#this game started out so good and then just. absolutely went down the shitter in the second half

[invinciblerodent]

getting a little bit obsessed with my "cottagecore throuple" here, because the more I think about it, the more disgustingly perfect and idyllic the whole thing is to me.

like... post-game, I like to imagine Shadowheart absolutely thriving. She's a city girl with a deep love for animals, and spotty- to nil memories, most of which are of the worst things to have ever happened in a dank torture-basement: of course a sweet, picturesque forest cottage (so far I like to think that Petyr would call it "The Hovel", even though it's by all means a cozy, nice hunter's lodge) would have her downright giddy, and she deserves every ounce of that happiness ever.

As I imagine it, when not enthusiastically learning all there is to learn about the quasi-self-sustaining life (that she had dropped herself into by shacking up with a literal forest ranger), she spends as much time outside as possible: walks barefoot in the tall grass, stops to smell every flower (and even plants quite a few, just by the vegetables), and lays in the soft underbrush for hours at a time- enjoying the sunlight caressing her face, enjoying a nice novel (and/or a cuddle with Scratch, the cub, or her boyfriend once he sits down for a moment), or just gazing up at the moon and stars in silent worship. She makes friends with every animal that crosses her path, too: SO many potions of animal speaking are consumed, it's absurd. (She's best friends with the chickens. Petyr has to start farming acorn truffles in the basement for her, and that even proves actually very lucrative- in town, that shit sells for like 10-20 gold a pop.)

She'd of course bring home everything that'll let her. Little wildflower bouquets and stuff at first, but also every critter: from juvenile racoons just weaned from their mothers (they look almost like kittens! how cute!), to elderly foxes that just want to curl up in front of the fire and warm their bones somewhere safe for a moment. She's having the time of her goddamn life, she's learning a shitton of life skills she was never taught (finally learning things not meant to make her better at hurting people!), and generally enjoying a life that, while still plagued by remnants of the past (night terrors, perpetrator trauma, loss, grief, pains both suffered and inflicted, all that great stuff), has her feeling actually content with her lot in it.

And with all this, Petyr is... very business as usual, or at least he's trying to pretend that he is. Having someone in what was his space for like 20 years is strange initially, but if there's one thing he's used to, it's adapting. Making things work. (Plus, he's like, happy, or whatever. In love. You know, that sort of rot.)

Then again, he's also used to only having to feed himself with the very little he has, not another (especially another who is inexperienced at this type of thing, and a second another who just... drops by sometimes, always unannounced and unexpected, but never unwelcome), which deep down does have him a bit (a lot) more antsy about not just being the self-appointed guardian of her happiness, but also just... their general survival.

He's keenly aware that winters in the wild are never especially easy, not when you're so far removed from the safety of a community- especially not the way he's used to being alone, without even magic to keep you warm and safe. Usually, he spends most of the year primarily occupied by preparing for winter, and even like that, there have been lean years: years when he got snowed in for tendays, when he did something stupid and all the careful prep went down the shitter, years he had to go hungry and learn to make do with next to nothing.

So he compensates for- (and distracts himself from-) that anxiety by making extra sure that the pantry is stocked to bursting with all the goods there can be, and they often head out into the woods to hunt and forage together- although he's not a great (or even a good) teacher, Shadowheart (usually Shadow, often Heart, lately Jen or Jenny in affection) does make what he used to do out of sheer need, into something also done for fun.

Hunting and foraging are fun now, and soon, the cabinets are overflowing with jars and jars of dry mushrooms, so much homemade deer jerky, jams and jellies and pickles galore... there's mead fermenting, and homemade soap curing before it can be used, firewood stacked to the height of a person... herb bundles, garlic braids, grain corn, and drying peppers are strung up on the rafters like fragrant fairy lights.

Meanwhile, I imagine that Halsin comes and goes as he pleases- not entirely unlike a beloved stray cat. He just shows up one evening as if he had left not tendays, but only a few hours ago, kicks the duff or mud or snow off his boots, and leans his staff into its habitual nook by the door. He sets whatever it is that he brought this time in its appropriate place (be it otherwise unobtainable goods from town, or just a little gift, a treat to enjoy together), and he sinks into the worn-out armchair by the fireplace that was declared his the first time he stayed.

One of the others almost always then strolls by to settle wordlessly on his lap (if not both of them- that poor chair can barely take the combined weight), and just relax as his big, warm fingers slowly work through the knots and ties keeping their hair out of their faces, and, voice rumbling deep in his chest, he tells them all that has happened in Reithwin the past while.

The many smells of dinner and the comforting scent of pipe tobacco mingle with the fragrant herbs and the crackling fire then, and creates something that can only be described as the scent of home.

.............. and then all three just fuck absolute NASTY every day, in every configuration, and on every surface available for the next, oh, month or so.

#first i had a typo; “halsin comes and hoes” and while that means something different; that too is accurate #squirrel plays bg3 #dad's birthday lunch done; i now relax by imagining cottagecore-ass domesticity yaaaay #i just. i love that in my world Shadowheart; the animal-loving yet lonely city girl #has two handsome woodsman boyfriends and the idyllic home of her dreams #Petyr; the man who convinced himself that he has no needs actually #has two partners who are not just sweet and fun but also both accomplished caregivers in different flavors #(they might even forcibly take care of him when he refuses to take care of himself) #and Halsin; after having finally accomplished the goal that has kept him wandering for a century #has two beautiful lovers who always welcome him home as a beloved equal #oc: petyr wildbrook #yeah the asshole whom i hate to love will have quite possibly the nicest goddamn epilogue; fuck #arvid gets a nice wedding; separation anxiety; and PTSD #iona goes on an almost fully nocturnal (and decades-long) wild goose chase to give her love the sun back #and petyr just. returns home with a gf #and a bf #and also PTSD but what else is new #they might even inspire him to try and reestablish a connection with his family; who knows

[taliaglitch]

like 70 years left in this stellaris game . 25 until end-game starts. Im dying over here

#i stopped for the night cause i got too tired but #god #the war that was kicking my ass ended. I lost like 3 systems. #mostly recovered otherwise #except now All Of My Colonies are facing unemployment crises that i can do NOTHING ABOUT #bc they all have the max amount of districts and buildings #ive established & am working on a new colony in the very far reaches of my empire but uhh the future is not bright #this game started out so good and then just. absolutely went down the shitter in the second half #which i guess is expected considering this is the first full/completed stellaris game ive ever played but still #anyway. im gonna shut the fuck up now why am i rambling about this here gjtbftbfjgnh #personal ramblings

[twilight-resonance]

The Low, Interwoven

Ah, let’s see. I’m quite certain I had some particular things I wanted to write about earlier, but I can’t for the life of me remember what they were. Mostly I remember having a laundry list of mundane everydays to ramble through, so I’ll go ahead and start there and see if I remember the rest along the way.

