Gortash posting
xDDDdDd
So uhm, I can explain.
I don’t play BG3 but my friends do and I had a glimpse of the gameplay and understand the basic plotpoints, just through sheer osmosis. One of my pals has some ironic-but-not-so-ironic pining for Gortash, his insufferableness, stoopid swagger and dumb confidence. Can also be summarized by this
And tbf can’t blame him cuz from what I gather, while Gortash is a bad person his character writing is just very well done which makes him a compelling villain.
So, fulfilling my duty as a friend and wowza!memer (yes, you can cringe after reading this, it is allowed) I have engaged in the shenanigans. It got slightly out of hand and I am planning to do yet another thing, possibly in watercolour about Gortash. Lmao.
And remember, g stands for Gortash.
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Scientific fact: when youre happy your life expectancy goes up
Also fact: when i look at pretty people, i feel happy.
Conclusion: looking at pretty people extends your life expectancy.
Friend (who doesnt watch qsmp): so phil will die soon because hes not seeing missa?
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Kaladin: I won’t dare suck up too much stormlight as to call more attention to myself
Kaladin two pages later: I’m going to kick a shardbearer in the back, fling him forward, break my legs and feet, CRACK the shardplate in the front and walk away from that.
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hey actually, fucker,
maybe
go rot! in hell!
i’ve deleted all my pictures since people don’t know how to leave me tf alone and treat me like a person :3 !!!!!!!!!!!!!
i do not care if you’ve seen my ass on MY space, maybe also read about the extensive work i’ve done on kink safety and treating people like people. even if you think they’re attractive.
i am not a piece of meat.
dms are closed now, btw. i enjoyed the few nice conversations with people that have had questions, but im so over this.
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Today's rat is Sid from Flushed Away (2006)!
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This is for @samsseptember's prompts "Part Time Avenger | On the Run", "Working for Fury | Wakanda ", "Post Blip | TFATWS", and "Post TFATWS | Meanwhile, On the Boat". The idea behind it is that ever since Bucky stole Sam's steering wheel and went into hiding, Sam and Bucky keep trying to one-up and annoy one another. They both want each other's attention but also want to show off. To the point where they egg each other into a fake relationship, trying to best each other with each date. They soon find out their feelings may be more than just frenemies. Perhaps they discover that their feelings are more than banter, a shared best friend, and a need for the other to acknowledge them.
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In honor of recent bastardry, I present the undead asshole himself.
I know Jonathan mentions Old Dracula wearing black head-to-foot, no color whatsoever, but I can’t imagine he wouldn’t have some kind of red lining for his dramatic cape. Plus the antiqued gold-ruby clasp repurposed from a certain famous portrait’s immaculate headpiece. I also dig the idea of the flowing tresses not just from a style~ perspective, but from the more practical issue of having no reflection to play barber with. Probably why the Brides get longer locks too; you have to eyeball every cut and cross your fingers.
Cut to Young Dracula, all full of blood and fresh from the London tailors. I admit, I cheated just a bit with the lines of the coat, cravat, and suit--Hellsing fans, if you know, you know--but it does line up pretty well with my idea of him being a chronic enjoyer of having as many parts of your ensemble flap dramatically in the wind as possible. It feels wrong not to have a cape to swirl around menacingly, but he makes do. He even found a trustworthy barber!
After dark!
Alone!
And he did such a good job, even with a customer whose medical condition didn’t allow him to work with a reflection, our guy didn’t even kill him!
“Of course not,” he says, strolling out into the dark. “I shall need your services again some night. I do hope you will remember me. I shall certainly remember you.”
Trembling, the man sweeps up the fallen hair; what was once black now an ancient cadaverous white.
When he finally makes it home that night, his wife greets him with the most lovely news. A striking gentleman showed up at their doorstep, insisting the barber had done a fine job without demanding proper pay. Ever being one to repay a debt, the noble had sought his address. She invited him in for tea despite the hour, but though he happily sat with her, he did not drink. There was a young lady waiting at home for him, he said, but he simply had to deliver what he owed, do give the barber his thanks...
Outside, neither notice the bat in the air, whirling happily away to a waiting window.
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