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advernia · 5 years

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fic: a beginner’s guide to waltz

— is it really just a simple art of stepping forward and moving backwards? - the mad hatter & alice the second.

1) stand facing your partner, shoulder distance away from them

This, apparently, has become some sort of routine; heavens above bless his soul:

once or twice a week Alice the Second would visit the White Rabbit’s home (his home too, as he’d like them to recall), and she is welcomed warmly despite his constant refusal and attempts to let her in past the doorway,

the two morons end up sipping their tea while talking over incredibly mundane things that only serve to make his eyes roll, and his carrot-munching-idiot-of-a-housemate expects him to contribute and participate,

for some reason he and the little girl end up playing tour guide and tourist, adamantly unwilling and awfully inquisitive respectively: they walk around and about the Central Quarter only to stop when the sky has stripped itself of its blues and dressed itself in oranges and reds, and before she heads back to Black Army territory she never fails to;

say her thanks and bid him farewell in the form of the press of her lips - the pressure light and kind - on his forehead.

In hindsight the last one is absolutely unnecessary and incredibly inappropriate for they are man and woman and simply just acquaintances, but he can’t exactly fault her for still thinking that he’s just a child because that’s what he physically looks like in her eyes (some ill-tempered young boy who's actually sweet enough to accompany her on walks around town), and in the end -

- it’s not that horrible of a sensation, really.

2) leads, always take a step forward, guiding your partner

There are many possible reasons as to why one would hold another’s hand, such as:

a social interaction or event requires it, such as when greeting another or when dancing,

a show of agreement, friendship, or affection (because actions certainly speak louder than words and what else spoke possibly louder than physical contact), or;

person in question has no notion or respect for the concept of personal space and propriety, or even worse, has no common sense and just decides that ‘hey, I wanna hold that person’s hand!’

None of the above really apply to their situation or to them both for that matter, unless one would count their walks to be a form of social interaction: he spits out once that touring her around Cradle is a waste of time considering that she’s been whining every single day about wanting to go home, to the London where she belongs; but she’s as stubborn as a mule could ever be and rather offended that he thinks that she’s been whining every single day when it’s quite the contrary.

The argument goes nowhere but it still ends up with them wandering about Cradle on occasion, so all’s well that ends well - for her, at least. He’s still kind enough to remind her that her days are numbered and while she claims that she hasn’t forgotten, the sparkle of curiosity that dances in her eyes whenever she sees something that strikes her fancy doesn’t get past him.

And when she does find something fascinating, she pulls him along for the ride, quite literally and figuratively so - with their hands linked together and bubbling enthusiasm as her strength, he’s dragged along to follow her footsteps; to be swept into her pace with little room for escape.

People wag their tongues as they frequent the streets of the Central Quarter and some of them boldly ask sometimes whether they’re siblings. The mere thought of that concept is enough to make him contort his face into expressions unimaginable but she’s all smiles and white teeth as she laughs; hand and fingers lacing themselves a little more securely in his, eating what little space that was modestly left in between their palms.

And he wonders for the umpteenth time, if those people actually take time to realize that after asking the question they want answered -

- her laughter doesn't follow with a validating response.

3) perform to a 3-count tempo

The day she’s exposed and informed of his curse is the day that she rues all those kisses that she had planted on his forehead - she buries her face into her hands and deeply onto the wood of the White Rabbit’s dining table, but her ears that poke out from the heavy mass that was her hair spoke volumes of her embarrassment.

Victory always felt so exhilarating, especially after when one has been played around with like a fool - or rather, like a child.

Their relationship shifts shortly after that, for she has gradually come to terms that he truly is not just some kid - he is an adult in his own right, albeit stuck in an unfortunate predicament - her words towards him become more straightforward and less cherry-picked (for she believed that there were things that children shouldn’t hear), gone is the ‘little’ she adds before his name and so is her doubt for his actual ability as an inventor.

Their walks still continue, and while she insists on holding hands with the reason 'to ensure that they don’t get separated by a possible madding crowd in the market', she manages to stop herself from kneeling down and pressing her lips on his forehead by the day's end.

Still, it doesn’t stop him from mercilessly teasing her about it -

- and her face would bloom brightly with a striking red, always, without fail.

4) move in a circle with your partner

They end up having dinner together once, and it leaves the White Rabbit and the Black Army figuring out the so-called intriguing mystery of who asked who first, then it escalated to the question of who does the asking the most of the time when their dinner engagements increase in frequency.

Seven dinners later, both parties still draw blanks.

Perhaps to repay her henpecking kindness whenever they go about their walks (surprise, they nearly did get separated from each other once if not for her vice grip on his hand) and for the baked goods she would offer to him as snacks when he would dive into long periods of work, he escorts her well throughout the night like any proper gentleman would - albeit the fact that she could be so positively air-headed and inelegant in demeanor, she was still first and foremost a lady and her dressing up like one for their appointments only serves to remind him further of that: lengthy honey blonde hair styled neatly into modest up-dos, light touches of rouge and powder meant to accentuate natural facial features and not flaunt them, smart-looking blouses paired with graceful skirts, dresses with manageable layers and tasteful designs to boot, simple shoes that would always end up complementing the sole piece of jewelry she wore for the night; either a pair of earrings or a modest necklace.

He had to hand it to her, she knew how to dress the part of the ideal London woman: a minimal, practical look; meant to turn heads through its unassuming elegance.