The last few days. I didn’t write yesterday because I felt like crap. For the most part I've been handling COVID isolation well, but it’s become apparent that I need to throw a tantrum every few months about how much everything sucks and how much I’d rather be doing a million things anywhere else right now, and once all that pent-up frustration is spent I’m good again for a few months. Probably not unrelated, my focus has been absolute garbage this week. Something I’ve been working to recognize more often is that when my focus is garbage there’s a good chance I’m actually just angry, but so far I’ve had a lot of trouble actually remembering that might be what’s going on in the moment. So instead I just felt frustrated and guilty at not being able to focus or work on anything, and that compounded of course. Topped off by watching the last couple episodes of Babylon 5 with Hearthsnail last night, and those last couple episodes being very sad. So that didn’t help either of us. I was too angry to go to bed, so he ended up napping on my back while I did some coloring for a while until I’d blown myself out. Then sleep.

Sigh. Fun things. Then my dreams were full of all kinds of unnecessarily just shitty things. Like going to get a pair of contact lenses, actually grabbing and opening two buds for each eye (I wear dailies), and then realizing that not only had I wasted one pair, I’d wasted both because I didn’t actually need contact lenses. It was just unnecessarily shitty, and I think the whole night was like that. That, and there have been some recurring themes in my dreams every night this week that I don’t appreciate either. Maybe I’ll get there, maybe I won’t - we’ll move on.

Today was on the up again. I decided early in the morning during a period of half-awake that I was not going to try to make myself work today, and just let what would be, would be. See if that got me out of the rut, since pushing certainly didn’t. The rest of the day was fairly nice, sans a low point in the evening. We took a short walk between Hearthsnail’s office hours and my writing group; it was a very nice day out. Sunny, and warm, and not quite springlike but there were more smells than you typically get in winter. I ended up talking most of the time, which is somewhat of a reversal - usually Hearthsnail’s the rambly one - and that was nice too. Got home, showered real quick, and made it to the table just in time for the writing group.

Writing went well again. I did another one of those concept writing pieces for a story I’d been considering writing; it was a follow-up scene to the one I’d written Wednesday, and did a lot to flesh out parts of the magic system and world details but especially character details. It’s been ages since I’ve written real dialogue, and it was intimidating at first, but it turned out well. Surprise surprise, every character there is a shitter to a one. Then again, with a group of mercenaries/bounty hunters, what do you expect? Anyway - I didn’t finish the scene, which gives me something to go back to next time. I did eventually peter out, so that’s all right. It’s been... nice. The writing still doesn’t quite feel like it used to and doesn’t feel like it’s all the way back yet, but in a purely functional way there’s actual writing going on, so that’s immense progress all on its own. 

Went from writing to starting dinner, because I was making twice-baked potatoes and the potatoes have to bake in the oven for an hour before you can do the rest of it. In the midst of doing that, Hearthsnail hopped on a chat with his sister and brother-in-law and we ended up playing Betrayal on Tabletop Simulator (which we’ve been using a lot the last week or so). They had a version that had been reskinned as a D&D adventure, so we tried that and that was a lot of fun. That and I just like the Betrayal games, so that’s always fun. Had my low point in there somewhere, but recovered well enough. Something about various stressors simmering up at roughly the same time in a quiet moment and needing to be soothed back down.

Had work to do after that - all the bimonthly copy-past-format work that I’ve been doing for Hearthsnail’s union. Turns out that last time I did it, none of the links worked - learning that was one of those stressors I mentioned - so I spent some time trying to figure out what went wrong. So far, best guess is it has something to do with the way that everything copied and pasted rather than my links not working, but we’ll see. Finished the format work (with a small gap in the middle because my focus is still a bit garbage even if it’s recovering), then went on to writing an email.

Email was about some fire-ecology-oriented volunteer work being asked for at one of the local state parks. The vast majority of the things they listed were things I could do, and I sort of just... decided, fuck it. Why not. Sending the email was simple enough, and now I'm just waiting to hear back. Between the union work and that, I felt a bit better about things afterwards. It’s been hard not having “real” work this whole year and feeling like I'm not contributing enough to the household. I feel guilty about Hearthsnail working so hard while I just... sit around and do nothing? Play some Animal Crossing, maybe, and wash a dish or two every once in a while? I know it’s more than that, and that I do more than that, it just doesn’t feel like it most of the time. It doesn’t feel like most of what I do is worthwhile, and I worry sometimes that I’m becoming too used to not needing to do anything. That’s its own thing, though, and has as much to do with self-worth issues as it does with anything else.

Anyway, nudging at those things felt good. And I suppose there’s the potential on the latter that it might hook me into a paid job somewhere down the line, if I stick around. Oh - there’s also a city council position that needs filling, and I briefly amused myself with the possibility of applying to run for that. Opted not to largely due to the aforementioned self-worth issues - still have a lot of work to do on that front - but also because I’d like to have been listening in to more city council meetings here than I have been. Mostly the meetings I tune into are for the city up north, because those have to do with Hearthsnail’s job. Maybe another time.

That’s mostly been today. I nudged a bit at working on prep for tomorrow’s town hall, mostly because it needed doing and I haven’t yet. Got some things sorted, anyway, even if there’s more to do. Hearthsnail went to bed, though, and this is more important. So now I’m here.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Now to see if I can make headway on any other processing. 

...

...That I immediately got up to collect the coloring book and continue coloring again tells me that it’s not ready to happen this night. 

Besides, it’s 3AM, and I ought to head bedwise sooner rather than later. Maybe make it up in time to finish town hall prep before it’s time to run. Goodnight, world. Watch again another night.

#blog #journal #daily life #writing #chores #hearthsnail #work #focus #dreams #walking #feelings #emotions #waking thoughts #games

[stagtic]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

Can be used for RP and non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

1. FIRST NAME: castoro!

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: i used to live on the navy base in iceland before it was closed down, when i was very young. was only for a few years, but i’m so glad i had the experience. skyr is ... so so good.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: eyes are a big one, curves, and freckles.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: rice, if it’s made right. good rice is fuckin’ superb.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: anything with bbq sauce. just can’t do it. i’ve tried so many times and i cannot.

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: shitty pop music, which is why i rarely share my musical tastes with people.

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: pj pants and a loose shirt.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: i’ve done both, and there’s things to enjoy about either. right now, i’m more in the mood for something long - term rather than casual fun, so i’d say a serious relationship.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: i wish i hadn’t bungled dropping out of college so badly. i’m pretty deeply in school debt now, such that it’ll be a long time before i can ever go back. but i do think dropping out was the right choice at the time, as i was MASSIVELY depressed at the time and not gaining anything from being there. honestly, there’s a lot i wish i could redo around that time. i was pretty bitter and unpleasant, and made a few choices i regret.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: yeah, i think so! i can be kinda nervous and touch can overwhelm me at times, but i like showing people i care about them with words or gestures.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: i’ve listened to the songs from the steven universe movie so many times and rewatched my favorite scenes so many times, i’m actually gonna say that’s my pick at this point. it’s so GOOD.

