead against yours. “You’re so warm,” he whispers, tasting the skin that connects your shoulder to your neck. Something about his words, his sensual kiss and his tender touch makes you squeeze your walls around him and he clutches harder around you. He glides his hands lower to your hips, silently urging you to pick up the pace and you follow.

Breathing heavily, Haechan has his thumb grazing your lower lip. “You have such a pretty mouth,” he professes as if he was in a trance.

You seductively bite his thumb, still working your hips. “You’re saying that ‘cause I just sucked your dick.”

“Yes, that too, but really.” It’s as if he’s staring at a work of art, eyes twinkling with admiration. Sometimes, when you’re hitting the right spot and quiver around him, a small moan escapes his lips and you feel him twitching inside you. “It’s—ah—It probably doesn’t sound sincere when I’m saying this now, but I’ve always thought you had a pretty mouth. And lips. I’ve thought about your lips a lot.”

“Yeah?” You mouth against the sensitive skin below his ear, sinking harder on his length. “What else do you like about me?”

“Y-your voice—” You can actually feel him shivering. “You have such a—fuck—I just—I really love your moans.”

You’re not sure whether he’s saying that because he’s so distracted with the way you’re breathing in his ear or he genuinely loves it. Either way, it’s a pleasure to know how much you’re affecting him with your actions. With a chuckle, you say, “You’re rambling, baby.”

“And your hair,” he adds, probably losing every bit of his self-control by this point. “I love your hair. Looks so soft.” Haechan cards his fingers through your strands. “Feels so soft.”

You hum in response, hoping that your flushed face doesn’t look as apparent as you think. “Anything else?”

“Your—” He shudders when you paint a mark under his collarbone. “Your ass.”

You stop, pulling away to give him a look and he whines at the loss. “My ass?”

“What—” The tips of his ears are turning red, steam practically coming out of them. “Why are you staring at me like that—you have a great ass!”

Teasing him is such a joy to you. “Then, let’s do it this way.” You part away from him, landing back on the carpeted floor so you can turn around, giving him the chance to ogle at your behind, before you ease yourself down onto his lap once more.

“Fuck—” Haechan’s hisses, his hands going down to your hips again. The new position doesn’t allow you to meet his eyes but with the way he’s whimpering behind you, fingers trailing over the curve of your ass, the sensation increases.

“You okay back there?” You taunt smugly, chuckling a bit because Haechan sounds like he’s losing it. His nails are sinking into your skin and you just know that’s gonna leave a nasty bruise tomorrow. “You seem like you’re enjoying this way too—“ You’re interrupted by your own moans when he suddenly has one hand massaging your breast and another one sliding down your stomach to find your clit. “W-wait, Haechannie—”

“You’re such a tease,” he breathily whispers into your ear, his chest pressing against your spine as he leans forward, pulling you into his embrace. “Isn’t that supposed to be my job?”

His fingers are rubbing you in circles, making your thighs tremble. “You’re right.” You move your hips harder, going out of rhythm with how fast you’re going and Haechan sinks his teeth to your shoulder again.

At the sound of his name departing your lips in the most sinful moan he’s ever heard, Haechan curses. “Shit, you’re not gonna let me enjoy this longer, are you?”

“There’s always a second round, Haechannie.” You smirk, raising your hips all the way up in intention to slam it back down again but Haechan catches you and pushes you forward until you land on the coffee table, stomach pressing flat against the wooden surface. “What—"

“There’s always a second round, right?” His lips are brushing against your ear as he positions himself behind you. “Then I’m going all out.”

When he slams his hips in one swift motion, hard and deep, he knocks all the air out of your lungs. “Wait—” You choke out, can barely keep up with his pace. “Oh God—”

“Now, now,” he coos, his hand finding its way to your throat, fingers pressing against your veins. He raises your face, his chest completing the dip of your spine. “Don’t bring God’s name when I’m fucking you like this, baby.”

You can’t even find the strength to retort, eyes shutting tightly until you see stars behind your eyelids. It almost feels unreal how fast he can go from being awkward and tentative about all of this to raw and wild within a few minutes but Haechan has always been fast adapting to new situations and you have been teasing him way too much. It’s about time that he snaps.

Haechan moves you down to the floor, forcing you to stand on all fours and you’re so glad you follow his lead. “Spread your knees. Bring your head down,” he instructs and you do as you’re told, extending your arms in front of you. Haechan has his hand on the dip of your shoulder blades, holding you still until you have no choice but to press your cheek against the carpeted floor, ass in the air. “Good girl,” he praises, kneeling behind you and rubbing his tip along your folds. “Ready, baby?”

He doesn’t wait for your answer.

With only a few minutes in, you know you’re getting close, you can feel it. He has switched from giving deep, hard thrusts to quick, shallow ones and it’s driving you insane. “H-Haechannie, I—” you whimper, “I’m close—”

And he knows it too, of course he does. He can tell by the way you’re clenching around him. But instead of going harder and driving you completely over the edge, Haechan suddenly laces his fingers with yours, his lips painting soft kisses from your nape down to your spine, his hips hitting another angle that feels just as amazing even when he slows down the pace. The intimacy surprises you as you don’t expect him to be this tender. Suddenly, it doesn’t feel like you’re doing this out of sheer passion. With his palm covering the back of your hand, fingers slipping between yours, somehow, everything feels more sentimental, stronger, crossing the lines.