He's never said so straight to her face without a single trace of sarcasm or scorn, but if she would insist or ask -

- he certainly had no qualms in calling her beautiful.

5) do an underarm turn

You're going back.

Are you asking me if I am, or are you ordering me to?

Their hands are linked together, elbows held up to her shoulder height - she squeezes his lightly, fingers lacing themselves even further into his; and he squeezes back, as light as he could muster.

It was a statement. You're old enough to make your own choices, and I'm not interested in asking you about a decision you've made since you arrived here.

... Fair point.

Her heels click on the cobblestones as she takes a step back, his boots thump softly as he takes a step forward. The humble space in between their bodies remain, unassuming and undisturbed.

... Will everything turn out alright?

... How should I know?

The hand she had set gently on his right shoulder developed a trembling weight - with a quiet sigh, the hand that he had set on her shoulder blade now slid down to her waist.

Silence begins to creep in, a skittery wind doing small pirouettes by the movements of their languid feet. The night says nothing either, with its darkness blanketing the skies and dotting it with twinkling stars - it just watches wordlessly from above, streaming down faint brilliance that gingerly illuminates the path they stood upon.

A minute later and without warning, she rests her lowered head on him; her forehead meeting his shoulder. Seconds later and without warning, his arm now wraps itself around her waist and pulls her closer to him, his chin resting itself kindly on top of her head.

Their hands are still linked together so they continue to sway along to the wind, like the leaves of the trees that surround them: wordlessly going back and forth, back and forth -

- and when the clock strikes midnight, there they continue to be.

1: this was a nearly finished draft last month with a formatting i liked + a plot nonexistent but eyyy fe3h arrived and my soul is consumed by fe hell... again... i knew i should've finished this before the game's release date (٭°̧̧̧ω°̧̧̧٭) 2: i’m neutral with oliver, but i totally can’t deny that his colorful verbal abuse is a big mood. plus, that one scene in fenrir’s ‘say i do’ route always comes to mind - i found him to be rly sweet, wiping away mc’s tears. 3: step 5 went along the lines of 'this could be romantic if only he/she wanted it to be', thus the word turn... plus, this is me implying that for this fic's purposes, mc returning to london means never going back to cradle at all. honestly speaking, the drama factor of 'different worlds' became pretty minor to me once i learned that mc can just... go back pretty easily... what a shame, methinks (๑•̆૩•̆) 4: i do hope his route gives a rly interesting explanation about his curse + origin... i mean, its hinted that he used to be from london himself, so i'd like to know what makes his circumstances different from the alices. i could play the jap ver itself or just look up spoilers... but... (*´σー｀)

#ikemen kakumei #ikemen revolution #ikerev fanfic #oliver knight #ikerev alice

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masterdipster · 6 years

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anon date ask meme pt.1

I’ll be answering all the asks about the date ask meme! I wanted to answer to each and every one without flooding your feeds - if you sent in an ask, check here! So many lovely people sent asks that I’m kinda shy aaaaa >///< but thank you to everyone who sent one! This is about 29 asks, so I cut them into two parts; I’ll have part two up tomorrow!! I love all of you guys!

17, female, 5'4, my eye color is blue green and my hair is currently dirty blond soon to be red-orange. My favorite color is blue lavender and my favorite class is choir. I would have to go cliche and take you to a cat cafe, if you aren't allergic, so we could relax have some hot drinks and get to k ow each other while playing with cats. ^u^

- I LOVE BLUE GREEN EYES THEY’RE SO SOFT TO LOOK AT IMO??? dirty blonde is amaze but wow red orange is bold!!! cliches are cliches for reasons girl and if you take me to a cat cafe i swear you own me <3 1000/10 would date!!

174cm, 24yo, Female, little thicc. Favourite ice cream is vanilla bean, specifically. My favourite date would probably be a walk in the snow in winter, sit down somewhere with a cup of hot coffee/tea/chocolate and just talk about our interests. And cuddles.

thicc is beautiful :’))) also I’ve experienced snow exactly one week in my life in Japan and it fuccin killed me, I would love to snuggle with warm drinks <3 1000/10 would date!!! aaa

21, m, darkblond hair, 1m82. Brown eyes with a smidge of green in them. I'm a trained chocolatier, I play the bagpipes and i like writing (even though i never get around to actually doing it). As for a date, I can't decide between a movie, or walk through a nice forest. But afterwards a homecooked meal. I like vanila, not crazy about it but surtain brands are irresistable to me. My fav ice cream to buy is a scoop of chocolate and a scoop of banana together.

did you,,, mention that you’re a chocolatier bc you know my weakness for chocolate???? bc it worked. absolutely. wow. you had me there (and with the brown eyes aaa) yes to movie and/or forest stroll, and YES TO THE HOMECOOKED MEAL, did someone give you a cheat sheet to my heart??? 1000/10 would date wow r u real <3

I'm 16, a female and 160cm. I have dark brown almost black eyes with dark brown hair. I love reading, writing, drawing and learning new things. Since I also love food, maybe the date can be lunch or dinner in a restaurant with us talking about our interests, just to get to know each other. Then we can have desert :D Which is ice cream ofc. I quite like vanilla ice cream, but my favourite is probably Mint Choc Chip :)

your hair and eye color slay me :’)))) FOOD DATES ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE THEM PEOPLE SHOULD ALWAYS DO THEM!!! there is something so sweet and intimate about eating good food and talking with each other, i love it. I love mint choc chip too so we can absolutely share!!!! 1000/10 would date!