12. FAVORITE BOOK: i haven’t seriously read a book in YEARS, which is stupid and lame and i hate it. i used to be an avid reader, now it’s a struggle to find the time and desire to get through one. i’ll just go with my usual answer, “ the giver ” by lois lowry, because it’s the one book i can think of that made a HUGE emotional impact on me. like i seriously started crying reading some parts of it. also, i accidentally kept a copy one of my favorite teachers kept in her classroom library, so there’s an additional sentimental attachment there.

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: i’d love to have more rats!

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: 

- chalastor ( hazbin hotel ) - dislestia ( mlp: fim ) - mercyroad ( overwatch ) - stevonnie ( steven universe ) - billford ( gravity falls )

15. PIE OR CAKE: cake all the WAY. not many pies i actually like, tbh.

16. FAVORITE SCENT: always loved the scent of pine. just gives me a lotta nostalgia for christmas. also nag champa incense smells really good.

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: n / a.

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: mostly i’d just wanna see my family and my friends. i miss them all, and it’s been years since i’ve seen some of them.

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: textbook introvert.

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: oh yes. i’m naturally pretty tense and anxious, so it’s easy to spook me. i also used to watch horror / true crime content late at night which was a bad idea, because it made sleeping very difficult.

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: android.

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: mostly just overwatch at this point. i’ve sorta wanted to try a few others, but it’s difficult to find the time and generally i wanna be doing other stuff when i have free time.

23. DREAM JOB: a screenplay writer, or just ... a writer in some capacity on a cartoon. i absolutely love to write and think it’d be nice to contribute to a project i was passionate about. 

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: pay off my debts, first and foremost. once those were taken care of, get a place to live that i could sustain over the next few years as the money runs out. it’d be nice if i didn’t have to work for a while and could focus on fixing myself and my life.

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: FUCKING WALTER WHITE. FUCK THAT GUY. I FUCKIN’ HATE THAT DUDE.

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: see, if i’m in a fandom i generally still keep it on the backburner. that said, the one fandom i can think of that i have no attachment to any longer is glee. i was in glee fandom for the first two seasons, but then the show went down the shitter and i gave up on it.

i still listen to the covers, but i don’t engage any further than that.

tagged by. i stole it. tagging. steal it.

#;out of broadcast #;meme response #;and now a word from our sponsors ⁽ᵐᵘⁿ⁾ #chalastor // #gravity falls // #mlp // #billford // #overwatch //

[raccoonwritings]

In your bio it says you take prompts, now this is kinda a basic idea but: Eliott and Lucas goes to Party and Eliott gets really drunk and starts flirting with Lucas even though they are already together.

I do take prompts and I really loved this one so I wrote about both Elliot getting drunk and Lucas getting crossed.

Both are under the cut!

Elliot

Lucas makes sure to ask his boyfriend before they head to thepregame if drinking on his meds is safe. He trusts him when he says he’s alreadytalked to his doctors and they’ve approved drinking every once and a while,just as long as he takes all his medications in the morning and doesn’t drink toomuch too frequently. Lucas doesn’t think that’s too unreasonable and so whenthey reach the pregame an hour later, he doesn’t stop his boyfriend from takinga beer or two out of the fridge in rapid succession. He decides it’s best if hedoesn’t drink, though, just in case Eliott gets sick and he needs his strengthto carry his much taller boyfriend’s drunk ass back to his apartment. He canstill have a great time without alcohol.

The pregame doesn’t last long before the entire group headsto a party at Emma’s, Eliott’s hand firmly planted in his as they walk thestreets. Their friends are walking ahead of them, shouting and laughing andencouraging them to move their asses.  Hecould see Eliott was slightly buzzed and grinning wildly, and there hasn’t beenanything to cause concern yet, so Lucas watches quietly while he grabs anotherbeer or two or three.

Almost two hours into the party, Lucas is standing in thekitchen with his friends, laughing and scoffing at the inappropriateness of Basile’scomments about girls, which have gotten better over the course of the past fewmonths, with Eliott’s help. He nurses his first and only beer of the evening andlistens to the boys drone on and on about their mediocre sex lives, while he knowshe’s got it good. A loud noise calls his attention to the entrance to thekitchen, where Eliott is propped up on the door frame. He’s noticeably drunkand goofy smiling at Lucas before appearing to sober up, at least a little bit,and strut over to his boyfriend.

“Hey, handsome,” he says, the smell of alcohol on his tongue.Lucas only realizes what’s happening what Eliott smoothing leans against thecounter next to him, a move he has noticed many guys do with him. Eliott’sdrunk ass was flirting with him.

“Hey,” Lucas responses with a pop of his eyebrows. The boysmust be noticing what’s happening because they promptly make an excuse to leavethe kitchen to let Lucas deal with his shitfaced boyfriend. Or maybe theywanted Lucas to get some action, who knows.

“You know, you’re quite the looker,” Eliott compliments andruns a hand through Lucas’ hair.

“Oh, really, tell me more,” he inquires a bit sarcastically,seeming throwing Eliott off his game.

“First, babe, you have to tell me if you came here withanyone,” he requires casually, while his hand comes up to cup Lucas’ cheek.

He moves his face closer to Eliott’s, so that their lips arealmost touching. “Yeah, I did.” He gives him sex eyes, but Eliott doesn’t seemto get the message, because he removes his hand from Lucas’ cheek and takes asmall step back.

“Oh, like your boyfriend?” Eliott slurs slightly.

Lucas snorts. “Yeah, I did. He’s pretty cute, too.” Lucas smilesup at his boyfriend, whose face falls almost instantly.

“Oh okay!” His tone is forced excitement. “I’m just gonna gothen.” Before Lucas realizes it, his boyfriend has left him standing in thekitchen all by himself, dumbfounded. What just happened? He was flirting withEliott, calling him cute and he just walked away? Lucas knows he isn’t understandingsomething, so he goes in search of his very drunk boyfriend.

It takes him a few minutes to weave his way through the crowdsof people dancing, kissing, grinding. He doesn’t see Eliott anywhere in theliving room or dining room and he doubts he could make his way up the stairswith all the alcohol in his system, so Lucas decides the best option would be toscope out the rooms on the other side of the first floor.

The first room he peeks into is a spare bedroom and he findsa couple making out half naked and quickly removes himself from the areabecause he has not desire to see a girl naked. Like ever. The second room islocked, so the option is crossed from Lucas’ list and he heads towards the bathroomat the end of the hall when he hears familiar voices.