With a moan of your name, Haechan flips you to your back, fingers framing your face, lips meeting lips as he thrusts back in, gasping against your mouth. “I want to see your face,” he says when he pulls away, his half-lidded eyes boring into yours, thumb slipping between your lips. “Not sure if I’ve told you this before but…” He snaps his hips, and you tangle your legs around them in response, fingernails digging into his upper arms. “You’re so beautiful.”

The knot in your stomach untangles without warning and your orgasm hits you so hard, you nearly sob at the sensation. With the way you’re quivering and squeezing around him, Haechan follows right after, his face sinking into the crook of your neck, hips stuttering as he rides out his own orgasm.

***

With his jeans back on and his used condom thrown away to the nearest trash bin, Haechan joins you back on the carpeted floor as you still haven’t found the strength to get up and get dressed after that. He shamelessly lays his body down on top of yours, his cheek pressing against the valley of your breasts. “I’m spent,” he mumbles, feeling drowsy.

“Haechannie?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re heavy.”

“I know.” But he doesn’t get up, only moving his head slightly to press a tiny kiss to your bare chest before he lies his head down over your heart again. You give up with a smile, wrapping your arms around him, fingertips stroking his hair. Haechan sighs contentedly under your touch. “Man, that was…”

“That was?”

“Amazing.” He props himself up on his elbows so he can meet your eyes. “You’re amazing.”

Your heart jolts at the sincerity in his words but you cooly smile back. “I know.”

“And I’m amazing too, I’m sure?”

“Meh,” you shrug. “Could be a little better but I’ll let you practice on me for free.”

“Jesus Christ.” He shakes his head, his strands tickling your nose. “I don’t even have the strength to join your banter. You know, I’ve always wondered since you’re pretty much shit at everything, there must be something you’re good at. But I never thought that something would turn out to be sex. I can’t even believe I’m saying this but you’re really, really amazing at it. I feel like I should give you a medal or something.”

“Thanks,” you flatly mutter. “Not sure if you’re praising me, though.”

“Oh, I am praising you, believe me. And you know me, I rarely praise.”

“Stop it,” you use your robotic voice. “You’re making me feel so special, I’m about to cry.”

Haechan playfully nips at your nose, forcing you to break off your act and laugh directly into his mouth. “Seriously,” he says, breaking off the kiss. “If I were to pay you for sex, I would give you everything I own. Even the clothes I’m wearing. Hell, I’d even sell my grandma but don’t tell her that.”

Your laughter has reduced into small giggles. “That’s comforting.”

“So…” The way Haechan is caressing your hair is so soft, almost like a mother to her sleeping child. “What should we do about this?” When you raise an eyebrow, he tensely adds, “Do you, umm… I mean, do you want to, like—”

“You’re rambling.”

“I know, God, I’m so nervous! I may look like a naughty, sexy bad boy—”

“No one is saying that—“

“But I actually suck at this—as in, I don’t really know how to date a girl.”

“You don’t even know how to talk to a girl, based on the conversations we’ve had,” you comment and you know it’s not helping but it’s worth seeing his adorable pout. “Then don’t date me. If it’s hard for you to date, then let’s just keep being friends—"

“But I want to continue this!” He says it so fast and firmly that you don’t even have time to feel hurt about your offer.

It’s not like you crave a relationship with him—you haven’t thought about it that far—even just holding him like this is enough for now, so the fact that he’s so excited to have this going makes your heart swells with joy. “Well then, we’ll be friends who have casual sex anytime we want,” you suggest.

He blinks twice, a bit amazed at your offer, but to your surprise, he seems rather… disappointed? “What happens if we start catching feelings?” He quietly asks.

“Then I guess we’ll start dating for real.”

“Then…” He runs a hand through his hair, nervous. “What happens if I already have feelings for you?”

He states it so quietly, it’s a miracle you can even hear him. “Do you want to date me, Haechannie?”

He looks away, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “Do you want to date me?” He murmurs against your skin, unsure and flustered.

You heave the heaviest sigh you’ve ever done in your life. “You’re unbelievable. I’ll decide for us then. Starting now, we’re dating.”

He lifts his head, and if he were a puppy, he would’ve had his tail wagging behind him, even when his face doesn’t show much. “That easy?”

“That easy. What, you have something to complain about?”

“No.” He grins, pressing a chaste kiss on your lips. “Hey, girlfriend.”

“Ugh, get off me, you’re gross.”

But no matter how hard you push your palm against his face, Haechan only giggles and turns you around so this time, you’re lying on his chest. “So,” he pushes a few strands of your hair behind your ear. “You like me, huh?”

“No, what makes you think that way?”

“Says the girl who just slept with me.”

“I slept with you ‘cause I was just curious about your dick. Jeno said you had a dick that was the size of his thumb.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Didn’t you see his InstaStory last night?” You reach up to gather your phone from the coffee table. “I took a screenshot of it actually. Man, you should’ve seen the comments. They’re hilarious.”

Snatching your phone away, Haechan runs his eyes along the words written on the screen. “That son of a bitch!”

Simpering, you sneak a peek under his boxer. “Well, he’s not wrong.”

“Oh, it’s on,” he deadpans, throwing your phone away and pushes you back down on the floor. His eyes glinting mischievously.

“What are you doing?” You’re still half-laughing when he brings your hands over your head, holding your wrists together with one hand as he settles between your thighs, his fingers hovering dangerously close.

“I’m gonna make you take your words back.” He wets his lip, one corner of his mouth turning upward. “Time for the second round, baby.”

***

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