24, Non-binary, 166.6 tall, fave ice cream is salty licorice or licorice, good old true creamy vanilla with real vanilla is so good holy shit. I don't do dates, I'm very bad at that. So series/movie marathons with themes, like VERY bad horror movies or low budget movies with bad acting etc. and good food is a go. i have short brownish red hair and green eyes, my hobbies include searching information of anything i ever get interested in and starting tons of projects i never get to finish

TALL! i’ve never had salty licorice, pls introduceee :DD TRUE VANILLA ICE CREAM IS THE BOMB OKAY when it has real vanilla beans, it’s amazing,,,, I’M EXTREMELY EASY TO SCARE SO MAYBE WE’LL STICK TO THE LOW BUDGET ONES YEA XD any date with good food and i’m sold, good food makes me happy and kind and loving <3 1000/10 would date

15, girl, 5’2. Heterocromic one blue eye one green and Strawberry blond hair. I love reading, drawing, gardening and baking. I take kung fu so I can protect u lol. I would take u on one of those berry picking farms where you buy what you pick, and then we’d go home and try to make a pie of some fruit, and make homemade vanilla ice cream! (I rly like vanilla ice cream lol)

I loved reading this one because with every new sentence my attraction to you just kinda skyrocketed. eye color and hair color?? queen. ur hobbies? amazing. kung fu??? yes pls my god. BERRY FARM? HELL YES. ICE CREAM WITH PIE? dead. just. dead. 1000/10 would date i love you very much

Date Challenge: 5’9”, 18, male, turquoise eyes, loves reading MHA on ao3 (or just watching it lol) and listening to movie scores. Favorite Ice Cream: Cotton Candy. Date would probably be lunch at a cafe, talking about interests and just heading home to watch cartoons all night

TURQUOISE EYES??? BEAUTIFUL. MAGNIFICENT. LEGENDARY. YOU OWN ME. Movie scores are shizz, you gotta introduce me to those!!!! and hell to the yes to that date - let’s cap it all off with a Gravity Falls marathon!!!! 1000/10 would date <3

I'm nb, 1.59m, 23 with blue eyes and short hair whose colour varies depending on what I want. Now it's red but I wanna dye it pastel pink next. I love video games and reading (so much books to read... SO MUCH.) I like coffee dates (or tea or chocolate depending on your favourite taste!), but also going out to a restaurant (crêperies are my favourite!) or chilling with each other (kinda like cats, simply being in the same room is enough for me haha). I love vanilla ice cream but my fave is mint!

I WANT PASTEL PINK HAIR AND HAVE WANTED IT FOR SO LONG!!! i plan on getting pink hair once we figure out the logistics of getting my hair bleached :’( PLEASE BRING ME TO A CREPERIE I BEG OF YOU I NEED IT DIRELY!!!! same, being peaceful in the same room is so nice and comforting?? simply being quiet with each other is a date in its own way <3 1000/10 would date!!!

I'm 17 (18 this November) l, I'm male (trans). I'm 1.70 m (5' 7 ) tall. I have brown eyes and dark brown hair (but I'm planning of painting it lilac). I love to draw and I'm actually going to study digital animation. My favourite ice-cream is chocolate with mint probably. And for a date I'll probably take you to a cafe or a chill restaurant and later to the movies.

lovely lovely lovely brown eyes <3 ANIMATION!! amazing aaaaa!!! mint chocolate is amazing, isn’t it??? lmao i love how everyone here seems to know that the way to my heart is food xD but yes, pls, do so, 1000/10 would date!!!

female, 15, hazel eyes and brown hair, 151 cm, my ideal date would just be talking while at a restaurant. ive never had any ice cream, but i would love to try it one day!

HONEY!!! MY SWEET SUMMER CHILD!! WE NEED TO GET YOU TO ICE CREAM ASAP!!!!! let that be our date; let me show you the WORLD!! 1000/10 would take on a magical adventure to discover ice cream

16, trans guy, like 155cm or something, blue eyes n ginger hair, BNHA and figure skating are my special interests rn, and my fave ice cream flavour is chocolate with brownies in it. um,, date,,, is pokemon go in the woods a date?

back the fuck up, you have blue eyes and ginger hair? AMAZING. ICONIC. LEGENDARY, I LOVE YOU!!!!!! OMG we can talk about figure skating all day and have chocolate brownie ice cream, which is amazing!!!!! i deleted my pokemon go app but that’s ok, let me be ur misty and go with you as we find pokemon in the woods!!! 1000/10 would date <3

24, Male leaning genderfluid, 193cm (and also a paunch belly, I'm built like a brick house), blueish grey eyes and long brown hair that I dyed the back third green so that when I tie it back in a braid one of the strands is green. I like speculative world building and roleplaying games like DnD, and I like vanilla and all its variations and everything you can combine with it to make something delicious. For a date, I'd take you out to icecream and invite you to play DnD probably.

A BRAID WITH A GREEN STRAND!! THAT’S AMAZING HOLY SHIT!! AND YOU’RE SO BIG!! bet it would be so easy for you to carry me around xD please please please take me out for ice cream and teach me DnD, i’ve always wanted to play!!! 1000/10 would date!