“Eliott, what’s going on?” A voice asks. Lucas knows within secondsit’s Imane.

“I j-just, I saw this really c-cute boy standing in thekitchen with his friends, and I went o-over to talk to him and he’s so much cuterup close, Imane, he really is. I’m p-pretty sure he’s the love of my life. B-buthe came here with someone, his b-boyfriend, and he looked so h-happy when hetalked about him. He has this really sweet s-smile, b-but, he’s taken and I can’thave him. He’s never gonna smile about me, Imane.” Eliott was crying hard, andLucas was so incredibly endeared by the fact that his boyfriend was so enamoredby him, even after a year of dating, that he wanted to be the one Lucas wassmiling about. His heart grew several sizes hearing about how crazy Eliott isabout him. His boyfriend is, without a doubt, the sweetest person in the entireworld, Lucas knows this. The only thing about the situation Lucas hates is thatEliott is crying this hard and his boyfriend sensors are up and at attention.He needs to make it stop.

“Eliott, I think you might hav-” Imane cuts herself off whenshe sees Lucas enter the bathroom. Lucas didn’t realize that the rest of thegirls were in the bathroom with Eliott as well. He gives them all a smile.

“Hey,” he says, glancing around the room at everyone. Henotices that Eliott is too busy crying to look at him. His heart breaks andpieces itself back together.

“Hi Lucas!” Daphy exclaims and Eliott looks at him.

“Even his name is c-cute,” Eliott whispers through his tears.Holy hell. Lucas loves him so much.

“Wanna take over here?” Imane inquires, knowing Lucas isgoing to be the only one to settle the crying boy down.

“Yeah, I’ll take over. Thanks girls.” He switches placeswith Imane, who was standing in front of Eliott, and watches all the girls fileout. He starts talking when the door closes.

“Hey handsome, why are you so upset?” Lucas looks at hisboyfriend with a gentle smile on his face.

“Don’t call me h-handsome. You have a boyfriend. That’s whyI’m upset.” Eliott snuffles and boy, Lucas wants to just wrap him up in hisarms and hold him there forever.

“You’re right, I do. He’s one of the sweetest people I knowand I’m completely head over heels in love with him.” Lucas leans up to coverEliott’s cheeks with his hands and wipe away the tears streaming down the loveof his life’s cheeks with his thumbs.

“I’m r-really happy for you, I p-promise, but you s-should prollygo. He might get upset that you’re in here with another guy.”

Lucas giggles softly, “I think this is exactly where hewould want me to be actually. In a bathroom at a house party, taking care ofhis boyfriend’s drunk ass.” His voice is so sincere, and love oozes out of him,especially when Eliott’s eyes snap up and meet his. He hates how Eliott’sbeautiful blue eyes become so overtaken by redness when he cries. He hates whenEliott cries and would give absolutely anything in this universe to make itstop.

“What to do you-” Eliott starts, but gets interrupted byLucas, who pulls Eliott’s face close to his and rubs their noses together.

“You’re my boyfriend, you absolute ninny. That smile you sawin the kitchen was about you. Those smiles are almost always about you. You’remy everything and I’m never gonna let up on the fact that you flirted with methinking that we weren’t together. Just to inform you, we’ve been dating justover a year, and if you think I’ve ever letting you go, you’re ridiculous andmost likely drunk.” Lucas finishes, winded and out of breath and so, so inlove. Eliott is smiling something big and lopsided and Lucas stands up on histippy toes to kiss his boyfriend, who tastes like alcohol and tears, but it’sstill the best kiss in the world because it’s with his boyfriend.

They pull apart and Eliott just stares at him. “I’m so luckyand really drunk, I’m gonna throw up now.” Lucas processes all the words asquick as he can, but not quick enough to avoid Eliott throwing up all over hisshoes. God, he really loves him. He ignores the vomit on his feet and helps hisboyfriend to the toilet, slowly rubbing his back while he heaves into the whiteceramic shitter.

Yeah, he may be a great party with throw up on his sneakersand a drunk boyfriend throwing up into the toilet, but there’s no place he’drather be.

Lucas

“No, no, guys. Him!” Lucas is pointing in the direction of a very tall, very handsome stranger standing in the corner of the crowded living room.

Yann is making sure he knows who Lucas is pointing to. “Him, Lucas?”

“Nooooo! The tall, dark, mysterious one in the black leather jacket!” Lucas whines incredulously. He hears Arthur and Basile snickering and he does know quite why, but honestly he doesn’t care. He has his sights set on that boy and he was going to get him.

“Oh, you mean Eliott?” Yann asks Lucas, seemingly knowing everything.

Eliott. What a cute name. How has he not met him yet? Wow, Lucas is smitten before he even meets him. He has to meet him like yesterday. He slurps down the rest of his beer. “I’m gonna go flirt him up!” He hops up from the couch, noticing Yann’s smug expression.

“Yeah? Gonna go flirt him up?” Yann smiles then holds his drink up to his lips.

“Yeah, Lucas, go get him!” Arthur laughs and gives him a reassuring pat on the back. Basile gives him two thumbs up and Lucas is good to go. He’s totally got this in the bag.

When he looks to find Eliott, he’s disappeared, presumably into the kitchen, because Lucas hears what he assumes is his voice. It’s the only beautiful one he’s heard all night. He follows the sound and finds Eliott leaning up against the counter, chatting with an objectively pretty girl. No, absolutely not. He will not allow this girl to flirt with his future man. He rudely interrupts their conversation and finds that he doesn’t really care.

“Hey, sweet thang.” In retrospect, not the smoothest thing he could say, but he’s intoxicated, so he’s not exactly thinking with the most clarity.

Eliott turns to him and he wants those eyes on him all the time, all day everyday. He eyes Lucas up like a piece of candy and the look sends signals straight down south.

“Hey babe,” his smooth voice almost makes Lucas’ eyes bulge out of his head. His ears are melting and his heart stutters at the ‘babe’.

Time to turn up the charm. “You come here often?” That’s one of his best lines, he knows.

Eliott raises his eyebrows, and smiles. “All the time babe, don’t know how I could’ve missed a pretty face like yours.” Fuck, this guy was good.

“Guess you’re not observant then, cause I’m here all the time, handsome.” The last word was involuntary. Sometimes his brain adds unnecessary words to his sentences. He doesn’t appreciate it.

“Aw do you think I’m handsome?” Eliott giggles and gives Lucas a big smile. The smile is mesmerizing.

“Mhmm very pretty,” he blurts out, but doesn’t bother to feel embarrassed. He does hear something behind him though, and when he turns he sees his friends standing there nearly shitting their pants with laughter. What’s so funny? He frowns. He’s just trying to get some from a cute guy.

“Why the frown?” Eliott looks at him curiously and with concern. He’s just about to tell him why when the thought occurs to him that he doesn’t even know if Eliott is single. He can’t flirt with a taken man, he doesn’t roll that way.

“Are you here with anyone?” Lucas’ eyes bore into Eliott’s. Eliott stands there for a minute too long and Lucas is dreading the answer.

“Nah, babe,” Eliott is speaking and there are hands settling on his ass, pulling him forward and positioning him right in between Eliott’s legs, “I’m all yours.” The last words are whispered into his ear right before he feels Eliott nibble on his earlobe. Lucas lays his palms on Eliott’s chest and leans into him. The nibbling on his ear stops, “mhmm babe, are you crossed? You reek of weed and booze.”

Lucas ducks his head and suddenly feels the need to pull away, but when he does, the hands on his ass keep him right in that spot. “I may have smoked and drank a bit. I get it if you don’t want to hookup with me.” The hands apply pressure, and Lucas gasps. One of them peel off and take Lucas’ hand, guiding it towards his crotch, which Lucas feels is big and hard. Fuck.

“You have no idea how much I want you. Can you feel it?” Eliott makes Lucas’ hand cup the tent in his jeans and his thoughts are running rampant. Eliott wants him. This has to be a dream. Lucas hopes it never ends. “I just want to make sure you want this.”

Lucas thinks his head may snap from how fast he nods his head. “Please.” It comes out way more whiny than Lucas intends, but he doesn’t care. The next thing is feels is Eliott’s tongue in his mouth and he sighs obscenely. There’s another noise behind him, but he doesn’t bother to look or be concerned with it. Whatever it is, it isn’t bothering them.

They continue like that for a few minutes, with Eliott eventually pressing him up against the counter and grinding up on him before Lucas takes a pause. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Eliott asks, brushing a piece of hair from Lucas’ fallen quiff out of his face. Everytime Eliott calls him a variation of ‘baby’, he can feel his cheeks flush.

“I’m a little tired,” Lucas says, playing nervously with the zipper on Eliott’s hoodie, “can we go back to your place?” he briefly glances up and can only see fondness on the boy’s face.

“Of course cutie. Let me get my coat.” Lucas nods and Eliott jogs off in search of his jacket. When he does return, he smiles at Lucas and puts an arm around his waist with the purpose of steadying him, but Lucas just thinks it’s because Eliott wants his hand there, which isn’t entirely untrue.

They leave the party, not even bothering to say goodbye to the boys, because Lucas is going to a hot guy’s house and there are way more important things to think about. He can feel Eliott’s hand in his and enjoys the walk thoroughly, despite it being slightly chilly out. Scratch that, it’s very chilly, but that might be because Lucas isn’t wearing a jacket or any outerwear at all, really. He must of left it at home or back at the party, maybe? Oh well, it doesn’t matter now, except Eliott seems to notice it.

“Are you cold, babe? Would you like my jacket?” Lucas hates saying yes, but he’s very cold so he nods shallowly. Eliott smiles as he shrugs his jacket off and holds it out for Lucas to slip his arms through. The first thing he notices about the jacket is that Eliott is big. Either that or he just enjoys oversized clothing because Lucas is actually swimming in it, but he doesn’t care. He’s warm and cozy and honestly a bit sleepy. His yawn signals that to Eliott, who inquires about it and when Lucas agrees that yes, he is just a bit tired because it’s late and he’s very intoxicated, Eliott takes it upon himself to scoop Lucas up bridal style and carry him the rest of the way to the apartment.

Lucas must have fallen asleep somewhere between where they were when Eliott gave him his jacket and Eliott’s apartment because he wakes up in a cozy bed under blankets and no jacket. Eliott isn’t here, but he can hear movement in the bathroom and assumes that’s him. When he enters his bedroom, Lucas’ mouth waters a little bit. He’s shirtless, and in just boxers, and Lucas wants to keep eyeing him up and maybe even jump him like a tree, but his eyelids are competing with that desire.

“Hi baby, how are you?” Eliott says, noticing he’s awake when he crawls underneath the covers with Lucas.

“Mhm good. Cuddle me?” He asks, not a shred of shame evident in his voice.

Eliott does so immediately. Soon, Lucas is warm because of body heat and blankets and snuggles into his chest, falling asleep easily and resolving to definitely asking Eliott out on a date when he wakes up.

The next morning, he awakens in the clothes he wore to the party last night and with a pounding headache. His boyfriend pulls him closer and snuggles into the crook of his neck so he can sleepily make fun of Lucas forgetting that they were dating. Lucas denies that ridiculousness, because how in the world could he ever forget that he was dating Eliott? Well, thanks to Yann, Eliott now has video proof and will not be letting Lucas forget this for a long time.

#prompts

[migleefulmoments]

The whole "His team is stopping/forcing him" trope is proof they have no concept of the entertainment industry. Darren's team consists of manager-publicist-stylist, none of which would have a job with him if he wasn't actively engaged in that type of work. They make and project his celebrity branding, not him as a person per se. Darren owns TSG, his team have nothing to do with promoting it or making it successful, that's on Darren, Mia and staff. Anything personal in on Darren, NOT his team.

You’re spot on.  What gets me is that DARREN is the BOSS. He hires his team- his manager, PR, stylist, agent, lawyers, accountants etc to work FOR him, to promote his business which is his own skills as an actor, singing, writer, performer, and host. But he also does a lot of producing and that is something that takes a lot of time and isn’t Instagram worthy. His team works WITH him on those projects as well. Ricky is a co-producer for Elsie every year.  

The point is that his team doesn’t own him, the team isn't the central figure and Darren simply hired to work for them. Darren is the CEO and Head of Human Resources for Darren Criss Inc. From various articles I have read, he also does a lot of the secretarial and assistant work himself. All the departments at Darren Criss Inc. report to Darren Criss. Full Stop. The team is put in place to advise him on the various areas in which they are experts, they don’t have a master plan and pull Darren’s puppet strings.  

The ccers have a trope about Ricky having Darren’s Power of Attorney (POA) which he misuses. They claim that Ricky signs contracts for shows and #ads that are harmful to Darren’s career. Because -once again -an unreachable contract is involved, Darren is “forced” to fulfill the contracts for whatever work Ricky can find that both hurts Darren and gives Ricky great work. Their main complaint is that the work is far beneath his 4x-award-winning skills. In other words, Ricky is forcing Darren to do projects that are far OFF of the yellow brick road to the A-list. Why you might ask, would Ricky do this when his income is dependent on Darren being successful? The ccers claim that he does this both out of spite-you know just to terrorize Darren- and his own short-sighted greed. He’s aiming for “all the money he can get” from Darren AND as the same time trying to ruin Darren before Darren fires him. But lawyer Abby knows this isn’t how POAs work. It’s either a gross mischaracterization or an outright lie. Google it for yourself.  A POA holder MUST do what is in the best interest of the person who gave the power.  This isn’t ambiguous. You aren’t allowed to just wreck havoc on someone’s life because they trusted you with their POA. Ricky has Darren’s POA for Darren’s convenience- so that Ricky can sign contracts and make deals without Darren having to be present to sign, but make no mistake, Darren is making the final decision. 