For the date meme: I'm 16, female, 1.67 cm tall, blue-green-gray eyes with a little bit of amber and brown, brown-ish hair, I love reading, drawing and writing(even though I'm bad in the last two), try to teach myself dancing and piano and I love vanille ice-cream, even though I prefer cookie or stracciatella as flavours^^

oh were you the one who sent me an ask about stracciatella before?? YOU SOUND SO BEAUTIFUL OMGG <3 god i wanna learn how to dance too, we can learn together!!!!! <3 <3 <3 1000/10 would date!!

22, female, 155cm green eye, green curly hair. I love baking and making the others happy. I will take you to city u don't know, we will get lost there and explore and then eat in small cozy restaurant.

GREEN HAIR AND GREEN EYES!! ICONIC!! I accept only under the terms that we eat at more than one cozy restaurant!!!!!! i can already imagine us holding hands while misreading street signs xD and maybe you could give me something you baked?? <3 1000/10 would date!

For the date me challenge thingie!!! I’m 18, female, uhhhhh 150cm I think, short black hair (like a fluffy undercut kind), dark brown eyes, hhnnnnngggggg I love reading, movies, songs, drawing, autumn, nature, animals, tea, chocolate ice cream and a lot of other things. As for the date, I’ve never been on one, but a walk in the park or going to a carnival sounds fun!

omg undercuts are so amazing i love them <3 <3 <3 I LOVE ALL THE THINGS YOU LOVE except nature isn’t always so kind to me so I love it from afar (war flashbacks to Girl Scouts camp,,,,,) please take me to a carnival!!! PLEASE PLEASE!! I want to try this funnel cake that I keep hearing about!!!! But anyway you sound beautiful and amazing, 1000/10 would date!!!

#master speaks #master replies #personal #ask meme: date #THIS GOT VERY LONG #SO I'M SPLITTING IT INTO TWO #I'LL POST THE REST TOMORROW #I LOVE YOU GUYS THANK YOU FOR SENDING ALL THESE ASKS!!!

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chenlays · 7 years

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artist!renjun

I hope this is what you wanted :”) ilysm💖 ⭐️ requests are open !! ⭐️ masterlist

can you make a cute artist!au w renjun bc that is probably the cutest and softest au ever :’)

art class is!! really fun

u basically got to do ur own thing on an assigned project and chat n have as much fun as you wanted

and 👀👀

there’s renjun

he’s a rly cute and soft boy who absolutely loves that class

and watching him draw or paint or just mess around was pure joy !!he would space out a lot with the end of his pencil in his mouth,, just thinking about what to do next

and sometimes he would just smile sO bright because of how funny a line or feature looked

a lot of the time he was more quiet and to himself, just sketching away and humming and occasionally looking up

but u never really paid attention to what he was looking at 👀👀

one day when u were going to get ur snuffs

he was smiling really wide to the point where u could see his lil snaggle tooth 🤧🤧 (REST IN PEACE)

he was drawing in a very awkward position so he could cover the paper with his arm

and u were rly wanting to see it,, ofC

so u peeked over his shoulder and saw a really really pretty sketch :”)

but there was hearts and stars and flowers all over the background

nicely blended also

he didn’t realize you were there until you complimented him

then he waS SCREAMING

“OH hello,,, uHm may I help yOU??”

“yEa, wHAT were u drawing 👀👀”

when u ask him he gets all blushy and cute and closes it really fast

avoiding eye contact as much as possible too,, and lots of shaking

he says smth really dumb too

“MY C—ACTUS”

renjun w t f

he had a crush on u and u couldn’t see it smh u eggo

bUt then u just left him alone because he obviously wasn’t comfortable with sharing

and then the day after in art

he found the courage to sit beside you and watch you paint the scenery instead of letting you watch him

and when u weren’t looking, he just smiled so softly and did a cute laugh if u messed up

and then said encouraging words to make you feel better about the wrong stroke or bad blend or failed technique

“messing up just makes your art ten times more beautiful!!!”

after a week of just helping you and keeping you company, he stopped you after class on a Friday probs and gave you a SOFT and nervous smile and it conCERNED u a lot

and he was stuttering quite a bit probably :(

but he ended up asking you about his art

hMmm “could you come by my house sometime so I could get help with a drawing????”

oFC u said yes,, if u said no I would’ve hunted u down ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

and he wrote his number on ur hand rly fast with his special tracing pen

and zoomed out of the room bc he was so nervous

iT WAS cute though !!! soft shy baby boy

after school tho

he probs texted you right away n made it nice!! And sent lots of hearts n smiley faces

“du trist edderkopp 👺”

he was so cute and awkward n,, u just lov him

even though it was making u anxious n whatnot (pROBABLY I mean,, renjun is so cute how could he not make you nervous

you went over to his house for whatever he needed

I feel like his house would feel reALLY welcoming

nice flowers at the front n a fresh lawn and a lil porch decoration

and then he answers the door in pajamas bc he fORGOT and he was just screeching into his sketchbook or smth and stressing about this very moment

you’re trying not to laugh bc CUTENESS and he’s so embarrassed

it’s awful,, poor bby :(

he’s rUNNING while saying you can come inside and just leaving a trail of tears

but in like 5 minutes he’s back with a presentable outfit and those glasses that make him look so precious :”)

and he still has messy hair which makes him 29389292x cuter so u don’t say anything

but he just sets his sketchbook at a table and pulls out a chair for u 🤧🤧

“hEY do u want anything???”

“UHm 👀👀 can I have water ??”

his smile omg

probably smiles n runs to his kitchen,, ready to make u the best glass of water you’ve ever had

his sketchbook was one of those rly aesthetic ones !!!

the front was a little old and torn at the corners and it had lots of dirty on the edges and papers shoved in between pages

it looked so tempting to open :”)) but u had to rESPECT

he comes running in with some water and a tiny plate of cookies or whatever u prefer

“you mentioned it while you were sketching your background!!”

while ur drinking ur water,,,

“uhh renjun??? why did I come over??”

“oH, I needed help with drawing someone!! you both have similar features and I needed an example!!”

as he was drawing and looking back n forth from u and the paper, you couldn’t help but notice how happy n determined he looked

he started making small talk with you after like five minutes so you wouldn’t be bored and you both learned a lot

and soon, he was done with the sketch and had asked for you to come back another time

it happened to be the following saturday

and throughout the whole week in art, both of you talked the whole time about so much

he was a good friend of yours at that point, and he was so much more interesting

he paid attention to all of your quirks and habits and literally fell in love with them all

if you liked to chew on ur nails or smth

he would laugh a lil and grab your hands and give u a warm smile

or if you liked to ramble a lot and stopped in between to say “sORRY I’ll stop :>”

he would frown n ask you to keep talking so he could work better

he paid attention to it all and remembered every little thing you said

you like flowers?? he’s already painting 20940 different kinds !!

AN YW AYS

when u went over again,, u went in his tiny art room

it was cozy and bright in there with lots of supplies on shelves and art hung up all over

and it was aLL his art !!

he probably had a painting of moomintroll and snorkmaiden tBH and when u asked what it was he snatched

“UH that’s just an old kid thing I liked sry wrong number ://“

“renjun wtf ur literally speaking to me”

but u both just sit and he gets his work done while u rant abt world issues and opinions and he also does too while aggressively cOLORING

and when he does finish

he shows you!!!

it’s yOu though :o

ur screeching bc “omg I thought u wERE USING ME AS AN EXAMPLE THIS IS AMAZIG ILYSM YOU EGG”

ur just showering him in compliments and love and tears and he is so flustered and happy that you like it

but it gets overwhelming so he drops everything and hugs you sOO tight

and then he steps away from you and covers his face,, and u can see marker stains and pencil lines on his hands and he looks sO cute n like he’s conquered his life goal istg

messy hair n messy artist renjun is my aesthetic

wOw he’s so cute,, trying not to look u in the eye and still form words so he can tell u how he feels 🏌️🏌️

“snjdksk I drew you because you’re beautiful and I’ve been trying to draw you since our very first art class but I never could :’)”

and he gives u 2993 moomin stickers he made himself

after that he holds ur hand all the time in class when he can

and draws hearts all over ur stuff YES

and always gets paint on ur clothes so pls

beware

also hums while drawing in class since it calms both of u i’m tearing u p

aNd u need to date thx

the art teacher is assigning a partner project next term for that sole purpose

“date or u get an F”

thank u ilysm

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youngninelifer · 6 years

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Got tagged by @the-carmevore !

rules: answer 20 questions and tag 20 blogs that you would like to get to know better!

nicknames: Ellie (my family and old friends from before I moved call me this but I’d prefer nobody else do lol), ells (ol and vik ❤️) .....idk I’m nickname-poor

gender: nonbinary

star sign: Leo

height: I’ve thought I was 5’2 for ages but people have been debating me on that so I should probably check lol...

time: 6:30 pm

birthday: August 12!!

favorite bands: florence + the machine, alt-j, glass animals, imagine dragons, white hinterland

favorite solo artists: hozier, sea oleena, susanne sundfør, Cosmo sheldrake, Mikki Ekko

song stuck in my head: I’m listening to Pure Feeling by florence because I just rediscovered it bc my phone deleted it when it broke and I forgot it existed?????

last movie: i think it was hidden figures!! SO good...

last tv show watched: the good place HOOHA ...just finished it last night... UNREAL

when did i create my blog: idrk, I think... four years ago?

what do i post: on my main I post memes and cool art... and whatever I like that doesn’t fit into my sideblogs! TAZ also...

last thing i googled: i looked up interviews w the good place cast last night haha

do i have other blogs: yep!! @idyllon is for my sunlight, warm oceans, honey-type aesthetic, and @crowhound is my dark, godly, weird masks and teeth-type aesthetic. @littledeadling is my art blog, and @amorbidfascination is a largely inactive old weird vent blog I made when I was an edgy depressed 14 year old . @deathplaces is a very inactive blog mostly for my own personal collection of places I’d like to go as a ghost after I die, before I leave here. @borzoidalwizardsclub is a dumb thing about wizard borzois that I kinda abandoned haha

do i get asks: i have been getting some lately and it’s THE BEST💕💕💕

why did i choose my url: it’s something Jason Yeldham calls Cat in The Pinhoe Egg, which is my soul as a physical rectangle

following blogs: 560

followers: 537

favorite colors: I rly like soft yellowy olive green! I think pastel cool colours r my favourite too, and my fav colours to wear are burgundy, olive, and mustard, and ~dusty rose~ which is so pretentious but that’s what it’s called

average hours of sleep: oh idk.... 8 on weekends and more like 9 or 10 on weekdays (cuz I don’t work til later)...... a fella likes their sleep . Shh.

lucky number (s): ent got those!