The other trope that makes me shake my head is the idea that Ricky is “forcing” Darren to do #Ads so that Ricky can get paid. Is Darren so stupid that he gave his manager a bigger cut of his income than he gave himself? Cuz that would make him a spineless twit. Come on, we all know that Darren is making the more money than Ricky is. I don’t actually believe all of the #ads are ads. Some are just people promoting their products they worked with Darren on the wedding- most makers and small businesses do that now -like it’s a “thing” on Facebook and Instagram.  Some are just # because it’s nice to link things that you love and some are ads. Who cares? It’s income. It’s his prerogative to support brands he loves. 

Darren isn’t a feckless idiot who can’t get his own life under control. In their haste to effort to rewrite history to delete all things Darren says that do not support crisscolfer, they have created a character who looks nothing like the Darren Criss we all see OR the Darren Criss they pretend to see. It’s like they can’t put the entire picture together.  Just a few nice comments about Darren from today: 

RE: His “bar baby” and a place he described as a long dream of theirs , and where his friends and interviewers have referred to “Darren’s bar” . 

klainecentric

I’ve always said, that place is just place for their own personal piss up, drug sniffing, vagina rubbing strip joint use. Just a place as a hang out for them and their “friends” and maybe on the odd occasion look like she has a job at her one convenience but never actually work, just drink what little if any profit they make which will be nil……and stand around a piano, block the view from patrons who pay to get in and torture them with whatever song she may screech out…my bet it’ll be “what’s up”…I could go on but its just too infuriating. Rant over.

About the CHARITY fundraiser Darren attended 

ajw720

Compare videos from last night to videos of Wednesday night.  Granted on Wednesday the entertainment sucked and on Thursday there was talent, but still, it is all about D bringing the people.

It totally erased for me that he went to a cool event. The event was chosen over We Day as it was a better opportunity to market the strip joint. Plain and simple.  There is NOTHING i can enjoy about D and 2019.  It is an utter shitshow and even the few good things are absolutely connected to bad starting with awards season.

ajw720 (about a photo of Darren on the red carpet with Bob Saget aka no Mia in sight)

An angel got her wings again:)

leka-1998

Of course, the man who swept award season should absolutely continue to be the piano man for a bar he doesn’t own and she got bored with a long time ago. At some point you should admit you failed. No matter how much D promotes this place, 1) it should be shut down by the department of health and 2) nobody cares about the place if he isn’t there.

Anonymous asked:

Thank god his I'm straighter than straight mate Ben is there 😒

I laughed when I saw the pic. BF and his wife are absolutely being pushed as the straight friends.

Wonder if they too went to the strip joint after.

emmywinnercriss

Remember when Computer Games had a club and you would get exclusive BTS for being in the club?

Yeah, what happened?

ajw720

Apparently nothing.

ajw720

Looks like a fun event. Still a one off thing. That’s the pattern.

And ofc he ended the night at the strip joint. So clearly the price of doing something semi fit him his promo for that place.

klainecentric

Can we just stop with all this BS now, I’m so sick of waking up in the morning and seeing “if it’s even possible” more crap involving this sham relationshit, and that whore house of a strip bar, I feel like I can safely say D’s career is almost officially up the shitter. Maybe not quite there yet but it’s heading there real fast. I can no longer scroll through SM without it being flooded with this sham. No where is safe that is a place to just revel in the joy that is just D and his talent. Looks like team shit is getting what they want…..to leech, to hog and to ruin a man’s career as it was getting off the ground. Bravo.

That is just one post from last night and the rest from today. They hate Darren and can’t see through their bullshit clearly enough to realize it. The fandom has no where to go but down into hell even farther. They are so caught up in anger, hate, misogyny there is no redemption. They even made fun of Ashley Weston for having an allergic reaction to something.  

If they are ACTIVELY and aggressively stalking Mia on social media, they gonna find her. They are want to be filled with hate.  

[invokingbees]

Top Games of the Decade

IT ME FAVOURITE GAMES OF THE LAST DECADE!!!!! OH SHIT!!!!!

Entirely predictable but here you go:

2010 - Demon's Souls

Fuck you! Came out in PAL territories, aka, me, in 2010, so it counts. I played the Souls series ass backwards, and played Demon's nearly last, but I completely and utterly fell in love with it. I've babbled like a fool about it before, but it boils down to its powerful atmosphere of horror and strange hostility, as well as its gameplay which holds up so well, it's still fluid and satisfying, the soundtrack is unique, its mechanics are baffling and weird and I just really, really honestly love it to bits. And you can get back online again with the fan server! Or emulate it if you have a powerbeast of a PC, but no online.

2011 - Dark Souls

I mean, I guess, I've played it four or five times now. It's actually my least favourite of the Souls games for gameplay, it's a step back from Demon's in terms of general movement and combat, but it can't be denied that its lore is so powerful. It sets up a fascinating mythological world of pseudo-materialist fantasy, it's full of implication and possibilities, full of holes and shit that makes no sense and we love it, it's perfect. It's enthralling. I might not enjoy actually playing it but I could talk about it for hours.

2012 - Dishonored

I was never one for stealth games, because I'm shit at them. But for some reason I checked this out and I'm REALLY glad I did. I found the gameplay really fun, the powers are super fun and the levels are great to explore. Also, time stop. But what I came out of the game with was a fascinating setting with a weird Victorian/Dieselpunk setting that goes HARD cosmic horror, but really subtly. Dishonored's world is incredibly well structured, the story of Corvo's revenge against the assassin who killed his girlfriend THE EMPRESS and kidnapped his daughter THE HEIR TO THE THRONE takes precedence, but throughout it all is a looming sense of a cold, hostile universe of weird alien horror. There's the ever-present implication that killing off the whales will make something horrible happen. There's the occult nature of the nameless Outsider and the people who worship it and try to contact it. There's a supercontinent across a monstrous ocean filled with who knows what horrible shit. The setting is so full of flavour and I love exploring it every playthrough.