instruments: i USED to play piano (quit years ago cuz I hated practicing hhh) but mostly trumpet!! I miss it :’C I was lead in jazz band for 5 or 6 years

what am i wearing: I changed into sweatpants and a sweater when I got home cuz I’m cold

how many blankets do i sleep with: Lots, Pal

dream job: early retiree who gets to do nothing but write novels and poetry and draw and basically just.. Create everything I want to Create

dream trip: mm. I’d like to visit Amsterdam some day! And see London and Paris! But I don’t want to go alone, either with my dad and sister or with my friends!

favorite food: i don’t think I have one I literally have never had a clue what to say when people ask me this......

nationality: Canadian!

favorite song right now: mm I don’t have one I’m in love with right now.... recently I discovered Teardrop by Aurora and that was my most recent fav song (tho that lasted like a day and a half so). My fav song of all time is Rabbit Heart by florence (WITH the music video, as an important aspect to my love for it)

Thank you!!! ☺️ I tag @crowempress and @invisincere (if u wanna! I’m sure not tagging 20 whole people wow)

#bz bz #long post #ask games

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jagaimogoshujinsama · 7 years

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rambling about shin men and hyu/kan. its long and self indulgent but if ur curious where my brains been at recently here it is

ive been in an out of a couple fandom interests recently, im still following new shin chan episodes closely (and i’ll get back to subbing some eps probably, at some point)...

anyway the past couple weeks i got, weirdly, super into hyu and kan as a ship. even though theres not a TON of content to work off, and also theyre ostensibly a het ship which can turn me off (and did at first, when i first realized kan is a ~secret girl~, in fact i have my reaction in writing

but then i gave shin men more of a chance and rly grew to appreciate all of the characters and.. the thing as a concept, and BOY!! i love kan a lot, like a heck of a lot. and since shes a girl who deliberately takes on a lot of masculine attributes its very easy to read her as genderqueer or transmasculine or even a trans dude straight up - though as a demi...gender?? person myself i like reading her as Soft Transmasc, because projecting onto cute little cartoon ppl is my favorite thing to do

so one of my main questions when i encountered this series was: who came up with this and why? what IS shin-men? this post will be me trying to explain it to myself:

shin-men was a concurrently-running anime AND manga series created in 2010 to celebrate the 20th year anniversary of shin-chan. the anime is obviously more well known, but the manga chapters tell the stories quite a bit differently and provide some more backstory - i own the first two volumes with the third on the way. the anime is awesome because it was seemingly spearheaded by Masaaki Yuasa (the kaiba dude), and as soon as I saw the first episode i assumed Shin-Men was his brainchild from start to finish. i’m not sure EXACTLY how much was his creation, conceptually speaking, but it is true that he finalized designs and a lot of basic concepts for the characters. (parabon is straight up hyo hyo!)

(from masaaki yuasa’s super huge sketchbook, which runs in the 40-50 dollar range. let me know if you find it cheaper anywhere ill accept a used copy with heavy spaghetti stains)

yuasa boarded the first five episodes of shin-men, and a subsequent 8 episodes were released with different boarders (primarily yuji mutou, who’s been a heavy hitter on shin-chan since 1998). yuasa’s 5 episodes are beautiful - i mean look at this

yuasa always brings an otherworldly, dreamlike quality to whatever story he’s telling. on shin chan he generally seemed to prefer fun AUs and outlandish stories about buriburi zaemon that would allow him to invent colorful new settings and costumes.

that’s what’s so refreshing about shin-men - it’s the first time the show completely abandons its core cast of characters and focuses on NEW ones, in a universe with different rules. except, just kidding, because shinnosuke is still the main character, he’s just red now and called gou. so even while shin-men is TECHNICALLY breaking the fundamental rule of shin-chan - that shin is the main character who is in every single episode no matter what - it’s still abiding by it, and it still feels like shin-chan. that’s not criticism, though - i like the various alt-universe appearances of shin-chan characters in the shin-men universe. my favorite is matsuzaka, who is called “matsuzakaroni”, is STILL a kindergarten teacher even in this very alien universe (and despite the fact that she, i think, hates it?), and most uncannily of all, gets hit on by gou?? also gou is an adult i think, in this universe’s rules, he’s just really short like all of the other shin-men who are also adults?? i mean, i THINK? why does nobody in universe ever seem to mention how tiny these apparent grown-ups ar

anyway i’m not an expert on shin-men. despite my efforts i don’t really understand exactly where it came from or where gou’s ears are

i hope some day someone will create really good english subs of it, though i realize that’ll be a serious effort since yuasa’s episodes ABOUND with onscreen text - fuck, just imagine editing the moving gossip clouds on botswanawana to have english text. how would you even do that.

but i do wanna talk about kan a little and why shes cool thats the topic of this post

kan akaluislar (thats her last name..) is one of the 5 shin-men, superheroes with elemental powers who all look like a 5 year old named shinnosuke nohara from another universe, but don’t think too much about that. kan’s the only one who doesn’t actually have a superpower - she’s the Iron Man of the group, like, literally she’s tony stark, she’s the super wealthy and successful president of a major automobile company and rules the school in her home country, Detahoit. (which is maybe a pun on detroit? i’m not sure what’s up with that name)

anyway in addition to being iron man she’s also Transformers and Fullmetal Alchemist, she’s all three of those guys. she turns into a car a lot and transports her teammates everywhere. she also OWNS a car and drives it around when she’s not being a secret car superhero. is that bitterly tragic, or does kan secretly PREFER to be the car? is that her darkest fantasy? to be a full time car instead of a car-driving ceo? that is my headcanon

kan guards the fact that she’s female from the group, convinced they’d treat her differently. specifically, she’s convinced gou and nyoki would hit on her (confirmed), sui would bitch her out for not having a proper skin care regimen (that’s sui’s big thing, by the way, is that he’s a bitchy youtube beauty vlogger), and - worst of all - hyu would kick her out, since girls can’t fight.

...which seems like a pessimistic view of hyu. hyu is the wind elemental in the group - he’s buff and a little dopey but kind hearted and sweet, the noble hero type. also a bit of a spoiled prince.

each member of shin-men gets a yuasa episode dedicated to them, and hyu’s episode - his main arc, really - centers on his love for kan, which he keeps secret, despite the powerful curiosity of his country’s gossipy citizens.

what interests me is the disparate ways the anime and manga handle this plot thread. the anime treats hyu’s crush very earnestly, maintaining an undercurrent of quiet affection from him that appears in the majority of its episodes. the manga, however, emphasizes kan’s disinterest in romantic advances from both gou AND hyu, then practically drops the topic of hyu’s crush. it doesn’t exactly defy or contradict the relationship they have in the anime, however -- but it makes me sad, because hyu’s crush on kan is extremely cute and endearing. (as a sidenote, gou’s thing for kan is also pretty cute, but it only exists in the manga, and, well - it’s not really a /romantic/ crush.

the shin-men manga makes a lot of different choices to the anime, and since the two were released concurrently i have no idea which “version” of any one story was the “original” - and in some cases i’m sure there isn’t an “original” version of a story, just two different ones. sometimes i really prefer the anime’s decisions (not drawing eyelashes on kan) and other times i’m... not sure what to think (the manga chapter with pimawari does NOT focus on kan, so did the anime decide to highlight kan’s relationship with pimawari because... kan’s a girl?? did they really do that? am i over thinking this?)

the manga does a GREAT job of fleshing out kan, though, even though it does so by torturing her, endlessly. she gets trapped inside of a washing machine. then has to use up all her fuel exploding out of the washing machine. the good news is, kan can repair washing machines, we learn this in episode 5 of the anime.

but be it manga OR anime, kan and hyu frequently wind up as partners who work well together, and its understandable. kan and hyu have private lives that mirror each other, both of them being high-profile and wealthy, pressured (kan by her conniving older sisters, hyu by his palace’s grand chamberlain) to settle down when neither of them is particularly interested, both preferring the life of a superhero. their private lives seem lonely and neither of them has any friends outside of shin-men. but within shin-men they team up frequently, and (being natural leaders) the two of them tend to take charge and stand out as The Responsible Ones.

(pointing = leadership)

this is what sells me on them as a couple - that they have this core of collaboration and mutual care in their superhero lives, which could build into a supportive friendship in their personal lives.

i very much love that hyu has a crush on kan despite thinking kan is a guy. that angle never comes up in the anime, though its lightly touched in the manga - and yuasa explicitly addresses it in his earliest notes. to quote,

“kan (iron shinnosuke) is the only girl within shin-men. since only men can be shin-men, she wears an iron suit to conceal the fact that she's female from everyone. and since she doesn't have a superpower, she relies on the power of her suit. hyu (wind shinnosuke) secretly likes kan but keeps thinking things like "could it be that i actually swing that way.." (lol). eventually, he's the only one who knows about her true self, but hides it from everyone so it won't be known.”

so, kan’s expectation of how hyu would react, having a sexist freakout and banning her from battle? apparently not representative of reality. which is good news because, even if kan doesnt want a love connection, she DESPERATELY needs a friend whom she doesnt feel the need to hide her private life from.

and at th end of the day thats what makes me happy: the idea that hyu can be this friend to kan, and they just chill out together, smoke a bong, get their truant son gou to cook them some curry, consolidate oil and wind technology to make both of their countries more sustainable and energy efficient, kiss etc.

im so curious if vol3 of the manga will give me any further insight.. i doubt it but im excited anyway

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itain · 7 years

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long.. complaint post essentially

id say rant but its less anger than just.. despair i guess

oh god i feel at this moment.... very hopeless

ive just kinda been frozen since i got home,,, talked some, ate dinner, etc... but there is so much i need to get done but i {feel i} cant do until i finish one thing in particular...... like so many rows stacked up in tetris that all get cleared with the one block that fits them all... i mean perhaps nobody thinks its that big a deal,,, idk......... i just feel like i cant breath... literally it feels like my chest is a bit tight just thinking of all this shit stressing me... like once i finally get one thing done turns out its not done and i had 10 more things to do as well... i feel that in the time it takes for me to take one step, i’m pushed back like 20 paces....

you know when you have so much stressing you that you play games or just fucking fill your mind with static to pretend nothing is wrong?? you waste time having fun while the stress just looms next to you all day every day?? thats like my usual state of being.... and here is the other end.. where things come crashing down, and im panicking, and im frozen because i can never solve things, i have to find an order in the chaos, and at this point everything immidiately turns negative and i wonder why im even alive rn... i like that ive written this much and still remained so vague.......... SIGH

uh lets see i mean its mostly all just financial shit

the biggest block rn is the fucking gym... gee am i getting so damn sick of this shit.... i am ready to sccream over this fucking gym...... ive been trying to quit almost since ive started... i FINALLY send the shit i need to on time..... and they didnt do it???? so i need to call them tomorrow asking why they havent drafted the quitting fee, and im sure theyll ask if i did the fucking secure mail where i get notified when they recieve it, and no i didnt bc i dont have money, and they will come up with some bullshit excuse reason why i cant quit still, and at that point ill want to scream and cry, i fucking wish that could solve my problem??? why cant i be like my dad who yells at the customer service people on the phone till they solve everything for free???? why cant i ask that of him now?? thoughts like these... who let me be an adult, how will i not get fucked out of shit because im a fucking pushover who just wants to please everyone and be polite.....