2013 - Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen & MGR: Revengeance

This poor, poor fucking game. Gutted in production, whittled down, concepts stripped away, areas ripped out. The game isn't even half as big as it was in early production. And yet it is STILL amazing. A grand fantasy adventure with a rich, classic, mythological feel to it, with a fairly unique metaphysical component behind it all. Dragon's Dogma is the story of you, a no-name fucko whose comfy little village gets attacked by the best dragon in all of media, you're the only madman with the sheer balls to attack it, get slapped away, and then get your heart stolen and turned into a semi-immortal Arisen, who is goaded to go fight that fucking dragon. But there is a LOT going on behind the scenes, both in the Duchy of Gransys and the very universe. Dragon's Dogma is like the best loveletter to medieval European fantasy I've ever seen, its monsters have a gnarly medieval manuscript look to them, ripped right out of Classical mythology, folklore and traditional fantasy. There's court intrigue, dark secrets, much talk of destiny and epic quests. Everything about Dragon's Dogma is just pulsating with ADVENTURE. You get up to three other companions, your Pawns, inter-dimensional pseudo-humans whom only the Arisen can command. That's where it starts getting weird, the game has a whole theme about the power of will, cosmic cycles and shit. And that's not even mentioning the SICK FUCKING COMBAT. Directed by Hideaki Itsuno, he of Devil May Cry fame, the game has robust and really powerfully satisfying combat, even a DMC Stinger. You can climb on monsters to attack weak points, glide on harpies, your pawns mimic your strategies like re-lighting extinguished lanterns - there's so many little details you can discover for yourself in exploration and combat. Of course, the game also has the most visually impressive and satisfying magic of any videogame. You haven't felt powerful until you've played a Dragon's Dogma Sorcerer, calling down meteors, summoning spires of ice, point blank sniping drakes out of the fucking AIR, or piggy-backing on your Sorcrer pawn's in-progress spell to suddenly unleash a massive torrent of DAMAGE. Gransys is also a beautiful place to explore, and the main hub, Gran Soren, feels like a proper huge town, as well. The game has quirks, mainly in its slightly weird levelling system, as well as the delightful pawn chatter that reminds you at every turn how wolves hunt, or what goblins are weak to. But then there's Dark Arisen, a tragic tale set in a pocket dimension or possible 'outside' realm, pitting you against the rage of a former Arisen who spurned the cycle, a massive hard as shit megadungeon full of really great stuff. I just cannot recommend it enough, and it's on just about literally every fucking platform.

I have never played a Metal Gear game before. I'm a shitter and they're kind of hard to track down where I am. Just how it is. I'm also massively intimidated by them. But then I watched Super Best Friends (RIP) play this fucking nonsense and I knew I had to feel it for myself. What is there to say? It's fun, it's goofy, it's played totally straight and quite serious at times, it's an absolute meme engine, it's so full of character and flavour, it is undistilled HYPE jammed into a disc by divine spirits and doled out to humanity. I'm not a character action man, never been good at DMC games, and I will never be good at them, or this, but by GOD do I have fun whenever I play it. Zandatsu is just the shit, forever, every song is GREAT, the game so expertly drives and controls moments of exciement and tension, it's like a big blockbuster movie that actually cares and has something complex at the core of it. Yeah there's like political and cultural concepts and musings and that's great, but I'm an idiot who wants to cut things with my sword. Everything and everyone is charismatic, and most importantly, totally earnest. It never really winks at you or says 'hurr we're sooo cuh-razy amirite', it just does its thing and nothing ever feels out of place. We can be talking about destabilizing impoverished nations with corporation-led private armies one moment and chuckling at MEMES DNA OF THE SOUL the next and it feels fucking normal. I'm rambling but I just really love Revengeance and I have no idea how to handle it. What an entry point into such a convoluted series.

2014 - Dark Souls II

Ah yes, the black sheep of the family, the only one not directed (but kinda overseen) by Miyazaki, with a notoriously troubled production whose director was fired halfway through and replaced, then the game kind of scrambled together. But, like Dragon's Dogma, it kind of worked out well. DaS2 is recognizably Dark Souls. But what I like most about it is, like a lot games I love, the story, the world, the feeling. Dark Souls 1 and 3 are grand, they're about cycles and fates and illusions, but DaS2 has a really personal angle. You came to Drangleic to free yourself of the curse. You're not a Chosen Undead or anything, you're someone that by their own hand, went out to cure themselves of the undead curse. You got there, and found the kingdom in shambles, the king gone, something horrible having happened. So you find out that he probably has the answer, and you go track him down, only slightly unwittingly following in his own footsteps, doing what he did. Before you know it, you're fit to become the next monarch. And when you finally do find the king, hollowed and mindless, well you best pick up the pieces and do this monarch thing. And you do it...maybe. You take the throne, the most powerful being in the world. It's up to you what happens next. Or maybe you don't, and leave to find another way out of the curse. I love the feel of Drangleic, it feels wartorn, I love the details put into making you feel like you're traversing an old battlefield with the hollowed out soldiers still following their last orders, their last memories. The Giants, as characters, are fascinating, however little we get of them. Revealed to not be monsters, but a people King Vendrick attacked and stole something from, who struck back in violent retalation for a horrible wrongdoing. Dark Souls 2 is just far enough removed from Dark Souls 1 that it could be its own things that brings over a few core ideas. I would have liked to see that happen in Dark Souls 3, but alas. My love of Dark Souls 2 is almost all lore, world, flavour. Its gameplay is actually fine, I think, a lot of people think its bad but I think DaS1 combat is pretty bad. The game has issues, like the doubling down on difficulty but not really getting it well, but for all the problems it has, it does a ton of things very well. It introduced some great ideas we never saw again, like bonfire ascetics, powerstancing, a changed up NG+, full left-hand movesets, and so on.

2015 - Bloodborne

You don't even know, you can't even comprehend, I doubt you could even imagine my love for this thing. It was my first 'Souls' game (although I think it's different enough it shouldn't be lumped under that banner) and it is, to this day, and forever shall be, my favourite. It is, in my opinion, THE best piece of modern Lovecraftian media out there. Period. It handles everything just so right, despite being an action game, it never betrays what makes Lovecraftian, and wider cosmic horror work. I could go on a very, very long time about all of this and one day I might. Bloodborne is just basically perfect, tonally, thematically, it's so rich and weird and intricate and it is, all of it, balanced with masterful precision. Gameplay-wise, it's just so f u c k i n g o o d. Like, this here, this is the best it's ever been. DaS1 feels like glacial ass compared to this, awkward, stuttering, lacking in energy. DaS2 is fine, in fact I think it's the best speed for the Souls game, but man are like all of the movesets just really bizarre and unsatsifying. DaS3 is just turbomode seizure-souls with zero weight, and don't get me started on the bossfights. But Bloodborne? It is both fast and heavy, the ferocity of attacks has weight, everything hits with satisfaction, every weapon is tailor made to be unique and feel unique. The game is a labour of love made with tech more than capable of realizing it, and it shows. There's nary a thing in the game that doesn't feel polished, that doesn't feel out of place. We know from datamining Bloodborne got switched around and whittled down a lot, but these were clearly necessary changes by a director honing a concept into perfection. And just as a weird cosmic horror gothic action game, it's so strange in just general existence it deserves to stand out and be praised. And although shitters and fools will bandie around the word edgy, they're tasteless jackasses with no ounce of aesthetic nuance.