then lets see.......... the student loans..... the big issue with this... i mean 50 bucks a month starting in october... i mean we will fucking see if i have the money... considering im already drowning now, i fucking doubt, but my biggest concern is the logistics... what amount am i paying back? how do i know that its set up to draft out of my account??? questions i dont want to ask anyone because i’ll feel like a fucking idiot and i’ll just cry about it instead pls.... so i’ll just rot till october tyvm...

and what else... my biggest fear is the combination of these two, that i cant quit the gym and im paying like 75 fucking bucks a month for two things that have made my life nothing but hell...

but i think the other biggest stressor is the small shit adding up rn... for like 2+ months (i havent really counted but i know its been a long time now) my phone isnt working without a charger.... and to even get it replaced for a working model is like 75 bucks.. id buy some shit phone but thats 20 bucks that can be spent towards surviving... like, see above bills.... oh and id switch to an old phone of mine to even ask if thats possible would fucking cost money bc metro pcs wont answer shit without seeing money first ugh.. its made all communication and leisure time way more difficult as im chained to the wall and only a few short times a day for either.... so setting aside that, ill just fucking pray for that for christmas orz the other “small shit”...... oil needs to be changed on the car,,, means i have to find some time to buy oil, figure out what fucking oil to buy, where to buuy, if i have the money, etc... communicate with coworker friend and get a day we both have off so her friend?? can change my oil for me for free, bless.... but thats not even possible till i get back from my vacation.... so a week or two..... then we have the registration sticker that needs to be updated before september,,,, 80 to 85 bucks my dad said... that obv cant be updated with a code on my car so again, it has to wait a couple weeks... even driving with a code on my car gives me such anxiety...

so moving on to.... i guess the tiny shit that isnt as big problems but only have become such because im mega stressed..... thought i had finished the laundry... found another bag orz... apartment much more disorganized than i thought.. you know how order in the home gives a certain peace of mind.... and vise versa.... bf and i are fucking depressed and at least i want pills but that is a faraway dream rn, booking a fucking appointment, much less having $$ for a perscription????? trying to work out then losing motivation so quickly as always... but because i want to dedicate my energy towards cleaning this place... which just somehow never happens.... just never seeing a way to save money??? ive been so damn frugal and i still cant pay my bills and here i am with more bills, meanwhile my dad posting his stupid fucking bullshit on facebook about “choose happiness” like money doesnt have a fucking say in the matter.... and all the low self esteem and negative thoughts that accompany all this situation... wanting to “do something nice because ive been having a hard life/week” and then still feeling like shit, or feeling guilty for having spent anything then complaining about money...

i guess last thing i wanted to touch on..... the vacation... bfs mom takes me with them on their family vacations.... honestly i feel like the goth in the prep family? like im too much drama to make them happy.. ive been pretty open with her about my feelings towards my dad and stepmom, mostly bc she is super giving and nice and agrees with me against them.. and recently ive been more open, like about my depression even... and like... she even said she would get me a scrip... like....... i just.. this kind of thing, the vacations, the covering my half of rent, even while she doesnt have a job rn (she is rich but tighter on $$ now so) but i feel so guilty accepting it.. like if i justify it, then arent i being too greedy?? but i literally cant refuse it, or i’d be on the street right now so..... but i just feel like she owns me... if i were her daughter i think id be more okay but like... if john and i break up she put like, thousands into SOME CHICK.... i feel like in the far future i’ll need to write her a check too;; i told bf i wasnt rly feeling the vacation... of course because of the neverending drama surrounding me (yeah yeah im not saying drama is drawn to me, yeah i create it okay) this will just kinda strain more the relationship and they’ll all think i have some issue with them or smth that i gotta ruin every family trip... so i’ll just go.. but like... self esteem is out the window, so i wont want any pics.. i doubt bf will either, we both have gained so much weight, and i have perma acne that gets worse by the day, and i cant even afford to get my hair cut or colored again so its just this grown out mess.... then in the other respect of a vacation... i think ill just be worried the whole time about my finances... i mean i wont be able to spend money on anything so -shrugs- i get to just look at a bunch of nice things, thinking “i wish” or feel the guilt of her wanting to get it for me.... oh god yeah and same things w my friends.... i want to hang with them?? but i dont have money for shit??? and every time they pay for smth i die inside bc when will i even be able to pay them back its the same thing but theyre poor TT

anyways i guess thats most of it..... i guess im feeling tired maybe ill just pass out watching some youtube videos.... i was wanting to get a drawing done but ~*the cycle of feeling like shit*~ will occur worse then...

#negative #long post #dont read #sorry i exist #i wish i didnt too #the shit thing is even writing this out and posting im like...#its like there is two of me and one is saying you just want attention.. you want pity. you want money.#well fuck i want happiness but ill get what i can i guess

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