2016 - Dark Souls III and Far Cry: Primal

CAVEMAN SHIT IS COOL AND WE REALLY DON'T GET ENOUGH OF IT. Never played a Far Cry game apart from this one, never plan to! I just like me unga bungas! What can I say, the land of Oros is gorgeous, the light, the trees, the mountains, the marshes, the animal sounds and deep rumble of caves, the proto Indo-European language crafted especially for the game, it's a place I just like walking around. It's supremely comfy and dangerous and exciting. Gameplay is a complete template sure, regardless of having never touched another Far Cry game I can feel that, but it sure as shit works.

Dark Souls 3 is a very complex game, because while it's a total smorgasbord of top tier dark fantasy aesthetics, none of it really comes together very well, it's a game oozing with creativity, but also feels like a haphazard mishmash. It's a game Miyazaki didn't really want to make, but had to, after the reception of DaS2. But for all that it's just Bloodborne Souls, it's still a fantastic game full of memorable enemies, areas, bosses, a game with a really unique general tone of exhaustion in every little detail, of a world falling apart at the seams. And you don't save it, either. The good end of Dark Souls 3 is the end of fire, but it doesn't really accomplish anything other than letting nature take its long diverted course. The DLCs don't fix that either, everything ends up in the Dreg Heap, all of 'human enterprise' for naught, but there's a smidgen of hope in the new painted world whose pigment is Dark. As you can tell I like DaS3 far more for its atmosphere and flavour rather than its story (which actually makes no sense whatsoever and is the worst in the series due to being literally incomprehensible and unfinished) or gameplay, which is perfectly fine and fun at many points, but the bossfights mostly boil down to flailing around like a fucking lunatic with 15 hit combos. There's concepts like the Deep which are so fundamentally important to major players but vague and with little to no elaboration. I literally couldn't tell you what Pontiff Sulyvahn was about, and he's supposed to be the main villain? DaS3 suffered its internal change arounds in a way that it came out weaker, with many other concepts dashed aside. But that doesn't stop it all from being fascinating and being a nicely definitive, if massively obscure, ending to a landmark series. When your game ends at the literal end of all time, you're done. Good night.

2017 - 2019 fucking nothing I guess

Yeah not even joking here, gaming more or less ended in 2016 for me. Yes I've played games since then but nothing's left an impact for me the ways the others have, and I played all those past their prime. All but two of my favourites were Japanese games, too.

Honourable Mentions:

The Elder Scrolls Skyrim

Gotta mention it. Dumped literal years into this fucking thing. And that was on Xbox 360 with no mods! But it proved far too shallow in the end, and even with the Special Edition that allowed mods on consoles, it's just not good enough. Frankly, Dark Souls has ruined videogames for me and I pray Bethesda pull up the slack with TES6 and reintroduce the flavour that makes TES what it is, and gives us more than serviceable combat. But as for Skyrim, it's fucking boring and shallow, story is rail-roady as fuck, combat is just terrible aside from some magick, although Shouts will be forever iconic, and will be one the more fun and interesting videogame powers for me.

Death Stranding

I got to this a little late, and had I played it earlier and completed it, it would likely be 2019's best game for me. As I'm still barely into it, I can't say much more than its mechanics are fantastically fresh, no game has made just walking around so enthralling and the world is compelling and bizarre. Every BT encounter is tense and boy are they fuckin spooky. I'm dying to know where it'll go next.

God of War

I'm a fan of the old GoW games because they're really fun and super over the top. GoW2 is one of my favourite games, it's incredibly well made, great environments and combat and bosses. It's a big ol' blockbuster. Dad of Boy is a very different beast. Scaled way, way down, and given the Sony Cinematic treatment, though not necessarily to its detriment. The game has problems. I mean, yeah, Kratos snapping Baldr's neck and saying 'violence is bad' is kind of fucking stupid, but I guess I get what they were going for. Gameplay-wise, pretty good. The axe is satisfying, though the Blades of Chaos are more so, and actual hits do feel nice and heavy, though I bemoan the lack of blood. What's most suprising is how it felt like a God of War game just from a different angle, the exploration and puzzles were familiar in feel. In fact I have a lot of praise for the game in its characters and gameplay, even its story. But I'll probably never play it again. Once completed I felt absolutely no want to go back again, despite the NG+ introduction. I hope they follow it up.

Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order

I was very unsure about this but something took a hold of me and one trade in of Skyrim later, I was home playing Star Wars. And oh look, it's the best piece of Star Wars media since the buyout! Mandalorian aside, but there's very little that feels 'Star Wars' about that other than the paintjob. Anyway. Fallen Order takes place somewhere between episodes 3 and 4 in a newly risen Empire before Luke and all that shit happens. Ex-Padawan Cal Kestis is hiding out on some junkyard scrapper world and has to run when he saves a buddy with the Force. He teams up with an ex-Jedi, a space goblin, the best droid buddy ever and eventually a goth alien to find a Jedi Holocron containing info on young Force-sensitives throughout the galaxy before the Empire gets it. It has a wonderful sense of adventure to it, and that really holds it together. I actually think it feels like a remaster of an older gen game, to be honest, especially the platforming which just feels far too videogamey, but that doesn't stop it from being fun. The combat is almost ripped right out of Sekiro but I like this waaaaay more than Sekiro. Effortlessly deflecting blaster shots back at Stormtroopers and taking out whole groups is the good shit. Fighting melee guys is challening but never oppresively so, and bossfights against Inquisitors are fairly gruelling but rewarding. If you're a shitter with no reaction times like me, you can switch that up almost on the fly so you don't end up feeling like every encounter is a chore. Best of all is the lightsaber customization, a necessity for any Jedi-centric Star Wars game and now you can even remove Cere Junda's ligthsaber switch with the latest update! But you know what? Unless they release DLC, like God of War, I don't know if I'll ever play it again.

Ziggurat

Combining wizards, Quake and rogue-likes, Ziggurat has you playing a wizard shooting your way through a trial to be accepted into an order of magicians. That's it. You get your wand and can pick up a rapid fire staff weapon, mid-range spell weapon and slow but powerful alchemy weapon. There's a bunch of different ones for each type, some better or more satisfying than others. There's talismans that can grant special abilities but with long recharge times. Most importantly there's the level up system where you must choose one or two random perks each time. This is where the variety and replay value comes in, making the most of perks you get and potentially building absolute beasts of characters over five levels. Games are short but sweet. You unlock different characters too, based on things achieved in-game. Each character starts with a number of perks and some have unique handicaps like low starting health or levelling up slower. Honestly, not much to say other than I really enjoy it, it's super fun to pick up for half an hour and play.